February 3, 2025 • 34 mins
Imagine transforming your career by aligning your personal convictions with your professional ambitions. This episode celebrates our one-year anniversary by welcoming the insightful Rocky Garza, a transformative keynote speaker and leadership coach, who shares how authenticity and vulnerability can revolutionize leadership. Rocky provides a fresh perspective on building genuine personal connections to enhance professional relationships, especially in fields where trust is paramount. His compelling insights offer a blueprint for creating a meaningful and successful career, emphasizing how personal experiences can be a bridge to building trust.
Rocky takes us through his personal journey from being a camp counselor to a pastor, and eventually an entrepreneur. He candidly shares the challenges of vulnerability, the drive for deeper connections, and how these experiences led to a successful photography business. His story is a testament to the power of embracing change and leveraging diverse experiences to create a vocation that merges ministry, entrepreneurship, and a passion for helping others. This narrative is not just about professional transitions; it's about unlocking potential and discovering a path that integrates purpose and leadership.
In our exploration of personal growth coaching, we uncover strategies to overcome limiting beliefs that hold you back. Rocky advocates for a long-term commitment, offering individualized guidance to help you chart your own path. We challenge listeners to reflect on the stories and narratives that have shaped their identities, urging a reevaluation of self-talk and internal dialogues. By confronting these personal stories, we can transform self-doubt into self-assurance and focus on the truth of who we are, ultimately realizing our potential and creating a lasting impact in both personal and professional realms.
To get your free e-book, visit: https://rockygarza.com/confidence
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And most of our listeners are real estate agents
, entrepreneurs, ooh, what's inthe drink, like I mean, what's
the tea drink?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, it's Noon.
Electrolytes.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh nice, I said mom liked it.
And the third cup of coffeethat I just finished.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay, Welcome back to the Now Podcast Making Moves in
Real Estate.
Today we're celebrating a hugemilestone.
Courtney, tell our listenerswhat's today?
Our one-year anniversaryepisode?
Yes, so to mark this specialoccasion, we have an
extraordinary guest named RockyGarza.
Rocky is a transformativekeynote speaker, trusted advisor
(00:57):
to eight-figure CEOs, anaccomplished leadership coach.
For over a decade, he's beenempowering individuals and teams
to break through limits,rediscover their core and lead
with authenticity.
With a communications degreefrom Texas A&M we love Texas
Rocky has worked with powerhousecompanies like Zillow,
(01:21):
Microsoft, Blue Cross, BlueShield, guiding leaders to align
their strengths with values,with their values, and lead with
bold confidence.
So in this episode today,Rocky's going to dive into how
vulnerability and authenticityaren't just buzzwords.
They're game changers.
He's going to share powerfulinsights and tools to help you
(01:41):
step into your true self andcreate lasting impact, whether
in business or life.
So, whether you're here tolevel up your leadership,
business or mindset, you don'twant to miss this episode.
No pressure, Rocky.
I like bringing the heat, butwelcome.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, thank you, thank you.
I so appreciate the chance tobe here with you and if you're
listening to be with you and hey, it's, it's never 52.
So if there was ever a day tobring the heat, today's that day
.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Today is the day we cannot wait to hear more about
you and your story and get someinsight for our listeners.
I've been listening to yourpodcast to get in some.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, so tell our listeners who you are.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, so, uh, my name is Rocky.
Um, I don't have hair and Ihave big eyebrows, so, whether
the glasses or not, I'm easy tofind.
Check me out there on the webs.
Um, I think for me the mostimportant or valuable thing is,
um, I have been married to mywonderful wife.
It'll be 16 years this year.
I have two incredible kids, um,a nine-year-old and a
six-year-old nine-year-old boy,six-year-old girl.
(02:47):
They are awesome and if there'sever anything in life to teach
you something, it is a child ofyour own to reflect back to you
everything you think no one cansee.
They will, in fact, show youthat they can see everything
that you don't think you likeabout you.
So that's neither here northere, but I think that's a
significant part, and I say thatbecause, yes, I'm a speaker and
(03:08):
a coach and so on.
That's just how I have beenextremely fortunate to sort of
take my life experience, whatI've seen.
I think I'm somebody that, eventhough it's not always great
for business, I'm I don't knowthat I'm an expert in much, but
I do have a lot of experience.
And so I think, and as I lookat life, as I look at where
we're going, how do you supportsomeone.
How do you sort of create theenvironment to allow someone to
(03:29):
see or be seen?
They're interested in thethings that you have either
experienced or you are currentlyexperiencing.
Rarely is anyone ever impressedby your expertise, unless you
just happen to be like thesingular expert.
Then for sure we're listening,but if we're all honest with
ourselves, that's probably notmost of us.
So, therefore, how do we takeour experiences and really allow
that to be the guide to go?
(03:50):
We're just looking to connectwith each other.
We want to be seen, we want tobe known, we want to believe
there's something unique aboutus, it's valuable, and we just
hope anybody else in the worldwill go hey, you know what,
courtney, I I see that in you,you know, michelle, like there's
something about like, if we canget to that moment, typically,
whatever goal we want to achievepersonally and professionally
in our business as anentrepreneur and corporate, it
doesn't matter where we are.
That's the thing that we'relooking for, right?
(04:11):
I know in the industry that youall are in, uh, there's been
plenty of memes out there thatI'm sure, as a real estate agent
, that we have found readingabout ourselves to go like you
know what?
What do we need them for?
It's just a piece of paper,it's just a.
You know I can.
I can negotiate myself.
I can't whatever all the thingspeople want to say that they
don't, they don't think thatit's valuable or usable to go
away.
Now we're looking for a humanbeing to connect with, because
(04:33):
many of us are making the singlegreatest largest decision I've
ever made in our entire life.
I trust that you can do yourjob, because that's what I'm
hoping that you're here for isyou're capable.
I'm looking to find somebodythat I could deeply connect with
.
So when it gets really hairy atthe end and I'm unsure and I
sort of have panic and I'm not,I don't know, and the inspection
isn't the way that I thoughtand I I'm not.
(04:54):
I'm not expecting you to be aninspection expert.
I'm hoping you to have the kindof experience that you have
seen someone like me feel likeme.
One, I don't feel alone and two, I feel like you're somebody
that I can trust, and so I thinkin my job.
My job is to help individuals,team leaders, executives,
business owners.
How do we see and discover that?
And what we would say is how dowe marry our personal
(05:16):
conviction with our professionalambition.
How do we find the intersectionof a deeply meaningful life and
a wildly successful career?
And I think every human beinghas that intersection.
I think, typically, though, weget on social and we chase that
intersection that somebody elsegot, that we think will make us
happy.
We build our house on thatstreet, no pun intended, and
then we wonder why we'redissatisfied.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Wow.
So, and I would assume some ofthat ties into your philosophy
of needing to be open to beingvulnerable and being authentic
in order to find bridge that gap.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
You know, I think I want tosteal a little bit of this.
It's it's sort of like a halfRocky, half Brene Brown
definition.
So I came from as her sort ofshe's maybe my spirit guide here
, and then sort of take my ownthing, like if we could, if we
could, if we could for today,say we're going to have a
working definition ofvulnerability, which is defined
as creating the opportunity tosee and be seen by others.
(06:08):
Then I think that sort of thegateway, like that juncture
there, that's where all the goodwork happens, like not putting
all your ish on the table foreveryone to see, not showing
your deepest, darkest secrets toevery person we meet, so we
hope that they like us, but thatdoesn't build connection for
most of us.
Every person we meet, so wehope that they like us, and
that's not.
That doesn't build connectionfor most of us.
However, creating theopportunity to see and be seen
means I have to show up and say,if I'm going to put on a mask
(06:30):
at some point it's going to falloff.
So I might as well show up andbe me.
And then what's the environmentthat I'm creating, opportunity
I'm creating for Courtney andMichelle to both say like we
also just want to show up and beus too.
But when we create that space,vulnerability exists because
there's no pretense where I feellike I have to be something in
order for it to be seen.
I have to be something in orderfor someone to approve of me.
I have to be something forsomeone we get crazy here.
(06:52):
I have to be something forsomeone to love me.
That's typically relationships.
Pick a category you want toStruggle when one or both
parties tend to not allowthemselves to be seen and the
default of that is that I can nolonger see you.
And then we wake up the nextamount of time and realize it's
not where we thought it would be.
(07:12):
I would say, if we find a wayto get back to the root of
vulnerability, we could do a lotof good work.
Now I'll be very clear.
I'm not a therapist, I'm not acounselor.
Don't take my advice I butsometimes I counsel or don't
take my advice.
I'm just saying from mypersonal experience I think I
think there's a lot to that Um,and so I think it's sort of sort
(07:32):
of my job and I think scrapthat to go like my own personal
conviction, like I spent mywhole life.
I spend my whole life wantingto be seen.
I want to be known.
I want to be loved.
I want to feel like I'mcreating value.
I I went to 13 schools before Igraduated high school.
My parents got divorced when Iwas young.
My mom's been married four orfive times.
I didn't realize the first dayof school meant like the first
day of school until I was inseventh grade.
(07:53):
Like I thought first day ofschool meant like the first day
out of school because it hadalways been my first day out of
school, right.
So like and I don't say likenot to be sad like I'm 41, been
to a lot of therapy, I'm feelingokay, all right.
So it's not like a sad story,it's just a story.
But I get all of that.
I think, if we sort of take ourstep back, regardless of our
profession, how we perform atwork is a direct reflection of
(08:14):
how we perform as a human.
We like to go and go get myskillset right for my job so
that I could do it better.
I really, though.
If you're struggling, it'sprobably due to lack of
connection.
Lack of connection is probablydue to lack of conversation.
(08:35):
Lack of conversation isprobably due to lack of
curiosity.
Lack of curiosity is probablydue because we're kind of afraid
that someone's going to ask usa question and we're going to
have to answer it and we don'tcurrently like the answer.
So we tend to not ask questionsand then we tend to not have
leads and then we tend to nothave closings.
So it's all for me, pick anindustry.
(08:56):
It's all woven and tiedtogether.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah.
So I want to know.
I have like all kinds ofquestions.
I mean you touched on a littlebit of your vulnerability, on
your background, but like howlong have you been doing this?
What got you into it?
You know, obviously you justtouched on that, you don't have
a psychology degree or whatever,but you obviously have some
experience.
But what, what got you intothis coaching role?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, yeah.
So I, um, I graduated collegeand I went to a place uh out in
in East Texas called sky ranch.
It's a summer camp for kids.
Um, I went there as a counselorwhile I was in college In 2004,
.
I was a counselor there thenext summer.
I graduated in 05, I got askedto come back and be full-time
staff and so I was like out ofcollege, no resume, guaranteed
(09:41):
job at a fun camp, $24,000 ayear, sign me up.
So I opted to go do that as myfirst job right out of college.
But it was an incredibleexperience, learned a ton.
I was, I was 21, uh, and wentfrom my college to then like,
being tasked hey, this summeryou have 150 college kids you're
in charge of and 3000 kidsstudents.
Good luck out there, we'll see,and we see it.
So, like, maybe not a greatthing for the camp, uh, but it
(10:02):
was awesome for me.
So that was sort of like myintro into wait, I care about
people.
I'm I'm kind of good atbuilding connections with people
.
Now, at the time, I thought Iwas fantastic at it.
Come to realize I was very goodat disclosure and very bad at
vulnerability, but we'll comeback to that in a second.
But I realized I was good atdisclosure.
I was good at buildingshort-term kind of quick hit
connection, and that seemed tosuffice to be pretty good at 21,
(10:25):
22 at a camp and a lot ofresponsibility.
If you can connect with people,you can do a good job.
So that was my first gig.
I did that for about four years.
I actually left there, came backto Dallas in 2008.
And I joined the pastoral staffat a church here in Dallas.
So I was actually a pastor fora while.
Technically, the camp I was atit was a faith-based camp as
well, so I was actually a pastoron pastoral staff, if you will,
vocationally my first career.
(10:46):
And then my transferred overand was a pastor to church.
I did that for about three anda half years or so, realized
during that time that I was anasshole and that I cared way
more about you liking me than Icared about teaching you about
God.
And again, did I have that levelof clarity?
Then?
I was 26 and had a faux hawkand one tattoo.
No, we know that's not the case.
(11:07):
That really wasn't the amountof clarity I had.
However, I had enough clarityto know this is going to be a
bad idea.
Because about three and a halfyears in, I got offered a
teaching pastor job.
Big church, a few thousandpeople hey, we're going to.
We'd love to come withtransition, be a teaching pastor
and if you'll just preach 26weekends a year, that's what we
want your job to be.
So at the time, like podcastinghad just just come out right.
This was 2009,.
2010, in 2010, which you knowRIP that podcast.
(11:30):
I wish I'd have kept that.
We'd be a lot better off now.
But we know we had a podcastthen, but no one will listen.
The six people who knew how toget to it could listen to it.
But then it realized like Ijust don't think this is it.
And so it was kind of this likeweird juncture of like I love my
belief, I love my faith, I lovewhat I've done, I just because
it makes perfect sense my wifeand I started a photography
business and that was more likemy wife had quit her job.
(11:56):
We had been doing photographyas a hobby, we had just gotten
married.
We had been married about ayear, no kids, no debt.
We lived in an apartment.
We're like let's just see whathappens.
She didn't like her job and Iwas ready to do something else,
and so that's kind of, if youwant to look at, like, what is
the last 16 years of marriagebeen like, take that as a
snapshot.
That's kind of how we roll.
So, like you know what, forgetit.
We don't know anything aboutsmall businesses.
We should start our own.
(12:17):
And so we started photographybusiness back in 2010.
We actually were full-timewedding photographers for about
five and a half years and shotabout 40 weddings a year.
It was really fun.
We got really lucky.
If we're being really honest,like Pinterest was invented
while we were photographers,instagram was invented while we
were photographers.
Personal branding became athing.
So, like we got very, verylucky in our own being naive
(12:37):
that we're like you know wecould do.
We could call it Sarah andRocky photography and then we'll
do what we want, you know.
And the market was like, ah,personal branding unbelievable.
We love you.
So like, not not on purpose,just got really lucky.
But for me, that sort of kind ofcreated this convergence of
like if I could take my lifeexperience, which is like it's
fairly unorthodox, and like, forthe love of mercy, someone
(12:58):
please love me.
My years of ministry at thatpoint were like I deeply care
for people and now sort of five,six, seven years of
entrepreneurship to go.
If I could squeeze all thistogether, if I could create what
we today say is theintersection of a deeply
meaningful life and a wildlysuccessful career, then we would
just say help people.
If we could help people and doanything, if I could converge
(13:18):
all those areas of life, if Icould become an expert at
anything, I would hope that Icould walk towards becoming a
people expert.
How can I help people find away to be seen, to be known, and
what we would say now is tolead well.
And really the last decade hasbeen sort of this big, huge
experiment.
I mean, if we're all, if we'rewilling to be honest with each
other.
Like I didn't wake up 10 yearsago, I was like this is where
(13:40):
I'll be in 10 years.
Like you couldn't haveconvinced me that was going to
be the case and like I think apart of that is is because
probably the mostly luck and atouch of consistency of like
just be good at what you're goodat.
Like you're not, you're not asales expert, you're.
You're not, you're not asystems expert for sure.
Um, but you can find a way tosay can you create environments
(14:06):
to allow people to sort ofreflect back?
And if we use sort of likeaggressive language, like, if I
can find a way at work, I thinkwhen people go to work, I think
there's a small window to theirsoul that gets left open that we
don't close all the way becausewe're at work.
No one's going to try to get inthere.
I kind of feel like it's my jobin the kindest way, uncreepy
way possible.
It's like how do I find my wayto that window?
(14:38):
How do we slide it open alittle bit and go, hey, we're
already here, we already foundit.
We might as well do a littlebit of reflecting to go who are
you?
What do you want, like actuallywant not, not, not.
What do you want anything inthe world?
Because the reality is youdon't really want that.
What do you actually want?
And then what's like a singlestep you can take tomorrow.
That's going to begin to walkyou in the direction of the
things you really want.
And I think over the course ofthe last decade that's led to
things like identity mapping,which is a process we have to
help people give clarity of whothey are the confidence method
which helps us really unpack theimposter syndrome, and where
(15:01):
does that come from?
And how do we even deal withthat Influence appraisal for
leaderships and teams?
And we can go on and on and onand on.
And the reality is is like each, each of those individual
things, most people don't careabout.
What they do care about issaying do you see me, do you
know me, and do you believe thatI can do something significant
in this world?
And if the answer to all thoseis yes, and I think a decade
later I can with deep convictionsay 100%, I believe that to be
(15:22):
true Well then, how do we helpguide individuals to that place?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And how do we create a chance for every person to say
there is something significantabout me?
And if I could find just theright word, maybe, maybe, then I
could take the next step.
Hmm, wow, okay, so that'sreally cool.
So you're working with, likecorporations, individuals, all
different kinds of industries,like you name it.
You got somebody out.
Yeah, with what?
Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So yeah, so we, we would say that, um, you know, we
, we're sort of even though it'snot, not sexy, right Like we're
sort of like industry agnostic.
Like you're in healthcare bootcost of your shield, let's go
Zillow software.
I got you EXP.
Realty say, let you know, likegreat, I'm glad that you love
your industry.
That's your job You're supposedto.
My job is not to be an expert inyour industry.
(16:16):
You should talk to your boss,like that's probably the person
you should go to.
You probably should come toRocky.
However, if you could find theplace where, like you as a human
being, take everything elseaway converges or sort of
intersects with my professionalambition, like I'm going to get
it have these goals reallyconnects with, like my personal
conviction, right Of like mylife, my family, my
(16:37):
relationships, If we could liketake all those things and like
squeeze those into one singleconnection point.
My job is to not only createthe environment, but to guide us
to that point as often as wepossibly can and then provide
the tools and resources that wecan exude and sort of find the
clarity that then leads to thecatalyst to create the life that
we want.
And so that's keynotes.
We do that through speakingAgain.
(16:57):
I'm not your typical 45 minuteroll in, roll out.
I have a good message, a goodstory to help you feel better.
You can get that on YouTube.
You shouldn't hire me Likeyou're going to be disappointed
because I'm immediately going tobe like yo, I need 90 minutes
minimum.
I'd prefer four hours.
You know, and the typicalconference is like that that we
have 26 speakers.
If we get across the stagetoday, I'm like, hey, guess what
?
I'm probably not a good personfor your conversation because
(17:19):
people are going to hate me.
Or if you want to rattle somecages and you really want people
to do the work, maybe, maybe wecould try something new.
So in our keynote space likeagain, we're not, we're not
doing 30 minute pop in, pop out,I just I think there's some
people that are great at that.
I personally don't have anydesire to do that because I
think you can go get that onYouTube Like I don't think you
(17:40):
need me to come to your event todo that for you.
We do that through no-transcriptand then we create a plan for
where you want to be.
We take them through identitymapping and so on, and then
we've got a program now calledthe Path to Proactive Leadership
(18:02):
, which is our group leadershipmastermind that we do ourself.
We do that open.
So we do that open.
So, like, either of you canjoin if you decided you wanted
to.
It's a six month, that minimumsix month commitment.
We walk you through all of ourmethodologies, over 24 steps, to
create proactive leaders.
And so people go, yeah, but,but what am I going to get out
of it?
You're going to discover whoyou are, what you believe, what
it is you really want and thenext steps to take it.
(18:24):
And if you think that you'regoing to do that in less than
six months, you just go back toYouTube and then call me back in
August and we can start to seeright.
So, like, just that's right,like I do the things you already
know to do.
Hey, that's not working, solet's do something specific.
And so we do that both forindividuals meaning anybody off
the street can sign up and jointhat with us and then we do that
(18:45):
privately as well, meaning wehave organizations that call us
and say, hey, can you do thepath to proactive leadership?
We've got 40 leaders we want totake through it and then we
host that weekly for them, justspecifically for that group.
And so those are really theways like I have found both.
If I could again, if I couldintersect, like what is the
market want?
But I'm only going to give themarket 50% of what it wants,
cause the other 50% is like if Idon't enjoy it, I don't want to
(19:06):
do it.
Like hey, we have, we have 30minutes, we'd love to have you.
I don't think, I'm sorry, Idon't want to come.
You know like well, there'sgoing to be a thousand people
there, great, if those 2000 willhave me for 30 minutes, they
are going to be so disappointed,like that's, this is a bad move
for all of us.
So I think for everybody and inany industry.
Maybe I get to be reallyfortunate because I've just
(19:28):
decided that like I'm just gonnamake some people mad and that's
okay, but I think really ofsqueezing and going like yeah, I
love speaking, I love workshops, like with teams, I love face
to face, we do it, we do plentyof virtual, don't get me wrong,
but like I love face to face.
And then I love taking peoplethrough like the methodologies,
because we start every keynotethe same.
If you leave today knowing moreabout me than you know about
(19:49):
you, then I failed.
You Like surely, surely youknowing about me is going to
change your life, like thatsounds like maybe, maybe your
boy should like take it down anotch If I think that what I'm
going to say to you and you knowme so well is going to change
your life, because you knowwho's not going home with you Me
, I'm going back to my house andI like it, but I'm not going to
(20:11):
think about you.
Tonight at dinner I'm going tothrow the baseball with my son,
so like feels like we shouldgive you some tools you can go
in and take it back yourself.
So that's sort of the way inwhich we I feel really fortunate
.
But we get to sort of go to goto market like that, to say you
have a keen owner experience orworkshop, we'd love to do it and
all the things that go alongwith having a really good
(20:31):
program.
Yes, or you, you really want totake a deep dive and you want
to spend an hour a week with me,every week for six months
minimum.
We can get into the deep end,like we can get in and really
get after it.
But you know what you'reexperiencing?
On the podcast.
It's.
It's just this for 60 minutesevery week, and we do do it for
24 weeks minimum and see how farwe could get.
Not because I'm going to tellyou where to go.
(20:52):
I have no idea what Courtneywants for her life, no idea what
Michelle wants.
It would be foolish for me tosay if you hire me for six
months I will take you to thisplace, because I have no idea
where that place is.
I think most of us need somehelp discovering that place to
begin with, and then we canthink about walking to where
we're going to get there.
(21:12):
So again, I know I have foundI've just sort of become more
open to it and trying to be morehonest is not the right word
but just more vocal about goinglike it's a little unorthodox,
it's not the typical thing, it'snot the typical keynote, it's
not the typical program, it'snot atypical because we want to
be different.
I just want to be honest and Ithink it's going to take a
(21:32):
little while you got to whereyou were over the last few
decades.
If you think I can unpack thatin three months or less and
change your life, I would ratheryou hire somebody else and go
be disappointed with them.
But if you want to be committedto you for six months, really
show up for yourself, and you'relooking for a guide to walk you
down that path?
Well then, I think maybe wemight just be able to figure out
how to get there.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So is it with you, or do you have a team, or is it?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
It is.
It is yeah.
So all of our one-to-onecoaching is with me, and then
our path to proactive leadershipis led by me.
I leave that every week,tuesdays at 10 AM is when that,
when that call is, and so I'mthe one that leads that.
We're about 30, this is just meall the time.
Uh, so you can imagine somepeople are like, hey, I can't be
friends with you, my guy,because you stress me out.
So, uh, this is just me always.
And so it's 30, 35 minutes aweek of like, let's get into it.
(22:17):
What's our step?
Let's learn about it, teachabout it, talk back and forth.
Here's your thing, here's whatwe're doing.
Leave you out, say okay, onthis step, go practice this this
week, come back and talk aboutit.
But it is me, I do all of ourone-on-one coaching, I do all of
our path to proactiveleadership and so on.
So we have a great team thathelps me.
Where I can just do this, I cantalk to you on podcasts, I can
(22:39):
do the things that I love,because here's the deal Don't
tell anybody, but I'm pretty.
Hey, we're in good shape.
If you need me to do anythingelse, it's not going to be great
.
So we have a great team that,like, makes everything great.
So when it's delivered to youit's actually usable, not just
Rocky talking because he thinkshe's good at something.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That's awesome.
You've gotten rid of the 80%that you're not good at and
focusing on your 20, right.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, that's true, and you know, let's be, let's
call it 65, 65, 35.
We're getting to the 80, 20,but we're closer than we used to
be.
Okay, we're closer, so, yes,the answer to that is yes.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Okay, before we sign off, this is putting you on the
spot.
But if you could give ourlisteners one pivotal thing to
challenge themselves, to reallydig into and reflect on, that
could push them to a step up intheir business, whether it's
production, whether it's being amother, like whatever it is in
(23:38):
their life like, if you couldgive them one thing to ponder or
one tool, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
yeah, so the, it will be easy and we may end up
giving them two, but we'll givethem one until you tell me I
have to be quiet we give themtwo, and if they walk away with
one, then that that's a win.
Okay, great, great.
So number one, as I would say,is get out a pen and paper and I
want you to write down what isevery story that you can think
of that has been told to youabout you, from the time that
you can remember.
I'm talking two years old to 42years old.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
What is this?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yep, yep.
What are the stories that havebeen told to you about you?
When you think about the thingsthat have been said to Courtney
or to Michelle, when you thinkthrough these things are like
you are so this, you are to this.
T O O, you are always this, youare never this.
How come you just, how come youcan't?
Why do you always?
You're just so?
Uh, make a list of all thosestories.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Okay, so so does that include what the stories you've
told yourself?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
those stories, Okay.
So, so does that include whatthe stories you've told yourself
?
So we'll get there.
So we start with.
We start with okay, Okay, Don'tjump the gun here.
Don't take all my don't take,don't take, don't take my
thunder yet Okay.
So we start with.
We start with the stories toldto us about us, because, number
one, those are the ones that wecannot control.
However, those are typicallythe ones that you know, for sake
of a metaphor, that haveimprinted in ink the greatest
(24:55):
impact on who we are.
So we start there, because,without our capacity, at least
from my perspective, you know wesound a scale of zero to 10.
Zeros, nothing.
10 is perfect.
If we're not willing to go backto negative three.
You ain't got nothing to writeLike.
You got it.
You got to go back and go wait.
Where did it come from, Right?
So if one of you would bewilling, cause we'll?
We'll show folks like what'sthe first thing that comes to
(25:15):
your mind when you think someone, you've been told you're to
that, you're to this, you'realways this, you're never this,
you're, so this, what's?
What's like the first thingthat pops into your head?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Hmm, hmm, wait one more time.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You're to this, you're so much to this, so this
always that you're too much ah,okay, okay, perfect too, direct.
So, yeah, okay, now here, here's.
Here's why we say we start withthis and what we're doing is
we're sort of doing step one ofthe confidence method, and
that's what we say, is what weuse to break down our imposter
syndrome.
Okay, typically, lack ofproduction, lack of sales, lack
(25:50):
of connections, lack ofnetworking, it is lack of belief
.
Right Cause we have a lot offolks who put in a lot of
activity.
They just mistake activity forprogress and they wonder how
come they're not getting wherethey want to go.
Well, it's because we havethese limiting beliefs.
We have these, we have.
We call it what you wantImposter syndrome, fear, doubt,
obstacle're like, for the loveof God, please call me back.
You know, like you can't haveboth and then be one and say you
(26:12):
don't have the other, so you'vebeen too much, you're too
intense, you're too direct.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I'm too intense.
Now, We've both been told that.
I would say Okay, great, great.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So what happens is is what that begins to put into
our mind.
Told to us about us always lendthemselves to us, landing on
the stories we tell ourselvesabout ourselves.
So in a moment where you watchsomeone's face, you can meet
them for the first time.
You go to have your firstclient meeting, you sit down to
have a date, you're talking toyour kid, you're talking to your
sister and we say something andwe watch their face because
story of my life.
And we watch them and they makethat face that says, oh my God,
not again.
(26:52):
Like, can you just calm down?
Like, why do you always have to?
They didn't say anything to us.
We read every part of it.
What happens is the stories toldto us about us, which is you're
too much and you're too direct,translates into a story we tell
ourself about ourself, which iscalm down, don't do it, they
don't like it, they don't wantit, it's not going to work for
you.
We would say that where thosetwo stories collide, we use the
word collision on purpose,because at any collision there's
(27:14):
an impact.
The impact of those two storiesfor most of us is feared out,
obstacle or insecurity.
Where those two stories collide.
It creates a narrative thatsays you're not who you think
you are, it's not valuable,people don't want it and you are
too much.
So you should calm down, andI'm not saying a hundred percent
of the time, but a high enoughpercentage that it's potentially
causing us to not get to wherewe want to go.
(27:36):
Occasionally, what we would sayis in that intersection Well, I
know I cannot change thestories told to me about me.
We're going to come back tothat in a second because,
typically, the stories told tous about us are a much greater
representation of thestoryteller than they are the
main character of the story.
Follow me, we'll come back tothat in a second, though, but I
(27:58):
can change the stories I tellmyself about myself.
Not in a cheesy way, not in aget in front of the mirror and I
am awesome and I am great.
I mean, if you want to do youraffirmations that way, knock
yourself out.
I'm not going to stop you, butI mean in a way that's very
practical, very real, notoptimist, not pessimist, just
very realist.
If you talk to yourself I meanif you talk to your best friend,
the way that you talk toyourself most of us would have
(28:19):
no friends if we said to thepeople we love most if you have
kids, if you're in arelationship?
I have a nine-year-old and asix-year-old.
If I were to talk to mynine-year-old my oldest is a boy
the way in which I talk to mesometimes I would be so
embarrassed.
Good point.
But, we daily walk around andtalk to ourself and wonder why
(28:44):
we're not accomplishing,achieving, caring, loving.
Look in the mirror and lovewhat we see or feel or what
that's driven, because the onlyperson talking to you is you.
But where did it come from?
Well, it came because that'sthe stories we're telling
ourself about ourself.
So what we would say is wherewe intersect those, we have to
peel those apart to thendiscover well, let's just, let's
(29:05):
not, let's just create space.
Not good, not bad, not positive,what's true, what's true?
What's true is I'm I.
I've only known you guys nowfor a total of maybe call it 27
minutes, okay, but I can tellyou this.
I can tell you what's true.
You're both direct, you areboth assertive, you both have
(29:26):
deep conviction about what youbelieve.
You are not afraid to saysomething that needs to be said.
You have already licked yourwounds from those before you
that said it's not good enough,and you made a decision at this
point in your life, you're goingto just do you, no matter what.
Now, the beautiful part aboutthat is is like that comes to a
place where we can say we justdid.
Is we named a confirmation?
We just simply said what wastrue.
Now, most of us struggle evento get there because that can
(29:49):
feel so overwhelming to saythere's something true about me,
even though that's what we'reall longing for, right, If we
can and we're talking final stephere I know you told me for one
step, but we didn't want tojust walk through the whole
process the final step is if wecan then go from confirmation,
which is true, into affirmation,which is good.
We take a story that was toldto us about us.
(30:11):
There was a greaterrepresentation of the
storyteller than it was the maincharacter of the story and we
craft that into a narrative suchthat not only is it true,
courtney, michelle, you areintense, but we don't put a
period at the end.
We simply put a comma so thatwe can translate it from a
confirmation to an affirmation,and we end that statement with
(30:31):
and you are good.
Confidence is simply the beliefthat something is good.
Where you lack confidence iswhere you lack the capacity to
see what is good.
So for us, we would say onething I can encourage you to do
full circle get what is good.
So for us, we would say onething I can encourage you to do
full circle get out a pen and apaper, write down the stories
that are told to you about you.
Where did they come from, butwhat is true?
And then, if you can allowyourself, we'll go back to this
(30:54):
one and I'll wrap it up here forus, where someone has said
you're too much, you're toointense.
Let me, um Rocky, translate itfor you Not quite as good as
Google, but pretty good.
Anyone who's ever said you'retoo intense.
What they said was calm down,like, take it easy, it's not
that big of a deal.
Like, just let it go, itdoesn't matter.
Let me translate for you whatthey were trying to say.
(31:19):
Courtney, michelle, I used tohave drive like you.
I used to feel like I couldexert myself and be confident
what I was saying.
But again and again in my lifeI experienced pain.
I was hurt every time that Itried to be who I thought I
could be, and I love you a lotand I don't want you to get hurt
, but I don't know how to tellyou that.
(31:40):
So, instead of saying hey, calmdown or you're too much, I'm
trying to just say that I loveyou and I want you to be aware
that you being you, noteveryone's gonna like, but most
people are going to love, butthey don't have the words for
that, and so we hold ourselvesto an expectation that is
(32:00):
unrealistic to the capacity ofthe person that's communicating
it, because they lack the words.
And then we live the majority ofour life based on somebody
else's story of who we are, andthat's not intended to be woo,
woo.
It's not intended to be like,oh, let's get deep.
I'm talking just very realistic, practical ways on a daily
basis to say how do I change theway that I see myself, the way
(32:21):
that I talk to myself?
And I promise, I promise it'llchange the way that I see myself
, the way that I talk to myself,and I promise, I promise it'll
change the way that you show upon a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Okay, that's a wrap.
So good, so start with gettinga pen and paper out.
Yes, and that's right.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Get to work.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Challenge yourself.
Write in the stories that weretold to you about you.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
That's right, hey, that's right.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Where can our people find you, Rocky?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, you know, like I mentioned before, hey, check
out these brows.
Maybe you can get them anywhereon the web that you want to.
So you can get them onInstagram, LinkedIn, Facebook,
TikTok, RockyGardscom on everyplatform, it's just RockyGards.
Probably the best way toconnect is either connecting me
over on LinkedIn and or over onInstagram, where those are the
two places we are the most.
And if you're interested in youwant to take a step for
yourself or what we just walkedthrough the confidence method,
(33:07):
we have that delivered to youfree as an ebook for you to walk
through the whole process onyour own.
You can get that at rockygarzacom slash confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Okay, Courtney, you got to like tell our listeners.
Thank you, by the way, Rocky.
We talked about this tellinglisteners about what they need
to do too.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
They need to watch this episode on YouTube at the
Now Podcast for Real.
So make sure you check it outand you subscribe to our channel
and we'll make sure we put thelink to all of Rocky's stuff on
there so you can get on thereand get your free e-book.
So Now Podcast for Real onYouTube Subscribe and review
this episode.
Do some reviews.
If you comment on there, we'llmake sure to respond.
(33:51):
We'll make sure Rocky canrespond.
This was a great episode.
Thank you, Rocky.
52 weeks, one year 52 weeks.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Well done, well done.
I so appreciate you all.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Thanks, rocky, have a good one.
And most of our listeners are real estate agents
, entrepreneurs, ooh, what's inthe drink, like I mean, what's
the tea drink?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, it's Noon.
Electrolytes.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh nice, I said mom liked it.
And the third cup of coffeethat I just finished.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay, Welcome back to the Now Podcast Making Moves in
Real Estate.
Today we're celebrating a hugemilestone.
Courtney, tell our listenerswhat's today?
Our one-year anniversaryepisode?
Yes, so to mark this specialoccasion, we have an
extraordinary guest named RockyGarza.
Rocky is a transformativekeynote speaker, trusted advisor
(00:57):
to eight-figure CEOs, anaccomplished leadership coach.
For over a decade, he's beenempowering individuals and teams
to break through limits,rediscover their core and lead
with authenticity.
With a communications degreefrom Texas A&M we love Texas
Rocky has worked with powerhousecompanies like Zillow,
(01:21):
Microsoft, Blue Cross, BlueShield, guiding leaders to align
their strengths with values,with their values, and lead with
bold confidence.
So in this episode today,Rocky's going to dive into how
vulnerability and authenticityaren't just buzzwords.
They're game changers.
He's going to share powerfulinsights and tools to help you
(01:41):
step into your true self andcreate lasting impact, whether
in business or life.
So, whether you're here tolevel up your leadership,
business or mindset, you don'twant to miss this episode.
No pressure, Rocky.
I like bringing the heat, butwelcome.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, thank you, thank you.
I so appreciate the chance tobe here with you and if you're
listening to be with you and hey, it's, it's never 52.
So if there was ever a day tobring the heat, today's that day
.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Today is the day we cannot wait to hear more about
you and your story and get someinsight for our listeners.
I've been listening to yourpodcast to get in some.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, so tell our listeners who you are.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, so, uh, my name is Rocky.
Um, I don't have hair and Ihave big eyebrows, so, whether
the glasses or not, I'm easy tofind.
Check me out there on the webs.
Um, I think for me the mostimportant or valuable thing is,
um, I have been married to mywonderful wife.
It'll be 16 years this year.
I have two incredible kids, um,a nine-year-old and a
six-year-old nine-year-old boy,six-year-old girl.
(02:47):
They are awesome and if there'sever anything in life to teach
you something, it is a child ofyour own to reflect back to you
everything you think no one cansee.
They will, in fact, show youthat they can see everything
that you don't think you likeabout you.
So that's neither here northere, but I think that's a
significant part, and I say thatbecause, yes, I'm a speaker and
(03:08):
a coach and so on.
That's just how I have beenextremely fortunate to sort of
take my life experience, whatI've seen.
I think I'm somebody that, eventhough it's not always great
for business, I'm I don't knowthat I'm an expert in much, but
I do have a lot of experience.
And so I think, and as I lookat life, as I look at where
we're going, how do you supportsomeone.
How do you sort of create theenvironment to allow someone to
(03:29):
see or be seen?
They're interested in thethings that you have either
experienced or you are currentlyexperiencing.
Rarely is anyone ever impressedby your expertise, unless you
just happen to be like thesingular expert.
Then for sure we're listening,but if we're all honest with
ourselves, that's probably notmost of us.
So, therefore, how do we takeour experiences and really allow
that to be the guide to go?
(03:50):
We're just looking to connectwith each other.
We want to be seen, we want tobe known, we want to believe
there's something unique aboutus, it's valuable, and we just
hope anybody else in the worldwill go hey, you know what,
courtney, I I see that in you,you know, michelle, like there's
something about like, if we canget to that moment, typically,
whatever goal we want to achievepersonally and professionally
in our business as anentrepreneur and corporate, it
doesn't matter where we are.
That's the thing that we'relooking for, right?
(04:11):
I know in the industry that youall are in, uh, there's been
plenty of memes out there thatI'm sure, as a real estate agent
, that we have found readingabout ourselves to go like you
know what?
What do we need them for?
It's just a piece of paper,it's just a.
You know I can.
I can negotiate myself.
I can't whatever all the thingspeople want to say that they
don't, they don't think thatit's valuable or usable to go
away.
Now we're looking for a humanbeing to connect with, because
(04:33):
many of us are making the singlegreatest largest decision I've
ever made in our entire life.
I trust that you can do yourjob, because that's what I'm
hoping that you're here for isyou're capable.
I'm looking to find somebodythat I could deeply connect with
.
So when it gets really hairy atthe end and I'm unsure and I
sort of have panic and I'm not,I don't know, and the inspection
isn't the way that I thoughtand I I'm not.
(04:54):
I'm not expecting you to be aninspection expert.
I'm hoping you to have the kindof experience that you have
seen someone like me feel likeme.
One, I don't feel alone and two, I feel like you're somebody
that I can trust, and so I thinkin my job.
My job is to help individuals,team leaders, executives,
business owners.
How do we see and discover that?
And what we would say is how dowe marry our personal
(05:16):
conviction with our professionalambition.
How do we find the intersectionof a deeply meaningful life and
a wildly successful career?
And I think every human beinghas that intersection.
I think, typically, though, weget on social and we chase that
intersection that somebody elsegot, that we think will make us
happy.
We build our house on thatstreet, no pun intended, and
then we wonder why we'redissatisfied.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Wow.
So, and I would assume some ofthat ties into your philosophy
of needing to be open to beingvulnerable and being authentic
in order to find bridge that gap.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
You know, I think I want tosteal a little bit of this.
It's it's sort of like a halfRocky, half Brene Brown
definition.
So I came from as her sort ofshe's maybe my spirit guide here
, and then sort of take my ownthing, like if we could, if we
could, if we could for today,say we're going to have a
working definition ofvulnerability, which is defined
as creating the opportunity tosee and be seen by others.
(06:08):
Then I think that sort of thegateway, like that juncture
there, that's where all the goodwork happens, like not putting
all your ish on the table foreveryone to see, not showing
your deepest, darkest secrets toevery person we meet, so we
hope that they like us, but thatdoesn't build connection for
most of us.
Every person we meet, so wehope that they like us, and
that's not.
That doesn't build connectionfor most of us.
However, creating theopportunity to see and be seen
means I have to show up and say,if I'm going to put on a mask
(06:30):
at some point it's going to falloff.
So I might as well show up andbe me.
And then what's the environmentthat I'm creating, opportunity
I'm creating for Courtney andMichelle to both say like we
also just want to show up and beus too.
But when we create that space,vulnerability exists because
there's no pretense where I feellike I have to be something in
order for it to be seen.
I have to be something in orderfor someone to approve of me.
I have to be something forsomeone we get crazy here.
(06:52):
I have to be something forsomeone to love me.
That's typically relationships.
Pick a category you want toStruggle when one or both
parties tend to not allowthemselves to be seen and the
default of that is that I can nolonger see you.
And then we wake up the nextamount of time and realize it's
not where we thought it would be.
(07:12):
I would say, if we find a wayto get back to the root of
vulnerability, we could do a lotof good work.
Now I'll be very clear.
I'm not a therapist, I'm not acounselor.
Don't take my advice I butsometimes I counsel or don't
take my advice.
I'm just saying from mypersonal experience I think I
think there's a lot to that Um,and so I think it's sort of sort
(07:32):
of my job and I think scrapthat to go like my own personal
conviction, like I spent mywhole life.
I spend my whole life wantingto be seen.
I want to be known.
I want to be loved.
I want to feel like I'mcreating value.
I I went to 13 schools before Igraduated high school.
My parents got divorced when Iwas young.
My mom's been married four orfive times.
I didn't realize the first dayof school meant like the first
day of school until I was inseventh grade.
(07:53):
Like I thought first day ofschool meant like the first day
out of school because it hadalways been my first day out of
school, right.
So like and I don't say likenot to be sad like I'm 41, been
to a lot of therapy, I'm feelingokay, all right.
So it's not like a sad story,it's just a story.
But I get all of that.
I think, if we sort of take ourstep back, regardless of our
profession, how we perform atwork is a direct reflection of
(08:14):
how we perform as a human.
We like to go and go get myskillset right for my job so
that I could do it better.
I really, though.
If you're struggling, it'sprobably due to lack of
connection.
Lack of connection is probablydue to lack of conversation.
(08:35):
Lack of conversation isprobably due to lack of
curiosity.
Lack of curiosity is probablydue because we're kind of afraid
that someone's going to ask usa question and we're going to
have to answer it and we don'tcurrently like the answer.
So we tend to not ask questionsand then we tend to not have
leads and then we tend to nothave closings.
So it's all for me, pick anindustry.
(08:56):
It's all woven and tiedtogether.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah.
So I want to know.
I have like all kinds ofquestions.
I mean you touched on a littlebit of your vulnerability, on
your background, but like howlong have you been doing this?
What got you into it?
You know, obviously you justtouched on that, you don't have
a psychology degree or whatever,but you obviously have some
experience.
But what, what got you intothis coaching role?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, yeah.
So I, um, I graduated collegeand I went to a place uh out in
in East Texas called sky ranch.
It's a summer camp for kids.
Um, I went there as a counselorwhile I was in college In 2004,
.
I was a counselor there thenext summer.
I graduated in 05, I got askedto come back and be full-time
staff and so I was like out ofcollege, no resume, guaranteed
(09:41):
job at a fun camp, $24,000 ayear, sign me up.
So I opted to go do that as myfirst job right out of college.
But it was an incredibleexperience, learned a ton.
I was, I was 21, uh, and wentfrom my college to then like,
being tasked hey, this summeryou have 150 college kids you're
in charge of and 3000 kidsstudents.
Good luck out there, we'll see,and we see it.
So, like, maybe not a greatthing for the camp, uh, but it
(10:02):
was awesome for me.
So that was sort of like myintro into wait, I care about
people.
I'm I'm kind of good atbuilding connections with people
.
Now, at the time, I thought Iwas fantastic at it.
Come to realize I was very goodat disclosure and very bad at
vulnerability, but we'll comeback to that in a second.
But I realized I was good atdisclosure.
I was good at buildingshort-term kind of quick hit
connection, and that seemed tosuffice to be pretty good at 21,
(10:25):
22 at a camp and a lot ofresponsibility.
If you can connect with people,you can do a good job.
So that was my first gig.
I did that for about four years.
I actually left there, came backto Dallas in 2008.
And I joined the pastoral staffat a church here in Dallas.
So I was actually a pastor fora while.
Technically, the camp I was atit was a faith-based camp as
well, so I was actually a pastoron pastoral staff, if you will,
vocationally my first career.
(10:46):
And then my transferred overand was a pastor to church.
I did that for about three anda half years or so, realized
during that time that I was anasshole and that I cared way
more about you liking me than Icared about teaching you about
God.
And again, did I have that levelof clarity?
Then?
I was 26 and had a faux hawkand one tattoo.
No, we know that's not the case.
(11:07):
That really wasn't the amountof clarity I had.
However, I had enough clarityto know this is going to be a
bad idea.
Because about three and a halfyears in, I got offered a
teaching pastor job.
Big church, a few thousandpeople hey, we're going to.
We'd love to come withtransition, be a teaching pastor
and if you'll just preach 26weekends a year, that's what we
want your job to be.
So at the time, like podcastinghad just just come out right.
This was 2009,.
2010, in 2010, which you knowRIP that podcast.
(11:30):
I wish I'd have kept that.
We'd be a lot better off now.
But we know we had a podcastthen, but no one will listen.
The six people who knew how toget to it could listen to it.
But then it realized like Ijust don't think this is it.
And so it was kind of this likeweird juncture of like I love my
belief, I love my faith, I lovewhat I've done, I just because
it makes perfect sense my wifeand I started a photography
business and that was more likemy wife had quit her job.
(11:56):
We had been doing photographyas a hobby, we had just gotten
married.
We had been married about ayear, no kids, no debt.
We lived in an apartment.
We're like let's just see whathappens.
She didn't like her job and Iwas ready to do something else,
and so that's kind of, if youwant to look at, like, what is
the last 16 years of marriagebeen like, take that as a
snapshot.
That's kind of how we roll.
So, like you know what, forgetit.
We don't know anything aboutsmall businesses.
We should start our own.
(12:17):
And so we started photographybusiness back in 2010.
We actually were full-timewedding photographers for about
five and a half years and shotabout 40 weddings a year.
It was really fun.
We got really lucky.
If we're being really honest,like Pinterest was invented
while we were photographers,instagram was invented while we
were photographers.
Personal branding became athing.
So, like we got very, verylucky in our own being naive
(12:37):
that we're like you know wecould do.
We could call it Sarah andRocky photography and then we'll
do what we want, you know.
And the market was like, ah,personal branding unbelievable.
We love you.
So like, not not on purpose,just got really lucky.
But for me, that sort of kind ofcreated this convergence of
like if I could take my lifeexperience, which is like it's
fairly unorthodox, and like, forthe love of mercy, someone
(12:58):
please love me.
My years of ministry at thatpoint were like I deeply care
for people and now sort of five,six, seven years of
entrepreneurship to go.
If I could squeeze all thistogether, if I could create what
we today say is theintersection of a deeply
meaningful life and a wildlysuccessful career, then we would
just say help people.
If we could help people and doanything, if I could converge
(13:18):
all those areas of life, if Icould become an expert at
anything, I would hope that Icould walk towards becoming a
people expert.
How can I help people find away to be seen, to be known, and
what we would say now is tolead well.
And really the last decade hasbeen sort of this big, huge
experiment.
I mean, if we're all, if we'rewilling to be honest with each
other.
Like I didn't wake up 10 yearsago, I was like this is where
(13:40):
I'll be in 10 years.
Like you couldn't haveconvinced me that was going to
be the case and like I think apart of that is is because
probably the mostly luck and atouch of consistency of like
just be good at what you're goodat.
Like you're not, you're not asales expert, you're.
You're not, you're not asystems expert for sure.
Um, but you can find a way tosay can you create environments
(14:06):
to allow people to sort ofreflect back?
And if we use sort of likeaggressive language, like, if I
can find a way at work, I thinkwhen people go to work, I think
there's a small window to theirsoul that gets left open that we
don't close all the way becausewe're at work.
No one's going to try to get inthere.
I kind of feel like it's my jobin the kindest way, uncreepy
way possible.
It's like how do I find my wayto that window?
(14:38):
How do we slide it open alittle bit and go, hey, we're
already here, we already foundit.
We might as well do a littlebit of reflecting to go who are
you?
What do you want, like actuallywant not, not, not.
What do you want anything inthe world?
Because the reality is youdon't really want that.
What do you actually want?
And then what's like a singlestep you can take tomorrow.
That's going to begin to walkyou in the direction of the
things you really want.
And I think over the course ofthe last decade that's led to
things like identity mapping,which is a process we have to
help people give clarity of whothey are the confidence method
which helps us really unpack theimposter syndrome, and where
(15:01):
does that come from?
And how do we even deal withthat Influence appraisal for
leaderships and teams?
And we can go on and on and onand on.
And the reality is is like each, each of those individual
things, most people don't careabout.
What they do care about issaying do you see me, do you
know me, and do you believe thatI can do something significant
in this world?
And if the answer to all thoseis yes, and I think a decade
later I can with deep convictionsay 100%, I believe that to be
(15:22):
true Well then, how do we helpguide individuals to that place?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And how do we create a chance for every person to say
there is something significantabout me?
And if I could find just theright word, maybe, maybe, then I
could take the next step.
Hmm, wow, okay, so that'sreally cool.
So you're working with, likecorporations, individuals, all
different kinds of industries,like you name it.
You got somebody out.
Yeah, with what?
Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So yeah, so we, we would say that, um, you know, we
, we're sort of even though it'snot, not sexy, right Like we're
sort of like industry agnostic.
Like you're in healthcare bootcost of your shield, let's go
Zillow software.
I got you EXP.
Realty say, let you know, likegreat, I'm glad that you love
your industry.
That's your job You're supposedto.
My job is not to be an expert inyour industry.
(16:16):
You should talk to your boss,like that's probably the person
you should go to.
You probably should come toRocky.
However, if you could find theplace where, like you as a human
being, take everything elseaway converges or sort of
intersects with my professionalambition, like I'm going to get
it have these goals reallyconnects with, like my personal
conviction, right Of like mylife, my family, my
(16:37):
relationships, If we could liketake all those things and like
squeeze those into one singleconnection point.
My job is to not only createthe environment, but to guide us
to that point as often as wepossibly can and then provide
the tools and resources that wecan exude and sort of find the
clarity that then leads to thecatalyst to create the life that
we want.
And so that's keynotes.
We do that through speakingAgain.
(16:57):
I'm not your typical 45 minuteroll in, roll out.
I have a good message, a goodstory to help you feel better.
You can get that on YouTube.
You shouldn't hire me Likeyou're going to be disappointed
because I'm immediately going tobe like yo, I need 90 minutes
minimum.
I'd prefer four hours.
You know, and the typicalconference is like that that we
have 26 speakers.
If we get across the stagetoday, I'm like, hey, guess what
?
I'm probably not a good personfor your conversation because
(17:19):
people are going to hate me.
Or if you want to rattle somecages and you really want people
to do the work, maybe, maybe wecould try something new.
So in our keynote space likeagain, we're not, we're not
doing 30 minute pop in, pop out,I just I think there's some
people that are great at that.
I personally don't have anydesire to do that because I
think you can go get that onYouTube Like I don't think you
(17:40):
need me to come to your event todo that for you.
We do that through no-transcriptand then we create a plan for
where you want to be.
We take them through identitymapping and so on, and then
we've got a program now calledthe Path to Proactive Leadership
(18:02):
, which is our group leadershipmastermind that we do ourself.
We do that open.
So we do that open.
So, like, either of you canjoin if you decided you wanted
to.
It's a six month, that minimumsix month commitment.
We walk you through all of ourmethodologies, over 24 steps, to
create proactive leaders.
And so people go, yeah, but,but what am I going to get out
of it?
You're going to discover whoyou are, what you believe, what
it is you really want and thenext steps to take it.
(18:24):
And if you think that you'regoing to do that in less than
six months, you just go back toYouTube and then call me back in
August and we can start to seeright.
So, like, just that's right,like I do the things you already
know to do.
Hey, that's not working, solet's do something specific.
And so we do that both forindividuals meaning anybody off
the street can sign up and jointhat with us and then we do that
(18:45):
privately as well, meaning wehave organizations that call us
and say, hey, can you do thepath to proactive leadership?
We've got 40 leaders we want totake through it and then we
host that weekly for them, justspecifically for that group.
And so those are really theways like I have found both.
If I could again, if I couldintersect, like what is the
market want?
But I'm only going to give themarket 50% of what it wants,
cause the other 50% is like if Idon't enjoy it, I don't want to
(19:06):
do it.
Like hey, we have, we have 30minutes, we'd love to have you.
I don't think, I'm sorry, Idon't want to come.
You know like well, there'sgoing to be a thousand people
there, great, if those 2000 willhave me for 30 minutes, they
are going to be so disappointed,like that's, this is a bad move
for all of us.
So I think for everybody and inany industry.
Maybe I get to be reallyfortunate because I've just
(19:28):
decided that like I'm just gonnamake some people mad and that's
okay, but I think really ofsqueezing and going like yeah, I
love speaking, I love workshops, like with teams, I love face
to face, we do it, we do plentyof virtual, don't get me wrong,
but like I love face to face.
And then I love taking peoplethrough like the methodologies,
because we start every keynotethe same.
If you leave today knowing moreabout me than you know about
(19:49):
you, then I failed.
You Like surely, surely youknowing about me is going to
change your life, like thatsounds like maybe, maybe your
boy should like take it down anotch If I think that what I'm
going to say to you and you knowme so well is going to change
your life, because you knowwho's not going home with you Me
, I'm going back to my house andI like it, but I'm not going to
(20:11):
think about you.
Tonight at dinner I'm going tothrow the baseball with my son,
so like feels like we shouldgive you some tools you can go
in and take it back yourself.
So that's sort of the way inwhich we I feel really fortunate
.
But we get to sort of go to goto market like that, to say you
have a keen owner experience orworkshop, we'd love to do it and
all the things that go alongwith having a really good
(20:31):
program.
Yes, or you, you really want totake a deep dive and you want
to spend an hour a week with me,every week for six months
minimum.
We can get into the deep end,like we can get in and really
get after it.
But you know what you'reexperiencing?
On the podcast.
It's.
It's just this for 60 minutesevery week, and we do do it for
24 weeks minimum and see how farwe could get.
Not because I'm going to tellyou where to go.
(20:52):
I have no idea what Courtneywants for her life, no idea what
Michelle wants.
It would be foolish for me tosay if you hire me for six
months I will take you to thisplace, because I have no idea
where that place is.
I think most of us need somehelp discovering that place to
begin with, and then we canthink about walking to where
we're going to get there.
(21:12):
So again, I know I have foundI've just sort of become more
open to it and trying to be morehonest is not the right word
but just more vocal about goinglike it's a little unorthodox,
it's not the typical thing, it'snot the typical keynote, it's
not the typical program, it'snot atypical because we want to
be different.
I just want to be honest and Ithink it's going to take a
(21:32):
little while you got to whereyou were over the last few
decades.
If you think I can unpack thatin three months or less and
change your life, I would ratheryou hire somebody else and go
be disappointed with them.
But if you want to be committedto you for six months, really
show up for yourself, and you'relooking for a guide to walk you
down that path?
Well then, I think maybe wemight just be able to figure out
how to get there.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So is it with you, or do you have a team, or is it?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
It is.
It is yeah.
So all of our one-to-onecoaching is with me, and then
our path to proactive leadershipis led by me.
I leave that every week,tuesdays at 10 AM is when that,
when that call is, and so I'mthe one that leads that.
We're about 30, this is just meall the time.
Uh, so you can imagine somepeople are like, hey, I can't be
friends with you, my guy,because you stress me out.
So, uh, this is just me always.
And so it's 30, 35 minutes aweek of like, let's get into it.
(22:17):
What's our step?
Let's learn about it, teachabout it, talk back and forth.
Here's your thing, here's whatwe're doing.
Leave you out, say okay, onthis step, go practice this this
week, come back and talk aboutit.
But it is me, I do all of ourone-on-one coaching, I do all of
our path to proactiveleadership and so on.
So we have a great team thathelps me.
Where I can just do this, I cantalk to you on podcasts, I can
(22:39):
do the things that I love,because here's the deal Don't
tell anybody, but I'm pretty.
Hey, we're in good shape.
If you need me to do anythingelse, it's not going to be great
.
So we have a great team that,like, makes everything great.
So when it's delivered to youit's actually usable, not just
Rocky talking because he thinkshe's good at something.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That's awesome.
You've gotten rid of the 80%that you're not good at and
focusing on your 20, right.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, that's true, and you know, let's be, let's
call it 65, 65, 35.
We're getting to the 80, 20,but we're closer than we used to
be.
Okay, we're closer, so, yes,the answer to that is yes.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Okay, before we sign off, this is putting you on the
spot.
But if you could give ourlisteners one pivotal thing to
challenge themselves, to reallydig into and reflect on, that
could push them to a step up intheir business, whether it's
production, whether it's being amother, like whatever it is in
(23:38):
their life like, if you couldgive them one thing to ponder or
one tool, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
yeah, so the, it will be easy and we may end up
giving them two, but we'll givethem one until you tell me I
have to be quiet we give themtwo, and if they walk away with
one, then that that's a win.
Okay, great, great.
So number one, as I would say,is get out a pen and paper and I
want you to write down what isevery story that you can think
of that has been told to youabout you, from the time that
you can remember.
I'm talking two years old to 42years old.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
What is this?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yep, yep.
What are the stories that havebeen told to you about you?
When you think about the thingsthat have been said to Courtney
or to Michelle, when you thinkthrough these things are like
you are so this, you are to this.
T O O, you are always this, youare never this.
How come you just, how come youcan't?
Why do you always?
You're just so?
Uh, make a list of all thosestories.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Okay, so so does that include what the stories you've
told yourself?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
those stories, Okay.
So, so does that include whatthe stories you've told yourself
?
So we'll get there.
So we start with.
We start with okay, Okay, Don'tjump the gun here.
Don't take all my don't take,don't take, don't take my
thunder yet Okay.
So we start with.
We start with the stories toldto us about us, because, number
one, those are the ones that wecannot control.
However, those are typicallythe ones that you know, for sake
of a metaphor, that haveimprinted in ink the greatest
(24:55):
impact on who we are.
So we start there, because,without our capacity, at least
from my perspective, you know wesound a scale of zero to 10.
Zeros, nothing.
10 is perfect.
If we're not willing to go backto negative three.
You ain't got nothing to writeLike.
You got it.
You got to go back and go wait.
Where did it come from, Right?
So if one of you would bewilling, cause we'll?
We'll show folks like what'sthe first thing that comes to
(25:15):
your mind when you think someone, you've been told you're to
that, you're to this, you'realways this, you're never this,
you're, so this, what's?
What's like the first thingthat pops into your head?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Hmm, hmm, wait one more time.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You're to this, you're so much to this, so this
always that you're too much ah,okay, okay, perfect too, direct.
So, yeah, okay, now here, here's.
Here's why we say we start withthis and what we're doing is
we're sort of doing step one ofthe confidence method, and
that's what we say, is what weuse to break down our imposter
syndrome.
Okay, typically, lack ofproduction, lack of sales, lack
(25:50):
of connections, lack ofnetworking, it is lack of belief
.
Right Cause we have a lot offolks who put in a lot of
activity.
They just mistake activity forprogress and they wonder how
come they're not getting wherethey want to go.
Well, it's because we havethese limiting beliefs.
We have these, we have.
We call it what you wantImposter syndrome, fear, doubt,
obstacle're like, for the loveof God, please call me back.
You know, like you can't haveboth and then be one and say you
(26:12):
don't have the other, so you'vebeen too much, you're too
intense, you're too direct.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I'm too intense.
Now, We've both been told that.
I would say Okay, great, great.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So what happens is is what that begins to put into
our mind.
Told to us about us always lendthemselves to us, landing on
the stories we tell ourselvesabout ourselves.
So in a moment where you watchsomeone's face, you can meet
them for the first time.
You go to have your firstclient meeting, you sit down to
have a date, you're talking toyour kid, you're talking to your
sister and we say something andwe watch their face because
story of my life.
And we watch them and they makethat face that says, oh my God,
not again.
(26:52):
Like, can you just calm down?
Like, why do you always have to?
They didn't say anything to us.
We read every part of it.
What happens is the stories toldto us about us, which is you're
too much and you're too direct,translates into a story we tell
ourself about ourself, which iscalm down, don't do it, they
don't like it, they don't wantit, it's not going to work for
you.
We would say that where thosetwo stories collide, we use the
word collision on purpose,because at any collision there's
(27:14):
an impact.
The impact of those two storiesfor most of us is feared out,
obstacle or insecurity.
Where those two stories collide.
It creates a narrative thatsays you're not who you think
you are, it's not valuable,people don't want it and you are
too much.
So you should calm down, andI'm not saying a hundred percent
of the time, but a high enoughpercentage that it's potentially
causing us to not get to wherewe want to go.
(27:36):
Occasionally, what we would sayis in that intersection Well, I
know I cannot change thestories told to me about me.
We're going to come back tothat in a second because,
typically, the stories told tous about us are a much greater
representation of thestoryteller than they are the
main character of the story.
Follow me, we'll come back tothat in a second, though, but I
(27:58):
can change the stories I tellmyself about myself.
Not in a cheesy way, not in aget in front of the mirror and I
am awesome and I am great.
I mean, if you want to do youraffirmations that way, knock
yourself out.
I'm not going to stop you, butI mean in a way that's very
practical, very real, notoptimist, not pessimist, just
very realist.
If you talk to yourself I meanif you talk to your best friend,
the way that you talk toyourself most of us would have
(28:19):
no friends if we said to thepeople we love most if you have
kids, if you're in arelationship?
I have a nine-year-old and asix-year-old.
If I were to talk to mynine-year-old my oldest is a boy
the way in which I talk to mesometimes I would be so
embarrassed.
Good point.
But, we daily walk around andtalk to ourself and wonder why
(28:44):
we're not accomplishing,achieving, caring, loving.
Look in the mirror and lovewhat we see or feel or what
that's driven, because the onlyperson talking to you is you.
But where did it come from?
Well, it came because that'sthe stories we're telling
ourself about ourself.
So what we would say is wherewe intersect those, we have to
peel those apart to thendiscover well, let's just, let's
(29:05):
not, let's just create space.
Not good, not bad, not positive,what's true, what's true?
What's true is I'm I.
I've only known you guys nowfor a total of maybe call it 27
minutes, okay, but I can tellyou this.
I can tell you what's true.
You're both direct, you areboth assertive, you both have
(29:26):
deep conviction about what youbelieve.
You are not afraid to saysomething that needs to be said.
You have already licked yourwounds from those before you
that said it's not good enough,and you made a decision at this
point in your life, you're goingto just do you, no matter what.
Now, the beautiful part aboutthat is is like that comes to a
place where we can say we justdid.
Is we named a confirmation?
We just simply said what wastrue.
Now, most of us struggle evento get there because that can
(29:49):
feel so overwhelming to saythere's something true about me,
even though that's what we'reall longing for, right, If we
can and we're talking final stephere I know you told me for one
step, but we didn't want tojust walk through the whole
process the final step is if wecan then go from confirmation,
which is true, into affirmation,which is good.
We take a story that was toldto us about us.
(30:11):
There was a greaterrepresentation of the
storyteller than it was the maincharacter of the story and we
craft that into a narrative suchthat not only is it true,
courtney, michelle, you areintense, but we don't put a
period at the end.
We simply put a comma so thatwe can translate it from a
confirmation to an affirmation,and we end that statement with
(30:31):
and you are good.
Confidence is simply the beliefthat something is good.
Where you lack confidence iswhere you lack the capacity to
see what is good.
So for us, we would say onething I can encourage you to do
full circle get what is good.
So for us, we would say onething I can encourage you to do
full circle get out a pen and apaper, write down the stories
that are told to you about you.
Where did they come from, butwhat is true?
And then, if you can allowyourself, we'll go back to this
(30:54):
one and I'll wrap it up here forus, where someone has said
you're too much, you're toointense.
Let me, um Rocky, translate itfor you Not quite as good as
Google, but pretty good.
Anyone who's ever said you'retoo intense.
What they said was calm down,like, take it easy, it's not
that big of a deal.
Like, just let it go, itdoesn't matter.
Let me translate for you whatthey were trying to say.
(31:19):
Courtney, michelle, I used tohave drive like you.
I used to feel like I couldexert myself and be confident
what I was saying.
But again and again in my lifeI experienced pain.
I was hurt every time that Itried to be who I thought I
could be, and I love you a lotand I don't want you to get hurt
, but I don't know how to tellyou that.
(31:40):
So, instead of saying hey, calmdown or you're too much, I'm
trying to just say that I loveyou and I want you to be aware
that you being you, noteveryone's gonna like, but most
people are going to love, butthey don't have the words for
that, and so we hold ourselvesto an expectation that is
(32:00):
unrealistic to the capacity ofthe person that's communicating
it, because they lack the words.
And then we live the majority ofour life based on somebody
else's story of who we are, andthat's not intended to be woo,
woo.
It's not intended to be like,oh, let's get deep.
I'm talking just very realistic, practical ways on a daily
basis to say how do I change theway that I see myself, the way
(32:21):
that I talk to myself?
And I promise, I promise it'llchange the way that I see myself
, the way that I talk to myself,and I promise, I promise it'll
change the way that you show upon a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Okay, that's a wrap.
So good, so start with gettinga pen and paper out.
Yes, and that's right.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Get to work.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Challenge yourself.
Write in the stories that weretold to you about you.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
That's right, hey, that's right.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Where can our people find you, Rocky?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, you know, like I mentioned before, hey, check
out these brows.
Maybe you can get them anywhereon the web that you want to.
So you can get them onInstagram, LinkedIn, Facebook,
TikTok, RockyGardscom on everyplatform, it's just RockyGards.
Probably the best way toconnect is either connecting me
over on LinkedIn and or over onInstagram, where those are the
two places we are the most.
And if you're interested in youwant to take a step for
yourself or what we just walkedthrough the confidence method,
(33:07):
we have that delivered to youfree as an ebook for you to walk
through the whole process onyour own.
You can get that at rockygarzacom slash confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Okay, Courtney, you got to like tell our listeners.
Thank you, by the way, Rocky.
We talked about this tellinglisteners about what they need
to do too.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
They need to watch this episode on YouTube at the
Now Podcast for Real.
So make sure you check it outand you subscribe to our channel
and we'll make sure we put thelink to all of Rocky's stuff on
there so you can get on thereand get your free e-book.
So Now Podcast for Real onYouTube Subscribe and review
this episode.
Do some reviews.
If you comment on there, we'llmake sure to respond.
(33:51):
We'll make sure Rocky canrespond.
This was a great episode.
Thank you, Rocky.
52 weeks, one year 52 weeks.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Well done, well done.
I so appreciate you all.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Thanks, rocky, have a good one.
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