#10. Guest Jonathan Ziegel: Colonoscopies & Bassett Hounds

We record live, in the same room too in Sumner, WA with guest, Jonathan Ziegel. Last recording of 2023 and easily the best for last.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Get a full screen, we can go back up there.
Yeah, I'm going to do that rightthere.
But I'm going to also be able tosee the time.
What? What time is it?
Use your phone for the. Time I I turned my phone off
because I was oh, you know what?Right there, Sport 22.
OK, we're 9 seconds into recording, OK, No, we're
already. Recording.

(00:22):
Awesome. Not at all, actually.
No, we're not recording. Oh, are we recording?
Yeah, we are recording. OK.
Hi, I'm Marian Riley. Do we want, do we want to tilt
it down? We can get something.
To meet the oh Lord that. Looks like a.

(00:42):
Meeting. Man, this is.
My God damn God. Welcome to my podcast.
These are my friends. This is my brother Darrell.
This is my other brother, Darrell.
I'm the half brother, Jimbo. Bob anywhere?
Yeah, just. Just.

(01:03):
Get. On Wait, can we zoom out a
little? Bit oh.
There we go. Yeah, now we can fishing.
Maybe you won't even like scoot because you're still not on the
screen. You know that, right?
OK, come. On If I go too far, I'm going to
fall over. OK, don't do.
That. Hey, I'm in.

(01:26):
There. Yeah, I read it.
Do. We still want to because it's
still half. Of the screen is north of us.
Can we put like a book behind the wings or underneath the?
Wings is. There a way that we can bring
this down? Do you?
Want. This.
Let's just see here. Yeah, this.

(01:46):
Might be that's actually better.Oh, is it?
But it might be too much. I think there might be too much.
Yeah, something smaller than this.
Oh, yeah. Oh.
Man, OK. Let's give it a shot.
CHS two, what do we think? That's pretty good, huh?
Coming to to you there. Still recording.

(02:08):
Good, Yeah. We've been recording for, like,
a minute now, so have a good day.
Oh, this is way better. OK, Well, all right, ladies and
gentlemen. OK.
Yes. So, ladies and gentlemen, meet
our third member of our new pie of our podcast.
I think we. I think we.
The search is over. Please don't send any of your
videos anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to

(02:30):
another Splendid episode, A special episode of It's Not
About You With myself, Jamal Harrington and my wonderful Co
host here Marianne Riley. Our our very special guest today
in studio today is our good friend, fellow stand up comedian
from New York City resides in New York City.
Jonathan Siegel. Hey, what's up everybody?

(02:55):
I'm glad to be here, coming livefrom Tacoma, WA.
OK, it is a balmy 43°. It is rainy and foggy.
The fog is lifted. OK, tonight we're going to get a
low of 32°. OK, but tomorrow we should
expect some scattered clouds andpotential for a little bit of
mist. OK, I got to get going.

(03:15):
Pretty accurate. So we were talking.
Actually. It's funny because we were
talking earlier today about the difference between how you can
tell on East Coast, West Coast if they're from there or not.
And we said in Seattle, if you can always tell a tourist in
Seattle because they're carryingan umbrella and you guys are

(03:38):
saying you could always tell a tourist in New York because
they're fat. That's what I've learned.
I've learned that being a fat guy in New York makes people
assume I'm a tourist and people are always trying to get me
directed. No.
And. If you were fat.
If you're fat and you're riding the subway.
Because if you're fat, you clearly have a car you know,

(04:00):
like, because you don't. Walk all the.
Places. That's unfortunately very true.
Yeah, but then The funny thing is like when I see a fat person
on a train and it's sad because it's like.
They're looking at me. You know what I'm saying?
It's like these skinny bastards are looking at me and they're
able bodied and they could run up the stairs and I'm on stair
#2 by the time they get to the top.
And it's just like, but it's just like, but it's just, I

(04:23):
mean, and again, I'm not disparaging the overweight, the,
the weightly challenged or whatever they call themselves.
The weightly challenged that's that's pretty good.
Why don't you call them skinny deficit skinniness?
Yeah, fluffy. Fluffy.
Comfortable. Give it flossy.

(04:45):
You lost hope. Give me.
Heaters. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely.
We have heat seekers. We have heat generators.
The the the non skipper of food.Like what was the last time you
ate 3 minutes ago? Members of the.
Yeah, yeah, hold on. That's a bullshit assumption.
Y'all people think that fat people eat a lot.
And I'm telling you, I was a lot.
I've there is such a thing as genetics to come into play.

(05:07):
You ever see somebody, it's also.
Late night eating. Yeah.
That's true, yeah. Did you see those people?
Who are super skinny and nothing.
No matter what they do, they cannever put on weight.
Yeah, well, there's also the opposite.
Like people. There are people that have a
hard time losing weight. That's not true.
I've seen you fat. Not that, no.
That's not true. You're not one of those I've
seen. Yeah, I.
Also, feel bad for people who are like vegan and like cut out

(05:30):
so much of their diet and then are also still fat.
Yeah, and it's like, you poor thing, You're sacrificing so
much of the pleasure of life, yeah.
To then. Suffer worse than a lot of other
people still, you know. See, I don't understand.
Like, I can understand vegan forhealth reasons, but I can't
understand somebody who willingly stops eating meat

(05:54):
because they think, Oh my God, that pork chicken.
Have you met a chicken? Do you know how stupid chickens
are? You know, like.
Sometimes it's a blessing. I'm I'm not kidding.
Turkeys. Turkeys are what?
They're delicious. Especially.
If you Oh, if you. Fry them, be fried they're,
they're. Amazing help to think about when
you go to a store restaurant andyou order the chicken wings.

(06:14):
Like 10 or 12 or whatever. That's five or six chickens that
need to die for you to get your plate of wings.
And then half the time people like leave a couple wings
behind. It's like whole lives were just
for. Absolutely no reason just for
you to feel good about that. So that's why we're.
Fat. Because, you know, we.
Sacrifice Clean Plate Club members.

(06:35):
Yes, You know, I never thought. About that whenever I'm ordered
with. Like, Oh yeah, we kind of get a.
Half a dozen wings, I'm like. Yo, that's.
Like. That's that's like what?
Three baby birds. They're not baby circle on.
Grown. But no.
But I mean, I'm talking like thelittle tiny wings that they gave
you ought to be. That's just a real.
Size wings. Those are the ones that are non
genetically enhanced. When you get a chicken wing

(06:57):
that's that big, that's the sizeof a Turkey wing.
Yeah, suspect. Also, I'm totally preoccupied
with the fact he wants three baby birds.
We're talking about dozen, maybe10, you know, 10.
We're talking 5-6. We're talking a basketball team
worth of chicken. Yeah, he wants 3 little baby
wings. That's why you look like you
and. Right.
Like, what's the least amount ofwings I can order?
What's the least amount of livesthat was killed by making these

(07:20):
small ass wings small girls have?
A healthy appetite. That is one thing.
When you sit around with your mom, he'll kill you.
Know he'll have. My I will be sure to have 6
beers in the course of a day doing a work game.
Yeah I will. I will.
I don't know it's it's I mean I I can't explain.
I do a lot of walking. I I do have a gym membership so
I go to gym from time to time. But it's just like, I don't I I

(07:43):
cut out a lot of, I mean I used to eat Little Debbie snack cakes
when I was. I see a lot of those and it was
and and I eat way less of them now.
It's really hard for me to cut that out because it was just
like it's a part of my childhood.
I've been eating them for almostyou know, like 20 years.
You know what I'm saying? I've.
Heard his childhood for 20 years, and he's 40.
One and and sorry look I never. Said I was.

(08:04):
I never said you. Know I never said I was bright.
You guys just assumed it, OK? You are the chicken and.
My OK, look, this is what happens when you get a high
school education and I suck. I hate that.
OK, I went to school in the United States of America, not

(08:24):
China. So, But yeah, so, but, you know,
so yeah, I mean, I've been eating Little Debbies.
I mean I've been eating Little Debbies back.
And when I say back in the day when they were $0.25, you know,
so like $5 fed me a lot, Fed a lot during the week, You know,
it's like I was just like stocking up.
But then, you know, like graduate, they became $0.50.
They became a dollar. And I'm like, wow, just, you

(08:45):
know, tell me you don't want me to buy anymore little heavy
snack eggs because of the economy.
But every once in a while, I'll eat one.
But it's just like I'll go to the grocery.
Store. Or like the bode goes and
that'll be like the first thing that I'll look for just to see
if they have it. But I won't buy it.
I'm just like looking through them.
I'm like looking through them like they're like like CDs at
like a store and it's like, oh, you guys got the the Swiss

(09:05):
rolls. OK, that's cool.
When you guys getting the the honey buns, I don't see anybody
such a weird. Dynamic about our relationship
with food, right? It's like and it's like you know
food to us as adults is about like what we when we were
younger what would our. Parents make What were the.
Sweets and what were the plates,right?
Because that's home and that's family.
The comfort. But then I often find that I

(09:26):
everything's bad. And.
I'll and I'll go on like little vendors where I go healthy and
I'm like, I have to abandon everything that I associated
with my childhood and all the memories, all stuff.
So it's like there's always thispush pull.
It's always like stretching the organ and pulling, retracting,
right? The things that eventually make
you feel good but physically make you feel like Xbox, you
know, and and you're kind of balancing that and you know,

(09:47):
I've lost the world with that balance clearly.
I've gone clearly to the dark side.
But I do know that things too, that one of the things in my
family, I associate vending machine chocolate with hospitals
like. Because any time one of the
family members ended up in the hospital or died, we were
hitting the vending machine. Like, you know, let's get some.

(10:08):
Like that was our comfort to tryand calm us down when we're all
sitting there in a waiting room.So it was something that was but
like. And then again, also with the
foods that I have grown up that I really enjoy cooking because
it brings back my Thai meat and you know, things like chili and
Stew and roast and all that stuff.

(10:29):
The husband won't eat. He's like, no, he doesn't like
any of it. And I'm like, well, this sucks.
I mean, I I love to cut and the and she.
The food that she makes is good,like I've had the pleasure of,
you know I don't. Know she.
I don't. You know, I I wouldn't know she.
Oh my God, so good. Like I it pulls.

(11:05):
People out of the woodwork. And and she would make it like
the Super Bowl, like. Always and it.
Was. Basically, Super Bowl season.
Oh, I know Super Bowl is my holiday now Jamal can testify.
And there is like, I don't care if any of the other people in my
life want to host. Christmas.
Or Thanksgiving. Go ahead.

(11:26):
Y'all. So when it comes to Super Bowl?
Super Bowl service. That's mine and my old house I
had. I had a porch that knocked out
the porch and put a 20 foot neckand my sister said it reminded
her of a stage because just the way it was angled.
And said it looked like a. Stage too right?
Yeah. Air was white and I had big
picture glass window and I had like a like a 75 inch TV so that

(11:49):
we could turn it so people couldstand outside and smoke.
Yeah, where they wanted to smokeand still see inside and it was
loud enough they couldn't do the.
Game. Right.
Fighting. You know, it's just, you know,
whenever you have a deck in front of your home and you're
throwing parties and like Super Bowl parties, it was just like
very, it's like very inviting. And then like, yeah, you could
turn the TV, You'd be outside and people in the living room

(12:11):
even can still see it and you'rejust outside and people see it
as well. Yeah, this.
Is definitely like the biggest difference between like New York
City and everywhere else. Because, like in New York, you
don't host, like, you want to watch Super Bowl.
You go to a bar, you go to bar, you go to a bar, you go to a
bar, right? You go to a sports bar, you go
to. And you got to see that bar you.
Whatever, right? You got to be with the noise in

(12:31):
the crowd and the $18.00 nachos and all that other shit anywhere
else. It's about pimping your house
out. Yeah, it's about stadium
seating. Yeah, it's about Big Island in
the kitchen, yeah, and it's about trays and trays of food.
It's about things, Yeah, great atmosphere.
It's about lighting. It's like.
It's and that's what we throw down like we throw down like I
remember Jamal and Justin Hayes.They drove to my house, out in

(12:53):
span, away through the. Snow.
I mean, it was a big old snow, but they knew I had.
Food. We bought a dog.
We bought a dog. And they they came all the way
through the snow too, because they knew that I had all the
food. And I did.
I mean I had like just tons of food and that's, but that's one.
And I always take the day after Super Bowl off, so like.
Yeah, yeah, well, and recover from your hangover and

(13:15):
everything. Like it used to be that but now
I. Mean.
Yeah, drink. I just I would just I use it to
to the next day I get to get I. Always.
I always felt like the Sunday, the Monday after the Super Bowl
should be like a like a nationalholiday, you know, Like if you
want to jump off a Cliff becauseyou lost money.
Yeah. After Saint Patty's Day should
be a break. They're just turning.

(13:36):
The holiday after Halloween should be a break if we can, you
know. But definitely after Super Bowl
because they they do, they've done the the math on behind it
and they say how many billions of dollars companies.
So it's because people don't come in, they are not productive
and the production that they do is usually wrong.

(13:57):
So they have to go back in and correct all those mistakes.
So why are you guys? Why even be open?
You know? And The thing is, I get it, but
not everybody, but it should be used as a floating holiday.
And if almost everybody in the whole company wants to take it
off, maybe. You should.
Take, you know, like, hey, we'renot going to give it to you as a
holiday, a paid holiday. But if you want to use it for a
vacation day, by all means, we're not.
But I'll tell you something, I think I feel like more people

(14:19):
that I work with take off or watch soccer.
Like when the Cubs are playing or World Clap or whatever, and I
see all the laptops, like set upto show a soccer match or a
football match. You know, like that seems to be
more of a preoccupation for people in America than it does
even the Super Bowl. Like Grant people be at their
homes for Super Bowl. So it's not exactly the same,

(14:40):
but like that soccer phenomenon that takes our country over, he.
Has a lot. He has a point because that my
my other job that I was working at World Cup, we had our phones
open and we're like working while watching the World Cup,
even in the offices like the sales office, they had the World
Cup on their phones while they're on the phone, so.

(15:02):
Which is interesting because, like, it's just like, I've never
seen anyone speak up in corporate America.
And having employees like play soccer matches on their phones
or on a laptop, Yeah, they just go well, it's that day.
Yes, they don't. They don't.
I mean, as long as you be productive, I'm sure.
But it's just like I remember, you know, my we would have a a

(15:23):
tablet like this and it'll be set up for whatever games that
was on, you know, because because of the rooms.
Monitors. Yeah.
Just out of curiosity, So I knowthat the the nature of the work
that I did that it was predominantly Latino, OK.
Is that kind of similar with youguys?
Because I know with with. Coworkers.

(15:43):
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. We were like 95%.
Latino. My, my job, it was Puerto Rican,
black mixed. But everybody was watching it.
White people in the offices werewatching it.
And that's what shocked me because I'm like, oh, you guys
are into the World Cup. Oh, my, my family's from
Germany. So it's more of like, so
everyone is like repping their countries or just And again it's

(16:06):
it's across the world, it's on the other side of the world.
So the times that it's on, you know, it's different.
So it's just like these guys, ifif there was a game that they
weren't interested in, they justwouldn't, you know, I'm not
going to watch it. I'll get as much work done.
And then, you know, when it comes on at 12 noon, like during
your lunch break, you're going to sit there and you're going to
watch, you know, you're going towatch it for, you know, what, an

(16:27):
hour and a half, two hours. But it's just like and and it
shocks me because, like, even when I was going to, like, I
didn't, like, ask it to A to a Funeral Home.
And I could hear the sounds of the game, but the guy was like,
oh, where where do I sign? I'm like, are you watching the
World Cup? He's like, he's like, yeah, you
know, my family's from Argentina.
I'm like, oh, OK. So it's just like a lot of

(16:47):
people just repping their country and, you know, so
that's, and that's what I love about the World Cup.
I like the world. And I forgot that I love the
Super Bowl. Next sporting event, World Cup.
Walk the World Cup. Yeah, and I think I, you know, I
guess it's soccer is becoming a lot more mainstream like
Washington now has. We have a professional team,
which like I would probably go to, but it's so expensive.

(17:10):
I mean, you know, like all of our sporting events are
outrageously like we have the hockey, like hockey.
I've I've seen live hockey, but I haven't seen and I've seen
professional hockey, but I haven't seen professional
soccer. To me it's it's it's kind of
like fashionable or baseball. Like, it's more fun if you're

(17:30):
there and you can feel the energy from the the people
around you and just that vibe, yeah.
But. To watch it on TV, it's not as
as. I mean, it's not as bad as
watching golf. Well, you know.
If you're watching. Watching if you're.
Watching the MLS, it's I I see. I see where you're coming from.
I've actually been to one of theSounders games before with
Andrew Rivers actually. He had an extra ticket and we

(17:51):
went and it was actually a pretty good vibe.
Like it was really cool. I I enjoyed it.
I we we had a great time and I was like wow, I've never been to
like an MLS game before. You know everybody's just you
know having a great time and butat the same time it's just like,
I mean the World Cup is like such a big global.
It's so funny. I remember like a few years ago

(18:12):
I was, I was at the office and this guy Dave that I used to
work with like an awesome dude. He was a fanatic and and I was
walking by his day. He's like, he's like Jay-Z.
Can you come here? I got to show you this and it
was like, I don't know, like Germany versus like Sweden.
Like two teams that, like, hate each other.
And he goes, look at the hatred and I'm just watching.
I'm just watching the foosball players like.
And and he goes. Look, look, look at like he's

(18:34):
like, fuck you. And then I was like, fuck you.
And I'm just, and I'm like, I'm like, I'm glad that you see
that. I don't know how you see it, but
it's like, yeah, you know, yeah,but he was like, he, but he
could feel that. He could feel that energy on
that from the players. So I was like, Oh no, is that is
that how it is? And, and and again, man, when it
comes to the World Cup, I mean, there's countries out there.
It's like, you know, I I've heard of like people getting

(18:54):
like kidnapped because goalies getting kidnapped or murdered,
not going to save a country because you know, but but
they're just like, Oh yeah, you know you you let these guys
score like six goals on you and they just fucking take you out
to pasture and just like, yeah, like it's it's serious.
They can't bet on that team. Again, no one is in goal.
So you remove the problem and then now you're free to like bet

(19:15):
on that team. Again, you know, yeah, it's.
And and and you know, governments get embarrassed and
whatnot, but it's just like, yeah, this this thing.
And it's more than like, you know, your your, your Red Sox,
Boston Yankees. It's.
It's a little. Bit more the rivalry.
Is it's it's World Cups? No.
Joke I'm one of the. Top American like, I think like
it used to be like what you go to Boston and like they'd only

(19:37):
have cold water in the showers or they'd send, they'd poison
the food in the hotel of their home.
Yeah, the 94. So yeah, like stomach, you know?
When you send hookers to your hotel room just to pick you guys
up right now, you know all day games.
On a Sunday season arriving on Saturday night, good.
Yeah. Yeah, you know, I brought you
some chicken wings. Six whole chickens.

(19:59):
You're not. Going to need.
Them all. I just brought you 4.
And I brought you some bass, dude, you breast.
Guy. You breast the fat guy.
Yeah, that's, you know, I do love the football though.
It took me a long time to actually get into football, and
once I did, I'm like, OK, I'm. Kind.

(20:22):
Of we're talking American. We're.
Talking American, Yeah. And but I like watching more of
like my team and the other ones I'm not as much.
To me, I'm like, and the only reason why is because I don't
want to feel like it's a beautiful day outside.
We don't have it very often. Why are we sitting in the house
to watch this game? That doesn't.

(20:43):
Matter has nothing, You know, ithas zero impact on our lives
versus getting out and going outside, maybe jump on the boat,
go out, you know, play on the lake or.
See. But that's what other Sundays
are for. I hear you, but also there's
something community oriented about having your friends over,
your loved ones around and cheering together.

(21:04):
Like, whereas you get to cheer, Cheer Must have.
Such a I'm waiting for like an Andrew Huberman on the positive
impact on cheering for something.
You know what? I can.
See that? I can see that.
Oh, but it's. You have an emotional exertion
there. It's you're gonna see.
Your ass on the couch by yourself having a beer.
But I've never felt as good after a hike as I.
Have. Hours of cheering.

(21:27):
I'm just like, walking. I'm like Weezy.
I'm like, over here. Over there.
Yeah. Where's the car?
Where's the. Parking lot, but you.
Put ME3. It catch me 3 hours after a good
game where my team wins. Yeah.
And you don't see the impact of?That I'm not saying your team.
I'm not now, mind you. I'm not saying your team.
I'm saying. All the teams.

(21:48):
When you're sitting, you're. Watching all the teams and it's
like, hold on. This in Oklahoma, yes.
But I'm not saying that you had your your.
But I'm asking you, Jamal, if you had the chance to sit at
home and watch all the games on a sunny day in Seattle where the
weather is like 85, which doesn't happen very often, and

(22:11):
it's gorgeous out. And you know the.
Winter's coming. That's going to be gone soon.
OK. That's a good question.
OK. But it's a.
Beautiful day. Versus.
Going out on that open bow boat skimming across the lake.
And. Water, skin or tubing and maybe
having a few adult beverages. DVR No DVR.

(22:32):
DVR OK. Absolutely.
DVR. Oh.
OK, well, in that case, it depends on what time the Giants
play. I said that's what I said.
I said not your team, OK? All the other teams OK so much.
You've already watched your team, all the other teams if.
That's win or lose, let's. Say no.
No. But either way, I get what you

(22:54):
say. I could, I could do that.
I could go out on the boat or, you know, walk, take a walk or
or do something. Radio where you can listen to
the other. Games.
OK, there's that. I mean, because I usually watch
the games. I usually watch the games on my
phone anyway, so I could go anywhere and just kind of like
have the phone nearby. Checks for us and.
Jumping. In but all that.
Stuff you just described on thathand.

(23:16):
Yeah, I wake up at. So what I do is I wake up at
like 7:00 in the morning on Sunday.
I don't know why, but I guess it's because I'm old.
So that's just what I do now. Like, wow, why the fuck am I
awake after? Like, you know, I have to go to
bed at like 3:00 in the morning on a Saturday.
I'll go like, I'll do grocery shopping or I'll take a walk.
I'll go to the park early in themorning and I come back just in

(23:37):
time to watch like, the first. I watch all the games on Sunday.
OK, but if you had an option to go out, let's say, let's let's
change the stakes a little bit. You're watching, You got done
watching your game. Now some hot Asian invites you
to go out hot. Asian.

(24:02):
Great. Question How tall is she?
Like Hot Asian. Oh yeah, was.
She on another date, Yeah. She may went on another day,
but. Do we think it's working out?
It's. Not working out.
It's not working, he said it. Wasn't working.
Out. OK.
OK. Good question.
What if your team? What if your team was playing?
What if she? What if you're having this
conversation after you just headline the show?
Your team's playing Jimando. Let's let's take it back to that

(24:25):
then we'll I'm here as. Well, current team the.
Current team Oh, yes, so that. Was easy.
Yeah, no, it's hot Asian all dayevery day.
And The funny thing is when I was dating and I was watching
like my my girlfriend at the time would know, oh, hey, before

(24:48):
you, before you watch the Giantsgame, I just had a couple of
questions to ask you about I gotdate you know tomorrow whatever.
And she would know like don't call me during wrestling.
Don't call me during football game.
Like she knew because she knows that that was my time.
You know what I'm saying? And anytime outside of that was
of course her time and we do whatever.
But yeah, if I had to choose between watching the today's
Giants and going out of hot Asian all day every day, like,

(25:11):
what giants are you talking about?
Part 2 of the question If she isinanimate in bed, does she
therefore get called a hot oriental?
If she's inanimate. Nope, that didn't work.
Is that what's called the bomb? Absolutely 3000 miles to bomb

(25:31):
today. And did it very well, though I
tried. I'm trying to bomb the bomb with
class. You know, yeah, it's absolutely
bomb with. I'm sorry, everybody.
Out. There.
But yeah, hot Asian all day, every day.
Yeah, even if she was like, hey,I want to do this.
I know your game is on, but it would mean a lot to me if you

(25:55):
insert boring ass activity. Yeah, hot Asian all day.
I'm like, you know what? There's 17 weeks in the NFLI
could miss one game. I could miss one game.
You know, I mean, I mean if. It's the game to decide whether
they make the playoffs or not. I could miss that, too.
Why? Because I could.
And again, this goes against everything I believe in.

(26:16):
I would be clinching my. I would hope that would never
come to that. But if it was like, hey, I need
you for this. Or you know what?
I'm horny and I need you right now.
I that's. You know what?
What if it was a wild card? She would have to know better
than ask me, yeah. She.

(26:36):
Shows up. She shows up and opens up her
coat and she's wearing just sexylingerie.
I could put the TV on. Here for the first.
Quarter How long is half? Time is like 10 minutes.

(27:01):
You know why not? You could do.
It twice. End of the second.
Quarter, Yeah, just give me a second to.
Recruit, but you know, But you know what's funny?
Because it's just like when I date a girl who's in the
football, I'm like, oh, I would never have to worry about these.

(27:22):
Decisions. You know what I'm saying?
Like, I'm so sexy isn't? It Oh my, you're a fucking rat.
I used to date a girl that was that knew more about football
than she would know all about the trades before I would.
She's like, oh did. You see that No.
We got Kerry Collins and I'm just like who what you know and
I'm just like yeah we got Kerry Collins and I and and she she

(27:42):
would know what college she wentto he would she would know like
his salary. Let me tell you something
nothing gives me a boner in the middle of the day when my when a
girl is telling me about you know.
And not only just my team like oh by the way stuff in our.
Division and all that. It's just like.
How do you find the time to do your nails and look good and do?

(28:04):
All that and then like. Have time for sports like how do
you do it? You can.
Multitask. You can get your nails done
while you're listening, or whileyou're actually like every.
You. Know.
But I'm not. You know, like whenever you go
to, like, whenever you like, go watch people tailgating.
You could tell who's the wives like I dragged to the games
versus the ones that are like goteam.

(28:26):
You know, I'm saying I'm like, oh, you guys have the best sex
ever, right? See, that's why, like when I say
Secret Bowl is my holiday, I usually have like, the women
that I invite are really into football too.
And so. And they bring.
Really good food. So we all throw down some
Seriously good. And the women are way fucking
louder than the Dicks. We're like getting up, yelling

(28:48):
at the TV. You're just you're.
Just a bullshit. We're just banking it for later.
We're just banking. It right.
You know, it's funny because like, you know, like when we
were watching the Harbog againsteach other and each other and we
and and when they had lights went out, we were dying
laughing. We were all just like clowning
on like mom, He turned the lights off on me, you know that
we were. We have a lot of fun with it and

(29:09):
that's what it is, is for me, it's a a lot about the just that
camaraderie and having the friends.
It's not the stress of any of the holidays.
It's literally you're focusing on doing something fun together.
You are cheering. You are like you pick your team
and you have that. Whether your team's in it or
not, it doesn't matter. It's a Super Bowl.

(29:31):
You're trying to pick like it's.Fun too.
Like, especially if you're for me, I find if the New York teams
aren't involved, then I can justwatch the game a bit carefree.
But everything I'm picking like,I'm like, oh, I'm going to talk
trash when they do good and I'm going to eat Chrome when they're
not. And here comes some food and
like, I don't know. It's just a more casual
atmosphere. Yeah.
And then but but but you know, because this world's got a lot

(29:52):
of holes in it in terms of like an experience because like you
wait for the commercials, so youcan like let out some steam and
kind of talk about you because. You can.
Play a game. Then you're supposed to watch
the commercials. Right.
Right, because the. Commercial.
The game gets boring. You talk to her in the game,
It's like, yeah, it's just a weird.
It's just a weird kind. You're either 2.
Dinner toes commercials are not expensive for 30 seconds 32nd
and The thing is. Though too is that.

(30:14):
That's why I'm glad I don't smoke anymore because I don't
have to go outside doing the commercials.
Now I can sit in and actually watch the commercials and like
be able to see what's, you know,because some of them are good
and some of them are hilarious, you know, and those are the ones
that Joe has talked about, you know, and the game itself.
I mean, if the game is a really good game and you can tell that

(30:36):
the refs, you know, like you, you do kind of go, he gets away
where you go. Is this shit rigged?
Is this really like? Is it a little?
Bit odd. That shortly after Hurricane
Katrina that New Orleans won? Is that a little bit just
coincidental? Or after 911, a few years later,
my right? And that's why.

(30:57):
I'm saying this is that you kindof do look at it and you go is
it. Is it possible that some of
these things and I have been? I don't want to say like, as a
Knicks fan, they've lost to the Bucks three times already this
year and they played him Christmas Day and no one on the
Bucks had a good game and they won.
But even in the fourth quarter, the Bucks like, charged back and
like, let off the brake. And I was like, did they fucking

(31:19):
tell the Bucks to lose this gameso New Yorkers could have a
Merry Christmas? I kind of felt like it felt
like. It's just right and and that's
just it though if you wonder if some of it and you know it's I.
Have to this This is not a sports podcast, by the way, No.
It's not. It's not.
It is not because I would not beon it.
But I'm not getting the. Whole.

(31:41):
But I mean there's there's definitely things where you look
at it and you go how much of this is because they've.
I've had people tell me that when the economy really ties
into it well and there's like it's big money, it's huge money,
it's huge money and it has a huge impact on the economy for

(32:04):
wherever it's at. So when you look at all of that
money, there's absolutely absolutely chance for abuse of
that there's but how would they do it?
I don't know. I mean that's I think the big
thing and and people go well no because it's a live game and
it's a game of chance I think and you can sometimes you ever

(32:24):
go but like you said like with the calls you can say that the
refs you go like OK this is bullshit they they've rigged it
so they. Actually, and I don't think
it's, I don't really think it's being rigged.
I think what it is, is because this year, like if you, I mean I
watched a lot of football this year.
The the officiating is God awful.
There's so many missed calls. I mean, like you a defensive A

(32:49):
defensive back could literally hug a wide receiver and a ref
would not even call it past interference.
Well, we've seen a lot of that this year.
Again, Seattle had to make 3 touchdowns to get one.
Oh, for the Cowboys game? Yeah, what?
The fuck? What the fuck How?
Many times did he have to touchdown?
How many back in times? And they still won.

(33:11):
But it was bullshit. The officiating this year, I
mean and that and again I watched that game and I was
like, how do you. I mean some of it.
I was like, OK, I I guess if it's a borderline call, I guess.
But I'm talking about like the past interference calls, a lot
of the holding calls, a lot of even the late hit.
Roughly the password calls. It's like, first of all, he's a

(33:32):
290 LB. Defensive end.
He's about to land on a court. Where the fuck do you expect him
to go? He's going to go into?
Because first of all, that's howwe was trained to do hit the
quarterback. Hurries, hurries, hurries.
But here's the thing. Quarterbacks are #1 the most
important position in the sport and they're paid a lot of money.
So what the league tries to do is open to protect your

(33:55):
quarterback. But look at this year.
How many starting quarterbacks or in the in well in the injury
reserves? And how many backup quarterbacks
are playing like This is the year of the backup quarterbacks?
Yeah, well, and I I. Have to say.
That you're the third string quarterback.
Yeah, in a lot of cases too, yeah.
But I. Feel like if you're a 290 LB.
Defensive lineman and you got a millisecond to determine

(34:18):
quarterback, just let the ball go.
I'm already there. Yeah.
Am I taking this penalty? Like, am I getting my licking?
Yeah, you know what I mean. And I'm not surprised they're
going. I've been fighting all game,
battling this beast over. Here I hit him once.
You know I'm gonna. Try to hurt him.
I'm trying to mess him up, Yeah.And and we'll take a penalty.
That's fine. Like, yeah, let's.
See why they do that And that makes sense.
So. But I do say, you know like
again, kind of going about when you you talk.

(34:41):
Here's the thing about football that really, really irks me.
Let's take a look at the game against Seattle with when it was
against God, who was it that? The deflated balls.
OK, y'all yeah, Tom Brady deflated balls.

(35:04):
OK, first of all I have to call absolute bullshit.
Religion. Do and I'm like and here's why I
say bullshit. Look, you ask any fucking woman
who's ever questioned if Herman was to cheating on her, she can
tell you exactly what deflated balls feel like, Like that she
knows exactly what deflated balls feel like.

(35:24):
So don't tell me that an elite, elite athlete whose.
Life. Depends on holding balls and
throwing balls. Doesn't know what a fucking
depleted ball feels like. I'm not buying it for for what
I'm telling you that my 8 year old grandson would go and like
this ball. Feels a little bit.
Squishy grandma. I mean like, so I'm thinking

(35:45):
that you're Tom Brady's of the fucking world would know what a
football feels like When it's. I mean, I used to count money,
OK? I used to count money.
And I can tell you just by the feel of the money.
Like I never would have had to known if it was fake or not
because I could tell from the feel of it.
I could tell from the smell of it, OK, because I handled it.
Millions of dollars. So.

(36:06):
You're telling me that somebody his entire life has been holding
the football? Are you telling me that he
couldn't tell you exactly how much?
Like when I used to, I worked. The other thing is.
Yeah, but he came from a culturewhere Belichick would cheat,
right? And so that was a cheating
culture. Like they did everything they
could to protect tech, innocent to deny.
You know, they they recorded theopposing team's calls.

(36:28):
They video cameras. They.
Filmed, they filmed the. Signs and the practices of the
other squads and stuff. I mean, they're cheaters.
Boston is full of cheaters. Foxboro is full of.
Cheaters. Red Sox are full of cheaters.
The Bruins are both OK. I made my point.
But The thing is so and that. But that is my point is, is that

(36:49):
but here's the problem that I have with this, that they there
was no significant consequence to them cheating.
They didn't take away the win. Right.
See, that's my problem. Find them a little bit of money.
Who? Cares.
What's a? Billion.
Dollar. Yeah, it's a.
Billion dollar industry. If you tell me, Mary Ann, you're

(37:13):
going to get this huge sticker tape parade, you're going to
have a huge all these athletes. You're going to get.
Massive. $1,000,000 endorsementsand you're going to get that big
ass ring that's going to be worth a boatload of money and
all it's going to do is cost you$100 and you're going to cheat.
I'd be like, OK, where's the downside?
I can afford the 100 bucks, especially.

(37:34):
You want to charge me? OK, let's get you're going to
charge me $1000 all day long. I'm going to pay that $1000.
I don't care because you know, we're going to get that money.
I'm going to get that money fromthe endorsement.
But they don't take away that win.
And that's what was so fucked upis, is that Seattle should have
won that game. They know that Seattle should
have won. And I'm.
I'm using Seattle as an example because I know that they're not

(37:54):
the only ones that's happened to.
But there's other teams that that win should have been
reversed. It should have been taken away
from them. And The thing is.
What are you really teaching if you guys want to use football as
a moral example for our country,for our kids, whatever.
What we're really saying is cheaters really do win.

(38:14):
Guys. Remember when we were growing up
and we say here cheaters never win cheaters.
Bullshit. Look at the Patriots.
But if you're not. Cheating.
You're not trying so. John John Mann's got a great
quote when he was coach of the Raiders.
LA Raiders and the Raiders like have been the most penalized
team for years in a row. Decades in a row.
And they said, hey, John, isn't your team, you know, don't they?
They, they have the most penalties.

(38:36):
The most. You know, they're they're foul.
Like when they play, they just play dirty.
Yeah. And he goes, yeah, what do you
want to do about it? Exactly.
And they're and they're well, nothing, God damn it.
Like, you know. Is that.
And that's just because he's like, yeah, right.
They don't do anything about it.There's no real consequences to
it. And that's what I'm saying.
So. The masses are trying to,

(38:56):
they're trying to control. The government is trying to
control the masses and you know,like the, the, the literally the
1%, 3% control the rest of us by, you know, treat us, never
win and give us all this bullshit.
You know what I started realizing?
Yeah, they do. And we're naive if we're
thinking that they don't. But you have to weigh those

(39:18):
risks. What is it?
What are you really, you know, trying to win and what's the
value of it? But the main thing is, is are
you willing to, you know, is it something that you can look
yourself in the eye the next? Day but I'll say this like I
think I think there's something to sports into the teams and
tribalism that's like the culture of your city and the
culture of your of your sports team need to match and you need

(39:42):
to draft players that kind of fit.
Like Pittsburgh needs hard hat guys.
The Ben Roethlisbergers you knowDallas needs the big Cowboys the
Troy Aikmans and 20 Romans right.
Metropolitan and and the Giants are you need the Eli May, you
know. But I think and LA is
interesting because I want a hand you get like, you know, you
get like the Raiders, right? Or they're MOA Oakland.
I can say like kind of rough routine.

(40:03):
But you get like the San Francisco, which is like a very,
you know, kind of like, you know, modern, woke kind of
place. And then he's like Brigham
Young, OK, Then he's like a Steve Young and then he's like a
Jerry Rice. Like we need these wholesome
guys. So they're not going to be,
they're going to be bottom of the league in penalties and then
personal values and stuff like that.
So you need your team to embody like the spirit of your city and

(40:26):
that's how that's how you get your fans and you know that's
how it works, you know? Yeah, yeah.
And as far as the Oakland Raiders, and I know, I know some
Oakland, they're nothing. Well, here's the here's the
thing about it. I've always said about Oakland
Raiders, their fans are bone thugs.
They are absolute bone thugs. And you're right, They are.
I mean, sorry, any Oakland Raiders fans.

(40:46):
It's. A compliment but.
I'm. Not I.
Know we are. I've seen you guys dressed at
the bus station at 90° where you're silver and black.
It's fucking hot. Who's doing this?
Yes. Why They do.
They're very rabid. Fans they have.
The very devout fan base. But The thing is that it is no.

(41:08):
It's no secret that when the Raiders moved into Las Vegas, my
God, the cry skyrocketed. I mean, it absolutely went up to
the point where, you know, there's people, I know people
who live there and they're like,I don't go anywhere near
downtown anymore. It's scary as fuck and it's so
dangerous. It is it really.
Is. Well, it's.

(41:29):
Just a. Lot, but it's.
It's got even. I mean like in the past when you
were in Vegas, you didn't have to worry about it so much
because like the you. Knew the big.
Crime bosses. The Mafia.
Make sure that. Shit was safe for the people.
Like they knew that you you haveto take care of the visitors to
the city because that's where they're making that's very

(41:49):
lucrative, the gambling. And so you had to make sure that
like when gang bangers tried to move in, the mafia is like,
look, little kids you guys are, are little, you little boys are
playing little gangs with. Adult men, look you, you fucking
Mulleons, look you. You get the fuck out of here.

(42:16):
I mean exactly like and again like as you as you talk about
how in Vegas you have to do benefit.
Yeah, sure. So Vegas has this museum, Museum
of the Mob. Oh yeah.
And the other day I went online,I was telling my coworkers
about, I was like, you know, Vegas is actually a cool town,
don't get me wrong. And I'm like the one thing that.
Really. Sometimes, like you guys, they
have. You should visit this man.

(42:37):
It's like right there in downtown like not too far from
Fremont Street where all F stuffis at Museum of the Mob and it's
like I went online and they havelike every like a lot of the the
the mafiosos from like like Whitey Bulger Boston you know
Winter Hill Gang back in the dayand like all these.

(42:57):
And it's just like I've never been inside.
I think the next time I go to big because I'm going to go in
there, but I'm just like I always thought that was an
interesting. Landmark.
To have a mob museum ran by the city ran by the mob, Well, it.
Is the city perfect? I mean it seriously is and like
right now one of the biggest is I don't know if you guys see the
news on this where Lake Mead because of the the drought and

(43:21):
stuff all the time that the water level keeps drum they keep
finding their. Bodies.
They're finding more bodies and stuff and that's it is they
would put them in barrels and back in the 70s that's where
they took them. And I'm thinking all those
summers that I played on Lake. Mead.
You know not. Knowing.
That there's a body underneath, you know, like somebody just,

(43:42):
they crossed the wrong, you know, crime, But yeah.
I keep catching fish in Lake Mead.
I wonder why they're. Eating like they're going crazy
right here. It's almost like there's a food
source. Yeah, right.
Like you just know to come to this.
Hang in line. You know.
Speaking of sports in Vegas, I read back then that Vegas is

(44:06):
going to get a professional. Baseball team.
The Oakland Raiders, the OaklandAthletics are moving to Vegas.
Wow. Really.
They're not. They're not.
The city's not building a new stadium for them.
So what they decided to do is they decide to move to Vegas,
which I think is kind of interesting because I mean again

(44:28):
Vegas sports, they go hand in hand and they don't have a
baseball team there. So you know there you go.
So I don't know where they're going to put it, but I think in
2020, I believe it's 2025 they are planning on moving into
their so-called new state of hasn't been built yet.
I think it's 2025. A baseball team.

(44:48):
In Vegas? Yep.
That, you know, I understand. Football.
Because. Played in the cooler months.
Yeah, but baseball? My God.
It gets July and August. There's.
Times that I've been in Vegas where it's so fucking hot you
can't even breathe, you can't even take a breath in because it
burns your lungs and that's justsitting there.
The. Last time I was there, I saw

(45:09):
people drop on the street like they would just be walking and
then drop, collapse of dehydration because when they
perspire, it's so humid. They don't they don't sweat.
It just vanished right away. So they couldn't tell they were
dehydrated and they would just collapse.
And I saw numerous. People had this happen to them,
especially in Vegas. Yeah, that's what I'm talking
about. When you're talking about the

(45:30):
drinking and you're already dehydrated starting out and then
you don't drink anything and then you add that heat on top of
it. It's the players you know,
right? And so I'm trying to figure
like. I mean, it's an.
Indoor. Or here's the thing, temperature
control. The Raiders, they play in a
Dome. They paint a covered arena.
It's Dome, but it's like, it's like a hockey puck.

(45:50):
You know, it looks exactly like a hockey puck.
But I think they're going. To put a Dome, they would have
to. Do it because I mean, I mean
think about it like March, April, May, June, July, the hot
months, you know, I think they would just put a Dome over it
because. June, July is is unbearable.
I mean unbearable. And I'm surprised that the
Raiders they their their stadiumis black.
It's a black hole. I'm like wow.

(46:11):
What the. I mean, that's the weird color
with all that heat absorbed in the I'm like that that fucking
arena should melt. Maybe that's about competitive
advantage, you know what I mean?Like, it's like in Denver
because Denver is like a Mile High and they are so thin.
If you have a bunch of athletes who are running, you install
like a a running offense. Yeah, other teams come in your
your town and they can't competewith you.

(46:32):
So maybe in in Vegas what they're trying to do is be like,
all right, you think you're wellconditioned, but we're going to
fucking, you know, we're going to bring all the heat and we're
going to be better conditioned. We're not going to get the media
some guys, but we're going to befast and lean and angry and like
now you now you got to just figure out your culture there,
you know? Let's find out.
You say that the thing about Denver, because I was watching a
Denver game when AI was playing there and he was, I mean, you

(46:54):
know, AI is very fast and twitchy.
He got winded when he was playing in Denver and I'm like
and and he was sitting on a bench after and he was just like
you know kind of like I was likeyeah, that that that thin air.
You know it's it's and he's tinylike he's a tiny basketball
player. But it was just like, yeah, he's
he's winded and I and. I and I didn't.

(47:15):
Realize how thin the air was until when I landed there.
Whenever I'm like leaving from here, I go to Denver and I'll, I
get winded coming off the plane,right?
You know what I'm saying? I'll just like the step is like
like, you know. It's.
Called Mile High Stadium for a reason, yeah.
And everything else at. Sea level pretty much.
And then you got Mile High Stadium, so like.

(47:35):
Yeah, but I. Want to circle back to the
moving of the of the stadiums, right?
Like, like it's, I get it. Right, like you're you're
leaving Oakland, you go to Vegas, you got infrastructure,
you got the owners, you got all that other shit.
But like, I don't know. I'd rather see new franchises
being built up. Oh, then rather than.
Yeah, like the launch of the franchise is exciting, whether
it's the Anaheim docks or the Orlando man.

(47:57):
Whatever it is, the new squad, anew team comes out.
It's like, oh, there's just likea fresh feel.
It's like a new house. Versus.
Like, oh, there's another house that, like, it was abandoned.
It was abandoned. It was abandoned.
You. Know.
Yeah. And I think, I think that a new

(48:19):
team would be very exciting. And I know, like for Washington,
we had the Krakens. And when the Krakens came in,
that did generate a lot, a lot of excitement.
The problem with the Krakens is that it's it's almost too
expensive to go to a game. I mean, for me, Oh my God,
they're over $200 a ticket. Ticket.

(48:40):
Yeah. Oh, shit, yeah.
So you know, you can't. I mean, my God, if you tried to
take an entire family to go see a Kraken game, that's just not
happening. But I think a lot of it, I don't
know how much of that is becauseof the actual tickets are that
expensive versus how, yeah, the scalpers come in, they buy all

(49:00):
the fucking tickets and then they're certified resell
tickets. That too, but also Amazon is
here. Google is here.
Microsoft. Nintendo is here.
These people that make so much money, those are the people that
could afford to go to box seats at Mariners games, box seats at,

(49:20):
you know, the to watch the Seahawks and to come.
So they're they're attracting the elite people that can afford
to do these things now. And.
I think that's just what it is. You know I've been now, I've
been to, I've been to a Storm finals game.
When they when they made it to the finals few years back,

(49:42):
tickets were so cheap that therewas, I could have walked in and
it would have just been like, yeah dude, just go ahead.
You know, like what? They had.
I know some of the Seahawks werein in were like in attendance
you know what I'm saying And it was just like wow.
And it was a great experience like my my friends that took me
we watched two games and it didn't cost us anything.

(50:04):
I mean it really didn't cost us much.
Like this is supposed to be a final like dude how much does it
cost. It's like he showed me the price
of the ticket. I was just like Jesus Christ
that and and we wonder why the women in the love the NBA don't
get make so loose. You know what I'm saying?
There's a oh compare this this her salary to Steph Curry
salary. I'm like, yes, Steph Curry could

(50:25):
pack a fucking arena away home he he could pack an arena.
Sue Bird. I like Sue Bird.
I like you know, she's a very talented player.
She's not going to do that unfortunately.
You know what I'm saying? But and but it's not their fault
though. It's just you get paid based on
the popularity of your sport. The.
Same thing. Same thing with comedy too.

(50:47):
Like you hear about who is it Not, not Chelsea Handler, but
what's that blonde? Amy Schumer, Yeah.
Amy Schumer, thank you. Amy Schumer was was pissed off
that her she didn't make as muchfor her Netflix specialist.
Like what, Dave Chappelle. And we're like, whoa, whoa,
whoa. OK, sweetheart, you know, like
in in. Dave's defense.

(51:10):
Yeah, and. Now it's just it though.
It's just that. That's like when average white
guy is like, why don't I get paid what Michael Jordan got
paid. For, yeah, that's a good
question. Right.
Exactly. So you do your compensation is

(51:31):
based on your job because your remarkability because you're
going to make the the company that you're working more a lot
more money, you know and so or the venue that you appear to you
know or you know whatever that media is.
And so I get that. I understand that the women
don't make as much, but I do think that.
If we, if we. Let's be honest guys.

(51:52):
We want to talk about the women in sports that don't make the
money that they should make. Let's be honest, the the women
that should be getting paid thatdon't are the cheerleaders, NFL
cheerleaders, they do not get paid.
It's it's like dirt what they get.
Some of it is also OK, yes, yes.And some of it is also the

(52:13):
replaceability, like you don't market them as individuals, you
market them as like acrobatic. Dance.
Right, right. They can be replaced really
easily, right. So like, you're not going, oh,
Donna here or Nicole there, You're just going the squad,
right? And so if other women are
willing to take those spots, that's why that's how you bring.
However, however you still have triumphs.

(52:34):
You still have to be able to qualify.
You still have requirements. Keep your right down on here.
Exactly you have. To blow me every once in a
while. You have to be very like at this
sorry this church like. Trying to move it without.
Without squeaking. But you have to have all these
different requirements. But not only that.
Let's take a look at this. Let's take a look at a billion

(52:55):
dollar a year industry. I mean billions of dollars of an
industry and you can't pay thesewomen like $1000.
Or. Let me ask you this, Mary Ann.
Would you go to a job and not get paid to do it?
That's that's that's I mean not for nothing if.

(53:18):
Because. Somehow they're able to live.
Hold on, this this is like. For comics, going to a mic where
everybody's fighting and they pay you only $25 for a
headliner, you know, because there's so many people willing
to do it and we wonder why the fuck, it's the same thing, you
know, we. Don't band together.
No, we. Don't.
Communities are trying to unionize a couple times over the

(53:39):
years and like it hasn't. Well, here's why.
Because as soon as you turn downa job for $100, like I'm not
going to work as a fucking headliner for $100.
There's twenty more fucking open.
My relative it. Yeah, you know that that dilute
the pool, but. They don't.
Have any fucking standards for that either?
I mean, you know, versus. I don't.
Think unionizing the comedy scenes.

(54:01):
Oh my God, no it would not. No, it'll never work and and as
many as many times as I hear that.
You know what we should do? We should.
Unionize. Anyone know who says that?
Shitty comics that can't get gigs?
Those because it's like, I don'tneed to.
I know how to get gigs. You know what I'm saying?
Oh my God. Like I'm telling you right now,
after having worked directly with a unionized company, I'm

(54:21):
like, they're in a fucking way. Yeah, there is no fucking way.
Because again. They're the ones that are
bitching about. Oh, we should unionize.
No. Oh, we don't.
We don't get this. I don't get enough.
No. Because first of all, it's
usually the comics that don't put in the work and that are

(54:41):
not, first of all, that are not good.
So they just think that, Oh well, first of all, that's the
laziest kind of thinking and that I've ever heard as far as
comedy go. Like maybe if you focus on your
craft and doing good and being good and putting yourself out
there, maybe you'll be noticed. But as far as, like what?
Punching in a clock and being like, you know, like, no, fuck
all that. No, do your job.
We don't need a union. You just need, you just need to

(55:03):
make sure that you and the scenethat you're in, you're doing
everything you can to make it look good.
That's it. No, but.
I think it's so gross because ifyou like, I'm going to, I'm
going to talk about like the clubs in New York, which I
assume are kind of representative of of clubs
everywhere, right? That's like that's so many, so
many comics have a goal of like working at clubs in New York, a
lot of clubs. If you're doing a spot, if

(55:24):
you're a pretty good comic and you're working regularly, you
might get 2025, maybe $50.00 fora set, right?
So you can't support yourself even if you do 234 clubs a
night. So you scratch down 100 and 100
and something dollars a night, five nights a week, you're
barely scraping. The other barely, barely,
barely. So they're.
Making like $1000 a week. Yeah, so the clubs aren't they

(55:45):
May, and that's if you're working all the time.
So what they're doing is they'repaying you for your 20 minute
set or something like that. They're not paying you for the
1015 years you just put in to get this damn good, right?
You didn't get paid for all thatshit.
Now you're supposed to get paid,but you're not.
So you got to do it all on your own anyway.
You got to go out, you got to gobook your own rooms, you got to
go get your corporation like that.
So, like, I think the role of the comedy club, now, there is a

(56:08):
space for it, of course, becausepeople want to say I want a
standard of comedy that I know is going to be professional.
I'm going to pay my $20 and my 2drinks.
I'm going to go get my C right? That's a Friday, Saturday night.
So, like, there's always that. Right?
So. So you know where to go.
Right? Right.
And there's a commodity. Right?
But. But other than that, like, I
think comedians are kind of figuring out, especially with
social and everything. That's.
Figuring out. I mean, social is a whole other

(56:28):
world about. Stupid money.
Based on clicks and. Right.
Ads and algorithms and stuff like that.
But like, let's just say you just want to do the craft.
Let's just say you just want to performing it on stage and not
do much social like, you know, you know, I think comics are
like not as beholden to the comedy clubs they used to be.
It's a lot easier. To do.
Book values. And The thing is, so, and I've
said this several times and and I stand on this, is that a lot

(56:51):
of clubs act like because they have a stage that comics should
feel thankful and lucky to be able to to grace their stage.
And I'm thinking you have a stage and a microphone.
But you know what? Who cares?
Because if you don't have comics, if you don't have comics

(57:13):
to come and good comics, you're not going to keep your club.
Who the fuck cares, you know? And that's just said though.
It's just that the power dynamics has shifted to where
the clubs feel like they're moreimportant and the club bookers,
bookers feel like they're more important than the actual comics
themselves. And so then it really becomes
one of these games as just like not what you know but who you

(57:39):
know and who you're in with and and you know if you pick the
wrong group of people to come upwith, well, sucks to be you kid
but you're not going to get fucked and versus people who are
not that good. I mean, I've seen some comics
that we're getting stage time atclubs on the weekends, and I'm
even as guest sets, I'm like. You have no.
Fucking business being on the stage, yet you have no business

(58:01):
being here on a weekend versus somebody who's been grinding for
10/12/14 twenty years and you'renot even giving them an
opportunity because they didn't come do your open minds and they
didn't, you know, like support your club, yeah.
There's a lot of that. I I noticed that, like whenever
I was leaving Seattle and movingaway from New York, I I caught,

(58:21):
I caught a little bit of that like oh, you know, so and so is
not supporting my room. So I won't book them and I'm
just like, well, OK. But at the same time, it's like
you don't have to. There's a reason why they don't
support your room. They don't believe in your room.
Well, you know what I'm saying. Supporting the room though, is
that there I remember, and this is something that I.
Want you. Two way.
Two way. Support, and they're not.

(58:43):
Through that, they're saying they're not you.
Support us at the risk that we do Jack shit for you the rest of
your time here, like. But also the.
Clubs get off on that. Whenever, Yeah.
But whenever I hear, oh, they don't support my room.
It's like, no, no, no, they usedto support your room.
You didn't give them a chance to, you know, showcase
themselves and they just and they just stop showing up that

(59:03):
that's what that ends up being and.
Then it becomes like more of an ego thing than anything else.
Come kiss the rings, kiss the rings.
Come. I'm never going to book you, but
I might if you come, kiss the rings.
And then I'm going to keep stringing on.
I have too much other things to do right and that's other shows
to go to. You know, it gets to the point.
There respect for myself, Yeah. Like, why do they have to try to

(59:24):
pry your respect from you, You know, in order to make
themselves feel good? Like that's the toxic nature of
the place, Exactly. How about you do good things and
I do good things and we work together?
Right. And a lot of it is is not even
necessarily the club owners, butthe people who are booking it
And if they're leaving it into their hands and not professional
comedians or people who don't know anything about the
business, you start seeing some shitty comedy coming out.

(59:47):
Even on a shitty open mic where they book 12 fucking guys in a
row, it's a sausage fashion. You're like, is there any
fucking women here at all? And after the 15th, dude, you're
like, there's no fucking women. I know I'm on the lineup.
I'm a woman. And then you're like.
But isn't it that there aren't women sign up for the money?
Then there was like 8 women in arow and you kind of go, wow,

(01:00:07):
that was such a weird way of doing it.
You know, like why would? You, but also what's up about
that is just like nothing to do these businesses?
Yeah. By then I mean it's like, yeah,
there was like a bunch of dudes.What was like 8 dudes in a row,
then four chicks in a row, then like a handful of dudes in it.
And it was like by the time you even get to like the 10th comic,

(01:00:28):
the finances already tired. Yeah, and like that one girl,
that one girl, Jackie, that wentup.
I mean, like not for nothing. As tired as I was.
She picked up my spirits. She was fucking hilarious.
Yeah, I was like holy shit. OK now now you got my attention
for like the next 4 comics. You know what I mean?
Like, but she was very good fromthe from from the jump.
She was good from the start, youknow, She told us about herself.

(01:00:51):
I was like, I mean, I was like, damn, she's a funny comedy with
comic with three children and and but at the same time, while
that's in the back of my mind and she's telling these jokes,
I'm like, oh, OK no wonder she is the accolades that she's been
receiving. She's fucking good, Yeah.
But at the same time she just went up with a went up against,
not against, but went up after abunch of dudes And not only that
was able to shit on them, which I thought was great because I

(01:01:13):
was like, you're saying exactly what I was thinking And she was
just shitting on all these dudesand I was just like, yeah, good
for you, you know? And it wasn't.
It wasn't. Really shitting on all the
dudes. It was shitting on the way it
was structured, the lineup was structured and it just happened
to be a bunch of fucking dudes. And that's that's ridiculous,
though, because it's hard enoughto get a bunch of women in a

(01:01:35):
comedy club anyways. You know?
It's not just hard to get the female comics in there, but it's
also hard to get the female audience.
Because a lot of times if you have a bunch of women sitting
through a bunch of dudes, like, OK, I'm sitting here in a room
full of a bunch of fucking dudes, and then you got this
goddamn sausage on stage, that is not relatable to me in any

(01:01:55):
way, shape or form. Exactly.
You're like, so when they see a woman representing it does make
a difference because representation doesn't matter.
And and I'm I'm telling you as afemale who's been funny for a
lot of years, I mean, not just comedy but I've been funny.
I couldn't pay for my fucking house if I could, if I had the

(01:02:18):
money. A dollar for every time somebody
said you're. Really funny.
For a woman, I could pay for my fucking.
House coming up next a great female comic.
Yes. I love this female comic comic.
As a vagina? Exactly.
And you know, and I'm. Going to tell you.
That's your credit. Yeah, exactly.

(01:02:38):
She's performed in front of other females.
Right. In fact.
And she's been other female approved.
But here's the thing too. Is that when men shit this?
The bed on stage that comic was not funny, But when a woman
shits the bed on stage, women aren't funny that you like.
And it started to change a bit. And it's trying to change a.
Bit it's starting to change a bit because the more you see

(01:03:01):
more women up there, the more diversity that you're going to
start seeing and that's changing.
The scene is changing around here, but not necessarily for
the better. Like when I did start out here,
I started at my club is no longer here, my home club is no
longer here and it makes me really sad because I.
Knew. After all the years that I've
been grinding, at any point in time that I wanted to go in
there and get stage time on a weekend, I could, I knew that I

(01:03:24):
could go in there and say, hey, I had some new stuff that I've
already worked out. But you know, I've got some
stuff that you know, I want. I need some stage time.
Hey, I have some, I have some professional shows coming up and
I need to just get some practicein.
Not saying I'm trying new material, but I have tried true
material that I need to take on stage to be able to keep the

(01:03:45):
cobwebs off. And they'd be like, yeah, sure,
come on up. Or if you if they had a full
line up, you could like, oh, come on and sit in the back, you
know you can't we can't get you up.
But hey, you know we've got some.
So here from New York, you know we got Jonathan Zingle here from
New York and you know he's really funny.
Can't you come on in and and watch so that we could learn
like as newer comics, we could learn by watching the the rogue

(01:04:08):
comics, the professional comics coming into town when we were
trying to learn how to to get tothat point where we were rogue
comics. We had that there was that
symbiotic relationship that absolutely existed between the
clubs and the comics that you came in for free.
You learned all the comics that you dealt with, like the
Jonathan Justin Hayes that have been doing it for longer.

(01:04:30):
You were more than willing to come with you and train.
You and all the other cops have been doing it for a long time.
We help you, give you some, somelike work on some bits with you.
Now that's all gone. It's all about the money for the
clubs. And if you want to come into my
club, you got to pay me. No, you got to pay to come into
the club. No, we'll give you.
Maybe we'll give you a discount or most of the time.

(01:04:52):
Still Bringers, right? You're what?
They still prey on new comics bydoing Bringer shows.
Yes, and I get it. They have a business.
They got to run the business. They got to figure out how to
how to do marketing. Well, right.
Exactly. Yeah, for new comics, just
understand how Bringer Show works, right, right.
And and and sign up for it. If if you want that stage time,
you know, you got to figure. Everyone's got their own.
But that's for newer comics, OK?But when you have somebody who

(01:05:15):
sees them like we are, it shouldn't be a bringer show.
It shouldn't be like here's whatpissed.
Me off? Well, there are times.
Yeah, sorry. Got it.
Here's what pissed me off. We have two professional comics
in from New York and that club courtesy is not there anymore
where you could go into a comedyclub and say, hey it's you guys

(01:05:36):
are having an open mic. I know that you guys sign up,
but we got some comics here fromout of town and any of the clubs
when I was coming up, they wouldbump you.
Hey Marianne, I'm sorry, you're a new comic.
You're bumped because we've got some some pros in from out of
state and they're got your slot.Yeah, and we can do a feedback
mic. We can, You can talk to them

(01:05:57):
after the show. They can give you some feedback.
If you know and we guarantee you, we, you know, we're sorry,
but we guarantee that you will absolutely go out whatever slot
you want next week. That's what the Copy Underground
used to do as a matter of fact. And that's I love their open mic
model. But yeah there would there would
be a long line of comics like there could be like 40 comics in

(01:06:18):
the line. You write your name down on the
list and if you were from out oftown you put they put a star by
your name. We always say hey, but be sure
that when you talk to the personthat is just say, oh by the way,
I'm from you know I'm from like Nebraska or whatever they put
you. And those guys got priority
because no matter what they wentup and and there will be 25

(01:06:40):
comics. The rest of them will be on a
bump list for next week. If you even make that list.
They they got bumped till next week.
But those comics from where? Anywhere in the country outside
of Seattle, Well outside the Pacific Northwest for that
matter. They got priority because it's
like hey number one, you first of all you took the time to come
out to our comedy club and visit.
We get to see you. We get to hang out with you.

(01:07:02):
We get to network with you. Yeah.
So. And and it was a very different
vibe. I remember when they would do
the stand up comedy competition I met Peach Lawson at an open
Peach Lawson came to an open micand I was like, hey, you're
Peach Lawson because I've seen him on TV before.
I'm like and he's on this on thevery nice guy.
I got to talk with him very, very friendly guy.
So it's like you get to meet a lot of these cats that come out

(01:07:24):
because they want to practice before they you know, do
competition. So.
That's also how they do things like.
So back in the day, before we have all the social media,
that's how you auditioned for a room.
You didn't send a tape because nobody's so much tape.
But if you were in in a local area, you'd say, hey you know,
can I get 5 minutes, Can I get aguest spot on your show so that

(01:07:46):
you could get booked for a future show with them and you
know, and that's how you would do things.
But they don't, they don't have that anymore that that model has
changed. And then when you see how it's
turned into like really click finish and stuff So that only
the certain groups like I saw that at the one club and I'm not
going to say the club, but they had the the comics in the back

(01:08:09):
of the room where they would sitat this special table, you know,
like the the IT crowd at the time, right, Yeah.
So it definitely has that cool table.
I don't even sit by the cool table because I know better.
And I was is that where it? Was inside.
Well, I think. I think the origin of the
expression, like the table is the comic sign.
And the rumor has it that when the comic, so the seller's
downstairs, you go upstairs is the Olive Olive Tree Cafe,

(01:08:31):
right? And Patrice O'Neal used to sit
there with Colin Quinn and all these guys at Charlotte's mall,
and he would just be so loud that it would disrupt.
So they asked him to stand outside and then he'd get louder
because he's physically just kicked out.
So, like, all right, how about we give you a table in the back?
That can be your spot. Hopefully the voice doesn't
carry that loud. So it became like that's where
the best of the best comics would hang out a table in the
back. So I'm I'm assuming.

(01:08:53):
You. Know.
Yeah. That's exactly where it came
from because there was certain people and I, you know that
started that when that clips started that they would go back
there and I was like OK, that's just stupid.
It's ridiculous. And so you know I would go sit
somewhere else. I would I would purposely never.
And if I wanted to go piss him off, I'd get there 1st and go

(01:09:13):
sit there and then watch him just and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry
was this a sign seating. No.
I'm just sitting here. That's OK You want to sit with?
Me. This is my table.
Well it's funny when I was flying out because before coming
out here, as you know, I I spenta couple of days in Portland.
I said OK let me let me hit up some of the producers out there,

(01:09:34):
some of the clubs out there. Most of the clubs were frankly
closed at the start of the week because it was between Christmas
and New Year's. So I kind of understand that.
And so I found a couple of producers and I said, hey, I'm
from New York. I'm I'm.
I'm touring with them all. You know where he's going to
headline the show I'm opening for him, featuring for him and
can I just get a little guest spot at your bar show?
I'm. From New York.
I'm traveling out here, right? And And they're like, well, can

(01:09:56):
you send us a tape? And I was like, well, I also
sent you like some of the festivals I've done, some of my
credits, some of the work I've put in.
OK, here's a tape. This is a tape that's gotten me
work at festivals, right? So I'm like, OK, So I sent it to
him and he goes, well, you know,our lineup is full, but
definitely reach back out next time you're in town.
I was like, you want me to reachback out.

(01:10:17):
Next time I'm 3000 miles away totry to get on your bar show and
your lineup is full at a bar show.
Like. The nice thing about bar shows
is they're not tightly run. No, they start late.
They end late. You don't have enough.
It's like the club. You got an 8:00 and 9:00.
You're like. Yeah, right.
You know, and so. So you have to end to clean the
room to go get ready for the next show.
So like that at a bar show, you can go until 10:15 or you can go
until 10:30. Yeah, but it's like you're just

(01:10:38):
staying in my chain. Yeah.
And part of my offer to him too.In the first entry, I was like,
listen, I pretty so much should New York.
If you ever come out, let me know, I'll help you.
So even the common courtesy. It's like.
I'm I'm giving you a spot blind just on courtesy.
How bad could it be? I assume it's.
OK, yeah, whatever it is. You know I can always light you
if you suck, but I'm not. But I'm not that.

(01:10:59):
Guy you know. But because if you if somebody
who if you run a room, you know that I any good comic can
recover after three to 5 minutesof a bad comic in front of them,
right? Or if you got a good host, your
host can reset the tone for the room.
Like if, and that's one thing that you know, being a host is
really important, because like if you have somebody who has
just totally shipped the bed andpisses off the crowd and I can

(01:11:22):
think of some comics, you know what I was thinking about?
Like who would piss off the audience every time?
And then you'd have to reset thethe tone before you, because
otherwise the next comics got todig themselves.
Out of the hole, so. I know who you're thinking.
Initial. JJ.
Yeah, that's just crazy. I mean, I mean, most of the work

(01:11:44):
that comedians get comes from other comics, right?
And if you're not a cool comic, or if you're not somebody that
gets along with people or understands reciprocity or just
politeness or whatever you want to call it, you know, courtesy.
I don't know how you're going todo, you know.
But if you just want a small world with like your three or
four friends and you just do your thing and OK, by all means,
you know, I think comedy is supposed to make your world

(01:12:05):
bigger. You.
Know. And I think in some ways, you
know, for me it's it's differentbecause there's not a lot of
like women are are totally different.
We are so much different as comics than guys, you know like
we are very competitive and women are so subtle.
Oh, we have a subtlety to our like our vibe and our attacks on

(01:12:28):
each other that guys don't get it like men and you just you
just. Don't I know what you're?
Saying, Oh yeah, I really deserved it.
Like when we'll say something like nice haircut and yeah,
yeah, and or or you know, there's just so many different,
like subtle Dicks that we do on each other that if you ask a man

(01:12:51):
next to you, like, did you show with a bitch?
You said to me. Why do you do that?
Why do you do? That to each other.
That's. And that's a good thing is, is
that, you know, it's when you'reyounger and it's that
competitiveness you're trying tolike as women we're trying to
stand out. And I think that, you know, I
have AI do have a definite philosophy that at the end of

(01:13:12):
the day, almost everything that we do is based on our desire for
sexual interaction. So not just sex, but, you know,
like procreation We really do because we're trying to set
ourselves aside. We're trying to put ourselves as
better than, you know, like maybe if you kick that person
down a notch, you would be better.
Yeah. That you become more desirable

(01:13:35):
type thing. But you don't do it when you're
talking to men, you do it amongst each.
Other. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Because we're trying to like
basically it's psyching out youropponent, right.
Yeah. So you're psyching out your
opponent and you know and and I think that it's something that
the reason and and I know it's not necessarily a popular

(01:13:55):
opinion, but I truly believe that the reason why women have a
glass ceiling is because of other women.
It's not because of men. It is literally better women.
And I'm telling you this as somebody who's been working for
the last 44 years of my life, that it's other women will keep
you down. And I've seen very blatant times
in my life where I could have been elevated a lot more if that

(01:14:16):
woman had tried to help elevate me instead of stuffing me down.
And that's not been the case. And so I think it is not.
And then I've also had situations where I've tried to
help younger women. I'm like, OK, I'm, I'm at that
point where now I can mentor, I can coach and I can help level
somebody up. So I'm in that position that I
can do that. Therefore, I feel that you know

(01:14:39):
that if I see somebody who's willing to put in the time and
the grind to do it, I'm willing to to help bring let them level
up. And I've gotten stabbed in the
back and I'm like, well, fuck you, you little bitch.
That's why we say these clothes ain't loyal.
This is true. That's what he's.
Pressing also. You know, I agree.

(01:15:01):
I agree. You know, I'm like, I'm like
pearls to swine. I ain't going to do it no more.
I'm not going to give these bitches my time 'cause I don't.
Have a whole lot left. There's a lot less time in front
of me than what's behind me. I know that for a fact.
I mean, I know how many there, how many days are in front of
me, but I know it's a shit. Ton lesson What's behind me?

(01:15:21):
So I don't have the time to fucking waste, you know, if you
are not, I'm not willing to, youknow, if I drop that kernel of
like that, just negative knowledge or something that the
value took to me, which is my time.
Yeah. Clearly it's more valuable to me
than anything else. And if you want to shit on.
It I'm like. Well, screw you too.
I'll take my nugget. Go home.

(01:15:41):
That's. That's the best come up and said
you can do is just deprive otherpeople of.
Of. What you offer?
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Exactly. But they choose.
They chose that. Yeah, and I'm.
Like this younger generation, like the the Gen.
Z generation. It's a real mind fuck.
It's a real landmine of fuckery.Yeah, it's like you don't value.
Sometimes I feel like you don't value self respect.

(01:16:03):
You know. And then you don't value
culture. You don't value experience.
You know what I'm like? And I'm not a traditionalist per
SE, but like, I understand that someone older than me, more
successful than me, wants to share something with me.
I shut my fucking mouth and I listen.
It might be relevant. It probably is.
It's probably hyper relevant because they the benefit of like
having that experience. You can see something in size of
a situation or size of a person pretty quickly.

(01:16:24):
Doesn't mean you know everythingabout them.
Don't be so defensive to think that.
But it just means what they're going to share with me might be
actually really helpful. So let me just give it a
thought. Let me take a beat and give it
if I'm not always right about everything.
I don't fucking know everything all the time.
So like the whole Gen. Z attitude, like not everybody,
but like a lot of them. I think you're categorizing it.
You go. All right, guys, Figure it out
on your own, dude. Do it your own damn way, you

(01:16:45):
know you. Know it's.
Interesting. I hear, I've heard a lot of
people say that like this younger generation doesn't want
to work. And I said I used to say that
too. I used to think that.
I used to truly think that. And now I said I I've come to

(01:17:08):
the point where I don't necessarily agree with that.
I don't think. That the younger generation
doesn't want to work, but they don't want to work the way we
have. They don't want to work the way
our grandparents and our parentshave worked.
They've seen how these people have worked their lives away.
And then at the end of the day they go to retire and they like,

(01:17:29):
they're broke and they die, you know, and they're like, I don't
want to live that. Way I don't, Yeah.
I don't want to exchange my lifefor money.
I want to have experiences. I mean me time.
Why can't we change the way we work?
Why is it that America is one ofthe few countries that has to
work 70 hours a week and still not be able to have enough money
to make ends meet where other cultures are only working 30 to

(01:17:51):
35 hours a week and they are doing just fine, you know?
So what's wrong with us? What's wrong with our our the
model of what we're doing? And you talk about building in
breaks for like World Cup. And so it's just like that, like
it's culture, It's your it's your atmosphere, it's how you
live your life, like it's food and drink and entertainment.
It's, it's living more balanced,right?

(01:18:11):
Yeah. And I don't.
Need to be that thirsty for for work all the time.
Right and I are. The person working 70 hours and
person working 40 hours. Salaries might not be all that
different. They're not.
They're not because especially the way our taxes work that you
have that break point, you have that break point where you
worked too much overtime, you actually worked too much
overtime and you just lost a bunch of your money because you

(01:18:34):
worked too much overtime. Like how fucked up is that that
you you went past that break even point and so now instead of
like the whole point of working the overtime is to put more
money in your bank account. But you work too much, so now
you can put more money in Uncle Sam's pocket.
You guys talking about like overtime?

(01:18:54):
Yeah, I just the difference in working and how how like with
Gen. Z we're saying that it's not
that they don't want to work, it's just they don't want to
work the same way we did and ourparents did and our grandparents
and work ourselves to death and have either nothing to show for
it or we have. Like, it's either or.
We either have nothing to show for it and we have time to do

(01:19:14):
things, or we have. All the.
Stuff, but we have no time to enjoy.
It yeah. Well, I mean what I think I
mean, and I find myself very fortunate to have a job where
first of all, overtime in New York, you get taxed the shit out
of that. So it's pointless, you know what
I'm saying? Your overtime, your overtime is,
is practically worth it. So it's like we would do like

(01:19:36):
our 40 hours to be like, OK, we're done.
Like let's go home. We're not even going to work an
extra hour because it doesn't, it doesn't matter.
But I'm with the new job that I'm working at.
What they also have a focus on is work life now, work life
balance. Yeah, and I hear that phrase all
the time. But what exactly does work life
balance mean? It's different for everybody.
Like what if you know what if let's say OK, so you guys are

(01:20:00):
both single men with out kits, OK, What's your work life
balance? I know, right?
Say that again. Look but.
As opposed to like with me, whenI was a single mom, raised my
kids, my homework life balance was, you know, like I couldn't

(01:20:22):
do it. There was no such thing because
I couldn't afford not to work, because I always have to pay
bills and keep the roof of the kids head.
But now that I'm older and I'm like.
You know. It's it's that balance of like,
what does work life balance mean?
What does it look like? I mean after nothing for me.
Well, you remember back when I was working at the other place,

(01:20:43):
I was working Sundays too. I was working Saturdays.
I was working all during the week.
I was exhausted. Let me tell you something.
I wake up in the morning. Yeah, I'm tired.
But I'm just like, I am happy. Sorry.
I'm super happy because I know at the job that I'm going to, if
I say something, they'll at least take it into
consideration. They'll listen to me now if I

(01:21:05):
call in. When I call in, I I don't just
tell my boss I'm not coming in. I told the person who was
sitting in front of me. I I e-mail.
I e-mail everybody who I come incontact with work that that
matters. Hey, I'm not in today.
Send all of your emails or sit whatever to this person and
he'll take care of it. If I can't come into work and
because I'm sick, hey, don't come into work.

(01:21:26):
We understand. You know, it's not like you have
to be here or we're going to dock your pay like this vacation
that I'm taking. They were telling me, oh, by the
way, you may not have known this, but you take, you get the
day after Christmas off and you're getting the day after New
Year's off. So while you're in Seattle, do
you want to, you know, come backon the 3rd?
You. You know, just a suggestion.
I'm just like, yeah, that's whatI'm going to do, You know what

(01:21:49):
I'm saying? They want they, they, they,
they. And then, I mean, of course they
had to tell me this, but they'rejust like, you know, we know
you're going away, but if you want to, you know, take that
extra day and hang out in Seattle, come back on the 3rd,
that's fine. I'm not.
I'm, I'm, it's a stress at my job that I could handle.
It's very stressful, but I can handle it.
But I'm happy because I went from here to here.

(01:22:11):
I mean, it's not, is it where I'm going to be?
I'm fine with it. You know, it's an improvement.
And sometimes I ask myself, am Ihappy because I left a situation
that I felt where I wasn't valued and I can't.
I mean, where I'm at, I'm getting paid $5 more an hour
than I was at the last place which to me is a big fucking
jump and doing the math and all that and and like with with the,

(01:22:34):
you know the I got Blue Cross Blue Shield.
That's like, the greatest insurance.
I. Was like when they told me what?
What? Oh, yeah.
By the way, you got Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance.
I'm like free colonoscopies, Youknow, like I'm.
Going there all the. Time.
No, you. Said it way too excited.
By that I'm going. To need a second opinion, let

(01:22:55):
me. Tell you what I tell you before
I before I like A few days before I got on a flight to come
here, I called up my Blue Cross and Blue Shield insurance
company because I'm like, I got to get a colonoscopy because my
mom won't stop bitching at me about it.
So I called. I called the Blue Cross and Blue
Shield. I'm like, hey guys, I'm looking

(01:23:16):
to get a colonoscopy. I need to find a place under
your umbrella. Can you can?
You help me about that and I waslike.
Oh. Yeah, sure.
And I'm just like, I was like soexcited because I'm just like
Blue Cross Blue Shield. It's fucking amazing work health
insurance, it's amazing. It's great.
I had it when I was working herein Seattle and, oh, it was

(01:23:36):
wonderful. So when I found was like, Oh
yeah, I'm back in the game now because I care about, you know,
my. So I called the lady and I'm
like, yeah, she's like, OK, giveme one second.
So she put me on hold for like aminute and after like finding
out where I lived and all that, I got my information and she's
like, OK, Sir, we. Found. 3. 100 places in A5

(01:23:58):
square mile And I was like, wow,that's a lot.
Can you? And I was like, filtering out
all this and I was like, OK, canyou send me like, OK within a
mile from this address, Jewish? You got someone been in small
spaces, you. Know like, no.

(01:24:20):
No, really. Crawl around in there.
They're very finicky. Like always.
On the. Boil in there, you know.
Like you invented the word boil.That sounds like a very true Is
that Yiddish? You.
Understand a word and and so shegave me.
I asked her to send me like an e-mail of like and she sent me

(01:24:41):
like 15 which was, which was like great keep doing that.
Yeah so but so I printed out butthe phone is ringing so I'm not
picking up the phone. I'm working and boss comes over.
He's like, this looks like this is yours.
And I look at him, I'm like, howdo you know?

(01:25:01):
And he goes because that guy just got his yesterday and I
just got and he had his two weeks before.
So like everybody on the floor had already got this because,
you know, we had a cop. I was like, yeah, I got to get a
colonoscopy because, you know, that runs in my family.
And they're like, oh, that reminds me.
So everybody fucking got theirs.Like they got there.
Yeah, because they wanted to getit done by the end of the year

(01:25:22):
because it seems like at the endof the year, like I have my
consultation on February 7th, soI got to wait because I'm a new
patient. So they're just like, yeah, you
know, it's OK. And then the, you know, we do a
consultation, we do a colonoscopy like maybe a couple
weeks down the line or whatever.But like, yeah, the work and
and, but at the same time they were just like, yeah, they how

(01:25:45):
much the insurance covers it, you know what I'm saying?
And they're just like, yeah, youknow, like, you see, colonoscopy
is like 3 grand for. Colonoscopy, I had mine.
I'm not getting last week last, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And endoscopy and colonoscopy atthe same time.
They were like, we started with the first conversation, like,
let me schedule. It and we started the 2nd.
Conversation. Like, we're going to put you on
there. We might as well do both at the

(01:26:06):
same time. I was like, are the cameras
going to hit in the middle? Like, I was like, are you going
to wave to each other? And and it was a bitch, dude.
It was like, you know, because you got to drink this nasty
liquid. Yeah.
And it was, it was a whole ordeal and.
Just like homeless people. Warm bath water, yeah.
Yeah, it's. Happened to your body.

(01:26:27):
It's just like. Oh my.
God and then getting back to normal is also like your body is
so empty. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that. Like even just filling it back
up like takes time. Right.
Yeah, I. Didn't go to bed like 5 days
afterwards like. I'm telling you that when I had
to prep Vermont, I swear to God I should add a crayon.
I What the fuck? And.
I couldn't. Thank God.

(01:26:50):
You know, you have to like. I couldn't imagine a toilet that
was far away from my my. Bedroom.
Oh. God, like I had to put a 5
gallon bucket. Next I slept on my couch, which
is like way closer to the. I would have gone.
Back to the Back Woods I. Would have just put like a
toilet. Seat on a bucket.
I remember, but I got my first woman.

(01:27:12):
I was 29 and me and my brother were living together.
He had a Basset Hound and so andI was asking people.
Incorporating. That's important for later.
So I would introduce. It.
So. I'm in the living room and in
order to get to the bathroom I had to go.

(01:27:32):
I. Don't know why that's so.
I'm sorry, man. I don't mean you're up.
What? I said is so like a big no, a
nose for sins. Yeah, very, very, very important
for this story. Very, very important to this
story. Very, very my brother.

(01:28:18):
My birth. So.
OK. You guys got out of the system.
You got the terrible people. This will be my last broadcast
by the. Way.

(01:28:46):
Says the audience. Doing what I'm writing right
now, it's my resignation like IQ.
You I. Just quit having.
E in it. All right, I'm ready.
I'm ready. I think I'm ready.
I. Hope I'm ready.
Go ahead. OK, guys.

(01:29:30):
OK. But this we now have a
challenge. The challenge for tonight's show
is that everybody has to either incorporate colonoscopy or.
Basset. Yeah, yeah, Deal.
Could tell me do it? OK.
Could tell me I will do that tonight.
OK, I will keep that tonight. Challenges on.
OK. Colonoscopy end.
OK, colonoscopy end. So we lived in a sort of the

(01:29:54):
living room. Me.
It's it's my brother's asleep. He has to work the next day and
you know, I got the dog sitting on the couch, Ben Bridge.
I'm just like watching because Ican't sleep because I'm I've
drank all this fluid in. There.
And I'm running back and it's kind of like the beginning.
I've been drinking it for like Iguess for a couple hours in like
small intervals. So I'm running back and forth to
the bathroom and and, you know, my brother comes home from work,

(01:30:17):
brings the dog in and the dog sitting next to me and watching
TV, and I'm drinking this solution and and I run to the
bathroom. I run back, I sit down and the
dog's like, we're going to be kind of funny, like, OK, you
know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like.

(01:30:38):
Fast as pounds. Do yeah.
You know but then I'm kind of and I and I and I got I got the
solution sitting right here. So like he was kind of like
sniffing it or whatever. And then he like, looks at me
he's like like trying to piece of shit.
And he was like, why the fuck are you drinking this shit?
So I'm doing and and I so I whatI do is I drink like I I do this

(01:31:03):
thing where I had poured like lemon juice.
And. Just because, like somebody told
me that I was, I just bought them because this is like and I
and I choked like a lot. I waterlogged myself like close
my nose and I'm just like wah wah wah blah blah blah.
Blah. I have to tell you, from my
perspective, that's the way A. Lot of young women get.

(01:31:24):
Blowjobs. They don't use.
Their noses? Well Sir, how do you know that
women? Talk So.
You women, did they? Less smelly men find you a man

(01:31:46):
with showers. I know, right?
It's all a good hygiene. We've.
All had that one. So.
So I'm checking this shit back because I figured, you know, so
I'm checking it back, so and I'mwatching.
I'm watching like a marathon show because, you know, I can't

(01:32:06):
sleep. And so my stomach is just, Oh my
God, it's bubbling. And I run to the bathroom.
The dog follows me, OK, not and and and he follows me.
Here we go again. Follows me into the bathroom
like I don't have time to kick him out because my ass is not

(01:32:30):
and I'm on the. And it's not a drill.
My dog comes in and I am. Now I am pissing out of my ass
at this point. No solids.
Like. No solids.
Because again, I've been workingon this solution for like 5
hours. Anyway, all you hear is and I'm

(01:32:51):
just like. I hope this next shirt has a.
Best now? My favorite breed of dog first
of all I love that and I and allyou hear is just like this
violent stream. Just it is just it is like a
violent stream coming from my not there's no it's.

(01:33:15):
All. Like and.
Capone like the dog. That's his name.
Capone. Little owl.
My brother's my brother. That's his dog and he named him
that. He even got a tattoo of Capone
that Speaking of T-shirts and hehas AT shirt.
I'm a passing out of them while I am.
I mean it's like a Super Soaker at like times 1000.

(01:33:39):
He's fucking howling. My brother storms out of the
fucking room thinking that I'm hurting his dog.
And he sees. Me.
On the toilet, I'm like I'm. Like close the door and he.

(01:34:00):
Sees the dog in the. Room you are.
Hurting the. Dog.
And it was just like I. And The funny thing is, like, as
I'm doing this, like as a comedian, I'm like.
And it's like and it's a. Burning because it's like, it's
a burning sensation like. Out of my ass.
So just. It hurts, You know, like.

(01:34:21):
I got to tell you, little pro tip.
Little pro tip. OK, for the next time you have
to do this, guys, make sure you take some baby wipes.
That's easy. That's not the but you take some
witch Hazel and put the witch Hazel and the baby wipes.
The witch Hazel will take care of the burning.

(01:34:42):
Dude, my asshole was on fire. And do you know what?
Do you know what witch. The number one ingredient of
preparation age is witch Hazel. It helps with the inflammation,
the swelling and the burning. He's taking a note.
That's. No, I might colonoscopy on the.
I know witch Hazel. Bassettons.

(01:35:03):
Colonoscopy. Basset Hounds, but yes, So yeah,
just a little pro chip, you know?
Get your colonoscopy like, keep your.
Dog Keep your dog out of health.One, yeah, anal health.
Two. Always.
Anal. Health.
Is a colonoscopy considered likelike self help for some health?
For. Some assholes. self-care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Health.
Care. Yeah, I don't.

(01:35:25):
Think so. I think it's it's more than
self-care. I think it's.
I think it's self-care to me is like a vanity kind of thing and
a sort of thing, but it's for. Shipping for anal.
Cancer. And I mean, you gotta take.
You gotta look good on the outside and also look good on
the inside. Right, but you can't have the
outside look good at the inside the.
Cleaner the. Anus, the closer you are to the
devil. Right.

(01:35:46):
Isn't that the expression? I think I picked it up in the
South. Yeah, that's probably, yeah.
Sounds like. Some mobile.
It's just like and no wind chains will take.
Care of that burn we. Don't use this house on.
The back of the house. We don't use wind chains around

(01:36:07):
here. These are, yeah.
See. What happened to the Bassettown?
Oh, it's dead now. Oh my.
Good, your balls going up. I hope my brother does not hear
this episode. He's quiet and he seeks her in

(01:36:33):
the ass like a. Mouse like a fuck Colonoscopy
killed the map. Of this fucking passing out
Romeo's like what the fuck? We are having way too much fun.
No, we're. Gonna get serious.
We're gonna get serious. Oh yeah.
Serious fucker. How you get well, we yeah, we're
not going to. Be How are you enjoying your

(01:36:55):
state in Seattle or Washington state 'cause then Northwest?
Yeah, come on this. Is this is pretty good?
This is pretty good. No.
The hospital has been great and we've done a bunch of shows,
rocked a few mics. We did more, we did like more
stage time that we thought we were going to get.
Like aside from the weekend, I like we did like 2 open mites.
I did three open mites. Met a lot of people and it.

(01:37:15):
Was the. Third one was trash it.
Was absolute trash and it was a mistake.
Was, do you think, was the original audience still there?
Yes. Oh, they said.
Oh, they said. That's the white.
Suit guy was there, Yeah, but that was fucked up because if
had gone in the middle of the pack instead of second, I'd have

(01:37:37):
done better. Yes, but we have a diva.
I'm not going to mention who. You know who you are.
Who, what? Did you do?
I don't know what I mean. Then I'm.
Just scratched off all of our names from the middle of the
pack and put us in the front in case they wanted to leave her
like bitch. I'm the driver, I thought.
It was. When you guys are fake, no.

(01:38:00):
You wanted in case you wanted toleave so.
Yes, but it was. I mean, it was still, but it was
really good because Jonathan andI workshopped.
We were talking about some different jokes and stuff and
different ways to approach the joke, which is something that's
really good. I mean, that's something that I
miss being able to have, that. I miss being able to interact
with other seasons. I.
Hope we keep doing that, even ifwe're.
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

(01:38:22):
Yeah, absolutely. And I can feel like having a
workshop where we can have like our like know that Jamal would
love to do it or Justin would love to do that.
Shanny would love to do that. Some of the.
People that just as one of just as actually one of the guys that
like after like you come off stage, like he actually, he's
good at giving people pointers. Like, I mean, the amount of
times that I've come off stage and he's just like, hey, that

(01:38:45):
joke you should probably add in like what you did.
Yeah, I was just realizing that,right?
Yeah. So it's just like and what I try
to do is just like because again, like that was the one
thing that was kind of like fresh on my mind when you when
we're talking about the one of the bits.
And I was like, OK, so I had to keep.
I was like, I cannot forget to add this part because I'm so
good at because I'm so used to telling this joke back 1000

(01:39:07):
times. But it's like I haven't given
you this. This feedback yet, But what I
like about it is because you're already as a community, you're
already establishing dominance over his dumbass request to you.
Your first response in saying that already solidifies your
your thing, your place in that seat.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
And then it's funny on top of that.
And then? You get into all your other.
Tasks. So it's like, when I say the

(01:39:28):
line that you gave me, I was just like, I was like, I have to
pay attention to the audience and how they respond to it.
Not to be like, oh, it didn't work, hey, fuck off.
But it was just like, let's see how this works.
And again, even if it like didn't work, I was like I would
keep using it because it's it's got to work.
So I'm going to try it again tonight, of course, because it's
like it's well embedded. Into the into.

(01:39:49):
The set. But it was just like, but I was
kind of like when I said it and I was like, wait for the
audience reaction to it. Because, you know, some people
kind of like, like my thinking and somebody else's thinking.
The timing is always different, but it's just like, let me give
him a chance to kind of see where I'm going with this, you
know, like. Here's here's a question I have
for you guys. So you guys both have your media

(01:40:11):
packets, right? What do you?
Do about media, like the media like the yeah to not just to the
press but like what you guys howlong so for getting bookers and
stuff when you have like you go to festivals, you do festivals
and stuff and when you try your submission for some of those how
long of of your recordings do you have?
Or or the clips. Yeah.

(01:40:32):
How long are your clips 5? Minutes.
I usually do a 10 minute clip, OK, because I I don't really do
like, I don't mean to say this in a bad way, but like I don't
really do 5 minute clips anymore.
Right? And my and my stuff is better
now. So I'm I'm in the city.
I average about 10 minutes, 1012minutes, 15 minutes, something

(01:40:54):
like that. Like save time in the city is a
little hard. So anyway, so I do about 10
minutes. I send them about 10 minutes.
I don't know how much they watchor not, but those are like my
recent. Clips, I mean, well, I mean if a
festival is asking for that likeor send us a 10 minute which I'm
like. That's a lot of time.
To sit through a bunch of, but if they ask for that, I think
the most that I've ever said waslike a 6 1/2 minute Cliff, so.

(01:41:14):
If you were so I'm asking this because I'm trying to re so.
You. Structure my.
Same question though, how, wherewhere do you get your 5 minute
cliffs from? Because.
Well, I see you do. Long sets all the time.
Well when I when I was living here I would go to labs every
weekend and they would put just like how you know they would put
me up and you know I get to workin and all that.

(01:41:35):
So usually I I had like a five to seven minute guest set or
sometimes. So what I what I did was I just
recorded it just to kind of havesomething to show if if needed
and. It was, it was like.
Short and sweet. So that's why it's just like the
average, you know, festival. They're looking at 5:00.
They won't even look at if you send in a 10 minute clip.
They only watch 5 minutes. They don't watch the end.

(01:41:57):
So most of your good stuff is atthe end.
They don't get to see your. Closure.
That's what I was going. To say So what I do is what I
what I do at laps is like I'll do my usual set, but instead I
can dance it. I cut out all the filler in the
middle. Strong beginning, strong ending.
There's my set. So I was going to ask though, is
that if you? Because I have.

(01:42:17):
I'm really I I lost all my good recordings.
I had some recordings of shows that I've done and I cannot like
other people have taken for me and I've lost them, which is why
I bought the new toy. You know, and you know I want
to. Let me.
Let me rephrase that. Why I wanted the new toy and why
my husband bought me the. Feeling very nice.
Like, but so when you're trying to restructure, do you guys go

(01:42:41):
through your stuff and like if you have a really good set and
do you guys go in and edit it down?
They don't. Want it edited right?
It has to be straight from beginning to end as unedited.
OK, they don't. Want messed up clicks?
You know, OK, so that's what I'msaying.
So then do you guys ever turn around and go, you know what,
I'm going to use my closer at the beginning because that's my

(01:43:02):
strongest. No.
I mean, here's the thing they don't.
I mean they look at, from what Iunderstand based on, I mean you
you have your own Comedy Festival, Hijinks has this
Comedy Festival. So I kind of pick their brains
on what they look for as far as like hey, how do you sit through
like. You guys that Comedy Festival?
Yeah, yeah. I run the Poconos Comedy
Festival. I ask for submissions.
When is that how often? It's in August, it's every year

(01:43:24):
it's in August, the last weekendin August.
Typically it's about 3 days, 5-6shows.
We do a podcast recording, we doRoast Battle, and we do showcase
shows. Wow.
We do a. Family friendly during the
daytime then we do like launch night time launch night time
show it's it's all it's all behind.
Yeah, so when you have asked people to submit videos for you,
how long do you have them? Also you submit a 10 minute

(01:43:45):
video and. Do you actually sit?
The document? Everyone.
Everyone of them. It's not just him, it's him and
a couple of friends. And I have two non comics sit
with me who are left out of Pennsylvania because that's who
the audience is going to be. And we have a grade that we fill
out. I'm very nervy about this stuff.
So I have a grade on like how original are they?
How diverse are they, what's theirs, what's their writing
like? What's their stage present?

(01:44:05):
So we got one to five and everybody scores them and then
we tie it this and I have a whole spreadsheet tiling it all
up. So if 100 people submit and I
want to get 20 spots, I'll writethe 1st 20 and then as people
say, sorry I can't make a buckleby I go to 21/22/23 and I just
work. It's very methodical and I just
work it down. It's very unbiased and.
That's what you have to do. I mean, to be an honest, honest,

(01:44:26):
you know, festival, you would have to do that, so.
I think, I think Tommy includes virtue and it includes, you
know, you you're so transparent.Why are you going to be a?
Dick, you know you just. You know, you got to, you know,
So yeah, so. And it's and I.
Mean this is a hard business. That's one of the things that we
all know. If we've all been doing this
long enough that we know this isa hard business, you have to.
Be over 10. Years, right?

(01:44:48):
Yeah. And you get familiar with, you
know, rejection, you know, and because you get more And and
it's interesting because I thinkI take rejection a lot different
now at this stage in my life than I did when I was younger
because I took rejection personally when I was younger.
Because now when I've been on the other side where I've had to
reject people or you know, like even as management fire people

(01:45:12):
and you say it's not personal. It's just really not.
It's like you just aren't a goodfit for this.
I'm not saying that you're not funny.
I'm not saying that you're not good at what you do.
I'm just saying you're not a good fit for this dynamic that
I'm trying, you know, this thingthat I'm structuring and putting
together, you don't fit into that.
And so I think that being able to have that honesty and being
able to have somebody gives you feedback is really.

(01:45:34):
Important How do you. The question always becomes, how
do you offer that feedback Like me, I have no problem telling a
comedian like, I mean I'm not going to say first, I'm not
going to say you suck because your comedy.
All of our like there's a marketfor our comedy.
I always tell people what, like Anthony Jeselnik, who's like the

(01:45:55):
most Ludus comic out there, but I'm like, you know what?
He's got a market. There's a market for that.
So it's not like he and not for nothing.
I think he's a great, good comment.
You know what? I'm saying but at the same time
like the stuff, he's very dark. There's dark people out there.
You know I'm saying so he so if he you slack his name on a
marquee. Coming soon to A.

(01:46:15):
Paramount Theater. He will sell out in less than an
hour. You will because there's a
market. So I don't it's hard for me to.
I mean, whenever Comic Con, hey,and the weird thing is, the
conversation is always weird because it starts off weird by
the other comics. Right.
Hey man. You never booked me on a show.
What's with that? What's up with that?
And it's like, OK, since we're going to have this conversation

(01:46:39):
and you presented yourself in a very classy manner, in a classy
manner, I will tell you why I won't book you on the show.
It's it's because a my audience wouldn't like you.
The theater that I work with wouldn't like you.
I don't want the theater to tellme, hey, we don't want this guy
to ever be back here again because that I've seen your
actor, this place, this place, this place.

(01:47:00):
And I always tell myself, OK, this is.
And not only that, my comedians on the lineups that I put
together wouldn't get along wellwith you so.
There we go. Because it's it's that you're
right. It's that how you're putting
things together and how people are are going to work together.
But if you're trying to build like a show, you wouldn't have,
like I always say, like I know Ithis this one comic that's in

(01:47:24):
Seattle. I would never if I'm putting
together a show, I would never book her with me, only because
our styles are very similar and that's boring.
You want the diversity. That's.
Interesting. You want a diversity well.
I yeah, I agree with that and that's correct.
But I remember doing a show whenI first got started and
everybody, I think the topic waslike Instagram, like I was, you

(01:47:46):
know, I was two years in eight years ago and Comic went, talked
about Instagram. Next Comic went and talked about
Instagram. I went up there talking about
Instagram and we had a whole it was practically a round table
disco. It was all.
In success. But so your style and her style
could have been, there could be chemistry in that there could be
Twin Towers, right? So and and The thing is so it's
is that there's also like a lot of times where people there is

(01:48:09):
something I I don't know if it'slike the universal learning.
I call it the universal learningwhere you you know people are
writing jokes about similar stuff across the the globe and
there's some kind of theme and it may be something really off
the wall or it may be something more commonplace that for
whatever reason people start writing jokes about it.

(01:48:30):
But I just, I just feel like in a lot of ways that being able to
have a diversity it it not just you know like like us three
right here we're very diverse and you know like and.
Yeah, like we've we've performedbefore on the same lineup on top
of like a few other people. But even the other people, it's
the first as well. But.

(01:48:51):
What I think for an audience whodoesn't really understand, like
the how the sausage is made, whodoesn't really understand behind
the scenes, like we're all very different, but we're all comics
to them and we all got that level of comedy together.
Seems like it brings us together, brings them together.
We're going to find. A bunch of.
Shit, yeah, we're actually doing.
But even though it's pretty cool, our styles are different.
Our point of views are different.

(01:49:12):
Look at the audience. Like even the audience.
You know, they might they they again.
It brings the audience together also in a way, but I that was
easy. Felt appropriate.
I think you know what we're gonna like end there and we we
actually finished, you know, finish.

(01:49:32):
His thoughts? I don't, I don't think.
I have a. Thought but I don't think.
You know, yeah, I'm not. Trying to to cut everybody off,
but I just looked at what time it is.
We got a show tonight. We have a show tonight and we
all have to go. We've got, it's like an hour
time. We got to get out of here, get,
you know, I have to. We got to put our faces on.
Put our faces on and. We got to.

(01:49:53):
Clean our butts. Yes, yes, because where are we
talking about them? We will, that was.
So fast now I'm like. Well guys, this has been a lot
of fun. Thank you for having me on and.

(01:50:13):
I had a blast. Thank you.
We're. Definitely doing this.
This is dope. Yeah, this was very cool.
This is very cool. And I I agree that we need to
definitely zoom workshops. We're going to make that happen
because I think that that's, youknow, what you find that group
of people that help elevate you,that's the people you want
around you, you know? That's the advice I give to

(01:50:36):
young comedians, fine comedians who will elevate you.
I'm going to take out this quickly.
Last night after the after the show, the set went to my merch
table and this young kid comes up to me.
This has never happened to me, ever.
He comes up to me. He's like, hey, what advice can
you give me about being a stand up comic And I'm thinking of

(01:50:56):
myself oh, teachable moment. I get to process line like you
say. But in this case, so I mean and
I was like, OK, I have time. Yeah.
So, and I was that mean the things that I was telling, I was
just like, well, first of all, you want to keep writing, you
know you want to. Definitely don't be afraid to
try out new ideas. Don't be afraid to to go up and

(01:51:18):
be bold and and and. Be daring.
Tattoo. Also, I was like, look, if
there, don't don't worry about failure, Don't worry about the
next comic success. Find yourself a rabbi.
Find yourself somebody who you can hang out with.
And I was talking about like, there's a lot of Seattle legends
out here. Find one.
Pick his brain. We have Give him, buy him a

(01:51:40):
beer, talk you know, gets, you know, get to know.
And then watch him, you know what I'm saying?
Like, watch these guys. And I told them the people I was
like, look, the first headliner I met when I was here was Derek
Jean. I brought him a Heineken.
And we was at giant time, we were talking and he was telling
me here's what you should do andhere's where you should go And,
you know, and bet and met him, Kermit or PO, like all these

(01:52:03):
guys that are on the road all the time.
So And I was telling him this and I was just like, yeah, you
know, you want to, you know, andmake good friends, keep people
or keep people around you. That's going to elevate you and
you're going to be fine. So hopefully, I think his name
was Elijah. Good luck.
But aside from that, yeah, we'regoing to be out of here.
Our special thanks to Jonathan Ziegel rhymes with the eagle.

(01:52:26):
And we didn't get to end with, you know, we did, we did talk
about our traditional book stuff.
So that was a good thing. So we felt like we.
Covered that Yeah, yeah, yeah, and yes, Definitely promote
yourself real quick. What are What are your socials?
Oh, right on. OK, thanks.
So yeah, I mean, if you're on Instagram, well, Facebook's just
my name. Jonathan Ziegel Z i.e.

(01:52:48):
GEL. Hopefully it's in the notes.
And then Instagram. I like to keep it simple.
So it's the real Jay-Z with an under score after every word.
So it's at the under score. Real under score.
Jay-Z, my initials. John's Eagle. under score.
Not JAYZ like the rapper, but Jay-Z like me.
The Real Jay-Z. You're welcome.

(01:53:12):
Absolutely. That's why, you know, we try and
use this as a black bar for people to also promote
themselves so. Call your local clubs.
Tell them to book me. Absolutely.
Yeah, you get, you guess the, you guess the Chabali Harrington
seal of approval for sure. Yeah, and very unrily too, for
what it's worth, you know. It's not about you proof of it's
not. About you, yeah.
Exactly, exactly. Happy New Year fuckers.

(01:53:34):
Bye, bye.