September 24, 2025 • 31 mins
Want to connect with Tj & Plaideau? Send us a text message.
Resilience takes center stage as actress, writer, and producer Eileen Gruba shares her extraordinary 30-year journey through the entertainment industry. From childhood tragedy to industry trailblazer and advocate for disabled actors, Eileen's story captivates with raw honesty and unwavering determination.
Sponsored by Jana McCaffery Attorney at Law. Have you been injured? New Orleans based actor, Jana McCaffery, has been practicing law in Louisiana since 1999 focusing on personal injury since 2008. She takes helping others very seriously and, if you are a fellow member of the Louisiana film industry and have been injured, she is happy to offer you a free consultation and a reduced fee to handle your case from start to finish. She can be reached at Have you been injured? New Orleans based actor, Jana McCaffery, has been practicing law in Louisiana since 1999, specializing in personal injury since 2008. She takes helping others very seriously. If you have been injured, Jana is offering a free consultation AND a reduced fee for fellow members of the Lousiana film industry, and she will handle your case from start to finish. She can be reached at janamccaffery@gmail.com or 504-837-1234. Tell Her NOLA Film Scene sent you
Follow us on IG @nolafilmscene, @kodaksbykojack, and @tjsebastianofficial. Check out our 48 Hour Film Project short film Waiting for Gateaux: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5pFvn4cd1U . & check out our website: nolafilmscene.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name's Eileen Gruba.
I'm an actress, I'm a writerand producer.
I've been in the industry 30years and I'm excited to have
worked with these guys and to beon the NOLA film scene.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Excellent Welcome to NOLA film scene with TJ Plato.
I'm TJ and, as always, I'mPlato.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Welcome back to NOLA film scene.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Good to see you again .
Can't thank you enough forbeing on the show.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you.
So what's going on with thefilm, guys?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
The film, folks, is this Soldier's Heart and it's a
story about PTSD and how asoldier and a cop and they are
dealing with it.
So, eileen and I have a mutualfriend His name is Jim Vess and
when we were looking for actorsand actresses, he and I started
talking and we reached out toyou to play the sheriff's wife
and you graciously accepted.
We got you down here.
It is in post-production.
(00:49):
We filmed last March, march of2024, february, and so it's
close.
We're hoping to have it done byVeterans Day, that's nice it
would.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
How many veterans did you have working on that
project?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
That's a good question.
I don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I know at least one who is on this podcast over
there with the long beard.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
TJ, you're a veteran, but I thought, brian, I thought
you are too.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
No, no, I did not serve.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Got it.
So, tj, did you help write thestory.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I didn't.
I actually didn't meet Mattuntil that project.
Brian helped me get involvedwith it.
Since then, matt and I haveworked together a pretty good
bit, but up until then, no, Ihad very little involvement in
it.
I was just thankful to haveeven a small one liner at the
end of it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And I almost played the sheriff, so I was almost
your husband.
So when Matt and I got together, we met at a coffee shop and we
started talking about thesheriff's role and he goes look,
you're in your 50s, thesheriff's in his 50s.
But you don't come across as inyour 50s.
I'm like what am I going to do?
Argue that he's telling me I'mtoo youthful.
And so Jeremy London had beenmy teacher a few times.
(01:58):
I took his classes on Zoom andthat's how we got Jeremy, and
then, through Jim, that's how wegot you.
So it's all those connections.
And I was not able to be thereon the day while you were
filming, I was getting the rackset at a sand quarry for free, I
was working some magic.
But my phone blew up and peoplewere stunned.
They were emotional with theemotions you were sharing.
(02:19):
It was, I can say, without evenbeing there.
You did a fantastic job.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Thank you, that was a challenging little character to
pull off there.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And we'll keep it under wraps until the movie
comes up.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah, we won't say, we won't say what's happening,
but yeah, but it was fun.
It was great working witheverybody.
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Was this your first time in New Orleans?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Heck.
No, no, I always loved NewOrleans.
As a matter of fact, when I wasin my early years of acting,
when I lived in Atlanta and Iwas training there and working
out at Alliance Theater anddoing community theater, I had
read some books and soon theywere going into production in
New Orleans Little littleunheard of books called
Interview with the Vampire, andI had connected with the casting
(03:01):
director.
I believe his last name wasLeBlanc Now I'm trying to
remember but anyway, I drove outto New Orleans with my friend
from Atlanta and just so I couldaudition for the film.
So close, so close, so close.
But the only characters thatwere available were, you know,
in my type range, were the girlswho get.
You know, the ones that they,they sucked all the blood out of
(03:25):
them.
And yeah, those ones.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
They would have made a meal out of you.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, the casting director came back later and
said they just wanted moresickly looking girls, you know,
more real, frail looking.
And that wasn't me.
I'm not frail, I didn't get it.
But it was a great adventureand to this day I can't go
through New Orleans withoutimagining the vampires and
everything, because I read thebooks and Anne Rice and I were
(03:50):
actually Facebook friends untilshe passed away.
But I also went back and forthto New Orleans through the years
to work and I did a movie therecalled Wild Oats and you know I
started my career in the southsoutheast in atlanta, then did
some work in new orleans andaround, but to this day the best
(04:11):
jobs I get are in the southeastway better than the
opportunities that I have in lathings have really started
changing a lot in the industry,especially in the south.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I haven't worked in so I can't speak to that.
Before the strike, just my ownpersonal experience.
Auditions were coming left andright and then it seems after
the strike at least for me cameto almost a screeching halt, and
the more time that's going onI'm seeing it slow down even
more and we keep hearing thateverything is moving away,
(04:45):
moving more to Atlanta.
Two productions that I canthink of off the top of my head,
that the first season wasfilmed here, got filmed
elsewhere.
One was filmed in Canada.
And then one production thatpeople were really excited was
coming to New Orleans.
We thought it would open somedoors.
Turns out they're just going toshoot some establishing shots,
like they do on a lot of stuff,and principal photography is
(05:08):
going to.
Everything's going to be inAtlanta and that's just really
disappointing how much it'sslowing down.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Atlanta really has taken over a lot of the market
and I started my career there,so I actually I would move back
there in a second if I was on ashow.
But to you know the way lifehas changed and things have
changed, it's like you know howexpensive everything's gotten
and once you give up yourapartment here, that's it.
You know, like if you come backit's going to cost three times
(05:37):
as much.
So you know, making the movewithout having a job to go to is
a little, you know so.
(05:58):
But I do keep trying to getback to the Southeast because,
quite frankly, I think I fit inthere better.
You know, even when I was young, I was far more accepted in the
entertainment industrycommunity, but that didn't seem
to bother anybody in Atlanta andit hasn't seemed to be a
problem in New Orleans.
Even when I worked on Wild Oatswith Jessica Lange and Shirley
McClain, I was like I hope theyknow, because they just asked me
(06:21):
to like come through a bank andrun out into their shot.
So I was like I'm happy to dothat, I just hope they know it's
not going to look like yourtypical runner.
And so I went up and whisperedit to the director.
I'm like I'm happy to dowhatever you're asking me to do.
I just want to make sure youknow that I have a race, so it's
going to look a littledifferent.
And he smiled and he said I'mfine with that.
(06:44):
And that was a beautiful thing,because people haven't
typically been known to be finewith it.
So when they have been fine withit, I am grateful.
And, for example, the moviethat we did, it just didn't
matter at all.
And in life it shouldn't matterat all.
I'm more active than everyfemale my age, but I do have
that, knowing that throughoutthe years in Atlanta they were
(07:07):
always cool about it, even when,even when I was going through
surgeries and on crutches andall that, they were always
really super cool about it andopen.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
So I miss the southeast, you know, I feel like
I fit in a little easier there,you know always keeping in mind
, tj and I did a it's called theseven and seven film seven days
to make a seven minute film forthe Abita Springs International
Film Festival.
But we made a Western.
But we want to take that andexpand it out.
We want to take that out andexpand it to a full feature.
(07:36):
And so if, when we do that, I'mnot going to say, if, when I'm
going to give you a call,whether it's a school mom, I'm
not going to say you're going tobe the can can dancer or you
know I'm going to find your rolebecause we want you back.
I, or you know I'm going tofind your role because we want
you back, I can do that.
Oh, you want the can-can toanswer?
We'll do it.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
But I can also play a school teacher, so that would
be an interesting character ifshe did both.
Yeah, yeah, I have to say I hadsuch a great time, you know,
when Jim reached out about ASoldier's Heart and I had no
idea what I was getting myselfinto at all zero.
And I knew it was low budgetand all that, but I had no idea
(08:10):
of what the budget was or any ofthat stuff.
And you know, my gut was justsaying, well, you know, be open,
just see what happens.
You know, I know a lot ofpeople.
Just you know their agents orsomething you'll turn something
down just without even checkingwith the artist.
And so I was like, just be open.
And then I had my little talk,you know phone conversations and
meets with them, and I was likethese are really nice people.
(08:32):
I'm like I'm going to go for it.
And so, you know, it was anunusual circumstance all of it,
even where they put me up andwith a family that was there and
everything.
And part of me was like hmm.
And then another part of me islike, well, that seems safer
than being alone somewhere inthis town that I don't know very
well, in the part of NewOrleans you were going to be in.
(08:54):
I don't know very well, so Isaid that feels safer for me as
a single girl who doesn't runwell as we've established
beautiful experience, Even justthe way Matt did everything, his
mom cooking for all of us likehome cooked meals, and her home
was just so open and welcomingto everybody and it just felt
(09:17):
like a family production I'mgetting emotional saying it.
It just felt like such a familyand everybody was so easy to
work with and play with.
And the actors the day that wewere at the I'm not going to
reveal anything, just we were atthat location where it was like
a community location.
Just the actors were so easy toplay with and connect with and
I just had a wonderful time I Icame away from that going wow.
(09:40):
I'm really glad I said yes tothat project, just simply for
the wonderful people I met andthe joy of getting to dive into
a quite challenging character toplay.
There's a lot of traps in thatand also there's a lot of
emotional resonance for me, forthat character, and so you know
it's a quite challenging one topull off.
Well, you know, and they justmade it easy, they all made it
(10:04):
easy and Matthew made it easyand it was just a great
experience all around.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And I think that's going to translate on screen too
.
I've seen a little bit of thefootage and I think that
closeness and that familyenvironment I think it's going
to translate, because I think alot of people walked away with a
similar experience.
I really enjoyed that shoot.
I really enjoyed that shoot andat the time that was one of my
first features that I had.
(10:30):
Yeah, that was probably thesecond feature that I had been
in.
At that point I had been on seton smaller things, but that was
, yeah, that was the first oneand I walked away with a lot of
friends and it was I'm not goingto say life-changing me but
career wise, it really was agreat experience.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And it was unique in that Matt obviously has had a
lot of experience in theindustry and typically what I've
seen through the years is thatwhen something's really really
low budget, that's when thepeople running it will be either
very fear based or verycondescending, which is weird,
because that's when you'regiving them basically your time,
(11:11):
because they really can'tafford to have you there and
you're giving them your time.
I've turned down stuff justbecause of the fact that those
are the environments you'reusually poorly treated in and
I'm not going to be poorlytreated.
After all the work I've donethrough the years and how hard
I've tried and how hard I'vetrained and the work I've done,
I'm like I'm great inenvironments where people just
(11:32):
respect each other's work.
And so, like I said, I didn'tknow what I was getting into,
but my gut was saying, yes,these are good people.
And boy, my gut instinct wasright on that and I had no idea
what kind of budget they wereworking with until after the
fact.
And I came home and had I knownhow low it was and known who
(11:52):
these people were going to be,and I would have completely done
it for free it was.
I mean, I'm not supposed to saythat I'm on the union board.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I was going to say don't say that People will hear
this.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
One of those experiences that was just so,
just so wonderful.
Everybody was was amazing, and Ithink back on it very fondly
and I I have a lot of reasons inmy life to believe that things
are bigger than us, much biggerthan us.
And um, looking around hismother's home where we were
hosted for this, I saw a lot ofangels and a lot of things that
reminded me of my parents, wholeft this world many years ago,
(12:25):
and I was like, okay, exactlywhere I'm supposed to be and
meeting the kind of people I'msupposed to be meeting, and I'll
take that away with me, nomatter what happens with the
film.
It was a wonderful experienceand I think the actors there are
really gracious and kind and Ihope that we all do get to do a
lot more things together.
I told Matt I have a film I'vebeen working on for New Orleans
(12:47):
that I started writing years agobecause it was inspired by
something that I experiencedthat I had, and then it's a
fantastic, fantastic meaninglike Harry Potter, fantastic
kind of movie set in New Orleansand in the swamp surroundings.
So I've got to finish that oneand get it out there, but it
would be a big budget, so I'llfigure that one out.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
It is, I'm in.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You're in.
Yeah, and one of my friendsmoved there, by the way, one of
my friends from the actor'sstudio.
You know we train ridiculousamounts of time here and I spent
many years of my life at theactor's studio, so that's like
family.
And one of my friends, Flo,left LA and moved to New Orleans
Orleans and I did end up goingback and helping her with a
(13:29):
thesis film she was doing forfilm school.
So I did get back to NewOrleans for that.
But when she was there I wentand stayed with her for a little
while and ran around the cityand I just, I just love that.
I love the culture there and Ihope it never changes.
I hope that all the uniquenessof New Orleans stays, stays that
way, because you know how bigcities get modernized and pretty
soon you have a Dunkin Donutswhere there used to be a gothic
(13:51):
building or something, and youknow you just miss all the
uniqueness of places like NewOrleans and I hope it always
keeps that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, my Uber driver today was from Columbia and it's
the same thing.
Like you're saying and we hearit a lot, people come to New
Orleans, whether it's Mardi Grasor just you know, experience
the city and the city gets intheir soul.
Same thing with acting.
I stumbled across it and it wasso much fun and I feel like I
took like a duck to water in alot of ways and it's like a
calling.
You find where you need to beor where you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
And that leads us into my favorite question is
what inspired you to get intothis business?
Oh gosh, that is amulti-layered question.
I got a very complicated answerto that, but I'll try to keep
it tight.
So when I was a little girl Iwas very active, a very athletic
, active kid, and then we gotvaccines for school that nearly
killed me and I ended up in awheelchair.
So now I'm from this hugefamily, I got a lot of siblings
and I can't go do everythingthey're doing anymore.
(14:51):
You know I'm stuck in awheelchair and they're out
playing in the snow and runningand I'm like.
So my mom brought me a lot ofart supplies and so I started
creating worlds.
You know like we werefinancially wiped out by what
happened.
And my father, you know he didfixed cars and you know, and had
a lot of kids and trying to payfor my medical stuff and it
(15:12):
makes me sad thinking about whatthey must have gone through.
But my mom, because we didn'thave a lot of money, she would
go to the newspaper place wherethey printed the newspapers back
then and she would get therolls of paper they threw out
and she would bring them homebecause they still had a ton of
paper on them and then she wouldalso get all the crayons at the
end of the school year that thekids they were throwing out
(15:35):
because they were all the brokencrayons.
I had a massive box of brokencrayons and newspaper print that
I would roll across the floorbecause I could crawl all across
the floor and get around in myarms and I would draw worlds,
pictures, houses, everything Idreamed of I would draw, and I
started getting very crafty anddoing arts and crafts and
(15:55):
creating.
And among that creating Istarted making paper mache
puppets and making little puppetshows and honestly, that's how
performing started in my life.
And then as I got older and youknow, one big factor also was
that when I was in my wheelchair, we would go to my brother's
(16:16):
football games and I didn't wantto stay in the stands with
everybody.
I wanted my mom to take me withmy little wheelchair and put me
in front of the cheerleaders,because I didn't care about the
football players, I wanted towatch the cheerleaders because I
wanted to be a cheerleader.
So I used to sit there likejust right in front of them,
watching the cheerleaders thewhole time and I used to just
keep saying I want to be acheerleader.
I want to be a cheerleader, andthat's sort of a performance
(16:37):
art, right.
Well, so as soon as I couldwalk again, I was trying out for
the cheerleading teams, and,you know, even at a young age.
And so I did become acheerleader and because, you
know, my arms were strong and myvoice was really strong for
calling for my mom when my peerswere tormenting me, I became
the captain of the cheerleadingteam and just going on to do
(16:58):
that kind of performance andthen we did some stage stuff in
high school but it really got me.
When I was going to be an artistI was going to be a fashion
designer, all those things and Imoved to Atlanta and I started
(17:18):
doing art kind of businesses.
I got approached by aphotographer to do some images
for wedding stuff and thatexperience led to some great
photos.
But the photographer was therewas something not right there
and I thought I'm not going tobe a victim of some weird man
and so I grew up with sixbrothers and I knew how to fight
(17:40):
right.
So I just was like this is areally uncomfortable situation.
I got myself out of it and Ithought you know what?
I'm going to train and learnthis business, otherwise I'm not
going to be in it.
You know, like I don't knowenough about modeling at the
time, like to know what'sauthentic or what's what's real,
you know.
So I started training and Iwent to classes.
(18:01):
I took classes in Atlanta andthen I started training at
Alliance Theater and then Ilearned about the business and
then I started training atAlliance Theater and then I
learned about the business and Istarted doing musicals at my
church and it just went on fromthere.
And when I started havingrebuilds on my leg because you
know, jumping around and doingall the things I do when I grew
up in a wheelchair caused a lotof issues.
So I started having surgeriesand the people in Atlanta were
(18:23):
just so wonderfully gracious andI mean I was doing musicals
even when I couldn't walk up anddown the steps.
We got so creative with it.
I remember being inconstruction boots under a long
gown, playing one of the sexygirls in the Beauty and the
Beast and having to saunter upthe aisle and I'm really good at
sauntering because I hadconstruction boots on, but the
(18:44):
gown hides the stuff and when Iget to the steps to get up the
stage I couldn't go up the steps.
So they had this big guyplaying Gaston and he just came
down the steps, picked me up bythe waist, spun me around and
put me on top of the stage, andso we always had crafty ways to
(19:05):
work around.
Whatever I was doing at thetime and like doing like you
know singing on the piano forone number you know where I'm
straped across the piano so Idon't have to walk.
I had so much fun performing inAtlanta.
I played Cinderella in themusicals and all the kids you
know come up and they're tuggingon your dress and they really
think you're Cinderella and Ijust I loved entertaining people
.
I really enjoyed it.
(19:25):
So that's how it all started.
And then at the time Atlantadidn't have much of a business.
I outgrew that business reallyfast and I worked in casting
while I was there too.
I worked for the castingdirector, don Slayton, at the
time, and I do remember being atAlliance Theater School and
having a wonderful young womanwho was my teacher, who I went
(19:46):
to when I was having a major legrebuild and I knew I was going
to be off my feet for quite awhile.
And I just asked her I'm makinga mistake trying to go into
this business because I'm goingto always have some sort of
walking challenge.
I have a spinal cord injuryfrom this thing, you know.
And and she, uh, I've neverforgotten this because it
prompted it, you know it causedwhat.
(20:08):
What happened next?
She said to me, most of mystudents I would tell them, no,
don't go into this business.
But not you.
She said, you have to do this.
And she encouraged me to keepgoing.
And so I did, even with the.
The next surgery I had a cast upto my hip that had a handle on
it and I kept going to myclasses and I would, you know,
climb up on the stage and get tothe you know the seat and do my
(20:31):
thing.
And I just worked, and worked,and worked and then ended up
moving to New York and doing thebest I could with my walk.
You know, in New York at thetime I could do all the musical
stuff and I could sing any songand I had the best musical
coaches.
But in those years they weren'thaving any of somebody with a
walking challenge on the stage.
(20:52):
And so, you know, I tried for afew years and then I moved to
LA because I could drive insteadof walk everywhere.
And you know, the rest ishistory.
I came to LA and quickly learnedthat I had to change this
entire industry in order to workin it, and that was a sad
revelation.
But I was in my 20s and I waslike nobody's going to tell me
(21:14):
I'm not good enough to be inthis business because I have a
different walk.
And you know, some people wouldsay it and I'm like well, I got
news for you, I'm going to work.
I did have one agent say you'renever going to work in this
industry because you walk funny,and I just smiled and said well
, I looked at his wall ofheadshots and I said I've
already probably worked morethan most of your girls and I've
(21:34):
turned down what they aspire todo.
So I think I'm going to be fine.
And that turned out to bepretty true, you know.
And after I left his office, Iended up landing a much, much
bigger agent.
And you know, I just keptmoving and pivoting throughout
(21:54):
the whole business and I endedup becoming an advocate for
people with disabilities becauseI saw how much worse it was for
anybody that had anything atall wrong with them.
And speaking of veterans, youknow we had a real shift in our
movement towards the inclusionof people with disabilities when
we started saying would youhold it against a veteran if
they came back missing a limb orwalking differently, or would
(22:16):
you keep them out of work?
And you know, when we startedsaying that, people started
realizing oh, you're a humanbeing too, just like anybody
could have a go to war or get ina car accident and end up with
something.
You know we started gettingthrough to their humanity and
you know it's been a battle.
It's still a battle out here inLA and, as I told you earlier,
(22:39):
I've had people much more openin Atlanta, in New York, in New
Orleans, in the Southeast, thanthey have been here.
But I have a very thick skulland I had a good handful of
friends who said to me you knowyou were born for this battle
because I'm a fighter.
I've been a fighter all my lifeand because I've been in and
(22:59):
out of wheelchairs, I can lookat both sides of the
conversation and try to bringpeople to the middle and try to
help them understand each other.
And so that's how it all started.
I've never given up or quitbecause incrementally this
business, you know, you buildcredits.
You know, incrementally,incrementally this business, you
build credits Incrementally.
(23:21):
So sometimes you just have tobreak through, get one thing and
then use that to get the nextthing and keep going.
One of the most wonderfulexperiences and opportunities of
my career was when I auditionedfor the Actors Studio and there
they don't care what's going onwith you, they just want to
know if you're doing the workand if you're good at it.
Care what's going on with you,they just want to know if you're
doing the work and if you'regood at it.
And so it was just sort of atwist of fate that when I was
(23:41):
asked to audition there withanother girl, she picked the
scenes.
It had nothing to do with me,she just asked me to play the
character who was paralyzed fromgetting run over by a taxi in
New York.
And she asked me to play thatcharacter.
And I'm raging, mad andalcoholic and throwing things at
her.
And and I just dug right intothat role and threw myself on
(24:03):
that stage and dragged myselfacross it and had the kind of,
you know, emotional release ofsomebody like I thought to
myself if you paralyzed me again, yeah, we're going to have a
rage going on, and so I tried towork with that.
So that was my first auditionfor the actor's studio and it
got me all the way to finals,and which is kind of unique
(24:23):
because it usually takes a longtime for people to get and they
didn't know anything about me.
They didn't know I had that lifeexperience and anyway, once I
got into the actor's studio,that was family and I've spent
so many years there training andthe beautiful thing about the
members of the actor's studio issome of them are in their 90s
and they're still goingregularly and they're still
(24:45):
training other actors and wehave Oscar winners and Emmy
winners and people with immenseresumes who are there giving
their time.
It's free, you're not paying forit and you get the most
wonderful training becauseyou've got really accomplished
actors guiding you and wantingyou to be the best you can be.
So that became my family and itwas my fallback through all the
(25:08):
years and all the hard work tochange the business.
But I step back now and I lookat it and I'm like I'm at the
other end of the age range now.
I've watched all those years goby where I didn't get in the
doors and I just keep thankingGod I'm still alive and I'm
still moving, and moving betternow than before, still working
(25:28):
as an actor, and I I do have tosmile and look at what we've
accomplished and I'm like my God, we changed an industry.
We did that.
You know was a hard battle, butpeople with disabilities are
now being included and put onthat screen and, you know,
veterans are being included anddoors are opening and we still
have a long way to go, but wedid it, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Beautiful.
That epitomizes what an actorneeds.
You have to have the love ofthe craft and then the tenacity
to never let anyone stop you,and it's.
You had the additional hurdleof dealing with that disability
and then, instead of just I'mnot doing it, I'm going to take
it on and I'm going to make itbetter for the next person.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's a great story Because my little five-year-old
inside of me remembers well whatI went through and how people
treated me and the times where Iwanted to quit, because this
business can be brutal.
You know, making a living in it, as you know, making a living
as a working actor is no smallfeat.
You know like less than 3% ofour union makes an actual living
.
And so every time I wanted todrop out, you know what I
(26:31):
thought about that littlefive-year-old and I thought I
never want another child tofight for their life and win and
then be kept out of play andwork and school and careers for
the rest of their lives becausesomebody doesn't like their
battle scars.
You know, because that's all itis.
It's like we have battle scars.
I got scars, I got scars, okay.
(26:51):
So do veterans who came backfrom war, so do people who've
survived car accidents orcancers or you know all those
things.
And you know I've outlived alot of people, you know, and I'm
still here.
I'm older than my mother everlived to be.
I keep thinking, you know, forthose kids I'm going to keep
going and get there and littleby little, those career credits
(27:13):
add up and that exposure adds upand I tell people please don't
give up your dreams.
If it's your dream, you know.
If it's truly your dream andyou've done the hard work, you
have to do the work so that it'seasy.
So what you were talking abouton the set, brian, was there
were a handful of peoplewatching me do what I do and
(27:35):
saying how do you do that?
Decades of training, decades ofputting myself in that position
and putting myself on the stagein front of a lot of critics
and thousands and upon thousandsand thousands of auditions and
rejections where, to the pointis like, literally, the
rejections water off a duck'sback to me.
I'm like, okay, you know, likefine, I don't really care.
(27:57):
Next, moving on, and you know,you get to a place where you've
got very thick skin and a veryhard head because there's a
reason you're here and you havea passion for it and you have to
have that passion.
If you just want to be famous,just go find something else to
do.
If you want to be rich, I woulddefinitely go find something
(28:19):
else to do, because the realityis a lot of people don't know
that the majority of actors arestarving.
The majority of actors are notmaking their health insurance
and have five roommates in LA totry to survive, or they have
their parents paying their bills, even when they're in their 40s
and 50s and I'm not jokingabout that.
So that's the majority ofpeople, and some of them are
extremely trained and talentedpeople.
(28:41):
But you have to be tenacious andyou have to have a purpose.
You have to have a reason, likeI have a strong reason.
I don't want another kid toever go through that again.
I want these kids to be seen ina different light and seen for
their strengths, because theseare the strongest people on the
planet.
The ones who've been throughmore are stronger than the ones
who've been through less.
(29:01):
That's just the bottom line.
If people have survived, theyare your survivors, they are
stronger, and so it's aperception shift that I'm still
working on, and it's why I writeand I do all the other things I
do and keep opening up tocreative opportunities wherever
I can, so that I can keep makingthis impact happen, and I thank
God every day that I get tostay in the game and play.
(29:24):
I have so much fun when I'mworking.
I just love working, especiallywith creative people and
artists, and that's one of thethings I really liked about
Matthew Carroll is.
He's very creative and he'scourageous and he tries and he
does go after what he wants,whether he has this many
resources or more, and he justkeeps going.
(29:46):
And that's what it takes in ourbusiness, really.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah, great, sorry, I'm a little choked up here.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I saw that I didn't.
It's a touching story and it'sit's so inspirational.
Ok, we're going to stop righthere, because we've had so much
fun talking with Eileen andlearning so much and this is
such a great episode we're goingto make it two parts, so come
back next week and hear thestunning conclusion.
Hi, my name's Eileen Gruba.
I'm an actress, I'm a writerand producer.
I've been in the industry 30years and I'm excited to have
worked with these guys and to beon the NOLA film scene.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Excellent Welcome to NOLA film scene with TJ Plato.
I'm TJ and, as always, I'mPlato.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Welcome back to NOLA film scene.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Good to see you again .
Can't thank you enough forbeing on the show.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you.
So what's going on with thefilm, guys?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
The film, folks, is this Soldier's Heart and it's a
story about PTSD and how asoldier and a cop and they are
dealing with it.
So, eileen and I have a mutualfriend His name is Jim Vess and
when we were looking for actorsand actresses, he and I started
talking and we reached out toyou to play the sheriff's wife
and you graciously accepted.
We got you down here.
It is in post-production.
(00:49):
We filmed last March, march of2024, february, and so it's
close.
We're hoping to have it done byVeterans Day, that's nice it
would.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
How many veterans did you have working on that
project?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
That's a good question.
I don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I know at least one who is on this podcast over
there with the long beard.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
TJ, you're a veteran, but I thought, brian, I thought
you are too.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
No, no, I did not serve.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Got it.
So, tj, did you help write thestory.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I didn't.
I actually didn't meet Mattuntil that project.
Brian helped me get involvedwith it.
Since then, matt and I haveworked together a pretty good
bit, but up until then, no, Ihad very little involvement in
it.
I was just thankful to haveeven a small one liner at the
end of it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And I almost played the sheriff, so I was almost
your husband.
So when Matt and I got together, we met at a coffee shop and we
started talking about thesheriff's role and he goes look,
you're in your 50s, thesheriff's in his 50s.
But you don't come across as inyour 50s.
I'm like what am I going to do?
Argue that he's telling me I'mtoo youthful.
And so Jeremy London had beenmy teacher a few times.
(01:58):
I took his classes on Zoom andthat's how we got Jeremy, and
then, through Jim, that's how wegot you.
So it's all those connections.
And I was not able to be thereon the day while you were
filming, I was getting the rackset at a sand quarry for free, I
was working some magic.
But my phone blew up and peoplewere stunned.
They were emotional with theemotions you were sharing.
(02:19):
It was, I can say, without evenbeing there.
You did a fantastic job.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Thank you, that was a challenging little character to
pull off there.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And we'll keep it under wraps until the movie
comes up.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah, we won't say, we won't say what's happening,
but yeah, but it was fun.
It was great working witheverybody.
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Was this your first time in New Orleans?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Heck.
No, no, I always loved NewOrleans.
As a matter of fact, when I wasin my early years of acting,
when I lived in Atlanta and Iwas training there and working
out at Alliance Theater anddoing community theater, I had
read some books and soon theywere going into production in
New Orleans Little littleunheard of books called
Interview with the Vampire, andI had connected with the casting
(03:01):
director.
I believe his last name wasLeBlanc Now I'm trying to
remember but anyway, I drove outto New Orleans with my friend
from Atlanta and just so I couldaudition for the film.
So close, so close, so close.
But the only characters thatwere available were, you know,
in my type range, were the girlswho get.
You know, the ones that they,they sucked all the blood out of
(03:25):
them.
And yeah, those ones.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
They would have made a meal out of you.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, the casting director came back later and
said they just wanted moresickly looking girls, you know,
more real, frail looking.
And that wasn't me.
I'm not frail, I didn't get it.
But it was a great adventureand to this day I can't go
through New Orleans withoutimagining the vampires and
everything, because I read thebooks and Anne Rice and I were
(03:50):
actually Facebook friends untilshe passed away.
But I also went back and forthto New Orleans through the years
to work and I did a movie therecalled Wild Oats and you know I
started my career in the southsoutheast in atlanta, then did
some work in new orleans andaround, but to this day the best
(04:11):
jobs I get are in the southeastway better than the
opportunities that I have in lathings have really started
changing a lot in the industry,especially in the south.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I haven't worked in so I can't speak to that.
Before the strike, just my ownpersonal experience.
Auditions were coming left andright and then it seems after
the strike at least for me cameto almost a screeching halt, and
the more time that's going onI'm seeing it slow down even
more and we keep hearing thateverything is moving away,
(04:45):
moving more to Atlanta.
Two productions that I canthink of off the top of my head,
that the first season wasfilmed here, got filmed
elsewhere.
One was filmed in Canada.
And then one production thatpeople were really excited was
coming to New Orleans.
We thought it would open somedoors.
Turns out they're just going toshoot some establishing shots,
like they do on a lot of stuff,and principal photography is
(05:08):
going to.
Everything's going to be inAtlanta and that's just really
disappointing how much it'sslowing down.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Atlanta really has taken over a lot of the market
and I started my career there,so I actually I would move back
there in a second if I was on ashow.
But to you know the way lifehas changed and things have
changed, it's like you know howexpensive everything's gotten
and once you give up yourapartment here, that's it.
You know, like if you come backit's going to cost three times
(05:37):
as much.
So you know, making the movewithout having a job to go to is
a little, you know so.
(05:58):
But I do keep trying to getback to the Southeast because,
quite frankly, I think I fit inthere better.
You know, even when I was young, I was far more accepted in the
entertainment industrycommunity, but that didn't seem
to bother anybody in Atlanta andit hasn't seemed to be a
problem in New Orleans.
Even when I worked on Wild Oatswith Jessica Lange and Shirley
McClain, I was like I hope theyknow, because they just asked me
(06:21):
to like come through a bank andrun out into their shot.
So I was like I'm happy to dothat, I just hope they know it's
not going to look like yourtypical runner.
And so I went up and whisperedit to the director.
I'm like I'm happy to dowhatever you're asking me to do.
I just want to make sure youknow that I have a race, so it's
going to look a littledifferent.
And he smiled and he said I'mfine with that.
(06:44):
And that was a beautiful thing,because people haven't
typically been known to be finewith it.
So when they have been fine withit, I am grateful.
And, for example, the moviethat we did, it just didn't
matter at all.
And in life it shouldn't matterat all.
I'm more active than everyfemale my age, but I do have
that, knowing that throughoutthe years in Atlanta they were
(07:07):
always cool about it, even when,even when I was going through
surgeries and on crutches andall that, they were always
really super cool about it andopen.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
So I miss the southeast, you know, I feel like
I fit in a little easier there,you know always keeping in mind
, tj and I did a it's called theseven and seven film seven days
to make a seven minute film forthe Abita Springs International
Film Festival.
But we made a Western.
But we want to take that andexpand it out.
We want to take that out andexpand it to a full feature.
(07:36):
And so if, when we do that, I'mnot going to say, if, when I'm
going to give you a call,whether it's a school mom, I'm
not going to say you're going tobe the can can dancer or you
know I'm going to find your rolebecause we want you back.
I, or you know I'm going tofind your role because we want
you back, I can do that.
Oh, you want the can-can toanswer?
We'll do it.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
But I can also play a school teacher, so that would
be an interesting character ifshe did both.
Yeah, yeah, I have to say I hadsuch a great time, you know,
when Jim reached out about ASoldier's Heart and I had no
idea what I was getting myselfinto at all zero.
And I knew it was low budgetand all that, but I had no idea
(08:10):
of what the budget was or any ofthat stuff.
And you know, my gut was justsaying, well, you know, be open,
just see what happens.
You know, I know a lot ofpeople.
Just you know their agents orsomething you'll turn something
down just without even checkingwith the artist.
And so I was like, just be open.
And then I had my little talk,you know phone conversations and
meets with them, and I was likethese are really nice people.
(08:32):
I'm like I'm going to go for it.
And so, you know, it was anunusual circumstance all of it,
even where they put me up andwith a family that was there and
everything.
And part of me was like hmm.
And then another part of me islike, well, that seems safer
than being alone somewhere inthis town that I don't know very
well, in the part of NewOrleans you were going to be in.
(08:54):
I don't know very well, so Isaid that feels safer for me as
a single girl who doesn't runwell as we've established
beautiful experience, Even justthe way Matt did everything, his
mom cooking for all of us likehome cooked meals, and her home
was just so open and welcomingto everybody and it just felt
(09:17):
like a family production I'mgetting emotional saying it.
It just felt like such a familyand everybody was so easy to
work with and play with.
And the actors the day that wewere at the I'm not going to
reveal anything, just we were atthat location where it was like
a community location.
Just the actors were so easy toplay with and connect with and
I just had a wonderful time I Icame away from that going wow.
(09:40):
I'm really glad I said yes tothat project, just simply for
the wonderful people I met andthe joy of getting to dive into
a quite challenging character toplay.
There's a lot of traps in thatand also there's a lot of
emotional resonance for me, forthat character, and so you know
it's a quite challenging one topull off.
Well, you know, and they justmade it easy, they all made it
(10:04):
easy and Matthew made it easyand it was just a great
experience all around.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And I think that's going to translate on screen too
.
I've seen a little bit of thefootage and I think that
closeness and that familyenvironment I think it's going
to translate, because I think alot of people walked away with a
similar experience.
I really enjoyed that shoot.
I really enjoyed that shoot andat the time that was one of my
first features that I had.
(10:30):
Yeah, that was probably thesecond feature that I had been
in.
At that point I had been on seton smaller things, but that was
, yeah, that was the first oneand I walked away with a lot of
friends and it was I'm not goingto say life-changing me but
career wise, it really was agreat experience.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And it was unique in that Matt obviously has had a
lot of experience in theindustry and typically what I've
seen through the years is thatwhen something's really really
low budget, that's when thepeople running it will be either
very fear based or verycondescending, which is weird,
because that's when you'regiving them basically your time,
(11:11):
because they really can'tafford to have you there and
you're giving them your time.
I've turned down stuff justbecause of the fact that those
are the environments you'reusually poorly treated in and
I'm not going to be poorlytreated.
After all the work I've donethrough the years and how hard
I've tried and how hard I'vetrained and the work I've done,
I'm like I'm great inenvironments where people just
(11:32):
respect each other's work.
And so, like I said, I didn'tknow what I was getting into,
but my gut was saying, yes,these are good people.
And boy, my gut instinct wasright on that and I had no idea
what kind of budget they wereworking with until after the
fact.
And I came home and had I knownhow low it was and known who
(11:52):
these people were going to be,and I would have completely done
it for free it was.
I mean, I'm not supposed to saythat I'm on the union board.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I was going to say don't say that People will hear
this.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
One of those experiences that was just so,
just so wonderful.
Everybody was was amazing, and Ithink back on it very fondly
and I I have a lot of reasons inmy life to believe that things
are bigger than us, much biggerthan us.
And um, looking around hismother's home where we were
hosted for this, I saw a lot ofangels and a lot of things that
reminded me of my parents, wholeft this world many years ago,
(12:25):
and I was like, okay, exactlywhere I'm supposed to be and
meeting the kind of people I'msupposed to be meeting, and I'll
take that away with me, nomatter what happens with the
film.
It was a wonderful experienceand I think the actors there are
really gracious and kind and Ihope that we all do get to do a
lot more things together.
I told Matt I have a film I'vebeen working on for New Orleans
(12:47):
that I started writing years agobecause it was inspired by
something that I experiencedthat I had, and then it's a
fantastic, fantastic meaninglike Harry Potter, fantastic
kind of movie set in New Orleansand in the swamp surroundings.
So I've got to finish that oneand get it out there, but it
would be a big budget, so I'llfigure that one out.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
It is, I'm in.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You're in.
Yeah, and one of my friendsmoved there, by the way, one of
my friends from the actor'sstudio.
You know we train ridiculousamounts of time here and I spent
many years of my life at theactor's studio, so that's like
family.
And one of my friends, Flo,left LA and moved to New Orleans
Orleans and I did end up goingback and helping her with a
(13:29):
thesis film she was doing forfilm school.
So I did get back to NewOrleans for that.
But when she was there I wentand stayed with her for a little
while and ran around the cityand I just, I just love that.
I love the culture there and Ihope it never changes.
I hope that all the uniquenessof New Orleans stays, stays that
way, because you know how bigcities get modernized and pretty
soon you have a Dunkin Donutswhere there used to be a gothic
(13:51):
building or something, and youknow you just miss all the
uniqueness of places like NewOrleans and I hope it always
keeps that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, my Uber driver today was from Columbia and it's
the same thing.
Like you're saying and we hearit a lot, people come to New
Orleans, whether it's Mardi Grasor just you know, experience
the city and the city gets intheir soul.
Same thing with acting.
I stumbled across it and it wasso much fun and I feel like I
took like a duck to water in alot of ways and it's like a
calling.
You find where you need to beor where you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
And that leads us into my favorite question is
what inspired you to get intothis business?
Oh gosh, that is amulti-layered question.
I got a very complicated answerto that, but I'll try to keep
it tight.
So when I was a little girl Iwas very active, a very athletic
, active kid, and then we gotvaccines for school that nearly
killed me and I ended up in awheelchair.
So now I'm from this hugefamily, I got a lot of siblings
and I can't go do everythingthey're doing anymore.
(14:51):
You know I'm stuck in awheelchair and they're out
playing in the snow and runningand I'm like.
So my mom brought me a lot ofart supplies and so I started
creating worlds.
You know like we werefinancially wiped out by what
happened.
And my father, you know he didfixed cars and you know, and had
a lot of kids and trying to payfor my medical stuff and it
(15:12):
makes me sad thinking about whatthey must have gone through.
But my mom, because we didn'thave a lot of money, she would
go to the newspaper place wherethey printed the newspapers back
then and she would get therolls of paper they threw out
and she would bring them homebecause they still had a ton of
paper on them and then she wouldalso get all the crayons at the
end of the school year that thekids they were throwing out
(15:35):
because they were all the brokencrayons.
I had a massive box of brokencrayons and newspaper print that
I would roll across the floorbecause I could crawl all across
the floor and get around in myarms and I would draw worlds,
pictures, houses, everything Idreamed of I would draw, and I
started getting very crafty anddoing arts and crafts and
(15:55):
creating.
And among that creating Istarted making paper mache
puppets and making little puppetshows and honestly, that's how
performing started in my life.
And then as I got older and youknow, one big factor also was
that when I was in my wheelchair, we would go to my brother's
(16:16):
football games and I didn't wantto stay in the stands with
everybody.
I wanted my mom to take me withmy little wheelchair and put me
in front of the cheerleaders,because I didn't care about the
football players, I wanted towatch the cheerleaders because I
wanted to be a cheerleader.
So I used to sit there likejust right in front of them,
watching the cheerleaders thewhole time and I used to just
keep saying I want to be acheerleader.
I want to be a cheerleader, andthat's sort of a performance
(16:37):
art, right.
Well, so as soon as I couldwalk again, I was trying out for
the cheerleading teams, and,you know, even at a young age.
And so I did become acheerleader and because, you
know, my arms were strong and myvoice was really strong for
calling for my mom when my peerswere tormenting me, I became
the captain of the cheerleadingteam and just going on to do
(16:58):
that kind of performance andthen we did some stage stuff in
high school but it really got me.
When I was going to be an artistI was going to be a fashion
designer, all those things and Imoved to Atlanta and I started
(17:18):
doing art kind of businesses.
I got approached by aphotographer to do some images
for wedding stuff and thatexperience led to some great
photos.
But the photographer was therewas something not right there
and I thought I'm not going tobe a victim of some weird man
and so I grew up with sixbrothers and I knew how to fight
(17:40):
right.
So I just was like this is areally uncomfortable situation.
I got myself out of it and Ithought you know what?
I'm going to train and learnthis business, otherwise I'm not
going to be in it.
You know, like I don't knowenough about modeling at the
time, like to know what'sauthentic or what's what's real,
you know.
So I started training and Iwent to classes.
(18:01):
I took classes in Atlanta andthen I started training at
Alliance Theater and then Ilearned about the business and
then I started training atAlliance Theater and then I
learned about the business and Istarted doing musicals at my
church and it just went on fromthere.
And when I started havingrebuilds on my leg because you
know, jumping around and doingall the things I do when I grew
up in a wheelchair caused a lotof issues.
So I started having surgeriesand the people in Atlanta were
(18:23):
just so wonderfully gracious andI mean I was doing musicals
even when I couldn't walk up anddown the steps.
We got so creative with it.
I remember being inconstruction boots under a long
gown, playing one of the sexygirls in the Beauty and the
Beast and having to saunter upthe aisle and I'm really good at
sauntering because I hadconstruction boots on, but the
(18:44):
gown hides the stuff and when Iget to the steps to get up the
stage I couldn't go up the steps.
So they had this big guyplaying Gaston and he just came
down the steps, picked me up bythe waist, spun me around and
put me on top of the stage, andso we always had crafty ways to
(19:05):
work around.
Whatever I was doing at thetime and like doing like you
know singing on the piano forone number you know where I'm
straped across the piano so Idon't have to walk.
I had so much fun performing inAtlanta.
I played Cinderella in themusicals and all the kids you
know come up and they're tuggingon your dress and they really
think you're Cinderella and Ijust I loved entertaining people
.
I really enjoyed it.
(19:25):
So that's how it all started.
And then at the time Atlantadidn't have much of a business.
I outgrew that business reallyfast and I worked in casting
while I was there too.
I worked for the castingdirector, don Slayton, at the
time, and I do remember being atAlliance Theater School and
having a wonderful young womanwho was my teacher, who I went
(19:46):
to when I was having a major legrebuild and I knew I was going
to be off my feet for quite awhile.
And I just asked her I'm makinga mistake trying to go into
this business because I'm goingto always have some sort of
walking challenge.
I have a spinal cord injuryfrom this thing, you know.
And and she, uh, I've neverforgotten this because it
prompted it, you know it causedwhat.
(20:08):
What happened next?
She said to me, most of mystudents I would tell them, no,
don't go into this business.
But not you.
She said, you have to do this.
And she encouraged me to keepgoing.
And so I did, even with the.
The next surgery I had a cast upto my hip that had a handle on
it and I kept going to myclasses and I would, you know,
climb up on the stage and get tothe you know the seat and do my
(20:31):
thing.
And I just worked, and worked,and worked and then ended up
moving to New York and doing thebest I could with my walk.
You know, in New York at thetime I could do all the musical
stuff and I could sing any songand I had the best musical
coaches.
But in those years they weren'thaving any of somebody with a
walking challenge on the stage.
(20:52):
And so, you know, I tried for afew years and then I moved to
LA because I could drive insteadof walk everywhere.
And you know, the rest ishistory.
I came to LA and quickly learnedthat I had to change this
entire industry in order to workin it, and that was a sad
revelation.
But I was in my 20s and I waslike nobody's going to tell me
(21:14):
I'm not good enough to be inthis business because I have a
different walk.
And you know, some people wouldsay it and I'm like well, I got
news for you, I'm going to work.
I did have one agent say you'renever going to work in this
industry because you walk funny,and I just smiled and said well
, I looked at his wall ofheadshots and I said I've
already probably worked morethan most of your girls and I've
(21:34):
turned down what they aspire todo.
So I think I'm going to be fine.
And that turned out to bepretty true, you know.
And after I left his office, Iended up landing a much, much
bigger agent.
And you know, I just keptmoving and pivoting throughout
(21:54):
the whole business and I endedup becoming an advocate for
people with disabilities becauseI saw how much worse it was for
anybody that had anything atall wrong with them.
And speaking of veterans, youknow we had a real shift in our
movement towards the inclusionof people with disabilities when
we started saying would youhold it against a veteran if
they came back missing a limb orwalking differently, or would
(22:16):
you keep them out of work?
And you know, when we startedsaying that, people started
realizing oh, you're a humanbeing too, just like anybody
could have a go to war or get ina car accident and end up with
something.
You know we started gettingthrough to their humanity and
you know it's been a battle.
It's still a battle out here inLA and, as I told you earlier,
(22:39):
I've had people much more openin Atlanta, in New York, in New
Orleans, in the Southeast, thanthey have been here.
But I have a very thick skulland I had a good handful of
friends who said to me you knowyou were born for this battle
because I'm a fighter.
I've been a fighter all my lifeand because I've been in and
(22:59):
out of wheelchairs, I can lookat both sides of the
conversation and try to bringpeople to the middle and try to
help them understand each other.
And so that's how it all started.
I've never given up or quitbecause incrementally this
business, you know, you buildcredits.
You know, incrementally,incrementally this business, you
build credits Incrementally.
(23:21):
So sometimes you just have tobreak through, get one thing and
then use that to get the nextthing and keep going.
One of the most wonderfulexperiences and opportunities of
my career was when I auditionedfor the Actors Studio and there
they don't care what's going onwith you, they just want to
know if you're doing the workand if you're good at it.
Care what's going on with you,they just want to know if you're
doing the work and if you'regood at it.
And so it was just sort of atwist of fate that when I was
(23:41):
asked to audition there withanother girl, she picked the
scenes.
It had nothing to do with me,she just asked me to play the
character who was paralyzed fromgetting run over by a taxi in
New York.
And she asked me to play thatcharacter.
And I'm raging, mad andalcoholic and throwing things at
her.
And and I just dug right intothat role and threw myself on
(24:03):
that stage and dragged myselfacross it and had the kind of,
you know, emotional release ofsomebody like I thought to
myself if you paralyzed me again, yeah, we're going to have a
rage going on, and so I tried towork with that.
So that was my first auditionfor the actor's studio and it
got me all the way to finals,and which is kind of unique
(24:23):
because it usually takes a longtime for people to get and they
didn't know anything about me.
They didn't know I had that lifeexperience and anyway, once I
got into the actor's studio,that was family and I've spent
so many years there training andthe beautiful thing about the
members of the actor's studio issome of them are in their 90s
and they're still goingregularly and they're still
(24:45):
training other actors and wehave Oscar winners and Emmy
winners and people with immenseresumes who are there giving
their time.
It's free, you're not paying forit and you get the most
wonderful training becauseyou've got really accomplished
actors guiding you and wantingyou to be the best you can be.
So that became my family and itwas my fallback through all the
(25:08):
years and all the hard work tochange the business.
But I step back now and I lookat it and I'm like I'm at the
other end of the age range now.
I've watched all those years goby where I didn't get in the
doors and I just keep thankingGod I'm still alive and I'm
still moving, and moving betternow than before, still working
(25:28):
as an actor, and I I do have tosmile and look at what we've
accomplished and I'm like my God, we changed an industry.
We did that.
You know was a hard battle, butpeople with disabilities are
now being included and put onthat screen and, you know,
veterans are being included anddoors are opening and we still
have a long way to go, but wedid it, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Beautiful.
That epitomizes what an actorneeds.
You have to have the love ofthe craft and then the tenacity
to never let anyone stop you,and it's.
You had the additional hurdleof dealing with that disability
and then, instead of just I'mnot doing it, I'm going to take
it on and I'm going to make itbetter for the next person.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's a great story Because my little five-year-old
inside of me remembers well whatI went through and how people
treated me and the times where Iwanted to quit, because this
business can be brutal.
You know, making a living in it, as you know, making a living
as a working actor is no smallfeat.
You know like less than 3% ofour union makes an actual living
.
And so every time I wanted todrop out, you know what I
(26:31):
thought about that littlefive-year-old and I thought I
never want another child tofight for their life and win and
then be kept out of play andwork and school and careers for
the rest of their lives becausesomebody doesn't like their
battle scars.
You know, because that's all itis.
It's like we have battle scars.
I got scars, I got scars, okay.
(26:51):
So do veterans who came backfrom war, so do people who've
survived car accidents orcancers or you know all those
things.
And you know I've outlived alot of people, you know, and I'm
still here.
I'm older than my mother everlived to be.
I keep thinking, you know, forthose kids I'm going to keep
going and get there and littleby little, those career credits
(27:13):
add up and that exposure adds upand I tell people please don't
give up your dreams.
If it's your dream, you know.
If it's truly your dream andyou've done the hard work, you
have to do the work so that it'seasy.
So what you were talking abouton the set, brian, was there
were a handful of peoplewatching me do what I do and
(27:35):
saying how do you do that?
Decades of training, decades ofputting myself in that position
and putting myself on the stagein front of a lot of critics
and thousands and upon thousandsand thousands of auditions and
rejections where, to the pointis like, literally, the
rejections water off a duck'sback to me.
I'm like, okay, you know, likefine, I don't really care.
(27:57):
Next, moving on, and you know,you get to a place where you've
got very thick skin and a veryhard head because there's a
reason you're here and you havea passion for it and you have to
have that passion.
If you just want to be famous,just go find something else to
do.
If you want to be rich, I woulddefinitely go find something
(28:19):
else to do, because the realityis a lot of people don't know
that the majority of actors arestarving.
The majority of actors are notmaking their health insurance
and have five roommates in LA totry to survive, or they have
their parents paying their bills, even when they're in their 40s
and 50s and I'm not jokingabout that.
So that's the majority ofpeople, and some of them are
extremely trained and talentedpeople.
(28:41):
But you have to be tenacious andyou have to have a purpose.
You have to have a reason, likeI have a strong reason.
I don't want another kid toever go through that again.
I want these kids to be seen ina different light and seen for
their strengths, because theseare the strongest people on the
planet.
The ones who've been throughmore are stronger than the ones
who've been through less.
(29:01):
That's just the bottom line.
If people have survived, theyare your survivors, they are
stronger, and so it's aperception shift that I'm still
working on, and it's why I writeand I do all the other things I
do and keep opening up tocreative opportunities wherever
I can, so that I can keep makingthis impact happen, and I thank
God every day that I get tostay in the game and play.
(29:24):
I have so much fun when I'mworking.
I just love working, especiallywith creative people and
artists, and that's one of thethings I really liked about
Matthew Carroll is.
He's very creative and he'scourageous and he tries and he
does go after what he wants,whether he has this many
resources or more, and he justkeeps going.
(29:46):
And that's what it takes in ourbusiness, really.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah, great, sorry, I'm a little choked up here.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I saw that I didn't.
It's a touching story and it'sit's so inspirational.
Ok, we're going to stop righthere, because we've had so much
fun talking with Eileen andlearning so much and this is
such a great episode we're goingto make it two parts, so come
back next week and hear thestunning conclusion.
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