The Power of Vulnerability

In this episode, Candy explores the concept of vulnerability and how it can lead to personal growth, deeper connections, and greater authenticity. 

What You'll Learn:

Understanding Vulnerability: Discover why vulnerability can be challenging and how it’s a fundamental part of the human experience. Learn to embrace it as a path to personal growth without relying on spiritual or religious beliefs.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction: Find out how MBSR can help you manage vulnerability by encouraging present-moment awareness and emotional resilience.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Learn practical CBT techniques to challenge and reframe negative beliefs about vulnerability, making it easier to embrace emotional risks.

Gradual Exposure: Discover how taking small emotional risks over time can increase your tolerance for vulnerability and build confidence.

Cultivating Self-Compassion: Learn how treating yourself with kindness during vulnerable moments can shift your perspective from weakness to a normal part of the human experience.

Building Trust: Explore the importance of trust in relationships and how sharing personal aspects of yourself can deepen connections with others.

Creative Expression: See how engaging in creative projects can be a powerful way to practice vulnerability and invite feedback.

Setting Boundaries: Understand how clear boundaries and open communication can help manage emotional discomfort and vulnerability.

Emotional Agility: Discover how to use emotions as a guide for living a more fulfilling life through emotional agility.

Join us as we explore these practical methods and insights to help you embrace vulnerability, connect more deeply, and navigate life’s uncertainties with courage and self-awareness.

Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more episodes on embracing life's uncertainties and finding inspiration in the unknown!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Welcome to the None But Curious podcast.
We're all about finding inspiration in life's uncertainties.
Whether you're still figuring things out, questioning your
beliefs, or just curious about the world, come
hang out with us as we celebrate the
beauty of not having all the answers.

(00:21):
Vulnerability.
It's a word that tends to stir up
a mix of emotions.
For many, the mere idea of being vulnerable
can feel overwhelming.
It exposes us to uncertainty, emotional risk, and
the potential of rejection.
Yet despite all the discomfort that comes with
it, vulnerability holds the power to unlock deeper
connections, trust, and personal growth.

(00:43):
How do we approach vulnerability if we don't
lean on religious or spiritual beliefs for comfort?
Vulnerability is a fundamental part of the human
experience.
It's not about putting faith in a higher
power to protect us when we open up.
It's about facing the raw realities of life
as they are.
Vulnerability then becomes an exploration of our own
humanity, an exploration that helps us grow from

(01:05):
the inside out.
In this episode, we'll dive into why vulnerability
can feel so difficult, look at some practical
ways to embrace it, and explore activities that
can help us practice being vulnerable.
In a world where not everyone subscribes to
a specific spiritual or religious belief system, vulnerability
takes on a more grounded meaning.

(01:26):
It's not about destiny or divine intervention.
It's about facing the truth that life is
full of uncertainty and emotional exposure is part
of it.
For those who identify as agnostic, meaning they
neither fully embrace nor reject the existence of
a higher power, vulnerability is a shared human
experience.
It's about being honest with ourselves and others
about what we feel and what we fear

(01:47):
without expecting the universe to provide a safety
net.
Similarly, being a spiritual nun, someone who doesn't
subscribe to any particular spiritual or religious beliefs,
often means confronting life's uncertainties with a sense
of personal responsibility and inner strength.
Both perspectives involve navigating our doubts and insecurities
with openness and authenticity, drawing on our own

(02:09):
resources to find meaning and resilience.
This perspective can be empowering because it puts
the focus on what we can control, our
responses to life's unpredictability.
While vulnerability can be scary, it's a normal,
inevitable part of being alive.
Whether we're worried about a relationship, uncertain about
our career, or nervous about sharing our thoughts,

(02:31):
vulnerability is something we all face.
Being vulnerable isn't exactly a walk in the
park.
It's hard for a reason.
Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves from
getting hurt, rejected, or judged.
Vulnerability feels risky because it forces us to
step out from behind the safety of our
emotional walls.
Whether we're afraid of failing, being criticized, or

(02:53):
showing weakness, these fears can keep us from
taking emotional risks or being our true selves.
This fear makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.
Our ancestors needed to stay guarded to survive
in the face of actual threats.
These days, this instinct can prevent us from
forming real connections with others and experiencing personal
growth.

(03:13):
There's no guarantee that things will go perfectly
when we let ourselves be vulnerable.
That's where the beauty lies.
Choosing vulnerability in the face of uncertainty can
lead to authenticity and deeper relationships.
And if vulnerability is such a fundamental part
of being human, how do we go about
accepting it?
Here are some practical methods to help us

(03:34):
face vulnerability head-on.
1.
Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness.
Mindfulness is all about being present with your
emotions and thoughts without judging them.
It can help us notice what we're feeling
when vulnerability creeps in, whether it's anxiety, fear,
or self-doubt.
By becoming more self-aware, we can learn
to recognize these feelings without trying to push

(03:55):
them away.
Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, or
MBSR, is a well-known secular approach to
mindfulness.
MBSR blends mindfulness, meditation, and yoga to help
us become more aware of the present moment.
It teaches us to observe our thoughts and
feelings without judgment, encouraging us to stay with

(04:15):
our emotions rather than avoid them.
This approach is especially helpful for handling vulnerability,
as it allows us to fully experience our
emotions without letting them take over or define
who we are.
By practicing mindfulness, we learn that emotions are
fleeting, and we don't need to be defined
by our vulnerable moments.
Instead, we can approach these experiences with acceptance

(04:37):
and curiosity, which helps us manage them better
and build greater emotional resilience.
So try this.
Spend 10 to 15 minutes each day practicing
mindfulness.
Find a quiet place, sit down, and focus
on your breathing.
When thoughts or feelings of vulnerability come up,
simply observe them without trying to change or
push them away.
Over time, this practice helps us become more

(04:59):
comfortable with uncomfortable emotions like vulnerability.
2.
Challenging Negative Beliefs with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Cognitive
behavioral therapy, or CBT, is an incredibly effective
method for tackling vulnerability, especially when it's rooted
in unhelpful thoughts.
CBT operates on the idea that our thoughts

(05:20):
affect our emotions and behaviors.
If we believe that being vulnerable makes us
weak or that opening up will lead to
rejection, we're more likely to avoid being vulnerable.
A study from 2020 shows that CBT can
reduce social anxiety by helping people change their
thoughts about vulnerability.
By reframing vulnerability as a strength rather than
a weakness, it becomes easier to embrace it.

(05:41):
Try this.
Start a journal and write about situations where
you felt vulnerable.
List the automatic thoughts you had at that
moment and then challenge them.
For instance, if you thought, if I ask
for help, people will think I'm incompetent, ask
yourself, is that really true?
Doing this regularly can help change how you
perceive vulnerability.
Now, I did look to see if there
was some sort of reframing app on the

(06:04):
phone, and I couldn't find one.
So I opted to test ChatGPT.
Whatever your feelings about ChatGPT are, I invite
you to take some of your critical self
-thoughts and ask to reframe them in a
positive manner.
Kind of interesting what it spits out.
3.

(06:24):
Gradually exposing yourself to vulnerability.
Like many fears, vulnerability can be eased through
gradual exposure.
By taking small emotional risks over time, we
can slowly increase our tolerance for vulnerability.
This method is particularly helpful for people who
struggle with social anxiety or fear of rejection.
Taking little steps like sharing a personal story

(06:44):
with a friend or admitting when you've made
a mistake can build your confidence over time.
Try this vulnerability challenge.
Write down a list of small manageable acts
of vulnerability, like sharing a personal fear with
a close friend or asking for feedback on
something you've been working on.
Other suggestions include discussing a mistake you made,
admitting when you don't know something, or expressing

(07:07):
that you need a break.
Try doing one of these each week.
Notice how you feel afterward.
Was it as scary as you thought or
did the outcome surprise you?
4.
Cultivating self-compassion.
Self-compassion is all about treating yourself with
kindness, especially when you're feeling vulnerable or inadequate.
Often, we're much harder on ourselves than we

(07:27):
are on others.
Practicing self-compassion can help us embrace vulnerability
without the harsh self-judgment that often comes
with it.
By offering yourself the same understanding you'd a
close friend, you can start to shift the
way you think about vulnerability.
It becomes less about exposing your weaknesses and
more about being human.
Try this.

(07:48):
The next time you're feeling vulnerable, take a
moment to pause, acknowledge that you're going through
a tough time, and remind yourself it's okay
to feel this way.
You can use a simple self-compassion mantra
like, this is a tough moment, but it's
part of being human.
May I be kind to myself in this
moment?
Practicing this can help change the way you
respond to vulnerability.

(08:10):
5.
Building trust in relationships.
Vulnerability shows up most often in our relationships,
whether they're romantic, familial, or platonic.
Building trust with others allows us to feel
safe enough to open up and be vulnerable.
Trust takes time, and it's built through consistent
acts of honesty and openness.
A 2017 study found that multiple vulnerability is

(08:32):
key to building deep, meaningful connections.
Sharing personal aspects of ourselves with someone else
helps foster a closeness that goes beyond surface
-level relationships.
Try this.
Gather a group of close friends or family
members and create a sharing circle.
Each person takes a turn sharing something vulnerable,
whether it's a recent fear, personal challenge, or

(08:54):
a mistake.
The goal is to listen and share without
judgment.
It's a great way to practice being open
and to see that vulnerability is something we
all experience.
We all experience.
6.
Expressing yourself creatively.
Creative expression is another way to practice vulnerability
in a low-stakes environment.
When we create, whether through writing, painting, or

(09:16):
music, we expose a part of ourselves.
Sharing that creation with others invites feedback and
can feel risky, but it's also a powerful
way to vulnerability.
Elizabeth Gilbert, best known for her bestseller Eat,
Pray, Love, delves into the complexities of the
creative process in her book Big Magic.
Drawing from her own experiences and conversations with

(09:37):
other authors and artists, Gilbert explores subjects including
facing fear, embracing curiosity, and the significance of
inspiration.
She makes the case that although fear is
a normal component of creativity, it shouldn't stop
us from being creative.
Gilbert views curiosity as a key component of
creativity and encourages readers to follow their curiosity
and maintain an open mind.

(09:59):
She also talks about how inspiration can come
at any time and stresses the value of
always showing up and working hard, regardless of
how or when inspiration strikes.
Try this.
Pick a creative project you're passionate about.
Maybe write a poem, paint a picture, or
even record a song.
Then share it with someone else, even if
it doesn't feel perfect.

(10:21):
The goal is to practice letting yourself be
seen through your work and invite feedback as
a tool for growth, not judgment.
Seven, setting boundaries and engaging in open communication.
Nedra Glover-Tawwab is a therapist, speaker, and
best-selling author specializing in boundary setting, emotional
health, and fostering healthy relationships.

(10:41):
Her work focuses on helping individuals manage vulnerability
and emotional discomfort by encouraging open communication and
establishing clear boundaries.
Tawwab believes that emotional struggles like anxiety and
trauma are inevitable parts of life, but through
boundary setting and direct conversation, people can better
cope with these challenges.

(11:02):
Try this.
Create a boundary statement card by writing a
clear specific boundary on an index card or
sticky note using I statements.
For example, write, I need quiet time from
10 p.m. to 6 a.m. for
sleep.
Please avoid calling or texting during these hours.
Place the card in a visible spot like
your desk or your refrigerator to remind yourself

(11:22):
of the boundary.
Practice reading it out loud to get comfortable
expressing it.
Share it with a trusted friend for support,
and then use it when you need it
to set the boundary in real situations.
Also, on her website, which I will give
in our Facebook community, she has a feeling
identification worksheet that you can download.
It talks about different feelings and asks you

(11:45):
when you were overwhelmed, frustrated, embarrassed, and then
it'll ask you questions like, what feeling do
you feel the most often?
What feeling is the most difficult for you
to feel?
One little worksheet, but it's a powerful tool.
Eight, developing emotional agility.
Susan David is a respected psychologist and author
recognized for her innovative research on emotional intelligence

(12:07):
and resilience.
As a faculty member at Harvard Medical School
and co-founder of the Institute of Coaching
at McLean Hospital, she helps people tackle life
challenges with emotional agility.
Throughout her TED Talk, Susan David stresses the
value of emotional agility or the ability to
acknowledge and accept our feelings without allowing them
to rule us.
David suggests using emotions as a guide to

(12:29):
live truly and make deliberate, adaptable decisions rather
than trying to avoid discomfort.
By confronting challenges with openness and clarity, this
approach helps build resilience and leads to a
more fulfilling and purposeful life.
Try this, the emotion and action reflection exercise.
This will help you link your emotional experiences
with practical actions for better clarity and control.

(12:51):
So start by finding a quiet place, if
possible, where you can focus and have a
notebook ready.
Think about a recent situation that triggered a
strong emotion, such as frustration or joy.
Write down the specific emotion you felt and
what triggered it.
Reflect on how you responded.
Did your actions align with your values?
Then consider other ways you could have reacted

(13:12):
and choose one to implement.
Finally, after using your new approach, reflect on
how it affected your emotional state and the
situation.
So here's an example.
I like making lists.
So emotion, anxiety, trigger, unexpected work deadline, current
response, work late into the night, feeling overwhelmed

(13:33):
and stressed.
Alternative action, break the task into smaller parts
and tackle each part methodically.
Set specific times to work on each part
and take regular breaks.
Action plan, next time an unexpected deadline arises,
I will outline the task in the smaller
manageable parts, schedule specific times to work on
each part and ensure I take breaks to

(13:53):
manage stress.
Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but
rather a natural part of the human experience.
It calls for courage and self-awareness, allowing
us to embrace the uncertainties and emotional risks
that life presents.
Without leaning on religious or spiritual assurances, we're
left to explore vulnerability in its raw form,
trusting our own capacity to grow, connect and

(14:14):
navigate through life's complexities.
By practicing mindfulness, challenging negative beliefs, cultivating self
-compassion and nurturing trust in relationships, we can
become more comfortable with vulnerability, whether it's through
small acts of openness or creative expression, we
can gradually allow ourselves to be seen, heard
and understood, leading to more authentic relationships and

(14:35):
personal fulfillment.
Vulnerability is hard, especially in the climate we're
living in.
So choose one of these activities and let
us know which one you choose and try
in the None But Curious Facebook community.
Also, be sure to subscribe to this podcast
if you like it and leave a review

(14:55):
so that other people can find it.
Until next time, stay open, stay vulnerable.