How To Be Resilient From The Woman Who Bought The Company That Fired Her with Marie Cosgrove - 087 - Not Most People

Episode Transcript
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Bradley Roth (00:34):
hey everyone.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Not Most People podcast.
This is your host, Bradley, andthis is the show for those
allergic to mediocrity groupthink and following the status
quo.
And before we get into today'sfull length guest episode, I
have two or three real quickreminders for you guys.
As I've said before, if you area repeat listener or maybe

(00:56):
you're tuned in for the firsttime, This show is a value
exchange show.
So I create the show.
I don't run ads.
I pour a lot of time, energy,and even money into creating
this show.
And the only thing that I askfrom you guys is if you get
value outta the episodes, if youlearn something, if it makes you
think a new way and if itentertains you, just like you

(01:17):
share it with one person thatyou know, who you know will get
value out of it as well.
Cuz chances are if you enjoyedit, someone you know is
like-minded and will too.
So that's all I ask.
And then additionally, if youcould leave a review on Apple
Podcasts or a rating on Spotifythat really, really helps grow
the show and helps people findit, who otherwise might not.

(01:40):
And then additionally with notmost people, we got a lot going
on beyond the podcast.
And for all of that information,be sure to check all the links
and information in the shownotes.
But that's it for announcements.
Reminders.
We're gonna get right intotoday's episode.
I have a special guest, MarieCosgrove.
Marie, welcome to the show.

Dr. Marie Cosgrove (02:01):
Hi, I'm honored to be on your show.
Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, I'm excited.
I think that I'll get into herintro in just a second, but I
think this is gonna be one ofthose episodes that is kind of a
layup for me.
You know, like sometimes as apodcast host, you get guests and
you're like, all right, what arewe gonna talk about?
And that sort of thing.
But today, I feel like is gonnabe like, I'm somewhat familiar
with the backstory, and as akeynote speaker, they always

(02:26):
make great guests.
So, I'm really excited.
But a little bit about Marie,for those of you listening, she
is an award-winninginternational speaker, author,
business consultant,entrepreneur, and resilience
expert.
Marie was born into poverty,persevered through a tumultuous
upbringing and an abusivemarriage, and raised four
children on her own, whilestruggling to make her way in

(02:48):
the business world.
But through it all, shepersevered and ended up buying
the company that she waspreviously fired from.
Now she shares what she haslearned with audiences all over
the world.
and believes that we all haveunique talents that need to be
shared and that there's nothingtoo big to overcome.
So quite the resume.
But what I initially was reallyinterested in and what people

(03:13):
told me about was your story.
They were like, you gotta haveMaria on her story is
incredible.
And you know, I have a lot ofpeople with powerful stories on
this show, but from what I heardof yours it kind of stands out
in a unique way.
So could you, and again, I knowyou've probably done this a
thousand times, I'm sure youspeak about it, I heard it bits
of it on podcasts, but could youshare your backstory cuz it's

(03:35):
pretty extraordinary and I knowmy audience would love to hear
it kind of from the beginning ifyou can.

From the beginning.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I was born to a mentallydisabled single mom.
She was in a, a car accident.
She was traveling with herfamily to Mexico to a wedding.
And on the way over there it,they had a serious car accident
and her head was completelycrashed.
And so it was like 24 hoursbefore anybody stopped to rent

(04:03):
her aid.
People stopped, but they stoppedto loot and they stole
everything.
Wow.
So by the time my grandparentsgot to the hospital, it was 24
hours later, my mom had severebleeding in the brain and they
said that there was nothing theycould do.
And my grandmother said, well,why don't you do surgery to stop
the bleeding in the brain?

(04:24):
and the doctor says, we can't dosurgery.
You don't understand.
There's no one here who isqualified to do the surgery.
By the time someone comes infrom another hospital, she's
gonna be dead.
Or if she even makes it she'lldie on the operating table, or
she'll remain a vegetable therest of her life.
Well, my grandmother had.

(04:45):
Like, she had so much faith thatshe says you're gonna bring
someone in.
And she insisted.
And I know, like for me, likeyou, you meet a doctor, right?
You kind of like trust what theysay, right?
Mm-hmm.
a medical doctor.
I've got a PhD, but I, you know,I meet a medical doctor, you
kind of trust what they say andthat's what they say.
Most parents be like, what canwe do?
Nothing.
Right?
Well, my grandmother's faith wasunwavering and she insisted that

(05:08):
they bring someone, they broughtsomeone, they did the surgery.
My mom survived the surgery, butshe was in a coma.
And so several months passed andI detail all the details in my
book.
Greater Fortune, but severalmonths passed, nothing.
There's no sign of recovery.
So they're gonna pull the plugand my grandma says no.

(05:30):
Just, you know, just, just gimmesome more time.
And anyways, they ended uptaking her to the United States
while she was in a coma.
They hired, they rented a V orgot a van.
They hired a nurse.
They had to stop in Monterey,Mexico to stabilize her.
But then they, they, they wereable to do that.

(05:50):
And then they got to the UnitedStates and she was in a coma for
another month.
And the doctor says that therewas no sign of recovery.
They're going to pull the plugand I was, I actually, when I
wrote my book, I started doingthe research on this story
because I remember when I was alittle girl, I found these
newspaper clip clippings and itwas a car on the front page of a

(06:10):
newspaper car accident, bloodeverywhere.
It was like horrible.
And I asked my grandma about itand she just took it from me and
she's was very upset.
I never saw it again.
So I knew there, I knew therewas a newspaper article, so I
did a lot of research.
It took me a long time and Ifound the newspaper article and
it says in the article that theywere ready to arrest my

(06:32):
grandfather for involuntarymanslaughter.
Cause they just knew she wasgonna die.
When they wanted to unplug herand the, the priest was there to
give the last.
But anyways, in the UnitedStates, they said they're gonna
pull the plug.
And my girl was like, just gimmeone more day.
And the very next day, my momopened her eyes and she had to
learn how to walk, talk, and howto do all over everything, all

(06:55):
over again.
But then while she was inrecovery, she was raped.
Hmm.
And so that resulted in apregnancy, and she did not want
to have an abortion.
She's like, no God saved mylife.
I'm not gonna take the lifethat's growing inside of me.
So, the doctors are like, well,you've got, you know, you're not

(07:15):
all, you've got brain damage,permanent brain damage.
You, you can't make these typesof decisions for yourself.
So they asked my grandparents tosign.
And my grandmother again, shehad this unwavering faith and
she's like, okay, well I'll helpyou raise this child.
And the doctor's like, you'recrazy.
Like, no, you can't do that.
First of all, this child isgonna be born, guaranteed to be

(07:37):
born with.
Mental disabilities anddeformities because she's on so
many different medications.
Plus she had been receivingelectric shock treatment.
And at that time it wasn't aperfected science.
It was, you know, it hadhorrible effects.
And she was getting thesetreatments while she was
pregnant with me and she was onall sorts of psychotic

(07:57):
medication and antipsychoticmedication and things of that
nature.
So they didn't know how to treattraumatic brain injury at the
time, not invasively the way wedo today.
And I, ironically, I'm in thatindustry, but at that time,
they.
She's gonna have all thesecomplications and we don't even
know that she can carry thisbaby two term.

(08:18):
And so you don't wanna bring ina child into this world that's
gonna be born, you know, likethis.
Mm-hmm.
And my grandmother says, no,it's, I don't care how the
child's born, I'll take care ofit.
And they say, you don'tunderstand the cost of taking
care of a child with all kindsof health conditions.
And on top of that, having achild out of wedlock, born into
poverty, she doesn't even have adad.
The shame of bringing a childinto this world out of rape.

(08:41):
And at that time, that was likea really shameful thing to bring
in a child, you know, out ofwedlock.
So, right, my grandmother, shedidn't care.
She says, ah, help, because shesaw my mom was really distraught
and she didn't, she was notgonna let anyone touch her and
get rid of the baby.
So my mom's, my grandmothersupported her decision, and

(09:05):
that's why I am here.
But, I didn't see it as amiracle because the first five
years of my life, I was raisedby my mother who had developed
schizophrenia because of themedication she was on.
She had this permanent braindamage.
So every time they changed themedication to try to help her,
things would get worse.
So she did not have a moralcompass and I didn't understand

(09:27):
it as a kid.
So I went through all sorts ofsexual abuse.
I went through physical abuse, Iwent through emotional abuse
things that no kid should evergo through, and it really
impacted me.
And I remember when I was likefive years old, my grandmother
picked me up or the, well, Iwent to go live with my

(09:49):
grandmother, but the policeactually drove me from my
mother's.
To my grandmother's house causemy mom had locked me alone and I
had locked myself out of thehouse.
So I went to go live with mygrandmother, but there were many
times before that then mygrandma would have to pick me up
because I would call her andshe'd go pick me up.
But this time I locked myselfout and that's the last time I

(10:11):
lived with my mom.
I was in kindergarten because Iremember, I still remember the
kindergarten class I was at.
It was a different city.
And then I had to re-enroll withmy grandmother at the school
near her house.
But I would still stay with mymom on weekends.
And you know, there were timeswhere I'd had to stay with her
or she would really go off thedeep end and go fight for me.

(10:35):
And my grandma didn't put up thefight.
They just like let her take me.
So I'd be gone for long periodsof time away from my grandmother
and I when I was a teenager, Ideveloped.
a lot of hatred and anger,resentment, bitterness.
I was angry at my grandmotherfor letting me stay at my mom's.

(10:55):
I was, I was like, I wouldn'tlet my own kids stay there.
Why did you do that?
And anger at my mom, because Isaw that she was able to like
live a life but her, I thoughtit was more of the moral
decisions that she made.
I didn't really understandtraumatic brain injury.

(11:16):
I didn't understand the brain, Ididn't understand all the things
that she went through.
So I kind of have a lot, had alot of hate towards her, and it
made me a very angry andungrateful child.
And so, it took me a while torealize that my grandmother, you
know, how fought how hard shefought for me to be here mm-hmm.

(11:38):
and to realize that it reallywas a miracle that I came into
this world without having anyphysical disabilities or mental
disabilities.
Although some people mightquestion that But so, I ended
up, you know, when you have lowself-esteem I've done a lot of
research on this.
Generally you end up in toxicrelationships.
That's what happened to me.
I ended up in a toxicrelationship, but in business I

(12:01):
was hugely successful.
I able to rise to the top at aFortune 50 company.
I didn't have a degree at thetime, and I was hired to manage
a marketing department, and Iwas, it was a 600 million
marketing budget that I wasmanaging.
So I did very, very well formyself in business, but I think

(12:22):
that I had the wrong idea ofwhat it meant to have purpose
and to have value.
So at work, I got my value fromall this praise, oh, you're
doing so well.
So I strive to do more, to dobetter, to be more successful.
And I lost it all when I camehome one day to see that my kids

(12:43):
had been abused in, inunimaginable ways, and mm-hmm.
it hurt, it broke my heart.
I left, I left that job.
Had I left my house, I left myhome, I left, you know, my car,
everything that I had I, I lostit all.
And I was just, I just wannamake sure that my kids were
protected.
So I had nowhere to go.

(13:04):
I, I was I went to an aunt anduncle's home and they didn't
have room for me, so they don't,they said you sleep on the
living room floor.
So that's where I stayed livingroom floor with me.
The time I had my three kids anda toddler a baby.
You know, I had just had a baby,so it was the four of us, and I
determined that I would never goback and I would never allow

(13:27):
anyone to harm my kids.
So, I decided at that time thatI wasn't going to allow anyone
to have any influence over me onrelat.
because up to that point, Ididn't have enough confidence in
myself, in my personal life or Iwould allow other people to tell
me, Hey, this is what you shoulddo.

(13:48):
Or, you know, in myrelationships and even church
members were telling me, youneed to forgive.
I'm like, Uhuh, you know, theBible says, you know, if anyone
hurts any of these little ones,it's better for him to hang a
millstone around his neck.
So I'm very passionate aboutdomestic violence because I hear
so many people say, well, it'stheir fault.

(14:09):
They keep pulling back.
Cause that was me.
I kept going back, I kept goingback.
And the thing that people don'trealize is that domestic
violence, the, the, the partner,cuz it can be a woman that's
mm-hmm.
violent, the partner can beextremely nice.
They're not always mean.
They're not mean 24 7.
In fact, they're so nice.

(14:30):
They give you the world andthey're just like, mm-hmm.
So, so kind that you just meltand you're like, okay, I forgive
you, and we're supposed toforgive.
Right?
Right.
And you hope that it won'thappen again.
And then things will be greatfor three months, six months,
you know, and then boom, ithappens again.
And that was me.
I was in this cycle and I keptwanting things to be better.

(14:55):
And I kept, you know, it was, itwas like, it was my vision of
what I wanted it to be, but itwasn't reality.
And so a lot of times inrelationships, that's what we
do.
We're like, this is what I want.
This is what I visualize.
But the other person has freewill and the other person, it's

(15:17):
up to them.
It's not up to you how theychoose to be.
So you have a choice.
You know, I always say, youknow, there's no such thing.
There's no such thing as losersin life.
There's only choosers.
You know, you choose how youwant to be, and that's how.
If that person, that time, Ididn't understand that.
So, but at that time when mykids were hurt, I was like, no

(15:38):
one's gonna touch them again.
Yeah.
I'm not going back.
I don't care what anybody says.
I'm not going back.
And I had a lot of pressure froma lot of people to forgive and
to go back and I said, mm-hmm.
you know, even at this, at thispoint, I was like, even if I had
a letter from the presidentsaying this guy was healed, I'm
glad, I'm glad you're healed,but I'm not taking that risk.

(16:01):
It's not worth it.
Mm-hmm.
it's not worth taking that riskfor this to happen to my kids
again.
You know?
So, yeah, that's what I chose todo and I laughed and so the only
way I thought that I could makeit in the world is if I got a
job in sales so I can make myown, my own commissions.
And I thought, if I make my owncommissions, I can take care of
my kids, get myself out of thesituation I'm in.

(16:24):
So I I applied everywhere andnobody wanted to gimme a job
because I didn't have experiencein sales.
And I kept saying, but if I cansell the board of directors how
to spend their 600 million inmarketing, I can sell this
little widget that you have, butnobody would gimme an
opportunity.
And finally I got anopportunity, and when I met the

(16:46):
president of that organization,he's like, you're not gonna make
it in this industry because it'sa man's world.
And it was in the medical deviceindustry for capital equipment.
So it is still pretty much aman's world in the capital
equipment industry, not so muchso like pharmaceutical and all
that.
It's, it's primarily females, Iwould say.
Mm-hmm.

(17:07):
But when it comes to capitalequipment, it's primarily male
dominated.
And I remember the VP ofmarketing said, You're just not
gonna make it.
You know, I take the doctors outto the strip club, are you gonna
go to the strip club?
I take them fishing and hunting.
I don't think you're gonna gofishing and hunting.
And I had this confidence andthis belief in myself and this
point that I'm going to make it.

(17:29):
And I said, Hey, just gimme 30days straight commission.
You have nothing to lose.
And I quickly became the numberone national sales
representative in theorganization.
Wow.
And but I still had you know,my, my personal life was still
not where it should be.

(17:50):
I still had this idea that valuecomes from how successful you
are in business.
If I make mm-hmm.
a million.
I can prove to my family, yes,I'm worth it because I had
family members that supportedme, but I had family members
that did not support me.
I had family members who wouldtell me, you are not really part

(18:11):
of the family.
We don't even know who your dadis.
You're just a bastard child.
And made me feel like I was apart of the family.
In fact, I remember Christmasscatterings, my mom and I would
be by ourselves.
We wouldn't get invited to sitat the table.
We were kind of, ostracizedbecause of her mental illness.
They weren't embarrassed aboutit.
We wouldn't get invited toweddings.

(18:32):
We wouldn't get invited to bigfamily events where my mom could
cause embarrassment or I couldembarrass the family because,
well, who's her mom?
Oh, she's her dot oh, you know,it was just an embarrassment.
So they'd rather just leave usout.
And so I felt, man, if I justmake a million dollars, I can
prove to everybody.
See I'm worth it.

(18:53):
And so I remember and this ismore a subconscious thing.
Mm-hmm.
But I recognize it now because Iremember feeling like I can't
wait to buy, you know, so and soa house.
I can't wait to buy, you know, afamily member that needs a car,
be able to just go buy them acar.
I can't wait to do these thingsfor my family to prove that I'm,

(19:14):
that I have value, that I havework.
Mm-hmm.
And so anyway, I grew thisthere's a lot of more, more
details that's in my foot, I'msure.
But eventually I ended upgetting fired because I made too
much money in commissions.
And then I had to start anothercompany and I started another

(19:35):
company from scratch.
I got F D a clearance and I grewit to, and I scaled it to the
point where I was able to buythe company that fired me.
Wow.
So the, and I had already made,I remember I, when I made it was
more than it, it was likemillions of dollars.
I was making so much money.
Mm.
And I didn't feel fulfilled.

(19:56):
I didn't feel like, wow, I havevalue, I have purpose.
Now, I still felt like, okay,well, I, I still felt
insignificant, right Then I feltlike, you know, that, and I
didn't know the impostersyndrome was a thing.
I had no idea and I had that,and I thought I was the only one
in the world experiencing it.
I'm like, I don't belong here.

(20:18):
Because I, you know, this iswrong with me.
You know, I don't have a dad.
I'm a product of rape.
My mom's mentally disabled.
I've gone through this and this,and this and this, and I, at
that point, I hadn't shared whatI shared with you.
Hadn't shared it with anybody.
My best friend didn't know.
I would just, you know, hopethat nobody ever found out my
backstory.
because I was too ashamed of itmyself.

(20:39):
Because I remember growing upfamily members telling me, you
don't share this story.
You know, I had a aunt and unclewho would say, you just say
we're your parents.
So I would just say to theoutside world, these are my
parents.
This is my mom and my dad, whichthey weren't my mom and my dad.
And then when my best friendfound out, she was crying, and
she goes, I can't believe younever told me.
And I said, I was too ashamed totell you, but at that point, I

(21:00):
hadn't gotten there yet.
And so people would ask me,how'd you buy the company that
fired you?
You should share that.
You should speak.
And I had a dream.
And in my dream, God said, thisisn't your story.
This is your story.
And it was my backstory that Ijust shared with you.
Mm-hmm.
And I remember calling an auntand I said, I've gotta share
this story.
And she goes, no, you're not.
I said, yes I am.
She goes, no, you're not.

(21:21):
And I said, yes, I am.
And she says, oh hell no, you'renot.
And to this day, that aunt doesnot talk to me because what I
shared with you today, becauseI'm bringing shame upon the
family for sharing.
That, that I feel there's anacronym that I use.
It's called fat.
I believe that to be resilient,you need to be fat and fat STA

(21:42):
stands for faith.
You've gotta have faith, yougotta believe even when things
are at.
You're, you're, you're at yourdarkest moment.
Like my grandma, you know, theyhad lost everything, stole
everything.
You know, they her daughter hereis about to die.
And then her daughter who she, Ihear beautiful stories about
her.
My mom, she was very social.

(22:04):
She would have parties, shewould have gatherings.
She was very, very smart.
And through sharing my story, Iwas able to meet some of her
classmates from before her caraccident, cuz my mom was in
college at the time of theaccident.
And they reached out to me onsocial media, Hey, I knew your
mom.
She was my best friend.
Here's some pictures.
So people were, are sending mepictures of my mom that I've
never seen with her and herfriends.

(22:26):
And so I got to learn from themhow she was.
So, they say she was beautiful.
She was homecoming queen.
She was very, very smart.
Just very charismatic people,loved her.
She was very, I'm very short andbarely fine, feet tall.
She was very, very tall.
Hmm.
And so, she was just verybeautiful.
So for a mother, you know, forthis to happen to your child,

(22:48):
it, it was a lot.
And so I learned about faiththrough my grandmother.
I went back and embraced and,you know, all this bitterness,
all, everything that I, I.
All these feelings that I hadwent away and I was able to
forgive myself for feeling thatway and forgive my grandparents.
And I felt ashamed for havingfelt bitter and angry towards
them.

(23:08):
But faith is a, is a huge thing.
You have to have faith.
And sometimes when you don'tbelieve in yourself, you have to
borrow somebody else's belief inyou.
And we tend to believe the lies.
Like I have family members thathave loved me, supported me,
tell me I have value, butsomehow I believe the other
family members that were mean tome, that were cruel to me.

(23:28):
And that's what I gravitatedtowards.
You have to have belief in, youknow, the people who support
you.
And then the other one is A, youhave to be adaptable.
So that's what I had to do.
When I was fired, I becameadaptable.
I started another company and Igrew that and I was able to buy
the company that fired me.
And then the other, the last oneis T for truth, because at that

(23:51):
point I hadn't embraced my truthyet.
I haven't shared that story.
Like when I had that dream whereGod says, this is your story,
not this one.
This is what you gotta share.
And I told my aunt, it's notabout me, it's not about my mom.
It's not even about you.
It's about the power of God.
It's about what's possible inthe impossible.
It's about seeing the advantagein adversity.

(24:15):
That's what it's about.
It's not about, I mean, probablynobody even cares about the
story, but we can use that storyso people can see, hey, are you
going through adversity?
What adversity are you goingthrough?
We'll see the advantage.
There's always an advantage Andadversity always.
And in, in my case, I hadn'tseen that and now I do.

(24:35):
And it was by embracing my truthand saying, yeah, this is my
truth.
Yes, I am a product of rape.
Yes, my mom was mentallydisabled.
Yes, this is how I was raised.
I went through sexual abuse, Iwent through physical abuse.
These are things that I wasgonna take to my grave that no
one would ever know.
And in the corporate world, Ijust wanted to be known as, oh,
this successful person that, youknow, I started this medical

(24:57):
device company and we've got f dA clearances and we've got
patents.
And that's what I wanted theworld to see.
And it wasn't until I embracedmy truth when I realized that
it's not about.
Money.
And even though the title of mybook, it's called Greater
Fortune, essential Lessons fromthe Entrepreneur Who Bought the
Company That Fired Her, theGreater Fortune is not in money.

(25:19):
Right?
And sometimes it's, when you'reyounger, it's hard to see that
because, I don't know, whenyou're young, you just think
you're gonna live forever, andthen you get my age and you
realize, oh crap, I don't havemuch longer to live.
I better make an impact, right?
Mm-hmm.
But it's not all about moneybecause when you die, you can't
take it with you.
You right.
Actually, you can't takeanything.

(25:39):
Even the clothes I'm wearing, Iam not taking them with me.
Someone else is going to.
take them or they'll getdestroyed or whatever, right?
But when you die, you takenothing with you.
And so you realize that everyperson has value, every person
matters, every person has apurpose.
And we may not see that at thetime.

(26:01):
I know I didn't see it.
For me, I didn't see a purpose.
For me, I just thought, youknow, like everybody else
thought, I'm just gonna be aburden on society.
And for me, being successful inbusiness helped me.
I felt like I'm not a burden onsociety.
C, I'm successful.
See, I have value, but nobodycares.
Nobody cares if you'resuccessful.
They, because what everybodyelse wants is they want to be,

(26:22):
you know, what's in it for me?
That's how people think.
And so now I'm more passionateabout.
Helping people realize theirpotential.
Because if you do realize that,and I'm not saying there's
anything wrong with making moneyand being successful, I want
everybody to be successful inbusiness.
That's why I do businessconsulting.
I want everybody to besuccessful in business, but for

(26:42):
the right reason.
Because when you're successfulin business, you're creating
jobs.
And when you create jobs, you'rehelping the community.
You're helping the economy.
And so businesses help oureconomy.
They help support families.
They help put food on the table.
So that's why I believe it'simportant to be successful in
business.
If that's your route, that'sawesome, but maybe that's not

(27:04):
your route.
Maybe your route is not to ownyour own business.
Maybe you're happy where youare.
You can't see yourself takingthose types of risks, you know?
But you can still make an impactwhere you are.
The person that made the biggestimpact in my life was a school
counselor.
And that counselor just changedmy life in an incredible way.

(27:27):
And and it, faith for me hasmade a big difference in my
life.
And if it hadn't been for thatschool counselor that would help
me see my value that my valuecomes from God, not from myself
or what I do, I'm not my ownGod.
I realized that, that I didmatter.
And so it, it didn't happenovernight.
It took years, it took time,but.

(27:49):
It started that it planted thatlittle seed in me where it
helped me grow my faith to whereI have my faith today.
So it didn't plant that seed.
And so you never know the impactyou're going to make.
But like another person thatmade a huge impact in my life
was Dr.
Martin.
He is an amazing friend thatI've had for over 15 years.
But I remember when I got fired,I was crying in his office and I

(28:11):
said, I don't know what I'mgonna do.
And I was just sobbing, thrownwith myself a pity party.
And he's like, this is the bestday of your life.
And I'm like, well, what's wrongwith you?
How am I gonna support my familyand I'm gonna pay my medical
bills?
And I didn't see in myself whathe saw in me.
And so with his encouragement, Iwas able to start my own
company.
So you can make an influencewherever, wherever you are.

(28:34):
And the reason I share my storyis now, and I'm not ashamed of
it, and maybe some people mayfeel shame for me because I
remember I spoke at an event andthere was like 5,000 people and
this man came, came up to me andhe goes, I can't believe you
shared that.
And goes, lady, you've got someballs, And you know, but I think
it's important because I've hadpeople come up to me, I had, I

(28:56):
remember this lady, she justheld me so tight and she was
crying and she says, today youreleased 35 years of shame.
And she says, because I too wasraised by my grandmother, she
says, my mom was my sister, andwe lied about it.
And I found out later, and I,I've been carrying all this

(29:18):
shame and nobody knows, it'sstill a secret in our family.
Her grandmother is the mother,but she found out that it was
really her sister that was hermother.
So it just created all of thisturmoil within, within her.
And she, she just released it.
And she says, you know, I'm, youknow, I'm thankful that you

(29:40):
shared that.
So I believe that it's soimportant for us to embrace our
truth, because a lot of timeswhen you don't embrace your
truth, you create a facade.
You know, you create this imageof who you are, but it's not
really who you are.
Mm-hmm.
And it actually creates more turturmoil inside.

(30:03):
Right.
And you see it even in business.
So even in business, I seebusiness owners, I know business
owners that are hugelysuccessful in business, but
they're miserable at home.
They're miserable with theirpersonal relationships.
Mm-hmm.
or they have high turnover, andit's because they, there's
something within them that theyhaven't embraced.
They're trying to coversomething up, they're trying to

(30:25):
hide something, and it's nothealthy.
It's actually very toxic.
And so that's why I believebeing fat is so important to
become resilient.
And that's faith, adaptabilityand embracing your truth.

Wow.
Well thank you for sharing allthat.
There's like, there's so much tounpack there.
I have probably a dozendifferent questions, but from
all of that, like what stood outto me initially was, your
grandma.
Sounds like she was a verypowerful person.
Very strong.
And you know, and, and I waswondering, cuz I'd imagine that

(31:05):
growing up how you did with yourmom who was, you know, had a lot
of things to deal with and youin turn had a lot to deal with
and this lack of self-confidencethat you talked about, if there
was that one person or a couplepeople that helped instill that
in you, because I was like,okay, so you, you struggled

(31:27):
growing up, I don't know, likeyou were kind of ostracized from
your family for something thatwas totally out of your control
and then you were driven inbusiness still.
It sounds like you still hadkind of this like, belief in
yourself or something changedwhere you went from dealing with
these things growing up ormaybe, maybe the lack of

(31:49):
self-esteem.
hurt you in relationships, butalso drove you when it came to
your career in business.
Is that kind of like what youfelt?
Is that, was that the drivingforce and do you feel like
that's why you got to that pointand then you turned around and
you're like, this didn't bringme what I thought it would, if
that makes sense.
Well, I,

yes.
Yes.
I think it's a combination ofthings.
Mm-hmm.
because my grandmother had abeauty salon.
She had several beauty salonsthroughout town.
Ok.
And my grandfather had abarbershop right next door.
So I spent a lot of summersthere.
And also after school, I wouldgo to my grandma salon.
So I saw her the way she treatedthe customers.

(32:29):
I saw the one lily, mygrandfather treated the
customers.
For example, every kid that gota haircut got a free comic.
And so that's how I learnedabout Batman and Robin and, you
know, hot stuff.
There was a cartoon called thatBlondie and the Arches and all
these cartoons.
Yeah, I mean, comic books that Iwould read.
And sometimes if I really likedit, I would hide it because I

(32:49):
didn't want another kid to getit.
Yeah.
But my grandfather gave a comicbook to every kid that came in
that got a hair haircut, and hewas always so busy.
My grandmother was always sobusy.
In the morning when we get thereto open up, there was already a
long line of people waiting toget into her salon and she had
five employees at each salon.

(33:10):
They each had their stations, Iremember.
And I would help her sweep upafterwards, I would help her
answer the phone.
I was like, really goofy.
I say goofy things.
Sometimes I'd get in trouble,but I, I'd help her organize
like, Tit bottles, you know, forhair tinting and things like
that, of that nature.
And she also was the same way.
She was always giving.

(33:30):
So I saw her I picked up a lotfrom her because every person
that came in, they would get agift.
And it wasn't a cheap gift.
It was like, you know, expensivehand cream or hair conditioner
or something of that nature.
She always had food for hercustomer.
She always had coffee andcookies and all kinds of stuff.
And they became like her family.
In fact, when I was a littlegirl, I thought all the old

(33:51):
ladies that came in, I thoughtthey were my grandma.
I'm like, if you're an old lady,you're my grandma.
I called all of them Grandma andthey were like family to me.
And so I think I developed asense of that, just not
consciously, but I just likeabsorbed that into me.
And I saw my grandma, you know,she was very driven, you know,
wake up early and go to workand, you know, I saw all the

(34:13):
hard work that she poured intoher business, you know, and then
also, I think with the, withthat's on the business side, but
also she would go, I think mysale, my lessons in sales came
from a flea market, believe ornot because my grandmother would
go to the flea market everySunday cuz she loved antiques.

(34:35):
So she collected all theseantiques, everything from
antique jewelry from Tiffany.
So she'd look to see who madelike costume jewelry meat coats
that still had the tags on fromlike 1920 or something crazy,
like, I don't know where she,she would just source all this
stuff and a antique dishes andthings like that.
And then she'd, she'd go, she'dcollect so much she had to sell

(34:58):
it.
So then she had an air sheetsell it, and she put me in.
and she'd gimme a hundred bucksfor the day for, you know, a 10
year old kid.
A hundred dollars is a lot ofmoney for the day, for sure.
At that time period.
And she would teach me like,here, everything's priced out.
Don't go below this price, andthis is how you negotiate.
You know, I, I priced this alittle bit higher to give you

(35:20):
wiggle room so you cannegotiate.
Mm-hmm.
And so I'm just a 10 year oldkid.
It's like, no, my grandma saidthis is the lowest.
But if you wanna talk to her,You know, she'll be here in an
hour or whatever.
Right.
Well she went shopping andthat's what she would do.
She'd go shop and collect morestuff cuz she loved it, but then
she'd have to sell it cause shehad so much Yeah.
And so I learned sales from herbecause she's like, if you make

(35:41):
these sales without having towait for me to get back, I'm
gonna give you more money out.
And so like sometimes I walk allwith, if she made a thousand
dollars, she'd gimme 200 of it,for example.
So I really worked hard to closesales while she was gone and I'm
just like a little kid, youknow?
Mm-hmm.
and doing this.
So I would do that every Sunday.

(36:01):
And I developed my sales skillsthere and never really thought
about it.
And so like I started writing mybook, I'm like, man, all these
sales techniques I learned frommy grandmother.
Ah-huh.
And I, you know, I learned youknow, just so much from her.
And then from having value, Ithink it was that school
counselor, because, you know,for me, I was always ashamed

(36:25):
that I didn't have a father.
My birth certificate is actuallyblank with his father.
Mm-hmm.
there's nothing there.
So that's my mother's name,father, nothing.
Wow.
And I was always ashamed aboutthat.
And I had gone through sexualabuse and it was very painful
and I didn't know how to dealwith it.
And I was crying.
I was depressed.
I didn't know why I was crying.

(36:47):
Well, I was crying because ofthat, but I didn't connect the
dots.
Mm-hmm.
Cause a month had happened and Iwas just so depressed.
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And the principal didn't knowwhat's wrong with me.
A counselor didn't know what'swrong with me.
They called in an outsidecounselor.
The outside counselor comes inand she couldn't get anything
out.
Me.
The school bell rings,everybody's gone.
And she's still waiting.
And then she finally gets it outof me, what happened to me.

(37:10):
And she says, well, you knowwhat happened to you?
Jesus Christ felt it on thecross.
everything you went through, hefelt it on his shoulders and the
entire world.
And he is your father and hedied on the cross so that you,
he can be your father if youaccept him, and he'll forgive

(37:31):
you for anything that's E you'veever done and the entire world.
And I just sobbed because thepain I felt inside was so much,
I just couldn't imagine thatanybody else could feel the pain
that I was feeling.
And I just like sobbed, likethinking there's a God who did
that for me.

(37:52):
She says, yeah, he rose on thethird day.
He's alive today and he is yourroyalty.
Do you accept him?
And I said, yes.
And I was like, wow.
I don't, sorry, I don't have afather here, but I have a father
in heaven and I, I don't know,your audience may not be, you

(38:12):
know, they're like, have nofaith at all or, or anything.
But this was my experience.
Mm-hmm.
And so my experience was, Icouldn't believe this.
I'm like, th this is incredible.
And I was just so, filled withpeace.
Like, wow.
A God cared enough for everysingle one of us in on this

(38:34):
planet.
You know, every single one of uscared enough to die on that
cross to carry all of ourburdens if we laid a Amen feet.
And it helped.
I didn't understand at the timethough, that we all have free
will, and because we all havefree will.
God loves you so much.
He doesn't even wanna force hiswill on you.
Of course his will is the bestfor you.

(38:55):
And you know, there'sconsequences when, you know, if
you get drunk, I mean, and youget in behind a wheel.
You might have a car accidentand kill yourself or kill
somebody.
There's consequences to whatyour actions.
But you have the freedom.
You have total freedom to livelife the way you want to.
And I started studying theBible.
And then at that time I wassaying world history and

(39:16):
everything lined up, all theprophecies lined up with the
Bibles.
I was like, oh my goodness.
And so that's where myself-confidence started to grow
and started to develop.
But.
It still wasn't where it neededto be.
So it, for me, when I embracedmy faith in Christianity as a
Christian, it wasn't like theclouds opened up and woo, and

(39:38):
everything's perfect and yourlife is perfect.
It wasn't that way for me.
I know I hear a lot of storiesand testimonials.
That's the way it was for them.
For me, it was a process, andI'm still going through that
process, and I don't think I'llever complete it because I'm so
hardheaded until the day I die.
you know, we, we all areimperfect.
We all make mistakes, but itgets better and better and

(40:01):
better.
But it is my faith when I amdown in the dumps, when
something does go wrong, whensomeone makes some stupid
decision that impacts my life, Iturn to God.
I'm like, you know what?
I'll leave it at your hands.
You know, I forgive them, youknow, doesn't mean I have to
have them.
A part of my life doesn't meanthat.
I have to invite them in myhome.
I can forgive them, meaning Idon't embrace any bitterness.

(40:23):
I don't have any hatred towardsthem.
I left it at God's feet and lethim deal with it, and I can go
on with my life.
But that faith has really helpedme so much in incredible ways,
and I just can't imagine what mylife would be without that.

(40:44):
Hmm.

Yeah.
I wanna talk about that a littlemore, the letting go, because I
think it's something that somany people struggle with,
right?
You're like, oh, I use my faithand I let it go.
And it almost sounds nonchalant,but I've Sure you've done a ton
of deep work with that.
And I just happened to bereading a book, maybe you're
familiar with it, called TheUntethered Soul, which is,

oh, I haven't, I mean, I'm gonna write
it down.
Oh yeah.
Untethered Soul.
Okay.

Yeah.
I just started reading it myselfbecause it was, you know,
recommended I.
It's one of those books that yousaw popping up so many times and
I'm like, all right.
Like, I think it's, I need toread it.
And that's essentially what ittalks about is being able to
release these emotions, right?
Because we, you know, I, I wasgrowing up like, not to get into
it, but I always just buriedthings, you know what I mean?

(41:31):
Like internally, mentally,emotionally.
And then those things, when youbury'em, they're not able to
like go away, right?
You're not releasing them.
And so they're kind of storedand then there's things triggers
that bring certain thoughts andemotions up, right?
And that goes for both veryemotionally positive and very
emotionally negative things.

(41:52):
And so I'm sure you know, youhave more experience in it than
a lot of people in terms ofthings that you've needed to
kind of let go and deal with.
And so do you have any kind of,I dunno if I'd say tactical, but
ways for people to get better atlike, You know, releasing these
things that maybe they've beenholding onto for years or

(42:14):
decades that are weighing themdown or, you know, causing
emotions that they can't handle.
Like for me, I found that for somany years, it was fine.
I, you know, just shut thesethings away.
But then, you know, over thepast year or two, there were
different things that came upthat would, I was like, man, why
are, why are all these thingscoming to the surface?

(42:34):
You know?
And it was almost like kind ofan over, like, you can, you can
shove things away for so long,but eventually they kind of
overflow and start to come outkind of regardless.
So do you have some advice onthat, on how to do that?
Sure,

definitely.
And I, I know what that feelslike because when you let things
go, it doesn't mean the emotionsgo away.
You can still feel pain.
Mm-hmm.
and it's okay to feel pain and,and it's okay to feel, you know,
even if you've done somethingwrong, to feel guilt that once
you feel it, the reason you feelguilt is to recognize, hey, I

(43:08):
need a change of this, right?
Mm-hmm.
but then you let it go.
It's not healthy to hold onto itforever.
right?
So one of the things that I'velearned to do is, okay, where am
I right now?
You know, if I experienced thistraumatic, painful experience
from a long time ago, and maybeit's a song that re because that

(43:29):
happened to me, sometimes a songfrom the seventies will remind
me of a situation with my mom.
And it's like I, you know, maybeabout like 11 years ago I
remember it as a restaurant andthis song played and my mom had
played it at a party.
I've never shared this on apodcast.
Hmm.
She was having an orgy.

(43:51):
I'm a little kid and I'm thereand this song's playing.
So I'm at this restaurant andthe song plays and I start
crying and I'm bawling and.
My family's like, what is wrongwith you?
Why are you crying?
I don't know why I'm crying.
I don't know why I'm crying.
I get into the car and I justcan't stop bawling.
I get home.
And then I realized it was asong.
That song triggered it becausethat song was playing at that

(44:14):
party where my mom was doingthese things, and I'm just a
little kid.
And I hated that experience.
I hated it.
I like, oh, I, it was justawful.
Yeah.
You know?
And I carried that within me,like growing up.
Nobody knew that I hadexperienced that.
I didn't want anybody to knowthat I had experienced that.

(44:35):
but I've learned to like, okay,I'm, I'm here.
I'm okay.
I'm not in that situation.
Yeah, this situation happened,but this is why I am, I'm okay
now.
I'm safe, I'm healthy, I'm okay.
I can let it go.
And you have to re remember thatbecause if you take yourself
back to that memory and you staythere, you may, you're gonna

(44:57):
keep in that build depress mode.
Yeah.
And it builds and builds andbuilds and it's very hard to get
outta.
And I'm like, then I startgratitude.
And I know you and I have heardthis multiple times, probably
even from some of your guests.
You know what?
I'm grateful that I'm not thereanymore.
Now.
I'm so grateful that, well, forme, it's, I'm so grateful God

(45:18):
took me out of that situationand I've survived it.
Look, look where I'm now.
I'm here.
I'm happy.
I'm healthy.
I'm in a safe space.
And so that's the first step.
And if you're not in a safespace, call 9 1 1.
Mm-hmm.
get yourself some help if youneed to.
And it's okay to seekcounseling.

(45:39):
It's okay to get a therapist.
I know.
And it's especially now, oh, wewanna be strong.
I'm strong.
And it's a sh it might be a signof weakness to go get therapy.
No, it's not.
It's okay to go talk to someoneand maybe you're not comfortable
speaking to a counselor.
Speak to a life coach.
Speak to a mentor.
I, I know I mentor severalpeople.

(46:01):
I am a life co.
I'm certified life coach aswell, so I mentor people as
well.
So if you need to speak tosomeone, reach out to someone
that can help you.
Then the next thing is get apiece of paper.
Write down the things you aregood at.
What are at least five things?
In my book, I say write out 10things because I know you can.

(46:21):
Right.
What are things that you aregood, good at?
and then write down also,because that helps you develop
your confidence.
Mm-hmm.
it helps you develop like, youknow what I'm, and we tend to
love this comparison game.
Oh, this person has a number onepodcast.
Or I wanna have the number onepodcast.
No, no.
What are you good at?
Focus what you're good at.

(46:41):
You're good at cars.
Okay, you wanna do a podcast,focus on doing a podcast on
cars.
Cause that's what you're goodat.
Or you're good at, you know,baking pies, I don't know.
Then focus on that.
You could start a business doingthat.
You know, there's so manythings.
Or maybe you have ideas ormm-hmm.
you know, you have an idea forsomething you know, great that

(47:04):
no one's invented yet.
Write these things down and thenthat's gonna help you
tremendously on building yourconfidence.
And then to, to, and that'simportant to let letting go
because a lot of times we retainthings because we don't have
that confidence and.
then we feel sorry for ourselvesand we feel less than.

(47:25):
And so an important part ofletting go is having that
self-confidence in yourself.
Mm-hmm.
that is so important.
And then also, what are thingsthat you've gone through?
Like at the time, we've all, Idon't care how old you are,
you've gone through something.
Mm-hmm.
you know, I remember my kid thisfour years old.
Oh, it's the worst day of mylife.

(47:45):
Like, you're four years old.
come on, Yeah.
But there's things you've gonethrough.
What are some of the thingsyou've gone through and how
you've overcome?
And then you can see like, ohwow, I've, this is nothing I
can, I can get through this.
I can let this go becausemm-hmm.
I was able to overcome this andthis and this and this.
So when you realize, wow, whereGod's taking you, you know, I,

(48:07):
for me, it's where God's takenme because that's the God I
serve.
And I'm like, oh, he's taking methrough this and that.
But even if you don't have thesame faith I have.
Hey, you're here today.
You've gone through some thingsand you've overcome these things
and you will overcome again.
So yeah, that's what, that'simportant.
So write down on list of thingsthat you're good at, write down

(48:28):
a list of things that you'veovercome where you are now.
And just remember, Hey, I'm safenow.
I'm okay.
Look where I am now.
And then be thankful.
What are these things that I'veover, you know, that I have
today?
You know, and for me, I actuallyused this when I left and it was
just me and my kids and we hadnothing.
And we're living on the livingroom floor of my aunt's house,

(48:50):
and my kids have gone throughtra post p t s, post-traumatic
stress syndrome.
And so they were crying at nightbecause of what they
experienced.
And I was going throughcounseling, taking them through
counseling, and I just kepttelling myself, you know what?
I am so thankful we're notgetting beat anymore.
I'm so thankful we're safe now.
I'm so thankful that we're okay.

(49:10):
And many people will look at thesituation and say, you know
what?
I'm.
Broke.
I had, I don't have a car, Idon't have a house.
Oh, I, you know, I'm homelesswith my kids and we've gone
through all this and whoa is me.
Right?
And I understand that.
But there's still something ifyou, if your heart is beating

(49:31):
and you have a brain, you shouldbe even thankful for that, that
you're alive today.
So there is something to bethankful for.
And that's what I was thankfulfor.
I'm like, I'm thankful we'realive today.
You know what, my kids, they'rehealthy.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're going through somethings that we're gonna get
through this.
And so I just, and I am, I wouldteach that to my kids.
And my kids are like, what arewe thankful for today?

(49:52):
What are we thankful for today?
And so that made their life alittle bit easier and their
transition a little bit.
Now, I wasn't gonna say it wastotally easy cuz I won't never
forget and my son's gonna killme if he ever hears this one of
them.
So I have a son, he's 24.
He's in the Army.
He's stationed in WashingtonState.

(50:14):
And I remember he, when Ifinally got us our own home, it
wasn't as big as the house I hadwhen it had this executive, you
know, job at a fortune you know,big Fortune 50 company.
But it was a nice home.
it was a very nice home, was anice neighborhood.
So he told the teacher, we're sopoor We live in a shack.

(50:37):
The teacher calls me, has aconference.
It's, where do you live?
I'm like, I live across thestreet, the neighborhood across
the street.
He goes, you're my neighbor.
We live in a nice neighborhood.
He called my son in.
What's wrong with you?
Complain.
This is like a very niceneighborhood.
And so it, it's just hilariousbecause you know some people's
perspective of what it is to,you know, to have some, you

(50:59):
know, to be thankful, right?
You don't realize it.
So I want you to realize, youknow, even if you know you don't
have your own home, you have aroof over your head, you know?
Mm-hmm.
even if you are not at the placewhere you wanna be, you are
alive.
There's potential, there'spossibility.
Look at me, I had no home, nocar.

(51:20):
I saw the possibility.
I got myself out of thissituation and got myself into a
home, got myself into the pointto the point where I could buy
myself my own car, cash withouthaving to take out a loan.
So it's possible for you.
If it was possible for me, it'spossible for you.
And so just be thankful of thosethings because many people have

(51:44):
that mindset like my son had atthat time, like mm-hmm.
we're so poor.
Like, no, you're not You have anice, nice house.
It's not imagine, but it's anice house, you know?
Right.
At that time, and he was, he wasin kindergarten at that time, I
think, and it was hilarious.
So

Yeah.
So to me it sounds like, inother words, to summarize
everything that you just said,it all has to do with shifting
your focus.
Yes.
Shifting your focus.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And like, this is something thatTony Robbins talks about all the
time, right?
Changing your state by what youfocus on is the main thing.
Mm-hmm.
whatever you focus on, you'refeeding.
Right.

(52:20):
Where mm-hmm.
focus goes, energy flows.
So yes, it's, when we get intothese habits or these cycles of
focusing on the lack or whatwe're struggling with, that,
those problems, they just getbigger and bigger.
We hold onto'em.
We keep feeding that pattern.
Right.
And so these things are designedto shift from like, you know,
not giving more energy to thesethings that we need to let go

(52:42):
of, but focusing on these other,these positives so that we can
then not feed the negative.
Right.
In a sense.
Right.
Exactly.
You focus on what you'regrateful for.
You don.
focus on what you're lacking,right?
Or you focus on what you're goodat.
You don't focus on what you'rebad at.
So those are just, yeah, greatexercises, but remember it all

(53:03):
like, just to make it reallysimple, it's about shifting your
focus, so mm-hmm.
and that's something that'softentimes easier said than
done, but I'm curious, you know,you're a resilience coach,
obviously you've had you you'vehad to be very resilient
throughout your life.
Were there times, cuz like whenI hear the story I'm like, well,

(53:23):
you just kept going.
You kept like pushing, you kept,were there a lot of, I'm sure
there were, but did you everreally fully consider like
throwing in the towel, giving uphope?
Or did you always have like kindof a spark of hope or like, I'm
not giving up, I'm gonna makeit.

To you.
There were times, I think morewhen I was a, when I was
younger, where, when I was stilla kid that I, I just wanted to
give up on life and my life.
I wish I didn't exist.
I wish I would, I wish I wasn'there.
I felt like I was a mistake.
Everybody told me I was amistake.
I'm like, yeah, I am proof thatI'm a mistake because I don't

(54:01):
even know who my dad is.
I shouldn't be here.
And so those were times where Ireally wanted to throw in the
towel, I'm sorry, the towel.
But as an adult, not really somuch.
So, and I think probably becauseas an adult, I had my children,
you know, I had my first childat the age of 21, my second at
22, then, you know, 23.
And, and I had four children bythe time I'm 27.

(54:21):
And I'm a single mom by the timeI'm 27 years old and I have four
kids that I have to take careof.
Dad lost parental rights and Ihave to support them.
So because I've had a family, myfocus has sort of more shifted
towards them.
Mm-hmm.
Where.
I wouldn't dare even thinking ofending my life because I would
think, oh my goodness, theimpact on my kids, right?

(54:44):
I don't think that's evercrossed my mind.
I'm just like, we'll make it,we'll make it one way or
another, you know, we're gonnaget through this.
And it's helped me to encouragemy own kids when they have, you
know, my daughter, she's anentrepreneur, so I remember when
she started her own business itwas a scary thing because, you
know, she invested on this moneyand, you know, she, you know,

(55:07):
hiring employees and things ofthat nature.
But me encouraging her helpernow she's usually successful and
she's doing very, very well.
And she just test texted me cuzshe just started her business
about not just 2022, the firstpart of 2022.
And she's like, I've had thebest year ever, you know, the
best month ever.
And, you know, just all sharingher successes, but it's helped

(55:30):
me to.
you know, stay positive byencouraging them.
And I, I don't know, kids are ablessing because maybe if I
didn't have kids I might havelike thrown in the towel, you
know?
Mm-hmm.
a time or two.
I'd want to, but I think becauseof my kids that's kept me going.
It's given me purpose and justpouring into them, it just, you

(55:55):
know, I guess it, it heals me aswell.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That's a, a beautiful lesson tohave something outside of
yourself to keep you in thegame.
That's, that's a theme that hascome up over and over with
guests of this, of this show.
But I'm sure people wanna knowmore.
And I know, you know, your booktalks more about this, but

(56:18):
buying the company that firedyou, like was there, was there
like a hit a bit of like.
Vengeance in your motivation todo that?
Like, was that kind of like anultimate, like sticking it to em
almost in a sense when you cameback to that?

Actually, no.
No, no.
I know a lot of people ask methat and they're like, did you
fire everybody?
And I'm like, no, actually.
Well, it was very, it was nevereven my thought process.
I'm gonna go back and buy thecompany that fired me.
It was never, you know, athought.
Mm-hmm.
I was fine.
I had gotten myself back towhere I needed to be and they

(56:57):
had noticed that, so theycontacted me and said, Hey, do
you wanna invest in the company?
And I said, well, let me doevaluation.
And so I went back, did thevaluation.
This is where it was soimportant to forgive and let go,
because had I not let go, Imean, when I got fired, so many
people was like, you need to suethem and you'll win, and da, da
da da.
And I didn't.

(57:18):
I let it go.
I, I guarantee you, I would'venever gotten that call.
So I did get the call and we didthe evaluation, and after six
months of negotiations, I, Ibought them.
I decided I wanna buy thecompany.
And it never crossed my mind.
I'm buying the company thatfired you, fired me.
Never crossed my mind once untilI remember the day we were

(57:39):
signing all the documents andeverything, and Dr.
Scarano says, well, no one'sever gonna disrespect you now.
And I said, well, what do youmean?
Because you just bought thecompany that fired you.
Are you kidding me?
And I just laughed.
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't think anything ofit.
And then I remember peopleasking me, like, they'd come to

(58:00):
my office and they'd say, howyou get here?
Like, you know, they, you know,they talk to the engineers and
the engineer's like, oh, youneed to talk to the boss.
And they send me to my officeand I'm like, well, I own the
company or, Is your husbandhere?
Does he run the company?
I'm like, no, I run the company.
So how did that happen?
Well, I just bought the companythat, you know, they had fired
me and I bought them and they'relike, oh, you need to start

(58:23):
sharing this story, So peoplestarted asking me to do that,
and I was not ever intending onspeaking about it or, you know,
becoming a public speaker.
Mm-hmm.
that sort of happenedaccidentally.
And so when that startedhappening, I started investing
in coaching and, and learninghow to communicate effectively.

(58:44):
And so it, it just like happenedvery sort of quickly, but I've.
Trained one-on-one by JohnMaxwell, by Les Brown, by Brian
Tracy, by so many, like I, Ithink I've taken every single
high level high speaker course.
Like I think I've investedalmost over 900, 900 do thousand

(59:07):
dollars, almost a milliondollars in developing myself.
And then what I learned in, inthat process was that the best
way to learn is your experience,at least for me.
Mm-hmm.
because having spoken, havinghad the opportunity to speak in
London and Jamaica and SouthAmerica Canada, all over the

(59:31):
world, I've been speaking SpainParaguay, everywhere.
I learned best throughexperience.
And there's things that I wasnever taught by any of the top
speakers in the world.
I was never taught.
Some of the things that I knownow about public speaking So, a
lot of it I learned throughexperience and it's just mm-hmm.

(59:53):
been, but I just felt obligated.
Like, if this is something I'mgoing to do and people are
asking me to do, I'm not justgoing to go out and do anything.
I need to invest in myself.
So, yeah, I strongly believethat you need to continue to
reinvest in yourself.
And I still do.
I am a member of the NationalSpeakers Association.
I'm you know, I still, still getall these CERT certifications.

(01:00:16):
I'm a master trainer for DISpersonality assessments.
Mm-hmm.
So I still continue to investmyself so that I can continue to
add value to others.
And I believe that you neverquit learning, that you just
have to keep investing inyourself if you wanna invest in
others.

Bradley Roth (01:00:31):
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
I agree.
Was it, what, how old were youwhen you bought back the
company?

Dr. Marie Cosgrove (01:00:36):
I was, how old was I?
I was already old.
I was 39.
39.
That's not that old years old.
Yeah.
I was like, I already, I wasalready old.

Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, in your thirties.
I, I would, I would say businesswise, that's still fairly young
to be acquiring companies andstuff, you know what I mean?
So that's that's amazing.
And then now you're in, you gotyour PhD and you are in what
field Business.

(01:01:13):
but like within business, likewas it life sciences or

Oh yeah.
Woodfield.
I'm in, I'm in.
Yeah.
Life sciences.
Okay.
So my company, what we do is wehelp doctors diagnose dizziness,
concussion, traumatic bra, braininjuries.
It's a very niche, very nicheindustry.
So my clients includeVanderbilt, Yale, university of
Miami, Dartmouth.
Yeah.
All these universities and ourUS military uses our equipment.

(01:01:39):
Hmm.
So you heard the saying, theeyes are the windows to the
soul, right?
Yes.
The eyes truly are the windowsto the soul.
They really are.
So we, you know what, I actuallyhave one with me right now, so
this looks like a VR headset,right?
But it looks nicer than it VRheadset.
It's way smaller, way smallerand a lot more lightweight.
We have a patent on it and wegot this pa before I bought the

(01:02:00):
company we got, and we'vedeveloped more patents since we
got this patent back in 2006.
So it's been a long time sincewe've had this technology.
But the patient pretty muchwears this.
And on a separate screen theysee like a stimulus and

(01:02:21):
depending on the torsionalmovement of the eyes, this is
gonna be so boring for your, youmight wanna cut this off, but
they see the tors, depending onthe torsional movement of the
eyes, we can determine ifthere's a problem with the
central nervous system becauseeverything's connected or the
vestibular system.
And your vestibular system iswithin your inner ear.
You have You've, you've heardthe, have you heard the saying,

(01:02:42):
you might be too young cause oldpeople use this.
You've got rocks in your head.
Have you heard that saying?
I have you got, that person hasrocks in their head.
Okay.
You really do have rocks in yourhead.
they're little miniature ones,and if they become dis they're
called Canada, so they becomedislocated.
You lose your sense of balancewhere you are in space and time.
Mm-hmm.
And so the room's dizzy and youlike Totally.

(01:03:05):
But they can be repositioned.
But the doctor needs to know,well, what side is it?
The left side, the right side?
Which ear could you know thecanal and mm-hmm.
Or is it a problem?
You know, did you have traumaticbrain injury?
And it.
Can be determined by thetorsional movement of the eyes.
And it's a very specializedequipment that you can't see
with a naked eye.
And so we use this to as adiagnostic tool.

(01:03:27):
So doctors that specialize inbalanced disorders, in dizziness
and concussion or traumaticbrain injuries, they use this
within five minutes.
They can do an assessment.
They can say, oh wow, this iswhat's going on.
And then we have a device fortreating.
So improve cog cognition,improve balance, and things of
that nature.
And that's like a, a series thata patient goes through for like

(01:03:50):
15 sessions, 15 to 20 sessions,depending on what's wrong,
depending on the diagnosis.
And so it's something thatdoctors use.
And so that's the industry thatI am in and it's extremely
specialized.
When I bought the company, therewas only three manufacturers in
the US who did this, just threeof us.

(01:04:11):
Wow.
Now there's just like two of usleft.
you know?
Well, no, there was four cuz itwas that other company.
There was four, there's just twoof us left.
You know, that's it.
So there's not a lot ofcompetition, but there is a lot
of competition, but there's not,because this is all we do.
Mm-hmm.
and my competitors, they doeverything from A through Z.

(01:04:33):
So we're the best at what we dobecause this is all we do.
So.
Gotcha.
You know, and it was developedby clinicians.
So did I fire anybody?
No, because they're the best atwhat they do.
You know, they just didn'tunderstand business, but they
understand the science, theyunderstand the technology.
I'm not a scientist in thatfield in that regard.

(01:04:53):
Now I do, now I know everythingabout it.
Right.
At the time I didn't, so I hadto educate myself in it.
I had to invest in, in educationand all of that.
But to answer your question, no.
We still have the top engineersin the world and we have the top
scientists in this field thatare part of the team.

I love it.
That's super cool.
Yeah, the riches are in theniches, as they say.
So Yeah, I, I mean, I feel likeI could, I could just keep
rattling off questions likethat.
You gave me so much to go off ofin your story and everything
else, but I think you know, ifwe gotta start wrapping it up
here soon.
But I gotta ask you the questionthat I ask everyone who comes on
the show, and that is, what isyour definition of not most

(01:05:35):
people or, or what do you thinkwhen you hear that?

When I, when I heard the title of your
podcast, not most people, I'mlike, that is a cool podcast.
That is awesome.
I love the title because to methat means is not the sea of
people.
Like, you know, everybody.
I feel like.
Everybody thinks the same, youknow, but most people don't
wanna rock the boat.
Most people wanna keep thepeace.

(01:06:00):
Most people just, you know, theywant everything to be smooth.
I'm not gonna say anything toinsult somebody.
Or maybe this could be donebetter, be better, better,
better, stay quiet.
Not most people are thosepeople, that small percentage
that are No, I'm gonna stand upfor what's right.
They're like the Martin LutherKings, you know, they're like
the, you know, you know, allthese amazing people that

(01:06:24):
actually take a stand.
And today's Martin Luther Kingdays.
That's why I, yeah, but veryappropriate.
You know, they're the peoplethat, that take a risk and say
what they truly believe, eventhough it goes against the grain
of what's popular in culture orin society.
And they're like, you know what?
This, this may be pro this maybe popular, this may be the

(01:06:46):
status quo, but it doesn't makeit right.
And so I need to take a stand.
So that's not most people.
For me.
Yes.

Yeah, no, that's for me too.
That's very similar to how Ithink of it, is those, those
people who stand out from thecrowd, who think different, who
do it different, who you knoware authentically themselves,
whatever, you know, that mightbring.
And so I love that answer.
So thank you for that.
And before we officially wrapup, I also want to know, you

(01:07:14):
know, for those listening, wherecan they find you?
I know you have your book, yourspeaking, all that stuff.
So we'll have a little links inthe show notes as well.
But is there anything inparticular that you would like
to share with your audience interms of what you have going on
and, and where they can reachyou?

Well on social media, you can reach me
at Resilient Expert and mywebsite is marie cosgrove.com.
So it's just my name and so youcan just follow me there.
Some things that I'm doing, I'mnot sure when you're gonna
release this, but I have I'mgoing to be a keynote for Create
Event in Atlanta, Georgia.

(01:07:50):
That is going to be the 26th,27th, and 28th of January.
And amazing speakers, ed Mylet,John Maxwell, myself, Ken
Joslin, and other amazingspeakers will be there.
So that's the next big eventI'll be at.
Other than that, I've got abunch of private events,

(01:08:10):
corporate events that I'm bookedup and I'll be speaking at this
month, but, that's for thepublic, for everyone to go to.
And so I'm just, you know, ifyou follow me, you'll be able to
see what I'm doing.
I also do, this is something wedidn't talk about.
I do standup comedy Oh wow.
That's fun.
I didn't know that.
Fun stuff.
Yeah.

(01:08:30):
You know, having lived my lifewith my mom, I've got so much
material, and with four kids, SoI, that's what I do for fun.
And so tomorrow night I'm goingto be at a com comedy show.
I'm going to be doing standupcomedy, so I do that wherever I
go.
You know, I try to get booked todo a standup show somewhere and

(01:08:55):
that's always fun.
That's, that's just always ablast.

That's awesome.
How long have you been doingthat?

I just started in March of 2022 and I'm
loving it.
I did a comedy inspirationalshow show for a church that was
so much fun.
I just, I get a lot out ofmaking other people laugh and
just seeing them laugh makes mehappy.
mm.
So I enjoy it a lot, like a lot,a lot.

(01:09:24):
So I'm sure.
So that's kind of my new littlehobby thing that I do.
So if you're ever in Ohioconnect with me and I will then
go hang out so you can watch medo comedy.

Awesome.
Yeah.
I love that you're constantlyexpanding the skillset and still
trying new things, even when youcould easily kind of sit back,
relax and, and do, just do whatyou're doing now.
But I like, I like how you'reexpanding out and I would say
that you are definitely not mostpeople and thank you so much for
coming on the show today.

Thank you so much for having me as a guest.
I really appre appreciate itBradley.
So, I'm just so honored to havebeen here.

Yes.
Yes.
Honored to have you.
So that's it for today's episodeguys.
Thank you again for tuning in asalways.
As I said in the beginning ofthe show, if you got value out
of this, please help me out.
Do me a solid by rating andreviewing the show however you
can, and sharing it with thatone person who is gonna get
something out of it.
I know you all know one person.

(01:10:23):
So thank you, Marie.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
We'll see you in the next one.
And always remember, don't bemost people.

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How To Be Resilient From The Woman Who Bought The Company That Fired Her with Marie Cosgrove - 087

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How To Be Resilient From The Woman Who Bought The Company That Fired Her with Marie Cosgrove - 087