June 20, 2024 • 18 mins
This episode explores how different types of space—physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual—affect our well-being. Through personal anecdotes and research insights, we discuss the impacts of overcrowding, excessive space, and the importance of balance. Practical tips including decluttering, setting boundaries, and engaging in creative activities are provided to help you manage your space. Join us in understanding how to create environments that support the path to contentment. Subscribe to our newsletter at nonebutcurious.org and join our Facebook community for more discussions and resources.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Welcome to the None But Curious podcast.
We're all about finding inspiration in life's uncertainties.
Whether you're still figuring things out, questioning your
beliefs, or just curious about the world, come
hang out with us as we celebrate the
beauty of not having all the answers.
(00:23):
Hey there!
Have you subscribed to the None But Curious
podcast yet?
Are you getting the monthly newsletter that sends
blogs, podcast episodes, and additional resources of the
month straight to your inbox?
Okay, pause this really quick and visit nonebutcurious
.org and go subscribe to both.
Oh, and if you like extra credit, join
(00:44):
our None But Curious Facebook community for more
content and conversation.
When we talk about space, it's easy to
think of the physical realm, the rooms we
live in, the places we go.
But space is so much more than just
physical.
It encompasses our mental clarity, our emotional balance,
our social interactions, and even our spiritual well
-being.
Each type of space plays a crucial role
(01:05):
in how we function and feel.
Today we'll discuss the different types of space
and how too much or too little of
each can impact us.
We'll explore the benefits and challenges of finding
the right balance and the importance of creating
safe spaces.
So let's start with physical space.
Physical space is the tangible environment around us,
our homes, workplaces, parks, and public areas.
(01:26):
It's the most straightforward form of space but
has profound effects on our well-being.
And admittedly, this is the whole reason I
am doing this podcast episode.
I have been feeling like I have lacked
personal physical space in my home for a
while.
And so about a year ago now or
(01:48):
so, my husband made a room for me
down in the basement that I could disappear
to.
And it's my office, it's my creative space,
what have you.
And it was getting cluttered and crowded.
So I went downstairs and I rearranged it.
And it felt so much better.
(02:08):
It felt so much better that my daughter
decided that that's where she was going to
camp out for the next 12 hours.
And that's great.
I want really cool spaces for my kids
to hang out, my family to hang out.
But I was really aggravated about not having
a space of my own.
And so here we are talking about space
(02:29):
because it's really important.
Living or working in cramped spaces can significantly
elevate stress levels manifesting as heightened aggression and
mental fatigue.
Gary Evans' 2003 research highlights that overcrowded environments
not only impinge on our sense of privacy,
but also elevate physiological stress markers such as
cortisol levels.
And sustained high cortisol can lead to a
(02:51):
range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, and
cardiovascular diseases.
Furthermore, a 2021 study by Pengcheng et al.
reinforced these conclusions by revealing a strong association
between depression and Chinese household overcrowding.
Excessive space in living environments can significantly impact
mental health as well by fostering feelings of
(03:11):
isolation and loneliness.
Individuals living in overly large homes or remote
areas often miss out on spontaneous social interactions
that are essential for maintaining a sense of
community and belonging.
For example, those in sprawling suburban neighborhoods may
have fewer opportunities for casual encounters with neighbors,
leading to a diminished sense of social support.
(03:32):
Similarly, rural residents may face geographical barriers that
limit their access to social activities and services,
exacerbating feelings of isolation.
The lack of regular meaningful human connections can
increase the risk of depression and anxiety.
Additionally, large impersonal spaces within a home can
feel empty and unwelcoming, further contributing to a
(03:54):
sense of solitude.
While ample space may provide physical comfort, too
much can create a psychological void.
So here's some practical tips in managing physical
space.
Declutter regularly.
This reduces stress and increases a sense of
control over your environment, whether your space is
big or small.
Maximize natural light.
(04:15):
Open curtains.
Use mirrors.
Just get as much natural light as possible
in the house or the space to boost
your mood and help make a space feel
larger than it is.
In larger spaces, create your own cozy space.
Designate smaller areas within large rooms where you
can relax and feel comfortable.
(04:35):
Set up personal nooks for reading, meditating, or
other quiet activities as well.
Now, let's talk about mental space.
This refers to the cognitive bandwidth we have
to process information, make decisions, and engage in
creative or analytical thinking.
Our mental space is influenced by both external
stimuli and internal thoughts.
Mental clutter, much like a messy desk, fills
(04:56):
your mind with a jumble of thoughts and
worries, making it really hard to focus.
It's like trying to find a pen in
a cluttered drawer.
You know it's there somewhere, but it's buried
under a heap of other stuff.
This clutter can leave you feeling stressed out
and overwhelmed, making it tough to make decisions
or even come up with new ideas.
Imagine you're trying to work on a project,
but your mind keeps wandering to a million
(05:17):
other things you need to do.
It's frustrating and exhausting, right?
This cognitive overload doesn't just affect your ability
to focus.
It can also take a toll on your
mental health.
When your brain is constantly bombarded with information
and distractions, it struggles to filter out what's
important and what's not.
This can lead to heightened levels of stress
and anxiety as you try to keep up
(05:38):
with everything.
It's like having too many tabs open on
your computer.
All those background processes slow down your system
and drain your energy.
When you're not bombarded with thoughts and distractions,
what a blissful space to be in, your
mind gets a chance to wander and explore
new ideas.
In Sandy Mann's book, The Science of Boredom,
she reveals that boredom is more than just
(05:59):
a moment of inactivity.
It's a crucial pause in our hyper-stimulated
lives.
Mann suggests that boredom is not simply a
lack of external stimuli, but rather a challenge
to engage with your internal thoughts.
It sparks creative thinking, encouraging out-of-the
-box ideas, and inventive problem solving.
So instead of viewing boredom as a hindrance,
Mann encourages us to embrace it as a
(06:19):
gateway to inspiration and insight.
Moments of boredom offer a unique opportunity for
self-reflection, enabling each of us to delve
deep into our thoughts and emotions and gain
invaluable insight into ourselves.
So here's some practical tips for managing your
mental space.
Set boundaries.
Allocate specific times for work, play, and rest
(06:40):
to avoid mental overload and ensure you have
time to recharge.
This is crucial.
Setting boundaries is a big deal, and it's
really hard.
I know.
Try it.
Just don't even try, just do.
Don't try, just do.
Set boundaries.
Take a digital detox.
Take regular breaks from your devices to clear
your mind and reduce information overload.
(07:01):
Even a couple hours break is a magnificent
weight off of your shoulders.
Engage in creative activities.
Find hobbies or creative projects that stimulate your
mind and provide a break from routine tasks.
Try something new.
And since one of the cures for boredom
is catching up or hanging out with friends,
let's talk about social space now.
The network of relationships and interactions within which
(07:23):
we operate.
This includes our family, our friends, our work
colleagues, and community members.
Healthy social spaces provide support, belonging, and opportunities
for meaningful interactions.
A lack of social space can lead to
loneliness, which has been linked to increased risks
of depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues
like cardiovascular disease.
Julianne Holt-Lundstad's research in 2015 highlighted that
(07:46):
social isolation and loneliness, even perceived, can increase
the risk of premature death by up to
30%.
Holt-Lundstad stated, loneliness and social isolation are
as harmful to our health as smoking 15
cigarettes a day.
On the other hand, Shiro Gabriel, professor of
psychology at University at Buffalo, highlights the delicate
balance introverts maintain to avoid social exhaustion and
(08:10):
burnout.
Introverts need meaningful social connections that are less
frequent, but deeply personal to recharge.
Gabriel explains that while introverts thrive on solitude,
completely retreating can lead to loneliness and exacerbate
burnout.
Introverts need space to manage their social interactions
in a way that supports their mental well
-being.
This approach helps prevent the social exhaustion and
(08:30):
burnout that can result from either excessive social
interaction or prolonged isolation.
Additionally, introverts may be susceptible to what's called
the loneliness loop, a cycle where a lack
of social interaction can lead to increased feelings
of loneliness, causing further withdrawal and isolation.
And this loop can be particularly challenging for
introverts who, despite their comfort with being alone,
(08:51):
still require a certain level of deep meaningful
social engagement to feel connected.
Breaking this loop involves recognizing the need for
balance between solitude and socializing and taking proactive
steps to cultivate relationships that fulfill their need
for meaningful connection.
So here's some practical tips to manage your
social space.
Remember, it's quality over quantity.
(09:11):
Focus on deepening a few key relationships rather
than spreading yourself too thin socially.
Schedule alone time.
Ensure you have regular periods of solitude to
recharge, especially if you're an introvert.
But even if you're an extrovert, that's necessary
too.
And join communities.
Engage in community activities or groups that align
with your interests to foster a sense of
belonging.
(09:33):
And now we're on to emotional space.
Everybody's favorite space.
Emotional space is our capacity to experience, process,
and manage our emotions.
It's about having the time and mental resources
to deal with emotional experiences constructively.
I have a three-year-old.
I don't remember what emotional space is.
(09:53):
I mean, let's just take a break for
a second.
So just having a three-year-old means
that I have lack of physical space because
I'm constantly being climbed on.
I have lack of mental space because I'm
constantly being asked questions or talked to.
And emotional space.
I sometimes have a real hard time regulating
my own emotions because I'm sleep deprived because
(10:15):
he's been potty training and now he's getting
up really early in the morning and going
to bed late at night because he's three.
So yeah, that's probably why I'm talking about
space.
When we lack emotional space, often due to
overwhelming responsibilities or constant demands, we struggle to
process our feelings effectively.
(10:36):
The absence of emotional space as outlined by
James Gross in his 2002 study can have
a significant impact on both mental and physical
well-being.
Gross mentions some individuals are likely to use
maladaptive emotion regulation strategies, such as rumination or
suppression, which can exacerbate negative emotions.
These approaches are often used when we lack
(10:56):
emotional space.
Not only do they fail to address the
root of the problem, they can also make
things worse by intensifying negative feelings.
Plus, the fallout from poor emotional regulation isn't
just short-term.
It can lead to lasting issues for mental
and physical health.
But having an excess of emotional space can
also pose significant challenges to our well-being.
(11:16):
When there's an abundance of emotional space, it
can lead to rumination, a process where we
dwell excessively on our thoughts and emotions.
Susan Nolan Hoeksema in her book, The Power
of Women, Harness Your Unique Strengths at Home,
at Work, and in Your Community, discusses how
this constant mental rehearsal of distressing thoughts and
feelings can exacerbate negative emotions and contribute to
(11:37):
a downward spiral of mood.
Moreover, having too much emotional space may also
lead to feelings of emptiness or disconnection as
individuals may struggle to engage with their emotions
in a meaningful way.
This can hinder the development of emotional intelligence
and resilience and make it more difficult to
navigate life's challenges effectively.
So here's some tips to handle emotional space.
(12:00):
Expressive writing.
Any kind of expressive writing is going to
be helpful.
Journaling, brain dumping, list making, word association.
It provides an outlet for expressing suppressed emotions
and helps break the cycle of rumination.
Set aside some worry time.
Designate specific times during the day to address
worries or concerns.
This will allow you to continue ruminating, but
(12:22):
to a limited period rather than letting it
consume your entire day.
Challenge your negative thoughts.
Reframing is a fantastic exercise.
It's difficult, but if you can transform negative
into positive and keep practicing it over time,
you're going to do it more automatically.
Now we're going to go into spiritual space
(12:43):
that involves our beliefs, values, and the search
for meaning and purpose in life.
It's a deeply personal realm that can provide
comfort, guidance, and strength.
The absence of spiritual space where individuals lack
opportunities for reflection, connection, and transcendence can lead
to a sense of inner emptiness and existential
dissatisfaction.
Without the space to explore your spiritual beliefs,
(13:04):
values, and experiences, you may struggle to find
meaning and purpose in your life.
This can contribute to feelings of disconnection from
yourself, others, and the world at large and
foster a sense of spiritual malaise.
Additionally, without spiritual space, you may rely solely
on external sources for validation and fulfillment, leading
to a constant pursuit of material possessions or
fleeting pleasures that fail to satisfy deeper existential
(13:26):
needs.
Overall, the lack of spiritual space can hinder
personal growth, emotional well-being, and a sense
of inner peace.
We've all been there one time or another,
probably more so as agnostics and nuns, but
having an excess of spiritual space where individuals
become overly preoccupied with spiritual practices or beliefs
(13:47):
to the exclusion of other aspects of life
can also have negative consequences.
While spirituality can provide a sense of meaning
and connection, an excessive focus on spiritual pursuits
may lead to neglect of other important areas
such as your relationships, work, and physical health.
This imbalance can result in feelings of isolation
as individuals may prioritize solitary spiritual practices over
(14:08):
social interaction and community engagement.
Additionally, an overemphasis on spiritual pursuits can potentially
foster a sense of judgment towards those who
do not share similar beliefs, leading to division
and conflict rather than unity and compassion.
We don't have that here at Numbuh Curious,
right?
We don't have a sense of superiority or
judgment, but there are a lot of people
(14:28):
in the world who will.
You know, I do a lot of yoga.
I have all these crystals.
There are people out there, and maybe it's
you.
I know I've done it too.
When I had my business Hidden Sage years
ago, I fell into this trap of, oh,
these people need me.
(14:49):
No, nobody needs me.
I'm here to help.
And it was gross.
And as soon as it was gross, I
shut it down.
Honestly, I shut my business down right as
it was ramping up because I didn't like
that icky feeling.
No, no, no.
So here are some tips to deal with
spiritual space.
Daily reflection.
Set aside time each day for reflection or
(15:09):
practices that resonate with you.
Integrate your values and your daily actions, and
that will help create a cohesive sense of
purpose.
Engage with spiritual or philosophical communities that support
your search for meaning, whether they're in person,
whether it's online like here at Numbuh Curious.
Being involved and feeling a sense of belonging
does help with managing your spiritual space.
(15:32):
And lastly, let's explore the concept of safe
spaces.
Safe spaces are environments where individuals feel secure,
respected, and free to express themselves without fear
of judgment or harm.
Safe spaces offer refuge from external pressures and
a supportive environment for personal growth and healing.
For marginalized groups, safe spaces are crucial, providing
protection from discrimination and providing a sense of
(15:54):
belonging.
Ibram X.
Kendi, in his book, How to Be an
Antiracist, highlights the importance of such spaces in
fostering inclusivity and understanding.
Kendi emphasizes the critical need for safe spaces
as essential components of antiracist practice, particularly for
marginalized groups.
These environments serve as platforms where individuals can
engage in honest and open dialogue about race,
(16:14):
identity, and systemic oppression without fear of judgment
or retaliation.
By providing platforms for individuals to share their
experiences, perspectives, and challenges, safe spaces empower communities
to confront and challenge oppressive systems, fostering genuine
equity and justice.
In The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg
Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt express concerns about the
(16:36):
proliferation of safe spaces on college campuses and
their potential impact on intellectual freedom and discourse.
They argue that while safe spaces can provide
valuable support for marginalized groups and individuals dealing
with trauma, they may inadvertently contribute to a
culture of fragility where students are shielded from
uncomfortable or challenging ideas.
The authors caution against creating an environment where
students are insulated from viewpoints that differ from
(16:56):
their own as this can inhibit critical thinking
and resilience.
Lukianoff and Haidt emphasize the need for universities
to prioritize both psychological safety and intellectual freedom,
creating environments where students feel empowered to engage
with a wide range of perspectives, even those
that may be controversial or uncomfortable.
By striking this balance, Lukianoff and Haidt argue
that universities can promote a culture of open
(17:18):
inquiry and resilience while still providing support for
students.
So tips on creating safe spaces.
Establish boundaries.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
That's in any space, right?
A boundary defines a space.
Clearly define the purpose and limits of your
safe space to maintain its integrity.
Encourage open dialogue.
(17:38):
Foster an environment where respectful and constructive discussions
can take place and be inclusive.
Ensure that your safe space is welcoming and
supportive for all participants.
Each type of space influences our well-being
in profound ways from our stress levels to
our sense of belonging and purpose.
And as we've explored the benefits and challenges
associated with different forms of space, it's clear
that finding the right balance is key to
(17:59):
our overall health and happiness.
Are you ready to prioritize space in your
life?
By focusing on our physical, mental, social, emotional,
and spiritual spaces, that's a lot of them,
we can enhance our overall well-being.
You clutter your surroundings, set mental boundaries, nurture
deep relationships, and engage in spiritual practices that
(18:20):
resonate with you.
Recognize the importance of creating safe spaces to
foster inclusivity, understanding, and social justice.
And by embracing the concept of space in
its various dimensions and advocating for safe and
supportive environments, we can create a world where
everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
So let's take action to cultivate spaces that
nourish our minds, bodies, and spirits and empower
(18:42):
others to do the same.
Until next time.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Welcome to the None But Curious podcast.
We're all about finding inspiration in life's uncertainties.
Whether you're still figuring things out, questioning your
beliefs, or just curious about the world, come
hang out with us as we celebrate the
beauty of not having all the answers.
(00:23):
Hey there!
Have you subscribed to the None But Curious
podcast yet?
Are you getting the monthly newsletter that sends
blogs, podcast episodes, and additional resources of the
month straight to your inbox?
Okay, pause this really quick and visit nonebutcurious
.org and go subscribe to both.
Oh, and if you like extra credit, join
(00:44):
our None But Curious Facebook community for more
content and conversation.
When we talk about space, it's easy to
think of the physical realm, the rooms we
live in, the places we go.
But space is so much more than just
physical.
It encompasses our mental clarity, our emotional balance,
our social interactions, and even our spiritual well
-being.
Each type of space plays a crucial role
(01:05):
in how we function and feel.
Today we'll discuss the different types of space
and how too much or too little of
each can impact us.
We'll explore the benefits and challenges of finding
the right balance and the importance of creating
safe spaces.
So let's start with physical space.
Physical space is the tangible environment around us,
our homes, workplaces, parks, and public areas.
(01:26):
It's the most straightforward form of space but
has profound effects on our well-being.
And admittedly, this is the whole reason I
am doing this podcast episode.
I have been feeling like I have lacked
personal physical space in my home for a
while.
And so about a year ago now or
(01:48):
so, my husband made a room for me
down in the basement that I could disappear
to.
And it's my office, it's my creative space,
what have you.
And it was getting cluttered and crowded.
So I went downstairs and I rearranged it.
And it felt so much better.
(02:08):
It felt so much better that my daughter
decided that that's where she was going to
camp out for the next 12 hours.
And that's great.
I want really cool spaces for my kids
to hang out, my family to hang out.
But I was really aggravated about not having
a space of my own.
And so here we are talking about space
(02:29):
because it's really important.
Living or working in cramped spaces can significantly
elevate stress levels manifesting as heightened aggression and
mental fatigue.
Gary Evans' 2003 research highlights that overcrowded environments
not only impinge on our sense of privacy,
but also elevate physiological stress markers such as
cortisol levels.
And sustained high cortisol can lead to a
(02:51):
range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, and
cardiovascular diseases.
Furthermore, a 2021 study by Pengcheng et al.
reinforced these conclusions by revealing a strong association
between depression and Chinese household overcrowding.
Excessive space in living environments can significantly impact
mental health as well by fostering feelings of
(03:11):
isolation and loneliness.
Individuals living in overly large homes or remote
areas often miss out on spontaneous social interactions
that are essential for maintaining a sense of
community and belonging.
For example, those in sprawling suburban neighborhoods may
have fewer opportunities for casual encounters with neighbors,
leading to a diminished sense of social support.
(03:32):
Similarly, rural residents may face geographical barriers that
limit their access to social activities and services,
exacerbating feelings of isolation.
The lack of regular meaningful human connections can
increase the risk of depression and anxiety.
Additionally, large impersonal spaces within a home can
feel empty and unwelcoming, further contributing to a
(03:54):
sense of solitude.
While ample space may provide physical comfort, too
much can create a psychological void.
So here's some practical tips in managing physical
space.
Declutter regularly.
This reduces stress and increases a sense of
control over your environment, whether your space is
big or small.
Maximize natural light.
(04:15):
Open curtains.
Use mirrors.
Just get as much natural light as possible
in the house or the space to boost
your mood and help make a space feel
larger than it is.
In larger spaces, create your own cozy space.
Designate smaller areas within large rooms where you
can relax and feel comfortable.
(04:35):
Set up personal nooks for reading, meditating, or
other quiet activities as well.
Now, let's talk about mental space.
This refers to the cognitive bandwidth we have
to process information, make decisions, and engage in
creative or analytical thinking.
Our mental space is influenced by both external
stimuli and internal thoughts.
Mental clutter, much like a messy desk, fills
(04:56):
your mind with a jumble of thoughts and
worries, making it really hard to focus.
It's like trying to find a pen in
a cluttered drawer.
You know it's there somewhere, but it's buried
under a heap of other stuff.
This clutter can leave you feeling stressed out
and overwhelmed, making it tough to make decisions
or even come up with new ideas.
Imagine you're trying to work on a project,
but your mind keeps wandering to a million
(05:17):
other things you need to do.
It's frustrating and exhausting, right?
This cognitive overload doesn't just affect your ability
to focus.
It can also take a toll on your
mental health.
When your brain is constantly bombarded with information
and distractions, it struggles to filter out what's
important and what's not.
This can lead to heightened levels of stress
and anxiety as you try to keep up
(05:38):
with everything.
It's like having too many tabs open on
your computer.
All those background processes slow down your system
and drain your energy.
When you're not bombarded with thoughts and distractions,
what a blissful space to be in, your
mind gets a chance to wander and explore
new ideas.
In Sandy Mann's book, The Science of Boredom,
she reveals that boredom is more than just
(05:59):
a moment of inactivity.
It's a crucial pause in our hyper-stimulated
lives.
Mann suggests that boredom is not simply a
lack of external stimuli, but rather a challenge
to engage with your internal thoughts.
It sparks creative thinking, encouraging out-of-the
-box ideas, and inventive problem solving.
So instead of viewing boredom as a hindrance,
Mann encourages us to embrace it as a
(06:19):
gateway to inspiration and insight.
Moments of boredom offer a unique opportunity for
self-reflection, enabling each of us to delve
deep into our thoughts and emotions and gain
invaluable insight into ourselves.
So here's some practical tips for managing your
mental space.
Set boundaries.
Allocate specific times for work, play, and rest
(06:40):
to avoid mental overload and ensure you have
time to recharge.
This is crucial.
Setting boundaries is a big deal, and it's
really hard.
I know.
Try it.
Just don't even try, just do.
Don't try, just do.
Set boundaries.
Take a digital detox.
Take regular breaks from your devices to clear
your mind and reduce information overload.
(07:01):
Even a couple hours break is a magnificent
weight off of your shoulders.
Engage in creative activities.
Find hobbies or creative projects that stimulate your
mind and provide a break from routine tasks.
Try something new.
And since one of the cures for boredom
is catching up or hanging out with friends,
let's talk about social space now.
The network of relationships and interactions within which
(07:23):
we operate.
This includes our family, our friends, our work
colleagues, and community members.
Healthy social spaces provide support, belonging, and opportunities
for meaningful interactions.
A lack of social space can lead to
loneliness, which has been linked to increased risks
of depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues
like cardiovascular disease.
Julianne Holt-Lundstad's research in 2015 highlighted that
(07:46):
social isolation and loneliness, even perceived, can increase
the risk of premature death by up to
30%.
Holt-Lundstad stated, loneliness and social isolation are
as harmful to our health as smoking 15
cigarettes a day.
On the other hand, Shiro Gabriel, professor of
psychology at University at Buffalo, highlights the delicate
balance introverts maintain to avoid social exhaustion and
(08:10):
burnout.
Introverts need meaningful social connections that are less
frequent, but deeply personal to recharge.
Gabriel explains that while introverts thrive on solitude,
completely retreating can lead to loneliness and exacerbate
burnout.
Introverts need space to manage their social interactions
in a way that supports their mental well
-being.
This approach helps prevent the social exhaustion and
(08:30):
burnout that can result from either excessive social
interaction or prolonged isolation.
Additionally, introverts may be susceptible to what's called
the loneliness loop, a cycle where a lack
of social interaction can lead to increased feelings
of loneliness, causing further withdrawal and isolation.
And this loop can be particularly challenging for
introverts who, despite their comfort with being alone,
(08:51):
still require a certain level of deep meaningful
social engagement to feel connected.
Breaking this loop involves recognizing the need for
balance between solitude and socializing and taking proactive
steps to cultivate relationships that fulfill their need
for meaningful connection.
So here's some practical tips to manage your
social space.
Remember, it's quality over quantity.
(09:11):
Focus on deepening a few key relationships rather
than spreading yourself too thin socially.
Schedule alone time.
Ensure you have regular periods of solitude to
recharge, especially if you're an introvert.
But even if you're an extrovert, that's necessary
too.
And join communities.
Engage in community activities or groups that align
with your interests to foster a sense of
belonging.
(09:33):
And now we're on to emotional space.
Everybody's favorite space.
Emotional space is our capacity to experience, process,
and manage our emotions.
It's about having the time and mental resources
to deal with emotional experiences constructively.
I have a three-year-old.
I don't remember what emotional space is.
(09:53):
I mean, let's just take a break for
a second.
So just having a three-year-old means
that I have lack of physical space because
I'm constantly being climbed on.
I have lack of mental space because I'm
constantly being asked questions or talked to.
And emotional space.
I sometimes have a real hard time regulating
my own emotions because I'm sleep deprived because
(10:15):
he's been potty training and now he's getting
up really early in the morning and going
to bed late at night because he's three.
So yeah, that's probably why I'm talking about
space.
When we lack emotional space, often due to
overwhelming responsibilities or constant demands, we struggle to
process our feelings effectively.
(10:36):
The absence of emotional space as outlined by
James Gross in his 2002 study can have
a significant impact on both mental and physical
well-being.
Gross mentions some individuals are likely to use
maladaptive emotion regulation strategies, such as rumination or
suppression, which can exacerbate negative emotions.
These approaches are often used when we lack
(10:56):
emotional space.
Not only do they fail to address the
root of the problem, they can also make
things worse by intensifying negative feelings.
Plus, the fallout from poor emotional regulation isn't
just short-term.
It can lead to lasting issues for mental
and physical health.
But having an excess of emotional space can
also pose significant challenges to our well-being.
(11:16):
When there's an abundance of emotional space, it
can lead to rumination, a process where we
dwell excessively on our thoughts and emotions.
Susan Nolan Hoeksema in her book, The Power
of Women, Harness Your Unique Strengths at Home,
at Work, and in Your Community, discusses how
this constant mental rehearsal of distressing thoughts and
feelings can exacerbate negative emotions and contribute to
(11:37):
a downward spiral of mood.
Moreover, having too much emotional space may also
lead to feelings of emptiness or disconnection as
individuals may struggle to engage with their emotions
in a meaningful way.
This can hinder the development of emotional intelligence
and resilience and make it more difficult to
navigate life's challenges effectively.
So here's some tips to handle emotional space.
(12:00):
Expressive writing.
Any kind of expressive writing is going to
be helpful.
Journaling, brain dumping, list making, word association.
It provides an outlet for expressing suppressed emotions
and helps break the cycle of rumination.
Set aside some worry time.
Designate specific times during the day to address
worries or concerns.
This will allow you to continue ruminating, but
(12:22):
to a limited period rather than letting it
consume your entire day.
Challenge your negative thoughts.
Reframing is a fantastic exercise.
It's difficult, but if you can transform negative
into positive and keep practicing it over time,
you're going to do it more automatically.
Now we're going to go into spiritual space
(12:43):
that involves our beliefs, values, and the search
for meaning and purpose in life.
It's a deeply personal realm that can provide
comfort, guidance, and strength.
The absence of spiritual space where individuals lack
opportunities for reflection, connection, and transcendence can lead
to a sense of inner emptiness and existential
dissatisfaction.
Without the space to explore your spiritual beliefs,
(13:04):
values, and experiences, you may struggle to find
meaning and purpose in your life.
This can contribute to feelings of disconnection from
yourself, others, and the world at large and
foster a sense of spiritual malaise.
Additionally, without spiritual space, you may rely solely
on external sources for validation and fulfillment, leading
to a constant pursuit of material possessions or
fleeting pleasures that fail to satisfy deeper existential
(13:26):
needs.
Overall, the lack of spiritual space can hinder
personal growth, emotional well-being, and a sense
of inner peace.
We've all been there one time or another,
probably more so as agnostics and nuns, but
having an excess of spiritual space where individuals
become overly preoccupied with spiritual practices or beliefs
(13:47):
to the exclusion of other aspects of life
can also have negative consequences.
While spirituality can provide a sense of meaning
and connection, an excessive focus on spiritual pursuits
may lead to neglect of other important areas
such as your relationships, work, and physical health.
This imbalance can result in feelings of isolation
as individuals may prioritize solitary spiritual practices over
(14:08):
social interaction and community engagement.
Additionally, an overemphasis on spiritual pursuits can potentially
foster a sense of judgment towards those who
do not share similar beliefs, leading to division
and conflict rather than unity and compassion.
We don't have that here at Numbuh Curious,
right?
We don't have a sense of superiority or
judgment, but there are a lot of people
(14:28):
in the world who will.
You know, I do a lot of yoga.
I have all these crystals.
There are people out there, and maybe it's
you.
I know I've done it too.
When I had my business Hidden Sage years
ago, I fell into this trap of, oh,
these people need me.
(14:49):
No, nobody needs me.
I'm here to help.
And it was gross.
And as soon as it was gross, I
shut it down.
Honestly, I shut my business down right as
it was ramping up because I didn't like
that icky feeling.
No, no, no.
So here are some tips to deal with
spiritual space.
Daily reflection.
Set aside time each day for reflection or
(15:09):
practices that resonate with you.
Integrate your values and your daily actions, and
that will help create a cohesive sense of
purpose.
Engage with spiritual or philosophical communities that support
your search for meaning, whether they're in person,
whether it's online like here at Numbuh Curious.
Being involved and feeling a sense of belonging
does help with managing your spiritual space.
(15:32):
And lastly, let's explore the concept of safe
spaces.
Safe spaces are environments where individuals feel secure,
respected, and free to express themselves without fear
of judgment or harm.
Safe spaces offer refuge from external pressures and
a supportive environment for personal growth and healing.
For marginalized groups, safe spaces are crucial, providing
protection from discrimination and providing a sense of
(15:54):
belonging.
Ibram X.
Kendi, in his book, How to Be an
Antiracist, highlights the importance of such spaces in
fostering inclusivity and understanding.
Kendi emphasizes the critical need for safe spaces
as essential components of antiracist practice, particularly for
marginalized groups.
These environments serve as platforms where individuals can
engage in honest and open dialogue about race,
(16:14):
identity, and systemic oppression without fear of judgment
or retaliation.
By providing platforms for individuals to share their
experiences, perspectives, and challenges, safe spaces empower communities
to confront and challenge oppressive systems, fostering genuine
equity and justice.
In The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg
Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt express concerns about the
(16:36):
proliferation of safe spaces on college campuses and
their potential impact on intellectual freedom and discourse.
They argue that while safe spaces can provide
valuable support for marginalized groups and individuals dealing
with trauma, they may inadvertently contribute to a
culture of fragility where students are shielded from
uncomfortable or challenging ideas.
The authors caution against creating an environment where
students are insulated from viewpoints that differ from
(16:56):
their own as this can inhibit critical thinking
and resilience.
Lukianoff and Haidt emphasize the need for universities
to prioritize both psychological safety and intellectual freedom,
creating environments where students feel empowered to engage
with a wide range of perspectives, even those
that may be controversial or uncomfortable.
By striking this balance, Lukianoff and Haidt argue
that universities can promote a culture of open
(17:18):
inquiry and resilience while still providing support for
students.
So tips on creating safe spaces.
Establish boundaries.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
That's in any space, right?
A boundary defines a space.
Clearly define the purpose and limits of your
safe space to maintain its integrity.
Encourage open dialogue.
(17:38):
Foster an environment where respectful and constructive discussions
can take place and be inclusive.
Ensure that your safe space is welcoming and
supportive for all participants.
Each type of space influences our well-being
in profound ways from our stress levels to
our sense of belonging and purpose.
And as we've explored the benefits and challenges
associated with different forms of space, it's clear
that finding the right balance is key to
(17:59):
our overall health and happiness.
Are you ready to prioritize space in your
life?
By focusing on our physical, mental, social, emotional,
and spiritual spaces, that's a lot of them,
we can enhance our overall well-being.
You clutter your surroundings, set mental boundaries, nurture
deep relationships, and engage in spiritual practices that
(18:20):
resonate with you.
Recognize the importance of creating safe spaces to
foster inclusivity, understanding, and social justice.
And by embracing the concept of space in
its various dimensions and advocating for safe and
supportive environments, we can create a world where
everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
So let's take action to cultivate spaces that
nourish our minds, bodies, and spirits and empower
(18:42):
others to do the same.
Until next time.
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