Drink Your Juice Shelby

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:28):
women's rights in America are under attack is the
court overturns Roe v Wade. Itwill be a direct assault on
freedom on the fundamentalrights of self determination to

(00:48):
which all Americans are entitledroe protects the right to access
abortion. It also protects awoman's right to make decisions
about what she does with her ownbody

Jim (01:25):
I'm really not sure yes, yes, that's why I said I meant
this. Oh, honey. Yes, Queen.
Yes. That's how you do ithunting. Now hide that fucking
wire because you look liketrash. Oh, right. Hello,
everybody. Welcome to anotherepisode of not Well, I am Bobby.
I am Jim. I'm fat. Well, we knowthe shot. I feel like I'm not
like we need to get like, lastshot. You're in the shot, bitch.

(01:48):
I feel like I'm in the bedagain. Okay, I can't really
Wantage. Okay, well, we're backin the studio. We're not in bed.
Sorry, but next week. We'll bein bed. Well, next week I won't
be here but then the week afterthat. We should be in bed. Yeah,
are you Oh no. You're upset.

(02:09):
He's upset. No, not even in bedthough. Like we just pick
anywhere. Oh, okay. We just dowherever we want. Why don't we
do a picnic blanket and good olPark and just lay out. There's
puppies. There's hot. Oh, that'dbe fun. Have you ever seen a
puppy daddy? The way we got?
Daddy's come over. Yeah, likeoh, your dog. Lay down here.
Take your shirt off. No, thinkabout this before. We're gonna.
We're gonna do puppy daddy's inthe park. Daddy's in the park.

(02:30):
We're having a nice Rosae today.
Oh, my hands in the way. It'sfrom France. Speaking of your
hands. I do I have my DrewBrees. Arthritis gloves on. Now?
Yes, I've seen some commercialsabout this and the copper and
such as I don't make as manycans I don't believe in it. I'm

(02:53):
gonna say it. i What makes younot believe in a, I don't think
a metal around your hands isgoing to help your arthritis
which is internal. It's just ametal. That's like, I climbed a
rock and now I've cured myselfwith cancer. Oh, girl. It's
like, Why have that analogy andI want to know why is it all

(03:13):
why? Why is it always a sportslegend who's promoting copper
because there's several but theyget paid. They get paid so much
money honey, don't get mestarted on the whole like
payment system and the wholeanarchy of our world. I would
like to get you started on that.
Go ahead. First of all, I justwant to make note that we are
wearing very Aztec lusciousskips. She's like, I'm not
getting started. Nothing to sayno. Because I've no doubt if

(03:37):
you're black. I well, I justblank. I mean, we did go to the
east mark and have a cocktail.
She's playing by cocktail beer.
Two beers, and you had to haveyour friends because she was
black. We're not oh, we're notallowed to talk about that we
can. Okay, well, we went to theEast market and it is an up and
coming market. Empty stalls andempty walls I would say. But

(03:59):
great food. And great. Oh, Idon't want my glass and great
people to I think it was a fulllie. And that's fine. It is. No,
I like it. I'm just like, it'scute. It is what it is, um,
you're struggling today. Why doI always like so I recommend
everyone go to the East market.

(04:20):
But I think the cocktails haveled to Bobby's brain going to
functioning and it might be thecocktails and might be the
edible. I think it's the copperhonestly, or the copper, which
we were talking about. And whatI was saying was that there's a
lot of athletes that do thesekind of gigs after like remember
George Foreman, the GeorgeForeman grill. Member member I

(04:41):
had one I literally have one isamazing. I know. Well, he had to
be like an Uber Christian. Hehad 12 kids but his grilled and
his grill was incredible offfuck me with that grill. I use
the heat of Jesus's crotch and Igrilled that chicken and grilled
oh my god it was you know that'scooked perfect and the drip
beans would go in that littletray at the bottom and I would

(05:02):
just want to take a shot of thedrip beans like don't tell
anyone. I was a bad girl when Iwas younger. Wow. As you can
imagine, well, you're also a badgirl as an adult and there was
something that we need to talkabout. Now wait Now ladies and
gents to bring that up yet. Ijust wanted to mention something
I was transferred. I wastransferred here transferring in

(05:23):
honor of Cinco Demayo. I'mwearing this poncho, and I'm
also in a

Bobby (05:30):
shop, a Native American Shah that is a Mexican Native
American. So like minor Aztec orsomething like my end? Well,
this is so inappropriate andwe're canceled. Happy Cinco
Demayo even though it's pastWell, we're only focused on his
mother's day, but we got otherthings to talk about first. I
don't want to talk aboutMother's days is already gonna
be passed. So worried aboutthis. I know what you're going

(05:52):
to talk about. I hate it. Well,we got to talk about it. So last
week, as you saw we were Kiki.
kakak cuckoo in the fucking bad.
Oh, as the episode went on, ifyou haven't watched our YouTube
you've got to watch like there'sit's like kind of dumb if you
don't know fancy you have towatch the YouTube. It's not
actually a fan. Like I just sawit. I was like, it makes sense.
You'll make understand us betterand the way that we make faces.

(06:17):
Yeah, no, it's just necessary tosee how annoying and dumb I
think Bobby is in the moment tounderstand like, why this
podcast is so dumb andwonderful. Right? Like and the
way that I would describe isalso dumb and wonderful because
we really are just who we are.
Yeah, and you're blacked out. Soworks every well. You know what
we're going to talk aboutblackout because guess what,
honey? We recorded last week. Itended. I was like okay, bye,

(06:38):
Jim. Like, we're gonna go todinner in like an hour or so.
Right? Yeah. Okay, cool. textthem in an hour. No response.
You're meanwhile jerking off.
Watch. Oh, I will be working onthe fucking YouTube video. Per
usual. I'm always fuckingworking. That's on me. That's
not on you. I'm not blamingsociety. I'm not blaming anybody
that's on me. No, that's ourcapitalist system. You can blame

(07:00):
it. No, but my creative rememberI talked to my disability? Yes,
your disability or disabled. SoI'm sitting there and I texted
him at seven and go well ateight. I'm just gonna go to
dinner. Like I'll just go tobarbecue or something. If you're
not gonna like I don't know whatyou're doing. I thought he was
sleeping personally. I really,whenever ever slept.

Jim (07:21):
Okay, so you thought I was sleeping? Well, we always fake
sleeping. We do. intermesh Oh,yes. Every time. I'm either
jerking off. I'm watching theshow. Or I go out and like go
get coffee somewhere walk aroundthe block. Oh, oh, puppy. I
never intermission I didn'tintermission I physically can't.
That's the new visual problem isin the CPAP here's the thing.

(07:43):
The problem is though, then Iwork at all day long and I'm
tired by 10. Like, normally whenyou Inermis you do go out till
12 You're like, I want to go outand get a drink. But you're
right. Yeah. We so I'm good forlike one or two days. That's a
That's every day, ma'am. Justtwo days. No, ma'am. Thank you,
ma'am. Third day, it's nothappening. A second day was

(08:04):
even. Okay, sir. Anyway, so allof a sudden I get a FaceTime
call. It's Jim. Okay. What thefuck? Hello? Hi. Hi. Can I go?
Oh, no, because I can see it inhis eye. I see the background is
pool full. And he goes, Hi.
Like, I want to go to dinnertoo. And I said, okay, like,

(08:28):
we're like, I've been 30. Like,what are you doing? Well, I'm up
at the pool top and get me comesave me. And I'm like, I don't
know if I can say like, I don'tknow. Like, honestly, I don't
know. Sometimes people arebeyond saying, Well, I couldn't
read you. I was like, trying toread the room. I'm like, okay,
like is does he absolutely needme right now is he like asked me
because he was trying to like,he was like he was speaking to
me without speaking to me. Yeah,yeah. And I was like, save me

(08:51):
the poll. And I'm like, oh,fuck, so I was like, Yeah, I go
Go to your room and didn'tchange. Meanwhile, I was like, I
gotta go say, I gotta go on thatrickety elevator up there and
see what the fuck in your roomcard first if you want to get up
there, bitch. So I get up there.
And I go around the corner. Andwho is galavanting and he

(09:11):
fucking cool. Oh, let's just sayI was being inappropriate at
times. Like I had to be toldjust chit chatting. The men were
like, there are children herelike that's when you Oh no.
Yeah, honestly, we'll get tothat. Like men. Yeah, we had
nails on we'll get to thatwasn't just the nails quickly.
Like well get that when peopleare wearing speedos around me.

(09:33):
You know what's happening likedrinking. Don't touch don't get
your dick out. No, no, I wasn'ttrying to touch them. They were
putting them in my hand. Oh,honey, have you seen this face
like people want to want to comeon him on it. Still ended up
there and he's chit chattingaway and Ulsan he makes eye
contact with me goes Oh no. Amento rebel. And I was and he was

(09:56):
and I was, we'd been drinkingfrom noon until Oh man. Yeah,
like you so time you took aninner mesh. I mean, what does
that mean time went on when youtie when I don't have the
straight people say but when youwhen I went on it's like you're
tying it on like you are reallygoing for it you are gonna
fucking blackout. No. Now tyingonto what you were tying one on.

(10:23):
I mean, it's just like a sayingthat says like you're getting
fucked up and drunk. Okay, okay,well you would know. So any
chapel and I'm like you're notin trouble. I was like, Do you
want to go to dinner? And nowI'm like, okay, yeah, that's
yes. So meanwhile, there's lessgays like literally pure saline.
They were like they love you.
They Oh, yeah, they were like,Oh, my God. I think I was hot.
Yes. Oh, I didn't do you think Iwas like, we should go out with

(10:44):
them. I'm like, I'm tired. Well,I told them that I was like, be
prepared. Yeah, I was like nextplayer guys because he's got to
go to bed. I just, he's gonnaorder to talk about Uber Eats in
Austin and he's gonna go to bedactually was really behave to
have my night snacking. I'm justgonna say you weren't good. We
even ordered an order anything.
We normally would get a pizza orsome pizza now. So then I'm

(11:07):
like, come on, and we're gonnago we're gonna go to dinner.
Jim, come on, get out of thepool. Oh, come over here. So I
go across the five foot poolover to the other side of the
fucking thing right on theledge. Some twink meets me and
was like, Do you want to fix me?
I'm like, no, like, what's wrongwas? I don't know. He was
talking about he was wearing askirt getting spanked the night
before and it didn't hurt and Ifeel that it's Philip. I loved
Phil should have gotten one ofthese gloves. And he's the guy

(11:29):
who I walked into oil canHarry's and he was getting
spanked by a DOM in a jockstrapand a skirt. So his asshole
without any asshole asshole wasstuck with me. No, he got caught
with like he was getting spankedin front of everyone with his
asshole out on a stool. He wason a stool. Let's just say he's
hospitable. Anyways, he wantedyou to fist him. I'm looking at

(11:50):
Jim going kicked a book overhere. I want to talk to you and
let's figure this out. That'syour DOM attitude. That's me
being a DOM dab. And he goes, Igo Jim, come here. And he looks
at me dead in the fucking eyeand goes, my legs don't work.
His fucking legs don't work.

(12:10):
Now.
I can't get angry. Because mylegs never worked. You're always
like, go upstairs and get myphone. No, but not even that.
Like when I'm fucked up like,honey. Your legs don't work.
You're on the couch. No, but mylegs don't work. They really
your you'll be laying on thecouch like it's Oh, I can't
move. I can't move. And I'mlike, you can't move. I don't
like getting high go no movie,because then Oh, I feel like the

(12:33):
whole time I'm gonna go no, do Iget up? And now that they sell
large beers at the movies, likeI can't go to a blackout just to
go there. Like, do you want tobe here? I'm like, I'll take the
tall the 32 ounce IPA, the 7%.
One thing. And then, during theintermission, when I have to go
to the bathroom. I'll getanother one. And then by the end
of the movie, you're like, Well,it's been three hours and I

(12:54):
don't know where I'm parked. Andthankfully I didn't drive. And
move bring home. You don't everdrink and drive. So I don't know
why that's Matt would havedriven over. I always make Matt
drive. That's the driver. That'smy show. We don't have not a
driver show. We actually likeshould we sweep over because we
use Uber like and we use Uberlike Well Charles our Uber. I

(13:14):
said we use Uber we use overOberlin College, low country
ball. Oh, you're bringing backTexas. I just can't I can't stop
thinking about Dylan. Butanyways, yeah, our partners are.
Let's talk about a pardon. Well,I just want to wrap this part
up. So trying to distract themfrom that though. We're gonna
finish it. He gets out of thepool. He goes down to his room.
We end up going to the most likelavish. Like, it wasn't even

(13:38):
that expensive, which is weird.
It's called Red ash, red ash.
It's like the hottest thing inAustin for Italian. I mean,
that's what the people spoke.
Now, when we walked in, I said,we're visiting and we'll never
be here again. But can we gether to just be like a week out
but it's a week out because likeI Lars were preserved. She goes
even the bars reserved, likeit's a week out. I'm like, we'll

(14:00):
just put her Hey, I said we'llput her name in just in case.
You said something cute. Soyeah, it's like, we've heard it
so good. I looked it upeverywhere. From Ohio. Oh, no,
she's and then she goes, shegoes, I'll put you on a list,
channelized, and we're like 10to 15 minutes later, we're
seated seated at the bar sittingat the bar seated like that like
that. And when I say red ash,oh, my God, I'm gonna come. Now

(14:28):
while we're eating that greatdinner, and it's great. On the
way to the restaurant and mostleft gym for the airport. I was
like, fuck it. I'm going home.
He was so fucking drunk. Here wego. And it wasn't like a bat.
You weren't being you were beingYeah, because I said get heart
mouth. I said give me an exampleof how I'm being mean and you
were like you're just being No,you're you're being smart mouth.

(14:48):
You're being a little sharp withyour tongue. I'm sure I was cut.
And then you were like so theonly other thing that happened
was you we were at that nice redash and you said something like
that day. Acting like screaming.
I was like, Oh no, cuz we weredrinking there too. You decided
to get Margarita there? And Iwas like, Oh, more bread. Yeah,
we need one or yes, no, I thinkyou just had one but one was

(15:11):
like for Texas is like crazywith alcohol. I could tell and
it's cheap. But anyway, that'sall I want to say about that.
Basically what I'm saying isthat our friendship was tested
but yet here we endured, andyou're welcome. We endured, we
endured now. Okay, okay. Thankyou. Thank you for our
friendship. Yeah, thank youAustin though, honestly. And

(15:31):
we're going to plan our nexttrip because we decided that
this is part of the podcast,like we just have to like, No,
we have to travel and if you seeus, you should be afraid you
should be afraid that we'regonna say something about you
because like, don't be a weirdoand like, have these weird
fucking miners with you. We'regonna talk about you. Now. The
guy that I had sex with after Imet him on the rooftop pool last
week. He messaged me and he'slike, I hope he talked about me

(15:51):
on my on your podcast. I waslike, Oh, I did. I called him a
circuit guy. Which was I lovethat. No, he was like, I can't
wait to listen. I hope he talksabout me. Did he listened we
know did you convert loved it?
No. No, he loved it. Maybethat's why we but he didn't want
to get piston shut on. Which issomething you said hi, gay. I
love it. Okay, good. So I'm justtelling you like people to use a

(16:12):
surrogate guy then. Well, he'scute as fuck. I'm sorry. You're
I know when he walked up there.
Okay, but I don't do sloppyseconds. Honey. What's that?
What are sloppy seconds? Thatmeans? You realize every guy
you've ever been with is asloppy second. No, but I don't
do sloppy seconds like you. Youhave like it'd be like, Honey,
he knew he needed to know me.
I'm trying to go deep here.

(16:32):
Every guy you've ever had sexwith? You're a sloppy second.
Think about that. Sure. You'realways the second and last every
person you're with is a virgin.
You're a sloppy second. That'scrazy. Honey now wow. Speaking
of virgin and you look like asloppy SEC now. I have like a
thing I want to play you

Bobby (16:56):
know it's about we're going into baggage learn so not
virgins but we're kind ofquestioning who the fuck this
person is. Now, let me just makesure that this is fucking
connected. Of course I alwayshave to do this in some really
really tough time for me. Maybethe copper will help your hands
yes and I do feel like it isokay so what we're gonna do is I

(17:17):
made a little video

Jim (17:20):
and we're gonna play it for Jim choices.

Unknown (17:23):
Oh, Madison Cawthorn you know that Republican
congressman who said thatRepublican colleagues invited
him to cocaine fueled orgies

Jim (17:42):
no or yes, that's not sexual perversion. We're asking
you to come to an orgy This tome

Unknown (17:50):
would like to see a naked body but he does this
article is

Jim (18:02):
pushing a ludicrous kind of drag queen on the side. I just
got that feeling like

Unknown (18:12):
turn my head around for this. This is Are you familiar
with how to get serious theydon't want people who are going
deep into all of my anal walknow.

Jim (18:22):
Now for you honey like a BA into my booty hole. Hiya, God
Kia. Kia de la Renta us and it'sfine. I need you to Stop
overreacting I put two cupfulsGrapefruit Oh, it's because of
the cup fold. Now that littlecot is in Washington making laws

(18:43):
and says that gays are evil. Butyet I've seen him in like three
situations. I've seen his dickout in three different
situations all with men ortouched honestly. Now and the
one looks like he was in anursing home Did you see that?
But I do have a question. Whyare they all blurred? Because I
there was a version that's on Iguess crack is really hairy. Or

(19:07):
you can't see it right? It'slike It's like from a they reach
back there. Abel yest I know Ireally want to be like him and
just stand up for what I believein that's what he was trying to
do and now me I'm not to beinappropriate but like stand up

(19:31):
for what you believe in yourname a Madison. Okay, I'm done
being able us but I don't reallylike you your account. You're
the one nevermind. Now he isthough that's the problem is
like so just live your lifesupplies and when he's catching
deck left and right. He is LadyJ. He's slapping his deck into

(19:53):
his friends faces because that'sjust what straight men do. It's
gross. It's not. I want to tellyou something. It's not It's
what gay men do. So we know whatMattis Catherine is up to. Yeah,
honestly, we know he's Listen,he's a little touch about deaths
and a little a little that ifyou have to get on and do it
like a fucking Hi, I just wannalet you guys know I'm not a drag

(20:16):
queen. Now he is now we'rehaving problems clearly if you
have to, like explain that tothe people now I've never met a
real straight man in my lifewho's had to explain how he's
not a drag queen. I'll say that.
Morphosis is one.

Bobby (20:29):
Straight drag queen. Hi, gay was Maddie. Maddie Morphosis
not Madison. Cawthorn we'regoing to Maddie. I was like,
what is that name? Anyway, Ijust kind of who's that it's a
drag of the straight drag queenfrom this year on drag race.
This last episode I gay. Are youtalking about drag race? Oh,
boy. No. You said you've lostme. No. You said I've never

(20:51):
heard a straight man. Somethingsomething something I said. Do
you think about Dragon? I saidyeah. Maddie Morphosis is a
straight guy that does that.
You're just trying to confuse meand to me. Honestly, I think
you've confused yourself. But Iam still confused about. I just
don't know who Maddie morphotypeFF is a straight drag queen.
Okay, but why? I don't know. Youwant to ask him? Or her? I don't

(21:13):
know. It's a him. He's astraight male.

Jim (21:19):
Now speaking of I actually have another fun video for you.
And this is going to touch intoour next topic, which really is
serious. And we're going to Imean, let me sit up straight. Do
you have anything else we needto blow off? But I actually have
something. I do need to talkabout something. So I'll get
back to my situation. Knowwhat's happened in which is what
is your situation because you'resupposed to be drinking that I

(21:40):
am. You're not on sips of that.
Like it's a little medicine. Nowmost medicines ready. It's
something that I've beenconcerned about this week. I
need people to focus. Tell usbaby. And we all know Bobby,
occasionally when he goes outwith me mainly after Mexican
food has episodes of purging.

(22:03):
It's not vomiting. It'sunintentional. intentional, but
it does happen. And there'svideo proof that our listeners
have seen. And I this weekthroughout. I cannot believe I'm
saying this but I feel like I'mbecoming Bobby And this brings
us to our Topic. Topic. I'm notsure. Oh, fat. No, no, the topic

(22:28):
is weak stomachs. Now, I'vealways heard this growing up.
I've heard certain people say Ihave a weak stomach. And I never
thought what that meant and Ithought they were just old. And
I thought like you're makingthis up like, like, even even
undergrad people be like, Oh, Ican't I can't chug a beer. I
have a weak stomach. I'm likefucking goddamn idiot. Well,

(22:51):
right. And you know, I'm like,I'm like showing them I'm like
watch Law or a shotgun a beerand then like, see, it's fine.
Like, I can't do that I'll throwup now. No, ma'am. I'm seeing
you go through your travels andtravails. So the issue is the
four days this week in themorning, I have thrown up at
work thrown up. And not fromdrinking the night before

(23:14):
because I had no alcohol thenight before. Just no alcohol.
Wow. Not wondering. No actuallydid it. And that's the that's
the scary part. And that'swhat's made me worried and you
know, hypochondriacs are well,and that's, that is us. It's
always a possibility though.
That's us thinking we can havepancreatic cancer or gastric.
Yeah, yes, that's cancer. Yes.

(23:35):
But also, you're not skinnyenough. My mom always said, I'm
gonna push that because I am ahypochondriac. But my mom would
always say, Oh, no. My Margot.
She looked me up at night andgo, you haven't lost any weight.

(23:58):
So it's not cancer. So everytime I'm like, here's the here's
your checklist. Okay, everyone,if you're wondering if you have
cancer, here's the checklist.
Have you lost any weight weight,night sweats? Or is your left on
your armpit swollen? Are theythey're swollen here it's
definitely cancer. Either youhave that's a lymph node COVID

(24:20):
You got your your lymph nodes.
There's this triggers thesethings that happen that people
are like, I don't know whathappened. I was I was throwing
up and shit for 17 months. Andyou're like, you have you should
have went three and threemonths. And you could have had
an easier ride. Maybe survive.
Maybe it was your time? Well,and I'm worried that this is my
time because after four days ina row, I was like, you know,
wait a minute. Now, one thing Idid is I did some

(24:42):
experimentation. So I thoughtyou know, maybe this caffeine
pill I take in the morning iscausing that it could so I
stopped the caffeine beltactually made a habit because
too much. She mentioned thetummy. So I stopped the caffeine
pill. It still happened. Then Ithought well maybe I just need
something on my stomach and thenI did tortilla hips one day,
because that's what's on thecounter. Okay, so that's, that's

(25:04):
okay. That's a choice. I'll justhave these tortilla chips. I
don't know why I ate a wholebowl of salsa and it blew up the
bathroom. I don't know why itwas just tortilla chips, and
it's just vomiting. It's notshitting. And so then the next
day, I was like, Well, what if Itry yogurt, so I tried some
yogurt. It didn't workthroughout. Now, today, I've had

(25:25):
a breakthrough. I waited to takemy antidepressant until after I
had an egg sandwich. And Ididn't throw up. So I my
antidepressant is causing me tovomit. I think I believe trust
and believe. I believe that too,because you aren't has to be and
you're not having night sweats.
So you would say something, Ithink, would you tell me if you
had nights? Well, what? Whywould you tell me you know, I

(25:47):
would tell you if I lost weight,that's for sure. We will be able
to see and unfortunately thecamera adds pounds to all of us.
And that's why we are going tobe cozy every week matter. Why
do you think I'm wearing aMexican poncho? I wanna have a
cooking episode where we justlike cook something and chitchat
with our mics right? You'remaking cheese corn and mac and
cheese. I can tell from yourbest mac and cheese. Yeah, fuck

(26:08):
I believe you know, you had ajar of Alfredo sauce and 17
types of cheese to a bowl andmelt them down. I bet you do
make good mac and cheese. Yeah.

Bobby (26:21):
I just thought read and wrote and written up and
written. And don't forget theblock of cream cheese dolloped
in at the end, don't do that.
But I would. It's probably theother day I was out of milk. So
I had to use heavy whippingcream as my milk for macaroni
and cheese and that honey.
That's the ballgame. He'swhipping cream and milk.

Jim (26:41):
Sugar and you'll never be the same. You know, they're like
add two tablespoons of butter. Iput four. I'm not gonna always
gotta go the box of Annie's islike just add one to two
tablespoons of butter. I'm like,but for who the fuck is doing
Annie's I do anaise Every timeyou any I've never been bribed.
As for for I haven't done craftssince I was seven years. That's
why you're having a problem thatwhen you're putting four in

(27:03):
that's the normal amount thatcraft does. That's where Andy's
like we're healthy. Oh, soyou're I mean, I'm being
healthy. Right? But that'swhat's so funny about the
Annie's or whatever. It's likewe're healthy here. It's also
better for the cows because it'sgrass fed and organic and we're
all dying anyway. So we all haveno rights and we don't have any
speaking of no rights, somethinghappened this week, which caused
devastation everywhere. Wellthen I really wanted to tie in

(27:26):
like I know this is gonna beinappropriate, but like I wanted
to tie in a video that I madeOkay, show me a video we were
talking about gay and we'retalking about abortion here. So
just like I'm gonna like mergethose abortion, the abortion and
abortion is a dragline that'shere. A Boresha Her name is
abortion Clinique now or Ohyeah, okay, tag tagged and
tagged and written. Okay?

Unknown (27:47):
Not trans identify as a man because I am a man and
that's how God created me. Sothat makes me a man. And
secondly, and most important, Iwish people would listen. I like
girls wait too much to be gay.
This just shows what God isdoing in our nation. Are you
doing medically speaking yes, itmight affect me if it's my
girlfriend or my wife then yes,it does affect me because that

(28:10):
is my child just as much as itis her from the way you talk to
you yay. Why are you gay? Andthat's how God created me. I am
very much against things likerape, but just because a woman
and that gives a reason noreason by any means to have an

(28:32):
abortiongrow up make sure you understand
and you feel it in your bonesthey don't care about you at all
true

Jim (28:47):
she was not fucking done honey. The Young Turks I love
them but yeah, it's like insanethis person this little gay boy
who's saying he likes women.
Like that's our first red flag.
First of all you anybody whosays I like girls too much I
like got so fucking much Oh mygod. I went there put days yeah,
like honey we all my dog y'alllike girls. We did that too. In

(29:09):
high school. We remind everyonewe all love Carol. I think like
Britney Spears is so hot likeyou can be gay. I like Christina
and Jessica Sutton sound likewhat's wrong? I mean, I like my
women. I have their posts on mywall. Meanwhile, you actually
like JC Chavez from insane andyou want to fuck him? Can I

(29:29):
sorry. I was not a JC but I havelike you're in a JC you were
probably Kevin from BackstreetBoys. You look I remember loving
honey, you looked like a nastyas Kevin Carter, not as trashy
brother. At the brother thoughback then can I just say
something and it's gonna becontroversial. You're not
allowed. And I know we weregonna get into the real serious
topic, but there's somethingelse that I thought of this

(29:51):
week. That's like kind ofControversial. Controversial.
Now drink your juice. I did alittle bit and I feel like you
haven't. Yes, I fucking haven'tseen you a single We'll see
literally I will go to thecamera we'll go to do the straw
poll and sipping your tonicwater now the fuck was I talking
about now? God dammit. Somethingcontroversy hell

(30:16):
you're like somethingcontroversy out. Oh, I came to
realization that I wonder ifready. This is a really big Have
you ever tried this? Yeah,you're seeing people do this and
you're like that doesn't help.
Yeah like Britney, it's all myfemale friends yeah this is Diet
Coke they're like look, DrPepper and they're like, here we
go. And it's like okay anywayit's controversial What if being

(30:40):
gay isn't really being gay? Whatif we're all trans? I told you
to be controversial. I'mactually a fan. No, and I was
thinking about it. I was like,controversial or interpretable

(31:01):
uninterpretable. Like, I don'tknow what that means. I would
think about it as what if? Whatif we're all really just trans?
Gay doesn't exist. Okay, and sohow would that play out? Like, I
don't understand. Like, if we'reall trans, what does that mean?
So like, I want to fuck man canbecause you're a woman, because
I'm a woman, but you don'trecognize it? Correct. Okay, and
now this is. I'm telling youthis was way left field. I was

(31:24):
like, I don't know if I was highyou don't know. You don't know
if I was. Well, I know. You'renasil Hi. I need to tell you
something. I know. You were Iwas drugged. You are on Uranus

(31:45):
or Uranus that was passed arounda different house at Pluto. And
that's broke our sign. I justwant like, it's fucking stapled
like we're on. When we hung thisup on me was should we hang a
nail? And I was like, I mean, wecould we could staple it and
then Bobby goes, we could savemoney grabs and save when before

(32:07):
I have a chance you go into thewall. Where's your staple gun?
You want to stay with me to thechair? No, but I need to I need
three drives. Per usual I amactually a trans woman. Man.
Well, I'm a trans Wang. We'reboth true man. Women. I don't
sounds really fun. We're transwomen who are straight because

(32:31):
we like men. Like what if whatif this is like the
controversial This is like theis it controversial and insane?
This is the trouble I'm havingis which? I mean like, is it
controversial? It just is it'sso out of left field that we
can't even it is

Bobby (32:54):
out of love. Because if you can't explain it, then I
don't even know if it'scontroversial. I did explain it
though. Try again. Like what ifsexuality actually isn't real?
But really gender is? And sowe've related as oh, we're gay
because we like men. But what ifwe're really trans? We're really
a woman.

Jim (33:14):
What is a woman I guess?
Right. And that's where I knowit sounds wacky. I know it's I
just had to say it. Like I feellike I had to say that. But then
how do the people that we likeknow that they're men? What if
they're trans men? Lesbians aremen. So we like men were to
actually transmit that. So likeputting in such a bubble in
sexuality. It's like, Oh, honey,this is your theory. Like don't.

(33:37):
Don't turn to me and be like, Iknow. But you're really putting
this in a bubble. I'm like,Bitch, I didn't put this in
anywhere. You came up with howmuch you put in here. I think
that's the whole goddamn fuckingthing. I feel so fucking high
right now that I came inGoddamn. I put into squirts
because I kept filling up thething and it wouldn't fill and
then I would turn it over andI'd be like, it's empty. It's
really clear though. For likejust being it's Rosae that's how

(34:00):
mine oh my god, you're beingsuch a drama queen. Okay, so we
need to talk. Okay, great. Yeah,some of the things so we're not
all trans. I guess. Like, Idon't really know. I know.
That's random. And I know that'slike, not appropriate for the
times we're in right now. But Ijust like I thought I should say
it. I'm sorry. Maybe we're alltrans. I don't know. I don't
know. It's just something tothink about. Okay, no, cuz
that's a good topic. It's likesome of the thing about just

(34:22):
think about it and think aboutwhat I said. Now, now if you're
sober Good luck. Um, but nexttime we'll talk about abortion
drunk. So, it was Tuesdayfucking what fucking day was
this like that? It was. I thinkit was Monday. I think it
started my week. I think I'm,I'm sitting on the couch. I lay

(34:43):
in Eldon ring. I'm like,everything's fine. And then I
get a New York Times alert. Andit's a it's an alert about a
leak from the Supreme Court. Andyou say it to me right away to
you right away. I sent it Iliterally had a meltdown and I
fell into the couch, and Ialmost started sobbing. But you
got to be dramatic and get therethough. Oh, honey, I could get

(35:06):
there. So Monday comes around,we get this alert. And it's
like, oh, are these alerts sayson the New York Times we got
there yada yada. It's a draftopinion from the stream to the
fucking Ouch. I fall into a Khole without the K. And I was
like, Oh, wait, let me just readinto this. Like, maybe it's
fake? No, no, it sounded real. Iread it. I was like, this is

(35:28):
really real. It's like 90 pageslike this feels real. And then I
read the logic for why they wantto Roe v. Wade. I'm like, okay,
so they hate abortion. Got it.
Now, why did they want tooverturn it? Because we've had
it since 1973. So what's theirgoal here? Like, why are we
overturning it now? And theysay, well, it's not in the
Constitution. And then theymentioned a couple other cases

(35:50):
like, well, they mentionedObergefell 20. For Ferguson.
swear they did, but they didn'tmention Ferguson. Honey, girl,
honey, honey, girl Han. Theymentioned Obergefell. They say
like, well, gay marriage. Andmarriage equality is not
mentioned in the constitution.
So this was also wrong. Womenare mentioned in the
Constitution gays, blacks, hirepeople, like none of them know.

(36:13):
Pack your bags, bitch, thiscourt is coming for you. And so
I went to a spiral. And I said,Matt, like, I don't know why
we're getting married. I don'twant to get married. I want to
leave. I want to move. I don'tsee a point of it. I say
something. No, you can't. So Isaid, if we're getting married
in November, and then we'reliterally in the next year if

(36:34):
some random county clerk islike, I shouldn't have to give a
gay marriage license out becauseI'm Christian. And this court is
like, Well, you're right. GayMarriage isn't mentioned in the
constitution. So we're gonnatake that right away too.
Because fuck you gays. I amgoing to lose my mind us. Well,
it's why did they hate women?

(36:55):
Why did they hate any minority?
Any LGBTQ, any black person, anybrown person. They like power.
They like being wealthy. Theylike having power. That is what
these old white gays want.
That's what they've always votedfor. And that's what they have.
And white women have the samesis hat white women, sis
heterosexual cisgenderheterosexual women, white women.

(37:16):
They have the same power asthose men because they are
adjacent. They've got thatpower. They've they're right
next to their husbands. There'stheir history heterosexual
husbands. Oh, husband, I supportyou running for our country
keeping it Christian. They want.
Okay, now just because your manhas gone.

(37:38):
Oh, my God, you must now. Wow,we had a breakthrough. Maybe
that was the anger at the court.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna but whatI'm really angry about is the
fact that nine people which wehave not elected are on a court
for Life for life. And theycould have fucking cancer and
died any moment. They could be40 years old and live 40 years.
They could be absolutelycertifiably insane. And we just

(38:02):
have to be like, Oh, well,they're on the Supreme Court,
their wife could be texting herand insert. Clarence Thomas's
wife could be texting Trump'schief of staff Mark Meadows to
say like, Hey, let's overturnthis election. Well, we know
that election was fake. So let'sjust keep Trump in office. How
do we do that? And I'm like,well, your husband's on the
Supreme Court. But you'retexting. We have the tax. We
have the transcript. We have thereceipt, right? We're gonna have

(38:23):
to cut that out. That'sembarrassing. We have the
receipt. Receipts we ever say Iwant you to chuck that for that
attitude that you just gave up.
I just chuck it. I kind of saywhat I was thinking though. You
can check it my I forgot I gothere for that reason. And I'll
take absolutely all of it. Allof it. That's rude. Okay, what I

(38:48):
was gonna say is, that'sactually why I like if there's
any hesitation in marriage.
That's why because only thisjust happened this week. And
you've been hesitant about itfor years. So has a ton of I
don't I never really believedthat. It was real. Yeah, but for
years, right? I'm saying like,this was this. Okay. Well, when
you're on a list of registered,married gay people, and you're
sent and the buses come and theyfucking take you. I didn't. I

(39:10):
can't wait to get on the buswith you. I hope we go skiing.
We're not going skiing honey.
We're going skiing on some deck.
Which now hi gay. Which deckwhich? Hi, hopefully Madison
Cawthorn. Like, hopefully, I dowant to get them hard. Hopefully
he's in some randomconcentration camp, which is
where we end up in and he'slike, I hope you end up in the
same concentration. Are youflexing for me? No. Because that

(39:32):
was big. Honey. Um, I just havea little tingle. I feel like oh
my god. I feel like you just hada moment with me. You're like, I
want you to do the sameconcentration. No, I do. I want
I want us to be in not in thesame bunk bed but like in the
same now. We gotta be in thebox. I'm on the top there like
ironically. Well, they alwaysput like four bunks together.
It's not cute, too. It's not toobut do you think I'll do it for

(39:55):
the gays too. Like we're on thefloor honey. We're We're gonna
get beds because they want tostack as many as they can. But
honestly, like firewood, I don'tknow when they're gonna gas it
but I'm saying you will be on alist that says you are faring
very well. And we have GOPsenators right now saying that
they want every TV show andmovie that has any gay character

(40:16):
in it or LGBTQ person in it.
They need a special parentalwarning to say this has LGBTQ in
it. This person is weak. Weliterally can't even exist at
this point. Not having a specialwarning because your existence
is so offensive to me and myChristian family. Because we're

(40:36):
in a theocracy now. We live inIran. Iran we got any Iran
Bismillah hokhmah Rahim Oh, thatwas scary. But we're in Iran. Or
fucking mir Myanmar. I mean itliterally any of these fucky we
nicey really we are literallythey want us to become a psycho
religious country. It'sHandmaid's Tale. No, it really,

(40:57):
really is. And that's why Iwatched it, go watch it, I'm
ready to go to camp. I said, IToronto's offer away. It's a
diverse, multicultural city.
It's huge SAS of how sad thatwe're thinking about, like,
we're crying over heartstopper.
How we can be normals is great.
And then the next week, we'regoing to the concentration camp.
We're having a move out of thecountry, we have all of our
rights taken away just likethat, like supreme court issues

(41:19):
a decision. Your marriage isinvalid. You're not a good
person anymore. You can't existhere. I honestly I'm ready to
leave. I said fine. Pack up andgo fuck it. I can guess what I'm
gonna leave my student loansbehind, like peace out of
America. $300,000. That's legalin Canada, so I'll be there.

(41:41):
So it wouldn't be bad. I'm justsaying it wouldn't be bad. It's
sad. It's sad. I'm fuckingpissed. Actually, like, I don't
think we should have to livelike this. We shouldn't we live
in a country where everyone'srights if they oppose the old
white majorities. So sick ofactually minorities rights,
that's weird. Those are taken tobe really weird for me. And I

(42:04):
don't give a fuck TED is ourparents are now becoming those
old Republicans. So really, it'sour parents that are causing
these fucking issues. And Ididn't want to say it. But I
think I don't discuss anythingwith my palate. Well, I'm not
gonna lie to you, my the liethat you talk to your parents
know about it, the line isdrawn. Yeah, to be honest, like,

(42:24):
if you're gonna vote forsomebody who could definitely
vote for me to lose my rights.
Don't talk to me. I want to tellyou right now, you don't want to
talk to me. And this is where,and this is where I draw the
line as well. And Matt asked methis. He's like, Well, what are
your parents think about this? Isaid, Matt, I'm not gonna
fucking ask them. Why would it?
Why would I ask them anythingabout this? They have voted for
these people, who then supportedthe Supreme Court justices who

(42:49):
are now deciding this shit. Whywould I talk to them about this?
I don't give a fuck about them.
I'm sorry. Oh, they were greatpeople growing up. They're good
parents in some ways. But thenthey voted against one of their
sons interests. I'm done. Thatsounds cold hearted, and I don't
really care. And I'm not gonnacall it No, no, that's what I'm
saying is like, our parents actlike they love us. But there are

(43:09):
just certain classes of parentsthat really don't love us.
Right? They don't act likethey'll act like it. The problem
is, though, is they don't evenknow how to love because they
didn't love well. The problemis, who don't know how to love
but the reality is like, whycan't you see what I see? Hello?
Hi. I could literally get sentto a fucking camp. And people

(43:29):
laugh about it. Like, have younot if you can, right now a
teacher in Florida got fired.
For saying that she doesn't likemen that she's pansexual she's
attracted to all genders. So herpartner might be a woman might
be a man might be non binary.
Like that's her partner becauseshe is pansexual. And her kids
asked her she didn't like comeup to the kids and go, Oh, hey,

(43:52):
by the way, guys, have you everheard of pansexuality? That's
who I am. They asked her like,Oh, do you have a boyfriend?
She's like, No, no, I'mpansexual. And they're like,
what's that? Well, when she toldthem some kid then told their
mom homophobic idiot fuckingMama Bear parent at home. Then
they reported in kid don't needto sit through that. That done

(44:13):
that done. She fired. And by theway, this was in middle school.
It wasn't even that don't saygay law, where it's like K
through third grade or whatever.
This was in middle school, wherekids are clearly old enough to
understand this. And thatteacher got fired. So it's like
if you can lose your employmentwhat's next? Can you lose your
house? Can you lose youranywhere you can no more secure

(44:35):
ability to go to walk aroundtown. Talk to anyone. Oh, you
talk to a kid you could havebeen spreading your gay gospel
to them. You might be groomingthem. We got to silence you.
It's not that far away. Butmeanwhile, again, this is for
those who vote in our, in our inour own families. They're voting
for this. They're voting forthis and it's like, how do you
not see that this could honestlyreally affect me. It's not fun.

(44:57):
It's already it's affectingpeople. Why would you want to
affect anybody. We're watchingit affect people, right?
Disgusting. We're watching itaffect people right now who are
just like us. And then your guysare like, that's not all that's
not gonna happen. That can'thappen. No, no, it's already
happening. It's already there.
They don't want us on TV showsthey don't want us in movies.
They don't want us in schoolsteaching your children. They

(45:18):
don't want us anyway. They don'twant us to exist because then
they have to explain how it'snormal for us to exist. And it
has been for years. I do reallyfeel like if you're in that
category of like, whatever,you're gay, well, there's a lot
of them that are closetedbecause you meet a lot of
straight people. I have noproblem with us. They don't
care. I said that to my corkage.

(45:39):
I said, most passionate peopleare the ones have sucks and
fucking debt. The passionatepeople. They've sucked dick.
They've sucked dick. Oh, gay menare grooming. I'm like, You are
a gay man. Literally. Were onCraigslist last week and I
sucked you off. Right? And youprobably you probably coach your
son's little league team andwatch them all. Like you are

(45:59):
that person that you're sayingright is evil. You're that
person. And here's anotherthing. It's obvious just like
mine your goddamn business.
Well, what is this? The problemwith abortion too is like right,
like there's no proudest of thefact you're not a full citizen.
Because yeah, let me tell you, aclump of cells can end up
killing you. It can't be what?

(46:24):
It pisses me off because peopleare gonna die.

Bobby (46:28):
Women are gonna die. Or having a shitty as pregnancy. I
don't know why I don't know thefucking statistics. I don't know
the fucking details. But forwhatever reason, this baby is
about to kill this this woman ifshe does not get this baby out.
It's about that. But that's I'mtrying. I'm trying to like lay
it out. I know. I know. Thosewho are like, on my level. We're
like highest fucking drunk. Ijust love watching you explain

(46:49):
this, but you're right.

Jim (46:54):
That's why That's what I have to say not about the topic,
but I'm just watching you. AndI'm like really passionate about
that? Because I really, andhonestly, my mom could have
aborted me to be honest withyou. And hi gay and maybe better
off honestly, this point, Iwould be in the clear like I'm
on boarded. Now. I mean, whenyou don't talk to your family,

(47:14):
it's like you're bored. Oh, showyou how to break through. Don't
give a fuck. You're basicallythe aborted baby of the family.
I was aboard that you lived inthere. Like I was alive. I was
alive. 20 year old abortion.

Bobby (47:28):
Holy shit. My mother had a choice to keep me or to abort
me. And honestly, she made thewrong choice she I mean, I've
been honest. That's what I gottaread my book choices

Jim (47:40):
should they really feels like honey. Yeah, I was not
actually a fan. Need yourwhacking me. So I do want to say
you are right, this will affectthe poorest among us the worst
because you're gonna die.
Listen, Republican mistresseswill always be able to get their

(48:02):
abortion, the men will alwayspay for them to travel to
California, right, fly to NewYork City, go to the abortion
clinic and get it done. But thepeople who live in rural Texas
and have to drive eight hours toget to the nearest clinic,
they're not going to have timeto take off work to get
childcare for their kids thatthey already have three kids
they can't afford and drive tothis clinic and then take two
days there to get the abortionpill and then way and bla bla

(48:25):
bla bla bla they can't affordall that and they don't time for
that. So guess what? They'regonna carry this baby to term
and then put it in a documentadoption? Well, these pro life
people don't give a fuck aboutthe kid have a whole slide I'm
gonna let you all these pro lifepeople what have they ever done
to help kids? Nothing or thewhole system like we don't have
maternity leave. We don't havehealth care. We don't have

(48:48):
childcare. What are these prolife people doing to change? You
know, rape is bad, but like evenif a legitimate rape was your
brother alive, it was recent. Ican't but if it's come from a
legitimate rape, what like okay,like a 13 year old, the word
raised by her father has tocarry the baby to term because
that's a bad day. So they'remore concerned. Maybe like,

(49:10):
well, the rape happened so itdoesn't matter. That little
clump of cells they have tocarry it to term. I'm What were
you gonna say? There she isdrinker. Do Shelby. Drink you
Jess. What was I just sayingthough? Something about the
juice. Because no, please. No,not that. That's not helping.

(49:31):
The only thing that will helpyou know. Oh my god. I feel like
you're just I feel like we'rerecording me getting drugged
right now and that's fine. I'drather be recorded it because
you don't want to watch itlater. And that was a really
good sound.

Bobby (49:52):
This is like the whole I'm probably like so high right
now. You're not more than two.
It's fine. I get it. I did doit. are you dragging me? I'm
drowning. I'm fully fuckingdrugged right now. Gay couples
adopt more than straightcouples. They also foster more
than straight people. That's thecraziest thing to me. So the
people who cannot conceive aregoing to take care of your

(50:15):
bullshit that you also give us ahard time for doing because
we're not Christian or whatever.
Fuck you.

Jim (50:22):
And I'm seriously so fucking mad. I am. It's this
whole week has been anger,anger, anger every day I wake up
and I'm like, I fucking hatethis country. I told Matt I was
like, I have no attachments tothis place, either. And when
people are like, God blessAmerica, I'm like, why we sold
the land. We killed a bunch ofNative Americans. We had slaves
to build our economy. Then wetreated the slaves terrible

(50:44):
after we freed them. And nowwe're just like, Oh, God bless
America. It's a fucking awfulplace. We're still doing wars
for no reason. Remember, right?
So cause really issues. Well,reason Ahmed Hussein has weapon
off the map. There's like amarch or maybe we're already
blown from that movie. Thisepisode doesn't even come out.
It's days I feel like we'll bestill doing today. We're gonna

(51:06):
be on the day. It's only we'llSunday's in two days. I feel
like in two days we're gonna beon the map. I'm not gonna lie
maybe I'll try to get out onSunday maybe we'll just like try
to get out to where the moon

Bobby (51:17):
you're like we're gonna be we're gonna be blown off the
map what the map of Earth Russiais like threatening to like blow
everybody up where? Everywherelike they're they're like this
they're wanting the west theyhave like a pro World War Two
parade whatever the fuck thatmeans. And they're gonna Yeah,
it's like they're gonna bethey're gonna be celebrating

(51:37):
they're gonna show this whentheir nuclear arms and then
they're and then

Jim (51:43):
okay, George W Bush and then Putin supposed to say like
West don't do it. I feel likehe's kind of like, Hi gay. West
don't do what's the guy? Dude

Bobby (51:57):
awesome powers but Dr.
Evil I feel like Putin. milliondollars like that's Putin.
That's 1 billion. Yeah, no. Andwe're Beyonce. Our fat bastard
America is fat back where?
Beyonce more Beyonce, the gaysor Beyonce? Oh, fuck

Jim (52:16):
I have a good one. But okay. Well, we'll end with mine
because you and you went out onyours? Yeah, sure. I'm ready.
Okay, now I know. One story bothending or your cover story left?
Are you ending before me or am Iending after? Yeah, that's the
question all and I'll go firstand you and I'll like wrap it

(52:38):
up. Great Grandma of oursundries. We do have some stuff,
because I just talk aboutquitting. So winning now. Just
scaring you dumb fat. Don'tstop. choke me. I'm just really
got fun. I know. I'm notactually quitting. I'm kidding.
Oh my god, I was teasing you butthat also scares me because

(52:59):
that's how much I rely on you.
So it's kind of scary. No, ow. Ithink I'm breast cancer. Well,
we'll take it out. Time formastectomy now. Okay, so not
obviously fucking quitting dumbID you're gonna be the one to
have to end this shit. We'regonna be well that's the thing
is I'm I'm ready for yours. I'mrock hard and ready. There was a
story last week that I heardthat I'm a little concerned

(53:20):
about given our current state ofaffairs with the fact that the
Christians hate us and want tohang us up on the wall their
love of Allah. Handmaid's Tale.
There's like all of us are goingto prison, although not all
well, Allah is also evil becausehe's not Christian. But I heard

(53:40):
that there was a little handplay penis play at a hobby lobby
in your past. And I waswondering, did you write this?
Because and I was wonderingwhere that came from? And why
exactly were you jerking off ina Hobby Lobby and tell the
truth. I need the truth and whowasn't with and take a sip of

(54:02):
your juice first? I don't know.
I don't know who and tell us whoit was. But you know, you know
who was with? You're such aliar. I don't Oh, my God. I was
a random This is Craigslist daysand it was a hobby highway. And
I was like, You still there andit was like when email was kind
of big, but I was like you stillthere and he's like, Yeah, I'm

(54:22):
going into the bathroom. I said,that's like I'm not even telling
him that I can see the HobbyLobby from my house. I walk
around and then he emailed youI'm going into the Hobby Lobby
past his post was like jerkingoff in the Hobby Lobby bathroom
on Alpharetta highway, blah,blah. And I'm like, I live right
there. Yeah, this is so fun.
Okay, but he wasn't that hot.
Honestly, I didn't it doesn'tgross wiener that he like jerked

(54:44):
it too much. It was like skinwas like it was like kind of a
gross wiener. But at the actualact was hot and I came. Yeah,
but I know what you mean. Likeit's the skin's a little dry?
Yeah, we've all seen the Wienerwhere you're like you're
drinking too much drinking toomuch. You're doing too much.
You're not doing enough. You'renot doing enough. Boil you need
to hydrate the skin you need tokeep it moist. And that's a tip.
And that's the tip of the week.

(55:05):
That's the tip. Keep your deckMoist. Moist and make sure you
use some Lubriderm too muchLubriderm I used to just fucking
Bath and Bodyworks sweet paybaby. I used to steal it from my
sister. That way what I stilllotion for my sister masturbate
with it. It was like sweet pigsweet pea. Like have you been

(55:25):
up? There's a lot of fragrancesand scents I mean, I would not
put that shit on my deck. That'sgot to burn that you remember
that? Actually, what is whatcaused the slow and growth? It
started me. Well, it's dauntingthis way. Based on what I felt
it stunted your deck. And butno, I always use like a

(55:46):
fragrance free and then recentlyI've discovered this brand
called cake. I've heard of it.
It's amazing. Oh my god. I'veeven given I've given this loop
away like it's the best. It'scalled Slow. Mo lotion. Slow
homo. Slow motion. Okay, slowmouth. So it's like ready for
like the slow. Anyways, now whatwere you going to end on? You

(56:06):
know, so anyway, I jerked off atthe urinal at the Hobby Lobby,
and we both came. Were you bothlike staring at like creepy blue
sweatpants. He's like a creepy,like, I mean, he probably draw
so he was facing the urinal. Andyou were on that Arnold's and he
was looking at we were lookingat each other in between the
arrivals. Yeah. So if you're onthe left side, yeah, we were
like this. But then somebodycame in and we would both print

(56:26):
and up. But then how long werethey in there? Like when he came
in? Okay, so Hobby Lobby. Imean, know what, what else? The
Christians were like, there's noreally straight. Well, I'm not
gonna put people in boxes, butyou can. They're putting us in
bars, not that many gay crushedboxcar trains on the way to the
camps. Now, what I want to endwith was something that is that
we've talked about at work. Andobviously, you know, your

(56:51):
opinion on smells too. So getready. What is your opinion on
knowing when somebody comes outof the bathroom? Like knowing
it's them? Does it ruin yourimpression of that person? If
you go in there near like, Oh,do you know I'm saying?

(57:13):
You don't saying yes. And Iwould say you all say, I know
what you're saying. And itdepends on the smell. No, I'm
talking like, okay, so okay, atwork. There's some

Bobby (57:26):
situations in the bathroom where like, some guys
like really stank. And it's notjust I believe it. It's not just
poop though. It's like oldwhole, like, straight Hall.
That's like kind of cakey andlike, when you're

Jim (57:42):
talking sound, that's the poop. You're opening the hole.
It's like that's, I just got awall. I just gotta be like, Oh,
from that sound. Right. So okay,there's a theory that's going
around at work that tells methere's a difference between
like, dirty, smelly, and poopysmelly. There's a difference

(58:05):
between your asshole stinkinglike you have poop versus just
pooping. Okay, I can see whatI'm saying. There's someone who
likes something he saysdifference between the smell of
poop in the toilet water and thesmell of you like your asshole.
Like, rocking crusty, bypeppery, peppery? Well, I'm

(58:25):
telling you people, some peopleeat wrong. Some people just eat
wrong. And I have some I had afriend. You actually know him.
And we went on a trip onceagain. Well, I'm telling you
this. No, oh. We went on a tripto maybe a ski area and the

(58:49):
smell that I smelled. When Iwent in the bathroom was so
deathly. That I vowed never togo in the bathroom after him was
a very good partner. I willwithhold judgment. Actually, I'm
worse than him. Well, maybe itwasn't either of you. So was I

(59:12):
there? You were there. Oh, theother one. That bad, huh? So no
matches or anything. And then itrecurred. It happened again at
my house another time. And I wasjust like, so shocked. I I
literally was like, well, thatperson left. 20 minutes ago. I

(59:34):
better go to bed. So I'm like Ibetter go brush my teeth. It's
been 20 minutes since they left.
They were in there a while soI'll give them time. 20 minutes
later, I go in there. I'm notkidding you. I got sent back to
the age of the dinosaurs. I waslike, beyond dead. I literally
was like, Oh no, I opened allthe windows in the whole house.
It was that bad. I lit a candle.

(59:57):
I lit a match. I came in In witha sage thing and like, clear the
year huli Huli. I literally, soI know what you're talking
about. There are just certain Iagree with your work people
there are certain I don't wantto know what you smell like
though. Like, I don't want toknow what you smell like like I
don't like especially if you'relike a hot one of the hot ones.

(01:00:19):
Like I don't want to go in afteryou and want to throw up because
if that well never look at youthe same again now. Oh, do you
have a fetish on that? So theguys you like you want to go in
that stinky bathroom? Oh, no,it's not a fetish. It's just
that you like, I realizedthere's something about me
recently. Oh, it's a problem.
And it's not a fetish. It's justa thing. I mean, I could tell

(01:00:40):
you a couple iniciativa before Islap your face. Right? There are
and I don't know if you'veexperienced this before, but
there's like, you know howstraight guys like you're around
some of them and they like treatyour buddy buddy and like your
friends and occasionally like acouple of the hot ones that

(01:01:03):
you're like friends with willjokingly fart around you. And
they're like, and then you mightwant to clear the room, right?
And then they like waft ittowards you. They're like, Oh,
don't smell this one. Andthey're like joking, but you're
like, Oh, you like it? No, Idon't actually like the smell. I
just like the fact that they'recomfortable around me. And so

(01:01:23):
when they do it again, I'm inOh, I'm like one of the guys
like you're farting around me.
Therefore I want to suck yourdick tonight that see that's
opposite No, but it's actuallyhappened. Where it's gone
quickly from like joking around,buddy, buddy. And then a couple
days later, I'm sucking yourdick. So I'm like, whenever that

(01:01:43):
starts to happen, I'm kind oflike, are you telling me that
you want me to blow you or areyou just farting? Because you
had Chipotle for lunch? For me?
Can I can be a dirtymotherfucker. Okay, but are the
ones shitting and barfing at thesame time? Sorry, they've had
some problems. You're absolutelyfucking Foul. Foul. We know. Me
for me.

(01:02:10):
Dammit. We're talking aboutstraight man forest like you're
just fucking gross. Like cleanerasshole. I'm tired of it. I'm
tired of your dirty assholes.
You're probably fuckingRepublican. You know the people
that they're always Republican.
Why? In conclusion, inconclusion, inclusion, inclusion
well inclusion getting the rightfor your lives because I
actually at this point, it'sover. This is our next set

(01:02:32):
before this fall. Like if wedon't turn it around. We're
gonna have to have a revolution.
I'm not lying. No, I'm notfucking kidding you. They're
like, Oh, Riot revolution. It'snot just going to be like, Oh, I
hope nick the next cycle. Weelect better people. No, it's
gonna be like, You know what,fuck this shit. What are the
girls in the gays get together?
We would overpower all of them.
But we were more where wewouldn't smarter. We're funnier.

(01:02:53):
We're better looking. We havevaginas and assholes, like, and
some of our guys have big titson both ends. Oh, yeah. Oh, our
I feel like I have. Do you havebreast cancer going? No. It's
the weed. Um I have read andI've read about that too. And

(01:03:15):
I'm nervous. These cities arepuffing up because he's now
trying to get more listeners somaybe I'll just like strip every
week. Yeah, Nana what's oursundry?

(01:03:38):
Is sundries sundries is nextweek we're Focht because I'm
going to be gone for eight daysinto Monday that well actually
Tuesday at 17. So if we can doOh no, I might episode alone. To
say a word. Like really bad. OrI could try from Wi Fi in Toluca

(01:04:00):
do a little like I could do likea little love that. Hi, I'm on a
beach somewhere. I'll give youequipment. Yeah, I'll give you
like, do you have equipment? DoI? Yeah, it's in a greenback and
my closet. Honey bitch girl.
Fuck. Whoa. sundries for me.
sundries for you. Our I hope yousurvived the night and where's

(01:04:21):
your husband? My husband's outof town. He comes back for a day
and then he goes back out oftown for another 10 days. And
for me. You're in heaven. I hateyou. I'm so lucky. You know,
it's nice. It's one of sundries.
I have slept in my own bed forthe past four nights because my
partner Matt is snoring sofucking loud from allergies. And
yes, I had an COVID testedbecause I said test yourself.
Because I thought he had COVID Igot a submarine. So back into

(01:04:43):
loom though. I was like testyourself, honey, honey. And he
did it because I've got dict tosuck. And he is COVID Negative,
but he's sleeping in ourstepsons bed because I cannot
listen to the story and get anyrest. So I'm not seen in the
middle of my king sized bed.
It's amazing. I'm in the middleof the fucking with pillows

(01:05:05):
around me three blankets on.
Imagine that a dog like mesitting there like Oh, it's so
great when our husbands are awayit's the best I'm not lying
anymore when we love them. It'sthe best way. Are you telling me
later when we do love them? Welove that we do we really weird.
It's weird. Yeah. I love tuckinghim in in the other bed though.
I will say that. I will say thatlike goodnight will say that.

(01:05:27):
Actually, like, kiss goodnight.
Bye. And then I find that mynest and then I'm like, Okay,
it's quiet. Yeah, it's beenquite an adventure. But we are
better away from our husbandstoo. It's weird. It's weird. We
kind of go on a hole. It's weirdhow we need the reliable deck.
But we also need like, a deck.
For me. It's more or less like,I just like being around him.

(01:05:48):
But also, it's like a love hate.
It's like, I love being aroundyou and I hate being around you.
And I don't know what really isactually true. But that's what I
think a relationship really endsup being. Well, that's why any
healthy relationship itshouldn't be that way. If you
love being around each other allthe time. You're codependent
like you have a problem. If yougo to therapy, like you're
fucked up. You're like yourpartner shouldn't be you're on

(01:06:11):
the couch and then we climb intobed together and then we make
milk shakes. In the morning. Wehave omelets. We really have so
much fun now that like no bitch.
I smelled you in the bathroomthe other day I started. No,
absolutely. But yeah, so nowclusion Oh, son. Are we doing
with sundries? I think we are Ithought there was gonna be done.
I just I'm scared. I'm scaredfor you walking down the stairs.

(01:06:34):
It's fine. I've had to eat. I'mscared. You're like I had Taco
Bell for lunch. I had a choice.
You heard it was a choice andget our new merge. Look at our
new merch. It's hot. It's hot.
If you have tips like these on aMonday, it's gonna cover my
block. You gotta get dark Yeah,hi dark and they do actually do

(01:06:55):
and lean back too. And that waythey don't sag when you had to
have this little sash orwhatever. And I would recommend
getting this get this lightbehind you to make you look
skinnier and from the back. Andhonestly though, from our last
episode, I really should juststart showing my ass. You looked
so hot when you're on your sideand kind of hot legs and like I
was like, once the belly is gonethat acid. Honestly, like no

(01:07:16):
offense, but that might be thepicture. Thank you for
listening. We love you. And wewill see you whenever we see
you. I don't know what's gonnahappen next. I just don't really
I mean, I'm sure they'd knowwhat to expect for like, expect
nothing. expect the worst andmaybe we'll get something good.
Thank you. Bye bye batch

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