As we hit the monumental 100th episode of 'Nothing but Anarchy', Chad reflects on the journey that brought us here. He also dives into J. Cole's apology and what that means for his career along with Zendaya's Vogue interview and wanting people to see you how you see yourself. Thank you to everyone who has been with us for season 1, stay tuned for more!
Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET to watch the show live on Youtube. Follow @chadsand on Instagram and subscribe to the Nothing But Anarchy Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Executive Produced by: Chad Sanders
Produced by: Morgan Williams
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Nothing but Anarchy.
Episode number 100.
We have a few things to talkabout here.
I already did in the lastepisode, some housekeeping as to
let you all know that this willbe the final episode of what
(00:25):
we're calling season one of thisshow.
This is episode number 100.
It is I think last week was ayear to date since we started,
but this is the 100th episode.
We have a few things.
We're going to do a pretty youknow, we're going to do what we
do here, which is go through afew things that felt
particularly interesting to ushere in the show, and then I'm
(00:52):
going to give a couplereflections on what it has been
to do a year of this show 100episodes and then I will give
you all some information on howto stay abreast when we are
going to circle back for seasontwo and also just to keep up
with what I have going onoutside of here, because I'm
(01:14):
about to start doing a coupleother things as well.
So, all right, here we go.
I'm looking for my docket.
I'm looking for my docket.
This is also my first timetrying to do this show as my own
producer.
This is a fun, fun, full circle.
I mean, morgan is here now.
She's in the chat, but I wastrying to get myself set up on
(01:40):
YouTube live and realizing justhow in adept Is that a word?
I guess I'm making it a word inadept.
I am unadept.
Is that a word?
I guess I'm making it a word.
Inadept, I am unadept, I amwith YouTube and I guess I'll
just start there.
We started the show because wehad an opportunity that landed
on me, reached out, said hey,what are you working on?
(02:03):
Would you want to do a showabout this, this or this?
And the third this was sports,and the NBA specifically, I
think, was a target area for AMPat Amazon before they crushed
it.
And man, it's funny.
Actually I'll do a quick offroad on that one.
I've now been a part of a fewthings in different places that
(02:27):
have gotten crushed.
I went and worked at a techstartup after I worked at Google
, called Dev Bootcamp, and wewere a 19-week coding bootcamp
for people who wanted totransition their jobs, for
people who wanted to go fromwhatever it was they were doing,
you know, making money.
(02:47):
That wasn't feeling right forthem to become software
developers during the tech boom.
So we were coding boot camp.
We had locations in SanFrancisco, chicago, new York.
I was the head of expansion andnew products, so we expanded to
a few other cities.
I tried to get us going inBerlin.
Couldn't really figure it out,but I got to live out there for
a few months, which was awesome.
Long story short, kaplan boughtthe company and, I want to say,
(03:10):
within two years the companywas gone.
I left after Kaplan bought it,but not long after I left the
company was gone.
Last year, two years ago Ithink.
At this point actually, I wentand wrote for the show Rap Shit.
Rap Shit, as many of you allknow, was sort of Issa Rae's
(03:34):
baby after Insecure that sheexecutive, produced and created,
hired a team of writers,including myself and a few
others who I've talked about onthis show show, one of which was
Kid Fury.
Shout out to Fury.
I went and saw Kid Fury standup.
I think it was his first standup of the tour.
Maybe there might have beenother legs before this, but when
(03:54):
saw his stand up in Brooklynover the weekend, um, he was
kind enough to comp me sometickets.
He taught I actually had twotickets and he comped me two
tickets.
I didn't realize that.
I thought he only had given meone.
I would have for sure invitedsomebody to come with me because
I think I would love for abunch of people to go out and
(04:15):
check out his stand-up.
He is talking about I hope I'mnot spoiling anything or
breaking an NBA here but he'stalking about how depressed, in
so many words, he became overthe last few years trying to
navigate, among other things,hollywood and entertainment and
(04:39):
spoiler alert it drove him toattempt suicide at Coachella
last year around this time lastyear I think he said April and
he does it with levity, he doesit with humor.
He is like very I got to seethe Kid Fury slash the Reed
audience live and live in color.
(05:00):
So I got to see, like thepeople who came out.
That was really a fun experience, for me too was getting to
watch what kind of peopleconnect to Kid Fury.
And I had an epiphany aboutaudiences.
I had an epiphany aboutEntertainers comedians, singers,
rappers you know, let's callthem avatars.
(05:22):
Rappers, you know, let's callthem avatars.
And I would say, you know, insome way I am developing into,
or have developed into that sortof figure for some set of
people.
I think that I had an epiphanyand I'm often to the party on
stuff like this, but I had anepiphany that the person
(05:44):
standing on that stage is notjust entertainment for the
people in those seats.
They are in a wayrepresentative of and for the
people in those seats.
They're a mirror for the peoplein those seats to themselves.
And I saw that in Kid Fury'saudience, in those seats to
(06:06):
themselves and I saw that inFury's audience.
I saw a crowd of people wholooked like, felt like laughed,
like ruminated, like what I'veseen in Fury and I don't know
Crystal at all and I don't knowhis co-host on the read.
Crystal I don't know what hervibe is, besides having listened
to the show a couple of timesand I think probably she is that
also for many of the people Isaw there in that audience and
(06:30):
that's a special thing.
That's like that thing that wealways talk about representation
.
You know, I felt in that roomthe, and I was offering it up,
it was going, it was passingthrough me too, but I felt the
sort of gravity, gratitude andgravity and the like, just the
(06:53):
energy people were trying tothrow back up to fury on that
stage to say thank you for beinghere with us still and for
staying in the fight.
And please, please, stick withit, please stick with it.
So, you know, besides, like thehumor and the writing, and just
like the way that he pieced thestory together, and also just
(07:15):
like his ad you know, his adlibbing his the way that he can
improvise on stage, the way thathe's like, you know, he brought
things that were extremelycurrent, to the point where you
knew that they couldn't havebeen written days before that
performance.
Besides all of that, which Ithought was very strong, I felt
inspired by getting to watchsomebody connect to their
(07:36):
audience in a way that felt sopalpable, like it was such a, it
had such a fabric, theconnection between them.
Anyway, back to the point HBO,max or Max or HBO, whatever you
want to call it.
They killed rap shit.
A year after rap shit fired me,there was something else that I
was a part of that got canned,that I was thinking of oh, I
(07:57):
mean my BET show that never madeit on the air my first baby,
archer, my very first baby,which I almost published in my
new book.
I'm publishing a differentscreenplay in my new book, but I
almost published this thing inmy new book because I just
wanted people to read it.
I wanted people to see what gotme out here, what gave me my
(08:18):
start in all of this, what gotSpike Lee to notice me and
others, and what I thought wasgoing to be kind of my, I guess,
like my, my career vehicle.
That would launch me into thisthing, and in many ways it did.
But that got canned.
I mean, I've said this beforebut you know I was in a
relationship that didn't workout recently, a very serious
(08:40):
relationship, a very seriousrelationship.
I was on a high schoolbasketball team that went to the
championship and lost, and youknow I can go through a list of
a few other things, especiallyin adult life and especially in
my career, where I was a part ofsomething.
And you know, maybe after aseason, direct deposit was not
(09:03):
renewed for a second season atAudible, even though it was a
prestige darling.
It was not.
It was the only Audible shownominated for the two biggest
awards at the Amby's last year.
It continues to reverberate inculture and and people, people
(09:25):
who I never in a million yearswould have thought would have
listened to that, because theywouldn't.
I didn't even have thought theywould have found it on audible
um, listened to it and told mewhat they thought about it.
But like, that thing got cannedand like or at least season two
of it got canned.
I own, own the IP, so it's neverover until I say it's over.
But here's a point I'm tryingto make, which is this constant
(09:51):
cycle of starting a hundred, athousand different things,
because that's what this job is.
You start a thousand differentthings.
You go on my notes pad rightnow there's a thousand different
things that I wanna get going.
(10:12):
Maybe I give 10 of those enoughwater and energy and thought
and resources to become, I don'tknow, a post on Instagram, um,
a conversation with a potentialproducer, a few words in a
(10:37):
Google doc.
Maybe out of those 10, two ofthem actually materialize into
something that somebody elsegets to experience, somebody
else gets to watch or listen toor look at or read.
(10:59):
Those two if I'm lucky, onegets, one has.
It attracts the audience, theresources, the team, the
schedule, the people puttingthings aside in their life to
prioritize it, both the peoplewho make it and the audience.
(11:20):
Maybe one out of 100 of thoseout of of a thousand of those in
my notes pad, maybe 0.1% get tohave life in the way that this
show has had life for the lastyear and more times than not Dev
(11:43):
, bootcamp, rap, shit, directDeposit, whatever more times
than not, somebody else gets tomake the decision about whether
or not one year is enough.
(12:07):
Important thing, like the mostspecial thing about this process
for me, has been learning thatwe can build something like this
.
We can put it, we can put itdown to rest and, if and when we
decide to, we can pick it backup to continue, and that's kind
(12:30):
of like that's been.
If I'm being honest, that'sbeen the biggest life lesson for
me in the last few years,especially the last year, which
is that all these things that weattach our identities to, all
these things I attach every timeI take on a project and it
means so much.
I tie a little bit of myself toit, a little bit of my identity
(12:54):
to it, a relationship, afriendship that means so much to
me.
A piece of myself, a piece ofhow I see myself, is attached to
(13:15):
the health and existence ofthat thing.
And the big learning for me inthis last year has been all of
these things ebb and flow, allof the things come and go, the
things come and go, but like thelife is the thing, like the
whole life, the whole series ofcycles and patterns and
relationships and connectionsmade, and trying and failing and
(13:36):
hurting from the failing andgetting excited again about the
next thing, like that's thething.
Like that's the thing that hasbeen, that's the thing that has
been, that's the thing that I amright now having to sit still
with, which is difficult for meand accept, is that like there,
you don't, there is no place,there is no point where you turn
(13:59):
the paper and get a grade.
There is no, you can't get an Abecause it's every day, it's
nonstop.
It's waking up in the morningand doing your chores, feeding
your dog, taking her on a walk,working out, talking to your
colleagues, doing your fuckingtaxes.
It's nonstop.
(14:20):
There is no end point, likethere is for these projects, for
these companies, for thiswhatever.
And I think, like I'm learning,that finding joy in that stuff
is the thing that's going tosustain me, to let me keep doing
my job and make art for as longas I want to.
(14:40):
Okay, well, that wasn't what wecame to talk about, so let's
talk about what we came to talkabout First Sips Coffee.
All right, let's talk about JCole.
Ready, let's do it.
So J Cole is an artist who I amnot a fan of.
(15:04):
I think he is a talented rapper.
I think he has some insightfulthings to say, Although, like
most rappers, I think, like mostpeople who garner a lot of
(15:25):
attention, I think he sometimessays things that are commonly
understood, but the delivery isthe thing that you know is what
attracts people or an audienceto reflect on it or to say that
it's special himself.
(15:47):
In some ways, I would say, intoa rap beef with Kendrick Lamar
by walking around recording forthe last couple of years and
talking about how he's the bestperson out there rapping, which,
as far as rap is concerned, asfar as, like competitive sports
or art forms are concerned, thatis as well as saying compete
(16:14):
with me.
To say I'm the best is to sayprove me wrong.
I think.
I think that's what it pointsto.
Words, words, I think,sometimes say things and other
times they point to two otherthings that could be said.
And when you say I'm the best,what you're pointing at is to
say and none of you guys are asgood as me.
Obviously, that's what the bestmeans and Kendrick Lamar
(16:40):
decided to take the challenge.
Challenge accepted and he saidall right, cool, let's do this.
That's what he said on Futureand Metro's album that came out
two weeks ago.
He said come on, let's do thisWith a verse on like that.
He said let's go.
He said let's get it, boy.
I think those are his exactwords.
Let's get it, bro.
That's what he said.
Okay, let's get it, bro.
And that means let's get it.
(17:04):
I'm about to go play basketballafter this.
You go to the basketball court.
I'm about to go play basketballafter this.
You go to the basketball court,you shoot for teams.
Everybody's stretching andgetting ready, whatever, blah,
blah, blah.
At some point somebody says,okay, y'all, let's get it.
Like, let's go, let's bump.
(17:24):
And that is the signal thatmeans we will all be frenzies
again after this.
But for now, let's do this,let's find it.
Let's see who's better today,let's see who is the best today.
That doesn't honestly meanyou're the best forever.
It doesn't mean, as timeunfolds, we will look at it all
(17:48):
differently.
No doubt there was a time whena lot of people thought Nas won
his rap beef with Jay-Z.
Now there's most people, Ithink, believe Jay-Z won it
because Jay-Z went on to havethe bigger career that continues
today.
I mean, they're both stillmaking music, but time will
change the way that we look atthese things.
But for now, like today,kendrick was saying let's get it
(18:11):
, bro, let's see who's reallylike that.
That was supposed to be thebeginning, the opening, the
unfolding of oh great, theseguys are going to make great
music and spar Kendrick Drake, jCole and I thought I was well
within my rights to believe itwould be great music, because
(18:33):
the first song that reallylaunched this thing was like
that, which I believe is stillnumber one, and it is in fact a
great song.
It's a song that I listened to.
I have listened to severaldozen times since it came out.
I have only listened to JCole's diss of Kendrick Lamar
two times and those were on theday that the diss came out,
(18:54):
which was on Friday.
J Cole released a surprise albumand the last track on the album
last track, maybe that was thepenultimate, can't remember is a
Kendrick Lamar diss.
That's what it is.
He makes fun of KendrickLamar's discography.
He says his canon is lacklusterand that he doesn't make enough
(19:18):
music and that he's too shortto fight or to reach J Cole and
Drake and that he's boring.
Oh my God, j Cole called himboring.
I thought that was particularlyunselfaware for J Cole to say
that someone else's music putspeople to sleep, but also, while
(19:40):
doing so, he said in so manywords, pretty specifically, like
I don't want to do this withyou.
Well, in the verses he's sayingI don't want to have to fight
you, but I'll do it because you,you threw yourself out there,
you threw me out there.
You said we're gonna do this.
(20:00):
You said let's get it, bro.
J cole comes back on sundaynight.
I want to say at his ownfestival, on stage, sitting in
in a chair, and he says,paraphrasing I wish I had not
put that track out, I wish I hadnot dissed this guy.
I love this guy, this is my guy, he's great.
(20:20):
Don't you guys think he's great?
He says don't you guys thinkhe's one of the greatest artists
of all time?
And everybody cheers blah, blah, blah.
He's big up in Kendrick and inso many ways he was.
I've said in so many, too manytimes today.
He was retreating.
This was a retreat, this was.
I have put this track out thereto plant my flag and now I'm
(20:43):
taking my flag down because Idon't want to.
As he put it himself it himself,he has not enjoyed living with
knowing that he has entered hisentry in this beef, in this
sparring, in this back and forth.
He doesn't like it, he's notfeeling it, it hurts him.
He's not sleeping well theseare his words not sleeping well.
(21:06):
He doesn't like getting textsfrom all of his friends talking
about what are you going to do,do you want to do something to
him?
Et cetera.
So he doesn't like having hisphone blow up with people.
Also, I can't, I'm not going tolie.
I think it's kind of crazy Ifyou are like somebody's, let's
say, if you're somebody's likeseventh closest friend or even
(21:28):
10th closest contact, I thinkit's pretty crazy if you see
someone get thrown intosomething like a public spat
like this.
I cannot relate to the personwho would reach out and be like
yo, are you okay, do you needanything?
Because to me I'm talking aboutthe 10th friend.
Now, if I'm somebody's fourthclosest friend, or first or
(21:53):
seventh even, that makes alittle more sense.
But once you're like talkingabout the third or fourth ring
of the circle the outer, outer,outer it is crazy to me that
somebody that is so obviouslysomeone trying to salaciously
enter your space to get afirsthand look at your anguish
(22:14):
so that they can say to theirfriends and remember later on I
was there, I was a part of the JCole thing, but anyway, it's a
digression.
I just think that's crazy.
That's weird as shit of shitthe internet, the podosphere,
(22:43):
the blogosphere is full.
It's a wash.
It is overflowing withreactions to J Cole retreating
or trying his best to from thissparring.
Here's the very first thing thatI want to say, and it's
important because at the end ofthis, if I have some time, I
want to talk about things that Ihave learned from this first
100 episodes of doing this show,this first 100 episodes of
(23:06):
self-producing something of thissize.
And you guys might say I don'tknow how you guys see this thing
.
Honestly, that's like that hasbeen a real learning for me is
people don't know how otherpeople see them.
We're going to talk aboutZendaya.
Yes, we're going to talk aboutZendaya and what she says about
being cast as a high schoolerover and over and being happy to
finally be cast as an adult, asshe said, because, as you said
(23:30):
which is ironic, because shedidn't even go to high school,
which I thought was funny.
But first thing I want to sayhere is and this was actually a
point that TJ Theo brought up tome and a shield.
This cannot be.
This is a learning for me andthis cannot be understated.
(23:53):
We all know in theory thateverything is promo, as far as
publicly issued statements andactions and social media
behaviors.
It's all promotion forsomething.
It might be promotion forpeople to follow you.
It might be promotion for aproject you have coming out
(24:14):
later.
As I think through everythingI'm going to be doing from now
until February when my bookcomes out.
Now, some of those things aregoing to be artistically pure,
because I have an interest and Ithink there's something cool
that I can make or curiositythat I want.
There's a skill set I want tobuild.
There's a curiosity.
I have an interest and I thinkthere's something cool that I
can make or curiosity that Iwant.
There's a, there's a skillset Iwant to.
I want to build.
(24:35):
There's a curiosity I have.
There's something that I wantto offer to the audience.
Um, but it does not lose methat the context for me along
the way always is I want tocontinue to build the audience.
I want to continue tostrengthen my connection to the
audience, to understand whatthey like and what I can offer
(24:58):
them.
And I am going to be selling aproduct very soon, a book, and
so, in that regard, everything Ido, whether I like it or not,
everything that I do publicly,is in some way promotion for
that book.
It is going to affect theoutcomes of whether or not
(25:22):
people are going to buy thatbook, and the outcomes of
whether or not people buy thatbook are going to be important
to the outcomes of what I'm ableto do next, what kind of
resources I have to do, what Ineed to do next.
That's obvious.
Maybe I don't know.
Sometimes, even if something'sobvious, it's nice to just lay
it out there so that we can lookat it.
(25:46):
But TJ made the point that itcannot be dismissed, that it
cannot be forgotten oroverlooked that J Cole put this
diss track out.
It got people like me who donot care about J Cole to go
listen to J Cole's album.
I have never, and I probablywill never again I have never
(26:09):
listened to a J Cole album thefirst day it came out Never.
I think he's got seven albums Ihave never listened to a J Cole
album the first day it came outNever.
I think he's got seven albums.
I have never pressed play onone of those albums on day one.
I have probably never pressedplay on one of those albums on
day two, I think for one ofthose albums, the one that came
out maybe like two years ago, Ilistened to it within the first
(26:30):
week.
But by and large me the J Colenon-fan, but the hip-hop fan, I
am not on time for a J Colealbum ever.
And that track because I wokeup with texts already from my
friends saying J Cole respondedto Kendrick and that Kendrick
response happened to be on hisalbum.
(26:51):
That got me to go help run hisnumbers up.
So that was very clever J Cole.
Now that in and of itselfdilutes what was going to be and
I'm glad Tweeze pointed it outbecause I would have overlooked
that.
That dilutes what was going tobe.
(27:14):
My overall feeling, which I'llget to here as point two, about
this recantment, about thisretreat that J Cole just did, my
point was going to be this Iknow that this is against the
rules of rap.
I know that what J Cole did wasagainst the rules of rap.
(27:35):
You are not allowed to put outa diss track dissing someone
that you're in an active rapbeef with and then apologize and
say this was bothering myemotions too much.
I don't want to be part of this, you're not and you will be
docked points accordingly, andthose points, I believe, should
come in the form of um.
(27:58):
We should not take and this is avery grave indictment on a
rapper specifically we shouldnot henceforth take seriously
what it is that you say to us inyour rap music, because you
have now proven to us that yourconviction is shaky, your
(28:18):
conviction wavers.
The words you're saying may notbe words that you believe in
and that you want to standbehind, and that is, in my
opinion, an extremely damning,that is, an extremely damning
indictment on a rapper whobrands himself as being real and
transparent and always tellingus the truth, and so he's going
to pay the cost, he's going topay the tax on that in career
(28:41):
ways, no matter what.
There's almost no way aroundthat, as far as I see it.
And sometimes, what is good foryou and what is good for your,
(29:22):
sometimes what's good for youthe person and what's good for
you the career, and what'svaluable or even placating for
your audience.
Sometimes those things are atodds and you have to choose
yourself.
I think this goes for everysingle human being and let's
take it.
Let's take audience out of it.
Let's just say what you wantand what people want from you.
Sometimes those things are atodds and you have a choice to
make.
In those instances, and youhave a choice to make, in those
(30:04):
instances, you can sacrificeyourself or you can sacrifice
the trust that you've built withsomeone else because you are
changing your mind in a way thatis going to destabilize them
and it's going to throw them andit's going to make them feel
misled.
But that's what you feel.
That's where you're at and youlive with the consequences.
J Cole might have slept muchbetter that night.
And sleep, as I read in Toolsof Titans, tim Ferriss' book, as
said by some other philosopherI don't know who he was quoting
but sleep ultimately, isn't thatgood sleep?
(30:25):
Isn't that ultimately the goalof all of this?
He might've slept better thatnight and and he may have paid
for it by pulling the rug outfrom under his audience and from
us.
His non-audience clicks, sexopportunity, power, and it is a
(31:23):
nonstop cycle of him making thattrade and at this point I don't
know who the person is underthere at all anymore and J Cole
chose the opposite.
I can say a hundred differentthings about him looking weak,
(31:45):
about him being a punk which iswhat I've seen people say, and
much worse.
But what I can't say, eventhough he did fray the trust,
what I can't say as he sat inthat chair, is that I can't say
that he didn't look like that.
He looked uncomfortable withhis choice.
I cannot say that.
(32:07):
And he chose selfishness.
He is not going to give us therat beef that reverberates.
We'll probably get that fromKendrick and Drake.
That would be my estimation.
But J Cole says I'm not going toparticipate, I'm not a circus
clown, I am not going to giveyou guys what you want just
because you want it.
(32:27):
It's not working for me.
And as much as j cole is therapper who I do not even like
out of the three of these guys,that is, I think, the thing that
connects him to the everyperson, which is that that's the
choice that I think most peoplehonestly would sit well with if
(32:48):
it were them in that samepredicament.
People are not built for longlasting feuds and tension.
Those things break us apart,they hurt us, break us apart,
they hurt us.
They're the antithesis to thepoint of this whole thing.
So, in that way, I am not goingto judge J Cole, the person,
(33:10):
for what he's done here, but Idon't think I will ever be, ever
be a J Cole fan of the music.
Okay, lastly, morgan wanted meto tell you all she supports J
Cole and his choices, and isn'tthis what we want from people?
I'm paraphrasing, I hope I'mnot misquoting her, but isn't
this what we want from people?
(33:31):
Is to be vulnerable andapologize when they feel that
they have misstepped.
Okay, last thing here, and Idid this in reverse order I
think I actually did thelearnings from the show first,
and then J Cole, and now we'regoing to go to.
(33:56):
Zendaya had a catch up lastnight with a famous person, and
I signed an NDA for that catchup, and so I cannot speak
specifically on it.
I can't, even I.
I signed an NDA.
There's only one part of thatconversation that I think is
relevant here, which is that, um, people don't.
(34:20):
People don't know how they areseen.
There's complete distortionbetween the way we see ourselves
, the way we think other peoplesee us and how people actually
see us.
And I think sometimes we keepthat distortion there on purpose
, because when we get too closeto seeing how other people see
(34:43):
us, it is extremelyuncomfortable.
Have you ever accidentally reador been sent a text about
yourself that was meant to besent to someone else, about you?
That is an example of thisphenomenon.
It is so, no matter what,whether good, bad or otherwise,
(35:04):
more often than not it isuncomfortable to see the tone,
the language, the point of viewthat other people use when they
are talking or writing orspeaking about you, and they
think you're not present, whichis why we're not supposed to
have that information.
Think you're not present, whichis why we're not supposed to
(35:26):
have that information.
Now Zendaya says in a Vogueinterview, quote unquote I'm
always in a high schoolsomewhere.
She says and mind you, I neverwent to high school, so to break
away from that was refreshingand it was also kind of scary
because I was like I hope peoplebuy me as my own age, own age,
(35:49):
a couple of things on that andalso Zendaya's history of being
seen as a kitty Zendaya's, Ithink, much younger than me, I
don't know how much younger thanme, maybe like eight years, I
don't know.
But what I can say?
Somebody says happy 100thChatty.
Thank you, I don't know whothat is, but thank you.
What I can say is I also havethat thing where people think
I'm younger than I am forever.
(36:10):
Frankly, I think a lot ofpeople of color have that thing.
I think there's like some levelof actually I don't even know
Let me not try to make this somesort of social commentary.
It's either just that, like ourskin looks good for a long time
and our features look young orold.
People be looking wrinkly andold, and probably it's probably
(36:31):
the combination of both, but asa result, people always think
I'm younger than I am.
They also often think blackteens are more adult, they are
treated more as adults um thanusual.
So there is race stuff in there, there's racism in there, but
regardless, here's my point,here's my point.
Here's my point.
You don't get to choose howother people see you, no matter
(36:56):
how, no matter what you do.
And I came into this show thisis a full circle moment.
I came into this show this is afull circle moment, but that
(37:18):
had like the almost like thatlittle like sheen of the things
that are quote-unquote, likereal, like official, like this
is a real show.
We do this in a studio withmicrophones and cameras and
lighting and all these otherthings.
(37:39):
This is real.
This is real and as real.
You got to spend money, you gotto have sponsors, you got to
have amp attached and Amazon.
You got to have an executiveproducer over there who you got
to run things by.
Like that's what real is.
And the cycle, like theevolution of doing this show and
(37:59):
making it this far to 100episodes of this thing, has
taught me the lesson that, likesustaining, being back every
Tuesday and Thursday, pushingforward, doing an episode even
when you're broken, doing anepisode even when you're broken,
(38:20):
doing an episode even when youcannot show up as the sparkly
thing that you're trying toportray like that's the value.
And it's a full circle momentfor me, because I'm sitting in
this room right now with a ringlight, a microphone, an input
(38:41):
device, two big ass lights righthere in my home studio, with my
MacBook Pro, which is broken,hooked up like the monitor is
broken so I can't see anythingon the monitor hooked up to an
external monitor on top of asound pad and two boxes so that
it's like eye level and I have.
(39:03):
This is a home studio situationand this is the thing I'm gonna
be real with y'all.
This is the thing that I wantedto push against.
I didn't want to do it likethis.
I wanted to do it fancy and aswe did, I started to realize
(39:26):
every day there was another signpoking me telling me the value
is not the fancy, and the restof the world is trying to tell
me that as well.
Like one day, jake Paul is goingto be the fucking president.
Y'all going to be mad, but Isaid it right here Okay, one day
Jake Paul is going to be thepresident and somebody else out
(39:49):
there who would intern in theWhite House and got their PhD in
political science and humanstudies and did all the right
moves and paid all the rightmoney to like grow through this
channel of blah, blah, blah,prestige and paperwork and yada,
yada, yada.
Like that person is going to beworking for Jake Paul and the
(40:12):
sooner that I can actually likelive in that truth and believe
it and acknowledge now I don'tmean that acknowledge like that
we need Jake Paul people to bepresident but more specifically,
that prestige value is notvalue.
Like value is value Givingsomebody something that they
(40:38):
want when they need it, everytime when they look for it.
Like, the sooner I can actually, I have had such resistance to
that idea.
I have pushed on it, pushedback against it so many times,
in so many ways the sooner thatI can fully digest it.
I think all of this, all ofthis grows in a way that will be
(41:04):
meaningful and impactful formyself and many, many, many
other people for a long time,and so that's what I'm going to
be working on during this breakbefore we come back with season
two.
Okay, last thing, all right,happy 100th episode to Morgan,
our phenomenal producer I am.
So this show very literallydoes not exist without Morgan's
(41:33):
energy, vision, tacticalexecution, kindness,
thoughtfulness, creativity,intelligence, spirit.
That is, that's just.
(41:54):
That's the number one draftpick.
I've said it before, that isjust a great person, and I'm
very thankful for how her familyhas also embraced the show and
supported and, uh, I'm so, soglad that I will get to continue
to work with producer morgan,uh, on some other things, um, so
(42:15):
, yeah, so that also I wanted tomention I said a thousand
gazillion names last week whohave been listening to the show.
But I also wanted to to add tothat list my cousin, rachel and
my brother-in-law Wesley.
It's so indicative.
You know the way that you canthank everybody in the world and
overlook your actual familysometimes.
(42:37):
So sorry about that, and Ireally appreciate you all being
supportive of this thing, and Ireally appreciate you all being
supportive of this thing.
I also, rachel, I am thankfulfor as someone else who I didn't
mention in the last time wewere sitting here, who's
listened to so much of it Timdid I mention Tim last time?
Whatever Okay, not whatever,but like I'm trying to remember
everybody as if I'm giving anOscar speech, but this is really
(42:59):
, this is really has made it funand a community to do this
thing.
What I'm going to be doing,moving forward from here until
you see me again on thisplatform, is starting pre behind
the camera a little bit, and so, as a means of practicing that,
(43:28):
I am going to be out doing someman on the street stuff, not
not not literally, but like outin the community, out in my
world, doing some very, veryshort form interviews with
people, like incredibly shortform, um, to get myself in the
habit of, you know, framing ashot, finding beauty, trying to
(43:48):
pull out what is special aboutsomebody in a very short amount
of time, cause I have an ideafor something that I can build
with that that I think is goingto be interesting to people.
And then I'll be on myInstagram nonstop, as I already
am, so talk to me there at ChadSand.
This has been Nothing butAnarchy, episode number 100.
(44:11):
Love you all.
See you guys soon.
Bye-bye.
Well, that was anticlimactic,because I don't know how to end
this.
Here we go.
End stream.
Bye-bye.
Outro Music.
Welcome to Nothing but Anarchy.
Episode number 100.
We have a few things to talkabout here.
I already did in the lastepisode, some housekeeping as to
let you all know that this willbe the final episode of what
(00:25):
we're calling season one of thisshow.
This is episode number 100.
It is I think last week was ayear to date since we started,
but this is the 100th episode.
We have a few things.
We're going to do a pretty youknow, we're going to do what we
do here, which is go through afew things that felt
particularly interesting to ushere in the show, and then I'm
(00:52):
going to give a couplereflections on what it has been
to do a year of this show 100episodes and then I will give
you all some information on howto stay abreast when we are
going to circle back for seasontwo and also just to keep up
with what I have going onoutside of here, because I'm
(01:14):
about to start doing a coupleother things as well.
So, all right, here we go.
I'm looking for my docket.
I'm looking for my docket.
This is also my first timetrying to do this show as my own
producer.
This is a fun, fun, full circle.
I mean, morgan is here now.
She's in the chat, but I wastrying to get myself set up on
(01:40):
YouTube live and realizing justhow in adept Is that a word?
I guess I'm making it a word inadept.
I am unadept.
Is that a word?
I guess I'm making it a word.
Inadept, I am unadept, I amwith YouTube and I guess I'll
just start there.
We started the show because wehad an opportunity that landed
on me, reached out, said hey,what are you working on?
(02:03):
Would you want to do a showabout this, this or this?
And the third this was sports,and the NBA specifically, I
think, was a target area for AMPat Amazon before they crushed
it.
And man, it's funny.
Actually I'll do a quick offroad on that one.
I've now been a part of a fewthings in different places that
(02:27):
have gotten crushed.
I went and worked at a techstartup after I worked at Google
, called Dev Bootcamp, and wewere a 19-week coding bootcamp
for people who wanted totransition their jobs, for
people who wanted to go fromwhatever it was they were doing,
you know, making money.
(02:47):
That wasn't feeling right forthem to become software
developers during the tech boom.
So we were coding boot camp.
We had locations in SanFrancisco, chicago, new York.
I was the head of expansion andnew products, so we expanded to
a few other cities.
I tried to get us going inBerlin.
Couldn't really figure it out,but I got to live out there for
a few months, which was awesome.
Long story short, kaplan boughtthe company and, I want to say,
(03:10):
within two years the companywas gone.
I left after Kaplan bought it,but not long after I left the
company was gone.
Last year, two years ago Ithink.
At this point actually, I wentand wrote for the show Rap Shit.
Rap Shit, as many of you allknow, was sort of Issa Rae's
(03:34):
baby after Insecure that sheexecutive, produced and created,
hired a team of writers,including myself and a few
others who I've talked about onthis show show, one of which was
Kid Fury.
Shout out to Fury.
I went and saw Kid Fury standup.
I think it was his first standup of the tour.
Maybe there might have beenother legs before this, but when
(03:54):
saw his stand up in Brooklynover the weekend, um, he was
kind enough to comp me sometickets.
He taught I actually had twotickets and he comped me two
tickets.
I didn't realize that.
I thought he only had given meone.
I would have for sure invitedsomebody to come with me because
I think I would love for abunch of people to go out and
(04:15):
check out his stand-up.
He is talking about I hope I'mnot spoiling anything or
breaking an NBA here but he'stalking about how depressed, in
so many words, he became overthe last few years trying to
navigate, among other things,hollywood and entertainment and
(04:39):
spoiler alert it drove him toattempt suicide at Coachella
last year around this time lastyear I think he said April and
he does it with levity, he doesit with humor.
He is like very I got to seethe Kid Fury slash the Reed
audience live and live in color.
(05:00):
So I got to see, like thepeople who came out.
That was really a fun experience, for me too was getting to
watch what kind of peopleconnect to Kid Fury.
And I had an epiphany aboutaudiences.
I had an epiphany aboutEntertainers comedians, singers,
rappers you know, let's callthem avatars.
(05:22):
Rappers, you know, let's callthem avatars.
And I would say, you know, insome way I am developing into,
or have developed into that sortof figure for some set of
people.
I think that I had an epiphanyand I'm often to the party on
stuff like this, but I had anepiphany that the person
(05:44):
standing on that stage is notjust entertainment for the
people in those seats.
They are in a wayrepresentative of and for the
people in those seats.
They're a mirror for the peoplein those seats to themselves.
And I saw that in Kid Fury'saudience, in those seats to
(06:06):
themselves and I saw that inFury's audience.
I saw a crowd of people wholooked like, felt like laughed,
like ruminated, like what I'veseen in Fury and I don't know
Crystal at all and I don't knowhis co-host on the read.
Crystal I don't know what hervibe is, besides having listened
to the show a couple of timesand I think probably she is that
also for many of the people Isaw there in that audience and
(06:30):
that's a special thing.
That's like that thing that wealways talk about representation
.
You know, I felt in that roomthe, and I was offering it up,
it was going, it was passingthrough me too, but I felt the
sort of gravity, gratitude andgravity and the like, just the
(06:53):
energy people were trying tothrow back up to fury on that
stage to say thank you for beinghere with us still and for
staying in the fight.
And please, please, stick withit, please stick with it.
So, you know, besides, like thehumor and the writing, and just
like the way that he pieced thestory together, and also just
(07:15):
like his ad you know, his adlibbing his the way that he can
improvise on stage, the way thathe's like, you know, he brought
things that were extremelycurrent, to the point where you
knew that they couldn't havebeen written days before that
performance.
Besides all of that, which Ithought was very strong, I felt
inspired by getting to watchsomebody connect to their
(07:36):
audience in a way that felt sopalpable, like it was such a, it
had such a fabric, theconnection between them.
Anyway, back to the point HBO,max or Max or HBO, whatever you
want to call it.
They killed rap shit.
A year after rap shit fired me,there was something else that I
was a part of that got canned,that I was thinking of oh, I
(07:57):
mean my BET show that never madeit on the air my first baby,
archer, my very first baby,which I almost published in my
new book.
I'm publishing a differentscreenplay in my new book, but I
almost published this thing inmy new book because I just
wanted people to read it.
I wanted people to see what gotme out here, what gave me my
(08:18):
start in all of this, what gotSpike Lee to notice me and
others, and what I thought wasgoing to be kind of my, I guess,
like my, my career vehicle.
That would launch me into thisthing, and in many ways it did.
But that got canned.
I mean, I've said this beforebut you know I was in a
relationship that didn't workout recently, a very serious
(08:40):
relationship, a very seriousrelationship.
I was on a high schoolbasketball team that went to the
championship and lost, and youknow I can go through a list of
a few other things, especiallyin adult life and especially in
my career, where I was a part ofsomething.
And you know, maybe after aseason, direct deposit was not
(09:03):
renewed for a second season atAudible, even though it was a
prestige darling.
It was not.
It was the only Audible shownominated for the two biggest
awards at the Amby's last year.
It continues to reverberate inculture and and people, people
(09:25):
who I never in a million yearswould have thought would have
listened to that, because theywouldn't.
I didn't even have thought theywould have found it on audible
um, listened to it and told mewhat they thought about it.
But like, that thing got cannedand like or at least season two
of it got canned.
I own, own the IP, so it's neverover until I say it's over.
But here's a point I'm tryingto make, which is this constant
(09:51):
cycle of starting a hundred, athousand different things,
because that's what this job is.
You start a thousand differentthings.
You go on my notes pad rightnow there's a thousand different
things that I wanna get going.
(10:12):
Maybe I give 10 of those enoughwater and energy and thought
and resources to become, I don'tknow, a post on Instagram, um,
a conversation with a potentialproducer, a few words in a
(10:37):
Google doc.
Maybe out of those 10, two ofthem actually materialize into
something that somebody elsegets to experience, somebody
else gets to watch or listen toor look at or read.
(10:59):
Those two if I'm lucky, onegets, one has.
It attracts the audience, theresources, the team, the
schedule, the people puttingthings aside in their life to
prioritize it, both the peoplewho make it and the audience.
(11:20):
Maybe one out of 100 of thoseout of of a thousand of those in
my notes pad, maybe 0.1% get tohave life in the way that this
show has had life for the lastyear and more times than not Dev
(11:43):
, bootcamp, rap, shit, directDeposit, whatever more times
than not, somebody else gets tomake the decision about whether
or not one year is enough.
(12:07):
Important thing, like the mostspecial thing about this process
for me, has been learning thatwe can build something like this
.
We can put it, we can put itdown to rest and, if and when we
decide to, we can pick it backup to continue, and that's kind
(12:30):
of like that's been.
If I'm being honest, that'sbeen the biggest life lesson for
me in the last few years,especially the last year, which
is that all these things that weattach our identities to, all
these things I attach every timeI take on a project and it
means so much.
I tie a little bit of myself toit, a little bit of my identity
(12:54):
to it, a relationship, afriendship that means so much to
me.
A piece of myself, a piece ofhow I see myself, is attached to
(13:15):
the health and existence ofthat thing.
And the big learning for me inthis last year has been all of
these things ebb and flow, allof the things come and go, the
things come and go, but like thelife is the thing, like the
whole life, the whole series ofcycles and patterns and
relationships and connectionsmade, and trying and failing and
(13:36):
hurting from the failing andgetting excited again about the
next thing, like that's thething.
Like that's the thing that hasbeen, that's the thing that has
been, that's the thing that I amright now having to sit still
with, which is difficult for meand accept, is that like there,
you don't, there is no place,there is no point where you turn
(13:59):
the paper and get a grade.
There is no, you can't get an Abecause it's every day, it's
nonstop.
It's waking up in the morningand doing your chores, feeding
your dog, taking her on a walk,working out, talking to your
colleagues, doing your fuckingtaxes.
It's nonstop.
(14:20):
There is no end point, likethere is for these projects, for
these companies, for thiswhatever.
And I think, like I'm learning,that finding joy in that stuff
is the thing that's going tosustain me, to let me keep doing
my job and make art for as longas I want to.
(14:40):
Okay, well, that wasn't what wecame to talk about, so let's
talk about what we came to talkabout First Sips Coffee.
All right, let's talk about JCole.
Ready, let's do it.
So J Cole is an artist who I amnot a fan of.
(15:04):
I think he is a talented rapper.
I think he has some insightfulthings to say, Although, like
most rappers, I think, like mostpeople who garner a lot of
(15:25):
attention, I think he sometimessays things that are commonly
understood, but the delivery isthe thing that you know is what
attracts people or an audienceto reflect on it or to say that
it's special himself.
(15:47):
In some ways, I would say, intoa rap beef with Kendrick Lamar
by walking around recording forthe last couple of years and
talking about how he's the bestperson out there rapping, which,
as far as rap is concerned, asfar as, like competitive sports
or art forms are concerned, thatis as well as saying compete
(16:14):
with me.
To say I'm the best is to sayprove me wrong.
I think.
I think that's what it pointsto.
Words, words, I think,sometimes say things and other
times they point to two otherthings that could be said.
And when you say I'm the best,what you're pointing at is to
say and none of you guys are asgood as me.
Obviously, that's what the bestmeans and Kendrick Lamar
(16:40):
decided to take the challenge.
Challenge accepted and he saidall right, cool, let's do this.
That's what he said on Futureand Metro's album that came out
two weeks ago.
He said come on, let's do thisWith a verse on like that.
He said let's go.
He said let's get it, boy.
I think those are his exactwords.
Let's get it, bro.
That's what he said.
Okay, let's get it, bro.
And that means let's get it.
(17:04):
I'm about to go play basketballafter this.
You go to the basketball court.
I'm about to go play basketballafter this.
You go to the basketball court,you shoot for teams.
Everybody's stretching andgetting ready, whatever, blah,
blah, blah.
At some point somebody says,okay, y'all, let's get it.
Like, let's go, let's bump.
(17:24):
And that is the signal thatmeans we will all be frenzies
again after this.
But for now, let's do this,let's find it.
Let's see who's better today,let's see who is the best today.
That doesn't honestly meanyou're the best forever.
It doesn't mean, as timeunfolds, we will look at it all
(17:48):
differently.
No doubt there was a time whena lot of people thought Nas won
his rap beef with Jay-Z.
Now there's most people, Ithink, believe Jay-Z won it
because Jay-Z went on to havethe bigger career that continues
today.
I mean, they're both stillmaking music, but time will
change the way that we look atthese things.
But for now, like today,kendrick was saying let's get it
(18:11):
, bro, let's see who's reallylike that.
That was supposed to be thebeginning, the opening, the
unfolding of oh great, theseguys are going to make great
music and spar Kendrick Drake, jCole and I thought I was well
within my rights to believe itwould be great music, because
(18:33):
the first song that reallylaunched this thing was like
that, which I believe is stillnumber one, and it is in fact a
great song.
It's a song that I listened to.
I have listened to severaldozen times since it came out.
I have only listened to JCole's diss of Kendrick Lamar
two times and those were on theday that the diss came out,
(18:54):
which was on Friday.
J Cole released a surprise albumand the last track on the album
last track, maybe that was thepenultimate, can't remember is a
Kendrick Lamar diss.
That's what it is.
He makes fun of KendrickLamar's discography.
He says his canon is lacklusterand that he doesn't make enough
(19:18):
music and that he's too shortto fight or to reach J Cole and
Drake and that he's boring.
Oh my God, j Cole called himboring.
I thought that was particularlyunselfaware for J Cole to say
that someone else's music putspeople to sleep, but also, while
(19:40):
doing so, he said in so manywords, pretty specifically, like
I don't want to do this withyou.
Well, in the verses he's sayingI don't want to have to fight
you, but I'll do it because you,you threw yourself out there,
you threw me out there.
You said we're gonna do this.
(20:00):
You said let's get it, bro.
J cole comes back on sundaynight.
I want to say at his ownfestival, on stage, sitting in
in a chair, and he says,paraphrasing I wish I had not
put that track out, I wish I hadnot dissed this guy.
I love this guy, this is my guy, he's great.
(20:20):
Don't you guys think he's great?
He says don't you guys thinkhe's one of the greatest artists
of all time?
And everybody cheers blah, blah, blah.
He's big up in Kendrick and inso many ways he was.
I've said in so many, too manytimes today.
He was retreating.
This was a retreat, this was.
I have put this track out thereto plant my flag and now I'm
(20:43):
taking my flag down because Idon't want to.
As he put it himself it himself,he has not enjoyed living with
knowing that he has entered hisentry in this beef, in this
sparring, in this back and forth.
He doesn't like it, he's notfeeling it, it hurts him.
He's not sleeping well theseare his words not sleeping well.
(21:06):
He doesn't like getting textsfrom all of his friends talking
about what are you going to do,do you want to do something to
him?
Et cetera.
So he doesn't like having hisphone blow up with people.
Also, I can't, I'm not going tolie.
I think it's kind of crazy Ifyou are like somebody's, let's
say, if you're somebody's likeseventh closest friend or even
(21:28):
10th closest contact, I thinkit's pretty crazy if you see
someone get thrown intosomething like a public spat
like this.
I cannot relate to the personwho would reach out and be like
yo, are you okay, do you needanything?
Because to me I'm talking aboutthe 10th friend.
Now, if I'm somebody's fourthclosest friend, or first or
(21:53):
seventh even, that makes alittle more sense.
But once you're like talkingabout the third or fourth ring
of the circle the outer, outer,outer it is crazy to me that
somebody that is so obviouslysomeone trying to salaciously
enter your space to get afirsthand look at your anguish
(22:14):
so that they can say to theirfriends and remember later on I
was there, I was a part of the JCole thing, but anyway, it's a
digression.
I just think that's crazy.
That's weird as shit of shitthe internet, the podosphere,
(22:43):
the blogosphere is full.
It's a wash.
It is overflowing withreactions to J Cole retreating
or trying his best to from thissparring.
Here's the very first thing thatI want to say, and it's
important because at the end ofthis, if I have some time, I
want to talk about things that Ihave learned from this first
100 episodes of doing this show,this first 100 episodes of
(23:06):
self-producing something of thissize.
And you guys might say I don'tknow how you guys see this thing
.
Honestly, that's like that hasbeen a real learning for me is
people don't know how otherpeople see them.
We're going to talk aboutZendaya.
Yes, we're going to talk aboutZendaya and what she says about
being cast as a high schoolerover and over and being happy to
finally be cast as an adult, asshe said, because, as you said
(23:30):
which is ironic, because shedidn't even go to high school,
which I thought was funny.
But first thing I want to sayhere is and this was actually a
point that TJ Theo brought up tome and a shield.
This cannot be.
This is a learning for me andthis cannot be understated.
(23:53):
We all know in theory thateverything is promo, as far as
publicly issued statements andactions and social media
behaviors.
It's all promotion forsomething.
It might be promotion forpeople to follow you.
It might be promotion for aproject you have coming out
(24:14):
later.
As I think through everythingI'm going to be doing from now
until February when my bookcomes out.
Now, some of those things aregoing to be artistically pure,
because I have an interest and Ithink there's something cool
that I can make or curiositythat I want.
There's a skill set I want tobuild.
There's a curiosity.
I have an interest and I thinkthere's something cool that I
can make or curiosity that Iwant.
There's a, there's a skillset Iwant to.
I want to build.
(24:35):
There's a curiosity I have.
There's something that I wantto offer to the audience.
Um, but it does not lose methat the context for me along
the way always is I want tocontinue to build the audience.
I want to continue tostrengthen my connection to the
audience, to understand whatthey like and what I can offer
(24:58):
them.
And I am going to be selling aproduct very soon, a book, and
so, in that regard, everything Ido, whether I like it or not,
everything that I do publicly,is in some way promotion for
that book.
It is going to affect theoutcomes of whether or not
(25:22):
people are going to buy thatbook, and the outcomes of
whether or not people buy thatbook are going to be important
to the outcomes of what I'm ableto do next, what kind of
resources I have to do, what Ineed to do next.
That's obvious.
Maybe I don't know.
Sometimes, even if something'sobvious, it's nice to just lay
it out there so that we can lookat it.
(25:46):
But TJ made the point that itcannot be dismissed, that it
cannot be forgotten oroverlooked that J Cole put this
diss track out.
It got people like me who donot care about J Cole to go
listen to J Cole's album.
I have never, and I probablywill never again I have never
(26:09):
listened to a J Cole album thefirst day it came out Never.
I think he's got seven albums Ihave never listened to a J Cole
album the first day it came outNever.
I think he's got seven albums.
I have never pressed play onone of those albums on day one.
I have probably never pressedplay on one of those albums on
day two, I think for one ofthose albums, the one that came
out maybe like two years ago, Ilistened to it within the first
(26:30):
week.
But by and large me the J Colenon-fan, but the hip-hop fan, I
am not on time for a J Colealbum ever.
And that track because I wokeup with texts already from my
friends saying J Cole respondedto Kendrick and that Kendrick
response happened to be on hisalbum.
(26:51):
That got me to go help run hisnumbers up.
So that was very clever J Cole.
Now that in and of itselfdilutes what was going to be and
I'm glad Tweeze pointed it outbecause I would have overlooked
that.
That dilutes what was going tobe.
(27:14):
My overall feeling, which I'llget to here as point two, about
this recantment, about thisretreat that J Cole just did, my
point was going to be this Iknow that this is against the
rules of rap.
I know that what J Cole did wasagainst the rules of rap.
(27:35):
You are not allowed to put outa diss track dissing someone
that you're in an active rapbeef with and then apologize and
say this was bothering myemotions too much.
I don't want to be part of this, you're not and you will be
docked points accordingly, andthose points, I believe, should
come in the form of um.
(27:58):
We should not take and this is avery grave indictment on a
rapper specifically we shouldnot henceforth take seriously
what it is that you say to us inyour rap music, because you
have now proven to us that yourconviction is shaky, your
(28:18):
conviction wavers.
The words you're saying may notbe words that you believe in
and that you want to standbehind, and that is, in my
opinion, an extremely damning,that is, an extremely damning
indictment on a rapper whobrands himself as being real and
transparent and always tellingus the truth, and so he's going
to pay the cost, he's going topay the tax on that in career
(28:41):
ways, no matter what.
There's almost no way aroundthat, as far as I see it.
And sometimes, what is good foryou and what is good for your,
(29:22):
sometimes what's good for youthe person and what's good for
you the career, and what'svaluable or even placating for
your audience.
Sometimes those things are atodds and you have to choose
yourself.
I think this goes for everysingle human being and let's
take it.
Let's take audience out of it.
Let's just say what you wantand what people want from you.
Sometimes those things are atodds and you have a choice to
make.
In those instances, and youhave a choice to make, in those
(30:04):
instances, you can sacrificeyourself or you can sacrifice
the trust that you've built withsomeone else because you are
changing your mind in a way thatis going to destabilize them
and it's going to throw them andit's going to make them feel
misled.
But that's what you feel.
That's where you're at and youlive with the consequences.
J Cole might have slept muchbetter that night.
And sleep, as I read in Toolsof Titans, tim Ferriss' book, as
said by some other philosopherI don't know who he was quoting
but sleep ultimately, isn't thatgood sleep?
(30:25):
Isn't that ultimately the goalof all of this?
He might've slept better thatnight and and he may have paid
for it by pulling the rug outfrom under his audience and from
us.
His non-audience clicks, sexopportunity, power, and it is a
(31:23):
nonstop cycle of him making thattrade and at this point I don't
know who the person is underthere at all anymore and J Cole
chose the opposite.
I can say a hundred differentthings about him looking weak,
(31:45):
about him being a punk which iswhat I've seen people say, and
much worse.
But what I can't say, eventhough he did fray the trust,
what I can't say as he sat inthat chair, is that I can't say
that he didn't look like that.
He looked uncomfortable withhis choice.
I cannot say that.
(32:07):
And he chose selfishness.
He is not going to give us therat beef that reverberates.
We'll probably get that fromKendrick and Drake.
That would be my estimation.
But J Cole says I'm not going toparticipate, I'm not a circus
clown, I am not going to giveyou guys what you want just
because you want it.
(32:27):
It's not working for me.
And as much as j cole is therapper who I do not even like
out of the three of these guys,that is, I think, the thing that
connects him to the everyperson, which is that that's the
choice that I think most peoplehonestly would sit well with if
(32:48):
it were them in that samepredicament.
People are not built for longlasting feuds and tension.
Those things break us apart,they hurt us, break us apart,
they hurt us.
They're the antithesis to thepoint of this whole thing.
So, in that way, I am not goingto judge J Cole, the person,
(33:10):
for what he's done here, but Idon't think I will ever be, ever
be a J Cole fan of the music.
Okay, lastly, morgan wanted meto tell you all she supports J
Cole and his choices, and isn'tthis what we want from people?
I'm paraphrasing, I hope I'mnot misquoting her, but isn't
this what we want from people?
(33:31):
Is to be vulnerable andapologize when they feel that
they have misstepped.
Okay, last thing here, and Idid this in reverse order I
think I actually did thelearnings from the show first,
and then J Cole, and now we'regoing to go to.
(33:56):
Zendaya had a catch up lastnight with a famous person, and
I signed an NDA for that catchup, and so I cannot speak
specifically on it.
I can't, even I.
I signed an NDA.
There's only one part of thatconversation that I think is
relevant here, which is that, um, people don't.
(34:20):
People don't know how they areseen.
There's complete distortionbetween the way we see ourselves
, the way we think other peoplesee us and how people actually
see us.
And I think sometimes we keepthat distortion there on purpose
, because when we get too closeto seeing how other people see
(34:43):
us, it is extremelyuncomfortable.
Have you ever accidentally reador been sent a text about
yourself that was meant to besent to someone else, about you?
That is an example of thisphenomenon.
It is so, no matter what,whether good, bad or otherwise,
(35:04):
more often than not it isuncomfortable to see the tone,
the language, the point of viewthat other people use when they
are talking or writing orspeaking about you, and they
think you're not present, whichis why we're not supposed to
have that information.
Think you're not present, whichis why we're not supposed to
(35:26):
have that information.
Now Zendaya says in a Vogueinterview, quote unquote I'm
always in a high schoolsomewhere.
She says and mind you, I neverwent to high school, so to break
away from that was refreshingand it was also kind of scary
because I was like I hope peoplebuy me as my own age, own age,
(35:49):
a couple of things on that andalso Zendaya's history of being
seen as a kitty Zendaya's, Ithink, much younger than me, I
don't know how much younger thanme, maybe like eight years, I
don't know.
But what I can say?
Somebody says happy 100thChatty.
Thank you, I don't know whothat is, but thank you.
What I can say is I also havethat thing where people think
I'm younger than I am forever.
(36:10):
Frankly, I think a lot ofpeople of color have that thing.
I think there's like some levelof actually I don't even know
Let me not try to make this somesort of social commentary.
It's either just that, like ourskin looks good for a long time
and our features look young orold.
People be looking wrinkly andold, and probably it's probably
(36:31):
the combination of both, but asa result, people always think
I'm younger than I am.
They also often think blackteens are more adult, they are
treated more as adults um thanusual.
So there is race stuff in there, there's racism in there, but
regardless, here's my point,here's my point.
Here's my point.
You don't get to choose howother people see you, no matter
(36:56):
how, no matter what you do.
And I came into this show thisis a full circle moment.
I came into this show this is afull circle moment, but that
(37:18):
had like the almost like thatlittle like sheen of the things
that are quote-unquote, likereal, like official, like this
is a real show.
We do this in a studio withmicrophones and cameras and
lighting and all these otherthings.
(37:39):
This is real.
This is real and as real.
You got to spend money, you gotto have sponsors, you got to
have amp attached and Amazon.
You got to have an executiveproducer over there who you got
to run things by.
Like that's what real is.
And the cycle, like theevolution of doing this show and
(37:59):
making it this far to 100episodes of this thing, has
taught me the lesson that, likesustaining, being back every
Tuesday and Thursday, pushingforward, doing an episode even
when you're broken, doing anepisode even when you're broken,
(38:20):
doing an episode even when youcannot show up as the sparkly
thing that you're trying toportray like that's the value.
And it's a full circle momentfor me, because I'm sitting in
this room right now with a ringlight, a microphone, an input
(38:41):
device, two big ass lights righthere in my home studio, with my
MacBook Pro, which is broken,hooked up like the monitor is
broken so I can't see anythingon the monitor hooked up to an
external monitor on top of asound pad and two boxes so that
it's like eye level and I have.
(39:03):
This is a home studio situationand this is the thing I'm gonna
be real with y'all.
This is the thing that I wantedto push against.
I didn't want to do it likethis.
I wanted to do it fancy and aswe did, I started to realize
(39:26):
every day there was another signpoking me telling me the value
is not the fancy, and the restof the world is trying to tell
me that as well.
Like one day, jake Paul is goingto be the fucking president.
Y'all going to be mad, but Isaid it right here Okay, one day
Jake Paul is going to be thepresident and somebody else out
(39:49):
there who would intern in theWhite House and got their PhD in
political science and humanstudies and did all the right
moves and paid all the rightmoney to like grow through this
channel of blah, blah, blah,prestige and paperwork and yada,
yada, yada.
Like that person is going to beworking for Jake Paul and the
(40:12):
sooner that I can actually likelive in that truth and believe
it and acknowledge now I don'tmean that acknowledge like that
we need Jake Paul people to bepresident but more specifically,
that prestige value is notvalue.
Like value is value Givingsomebody something that they
(40:38):
want when they need it, everytime when they look for it.
Like, the sooner I can actually, I have had such resistance to
that idea.
I have pushed on it, pushedback against it so many times,
in so many ways the sooner thatI can fully digest it.
I think all of this, all ofthis grows in a way that will be
(41:04):
meaningful and impactful formyself and many, many, many
other people for a long time,and so that's what I'm going to
be working on during this breakbefore we come back with season
two.
Okay, last thing, all right,happy 100th episode to Morgan,
our phenomenal producer I am.
So this show very literallydoes not exist without Morgan's
(41:33):
energy, vision, tacticalexecution, kindness,
thoughtfulness, creativity,intelligence, spirit.
That is, that's just.
(41:54):
That's the number one draftpick.
I've said it before, that isjust a great person, and I'm
very thankful for how her familyhas also embraced the show and
supported and, uh, I'm so, soglad that I will get to continue
to work with producer morgan,uh, on some other things, um, so
(42:15):
, yeah, so that also I wanted tomention I said a thousand
gazillion names last week whohave been listening to the show.
But I also wanted to to add tothat list my cousin, rachel and
my brother-in-law Wesley.
It's so indicative.
You know the way that you canthank everybody in the world and
overlook your actual familysometimes.
(42:37):
So sorry about that, and Ireally appreciate you all being
supportive of this thing, and Ireally appreciate you all being
supportive of this thing.
I also, rachel, I am thankfulfor as someone else who I didn't
mention in the last time wewere sitting here, who's
listened to so much of it Timdid I mention Tim last time?
Whatever Okay, not whatever,but like I'm trying to remember
everybody as if I'm giving anOscar speech, but this is really
(42:59):
, this is really has made it funand a community to do this
thing.
What I'm going to be doing,moving forward from here until
you see me again on thisplatform, is starting pre behind
the camera a little bit, and so, as a means of practicing that,
(43:28):
I am going to be out doing someman on the street stuff, not
not not literally, but like outin the community, out in my
world, doing some very, veryshort form interviews with
people, like incredibly shortform, um, to get myself in the
habit of, you know, framing ashot, finding beauty, trying to
(43:48):
pull out what is special aboutsomebody in a very short amount
of time, cause I have an ideafor something that I can build
with that that I think is goingto be interesting to people.
And then I'll be on myInstagram nonstop, as I already
am, so talk to me there at ChadSand.
This has been Nothing butAnarchy, episode number 100.
(44:11):
Love you all.
See you guys soon.
Bye-bye.
Well, that was anticlimactic,because I don't know how to end
this.
Here we go.
End stream.
Bye-bye.
Outro Music.
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