#14. Jordan Moore, Sekayi Phillips and Jessica Vargas. An episode our mother would be proud of.

We talk about online dating, what we think women want, some brotherly love gets tossed as we learn about yourselves. A very grand episode.

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome toanother brand new episode of
It's Not About You, starring myself, Jamal Harrington,
Marianne Riley and our new Co host Jonathan Ziegel.
As you can see, they're busy tonight because they have lives
and somebody's got to run the show.
So here I am doing the Lord's work, you know.

(00:26):
But I'm not alone, which is great.
On this show we have, first of all, we have somebody whose face
you've recognized because we share our same parents,
chromosomes. And he is my brother, Sakai
Phillips. So, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome my brother Sakai Phillips.
Yay. All right.
We've been waiting for your return.

(00:49):
Happy to be here yet again. Happy to be here.
Thank you. See that?
Professional. Fucking professional.
Just before we even bring up thenext guest, just just look at my
brother. I don't usually do this, but
just look at him. He looked like he was.
I've never seen anybody more prepared for this show.
I don't know if he got his paycheck this week, but he just

(01:12):
got his paycheck and he's like, yo, I'm about to be on a
podcast. I got to look good.
I feel underdressed as fuck right now.
Like, I feel like this is, this is this is me right now.
Just a dealer shirt just came from the Barber and but he just
like oh about to be on a podcast.
Maybe it's going to be televised.
Who knows. But what You know what I want to

(01:33):
say this way too very. You look very you're sharp.
Very sharp. I.
Appreciate it. I appreciate it.
You got you got to stay casket ready.
I appreciate it. Thank you very much.
That's very true. That's very true.
Yes. Oh, my God.
Yeah. So.
But stay alive. You look better alive.
Also on the show here is a really good friend of my

(01:54):
brother, Army buddies. I've had the pleasure of meeting
him last year and I can see whatmy brother loves him.
Ladies and gentlemen, my brother's really, really, really
good friend. Brother from another mother,
Jordan Moore. Jordan, What's happening?
How's it going? Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you, gentlemen. Appreciate the invite.
Now Jordan, well, first of all, thank you for saying yes.

(02:16):
And as I'm looking right now, like, if you didn't know any
better, like if you look at, like, if we screenshotted this
right now, the definition of Oreo is like, right there.
Like Jordan is dead smack in themiddle of two brothers, Like
literally brothers. And he's just like, I mean, even
even his like, background is white, that's how.

(02:40):
This is. Hold it down for the middle so
he's like. He's like, man, I don't, you
know, so you're definitely, you're not on the outside to the
far left or the to the far right.
You're actually like dead smack in the in the middle.
So, Sakai, we all know that you're in Seattle.
I'm in Brooklyn right now. Brooklyn, NY, Jordan, where are
you at right at the moment? In Virginia.

(03:03):
Virginia, OK. How and how?
And you're like in Virginia. Virginia is where it's at.
Yeah. So Virginia and where I'm at
anyways is about 10 minutes fromWashington, DC So obviously it's
not a small state. So a lot of people will think of
country or something like that In Virginia.
I'm actually in like what they call it Northern Virginia, which
is a little bit more city and kind of suburbs.

(03:29):
So that's good right there. All right.
So see and and that and that's what's cool about and you're on
you and I are sharing the same time zone.
You were just telling me before the show that you have a 5 month
old. That robs you of sweet dreams.
I mean, you didn't say it in those exact.
That's what I pictured in my head.
And like like I was just, I was talking to Jordan before the

(03:51):
show. I was like, hey man, you know
you look for for a person with a5 month old, you're selling it
pretty damn Well, you look good.You look well rested.
You know what I'm saying? Like you look like you have two
children, right? I do.
I have a four year old and I'm basically A5 month.
Old So. OK, so OK, fatherhood.

(04:12):
Sell me and my brother on fatherhood because we.
Don't. We don't have we're in our. 40s
and we don't have children. And when whenever, like I go on
a first date with somebody and you know, they're like, oh,
you're 40, they automatic. I mean, so kind of threaten me
if I'm wrong, but they kind of feel like they automatically
think that somewhere on this planet there's a baby Mama

(04:35):
that's going to call them up andbe like, where's the guy?
Where's? Your mom?
You have to think on the flip side of the coin is what the
fuck is wrong with y'all? You know what I mean?
So you know what you have mom call and talk about when you and
your brother's going to have kids.
I'm like, you know, like I like those conversations, right.
And I have. I have sent mom like videos of

(04:56):
Jordan's kid and she's like oh, he's so cute.
He's so cute and this and that to the point to where I don't do
it anymore because all it does is re trigger that grandma
instinct in her to where you getthe questions again.
You know. I mean, so you have to saw.
Feed the baby. Photos to you know, to to your
mom's or whatever. Especially when she wants more
grandkids. Yeah, but what also makes

(05:16):
matters worse also is when your social media friends from high
school that she's friends with show you like that nice fresh
baby that just came out the womband then she's just like, oh
wow. And then she shares.
I mean, she doesn't. She doesn't do this anymore.
Because I ask her, not, but she'll.
Share Like a photo like oh. Guess who just had a baby?

(05:38):
You went to high school? With them.
And I'm just like, yeah, they'rehigh school sweethearts.
I didn't really date anybody in high school.
Well, that's not going to happen.
You know what I'm saying? Like I don't I?
It's just, but she's like, yeah.You know, like.
When is this? When?
When am I going to get this? When am I going to see your face
on their body at the hospital? Let me ask you a question.

(06:01):
You know, you're Mr. Charming Comedian.
You know what I mean? You, you, you travel around
doing shows and this and that. There's not one apple in the
crowd that caught your eye, somebody that you said that I
want to reproduce with that person.
You know, like you missed this. I, I, I may be dapper, but you
have the personality, you have the charisma, you have the
mouthpiece, you have the gift ofgab.

(06:23):
But see, and I I first of all, Iappreciate the compliment and
no, I did not pay him to say this but but no because.
And it's funny that it's funny that you say that and and thank
you for that. I showed friends the picture of
you and I this past the holiday season when was at the comedy
club where you and I were like, we practically wore the same
sweater, the same type of sweater.

(06:44):
And one of my friends was like, oh, that's your brother.
And I was like one of my couples, Yeah, that that's my
brother. They're like, wow, you guys look
so dapper that they know that I don't have children and I'm
single. They're just like, how is it
that you guys are single? And I never have the answer for
that, because you and I I. Mean kind of speak for yourself.

(07:06):
You guys are single, you know, Imean, you have to speak.
For yourself. But I mean, not married, you
know what I'm saying? Not that good children.
That's kind of what I mean. Like and and and The thing is,
it's just like, I never know howto answer that question.
You know what I'm saying? Because you and I, we, I mean, I
kind of feel like we have our own charm.
You have your own charm that allows you to move the way that

(07:29):
you do. And yeah, and to answer your
original question, yeah, there'salways somebody in the crowd
that I'm just like, oh fuck, she's with him.
You know what I'm saying? Like, there's always that, you
know, person in the crowd that I'm just like, oh, I would like
to talk to that person. But then, before you know it,
that person is being brought a beer by the person you know that

(07:49):
she came with or it. Only takes.
It only takes one joke to changethat.
You do know that, right? Oh shit.
And I've been telling the wrong fucking jokes.
Or I need a right, better man. I mean, it's it's, you know, oh,
man, Yeah, you. But yeah, you're right.

(08:10):
Yeah. There's always somebody in the
crowd like, you know, I mean, I don't live that.
I kind of feel. I mean, I kind of feel like some
comedians do live that Rockstar lifestyle.
Yo, let me go buy you a drink. Let me go, you know, let me go
talk to this girl. And I kind of feel like after I
do a show, I could talk to almost anybody, depending on how
I feel no matter where I go. But with that being said and

(08:33):
done, I kind of feel like if you're a very smart, intelligent
woman, you're not trying to datea comedian.
Like just, you know, you're justnot like, why I there's been
times where I'll go on like a first date with a girl.
And I and I tell her, I don't even tell her that I'm a
comedian. But when I go to the bathroom
and I come back, I can see, like, when their phone, when

(08:56):
that that time, when the time's out, I can see that.
Oh, they're on Facebook. She.
Oh, she was looking me up. She's obviously for the three
minutes I was in the bathroom. She was able to scroll through
and see that I was. Oh, you didn't.
Tell me you were a comedian. I.
Don't. Usually tell.
People that. So you know what?
I'm kind of gathering out of this situation, right?
So, you know, when you kind of think about like nature or

(09:17):
whatever, let's just say we're wolves or whatever, right?
We have one wolf here that has athat that you know, has a pact,
you know what I mean? So I see us as the wolves that
get ran out of the fucking Wolf Pack, you know, therefore we not
reproducing or whatever, becausethe end of the game is it?
I mean, I know, you know, it's like the whole, like American
Dream and this and that. Oh, get married, settle down,

(09:38):
have a nice House of family, your own and this and that or
whatever, right? You know, the only person that
seemed to get it right in this trifecta right here is the Oreo
in the middle, you know? Yeah, yeah.
So, well, let me ask you this, Jordan, with that being.
Said. How long have you?
How long have you been dating before you?

(09:59):
You're well. Here's a better How long have
you known your wife? Yeah, So my wife and I have been
together for 16 years. We've been married for 9 of it.
Oh. OK.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's yeah, it's you know any relationship is is challenging

(10:20):
and you know when you have two kids it's the most challenging.
It's hard to say sell it becauseit's going to all sound kind of
say cheesy in the sense you knowwhat I'm saying.
But like any great relationships, that takes a lot
of hard work. I was first attracted to the
idea of having kids by the idea of like the legacy.
I know when I was in high schoolthere was two kids, the Evans

(10:41):
brothers that were like the champion wrestling and everyone
feared the the Evans brothers and all my my all growing up I
was like man, I want 2 little bad ass boys.
Shocked. You know what I'm saying.
Like. The more boys, you know, and I
got exactly what I wanted. So I got two boys.
They're both real sweet. Like I said, they're still four

(11:02):
and stuff, but we're going to let them be kids that, you know,
you know, the world, the world is tough in a way.
So you got to make them tough, but you know, sweet right there
in the middle, you know. How perfect is that, you know?
And right now, between all of us, you're you're the richest
man in the room right now. You know, you have a legacy.

(11:26):
You know, let me ask you this, and I'm kind of curious.
This is a question that just popped in my mind.
How did you propose to your wife?
Nice. Well, so provide some a little
context. I moved into the area.
I got a job. It was like almost 1:00 in the
morning and somebody I didn't even know got me to this
Halloween party. I didn't know anybody.

(11:47):
I ended up talking to this girl who turned into be my girlfriend
and then not wife. So Fast forward six years.
At the same Halloween party, I proposed to her in front of
everybody, made like a little speech, and then proposed to
her. Were you in costume at this
Halloween party? Yep.

(12:08):
I was a Viking, of course. And.
Nice. Hey, did you write your own
history book? You got to be.
Careful about what you write, yeah.
So, I mean, God, I I I really hope that this story ends when
she said yes, you like, grabbed her, put her over your shoulder,

(12:31):
and just marched the hell out ofthe Hallows you parked.
I want. I want that to be so true for
you, man. That's exactly what happened.
That's exactly what happened. Like you, my wife now.
And I took her, and I and I tookher virginity that night, right.
You know what I'm saying? True Viking.

(12:55):
Speaking like a spoken like a true Viking, bro.
Yeah, no, it's great. It's, you know, it is, it is
definitely been, you know, the most challenging thing obviously
I've done in my life and the most rewarding.
And you know, I'll be 40 this year.
I know I'm part of the young buck out of this group, you
know, senior senior men to me. So I pay respect to my seniors,

(13:19):
but you know, I'm learning just now that no this message rabbit,
Jamal. I'm sorry, sorry here.
Oh, there you go. You were selling your drink.
No, no, no. I I was actually looking for a
pen because I got to write notesdown South.
Sorry. Breaking the 4th wall.

(13:41):
Yeah, no, it's a yeah, like I said the most challenging things
in life or the the most rewarding.
So that's what I keep telling myself, right?
Well, I mean, it seems it seems first of all, it's nice to
actually have somebody who's happy on this show.
As far as guess who is, you know, I assume you're a good

(14:06):
father because I've met you. So I think you know based on
that alone, based on the the bond that you and my brother
have because first of all my brother's weird you know he is.
But the fact that he's got a good friend like, I mean, no.
And I say that what love. I mean I love him.
Sakai, you know that. But and it's just like I
remember like I I do whenever like you come to mind I'm like

(14:30):
wow, it is nice to know that my brother has a good friend like
you just in general. Sakai has met a lot of my good
friends and they get and you know for the most part they get
along fine. You know Speaking of that my so
kind of John Hurling. Even every time me and John talk
for our two hour long Sunday night conversations he always

(14:52):
ask about you. There's never even when we even
when we see each other. Hey, how's your brother?
And and John doesn't have Facebook either.
Like John's not like keeping up with people.
It's almost like, hey, look, I'mdoing this old school.
How's your brother? How's your mom?
How is everything? You know what I'm saying?
So it's just like, so Sakai's met my friends and he kind and

(15:14):
and so he knows the lengths theywill go, the lengths that I will
go meeting you. Sakai does from time to time
talk about the lengths you have went and the lengths he will go
for you. I've seen photos of Sakai
holding your kid. You know what I'm saying?

(15:35):
I don't think you. I mean and and and you know look
and and and as tough and as as tough as Akai is, you know he he
hangs out with my niece. You know what I'm saying?
Like he's good with children. Ladies, what's wrong with you?
Look at this face here like what's wrong with?

(15:56):
You if you see this. Face on.
Anything you. Should be all over that shit.
But the firm like but his personality.
Don't want the other? You know what, Speaking of
online dating, it's it's funny whenever, like the date always

(16:17):
asks you like, oh, you know, 'cause they know like, oh, he's
a handsome man again, You're very dapper tonight.
But they're probably like why are?
You. Like.
Why are you on a online dating site?
Like that's what they're. Asking.
I hate that question I. Hate that question.
Let me ask you this then. How do you combat that?

(16:38):
Answer that. How do you combat that question?
What? What is your answer?
How do you rebuttal that? Well, here's the thing, right?
The purpose of being on it is not to be on it.
You know what I'm saying? Right?
You know, 'cause it I, I I think.
I mean, I got a love, hate relationship with online dating
because when you give somebody unlimited options or whatnot,

(16:59):
you know, I mean, think about itlike this, right?
Think about it like this. You got a Honda Civic, right?
You swiped on a Honda Civic, right?
You got, you know, good conversation with this Honda
Civic. Everything is going well with
this Honda Civic and then you swiped on a Honda Accord.
Now what's stopping you from nottest driving that Honda Accord?
You know, I mean so. And if you really think about it

(17:22):
right, it almost seems like thatmeant there's AI mean.
Even Jordan knows back in the days you're always on online
dating when it was just a desktop and a big ass monitor.
You know what I mean? So.
This is nothing new. This is nothing new, but when
you put it in a cell phone and put it in someone's hands and
like, if I'm not mistaken, I I Iremember I did a paper on online

(17:42):
dating and I actually interviewed Jamal Dar.
Host A few questions, right? It was a while back.
I don't know if you remember. That.
But I do remember this, yes. Like one company owns a lot of
these dating sites, so it's likealmost a conglomerate or
whatever. So if I was to create an online
dating site, my idea would be tokeep you on there as long as
possible. So hopefully you can buy these

(18:03):
extra contents like unlimited swipes for 999 and this and that
or whatever. So and it creates an environment
where I think a lot of young adults really don't know how to
talk to the opposite sex in person.
You know I mean to where it's just like OK you know and
majority if not which Jamal I know you've done online dating
before or Hayden like do you like to be called do you date on

(18:25):
looks or do you read the profile.
You know what, I actually. Do read Are you a serial swiper?
No, no, no. I read the profile because I'll
tell you why. I'll tell you why I read the
profile. If you just keep swiping and
then somebody ends up liking youand you and and this I've I've

(18:47):
heard many stories and I don't mean to.
I'm not trying to like be nasty towards like other people or
other types of people per SE. But let's say you're just like
oh. She's pretty, She's.
Pretty. And mind you, you're looking at
what, 1-2 seconds? Because again, whenever we meet
people, it's the the looks, that's the the attraction.

(19:09):
The visual is the first thing that we're attracted to.
We don't visual people exactly. We don't get to really know
deeper or who you are until we actually meet you.
But I had a friend, and I've even fell into this trap myself,
where if you're a serial swiper and you're not reading the

(19:30):
profile, you might end up with somebody who you wouldn't really
find yourself wanting to be with.
Case in point, how many times have you got this message?
And I know I have, just to be clear, you know I'm a trans,
right? No, seriously.

(19:54):
Like you. You're just right, right, right,
right. And it's just like wait.
And then and then you think to yourself, wait, I liked.
And then you go to that profile and you're like first thing and
and funny thing is it's in caps.First thing is I'm trans post op
or whatever. And you're almost like like.
Oh shit. Now nine times out of 10, what

(20:15):
are you going to be like? Oh, my bad, you know, Didn't
know I'm a serial swiper. What are you going to do?
But here's the thing, you got two options.
You can either not respond or whatever.
You know, I mean because if you let's just say the the almost
like the the hurtful thing wouldbe like if you just unmatched.
Right. And then you say and then you
bring down that person's self esteem right to where it's just

(20:38):
like you can either a ignore it depends what apps you use and
some apps it will it will like for instance the reason I like
bumble or whatnot. Right.
Which I feel like I'm advertising for this shits and
whatnot right is when you when you swipe it's the opposite sex
that has to be the first one to initiate the conversation.
So let's just say you read the profile and you don't like what

(20:58):
you see. You don't have to necessarily
delete, because you could wait 24 hours for it to delete itself
to where it will actually unmaskyou to from for lack of
interaction. They they they send a respond.
I know, Jordan, you're not, you're not unfamiliar with this,
but you heard my escapades on these sites or whatever, But
when they link you up, they dropa message.

(21:19):
You have 24 hours to respond. If you don't respond, it will
dissolve the message as if you know it's not so much you're not
interested. Maybe you was on vacation, maybe
your phone was in the airplane, modem, whatever.
You got 24 hours. But, but with that said, I kind
of want to ask Jordan a questionbecause we was kind of going on
to like the swiping off likes, right?
You know, Jordan said he met hiswife at a Halloween party,

(21:40):
right. So Jordan, I assume there was a
lot other single females at thisHalloween party or was it a
small party? I mean, it was a smaller house
party, but there's probably like, you know, 30-40 people
there. Yeah, but there were certain
things that, that that I saw Kate doing.
I mean, she actually technicallycame up to me.

(22:00):
We were actually on the like, the dance floor.
I kind of, I was literally went there because I knew that
somebody that I worked with was going to be there.
He told me to come, but it was some random girl that gave me
directions. So I was, you know, single and
ready to mingle. So I'm on the dance floor.
I kind of start just, like dancing around.
And then I realized, like, I'm alone.

(22:21):
I see all the guys like on on the side.
And I was like, yeah, I better chill out, you know, I don't
know, like these old ladies. So I kind of like, back off.
Well, then she comes up and she was like, do you want to go
outside and smoke? And I was like, well, I don't
know, smoke cigarettes, like, yeah, me neither.
So, yeah, but, you know, there were other things that that that

(22:43):
turned me on. But you know, not to get real,
like philosophical and cosmic isyou know how I do sometimes.
But the truth be told is that you got to manifest it.
You got to manifest it. In order to manifest, you got to
get the idea woman Avatar in your mind.

(23:03):
Unbeknownst to me, I did that and I got exactly what I wanted
when I thought of the woman thatI wanted to marry.
I thought of the mother to my children first and foremost,
really before like my needs or wants.
As far as physical attraction, that was really never part of
the discussion when I set out tostart thinking about those
things. So I always envisioned and

(23:26):
started to name the characteristics of type of woman
that I wanted to be the mother of my children and was
passionate and like kind of focused on that.
And so when I look for a partnera lot of times and a lot of
times this was subconsciously, but I would gravitate towards
those type of motherly type of women you want.
Someone would say you and I'm saying and I got exactly what I

(23:49):
wanted, so. I have a quick question like
based off that I don't mean to because you know you do have a
beautiful wife or what not. So the first thing you said is
like, if I was to procreate withthat person, I think I would
have healthy, beautiful kids or whatnot.
Because the reason I asked this question or whatnot is because
the movie was talking about the serial swiping or whatnot.
You know, men are visual creatures or whatnot, you know?

(24:10):
So you should say you step into the club, you're looking right.
You know, it's almost the same thing as online dating.
You don't know these people's backgrounds.
The only difference with online dating and in the real life?
Is if you choose. To you could read the profile,
but, you know, I hear a lot of people, they're just serial
swipers or whatnot. So being that, you know, you're
on the dance floor trying to dance, I call that peacocking.

(24:32):
You know what I mean? Like, you know, you know,
Peacock gets his feathers out toattract the other mates and this
and that. You know what I mean?
The colors. Exactly right.
You know, And sometimes I think dressing dapper is like
peacocking, you know what I mean?
Like, I've heard plenty of of women say, you know, you, your
sharp dresser does that or whatever, right?
So once you visually get the person you know, then it goes

(24:53):
from there to see, OK, is this the type of person I could spend
the rest of my life with? You know, does this person have
the values that I, I, I cherish?Does this person, can I see me
and this person successfully raising kids and and and staying
married together for the sake ofthe kids?
You know what I mean? Because, you know, no offense to
people out there who like fatherchildren with fives or six baby

(25:13):
Mamas and this and that or whatnot.
But, you know, I would almost like to ask them a question.
Like, was that something visual?As soon as you said that person
And then you know, the first thing was to do was like, oh,
let me just procreate or this and that.
And then later on in your life you realize that, hey, maybe
this is not the right person forme.
So you rinse and repeat until you have 5 different kids from
like 5 different baby Mamas. I've always wondered.

(25:35):
Yeah, no, you you actually, you have a very strong point, Sakai
and I and I and I think about that too.
Like when you're going out, you know, the dapper look, that's
like it's like fishing, you know, the dapper look.
If you're putting that reel out there, you're going out there.
You're like the worm on a hook seeing who's going to buy

(25:56):
wherever you go. Sometimes you don't even have to
go to a club. You could be at like a
supermarket. You could be on the train.
But if you if you, if you. Because The thing is, women want
what I find that women want, andI, and I think you are, I think
all of you guys are confident men.
You know what I'm saying? The thing is, a lot of what I've

(26:18):
seen is like even in my neighborhood, I've seen guys try
to hit on girls and it's like, dude, that's why you're fucking
single. Because that shit doesn't work.
That's what I said. I just want to say one
compliment. As goofy as I think my brother
is, sometimes he pulls some pretty attractive women.
You. Know what I mean?
So. As goofy as I think he am, he
puts some pretty attractive women, so he's on to something

(26:41):
right here. So so The thing is you know and
and again I'm sure we've all been to clubs like you went to
the Halloween party well you dressed as a Viking so that
that's different But we're always we always we always have
to put our best features forwardand usually it's our looks or
what little looks we may have sometimes and and not for

(27:03):
nothing you know with women theylook it's not just about oh you
know they have they're on a different they are looking for
something that that's most likely different from what we're
looking for for the most part you and Sakai like Sakai is
saying as far as the procreationpart my thing is I look at that

(27:27):
too but I what I also look for in a relationship is how are you
in the time of crisis that to methat's that's one of the
important things like don't get me wrong childbearing.
And all that. That's all good.
But I'm like, yo. If shit's not going your way or
our way, how do you handle that?And I'm not going to lie, I've

(27:49):
been in some relationships whereI'm like, oh shit, I'm
embarrassed for you because I think, go ahead, guys.
I didn't mean to cut you off, but I remember Jordan said this
one thing a long time ago is if you want to see how I'm
paraphrasing, but if you want tosee how strong your relationship
is, go on vacation together. Oh, yeah, You know what?

(28:11):
That That's good too. Yeah, you're right about that.
You don't know exactly who you're with when you're on
vacation with that. Imagine missing flights.
Your reservation gets fucked up.I mean, Jordan, I don't know.
Y'all wasn't in the tattoo parlor when Y'all called me up
and told me they're going to kick us out of this hotel room
or whatever. I fell apart like.
Wet. Newspaper panicking.
You're like, oh shit. But you know Jordan.

(28:34):
But I can see why his wife married him.
Bitch. Jamal, you know, came fucking
through, confident as ever. Went up to that desk and made
shit happen or whatever, becauseI screwed up on the dates or
whatnot, you know? You know, we had suites, We had
three other rooms or whatnot. He went downstairs and he, to
me, made the impossible happen because I wasn't there, you

(28:55):
know? I mean, I was like halfway
through a tattoo. So, you know, no offense.
Tomorrow you have your skill sets, but I trusted.
Jordan to get the. No, no.
It's funny that you mentioned that, because I do remember I
was, I was coming, I would have my hotel room and the lady was
like, like the cleaning lady wascoming and she was like, oh, you
guys, you're still here. And I'm like, wait, what do you

(29:17):
mean we're still here? Like what are?
You talking about she was like, oh, and then she like, had her
tablet and she was like, she waslike, yeah, you guys were
supposed to have already. You want me specifically, you
were supposed to have already checked out.
And I was like, I was like, OK, like, I literally like shit a
brick right in that hallway. So that's when I was like, OK,

(29:41):
can you give me a moment? And the and.
Let me go share that shit with my friend.
So I was like, I told I was like, we're supposed to be here
till like the 4th and she was like, no, no, no, you're
supposed to be like literally checked out and everything.

(30:03):
So I think I called you. I went into your room, Jordan
was there, and I told him what the situation was.
And The funny thing is, like, nobody really panicked, you know
what I'm saying? I know nobody really panicked
because like you know, being that I had the suite or what
not, you know, everybody could congregate in there till they
got their heads right. But still, the fact that I was
like, you know, when Jordan end up calling me and telling me it

(30:26):
was all taken care of, it was all settled or what not, you
know, hey, I wasn't surprised orwhatnot because I know that, you
know, like I said, I, I've knownhim for years, decades and
whatnot. You know, think about it like a
mission. You know what I mean?
You got a mission, you got a goal, you got an objective, you
know, and that's kind of what I think about relationships,
right? Because, you know, because Jamal
was stating or Hayden was stating earlier on, it's like

(30:47):
you know, women are looking, youknow, I I don't want to talk for
women or whatnot, but just kind of the broad generalization is
like what women are looking for is like, you know, confident
first of all, confident men, youknow, I know when Jordan went to
the desk, he had to talk on the behalf of what there was like 3
hotel rooms, 4H rooms. He was talking on the behalf of,

(31:08):
you know, I mean talking on my behalf since I booked a lot of
y'all's rooms. So you know, with that said, you
know you're also looking for a protector.
For instance, like, you know, when the ladies had to leave,
he, you know, made sure to hop in the car to make sure they got
home safe. Because he brought up a good
point. We don't know this taxi driver.

(31:29):
You know what I mean? And the fact that, you know it
was my birthday so I'll admit, you know, I was I was a little
intoxicated or whatnot. So I didn't think about it in
that grand scheme of things because we all couldn't fit in
the car. So you know a a a foresight.
You know what I mean to know. Hey, we're in Vegas.
We don't know these taxes. Taxi Driver, Why are we going to
have all the ladies going into this car with this guy?

(31:49):
We don't even know. Which made perfect fucking
sense. You.
Know what I mean? Perfect fucking sense.
So you know, it's either he was looking out for the females or
he didn't want to walk back and got one more person, you know?
So one more person is like, fuckthis, I'm getting a ride back.
So either way, either way, it worked out perfectly and me and

(32:10):
my brother did the walk of shameall the way down the strip.
Yeah, we sure did. But anyway, it's that
confidence, you know, I mean, and.
Also, and I think, and this is something that you and I have
talked about before like in private, but I'll just throw
this out there, confidence, stability.
You. Got to have stability.

(32:31):
You got to have a level of stability because it's just
like, first of all, if a woman, not for nothing.
If a woman has gone through college and even went to like,
like, what is it? Finishing school?
You know, Graduate School or whatever, She is not trying to
take care of you. I'm sorry, she's not.

(32:51):
When, if, if, if you have no kind of and you don't even
necessarily have to be a lawyer.But if you're not about
anything, why is a woman who hasbeen, who probably has college
loans out the ass who could probably take care of herself
and take care of her college loans?
Why would she date down? Women aren't looking for that.

(33:15):
You know what I'm saying? It's stability.
It's hey if if and again when I say stability it's hey if shit
hits the fan will he be strong enough to to handle this Can he.
You know, stability is very important and it's just like, I
mean they won't come out and sayI'm looking for this how many

(33:35):
times have. And and I know this has happened
to me before when I started online dating when you when a
woman asks me hey, So what you do and then you say your app,
you say what your occupation is and it's less than 50,000 a
year. And you don't.
Hear from them anymore. So here's the thing, right.
So tomorrow if I could ask you aquestion, right?

(33:56):
Because like you know, just justknowing Jordan, like you know
our our history together, you know, this instances where you
know, I learned a lot from them,you know what I mean?
Like, you know, when he puts hismind to something, you know, he
gets down to it. He's the one that, you know,
kind of taught me about, you know, investing in gold and this
and that. You know when I burnt my first
ounce of gold or whatever, you know, I'm excited or whatever,

(34:17):
you know, you know, made me lookinto stock or you know, self
help books which I should actually look more into or
whatnot. I really haven't bit onto that
fucking crumb yet. But there's a there's a lot of
stuff to wear. You know what they say.
What's what's the what's the estate you are.
You are the sum of the worst of the worst of your friends, or

(34:37):
you're the sum of your friends or how does that?
You're the average of the. It's almost.
Like you are who you hang out. With what did you say, Jordan?
You're the average of the five closest people to you.
Exactly. Exactly.
All right. So with that said or whatnot,
that's a lot of, that's some of the reasons why I had to, you
know, kind of like cut off my friends or whatever.

(34:57):
Not that like, don't like them or this and that or whatever.
It's kind of important in your life where you kind of grow past
certain things, right? You know what I mean?
The whole, like, misery loves company and this and that.
Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not.
I don't see myself out there every weekend just, you know,
getting blackout drunk. I don't see myself like, you
know, running the streets tryingto juggle like a million

(35:20):
different, you know, women and this and that, right?
There's like certain things thatout because it gets a point in
your life where you kind of haveto say, like, you know, women
love stability, they love this, they love that.
They don't really like unpredictive nature Like, you
know, So it gets to the point towhere where am I going out with
this to where it's I guess tomorrow like.
Huh. I was.

(35:40):
Going to say, is he going to come home every night?
Is he going to spend time with me?
You know, is he going to, you know, And again, yeah, you're
right about all that. It it when I say stability, it's
like, hey, is he going to be my rock?
You know what I'm saying? It's.
Called commitment. It's called commitment.
Some of y'all afraid of commitment out here.

(36:01):
Don't. They don't care.
They don't care about the protection.
They don't care about the confidence.
They'll take a scrub, you know what I'm saying?
They'll take a guy that's, you know, with some called beta or
that they don't have the good job, you know what I'm saying?
They'll take care of the guy that has the video games because
it's committed. Now if she continues to level
herself up, she's going to startexpecting more of that

(36:24):
commitment that you initially gave.
If you cannot keep adding to thecommitment, things within our
journal like going to break apart.
But any great relationship, my relationship with even Sakai,
it's taken commitment over the years, you know what I'm saying?
Like second in with each other, chatting, all these kinds of
things, right? So everything takes a certain

(36:44):
level of commitment. That is what they want.
And that's the hardest thing forus.
That was definitely the hardest thing for me.
I mean, and it still is. I mean like in the front.
I mean it's it's in a world of consumerism.
We're constantly being challenged and being tested with
this idea of wanting more. You know what I mean?
So you're constantly fronted with the idea of variety and

(37:06):
having your pick and all these kinds of things.
That's why it's so important to you for you to narrow down
exactly what it is that you want.
You know what I'm saying? In a partner at a life and your
purpose and all these kinds of things, because it just makes it
easier, actually. Then they're not just throwing a
bunch of different, you know, poles out there or lines out
there. You could be more strategic as

(37:28):
far as what you're doing. I've always envisioned, you
know, like I didn't want to do, like, say, online dating or
finding someone in the bar because I had quit drinking.
I'd already committed to not drinking prior to finding my
wife. And I said I didn't want to find
a bar girl. So I would always dream up like,
I'm going to go to Barnes and Noble.
I know I told you this. I would always envision me going
to Barnes and Noble, find like little smart book, smart guy,

(37:51):
you understand and you know, andmore organic.
That was always the idea. I wanted to be organic and I so
knew. You just can't sit at home for
things to be organic. So I am an introvert.
When I got off of work, I wasn'ttired.
I really didn't want to go out because I was done for the
night. But I got invited to a Halloween
party, so I went, you know, and that's, you know.

(38:16):
And you just touched on you justtouched on something that I now
am like, you know what, fuck online dating.
I don't want to and and and I would tell my friends, I'm like,
I don't want to match with somebody who matched with me
while taking a shit at her job. You know what I'm saying?
Like the how, how much respect do you have for me if you're

(38:40):
just sitting there on the toilet, you know, carving 15
minutes of work that you should actually be doing and just
swiping and, oh, look, here's myphoto, right?
And it's like, no, it. But again, like you say or and I
even told my friends, I'm like, I deleted all my dating apps.

(39:01):
I'm like, I don't care, you know, because like you said, I
want to meet somebody organically.
Now if I end up at a bar and I and I see somebody there and I
approach, that's one thing, It'slike, OK, I'm going to, I'm
going to roll the dice on it. And like you said at Barnes and
Nobles #1, that's a great place to meet somebody because you
know that somebody has a brain in their head or you know, is

(39:22):
looking to level up their their thinking.
And I'm always, you know, my last relationship.
I'm not going to lie. And even dad met, you know, my
last girlfriend. It was awful.
And I really hope she listens tothis podcast and realizing, no,
I'm going to I'm going to respect her.
It was and and and I remember when we broke up, it's funny, it

(39:45):
was an open-ended breakup, whichmeans, like, she left me a
message and I didn't respond. And I was just like, thank God.
And I was thinking about unread,Huh.
You left her unread. Is that what the terminology
where you left her on unread? No, no, no.
I saw the message but I just didn't respond to.
It because I kind of. Knew what?

(40:07):
I knew what the answer was. And a part of me was like, oh
great, I'm free because I've been wanting to break up with
her for weeks. But I my thing is, I didn't have
the heart. Little shit, I see sorrow in
your eyes. I see sorrow in your eyes.
I. Didn't.
Have. The heart to do it and and and
and I'm just like you know I wasjust like we we did not we did

(40:31):
not mesh because again if you know me I am I'm outgoing
whenever my comic friends from Seattle come and visit and if
we're cool hey let's go out and drink and have a good time and.
So. I'm one of those kinds of people
that if you're going to come visit and I take you out for
lunch or whatever, I'll pick up the check.

(40:53):
I don't care. I.
Just want to cut it real quick, right?
I remember back in the days in the beginning of online dating,
right? Do you know how much money I
would blow in a week? Feeding.
These women, because, like, I'm a gentleman, I'll pick up the
check, right? There's some hungry ass women
out there, yo, some hungry ass women out there.
They like their mixed drinks. They don't drink beer.

(41:16):
Show me a woman that's drinking well.
Beer, yo. They're not drinking well.
Here in New York, you can get like a book, like a mixed drink
for like 1415 bucks. And it's not.
They're not just drinking one. You're doing the.
Match. You're doing the match in your.
You're doing the match in your head every time the bartender

(41:36):
comes by. OK, OK.
You go on a hike on your first date.
You go on a hike on your first date.
After the after the date, she unmatches your ass.
You know what I mean? And then you need to look at
your bank statement. You're like, oh, I went on a
date there, date there. But what's even fucked up is
when they unmatch you. It's like, oh, he think he cute.

(41:57):
Like. Hold on a second.
You just bought $90.00 worth of drinks and you don't even
remember where you went last night.
He does have a point to where like, I don't know if anybody
knows this or whatever, but I'm doing my dry January, so I
haven't drank at all or particularly any marijuana
products or whatnot. So it's.

(42:18):
I'm not going to lie, the first few days I was angered in a
muffler. Matter of fact, the first I was,
I was like, fuck around and findout, Matt, you know what I mean?
Now I don't even notice anymore.Like, I see you drink on enough
yo, drink on up that true drink on up yo.
It doesn't even bother me. I had people just blow straight
dozer smoke in my face inconsiderately and I still

(42:39):
don't even. Know I went 2 1/2 weeks without
drinking. Minus January 2nd.
I went 2 1/2 weeks without drinking.
I, and even with the job, I was like, but I was like, you know
what? Maybe I'll do a dry January.
Then I drank a White Claw and I'm like, fuck it.
You did a white claw turn you out on the dry January?

(43:05):
I thought. I thought.
I was doing myself. I was like, let's do a white
claw. Ah, fuck it.
Went out by the way. Club what?
We're going to do, we're going to do 42, we're going to do 43
minutes worth of relationship advice and.
Still be single the next day. The merry man.
Yeah. Well, shit.
I mean, obviously. Hey, obviously Jordan has the
formula. You know Jordan, but you know

(43:28):
what though he. Told me the formula and I still
haven't used it. And it's because of my the
little, you know, I. Go ahead, Jamal.
Go ahead, Jamal. No, I was going to say I I want
to meet somebody. I would rather meet somebody
organically, like my last girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend.
I met her, we did a comedy show.I met her and I approached her.
I bought. I was like, hey, let me go buy a

(43:49):
drink and let's talk about comedy.
And she sat with me and we talked about comedy.
And we walked around Park Slope in Brooklyn and walked into a
train. And then two weeks later, she
asked me if I wanted to come, ifI wanted to see like, an opera,
which I'm like, that is bald. That's how, you know, somebody
kind of, like, likes you when they invite you to something

(44:10):
that even you would be caught dead in.
But I said yes because I'm like,she's cute, she's funny and you
know. How ballsy is that?
She took you in something we can't even talk at.
No, no. Well, we talked afterwards.
I mean, it was just like, yeah, yeah, I mean, we talked after I
got to meet her Co workers, I got to learn more about her.
And then from there, you know, we hung out a lot and, you know,

(44:35):
a good 3 1/2 months and I was like, Yep, I'm done.
Color out by name. Color out by name.
You seem to be. Done with a lot of these.
Guys, I'm, I'm, I'm noticing a atrend here.
Each one, you're done with them.Boy, you wear your heart on the
sleeve like a mother. Yo, what are you?
Talking of you, let me not call,let me not call you out or

(44:56):
whatever, but I'm noticing the trend.
Like you're you're always done. Like I had enough.
I washed my hands in this situation, right?
Come on, you don't get hurt. I get hurt.
No. No, I wasn't.
No, I was glad. Separation.
I get hurt. I may not show my hurt, but I
get hurt. No, no, no.
If I OK. To be honest with you, I do

(45:18):
think about it from time to time.
But the more that I think about it, I'm like, yeah, we this this
this was the best thing that happened to me.
Because The thing is I she she was very negative, very
negative. I got to meet her parents.
She met Dad and dad thought she was a nice person.

(45:38):
Bring up these. Women to meet your dad like No,
no, I didn't. Probably sick of meeting your
entourage of women. Like, when is this boy going to
settle down? You know what I mean?
Like, no, no, no no. No, I I I was going to cook.
I wanted to cook for her. Where's your cook for her?
It was a steak. It was a steak.

(46:01):
It was a. Because she likes steak.
You know she she. You know, I cooked steak and I
think it was macaroni and cheeseand like grilled vegetables or
something like that. And would you have to drink Ian
J? No.
No, we I didn't drink. Ian J OK, we.
Were going back to her place afterwards, But I, you know, I
wanted to. I like, I like to show that I
could cook because, you know, I'm like, hey.
And and macaroni and cheese and steak was your your.

(46:24):
That was my go to. That was my go to.
That was my ladies. I'm just going to talk on the
universe. Ladies.
I will cook you a nice cut. Savory.
You know, nice. A nice salmon with some
asparagus on the side or some roasted broccoli, you know, with
some seasoned potatoes or maybe some garlic whipped mashed
potatoes or whatnot, you know, and maybe some, you know, some.

(46:48):
Definitely not a white car like PO Dijon.
What's what's the nice champagnethey got out here, You know what
I mean? Just like, yeah, you got to step
it up. Your steak and macaroni and
cheese dog. Just just like, you know?
Just just so you know, this is not a dating app.
You know that, right? I know, single.
I'm not. I'm not looking to date ladies
on here. I'm not single and ready to

(47:09):
mingle. I just want y'all to know that
just get y'all looking at me like you know.
I mean I'm not single and ready to mingle.
You know what I mean? So I'm not going to slide in my.
DMS I was going to say, if you end up getting something from
this podcast, hey, good for you bro, good for you as shit.
I like, I like to hey, I like toI like to know that I had my
hand in this, even for you know,even if it's for two months.

(47:33):
Hey, where'd you meet this guy at?
Oh, I was listening to a podcastand salmon and asparagus.
Sold. I've seen the pictures he he was
a good. Yeah.
When I flex, I take, I take a picture of my meal.
When I flex. When I flex, I take a picture of

(47:53):
my meal. I send it out because, you know,
I get my workout on, you know what I mean?
So I try to get a, a balanced meal, you know, You know, when
you get a balanced meal or whatever, you know, like, you
know, I got to send pictures of it.
I always think that if you couldfollow instructions, you could
cook. But in your case, I'm assuming
it was shells and cheese out of a box.

(48:14):
Don't lie, don't lie. What was it?
What was it? You were right.
You're right. You're right.
OK, I figured that. Hey, you know, that's.
That's the little thing from like.
You know from from exceptional and extraordinary, you know what
I mean? So it's the details that count,
yo. It's the little.

(48:34):
Details. The little details and my little
my little. You know what?
Say what you will, Sakai, I willsay this.
She didn't have to lift a fingerand cook at all.
I did it. I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying? And and and nothing.
Nothing. It's like look, and I know you
can cook. I've had you've cooked many
meals. Oh yeah, when you still win, I

(48:55):
cooked. For you.
No, no, you you, you throw down in the kitchen for real.
So it's just like, you know, andand you know what I would tell
people? I will, you know, with like, oh
wow, like even like the relationship before that.
You know, You know there'll be times where I'll cook and my
other ex would cook. And it's like because you want
to know why. If you're working your ass off,

(49:18):
like if you're working 15 hours a day and I only work the 8th
and I get home before you, I'm going to make, I'm going to, I'm
going to show you my appreciation.
By cooking you. Know what I'm saying?
I'm I'm. I'm going to oh wow.
I'm here. I got the keys to your
apartment. I'll throw down.
I'll go to the grocery store. I'll cook.

(49:39):
So when you come home and and I and I and I'll attest to this
Romeo my Co host husband he doesn't work.
He's a he's a he's a retired Navy veteran.
Marianne wakes up ass crack in the morning.
The sun's not even up, but you want to know who wakes up
before. Him before her.

(50:01):
Her husband making breakfast andI could hear him from the other
hall. The the you've been to the House
of Kai. I can hear him clacking and and
then like he makes her breakfast.
He makes her dinner. He's made me and Jonathan
breakfast. Hey guys.
I made you guys breakfast. He he he calls himself the House

(50:23):
bitch and and and he drives a hedrives a Lexus.
Hey Jordan, what was what was the last thing you cooked in
your household for your wife andkids?
Macaroni and teeth in a box. Oh, box.
What? No, no.
What did you? Say what was the?

(50:43):
Master, who cooked in your household?
What? Now?
Let me hear that show. What was the last thing you
cooked for your wife and kids? Yeah, it was either probably
broccoli in the oven or literally like a little
queenies, which is like the organic macaroni and cheese in a
box. Where's the protein now?
Where's the? My wife is the lead, the lead

(51:04):
cook in our family. Thank you very much.
I'm the support role in that operation.
Because of that and the respect that I have for Sakai, I will
not delete. I will keep you on the show now.
Hello, Jessica. Jessica, Hello there.
Welcome to the show. Thanks.

(51:26):
For having me an hour late, I'm.So glad you're here because.
We have a. Question for you.
We were talking about we were talking about online dating
earlier and the fact that you'rehere.
This is no longer a sausage fest.
What do women look for in a gentleman?
Now before you answer that question, my brother and I weep

(51:49):
and and even Jordan, we can't. We threw out stability.
What was the other thing that we?
Threw out Sakai protection. Confidence.
Oh, and confidence. Jordan, what'd you throw in?
The most important one, of course?
Commitment. Oh yeah, yeah.
I think you've got. Anything.

(52:13):
Oh, I only said one. Online expert dated through
Twitter, if that counts. How do you date through Twitter?
That's possible. People DM you and yeah.
They just slide up in the DMS. On the first call, gross.
But in general then in general like if you're what do what do

(52:38):
what do women want. We're trying to figure out what
do you want, What are you looking for in a in a fella that
you might want to spend the restof your life with, Present
company excluded. Just to be real person, you
know, not to be somebody that you're not.
So I want to be with somebody that is themselves and don't

(53:00):
want to change per southeast. So you know, truthful, being
honest, outgoing for me can't and I have to have a JUOB just
to get with me. Was that who was saying that?
So, so, so, Jessica, we've triedall this.
What are we missing? It's it's a hit or miss out

(53:23):
there. Online.
Online dating like a lot of people go on there just to screw
around to be honest. But there are success stories
from it. I don't know to be honest.
I I'm not an expert. I don't online date.
I'm scared. No.
No. No, no.
Forget online dating though. But like, what do you look for
just in general? Oh, just in general.

(53:45):
I mean it looks obviously. Hey, hey.
Looks, obviously, but no. A good head on your shoulders,
basically just somebody that's really confident in their in
themselves, no matter you know, where their statue is, and just
somebody that's genuine and honest and real.

(54:09):
And for me, it's spontaneous. And it's for me, it's it's, you
know, just not what's the word, being too comfortable, stagnant,
you know, want to play video games and not work, I mean.
Complacent. Yeah, yeah.

(54:32):
Gotta go head it. Get on your head.
Head on your shoulders. But what am I missing?
So if you need weirdos, narcissistic women, yeah, run.
Fast I. Don't know what you're.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
You elaborate more on the weirdos.

(54:52):
The weirdos are fine. I'm a weirdo, I can say.
Everybody's weird. Everybody's weird in their own
way, so. Great.
I mean, I think she pretty much caught everything on the, you
know, on the nail and the hammeror whatnot.
I'm just what I'm just trying towrap my head around is like, you
know, somebody sliding into yourTwitter DM, like do you like

(55:15):
them because they have like a a,a witty.
Tweet. You know what I mean?
I didn't even know you because. Like slide in the.
Twitter DM Like I said, I think I'm doing this all wrong because
you can learn a lot from a person based on a on a Twitter,
you know, on a tweet, you know. Back in the days it was me, I
only got on Twitter because of sports.
OK I. I loved football season.

(55:37):
So I would just dog my Dallas, you know, haters and and I know
a lot of people in the Dallas industry, in the football
industry. So it was all about football.
That's all it was. And in, you know, DMS come and
go but some of them were interesting and I've met, you
know, professional players and NFL player and I knew

(55:59):
immediately like OK, you know, II know he's in it for the fun of
it. So it's like, hey, I'm not, you
know, in a relationship, so why not have some fun?
But I never took them serious. They were.
They ended up either being friends or I don't even talk to
them anymore. So but nowadays, like, girls

(56:20):
wouldn't get DMS. It's like, delete, delete,
delete. Because it's just like, hey,
beautiful. Well, I have a name, you know,
it's not beautiful. It's Jessica.
So, yeah, that's a big turn off of me.
Like compliment is nice, but like saying, hey, beautiful,
like were you doing gorges? Like, no, no, I didn't catch my

(56:41):
attention. That makes sense.
Interesting. Jamal's taking notes over there.
Yeah. I'm not.
Thrilled. Jamal was some of the sod
stories earlier on. Now he's taking notes or
whatnot. OK, we see you, Jamal.
Mom, this is sob. Story, sob, story.
But he's like, oh, oh, I I, I I wanted to leave them or

(57:03):
whatever. I know you wear your heart on
your sleeve, man. Like, I know you became came out
of the same balls, kid. I know.
You hold on, hold on. With that, No.
With that being said, have I hadnow to answer your have I had my
heart broken before? Sure I have.
I I can tell you. I mean, yeah, I've had my heart.
The last relationship. No, I'm just like, oh, this this

(57:23):
was good for me. Like, I was just like, you know,
I wish the mistake that I made and I know a lot of us, whether
you're a man or woman, makes this mistake.
I thought that I could change certain aspects of her or coach
certain things out of her. I thought, I can do that.

(57:44):
And I'm just like, wait, we're in our third world.
She's late, in her late 30s. You can't do that.
A woman is going to be stuck in her ways.
Wait, no, no, no, no. Let's, let's stop that, right?
Because here's the thing, right?So I ran into relationship
problems where my my default would be I'm too old to change

(58:04):
or whatnot, right? And that is like such.
I want to admit it now, right? That is like the easiest fucking
cop out, right? So if I was to get into argument
right, with a significant other,this and that, it is much easier
for me to walk out the room and leave the situation and talk
about my feelings. Let's be real, it's kind of hard
for guys to talk about their feelings.
So let's just say we're getting in an argument.
I'm like, yo, I'm fucking out ofhere.

(58:25):
It's like, no, no, no, don't leave.
You know, I'm like, no, fuck this shit, I'm out of here,
right? It is so fucking easy to do
that, especially when you don't live with the person.
So when you really think about this, with this trend that I
have going, I'll admit, I'll admit my faults, right?
With this trend that I have going on, I'm going to be
fucking single till the day I fucking die.
Because if you cannot face your fears, if you cannot face that,

(58:46):
right. So for you to say that I know
women aren't in the game, to saylike, oh, you know, I'm trying
to change this like a build a bitch type shit, you know what I
mean? What they're trying to do?
Is. It's like I'm like the, Jordan
said. Earlier on, Jordan talked about
commitment, right? And what commitment comes
sacrifice and with sacrifice comes being vulnerable.
And to do that you have to talk without no dialogue.

(59:09):
How the fuck are you going to change her?
So the reason that you you thinkthat oh, I can't change her,
she's too old. I used to be like that.
I parts of me is still fucking like that.
Matter of fact, I am still like that.
So I think that's the easiest cop out for somebody's.
I'm too old to change. How do I know?
Because I use that. Now that that's a good point
you're making because a lot of people do get stuck in their

(59:33):
ways, whether it's work wise, whether it's relationship wise,
whether it's they're attached tosomething to their own selves,
yeah, I can see that. But if you meet a person and
they're very open minded, you know they're willing to try
everything, anything, go travel wherever, do crazy stuff.

(59:56):
Somebody that is open minded is not going to be stuck in their
ways. And if somebody would loves you
not that like I would like OK like I prefer let's say you know
somebody not I don't know I've just thrown something out there
pass gas in front of me and I you know that's that's it's

(01:00:17):
relevant you know. But it happens S happens So you
just I just feel like with the stuck in your waist that's a
easy cop out at work. I hear that all the time like,
oh, I'm going to be here foreverbecause I don't want to try new
things because I am a boring person and you know, I think I'm

(01:00:37):
going to have this job forever, which it doesn't happen because
you get laid off after 15 years experience.
But but yeah, no, that's a big cop out.
Like if immediately you run intosomebody, I'm stuck in their
ways and bye to. Me.
I'm sorry. Let me ask.

(01:00:57):
You this. It's not in a good way though,
meaning like you do good things.Let's let's ask the the person
who's actually in a very loving relationship, marriage.
I'm sorry Jordan, let me ask youthis.
And in your relationship in the many years you've been with your
significant other, did you ever give us an example of something

(01:01:22):
that you had to do as far as compromising to strengthen the
relationship? Like what did you have to
change? You know, like well.
As, I mean, as your family grows, it could be literally a
matter of space, you know? So like, before we had kids, I

(01:01:45):
had literally a whole room that was like my room, right?
And then once the first kids came, it was like that room.
I moved in upstairs to the safe space upstairs and then when the
second kid came, it was like up towards that in the garage.
You're now in the garage, right?I'm like, I'm over here looking
at closets like this walk in closet.
Like can I turn that into like ashield spot?

(01:02:06):
Because I'm an introvert and I Ilike, I like alone time and I
need alone time. So.
So at a basic level of that, youknow, there's there's obviously,
you know a time thing. Again, as an introvert, I value
my time. And you know, a lot of times
when I get done with work, I work with people all day.

(01:02:26):
I don't want to hear necessarilythe gossip of her day.
You know, with my wife is an extrovert, so she needs to kind
of download, particularly if she's working from home, you
know. So I realized that that that's
something that she needs. And you know, over the years we
worked it out. It was a little rough in the
beginning because I was a littlerough in the beginning.
I was still learning about myself where I'd be like I'd be

(01:02:48):
like that and I just stop talking.
Just going to need some class, you know.
Now like I really don't need to say anything I can because
through meditation and mindfulness and different
different things like that, I can manage the impact of others
energy on myself. Right.
So I'm not depleted that much when I get home where I'm like
oh I got to go shell away. Of course I still yearn to.

(01:03:11):
So that is probably like the hardest thing if I would say is
like that they're still. I feel very selfish at times
because I do want to be alone, even though I love both my boys
and my wife and my life. But I do want to just squirrel
away and not have to talk to anybody for a while, you know,
But everyone it faces, you know,these kind of challenges and
these micro kinds of things thathappen on a day-to-day basis.

(01:03:34):
It may not be a big thing like, you know, oh, I gave up my dream
of playing pro baseball or, you know, something like that, which
is not me. But here's that example.
It may not always be a big thing, right?
It's these small little things that you have to do day in and
day out, and that's where the commitment comes in, right?
I mean, you just don't be a gooddad or good husband one day.
It's through a time of proving yourself as a person that you

(01:03:58):
know, I'm saying that you're going to show up to be that
thing you know, whether it's a leader or a leader in your job
or whatever it may be. I mean that's a good point that
he. That's definitely a good point
that he has there. So when he was talking about,
you know, being an introvert need to decompress and whatnot
and you know, not being bombarded, you know, with, you
know, I guess the extrovert, youknow.

(01:04:20):
Wife, right. Yes.
Give him a round of applause forthe extrovert.
Wife. Right.
So he so he talks about with meditation, you know, and
mindfulness. Right.
And it just makes me think how Iwould go into fight or flight
mode, you know, to where it's just like, you know, I'm
confronted, right? So I got two, it's only like 2
options in my head. I could either argue or I could

(01:04:42):
bounce right. But you know when he's talking
about through like mindfulness and really like trying to put
yourself in the other persons shoes and trying to kind of look
at look at it through their eyesor whatnot, I think that
approach would probably help me a lot more than running and
leaving. Because when I'm running and
leaving in my car, I'm fucking stewing, you know?
I'm like, yo, fuck this shit, who the fuck she thinks she is,
blah, blah blah to the point to where it's not really it's it,

(01:05:04):
it it just doesn't work for me, you know?
And it and the reason it feels comfortable is because it's my
default setting. But also Sakai if you're running
away. Again I don't like to use that
term. If you're fleeing, if you're
trying to like because the reason why you're leaving is
you're trying to figure out shityourself and you can't do it in

(01:05:27):
front of this person I figure. But at the same time you're if
you you're trying to learn more about yourself you know what I'm
saying and but I feel like if you if you stay there and you
within the confrontation, communication is very important.
And I know something like you just said earlier guys don't

(01:05:49):
like talking about their feelings and you're right.
I'm one of those guys that sometimes don't like talking
about my feelings. But I feel like if you show some
kind of vulnerability it helps with the relationship.
Oh you know what We we we're hitting a snag.
He is willing to listen to what I'm saying and hopefully adjust

(01:06:10):
to the situation and hopefully your significant other will
adjust to the situation. Like Jordan just said, it's all
about, I mean, we we talk about committing, you know what I'm
saying? And like I just said earlier,
how are you in crisis again? If if I'm doing something that
you don't like, how are you? If if for instance, my last two

(01:06:33):
ex girlfriends ago, one thing she hated that I did, I brushed
my I would walk around her apartment and brush my teeth
before going to work. She hated that.
So she would tell me, hey, feel free to stay in the bathroom and
brush your teeth. She was like, it's weird that
you walk around brushing your teeth in the kitchen, in the

(01:06:55):
room, in the living room. She was like, just just stay in
one place and do it. And I it was easy for me to be
like, well, this is how I, you know, kind of get the blood
running. And I was like, all right, if
that's what you want, fine. So it's kind of, it's kind of
easy though, you know what I mean?
It's like. What it's But what I'm saying is

(01:07:16):
that's me kind of stuck in my way.
I even do it like every morning I'll wake up.
I'll walk around brushing my teeth.
I don't stay in one place and brush my teeth.
I don't know why. It's just a habit.
But when we talked about it and she was like, you know what?
I find it weird that you brush your teeth in the living room
looking out the window. You know what I'm saying?

(01:07:37):
Kind. Of Brush your teeth.
I know, And mind you, she doesn't have to work till like,
the night. So I'm already up and about,
probably disrupting her sleep. So she's like, hey, look, I'm
sleeping. You're walking around like you
know how the cats do the zoomiesat like 3:00 in the morning.
I'm like that, except for I think I'm being quiet.
But I'm not. You know what I'm saying?

(01:07:59):
I have like the little, the slowZoomy thing.
So. So that was one of those things
where it's like OK, this is obviously she's firm about me
and and and we had the conversation once.
Two days later I did it again and she was like you're doing
that thing that we talked about again, Jamal.
Like you're you're walking around brushing your teeth.

(01:08:21):
So I ended up having to. So I stopped doing it.
You know, just because it's like, you know, what if it
bothers you that much, if it's apain in the ass that much.
And even though again, I'm at the time 39 stuck in my ways,
I'll do what I can to change it.Just to make just to just to
show you that I could change it's.

(01:08:41):
And let. Me Well.
That's a big. I'm sorry, I mean the country.
I just want to say one thing that's a big change.
Brushing your teeth in the bathroom.
I mean, that's why. Yeah.
I just want you to congratulate you for that.
You guys are Dicks. Thank you.
You guys are assholes, but thankyou.
Yeah, that's a little weird of and I mean, we all have our

(01:09:03):
perks, but I mean our little things that bother us.
But to your defense, when you get in an argument and you don't
want to stay in an argument because he's going in circles,
you flee, right? Yes.
OK, yeah, exactly. Point to me because I am that

(01:09:23):
person. I was that person.
I was that person. And it took me years to realize
because I was fleeing is becauseI was trying to process what was
going on or or shimmer down the like the the fight, you know,

(01:09:44):
not continue. And also fleeing because I
didn't want to argue anymore. So it was it was different
things. But fleeing isn't helping.
But if you need a moment, you have to be honest, you have to
say, hey, I'm going to go to thebathroom and and and chill out
for about 10 minutes. Can you just, you know leave me

(01:10:04):
alone for a little bit and then just go back to talking.
So I I've completely, I understand, I've been there for
six years of fleeing and and it just caused more problems.
But if I could ask a question, because it seems like once you
flee, you come back and you havedialogue.

(01:10:26):
So once I flee, since I don't live with this, I don't live
with the person. I live alone.
I flee to my place. And when I'm driving, right,
yeah, I'm kind of decompressing it in my head thinking about
what went wrong or whatever. But I never follow up because
there is some guilt towards like, oh, I just went from zero
to 60 and I just said threw my hands up, I'm out of here or
whatnot. But it's almost like I try to

(01:10:48):
act like when I meet up, you know, like nothing happened, you
know? And when it's nothing happened,
it goes to become unresolved issues.
It's almost like, oh, So what happened yesterday?
You just blown the fuck up and leave and like, it never
happened. And when you start getting into
a cycle of that or what not, youknow, at least in your
situation, you know, like, hey, let me go into the bathroom.
I need 10 minutes or whatnot. You know, you decompress a

(01:11:09):
little bit. You go out, then you re engage
the conversation, which in the hopes it's all wrapped up and
resolved. By the time you go to sleep, I'm
my head's hitting the pillow pissed off.
You know what I mean when I wakeup, wake up refreshed, black it
out like it never even fucking happened.
Because I don't want to readdress that situation because
I'm afraid to A admit my wrongdoing in the situation, B

(01:11:31):
have to be vulnerable in that situation, and C like, you know,
I almost have to admit that I'm wrong.
Not that I'm afraid to admit I'mwrong, but when you admit when I
have to admit wrong in that situation, it almost feels like
a a character flaw, a personality, you know, trait
that's shitty. Really, You think?
I mean obviously that's the way I'm not obviously, but.

(01:11:52):
No, no, no. But I think here's.
I think that. First of all, men, because
you're a man if you admit that you're wrong.
First of all, that solves most of your problems right there.
Because The thing is, the fact that you're willing to admit,
hey, I fucked up somewhere in this relationship, that's the

(01:12:17):
first step right there is admitting that you're wrong.
Now the second step would be, hey, how do we how do we make
sure that we don't get to this point again?
What do we have to do? Community.
And again, communication and relationships.
That's the important part. You know what I'm saying?
Sometimes you will know once youstart communicating and again in

(01:12:41):
a time of crisis, that's going to determine whether that's a
woman or a man you marry or if you're just like, OK, apparently
we're at at an impasse where we're never going to get this
part resolved. Now one of two things can
happen. That relationship dissolves and

(01:13:03):
you guys go your separate ways or you're like, you know what I
now learned? That this is a button that I
cannot push with this person or or or vice versa and we can
compromise. You know what I'm saying?
What what? What with what Zakai said
earlier. You know, hey, I just get in my

(01:13:25):
car and drive away, OK? But no matter what women, one
thing that I think all of us know, and Jordan, you could
probably attest to this, they don't forget.
We have a mom who reminds me andSakai of all the things that
we've done. That was terrible, that we

(01:13:46):
thought we forgot. OK, we we don't forget.
Women do not forget. Shit, they don't.
We forget. What we did 5 seconds ago, but
we don't forget a freaking fly over a damn toothpaste.
Toothbrush. Yeah, yeah.
So think about it. So in Sakai, in Sakai's

(01:14:07):
scenario, he gets into a situation where it's a bit of a
jam. He gets into a sky and he drives
off and, and, and, or, or he goes to bed upset.
Like one thing you don't want todo is go to bed upset because it
disrupts the sleep. You know what I'm saying?
There's always a saying what? Don't go to bed angry.
Don't don't let the sun go down on your anger.

(01:14:28):
That's. Oh, I sleep like a baby.
I'm. So used to it, I'm so used to
it. I sleep like a baby now.
Like this? Like you know this is built in.
It's it's it's A and it also could be an introvert side of
you. You know because I'm still
working on my you know situationto where I'm not fleeing I've

(01:14:53):
and and and nobody wants to constantly be like OK let's talk
about our emotions let's let's sit down and you know where did
we go wrong here and like you know you you have to get to that
point but not every single time you know it it it I just if I
can't come to an agreement I'll be like OK we have to disagree

(01:15:15):
to agree to disagree and. That's allowed.
Yes, that's allowed to. But it's just like, you know I
it's weird because I, I I'll when every time I do a comedy
show and I meet a couple, 9 times out of 10 oh, he does this

(01:15:36):
thing that annoys me and I'm like pray tell pray tell you're
married to this gentleman. He does this thing.
I mean because. There's a thing.
There's no such. Thing as a perfect relationship.
I think we all know that otherwise we'd still be well me
and Sakai would still be in relationships between me.
Sakai I think half of us are notin relationship and again and I

(01:15:58):
say this and say this again I know how my brother is so and
and Sakai, I'm going to I'm going to pass As much.
I take the compliment. Yes I did you date some some
knockouts bro. Sometimes I will see.
I'm like OK so you can stop me. I'm going to say this and feel

(01:16:23):
free to stop me because I don't want to book.
Whenever I would come into town and do a comedy show at the Ren
Civic Theatre, should I stop or can I continue?
Continue. OK, not just me, but the the
manager. Because again, everybody knows
you at the Rand Civic Theatre. You could walk.
Into the Rand Civic Theatre and people.

(01:16:43):
Would be like, oh, that's Jamal's brother.
He's good. But there's been times where me
and Bill will be like time in a conversation and I'll mention Oh
yeah, my brother's going to be coming in.
Make sure that you know he he's,you know, he'll get in and it
would be like, oh, I wonder who he's going to be bringing with
him. You have this reputation at the

(01:17:05):
Renton Civic Theatre where you will just and nine times out of
10, Bill will come up to me be like, yo, did you see the person
that's a that your brother is sitting next to him Like, yeah,
I'm like, thank God he, you know, my mom would be happy if
they end up having kids. My mom doesn't want any other
grandchildren. She stresses that a lot.
But you are able you you do pretty damn well for yourself.

(01:17:31):
And I'm just like, how did this happen?
I'm like, you know, But then again, we have the same genes.
We have the same parents. OK, so as much as that is a
compliment, as much as it's not a compliment because I don't
have none of them with me right now, you know what I mean?
So, but be that as it may that you have the capability.

(01:17:52):
You know what I'm saying? I mean again it's you got, I
mean hey, you got to break a fewlegs in order to make an oblet.
But you know, I think now that sounds.
Abusive. You got, you got to give.
Some ladies, a black guy, No, never mind.
Anyway. But what I say this to say, this

(01:18:15):
being that you and I, I kind of feel like based on what you're
telling me, I kind of feel like you are understanding yourself
more. You're understanding that and
again, like, but I I I'm not. I'm not saying this, just, you
know, you have dated some very beautiful I've talked to your
girlfriends. We've.

(01:18:35):
Jordan and I have spent time with your girlfriend.
Well with your girlfriend. With your girlfriend and and and
and and and I am so glad that you're able to do like, again.
The Vegas trip was, I was like, oh, you guys get married.
Like, that's just the way that Ilook at it.

(01:18:58):
I thought you guys were going tofind a Chapel in Vegas.
And then you guys would show me and Jordan, me and Jordan some
rings, you know, you know, but but I think at the end of the
day, sometimes we just got to find ourselves.
No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that again.

(01:19:18):
Whatever the situation is again,we're family.
You, me, Jordan, we're we're allfamily here at the end of the
day. Because again, when you told me
the situation, I never asked. I was like, you know what?
OK. I never asked.
I never preached. I never.
I figured, you know what? If all goes well, you guys will

(01:19:41):
handle your issues, whatever it is.
I never asked because I figured,you know what?
You and I, we're a year and a half apart from each.
Other. I actually appreciate that.
I just want you to let you know,I actually do.
I actually do appreciate that. No, I did.
And not for nothing it did. I was like, wow, really?
But I was like, you know what? I'm not going to ask because I

(01:20:04):
don't know, maybe you and mom had this discussion.
And before I even continue, mom does not listen to this podcast.
But the fact that you're on it, I think she'll actually listen.
The fact that. You and Jordan are on it.
I think this. Oh, wow.
You and your brother did a podcast.
I'm like, yeah, of course. So, Mom, if you're listening.

(01:20:24):
What up, yo? I kind of feel like again and I
still don't know the situation and I I'm not really trying to
put your business out there likethat.
But whatever it is I'm I'm really hoping that it it does
get resolved because I I the first thing when I heard about
it was the was the Vegas trip and how you know nausea and her

(01:20:46):
got along and how she took care of her and I should the Vegas
trip if anything should have brought us all together.
Boy, how much are you drinking? This boy just went straight on
into my business. How much do?
You see that cup? No.
I'm happy. So I haven't.
I haven't. I haven't drank much.

(01:21:06):
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm very, I'm very coherent.
Oh, not you can fuck cozy. Up in my business.
And again, like I said, I wasn'ttrying to put it out there like
that but I'm I'm just trying to say like you know the Vegas
first of all the Vegas trip was was fucking amazing.
So amazing. Thank, Thank you.
You know what 40th birthday party.

(01:21:28):
Yeah, and and the fact that and and on top of that, this was the
first time I've met who I'm going to just say your brother
Jordan, you know what I'm saying?
And and I get it. You know what I'm saying?
I get the relationship between you guys.
I get the bond. I get all of that.
And not for nothing. Jordan, you you are such an

(01:21:49):
amazing dude. I I'm very, you know what I feel
like if you end up getting married, I want to be the best
man at Giles wedding or or whatever.
No, you guys are. I'm being silly.
You guys are. I'm really glad to have met you
and you're very you're very like, down to earth, dude.

(01:22:09):
I get it. You know what I'm saying?
Thank you, thank you. Thank you, I mean.
If I could just say something orwhat not.
Like, you know, back in the dayswhen me and Jordan used to know
each other, like we, we, we wereyoung knuckleheads, right?
And being young knuckleheads andwhatnot, you know, you're you're
into stupid shit. You're doing stupid shit and
this and that. So when I talk about like growth
and maturity and this and that or whatnot, you know, so when

(01:22:32):
people ask me like who, you know, who who inspires change in
your life, you know what I mean?In which you know, there's been,
you know, a few job interviews where, you know, I'm working
with the community or whatnot, you know, and they what they ask
you like what inspired changes and this and that or whatever.
And I could honestly say, you know, I mean like Jordan or
whatnot. Because when you see somebody
change for the good and that change kind of like trickles off

(01:22:54):
into you because like I said earlier on, you know, a lot of
people just have to grow out their friends, grow out of their
friend group because it's either, you know, bullshit this,
that or whatever. You know, the older you get, the
more you need to mature or whatnot.
So when you have a friend that'slike you know well grounded you
know, I mean you know he he introduces like you know some

(01:23:15):
spaced out shit some New age stuff to which I was very very
against it. Like it was like soul groups and
the love of traction and the lawof this and that or whatever.
Like you know being very like inmy ways and hard headed or what
and I don't like yo what kind ofspaced out shit are you trying
to you know what I mean. But it's like when you like the,

(01:23:36):
the books he offers to offers towards me, the messages he sent
to me as far as like, you know, check out this YouTube video,
check out that YouTube video, whatnot.
And it it's kind of like eye opening or whatnot, you know,
like when I told him I did my first sound bath, right.
You know the sound bath, I'm notsure familiar with the sound
bath. They hit the bowl and it's like,
so it's pretty much like audio noise, not really audio, but you

(01:23:59):
know, like but it it it relaxes you, you know, they sage the
air. It's almost like a whole
experience or whatnot, right. So when I when I experience
something like that so I'm like OK, so this is what he's talking
about with meditation and this and that or whatnot to the point
to where I felt myself being very calm, being very relaxed.
And then after the meditation orwhatnot you go around meeting

(01:24:22):
the people whatnot. And these people are very
grounded. And you know that's sort of like
you know, spirituality not in the sense of like you know your
Christianity and this and that or whatever, but just like
harmonizing with the environmentand then you know just the
nature and just the, you know just the the complex, you know
where complex beings or whatnot.So it really got me grounded in

(01:24:43):
certain areas because I mean, I have, you know, I'm open to
admit that I have, you know, metwith psychiatrist counselors in
the past and they, you know, they they, they said I was like
a Ferrari. I go from zero to 60, you know,
with my emotions, You know what I mean?
Jamal, you know this, you know, I mean, I flipped the fuck out
in plenty of occasions in the past.
He says I need to be like a a Volkswagen Beetle, you know,

(01:25:04):
he's like, you know how a Volkswagen Beetle.
When it gets on the on ramp, it takes like 2 minutes to go from
zero to 60. That's what you need to be like.
Just be on the element that goesfrom zero to 60 in eight
seconds. I I mean, being Puerto Rican,
I've gone zero to 10 like that. But it's it does take a lot

(01:25:26):
though, because meditation. Yoga started 2004.
Not showing my age, but it really did change me from an
introvert to introvert extrovertinto finding peace and harmony
and working and it can really hard job and dealing with

(01:25:50):
relationship issues. I'm glad I joined yoga when I
did because I learned a lot of meditation and breathing and
also also recently you know personal development like he was
saying you know like Jim Rome and and and throwing these
quotes out and and and you know how to win influence and how to

(01:26:12):
win friends and influence. I'm saying it right.
I'm saying it wrong but reading all those books like you really
rogue minded and you're really aware of everything and and
maybe you need to change some things about you know your ways
and it's not something in a bad way.
It's just like you want to be a better person, right?

(01:26:34):
So why not try to be a better person?
So what gravitated you towards meditation or whatnot?
Because I've always been like ohthis is some New Age shit.
I got to control of my emotion and this and that.
What gravitate? It was a two-part question.
What gravitated you towards likemeditation and yoga and how do
you implement that in your dailylife?

(01:26:55):
Well, Long story short, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid
arthritis so I couldn't work outand my doctor recommended yoga
and I was like, OK, whatever. It was hard as F and I I focused

(01:27:19):
more on the hardness and I mean I I ran track and field for like
7 years and I never stretched any of those muscles before in
my life. So I was like, Oh my God, screw
this. And my friend was like, no, no,
no, come back. I went to another session and it
was like the serenity of it. She I actually mimicked my
stylings of of teaching because of her.

(01:27:44):
And then just I grew up passion for it because it was changing
me mentally, physically, spiritually meaning like as in
spiritually as in like and when I became a teacher I would
create my own music from my own style like freestyle.
OK like today I feel like doing you know this hatha yoga vinyasa

(01:28:07):
flow and I'll put this you know death cat for cutie in or I'll
do yoga music or I would do mixes and and and Long story
short doing I had a passion and obsession for it because of the
way it was making me feel and itwas also an escape from reality

(01:28:28):
if that makes sense. So I I didn't look at it as like
something like oh it's be one with the tree.
No, I'd run out of class, but I was.
I was spiritually, but not to that point.
But it it just, it was just an obsession and a passion of mine.

(01:28:50):
I love. I love it.
I love what it did for me. And I love how it changed me and
calmed me down a lot and it changed me from being introvert
to introvert extrovert to now extrovert introvert.
You know, I never thought I would be a freaking extrovert
and talk to everybody in network.

(01:29:10):
I would run and hide if somebodyknocked on my door.
I was that introvert. So yeah, people change and you
know, but for, for yoga, meditation, it's just so
relaxing and it takes you to a place where you zone out and you
stuff just comes to you, if thatmakes sense.

(01:29:32):
So it it takes you have to take belief and that's the first
step. It's just belief and it it goes
from there. So yeah, it's, it's, it's it's a
passion of mine. So coming, coming into a
meditation, it's it's good. But yeah, I'm still working on

(01:29:55):
fleeing. You know, it It's hard.
It's really, really hard once you're not arguing.
I understand that. Mark, can you change the setting
back? Yeah, I can't see you guys
anymore. Yeah, Mark, can you change that
setting back? Oh, wow.
That affects you. OK.
Yeah. Yeah, it affects everybody.
If it's not broke, don't fix it,buddy.

(01:30:16):
Oh. Fair enough.
My bad. I thought I did something when I
got dropped off. Yeah, I thought I did something
too. I thought he was trying to tell
us it's time over or game over. We're we're we're.
Good on climb. We're back.
You know you're drinking so much.
You're starting to be creative. Let's stop with the creative
shit and put it back to the way it was.

(01:30:39):
OK, it it's back. So Sakai, like knowing just
hearing your brother's story about you and and women, hey,
you attract, you know, women that are beautiful, but not all
women because there's, you know,not all women are like that.
Like like they're not they're not perfect.

(01:31:00):
But I'm just saying, like, just because, yeah, you you meet a
beautiful woman, doesn't mean they're beautiful on the inside.
You know, there's so many narcissistic women out here.
Like, drives me crazy how mind games, the F games with your
mind. And no, well, we don't play

(01:31:20):
that. Change the settings.
What the heck? You have to.
You have to, You have to. You have to do it on your own
because he fucked it up. So you have to go in your view
and put it back to grid view. That's what I did.
That's what you did. So yeah, hit gridview.
Jamal, once you put that in, what are you drinking, by the

(01:31:41):
way? I'm not.
I want to know the brand. And that's the brand he says,
tells you a lot about his personality.
What's the brand you're drinking?
What is that? Oh, jeez, He got the.
He got the VSOP as if he was doing something $2.00 more.
That's what's up. That's a classy drinker, by the
way. If you didn't know, I'm doing
dry. January, So you know, when I
really look at him drinking. That.

(01:32:01):
Shit. It just makes me, like, even
more happy that I don't drink your classic the fuck up buddy.
Good for you. But you know what?
Some of us don't do Facebook fads.
OK, hey, hey. But here's The funny thing.
Facebook doesn't know I'm doing a dry January.
Oh, good for you know what? Good for you.
So how is it a Facebook? Yeah, exactly.
You know what I mean with this you.

(01:32:21):
Want to know why you're one of the smart ones?
Because we talked about this last week and we shit it on
everybody who's like, oh, you'redoing a no nut November, go fuck
yourself. Nobody's.
Oh no. Let.
Me break it down. Let me break.
Let me break it down even more. Oh, it's no, it's it's it's it's
no. Alcohol, right?
January. No, marijuana.

(01:32:43):
What month is that? No.
This still? January.
Still no January. OK.
Hey, hey, listen, I'm not done. I'm not done.
Semen retention. You don't know what that is.
But it's not like me. Semen retention, right?
No, no sodas, no cap, no rock stars.
Because I used to drink a lot ofrock stars or whatnot, right?

(01:33:06):
So I compiled and also getting my workout on.
So I compiled the most difficultthings that I could do right to
put me through. Not.
Granted, it's been hard. I've flopped on a little bit of
it, but there's two things I have not flopped on and it is
the alcohol and the marijuana. OK, so the semen part, she's.

(01:33:27):
Building back up. She's building back up.
Don't worry guys, it's building back up.
I slipped a few times. You're going to build the.
Next girl you have sex with justso you know she's going to die.
Oh. Yeah, she's.
Going to die. They're going to.
You're going to you. Are going to have a.
Lot You're going to have a lot to explain to a District
Attorney in Seattle. They're going to be like we

(01:33:53):
found this girl dead in your bed.
Please explain. So when I'm talking about, so
when I'm talking about like the first when I was telling you
like the first week I was like so angry.
That goes like fuck around and find out shit like it was, you
know what I mean? But once you get past a certain
time, but like I would say aboutabout 7 the 8th day if you don't
even notice it anymore. Yeah, 7 to 14 days to create a

(01:34:15):
habit and then 21 days to stick to that habit.
So you did really you you don't.I mean it's the 26th of
November, January so. Well, his birthday's in a few
days too. Let's not encourage.
I knew you was going to say that.
But I'm going to defy the odds. I'm going to defy the odds
because two things are going to happen, right, is either I'm not

(01:34:37):
going to drink or I'm going to be fucking shit faced, You know?
I mean. So but.
I I personally think. I personally think I'm going to,
you know, use my birthday to tryto reflect and do some, like,
you know, soul building and thisand that because, you know,
people automatically think, oh, it's my birthday, I'm going to
go out, I'm going to party, I'm going to drink, I'm going to do
this, I'm going to do that. But that is so tiresome, you

(01:34:59):
know, I mean, I've done that several times.
Matter of fact, I did it last year, you know, I mean.
I did it. The year before that or what
not, you know, I mean so I thinkwhen I, you know because like
even you know when Jordan's like, oh, oh, are you are you
going to keep going with this Are you going to keep going with
this Sir, can I keep going with this?
Yes I can. But on the flip side of the coin

(01:35:23):
or whatnot, like, you know, sometimes it feel good to like,
relax, you know, smoke a joint in this and that, drink a little
alcohol. But it really, I I've really
seen no benefit from it. Because here's the thing, if I
could just say one thing is sometimes when I used to get
flustered and anger or whatever,I'm like, I'll just take a
couple tokes to like, calm me down.
But that becomes such a coping mechanism to where it's just

(01:35:44):
like, oh, let's just say you're in an area where you cannot do
that. Then how are you going to react?
It's like that state dependent learning.
Like, oh, I don't really know how to relax when I take a sip
or you remember like you, oh, I get off of work.
I crack me open the beer. I watch a little TV.
Now when I get off work, I try to hit the gym, You know, I
mean, I log all my workouts. You know, Jordan will try to

(01:36:04):
hold me accountable like, oh, oh, you're not hitting the gym.
I'm like, boy, I'm at the gym right now, you know, I mean, so
when you have people holding youaccountable and whatnot, you
know what I mean? And you know, and he even said,
like, oh, you seem more on it, You know what I mean?
Like when I'm talking and explaining stuff, you know, I'm
not getting foggy brained or this and that or whatever, you
know. So, you know, I would, I would,
I would, I would tell you Jamal,to to, you know, hop on this

(01:36:27):
challenge, but you just just can't leave that VSOP alone.
Oh dude. This I I go to the gym.
The reason why I'm drinking now?It's First of all, it's the
weekend. You know, that's the same
bullshit I'm talking about because.
It's the weekend. Allow me to finish.
Allow me to finish. OK.
I no longer drink during the week.

(01:36:48):
I used to drink every day. You know how my drinking habits
was Akai? Like, you know?
I know. I stopped drinking during the
week because, number one, I havea job that I really, really
enjoy doing and I don't want to be fucked up or hungover at my
job because I. Was drinking that much?
Pretend that you didn't say that, but.

(01:37:09):
I I know, Jamal, I I can. Yeah, yeah, I I was drinking a
lot. So what I decided to do was
like, come to New Year, I I stopped drinking during the
week, even during the weekend, like even Dad was like, wow,
you're not like, we'll watch football.
You're not drinking? No, I kind of want to.
Because why? I drank a lot in December while

(01:37:31):
I was with in Seattle. I drank a lot.
The beers that you brought to mybirthday party from July, that
was still there in December of last year.
They're gone now, except for some of the wine that was still
there. I drank them all.
Me and well, Jonathan didn't drink them because anyway, I
drank a lot of them. So I was like, you know what?
When I go back to New York, I'm going to slow down on my drink

(01:37:52):
and I'm not going to drink during the week because it
doesn't make sense, me drinking and then being on the phone
slurring my words because I'm hungover.
It doesn't. Make sense?
Can I ask you a question? So, you know, even when I was
drinking or whatnot, I wasn't. I never had to worry about
waking up, being hungover and slurring my words.
So I got two questions. A like, how much was you really

(01:38:15):
drinking? And B if you don't, you don't
have to answer these questions. And B why were you drinking?
Are you a celebratory drinker? Is it because your girlfriend's
nephew? What?
Thanks. This bottle here was bigger than
this. Like Big and I would drink the
whole, and I would drink the whole thing in two days.

(01:38:37):
And may I ask why? Because I had a lot on my mind.
And the tolerance level was already.
I mean, yeah. And The thing is so when I came
back from the the the weekend that I spent in Seattle I
decided I'm going to cut back onmy drinking because and then and

(01:38:59):
some of the things that you had said in the past.
Well while I was in Seattle about about it and even you know
I don't like drinking in front of my niece.
So sometimes when and she was here yesterday I had like some
beer in the refrigerator but I didn't even drink it.
I was like, you know what, I'm glad she's here and and I

(01:39:21):
haven't seen her in a long time,so we got to kind of spend some
time with each other. But yeah, I I I did.
I I won't even be shy about it. I did have a drinking problem
and I don't like having it. I don't like using work as the
reason why I am drinking later on that night.
So I decided no matter how bad my day was, I was going to walk

(01:39:43):
past the liquor store, go home and drink coconut water or club
soda. Exactly right.
If I could ask just just one more thing or whatnot.
I mean, have you ever tried likebecause you said you had a lot
on your mind and have you ever thought about like, I don't
know, like meditation, yoga, youknow, as no Jessica has spoke on

(01:40:05):
it, Jordan does it or whatever, I'm dipping my toes in it or
whatever. Have you ever tried like other
methods to like reduce your stress outside of alcohol or
whatnot? Because you know.
Very good question. As far as the things that you
mentioned, I have not. I have not.
I thought I and again the 1st 2 1/2 weeks I didn't drink at all

(01:40:27):
and and not for nothing. I felt great.
I was like wow, I really have control of this.
And then, you know, like even now I was like, do you know what
I'm doing good. I, you know, I'll drink.
I usually drink during the weekends.
I'm actually actually believe itor not, I'm working on a new
screenplay so usually when I'm writing I don't like drinking

(01:40:48):
while I'm writing. So usually I'll just do riding.
This right here will probably sit for another couple of weeks
before I even revisit it. Well, Super Bowl.
Come Super Bowl when the Ravens and 49ers are playing, I'll
probably drink during that. But I'm going to.
I'm trying to cut back. Excuse me?

(01:41:09):
No. Kansas City.
Huh. Hey look, I I know where the
money is. I know I've been watching.
I've watched. Yeah, not Kansas City,
unfortunately, because I've beenwatching them play and it's like
they're not going to beat the. They're not going to beat the
Ravens. But nonetheless, I figure I
figured to answer your question,Sakai, yeah, I, I, I'm actually

(01:41:33):
trying to not drink as much as Idid before because I know what
that's going to lead to. And you know when your niece is
telling you that, hey uncle, you're you're drinking a lot or
you drink so much alcohol, that's a that's a wake up call.
It came to that point. Yeah, when somebody tells you.

(01:41:56):
When somebody tells you. For real?
Like, yeah, What's going on withyour drinking?
When somebody that's eight yearsold, nine years old is telling
you that's. When you know you have a fuck.
And the convenience. That's how you know you have.
Yeah, exactly. That's how you know you have a
problem. The convenience store clerk
tells you like you just bought abottle of wine, yeah.

(01:42:19):
Tell them mine is damn business.I like, I like that you think
that my that the liquor store cares.
They're like, oh, we have your picture, like, right.
Thank you. Come again?
Yeah. Thank you.
Come again? I I do remember that because,
Jordan, how long you've been sober for again in 15 years?

(01:42:43):
I do remember back in the 15 years.
He did not. Drink at all in Vegas.
Hell no, he doesn't drink. You never knew that.
I did not know that he doesn't. Drink.
I've been to Vegas for four daysand I I actually didn't have an
an ounce of drink and alcohol. And I yeah, I didn't drink.

(01:43:07):
And that was my 30th birthday when I should have been
drinking, but I actually didn't drink at all.
That's good considering Vegas isa drinking city.
Because remember when I told you, because I told you I had
the VIP, we had X amount of alcohol and we had to consume it
all. But Jordan doesn't drink,
meaning it's going to be more alcohol there.
And we gave a lot of alcohol away to like other people.

(01:43:29):
Because I remember like back in the days or whatever, like, you
know, we were talking about, youknow, going into the convenience
store and like, you know, hey, this and that or whatever,
right. So, you know, when they know
when you go to the bar, you know, we used to hang out at the
bar and they actually know your drink, you know, called Jim
Beam, man. You know, I mean, they know your
drink or whatnot, but you know, I I could.
See. You know, I, I, I I could

(01:43:51):
completely see just almost like breaking free from drinking.
Because I don't. I honestly don't miss it.
You know, and and here's the thing.
First of all it's good that you don't miss it.
The thing is what's the now? You know I drink to kind of like
relax or decompress and I feel like if I'm doing that few and

(01:44:12):
far in between that's good. But if you don't drink at all.
If you don't good for you, don'tlet it.
It's always good not for it to be like, you know, I have Co
workers. I'm like man, as soon as I go
home, I'm going to drink. I'm like, OK, obviously you're
having a bad day, but don't let people or a situation be the
reason that you drank. Yesterday we had such like a Oh

(01:44:35):
my God, it was so fucked. That was a cluster.
And they were like, yo, I'm going to go home and drink dude.
I walked past like 3 liquor stores and got home without
having to go inside. But I said today I was like, you
know what? You know, I'm going to do a
podcast, I'm going to have a couple of drinks, I'm going to
relax, but I'm not going to drink to get drunk in my own
home. I don't go out to bars and drink

(01:44:57):
and get because it's stupid. First of all, I'd rather I know
that I don't have to drive or I hop on a train, sleeping on the
train hoping somebody, somebody going through my pockets, you
know, while I'm passed out drunk.
Kind of contradicting yourself there because you're talking
about your Co workers getting stressed out, talking about I'm
going to go home and drink and then I asked you, why do you
drink? You say you got a lot on your

(01:45:18):
mind. No, no, that was in the past.
That was last year. You mean like you mean like
December last year? Like November, September,
October of last. Year, Yeah.
We're literally in the new men. So that's to me that's within
like a six month, three month. Four months but.
That's like, oh, I stopped drinking.
I haven't drank at all this year.

(01:45:38):
You're like, oh, we're two days until the New Year's.
What do you mean? You know what I mean like.
No, but I I'm, I'm drinking now because, you know, I'm not.
I'm not drinking because I'm stressed out or anything.
I can. I'm just drinking because I'm
like, it's the weekend I'm kind of letting loose.
But like, again, I'm at home, you know, I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not in a position where I'm

(01:46:00):
keeping myself vulnerable, you know what I'm saying?
So I'm not, you know? And and again, I'm doing a
podcast so I can't afford to getdrunk on my own podcast with
three member, you know, 3 guestson here.
That's not, that's not good. That's not good practically.
Fun. Hell yeah. yo-yo, I dare you

(01:46:21):
down that whole bottle right in front of us.
Oh. No, no.
See that? That's not going to happen.
Oh, wow. Yeah, Jamal would be.
I don't know. Yeah.
But I'm. I'm.
I'm proud of you because Jamal, like you've come a long way.
Especially, I don't know what you do, but you love your job.
What do you do? I'm a customer, sales Rep and

(01:46:43):
salesperson for a Canadian ran indoor hardware company.
OK. Yeah, this is very different
from delivering caskets to funeral homes, so.
Yeah, and God, that's. And then it's probably

(01:47:03):
contributes to your drinking, Drinking during that time too,
because we talked. A lot.
I drank a lot. I've seen so many dead bodies.
It's just, you know, it sucks because, like every time I would
see like a old woman and I wouldsometimes have to, like, work
around the caskets with the bodyin the casket.
So sometimes I would see an elderly woman.

(01:47:24):
I would think about my grandma. And it would just like make me
breakdown and just be like, I'll, I hop in a vehicle.
I'd just be like, you know, but I could.
The thing is, I could only have done that for so long.
And I'm just like, you know what?
I don't want to be doing that inmy 50s you know early late 40s
and all that. So the job that I got I kind of

(01:47:45):
went back to the job that I usedto do in Seattle and and I and I
and I've said this 1000 times. I feel I feel very valued there.
It's been a long time since I felt that way.
So and and believe it or not as stressful as this job is this
company, believe it or not I I Idrink less now.

(01:48:07):
Like with all that out the way II my boss, I I don't feel
micromanaged. The customers are weird.
I get dumbass questions all the time.
But nonetheless, I do feel for the first time in a long time
I've actually felt valued and I and I really like this company
very much. So I see great things happening

(01:48:29):
in the the months to come. But yeah, I I I just do that and
I learned a lot hinges and slides and sliding doors and
pocket doors and all that. So that's that's what I deal
with. Well, I I, I definitely, yeah.
Yeah, your value. And I definitely appreciate, you

(01:48:50):
know, your candidness and your openness and whatnot.
So I could call off that intervention I was about to have
with you so. Thank you, no.
No, well, no. You know, it's funny.
I I want to say this, Sakai and I I just want this to be known.
And I kind of feel like doing this podcast with you and we've
done, you and I we've had we've done some things.

(01:49:12):
We've done some things. But I will say this, this
podcast and I've been paying attention.
You I, I, I sense and again I'm going to also attest that this
comes from Jordan as well. But I kind of feel like you're
trying to you're you're you're really trying to find yourself.
You're trying to find peace within yourself.

(01:49:34):
Am I wrong about? Am I wrong about that?
No, no, you're right. You're right.
You're 100% right. Yeah.
I kind of feel like you're trying to find people because
The thing is like you're saying some things and I'm like, wow,
I've noticed this too. But the fact of you're like,
this is here's the issue that I'm having with myself.
Let me tell you something bro. It takes a real man, a real man

(01:49:59):
to to to to be able to say, here's my issues with this
situation, whether it's relationships, whether it's job,
whether, whatever it is, I kind of feel like and and mind you
you're you're almost your birthday's coming up.
So I kind of feel like you're realizing some things about

(01:50:20):
yourself that you're just like you know what, these are the
things that I need to work on and take it from me.
I'm very proud of you. You know, I I always want, I
want nothing but the best for you.
I don't want you to be happy. I want you, you know, you know,
me and mom, you know, I I kind of feel like we're as we're

(01:50:42):
getting older, our relationshipswith our parents is getting
better. I feel like me and mom, you
know, we we try to hang out as much as we can with.
Mom called me at my job just to have a chat.
She knew I was at lunch, but somehow she called me at my job
just to check up on me. I'm like, no, mom, I'm good.

(01:51:03):
You know, we're going to see each other next month.
But I but I say this to say this, It sounds like you're
really trying to find yourself. And again, you're my brother.
People always say that you and Iare different people.
We're the complete opposites. But I kind of feel like, you
know what? We're you're you're going into
your early 40s. Better now than never, you know.

(01:51:27):
What I mean? No.
Better now than never. No.
No. And and The thing is, like, I've
always defended you because it'slike when when people would say,
well, your brother is weird, well, he's my brother.
Here's the thing. Me and my brother have gone
through more shit than me and myfriends have.

(01:51:48):
So nothing. Nothing.
I know how my brother is in crisis.
I know I could trust my brother in crisis.
There's some friends that I don't even talk to anymore.
It's like I that would. Oh shit.
Who's the tab? Who's going to fucking tip?
I'm like, oh, really? You're going to argue about
tipping? OK, we're never going to go to
lunch anymore. We're never going to have dinner
Because you and I, there's been times where we'll go out.

(01:52:12):
Sometimes you'll pick up the tab, sometimes I'll pick up the
tab. We never fight about tips.
We never fight about certain things.
Because I think the more important thing is that even our
family, whenever we post some pictures of ourselves on
Facebook, it's oh, you and your brother get along well.
Yeah, he's my brother. Don't get me wrong.

(01:52:34):
We may not agree with a lot of things.
We we. And there's been times where you
and I have argued, brothers fight.
I don't like my. Brothers always fight.
I I'm about all my brothers. Yeah, but at the same time, it's
like if my brother needed anything for a good cause, then

(01:52:54):
I'll do it for him. And I'm sure, and I'm sure vice
versa, You know what I'm saying?I've known brother.
I've known brothers that don't even talk anymore because of
something trivial. And I'm like, wow.
And I say this to myself. I hope me and my brother never
get to that point where we're just like, you know what?

(01:53:15):
Fuck this. I don't ever have to talk to you
for the rest of your life. I.
Don't want that. You know what?
I'm You know what I mean? Yeah, I definitely appreciate
what you're saying or what now because like I mean I've, you
know, like I said, you know in crisis mode you said experience.
And I I've, I've been through shit with, you know, me and you
have gotten to confrontations. We may have not talked to each
other for a while and we reconcile.

(01:53:36):
Same thing with me and Jordan, Iwould say is that is that really
truly your brother, if you haven't tested this chin, you
know, I mean, so you know we both got into like the little
scuffles and this and that and whatnot.
You know, just young dumb shit. But you know when you, you
always come back together, bridge that gap, you know, and
it just makes the relationship Iguess that much more stronger.

(01:53:56):
You know, I mean, so I I appreciate it.
You know, I mean, and I know that's not the liquor talk, and
I know it's from the bottom of your.
Heart. No, it really is.
So. I appreciate.
That. It's it's and and and.
No, it's just like, you know, I like having you on the podcast
when I. So I say this because I know
that you always get upset. So I try to and again, just this

(01:54:19):
goes into compromise sometimes. I know we were talking about
compromising in relationships, but sometimes it's it's more
than just, you know, boy and girl.
Sometimes it's like family. You know what I mean?
Now, Jordan, you're you're part of this family whether I mean,
well you just are like I don't. You know you may not have our

(01:54:41):
last names but you're part of this family because of the the
proximity and closest between you and my brother.
But with that being said there'sbeen there's been times where I
always felt like, OK, me you know again me and my brother.
And and you've even witnessed this like you're definitely part

(01:55:02):
of this family because you've witnessed this before.
But I've never had a there's never ever been a hatred for my
brother because again I know. I know Sakai is.
I know I could push your button Sakai you could push mine.
I I know what buttons to push. But you know what I'm saying.
But you know, it's we're older now.

(01:55:23):
We're in our. I'm.
I'm in my, you're not. Quite in your 40s, are you
Sakai? Not yet.
I'm going to be 41. Oh, OK.
So you're ready for SO and and and and The funny thing is I say
this because our father has got mad brothers.
So three sisters. They talk all the time.

(01:55:46):
Jessica, your family. I know you're you're you and
your you always post about how close you are with your dad.
You're always posting family stuff.
I know how close you guys are. I never have to.
You know, I, I, I, you guys are close.
And I was watching The Godfatherthe other day, actually two days

(01:56:08):
ago. And there's a line in that movie
that I always feel rings true. Raise your hand if you've seen
The Godfather. OK, cool.
OK. Jessica.
You you. Yeah, I'm.
Missing out. You got to do better with your
life anyway. Johnny Fontaine, I believe, is

(01:56:30):
the name. He comes, he comes and he visits
and and Marlon Brando, the godfather, he's he asks him,
He's like, of course he there's a favorite that he wants him to
do and he grants it, but he's like, hey, do you spend time
with your family? And Johnny Fontaine says yes.
And he says good, because a man that doesn't spend time with his

(01:56:50):
family isn't really a man. And that I was like, fucking a
right. So if I go to Seattle, I have.
I have to make sure. And it's not just me, my friends
like hey, or even Romeo. Hey, have you have you seen your
mom yet? Did you talk to your mom?

(01:57:11):
They make sure that if I'm visiting there, even though I'm
not staying with my mom, I'm making sure.
Hey, go go see your mom. Here's a vehicle.
Here's the keys. Go see your mom.
It's important. Important.
That's important. I feel the brotherly love.
You know, I know we're not the Mannings, and I know we're not

(01:57:32):
the Kelsey's, but so so Phillip slash Harrington.
Well, I I I want you to know, dude, I will always have your
back no matter what. I appreciate it.
And I I feel higher than any other butt that I ever smoked.

(01:57:53):
I feel very, you know, I mean very uplifted by your words, you
know, it. It truly hits right here.
So I I definitely appreciate it.It means a lot to me, yo.
And and and I and I and I mean that I I really do like I say I
love having you on the podcast and again I having Jordan on
here also it I I knew before having you guys on here.

(01:58:15):
I mean, first of all, I don't think I've ever done this much
prep for a podcast ever, to be honest with you.
You're like, we're, I kind of feel like we're like, hey, get
the limousine, We're about to goto the prom.
Make sure that we pick up our dates.
Who's got the limousine? What are we doing afterwards?
What's the plan? Like?
We actually planned the shit outof this podcast, so and.

(01:58:37):
Anything we planned about? Yeah, technically, because I
just wanted to show y'all. These are the notes that I
actually had, you know, for the subject matter or whatnot.
So you know, granted that we didn't touch on nothing, you can
keep it for another podcast, butI actually written down notes,
you know, for the podcast and whatnot in the subject matter I

(01:58:58):
was going to talk about. But I'm happy how this
organically took shape and went its way.
Then Jessica hopped on and was able to, you know, contribute as
if she was there for the whole 2hour duration or whatnot, which
we got a couple minutes left before, you know this, we hit
our our, our, our two hour mark or whatnot.
So, I mean, first and foremost, I'd like to thank everybody for
being here, You know, Jordan foragreeing to this.

(01:59:20):
You know, I know he has two kidsthat, you know, that's going to
be robbing him of his sleep hereshortly or whatnot.
You know, I'd like to thank Jessica for hopping on, you
know, being our, you know, our, I guess our our our ace in the
hole. So this is not a sausage fest.
A woman of reason, you know whatI mean?
And obviously, you know, hating for putting this together or
what or not and not about you podcasting, you know, keeping

(01:59:43):
the ball rolling, you know, and keeping it lively and and
entertaining. So I definitely appreciate being
invited. I will say this because you did
make a good point, Sokai, because Sokai kept pushing the
whole, hey, what's that outline?What are we going to be talking
about? I I didn't have an outline, but
I've been so busy for the past like 4 days I didn't have an

(02:00:03):
outline ready. So I literally when I went to
work, I was like, OK, let me go look up some stuff and I started
like. Adding stuff to my, to my.
I was like, oh, we could talk about this.
We could talk about this again. And he's right.
We talked about, I didn't know if we was going to talk about
relationships hating in general.I don't know.
I I thought y'all were going to talk about the three men that O

(02:00:25):
4 three men that froze in KansasCity.
See, I didn't even know about that.
You know it's. National News?
Come on, man. Cher.
Jessica. Cher we'll we'll, we'll save,
we'll save that for the next podcast and whatnot.
You can add that on your next. List.

(02:00:46):
Yes, Sir. I'm sorry to interrupt you it.
It's still in the making and still figuring out what
happened, but three people frozein the backyard for two days and
drug use could have been involved, so.
Oh, well then, there you go thatthat.
There's your motive. But it goes very deep than that,

(02:01:08):
so save it please. And I want to be on that podcast
well. We're going to have you, I
think. I think you're on next week
actually, right? Next week usually before we end
this, the podcast, we always endit with what we're binge
watching. So Jordan, what are you binge

(02:01:29):
watching lately? And that could include YouTube
videos, because I know you don'tdo a lot of television.
Yeah, I don't through television, but currently Billy
Carson, who's doing a lot of antiquity research and talking
about ancient tablets and how itties into the spirituality

(02:01:52):
concepts and organized religion and that kind of thing.
So a lot of Billy Carson shout out to Billy Carson.
OK, you sent me some of those. Videos.
When he sent you those videos. Yeah, he sent me some Billy
Carson videos. OK.
So Kyle, what are you binge watching?
So I've been binge watching first and foremost.

(02:02:14):
I've never really been a huge fan of anime, right?
But I've heard a lot of people talk about the live action
version of of of of One One Piece.
I don't know if y'all, so I saidbefore I I started watching the
the live adaptation, I wanted tojust watch a couple episodes of
the anime because it's the longest run in anime I guess in
history, right? So you know, I watched the first

(02:02:36):
five episodes 5, went to 10/10, went to 20.
Now I'm on episode 300 and something, right?
And it has the the, the cartoon.It's really caught my attention,
you know, 30 minute segments or whatever.
I've been binge watching One Piece.
What streaming piece? What streaming?
What streaming app is it on? It's on Netflix, Crunchyroll,

(02:02:57):
but I'm watching on Netflix. Are you sure?
It's not. It's not one punch, right?
No, no, it's not the One Punch Man like the Ball dude or
whatever. No, no, it's it's One Piece.
It's like it's like pirates and shit.
Oh, OK, OK. On Netflix.
OK, good. Good to know.
On. Netflix, yeah.
Jessica, what about you? I I was binge watching One Piece

(02:03:18):
the Net Netflix movie. Then I stopped, but I need to go
back to it. But I've been listening to and
watching a lot of Rotten Mango Stephanie Foo.
She has like 3 channels and it'sall like crime.
I'm into. I've been.
I've been into crime and yeah she talks about all kinds of

(02:03:41):
just different situations, different countries, just sick
individuals, cult leaders and like the crisis in Korea and
Japan like it. It just she blows my mind on.
I mean like I can tell like fromher husband, like she her her

(02:04:02):
husband puts up with like her talk is because she's non-stop.
She has the show in the morning.She has some show in the mid,
you know in the afternoon and the and the evening.
And she has another show where they bench eat everything and
it's it's incredible to see that.
But it's also she has really good stories.
She does sci-fi, she'll do books.

(02:04:24):
She'll do real life. So, but yeah, I've been
addicted. Oh, really?
OK and what? And what?
And what streaming service is onYouTube?
Yeah, YouTube pretty much the the they.
She shows and talks a lot on it.There's no hiding, pretty much

(02:04:46):
per SE, But yeah, rotten mango. OK, I've been actually binge
watching the the show that I, aside from 24, which I'm in
Season 2 of, love that show. I'm binge watching now.
Binge Burn Notice that used to be on USA.

(02:05:07):
It's actually a pretty damn goodshow for those who I I've been
finding a lot of like old shows that I haven't been watching,
like in the 2000s and early 90s.So I'm trying to like catch up
on some old shows. So I threw.
I I yeah, right I I throw I throw it in binged up.

(02:05:28):
Burn Notice. I've actually watched like 3
episodes and I'm like, OK, this sounds like a show that I could
get behind that. And yeah, so that's one of the
new shows that I've been watching.
But wow, this. First of all, guys, thank you
for being a part of this podcast.
A special. Oh, Jordan, by the way, is
there? What?

(02:05:49):
What? What would you like to put out
there? What would you like to promote
before we close out the show? Nothing really, just to say
thank you again for being here and I hope everyone finds their
peace and is willing to work to try to find it. 1000 Thank yous

(02:06:10):
for that positive note. Sakai, what about you?
You got anything you want to promote?
No, not really. Or what?
Not, You know, I mean, I could promote you, you know, go out
and go watch my brother's comedies.
You know, he'll be out and about.
You know, follow him on on social medias, you know.
So I'll promote you and your work that you do to make people

(02:06:30):
laugh and bring joy. Great.
Now I got to fire my other manager and hire Sakai.
OK, good job. Wait to earn that parking space.
And Jessica, you're. I know you're a Yogi.
Are you still doing stuff? Are you still looking to do
stuff online like on YouTube and?

(02:06:53):
I still do online teachings and I'm about to start revamp my new
my YouTube channel. I'm just trying to declutter my
my new place and stuff. And I mean, I can leave here
saying, you know, peace and serenity, but in reality, life
right now is, yeah, life sucks, but I was going to say something

(02:07:18):
else. But just just try to have a
positive mindset as to being alive.
That's it. You know, you got legs, you got,
you got a voice, you got a job, you got JOBI mean, you have to
be grateful for the things that you have and not be.

(02:07:41):
What's the word I'm looking for?Go for things that you need and
not what you want. OK, that's that's that's
actually very good advice and you're very right about that
needs needs over once. Yeah, so it's not this need
right here, but no. But yeah, promoting just just

(02:08:06):
things that you want in life andwhat you bring value to others.
And you know what? What better?
Way to end the show with that nugget of truth.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to this podcast.
I kind of felt like we have Really, really got a lot figured

(02:08:31):
out and we've mend a lot. My special thanks to Jordan
Moore. Special thanks to Sakai Phillips
and of course Jessica Vargas. You guys were wonderful.
Thank you for being a part of this podcast, and if you are one
of those people that would rather look for people on dating
apps to make your life happy instead of just being yourself,

(02:08:54):
being real, being vulnerable, being confident and being
stable, just know that it's not about you.
Goodbye. Bye.
Bye.