Distractions

Ever wondered why we get so easily distracted and how to stay more focused? Join Candy as she dives into the reasons behind our distractions and shares some practical tips and personal stories to help you strive towards a more mindful everyday.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the None But Curious podcast.
We're all about finding inspiration in life's uncertainties.
Whether you're still figuring things out, questioning your
beliefs, or just curious about the world, come
hang out with us as we celebrate the
beauty of not having all the answers.

(00:23):
The other day I was scrolling through Instagram,
likely distracted from what I was supposed to
be doing, and I happened upon this lady
who crocheted a woolly mammoth.
And it was absolutely adorable.
And I was looking at her creation, and
then I found myself looking behind her at
her wall of yarn, and it was all

(00:44):
different colors and textures and drawers and organization,
and it was just an amazing clip.
And it led me to two thoughts.
One, the gratitude for having the ability to
dabble in my curiosities over the past few
years and finding out what I like, what
I don't like, what I'm good at, what

(01:06):
I might not be so good at.
But I also thought about what my life
would look like if I had been less
distracted.
And so that's what we're going to talk
about today.
Distraction is a pervasive element in our modern
lives, often seen as an unavoidable consequence of

(01:27):
our fast-paced, information-rich environment.
Have you ever, though, considered that the roots
of distraction might run deeper than the immediate
influx of notifications and external demands?
Today, we're going to talk about the more
profound causes of distraction and its effects, and
shed light on how a lack of self
-awareness and balance in our lives can make

(01:48):
us vulnerable to being easily sidetracked.
One significant cause of distraction is a lack
of self-awareness.
When we're not in tune with our inner
selves, it's easy to be swayed by external
influences.
This disconnection makes us vulnerable to distractions because
we lack a clear sense of purpose and
direction.
I want you to think about a time

(02:09):
when you had laser focus on an idea
or a project.
Got it?
Nothing gets in the way of your goal,
right?
Intrusive thoughts?
Nah.
Insecurities?
What are those?
You don't think about the last time you
scrolled through social media, and you might honestly
not even know what day it is.

(02:30):
You know what you want, and you concentrate
on how to get it.
Cultivating self-awareness through practices like meditation and
mindfulness help us anchor in the present moment
and reduce the power of distractions.
I've said it before, and I will say
it again.
I am not the most disciplined when it
comes to meditation.
And depending on the day, my emotions can

(02:52):
whoosh from one end of the spectrum to
the other.
My inner thoughts are definitely a distraction.
And the habit I've taken to recently is
shifting from asking myself how do I feel
to where do I feel.
Focusing on where the emotion is located is
like suddenly finding a place on a map.
I can point to my leg and say,

(03:13):
it burns here.
Or my elbow.
Oh, there's a dull ache.
This practice helps with everyday mindfulness in that
instead of going down the path to overwhelm,
I can simply observe the distraction and say,
oh, look at that there.
And keep on keeping on.
Another cause of distraction is imbalance in our
lives.
When we neglect activities that nurture our well

(03:35):
-being, whether it's exercise, hobbies we enjoy, or
spending time with people we love, we create
a void.
We unconsciously try to fill this void with
superficial activities and distractions.
By prioritizing our well-being, we can restore
balance and become less susceptible to distractions.
For example, I was unhappy in my prior
marriage.
I did everything I could on my end

(03:56):
to make the relationship work.
But as it seemed nothing was working, there
was a point I started filling my to
-do list and schedule and took on extra
projects and volunteered my time for things I
likely didn't have time for.
I no longer had time to myself or
to do much of anything, but I was
desperately trying to distract myself from the thoughts
of ending that relationship.

(04:16):
Instead of helping the situation, the constant distractions
caused me to be away from my kids
more.
It caused me to be exhausted, snippy, sharp
-tongued.
It all just added to the sadness I
was trying to escape from.
Since then, I have noticed that when I
get overwhelmed by feelings I don't want to
acknowledge or can't make sense of, I start
adding projects to my list.

(04:36):
They're started, but take way too long to
finish.
Or, as I've noticed in the past couple
of years, I've been known to stare at
my phone.
To be fair, when I went back to
school a couple years ago, there was an
app I could use to read my assignments
as I nursed and rocked my baby to
sleep, and that was super helpful.
Though when school was finished, I was still

(04:58):
scrolling through my phone.
And I admittedly have it nearby because it's
challenging to make conversation with teenagers who don't
necessarily want to chat or even talk to
a very tired husband who just really wants
to compress from a long, hard day at
work.
And now that I have a podcast, I
will grab my phone to jot a note
or look up something I thought of and
bookmark it.

(05:19):
And then other times, I just zone out
while scrolling mindlessly.
I'm not taking in any of the content
whatsoever.
And because of this, I've been feeling the
need for a digital detox for quite some
time.
However, most of my work is done online
and I need to answer texts and emails
in a somewhat timely manner.
Am I avoiding what I know needs to

(05:40):
be done?
Yeah, of course I am.
But isn't that the way of the world
now?
So a little over three years ago, I
happened upon the book 24-6, Giving Up
Screens One Day a Week to Get More
Time, Creativity, and Connection by Tiffany Schlain.
Her story reminded me of why I used
to love power outages when I was a

(06:00):
kid, because it was one of the times
I remember connecting with my parents and brother
and us all actually enjoying spending time together.
After reading this book, as the kids were
not yet teenagers, I convinced the family to
partake in what Schlain calls a weekly tech
Shabbat.
The kids complained and moaned and groaned and

(06:22):
mumbled.
But after an hour and a half or
so, something magical happened.
We were all spending time together and truly
enjoying it.
This was before our little one came along,
and so now spending time together is peppered
with random interruptions from our three-year-old.
And spending time with the teenagers is, you
know, rare because they've got their own thing

(06:44):
going on.
On a larger scale, the collective state of
society can influence our experiences of distraction.
In our age of information overload and rapid
technological advancement, the collective energy is often chaotic
and scattered.
This collective state of distraction can permeate our
personal lives, making it challenging to maintain focus.

(07:06):
Oh, this happened during the pandemic.
The kids were online students at a time
when they really needed to be near their
peers for social development.
And we all were in a state of
shock of sorts.
So we distracted ourselves with things like Ancestry
.com, sourdough bread starters.
Well, what did you do during lockdown?

(07:27):
We watched a lot of movies too.
Four years later, I can see how that
whole situation affected my kids.
They're constantly on their phones texting or watching
videos or reading.
Those electric bricks were their lifeline at a
really scary time.
And admittedly, my attachment to my phone started
months before COVID, as I was constantly on
it with a guy I was in a

(07:48):
long-distance relationship with.
And he's now my husband.
So should I be grateful for distractions then?
Sometimes they're good.
What are the overall effects of distractions on
our lives?
One profound effect is a sense of disconnection.
Constant distraction makes us lose touch with our
inner selves and deeper purposes, leading to feelings

(08:10):
of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
Reconnecting with ourself requires conscious effort and dedication
to practices that nurture our well-being.
Distraction also disrupts our inner calms, creating a
state of constant mental agitation.
Our mind becomes a battleground of competing thoughts
and stimuli, preventing us from experiencing true peace.
I'm in that mode right now.

(08:32):
On a broader level, distraction hinders our personal
growth.
It prevents us from delving deep into self
-reflection and introspection, essential components of the journey
towards self-realization.
By reducing distractions and creating space for contemplation,
we open ourselves to greater insights and revelations
that can help us move forward.
So how do we cultivate a more focused,

(08:53):
purposeful life?
First, mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools.
These practices help anchor our attention in the
present moment and reduce the influence of external
stimuli.
Through regular meditation, we cultivate a state of
inner stillness, allowing us to observe distractions without
becoming entangled in them.
Next, adopting an intentional approach to life involves

(09:16):
making conscious choices that align with our values
and goals.
By setting clear intentions and prioritizing activities that
nurture our growth, we can minimize distractions and
create a more meaningful existence.
This requires discernment and the ability to say
no to activities and commitments that do not
bring us joy or at least contentment.

(09:37):
And I will say that this is much
more challenging to do than meditation, but it's
absolutely necessary.
Cultivating detachment from material possessions and external validation
is also essential.
Embracing simplicity in our lives helps us focus
on what truly matters and reduces the clutter
that can lead to mental and emotional distraction.

(09:59):
For instance, every three months or so, I
get an urge to purge.
I get the big kids to go through
their things begrudgingly.
I'll get my guy to go through his
stuff and I'll pilfer through the house.
We'll sell a few items, but the rest
of the stuff is donated to local charities
for people who will appreciate it.
And it doesn't mean renouncing all material aspects

(10:20):
of life, but developing a healthy relationship with
them so they don't dictate our sense of
self-worth or purpose.
Retail therapy is a thing, but gotta slow
it down a little bit.
Engaging in regular practices such as exercise, journaling,
or mindfulness can help maintain our connection to
our goals and mitigate the effects of distraction.

(10:42):
These practices help clear our minds, align our
focus, and elevate our consciousness, making it easier
to stay focused and centered amidst the chaos
of daily life.
It's been over three years since I've went
biking, but two weeks ago I decided to
attach the bike trailer to my bike and
haul it and the toddler around the neighborhood.
And those 20-ish minute rides kick my

(11:05):
ass.
I didn't realize just how hilly my neighborhood
is.
And also, hauling 60 pounds up those teeny
tiny hills is no easy feat, let alone
the big ones.
I will tell you though, in those moments,
I am thinking of nothing except riding my
bike and keeping my kids safe.
I hear my breath, I feel my heartbeat,
I sense the burning in my muscles.

(11:27):
It is agony and joy all rolled into
one.
Finally, creating a conducive environment both physically and
mentally supports focus and connection.
This can involve setting up a dedicated space
for work or relaxation free from digital distractions.
Creating rituals and routines that foster a sense
of purpose in our daily activities can anchor

(11:48):
us in the present moment and reduce the
tendency towards distraction.
A month or so ago, I finally painted
our bedroom this lavender lilac-y color, and
I bought new curtains and they're like, um,
they're linen, but they're, um, they're light blocking
and noise blocking.
Amazing.
And though I don't get much sleep, when

(12:10):
I walk into our room, I feel an
instant calm and coziness.
It's kind of like a hug.
And when I get frustrated in the house
now, I find myself walking upstairs to our
room.
I'll look around the room, take a few
deep breaths, put lotion on my hands, rub
them together and center myself.
It takes less than 60 seconds, but just

(12:32):
those few little things that I do helps
me when I get frazzled.
That's all it takes, just a minute.
So look around your personal space and your
workspaces.
Are they set up in a way that
promote focus and minimize distractions?
What changes can you make to create a
more supportive environment for concentration and intentional living?

(12:55):
And while we're reflecting, I invite you to
reflect on your relationship with digital devices.
Do you feel that technology often distracts you
from more meaningful activities?
Are you on your phone a lot more
than you should be?
What strategies can you implement to manage your
digital consumption more mindfully?
There's apps and timers and doohickeys that

(13:17):
you can use that can help you be
aware of how much you're using digital devices
and then set timers and things like that
to help you manage it.
But before you take a likely much needed
digital detox, please be sure to subscribe to
the None But Curious podcast on your favorite
platform.
If you leave a review, others can find

(13:38):
these episodes more easily.
And until next time, may you find magic
in the mundane