Not Your Therapist

Not Your Therapist

Life is messy, relationships are complicated, and let’s be real—mental health can feel like a full-time job. If you’re looking for down-to-earth, no-BS conversations about navigating stress, relationships, and personal growth, you’re in the right place. I’m Kayla Reilly, a licensed therapist, entrepreneur, and real-life human who knows that wellness isn’t about perfection—it’s about finding what actually works for you. This show is for anyone who wants approachable mental health tools, relatable insights, and a little humor along the way. Each episode, we break down the good, the bad, and the downright frustrating parts of life—from managing anxiety and breaking toxic patterns to setting boundaries and creating balance (without the guilt). No therapy jargon, no fluff—just real talk and practical strategies to help you feel more grounded in your everyday life. Hit play, get comfortable, and let’s figure this life thing out together.

Episodes

May 19, 2025 15 mins

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Ever feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.

In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood messages about productivity ...

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Ever hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.

It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m breaking down why learning to validate you...

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The quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.

When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.

After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpack the slow-burn pain of emotional inv...

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Dr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize their hurt feelings over their children&...

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Are you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.

In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official diagnosis with three distin...

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Ever wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication.

"You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time," Erin observes, highl...

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Struggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.

In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC. We div...

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When Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting resources in the area: The Wilmington Mo...

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Your Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for You

Diet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually trying to keep you alive.

From childhood, we ...

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Struggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST, joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back.

We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, including the role of stress, hormonal change...

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Ever wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA, joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy.

We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew—from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apologize for crying in session. If you’ve eve...

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Ever feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally deserves it.

💡 What You’ll Learn:

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Ever wondered why you have emotions—or why they sometimes feel like they’re running your entire life? In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down the science behind emotions, what they’re actually trying to tell you, and how to deal with them without letting them take over. Spoiler alert: Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re data. You just need to know how to read them.

💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ What e...

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Ever feel like you’re either all in on health—meal prepping, intense workouts, cutting out everything fun—or completely off the wagon? That all-or-nothing mindset is exhausting, unsustainable, and (spoiler alert) not the key to long-term health.

In this episode, I sit down with health coach Liz Rodriguez to reframe what real wellness looks like. We’re ditching the toxic perfectionism around food and fitness and learnin...

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Did your childhood leave you with some emotional gaps? Enter reparenting—the process of giving yourself the love, support, and validation you may not have received growing up. In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we break down what reparenting is, why it matters, and how you can start healing old wounds by becoming the nurturing, compassionate parent you needed. Learn practical strategies to soothe your inner child, se...

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Dissociation: When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma Response

Ever found yourself zoning out mid-conversation or realizing you don’t remember the last five minutes of your drive? You’re not alone. This might be dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism that helps protect the brain from stress and trauma.

In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:
✅ What dissociation is and why it happens.
✅ The neuros...

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Did you know your gut is your “second brain”? The connection between your gut and brain, known as the gut-brain axis, plays a huge role in your mental health. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we explore how what you eat can impact anxiety, depression, and your overall mood.

Learn why your gut health matters, the signs of gut imbalance, and the foods that can either harm or heal your microbiome. We’ll also share s...

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Your brain is constantly filtering reality, but what if those filters are twisting the truth? Cognitive distortions are sneaky thought patterns that make you believe things that aren’t actually true—and they’re a major reason behind anxiety, relationship problems, and low self-esteem.

In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:

✅ What cognitive distortions are and how they hijack your thinking
✅ Real-life ...

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Ever find yourself getting irrationally annoyed at someone, only to realize later that you were actually mad at yourself? Or maybe someone accused you of something completely off-base, and you thought, Wait… that’s not me, that’s YOU!? That, my friends, is projection, one of the sneakiest defense mechanisms that can wreck relationships and keep us from real self-awareness.

In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re diving ...

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Toddler tantrums are tough, but they’re also a normal (albeit exhausting) part of parenting. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re diving into the chaos of meltdowns to help you survive them with your sanity intact. You’ll learn why tantrums happen, what’s going on in your child’s brain during a meltdown, and why reasoning with them is impossible in the heat of the moment.

We’ll also tackle how your toddler’s bi...

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