Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Good evening and welcome to another episode of
Nurse Maureen's Health ShowPodcast.
I'm Maureen McGrath, aregistered nurse, nurse,
continence advisor and sexualhealth educator.
Thank you so much for tuning infinding the one with someone
who doesn't leave romance up toalgorithms.
(00:24):
Annie Garmendia is a modern daymatchmaker with an old school
touch, blending intuition,insight in a deep understanding
of human connection to createlove stories that last from the
history of matchmaking to thepitfalls of online dating, and
he's pulling back the curtain onwhat it really takes to make a
match.
So, whether you're single,searching, searching or just
(00:44):
curious, get ready because yourperspective on love is about to
change.
Good evening, annie.
Thanks so much for joining thepodcast.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Thank you so much for having me, marie, and it's very
nice to be back on with you.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh, awesome, I'm delighted to have you as well.
This is such an importantsubject, especially in the world
of dating as it kind of existstoday, with everything online
and sort of this smorgasbord oflack of intimacy and connection.
But I want to step it back alittle bit because I want to
talk about matchmaking.
It's an old art.
Can you give us a brief historyof matchmaking?
How did it start and how has itevolved over the years?
(01:18):
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Well, I have been in the industry for the past 15
years.
I was actually the youngestmatchmaker in Canada, but I mean
it's one of the oldestprofessions in time and so I've
kind of seen the progressionfrom 15 years ago, when there
was no online dating available,till today, seeing people go
through the fatigue of onlinedating.
(01:41):
So I'm very excited to talk toyou about all of the things to
do with matchmaking 15 years agoand looking at it today.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Wonderful.
What inspired you to become amatchmaker and how do you
approach finding the right matchfor somebody?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
That is such a great question.
So, as most matchmakers that Ihave spoken to in the industry,
we just kind of found a veryorganic path to it.
I've just always been a naturalconnector.
I came from divorced parentsand I was an extremely
extroverted child, but an onlychild at that.
So whenever I was with myparents I would have to find
(02:20):
friends, and I would always seemy parents kind of hanging back
alone.
So I would think in my head,well, they need friends too.
So whatever friend I made atthe beach or the park, I would
go up to their parents and askthem if they wanted to be
friends with my parents andbring over, you know, all these
random people.
And my parents were like youneed to stop this.
Like I actually like some alonetime, which I found it really
(02:42):
hard to comprehend.
But then that transition intolater in my 20s when my
girlfriend started dating oneparticular girlfriend was dating
a guy that I did not approve of.
It was very hard to pass thetest with me, especially my
girlfriend.
So I set up a profile on ononline dating.
(03:03):
It was plenty of fish I thinkwe had eHarmony and plenty of
fish back then so I created aprofile for her and other
girlfriends got wind of it, sothey asked me to manage their
online dating presence andeventually, you know they were
like hey, you are essentially amatchmaker, you should be
charging for this.
So that's how I got startedinto matchmaking.
(03:25):
I started my own company amonth prior to Tinder being
announced and kind of exploding.
So that was interesting andfast forward to 2025, being a
matchmaker through the pandemic.
That's been a roller coaster aswell, but that's essentially
how.
That's the long story of how Igot into matchmaking.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
As well, but that's essentially how.
That's the long story of how Igot into matchmaking.
Well, that is amazing, and yourwebsite is synccom.
C, I, n, q, e.
No U in that, so if you want tohave a quick little look.
But but stay with us, of course, because we have lots to learn.
I have another question for you, annie how does traditional
matchmaking differ from onlinedating apps like Tinder or
Bumble?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
That's a great question, and so that's another
thing.
You know, when it comes toonline dating, people are always
like, oh, it's unlimitedopportunity.
But, as you said, is it?
A lot of people kind of falloff of the apps very quickly,
especially women.
And this is something that Italk about on the daily, every
day, all day is the challengesthat both men and women face on
(04:28):
online dating.
It's kind of the same, but onthe opposite spectrum, women get
bombarded online withpropositions from men.
You know, the dating apps aregamified, so that's really fun
for women to kind of swipe leftor right.
We sit with our girlfriendsover a glass of wine, we swipe
(04:49):
through an entire city in thespan of two hours, but women
have a great return ofinvestment for their swipes, so
they end up with about 200 guysin their DM section asking the
same question.
So, on online dating, it isvery repetitive conversations
that you're having and alsothere is no emotional connection
.
So we're able to bridge thatgap with matchmaking, because we
learn a lot about people.
We essentially go on the firstdate for you.
(05:11):
So it's through the vettingprocess where people actually
discover the commonalities andwe're able to share.
So if somebody went on a gapyear to Japan maybe my client
did as well, and so I'm able toshare that and therefore they
become even more excited toactually meet in person, which
is one of the challenges thatpeople are having online Maybe
(05:33):
they're connecting, but the inperson date isn't actually
happening.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Right and you know, one of the issues that I hear
from friends of mine who areonline dating is that you know
they will often cycle throughthe same guys.
A couple of friends of mine.
They have had experience withone guy and then somebody you
know that same guy reaches outto a friend of theirs, probably
because that's how the algorithmworks.
(05:59):
You know, if you're connected,what are the biggest benefits of
using a matchmaker and you'vetouched upon a couple compared
to online dating.
Are there specific types ofpeople who benefit more from
matchmaking services?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I mean, anyone can benefit from hiring a
matchmaker, but it is a luxuryservice and so you have to think
of do I want to hire someone?
Do I want to outsource thispart of my life?
Because doing online dating, asmost people know, is a
full-time job.
It requires a lot of attention.
You have to be very organizedin setting up the dates.
(06:34):
One of the biggest things thatwe see is the scheduling, and so
if someone's not available thisweekend, online dating moves
very, very quickly, and so theonline dating setting up the
in-person date falls apart very,very quickly.
So we do have, I would say, 99%success rate with actually
(06:55):
getting people to meet in person, which is one of the biggest
struggles, and also, as well,doing our due diligence in the
vetting process.
One of the things that we hearfrom men and women at the same
time is oh, I went on a datewith somebody from an online
dating app, but they didn't looklike their photos or they were
totally different in person.
So it's through the vettingprocess.
(07:15):
We'll verify if we suspectsomeone is using a lot of
filters or gentlemen.
You know they're kind ofterrible for this, but I don't
blame them.
They don't have a lot of photos, not like women.
We take photos with ourgirlfriends all of the time.
Men don't take that many photos, so sometimes they're updating
photos that are 10 years old andso women will complain about
(07:38):
that.
So we'll do the verification andmake sure that they look how
they are presenting and, inaddition, we do the vetting
process, which a lot of stuffcomes up during those
conversations that I am having,where I can kind of determine oh
okay, they're actually, youknow, very religious or they
sway this way politically andthis person sways the other way,
(07:59):
and so I'm able to give theminformation.
I always joke and I say I askall of the questions that you
should not ask on a first date.
I'll ask them for you and letyou know where they stand, and
then it's up to you to make aneducated decision on whether you
still want to go on a firstdate.
I'll ask them for you and letyou know where they stand, and
then it's up to you to make aneducated decision on whether you
still want to go on a date withthis person.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, and I imagine something else that would pop up
is that, oh, maybe they'restill married, which is another
complaint that I hear from a lotof my female friends as well.
I certainly hear complaintsabout men too.
I mean from men also, you know,saying that they're not.
They thought they'd beexclusive with a woman and they
can still see them online.
You mentioned that it is aluxury service, but you know,
(08:42):
and I know, these times aretough and they might be getting
tougher shortly, but there's alot of people with a lot of
money and no time and time ismoney, and so I think it's.
You know your priorities inyour life.
You know, do you want to justwork the rest of your life or
are you sitting on?
You know a lot of equity inyour home, or you know, do you
have a lot of cash sittingaround?
This is a very valuable servicebecause you know people who
(09:04):
have spent two, three, fouryears online and still have not
met the one.
What's the most surprisingthing people don't realize about
working with a matchmaker?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh, that is such a great question, and the thing
that I hear from most of myclients all the time is wow, I
didn't realize that this wasalso going to be a self
development journey.
Because, yes, of course we areintroducing you to the type of
people that you want to meet,but in addition, we get the
feedback after the date, andeverybody has blind spots, and
(09:37):
it's not to the responsibilityof the person that is sitting
across from you to tell you whatyou're doing wrong during these
dates, and so we're able toprovide feedback.
We also provide coaching, andthat comes in very handy with
clients that are starting todate somebody.
The beginning stages of datingare very precarious, you know,
especially when you are texting,and so we're able to.
(10:00):
We'll say, send us a screenshot, what is she saying, and we can
kind of guide them from that,their first argument or their
first disagreement.
They can utilize us as theirmatchmaker slash dating coaches
to kind of guide them throughthat.
I have clients that won't evenbuy a cologne without running it
by me first.
So I'm sort of like theirpersonal assistant, dating coach
(10:20):
, matchmaker all rolled into one.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Wow, well, that's a great responsibility and a great
service that you provide forpeople.
You know, men frequently expressfrustration with online dating,
as I mentioned, particularlyregarding their experiences with
women, and some of the commoncomplaints I've heard from men
are low match rates, especiallyfor men who don't perceive
(10:43):
themselves as physicallyattractive, or a lack of
reciprocation in conversationsand the prevalence of one word
responses, or ghosting, is verycommon, um.
So it seems to me that thisservice would be very valuable,
you know, not just for women, uh, but for men as well, because,
uh, another thing that and I andI find this on, I hear it from
(11:05):
both sides, from men and womenand matchmaking is not just for,
um, for heterosexualrelationships, it's also for
same-sex relationships as well.
But I hear, you know, there areconcerns about being used for
free dates or having unrealisticexpectations based on their
online profiles.
And I might add that I have acouple of friends who will show
(11:28):
me the pictures of guys andthey'll say you know he's 48.
And I'll say he's not 48.
You know he's 60.
Yeah, you can tell, but youknow, it's nice to hear there's
a reason behind that, becauseyou're right, men, don't take
all these photographs and may Iadvise, do not take a photograph
, you know shirtless.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Oh, please, you're automatically going to be swiped
.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yes, no we hate that Exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, then you're automatically going to be swiped
.
Yes, no, we hate that.
Yeah, but I wanted to sort oftouch on what you've just said
about the complaints of menhaving low match rates, and I
say to men all the time listen,it's probably not your fault,
it's our fault.
And again, women swipe throughan entire city in two hours with
their girlfriends over a glassof wine, because that's the fun
part for us.
In addition, women are notphysically driven as much as men
(12:15):
are, and this just goes down toscience and I say this to men
all the time and women we datewanting to procreate, even if
we're not actually wanting toprocreate.
But men have to be sexuallyattracted one way or another and
women have to feel emotionallyconnected, and so that is the
real disconnect for women ononline dating, we're forced to
(12:36):
be physically driven.
So when we look at a man onlineand he is physically attractive
, we're still swiping on a maybestandpoint.
We're going okay, great, helooks great on his photos, but
is he going to be a jerk?
I don't know.
I'll find out in thediscussions via DMs.
But again, women have a greatreturn of investment.
So the conversations are movingvery, very quickly from Paul
(12:59):
and Jake and Gregory and Peter,and now we're flooded with all
of these men and one guy willruin it for the rest of them.
Now he'll be weird.
He'll call a woman out of hername and the women fall off of
the apps very, very, veryquickly, and to the point that I
hear women tell me all the time, the minute that I open my app,
I get anxiety.
(13:19):
So we have we're overwhelmed,actually, with women that are
joining a matchmakers freenetwork to be considered for
male clients.
Reason being is women are alsovery safety driven, as I'm sure
you can imagine.
So the two main concerns thatwomen have online are is he just
looking for a hookup or maybe,you know, is he a serial killer?
(13:43):
Or do I have to worry about mysafety when I meet him on a
first date?
And so all of those things gettaken away when they join a
matchmaking service, becausethey know that the men who are
hiring us are proactivelylooking for a, you know, serious
relationship and, in addition,we take their safety very
(14:04):
seriously.
We have screened these men, youknow they we kind of do a very
light criminal check on them.
We check all of their socials,we dive deep onto the internet
and find everything that we canabout this guy.
So women feel safer datingthrough us.
So I'm seeing now more and morewomen joining matchmaking
services and steering away fromthe dating apps.
(14:27):
Their profiles might still beactive, but they're not
responding, and so it's notreally men's fault.
It's just sort of, you know it'sacross the board for women.
They all kind of feel the sameway about it.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Very interesting and you know, I hear also from women
that they have a list.
You know, does he have a job?
Number one, how tall is heNumber?
Two is he still married?
Number three, and you know, ishe a serial killer?
Probably number four.
Yeah, how do you assesscompatibility between two people
beyond basic interests orlifestyles?
Do you use psychology,intuition or something else?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Intuition has always played a big part on it.
Of course, you know, women havea list, and this is another
reason why I see men sort oflying about their age is because
women will use those filters onan online dating platform very
aggressively, and so because wedefault to this list.
So it's like oh you know, our,our ideal preference is going to
(15:25):
meet, is going to be to meetsomebody who's over six five,
right, but if I call them andI'm talking to them about this
wonderful person that I'vegotten to know some well, but
hey, he's 5'10".
Nine times out of 10, they'relike oh, that's totally fine,
but on the dating apps they willput over six five, and so real
men, great men, are not beingseen at all on the online dating
(15:48):
apps because of the way thatwomen use filters.
So I just wanted to say aboutthat and then how I look for a
great match.
It's honestly to do withlifestyle.
They have to have similarlifestyle, they have to have a
similar outlook on life, sharedexperiences and timing is also
very important.
Where are they in their journeyof?
(16:09):
Do they want to have children?
Do they have older children,that they have older children?
Do they have younger children.
So it's about that type ofcompatibility.
But, that being said, sometimessome of the greatest matches
that I've done are completeopposites, and so I remember I
had this female client.
She, of course, gave me thislist.
It was a very strict list.
(16:30):
I met this gentleman he, I mean, I just fall in love every day,
and that's one of the thingsthat I love about my job.
I think I have a very goodradar when it comes to people
and I called her and I said look, he is nothing of the things
that you had mentioned on yourlist, but he is so incredible,
will you please just take aphone call?
(16:51):
And she she was like all right,I trust you, because it is a
very trusting relationship, thatof a client and a matchmaker.
It has to go both ways.
So she took the call and theyended up dating and off they
went.
I believe they're stilltogether.
I'm not sure this was about sixyears ago, but this happens to
me on the daily.
So that is another reason, withour matchmaking agency, why we
(17:13):
do unlimited matchmaking.
It is not a set number, becauseI don't want people to project
their ideas onto someone andpass on them because they have
this, you know.
Oh, I only have six dates, soI'm gonna be really picky.
That's not how love works.
So I provide my clients with asmuch opportunity based on what
they're looking for, through thevetting process that I have
(17:37):
done.
But I will be very transparentand say hey, I know you wanted
to meet somebody.
You know that is a perfect,amazing skier.
Well, this person hates skiing,but here are all the other
things that they make makes upfor them skiing, but here are
all the other things that theymake makes up for them.
And so at that point they'llmake an educated decision and go
.
You know what?
The skiing is not even thatimportant.
(17:57):
I don't know why I said that,yes, I'll meet them.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Right, and it's never too late to start something new
.
What advice would?
You give to someone who feelsdisillusioned with modern dating
and is considering using amatchmaker for the first time.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah, I mean, listen, everyone is disillusioned at
one point or another, especiallyif you've had bad luck on
online dating.
That's kind of where I hearit's the dating fatigue.
You know people are going onendless, endless dates all the
time.
Matchmaking is a morecustomized approach.
You know we always say if youwant unlimited dates, just go on
(18:36):
Tinder, just go on the datingapps.
That's not what we do.
We focus on quality.
So I can't ever guaranteechemistry that is something that
happens between two people.
But I can guarantee that mostdates that you go on that are
presented by me are going to bean enjoyable experience.
You might make a friend, youknow, maybe a business partner.
Everyone is like minded thepeople that I am introducing to
(18:57):
one another.
So they're going to beenjoyable dates and that is how
chemistry develops when you'reenjoying somebody's company.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely Well.
Annie, thank you so much.
I've learned so much aboutmatchmaking and I thought I knew
a little bit about it before,but I've learned so much more.
I really appreciate you comingonto the broadcast and educating
my listeners.
Where can people find you?
I know you're all over socialmedia on Instagram at the
Matchmaker Club.
(19:26):
Your website is synccomC-I-N-Q-Ecom.
That's synccom Nice little playon words two people syncing up
together.
Anywhere else can people email?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
you?
Oh, absolutely Annie, atsynccom.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Perfect.
Well, Annie, thank you so much.
Really appreciate all of theinformation.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Thank you for having me on Maureen, Always a pleasure
.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Always my pleasure.
That was Annie Garmendia, andshe is the matchmaker
extraordinaire.
You can find her all oversocial media at the matchmaker
club.
Her website is cinquecom.
If you have someone in yourlife who's complaining that they
don't have someone in theirlife, you might want to turn
them on to this episode of NurseMaureen's Health Show Podcast.
(20:11):
Thanks so much for tuning in.
Good evening and welcome to another episode of
Nurse Maureen's Health ShowPodcast.
I'm Maureen McGrath, aregistered nurse, nurse,
continence advisor and sexualhealth educator.
Thank you so much for tuning infinding the one with someone
who doesn't leave romance up toalgorithms.
(00:24):
Annie Garmendia is a modern daymatchmaker with an old school
touch, blending intuition,insight in a deep understanding
of human connection to createlove stories that last from the
history of matchmaking to thepitfalls of online dating, and
he's pulling back the curtain onwhat it really takes to make a
match.
So, whether you're single,searching, searching or just
(00:44):
curious, get ready because yourperspective on love is about to
change.
Good evening, annie.
Thanks so much for joining thepodcast.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Thank you so much for having me, marie, and it's very
nice to be back on with you.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh, awesome, I'm delighted to have you as well.
This is such an importantsubject, especially in the world
of dating as it kind of existstoday, with everything online
and sort of this smorgasbord oflack of intimacy and connection.
But I want to step it back alittle bit because I want to
talk about matchmaking.
It's an old art.
Can you give us a brief historyof matchmaking?
How did it start and how has itevolved over the years?
(01:18):
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Well, I have been in the industry for the past 15
years.
I was actually the youngestmatchmaker in Canada, but I mean
it's one of the oldestprofessions in time and so I've
kind of seen the progressionfrom 15 years ago, when there
was no online dating available,till today, seeing people go
through the fatigue of onlinedating.
(01:41):
So I'm very excited to talk toyou about all of the things to
do with matchmaking 15 years agoand looking at it today.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Wonderful.
What inspired you to become amatchmaker and how do you
approach finding the right matchfor somebody?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
That is such a great question.
So, as most matchmakers that Ihave spoken to in the industry,
we just kind of found a veryorganic path to it.
I've just always been a naturalconnector.
I came from divorced parentsand I was an extremely
extroverted child, but an onlychild at that.
So whenever I was with myparents I would have to find
(02:20):
friends, and I would always seemy parents kind of hanging back
alone.
So I would think in my head,well, they need friends too.
So whatever friend I made atthe beach or the park, I would
go up to their parents and askthem if they wanted to be
friends with my parents andbring over, you know, all these
random people.
And my parents were like youneed to stop this.
Like I actually like some alonetime, which I found it really
(02:42):
hard to comprehend.
But then that transition intolater in my 20s when my
girlfriend started dating oneparticular girlfriend was dating
a guy that I did not approve of.
It was very hard to pass thetest with me, especially my
girlfriend.
So I set up a profile on ononline dating.
(03:03):
It was plenty of fish I thinkwe had eHarmony and plenty of
fish back then so I created aprofile for her and other
girlfriends got wind of it, sothey asked me to manage their
online dating presence andeventually, you know they were
like hey, you are essentially amatchmaker, you should be
charging for this.
So that's how I got startedinto matchmaking.
(03:25):
I started my own company amonth prior to Tinder being
announced and kind of exploding.
So that was interesting andfast forward to 2025, being a
matchmaker through the pandemic.
That's been a roller coaster aswell, but that's essentially
how.
That's the long story of how Igot into matchmaking.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
As well, but that's essentially how.
That's the long story of how Igot into matchmaking.
Well, that is amazing, and yourwebsite is synccom.
C, I, n, q, e.
No U in that, so if you want tohave a quick little look.
But but stay with us, of course, because we have lots to learn.
I have another question for you, annie how does traditional
matchmaking differ from onlinedating apps like Tinder or
Bumble?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
That's a great question, and so that's another
thing.
You know, when it comes toonline dating, people are always
like, oh, it's unlimitedopportunity.
But, as you said, is it?
A lot of people kind of falloff of the apps very quickly,
especially women.
And this is something that Italk about on the daily, every
day, all day is the challengesthat both men and women face on
(04:28):
online dating.
It's kind of the same, but onthe opposite spectrum, women get
bombarded online withpropositions from men.
You know, the dating apps aregamified, so that's really fun
for women to kind of swipe leftor right.
We sit with our girlfriendsover a glass of wine, we swipe
(04:49):
through an entire city in thespan of two hours, but women
have a great return ofinvestment for their swipes, so
they end up with about 200 guysin their DM section asking the
same question.
So, on online dating, it isvery repetitive conversations
that you're having and alsothere is no emotional connection
.
So we're able to bridge thatgap with matchmaking, because we
learn a lot about people.
We essentially go on the firstdate for you.
(05:11):
So it's through the vettingprocess where people actually
discover the commonalities andwe're able to share.
So if somebody went on a gapyear to Japan maybe my client
did as well, and so I'm able toshare that and therefore they
become even more excited toactually meet in person, which
is one of the challenges thatpeople are having online Maybe
(05:33):
they're connecting, but the inperson date isn't actually
happening.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Right and you know, one of the issues that I hear
from friends of mine who areonline dating is that you know
they will often cycle throughthe same guys.
A couple of friends of mine.
They have had experience withone guy and then somebody you
know that same guy reaches outto a friend of theirs, probably
because that's how the algorithmworks.
(05:59):
You know, if you're connected,what are the biggest benefits of
using a matchmaker and you'vetouched upon a couple compared
to online dating.
Are there specific types ofpeople who benefit more from
matchmaking services?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I mean, anyone can benefit from hiring a
matchmaker, but it is a luxuryservice and so you have to think
of do I want to hire someone?
Do I want to outsource thispart of my life?
Because doing online dating, asmost people know, is a
full-time job.
It requires a lot of attention.
You have to be very organizedin setting up the dates.
(06:34):
One of the biggest things thatwe see is the scheduling, and so
if someone's not available thisweekend, online dating moves
very, very quickly, and so theonline dating setting up the
in-person date falls apart very,very quickly.
So we do have, I would say, 99%success rate with actually
(06:55):
getting people to meet in person, which is one of the biggest
struggles, and also, as well,doing our due diligence in the
vetting process.
One of the things that we hearfrom men and women at the same
time is oh, I went on a datewith somebody from an online
dating app, but they didn't looklike their photos or they were
totally different in person.
So it's through the vettingprocess.
(07:15):
We'll verify if we suspectsomeone is using a lot of
filters or gentlemen.
You know they're kind ofterrible for this, but I don't
blame them.
They don't have a lot of photos, not like women.
We take photos with ourgirlfriends all of the time.
Men don't take that many photos, so sometimes they're updating
photos that are 10 years old andso women will complain about
(07:38):
that.
So we'll do the verification andmake sure that they look how
they are presenting and, inaddition, we do the vetting
process, which a lot of stuffcomes up during those
conversations that I am having,where I can kind of determine oh
okay, they're actually, youknow, very religious or they
sway this way politically andthis person sways the other way,
(07:59):
and so I'm able to give theminformation.
I always joke and I say I askall of the questions that you
should not ask on a first date.
I'll ask them for you and letyou know where they stand, and
then it's up to you to make aneducated decision on whether you
still want to go on a firstdate.
I'll ask them for you and letyou know where they stand, and
then it's up to you to make aneducated decision on whether you
still want to go on a date withthis person.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, and I imagine something else that would pop up
is that, oh, maybe they'restill married, which is another
complaint that I hear from a lotof my female friends as well.
I certainly hear complaintsabout men too.
I mean from men also, you know,saying that they're not.
They thought they'd beexclusive with a woman and they
can still see them online.
You mentioned that it is aluxury service, but you know,
(08:42):
and I know, these times aretough and they might be getting
tougher shortly, but there's alot of people with a lot of
money and no time and time ismoney, and so I think it's.
You know your priorities inyour life.
You know, do you want to justwork the rest of your life or
are you sitting on?
You know a lot of equity inyour home, or you know, do you
have a lot of cash sittingaround?
This is a very valuable servicebecause you know people who
(09:04):
have spent two, three, fouryears online and still have not
met the one.
What's the most surprisingthing people don't realize about
working with a matchmaker?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh, that is such a great question, and the thing
that I hear from most of myclients all the time is wow, I
didn't realize that this wasalso going to be a self
development journey.
Because, yes, of course we areintroducing you to the type of
people that you want to meet,but in addition, we get the
feedback after the date, andeverybody has blind spots, and
(09:37):
it's not to the responsibilityof the person that is sitting
across from you to tell you whatyou're doing wrong during these
dates, and so we're able toprovide feedback.
We also provide coaching, andthat comes in very handy with
clients that are starting todate somebody.
The beginning stages of datingare very precarious, you know,
especially when you are texting,and so we're able to.
(10:00):
We'll say, send us a screenshot, what is she saying, and we can
kind of guide them from that,their first argument or their
first disagreement.
They can utilize us as theirmatchmaker slash dating coaches
to kind of guide them throughthat.
I have clients that won't evenbuy a cologne without running it
by me first.
So I'm sort of like theirpersonal assistant, dating coach
(10:20):
, matchmaker all rolled into one.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Wow, well, that's a great responsibility and a great
service that you provide forpeople.
You know, men frequently expressfrustration with online dating,
as I mentioned, particularlyregarding their experiences with
women, and some of the commoncomplaints I've heard from men
are low match rates, especiallyfor men who don't perceive
(10:43):
themselves as physicallyattractive, or a lack of
reciprocation in conversationsand the prevalence of one word
responses, or ghosting, is verycommon, um.
So it seems to me that thisservice would be very valuable,
you know, not just for women, uh, but for men as well, because,
uh, another thing that and I andI find this on, I hear it from
(11:05):
both sides, from men and womenand matchmaking is not just for,
um, for heterosexualrelationships, it's also for
same-sex relationships as well.
But I hear, you know, there areconcerns about being used for
free dates or having unrealisticexpectations based on their
online profiles.
And I might add that I have acouple of friends who will show
(11:28):
me the pictures of guys andthey'll say you know he's 48.
And I'll say he's not 48.
You know he's 60.
Yeah, you can tell, but youknow, it's nice to hear there's
a reason behind that, becauseyou're right, men, don't take
all these photographs and may Iadvise, do not take a photograph
, you know shirtless.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Oh, please, you're automatically going to be swiped
.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yes, no we hate that Exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, then you're automatically going to be swiped
.
Yes, no, we hate that.
Yeah, but I wanted to sort oftouch on what you've just said
about the complaints of menhaving low match rates, and I
say to men all the time listen,it's probably not your fault,
it's our fault.
And again, women swipe throughan entire city in two hours with
their girlfriends over a glassof wine, because that's the fun
part for us.
In addition, women are notphysically driven as much as men
(12:15):
are, and this just goes down toscience and I say this to men
all the time and women we datewanting to procreate, even if
we're not actually wanting toprocreate.
But men have to be sexuallyattracted one way or another and
women have to feel emotionallyconnected, and so that is the
real disconnect for women ononline dating, we're forced to
(12:36):
be physically driven.
So when we look at a man onlineand he is physically attractive
, we're still swiping on a maybestandpoint.
We're going okay, great, helooks great on his photos, but
is he going to be a jerk?
I don't know.
I'll find out in thediscussions via DMs.
But again, women have a greatreturn of investment.
So the conversations are movingvery, very quickly from Paul
(12:59):
and Jake and Gregory and Peter,and now we're flooded with all
of these men and one guy willruin it for the rest of them.
Now he'll be weird.
He'll call a woman out of hername and the women fall off of
the apps very, very, veryquickly, and to the point that I
hear women tell me all the time, the minute that I open my app,
I get anxiety.
(13:19):
So we have we're overwhelmed,actually, with women that are
joining a matchmakers freenetwork to be considered for
male clients.
Reason being is women are alsovery safety driven, as I'm sure
you can imagine.
So the two main concerns thatwomen have online are is he just
looking for a hookup or maybe,you know, is he a serial killer?
(13:43):
Or do I have to worry about mysafety when I meet him on a
first date?
And so all of those things gettaken away when they join a
matchmaking service, becausethey know that the men who are
hiring us are proactivelylooking for a, you know, serious
relationship and, in addition,we take their safety very
(14:04):
seriously.
We have screened these men, youknow they we kind of do a very
light criminal check on them.
We check all of their socials,we dive deep onto the internet
and find everything that we canabout this guy.
So women feel safer datingthrough us.
So I'm seeing now more and morewomen joining matchmaking
services and steering away fromthe dating apps.
(14:27):
Their profiles might still beactive, but they're not
responding, and so it's notreally men's fault.
It's just sort of, you know it'sacross the board for women.
They all kind of feel the sameway about it.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Very interesting and you know, I hear also from women
that they have a list.
You know, does he have a job?
Number one, how tall is heNumber?
Two is he still married?
Number three, and you know, ishe a serial killer?
Probably number four.
Yeah, how do you assesscompatibility between two people
beyond basic interests orlifestyles?
Do you use psychology,intuition or something else?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Intuition has always played a big part on it.
Of course, you know, women havea list, and this is another
reason why I see men sort oflying about their age is because
women will use those filters onan online dating platform very
aggressively, and so because wedefault to this list.
So it's like oh you know, our,our ideal preference is going to
(15:25):
meet, is going to be to meetsomebody who's over six five,
right, but if I call them andI'm talking to them about this
wonderful person that I'vegotten to know some well, but
hey, he's 5'10".
Nine times out of 10, they'relike oh, that's totally fine,
but on the dating apps they willput over six five, and so real
men, great men, are not beingseen at all on the online dating
(15:48):
apps because of the way thatwomen use filters.
So I just wanted to say aboutthat and then how I look for a
great match.
It's honestly to do withlifestyle.
They have to have similarlifestyle, they have to have a
similar outlook on life, sharedexperiences and timing is also
very important.
Where are they in their journeyof?
(16:09):
Do they want to have children?
Do they have older children,that they have older children?
Do they have younger children.
So it's about that type ofcompatibility.
But, that being said, sometimessome of the greatest matches
that I've done are completeopposites, and so I remember I
had this female client.
She, of course, gave me thislist.
It was a very strict list.
(16:30):
I met this gentleman he, I mean, I just fall in love every day,
and that's one of the thingsthat I love about my job.
I think I have a very goodradar when it comes to people
and I called her and I said look, he is nothing of the things
that you had mentioned on yourlist, but he is so incredible,
will you please just take aphone call?
(16:51):
And she she was like all right,I trust you, because it is a
very trusting relationship, thatof a client and a matchmaker.
It has to go both ways.
So she took the call and theyended up dating and off they
went.
I believe they're stilltogether.
I'm not sure this was about sixyears ago, but this happens to
me on the daily.
So that is another reason, withour matchmaking agency, why we
(17:13):
do unlimited matchmaking.
It is not a set number, becauseI don't want people to project
their ideas onto someone andpass on them because they have
this, you know.
Oh, I only have six dates, soI'm gonna be really picky.
That's not how love works.
So I provide my clients with asmuch opportunity based on what
they're looking for, through thevetting process that I have
(17:37):
done.
But I will be very transparentand say hey, I know you wanted
to meet somebody.
You know that is a perfect,amazing skier.
Well, this person hates skiing,but here are all the other
things that they make makes upfor them skiing, but here are
all the other things that theymake makes up for them.
And so at that point they'llmake an educated decision and go
.
You know what?
The skiing is not even thatimportant.
(17:57):
I don't know why I said that,yes, I'll meet them.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Right, and it's never too late to start something new
.
What advice would?
You give to someone who feelsdisillusioned with modern dating
and is considering using amatchmaker for the first time.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah, I mean, listen, everyone is disillusioned at
one point or another, especiallyif you've had bad luck on
online dating.
That's kind of where I hearit's the dating fatigue.
You know people are going onendless, endless dates all the
time.
Matchmaking is a morecustomized approach.
You know we always say if youwant unlimited dates, just go on
(18:36):
Tinder, just go on the datingapps.
That's not what we do.
We focus on quality.
So I can't ever guaranteechemistry that is something that
happens between two people.
But I can guarantee that mostdates that you go on that are
presented by me are going to bean enjoyable experience.
You might make a friend, youknow, maybe a business partner.
Everyone is like minded thepeople that I am introducing to
(18:57):
one another.
So they're going to beenjoyable dates and that is how
chemistry develops when you'reenjoying somebody's company.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely Well.
Annie, thank you so much.
I've learned so much aboutmatchmaking and I thought I knew
a little bit about it before,but I've learned so much more.
I really appreciate you comingonto the broadcast and educating
my listeners.
Where can people find you?
I know you're all over socialmedia on Instagram at the
Matchmaker Club.
(19:26):
Your website is synccomC-I-N-Q-Ecom.
That's synccom Nice little playon words two people syncing up
together.
Anywhere else can people email?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
you?
Oh, absolutely Annie, atsynccom.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Perfect.
Well, Annie, thank you so much.
Really appreciate all of theinformation.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Thank you for having me on Maureen, Always a pleasure
.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Always my pleasure.
That was Annie Garmendia, andshe is the matchmaker
extraordinaire.
You can find her all oversocial media at the matchmaker
club.
Her website is cinquecom.
If you have someone in yourlife who's complaining that they
don't have someone in theirlife, you might want to turn
them on to this episode of NurseMaureen's Health Show Podcast.
(20:11):
Thanks so much for tuning in.
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