In this episode Chad delves into his birthday revelations, self promotion and the judgement that can come with it, the importance of understanding inputs, and John Mulaney's ex wife, Anna Marie Tendler's, upcoming memoir.
Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET to watch the show live on Youtube. Follow @chadsand on Instagram and subscribe to the Nothing But Anarchy Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Executive Produced by: Chad Sanders
Produced by: Morgan Williams
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it's nothing but anarchy.
I am Chad Sanders.
Welcome bike, morgan.
We got what?
5000 downloads now?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yes, we're doing something.
(00:22):
Look, this is a compoundinginterest vehicle.
Over time it is growing.
We're watching it grow.
Also, it is growing in artisticdimensions.
On Tuesday, me and Morgan wentout and did an episode of the
show in Prospect Park in therain, in the fucking rain.
We did not anticipate the.
(00:43):
I mean, we could not have it.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We saw it on the weather once we made the
decision, because it was alsosupposed to rain today.
So actually the reason why wedid it Tuesday is because when
we checked the weather last weekit said it was going to rain
today.
Obviously, it is not rainingnow, right now.
Of course it's not yes, but butI actually think that God and
the universe conspired in ourfavor, because that meant that
(01:06):
the park was basically empty, sowe didn't have to deal with a
bunch of foot traffic and peoplewalking past us and shit.
And this is the thing.
We're doing something here.
We call it a podcast, but likea podcast means anything.
Now, Like this is a show andwe're trying to offer you as
many dimensions of the show aspossible and within those
dimensions, like we're trying toalso bring, we're trying to
(01:29):
bring you with us where we're at.
So we're in the park.
We want you all to be able tosee the beautiful park.
A puppy comes and runs up onthe show.
We want you guys to be therewith us with the puppy.
A lot of people are consumingthis show while doing their life
.
Sitting there through a workcall that they don't want to be
on doing shit for their kids,making dinner, whatever.
(01:51):
Like we want you all to be ableto be with us and the show
while you're doing your life.
So we're trying to take it somenew places.
My birthday was yesterday, solet's start right there.
Tuesday we're, we got poured onlike we are cold and wet by the
(02:12):
end of this experience inProspect Park.
We did a little bit of it inunder the arch, like that you
walk into when you go in themain entrance of right by Grand
Army Plaza.
But for most of the show wewere getting poured on.
And then we get in the car andthe conversation is like we need
to drink ginger because we needto not get sick from this and
(02:33):
like Morgan and I really like Iknow everybody needs to not get
sick.
Obviously we all have likelives and shit like that, but
like we really need to not getsick, Like it's.
It's really bad for everythingIf one of us is not able to get
up and do the things we got todo.
We both have 50, 11 jobs, likewe both have to be on our feet
for our jobs, so we need to notget sick.
(02:55):
So we so thankfully we're notsick.
It's great.
But but as we're leaving,Morgan asks me.
She says something like um as ifyou were a birthday person you
asked about the birthday personand you asked if I was going to
get myself something for mybirthday Right, and my response
to that was what?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
you're going to let yourself spend more money on ads
.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I'm going to give myself a little more budget to
boost things that I am promotingon Instagram, and that is just
honesty.
At this particular phase of mylife, I am investing in growing
this platform so that this canbe, so that this expanded can be
(03:39):
my life for as long as I wantit to be.
So I don't want to spend $500on a jacket or $1,000 on a trip
and we're going to come back tothat.
Um, I would rather spend $1,000or $500, maybe a month or
$1,000, two months or two monthsfor $1,000, or a month $1,000.
(04:00):
Maybe two years for the 50s?
I'm thinking about $500, thatit could be the longest open
month for the beautyUR thatcould meinve and those answers
are to be reviewed in the twonextっ.
I would say the first half ofthe day was difficult for me For
(04:22):
a few reasons.
One, it's my first birthdaysingle in five years, basically.
So there was a.
You know I'm used to this lifenow.
I'm in this life now.
I'm honestly been enjoying thislife now, but it was like
birthdays are a weird momentwhere you are being asked by
(04:45):
people that care about you andothers and strangers in some
ways, to take stock of your life, like to take inventory.
And my life is not.
It just is what it is.
I gotta call it on its face.
Like my life is not like otherpeople's lives.
Like this is not a day where mycoworkers are gonna come bring
(05:07):
me a cupcake you know what Imean.
Like there's no going to theconference room where everybody
just sing happy birthday.
I don't get paid for a week.
Like I can't take paid time offto go on a vacation, you know
what I mean.
Like who's gonna pay me?
So on a birthday and I've saidthis about I feel this way on
(05:28):
other days too.
I often feel this way.
I used to feel this way onweekends, not as much right now,
but I often feel this way onholidays, where I can feel the
quiet.
Even from, like where I'mworking, which is honestly
mostly in my home office here inthe car on the way here, I can
(05:52):
feel the quiet of people notstirring at their places of
business and it annoys me thateverybody's chilling because I'm
fucking working and I'm workinglike that's not a sob story,
Like truly I love to work.
(06:14):
Part of what was hard for meyesterday was some voice was
telling me Chad, you're supposedto take it easy today.
Like I can hear someone beinglike oh, are you gonna take the
day off?
Oh, in fact, some people ask methat.
But like that's not fun to me,that's not like taking the day
off to do.
My whole life is a day off.
Like what the fuck am I gonnatake the day off to do?
(06:34):
Like dead ass.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I feel you on that.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Like what, like what would I like take a day off.
Nigga Like this.
What do you guys think of me?
I do every day, like so I'mlike, how am I supposed?
Okay, so I'm like, all right, Itake the day off and I look up
and I'm just sitting at mycounter drinking coffee because
I'm like I guess I'm taking theday off.
Like what the fuck is a day off?
Penny is okay.
(06:58):
So Penny's there, penny's withme, right?
Penny's my 80 pound Germanshepherd, four years.
She turns four next month.
Sweetheart of an animal, she'sat diarrhea for the last few
days because the dog said herlitter eat General South's
chicken.
I don't even wanna get into itby accident presumably
definitely had to be by accidentbut I'm like how does a dog get
(07:21):
General South's?
Is this General South's chickenon the floor?
Like, did she jump and get it?
Like I have had Penny for fouryears.
She has never gotten my foodone time.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
There's a lot of questions there.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It doesn't like.
I'm like how did you getGeneral South's chicken?
I'm like people shouldn't eveneat General South chicken.
Like how did you let the dogget it?
So General South's chicken isnot real Chinese food.
It is made up American Chinesefood.
Okay.
So I'm staying 100 million, 100million feet away from any jokes
(07:55):
about my dog eating Chinesefood.
So I'm just sitting there andnaturally I turn 36,.
I'm sitting there and I'm justlike there's nothing else.
This is another reason why I'mlike I shouldn't be taking a day
off.
There's nothing else to do butto just sit there and think
about my life.
Right, just literally just sitthere and be like all right, I'm
(08:19):
supposed to be relaxing.
So what the fuck?
What do I do?
Like, what do you do whenyou're relaxing?
Like well, here's what a lot ofpeople do go on Instagram,
watch TV, work on a creativeproject.
That's my job.
So what do I do when I'mrelaxing?
Like I took the dog to the dogpark, but like I do gotta do
(08:40):
that anyway.
So I felt this those holidaysand birthdays there's a couple
of other days that make me feel.
They make me feel thedissonance and the distance
between what my life is and whatother people's lives are like,
and I bet you guys can bothrelate to this in your own ways.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh, yeah, most definitely You're like.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
if there's a thing in me that feels bad when I feel
outcast from the tribe, when Ifeel like not a part of the
tribe, it swells on theseparticular days.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
For sure my birthdays in like two weeks.
I have a similar.
I wanna be feeling the same way.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And again, there you go.
Well, hopefully a little bitless today for your connection,
but like it's like okay, somaybe.
And then you know people arecalling, people are texting and
it's nice.
For the most part it's meant tobe nice.
I don't say I'll peep about iton social media because I don't
until late at night, because Idon't want my phone to explode
with happy birthdays fromstrangers and I'm just like
(09:42):
that's useless.
So I, at some point in themiddle of the day, I start to
feel a little bit better becausethe day is passing over.
Some people think I'm abirthday person because I had
three birthday parties for my30th birthday in two different
cities.
But like that was my 30thbirthday.
(10:03):
That's insane.
That was my 30th birthday andalso like I had a different
setup then.
Like I was on payroll then,like it was when you're on
payroll you can take a night andgo to the club or go on
vacation or whatever, becauseyou know the following Monday or
Friday or two weeks lateryou're gonna get another check
(10:24):
and you know exactly how much isgonna be in it.
This is that's not what it is.
So another thing that's come upI'm nominated for an award at
South by Southwest on Monday,monday night, and I'm just this
is for me to like put you underthe hood.
Like there's now a growingcommunity here of people who can
hear me right now, of peoplewho want to do some version of
(10:48):
whatever it is that I do for, ifnot for a living, then for a
substantial side income.
But I want to like put youunder the hood of like what that
entails.
Okay, I'm nominated for anaward.
South by Southwest bestbusiness finance podcast.
Direct deposit was nominated.
Okay, josh also worked on thatshow.
(11:09):
We're very proud of that show.
Lot of smart, good peopleworked on that show.
Very proud of it.
It was nominated for award itin Vegas maybe like 14 months
ago.
I went for that.
One dressed up, got a greatclip on the red carpet.
It's done great for me onInstagram.
Didn't win the award.
I was nominated for threeawards Didn't win any of them
(11:30):
was salty, went home.
This time things are a littlebit different for me.
Okay, going to South bySouthwest not being flown there
by Audible, not being flownthere by South, by not being
flown there as a contractor oran employee of someone else's
(11:51):
company.
This would be the trip would besponsored by Chad, okay, which
means it's expensive to get toAustin from New York City.
We're gonna have fights rightnow that are about $450 to $550
round trip.
That's for direct flights andI'm definitely not doing a
layover to go to Austin Hotel.
(12:13):
That's gonna be another $200 to$450.
Thereabouts, especially duringSouth by Southwest.
So now we're in the like $900range for this trip.
I could probably wear somethingI already have.
So let's just say I don't evenbuy.
No, fuck it.
Let's just do it, because ify'all wanna do this, this is
part of it you gotta buy anoutfit.
That's gonna be another $100 to$300, to $500 possibly.
(12:39):
If you are a lady, gotta get myhair done.
That's another $100 to $150,right.
So now we're in the like $1300to $1500 ballpark to go for one
night to go walk on a red carpet, get some good media and
hopefully win an award.
My dog's gotta be cared for.
(12:59):
If you got kids, it's probablythree times as much, but that's
gonna be another $50 to $100 ifI stay for an extra night, and
I'm not gonna stay for an extranight because that's gonna be
another $450 in the hotel orwhatever the fuck.
So let's just ballpark it allat like.
Let's just call it $1500.
$1500 is in the generalballpark of my payroll for one
(13:25):
month of this job, right Of thisproduction.
That's a month of us coming inthis studio, me paying my
assistant Destiny, me paying ourcontent person Luigi.
Like that's a month, okay, amonth of life that I would be
spending on one night to go andhopefully win this fucking award
.
$1500,.
(13:46):
My budget right now is about$30 to $50 per day of money that
I spend to boost ads onInstagram.
So for $1500, I can get my shitin front of like 50 to 100,000
people who don't know about me.
Okay, I just can't, as I satwith it and sat with it and sat
(14:06):
with it like I just can't makeit make sense.
I cannot in this particularmoment of my life and I'm
thankful for a birthday becausea birthday did make me take
stock of this I cannot be vainenough to be like it is worth it
for me to go and look prettyand walk across the stage,
hopefully For me to trade thatoff for everything that I could
(14:27):
get for those $1500,.
Like, the shit is getting madein here, the shit is getting
made in Prospect Park, the shitis not getting made at South by
Southwest.
So not going, but Morgan'sgoing and I hope.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I'm gonna hopefully yeah, I'm going for work, so I'm
getting paid, so that'sdifferent.
Yeah, no, it's completelydifferent.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Your hotel room is probably taken care of.
You're getting a check, likeMorgantron is going, and I'm
hopeful that Morgantron will goand represent me at South by I
mean at the podcast awards andif she does, I'm gonna try to
get Morgan to agree.
I'm gonna try to write a smallscript for Morgan so that if I
win the award when she takes thestage Morgan can and then I'm
(15:08):
gonna do what you do in thisstudio literally every week and
go and go rogue.
Oh, morgan, don't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Okay, well, we'll figure it out, but anyway, lots
of hand gestures, lots of handgestures, lots of hand gestures,
wear a bandana, so Be like holdplease.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
This is what's going on.
These are the departure Ipromise you all.
A year ago, two years ago, Iwould have 100% spent that
$1,500 to go to South bySouthwest, but like the mission
is tight right now, the missionis like it is well-framed, I see
it, and it's like keep doingwhat you're doing, like you
(15:50):
click.
This is the time to click,click, click, click, click,
click, click, click.
With that said, I did get aphenomenal birthday gift, which
is my title was approved for mybook at Simon Schuster yesterday
, which I'm very excited about.
I'm still not ready yet exactlyto say what the title is, but I
(16:12):
will be very, very soon andthis is gonna dovetail into our
next segment.
I was very coy about promotionfor the first few years of this
journey.
You are about to see me be soshameless and hungry about
(16:33):
promoting this next book in away that, honestly, will
probably be very inspiring tosome of you and some of you all
will find it distasteful and youwill probably pay more
attention than the people whoactually like it.
So Variety published a pieceyesterday.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
That was.
It doesn't matter to you all.
If you're listening on podcasts, it's whatever day.
Variety published a piece thatwas about people who are
nominated for Oscars doing themedia PR cycle and promoting
themselves to win those Oscars.
Right, it's something.
That promotion.
Let's just.
This will just be the promotionsegment because I just talked
(17:20):
about, I'm about to promote.
I am going to promote the fuckout of this book that is coming
out.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Do you want me to read the title?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Of my book, no of the Just kidding.
Yes, please.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
When an actor tries to quote unquote, tries too hard
.
The pros and cons of awardsseason self-promotion.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So all right, this.
Let me first just examine theconcept.
So you're nominated forsomething, not just Oscars, but
this happens in everything.
This happens when you'renominated for a promotion, like
at work at your company.
This happens when you'renominated for school board, like
whatever it is.
You're nominated for somethingand there is a process or an
(18:03):
expectation for the nominee todo the rounds of schmoozing and
charming and ass kissing andtrying to get.
It's basically a sales job, likeyou're trying to get people to
want you to win the thing sothat they can put forward
whatever it is that they need toget done to make it happen for
you.
And there's a lot of differentways to sell.
(18:25):
There's a lot of different waysto get people to want to do
something for you.
There's a lot of different waysto get people to take action
and, in my opinion, they are allsort of bespoke to the audience
.
Whoever it is, that you or thepowers that be, whoever you're
trying to get to make a move,and who you are and what you're
working with For some people.
In my opinion, the mostsustainable and the one that is
(18:51):
like the one that you can betyour odds on is, to me, being
real, like just being like.
If the thing is, hey, I reallywant to win this award and you
got to get in front of the rightpeople to win the award, then
get in front of those people andtell them what the award means
(19:11):
to you, or figure out what it isthat they care about, how
they're incentivized.
Tell them, if you believe it,how you winning that award is
going to achieve their incentive.
If they want this award to mean, for instance, they want this
award to be the pinnacle ofartistic achievement, get in
front of them and make clear tothem why you are the right
(19:35):
representation of the pinnacleof artistic achievement.
Whatever this article, thispiece is I don't even think it's
an article, I think it is anopinion piece, right, more or
less.
It is taking that phenomenonand putting this specific
magnifying glass on the mostprestigious night and event of
(19:59):
Hollywood.
Basically, which Morgan tells medo not do another segment
bashing the Oscars?
Okay, I won't, but it'sspeaking to the very fine needle
to be thread by someone whowants to win, which is that you
must be charming and you mustshow up, but don't be too
(20:23):
thirsty, right?
It's like this little balancingact, right?
Like, make sure you kiss theirasses, but only one cheek.
And it makes me think of peoplelike Leonardo DiCaprio, as an
example, who for a long timewanted to win an Oscar and it
(20:45):
was held out, and he was heldout, didn't win the Oscar for a
long time and he didn'teventually won the Oscar.
Right, wouldn't he win theOscar?
I think it was for Revenant.
For Revenant, yeah, that soundsright, but it almost became
like at a certain point.
There's almost like this shotin Freud however you pronounce
(21:07):
that word, that German word thatmeans enjoying someone else's
pain there's almost this likeshade in Freud, shot in Freud,
whatever it is that takes overthe academy, the fans, the
audiences, the nation, whereit's almost like fun to watch
the pain of someone who wantssomething so bad and cannot get
it.
It happens in sports too.
(21:28):
This is here sports.
Look, some of us have enjoyedwatching LeBron try to catch
Michael Jordan and not have itand it not happen.
That happens all the time.
It would happen with otherathletes, not just LeBron, like
we, sometimes, once we have lita snowball build, where we
define somebody by what theydon't have, it almost becomes
(21:51):
fun to like root for them tostay out of the club.
It's mean.
It's mean as fuck, not when youdo it to LeBron, but it's mean
generally speaking.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Is there any subject that you cannot connect back to?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
No, because his face is in front of me every single
day.
It's like a giant hot airballoon.
How could I look around it?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It's a real talent of yours.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, exactly, I can't help it.
So I can't help it, like, ifyou put, I'm 36 years old.
For the last 20 years I haveseen LeBron James name and image
probably every single day of mylife.
So it's gonna be real hard forme to not bring things when we
talk about sports my favoritebasketball.
Anyway, let me get to the point.
(22:35):
Let me get to what I reallywanna say here.
If the game requires, so let meapply it to myself right now.
I'm not being coy aboutmarketing myself and promoting
(22:58):
myself.
I am not being cutesy aboutthat.
Like when you see my image andwhen you see my voice, I am
being myself and I am being, Ithink, tasteful for the most
part, unless I'm just like beinga dork for fun.
Even that, I think, is kind oftasteful.
But like, I'm not being coyabout the volume.
I'm not being coy about you'regoing to see my little thing, my
(23:25):
circle, my circle, my Instagramcircle, is gonna be at the top
of your shit every time you goon Instagram, because that's the
volume and I still know I'm notplaying at the peak and most
effective volume.
I'm trying to get there, but,like when you go on the internet
(23:45):
until you fucking block me.
You're going to see me becauseI have something to tell you, I
have something to say, I havesomething that I need us to do
together here, so you're goingto see me.
That is why, in my opinion, Iam better served for this side
of the industry than for thecutesy side with tuxedos.
(24:09):
Because over there you gotta doa dance Like you gotta it's
twister, you gotta like put yourright hand on blue and your
left foot on purple and you'reall twisted and knots because 10
different people in thisacademy, or 50 or however many
of these motherfuckers are theyall want something different
(24:30):
from you.
They all want you to be someonedifferent to earn their favor.
And I just can't relate tosomeone who can live like that
for a prolonged period of time.
And truthfully, I don't thinkyou can live like that for a
(24:50):
prolonged period of time.
I think when you do live likethat for a prolonged period of
time, you end up running up onthe Oscar stage and smacking a
nigga.
That's what happens when you dolike this.
I haven't read the piece becauseit was yesterday's my birthday,
so fuck it, but I imagine thatWill Smith was not named in this
(25:10):
piece.
Is that right?
No, that's because you niggasdon't know how to do this.
Like me, he should have been,because that Will Smith thing is
the exact result of thisphenomenon of having to squeeze
yourself into a tiny little holelike be thirsty, but not too
(25:32):
thirsty.
You can't do that.
Your back hurts, and then allof a sudden somebody says the
wrong thing and you literally goup and commit a violent act on
stage the night that youactually win Best Actor.
How could they?
That is such a miss.
They didn't talk about WillSmith in the article.
I'm sorry, man.
(25:53):
Okay, I'm not going to be anasshole, but you guys are bad at
this.
That is such an obvious slamdunk.
If you're going to write thispiece I'm sorry, I don't know
who wrote it, I don't care,whatever, whatever, but if
you're listening, you can, you,you?
You know what I'm saying.
Like you can't write the pieceabout doing the dance to win
(26:13):
Best Actor and then not mentionWill Smith.
That is such an air ball.
All right, that's, that's anaside.
I'm leaving it alone.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
The writer's knob jumped out.
Do you feel?
Do you guys feel me, though?
How could you not?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
No, you guys don't feel me.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
No, no, no.
I feel you now that you said it.
I didn't think about it when Iread it, but I'm.
I think that's such a miss.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
It happened like 14 months ago.
Okay, whatever, and I connectedlike.
I connected to how I feel I am.
I am honored to be, like,nominated for something.
Take that away.
I'm honored.
It's really exciting to meevery time a publication or
(26:53):
someone who I look up to or likewho is a big Titan in industry
or whatever it's flatteringevery single time somebody like
that thinks that I'm good.
It's flattering every singletime someone who's not in that
at all, but who's just aconsumer of.
Every time I get a LinkedIn ora DM that says yo, I read your
(27:14):
book and da, da, da, da, da, da.
It's very flattering everysingle time.
However, those are outputs andthey are uncontrollable, like.
Those are things that happen inreaction to this process, which
is controllable.
If I go to South by Southwest,there's nothing I can do to make
(27:37):
sure that I actually win thataward.
If you go to the Oscars,there's nothing.
There's no amount of ass youcan kiss and I promise you, if
you kiss 100 asses and you lose,you will not look at yourself
the same way and God forbid youwin, because then your life is
going to be a sequence of asskissing for the rest of time,
(27:59):
hoping that that will create theoutput that you.
Thinking that those two thingswere connected, that the ass
kissing and the reward areconnected, is a dangerous
philosophy.
This is a pretty good segment.
I'm reminded of Mark.
You always giggle when I givemyself a compliment.
I gotta give it a fucking.
You know what I mean.
(28:20):
My high school basketball coachtold a story that I ended up not
putting on yearbook and I wishthat I had.
He talks about my high schoolbasketball coach is the most
anal, disciplined person I haveever met in my life, and I used
to be Spike Lee's mentee.
Okay, this person used to.
(28:41):
If you were a minute late, asecond late, for practice, we
would run the entire practice.
If we lost a game my junioryear, we would have 5 AM
practice the next day in thesnow.
He was a absolute blowhard.
In fact, one time this is theday I was driving the hearse, my
(29:01):
old Volvo, to school.
I had my two boys in the carbecause we had 5 AM practice.
We get there and coach Pickermis not there yet we're sitting
in the parking lot for 30minutes, all of us so sad and
cold, just like what the fuck?
He's not even here.
I called him to be like hey,coach, are you here?
We're just trying to get in thegym.
(29:22):
And then he didn't pick up Meand my two friends, justin and
Marcus.
We spent the next probably likefour minutes just being like
man.
We were probably using allkinds of lingo you can't even
use in 2024, like just like whata fucking this that the third.
What a bitch ass.
Nigga like this that the third.
Blah, blah, blah.
And then my phone goes beep.
(29:42):
Your message has ended.
I was like no, are you serious?
Yeah, dead ass, dead ass.
He never brought it up so Idon't know but I know that was
quite a scene, but he tells hisstory.
He tells his story.
I know his story is tragic, butthere was honestly nothing
worse he could do to us thanwhat he was already doing to us.
(30:05):
He was, but he also.
He changed us.
He changed me.
I'll speak for myself.
He changed me.
We went to the samechampionship that year.
He made me realize the process,the inputs.
You gotta fucking find a way toenjoy that side of the thing,
because you don't know if theseshmucks are going to call your
(30:27):
fucking name, you don't know ifthe referees are going to have
it go your way.
You just don't know.
So focus on what you can do.
This is a story he told Beforewe came through and had success,
and he had success before myteam came.
But when he started his jobfirst year coaching, he was 30
years old, young, and he was thesame process anal-oriented
(30:50):
person.
Anal-oriented, that is not agood term to say about my coach.
That's not what I meant.
That's not what I meant.
I meant he was anal andprocess-oriented, not process
and anal-oriented.
He coached another schoolcalled Poolsville.
They didn't win a game theentire first season.
Go to the playoffs.
His best player, star player ona very bad team is late to
(31:14):
school.
The rules were if you miss aclass on a game day, you do not
play.
But he played him anywaybecause he wanted to win that
playoff game so badly for hisown career.
They fucking lost.
Anyway.
It is his most shameful loss.
(31:36):
It is his most shameful momentas a coach.
As he described it was that hebroke his process to try to get
a treat and he still didn't getthe treat.
You lose your dignity in theprocess while trying to get
something you don't even get.
That is what this little dance,that is what Hollywood demands
(31:58):
of you, Like, drop off yourdignity so you can get this
treat and you still don't getthe fucking treat.
You don't get the treat byanything else besides being dope
and having a budget to spend onmarketing.
So I'm not going because I needmy monies.
(32:18):
Okay, I feel like there was alanding point here.
No, there's not, but this isthe only thing I want to say,
Because this was all.
Can this all just be onebirthday segment?
Because I just want to say onelast thing, which is the day
started with I accidentally shutPenny's tail in the door.
Penny, and Penny is a big animal.
(32:40):
She's tough, Okay, she gets allkinds of shit going on.
You never hear this dog cryever.
And she cried and she was like,and I was like oh, I felt it
was in there for like literallyone instant and she was just.
She was scared, she wasstartled and like you can't pull
a dog's tail.
She was fine, though.
She cried, cried, cried, cried,cried, Goes in the house,
(33:01):
Everything's fine.
Two seconds later she forgetsabout it, which is what I love
about dogs.
But I go have this wholebirthday emotional journey.
Then, second half of the day,I'm feeling better, more, bigger
, more, more, more, more verblike more energized again, and
thank God this day is almostover.
And then, like, go out, likehave, like, enjoy my night, have
(33:23):
a steak, like all the, all thethings you know what I'm saying,
Appreciate it.
And then I come home at the endof the night this is my
birthday Come home at the end ofthe night.
I only live with one othercritter and it's Penny.
There's no people and I walk inmy house and it fucking stinks.
I look down the hall and shehas shat on the runner in the
(33:46):
kitchen like a big dookie, a bigold shitty dookie just right
there on the thing.
And that was like that wasliterally the only birthday gift
I got.
I guess, Like literally myparents' gift didn't even come
on time, so that was my happybirthday.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
All right anyway, hey everybody, welcome back to
Nothing but Anarchy with yourhost, chad Sanders.
I just really wanted to take aminute to shout out Gangsters by
Flowers.
I think they're a really dopebrand Talks about duality of a
man and I, as a man, feel like Ihave a lot of feelings that we
(34:23):
should appreciate more.
So, yeah, this is thesweatshirt you should go buy
from them.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Listen, man, honestly , I honestly think we're having
a good show, but like, yes, itwas my birthday and I did not
prepare, so and I usuallyprepare Like we didn't know what
to put on the docket thismorning we were in the rain,
guys, like we were out in therain, haven't looked at the reel
yet, don't tell me how it'sdoing.
I think it's probably doingpretty good, though I did a
trick, which is I was like, hey,you wanna wish me a happy
birthday?
Share this reel to your storyinstead of wishing me a happy
(34:55):
birthday.
Some people, of course, wish mea happy birthday Anyway, but
it's fine, all right.
John Mulaney my sister told meabout this like two years ago.
I kind of let me try to tellyou what I think I remember from
John Mulaney's story.
John Mulaney was married tosomebody.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Anna Marie Tendler.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Now okay, john Mulaney is a comedian.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
And Anna Marie Tendler is a.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
She's like a multi media.
She does like photography,digital stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
She's a media person and they were married.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
And then he left her.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Yeah, divorced her.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Divorced her and married oh and married.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
He's not married, he's just.
He had a baby with Olivia Munn.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Olivia.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Munn yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Aaron Gordon.
Everyone Rogers is theex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Oh, I know, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
She's on what's it called Newsroom.
I think that's what it's called.
Right that show Anyway.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Is that Aaron Sorkin's show?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, All right.
Also, morgan, I also wanted to.
Morgan said before this showstarted she was like she was
just talking about how manypeople are getting laid off and
like and yes, this is not notthis, that like scripted TV and
(36:16):
movies and stuff, like it's nota real industry, because it's
not a real business, because TVshows don't make money.
So, yes, it's not, it's, thisis it's.
I mean, we've been saying itfor 11 months now like this is
over, this is over.
There's, this is a new, there'sa new thing to do creative
(36:36):
people.
Okay, anyway, tell me about,tell me what to know.
Why is this new?
What's happening with JohnMulaney right now?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Okay.
So for context, I was I am abig John Mulaney fan and then I
made interested.
Okay, actually, I'm gonna start.
So he was married to Anna MarieTendler for six years and he
talked about her a lot in hisstandup, like his early standup.
They never had kids, theydidn't want kids.
They had a dog, petunia, and hejoked a lot about also how he
(37:07):
used to be addicted to drugs buthe had been clean and sober for
X-Mounties years.
He went to rehab in December of2020 because he was back on
drugs, not doing well, and thenhe got out in February 2021 and
divorced his or filed fordivorce in July of February 2021
(37:31):
.
And there's a little bit ofoverlap here, I think, because
him and Olivia Munn announcedthat they had started dating in
May of 2021.
And everybody was kind of like,wow, that's so crazy, you know,
leaving your wife after shesupported you all these years?
(37:52):
X-mt, blah, blah, blah all theX-MT opinions.
I want him to say I do not knowthese people.
So there's that.
And now he had a baby withOlivia Munn and everybody again
was like, oof, you spent allthese years with your wife and
you guys never had kids, saidyou never wanted to have kids.
Now you have kids.
Yikes Don't know what thatmeans.
And so it was just announcedthat Anna Marie Tendler is
(38:15):
coming out with a memoir calledMen have Called Her Crazy, and
it is a powerful memoir thatreckons with mental health as
well as the insidious ways menimpact the lives of women, and I
am very interested to read.
So is my other friend who's areally big John Mulaney fan,
because up until this point,yeah, I don't know these people,
(38:36):
I don't know all the things,but I still say I'm a fan
because I do really like hiscomedy.
And then in August, when thisbook comes out, I'll be
interested in what she has tosay.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Okay, I have a few questions.
All right.
Number one why is this Gen Znews when these are all people
older than me?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Well, I felt it was Gen Z news because it was
something I was interested in.
Okay, all right cool.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
All right, that answers that question.
Number two what percentagechance would you say?
Where would you put thepercentage at on you buying this
book, paying money andreceiving this book?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I would say hi, because I think we're gonna do a
book club.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Oh, wow, okay.
So all right, let's talk aboutmen being bad people, because
that sounds like what the bookis about, right?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
What's the title again?
Yeah, men have called her crazy.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
And what's the subtitle?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
The thing about the book is a powerful memoir that
reckons with mental health aswell as the insidious ways men
impact the lives of women.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
All right, my guess I'm gonna predict that there's
actually very little written inthis book about John Mulaney,
but that this is a catchy wayfor her to launch her press tour
.
Like I said about Resa, tessa,risa, tisa, risa, risa and
(40:05):
anybody else, like I'm saying tomyself right now, if you take
the window of opportunity to getyour shit off and it includes
being a little spicy that'sgonna come with like there's no
internet police, like nobody canbe, like don't say those mean
(40:26):
things to her, like that'scoming for her, and it's gonna
come from the dude Joe Roganincel side of the internet and
like the if black people areeven aware of this the Kevin
Samuel's sphere, and it's gonnabe really mean and it's gonna be
really spicy.
But get your shit off.
(40:48):
I was watching, I watched aquarter of little poor things
poor things last night and so,man, I have done such incomplete
homework on this entire episode.
Like, yeah, but I think I'mdoing pretty good.
I think this is like a B plusepisode and that to me sometimes
(41:12):
when I over prepare, I get likea C minus.
So, as I can tell, that movieis about women being
infantilized by men.
Spoiler alert okay, if youhaven't seen Poor Things.
Now's your chance.
I'm gonna give you threeseconds to stop listening or
move away from your computer.
All right, one, two, three,okay.
(41:35):
In the first quarter of themovie it is revealed that Emma
Stone's character is an adultwoman who committed suicide and
had her brain had a baby's brainimplanted into her own brain,
and I know that sounds crazy.
It's done very artistically, itlooks really really cool, it
(41:56):
looks beautiful and it soundsbeautiful and the writing's good
and all that.
But it's about meninfantilizing women and keeping
them, as far as I can tell,keeping them under control.
But I think it means toeventually say that the woman's
spirit, a woman's spirit, is sopotent and so big and so
(42:17):
powerful that it cannot becontained in that way, unless a
woman chooses for it to becontained that way, something
like that.
I think that's where it's going.
This lady is writing a book.
She was certainly embarrassedby how things played out with
John Mulaney.
I think anybody could relate tothat.
I think any of us would beembarrassed by something like
(42:39):
that.
And, okay, I'm gonna tell youall as a writer, as an author
there is, as somebody who doesthis twice a week, as somebody
who writes op-eds.
As somebody who has manyplatforms and places to get a
(43:00):
message across, I'm gonna say,about five or six years ago yeah
, maybe even less than that Ifelt incredibly stung by a
couple people in my life who Iwas close to and I had this like
villain origin story replayingin my head.
(43:24):
That man when it was my turn,like I was gonna get in front of
that camera and I was gonnachew their head off.
I was gonna tell people, I wasgonna like what's the word?
I was gonna reveal who thesepeople really are and I was
gonna be so incisive and cuttingand like I was gonna really get
my revenge.
And now, granted, what thesepeople did to me was probably
(43:53):
way less painful, way lessimportant, way less impactful
than what happened between JohnMulaney and Anna Marie Tindler.
And I imagine there are otherthings that men throughout the
span of Anna Marie Tindler'slife have done to her that are
probably all bottled andprocessed and about to come
through hissing in this book.
(44:19):
And I guess, when I see a titlelike this, or when I think of a
story like this, when I thinkabout my own decisions, about
what I, what do I want topublish?
A decision that I always haveto make is when I publish this.
I am giving this new life, likewhen I publish this, if this
thing was on its way to dying.
It is, it is revived again, itis going to circle me.
(44:42):
It is going to be theconversations that I have in my
life.
The mirror that I look will bea mirror of this.
When I put direct deposit outand I say I go to therapy and
I'm embarrassed and my mom'sgoing to feel way, way, way, way
, guess what my mom calls me,and we have a conversation Like
when you put the shit out therethere's stuff that's going to be
in my new book that I have notshared with pretty much anybody
(45:06):
except my old partner and acouple of maybe.
That's it honestly.
And I and I'm making aconscious decision that, like
when you, it is now in the worldand it is in your life, like it
is going to surround you.
I felt it.
(45:27):
So I think I don't think in anyway that Anna Marie Tindler if
her, if what she's going to dohere is throw stones at John
Mulaney, if she feels stung, orthrow stones at other men that
have made her feel stung, oreven if she plans to like, be
(45:48):
thoughtful and methodical andincisive, which this title does
not suggest.
I really do think thatultimately, the most of the
sacrifice will fall on her.
Like, I think, as the author,most of the weight of what
you're going to feel from thatis going to be this is why I do
not want to.
(46:08):
I want to write serious things.
I want to write meaningful,impactful things, but I do not
want to write sad shit becausethen sadness becomes you.
I don't want to be an activistbecause then even though Josh
said this bandana was me leadinginto my activism shit, like I
(46:30):
don't want to be that because,like I don't want to become
activism, like I don't want tobecome struggle, because then I
will live in a life of struggle.
So if you are going to write thecutting, precise exploration of
the ugliness of men which, bythe way, I am interested in I
(46:52):
think it is like I think it'sprobably underrated how familiar
a white person told me thisabout white people once.
I feel the same way about guys.
It is probably underrated howfamiliar and how annoyed by the
ugliness of men other men arealso are so like how exhausted I
(47:15):
am by Niggas Like I might.
I myself might read this book,you know what I mean, just to
kind of like get a little bit,just get a little bit of that
action.
But boy, is it going to comewith a lot of fucking headaches
for Ann Marie Tendler, who seemslike she has already had quite
a few headaches to this point.
Wait, I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
There's only a couple of minutes left, but with with
your book, yes, you delved intosome stuff that.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
I sure did.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah, and I feel like you said that, you feel kind of
whole, or like you said that.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Did you notice that I changed my phone number?
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah, no, that's true , yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Like I had to drop it off.
You know what I mean.
It became a wait, like itreally did.
I mean it was like it ruinedsome days for me, like it ruined
some moments for me, likejoyful, happy, easy moments at
my resting state, like this.
I actually do think this comesthrough clearly about me Am I
resting state?
(48:18):
I am fucking jolly, like I'mjust like, I'm just like bopping
around like Kirby, you knowwhat I mean.
And then, but like, art bringschaos and honesty can bring
chaos.
Like telling something as it isthe way people, the way I still
I'm still getting them.
Like the way I became a bounceback for other people's trauma.
(48:42):
When your book came out, Iliterally had to opt out.
I had to like change my number,you know, stop checking all the
DMs and give myself like somespace, because I'm not like I'm
not a therapist, I can't justlike not a receptacle for
people's pain.
So that's I'm.
Your book is another proofpoint to me for this.
(49:05):
My book is about selling out,which I have said, and it is
going to, I would say, continueand give new life to and stir up
a conversation that is, I think, percolating around selling out
and with the microscope on myown life and ways that I have
(49:28):
chosen to make trade offs, race,looking at public figures, but
hopefully that will also expandinto, like other cultures, other
people, other professions andways people sell out there.
I think it's going to bring tome a conversation that I will
(49:50):
actually enjoy, which is why Ifeel more excited about the
release of it.
In a different way, I feel amore pure excitement for it.
It's going to be.
It's going to have some.
It's going to have some anarchyin it.
It's going to have some chaos.
It's going to bring some likesome people poking at me and
looking at me funny and like allthat kind of stuff.
This book is very earnest andit's very.
(50:13):
This is about like, how can welift ourselves up?
You know what I mean and I likethat.
But it also brought to me a lotof just brought a lot of the
struggle, you know, and I don'talways want to talk about the
struggle.
So that's it, nothing butanarchy.
Thank you for being with us.
We'll see you all on Morgan.
(50:33):
Are we ever going to releasethe live show audio?
Yeah, I know Live show audioscoming.
And Josh, can I ask you aquestion?
Yeah, where can people get thatbook, this book?
Yeah, where can people getblack magic?
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, black leaders learn from the top of the aisle.
Yeah, right next to you, thisone, right here.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yeah, how does this even get here.
People can get this book onAmazon.
They can also get it on theSimon and choose your website.
They can also go to myInstagram.
Go to the link tree in myInstagram and there will be
several links that you canchoose to buy this book.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
Preferably from a small bookstore.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Preferably from yeah that, but yeah, go get this book
.
Thank you, josh, that was agreat question.
Yeah, I mean, we're shamelesslyplugging here, so good job.
No, that's awesome.
Okay, bye, bye.
All right, it's nothing but anarchy.
I am Chad Sanders.
Welcome bike, morgan.
We got what?
5000 downloads now?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yes, we're doing something.
(00:22):
Look, this is a compoundinginterest vehicle.
Over time it is growing.
We're watching it grow.
Also, it is growing in artisticdimensions.
On Tuesday, me and Morgan wentout and did an episode of the
show in Prospect Park in therain, in the fucking rain.
We did not anticipate the.
(00:43):
I mean, we could not have it.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We saw it on the weather once we made the
decision, because it was alsosupposed to rain today.
So actually the reason why wedid it Tuesday is because when
we checked the weather last weekit said it was going to rain
today.
Obviously, it is not rainingnow, right now.
Of course it's not yes, but butI actually think that God and
the universe conspired in ourfavor, because that meant that
(01:06):
the park was basically empty, sowe didn't have to deal with a
bunch of foot traffic and peoplewalking past us and shit.
And this is the thing.
We're doing something here.
We call it a podcast, but likea podcast means anything.
Now, Like this is a show andwe're trying to offer you as
many dimensions of the show aspossible and within those
dimensions, like we're trying toalso bring, we're trying to
(01:29):
bring you with us where we're at.
So we're in the park.
We want you all to be able tosee the beautiful park.
A puppy comes and runs up onthe show.
We want you guys to be therewith us with the puppy.
A lot of people are consumingthis show while doing their life
.
Sitting there through a workcall that they don't want to be
on doing shit for their kids,making dinner, whatever.
(01:51):
Like we want you all to be ableto be with us and the show
while you're doing your life.
So we're trying to take it somenew places.
My birthday was yesterday, solet's start right there.
Tuesday we're, we got poured onlike we are cold and wet by the
(02:12):
end of this experience inProspect Park.
We did a little bit of it inunder the arch, like that you
walk into when you go in themain entrance of right by Grand
Army Plaza.
But for most of the show wewere getting poured on.
And then we get in the car andthe conversation is like we need
to drink ginger because we needto not get sick from this and
(02:33):
like Morgan and I really like Iknow everybody needs to not get
sick.
Obviously we all have likelives and shit like that, but
like we really need to not getsick, Like it's.
It's really bad for everythingIf one of us is not able to get
up and do the things we got todo.
We both have 50, 11 jobs, likewe both have to be on our feet
for our jobs, so we need to notget sick.
(02:55):
So we so thankfully we're notsick.
It's great.
But but as we're leaving,Morgan asks me.
She says something like um as ifyou were a birthday person you
asked about the birthday personand you asked if I was going to
get myself something for mybirthday Right, and my response
to that was what?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
you're going to let yourself spend more money on ads
.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I'm going to give myself a little more budget to
boost things that I am promotingon Instagram, and that is just
honesty.
At this particular phase of mylife, I am investing in growing
this platform so that this canbe, so that this expanded can be
(03:39):
my life for as long as I wantit to be.
So I don't want to spend $500on a jacket or $1,000 on a trip
and we're going to come back tothat.
Um, I would rather spend $1,000or $500, maybe a month or
$1,000, two months or two monthsfor $1,000, or a month $1,000.
(04:00):
Maybe two years for the 50s?
I'm thinking about $500, thatit could be the longest open
month for the beautyUR thatcould meinve and those answers
are to be reviewed in the twonextっ.
I would say the first half ofthe day was difficult for me For
(04:22):
a few reasons.
One, it's my first birthdaysingle in five years, basically.
So there was a.
You know I'm used to this lifenow.
I'm in this life now.
I'm honestly been enjoying thislife now, but it was like
birthdays are a weird momentwhere you are being asked by
(04:45):
people that care about you andothers and strangers in some
ways, to take stock of your life, like to take inventory.
And my life is not.
It just is what it is.
I gotta call it on its face.
Like my life is not like otherpeople's lives.
Like this is not a day where mycoworkers are gonna come bring
(05:07):
me a cupcake you know what Imean.
Like there's no going to theconference room where everybody
just sing happy birthday.
I don't get paid for a week.
Like I can't take paid time offto go on a vacation, you know
what I mean.
Like who's gonna pay me?
So on a birthday and I've saidthis about I feel this way on
(05:28):
other days too.
I often feel this way.
I used to feel this way onweekends, not as much right now,
but I often feel this way onholidays, where I can feel the
quiet.
Even from, like where I'mworking, which is honestly
mostly in my home office here inthe car on the way here, I can
(05:52):
feel the quiet of people notstirring at their places of
business and it annoys me thateverybody's chilling because I'm
fucking working and I'm workinglike that's not a sob story,
Like truly I love to work.
(06:14):
Part of what was hard for meyesterday was some voice was
telling me Chad, you're supposedto take it easy today.
Like I can hear someone beinglike oh, are you gonna take the
day off?
Oh, in fact, some people ask methat.
But like that's not fun to me,that's not like taking the day
off to do.
My whole life is a day off.
Like what the fuck am I gonnatake the day off to do?
(06:34):
Like dead ass.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I feel you on that.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Like what, like what would I like take a day off.
Nigga Like this.
What do you guys think of me?
I do every day, like so I'mlike, how am I supposed?
Okay, so I'm like, all right, Itake the day off and I look up
and I'm just sitting at mycounter drinking coffee because
I'm like I guess I'm taking theday off.
Like what the fuck is a day off?
Penny is okay.
(06:58):
So Penny's there, penny's withme, right?
Penny's my 80 pound Germanshepherd, four years.
She turns four next month.
Sweetheart of an animal, she'sat diarrhea for the last few
days because the dog said herlitter eat General South's
chicken.
I don't even wanna get into itby accident presumably
definitely had to be by accidentbut I'm like how does a dog get
(07:21):
General South's?
Is this General South's chickenon the floor?
Like, did she jump and get it?
Like I have had Penny for fouryears.
She has never gotten my foodone time.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
There's a lot of questions there.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It doesn't like.
I'm like how did you getGeneral South's chicken?
I'm like people shouldn't eveneat General South chicken.
Like how did you let the dogget it?
So General South's chicken isnot real Chinese food.
It is made up American Chinesefood.
Okay.
So I'm staying 100 million, 100million feet away from any jokes
(07:55):
about my dog eating Chinesefood.
So I'm just sitting there andnaturally I turn 36,.
I'm sitting there and I'm justlike there's nothing else.
This is another reason why I'mlike I shouldn't be taking a day
off.
There's nothing else to do butto just sit there and think
about my life.
Right, just literally just sitthere and be like all right, I'm
(08:19):
supposed to be relaxing.
So what the fuck?
What do I do?
Like, what do you do whenyou're relaxing?
Like well, here's what a lot ofpeople do go on Instagram,
watch TV, work on a creativeproject.
That's my job.
So what do I do when I'mrelaxing?
Like I took the dog to the dogpark, but like I do gotta do
(08:40):
that anyway.
So I felt this those holidaysand birthdays there's a couple
of other days that make me feel.
They make me feel thedissonance and the distance
between what my life is and whatother people's lives are like,
and I bet you guys can bothrelate to this in your own ways.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh, yeah, most definitely You're like.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
if there's a thing in me that feels bad when I feel
outcast from the tribe, when Ifeel like not a part of the
tribe, it swells on theseparticular days.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
For sure my birthdays in like two weeks.
I have a similar.
I wanna be feeling the same way.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And again, there you go.
Well, hopefully a little bitless today for your connection,
but like it's like okay, somaybe.
And then you know people arecalling, people are texting and
it's nice.
For the most part it's meant tobe nice.
I don't say I'll peep about iton social media because I don't
until late at night, because Idon't want my phone to explode
with happy birthdays fromstrangers and I'm just like
(09:42):
that's useless.
So I, at some point in themiddle of the day, I start to
feel a little bit better becausethe day is passing over.
Some people think I'm abirthday person because I had
three birthday parties for my30th birthday in two different
cities.
But like that was my 30thbirthday.
(10:03):
That's insane.
That was my 30th birthday andalso like I had a different
setup then.
Like I was on payroll then,like it was when you're on
payroll you can take a night andgo to the club or go on
vacation or whatever, becauseyou know the following Monday or
Friday or two weeks lateryou're gonna get another check
(10:24):
and you know exactly how much isgonna be in it.
This is that's not what it is.
So another thing that's come upI'm nominated for an award at
South by Southwest on Monday,monday night, and I'm just this
is for me to like put you underthe hood.
Like there's now a growingcommunity here of people who can
hear me right now, of peoplewho want to do some version of
(10:48):
whatever it is that I do for, ifnot for a living, then for a
substantial side income.
But I want to like put youunder the hood of like what that
entails.
Okay, I'm nominated for anaward.
South by Southwest bestbusiness finance podcast.
Direct deposit was nominated.
Okay, josh also worked on thatshow.
(11:09):
We're very proud of that show.
Lot of smart, good peopleworked on that show.
Very proud of it.
It was nominated for award itin Vegas maybe like 14 months
ago.
I went for that.
One dressed up, got a greatclip on the red carpet.
It's done great for me onInstagram.
Didn't win the award.
I was nominated for threeawards Didn't win any of them
(11:30):
was salty, went home.
This time things are a littlebit different for me.
Okay, going to South bySouthwest not being flown there
by Audible, not being flownthere by South, by not being
flown there as a contractor oran employee of someone else's
(11:51):
company.
This would be the trip would besponsored by Chad, okay, which
means it's expensive to get toAustin from New York City.
We're gonna have fights rightnow that are about $450 to $550
round trip.
That's for direct flights andI'm definitely not doing a
layover to go to Austin Hotel.
(12:13):
That's gonna be another $200 to$450.
Thereabouts, especially duringSouth by Southwest.
So now we're in the like $900range for this trip.
I could probably wear somethingI already have.
So let's just say I don't evenbuy.
No, fuck it.
Let's just do it, because ify'all wanna do this, this is
part of it you gotta buy anoutfit.
That's gonna be another $100 to$300, to $500 possibly.
(12:39):
If you are a lady, gotta get myhair done.
That's another $100 to $150,right.
So now we're in the like $1300to $1500 ballpark to go for one
night to go walk on a red carpet, get some good media and
hopefully win an award.
My dog's gotta be cared for.
(12:59):
If you got kids, it's probablythree times as much, but that's
gonna be another $50 to $100 ifI stay for an extra night, and
I'm not gonna stay for an extranight because that's gonna be
another $450 in the hotel orwhatever the fuck.
So let's just ballpark it allat like.
Let's just call it $1500.
$1500 is in the generalballpark of my payroll for one
(13:25):
month of this job, right Of thisproduction.
That's a month of us coming inthis studio, me paying my
assistant Destiny, me paying ourcontent person Luigi.
Like that's a month, okay, amonth of life that I would be
spending on one night to go andhopefully win this fucking award
.
$1500,.
(13:46):
My budget right now is about$30 to $50 per day of money that
I spend to boost ads onInstagram.
So for $1500, I can get my shitin front of like 50 to 100,000
people who don't know about me.
Okay, I just can't, as I satwith it and sat with it and sat
(14:06):
with it like I just can't makeit make sense.
I cannot in this particularmoment of my life and I'm
thankful for a birthday becausea birthday did make me take
stock of this I cannot be vainenough to be like it is worth it
for me to go and look prettyand walk across the stage,
hopefully For me to trade thatoff for everything that I could
(14:27):
get for those $1500,.
Like, the shit is getting madein here, the shit is getting
made in Prospect Park, the shitis not getting made at South by
Southwest.
So not going, but Morgan'sgoing and I hope.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I'm gonna hopefully yeah, I'm going for work, so I'm
getting paid, so that'sdifferent.
Yeah, no, it's completelydifferent.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Your hotel room is probably taken care of.
You're getting a check, likeMorgantron is going, and I'm
hopeful that Morgantron will goand represent me at South by I
mean at the podcast awards andif she does, I'm gonna try to
get Morgan to agree.
I'm gonna try to write a smallscript for Morgan so that if I
win the award when she takes thestage Morgan can and then I'm
(15:08):
gonna do what you do in thisstudio literally every week and
go and go rogue.
Oh, morgan, don't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Okay, well, we'll figure it out, but anyway, lots
of hand gestures, lots of handgestures, lots of hand gestures,
wear a bandana, so Be like holdplease.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
This is what's going on.
These are the departure Ipromise you all.
A year ago, two years ago, Iwould have 100% spent that
$1,500 to go to South bySouthwest, but like the mission
is tight right now, the missionis like it is well-framed, I see
it, and it's like keep doingwhat you're doing, like you
(15:50):
click.
This is the time to click,click, click, click, click,
click, click, click.
With that said, I did get aphenomenal birthday gift, which
is my title was approved for mybook at Simon Schuster yesterday
, which I'm very excited about.
I'm still not ready yet exactlyto say what the title is, but I
(16:12):
will be very, very soon andthis is gonna dovetail into our
next segment.
I was very coy about promotionfor the first few years of this
journey.
You are about to see me be soshameless and hungry about
(16:33):
promoting this next book in away that, honestly, will
probably be very inspiring tosome of you and some of you all
will find it distasteful and youwill probably pay more
attention than the people whoactually like it.
So Variety published a pieceyesterday.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
That was.
It doesn't matter to you all.
If you're listening on podcasts, it's whatever day.
Variety published a piece thatwas about people who are
nominated for Oscars doing themedia PR cycle and promoting
themselves to win those Oscars.
Right, it's something.
That promotion.
Let's just.
This will just be the promotionsegment because I just talked
(17:20):
about, I'm about to promote.
I am going to promote the fuckout of this book that is coming
out.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Do you want me to read the title?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Of my book, no of the Just kidding.
Yes, please.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
When an actor tries to quote unquote, tries too hard
.
The pros and cons of awardsseason self-promotion.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So all right, this.
Let me first just examine theconcept.
So you're nominated forsomething, not just Oscars, but
this happens in everything.
This happens when you'renominated for a promotion, like
at work at your company.
This happens when you'renominated for school board, like
whatever it is.
You're nominated for somethingand there is a process or an
(18:03):
expectation for the nominee todo the rounds of schmoozing and
charming and ass kissing andtrying to get.
It's basically a sales job, likeyou're trying to get people to
want you to win the thing sothat they can put forward
whatever it is that they need toget done to make it happen for
you.
And there's a lot of differentways to sell.
(18:25):
There's a lot of different waysto get people to want to do
something for you.
There's a lot of different waysto get people to take action
and, in my opinion, they are allsort of bespoke to the audience
.
Whoever it is, that you or thepowers that be, whoever you're
trying to get to make a move,and who you are and what you're
working with For some people.
In my opinion, the mostsustainable and the one that is
(18:51):
like the one that you can betyour odds on is, to me, being
real, like just being like.
If the thing is, hey, I reallywant to win this award and you
got to get in front of the rightpeople to win the award, then
get in front of those people andtell them what the award means
(19:11):
to you, or figure out what it isthat they care about, how
they're incentivized.
Tell them, if you believe it,how you winning that award is
going to achieve their incentive.
If they want this award to mean, for instance, they want this
award to be the pinnacle ofartistic achievement, get in
front of them and make clear tothem why you are the right
(19:35):
representation of the pinnacleof artistic achievement.
Whatever this article, thispiece is I don't even think it's
an article, I think it is anopinion piece, right, more or
less.
It is taking that phenomenonand putting this specific
magnifying glass on the mostprestigious night and event of
(19:59):
Hollywood.
Basically, which Morgan tells medo not do another segment
bashing the Oscars?
Okay, I won't, but it'sspeaking to the very fine needle
to be thread by someone whowants to win, which is that you
must be charming and you mustshow up, but don't be too
(20:23):
thirsty, right?
It's like this little balancingact, right?
Like, make sure you kiss theirasses, but only one cheek.
And it makes me think of peoplelike Leonardo DiCaprio, as an
example, who for a long timewanted to win an Oscar and it
(20:45):
was held out, and he was heldout, didn't win the Oscar for a
long time and he didn'teventually won the Oscar.
Right, wouldn't he win theOscar?
I think it was for Revenant.
For Revenant, yeah, that soundsright, but it almost became
like at a certain point.
There's almost like this shotin Freud however you pronounce
(21:07):
that word, that German word thatmeans enjoying someone else's
pain there's almost this likeshade in Freud, shot in Freud,
whatever it is that takes overthe academy, the fans, the
audiences, the nation, whereit's almost like fun to watch
the pain of someone who wantssomething so bad and cannot get
it.
It happens in sports too.
(21:28):
This is here sports.
Look, some of us have enjoyedwatching LeBron try to catch
Michael Jordan and not have itand it not happen.
That happens all the time.
It would happen with otherathletes, not just LeBron, like
we, sometimes, once we have lita snowball build, where we
define somebody by what theydon't have, it almost becomes
(21:51):
fun to like root for them tostay out of the club.
It's mean.
It's mean as fuck, not when youdo it to LeBron, but it's mean
generally speaking.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Is there any subject that you cannot connect back to?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
No, because his face is in front of me every single
day.
It's like a giant hot airballoon.
How could I look around it?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It's a real talent of yours.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, exactly, I can't help it.
So I can't help it, like, ifyou put, I'm 36 years old.
For the last 20 years I haveseen LeBron James name and image
probably every single day of mylife.
So it's gonna be real hard forme to not bring things when we
talk about sports my favoritebasketball.
Anyway, let me get to the point.
(22:35):
Let me get to what I reallywanna say here.
If the game requires, so let meapply it to myself right now.
I'm not being coy aboutmarketing myself and promoting
(22:58):
myself.
I am not being cutesy aboutthat.
Like when you see my image andwhen you see my voice, I am
being myself and I am being, Ithink, tasteful for the most
part, unless I'm just like beinga dork for fun.
Even that, I think, is kind oftasteful.
But like, I'm not being coyabout the volume.
I'm not being coy about you'regoing to see my little thing, my
(23:25):
circle, my circle, my Instagramcircle, is gonna be at the top
of your shit every time you goon Instagram, because that's the
volume and I still know I'm notplaying at the peak and most
effective volume.
I'm trying to get there, but,like when you go on the internet
(23:45):
until you fucking block me.
You're going to see me becauseI have something to tell you, I
have something to say, I havesomething that I need us to do
together here, so you're goingto see me.
That is why, in my opinion, Iam better served for this side
of the industry than for thecutesy side with tuxedos.
(24:09):
Because over there you gotta doa dance Like you gotta it's
twister, you gotta like put yourright hand on blue and your
left foot on purple and you'reall twisted and knots because 10
different people in thisacademy, or 50 or however many
of these motherfuckers are theyall want something different
(24:30):
from you.
They all want you to be someonedifferent to earn their favor.
And I just can't relate tosomeone who can live like that
for a prolonged period of time.
And truthfully, I don't thinkyou can live like that for a
(24:50):
prolonged period of time.
I think when you do live likethat for a prolonged period of
time, you end up running up onthe Oscar stage and smacking a
nigga.
That's what happens when you dolike this.
I haven't read the piece becauseit was yesterday's my birthday,
so fuck it, but I imagine thatWill Smith was not named in this
(25:10):
piece.
Is that right?
No, that's because you niggasdon't know how to do this.
Like me, he should have been,because that Will Smith thing is
the exact result of thisphenomenon of having to squeeze
yourself into a tiny little holelike be thirsty, but not too
(25:32):
thirsty.
You can't do that.
Your back hurts, and then allof a sudden somebody says the
wrong thing and you literally goup and commit a violent act on
stage the night that youactually win Best Actor.
How could they?
That is such a miss.
They didn't talk about WillSmith in the article.
I'm sorry, man.
(25:53):
Okay, I'm not going to be anasshole, but you guys are bad at
this.
That is such an obvious slamdunk.
If you're going to write thispiece I'm sorry, I don't know
who wrote it, I don't care,whatever, whatever, but if
you're listening, you can, you,you?
You know what I'm saying.
Like you can't write the pieceabout doing the dance to win
(26:13):
Best Actor and then not mentionWill Smith.
That is such an air ball.
All right, that's, that's anaside.
I'm leaving it alone.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
The writer's knob jumped out.
Do you feel?
Do you guys feel me, though?
How could you not?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
No, you guys don't feel me.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
No, no, no.
I feel you now that you said it.
I didn't think about it when Iread it, but I'm.
I think that's such a miss.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
It happened like 14 months ago.
Okay, whatever, and I connectedlike.
I connected to how I feel I am.
I am honored to be, like,nominated for something.
Take that away.
I'm honored.
It's really exciting to meevery time a publication or
(26:53):
someone who I look up to or likewho is a big Titan in industry
or whatever it's flatteringevery single time somebody like
that thinks that I'm good.
It's flattering every singletime someone who's not in that
at all, but who's just aconsumer of.
Every time I get a LinkedIn ora DM that says yo, I read your
(27:14):
book and da, da, da, da, da, da.
It's very flattering everysingle time.
However, those are outputs andthey are uncontrollable, like.
Those are things that happen inreaction to this process, which
is controllable.
If I go to South by Southwest,there's nothing I can do to make
(27:37):
sure that I actually win thataward.
If you go to the Oscars,there's nothing.
There's no amount of ass youcan kiss and I promise you, if
you kiss 100 asses and you lose,you will not look at yourself
the same way and God forbid youwin, because then your life is
going to be a sequence of asskissing for the rest of time,
(27:59):
hoping that that will create theoutput that you.
Thinking that those two thingswere connected, that the ass
kissing and the reward areconnected, is a dangerous
philosophy.
This is a pretty good segment.
I'm reminded of Mark.
You always giggle when I givemyself a compliment.
I gotta give it a fucking.
You know what I mean.
(28:20):
My high school basketball coachtold a story that I ended up not
putting on yearbook and I wishthat I had.
He talks about my high schoolbasketball coach is the most
anal, disciplined person I haveever met in my life, and I used
to be Spike Lee's mentee.
Okay, this person used to.
(28:41):
If you were a minute late, asecond late, for practice, we
would run the entire practice.
If we lost a game my junioryear, we would have 5 AM
practice the next day in thesnow.
He was a absolute blowhard.
In fact, one time this is theday I was driving the hearse, my
(29:01):
old Volvo, to school.
I had my two boys in the carbecause we had 5 AM practice.
We get there and coach Pickermis not there yet we're sitting
in the parking lot for 30minutes, all of us so sad and
cold, just like what the fuck?
He's not even here.
I called him to be like hey,coach, are you here?
We're just trying to get in thegym.
(29:22):
And then he didn't pick up Meand my two friends, justin and
Marcus.
We spent the next probably likefour minutes just being like
man.
We were probably using allkinds of lingo you can't even
use in 2024, like just like whata fucking this that the third.
What a bitch ass.
Nigga like this that the third.
Blah, blah, blah.
And then my phone goes beep.
(29:42):
Your message has ended.
I was like no, are you serious?
Yeah, dead ass, dead ass.
He never brought it up so Idon't know but I know that was
quite a scene, but he tells hisstory.
He tells his story.
I know his story is tragic, butthere was honestly nothing
worse he could do to us thanwhat he was already doing to us.
(30:05):
He was, but he also.
He changed us.
He changed me.
I'll speak for myself.
He changed me.
We went to the samechampionship that year.
He made me realize the process,the inputs.
You gotta fucking find a way toenjoy that side of the thing,
because you don't know if theseshmucks are going to call your
(30:27):
fucking name, you don't know ifthe referees are going to have
it go your way.
You just don't know.
So focus on what you can do.
This is a story he told Beforewe came through and had success,
and he had success before myteam came.
But when he started his jobfirst year coaching, he was 30
years old, young, and he was thesame process anal-oriented
(30:50):
person.
Anal-oriented, that is not agood term to say about my coach.
That's not what I meant.
That's not what I meant.
I meant he was anal andprocess-oriented, not process
and anal-oriented.
He coached another schoolcalled Poolsville.
They didn't win a game theentire first season.
Go to the playoffs.
His best player, star player ona very bad team is late to
(31:14):
school.
The rules were if you miss aclass on a game day, you do not
play.
But he played him anywaybecause he wanted to win that
playoff game so badly for hisown career.
They fucking lost.
Anyway.
It is his most shameful loss.
(31:36):
It is his most shameful momentas a coach.
As he described it was that hebroke his process to try to get
a treat and he still didn't getthe treat.
You lose your dignity in theprocess while trying to get
something you don't even get.
That is what this little dance,that is what Hollywood demands
(31:58):
of you, Like, drop off yourdignity so you can get this
treat and you still don't getthe fucking treat.
You don't get the treat byanything else besides being dope
and having a budget to spend onmarketing.
So I'm not going because I needmy monies.
(32:18):
Okay, I feel like there was alanding point here.
No, there's not, but this isthe only thing I want to say,
Because this was all.
Can this all just be onebirthday segment?
Because I just want to say onelast thing, which is the day
started with I accidentally shutPenny's tail in the door.
Penny, and Penny is a big animal.
(32:40):
She's tough, Okay, she gets allkinds of shit going on.
You never hear this dog cryever.
And she cried and she was like,and I was like oh, I felt it
was in there for like literallyone instant and she was just.
She was scared, she wasstartled and like you can't pull
a dog's tail.
She was fine, though.
She cried, cried, cried, cried,cried, Goes in the house,
(33:01):
Everything's fine.
Two seconds later she forgetsabout it, which is what I love
about dogs.
But I go have this wholebirthday emotional journey.
Then, second half of the day,I'm feeling better, more, bigger
, more, more, more, more verblike more energized again, and
thank God this day is almostover.
And then, like, go out, likehave, like, enjoy my night, have
(33:23):
a steak, like all the, all thethings you know what I'm saying,
Appreciate it.
And then I come home at the endof the night this is my
birthday Come home at the end ofthe night.
I only live with one othercritter and it's Penny.
There's no people and I walk inmy house and it fucking stinks.
I look down the hall and shehas shat on the runner in the
(33:46):
kitchen like a big dookie, a bigold shitty dookie just right
there on the thing.
And that was like that wasliterally the only birthday gift
I got.
I guess, Like literally myparents' gift didn't even come
on time, so that was my happybirthday.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
All right anyway, hey everybody, welcome back to
Nothing but Anarchy with yourhost, chad Sanders.
I just really wanted to take aminute to shout out Gangsters by
Flowers.
I think they're a really dopebrand Talks about duality of a
man and I, as a man, feel like Ihave a lot of feelings that we
(34:23):
should appreciate more.
So, yeah, this is thesweatshirt you should go buy
from them.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Listen, man, honestly , I honestly think we're having
a good show, but like, yes, itwas my birthday and I did not
prepare, so and I usuallyprepare Like we didn't know what
to put on the docket thismorning we were in the rain,
guys, like we were out in therain, haven't looked at the reel
yet, don't tell me how it'sdoing.
I think it's probably doingpretty good, though I did a
trick, which is I was like, hey,you wanna wish me a happy
birthday?
Share this reel to your storyinstead of wishing me a happy
(34:55):
birthday.
Some people, of course, wish mea happy birthday Anyway, but
it's fine, all right.
John Mulaney my sister told meabout this like two years ago.
I kind of let me try to tellyou what I think I remember from
John Mulaney's story.
John Mulaney was married tosomebody.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Anna Marie Tendler.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Now okay, john Mulaney is a comedian.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
And Anna Marie Tendler is a.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
She's like a multi media.
She does like photography,digital stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
She's a media person and they were married.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
And then he left her.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Yeah, divorced her.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Divorced her and married oh and married.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
He's not married, he's just.
He had a baby with Olivia Munn.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Olivia.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Munn yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Aaron Gordon.
Everyone Rogers is theex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Oh, I know, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
She's on what's it called Newsroom.
I think that's what it's called.
Right that show Anyway.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Is that Aaron Sorkin's show?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, All right.
Also, morgan, I also wanted to.
Morgan said before this showstarted she was like she was
just talking about how manypeople are getting laid off and
like and yes, this is not notthis, that like scripted TV and
(36:16):
movies and stuff, like it's nota real industry, because it's
not a real business, because TVshows don't make money.
So, yes, it's not, it's, thisis it's.
I mean, we've been saying itfor 11 months now like this is
over, this is over.
There's, this is a new, there'sa new thing to do creative
(36:36):
people.
Okay, anyway, tell me about,tell me what to know.
Why is this new?
What's happening with JohnMulaney right now?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Okay.
So for context, I was I am abig John Mulaney fan and then I
made interested.
Okay, actually, I'm gonna start.
So he was married to Anna MarieTendler for six years and he
talked about her a lot in hisstandup, like his early standup.
They never had kids, theydidn't want kids.
They had a dog, petunia, and hejoked a lot about also how he
(37:07):
used to be addicted to drugs buthe had been clean and sober for
X-Mounties years.
He went to rehab in December of2020 because he was back on
drugs, not doing well, and thenhe got out in February 2021 and
divorced his or filed fordivorce in July of February 2021
(37:31):
.
And there's a little bit ofoverlap here, I think, because
him and Olivia Munn announcedthat they had started dating in
May of 2021.
And everybody was kind of like,wow, that's so crazy, you know,
leaving your wife after shesupported you all these years?
(37:52):
X-mt, blah, blah, blah all theX-MT opinions.
I want him to say I do not knowthese people.
So there's that.
And now he had a baby withOlivia Munn and everybody again
was like, oof, you spent allthese years with your wife and
you guys never had kids, saidyou never wanted to have kids.
Now you have kids.
Yikes Don't know what thatmeans.
And so it was just announcedthat Anna Marie Tendler is
(38:15):
coming out with a memoir calledMen have Called Her Crazy, and
it is a powerful memoir thatreckons with mental health as
well as the insidious ways menimpact the lives of women, and I
am very interested to read.
So is my other friend who's areally big John Mulaney fan,
because up until this point,yeah, I don't know these people,
(38:36):
I don't know all the things,but I still say I'm a fan
because I do really like hiscomedy.
And then in August, when thisbook comes out, I'll be
interested in what she has tosay.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Okay, I have a few questions.
All right.
Number one why is this Gen Znews when these are all people
older than me?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Well, I felt it was Gen Z news because it was
something I was interested in.
Okay, all right cool.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
All right, that answers that question.
Number two what percentagechance would you say?
Where would you put thepercentage at on you buying this
book, paying money andreceiving this book?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I would say hi, because I think we're gonna do a
book club.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Oh, wow, okay.
So all right, let's talk aboutmen being bad people, because
that sounds like what the bookis about, right?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
What's the title again?
Yeah, men have called her crazy.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
And what's the subtitle?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
The thing about the book is a powerful memoir that
reckons with mental health aswell as the insidious ways men
impact the lives of women.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
All right, my guess I'm gonna predict that there's
actually very little written inthis book about John Mulaney,
but that this is a catchy wayfor her to launch her press tour
.
Like I said about Resa, tessa,risa, tisa, risa, risa and
(40:05):
anybody else, like I'm saying tomyself right now, if you take
the window of opportunity to getyour shit off and it includes
being a little spicy that'sgonna come with like there's no
internet police, like nobody canbe, like don't say those mean
(40:26):
things to her, like that'scoming for her, and it's gonna
come from the dude Joe Roganincel side of the internet and
like the if black people areeven aware of this the Kevin
Samuel's sphere, and it's gonnabe really mean and it's gonna be
really spicy.
But get your shit off.
(40:48):
I was watching, I watched aquarter of little poor things
poor things last night and so,man, I have done such incomplete
homework on this entire episode.
Like, yeah, but I think I'mdoing pretty good.
I think this is like a B plusepisode and that to me sometimes
(41:12):
when I over prepare, I get likea C minus.
So, as I can tell, that movieis about women being
infantilized by men.
Spoiler alert okay, if youhaven't seen Poor Things.
Now's your chance.
I'm gonna give you threeseconds to stop listening or
move away from your computer.
All right, one, two, three,okay.
(41:35):
In the first quarter of themovie it is revealed that Emma
Stone's character is an adultwoman who committed suicide and
had her brain had a baby's brainimplanted into her own brain,
and I know that sounds crazy.
It's done very artistically, itlooks really really cool, it
(41:56):
looks beautiful and it soundsbeautiful and the writing's good
and all that.
But it's about meninfantilizing women and keeping
them, as far as I can tell,keeping them under control.
But I think it means toeventually say that the woman's
spirit, a woman's spirit, is sopotent and so big and so
(42:17):
powerful that it cannot becontained in that way, unless a
woman chooses for it to becontained that way, something
like that.
I think that's where it's going.
This lady is writing a book.
She was certainly embarrassedby how things played out with
John Mulaney.
I think anybody could relate tothat.
I think any of us would beembarrassed by something like
(42:39):
that.
And, okay, I'm gonna tell youall as a writer, as an author
there is, as somebody who doesthis twice a week, as somebody
who writes op-eds.
As somebody who has manyplatforms and places to get a
(43:00):
message across, I'm gonna say,about five or six years ago yeah
, maybe even less than that Ifelt incredibly stung by a
couple people in my life who Iwas close to and I had this like
villain origin story replayingin my head.
(43:24):
That man when it was my turn,like I was gonna get in front of
that camera and I was gonnachew their head off.
I was gonna tell people, I wasgonna like what's the word?
I was gonna reveal who thesepeople really are and I was
gonna be so incisive and cuttingand like I was gonna really get
my revenge.
And now, granted, what thesepeople did to me was probably
(43:53):
way less painful, way lessimportant, way less impactful
than what happened between JohnMulaney and Anna Marie Tindler.
And I imagine there are otherthings that men throughout the
span of Anna Marie Tindler'slife have done to her that are
probably all bottled andprocessed and about to come
through hissing in this book.
(44:19):
And I guess, when I see a titlelike this, or when I think of a
story like this, when I thinkabout my own decisions, about
what I, what do I want topublish?
A decision that I always haveto make is when I publish this.
I am giving this new life, likewhen I publish this, if this
thing was on its way to dying.
It is, it is revived again, itis going to circle me.
(44:42):
It is going to be theconversations that I have in my
life.
The mirror that I look will bea mirror of this.
When I put direct deposit outand I say I go to therapy and
I'm embarrassed and my mom'sgoing to feel way, way, way, way
, guess what my mom calls me,and we have a conversation Like
when you put the shit out therethere's stuff that's going to be
in my new book that I have notshared with pretty much anybody
(45:06):
except my old partner and acouple of maybe.
That's it honestly.
And I and I'm making aconscious decision that, like
when you, it is now in the worldand it is in your life, like it
is going to surround you.
I felt it.
(45:27):
So I think I don't think in anyway that Anna Marie Tindler if
her, if what she's going to dohere is throw stones at John
Mulaney, if she feels stung, orthrow stones at other men that
have made her feel stung, oreven if she plans to like, be
(45:48):
thoughtful and methodical andincisive, which this title does
not suggest.
I really do think thatultimately, the most of the
sacrifice will fall on her.
Like, I think, as the author,most of the weight of what
you're going to feel from thatis going to be this is why I do
not want to.
(46:08):
I want to write serious things.
I want to write meaningful,impactful things, but I do not
want to write sad shit becausethen sadness becomes you.
I don't want to be an activistbecause then even though Josh
said this bandana was me leadinginto my activism shit, like I
(46:30):
don't want to be that because,like I don't want to become
activism, like I don't want tobecome struggle, because then I
will live in a life of struggle.
So if you are going to write thecutting, precise exploration of
the ugliness of men which, bythe way, I am interested in I
(46:52):
think it is like I think it'sprobably underrated how familiar
a white person told me thisabout white people once.
I feel the same way about guys.
It is probably underrated howfamiliar and how annoyed by the
ugliness of men other men arealso are so like how exhausted I
(47:15):
am by Niggas Like I might.
I myself might read this book,you know what I mean, just to
kind of like get a little bit,just get a little bit of that
action.
But boy, is it going to comewith a lot of fucking headaches
for Ann Marie Tendler, who seemslike she has already had quite
a few headaches to this point.
Wait, I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
There's only a couple of minutes left, but with with
your book, yes, you delved intosome stuff that.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
I sure did.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah, and I feel like you said that, you feel kind of
whole, or like you said that.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Did you notice that I changed my phone number?
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah, no, that's true , yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Like I had to drop it off.
You know what I mean.
It became a wait, like itreally did.
I mean it was like it ruinedsome days for me, like it ruined
some moments for me, likejoyful, happy, easy moments at
my resting state, like this.
I actually do think this comesthrough clearly about me Am I
resting state?
(48:18):
I am fucking jolly, like I'mjust like, I'm just like bopping
around like Kirby, you knowwhat I mean.
And then, but like, art bringschaos and honesty can bring
chaos.
Like telling something as it isthe way people, the way I still
I'm still getting them.
Like the way I became a bounceback for other people's trauma.
(48:42):
When your book came out, Iliterally had to opt out.
I had to like change my number,you know, stop checking all the
DMs and give myself like somespace, because I'm not like I'm
not a therapist, I can't justlike not a receptacle for
people's pain.
So that's I'm.
Your book is another proofpoint to me for this.
(49:05):
My book is about selling out,which I have said, and it is
going to, I would say, continueand give new life to and stir up
a conversation that is, I think, percolating around selling out
and with the microscope on myown life and ways that I have
(49:28):
chosen to make trade offs, race,looking at public figures, but
hopefully that will also expandinto, like other cultures, other
people, other professions andways people sell out there.
I think it's going to bring tome a conversation that I will
(49:50):
actually enjoy, which is why Ifeel more excited about the
release of it.
In a different way, I feel amore pure excitement for it.
It's going to be.
It's going to have some.
It's going to have some anarchyin it.
It's going to have some chaos.
It's going to bring some likesome people poking at me and
looking at me funny and like allthat kind of stuff.
This book is very earnest andit's very.
(50:13):
This is about like, how can welift ourselves up?
You know what I mean and I likethat.
But it also brought to me a lotof just brought a lot of the
struggle, you know, and I don'talways want to talk about the
struggle.
So that's it, nothing butanarchy.
Thank you for being with us.
We'll see you all on Morgan.
(50:33):
Are we ever going to releasethe live show audio?
Yeah, I know Live show audioscoming.
And Josh, can I ask you aquestion?
Yeah, where can people get thatbook, this book?
Yeah, where can people getblack magic?
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, black leaders learn from the top of the aisle.
Yeah, right next to you, thisone, right here.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yeah, how does this even get here.
People can get this book onAmazon.
They can also get it on theSimon and choose your website.
They can also go to myInstagram.
Go to the link tree in myInstagram and there will be
several links that you canchoose to buy this book.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
Preferably from a small bookstore.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Preferably from yeah that, but yeah, go get this book
.
Thank you, josh, that was agreat question.
Yeah, I mean, we're shamelesslyplugging here, so good job.
No, that's awesome.
Okay, bye, bye.
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