HPV Vaccine: How close are we to wiping out cervical cancer?

Could a preteen vaccine wipe out a global cancer? In this episode, we examine the bold claim that cervical cancer could be eradicated in much of the world by the end of the century—thanks to the highly effective HPV vaccine. We unpack statistical modeling, microsimulations, and how Markov chains make good date-night conversation. We also explore why vaccine uptake has been uneven, how a splash of vinegar is helping screen for cancer in low-resource countries, and why HPV isn’t just a women’s issue—it now causes more cancer in men than in women. Plus: dangerously tight corsets, allegedly breast-squeezing nuns, and the Cosmo quote we wish we’d written ourselves.

Statistical topics:

• Cancer surveillance
• Markov models
• Microsimulation models
• Sensitivity analyses
• Passive surveillance
• Background rates
• Case reports and case series

Methodologic morals:

• “When reality is too complex to test, let microsimulations do the rest.”
• “Case reports are medicine's equivalent to see something, say something. They call for hard data, not hysteria.”

Citations:

• No cervical cancer cases detected in vaccinated women following HPV immunisation. University of Strathclyde, January 22, 2024.
• Palmer TJ, Kavanagh K, Cuschieri K, et al. Invasive cervical cancer incidence following bivalent human papillomavirus vaccination: a population-based observational study of age at immunization, dose, and deprivation. J Natl Cancer Inst. 2024;116:857-65.
• Rigoni-Stern. Statistical facts about cancers on which Doctor Rigoni-Stern based his contribution to the Surgeons' Subgroup of the IV Congress of the Italian Scientists on 23 September 1842. (translation). Stat Med. 1987;6:881-4.
• Gordan JA, Lenkei SC. Cleanliness, Continence, Constancy, and Cervical Carcinoma. Can Med Assoc J. 1964;90:1132.
• zur Hausen H. Condylomata acuminata and human genital cancer. Cancer Res. 1976;36:794.
• Walboomers JM, Jacobs MV, Manos MM, et al. Human papillomavirus is a necessary cause of invasive cervical cancer worldwide. J Pathol. 1999;189:12-9.
• Chesson HW, Dunne EF, Hariri S, et al. The estimated lifetime probability of acquiring human papillomavirus in the United States. Sex Transm Dis. 2014;41:660-4.
• Sullivan, Morgan. Let’s Have a Little Chat About the HPV Vaccine. Cosmopolitan. March 19, 2025.
• Burger EA, Kim JJ, Sy S, et al. Age of Acquiring Causal Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Infections: Leveraging Simulation Models to Explore the Natural History of HPV-induced Cervical Cancer. Clin Infect Dis. 2017;65:893-99.
• Canfell K. Towards the global elimination of cervical cancer. Papillomavirus Res. 2019;8:100170.
• World Health Organization. Global strategy to accelerate the elimination of cervical cancer as a public health problem. November 17, 2020.
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