S3E13 - "The Hurt Locket" - Non Judging Breakfast Pod

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Steve (00:00):
Dear the letter. Dear Serena, I banged your
mom. I don't love you.
Xoxo, your dad also,
I'm Gossip Girl.
He's been making her life a living hell for the
past two years.
Her dad's actually Gossip Girl.

Leif (00:28):
Hey, Upper east siders, and all you scandal loving listeners out there,
there you just tuned into the non judging breakfast
pod where the coffee is strong, the
waffles are fresh, and the gossip is hotter than
ever. My name is Leaf and I'm your seasoned Gossip
Girl veteran.

Steve (00:44):
And I'm Steve, the newbie, the
greenhorn, the. I don't know, Leif. What, um, am I
now that we're in season three?

Leif (00:51):
I don't know, but I have more important things to do than search
for another member of the Bar Bass fan club.

Steve (00:56):
Yeah, but Leif, what if that's my mother?
So here's the deal, folks. Leif has
been watching since the beginning and I am
tuning in for the very first time. Together,
we are going to bring you all the drama,
the romance, and sometimes questionable
fashion choices of this iconic

(01:19):
2007 series.

Leif (01:21):
Bring your magnifying glasses, because each week we're
dissecting every juicy detail of the show. We
one episode at a time. We'll connect the dots,
uncover those sneaky little Easter eggs, and of course,
serve up some piping hot behind the scenes tea.
And expect some iconic fandom moments too,
because what's a deep dive without a little drama?

Steve (01:42):
And since we are all about inclusivity here at the
non judging breakfast pod, there is always room for
you at the non judging breakfast table. So go ahead
and grab a mimosa, a cup of coffee, or
roll up something from Chuck's stash and let's go
ahead and get into this.

Leif (01:58):
But before we get into the episode, we got another
comment from, uh, Nostalgic Edit.
She Posted on episode
310. They shoot Humphreys. Uh, or no, that was the
last. The last days of the disco stick. And her
comment was this episode is all
over the place. Lol. But very
Layla Gerstein. I don't think you guys have discussed the

(02:21):
fact that she created Heart of Dixie. I find she's great
at writing towards Blair and Layton and. And Summer Rachel
comedic silly sides, which I love. Oh,
yeah, I did that. She was the
showrunner for that show.

Steve (02:34):
Yeah, me neither.

Leif (02:35):
Never really got into that one.

Steve (02:37):
Yeah, I didn't. I. I've never seen it. I
will say that I do agree with the fact
that she really captured those
pieces of the characters really well though. I
mean, yeah.

Leif (02:50):
And, uh, the Other thing I want to mention is I was watching a behind
the scenes video of, uh, Pam Badgley for,
uh, the. You final in, and
he pointed out that the soundstage
that is now or probably no longer is, but it
was for a couple years there.

Steve (03:07):
The cage was.
Was in the Waldorf
apartment.

Leif (03:13):
Yes.

Steve (03:14):
And the loft. And the loft was the.

Leif (03:17):
Was the bookstore.

Steve (03:17):
Was the bookstore, yes. Yeah, I thought that was
really interesting. I actually also saw.
I saw, uh, Chase Crawford doing an interview,
and I typically flip right past a lot
of these things because I'm worried they're going to say something.
Uh, I, uh, saw Blake Lively one
time mentioned that she was going to marry her or be

(03:38):
stepbrother with her boyfriend when.
That. Right before Rufus and Lily got married, things
like that.
This.
It was Chase very specifically talking about
when he and Ed first
joined the cast, and they had just shot the
pilot episode and how
the two of them were brand new to New York.

(04:00):
This guy from England, this guy from Texas. And they're
like, well, should we just room together? And they're like, sure.
And so they only knew each other.

Leif (04:08):
Ah, Chase's dad actually put up the money for,
like, down the deposit.

Steve (04:13):
Yeah. Yeah. Because they didn't have any money because they were
just out of college and just
starting their careers. And
they went out to this concert, and they were already
recognized before the show
was released. They had shot the pilot, but it wasn't out
yet. And then Chase talked about

(04:33):
how surreal it was to then
go from being this. I don't want
to say poor, but this kid who was just
starting out to then
kind of living the Nate Archibald
life and then being
Nate Archibald in the city where Nate
Archibald is famous.

(04:56):
So it was. And for him and
Ed to just kind of become those
roles in the very beginning, which also kind
of explains at least a little bit about Ed.

Leif (05:07):
And then the interview you saw, uh, was, uh,
from the call your daddy podcast. But actually that's something
that Chase has been saying for years. He's kind of been
pretty open. They roomed together for at least, like, two
years, I think.

Steve (05:20):
Yeah. The.

Leif (05:21):
Those two and Jessica Zor, who plays
Vanessa.

Steve (05:25):
Yeah.

Leif (05:25):
Were kind of like a trio.

Steve (05:27):
Oh, okay. I didn't realize that kind of makes
sense. I could see that. Uh,
it's always funny. We talked a little bit last week
about Topher Grace and how he had
nothing, wanted nothing to do with the rest of
that 70s show cast. And it is funny when
you learn about these clicks that go on

(05:47):
inside M and outside of it. You know, we have These best
friends of Serena and Blair. But as we've said,
Blake and Leon are completely different people.
They're. They're. They come from completely different places,
completely different backgrounds. So
it's.

Leif (06:02):
While the show is running, you kind of had Ed Chase
and Jessica hanging out. You had
Connor and Taylor Momson were
hanging out.

Steve (06:12):
That. That tracks. The kids he
had. Is. Is Connor. Was Connor age
appropriate like Jenny? That's. He's. I mean, he looks it.

Leif (06:21):
Yeah. I think he's like a year or two older, but he's still
in school at the start of the show.

Steve (06:25):
Yeah.

Leif (06:26):
And then Pen and Blake were.

Steve (06:29):
They.

Leif (06:29):
Neither of them really drink and they just kind of were in their
own love bubble for the first three seasons.

Steve (06:35):
Yeah. Yeah. So they're still together now
on the show, right?

Leif (06:40):
Yeah, it's pretty close. I think they're getting pretty close
to the breakup.

Steve (06:44):
Okay.

Leif (06:45):
Uh, I'll look up when that
exactly happened because I know it's coming up soon, I think.
And then Layton was.
I guess something's just kind of like a homebody. Yeah,
she liked to read.

Steve (06:57):
That makes sense. It really makes sense that she likes
to read too. She plays smart characters
and I feel like that's something that she looks for
in roles.

Leif (07:08):
Well, let's get into this episode.
Season 3 Episode 13 the
Hurt Locket Original Air Date was March
8, 2010 just over three months
since the last episode.

Steve (07:21):
Right.

Leif (07:21):
Which is a long break.

Steve (07:23):
It's a long break and it
doesn't feel like it was shot three months
later. And it doesn't feel like we're supposed to believe it
was a three month break. Like it feels like
it picks up a week or two
later.

Leif (07:38):
Trying to think, could it have been like Winter
Olympics or something? I don't
know. What. We made that long delay in
2009-2010.

Steve (07:48):
Yeah, I mean, Winter Olympics is one thing.
There wasn't another strike or anything like
that. I wonder if some. Maybe something was going
on at the cw. Maybe they like
brought in a new show that. A, um, mid season
show that they wanted to ramp up for a bit. But
it was a weird break.

Leif (08:07):
And uh, of course the title is based on the Hurt
Locker, which I was shocked to find out was almost.
It's almost 20 years old that movies in
2008.

Steve (08:16):
When that. When I saw that that was
the title of the episode, I felt
so fucking old. It was
how is the hurt locker?
20 years old. Like, like blew
my mind.

Leif (08:33):
But of course, yeah, if you haven't seen it, it was directed by Catherine
Bigelow A little bit of an adventures
reunion cast featuring Anthony Mackie,
Jeremy Renner and Evangeline Lilly.

Steve (08:44):
It's. Yeah, yeah.

Leif (08:45):
Along with Guy Pierce, David Morris and Ralph Phineas.

Steve (08:48):
It's a tense movie. I. Have you seen it?
Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a tense movie.
Good movie. I think Kathryn Bigelow is
a really good director. She's done some other really
great films too.

Leif (09:02):
And David Morse is ah. A. Is a local.
Oh, I actually one time I saw him at
the sushi restaurant I was at.

Steve (09:09):
No kidding.

Leif (09:10):
Got you. I can.

Steve (09:12):
Yeah. I didn't realize that.

Leif (09:14):
This episode was written by Sarah
Goodman, one of the executive producers of the
show. This is her second of three episodes this season.
Previous episode was 307.
How to Succeed in Bassness.

Steve (09:28):
How did we feel about that one?

Leif (09:30):
I think we like that one.

Steve (09:32):
Felt like the writing in this
one.

Leif (09:36):
Yeah. This was not a good episode.

Steve (09:38):
I didn't think. No.

Leif (09:40):
Uh, this episode was directed by Tony
Warmby. Uh, back in the chair for the seventh
and final episode of the series
O but he previously did Victor
Victrola, School Lies, Woman on the Verge,
Chuck in Real Life, and the R of the Basses and most
recently the Last Days of Disco Stick. Yeah, uh,

(10:00):
yeah, the last two episodes. Not, not. Not that
great, man. Not.

Steve (10:05):
I like Disco Stick enough.

Leif (10:07):
It was funny.

Steve (10:08):
Yeah, it was a fun episode. I really liked Blair and
Nate in that episode. I.
Yeah, not surprised. This was the
last.

Leif (10:20):
Why don't you give us that vulture recap?

Steve (10:23):
Ok. Everybody needs
to play games. Blair Waldorf, the scheming queen
of the Upper east side, says early on in the
first episode of the new spring season
of Gossip Girl. If only by
that she meant sexual role playing games
involving characters from Tolstoy.

(10:43):
Alas, the New Yorkers on Gossip Girl, like
New Yorkers in real life, choose to play
games that are far less satisfying.
Serena, feeling rejected by Nate after
he tries to heed her dictum M to go
slow, tries to make him jealous by flirting
with international drug dealer and ambassador
son Damian. Rufus, feeling

(11:05):
rejected by Lily after her off screen make
out session with Keith Van Der Woodsen,
turns to conveniently available neighbor
lady in hopes that she will, er,
lick his wounds.
Meanwhile, his daughter Jenny takes her
lauded Humphrey Boggle skills and
applies them to masterminding a

(11:29):
complicated drug transaction.
Lily is coy about the exact nature of her
interaction with Serena's father and the
mysterious Elizabeth Fisher plays dumb
about her relationship with Bart Bass. Only
Dan remains uninterested in deception
and in pursuit of the similarly earnest

(11:49):
Vanessa forlornly spends the
episode reading how to turn friends into
Lovers. He'll end up in
clogs. Sorry for the
messed up reading. I dropped my phone
and shattered the screen last weekend,
and it is the
in, like, the entire screen, and it's a pain

(12:12):
in my ass.

Leif (12:13):
I have her a new phone.

Steve (12:15):
Yeah, and it already was, but I was just
putting it off, and then that happened, and so it's
like.

Leif (12:21):
Okay, well, let's get into
the episode. Act one begins with
Gossip Girl monologue.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of
times. Seems Dickens do something about life on
the Upper east side where the only one thing
you can count on is times. Changes everything.

(12:44):
Word has it s. Gave up politics to focus
on issues closer to her heart.

Steve (12:49):
Gave up politics.
Gave up politic.

Leif (12:57):
That's fired. We open
with a phone conversation between Serena and Blair.
Serena is excited for Nate to come home, but Blaire
advises her to take things slow. As they hang
up, Blair finds the locket from last episode.

Steve (13:12):
Yeah, I chuckled at that Serena gave
up politics thing. She was never in politics.
Politics were in her.

Leif (13:20):
She sort of was. She was officially
hired by the campaign.

Steve (13:24):
Okay, okay. She was.
I repeat, the politics were in her
more than she was in politics.

Leif (13:33):
Hey, we don't know what Trip is into.

Steve (13:35):
No, that's also true.
Does he have a fish thing?
Why, I oughta. Blair also
knows Nate. The
conversation with Serena. Now,
the friends all give terrible advice here, but

(13:56):
it comes from this place that they really do know these
people. Blair knows Nate better than
probably anyone else. Which is funny,
because I don't think Blair. Nate knows Blair as well as Blair
knows Nate, which I think is a huge thing
that we've picked up from their relationship all along.

Leif (14:14):
Yeah.

Steve (14:15):
Whereas Chuck knows Blair
better than anyone.

Leif (14:21):
Serena bumps into Damien and we learn they went to
boarding school together.

Steve (14:25):
Of course they did.

Leif (14:26):
I think Serena was just being friendly when she says
she will see Damien at the dinner party tomorrow, but
I think Damien is getting other ideas.

Steve (14:34):
Yes, of course they remember each other from the school
she attended for five minutes,
which the later references to this. Was
she there for a year? Yeah.

Leif (14:45):
When they come back, she's been gone a year.

Steve (14:48):
Oh, right. I don't know why I was
thinking it was just the summer, but, yes, you're right. She was
gone one year without her friend. Okay,
I forgot that. I don't know why I was
thinking she was gone for a summer that she went to
boarding school. In
my head, watching this, it

(15:09):
was. She went to Boarding school in
September. Eric tried to kill himself. She came
right home.

Leif (15:16):
She was there for a year, but. What? I flagged up the scene.
She tells him to text her his number.
She's just assuming that he has her number.

Steve (15:28):
I'm sure you stalked me at some.

Leif (15:30):
Point, but then again, Serena just does.
Just throw her phone away.

Steve (15:35):
She does. She does. Well.

Leif (15:37):
And man, this is pre cloud.

Steve (15:39):
She's. She's such a narcissist.
Of course you have my number.
Just make sure when you text me, I know it's you, because
I do throw away phones.

Leif (15:52):
Blair asks Chuck about the locket. Chuck is
dismissive and lets us know that one of his
father's quote unquote concubines had Bart's
names tattooed on her ass. Blair asks
for help getting an introduction to the rumored president
of Tabla Alitaire, which Blair is still
obsessed with despite acting like he doesn't care about
the necklace. As Blair leaves, we see Chuck

(16:14):
with a text from Andrew Tyler, who has found the
jeweler.

Steve (16:18):
Ooh. Ah, secret, uh, society.
Ooh. Ah, secret
society. Is this a new secret society or have we seen this
one?

Leif (16:27):
This is the same one that, uh, Georgina tricked her with
about earlier.

Steve (16:31):
Okay, right, right, right. With the, with the painting, with
the art. With the photograph.

Leif (16:36):
Yes, Correct.

Steve (16:37):
Okay.

Leif (16:39):
We see Lily helping Jenny unpack.
We find out that Jenny spent some time with Allison and Hudson,
and Rufus has been away with Lincoln Hawk and Telluride.
Damien interrupts with a welcome back gift for Jenny.
Lily is concerned about leaving Jenny alone in her room with
Damien, but Jenny brushes it off. Also, it
seems like Lily and Rufus haven't been talking over the long break.

Steve (17:00):
Yeah, fucking, of course, Rufus. Of course,
Rufus. Oh, I get this letter. Instead of finding out
anything about it, I'm just going to run away. I'm going to go to
Telluride and ski because I'm so mad at my
wife. So I'm just going to take her credit card and go to
Telluride with my band and I'm going to
go play a show and Telluride and not

(17:21):
take my wife.

Leif (17:22):
I just get Rufus, like, keep his band in a
closet because they don't seem to have any other
lines. Whenever he's ready to go on tour, they're there. He
wants to go off for a, uh, ski trip. They're there.

Steve (17:33):
They've all taken their every
time money and, like, banked it,
and they've all just got huge, huge
stock portfolios. They do nothing but just sit around.
Uh, they probably have their own band. Like the band.
Like, we.
We don't realize they're actually Maroon 5.

Leif (17:55):
Yeah. They're just such NPCs.

Steve (17:58):
They are. They just. They're always ready to.

Leif (18:06):
Uh. We quickly find out Jenny was, in fact, telling the truth
about her relationship with Damian not being romantic. Turns
out Damien has a puzzle involving drugs that he
needs Jenny's help solving.

Steve (18:16):
I liked that. I did like, you
know, the. You're a good puzzle solver.
And I do like it. The Humphrey gaming
thing. And it is one of those.
Being a gamer. Uh, you and I both know this as
gamers. It makes us. It
does have that problem solving

(18:39):
component to it, you know? And
so I do love that that was kind of
showcased. Also, I want to dial back just a
second to the conversation between Lily and Jenny
where Lily's like, hey, your dad and I
haven't discussed this.
I don't know what to do in this situation. And

(18:59):
Jenny's like, if we wanted to have sex, we'd go to a
hotel. We're just gonna go in there and talk. If anything changes, I'll open
the door. We're cool. And
I feel like there's a part of me that would be like, fuck,
that the door stays open. But there's
a bigger part of me that's like, she's got a
point. Like, she's got a point.

Leif (19:18):
They could just grab a hotel.

Steve (19:19):
Uh, yeah.

Leif (19:20):
Hell, Damien probably is living in a hotel.

Steve (19:22):
Yeah. Yeah.

Leif (19:25):
Rufus comes home to the loft rather than the penthouse
and immediately ignores a call from Lily.
Short scene, but, yeah, he just beat a dish.

Steve (19:33):
Like, fuck you, Rufus.

Leif (19:36):
God, that's a child.

Steve (19:38):
I cannot fucking.

Leif (19:40):
I mean, they're both children.

Steve (19:41):
They are. They are Lily. I have, uh,
written down here somewhere much later that Lily
is the reason Serena is a narcissist,
because Lily is just as big of a narcissist.
It's just that Lily also can
manage her shit a lot better and can brush
her shit off so much more. Honestly, if

(20:01):
Rufus right now at the end of this episode, if
Rufus really was like, okay, Lily, we're done. Lily.
Okay, okay, I'll. I'll find number
six.

Leif (20:12):
Chuck is at the jeweler and finds out that Bart is
the one who bought the locket. And a woman matching the description
of the one from the graveyard brought the necklace in about a
month ago for a repair. Chuck bribes
the jeweler into giving him the name of the woman
and the hotel she is staying at. The
name is Elizabeth Fisher.

Steve (20:32):
This locket is all that I have left of my dad.
And the billion dollars that I, you know, spent on this hotel
and the billions of dollars he left me that I then
squandered to buy another hotel instead of
running a hotel chain.

Leif (20:49):
Gossip Girl begins the next scene
with enough time we all find what we're looking
for.
Serena gets off the elevator to find Nate waiting for
her a day early. They both agree to take things
slow. But before immediately
making out with each other, things continue getting hotter. And

(21:11):
Gossip Girl continues.
And when time slows and suddenly
every moment count, all you want is
for the time to last forever.

Steve (21:24):
Nate, don't you have a driver waiting for you?
Weren't you just a second ago? Like. Well, I should get going. There's a guy
down there waiting to take me back to my house.

Leif (21:32):
I mean he's paid to drive.

Steve (21:33):
Just circle the block or just park illegally
and he'll pay the just parked in front of you.

Leif (21:39):
But we really needed derota to just follow these two around with a water
bottle up.

Steve (21:42):
Yes.

Leif (21:43):
Stop being horny.

Steve (21:44):
Stop being horny. Newspaper
pops out of the. Pops out of the coats. Between
the coats
in the coat room.

Leif (21:58):
Yes. We get into act two.
We, uh, get some more Nate and Dan. Bro time at the
cafe. Sounds like Vanessa has been ghosting Dan. All
break. Causing him to read at least five self help
blogs on how to turn friends to lovers.

Steve (22:13):
Dan. So fucking pathetic.
And then that is. It's kind
of stalking almost. It's stalker
adjacent. I'd say to
obsess this way.

Leif (22:28):
Yeah. Yeah. He definitely came on way
too strong. You don't go from friends to I
love you.

Steve (22:34):
Yeah. Ah. And also get over it. Like
Vanessa was very clear. This
isn't happening. She shut that shit down. She
got up, she walked away. I've never
loved Vanessa more than in that
moment. And Dan, you're.
You're kind of sad at this point.

Leif (22:53):
Yeah.

Steve (22:54):
Because you don't really love her. You just saw her naked
and you kind of think, maybe I want to see her naked again.
Which.

Leif (23:01):
Yeah.

Steve (23:01):
Ah. Which I. I don't blame you.

Leif (23:04):
But. Yeah. So the conversation. You don't go right from
friends to I love you. You say we
had sex and I'm. My feelings might be changing.
Let's grab some dinner and see what happens.

Steve (23:15):
Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Somebody. Something.
I realized something
from that experience. Can we give
this a shot? I love you.
No. Dan and
Vanessa's I love you back was so appropriate.
Okay. We already talked about. About that.

Leif (23:35):
Blair and Serena meet for lunch. And Blair
immediately smells the sex on, um. Serena.
The scene keeps switching Back and forth from BNS to
Dan and Nate. Dan and Blair are both giving
horrible advice to Nate and Serena, respectively.

Steve (23:48):
I love that she sees the JBF hair
and Serena, like, she just looks at
her face and she's glowing.

Leif (23:56):
She's.

Steve (23:57):
Yeah, she is. She is. Oh, and her hair was a mess too.
But just that. I just love that Blair
knows her so well to be like, oh, uh, that didn't last.
I. And of course, they're both giving.
They're both giving terrible advice. The thing
is, they're both speaking
from experience with these

(24:18):
people, so nothing they're saying is
necessarily wrong.
It is their experience with Nate and
Serena, respectively. Dan
needs to just not be such a
douche about Serena, because
this is the second time he's kind of blocked
Serena. There was that other time that he was talking

(24:40):
to somebody who liked, uh, her. That. Who, who was
it? Was it Aaron?

Leif (24:44):
I think so.

Steve (24:45):
Uh, yeah. But there's been. Yeah, there's just
been a few times that he lets things out about
Serena from his experience. He's
not lying, he's not wrong. But Dan, just shut the fuck
up and stop being jaded about.
I feel like a lot of it comes from Dan
was in love with this person from afar

(25:06):
and then realized that everybody. Is
that what she. What he saw wasn't
what he was in love with. Yeah, I still think they'll
end up back together at some point, but, yeah, Giving terrible
advice to two golden retrievers.

Leif (25:21):
Jenny and Damon are trying to figure out how to
smuggle the drugs into a state dinner to sell to the
ambassador's daughter. Jenny comes up with the
idea to use her fashion skills to sew the pills into
decorative packets on a jacket.

Steve (25:35):
I like it. I, I, I thought, I thought it was
really clever. I love Jenny's problem solving.
I loved her explaining it
to Damien, who was like, what?
We're gonna, we're gonna put it in the
pills, in the pockets. They're not
gonna be empty.

Leif (25:55):
Dan returns home to the loft to find Lily waiting
outside looking for Rufus. Dan is
surprised to see Rufus's ski gear in the loft, but
Rufus is nowhere to be found.

Steve (26:05):
Yeah, and Dan does not cover
for his dad at all. Like, nope, he's been here.
And, and I love it because Dan doesn't
put up with bullshit like that.
He, Dan doesn't like the games. And as he
shows us later, nope, my dad's home
somewhere. You can keep trying.

Leif (26:27):
Blair is wearing lingerie and an ushanka.
Uh, and calls Chuck in a Russian accent, asking him
when he'll be back. Chuck is evasive and Blair
immediately starts snooping and finds the file on the
locket.

Steve (26:40):
I thought Blair was supposed to go to lunch with Chuck
and that guy for the introduction,
and that's not proper lunch attire
is all.

Leif (26:51):
But also, why did Chuck leave those
documents out? Knowing Blair and knowing that
she has access to his suite, did he
subconsciously or consciously want
her to get involved?

Steve (27:03):
Probably a little of column A and a little of column B.
Probably A. I should put this away
because Blair might find it. But it's okay.
I'm just gonna leave it out anyway.

Leif (27:18):
Chuck has been waiting outside a little Elizabeth's
hotel for four hours. However, when Chuck
complains to the doorman, he is informed that Elizabeth
immediately checked out of the hotel when she got Chuck's
message. Yeah,
yeah, the other shitty parent.

Steve (27:34):
Yep.

Leif (27:36):
She fits right in.
An awkward. Blair passes a bemused Nate as
she is leaving Chuck's suite, still dressed as Anna Karenina.

Steve (27:48):
I loved this interaction. It
was so quick. It was this.
It's from Anna Karenina. You haven't read it?
Don't worry about it. I never do.
Which. Which you realize. How
many times has Blair made
Nate roleplay characters

(28:09):
from Aubrey Hepburn movies and
her favorite books that Nate
would never fucking watch or read? He
probably sat through the movies because at least they were talking
pictures, but he wasn't.
There's no way he's read any of these
books. But how many times did he put

(28:29):
on his fucking.
Whatever costume Blair wanted
for the role play of, um, all of
these scenarios? It just made me really. When his
response to I never do,
it's like, yep, he's been here.

Leif (28:48):
Rufus is standing outside of Billy's building trying
to decide if he wants to know the truth or if he wants to be in
denial. However, he is interrupted by Holland,
who is out walking her dogs. Holland invites him
to grab a cup of coffee and Rufus agrees.

Steve (29:02):
Here, why don't we just walk arm in arm
together while I'm trying to figure out
about my wife, you dumb fucking asshole.

Leif (29:11):
Well, like, she had the umbrella, but it wasn't raining.

Steve (29:14):
Yeah, yeah.

Leif (29:16):
Like, I think they wanted the scene to be raining, but maybe it
just, like, stopped raining. Yeah, yeah, they just couldn't
get it done.

Steve (29:23):
Yeah, yeah. Super fucking.

Leif (29:26):
But yeah, she. Well,
there's like, been almost zero characterization of this
woman other than she thinks Rufus is hot.

Steve (29:34):
Yeah, other than she thinks Rufus is hot enough to
steal him away from his wife
or just bang him behind his wife's.

Leif (29:44):
She is presumably married too. I Think.

Steve (29:47):
Yeah, I mean, we know she was cheated on,
and so. But she referred to. She never said
ex husband. Yeah, right.

Leif (29:54):
And she sounded like she just kind of living with it.

Steve (29:57):
Yeah, it sounds like she just.
That they just allow each other to do
whatever. Or she knows what he's doing,
and so now she's gonna do it too
unhealthy. No matter. No matter what.

Leif (30:10):
Which, of course, is what Rufus is doing as well.

Steve (30:13):
Yes, which is exactly what Rufus is doing. You're all
dumb teenagers.

Leif (30:18):
Serena shows up to the Empire suite looking to get
busy with Nate. However, while it appears Serena
knows well enough to avoid Blair's bad advice, Nate seems to be
following. Dan's being rebuffed by Nate causes
Serena to spiral and go against her instinct to ignore Blair.
She calls Damien and invites him to be her date for the state
dinner. Gossip Girl brings us to the break with

(30:42):
Ora, uh, ora lot. No matter
what language you say it in. Looks like S just
started the clock on a ticking time bomb.

Steve (30:51):
Nate, you dumb fuck. And of course,
Serena responds by being a fucking
narcissist. What? He doesn't want
to go now? Okay, then I'm gonna call that other guy that's
clearly fucking into me and go with
him.

Leif (31:06):
Uh, yeah, just. Just use this person.

Steve (31:08):
Yeah, I'm gonna use this person to play games
with the dude that I actually want to be with.

Leif (31:14):
And we move into Act 3. Dan
and Rufus are waking up under the same roof for the
first time in a while, and things are a bit awkward.
Rufus is evasive on whatever is going on
between him and Lily. He does, however, admit to
wanting to stay in denial a little longer.

Steve (31:31):
Dan has no tolerance for this
at all. I fucking loved how he
was just like, shut that shit down. Like, okay, you don't want
to talk to me? Make your own damn waffles. I'm out.

Leif (31:43):
Well, he's probably pissed he has to share the loft again.

Steve (31:45):
Yeah, yeah. Like. Like. Like I have this place to
myself. And now my dad can't work things out with his
fucking wife because he's acting like a fucking child
and will do his own advice.

Leif (31:57):
Damien is at the penthouse to pick up the jacket that
Jenny has created. He then tells her that he's taking
Serena to dinner instead of and she will wear the
jacket. Jenny gets a little jealous and threatens to
sell Serena about the drugs in the jacket. Damian puts
her in a stalemate when he says he will then be forced
to tell Serena, uh, of how Jenny knew about the drugs.

Steve (32:17):
Damian, you're such a bad Business person. Like, you're
choosing the girl over the business.
Yeah. Which. That's really bad
for business. And as we see
tonight.

Leif (32:30):
Yes. As Jenny points out later.

Steve (32:32):
Yeah. Just a fucking idiot.

Leif (32:35):
Blair comes back to the Empire suite to find
Chuck is blowing her off again. They argue over
which is more important. Chuck looking up some
random woman or Blair's social climbing
agenda.

Steve (32:46):
Yeah. And at this point, Blair knows she's not some random
woman. And so is Blair
really this callous and really
this, uh, stop doing that and worry about this.
Or is she trying to push. Push Chuck into
saying who she is? Does
Blair know at this point she has already seen

(33:07):
the file? Yeah.

Leif (33:08):
That she had a locket of part.

Steve (33:11):
But later on, when Chuck picks her up,
he said, you saw the file. You
know, she's more than some random woman.
So I kind of got wonder if Blair
here is already
Put that together and just kind of.

Leif (33:28):
I didn't get that at all.

Steve (33:30):
I'm actually just kind of thinking of it now in
hindsight, because of that later scene.
Because later on, Chuck says, you saw the
file. You know, that she's more than some random person.

Leif (33:40):
Yeah, she. I mean, she dated his dad.

Steve (33:43):
Right.

Leif (33:43):
But Blair doesn't know about the flowers. Doesn't know
about. Yeah, she. She doesn't know all the
details.

Steve (33:49):
She doesn't know all the details. I'm just saying
I feel like on one end, it could just be Blair
being Blair and, like, come do my thing. Your thing
is stupid. I feel like there could also be an angle to
this where Blair is, like, I'm gonna call your thing
stupid until you admit that it's not. Yeah.

Leif (34:06):
I just don't think Blair would treat it like that if she thought
it was his mom.

Steve (34:11):
I get that. I guess I just felt like this
was a little out of character for her, a
little more un. Understanding
for Chuck, because as soon as.

Leif (34:21):
He did tell her that she thought it might be her mom, that's
when she completely dropped Monsieur dirty thing.

Steve (34:26):
Yeah.

Leif (34:26):
And went with him.

Steve (34:27):
Yeah. Yeah.

Leif (34:29):
Outside the ball, Nate sees Serena arrive arm in
arm with Damien. Jenny tells him all about
Damien and that he probably hooked up with Serena in
boarding school. Jenny begs Nate to allow her
to rescue him for once.

Steve (34:43):
Sure you are, Jenny. I. I dug it. I.
I thought Jenny was clever. Uh, which
Jenny is clever. I liked her
showing up with Nate, Showing up for Nate and going in with Nate.
I don't think Serena was with this guy
back then. I think because the guy said, what happened to that
girl I wanted.

Leif (35:03):
Yeah, but Jenny was Just pushing buttons.

Steve (35:05):
But she was pushing buttons. Yeah. Well done, Jenny.
Well played, I should say.

Leif (35:12):
And, uh, she never says. He definitely did. She says, I think.

Steve (35:14):
I think. Yeah.

Leif (35:17):
Plausible deniability. She learned from Blair.

Steve (35:19):
She learned from Blair. Mhm.

Leif (35:22):
Nate and Jenny meet M. Serena and Damien at the coat
check. Nate and Serena question their respective
partners, and Jenny and Damien verbally spar.
Serena declines to check the jacket.
Gossip Girl closes the act with.
So much for diplomacy. Let the international
games begin.

Steve (35:43):
You know, Serena and Nate just being dumb at each other
when they first walk in, but then when she
doesn't check the coat.
I don't know. I didn't see that coming. And
I knew that her wearing the coat was
gonna backfire. I didn't even
think of just the. Oh, no, I love this coat. I'm gonna wear it.

(36:04):
Like, don't. You fucking idiot.
If you took the person who planned this,
you'd be fine right now.

Leif (36:12):
Yep. Yep. We move into Act
4 at the ball. Blair introduces herself
to Damien, who quickly excuses himself.
Blair commends Serena for following
her advice. Blair also immediately pegs
Jenny. Being with Nate being her own doing and not
Nate's. Serena wishes Blair bonne

(36:32):
chance with Monsieur Derry.

Steve (36:34):
I love this little best friend check in.
And the. Oh, come on, Blair. Anyone
would know that you're an elitist snob who's
perfect for running a secret society.
When Serena at the end of the conference.
Aw.

Leif (36:53):
But yeah, I like the Blair nose. Nate
would not think of bringing Jenny on his own.

Steve (36:59):
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. That she instantly
clocks Jenny as. No, no, no, no.
She. She's up to something.

Leif (37:06):
She's behind this.

Steve (37:07):
Yes, she is behind this. Nate might
think he brought Jenny to get back
at you, but it's only because Jenny wants him to
think that. Oh, Nate.

Leif (37:19):
Damien is having problems with his customer because
Serena didn't check the jacket as was planned. Jenny
continues to mock Damien, but he remains confident he
can the plan. And Serena's close.

Steve (37:31):
Yeah. I love Jenny just
owning him.

Leif (37:35):
Yeah.

Steve (37:35):
This whole time. But also, like,
Damian just totally overestimates
himself and his
relationship with Serena.
Obviously, this is a kid who's never been told. No.
Or at least has never listened to.
No. And I just. I love

(37:56):
how confident he is.

Leif (37:58):
And he only knows the old Serena quote,
unquote.

Steve (38:01):
Yes, exactly. Which even
there, I always got the impression that she went
to boarding school to. To change.
Right. That she slept with Nate and was like,
I can't do this anymore and ran
away to boarding school. So I kind of
got the impression that that's where the drinking stopped

(38:22):
and the wild party Serena
stopped. But this is indicating otherwise.

Leif (38:28):
Yeah, I don't think that's the case. I think she. She
left because she didn't want to deal with the fallout with Blair.

Steve (38:34):
I guess coming back, I guess it was more the
Dan stuff that got her out of the
arty lifestyle and whatnot.

Leif (38:43):
Uh, Nate and Serena continue to accuse each other
of playing games. However, Damian interrupts and
pulls Serena away to meet some people.
As they are walking away, Damian looks back and whispers at
Nate, thanking him for keeping his date company.
Such a sleazeball.

Steve (38:59):
He's such a sleazeball. And he just. And he thinks
he's just got this, and he's so
dumb. And also, Nate and Serena
are just. They're this close to just talking, and
it's just. Nope, gotta be dumb.

Leif (39:13):
When Damian serena about Nate, she
admits she was using Damien to make Nate jealous.
Damian suggests they fully commit to the bit and starts
trying to take the jacket off and then tries to lean in for the
kiss. Serena rebuffs him and apologizes again for
leading him on. That's when Damian goes from
sleazy to creepy, grabbing her arm and slut

(39:33):
shaming her.

Steve (39:35):
There's a lot to take in in this little bit here because
there's. First of all, there's Serena just super
casually. Oh, yeah, totally, totally.
Brought here just to make him jealous. Yeah, he's probably gonna be my
boyfriend. I totally brought you here to make you jealous. Sorry
about that. And he's like, oh, well,
okay, then, uh, we should fuck. And she's
like, uh, no, no, I

(39:57):
just told you I like that guy. Like, I'm not
into you. No, no, no. But I used to really want to
have sex with you. So, like, what happened
to her? It's like, well,
that's not who I am now. But also,
I didn't sleep with you. Then why would I
now like you, you, uh,

(40:18):
creep. Yeah, it's just disgusting. Yeah.

Leif (40:22):
Blair approaches Monsieur Durie, who is outside
smoking a cigarette, but seems perturbed that she wasn't
given a formal introduction. Blair is then
distracted by the arrival of Chuck, who confesses that he
believes Elizabeth is his mother.

Steve (40:36):
So he finally admits it out loud.
And you're right that this is where
Blair does change her demeanor
and goes with him.

Leif (40:47):
Jenny finds Nate wallowing with a drink.
Jenny encourages him to not let Serena get away
this time, but also mocks him for following the romantic
advice from someone who has a Cabbage patch doll.

Steve (41:00):
Yeah, first, I loved
this Scene, the Nate and Jenny talking
to each other, getting that advice.
I also love the Cedric shout out
that we haven't had one yet this season, so that was
fun too.

Leif (41:16):
And again, like, you know, they're clearly setting
up Dan and Vanessa right now. And Chuck and Blair
are still strong, but the writers keep
dropping hints of Dan and Blair because they both have
cabbage passionate dolls. They both give the bad advice this episode,
which is like they're dropping hints.

Steve (41:33):
Yes. Which I'm. I'm waiting. I'm all
for that. I'm all for that
matchup because I
love. Whenever they're on screen together,
Chuck and.

Leif (41:45):
Blair are debating on if Elizabeth could be
his mother. At the end of the conversation, Blair tells
Chuck that no matter what the outcome, she will be
there for him. In this, Gossip Girl
says,
sometimes, despite the risk, the only thing to
do is seize the moment. Then we see

(42:06):
Serena being pulled into the goat room
or whatever else you can grab. Gossip
Girl quips as we go to break.

Steve (42:14):
Now this is another secret society. Blair is
turning her back on for Chuck.

Leif (42:20):
Same one.

Steve (42:23):
Yes. I thought there was also one last
season that the Colonial.
The Colonial Colony Club. There
was. When Blair walked out, there was the thing where
they were trashing Chuck.

Leif (42:37):
They're also trashing Serena, too.

Steve (42:38):
Uh, they were. They were trashing Serena and Chuck. You're right.
Then I'll. I'll go. Choosing her friends over
the secret society is interesting,
especially because I, um, haven't seen Chuck
choose Blair over anything.

Leif (42:52):
No.

Steve (42:53):
Like, I see. I see Blair choosing Chuck
for a lot of stuff. I see Chuck doing stuff
for Blair and choosing Blair
after the fact, but I don't see him
sacrificing for Blair the way Blair
sacrifices for Chuck.

Leif (43:08):
Will you have to make a choice between his mother and Blair?

Steve (43:11):
That'd be a weird choice to have to make.

Leif (43:14):
We move into Act 5. We find out
it was Nate who grabbed Serena this time. The
pair start getting hot and heavy, and clothing, including
the drug jackets, start to come off.

Steve (43:25):
Banging in a coat closet.
Banging at the coat check.

Leif (43:30):
Yep.

Steve (43:31):
All right, guys. At least there's a couch.

Leif (43:33):
Yeah.

Steve (43:34):
Yeah. This is not the high school dressing room.

Leif (43:36):
Rufus finally comes home to the penthouse and confronts
her about her night with Dr. Daddy.

Steve (43:42):
Yeah, again, Lily
is the reason Serena is a narcissist.
Lily's a narcissist. I. Lily
owns it. Lily knows who she is, but
Lily's a fucking narcissist.

Leif (43:56):
Somehow the Koch woman doesn't see Nate and
Serena getting some heavy petting on the couch.
We, as the Audience also see the drug jacket on the floor,
and it looks like one of the packets was broken open.

Steve (44:07):
Yeah. Oh, the pills are exposed.

Leif (44:10):
That never comes up, though.

Steve (44:11):
Yeah. Why are you showing me this? It felt like they
had something written for it to be
more. And then in, like, reshoots, they were like, okay, I'm
gonna scrap that.

Leif (44:21):
Jenny gloats to a humble Damien a bit. Because of the
botched job, Damien has to run back to Europe.
However, Jenny, always quick on her feet,
spots the jacket on the floor and makes sure the ambassador's
daughter will get it.

Steve (44:34):
Yeah. Once again, they pick up the
jacket. No one sees the pills. It's like,
oh, well, okay. But Jenny saves the
day, and I.

Leif (44:43):
Feel like she kind of planned this because she told
Nate to go after Serena.

Steve (44:48):
Yeah.

Leif (44:48):
And, uh, she just knows that the ads are just gonna burn.

Steve (44:50):
Yeah.

Leif (44:50):
She'll take off the jacket eventually.

Steve (44:53):
Yeah, I know those two.

Leif (44:57):
Chuck, with Blair standing behind him for backup,
corners Elizabeth. However, Elizabeth plays dumb
and downplays her relationship with Bart. Chuck
continues to dig, but Elizabeth continues to deny and
finally tells him goodbye. Blair consoles Chuck
and excuses herself to the ladies room while Chuck gets the
car.

Steve (45:16):
I, uh, hate it. I hate it.
I hate this. I hate this scene.
I hate this plotline. It was
so. It didn't go anywhere. It
was nothing. This entire episode
felt like a filler episode. It felt like it
was here's some stuff to set up stuff later on.

(45:37):
But it felt like they needed an hour episode
to fill to show Jenny make a
drug deal. And then they just filled all of this stuff in
around it that's like, oh, well, Nate and Serena need to get together,
and we have this thing now with Chuck and his
mom. But, like, we need to definitely make sure that
lasts at least three to six
episodes. So we just need this one of them

(45:59):
to just confront each other and just. It
was nothing. It was so
nothing.

Leif (46:06):
This kind of retroactively makes Bart an even
worse father. Yeah, because the whole reason supposedly
that he hated Chuck was because he killed his mom.

Steve (46:14):
But he didn't. Yeah.

Leif (46:16):
So he just hated Chuck.

Steve (46:18):
Yeah, so he just hated Chuck because. Well.
Well, to be fair, Chuck was pretty hateable back
then. But then you're about to, uh, confront.
Blair's about to confront her. Right. Okay. Yeah.

Leif (46:29):
So Blair, instead of going to the restroom, she gets
Elizabeth alone and calls her out on her lies. And
Gossip Girl leads us to the final
break. Uh,
could there be a secret even Bea can't crack?
Only time will tell.

Steve (46:48):
Here's the thing. We've seen
this Blair technique before.
Can you give me a second? I'm going to run to the restroom. Can
you give Catherine and I a second? Can you give.
When Blair will excuse herself alone with the
woman who she's about to tear down. She
doesn't have anything. You don't have any leverage.

(47:08):
You're just some fucking kid who's there with
her. Maybe son who's like,
what you're doing is wrong. So again, it was just
nothing. Blair always has this power
and they made her have this power here of
like moved her enough for the later call.
Right. So Blair comes in and

(47:29):
intimidates this woman, but she doesn't have anything.
There's nothing to intimidate her with. There's nothing
but her own conscience. Which if
her own conscience hasn't bothered her for 18 years,
why does Blair now
make that happen? I hated it.

Leif (47:47):
We move into the epilogue at the
penthouse. Lilius Trickle truth thing. Rufus.
She missed the kissing doctor daddy but denies
sleeping with him. Rufus storms off after stating
that he needs time away from Lily to figure this
out.

Steve (48:02):
His reaction of we were engaged,
Rufus. The last time
Lily was married, the day before.
What were you doing? That's
right, Lily. Yep.

Leif (48:17):
You know the old saying, if she'll cheat with you, she'll probably cheat on
you.

Steve (48:20):
Yeah. So how are you so
blown away that she kissed this dude? She didn't
sleep with him. She kissed her ex husband. She
banged her ex boyfriend the day before her
wedding. So yeah, this is kind of her
M.O. she'll probably now leave you for
him. That's. It's a cycle, Rufus.
But don't worry because if this is really the pattern,

(48:43):
you could be number nine also. Or ten.
You could be number ten also. Just go right back through.

Leif (48:49):
It's funny because you were earlier comparing Serena
and Lily and how Serena is just like Lily
so much so this really reminded me of scene from
2 episode, uh, episode 11 where
Serena was telling Blair it was just one
kiss with Trip.

Steve (49:06):
Yeah.

Leif (49:07):
Well, yeah, it became much more than just one
kiss.

Steve (49:10):
Yeah. Yes.
And Rufus being so mad
about it. And I get being mad, but his
reaction, like you, first of all, you should have had this conversation
a long time ago. But also when he's like,
I need to figure this out away from you.
And it's the super

(49:32):
dramatic terrible acting by
Matt. Like I, I, he's
only good like 25% of the time
anymore. He can't do angry, he can't do
shocked. He can't do, he can barely do
funny. He can only do like pining for Lily.
And that's the. His best. Pining for Lily.

(49:53):
Parenting Dan. That's his best
acting. And you're trying to work things
out with your wife away from her. Do
you hear that? That's not how you do things. That's not
what you would tell your kids. Fucking
idiot. I hate Rufus.

Leif (50:09):
Indeed, Dan is leaving an awkward
voicemail for Vanessa, this time asking for a friend to
talk about the issues with Rufus and Lily.

Steve (50:17):
This is when I realized it was a Vanessa free episode.
I was like, wow, we have this whole episode
and didn't once have to deal with Vanessa. That's pretty
sick.

Leif (50:28):
Rufus is staring at the numbers on the elevator going down
and at the last moment decides to stop on Holland's
floor. He knocks on her door, and she gives
a sly little smile before silently
inviting him in.

Steve (50:41):
You fucking dumbass. Like, what an
asshole. I'm gonna
get even. Yeah, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm
gonna go visit another woman and probably do stuff with
her. Just kiss her.

Leif (50:55):
Child. Child.

Steve (50:57):
He is. He's a fucking teenager.

Leif (51:01):
Nate and Serena are post coitus in the courtroom. They
decide to stop pushing their luck and start cleaning themselves up.
However, Serena's jacket is nowhere to be found.

Steve (51:09):
Ah, her jacket's nowhere to be found. Her dress
I thought was still there on the ground, but her jacket's
nowhere to be found. The jacket that covered her shoulders.
Okay, guess she definitely needs another one to leave
in.

Leif (51:23):
Well, depending on, uh, the episode
aired on March. In March. I don't. I don't know exactly what
time they're saying it is in the universe.
So if it's in New York in February or January,
you're right.

Steve (51:36):
Except for the fact that that's not what she came in with in the
first place. Like. Like she was ready to leave with this jacket
that just covered her shoulders. She wouldn't have stolen the other
thing, which, again, to me is a writing
thing. Uh, a, uh, mix between the writing and the
design staff that it's. She walks in
with this coat, and the writer is
imagining a coat and

(51:59):
leaves with this other coat. And then you have the
designer like, oh, I know how I can make something with these buttons and
stuff like that. That would look really cool.

Leif (52:06):
It's a shawl. It's a shawl.
Speaking of the jacket, Damon and Jenny are admiring it,
as is now being worn by the ambassador's daughter who's leaving
the party. Damien tries to link arms with
Jenny, who scoffs at him and tells him
this wasn't a date. If you want one, you'll have to ask.
Damian is left tongue tied, and Gossip Girl begins her

(52:27):
closing monologue. With enough time,
eventually we see what was right in front of
us.

Steve (52:33):
Jenny, you're so much better than this dude. This dude is such a.
Huh? Do not flirt with him. You are so
much better than him.

Leif (52:41):
But he's cute and exciting and he's.

Steve (52:44):
Rich and he's a diplomat's son and all that.

Leif (52:47):
Danger. Danger. He's a danger jockey.

Steve (52:50):
Yeah, danger. Uh, Jenny Humphrey. Danger.

Leif (52:54):
Nate and Serena are giggling as they tip the coat check woman
for her great service. And we see some random
complaining that Serena took her coat. Nate subtly
brags about his stamina. Uh. And Gossip Girl
continues. And realize no matter how
long it took, it was worth the wait.

Steve (53:11):
Yeah. Again, compared to the coat you
came in with, you didn't really need another coat to leave,
but.

Leif (53:17):
Or you could have just borrowed dates for the.

Steve (53:19):
Or you could have borrowed Nates to get to the limo. Yeah,
right.

Leif (53:24):
But Serena's a narcissist.

Steve (53:26):
Yes, she's a narcissist.

Leif (53:27):
Definitely has main character syndrome.

Steve (53:29):
Yes. Yeah. Whoever made her a main
character really did her a disservice.

Leif (53:36):
Chuck and Blair, uh, are back at the suite, and Chuck says he
will never have a real mother. Blair counters
with, that doesn't mean you're alone. I love
you, Chuck, and I always be your family.
Blair then gets up and walks away.

Steve (53:50):
Yeah, Deuces.
This whole plot is so fucking weak.

Leif (53:57):
As Chuck stares at the locket, Gossip Girl continues.
But for some, that time never comes.
We see Elizabeth dialing a number, and then Chuck's
phone vibrating on the table. Instead of healing old
wounds, the waitress opens new ones
time after time. Xo. Xo
concludes Gossip Girl as we see

(54:17):
Elizabeth holding the other half of the locket,
which contains a picture of herself holding
a baby.

Steve (54:24):
Yeah, why all the lies, lady? Which, of
course, there's probably going to be. Whatever the explanation
is, it's going to suck. Let's go back
to what we've always said, that these writers would be great writing
teachers, but when they actually have to fill in a
plot hole like this m.
It's gonna be weak. I can't imagine

(54:45):
it being like, uh, oh, that's a valid reason to
do all. To ignore your kid and to let him go through all of
this his whole life. I'm not going to be
satisfied with this.

Leif (54:55):
The writers are all set up at no payoff.

Steve (54:57):
Yes. Yes.

Leif (54:58):
Just like. So we got that. The previous scene where Blair
Says I'll always be your family. And then immediately gets
up. Mm, yeah, that's gotta come into
play.

Steve (55:08):
Yes, well, and we're telling all these
lies. Also reflected. I started laughing when
you were reading it. Cause I was thinking back to the scene where Chuck
confronts her and he pulls out the lock. And she's like, oh,
you can keep that, motherfucker. I am keeping
it.
You left it behind.

Leif (55:26):
The full closing monologue for Gossip Girl
is,
with enough time, eventually we all see what was
right in front of us and realize no matter how long
it took, it was worth the wait. But for some,
that time never comes. Instead of healing old
wounds, the wait just opens new ones

(55:46):
time after time. Xo XO
Gossip Girl. And that is
our episode. So what's coming next?

Steve (55:55):
I think we've got a. We've got a little run of Nate and
Serena. There's all their. They're gonna
have drama in there because they're both gonna
constantly be drawn away by
whatever shiny objects are put in front of them. Whoever
says they love I love you to Serena Next.
I do see this
Blair, Dan, and maybe even

(56:19):
Chuck Jenny thing I kind of see,
like, uh. Because nothing would
hurt the other more, right?
For Chuck to cheat with Jenny
would be the worst for Blair,
maybe Serena. But still, Jenny would be such a
terrible one. And for Blair to

(56:40):
cheat with Dan would be really
horrible to Chuck. Uh, because
they hate each other for the most part.
I guess they've kind of come around at this point.
But Dan doesn't have any love lost for Chuck,
man. Nor should he, nor should he, nor should he,
nor should we. But they've done such a great job of this.

(57:02):
Glow up. If the writers can do one
thing, they can make a. A predator look good.
They can really turn a predator around.
The other big prediction at this point, I kind
of hope Lily and Rufus just end it.
I don't want them to have drama. I
want them to just be parents. Why

(57:24):
are the showrunners so insistent on
making Lilly and Rufus have drama?
It's a kids show. Let the show be
about the kids and let the parents just be fucking
parents so they can be half
decent parents sometimes.
Let Lilly be a parent to anyone but

(57:44):
her kids. And let Rufence be a parent
to pretty much everyone but Jenny. And then let
that be their roles. Stop having them
get this. I hate it.

Leif (57:56):
Any. Anything else?

Steve (57:58):
Uh, Rufus is totally going to bang that chick.

Leif (58:01):
Who do we think this woman is?

Steve (58:03):
The head of the, uh, hoa you mean? Yeah,
I mean, that's as Far as I've gotten with it is
head of the hoa. I mean, does she have something out for Lily? I
mean, Lily probably pisses off the
ho. Lily. I think they've actually
established that Lily is pissed off the HOA
and if not, she seems like someone that would.

(58:23):
So I could see that being a thing. But maybe she's
something else. Wait a second. What's her
husband? Her husband is a, uh, something.
Wonder if her husband bang Lily. I wonder if her
husband wonder if her husband
cheated on her with Lily.
That would scan Wonder if her husband is

(58:44):
Serena's dad.

Leif (58:48):
You would think they would mention that plot twist.

Steve (58:52):
He lives in the building, Serena. He lives
downstairs. He just.
He doesn't have penthouse money anymore.

Leif (59:00):
He doesn't care about you at all. He cares that
little about that much.

Steve (59:05):
Dear Delete letter. Dear Serena, I banged your
mom. I don't love you.
Xoxo your dad
also, I'm Gossip Girl.
He's been making her life a living hell for the
past two years.
Her dad's actually Gossip Girl.

Leif (59:26):
Well, on that note, let's get into some segments.
So the Wayback Machine, a little, little creaky. Uh,
this week couldn't find either tells you without
pity or fan forum. So I did see find
a Reddit post from six months ago. Someone was watching this
episode for the first time.

Steve (59:45):
That's really weird. I wonder if it's a matter of. There
was that three month hiatus and no one was looking for Gossip
Girl.

Leif (59:51):
Because yes,
in the case of the Taliban without pity. Those are all
on archive.com. so they. They're not. No, they
no longer exist. And you can.
Sometimes the link is there, but when I click on it just says
no, we did. We didn't archive this page.

Steve (01:00:07):
Oh, okay.

Leif (01:00:08):
Fan forum. I don't know what was up because they did have
specific episodes. I don't know if you're familiar with fan forum,
but they have like a million boards as
there's boards for the individual
actors. So there's gay Jenny
episode 513 discussion thread. Wow, there's
a very specific 513 episode thread.
There's a. Even a Vanessa one and she's not even in the

(01:00:31):
episode. But
this, this uh, this one poster, she had the same complaint
about this me about Serena asking Damian to text her number.
And does Nate even go to college?
Yeah, I mean, Columbia's supposed to be pretty
competitive. I've heard. Why didn't they just make
Nate go to some sports college?

Steve (01:00:51):
Yeah, why was Columbia his? Because this is the one that
he wanted to go to. Right?

Leif (01:00:56):
Yeah.

Steve (01:00:56):
I mean, grandfather wanted him to go to Yale
and he wanted to go to Columbia, but just so he could.

Leif (01:01:02):
Prove that he could get him himself.

Steve (01:01:04):
Yes. Which he did. But also.
Did he. Because. Because did
you really graduate St. Jude's by yourself?

Leif (01:01:13):
And they're also confused on how Chuck's mom is still
alive.

Steve (01:01:17):
Yeah. Why is Chuck's mom
still alive?

Leif (01:01:21):
Bad plot.

Steve (01:01:22):
It's terrible.

Leif (01:01:23):
Speaking of which, let's go ahead and get into some episode
grades.
I went first last week, so you can go first this time.

Steve (01:01:33):
C minus. And I
feel like I'm being
generous. I feel like as I thought about
it the first time when I first wrote it down a grade, I was.
The directing is okay. The
episode is terrible. The writing,
the writing, the plot,
the show running

(01:01:56):
I would even say is terrible here. I feel
like they had some good scenes with
besties. They had cute
Blair Serena scenes. They had some cute
Dan and Nate stuff. And
Blair of course is always fantastic
on screen. Jenny was probably

(01:02:16):
the only person who I thought really had
a good episode. And all of the
plot lines are just fucking dumb.
Except the Jenny dealing drugs. I think
that she's dumb for doing it. I don't think it's
out of character. I don't think it's a bad storyline.
All the other storylines were terrible.

Leif (01:02:37):
Yeah, I, I actually have the same exact grade. C minus.
And for most of the same reasons. Like I really like the
Jenny storyline. The Jenny. Even though
Damien is a creepy sleaze ball,
but he was well written character. And
Kevin size scars does a great job acting the
character.

Steve (01:02:53):
Yeah. And, and I like
Jenny with the sleaze ball because Jenny can has the
cajones to deal with a sleaze ball.
Serena when she's with a sleaze ball. It's.

Leif (01:03:04):
Oh, I'm, um, so in love.

Steve (01:03:06):
Oh, I'm so in love with how sleazy you are,
sir. I can't wait to go to your.
To your high school reunion. Your 10th high
school reunion next year. Next week.

Leif (01:03:19):
Five years ago.

Steve (01:03:20):
Five years ago.

Leif (01:03:23):
Yes, I like the Jenny, uh, Damon
stuff. I like the storylines. I like the name Serena
storyline. It was funny. They were being stupid at the beginning, but they
worked it out at the end. And Dan and
Blair giving the simultaneous bad advice.

Steve (01:03:37):
Yeah, it was all cute. I didn't hate the.
I wasn't even thinking about the Nate and
Serena stuff. I didn't hate that stuff. It was very in
line with them and who they are. They
were idiots, but they're Idiots.

Leif (01:03:53):
Yeah, it was really the Rufus and Lily
and the Chuck's mom stuff that just brought the
episode down to C minus.

Steve (01:04:01):
Terrible.

Leif (01:04:05):
Moving over to stock watch, who do you have going up?

Steve (01:04:08):
Nate and Serena getting their shit together.
Uh, Lil, Jenny's stock
definitely went up. The neighbor
homewrecker Holland. Her stock is
going up. And that's who I
have.

Leif (01:04:24):
So I had those four. Nate, Serena, uh,
Jenny and Blair for the. Or. Sorry, Holland. For the same reasons.
Uh, but also I had Blair because she was a good
girlfriend. Yeah, she was there and she
stood by him. She was a little snoopy at the
beginning, but she didn't push it too hard. So
I gave her an up. Who do you have going down?

Steve (01:04:43):
So I'll start with Blair. So I gave
Blair down because she gave up another
secret society for Chuck who isn't going to
repay that favor. So I saw her as
giving something up.

Leif (01:04:57):
Was she really giving it up though? She didn't seem like she was getting
anywhere. Anyways.

Steve (01:05:02):
I feel like had she pivoted and gone
for it, I think she could have uh, the way that
I felt like that was what we were supposed to believe that
when she went out there that she could have
worked her way in to that conversation.
So I did have her as going down. And, and
also I'm going to reiterate that a lot of that is.

(01:05:23):
I don't think Chuck would do this for her. And so I
think that she is pouring her resources
into something that is not going to net gains for
her.

Leif (01:05:33):
Fair enough.

Steve (01:05:34):
Yeah.

Leif (01:05:35):
Um.

Steve (01:05:35):
I had Chuck going down because
your. Your own mom doesn't even want to talk to
you. Your mom. Your mom. You
think your dad hates you. Your mom faked her
own death to never see you again and
then lied to you about it. She'll visit your
dad's grave and put flowers on it,
but doesn't want to see you.

(01:05:57):
Damn Chuck. I also had Rufus and Lily going
down because they suck. Mhm.
I have Damien going down because he's a
idiot in the sleaze ball. I have Dan going
down for pining over
Vanessa. And also,
also I feel like at the end of that episode, if you ask Dan,
Dan would say his stock was down. He would.

(01:06:20):
Not only is he pining for Vanessa, he really is kind of
going through family stuff and needs a best
friend right now. But he kind of fucked that up.

Leif (01:06:28):
Yeah.

Steve (01:06:29):
So that's my going down.

Leif (01:06:31):
For me, I had Rufus and Lily
because they were horrible and children.
Damien because he's a sleazeball creep.
Chuck because he's. Yeah. His mom doesn't want him.
Elizabeth, because she's a horrible mother.

Steve (01:06:45):
Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to put Elizabeth. Dan.

Leif (01:06:48):
I also have because. Yeah, he was just a sad sack
and gave bad advice. And then I
also had Bart because he was mentioned and he
retroactively became a worse father.

Steve (01:06:58):
Okay, yeah, go ahead. You can go ahead and add Bart for me
too, because that is true. But
here's the best outfits from the last
episode we've seen.

Leif (01:07:12):
Moving on. Uh, to best outfit. Who do you got?

Steve (01:07:15):
So in the beginning of the episode, the first time
that Blair goes to Chuck to talk about
how she wants the lunch, she was wearing this black.
I think it was a dress with a zipper on it and
very slight shoulder pad kind of thing. And I dug it.
And that was mine. I didn't really think that a lot of the
fashion stood out for me as much. I'll shout out

(01:07:37):
Blair's later dress that she wore to
the.

Leif (01:07:41):
I thought all three of the ladies dresses for
the ball were good. Uh, Blair with her Victoria
Beckham, Jenny with the Andrew Gian,
and Serena with the Versace
ultimately landed on
Serena's dress, uh, outfit from earlier.
Just the whole look. She had the sweater dress
from Blue Girl, the plaid stockings, the thigh

(01:08:04):
high boots and the white jacket with the brass buttons and the
cashmere gloves.

Steve (01:08:08):
Yeah, yeah. I also really wanted to shout out Jenny's,
uh, that, that like spider web dress thing.

Leif (01:08:14):
I also really like Jenny's makeup.

Steve (01:08:17):
Yes.

Leif (01:08:18):
Which she also was very different from her normal style.

Steve (01:08:21):
Yes. She did not look like a raccoon, uh,
burglar.

Leif (01:08:24):
Yes. She, she still had the black
mascara, but then she had the pink eyeshadow and
matching cotton candy pink lipstick.

Steve (01:08:31):
Yes.

Leif (01:08:32):
Yeah, that is it for
segments. Is there anything you would like to plug this week?

Steve (01:08:38):
I'm going to mention that I was actually
cast in a film. Friend
of our, our friend Colin from Turtle Ridge
has been in a few short films that he and a friend of his are
making, uh, have made. And now they're doing their first
feature length film and I will be playing
Colin's dad in it. That'll be, we'll be shooting

(01:08:59):
sometime in the fall, so. But we're going to start
putting out promotional fundraiser
stuff soon too. So going to start putting that
on people's radars. And if you want to follow
me, you'll find all kinds of stuff about it as I
start working on this. You can follow me at
TikTok. Steve Marshon

(01:09:19):
M A R C H I O N that's
TikTok and Instagram. You can also find
me on Blue sky at
the Weed Wizard. So go ahead and follow me
there. And that's what I've got going on right now.

Leif (01:09:33):
Nothing for me to plug right now. But if you want to follow me,
you can find me on Instagram and threads and
bluesky at, uh, hot Capicola.
That's hot. C A P
I C O L A. You
can follow the podcast at non judging
Breakfast Pod on Instagram, Threads and
TikTok. You can also find links to our

(01:09:56):
subreddit, Patreon and discord servers
on our website
nonjudgingbreakfastpod.com
and if you'd like to.

Steve (01:10:04):
Get in touch with us, we'd love to hear what you have to say.
Please send us an
email@nonjudgingbreakfastpodmail.com
we'd love to hear your thoughts and read them here
on the podcast along with any comments
you may leave as we did earlier today. And
while I'm mentioning it, please go ahead and hit that

(01:10:24):
like button. Hit the subscribe, hit the follow,
and please leave a comment. Let us know what you're
thinking about this episode. It really helps with our
visibility in Apple podcasts and on
Spotify, and it also lets us just connect with you
and know your thoughts. And finally, while you're
at it, while you're out there, let people know what you're

(01:10:44):
listening to and maybe you can make us your water
cooler talk.

Leif (01:10:49):
We will be back next week to talk about
season three, episode 14,
the Lady Vanished.
The episode description reads, rufus
and Lily grow suspect of Jenny's relationship with
Damien. Chuck learns about the woman who may
or may not be his mother. And Dan and Vanessa

(01:11:09):
struggle through the awkwardness of dating other people.

Steve (01:11:12):
People. So Dan. Jesus. Okay,
so that means that we're gonna see Dan.
Oh, my God, it's gonna be Willa. Dan's gonna be getting
sexually assaulted by Willa, uh, while trying to
sleep with Vanessa, who's banging Paul.
Got it.

Leif (01:11:28):
Well, until next time.

Steve (01:11:30):
Xoxo.

Leif (01:11:33):
You're a little fast there.

Steve (01:11:34):
Xoxo.

Leif (01:11:36):
Yeah, I didn't finish my sentence.

Steve (01:11:38):
Oh, my bad.

Leif (01:11:40):
Until next time. You know you love us.

Steve (01:11:42):
Xoxo.
Little premature.

Leif (01:11:49):
Uh, click on the draw there, Steve. You need to take some
lessons from the Nate.

Steve (01:11:56):
Every time you walk away, run away, you take a
piece of me with you there.
Every time you walk away, run away, you take a piece
of me with you there.
Every time you walk away or run away, you take a
piece of me with you there
oh, it seems I'm.

(01:12:17):
Walking right to your door
my heart's.
Still resting m looking for something more
are you ever gonna see everything you mean to
me I'm trying really hard to believe
every time you walk away or run away you take a piece

(01:12:38):
of me with you there uh
every time you walk away or run away you take a piece
of me with you there
Every time you walk away or run away you take a
never feels right when I'm out here on
my.
Own.

(01:13:00):
I left last night and it feels like
way too long m
Are you ever gonna see everything you mean.
To me I'm trying really hard to believe.
Every time you walk away run away you take a piece

(01:13:22):
uh.
Come back to me.
Smile and you'll make my life
complete

(01:13:45):
every time you walk away or run away you take a
piece of me with you you there
Every time you walk away or run away take a

(01:14:08):
Every time you walk away or run away you take a piece
every time you walk away or run away you take a

(01:14:30):
piece of me with you there.

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S3E13 - "The Hurt Locket"

Episode Transcript

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S3E13 - "The Hurt Locket"