On this episode, Chad talks about the Kansas City Chiefs parade shooting, gun control, the religious Super Bowl ads, Donald Glover vs Lil Dicky, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", and hard launching a relationship on social media.
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Executive Produced by: Chad Sanders
Produced by: Morgan Williams
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Today we are not in the studio.
Today we are in a differentstudio, which is the studio in
my house.
Penny's here.
She's wagging her tail and Ican hear her knocking at
something.
All right, let's talk theKansas City Super Bowl Parade
yesterday.
(00:29):
I'm sorry we're starting on anote like this, but it feels
important and it feels relevantif we're going to have a
conversation about sports andculture, which is what we do
sometimes on this show.
Somebody, somebody's shut upthe Kansas City Chief Super Bowl
Parade yesterday and massshootings are the sort of event,
(00:57):
they're the sort of news item,they're the sort of thing that
happens in our society.
Here in the United Statesespecially.
This was the 48th mass shootingin 2024.
Guys, gals, it's February.
There have been only about 50something days so far in
(01:18):
February and we've had 48 massmass shootings.
That's not.
That is not to include I don'tknow what you call a non-mass
shooting a shooting of a couplepeople, and more than 20 people
were wounded.
Someone was killed.
I read last night that ninechildren were hit in this mass
(01:39):
shooting.
There was another mass shootingin Atlanta at a high school.
I believe might have been amiddle school, I think it was a
high school yesterday.
Mass shootings, man, they're thetype of event that occur and in
a moment, I think we as humanswho are coping and who are
(02:02):
trying, we have our macroconcerns, we have our micro
concerns right.
So yesterday, when I find outabout this mass shooting, I do
so while I forgot exactly whereit was probably at this exact
same desk, while having a daywith myself where I'm processing
(02:23):
what it is for me to be singleon Valentine's Day for the first
time in a long time.
And I did a really good jobyesterday of like doing a ton of
work to not have so.
I didn't have to sit with thosefeelings throughout the entire
day, but they're therenonetheless, like they are there
(02:44):
there, and whether they're,whether or not I want to assign
positive, negative or otherwiseto those feelings, they were
there and then something.
So I got.
So I'm taking care of myselfthat's my job yesterday.
I'm taking care of myself andmy dog that's my job yesterday.
(03:05):
And then I see something likethis has happened that is much
bigger and much more importantand much more tragic, certainly,
than anything that's going onwith me.
And, as it happens, becauseValentine's Day wasn't the only
(03:28):
thing going on yesterday, itwould be.
Yesterday I was launching asubstack.
Yesterday I was out trying, youknow, I was taking meetings
trying to raise money for thiscompany.
Yesterday I was, you know, in afew different places, work wise,
where I needed to be present,and then you see a headline like
this.
I saw it on ESPN.
I also saw it on Reddit.
(03:50):
Those are, like you know, weall have our muscle memory apps
that we go to throughout the day.
Those are two for me, eventhough they're not apps for me,
because I'm a weirdo, I just Igo to the, to the web browsers,
or I go to like I literallypunch in ESPNcom every single
time, probably 100 times a day.
I saw it and I'm going to behonest, man Boy, am I so
(04:14):
detached at this point, so numbto the idea?
The experience of the massshooting in the United States?
There was a point in time youknow I've talked about and now
have just released a projectyearbook about an experience in
my life where I lost a reallyclose friend when I was young as
(04:38):
the result of a tragedy, a caraccident in my hometown, a
couple blocks from our highschool, and that event has
stayed with me and has in someways shaped me to find my point
of view on life and on death andeverything in between for 20
years.
And so I it's.
(05:00):
I can't pretend like I'm not,like I don't have a connection
or an empathy for the people wholost somebody or somebody's
yesterday or who are out there,who are now going to be
traumatized from that event orwho will be thinking about every
time they're in a place, apublic place, for the rest of
(05:22):
their lives.
That sound that they heard,that probably startled and
scared them, or probably atfirst they thought it was some
part of the parade or fireworksor something, and then they come
to realize that it's a silence.
It's not that I feel so divorcedfrom those people, so separate
from those people, that I can'tconnect to what they must be,
(05:42):
have been feeling and what theywill be feeling for the rest of
their lives.
It's just.
It's just that some part of ourcountry a large one, a defining
one, I would say at this pointin time has removed hope that we
will ever get this undercontrol for me, that this will
(06:07):
ever.
They have taken hope from meand from us, and from so many of
us, I would say, aside from thepurest of heart among us, the
parents, the people who've lostsomeone like this, the brave
people, the bold people, thepeople who are just so
hardheaded that they just can'twrap their head around the idea
(06:30):
that we're going to allowstupidity and ignorance and just
like an absolute disregard forhuman life, for the rest of our
country, for the rest of time.
Aside from those people, Ithink most of us have been
robbed of our hope that we'llever get this under control.
(06:52):
And so, when I saw the headline,I and I think people relate to
this I had this split seconddecision which is like sorry,
that's Penny, y'all she's.
Today Penny is doing the job ofproducing Morgan and so she's
going to chime in when she, whenshe feels moved.
But I saw it and I had to makethe split second decision that I
(07:14):
think we're making all day,every day, in this universe of
constant information influx, andmost of that information being
pain, anger, discomfort,inequality, disrespect, just
(07:36):
bullshit.
I had to like decide, like as amachine for myself how much
myself am I going to give tothis headline?
How much of my day am I goingto give to this headline?
How much?
And I and I don't know what didit.
I think it might have been thatit found me through sports,
which is supposed to be where alot of us go truly to hide from
(08:02):
this kind of stuff, to get up,to get respite, to get a break,
to get.
When people ask me now, like whydo I love football, to watch
football and basketball to anextent, the answer is like it's
meditation it is.
It gets me out of my phone, itgets me out of my feelings, like
it gives me out of my realfeelings for a little while.
(08:24):
It gets me out of my head.
It's just like I'm watching astory play out.
That means nothing.
I can project myself on it if Iwant to.
It's a dance.
There's beauty in it, it'sartistic.
There are storylines that I canfollow.
I think this is how people feelabout reality television.
(08:44):
It loosely reflects society,but not in a way that it's going
to actually cost me anything.
It's not going to make me losesleep.
It's meditation.
I get some of my best thinkingdone watching sports.
But this time, this time,tragedy came through our
(09:08):
meditative space and it found mein a way that I couldn't not
look at it.
I couldn't not think about mythree nephews who go to school
every day in this country In oneof them goes to the same school
I went to.
I couldn't not think about thefact that those people at the
(09:32):
come on y'all.
Think about who goes to a SuperBowl parade man.
Think about what the rest oflike like for a second.
Let's take out.
Let's take out something that'ssitting right there.
If you want to right.
This is Kansas City, missouri.
Let's take out the fact thatmany of the people in that
parade have probably put theirmouths, their platforms, their
(09:54):
voices and their money toundermine gun control.
Remove that.
Who cares?
That doesn't matter for asecond.
What matters is think about whogoes to a Super Bowl parade
besides the team that just wonthe Super Bowl.
Think about who cares so muchabout the Kansas City Chiefs and
(10:19):
the meditation and the respiteand the break that they give
them from the pain, relief thatthat team offers them from the
rest of what life is like formost people in this country that
they would go to a Super Bowlparade to celebrate with the
athletes that they will neverget to meet, that will never
love them the way that they lovethem, that will never even know
(10:41):
they exist, except for thismass form, this mass voice of
them yelling out how much theylove them.
Think about those people.
So here's where I'm landing withClay man, in a moment where it
feels like of prime importancefor people to be using their
(11:06):
voices.
As I'm watching other people tosee how they're using their
voices in support or not insupport of Palestine, and
thinking about how can I use myown voice to support in that way
, I feel like there's somethingthat needs to be said here
around gun control that Ihaven't said personally, and I
(11:31):
think every individual voice isimportant, and the thing that I
wanna say is like to say thatguns don't kill people.
People kill people is likefucking shark saying sharks
don't kill people, teeth killpeople.
Maybe it's the inverse of that.
I'm confused.
The point is, man, this is bad.
(11:54):
It's getting worse.
48 mass shootings in less thantwo months is dire, and we are
heading towards what?
Is it going to be?
An extremely fraught October andNovember with the upcoming
election.
If you take out all the otherstuff that you care about, if
(12:20):
you take out all the other stuffthat you lean one way or
another way about, I hope thatyou can get behind.
Let's try to keep as many of usalive as we possibly can, keep
alive those of us who areactually living, breathing human
beings on the earth outside ofother people's wombs.
Come on, man.
(12:44):
That's all I got All right.
Moving on, let's go tosomething else.
That's pretty weird.
So I'm watching the Super Bowlwith friends many and I noticed
something that I think many ofus noticed.
(13:04):
It started off this way thesecommercials there will be.
There are these commercialsthat are very tonally distinct
that come on during the SuperBowl and they often feature
images of people very normallooking, everyday people with
intense emotion on their faces.
There's some sort of copy orvoiceover that's saying
(13:28):
something like I'm gonna make itmy own version Everybody felt
lonely in the 1600s, orsomething like that.
And then it's like but you knowwho never felt lonely because
he was always with you.
And then it's the answer isJesus.
The answer is Jesus, and it'slike paid for.
(13:51):
It's somehow paid for by Jesus.
These commercials, thesecommercial spots, are extremely
expensive.
I believe that the Jesuscompany spent like probably like
20 to $30 million on their adspots during the Super Bowl and
I have wondered myself, like whois paying for these commercials
?
Now there are other commercialswith similarly grave tonal
(14:17):
shape that are then Scientologycommercials.
There are other commercialsthat are commercials for in
support of Palestine.
There are other commercialsthat are anti-Palestine or
(14:37):
anti-Hamas.
It's like you're watching andyou get a Coke ad.
It's okay.
This is extremely disorientingand this is what it's like to
live in America.
You're walking around, you geta Coke ad, then the very next
thing you get is someone tryingto pull you into their religion.
Then you get Kanye doing aselfie video on his iPhone, who
(15:01):
is talking directly to camera,right after a Jesus commercial,
and it's like I don't know howany of us are supposed to have
one extended stream of thoughtthat actually can evolve and
turn into something that isuseful to us when we are being
(15:22):
street, when we're being likesort of pulled at or like
dangled fishing hooks by so manydifferent entities at once.
The religion thing is the onethat really sticks with me here.
The religious bodies must knowthat we are all the time to
(15:43):
advertise to people.
Guys, I'm learning a lot aboutadvertising.
You wanna catch people whenthey are in extreme pain.
You wanna catch people whentheir urgency is at its peak,
and if it's not at its peak, youwant to ratchet that urgency up
for them.
You want to make it seem asthough it's at its peak.
(16:03):
You want to, quite literally,you want to make them think that
they're in more pain than theyactually are and I am not, it is
no.
It's extremely concerning to methat this is the point in time
where religious bodies that haveenormous funding know that we
(16:29):
are in extreme pain and areusing this moment to make us
feel like we're in more pain andthen try to recruit us into
their guiding bodies.
Wow, this is spicy.
I am a prayerful person.
I ascribe to a religion.
(16:49):
I am honestly, at this point intime, learning exactly what
that means to me and how thatactually, for most of my life, I
just sort of this is how I wasas a student.
If you told me what it took toget an A or get a B and move on
(17:11):
to the next thing and beeligible for basketball and make
honor roll, et cetera, etcetera, et cetera, I would do
almost the base, the most baselevel of what it took to just
keep matriculating into the nextclass of what is sort of the
elite.
I was happy to be at the bottomof the top.
I knew exactly what it wouldtake to make the basketball team
(17:34):
.
I would go to tryouts.
I'll bust my ass for one, forone tryout I would get an injury
and I would sit out the nexttwo tryouts because I knew I had
already made the team.
I would do just enough to makethe honor roll.
I would do just enough to testinto the best classes when I was
in a play.
I would go to the rehearsalsbut I wouldn't actually exert
(17:56):
myself until the dress rehearsal, right before the actual play.
Damn Morgan probably noticedthat when we did the live show
and she probably already knewthat this is what I would do I
didn't really even look at whatit was we were going to be doing
and talking about at the liveshow until probably the 48 hours
(18:19):
before the live show came.
Some of that's just because Ican't get myself motivated to do
something unless it feels reallike, unless it feels urgent.
I used to approach religionwith the same application.
(18:41):
I basically was living my lifetrying to do the minimum
required of me to get to heaven,literally Okay.
My mom says I got to go tochurch this many times a year or
whatever, or this many times amonth, like I'll do it.
Okay, I got to show everybodythat I know I got a Bible next
(19:02):
to my bed because I need y'allto know that I'll pray
performatively so that everyonein my family goes.
Hmm, when I say a prayer, Iwill show up to chapel.
Once a semester when I go tocollege, I was like I want to
get in.
It's cool if I'm the lastperson in before they shut the
door.
I just want to make the team.
(19:23):
That's how I looked at it and,frankly, I think that's how most
people.
When we say someone is a decentperson, I think that's what
we're talking about.
At the very least, they willgive someone aid if it doesn't
cost them a lot, and they willnot go out of their way to hurt
somebody else.
That's what we call I thinkthat's what we call decent.
(19:44):
I think that's what most peopleare in the world.
Honestly, I think there's asilent majority of people who
are just.
They try to do good by others.
They try not to hurt anybody.
But when they get their necktwisted up in capitalism, in
relationships, in gettingbullied by somebody else, now
(20:08):
all of a sudden they're notthemselves anymore and they
start doing some weirdo shit.
And the best people.
The bravest, the boldest peopleare the ones who continue to be
decent, even when they're inthe grips of something heinous.
I'm saying all that to say itlooks like the religions are
aware that now is a time wherethey can capitalize on how
(20:31):
afraid everybody is about what'sgoing to happen to us here, and
the news supports that.
And I don't mean like what'shappening in the news, I mean
quite literally the news.
The Superbowl is brought to youby ABC, the religious
commercial is paid, the money ispaid to the NFL and to ABC, and
(20:54):
then ABC gives you the news andscares the fuck out of you.
And I'm not saying that we arenot living in a chaotic place.
I mean, obviously I believethat this is called nothing but
anarchy.
But what I'm saying is like allof these entities are working
in tandem to make us scared, tomake us feel small, to make us
(21:15):
feel like we urgently need theirhelp, to fix something for us,
to save us.
And religion is here to do itif we pay our tithes and show up
and give our money to thepastor.
And Coca-Cola is also here todo it, because if you take a sip
you will feel better for amoment.
(21:37):
And so while I'm watching theSuperbowl by the way, I was at a
Superbowl party I showed upearly to make sure I got one of
the best seats.
I showed up an hour and a halfearly and my butt might have
left that seat three times.
And every time I moved fromthat seat my cell phone went in
my seat to make sure nobody elsetook it.
(21:58):
Everybody else is taking iteating food, doing TikTok dances
, dead ass, singing along,dancing to usher chatting, et
cetera.
Like I sat in that seat becauseI am here to see the American
spectacle, I am here to voyeur,I am here to see One is I must
(22:19):
see every single second of thisfootball game because I need to
know what's happening in thatleague.
And I must see what ishappening in those commercials
because I need to know whatwealthy people want us to want.
And what I learned that theywant us to want is religion.
(22:40):
I'm trying to make a habit ofdoing this.
I tell you all my point of view, but when my point of view is
not yet formed, I'm trying to behonest about that.
I'm sitting with religion rightnow.
The people who I have watchedascend in religious bodies are
not people I admire.
So I'm figuring out what to dowith that.
(23:01):
The people who I thought who,when I was a kid I thought, oh,
the deans, the pastor, thosemust be good people.
Now I'm an adult and I know thepastor, I know the deans, I
know the deacons I don't know,sorry, deacons, I'm saying deans
and I mean deacons, but like,and I now can see the people who
(23:22):
were the pastors and thedeacons when I was a kid, with
clear eyes.
I'm not saying that they're badpeople, but they're people.
Not, as far as I can see,conduits to the real answers
around what will get you intoheaven and what makes you a good
person, not conduits directlyto whoever or whatever is the
(23:46):
wider, the bigger thing here,but people who had the same
urgencies and fears and needsand needs to be seen and needs
to fill ego and needs to be paidand capitalistic wants and
desires as you and I.
And so let me put a fine pointon it.
I'm raising money right now forthis.
(24:08):
All of this, here's, this, thisis black magic back there, this
, the larger, this.
I'm raising money for the wholemachine, the whole operation.
I want, I need marketing money,I need to be able to pay my
team.
I need to be able to pay myself.
I need to be able to grow.
I need to be able to find newmarkets, I need to be able to
try new things, experiment allthe things.
I'm raising money for it.
(24:31):
And before I have eachconversation, I find myself
going down this little rabbithole of like, oh, I got to make
sure I have every single youknow answer sewn up so tightly
and the math has to work and gotto have every detail you know,
every T crossed and every Idotted, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.
And then I pull myself out ofthat for a second and I'm like
wait a second.
Every Sunday, across thisentire country, across every day
(24:58):
, across this entire world,people are filling up buildings,
hundreds, thousands, tens ofthousands filling up buildings
and paying someone who istelling them I'm going to help
you improve your life because Ihave a relationship with God.
(25:22):
That's the message and that'swhat people will go and pay
their money to.
I'm sitting over here, sittingon top of you know fast company
articles about the creatoreconomy and how many billions of
dollars and what percentage ofcreators are turning a profit,
and yada, yada, yada.
I'm like hold on hold, on hold,on hold, on hold on.
(25:44):
I'm missing the point here.
The point is, if someonebelieves it's not a math problem
, it's not a homework assignmentlike belief is about do they
feel the pain and do they thinkyou can help?
Now for what I do.
A math problem is not going totell you that I'm good at it.
(26:07):
Like, a math problem is notgoing to tell you that what we
have here is a value.
We saw on last Thursday thatwhat we have here is a value.
We can create a room full ofpeople that feel seen and have a
good time and leave feelingbetter than they showed up.
We can share information.
We can lift the hood up onsomething that's it's lying
about a lot.
(26:27):
We can entertain.
That's all valuable.
I'm not saying what people getwhen they go and pay their time
isn't valuable, but I don'tthink that the church spends a
whole lot of time sitting overan Excel file trying to figure
out making sure that thosepeople are going to get a return
on their investment.
So why am I doing that?
I really mean that shit.
Okay, moving on, let's talkabout let's talk about Donald
(26:53):
Glover and Meyer Erskine.
I don't know.
I watched Mr and Mrs Smith.
Have any of you all watched Mrand Mrs Smith?
I can't see you, but I bet acouple of you have.
Mr and Mrs Smith is an eightpart mini series, I believe, on
Amazon Prime.
(27:13):
Maybe it's a series, maybethey'll be second season.
It is a TV formatted seriesbased on the Brad Pitt and
Angelina Jolie Mr and Mrs Smithof.
I don't know.
It probably came out 10, 15years ago, more than 10, sorry,
probably came out 20 years ago.
(27:34):
It features Donald Glover as aspy, meyer Erskine as a spy, and
the show is, on its face, Ithink, about two people who are
mandated into marriage for thisjob opportunity as spies.
(27:56):
And then it's.
The show chronicles how theirrelationship changes shape over
time because of their competingneeds.
Donald Glover's character wantsto feel loved.
He wants to feel seen.
He's a mama's boy.
He is not comfortable withbreaking ties to his family,
(28:21):
particularly his mom, for thesake of this job, which is a
requirement of the job.
He wants to be a father.
Meyer Erskine's character orErskine, I'm sorry, meyer
Erskine.
If it's Erskine, I'm going tosay Erskine.
Meyer Erskine's character andMeyer Erskine, who you might
know as one of the two leads.
She was the Asian of the twoleads on the show Pin 15, which
(28:42):
I watched and it was very funny.
Her character is more alphaoriented.
She wants to climb the ladderat the company that these two
spies work for.
She wants to challenge herselfprofessionally.
She wants to be thought of asgreat.
She wants to be thought of asleader.
She wants to be the leader andthe alpha between the two of
(29:02):
this couple.
She does not have any hang-upswith being disconnected from her
family.
She doesn't want to be aroundher family.
And what I like about the showis, as someone who was recently
in a long term relationship.
I think it deals well with thenuances of the fabric of a
(29:33):
relationship and the ways thatthat fabric deteriorates over
time.
Because people can sacrificefor each other, they can change
their accoutrements, they canchange some of their habits, but
they can't change who they are,and that's what's underneath
this show.
But I think what the show wantsto say as its promise is that
(29:56):
even if you can't change who youare, you can still do right by
your partner, love your partner,care for your partner, despite
the fact that you can't changeyourself.
Okay, the show does a good jobof that.
Artistically very beautiful.
I think the show starts slowand I think it blows the ending.
But what's in between?
(30:16):
I would say probably the fiveepisodes in the middle of this
show to me are very strong, veryenjoyable.
There's a lot of left hooksthat you don't see coming and
the show's voice stays the samethroughout.
It's consistent in a way thatfeels good.
I also like watching a New Yorkshow about people who look you
know they are supposed to belike this sort of semi-bougie
(30:41):
millennial organic food eating.
They have a beautiful place inFort Green.
It's a black guy and an Asianwoman.
Like the advertisers, theythink they are presenting us
back to ourselves.
That's what the show means todo.
My hang up with the show if I'mbeing super real, which I'm
(31:04):
going to be is I do not see achemistry between these two
characters.
They do not feel connected tome.
I don't see a spark betweenthem.
When they kiss I almost want tolike.
I'm almost like gross becauseit doesn't feel real.
I know I'm watching two peopleforce themselves to kiss each
(31:26):
other and I know that that'spart of acting, but that's not
how it's supposed to happen inacting.
It doesn't look real.
The whole thing, the whole vibebetween them.
Yes, and I've had people try tomake arguments to me why it's
real.
One of those arguments put I'mlaying on its face what people
have said to me is well, youguys do love Asian women and I'm
(31:49):
like.
I'm like, hold on, slow down,slow down.
First of all, who is you guys?
A couple of people have been sospecific as to say black guys.
I'm like, hold on Now.
First of all, that isunnecessarily specific.
(32:14):
Asian women are the most highlyindexed click receivers on
dating apps across dating apps.
I think that has to do withfetishization and obsession with
something that feels or seemsexotic.
(32:36):
Black guys are also extremelyfetishized, but it all seems
aside from the point.
I just didn't see connectionbetween these two people.
Like I don't think that's whatthey were going for here.
I think they cast two peoplethat they knew could do the job.
I think one of at least one ofthose people maybe both of them
(32:59):
were executive producers on theproject, so they cast themselves
Formerly.
They were supposed to besomeone else in that role,
playing up against Donald Glover, and she left because of
creative differences.
I can't remember what her nameis, but she was the writer and
star of Fleabag.
I just think it didn't.
I just think they didn't workfor me on screen as a couple,
like I didn't see it.
(33:19):
I didn't.
It didn't feel real.
And if you want to make a showabout a couple I feel like
square one that you got to coveris they need to be believable
as a couple, like they have to.
I'm doing the Love Project LoveProject this is a plug Substack.
My substack's called Bonfire.
(33:40):
You can find my project LoveProject.
It's the only project on mysubstack because I just launched
it yesterday.
You can find the link to it toplink in my link here on my bio.
I'm doing nonstop Q and A's.
That is a big part of thisproject is a conversation with
the audience about Love Peopleare at.
Some people have asked me inthat, in that channel, in those
(34:02):
Q and A's like what are youattracted to, what attracts you
about a person?
I think attraction for mostpeople starts with something
that is visual.
That is not to say that.
That's not to say attractioneven is visual, because I really
(34:26):
don't think it is.
I think once you get aroundsomebody, once you get close
enough to actually see how twopeople vibrate and how they move
around each other and how they,like you know where the sparks
are.
That's where the attraction is,but like it starts visually, I
don't even think you'll let someI personally don't even let
someone in close enough to me inthat regard unless I first
(34:51):
visually see something that isinteresting to me about that
person, that makes me want tosee what's up there.
And so when I watched the show,I didn't see that between these
two actors, and so that killedthe show for me.
I'm not gonna lie to you all, Istill liked it, I still thought
it was smart, but like it's TV,it's a visual format.
(35:15):
I care about how things look.
And the two leads in a show thathad Mr Guys the first two leads
in the show were Brad Pitt andAngelina Jolie.
Okay, in the movie, like that'swhat the launching point is for
this.
Like, eurocentrism aside, twoextremely beautiful people as
(35:37):
far as I'm concerned.
So if you wanna follow up tothat, I know you're trying to do
the every man thing and make itlook like the rest of us, but
like, come on Now, why is thiscoming up?
Because the two of them did aconversation with Vanity Fair
(35:59):
and a comparison was madebetween the show Atlanta, donald
Glover's TV series and the showDave, which is, as far as I'm
concerned, sort of like a whiteboy copycat version of Atlanta.
People tell me that the show isgood.
I was offered a conversation towrite on the show Dave.
(36:21):
I did not have an interest inthat.
I, on premise alone, did notfeel excited about I don't.
Okay, let me be precise here.
I don't like a show.
I watched the pilot of Dave andso if the show changes and
becomes something different asit goes along, fine.
I don't like a character or ashow that is meant to make fun
(36:54):
of the idea of rap or rappers asserious or unserious.
That is to say, the first timeI was introduced to Little Dicky
, who goes by Little Dicky,which is already on its face,
and a name that is meant to pokefun of the names of rappers.
I saw him on, I believe, theBreakfast Club and he was being
(37:21):
asked about why he wants to be arapper and what rap means to
him and his place in all of it,and the entire conversation
around Little Dicky is so muchnot about music Like.
What I liked about him and himwas that he was here to rap.
(37:42):
He wasn't here to say, oh look,how funny I'm a white guy doing
rap.
Sometimes he would incorporatethat in the music because, like,
he was self aware, but hiswhole it wasn't a shtick.
He didn't come to rap.
He didn't come to hip hop tolike.
He didn't come to hip hop to bea mirror to us, to say, like,
(38:04):
oh look, how silly rap is, lookhow it looks when a white guy
does it.
Like, no, he came to rap and herapped his ass off.
There's a couple, there is a Ishouldn't say a couple.
There is a little Dicky songthat I like.
I just want to put that outthere, but I cannot look at that
guy's face for a whole seriesof this thing.
I can't do it and I certainlywasn't gonna be able to sit in a
(38:28):
chair and write for the setshow.
Donald Lover feels and he hasmade it clear multiple times he
feels insulted when he iscompared to little Dicky or when
his show is compared to littleDicky's show.
In an interview he did withInterview Magazine I believe it
was called an interview thatDonald Lover wrote with himself
it's like Donald Lover interviewwith Donald Lover.
(38:50):
It was promo for the lastseason of Atlanta he says, and
I'm paraphrasing like don'tcompare my show to that show.
You don't compare an artisanal,you know antique cheeseburger
to something that you get atBurger King and McDonald's.
That's what he said inSomingward.
He wants us to know.
Stop it.
(39:10):
I don't like being compared tothis guy.
We are different and I canunderstand why he would feel
that way.
One is that the show's premisefelt very much chasing the
premise of Atlanta, and I saythat as someone who wrote for
Ratshit.
So like I can see what I cansee.
(39:32):
But also I think Donald Loverand like I know many of you have
a point of view on how DonaldLover sees himself, even within
blackness, and whether or not hesees himself within blackness
or aside from blackness, or acommentator or a spectator on
blackness, whatever Like.
However you guys feel aboutthat, that's yours.
(39:54):
But what I can understand is,as Donald Lover, who is a person
with black skin who writes andmakes TV series about the black
experience in many ways, even Mrand Mrs Smith tries to drop in
some little moments of DonaldLover saying something about
(40:16):
what it is to be this black manrunning around town with this
half Asian, half white woman,one you don't want your show,
which is excellent, to becompared to another show that
you might find to be lessexcellent, but two, you just
don't want, I just don't wantanybody bopping around playing
(40:40):
on the fact that their thing isthe white version of my thing.
Because then how am I going tofeel when their thing, as the
quote, unquote white version ofmy thing, has a bigger audience
just on the face of its leadcharacter being a white guy?
How am I going to feel when Iwatch the show?
If he even has watched the show, which I kind of doubt but how
(41:03):
am I going to feel?
I know how I felt when I watchedthe pilot of that show and it
felt like the voice of that showwas just saying look at the
juxtaposition between me, agoofy, harmless white guy, and
these serious rap guys, theseserious black rap guys with
dreadlocks you know what I mean?
(41:24):
Like look at me and their world.
How goofy is that how it setsus up as props against us.
It sets up our whole thing, ourwhole environment, as props
against that.
I don't like it.
I don't think I think too often.
I feel like when and I'm goingto generalize when white people
(41:50):
are giving commentary on the rapor hip hop environment and the
blackness that's a part of it.
What they're saying I felt thisway about Macklemore.
I felt this way about I'm goingto pop some tags and I only got
$20 in my pocket.
You're making, you're pointingout something about this culture
, which is that people spendcrazy money they don't have on
(42:15):
jewelry and clothes to makethemselves feel better, but you
don't.
You're not saying anythingabout.
Why are they not alreadyfeeling good?
Why do they not already feel ahigh level of self worth?
Why do they not?
Why do they feel insecure in away that they need to spend
money?
They don't have to fill up thathole.
They're just saying look howhigh my confidence is that I can
(42:38):
go buy this shit at a thriftstore and throw it on, and I
don't, I don't need to.
I don't need a $20,000 chain.
I feel good enough with my $20chain on.
It's like I just, I just don'tlike it.
Get out, I don't like it,unless you don't get the joke,
but, m, you can stay, and thenyou can stay, little Dickie.
(43:00):
No, thank you.
Okay, we got five more minuteshere.
I'm going to do one more thing.
Okay, this is going to beplugged for my love project on
sub stack.
Go to my sub stack.
My subscriptions are extremelyinexpensive they're about as
inexpensive as you will find onsub stack because I want as many
of you all as possible to be apart of this love project.
(43:23):
I think it can appeal to anyonewho has questions or wants to
see honesty around topics withinlove, like topics like what
happens when you and yourpartner stop having sex.
What happens when you and yourpartner want to see other people
.
What happens?
Am I what?
What does it mean about me if Inever find love?
(43:44):
Does that mean I'm not worthyas a person?
Where does love go when itdisappears?
How does it come back?
How do you get it back?
Is romantic love the same asother types of love?
Are love and friendshipdifferent, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera.
That's the stuff we'reexploring, and we're exploring
it through conversations withother people, q and A's with you
(44:06):
all.
The audience and current events, pop culture, headlines, stuff
that's happening out there, allon my sub stack, bonfire, which
you could find in the top linkin my link tree on Instagram.
So I'm going to take one of thequestions that I got on
Instagram and respond to it here.
The question, the question, andit's just so crazy that we have
(44:27):
this in our society, but it iswhat it is.
We have it.
Thoughts on hard launching arelationship on Instagram.
Hard launching a relationshipon Instagram?
Now I take that to meanbecoming Instagram official.
Like thoughts on when do youshow the world, announce to the
world, show a photo of you andyour person on Instagram.
(44:51):
If you are the super secureperson who is like man, I'll
just put that photo up there andI don't care.
I guess just stop listening.
Let the rest of us talk for asecond.
Here are some of the thingsthat come with posting your
person online.
Here's some of the things thatcome with it that can be
unpleasant or that just requiressome sort of you got to deal
(45:12):
with them.
One people that you did notrealize also knew your person
now think that they are in yourrelationship with the two of you
.
They will immediately thenstart telling you the things
that they think will be nicethings to hear about your person
(45:32):
to you.
They will probably also sharewith other people who you do not
realize also know your personthat the two of you are together
.
Instagram allows you to see howmany people share a photo of you
and your person, which is, guys, really weird.
Come on, man, like, how weirdcan you say that it is when you
(45:54):
yourself have shared said photo?
I mean, what are you going todo?
You're the one who put it outin the world.
I want to be clear aboutsomething else.
I'm 35 years old.
If you date somebody who isyounger than my age, let's say
(46:15):
by three or more years, there isa likely chance and I'm kind of
a unique case because I'm onthe internet but, like, if
you're my age and you datesomebody who's in their early
30s, late 20s, mid 20s, there'sa really good chance that that
person has a different comfortand a different relationship
(46:37):
with the internet and withinternet visibility than you do,
because they are native to itin a way that we are not.
I've gotten comfortable withthe idea of people looking at me
and the idea of people knowingwhat I think about things,
seeing photos of me all the time, et cetera.
But there are a lot of peoplemy age who are still trying to
not have that veil 27 year olds,30 year olds, 32 year olds, I
(47:04):
would say.
Even these people, a lot ofthem, have lived on Twitter.
A lot of them have lived onInstagram.
A lot of them were in collegewith Twitter and Instagram.
A lot of them met their collegeboyfriend or girlfriend on
Instagram.
So just even there between ageranges, there's going to be this
(47:31):
different level of comfortabout how much of us do we put
out there as open and public asI am, generally speaking, about
my point of view, what's goingon in my work life, my emotions,
whatever.
I am really private about arelationship.
That's who I am In this loveproject.
I'm going to open up a littlebit, but mostly about what's
(47:56):
currently going on around me,because I think a relationship
belongs to two people, which isto say, neither person can
decide for the other person.
Let's think of the relationshiplike a baby.
Neither parent can decide inautonomy how much that baby
(48:18):
needs to be seen by the world.
That's what I think.
If you're lucky, the two of youare in the same place on that,
but most people aren't.
Let's be real about that.
Most people.
There's a tension betweenparents, between partners,
spouses, boyfriend, girlfriend,boyfriend, girlfriend,
girlfriend.
There's a tension around howmuch and when are we going to
(48:44):
share with people about wherewe're at together.
Maybe we think we're in twodifferent places.
That's a tension.
I talked to Morgan about thisvery briefly on the phone
earlier today and I'm going tolet Morgan speak her own piece
on this.
When you're in a newrelationship, when you tell the
(49:08):
world by way of images andcaptions that you're in a
relationship, is quite asignificant turning point
emotionally for, I think, bothpeople.
I want to say one more thingabout this and we're not really
up against the real clockbecause I'm at home there's this
(49:29):
feeling that I have, honest toGod, gotten much more used to
than I was, let's say, two yearsago.
There's this hangover.
I don't really drink like thatanymore.
Drinking sucks.
Drinking is, guys, you knowwhat I'm about to do something
so annoying people.
(49:49):
Y'all are going to be annoyedby this.
Some of you I am now the personwho doesn't really drink, who is
saying out loud the thing thatwe all know, which is that
drinking sucks.
Drinking is ass.
It is the worst way.
It is a bad drug.
(50:09):
It is the worst way to speedyourself toward a fun time, in
terms of the things that you dowhile drunk and also the ways
you pay for it in the 48 hoursthat follow, or, if you're me,
you get the flu for a week.
Drinking is so ass.
What I really want, I love,this is what I want.
(50:31):
This is going to torment you,25 to 30 year olds.
Keep telling yourselves thatdrinking doesn't suck.
Keep telling yourselves thatyou don't wake up feeling like
shit the next day, you don'tmake bad decisions, you don't
send texts you don't want tosend.
Keep telling yourselves thatit's not holding you back in
your career.
Keep telling yourselves thatit's not fucking up your
relationships.
Keep telling yourselves that,oh, it's just a couple glasses
(50:53):
of wine, it's just a shot, it'swhatever.
Whatever, I'm young, I'm havinga good time.
Keep telling yourselves that,because you know drinking is ass
, you know it's so ass, it's soass.
Anyway, you know I'm right.
Why did I say all that?
Where was I even going withthat?
I just wanted to say that tothe late 20s crowd that's in
(51:17):
this audience and the early 20scrowd.
Y'all too, like you're notexempt.
You know it.
There's other ways to have agood time, man.
There's other drugs that arelegal that you could do if
that's what you want to feel, ifyou want to take it easy a
little bit, if you want to havea breather like there's other
stuff that doesn't corrode yourorgans the same way and doesn't
make you feel like shit.
(51:37):
Oh, hangover.
That's why I said it.
I get this hangover sometimeswhen I post.
I'm getting a real sense now oflike what I knew walking into
the studio yesterday that whenwe start the real from
yesterday's episode, I know thewords that need to come out of
my mouth first are white people.
(51:59):
Do you all like mixed peoplebetter?
I knew that was a slam dunk.
As a tagline, I meant to say itas soon as we cut the mics on,
but when it got time to get tothat part, I knew exactly where
to start it.
This is good, I need to catchthem in the first three seconds
and this is going to do it.
I posted the real last night.
Morgan did a great job editingand producing it.
(52:21):
Posted the real last night wakeup, morgan texts me.
The real is going off.
It's got like 14,000 plays.
I'm going to boost it latertoday, see wherever we get it.
But I just knew.
But last night, after I postedit, I shut off Instagram and did
not open it again and went tosleep because there's this
(52:46):
feeling of ah, was I too honest?
Did I too much say the thing?
Is someone gonna accuse me ofrace baiting or being angry or
being a hotep or whatever?
The next way is that someonewill dismiss what a black person
with dreadlocks has to say.
Are mixed people gonna be madat me?
(53:09):
Are white people gonna be madat me?
Somehow or other non-mixedblack people gonna be mad at me.
Like, and I wake up with thathangover and I roll over and I'm
like I'm gonna give myself to 9am to not know, just just not
know.
And the thing is I don't evenread the comments like that to
really even be knowing.
But, like I said, instagramputs those comments that are the
(53:31):
most crazy right in your facewhen you log on.
It finds a way to get them toyou.
So there's this hangover that Ifeel every time I knew of when
we posted the JZ reel, and thosealways end up being the best
ones.
Those always end up being theones that have the crackle.
(53:51):
That gets people having somepeople having an actually
productive conversation where Ithink people are sharing their
understanding of an issue andtheir point of view.
Naturally, there's always gonnabe dickheads on there who are
just there to try to bullysomebody to get off a bad
feeling that they're dealingwith themselves, but, like,
what's really exciting is going.
(54:11):
I went in those comments today,you know.
I told myself I don't.
I went in there because Iwanted to respond to a view to
just let people know I'm here,I'm part of this conversation.
I'm not throwing a grenade andthen running away Like, if this
is something we're talking about, let's get in here together,
like let's see what's reallygoing on here.
So all of that is to say, Iguess.
(54:36):
Circling back to the first pointabout the Casey shooting and
what I want to be vocal aboutwith gun control, I have been
amazed.
Tina Fey was trying to say thisin the podcast clip that we're
gonna have to now get to in thenext episode, because I didn't
get to it here.
Tina Fey is making a point inthis podcast clip that being
(54:58):
honest can get you in trouble,and being honest and telling the
truth are two different thingsto me.
I've said this before.
Honesty, I think, is somethingthat only the speaker can really
be clear on.
It comes from, like it'sclarity, it comes from what
inside of you the truth is, likethe truth is objective
(55:19):
somewhere, like there are thingsthat are so and things that are
not so, but I can be honestabout a point of view.
I can be honest about anopinion in a way that the truth
is not malleable in that way.
But I guess what I want to sayis like I'm amazed at how much
(55:39):
lower the penalty is on the typeof honesty that I'm finding in
my voice lately.
It's so much lower than what Ithought it was.
I had friends who thought threeyears ago I had gone off the
deep end, speaking too honestlyinto microphones and on paper,
and now I feel like I'vequadrupled that.
(56:00):
And there's new opportunities,like there's new people that
want to know us.
There's new people that want meto speak.
There's new stuff.
People actually know who I am.
I don't mean like in anotoriety sense, I mean like
they actually know if they'reaware of me.
They actually know who I am.
I'm not just like spitting backat them whatever the talking
(56:23):
points are from the currentTwitter trends and that means
something to me.
That means something to me thatI think there is more space for
more honest voices out thereand I would love to see more
people jumping in that space.
Not with bullshit, not withreflecting what's already being
said, but just like what theirthing is.
(56:45):
Like what their thing is.
Okay enough, this is nothing butanarchy.
Thank you for being here.
This was episode 87.
We will see you guys on Tuesday, same time, same place next
week, 12 o'clock.
I'll be back in the studio.
Goodbye, thanks for watching.
(57:33):
I'll see you guys next week.
Today we are not in the studio.
Today we are in a differentstudio, which is the studio in
my house.
Penny's here.
She's wagging her tail and Ican hear her knocking at
something.
All right, let's talk theKansas City Super Bowl Parade
yesterday.
(00:29):
I'm sorry we're starting on anote like this, but it feels
important and it feels relevantif we're going to have a
conversation about sports andculture, which is what we do
sometimes on this show.
Somebody, somebody's shut upthe Kansas City Chief Super Bowl
Parade yesterday and massshootings are the sort of event,
(00:57):
they're the sort of news item,they're the sort of thing that
happens in our society.
Here in the United Statesespecially.
This was the 48th mass shootingin 2024.
Guys, gals, it's February.
There have been only about 50something days so far in
(01:18):
February and we've had 48 massmass shootings.
That's not.
That is not to include I don'tknow what you call a non-mass
shooting a shooting of a couplepeople, and more than 20 people
were wounded.
Someone was killed.
I read last night that ninechildren were hit in this mass
(01:39):
shooting.
There was another mass shootingin Atlanta at a high school.
I believe might have been amiddle school, I think it was a
high school yesterday.
Mass shootings, man, they're thetype of event that occur and in
a moment, I think we as humanswho are coping and who are
(02:02):
trying, we have our macroconcerns, we have our micro
concerns right.
So yesterday, when I find outabout this mass shooting, I do
so while I forgot exactly whereit was probably at this exact
same desk, while having a daywith myself where I'm processing
(02:23):
what it is for me to be singleon Valentine's Day for the first
time in a long time.
And I did a really good jobyesterday of like doing a ton of
work to not have so.
I didn't have to sit with thosefeelings throughout the entire
day, but they're therenonetheless, like they are there
(02:44):
there, and whether they're,whether or not I want to assign
positive, negative or otherwiseto those feelings, they were
there and then something.
So I got.
So I'm taking care of myselfthat's my job yesterday.
I'm taking care of myself andmy dog that's my job yesterday.
(03:05):
And then I see something likethis has happened that is much
bigger and much more importantand much more tragic, certainly,
than anything that's going onwith me.
And, as it happens, becauseValentine's Day wasn't the only
(03:28):
thing going on yesterday, itwould be.
Yesterday I was launching asubstack.
Yesterday I was out trying, youknow, I was taking meetings
trying to raise money for thiscompany.
Yesterday I was, you know, in afew different places, work wise,
where I needed to be present,and then you see a headline like
this.
I saw it on ESPN.
I also saw it on Reddit.
(03:50):
Those are, like you know, weall have our muscle memory apps
that we go to throughout the day.
Those are two for me, eventhough they're not apps for me,
because I'm a weirdo, I just Igo to the, to the web browsers,
or I go to like I literallypunch in ESPNcom every single
time, probably 100 times a day.
I saw it and I'm going to behonest, man Boy, am I so
(04:14):
detached at this point, so numbto the idea?
The experience of the massshooting in the United States?
There was a point in time youknow I've talked about and now
have just released a projectyearbook about an experience in
my life where I lost a reallyclose friend when I was young as
(04:38):
the result of a tragedy, a caraccident in my hometown, a
couple blocks from our highschool, and that event has
stayed with me and has in someways shaped me to find my point
of view on life and on death andeverything in between for 20
years.
And so I it's.
(05:00):
I can't pretend like I'm not,like I don't have a connection
or an empathy for the people wholost somebody or somebody's
yesterday or who are out there,who are now going to be
traumatized from that event orwho will be thinking about every
time they're in a place, apublic place, for the rest of
(05:22):
their lives.
That sound that they heard,that probably startled and
scared them, or probably atfirst they thought it was some
part of the parade or fireworksor something, and then they come
to realize that it's a silence.
It's not that I feel so divorcedfrom those people, so separate
from those people, that I can'tconnect to what they must be,
(05:42):
have been feeling and what theywill be feeling for the rest of
their lives.
It's just.
It's just that some part of ourcountry a large one, a defining
one, I would say at this pointin time has removed hope that we
will ever get this undercontrol for me, that this will
(06:07):
ever.
They have taken hope from meand from us, and from so many of
us, I would say, aside from thepurest of heart among us, the
parents, the people who've lostsomeone like this, the brave
people, the bold people, thepeople who are just so
hardheaded that they just can'twrap their head around the idea
(06:30):
that we're going to allowstupidity and ignorance and just
like an absolute disregard forhuman life, for the rest of our
country, for the rest of time.
Aside from those people, Ithink most of us have been
robbed of our hope that we'llever get this under control.
(06:52):
And so, when I saw the headline,I and I think people relate to
this I had this split seconddecision which is like sorry,
that's Penny, y'all she's.
Today Penny is doing the job ofproducing Morgan and so she's
going to chime in when she, whenshe feels moved.
But I saw it and I had to makethe split second decision that I
(07:14):
think we're making all day,every day, in this universe of
constant information influx, andmost of that information being
pain, anger, discomfort,inequality, disrespect, just
(07:36):
bullshit.
I had to like decide, like as amachine for myself how much
myself am I going to give tothis headline?
How much of my day am I goingto give to this headline?
How much?
And I and I don't know what didit.
I think it might have been thatit found me through sports,
which is supposed to be where alot of us go truly to hide from
(08:02):
this kind of stuff, to get up,to get respite, to get a break,
to get.
When people ask me now, like whydo I love football, to watch
football and basketball to anextent, the answer is like it's
meditation it is.
It gets me out of my phone, itgets me out of my feelings, like
it gives me out of my realfeelings for a little while.
(08:24):
It gets me out of my head.
It's just like I'm watching astory play out.
That means nothing.
I can project myself on it if Iwant to.
It's a dance.
There's beauty in it, it'sartistic.
There are storylines that I canfollow.
I think this is how people feelabout reality television.
(08:44):
It loosely reflects society,but not in a way that it's going
to actually cost me anything.
It's not going to make me losesleep.
It's meditation.
I get some of my best thinkingdone watching sports.
But this time, this time,tragedy came through our
(09:08):
meditative space and it found mein a way that I couldn't not
look at it.
I couldn't not think about mythree nephews who go to school
every day in this country In oneof them goes to the same school
I went to.
I couldn't not think about thefact that those people at the
(09:32):
come on y'all.
Think about who goes to a SuperBowl parade man.
Think about what the rest oflike like for a second.
Let's take out.
Let's take out something that'ssitting right there.
If you want to right.
This is Kansas City, missouri.
Let's take out the fact thatmany of the people in that
parade have probably put theirmouths, their platforms, their
(09:54):
voices and their money toundermine gun control.
Remove that.
Who cares?
That doesn't matter for asecond.
What matters is think about whogoes to a Super Bowl parade
besides the team that just wonthe Super Bowl.
Think about who cares so muchabout the Kansas City Chiefs and
(10:19):
the meditation and the respiteand the break that they give
them from the pain, relief thatthat team offers them from the
rest of what life is like formost people in this country that
they would go to a Super Bowlparade to celebrate with the
athletes that they will neverget to meet, that will never
love them the way that they lovethem, that will never even know
(10:41):
they exist, except for thismass form, this mass voice of
them yelling out how much theylove them.
Think about those people.
So here's where I'm landing withClay man, in a moment where it
feels like of prime importancefor people to be using their
(11:06):
voices.
As I'm watching other people tosee how they're using their
voices in support or not insupport of Palestine, and
thinking about how can I use myown voice to support in that way
, I feel like there's somethingthat needs to be said here
around gun control that Ihaven't said personally, and I
(11:31):
think every individual voice isimportant, and the thing that I
wanna say is like to say thatguns don't kill people.
People kill people is likefucking shark saying sharks
don't kill people, teeth killpeople.
Maybe it's the inverse of that.
I'm confused.
The point is, man, this is bad.
(11:54):
It's getting worse.
48 mass shootings in less thantwo months is dire, and we are
heading towards what?
Is it going to be?
An extremely fraught October andNovember with the upcoming
election.
If you take out all the otherstuff that you care about, if
(12:20):
you take out all the other stuffthat you lean one way or
another way about, I hope thatyou can get behind.
Let's try to keep as many of usalive as we possibly can, keep
alive those of us who areactually living, breathing human
beings on the earth outside ofother people's wombs.
Come on, man.
(12:44):
That's all I got All right.
Moving on, let's go tosomething else.
That's pretty weird.
So I'm watching the Super Bowlwith friends many and I noticed
something that I think many ofus noticed.
(13:04):
It started off this way thesecommercials there will be.
There are these commercialsthat are very tonally distinct
that come on during the SuperBowl and they often feature
images of people very normallooking, everyday people with
intense emotion on their faces.
There's some sort of copy orvoiceover that's saying
(13:28):
something like I'm gonna make itmy own version Everybody felt
lonely in the 1600s, orsomething like that.
And then it's like but you knowwho never felt lonely because
he was always with you.
And then it's the answer isJesus.
The answer is Jesus, and it'slike paid for.
(13:51):
It's somehow paid for by Jesus.
These commercials, thesecommercial spots, are extremely
expensive.
I believe that the Jesuscompany spent like probably like
20 to $30 million on their adspots during the Super Bowl and
I have wondered myself, like whois paying for these commercials
?
Now there are other commercialswith similarly grave tonal
(14:17):
shape that are then Scientologycommercials.
There are other commercialsthat are commercials for in
support of Palestine.
There are other commercialsthat are anti-Palestine or
(14:37):
anti-Hamas.
It's like you're watching andyou get a Coke ad.
It's okay.
This is extremely disorientingand this is what it's like to
live in America.
You're walking around, you geta Coke ad, then the very next
thing you get is someone tryingto pull you into their religion.
Then you get Kanye doing aselfie video on his iPhone, who
(15:01):
is talking directly to camera,right after a Jesus commercial,
and it's like I don't know howany of us are supposed to have
one extended stream of thoughtthat actually can evolve and
turn into something that isuseful to us when we are being
(15:22):
street, when we're being likesort of pulled at or like
dangled fishing hooks by so manydifferent entities at once.
The religion thing is the onethat really sticks with me here.
The religious bodies must knowthat we are all the time to
(15:43):
advertise to people.
Guys, I'm learning a lot aboutadvertising.
You wanna catch people whenthey are in extreme pain.
You wanna catch people whentheir urgency is at its peak,
and if it's not at its peak, youwant to ratchet that urgency up
for them.
You want to make it seem asthough it's at its peak.
(16:03):
You want to, quite literally,you want to make them think that
they're in more pain than theyactually are and I am not, it is
no.
It's extremely concerning to methat this is the point in time
where religious bodies that haveenormous funding know that we
(16:29):
are in extreme pain and areusing this moment to make us
feel like we're in more pain andthen try to recruit us into
their guiding bodies.
Wow, this is spicy.
I am a prayerful person.
I ascribe to a religion.
(16:49):
I am honestly, at this point intime, learning exactly what
that means to me and how thatactually, for most of my life, I
just sort of this is how I wasas a student.
If you told me what it took toget an A or get a B and move on
(17:11):
to the next thing and beeligible for basketball and make
honor roll, et cetera, etcetera, et cetera, I would do
almost the base, the most baselevel of what it took to just
keep matriculating into the nextclass of what is sort of the
elite.
I was happy to be at the bottomof the top.
I knew exactly what it wouldtake to make the basketball team
(17:34):
.
I would go to tryouts.
I'll bust my ass for one, forone tryout I would get an injury
and I would sit out the nexttwo tryouts because I knew I had
already made the team.
I would do just enough to makethe honor roll.
I would do just enough to testinto the best classes when I was
in a play.
I would go to the rehearsalsbut I wouldn't actually exert
(17:56):
myself until the dress rehearsal, right before the actual play.
Damn Morgan probably noticedthat when we did the live show
and she probably already knewthat this is what I would do I
didn't really even look at whatit was we were going to be doing
and talking about at the liveshow until probably the 48 hours
(18:19):
before the live show came.
Some of that's just because Ican't get myself motivated to do
something unless it feels reallike, unless it feels urgent.
I used to approach religionwith the same application.
(18:41):
I basically was living my lifetrying to do the minimum
required of me to get to heaven,literally Okay.
My mom says I got to go tochurch this many times a year or
whatever, or this many times amonth, like I'll do it.
Okay, I got to show everybodythat I know I got a Bible next
(19:02):
to my bed because I need y'allto know that I'll pray
performatively so that everyonein my family goes.
Hmm, when I say a prayer, Iwill show up to chapel.
Once a semester when I go tocollege, I was like I want to
get in.
It's cool if I'm the lastperson in before they shut the
door.
I just want to make the team.
(19:23):
That's how I looked at it and,frankly, I think that's how most
people.
When we say someone is a decentperson, I think that's what
we're talking about.
At the very least, they willgive someone aid if it doesn't
cost them a lot, and they willnot go out of their way to hurt
somebody else.
That's what we call I thinkthat's what we call decent.
(19:44):
I think that's what most peopleare in the world.
Honestly, I think there's asilent majority of people who
are just.
They try to do good by others.
They try not to hurt anybody.
But when they get their necktwisted up in capitalism, in
relationships, in gettingbullied by somebody else, now
(20:08):
all of a sudden they're notthemselves anymore and they
start doing some weirdo shit.
And the best people.
The bravest, the boldest peopleare the ones who continue to be
decent, even when they're inthe grips of something heinous.
I'm saying all that to say itlooks like the religions are
aware that now is a time wherethey can capitalize on how
(20:31):
afraid everybody is about what'sgoing to happen to us here, and
the news supports that.
And I don't mean like what'shappening in the news, I mean
quite literally the news.
The Superbowl is brought to youby ABC, the religious
commercial is paid, the money ispaid to the NFL and to ABC, and
(20:54):
then ABC gives you the news andscares the fuck out of you.
And I'm not saying that we arenot living in a chaotic place.
I mean, obviously I believethat this is called nothing but
anarchy.
But what I'm saying is like allof these entities are working
in tandem to make us scared, tomake us feel small, to make us
(21:15):
feel like we urgently need theirhelp, to fix something for us,
to save us.
And religion is here to do itif we pay our tithes and show up
and give our money to thepastor.
And Coca-Cola is also here todo it, because if you take a sip
you will feel better for amoment.
(21:37):
And so while I'm watching theSuperbowl by the way, I was at a
Superbowl party I showed upearly to make sure I got one of
the best seats.
I showed up an hour and a halfearly and my butt might have
left that seat three times.
And every time I moved fromthat seat my cell phone went in
my seat to make sure nobody elsetook it.
(21:58):
Everybody else is taking iteating food, doing TikTok dances
, dead ass, singing along,dancing to usher chatting, et
cetera.
Like I sat in that seat becauseI am here to see the American
spectacle, I am here to voyeur,I am here to see One is I must
(22:19):
see every single second of thisfootball game because I need to
know what's happening in thatleague.
And I must see what ishappening in those commercials
because I need to know whatwealthy people want us to want.
And what I learned that theywant us to want is religion.
(22:40):
I'm trying to make a habit ofdoing this.
I tell you all my point of view, but when my point of view is
not yet formed, I'm trying to behonest about that.
I'm sitting with religion rightnow.
The people who I have watchedascend in religious bodies are
not people I admire.
So I'm figuring out what to dowith that.
(23:01):
The people who I thought who,when I was a kid I thought, oh,
the deans, the pastor, thosemust be good people.
Now I'm an adult and I know thepastor, I know the deans, I
know the deacons I don't know,sorry, deacons, I'm saying deans
and I mean deacons, but like,and I now can see the people who
(23:22):
were the pastors and thedeacons when I was a kid, with
clear eyes.
I'm not saying that they're badpeople, but they're people.
Not, as far as I can see,conduits to the real answers
around what will get you intoheaven and what makes you a good
person, not conduits directlyto whoever or whatever is the
(23:46):
wider, the bigger thing here,but people who had the same
urgencies and fears and needsand needs to be seen and needs
to fill ego and needs to be paidand capitalistic wants and
desires as you and I.
And so let me put a fine pointon it.
I'm raising money right now forthis.
(24:08):
All of this, here's, this, thisis black magic back there, this
, the larger, this.
I'm raising money for the wholemachine, the whole operation.
I want, I need marketing money,I need to be able to pay my
team.
I need to be able to pay myself.
I need to be able to grow.
I need to be able to find newmarkets, I need to be able to
try new things, experiment allthe things.
I'm raising money for it.
(24:31):
And before I have eachconversation, I find myself
going down this little rabbithole of like, oh, I got to make
sure I have every single youknow answer sewn up so tightly
and the math has to work and gotto have every detail you know,
every T crossed and every Idotted, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.
And then I pull myself out ofthat for a second and I'm like
wait a second.
Every Sunday, across thisentire country, across every day
(24:58):
, across this entire world,people are filling up buildings,
hundreds, thousands, tens ofthousands filling up buildings
and paying someone who istelling them I'm going to help
you improve your life because Ihave a relationship with God.
(25:22):
That's the message and that'swhat people will go and pay
their money to.
I'm sitting over here, sittingon top of you know fast company
articles about the creatoreconomy and how many billions of
dollars and what percentage ofcreators are turning a profit,
and yada, yada, yada.
I'm like hold on hold, on hold,on hold, on hold on.
(25:44):
I'm missing the point here.
The point is, if someonebelieves it's not a math problem
, it's not a homework assignmentlike belief is about do they
feel the pain and do they thinkyou can help?
Now for what I do.
A math problem is not going totell you that I'm good at it.
(26:07):
Like, a math problem is notgoing to tell you that what we
have here is a value.
We saw on last Thursday thatwhat we have here is a value.
We can create a room full ofpeople that feel seen and have a
good time and leave feelingbetter than they showed up.
We can share information.
We can lift the hood up onsomething that's it's lying
about a lot.
(26:27):
We can entertain.
That's all valuable.
I'm not saying what people getwhen they go and pay their time
isn't valuable, but I don'tthink that the church spends a
whole lot of time sitting overan Excel file trying to figure
out making sure that thosepeople are going to get a return
on their investment.
So why am I doing that?
I really mean that shit.
Okay, moving on, let's talkabout let's talk about Donald
(26:53):
Glover and Meyer Erskine.
I don't know.
I watched Mr and Mrs Smith.
Have any of you all watched Mrand Mrs Smith?
I can't see you, but I bet acouple of you have.
Mr and Mrs Smith is an eightpart mini series, I believe, on
Amazon Prime.
(27:13):
Maybe it's a series, maybethey'll be second season.
It is a TV formatted seriesbased on the Brad Pitt and
Angelina Jolie Mr and Mrs Smithof.
I don't know.
It probably came out 10, 15years ago, more than 10, sorry,
probably came out 20 years ago.
(27:34):
It features Donald Glover as aspy, meyer Erskine as a spy, and
the show is, on its face, Ithink, about two people who are
mandated into marriage for thisjob opportunity as spies.
(27:56):
And then it's.
The show chronicles how theirrelationship changes shape over
time because of their competingneeds.
Donald Glover's character wantsto feel loved.
He wants to feel seen.
He's a mama's boy.
He is not comfortable withbreaking ties to his family,
(28:21):
particularly his mom, for thesake of this job, which is a
requirement of the job.
He wants to be a father.
Meyer Erskine's character orErskine, I'm sorry, meyer
Erskine.
If it's Erskine, I'm going tosay Erskine.
Meyer Erskine's character andMeyer Erskine, who you might
know as one of the two leads.
She was the Asian of the twoleads on the show Pin 15, which
(28:42):
I watched and it was very funny.
Her character is more alphaoriented.
She wants to climb the ladderat the company that these two
spies work for.
She wants to challenge herselfprofessionally.
She wants to be thought of asgreat.
She wants to be thought of asleader.
She wants to be the leader andthe alpha between the two of
(29:02):
this couple.
She does not have any hang-upswith being disconnected from her
family.
She doesn't want to be aroundher family.
And what I like about the showis, as someone who was recently
in a long term relationship.
I think it deals well with thenuances of the fabric of a
(29:33):
relationship and the ways thatthat fabric deteriorates over
time.
Because people can sacrificefor each other, they can change
their accoutrements, they canchange some of their habits, but
they can't change who they are,and that's what's underneath
this show.
But I think what the show wantsto say as its promise is that
(29:56):
even if you can't change who youare, you can still do right by
your partner, love your partner,care for your partner, despite
the fact that you can't changeyourself.
Okay, the show does a good jobof that.
Artistically very beautiful.
I think the show starts slowand I think it blows the ending.
But what's in between?
(30:16):
I would say probably the fiveepisodes in the middle of this
show to me are very strong, veryenjoyable.
There's a lot of left hooksthat you don't see coming and
the show's voice stays the samethroughout.
It's consistent in a way thatfeels good.
I also like watching a New Yorkshow about people who look you
know they are supposed to belike this sort of semi-bougie
(30:41):
millennial organic food eating.
They have a beautiful place inFort Green.
It's a black guy and an Asianwoman.
Like the advertisers, theythink they are presenting us
back to ourselves.
That's what the show means todo.
My hang up with the show if I'mbeing super real, which I'm
(31:04):
going to be is I do not see achemistry between these two
characters.
They do not feel connected tome.
I don't see a spark betweenthem.
When they kiss I almost want tolike.
I'm almost like gross becauseit doesn't feel real.
I know I'm watching two peopleforce themselves to kiss each
(31:26):
other and I know that that'spart of acting, but that's not
how it's supposed to happen inacting.
It doesn't look real.
The whole thing, the whole vibebetween them.
Yes, and I've had people try tomake arguments to me why it's
real.
One of those arguments put I'mlaying on its face what people
have said to me is well, youguys do love Asian women and I'm
(31:49):
like.
I'm like, hold on, slow down,slow down.
First of all, who is you guys?
A couple of people have been sospecific as to say black guys.
I'm like, hold on Now.
First of all, that isunnecessarily specific.
(32:14):
Asian women are the most highlyindexed click receivers on
dating apps across dating apps.
I think that has to do withfetishization and obsession with
something that feels or seemsexotic.
(32:36):
Black guys are also extremelyfetishized, but it all seems
aside from the point.
I just didn't see connectionbetween these two people.
Like I don't think that's whatthey were going for here.
I think they cast two peoplethat they knew could do the job.
I think one of at least one ofthose people maybe both of them
(32:59):
were executive producers on theproject, so they cast themselves
Formerly.
They were supposed to besomeone else in that role,
playing up against Donald Glover, and she left because of
creative differences.
I can't remember what her nameis, but she was the writer and
star of Fleabag.
I just think it didn't.
I just think they didn't workfor me on screen as a couple,
like I didn't see it.
(33:19):
I didn't.
It didn't feel real.
And if you want to make a showabout a couple I feel like
square one that you got to coveris they need to be believable
as a couple, like they have to.
I'm doing the Love Project LoveProject this is a plug Substack.
My substack's called Bonfire.
(33:40):
You can find my project LoveProject.
It's the only project on mysubstack because I just launched
it yesterday.
You can find the link to it toplink in my link here on my bio.
I'm doing nonstop Q and A's.
That is a big part of thisproject is a conversation with
the audience about Love Peopleare at.
Some people have asked me inthat, in that channel, in those
(34:02):
Q and A's like what are youattracted to, what attracts you
about a person?
I think attraction for mostpeople starts with something
that is visual.
That is not to say that.
That's not to say attractioneven is visual, because I really
(34:26):
don't think it is.
I think once you get aroundsomebody, once you get close
enough to actually see how twopeople vibrate and how they move
around each other and how they,like you know where the sparks
are.
That's where the attraction is,but like it starts visually, I
don't even think you'll let someI personally don't even let
someone in close enough to me inthat regard unless I first
(34:51):
visually see something that isinteresting to me about that
person, that makes me want tosee what's up there.
And so when I watched the show,I didn't see that between these
two actors, and so that killedthe show for me.
I'm not gonna lie to you all, Istill liked it, I still thought
it was smart, but like it's TV,it's a visual format.
(35:15):
I care about how things look.
And the two leads in a show thathad Mr Guys the first two leads
in the show were Brad Pitt andAngelina Jolie.
Okay, in the movie, like that'swhat the launching point is for
this.
Like, eurocentrism aside, twoextremely beautiful people as
(35:37):
far as I'm concerned.
So if you wanna follow up tothat, I know you're trying to do
the every man thing and make itlook like the rest of us, but
like, come on Now, why is thiscoming up?
Because the two of them did aconversation with Vanity Fair
(35:59):
and a comparison was madebetween the show Atlanta, donald
Glover's TV series and the showDave, which is, as far as I'm
concerned, sort of like a whiteboy copycat version of Atlanta.
People tell me that the show isgood.
I was offered a conversation towrite on the show Dave.
(36:21):
I did not have an interest inthat.
I, on premise alone, did notfeel excited about I don't.
Okay, let me be precise here.
I don't like a show.
I watched the pilot of Dave andso if the show changes and
becomes something different asit goes along, fine.
I don't like a character or ashow that is meant to make fun
(36:54):
of the idea of rap or rappers asserious or unserious.
That is to say, the first timeI was introduced to Little Dicky
, who goes by Little Dicky,which is already on its face,
and a name that is meant to pokefun of the names of rappers.
I saw him on, I believe, theBreakfast Club and he was being
(37:21):
asked about why he wants to be arapper and what rap means to
him and his place in all of it,and the entire conversation
around Little Dicky is so muchnot about music Like.
What I liked about him and himwas that he was here to rap.
(37:42):
He wasn't here to say, oh look,how funny I'm a white guy doing
rap.
Sometimes he would incorporatethat in the music because, like,
he was self aware, but hiswhole it wasn't a shtick.
He didn't come to rap.
He didn't come to hip hop tolike.
He didn't come to hip hop to bea mirror to us, to say, like,
(38:04):
oh look, how silly rap is, lookhow it looks when a white guy
does it.
Like, no, he came to rap and herapped his ass off.
There's a couple, there is a Ishouldn't say a couple.
There is a little Dicky songthat I like.
I just want to put that outthere, but I cannot look at that
guy's face for a whole seriesof this thing.
I can't do it and I certainlywasn't gonna be able to sit in a
(38:28):
chair and write for the setshow.
Donald Lover feels and he hasmade it clear multiple times he
feels insulted when he iscompared to little Dicky or when
his show is compared to littleDicky's show.
In an interview he did withInterview Magazine I believe it
was called an interview thatDonald Lover wrote with himself
it's like Donald Lover interviewwith Donald Lover.
(38:50):
It was promo for the lastseason of Atlanta he says, and
I'm paraphrasing like don'tcompare my show to that show.
You don't compare an artisanal,you know antique cheeseburger
to something that you get atBurger King and McDonald's.
That's what he said inSomingward.
He wants us to know.
Stop it.
(39:10):
I don't like being compared tothis guy.
We are different and I canunderstand why he would feel
that way.
One is that the show's premisefelt very much chasing the
premise of Atlanta, and I saythat as someone who wrote for
Ratshit.
So like I can see what I cansee.
(39:32):
But also I think Donald Loverand like I know many of you have
a point of view on how DonaldLover sees himself, even within
blackness, and whether or not hesees himself within blackness
or aside from blackness, or acommentator or a spectator on
blackness, whatever Like.
However you guys feel aboutthat, that's yours.
(39:54):
But what I can understand is,as Donald Lover, who is a person
with black skin who writes andmakes TV series about the black
experience in many ways, even Mrand Mrs Smith tries to drop in
some little moments of DonaldLover saying something about
(40:16):
what it is to be this black manrunning around town with this
half Asian, half white woman,one you don't want your show,
which is excellent, to becompared to another show that
you might find to be lessexcellent, but two, you just
don't want, I just don't wantanybody bopping around playing
(40:40):
on the fact that their thing isthe white version of my thing.
Because then how am I going tofeel when their thing, as the
quote, unquote white version ofmy thing, has a bigger audience
just on the face of its leadcharacter being a white guy?
How am I going to feel when Iwatch the show?
If he even has watched the show, which I kind of doubt but how
(41:03):
am I going to feel?
I know how I felt when I watchedthe pilot of that show and it
felt like the voice of that showwas just saying look at the
juxtaposition between me, agoofy, harmless white guy, and
these serious rap guys, theseserious black rap guys with
dreadlocks you know what I mean?
(41:24):
Like look at me and their world.
How goofy is that how it setsus up as props against us.
It sets up our whole thing, ourwhole environment, as props
against that.
I don't like it.
I don't think I think too often.
I feel like when and I'm goingto generalize when white people
(41:50):
are giving commentary on the rapor hip hop environment and the
blackness that's a part of it.
What they're saying I felt thisway about Macklemore.
I felt this way about I'm goingto pop some tags and I only got
$20 in my pocket.
You're making, you're pointingout something about this culture
, which is that people spendcrazy money they don't have on
(42:15):
jewelry and clothes to makethemselves feel better, but you
don't.
You're not saying anythingabout.
Why are they not alreadyfeeling good?
Why do they not already feel ahigh level of self worth?
Why do they not?
Why do they feel insecure in away that they need to spend
money?
They don't have to fill up thathole.
They're just saying look howhigh my confidence is that I can
(42:38):
go buy this shit at a thriftstore and throw it on, and I
don't, I don't need to.
I don't need a $20,000 chain.
I feel good enough with my $20chain on.
It's like I just, I just don'tlike it.
Get out, I don't like it,unless you don't get the joke,
but, m, you can stay, and thenyou can stay, little Dickie.
(43:00):
No, thank you.
Okay, we got five more minuteshere.
I'm going to do one more thing.
Okay, this is going to beplugged for my love project on
sub stack.
Go to my sub stack.
My subscriptions are extremelyinexpensive they're about as
inexpensive as you will find onsub stack because I want as many
of you all as possible to be apart of this love project.
(43:23):
I think it can appeal to anyonewho has questions or wants to
see honesty around topics withinlove, like topics like what
happens when you and yourpartner stop having sex.
What happens when you and yourpartner want to see other people
.
What happens?
Am I what?
What does it mean about me if Inever find love?
(43:44):
Does that mean I'm not worthyas a person?
Where does love go when itdisappears?
How does it come back?
How do you get it back?
Is romantic love the same asother types of love?
Are love and friendshipdifferent, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera.
That's the stuff we'reexploring, and we're exploring
it through conversations withother people, q and A's with you
(44:06):
all.
The audience and current events, pop culture, headlines, stuff
that's happening out there, allon my sub stack, bonfire, which
you could find in the top linkin my link tree on Instagram.
So I'm going to take one of thequestions that I got on
Instagram and respond to it here.
The question, the question, andit's just so crazy that we have
(44:27):
this in our society, but it iswhat it is.
We have it.
Thoughts on hard launching arelationship on Instagram.
Hard launching a relationshipon Instagram?
Now I take that to meanbecoming Instagram official.
Like thoughts on when do youshow the world, announce to the
world, show a photo of you andyour person on Instagram.
(44:51):
If you are the super secureperson who is like man, I'll
just put that photo up there andI don't care.
I guess just stop listening.
Let the rest of us talk for asecond.
Here are some of the thingsthat come with posting your
person online.
Here's some of the things thatcome with it that can be
unpleasant or that just requiressome sort of you got to deal
(45:12):
with them.
One people that you did notrealize also knew your person
now think that they are in yourrelationship with the two of you
.
They will immediately thenstart telling you the things
that they think will be nicethings to hear about your person
(45:32):
to you.
They will probably also sharewith other people who you do not
realize also know your personthat the two of you are together
.
Instagram allows you to see howmany people share a photo of you
and your person, which is, guys, really weird.
Come on, man, like, how weirdcan you say that it is when you
(45:54):
yourself have shared said photo?
I mean, what are you going todo?
You're the one who put it outin the world.
I want to be clear aboutsomething else.
I'm 35 years old.
If you date somebody who isyounger than my age, let's say
(46:15):
by three or more years, there isa likely chance and I'm kind of
a unique case because I'm onthe internet but, like, if
you're my age and you datesomebody who's in their early
30s, late 20s, mid 20s, there'sa really good chance that that
person has a different comfortand a different relationship
(46:37):
with the internet and withinternet visibility than you do,
because they are native to itin a way that we are not.
I've gotten comfortable withthe idea of people looking at me
and the idea of people knowingwhat I think about things,
seeing photos of me all the time, et cetera.
But there are a lot of peoplemy age who are still trying to
not have that veil 27 year olds,30 year olds, 32 year olds, I
(47:04):
would say.
Even these people, a lot ofthem, have lived on Twitter.
A lot of them have lived onInstagram.
A lot of them were in collegewith Twitter and Instagram.
A lot of them met their collegeboyfriend or girlfriend on
Instagram.
So just even there between ageranges, there's going to be this
(47:31):
different level of comfortabout how much of us do we put
out there as open and public asI am, generally speaking, about
my point of view, what's goingon in my work life, my emotions,
whatever.
I am really private about arelationship.
That's who I am In this loveproject.
I'm going to open up a littlebit, but mostly about what's
(47:56):
currently going on around me,because I think a relationship
belongs to two people, which isto say, neither person can
decide for the other person.
Let's think of the relationshiplike a baby.
Neither parent can decide inautonomy how much that baby
(48:18):
needs to be seen by the world.
That's what I think.
If you're lucky, the two of youare in the same place on that,
but most people aren't.
Let's be real about that.
Most people.
There's a tension betweenparents, between partners,
spouses, boyfriend, girlfriend,boyfriend, girlfriend,
girlfriend.
There's a tension around howmuch and when are we going to
(48:44):
share with people about wherewe're at together.
Maybe we think we're in twodifferent places.
That's a tension.
I talked to Morgan about thisvery briefly on the phone
earlier today and I'm going tolet Morgan speak her own piece
on this.
When you're in a newrelationship, when you tell the
(49:08):
world by way of images andcaptions that you're in a
relationship, is quite asignificant turning point
emotionally for, I think, bothpeople.
I want to say one more thingabout this and we're not really
up against the real clockbecause I'm at home there's this
(49:29):
feeling that I have, honest toGod, gotten much more used to
than I was, let's say, two yearsago.
There's this hangover.
I don't really drink like thatanymore.
Drinking sucks.
Drinking is, guys, you knowwhat I'm about to do something
so annoying people.
(49:49):
Y'all are going to be annoyedby this.
Some of you I am now the personwho doesn't really drink, who is
saying out loud the thing thatwe all know, which is that
drinking sucks.
Drinking is ass.
It is the worst way.
It is a bad drug.
(50:09):
It is the worst way to speedyourself toward a fun time, in
terms of the things that you dowhile drunk and also the ways
you pay for it in the 48 hoursthat follow, or, if you're me,
you get the flu for a week.
Drinking is so ass.
What I really want, I love,this is what I want.
(50:31):
This is going to torment you,25 to 30 year olds.
Keep telling yourselves thatdrinking doesn't suck.
Keep telling yourselves thatyou don't wake up feeling like
shit the next day, you don'tmake bad decisions, you don't
send texts you don't want tosend.
Keep telling yourselves thatit's not holding you back in
your career.
Keep telling yourselves thatit's not fucking up your
relationships.
Keep telling yourselves that,oh, it's just a couple glasses
(50:53):
of wine, it's just a shot, it'swhatever.
Whatever, I'm young, I'm havinga good time.
Keep telling yourselves that,because you know drinking is ass
, you know it's so ass, it's soass.
Anyway, you know I'm right.
Why did I say all that?
Where was I even going withthat?
I just wanted to say that tothe late 20s crowd that's in
(51:17):
this audience and the early 20scrowd.
Y'all too, like you're notexempt.
You know it.
There's other ways to have agood time, man.
There's other drugs that arelegal that you could do if
that's what you want to feel, ifyou want to take it easy a
little bit, if you want to havea breather like there's other
stuff that doesn't corrode yourorgans the same way and doesn't
make you feel like shit.
(51:37):
Oh, hangover.
That's why I said it.
I get this hangover sometimeswhen I post.
I'm getting a real sense now oflike what I knew walking into
the studio yesterday that whenwe start the real from
yesterday's episode, I know thewords that need to come out of
my mouth first are white people.
(51:59):
Do you all like mixed peoplebetter?
I knew that was a slam dunk.
As a tagline, I meant to say itas soon as we cut the mics on,
but when it got time to get tothat part, I knew exactly where
to start it.
This is good, I need to catchthem in the first three seconds
and this is going to do it.
I posted the real last night.
Morgan did a great job editingand producing it.
(52:21):
Posted the real last night wakeup, morgan texts me.
The real is going off.
It's got like 14,000 plays.
I'm going to boost it latertoday, see wherever we get it.
But I just knew.
But last night, after I postedit, I shut off Instagram and did
not open it again and went tosleep because there's this
(52:46):
feeling of ah, was I too honest?
Did I too much say the thing?
Is someone gonna accuse me ofrace baiting or being angry or
being a hotep or whatever?
The next way is that someonewill dismiss what a black person
with dreadlocks has to say.
Are mixed people gonna be madat me?
(53:09):
Are white people gonna be madat me?
Somehow or other non-mixedblack people gonna be mad at me.
Like, and I wake up with thathangover and I roll over and I'm
like I'm gonna give myself to 9am to not know, just just not
know.
And the thing is I don't evenread the comments like that to
really even be knowing.
But, like I said, instagramputs those comments that are the
(53:31):
most crazy right in your facewhen you log on.
It finds a way to get them toyou.
So there's this hangover that Ifeel every time I knew of when
we posted the JZ reel, and thosealways end up being the best
ones.
Those always end up being theones that have the crackle.
(53:51):
That gets people having somepeople having an actually
productive conversation where Ithink people are sharing their
understanding of an issue andtheir point of view.
Naturally, there's always gonnabe dickheads on there who are
just there to try to bullysomebody to get off a bad
feeling that they're dealingwith themselves, but, like,
what's really exciting is going.
(54:11):
I went in those comments today,you know.
I told myself I don't.
I went in there because Iwanted to respond to a view to
just let people know I'm here,I'm part of this conversation.
I'm not throwing a grenade andthen running away Like, if this
is something we're talking about, let's get in here together,
like let's see what's reallygoing on here.
So all of that is to say, Iguess.
(54:36):
Circling back to the first pointabout the Casey shooting and
what I want to be vocal aboutwith gun control, I have been
amazed.
Tina Fey was trying to say thisin the podcast clip that we're
gonna have to now get to in thenext episode, because I didn't
get to it here.
Tina Fey is making a point inthis podcast clip that being
(54:58):
honest can get you in trouble,and being honest and telling the
truth are two different thingsto me.
I've said this before.
Honesty, I think, is somethingthat only the speaker can really
be clear on.
It comes from, like it'sclarity, it comes from what
inside of you the truth is, likethe truth is objective
(55:19):
somewhere, like there are thingsthat are so and things that are
not so, but I can be honestabout a point of view.
I can be honest about anopinion in a way that the truth
is not malleable in that way.
But I guess what I want to sayis like I'm amazed at how much
(55:39):
lower the penalty is on the typeof honesty that I'm finding in
my voice lately.
It's so much lower than what Ithought it was.
I had friends who thought threeyears ago I had gone off the
deep end, speaking too honestlyinto microphones and on paper,
and now I feel like I'vequadrupled that.
(56:00):
And there's new opportunities,like there's new people that
want to know us.
There's new people that want meto speak.
There's new stuff.
People actually know who I am.
I don't mean like in anotoriety sense, I mean like
they actually know if they'reaware of me.
They actually know who I am.
I'm not just like spitting backat them whatever the talking
(56:23):
points are from the currentTwitter trends and that means
something to me.
That means something to me thatI think there is more space for
more honest voices out thereand I would love to see more
people jumping in that space.
Not with bullshit, not withreflecting what's already being
said, but just like what theirthing is.
(56:45):
Like what their thing is.
Okay enough, this is nothing butanarchy.
Thank you for being here.
This was episode 87.
We will see you guys on Tuesday, same time, same place next
week, 12 o'clock.
I'll be back in the studio.
Goodbye, thanks for watching.
(57:33):
I'll see you guys next week.
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