Unleashing Your Power: Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs and Taking Control

In this episode, my guest, Steve Smith and I, delve into the topic of control and the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs. Through a captivating conversation, we uncover the desire for control in our lives and how it often goes beyond material wealth. From the longing for a stress-free life to pursuing passions and hobbies, we discuss the tragic reality of settling for unhappiness and the liberating moment when one realizes they have a choice.

As Nate and Steve share personal stories and insights, they highlight the role of consistency and small wins in creating momentum towards a more fulfilling life. The discussion also delves into the powerful influence of money on our mindset, challenging the conventional notions surrounding wealth and success. With anecdotes and reflections, the hosts emphasize the importance of redefining our relationship with money and how it can be a tool for positive change and making a lasting impact.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Coming up in this episode of not-so-secret dad's business.
You don't have to come to me andtell me your life story and all
of a sudden change your way, it's just about knowing that the
there are tools out there to help you, you know, if you want
to go it along you can go it alone.
But have to at least have the tools at least have the right
tools. You know, at least learn the

(00:20):
techniques. Are you new to fatherhood?
Not sure if your dad into your full potential.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Most dad's aren't talking to each other about their lives as
dad's look at some kind of secret.
Well, this is the podcast that takes the secret out of
fatherhood. This is not so secret dad's

(00:41):
business. You do get a, welcome to another
episode of not-so-secret dad's business.
Everyone thanks for your patience.
This last couple of weeks, I haven't put out a recent
episode, but you know, things happen, right?

(01:04):
A couple of weeks ago, I had my first wedding anniversary.
And so I decided to release an encore episode with Sarah and
nippy. Talking about how they got out
of the Nexium cult and blew the whistle there, and then last
week among Issues. I was still recovering from a
cold as well, so I decided to take the week off and to

(01:26):
recuperate. So anyway, this week I have a
dad from the UK, his name is Steve Smith.
Steve is a dad's coach in the UKand we had awesome conversation
about breaking free from limiting beliefs and taking
control of our lives. So, in this episode Steve and I

(01:48):
delve into the topic of control and the importance It's of
Breaking Free from limiting beliefs and this is something I
really struggle with. Now, this episode is a little
bit of an older one, again, out of the archives, from a bunch of
recordings I did last year. So, in this episode, you'll hear
that Steve had to step back fromwork because of injuries and

(02:09):
whatnot. But I recently spoke to Steve
and he gave me the great news that he's back at full health
and back at work, which is always a good thing to hear.
I know for a lot of dads that ata lot of that identity and
self-esteem can be tied up in their jobs and what they can do
as a provider, how they can provide for their family.
So I think it's awesome that Steve's.

(02:30):
Now back at work and continuing on with what he loves to do.
So anyway, without further Ado, I present you my conversation
with Steve Smith How are you Mike?

(02:59):
Thanks so much for coming on theshow today.
Cheers mate, thanks for having me.
I'm excited. Well, look, you reached out to
me stage because you have had quite an interesting story.
You want to share so So just to kick us off.
Give us a little bit of your background and what you're all
about mate. Yeah.
So my name is Steve. I live in the UK and I'm 46.

(03:22):
I've had, you know, some of yourlife to most people, lots of ups
and downs and what it just makesyou stronger kind of.
I'm that kind of guy yet, but everything was Rosy, everything
was good. My partner's wasn't the
greatest, the last couple of years with medicine, she had our
son but I was strong. I had a really, really good job.

(03:44):
I was in the lift industry for 16 years and everything was
fine. You know, we had a beautiful
house, feel everything, and thenall of a sudden I started to get
a little bit ill last year and with some, I couldn't do my job,
I was losing strength and you know, I was the breadwinner, you
know, I was the dad. I was I was the strong one.

(04:05):
I had to be strong mentally, I had to be strong physically to
be a role model for my son but Side.
I was ill. I was, I was struggling
mentally. I was struggling physically
because I didn't know what was wrong.
I was losing my balance. I was losing memory like Like
silly things like forgetting like, literally, I have a pen in

(04:28):
my hand. I was looking for a pen and
we're looking for my glasses, I've actually got them on, you
know, I actually don't realize Ican see what this was, and this
was something really wrong. So, you know, I did all the
things went to the doctors and then they were still doing tests
and then I walked into it work, one day and I collapsed, I
literally fell through a wooden table in front of everybody,

(04:51):
dislocated my shoulder. I was out for the count, nobody
knew what was happening. And bearing in mind, I worked in
lift shaft, so, you know, some high-rises, you know.
So there was a massive risk to me to the company and everything
and everything went just downhill and I, and I was being
fobbed off every five minutes but it by the GPS here and it

(05:13):
was during covid. So everything was that excuse,
wasn't it, you know, it affectedeverybody and, you know, and I
look back on it and Look back onit, as a, okay, it was tough,
but, you know, people were losing their lives, people
losing family, people weren't seeing family, you know, I know,
I know people who live in Australia, you know, they didn't

(05:35):
see family in the UK while they still haven't, you know, because
of the, because of the laws are not a laws of quite still strict
in Australia. So, you know, it was a tough
time for everyone so I don't look back on it or pull me but
when you're in the middle of something, you know what it's
like, you know, when you're really something You can't see
the wood for the trees, you know?

(05:55):
And it was really, really tough and I just insist, I knew there
was something wrong. I just knew there's something
wrong and it was strange becauseI went to the doctor about five
or six times. And I'm not saying, you know, it
was his fault but he just wouldn't give me an MRI.
There's some reason and I just and I think it was the fifth
time I went and it was a different doctor.

(06:16):
The young guy And he looked at me and he said, that's usually a
bit confused. He said, where are your MRI
results? I can't find them on the system.
And I said, what do you mean? He said, well, you've had an MRI
right? No.
No, he said, well, everything you've been telling me here, you
should have had an MRI by now and he got me straight on the
thing. I got in the hospital, couple of

(06:38):
weeks later, have them or any found a brain tumor.
They found a brain tumor, right near my cerebellum, which
obviously affects motor skills and everything.
And my, well, it all fell out, you know, head without being too
crude. Every the world's dropped and I
was I was in a in a bad way and whether it's the universal,

(06:59):
whatever the same day, a friend reached out to me and he didn't
have a clue what was going on and he reached out to me and
sent me a meditation. And I, I did this meditation and
all of a sudden, I realized thatI actually I could actually do
something about this and I couldactually control this.

(07:20):
So, instead of it was the most surreal thing, you know what, I
went through the emotions of noteven knowing whether it was
cancerous, or didn't know, if I was going to die.
I didn't know anything to all ofa sudden having this hang on.
I can connect to the universe ata higher level here.
So, I did that, And then I started to get stronger and

(07:40):
stronger, mentally, mindset wiseand and it dawned on me that I
couldn't do my job for much longer, really because it's it's
a fit. It was a physical job.
I had to be, you know, I'm a toes high-risk really So I
decided, well, what can I do? You know, I'm learning the skill
here and a strength that I probably knew I had, but it's

(08:05):
not until your backs up against the wall where you're actually.
You actually, you know, y'all have many, many listeners who.
Hopefully, this is what I want to tell my story because
hopefully they either there at this point where, where the back
is against the wall or they can relate to it, because they've
been through similar thing. I felt I just found this in a

(08:28):
found something inside me. That was like, not like this.
You're not going out like this. So I became, I started to learn
how to become a coach. I started to learn how to help
people through similar situations.
I started as a pain management coach but I was still working in

(08:48):
lift industry and then I got laid off from a job and I was
like, okay so what now You know do I go back into an industry
door? Get a nine-to-five job, I could
get it. I could get well, paid job, you
know I'm I'm highly skilled engineer, but What comes with
that is stress is you know, the more the more money you are you,

(09:11):
you know what, it's like made the more money you earn, the
more stress you get is. That's right, that's right.
Yeah, yeah. So I said, well, well I've got
this motto at the moment that I use in my coaching is something
has to give, right? If you don't have balance in
your life, you have to sacrificesomething.
Whether it's your family, whether it should career or

(09:32):
whether it's your health, something will sacrifice.
Ice. And I noticed that I saw that
and then so I created the dad's coach and I started doing a
little bit locally or started then getting clients online
through Facebook and stuff. And I thought, well, I could do
this as a, you know, this is, I could do this as a career

(09:54):
because it was the authenticity,it was, it was like they were
seeing. I was diagnosed with
fibromyalgia, is well, it seemedtime which is, which is a
horrible condition. Yeah.
Have I have a friend with fibromyalgia and I mean the poor
woman, she goes through hell andback every day.
So I do not answer every every know every single day on

(10:17):
fighting the Battle of this but I've never been so positive a
normal IQ. Like I'm I'm creating hopefully
creating a legacy for my son. I'm creating something you know,
bit like yourselves a bit of a go to space for for dads Because
Cause let's face it. There isn't, there's nothing in
the UK for that. I don't know what it's like in

(10:39):
Australia. Obviously, you know, you guys
have started this for a reason. Hmm.
Because there's a gap, you know that there's a massive Gap open.
We're still the UK is still a long way, but I deal with a lot
of guys didn't in America because I find that their little
bit more open to they're a bit more kind of advanced in the

(11:00):
asking for help. Hmm.
Whether that's a societal thing,it probably is.
The UK was still very, very close, you know, we're still
part of this manner Brigade, youknow, you just get on with it,
you just crack on with it and weit kind of hit home recently
what like, why I'm doing it. What what?

(11:20):
I'm doing, a friend of mine, hisson, but we were due to go out
but while we were out for some beers and his son was supposed
to join us, he's 22, my friend, Neil can't get ahold of him went
and his house following morning and found him hung.
I need a two young children, very, very young children and
and I just thought You know thatwe've created this, like this

(11:46):
Society is created this, you know, and and I just want to get
more story across that even if you hello.
You know, it's okay to reach outit in here.
You don't have, you don't have, you don't have to.
You don't have to come to me andtell me your life story and all
of a sudden change your way. It's just about knowing that the

(12:07):
there are tools out there to help you.
There are, you know, if you wantto go it along you can go it
alone but have to To, at least have the tools at least have the
right tools. You know, at least learn the
techniques of people like yourself and you know,
experience of many people that you probably have on the show
you know. Like you don't have to pick

(12:28):
people think that we should now is been soft.
You know. Again it's a size of the
societal thing, you know. Again it's especially in the UK.
Like I said, I don't know what it's like in in Australia such
poor. There's a very much a It's it's
not the done thing, you know, it's not a manly thing to talk
about problems. No, it's very much the same

(12:51):
here. I think it is starting to relax
a little bit but of course beinga country.
That started as a British colony, a lot of those was that
a lot of those cultural things, societal things naturally came
here. And so, you know, guys here,
it's for the majority part of it.

(13:12):
They're tough. Tough as Nails guys, and they
just suck it up. Let's move on.
We got a job to do but who cares?
I'll deal with that later and I mean yeah.
Again this it like with your friend's son it's a similar
issue where men suicide rates are through the roof because
they're not reaching out and nottalk and they're not just asking

(13:35):
the questions or even just go and hamate.
I'm having a rough time, you know, and sitting down and
having a beer. And just talking, you know, and
that's that is why I started this podcast because I had a lot
of issues that I was trying to work through.
I don't have the biggest friend base and, and it's funny in the

(13:57):
last two years. With this podcast, I've started
making friends, you know. And and so now, I'm not so
insular. I'm not so isolated anymore.
But yeah, the like this podcast has sort of been like my own
personal. Therapy because I talk to men
like yourself. I've spoken a psychotherapist,

(14:17):
I've spoken to porn management coaches.
I've spoken to so many differentpeople and to bring it back to
what you were saying. It's amazing that I've learned
all these tools because now I put them all in the toolbox and
when I have one of those momentsbut okay, I know what to do
here. I know how to how to, how to

(14:40):
cope, how to manage this. Rather than just pushing it
down. And wait for that.
Pressure cooker to go off. Yeah, absolutely.
It's about what what I've learned is is that you are, you
are not the mind and you're not the body, right?
So you can control these things,you know, they it's about

(15:01):
acknowledging, what's going on, but almost saying to almost
seemed to it, look, I'm in control, right?
I can manage this. I know, you know, when I, when I
get my pain because you get caught a cycles of it with with
fibromyalgia really. The, and, and most of the time,
we don't notice it anymore because I've acknowledged it and
I said to the mind and listen, please remind me when my arm is,

(15:24):
you know, when Rob, when I've lost an arm or my legs hanging
off. You, please remind me then, but
you don't have to keep remindingme every five minutes that I've
got a chronic pain, because it'snot going to go away like it's
there. So, and it's about the
narrative. I like to change the narrative
on things. I like to flip.
I like to flip it and and, and, you know, and and be positive.

(15:46):
It's it. It's about for me, it's a lot
of, you know, I am trying to create a business of course, but
for me, it's about getting the message out that, you know, I
try and squash the myth about. I don't know what you think
about, like, meditation and mindfulness stuff.
I don't know if you do, if you do much, but like it's about

(16:08):
squashing, the myth of that, youknow, meditation isn't about
looking like Russell Brand and floating on a cloud and, you
know, it's not it's not, it can be, it can be.
And, you know, Kudos to him. But yeah, it's not just about
that, you know, it means to it, the definition of meditation is
to know thyself, mmm. It's just to get to know

(16:28):
yourself and it's about being present, you know.
And the most, the most powerful thing we have the most powerful
thing, but on the planet, right?That can keep us present and
that's our breath. Absolutely.
That's focusing on our tuning into our breath because this
demo, let's face it with, you know, So, I know it's not a

(16:50):
science show, but, you know, thethings we see aren't necessarily
right then, because of the speedof light in.
And, and I would like travels the speed of sound, you know,
how that travels, nothing nothing's as exact as in right
now except for your breath. You know, when you've got
headphones on any of tuning in to your breath and you're
extending your breath breathing like properly, you know, in

(17:14):
through your nose and then out through your mouth, that is the
most powerful tool. I don't know why are you
coaching that I do some. I do a couple of hours in a
college for underprivileged children.
Well, under privileged kind of teenagers, you know, what?
I've been literally kicked out of school.
And we did some stuff yesterday and the reaction when I got

(17:36):
them, breathing, like, instantly, like afterwards, you
know, even when they were messing around, they just less.
It was, it was almost like, really light-hearted, it was
like there's no animosity and And, and the guy, my boss, he
looked at me and I said, wow. It was like, what?
Like instantly and I said, because you can't fake it, you

(17:59):
kept your cat, it's your body. Like your, if you're if you if
you're doing this to your body eventually like any addiction,
right? Your body would wants this.
Yeah. What's this feeling?
It wants to be relaxed. It doesn't want to be stressed.
You know. It wants to be No, and it will

(18:20):
remind you on to. It will tell you what, hang on a
minute. But normally normally you in the
car, showing some Geezer are cutting you up.
Well, actually you're sat down, you've been calm for sale quite
like this. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's one thing I like
about meditation, as well as that meditation, like you said,
isn't about looking like a guru and sit in there and with the

(18:42):
legs crossed and the, you know, the hands there.
And everything I find my meditation is when I I'm at the
gym when I'm when I'm lifting orI'm on the treadmill or
something. And I really find that that
Rhythm and I'm just I mean, especially when I'm lifting, I'm
focusing on my breathing and I'm, I'm counting the Reps and

(19:05):
that sort of thing. And that sort of really just
shuts everything else off and it's just me and that moment.
Yeah. And so like you say it's not
about having to wake up, you know, 20 minutes earlier to sit
there and And meditate or anything like that.
It's, it can be as simple as just going to the gym and

(19:26):
focusing on your breathing whileyou're working out.
Yeah. And you know, I was taught the
technique really really strange,but it's brush your teeth with
your opposite hand. Yeah, so, you know what, you can
you get over, get up in the morning and we it like probably
kept about you, you know, if youbrush your teeth because your
your breasts minty, but you probably can't remember the

(19:48):
actual process or what you did because it's such an automated
thing that we do every day, right?
Yep. Try it with your opposite hand
because all of a sudden you've got to concentrate and then all
of a sudden all of us. So so I, you know, try and break
the routine, the monotonous routine of everyday, you know,
if it, if you're in a situation where you don't necessarily like

(20:12):
job, and you're waking up every morning and your bit lethargic,
you know, it's important. How you start your day?
No, you only need five minutes and, and I highly recommend.
Are you guys, are you guys feeling winter?
Now, Luger now we've just moved in the spring.
Okay, nice, nice. I recommend that the moment.
It's all grass is quite damp with just coming out of a couple
getting into Autumn soon. Grass is quite damp, but it's

(20:34):
still quite warm, it's still quite mild.
So I go In the morning, Barefoot, I'm just just walk on
the grass, you know, there's something really beautiful and
if you're lucky enough to have trees around you, you know, it
just visually seeing things thatare green visually know.
They could use oxygen as well to.
It's very, very good to be in that.
It's about five minutes, you only need five minutes.

(20:58):
There's one of my mentors is a mentor.
It's guy who I followed a guy called dr.
Joe dispenza now, I don't know if you ever heard of, I highly
And I highly recommend that yourlisteners Google him because
he's, he's a, he's a Quantum physicist and a neuroscientist.
So he's quite an intelligent fellow single obviously.

(21:19):
Cuz yeah, that learned all that,he caralho know that I love of
this is going to die but yet hisThe way he looks at things and
and he talks about living in thepast and stuff is very, very I
think it's fantastic because he talks about how the brain reacts
and the mind react to past experiences and how that can

(21:42):
actually make you live literallylive your life.
Like you're living in a past. And, and, and it caught that was
one of the things that triggeredsomething in me that, you know,
if you of constantly thinking ofyour past and you're creating
the emotion, your body, Look thedifference between you going for
with Roma and reliving the trauma.

(22:03):
So your future is just going to be like it's predictable future
because it's your past, it's already happened.
Yep. You know, so I think it's very,
very important to be in touch with present, be in touch with
nature because let's face it. The only thing, nothing was ever
created in the past, or in the present and the future was only
created now, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

(22:26):
So it wasn't An amazing amazing thing.
I listened to him and and he wasbeing interviewed by Jay Shetty
who's quite effective was quite famous as well.
He's very, very good and Jay Shetty mentions about one of the
biggest things he gets is, oh, Idon't have time to meditate.
And Joe dispenza said, well, yousaid there is a theory that

(22:46):
everybody should meditate for 10minutes unless you're really
busy, then you should meditate for one hour.
Okay, well, the more on that. So the more busy you are likely
more stressed, you are the more you need meditation, okay?
Makes sense. But this ain't for an hour.
I, you know, I meditate twice a day, haven't missed a day.

(23:09):
Since since I started to get ill, it, smell a positive habit,
as I like to call it and and if I go mid morning and I've not
had my morning meditation, my body, craves it now, you know,
engraves that but no, don't do the same thing, you know, I do
grow sometimes a good grounding gratitudes, very, very important

(23:30):
as well. Gratitudes one thing that I
think if I could give three tipsit would be to be grateful like
true gratitude have a gratitude Journal be mindful.
So of how you speaking to yourself you know how you
speaking to other people becausethat normally portrays how you
are as a person you know if you're if you're kind of person

(23:53):
who dig in people out all the time that's reflective of you
you know the universe is reflection so yep it normally
sells up. It's not an issue with them.
It's it's possible. She review.
So it's time to looking and And I think, and I think to be
present, be present as much as you can, you know, try, try to
avoid the escapism, you know, some people's lives.

(24:16):
You know, they want to escape from, but, but don't go to
something because you're trying to escape from something, get
yourself, right? And then when you go to this
thing, you know, be there the best version of you, because I
thought that's basically is, it's being the best version of
us. Right?
That's right. That's right.
That's right. Yeah, and I it's funny you say

(24:37):
that as well because I mean before I started working on
myself and I did it kind of subconsciously as well.
I didn't realize I was working on myself until I started nurse
noticing changes and I was like,oh, wow, but I mean, yeah, like
escapism was a big one for me, you know, I'm an alcoholic of

(24:59):
20, odd years, I've been sober, I've lost track now, but I think
it's Almost a year and raising don't lose track.
Well, maybe a little longer, I'mnot entirely sure.
I don't lose track of that because that's your, yeah, you
need to keep track, no, because that's your, that's your badge.
That's, that's something to celebrate.

(25:21):
Yeah. So yeah.
So alcohol was the big one that I would escape and what I found
is like your worst, you do Escape your life for a little
while but then you wake up in the morning especially We as an
alcoholic, wake up in the morning, you've got a hangover,
you feel like crap, you haven't slept well, and so you starting

(25:43):
your day off really crappy as well.
And so, then you it's really easy to repeat that cycle.
But the other thing that I'm that, I'm trying to say is those
that, that your problems catch up to you still, and they just
compare and off on the side there while you're not thinking
about it, it just keeps growing and growing.

(26:03):
And so, by the time, The time you do come to dealing with
that. It's a bigger problem than what
it was when it first started andyou were just trying to escape
it. So I'm glad you brought that up.
That escapism is one thing that You know, prevents us from being
present being in the moment and being our best selves to deal

(26:26):
with that. Yeah.
Because because because what thething is, I think one of most
important lessons is that is thepast thing because because what
people don't like their reality,that's why they escaped.
But but that their reality isn'ttheir reality though, it's the

(26:46):
past, they've created this reality out of their past.
Now, if the past is a negative past their bed, this is why the
feeling crap now? Because they haven't dealt with
the past, they suppress it, you know, especially as fellas, we
suppress a lot of things and it's and you know, whether it's

(27:07):
In the coach, whether it's it's hard to do on your own.
And this is, why being a coach is very, very important, you
know, because all I do is the coach's eye.
I listen to what you want clients saying, well, I don't
have the answers, you've got theanswers.
That's the thing, the client as the answers, I've just got I
call, I call it. Like there's loads of doors,

(27:28):
right? Stopping you from getting where
you want to get to. I've got a massive bunch of keys
and between this, we figure out which key goes to which door,
right? So, so like, You have so many
things going around when you're stressed.
You've got your money problems going around in your head.
If you've got relationship problems, you've got, you know,
problems with the kids. Maybe your relationship with the

(27:50):
kids because everything else is just blurred, you've got work.
You've got all these different things, right?
And each one of those has a subsection and each one of those
has a subsection. And before, you know, it, you've
got a hundred things going around in your head.
Yeah. So what I like to do is I like
to declutter first Move all the weeds because write things down,

(28:10):
right? Journaling things are very
important. It doesn't work for everybody
but white stuff that because allof a sudden your mind is not
required. It doesn't have to remind you of
something that you can physically.
See ya, your mind ago. Oh, I've got ten things to tell
you but none of them are writtendown, right?
The only one you want written down.
Is this right? It will.
It's a computer. It's a computer of all these

(28:32):
memories, right? And if you've got negative
memories in there, then it's Going to keep and, and also your
mind is designed to keep your life, right?
The under thought Neanderthal, man, you know, would have gone
in try petting, a saber-toothed tiger if it's mine didn't say,
well, I wouldn't do that if I was you, you know?
I mean, it had that they'd been mauled to death when they so,

(28:54):
you know, it's primitive, right?So it's there to Keep Us Alive,
but unfortunately, because we'vebeen fed many many things over
the years. These the computer has been put
with limiting beliefs, which most most limiting beliefs, in
fact, all limiting beliefs don'tbelong to us.
They've been given us given to us, you know, we we normally

(29:18):
compile these limiting beliefs by putting the story behind it.
That's probably not true. You know, that your mind kind of
added to over the years. Yep.
You know your remember a story and then and actually when you
when you say it out loud, you goto death and like that.
All what I can't quite remember,but your mind just makes your

(29:38):
mind. This adds to it.
So if that's someone's life and that's - then your mind, just
going to keep adding these negative things in all, you
can't be like, you can't do that, you know, all that's out
of your comfort zone. Well, I'm going to minute if
you're not happy. How comfortable is?
Will Comfort Zone? If you're not happy?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And that's that's one thing I'vefound as well with myself.

(29:59):
Is that even at the beginning ofthe pandemic, I was really
struggling with depression self-worth issues, self-esteem
issues. Like, I felt like the biggest
piece of shit that God put breath into, right?
And what I found was that my depression as much as I thought

(30:20):
it was clinical. I was taking medication and all
that sort of thing. It was more environmental and it
wasn't so much the things aroundme because I had a beautiful
partner, a beautiful son, I havelike a roof over my head.
When I have food in my that I had everything that I could

(30:41):
possibly need but I was still depressed.
And and the depressing environment was up here.
It was running that Loop of all that - shit that I've been
through and like you say Say is that it feels like although it
feels like although you're reliving that trauma, it feels

(31:02):
like you're living that trauma for the first time.
But you're doing it over and over and over and over again.
And so what I found was that I had to change something in that
- system just one thing. Now for me, that was that was
finally, you know, letting go ofmy old man and having Clapped

(31:25):
eyes there because that was justnot a good relationship for me.
I put a lot of my self-worth into what I thought like what he
thought and you know what, because I wasn't meeting his
expectations. I must be a shit person, all
this sort of stuff and by cutting just that one tie, it

(31:48):
made me realize that. Hey, hang on, like I've still
got this and I've got this and like life lights.
So bad. Now, I'm not saying that just
cutting that one tie. Just overnight fixed everything.
I've had a lot of work to do andI've still got a lot of work
ahead of me as well, but that was that first thing that sort

(32:11):
of made things a little more bearable if that makes sense.
And I was like, well, things aren't so, things are so bad.
So how can I start improving other aspects of my life?
And And I think it's because I free got that section that was
just constantly looping over at keeping me in that in the past

(32:33):
and that negative mindset that Luke was no longer there.
So I had some sort of like in a way freed up the random access
memory and new programs were able to run effectively and I'm
now in a great position in my life where you know, I've got a

(32:53):
beautiful wife. A beautiful son, I'm sober.
I've got a good job, you know. And I've got people around me
that loved me and I couldn't seethat, but couldn't see that
beforehand. All I could use that - shit.
Yeah. And if you learn to love
yourself a bit more because thisis the issue.

(33:15):
Right with men, it's hard to admit about loving yourself
because because we've been told that that's Vain and that's bad
and and you know it's selfish. Well it's not actually you know
it's not selfish they're like that is one thing I'm still
working on I love myself more than I did but yes I am still

(33:36):
still working on that like I look in the mirror sometimes.
Okay God I hate the way I look Ican't change it.
This is my faves this is my body, right?
But I look at my son. I ky pal, but that's okay.
I'll overcome that at some point.
You know, I really don't need togo and live Island mates.

(33:57):
You're right. If you fine.
No, that's it, that's it. I don't mean I'm not heading to
what I base or anything so I guess it doesn't matter.
But yeah like he say like well what's he can free up that that
mindset and that that little bitof space there then you can
start working on yourself you intern you Start loving yourself

(34:20):
more. Yeah, actually six.
One thing that I strongly strongly believe in and that's
there is nothing. There is nothing on this planet.
There's nothing external of you that will make you truly happy
or through this up, nothing. It's only your perception of
that thing that allows you to betruly happy with truly sad.

(34:42):
So, what I say is just Everyone loves a selfie, these days,
right? Just flip the camera around,
right? You might not like what you see
initially, but you've got to flip the camera and you've got
to start looking internally and what you'll find is love, you'll
find, true, love in there, you'll find success.
You'll find unlimite unlimited like everything, right,

(35:05):
unlimited abundance. Joy you'll find everything that
you truly desire inside problem is, it's entangled with loads
and loads of shit. All right, load. so, it's about
One at a time. Chopping down those weeds.
So it's a it's a joke. And what I find is once you
start doing it right, it does gather momentum because you're

(35:27):
free. Like you say, you're freeing up
of positive things, positivity attracts positivity, right?
Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, it's
physics, right? So if you, if you start doing
positive things and we're still looking in here, right?
The camera, still us, right? And you start looking at
actually, what you truly Uli have and this is what a

(35:49):
gratitude journal and this is why it's helped you know
massively helped you. The Gratitude Journal is so
important because it allows you to think less materialistic more
actually about the things that will truly make you happy
writing. But your perception has to be
right. You know, there are many people

(36:10):
out there who with the perfect partner with the perfect
partner, but they're not ready for that perfect person because
they're not, they're not right inside.
Then you're not right inside. So the end up sabotaging it, the
end up doing something, because self-sabotage is what they know.
That's all sabotages. What they do because they
haven't done that. They haven't flip that camera

(36:30):
and I'll tell you what. Once I've been flipping that
camera for 18 months and it's not There's like it doesn't end,
it just gets different and changes and then your you
identify for the challenges. But what does happen is when you
turn the camera, background is like somebody turns on 4K in
your head. All of a sudden, all of a

(36:51):
sudden, your perception of things are different.
Like I see, I see beauty in nature.
I see, I see it. You know I see different
textures, I just see and it's not like all oh my God, like I'm
on acid. It did not mean it's not like
that. It's just, my perception is
different and I look at things differently.

(37:13):
Now, I look at, I look at thingsthat someone's got an opinion of
me. Well, that's that's their,
that's their opinion of me. I've got my opinion of me.
My opinion of me is more important than their opinion, of
me. Yep.
You know, you could have your, Iuse the analogy.
You have two guys. Right?

(37:34):
To guys, sat in front of your one person, you You think
doesn't like you and the other person is your best mate and
they both call you a twat, rightlocally.
It's one your best mate, your go.
Yeah. But you're bigger tire or do not
mean, it's like nothing but thisguy that you think doesn't like
give all of a sudden you're going.
All right, what did you think ofas far?

(37:55):
What going to him to make me think I'm a God.
Am I trapped? What's up?
It's the same word. That's right.
Yes, it is very interesting. The word it's a word, but but
your perception of that word is now got you thinking about, and
I don't mean like make your aggressive so you knock him out.
It's just that you might start doubting yourself.
You might start thinking, what have I done like, oh my God,

(38:18):
like waiver. Why do you think I'm like, what?
What? Avoid them to him?
Hmm, it's maybe nothing. It's just a word, right?
It's his, he said. A word and it's how you deal
with that word and that's life. Yep, everything is perception.
Pain is perception, right? Success is just everything is

(38:40):
perception because once you start look like I said, once you
start trying and I'm nowhere near, I'm not certain only a
team like, I'm the finished article or one of them, but, and
it's at, like, I say, it's a battle and I I was a homeless
drug addict, 21 and I'm 25 yearssober.
Nice. Congratulations.
Yeah, thank you. And, you know, and I look at my

(39:03):
life now and and I've got a very, very good life and now I'm
creating a different one. You know, I'm creating and I'm
I'm doing something that I love,you know, I help people, you
know, One of my clients, had me sent me watching the post,
right? A very, very, very, very, very
nice work because I saved his marriage because I saved his
marriage and he had three children were all I did was I

(39:27):
did something that he paid me for to do.
So, I coached him but to him, Mesaving his marriage and his
children was worth. More than what like, because
what price can you put on these things?
And I do feel bit sometimes I feel like should I be like I
don't want to try some of these things.
I want to be able to give everything for free but then it

(39:48):
devalues what you're giving you know.
That's right this is this is not, this is the whole thing
about having a business. So what I've done now is, well,
I do affiliate marketing now andthe reason I've done a brilliant
marketing is to give the dance that I coach another Avenue.
So for example, if someone that I'd say I want to earn extra
cash and I've heard about affiliate marketing marketing.

(40:11):
I wouldn't know where to start. Well I I've done the courses
that they would have to do to become an affiliate marketer.
So then I say, well I would go into this.
Do this course first, you know, $17 you do that course first.
And then what I would do is download everything they say and
then I'd go into this guide and do this court to because I've
done it myself. So and it's and this is why my

(40:32):
my thing on Facebook is be mindful and make money.
And I found that actually offering that kind Service that
is well allows more dad's to approach me because I'm still
getting that especially in the UK.
I'm still getting that all. I've got loads of problems, but
I don't want to approach you. Yeah, but when you say, I can
help you make a bit of additional cash.

(40:55):
Yeah, it might not work, you know, might not be for you and
you've got to put the work in but you could potentially have
another new career from it. You know it's it's just another
way of these guys we teaching out to me and same actually.
Yeah you know I do need a bit ofextra capacity especially now
while I work our bills are goingto go, you know, to 4,000 4,000

(41:17):
pounds a year for fuel and for, you know, electric and stuff.
So so again it I'm evolving as aperson.
It was amazing. That's what you said earlier
because One of my, one of my clients.
It was such an amazing journey and we actually it was weird,
right? Because we're both quite light

(41:38):
at the end of it. Like he totally changed his life
around amazingly but but II feltlike I did this.
Well, I felt like every single session.
It was like I was looking in a mirror I August I was helping
him remove limiting beliefs and then I was thinking I've got

(42:00):
those limiting beliefs, this is what it was almost like he was
sent to me to like to reflect itwas like I was coaching myself
in the mirror. I have that all the time
especially with this podcast. Yeah I talked to some people as
like man, get out of my head. Yeah yeah but it's about I think
it's important that we as peoplewho want to we want To improve

(42:23):
people's lives. But I say, I say, I want to
change lives starting with my own.
You know, because of the more wechanged, more people.
We can help. Yeah.
That's right. You know, because the stronger,
the stronger we are, it's getting its testimonial, you
know? It's I'm a living.
I'm a living testimony. That actually you can be Delta

(42:44):
crap hand, you know, I didn't have an education.
Really, and no one more qualified engineer.
I'm an entrepreneur, like anything's possible if you if
you start believing in yourself you can't you can't put your
eggs into one basket. It's and believing in other
people because people will let you down.
Oh absolutely. That's cool.

(43:05):
Well, that's a truth. I learned that one the hard by
as well. Yeah, definitely you can let
yourself down as well but actually, you can choose not to
know that's wrong. It's control.
Isn't it? Like we won.
We really I think one of the things in life, when people say
oh I want money or want this actually we want control.

(43:26):
We want to be able to be in control of what we do and how we
live our lives. Lives and not everybody wants
loads and loads of money and pure wealth, they just want a
happy life but they're not stressing and not, you're not
living a 9 to 5 job. And one of the sad things is I
would challenge someone the other day and they said to me

(43:47):
that they are in a job that theyhate But they retire in eight
years so they're just holding onfor the time.
I said, I'd be miserable for another eight years.
I said you've just given up eight years of your life because
I said, what why I said, please,why?
And, and then two weeks of doingaffiliate marketing.

(44:08):
They've made about a thousand thousand dollars and just went,
oh, actually, I know, I know butit but it's a sometimes when
you're stuck in that thing, you just like it.
Oh it's easy. It's easier just to settle for
what I'm doing and just just butisn't that isn't that bit sad?
That isn't that like Isn't that a bit kind of?

(44:31):
Because honestly, like it's like, the light has gone on gone
out behind his eyes, you know, like I said.
But what you love to do? Oh, I used to, I used to go
fishing all the time. You know, I love taking mountain
bike out and, you know, it's gone through a lot of stuff and
I was like, but why don't you dothat stuff?
Now, I'm just too tired when I get home.
I was like, well, are you tired or are you just Lack of energy

(44:54):
because you're not doing these things.
I said, you know, get on your bike, go.
You're, you know, going to the gym will give you energy.
Yeah, right. When you wake up in the morning,
you got hammered bothered. I used to do gym at 6 at 6 a.m.
every single morning and it was like, like circuit circuit
training used to kill me. Absolutely kill me, but I was
done then and I realized that 6 a.m. was I had to do it 6 a.m.

(45:16):
because otherwise I'd have excuses.
Yeah so at night I'd go all not tonight.
I'm feeling a bit you know tiredor not tonight.
I'm hungry or, you know, there's, you want to try and
eliminate those excuses like, inthose berries.
Absolutely. Yes.
A look. I don't all the power to you,
Steve. Because I mean, I'm not a
morning person by any stretch ofthe imagination.

(45:38):
My old man always told me that he should have become a surgeon
because he needed a scalpel to get the bed off my back.
But you know like I'm very much the same that I mean, I'll try
and in the evenings. And and it's okay.
So if I come in, get changed outof my work clothes and I put on

(45:59):
something comfortable, my mind to straightaway up, relaxing
mode, put your feet up, big boy,let's watch some TV, you know,
but if I come in straight away, get in the shower.
Chuck on my gym clothes, my mindis like, okay, going to the gym,
going to the gym. And I can still do a handful of

(46:21):
other things. But my mind still going to come
on. Hurry up, get your stuff done.
We've got to get to the gym, youknow?
And that's that's one thing I'vefound is, it's, it's those
little things that sort of tell your brain.
Hey, look, okay. I did your brain will tell you,
I don't want to go to the gym and you as a person, you

(46:42):
interpret that of I don't want to go to the gym.
I'm tired but it's just our mindsaying that we're tight.
It's one of those limiting beliefs, right?
Yeah. And so when you make an action
working towards that direction, you're going to get there, you
know? So again like It's a case of

(47:03):
come home. Get out of my work clothes
shower. Once the gym clothes are on, I'm
engine load off. I go then after I get home I can
relax and do what I need to do. Yeah, yeah, no absolutely.
And and I think I think limitingbeliefs are what's holding most

(47:24):
of us back. Hmm.
Especially especially when it's raining money aspect, especially
money absolute because if you'veever if you've ever been told
Old money doesn't grow on trees.Money is the root of all evil.
My mum used to say, who do you think I am Rothschild.
I didn't even know Rothschild was, you know, but but I didn't
even know it inside. I would go.
What are you not to know? But if you've heard any of these

(47:47):
things, right? It's all of a sudden it puts in
your mind that and only people without money, say these things,
right? So and they say, oh, is it
money? Goes to money, goes to money.
Yes, and there's a reason behindthat is because they have the
money. In set of somebody who can
manage money invest money, like,not necessarily earn money, but

(48:11):
they create they know how to create money.
So they, yeah, products. They create businesses, they
invest. They, you know, they know how to
work the most of them are actually in debt because they
borrow money because you don't pay tax on, you don't pay tax on
what you borrow. So we get most of these
billionaires have got like 100 million pound of debt because

(48:34):
they spend that. That's what they spent.
Because the they and they act like they have money because
they have money, they don't hackit.
Hats in the Lac they don't ever say, oh, I need this, I want
this, I want this. So I think it's really important
to, to kind of change how you change your relationship with

(48:54):
money because money is definitely one of the things
where that causes us especially as that's when you've got low.
Loads of other dolls of other things that you're doing in and
then you're thinking, you know, you're worrying about money.
Hmm. Yeah.
It's I think is one of the biggest is probably one of the
biggest. It is one of the biggest Killers

(49:15):
out there. I would say.
Yeah, stressed about money. Well, that's funny.
You say that actually, because if you were saying earlier that,
you know, people just want control of their lives right
now. A lot of people say, oh, if I
had a million dollars, I could do whatever I want.
It's not funny, it's not a case about.

(49:35):
I want two million dollars because that's not what I said.
I want a million dollars. It's a case of if I had that
million dollars I can do what I want.
As a black, isn't it? Yeah, in a way, money gives us
control over our lives but the downside to that is that money,

(49:55):
unless you have that mindset of creating money of investing, and
And marketing and all that sort of stuff.
It's limited control, isn't it? Because that money runs out, and
then you're right back at squareone, where you started.
Yeah yeah. Did you know though it this is

(50:16):
funny? I don't know.
I don't know about the Australian dollar Bond, the US
dollar and I think even on on the notes in the UK it says I
owe in lieu of so money is actually an IOU.
If you've got enough, if you've got an Australian dollar below
and yeah, on the US dollar, it says ayo ayo the barrel

(50:39):
something. So it's actually originally it
was an IOU but we've got so muchemphasis on it.
Iced, I started now to look at it as just another energy, it's
just an energy that allows you to do things with all right, so
my my coach so every coach has acoach really kind of thing.

(50:59):
And my coach said to me one day,do you want Do you want to be a
millionaire? And I said don't really need
million million pounds, really? She said, okay if I give you a
million pounds, what would you do with it?
And I said, well, I would I wantto start a foundation for
suicide awareness in the UK. I said, I want to, I want to
only Retreat and I would make sure that, you know, my family

(51:21):
come. I'm comfortable with family and
friends are comfortable. You know that she went wall.
So, why don't you want the million pounds?
And because that's good things. I was like, oh yeah, why don't I
want a million pound? Like why don't I want to be
acts? Like I want to be successful.
Hmm. So-so being successful in a

(51:42):
career that could mean having a legacy where you're changing
people's lives. But to be able to change
people's lives. How I want to be able to enter,
give to give what you have to have that Financial.
You have to have that Financial thing behind you.
So I was It's himself. I was putting limits on without

(52:02):
I thought I was doing the right thing by saying this, in my
head. I thought, no it's a minute once
in a million pounds of greedy but actually know, all it
represents is that I'm really I've been really successful in
what I'm doing and now I have the ability to reach further.
Now, I have the ability to starta foundation.

(52:25):
Now I have their I have the ability to open a retreat, you
know, look like, why don't I want these things?
Because these things aren't selfish.
I'm not thinking I wanted it. I would, I want a million but I
want a million pounds because, you know, I then don't have to
work and I'm just going to sit down drinking pina coladas in
Rebellion. Ibiza your, I'd like that.

(52:47):
And that will be on my own. Agenda, but that's that's that's
a holiday home. That's not, you know, that.
But my focus is is is to be ableto do good things on a bigger
scale. So why didn't wear my limit
limit himself? It's because I then had to go
back by then I had to go back and why I had limited beliefs.

(53:08):
You know, what was I being told and what have I believe than why
they've been telling myself, youknow, you get told something.
Yeah, you your mind, add something to it and then you
just You tell yourself that story?
Yep. And actually becomes a bit like
Chinese Whispers but you don't hit it.
Does a million quid. Well, it's not about the million

(53:30):
quid. All right, the minute.
It's not about that. It's about what does it
represent? How does it make you feel?
What can you do with that? If you're a bad person right,
then you're probably going to dobad things with money if you
have money, but if you're a goodperson, chances are you're going
to do good things with money. So I ask the listeners, though.

(53:50):
If you've got this thing where you don't want, you want money,
but you don't want to be a millionaire.
Or you don't want to have lots of money.
Just ask yourself. What would you do with that,
man? What would you do?
If money was Limitless? How many people would you help?
Like, how like what Legacy wouldyou get what you need?

(54:15):
If it's a beautiful Legacy and you will help people, then start
wanting to be that person start wanting that start telling
yourself that. In fact, not wanting it having
it. I've got it, I've got, I feel,
you've got to feel these things to say, I actually This is this
is it. This is all.
I am going to help all these people because I'm going to be

(54:37):
successful. Yep.
You know. And sometimes there's a risk
element of it. You know, I've taken that leap
of, you know, of leaving at 9:00to 5:00 job and I'm not taking
on, you know, I'm not recommending that people just
leave jobs and stuff. But but look it look it, look at
the bigger picture. Look at where you want to get
to, you know, do you want to live the rest of your life on
this Earth being stressed out? Being skinned now because

(55:02):
there's more this like now we'venot we are like the chances of
us being on this Earth at this time.
Well it's trillions and trillions and trillions to want,
isn't it? So it's like start look.
Start looking at how precious this life is you know like it's

(55:24):
important that we You know, we've got us this got to start
inside but once you honestly I Ican't recommend it enough.
And what you're doing is amazingthat you, you know, you want an
amazing journey. But what I would say and I'm not
coach, I'm not coaching on the hair on the podcast but things
like knowing how sober you are whether whether you look at that

(55:46):
as as a negativity built, reallywant to relate back to that date
but having a Having something tocelebrate celebrate the small
wins because each small win gathers momentum and will create
one big massive win. And it's important because every

(56:10):
slight positive action or just keep building another positive
action and absolutely one, it just snowballs gathered
momentum, it snowballs, massively.
And before, you know, it you'll look back and go, wow, you know,
Oh well, but one of the things that you touched on earlier that
we wanted to, I wanted to mention.
It's okay, doing this work but you have to be consistent and

(56:35):
keeping consistent. The only way in my opinion that
you can be consistent is having those positive habits having
that routine in the morning or at night or when you're at work
or whatever, where you do have that mindfulness, 10 minutes
where you do the gratitude. Journal.
Where you appreciate? What you have, where you, where

(56:57):
you spend five minutes, even if have your coffee in the morning
before you go to work stand outside and do it stands.
It's over your shoes off. No.
You know, fail the weather here,the birds whatever it is, try
and be as present as you possibly can.
Because once you start, And you get consistent and all these

(57:20):
things are practice, right meditation.
Yoga everything, they call it practice because you like there
is no right or wrong. Mmm, yep.
It's how your body is, how your body reacts to it and what it
does for you. So meditation isn't all you're
doing it wrong. There is no, there is no right
or wrong, you know, it's a spiritual thing, it's an

(57:42):
internal thing. It's a it's something that will
make you stronger. It will make you stronger as a
person. Person it will get rid of all
the shit that you're just bashedaround in your head, you know?
And it's, it's a tough Journey. It's not easy as it may mean.
No, it's not. It's look.
It's it takes a lot of reflection.
It takes a lot of what's the word?

(58:06):
It takes a lot of guts, it really does.
But you've got to, you've got tostop, and you've got to be
honest with yourself. And it's really easy to lie to
yourself. Tell yourself, everything's
okay? When it's not, and that sort of
thing. But for me, you know, like the
biggest biggest motivation, has been my son because it comes

(58:29):
back to like you said, but with being a coach, you work on
yourself first because then you become your own testimonial,
right? I work on myself.
I know I'm going to be a better father.
I'm, I could give myself my son,so give my son more of my
resources more of my time. I can be more present with him,

(58:54):
you know? So yeah.
It's it is, he's very much my motivation but it's not easy.
It's confronting sometimes, it'sthere have been nights.
I have cried like a big girl, you know, and I'm sorry, I
haven't even said that because Imean, it's not about, you
didn't, you could, you could Oh c'mon, I cried like a man.

(59:14):
That's right, I've tried like a man and I fucking own that
moment, you know, but it's empowering.
It is absolutely empowering and there's no feeling better than
that, my opinion. No.
And and I wonder the when I started like won't material one
of the things I wanted to try and get across, was that our

(59:36):
kids think we're superheroes? Yeah.
Right. That do the matter, what the
matter, how you how bad you feel?
They look at you is that Superhero right?
And it's about I could help us to Hero, right?
So it's about you to regaining that superpower and actually

(59:56):
believing it yourself for believing like you believing
about you what your child thinksabout you because when that,
when that aligns and you he'll go wow this is like a super Our
hero now. But you were good before.
Now you're just like me because let's not let's not mix it,

(01:00:19):
right? They adore that their daddy,
right? Well, I just special moments, of
course, my me special as well, but daddy is like, like, when
Mark Twain was 36, now, he started to call me Steve, right?
But all right, it's 66 going on 26.

(01:00:40):
Oh yeah, by a bright lad. I said I said, please don't I
said, hurry, I said, I don't mind you joking, right?
That is my name, right? But I love it when you call me
Daddy, because the day you startcalling me dad in it.
Almost feels like I'm starting to lose him as a as that little
boy who I'm trying to lose control and I'm starting to lose

(01:01:03):
that kind of but he needs me. They're always going to need
you. What?
It's almost like that Independence thing.
And I am I such a He's right. I said because when you're old
and you start calling me dad. It means you're going to need me
less than this. And he looked at me and he said,
He says, I might I might change.He said when I get older like a
teenager. He said, because teenagers are a

(01:01:24):
little bit weird. He said, yeah, he said he said
but you'll always be my daddy inmy heart and I was just like oh
I was like oh my God you would have been swallowing golf balls
and then you let Steve nice. Stephen walked up the stairs.

(01:01:54):
Yeah, so it's rewarding for sure, for sure.
Yeah, yeah. And like you say and when you're
when you're the, you know, if you're better version of you, I
think I think that relationship will change as well and it will
change with the partner, you know, because hopefully if there

(01:02:17):
is, if there is some animosity there and kids do get, do create
that as well. Because then you end up taking
sides. And it's just this yet, not
about you two anymore. It's about that person.
And then and that can what I found is my connection with now,
they've got a kind of be on board.
What you're doing is well to create this I think.

(01:02:37):
But once they start seeing that you are it's not being selfish,
it's being self full, right thenHopefully that triggers them to
do the same thing as you want. You want them you want them to
be on the journey but that's right.
That's right. Like we meditate, we meditate as

(01:02:58):
a family, you know, my, my lab does yoga, he does many.
They do yoga at school but he meditates, he does a gratitude
journal and I think it's really,really important because that
like this, hopefully, his generation will be the
generation. That changes this world for the
good, you know? And and and we can do that boy
boy, get in the hell, young children to be.

(01:03:19):
Grateful to be mindful to, you know, to meditate, you know that
the school said when they started doing yoga the notes for
being told off, dropped by 70%. Wow.
Yeah. 70%. That's phenomenal.

(01:03:40):
Yeah, because because all of a sudden like the teachers would
just say remember that they havea word or something and it will
be like a word and then the child will just go like calm,
your breathing and and it. Yeah and you know so obviously
it's relatively small, relatively new school but but

(01:04:02):
you know it's I think it's important to be a role model, be
a role model to show them that. Okay, you know, life can be
tough, but this is how you deal with it.
Yeah, this is how this is, how you deal with that, you don't
deal with it through, anger, youdeal with it through getting
yourself, right? Yep.
Being the best version of you. My, I don't think anybody could

(01:04:24):
have said that better. Bloody hell.
Well Steve look I've thoroughly enjoyed this conversation.
It's been fantastic for the guysout there that are wanting to,
that have really taken somethingaway.
From what you've said here and would like to connect with you,
how can they find you, how can they connect with you and start

(01:04:46):
that ball rolling, mate? All right, so I'm on, I'm on all
the socials make but it's Steve Smith.
There's about 4 million of us, right?
All yeah, there are Especially in the UK in the UK.
Yeah, I know I'm not the cricketer unfortunately, though.
But yeah, so coaching by Steve Smith is my my page or you can

(01:05:09):
email me at by Steve Smith LTD at gmail.com.
Those be why Steve Smith LTD at gmail.com and I'm doing like I
say I'm hoping to start a membership but I think the way I
want to take it is because I've got lots of different things.
Things I could put in. So I'm going to be starting a
membership. So it'll be like a small monthly

(01:05:31):
fee and then there'll be loads of self-help videos in there and
also High discount if my courses.
But I'm creating a lot of material at the moment, but if
they just want to reach out and just to, you know, ask a few
questions on or like me to elaborate on some of the
techniques and stuff, not a problem.
It's not like I say, it's not all about me making money if

(01:05:51):
someone wants to reach out and they want, you know, me to jump
on it. I'll offer to our Discovery call
for free anyway as part of my thing, but if they go all I
could find T talking to him for a couple of hours and, you know,
if you're going to do that, please come with come with a bit
of a plan on what you want to achieve.

(01:06:13):
You know what you, what you, what you think the issues might
be what you want to achieve by the end of the call and then
that will help me. Then, you know, some of them,
you know, in the two hours, it will allow me to pinpoint.
Maybe where we need to, just take it.
But if that's all you want to dois not a problem.
Like you say, it's not, it's notabout me making money off this
really. It's about me helping as many

(01:06:35):
people as I can. So and it's just about getting
the message out there. You know what you say?
And they you keep doing what youguys doing, because there's not
enough of us is that there's notenough of us in this world.
And and you know what, I would love more than anything is that
if one something one of y'all got guys, reach out, they do
when I'm of course, As or something and then that they

(01:06:56):
want to become a coach themselves.
They want to, they want to do what I'm doing but in their, you
know, in their region or whatever.
You know, I'd like to be the inspiration.
She's not actually, you can helppeople and it's somebody told me
one day, it's about selling what, you know, yes coaching

(01:07:17):
coaching is selling, is selling what you already know.
It's not about, and it's not necessarily about what, you
know, it's about how How? So it's selling, right?
Let me get an overview. What already what you already
know? Like I say it's about unlocking
those doors because every clienthas the answer and, and the

(01:07:37):
reason I like, not the reason that they're it.
But the reason I love it and themost most amazing thing is the
second, they, when the penny dropped course, When they
realize that actually they're saying the answer or they've
just proven that actually what they were saying isn't true.

(01:07:59):
And all of a sudden they start believing, I see it in their
eyes first and then you see themkind of go.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
It's like the realize it's the most.
It is the most amazing thing because like it cuz that's the,
that's the lightbulb moment. That's them.

(01:08:20):
That's not the old, ye we've cracked this.
That's the, oh my God. I I do have the answer.
Like that's one of the answers. I've just done one ounce and
then it just becomes we change it.
And I like, I like to change TheNarrative of, let's have a
creative session, right? Forget the coaching from it.
Let's just do a creative session.
What do you want to do with yourlife?

(01:08:40):
What is there something? You know.
And then we just brush it out there that we have ideas.
And we like because once the someone asked me today and I'll
be really, really beautiful one.It somebody asked me to that
just today actually, what does the end result look like for
your clients? And they're trying to they're
trying to get you know, promote my business and stuff, but I

(01:09:02):
need it. But I know she will actually
it's it's really hard for me to say that because it's almost
Line. The starting again.
So at the end of my sessions is almost like a rebirth because
all of a sudden they have this newfound confidence that more in
control of their life, they've got rid of the stuff that was

(01:09:25):
holding them back so actually the end doesn't look like the
end. It isn't a finished thing.
It's almost like a start. It's almost like it's a new
beginning. Yeah, it's almost like them
saying, right? Wow, I've got rid of all that
way. Wait right now.
Now it's know what you want to do that.
Let's start now and they go and what Bob just got 12 weeks with

(01:09:47):
you, what we can start on, are several what you want to start
on. What, what do you what thoughts
do? What thoughts do you want in
your head? What, what job do you want?
What career, what does your future look like?
Because now, all of a sudden, they don't have the limits of.
I can't do this. I can't do that.
They're like, what I've done that.
So now we'll know. Now what do we do?
And it that's is, it's amazing because it's an and sometimes

(01:10:09):
it's like, They don't even I say, well, good luck, are you?
I'm here if you need me, you know, because they're in a
position where they don't need to code some some, some some
guys wants what we want. One time a month, just just that
accountability. Just so I can just say, have you
been doing it? You know, you still doing this.
They still doing that. Now, some people kitchen.

(01:10:30):
Like I say it's it's it's an amazing thing is, I can't
pinpoint it to one thing but it's almost like a rebirth
because I know I can do that, right?
I could I can get somebody like that in in three weeks, four
weeks depending on depending on how much.

(01:10:50):
Depending on how entwined is. Yeah.
Yeah and I'm actually work. I can willing to do as well.
Yeah, yeah, in two hours, three hours, four hours, because it's
about me believing in them and then all of a sudden they can
see that someone believes in them, right.
I've got the tools to give to them and they've got, they've

(01:11:12):
got inside, they've got the answers inside them.
If you work hard and no strict like 34 sessions, I can get you
on the path of white, then they can go and, you know, but you
have to maintain what what I've been, you know, you have to have
these positive habits. Because that's what's stopping
you. And, and again, I can talk for
England, right? Not for Australia, bigger

(01:11:33):
country from Top finger, but I know you guys like to talk as
well. Oh, we love to play.
Yeah, what I would say and one at one of the powerful things
that I use, right? So imagine this is your
grounding, okay? Your ambition and life and life
in general goes like this. Yeah, this is your foundation,

(01:11:56):
right? If you don't do any ground work,
if you don't do any inner work right?
Your life just does this. And you're grounding of here
when full, it's a big drop and it's also a big climb to get
back where you get To yeah, absolutely.
So what I what I say have your foundation going with your
ambition, have good grounding because then when you do for

(01:12:20):
it's just a step. Yep.
Right. What you don't want.
You don't want that, really, youdon't want that because then you
become complacent, not really ambitious, but your spiritual
and everything, but then you'll pop your possibly one day,
you'll wake up and go, oh, I could have done more with my
life and everything so it could work.
To counterproductive, you have to just have it just behind as a

(01:12:43):
support network. Have that, you know, and I'm
talking meditation, breath were mindfulness gratitude these
things because that will keep you consistent and it will stop
you from falling back down, so my couldn't have said it better
myself. Well, look stage, thank you so
much for your time today and thank you for all this great

(01:13:04):
information and they're moving. They're a good couple of tools
in there that you're thrown in there as well.
Also look, I appreciate your time.
I appreciate your your knowledgeand your expertise might mostly.
I appreciate you. Thank you so much for reaching.
I appreciate you, man. Thank you for having me.
No, it's been amazing. Thanks for listening to the

(01:13:25):
show. You want to find out more about
today's guest. Just check out the links in the
show notes. You can follow the podcast as
well. On social media at not-so-secret
dad's business or on our website, not-so-secret dad's
business.com If you're listeningon a podcast or Spotify, please
rate review the show, it helps more than you realize.

(01:13:47):
Until next time guys be the bestdad you can be