October 1, 2025 • 30 mins
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What if your greatest challenges became your greatest strengths? Actress, writer, and producer Eileen Gruba transforms this question from philosophical musing to lived reality in this powerful conversation about disability, resilience, and the fight for inclusion in Hollywood.
Sponsored by Jana McCaffery Attorney at Law. Have you been injured? New Orleans based actor, Jana McCaffery, has been practicing law in Louisiana since 1999 focusing on personal injury since 2008. She takes helping others very seriously and, if you are a fellow member of the Louisiana film industry and have been injured, she is happy to offer you a free consultation and a reduced fee to handle your case from start to finish. She can be reached at Have you been injured? New Orleans based actor, Jana McCaffery, has been practicing law in Louisiana since 1999, specializing in personal injury since 2008. She takes helping others very seriously. If you have been injured, Jana is offering a free consultation AND a reduced fee for fellow members of the Lousiana film industry, and she will handle your case from start to finish. She can be reached at janamccaffery@gmail.com or 504-837-1234. Tell Her NOLA Film Scene sent you
Follow us on IG @nolafilmscene, @kodaksbykojack, and @tjsebastianofficial. Check out our 48 Hour Film Project short film Waiting for Gateaux: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5pFvn4cd1U . & check out our website: nolafilmscene.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name's Eileen Gruba.
I'm an actress, I'm a writerand producer.
I've been in the industry 30years and I'm excited to have
worked with these guys and to beon the NOLA film scene.
Welcome to NOLA film scene withTJ Plato.
I'm TJ and, as always, I'mPlato.
We're back with part two withEileen Gruba.
I was wondering if TJ wasinterested in sharing what he's
(00:23):
experiencing right now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Yeah, while I don't I can't relate to the childhood
things that impacted you therest I can.
I mean, it's really excuse meone second, it's not a secret in
the industry I've got I'mdisabled.
I had a total hip replacementand had some significant
(00:45):
complications and then I've alsoexperienced a couple spinal
cord injuries.
And while I hide my limp asmuch as I can, I am limited in
certain ways and I've had toturn stuff down.
I've had to turn down auditionsbecause I couldn't handle the
(01:07):
physical side of it.
I knew that it wasn't right forme.
And to just to see youadvocating for people with
disabilities, no matter what thesource is, is just amazing, and
I haven't had a conversationwith someone that does that and
I haven't had a conversationwith someone in the industry
(01:30):
that is disabled and experienceschallenges.
Sometimes it feels like I'm theonly one you know, and there
are times that I wonder is itgoing to impact the future of my
career?
And I questioned well, did?
Am I auditioning, slowing downbecause of my disability, or is
it just the industry?
And the self-doubt creeps in.
(01:50):
I don't ever worry about notbooking something.
I had an acting teacher veryearly on say that he didn't get.
He's never been rejected forsomething.
He just wasn't accepted orwasn't booked or whatever.
And I try to use that littlethought to not get myself down
when I don't book something.
But yeah, the self-doubt creepsin and it's just incredible to
(02:13):
see you advocating the way thatyou are.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you.
You know, what Maybe this canhelp is when I was in New York
and I really started the intensetraining, I realized all the
life experience, all that trauma.
You know because you knowyou've said you have also spinal
cord injury, hip replacementwhich means you know what I'm
talking about when I say thesethings are hard, recovery is
(02:39):
hard, surgeries are hard,they're painful, they put you
back for quite a while.
They don't just mess with thepart of your body that got cut,
but your whole body suffers.
And to have that layered on topof fighting for a career or
you're really good at what youdo and someone wants to reject
(02:59):
you or keep you out of a jobthat you need, because they
don't have any respect for whatyou've been through, to even be
standing in their room right now, right.
I find that so egregiouslyunacceptable because I thought
in my head many times and I'mnot saying you to, I'm saying
you to the persons who reject meif you had to live my life,
(03:21):
you'd be dead.
And I've come across manypeople that I've thought that,
looking in their eyes whilethey're pointing out what's
wrong with me, and I'm thinkingyou would have never survived my
life, my friend.
So I do smile when I'm goingthrough that, because the
thoughts in my head are like,wow, they have no idea the force
standing in front of them.
They have zero clue.
(03:41):
And I'm going to own that,because all that trauma and all
the power and strength andendurance and courage it took to
survive these things, to gothrough those surgeries, to walk
again and again and again, aretrophies on my shelf.
So when somebody has to have meplay a character like the one I
(04:02):
played for your film, it's nothard for me to touch those
emotions.
All I got to do is let my guarddown, game on.
You know, connect with somebodyand share with them what I've
been through Through the eyesand through the words in the
script, and then I can connectto someone because I understand
and I have empathy Empathy inspades, beyond most people and
(04:23):
so that my friend is going to beyour greatest strength as an
actor right there and ratherthan take on their rejection.
You know, I think about what mymother said when I was a kid.
She said what you have there isa great judge of character,
other people's character.
They're not showing you what'swrong with you, they're showing
you what's wrong with them andmany years later she's been dead
(04:46):
for so many years and I alwaysring that rings in my head.
When someone's being a jerk orthey're just rejecting me
because they don't like the wayI move, whatever, I smile and in
my head I'm thinking thank youfor showing me who you are.
Next, because the greatest giftcomes from when people do know
what you've been through.
You have two sets of people inthe world ones who are drawn to
(05:09):
you because of it, becausethey're stronger, and they want
to know how you're doing this.
And they want to know youbecause grit and life experience
and all those things areattractive to strong people.
Or there's the other kind ofpeople who are afraid of you
because they've been throughnothing and they're scared of
everything and you know what.
Later in life I finallyrealized I wish I could go back
(05:29):
to 15 and know this.
But what I realized is I don'treally care if the weakest
people want to reject.
I want the strongest peoplearound me.
You know like I want my battlewarriors all around me, and so
(05:49):
you know I'm laughing when I saythis, but I mean it.
I have the strongest friends inthe world and the people who
respect my work in this businessare the best of the best.
So when I get through thebarriers and to them they write
bigger roles for me, it's howI've had some of my best work.
And you know, tj, you're a verysoulful person.
(06:10):
You can see it in your eyes.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Nothing you've been through makes you less, it makes
you more, and that is what Itry to tell all the kids that I
advocate for out here.
And even some of them areafraid of me and want to keep me
out, even though I've fought toopen doors for all of them.
You know our industry is moreopen than ever, especially when
it comes to veterans.
Trust me on that one, and ifthey know that you're a veteran,
you know what they want to know.
(06:34):
Here's the bottom line.
I'm just going to be very frankabout this.
This business is quite simplewhen you think about it.
They want to know.
Bottom line are you going tocost them money?
So I'm always quick to let themknow hey, I got my stuff, I got
this handled, so just hire me,bring me in and I will do.
I will work my magic and I willmake it as easy as possible for
(06:54):
people to hire me and on setsand everything, I do not make
trouble.
I make it easy for them and Ilet them know I'm fine, I can do
whatever you need me to do, toa point Like I'm not going to be
great about running down thebeach with no shoes on.
I can't do it.
But I would turn down that ruleor tell them another way to
shoot it.
Instead of thinking of of adisability as some reason
(07:16):
they're going to reject you, Ithink of all the reasons.
It's an asset to theirproduction and get that point
across.
And what I tell the communityof people with disabilities that
I advocate for and thatcommunity is growing and growing
and growing because more peopleare feeling safe, disclosing
that they have a challenge.
And what I tell them is justmake sure you're ready, just
make sure you're good, bringthem your full heart into your
(07:38):
work, be open and if somebody'srejecting you, you got to like I
don't even care.
Thanks for showing me who youare.
Let me move on to the next oneand you'll find them.
And once you get past thegatekeepers, you really get to
the creative people.
And creative people Like I'vehad creative people be like it
is so fun to write for youbecause they know I'll do
(08:00):
anything, I'll try anything, andthat was part of what the deal
was at the actor's studio.
I mean, within my integrity,I'm not saying I'll do anything.
I've turned down more thingsthat were exploitative of women
than you can even imagine.
I mean I used to in my 20s, belike in tears, being like why is
it that every role they want togive me is so gross against
women and I just wouldn't dothose things.
(08:22):
I've kept my integrity throughit all.
You know, I turned down Playboymultiple times because of the
fact that I'm like that's notwhat I want to do.
I don't want my image to hurtwomen all over the world.
That's not what I want.
So I'm not doing it.
And and people thought I wasstupid when I was young and
wouldn't do that stuff.
And I was like you know, Iremember a casting director
saying do you know how manywomen would kill for this
(08:44):
opportunity?
And my immediate response wasdid you know that my mother
would come out of her grave andkill me?
I'm not doing it and I'm glad Istuck by that because I watched
the trajectory of careers ofthe girls who get drawn into
that young and my career isstill going.
A lot of people say your careerwill end at 40.
Mine hasn't.
You know, if you keep doing thehard work and keep being good
(09:06):
at what you do and keep puttingyourself in that situation
rejection it's like socks.
I remember when kids always madefun of me when I was young,
knocking me over in PE and allthose things, and you know it's
really funny.
Success really evens the play.
I can't tell you how manypeople have reached out and
apologized to me from things inour youth, things that I didn't
(09:27):
even remember, and I'm like, wow, this is funny and but they
know it, they hold on to, theyknew they treated you bad or
wrong and I can't wait till wehave a time when any kid, no
matter what they've been through, can dream up what their future
looks like and go get it andthat our society won't be
shutting the door just becausethey've been through more.
Another thing about people withdisabilities that I find really
(09:50):
interesting and, as I said,I've had in and out of
wheelchairs all my life rebuilds, all the work.
I've had multiple years of mycareer on crutches and back in
wheelchairs because ofrebuilding things.
So I've seen all sides of itand the spirit that comes with
those battles is big.
And when I go into a children'scancer hospital, for example,
(10:12):
where I used to volunteer inAtlanta at Scottish Rite and
work with kids with disabilities, no matter how sick they are,
you know what you see.
You see spirit.
You see like this huge spiritcoming out of them and it's the
reason they survive and it's thereason they keep going.
You know, later in life youhave people with disabilities
who are very spirited and peopleare like want to crush them or
(10:33):
get them to shut up and hide ina corner and I'm like sorry, no,
no, you don't understand, youcan't crush me.
There's only one person who cancrush me and that's me, and I'm
not going to crush me.
So you know, the reason that Ihave this big spirit is because
I've survived a lot and that'swhat I try to tell people about
these kids.
They're going to come into theworld with bang, you know, like
so much energy, and I thinkabout some of the kids I've
(10:56):
mentored through the years andthey still come in a room and
light up the whole place withtheir eyes, their smile, doesn't
matter what's going on with therest of them, you know, because
their spirit is strong and Iwant to get the world to honor
that.
You know like I look at you, tj, and I'm like I want the world
to honor your battles.
Respect, respect is what shouldbe seen, not pity, not looking
down, not thinking it's lessbecause in the end.
(11:18):
Okay, you're a veteran, so Idon't know if that means you
went to combat.
I don't know what you've beenthrough, but I would think that
if I was going to war, I wouldwant to have some good
conversations and education frompeople who've been to war
before.
Right, and everyone at somepoint in life is going to go to
war for their life and at thatpoint you're going to want to
(11:39):
know the ones who know how tolive.
You're going to want to knowthe survivors and the ones
who've been through it, the oneswho've had the hip surgeries,
the ones who've survived so manysurgeries.
Some of my friends have hadliterally hundreds of surgeries
and they're fighting out here,trying to be actors, and they're
always laughing and they'realways.
You could take the worstsituation and they will turn it
(12:00):
into some humor that you neverthought was right to come out of
anyone's mouth, but they canget away with it.
Their strength and their spiritand their humors are just
unstoppable, and that's what Ihope.
Anyone who's been through hellwill realize the gift in what
they've been through and thegift in what you've been through
and the strength that you canbring to the screen, because our
(12:20):
career really is all abouthumanity, and the people who
miss that are making work thatnobody cares about.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's a great point.
You said something that reallyresonated.
I've had different actingteachers demonstrate different
approaches to tapping intoemotion and leaning on life
experience.
To tapping into emotion andleaning on life experience, I've
never heard anyone put it theway you just did just let the
guard down, and that's certainlysomething.
(12:52):
I've put my guard up and I'vehad the walls up because of the
background, the veteranbackground, and I do also want
to be clear that I don't for aminute feel like I've lost
something or not bookedsomething because of that.
I don't think there's a singlecast and director that I've
auditioned for that was like ohno, he's, there's something.
I don't feel that that's beenthe case.
A lot of it has beenself-limiting, but there's been
(13:13):
roles that I've had to say Ican't audition for this because
of that.
But I was also trying to find away to word it.
I've had people discourage mefrom disclosing my disability
and say that it'll hurt you inthe long run.
Talking with you today, it'sgiven me the courage to not hide
that because it's been hidden.
(13:34):
People that are close to meknow the stuff that I've been
through and I don't know.
I just I guess I don't want to.
I don't feel like I need tohide it anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
You know I had to hide it for a lot of years.
A lot of years I wore longskirts most of the time to hide
it and the reason that I had towas because if they saw it I
wasn't getting a job and so Iwas like, fine, I'll hide it and
they won't know about it untilI get the wardrobe you know.
So there are some offices andsome people that I know are not
receptive, so I have to hide it.
(14:04):
I literally have in the pastlost so many jobs because of it
and found out later.
This was exactly the reason,like I've had.
Casting directors have showsend and then contact my manager
and say, eileen, hands down,booked that job but then someone
saw her limping, walking to hercar.
That has happened so many timeswhere I've lost jobs over it,
over my medical stuff, which isappalling to me.
(14:26):
So I understand the peoplesaying in this business hide it
because of who your audience is,who you're dealing with.
Sometimes I mean it's hard forme to hide it now because the
whole world, you know, I'veinterviewed so many times and
spoken all over stages andfought for the inclusion of
people with disabilities in thisindustry for three decades.
So now, they all know, andunfortunately then that often
(14:47):
puts me in a category wherethey'll only bring me in for,
like disabled roles on certainoffices.
And I'm like you know, I'mpretty agile, I'm moving around,
you know.
So I understand why they saythat in, but it's like at some
point you're like this is who Iam, you know, love it or leave
it.
And you know, when it comes tothe work, I don't hide it
(15:07):
anymore in the work and I stillam aware of the fact that if
they see it too much and they'refocused on it, they're not
focused on what needs to be onthe screen, which is your eyes
and your soul.
And there's so many roles whereit just doesn't matter.
You know, I've been trying toget this industry to understand
that it just doesn't matter.
It does not matter guy has abald head, some guy has a big
(15:32):
nose, some guy has a big beerbelly, somebody has one leg
missing, somebody has one armmissing, somebody's blonde,
somebody's brunette, it's likewho cares?
It's all qualitycharacteristics of characters,
you know.
So it all adds to the richnessof what we're putting on the
screen.
And you know, I worked incasting for a lot of years and I
(15:54):
got to hear all the behind thescenes nonsense and the things
they worry about.
And you know what I do knowAudiences worldwide.
They don't really like perfectpeople.
They actually hate them andthey enjoy hating them.
And so when they think somebodyis being presented as
perfection, they can't wait totear them apart and tear them
(16:14):
down and be like, well, that'snot even real and blah, blah,
blah.
They can't wait to attackperfect.
So I'm like so with us you geta built in, don't have to worry
about attacking us for beingperfect.
You know, we got other thingsto bring to the table.
So I'm very sensitive to whereyou're at as an actor, because
(16:36):
it's been a debate for decadesabout do we hide it?
Do we show it?
Do we hide it?
Do we show it?
There were years where I waslike if I hide it, I get in the
door.
I'm okay.
If I show it, I don't get inthe door.
Now we got a problem because Ican't get on the set to show
them what I can do if I can'tget past the audition process
right.
So I got to the point where Iwould hide it until I got on set
and then I'm like now, dealwith it.
It's now, if you get rid of me,you got a problem on your hands
(16:57):
, and what I've found is that alot of producers and creatives,
once they get their hands on you, they're like, oh, I like that,
can we write that in?
And so that has happened onmultiple shows where they were
like can we write that in?
I'm like, have at it, go.
And I'm like have at it, go forit.
The first time they asked ifthey could write it in, I was so
blown away.
I was like, well, it'll eithermake me or break me.
(17:17):
So sure, have at it.
And that was for this HBO showcalled Hung, where they
literally put me in miniskirtsthat were too tight for me and I
had my AFO brace up to my kneethen and I'd be running through
the rain in high sandals and anAFO brace and a miniskirt and I
was like this is nuts.
But you know it worked.
And I, you know you, I'velearned not to look at social
media comments because I mean,who cares what a bunch of trolls
(17:44):
say or whatever.
But most people were positive,but every once in a while
somebody would say somethingkind of nasty about the leg or
the brace and and I'm just likewhatever block next.
You know like some people arejust creatures and others are
humans, and so I prefer to workwith the humans who can connect,
because at one pointeverybody's going to have a
medical challenge.
You're not going to get throughthis life without one unless
(18:06):
you're lucky enough to, like,crash in a plane or something
you know.
Otherwise you're going down theway the rest of us are, and we
shouldn't punish the people whogo through those battles sooner.
That's all it is is like thekids that go through cancers and
all that stuff.
They're going through thebattles sooner and if they
survive, they should be honoredand respected for that survival.
And you should be respected foreverything you've been through
(18:28):
and never feel bad about it forone second, because that is your
strength, and I write it in myscreenplays, I say it in my
speeches.
I'm like the strongest peopleare not the ones who've been
through the least, it's the oneswho've been through the most
and never forget it.
Those are our world's strongestpeople.
So we don't want to leave themout of the equation, we don't
want to leave them out of thebattle.
(18:49):
I used to say to myself I wish Ihad a warrior like me by my
side when I go into thesebattles.
You know I wish I had another,someone like me, to pick up the
torch and fight when I'm downwith stuff.
And then I realized, well, Ihave me.
I have the greatest warriorright here with me everywhere
that I go.
So I can never lose that and Iwon't lose it for somebody else.
(19:10):
I won't give up my power forpeople that are afraid of it,
because I need it to survive andto keep doing the things I want
to do in this world.
And I want to go out with abang.
You know, I want to keep makingan impact until the day I leave
this planet, and when I do, Iwill have known I did something
great, because I believe thechallenges that we go through
(19:31):
are all just character buildingopportunities, opportunities to
create something that affectshumanity.
And I recently had yet anotherperson trying to discourage me
from my career because, needlessto say, you can imagine what
the industry did to me over thelast five years because I can't
get vaccines.
So you know what they did to me.
(19:51):
That was brutal.
It was like being a leper outhere in LA, and it was horrible
because I can't get vaccines.
So you know what they did to me.
That was brutal.
It was like being a leper outhere in LA and it was horrible
because I don't have a choice inthe matter.
It could kill me, it couldparalyze me again.
You know, they don't even giveme a flu shot, right?
So I went through that hell andI had a good handful of people
constantly saying, well, justquit that business, we'll just
quit, you know, just give up.
And I was like I've fought toohard for too long, I'm not going
(20:13):
to quit, I'm going to keepgoing.
You know, recently, veryrecently, somebody just said to
me well, when are you going toever give up that career so that
you can have, you know, a bighouse?
And, you know, make more moneydoing other things?
And blah, blah, blah.
And I was like you know what,at this point, who needs the big
house?
I mean, I got to look back onmy business and my career and be
(20:34):
like who else and I said it tothis person.
I was like who else do you know?
Went through paralysis, cancer,losing parents, young surgery
after surgery, rejection afterrejection, and kept freaking
going, learned how to walk fivetimes and changed a freaking
industry so she could work in itand open up the doors for kids
(20:54):
with disabilities so they can betreated a little better in life
.
And while I was doing that, Ilearned how to beat paralysis
and overcome that.
And I learned how to beatcancer and overcome that.
And I learned how to changethis industry.
And I still somehow built, youknow, over 100 credits on IMDb
and growing and got into theactor's studio fairly easy.
(21:15):
Who else did that?
And now you want to shame meand say I should quit.
Like who else has had a moreproductive life, given the
circumstances?
I think, given the cards thatI've had, I did all right.
So maybe I'm not rich and thenmaybe I don't have mansions on
different sides of the planetand maybe this industry never
really fully respected what I'mcapable of.
But I'm not done yet andanything can change at any
(21:38):
moment in this business and Ican at least look back on my
life and be comfortable andconfident that I accomplished a
few things along the way, youknow, and that's not arrogance
at all, that's just standing up,for I'm fighting for my dreams
still and I'm glad that I havethe strength and the energy to
keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I hope you'll keep going in yours and you know
whatever lights your fire andmakes you open up and let your
guard down, because you know howeasy it is to play some of the
hardest characters Like, forexample, you got to play a drunk
in something.
Most factors will fail at that.
They will fail at playing drunkSomebody like you or I.
We have a walking challenge.
All we have to do to play drunkis stop trying to balance.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That's it.
Stop trying to walk likeeverybody else, stop trying to
be steady and just take it inand then you got it, you nailed
it and you're not overacting.
I mean, it's easy, you know,yeah.
I mean we have gifts that comewith all this.
We have life experience andmost people can never even touch
.
So it's a gift and it's thegold on your shelf and it's the
(22:43):
trophies in your case and youknow, go into every room just
knowing you got that thisincredible.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
This is just.
This has been incredible.
I've got so much to think aboutafter this.
I think there's not been enoughattention to that aspect of the
industry and I wasn't aware ofthe work that you're doing in
that field.
I wasn't aware that anyone wasdoing it because I've always
tried to just hide it and toknow that there's an advocate
(23:11):
out.
There is just I don't know.
I'm walking away from thisinterview being relieved that
there's an advocate out.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
There is just I don't know, I'm walking away from
this interview being relieved.
And there's a bunch of us nowit's growing.
You know, when I was in my 20s,I was one of the only people
there were very few of us thathad anything going on, and I
used to threaten the industry.
I was like y'all, better openup your doors, or I'm going to
bring back an army of cripplesand you're going to have to deal
with all of us.
And we do have an army now it'sgrowing and growing.
A lot of young kids coming inwho have a different mindset
(23:38):
completely, because they grew upin a world that was a little
easier than the world we grew upin in our age range, you know.
So people are much more opennow and the younger generations
are much more open and startingto celebrate, you know,
celebrate the challenges, and soI think that the future looks
bright and we're not done yet.
And so I think that the futurelooks bright and we're not done
yet.
But when the world can look outat people with disabilities and
(23:59):
honor them, you know, makes methink of that last scene in the
Gladiator movie, when the guyfinally gets killed and he's
down on the ground and the womanwho loved him comes up and says
he was a great warrior.
Honor him, you know, honor them.
That's the perception shift Iwant to see before I leave the
planet and that's what I'm goingto keep fighting for.
Beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Eileen, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for the inspirationand the advice and the advocacy
and for pounding that drum soloudly.
I know that I'm not phrased,that I almost don't feel worthy
to call myself disabled withsome of the stuff that you've
been through and some of thestuff that so many others have
(24:40):
been through.
But hearing your thoughts andyour advocacy and your advice
and now I feel like I've got anew way forward.
I feel like I can find a newway to apply life experience
that I just never evenconsidered before.
I think it's a beautiful thing.
Do you have a resource?
Is there a community, an onlinecommunity, website, forum,
(25:03):
something that you're involvedwith that we could put out there
for other people in theindustry that might be looking
for that kind of resource?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Actually, as many years ago, we started a Facebook
page called Trained Actors withReal Disabilities, and the
reason we named it that wasbecause the industry kept saying
, well, there aren't any trainedactors with real disabilities
and it's like, yeah, there are,we're here Because they were
always faking disability andthen saying that the actors with
disabilities weren't trainedand ready and we're like, no, we
(25:33):
are here, we are.
So we.
We named it Trained Actors withReal Disabilities and Vince
Stasekel runs the page now forme and he is wonderful.
He shares all the work ofpeople with disabilities in the
industry and when opportunitiescome up nationwide, worldwide,
he will put them on the page andwe ask all the actors with
disabilities who are out thereworking to share with us when
(25:56):
they have something out there inthe world so we can post it on
the wall.
For people.
We have become a resource.
There are a lot of resourcesnow in the business and a lot of
support online.
That is our main page TrainedActors with Real Disabilities on
Facebook.
You're welcome to come join us.
We have a lot of castingdirectors who reach out and ask
is there anyone that fits thisthing?
(26:17):
So that's one major resource.
We have many.
I have my own website,eileengrubercom, that is focused
on my public speaking aboutthese things and advocacy and
because of my lifetime of seeingthe strength in these things,
I'm pretty good at helpingpeople see what their strengths
are because I'm sitting theregoing.
Well, I wish I had that and Icould do that.
(26:38):
Well, let me tell you what I'ddo if I was in your shoes.
You know I've been pretty goodat helping people and mentoring
people through the years.
So that website isEileenGrubercom.
But ultimately, the dream isfor people to recognize our work
.
We're artists, we're writers,we're actors.
I can't wait for the day whenthey're always talking about my
work as an actor.
(26:58):
The way Brian started thisinterview because that's what I
worked so hard and trained forthe advocacy happened by
accident, because there was aneed for mindsets to change and
a need to change the business sothat we could work in it.
But ultimately, one day I'dlike to be known as an actor
more than as a person with adisability Not that there's
(27:19):
anything wrong with that, butI'm an artist first and my work
should matter.
I've worked hard and trainedhard.
Oh, I just wanted to answer.
One thing you said, tj, is youwere feeling not worthy of that
title.
But a disability is anythingthat alters your daily ability
to move and function in life.
The things that you go throughare not small or trivial.
(27:41):
They cause a whole lot ofchallenge and pain and alter
your daily functioning.
I mean to this day.
Every morning begins withwhat's the least amount of pain
I can be in.
What shoes do I need to wear tomake sure I can walk today?
I mean, structurally, whichshoe is going to push it in the
right direction this day,because it shifts all the time.
(28:01):
It's a constant challenge.
I don't want you to ever feellike you don't have the right to
.
You've been through yourbattles.
Those are your battle scars.
Honor them.
You know this is.
If it's, you know, if it's aword that you're comfortable
with, use it.
I like to honor everybody'sbattles because it's real and
we've all been through some helland we all deserve to be
(28:22):
acknowledged and accepted andour challenges be honored.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Thank you so much for joining us.
You've offered some greatinsights in both episodes that
we did the Soldier's Hearthopefully coming out in the fall
, we both well, I guess allthree of us were in it.
We didn't get to meet on setbecause of filming schedules,
but it's really cool to countmyself in a film that you were
(28:48):
in and I'm grateful that youcame on and spoke with us, and I
can't wait to look into more ofthe advocacy that you're doing
for the disabled actingcommunity.
So thank you so much forjoining us.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
My pleasure Great talking with both of you.
Hi, my name's Eileen Gruba.
I'm an actress, I'm a writerand producer.
I've been in the industry 30years and I'm excited to have
worked with these guys and to beon the NOLA film scene.
Welcome to NOLA film scene withTJ Plato.
I'm TJ and, as always, I'mPlato.
We're back with part two withEileen Gruba.
I was wondering if TJ wasinterested in sharing what he's
(00:23):
experiencing right now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Yeah, while I don't I can't relate to the childhood
things that impacted you therest I can.
I mean, it's really excuse meone second, it's not a secret in
the industry I've got I'mdisabled.
I had a total hip replacementand had some significant
(00:45):
complications and then I've alsoexperienced a couple spinal
cord injuries.
And while I hide my limp asmuch as I can, I am limited in
certain ways and I've had toturn stuff down.
I've had to turn down auditionsbecause I couldn't handle the
(01:07):
physical side of it.
I knew that it wasn't right forme.
And to just to see youadvocating for people with
disabilities, no matter what thesource is, is just amazing, and
I haven't had a conversationwith someone that does that and
I haven't had a conversationwith someone in the industry
(01:30):
that is disabled and experienceschallenges.
Sometimes it feels like I'm theonly one you know, and there
are times that I wonder is itgoing to impact the future of my
career?
And I questioned well, did?
Am I auditioning, slowing downbecause of my disability, or is
it just the industry?
And the self-doubt creeps in.
(01:50):
I don't ever worry about notbooking something.
I had an acting teacher veryearly on say that he didn't get.
He's never been rejected forsomething.
He just wasn't accepted orwasn't booked or whatever.
And I try to use that littlethought to not get myself down
when I don't book something.
But yeah, the self-doubt creepsin and it's just incredible to
(02:13):
see you advocating the way thatyou are.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you.
You know, what Maybe this canhelp is when I was in New York
and I really started the intensetraining, I realized all the
life experience, all that trauma.
You know because you knowyou've said you have also spinal
cord injury, hip replacementwhich means you know what I'm
talking about when I say thesethings are hard, recovery is
(02:39):
hard, surgeries are hard,they're painful, they put you
back for quite a while.
They don't just mess with thepart of your body that got cut,
but your whole body suffers.
And to have that layered on topof fighting for a career or
you're really good at what youdo and someone wants to reject
(02:59):
you or keep you out of a jobthat you need, because they
don't have any respect for whatyou've been through, to even be
standing in their room right now, right.
I find that so egregiouslyunacceptable because I thought
in my head many times and I'mnot saying you to, I'm saying
you to the persons who reject meif you had to live my life,
(03:21):
you'd be dead.
And I've come across manypeople that I've thought that,
looking in their eyes whilethey're pointing out what's
wrong with me, and I'm thinkingyou would have never survived my
life, my friend.
So I do smile when I'm goingthrough that, because the
thoughts in my head are like,wow, they have no idea the force
standing in front of them.
They have zero clue.
(03:41):
And I'm going to own that,because all that trauma and all
the power and strength andendurance and courage it took to
survive these things, to gothrough those surgeries, to walk
again and again and again, aretrophies on my shelf.
So when somebody has to have meplay a character like the one I
(04:02):
played for your film, it's nothard for me to touch those
emotions.
All I got to do is let my guarddown, game on.
You know, connect with somebodyand share with them what I've
been through Through the eyesand through the words in the
script, and then I can connectto someone because I understand
and I have empathy Empathy inspades, beyond most people and
(04:23):
so that my friend is going to beyour greatest strength as an
actor right there and ratherthan take on their rejection.
You know, I think about what mymother said when I was a kid.
She said what you have there isa great judge of character,
other people's character.
They're not showing you what'swrong with you, they're showing
you what's wrong with them andmany years later she's been dead
(04:46):
for so many years and I alwaysring that rings in my head.
When someone's being a jerk orthey're just rejecting me
because they don't like the wayI move, whatever, I smile and in
my head I'm thinking thank youfor showing me who you are.
Next, because the greatest giftcomes from when people do know
what you've been through.
You have two sets of people inthe world ones who are drawn to
(05:09):
you because of it, becausethey're stronger, and they want
to know how you're doing this.
And they want to know youbecause grit and life experience
and all those things areattractive to strong people.
Or there's the other kind ofpeople who are afraid of you
because they've been throughnothing and they're scared of
everything and you know what.
Later in life I finallyrealized I wish I could go back
(05:29):
to 15 and know this.
But what I realized is I don'treally care if the weakest
people want to reject.
I want the strongest peoplearound me.
You know like I want my battlewarriors all around me, and so
(05:49):
you know I'm laughing when I saythis, but I mean it.
I have the strongest friends inthe world and the people who
respect my work in this businessare the best of the best.
So when I get through thebarriers and to them they write
bigger roles for me, it's howI've had some of my best work.
And you know, tj, you're a verysoulful person.
(06:10):
You can see it in your eyes.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Nothing you've been through makes you less, it makes
you more, and that is what Itry to tell all the kids that I
advocate for out here.
And even some of them areafraid of me and want to keep me
out, even though I've fought toopen doors for all of them.
You know our industry is moreopen than ever, especially when
it comes to veterans.
Trust me on that one, and ifthey know that you're a veteran,
you know what they want to know.
(06:34):
Here's the bottom line.
I'm just going to be very frankabout this.
This business is quite simplewhen you think about it.
They want to know.
Bottom line are you going tocost them money?
So I'm always quick to let themknow hey, I got my stuff, I got
this handled, so just hire me,bring me in and I will do.
I will work my magic and I willmake it as easy as possible for
(06:54):
people to hire me and on setsand everything, I do not make
trouble.
I make it easy for them and Ilet them know I'm fine, I can do
whatever you need me to do, toa point Like I'm not going to be
great about running down thebeach with no shoes on.
I can't do it.
But I would turn down that ruleor tell them another way to
shoot it.
Instead of thinking of of adisability as some reason
(07:16):
they're going to reject you, Ithink of all the reasons.
It's an asset to theirproduction and get that point
across.
And what I tell the communityof people with disabilities that
I advocate for and thatcommunity is growing and growing
and growing because more peopleare feeling safe, disclosing
that they have a challenge.
And what I tell them is justmake sure you're ready, just
make sure you're good, bringthem your full heart into your
(07:38):
work, be open and if somebody'srejecting you, you got to like I
don't even care.
Thanks for showing me who youare.
Let me move on to the next oneand you'll find them.
And once you get past thegatekeepers, you really get to
the creative people.
And creative people Like I'vehad creative people be like it
is so fun to write for youbecause they know I'll do
(08:00):
anything, I'll try anything, andthat was part of what the deal
was at the actor's studio.
I mean, within my integrity,I'm not saying I'll do anything.
I've turned down more thingsthat were exploitative of women
than you can even imagine.
I mean I used to in my 20s, belike in tears, being like why is
it that every role they want togive me is so gross against
women and I just wouldn't dothose things.
(08:22):
I've kept my integrity throughit all.
You know, I turned down Playboymultiple times because of the
fact that I'm like that's notwhat I want to do.
I don't want my image to hurtwomen all over the world.
That's not what I want.
So I'm not doing it.
And and people thought I wasstupid when I was young and
wouldn't do that stuff.
And I was like you know, Iremember a casting director
saying do you know how manywomen would kill for this
(08:44):
opportunity?
And my immediate response wasdid you know that my mother
would come out of her grave andkill me?
I'm not doing it and I'm glad Istuck by that because I watched
the trajectory of careers ofthe girls who get drawn into
that young and my career isstill going.
A lot of people say your careerwill end at 40.
Mine hasn't.
You know, if you keep doing thehard work and keep being good
(09:06):
at what you do and keep puttingyourself in that situation
rejection it's like socks.
I remember when kids always madefun of me when I was young,
knocking me over in PE and allthose things, and you know it's
really funny.
Success really evens the play.
I can't tell you how manypeople have reached out and
apologized to me from things inour youth, things that I didn't
(09:27):
even remember, and I'm like, wow, this is funny and but they
know it, they hold on to, theyknew they treated you bad or
wrong and I can't wait till wehave a time when any kid, no
matter what they've been through, can dream up what their future
looks like and go get it andthat our society won't be
shutting the door just becausethey've been through more.
Another thing about people withdisabilities that I find really
(09:50):
interesting and, as I said,I've had in and out of
wheelchairs all my life rebuilds, all the work.
I've had multiple years of mycareer on crutches and back in
wheelchairs because ofrebuilding things.
So I've seen all sides of itand the spirit that comes with
those battles is big.
And when I go into a children'scancer hospital, for example,
(10:12):
where I used to volunteer inAtlanta at Scottish Rite and
work with kids with disabilities, no matter how sick they are,
you know what you see.
You see spirit.
You see like this huge spiritcoming out of them and it's the
reason they survive and it's thereason they keep going.
You know, later in life youhave people with disabilities
who are very spirited and peopleare like want to crush them or
(10:33):
get them to shut up and hide ina corner and I'm like sorry, no,
no, you don't understand, youcan't crush me.
There's only one person who cancrush me and that's me, and I'm
not going to crush me.
So you know, the reason that Ihave this big spirit is because
I've survived a lot and that'swhat I try to tell people about
these kids.
They're going to come into theworld with bang, you know, like
so much energy, and I thinkabout some of the kids I've
(10:56):
mentored through the years andthey still come in a room and
light up the whole place withtheir eyes, their smile, doesn't
matter what's going on with therest of them, you know, because
their spirit is strong and Iwant to get the world to honor
that.
You know like I look at you, tj, and I'm like I want the world
to honor your battles.
Respect, respect is what shouldbe seen, not pity, not looking
down, not thinking it's lessbecause in the end.
(11:18):
Okay, you're a veteran, so Idon't know if that means you
went to combat.
I don't know what you've beenthrough, but I would think that
if I was going to war, I wouldwant to have some good
conversations and education frompeople who've been to war
before.
Right, and everyone at somepoint in life is going to go to
war for their life and at thatpoint you're going to want to
(11:39):
know the ones who know how tolive.
You're going to want to knowthe survivors and the ones
who've been through it, the oneswho've had the hip surgeries,
the ones who've survived so manysurgeries.
Some of my friends have hadliterally hundreds of surgeries
and they're fighting out here,trying to be actors, and they're
always laughing and they'realways.
You could take the worstsituation and they will turn it
(12:00):
into some humor that you neverthought was right to come out of
anyone's mouth, but they canget away with it.
Their strength and their spiritand their humors are just
unstoppable, and that's what Ihope.
Anyone who's been through hellwill realize the gift in what
they've been through and thegift in what you've been through
and the strength that you canbring to the screen, because our
(12:20):
career really is all abouthumanity, and the people who
miss that are making work thatnobody cares about.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's a great point.
You said something that reallyresonated.
I've had different actingteachers demonstrate different
approaches to tapping intoemotion and leaning on life
experience.
To tapping into emotion andleaning on life experience, I've
never heard anyone put it theway you just did just let the
guard down, and that's certainlysomething.
(12:52):
I've put my guard up and I'vehad the walls up because of the
background, the veteranbackground, and I do also want
to be clear that I don't for aminute feel like I've lost
something or not bookedsomething because of that.
I don't think there's a singlecast and director that I've
auditioned for that was like ohno, he's, there's something.
I don't feel that that's beenthe case.
A lot of it has beenself-limiting, but there's been
(13:13):
roles that I've had to say Ican't audition for this because
of that.
But I was also trying to find away to word it.
I've had people discourage mefrom disclosing my disability
and say that it'll hurt you inthe long run.
Talking with you today, it'sgiven me the courage to not hide
that because it's been hidden.
(13:34):
People that are close to meknow the stuff that I've been
through and I don't know.
I just I guess I don't want to.
I don't feel like I need tohide it anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
You know I had to hide it for a lot of years.
A lot of years I wore longskirts most of the time to hide
it and the reason that I had towas because if they saw it I
wasn't getting a job and so Iwas like, fine, I'll hide it and
they won't know about it untilI get the wardrobe you know.
So there are some offices andsome people that I know are not
receptive, so I have to hide it.
(14:04):
I literally have in the pastlost so many jobs because of it
and found out later.
This was exactly the reason,like I've had.
Casting directors have showsend and then contact my manager
and say, eileen, hands down,booked that job but then someone
saw her limping, walking to hercar.
That has happened so many timeswhere I've lost jobs over it,
over my medical stuff, which isappalling to me.
(14:26):
So I understand the peoplesaying in this business hide it
because of who your audience is,who you're dealing with.
Sometimes I mean it's hard forme to hide it now because the
whole world, you know, I'veinterviewed so many times and
spoken all over stages andfought for the inclusion of
people with disabilities in thisindustry for three decades.
So now, they all know, andunfortunately then that often
(14:47):
puts me in a category wherethey'll only bring me in for,
like disabled roles on certainoffices.
And I'm like you know, I'mpretty agile, I'm moving around,
you know.
So I understand why they saythat in, but it's like at some
point you're like this is who Iam, you know, love it or leave
it.
And you know, when it comes tothe work, I don't hide it
(15:07):
anymore in the work and I stillam aware of the fact that if
they see it too much and they'refocused on it, they're not
focused on what needs to be onthe screen, which is your eyes
and your soul.
And there's so many roles whereit just doesn't matter.
You know, I've been trying toget this industry to understand
that it just doesn't matter.
It does not matter guy has abald head, some guy has a big
(15:32):
nose, some guy has a big beerbelly, somebody has one leg
missing, somebody has one armmissing, somebody's blonde,
somebody's brunette, it's likewho cares?
It's all qualitycharacteristics of characters,
you know.
So it all adds to the richnessof what we're putting on the
screen.
And you know, I worked incasting for a lot of years and I
(15:54):
got to hear all the behind thescenes nonsense and the things
they worry about.
And you know what I do knowAudiences worldwide.
They don't really like perfectpeople.
They actually hate them andthey enjoy hating them.
And so when they think somebodyis being presented as
perfection, they can't wait totear them apart and tear them
(16:14):
down and be like, well, that'snot even real and blah, blah,
blah.
They can't wait to attackperfect.
So I'm like so with us you geta built in, don't have to worry
about attacking us for beingperfect.
You know, we got other thingsto bring to the table.
So I'm very sensitive to whereyou're at as an actor, because
(16:36):
it's been a debate for decadesabout do we hide it?
Do we show it?
Do we hide it?
Do we show it?
There were years where I waslike if I hide it, I get in the
door.
I'm okay.
If I show it, I don't get inthe door.
Now we got a problem because Ican't get on the set to show
them what I can do if I can'tget past the audition process
right.
So I got to the point where Iwould hide it until I got on set
and then I'm like now, dealwith it.
It's now, if you get rid of me,you got a problem on your hands
(16:57):
, and what I've found is that alot of producers and creatives,
once they get their hands on you, they're like, oh, I like that,
can we write that in?
And so that has happened onmultiple shows where they were
like can we write that in?
I'm like, have at it, go.
And I'm like have at it, go forit.
The first time they asked ifthey could write it in, I was so
blown away.
I was like, well, it'll eithermake me or break me.
(17:17):
So sure, have at it.
And that was for this HBO showcalled Hung, where they
literally put me in miniskirtsthat were too tight for me and I
had my AFO brace up to my kneethen and I'd be running through
the rain in high sandals and anAFO brace and a miniskirt and I
was like this is nuts.
But you know it worked.
And I, you know you, I'velearned not to look at social
media comments because I mean,who cares what a bunch of trolls
(17:44):
say or whatever.
But most people were positive,but every once in a while
somebody would say somethingkind of nasty about the leg or
the brace and and I'm just likewhatever block next.
You know like some people arejust creatures and others are
humans, and so I prefer to workwith the humans who can connect,
because at one pointeverybody's going to have a
medical challenge.
You're not going to get throughthis life without one unless
(18:06):
you're lucky enough to, like,crash in a plane or something
you know.
Otherwise you're going down theway the rest of us are, and we
shouldn't punish the people whogo through those battles sooner.
That's all it is is like thekids that go through cancers and
all that stuff.
They're going through thebattles sooner and if they
survive, they should be honoredand respected for that survival.
And you should be respected foreverything you've been through
(18:28):
and never feel bad about it forone second, because that is your
strength, and I write it in myscreenplays, I say it in my
speeches.
I'm like the strongest peopleare not the ones who've been
through the least, it's the oneswho've been through the most
and never forget it.
Those are our world's strongestpeople.
So we don't want to leave themout of the equation, we don't
want to leave them out of thebattle.
(18:49):
I used to say to myself I wish Ihad a warrior like me by my
side when I go into thesebattles.
You know I wish I had another,someone like me, to pick up the
torch and fight when I'm downwith stuff.
And then I realized, well, Ihave me.
I have the greatest warriorright here with me everywhere
that I go.
So I can never lose that and Iwon't lose it for somebody else.
(19:10):
I won't give up my power forpeople that are afraid of it,
because I need it to survive andto keep doing the things I want
to do in this world.
And I want to go out with abang.
You know, I want to keep makingan impact until the day I leave
this planet, and when I do, Iwill have known I did something
great, because I believe thechallenges that we go through
(19:31):
are all just character buildingopportunities, opportunities to
create something that affectshumanity.
And I recently had yet anotherperson trying to discourage me
from my career because, needlessto say, you can imagine what
the industry did to me over thelast five years because I can't
get vaccines.
So you know what they did to me.
(19:51):
That was brutal.
It was like being a leper outhere in LA, and it was horrible
because I can't get vaccines.
So you know what they did to me.
That was brutal.
It was like being a leper outhere in LA and it was horrible
because I don't have a choice inthe matter.
It could kill me, it couldparalyze me again.
You know, they don't even giveme a flu shot, right?
So I went through that hell andI had a good handful of people
constantly saying, well, justquit that business, we'll just
quit, you know, just give up.
And I was like I've fought toohard for too long, I'm not going
(20:13):
to quit, I'm going to keepgoing.
You know, recently, veryrecently, somebody just said to
me well, when are you going toever give up that career so that
you can have, you know, a bighouse?
And, you know, make more moneydoing other things?
And blah, blah, blah.
And I was like you know what,at this point, who needs the big
house?
I mean, I got to look back onmy business and my career and be
(20:34):
like who else and I said it tothis person.
I was like who else do you know?
Went through paralysis, cancer,losing parents, young surgery
after surgery, rejection afterrejection, and kept freaking
going, learned how to walk fivetimes and changed a freaking
industry so she could work in itand open up the doors for kids
(20:54):
with disabilities so they can betreated a little better in life
.
And while I was doing that, Ilearned how to beat paralysis
and overcome that.
And I learned how to beatcancer and overcome that.
And I learned how to changethis industry.
And I still somehow built, youknow, over 100 credits on IMDb
and growing and got into theactor's studio fairly easy.
(21:15):
Who else did that?
And now you want to shame meand say I should quit.
Like who else has had a moreproductive life, given the
circumstances?
I think, given the cards thatI've had, I did all right.
So maybe I'm not rich and thenmaybe I don't have mansions on
different sides of the planetand maybe this industry never
really fully respected what I'mcapable of.
But I'm not done yet andanything can change at any
(21:38):
moment in this business and Ican at least look back on my
life and be comfortable andconfident that I accomplished a
few things along the way, youknow, and that's not arrogance
at all, that's just standing up,for I'm fighting for my dreams
still and I'm glad that I havethe strength and the energy to
keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I hope you'll keep going in yours and you know
whatever lights your fire andmakes you open up and let your
guard down, because you know howeasy it is to play some of the
hardest characters Like, forexample, you got to play a drunk
in something.
Most factors will fail at that.
They will fail at playing drunkSomebody like you or I.
We have a walking challenge.
All we have to do to play drunkis stop trying to balance.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That's it.
Stop trying to walk likeeverybody else, stop trying to
be steady and just take it inand then you got it, you nailed
it and you're not overacting.
I mean, it's easy, you know,yeah.
I mean we have gifts that comewith all this.
We have life experience andmost people can never even touch
.
So it's a gift and it's thegold on your shelf and it's the
(22:43):
trophies in your case and youknow, go into every room just
knowing you got that thisincredible.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
This is just.
This has been incredible.
I've got so much to think aboutafter this.
I think there's not been enoughattention to that aspect of the
industry and I wasn't aware ofthe work that you're doing in
that field.
I wasn't aware that anyone wasdoing it because I've always
tried to just hide it and toknow that there's an advocate
(23:11):
out.
There is just I don't know.
I'm walking away from thisinterview being relieved that
there's an advocate out.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
There is just I don't know, I'm walking away from
this interview being relieved.
And there's a bunch of us nowit's growing.
You know, when I was in my 20s,I was one of the only people
there were very few of us thathad anything going on, and I
used to threaten the industry.
I was like y'all, better openup your doors, or I'm going to
bring back an army of cripplesand you're going to have to deal
with all of us.
And we do have an army now it'sgrowing and growing.
A lot of young kids coming inwho have a different mindset
(23:38):
completely, because they grew upin a world that was a little
easier than the world we grew upin in our age range, you know.
So people are much more opennow and the younger generations
are much more open and startingto celebrate, you know,
celebrate the challenges, and soI think that the future looks
bright and we're not done yet.
And so I think that the futurelooks bright and we're not done
yet.
But when the world can look outat people with disabilities and
(23:59):
honor them, you know, makes methink of that last scene in the
Gladiator movie, when the guyfinally gets killed and he's
down on the ground and the womanwho loved him comes up and says
he was a great warrior.
Honor him, you know, honor them.
That's the perception shift Iwant to see before I leave the
planet and that's what I'm goingto keep fighting for.
Beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Eileen, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for the inspirationand the advice and the advocacy
and for pounding that drum soloudly.
I know that I'm not phrased,that I almost don't feel worthy
to call myself disabled withsome of the stuff that you've
been through and some of thestuff that so many others have
(24:40):
been through.
But hearing your thoughts andyour advocacy and your advice
and now I feel like I've got anew way forward.
I feel like I can find a newway to apply life experience
that I just never evenconsidered before.
I think it's a beautiful thing.
Do you have a resource?
Is there a community, an onlinecommunity, website, forum,
(25:03):
something that you're involvedwith that we could put out there
for other people in theindustry that might be looking
for that kind of resource?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Actually, as many years ago, we started a Facebook
page called Trained Actors withReal Disabilities, and the
reason we named it that wasbecause the industry kept saying
, well, there aren't any trainedactors with real disabilities
and it's like, yeah, there are,we're here Because they were
always faking disability andthen saying that the actors with
disabilities weren't trainedand ready and we're like, no, we
(25:33):
are here, we are.
So we.
We named it Trained Actors withReal Disabilities and Vince
Stasekel runs the page now forme and he is wonderful.
He shares all the work ofpeople with disabilities in the
industry and when opportunitiescome up nationwide, worldwide,
he will put them on the page andwe ask all the actors with
disabilities who are out thereworking to share with us when
(25:56):
they have something out there inthe world so we can post it on
the wall.
For people.
We have become a resource.
There are a lot of resourcesnow in the business and a lot of
support online.
That is our main page TrainedActors with Real Disabilities on
Facebook.
You're welcome to come join us.
We have a lot of castingdirectors who reach out and ask
is there anyone that fits thisthing?
(26:17):
So that's one major resource.
We have many.
I have my own website,eileengrubercom, that is focused
on my public speaking aboutthese things and advocacy and
because of my lifetime of seeingthe strength in these things,
I'm pretty good at helpingpeople see what their strengths
are because I'm sitting theregoing.
Well, I wish I had that and Icould do that.
(26:38):
Well, let me tell you what I'ddo if I was in your shoes.
You know I've been pretty goodat helping people and mentoring
people through the years.
So that website isEileenGrubercom.
But ultimately, the dream isfor people to recognize our work
.
We're artists, we're writers,we're actors.
I can't wait for the day whenthey're always talking about my
work as an actor.
(26:58):
The way Brian started thisinterview because that's what I
worked so hard and trained forthe advocacy happened by
accident, because there was aneed for mindsets to change and
a need to change the business sothat we could work in it.
But ultimately, one day I'dlike to be known as an actor
more than as a person with adisability Not that there's
(27:19):
anything wrong with that, butI'm an artist first and my work
should matter.
I've worked hard and trainedhard.
Oh, I just wanted to answer.
One thing you said, tj, is youwere feeling not worthy of that
title.
But a disability is anythingthat alters your daily ability
to move and function in life.
The things that you go throughare not small or trivial.
(27:41):
They cause a whole lot ofchallenge and pain and alter
your daily functioning.
I mean to this day.
Every morning begins withwhat's the least amount of pain
I can be in.
What shoes do I need to wear tomake sure I can walk today?
I mean, structurally, whichshoe is going to push it in the
right direction this day,because it shifts all the time.
(28:01):
It's a constant challenge.
I don't want you to ever feellike you don't have the right to
.
You've been through yourbattles.
Those are your battle scars.
Honor them.
You know this is.
If it's, you know, if it's aword that you're comfortable
with, use it.
I like to honor everybody'sbattles because it's real and
we've all been through some helland we all deserve to be
(28:22):
acknowledged and accepted andour challenges be honored.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Thank you so much for joining us.
You've offered some greatinsights in both episodes that
we did the Soldier's Hearthopefully coming out in the fall
, we both well, I guess allthree of us were in it.
We didn't get to meet on setbecause of filming schedules,
but it's really cool to countmyself in a film that you were
(28:48):
in and I'm grateful that youcame on and spoke with us, and I
can't wait to look into more ofthe advocacy that you're doing
for the disabled actingcommunity.
So thank you so much forjoining us.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
My pleasure Great talking with both of you.
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