June 4, 2025 • 49 mins
Ever wonder why nursing friendships hit different? When you've held pressure on a bleeding wound together or laughed hysterically at 3 AM after your fifth admission, something profound happens between colleagues that non-healthcare friends simply cannot understand.
Christopher and Colby dive deep into the fascinating paradox of nursing relationships – how spending 12-hour shifts together can either forge unbreakable bonds or create uncomfortable tensions. They explore the complexity of maintaining boundaries when the person who knows your deepest secrets is also critiquing your charting, and the delicate balance required when friend dynamics shift to charge nurse hierarchies.
The hosts share personal experiences of nursing friendships gone wrong, including Christopher's admission that he once declared "I'm not here to make friends" (spoiler: it didn't stick), and Colby's heartbreak over a Christmas party with specially-made vegan treats that went uneaten. They explore why relationships with non-healthcare friends often struggle under the weight of misunderstood schedules and the inability to relate to nursing trauma.
Most powerfully, they reveal how true nursing friendships become lifelines in the chaos – these are the people who notice when you haven't taken a break, who understand without explanation why yesterday's code is still affecting you, and who know exactly when to step in and take the charge phone so you can finally eat something. As Colby puts it, "That's like love, you know? That really is love and caring."
Whether you're struggling with workplace relationships or cherishing your nursing tribe, this episode offers both validation and practical advice for navigating the unique social landscape of healthcare. Subscribe now to continue exploring the aspects of nursing school never prepared you for, and join our growing community of nurses who get it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christopher (00:00):
Welcome to Nursing Lyfe 101, the most important
nursing class you never got totake in nursing school.
We will be traversing differentobjectives, like interviewing,
what to do in nursing school,boundaries, burnout and so much
more.
If this interests you, I hopeyou are taking good notes
because class is now in session.
(00:46):
Hello, and welcome to NursingLyfe 101! We're so excited to
have you here with us as we diveinto the world of nursing,
sharing our experiences,insights and a little bit of fun
along the way.
I'm Christopher and I couldn'tbe happier to introduce my
co-host.
Colby (00:59):
Hey guys, it's Colby.
Together, we'll be bringing youreal stories, practical tips
and discussions about all thingsnursing, whether you're a
fellow nurse or just curiousabout the life behind scrubs.
We're thrilled to have you joinus.
Christopher (01:09):
Colby, I hate you.
No, I was joking, I'm joking,I'm joking, I'm joking.
So, as you probably can tell,both Colby and I are pretty
decent friends, decent you knowI can say I hate her and she
doesn't punch me in the face,which is good.
Colby (01:28):
No, I just almost cried,
Christopher (01:30):
but this episode is about friendships and how
nursing can foster greatfriendships and then also how
they can hurt some friendships.
We want to start with the badfirst, and then we'll get to the
good part we We'll end on apositive.
Yeah, it's always the goodstuff.
So working 12-hour shifts, howdoes that hurt a friendship?
Colby (01:54):
Well, I mean, as one can probably deduce, when you're
spending so much time together,that can either be a positive or
negative, and I think sometimesyou find it turns out to be a
negative.
Christopher (02:08):
Yeah, there's some.
I literally and I say it toeverybody, but I'm like that
30-minute lunch break.
I don't want to see you.
Please don't come to see me, Idon't need to see you Take the
lunch break.
But also, like we're thinkingspecifically like nursing and
the people that we work with,but it also hurts those that are
(02:30):
not nurses.
Has that happened to you?
Like any of the people that arelike outside of nursing been
less friendly because you workso long?
Colby (02:42):
Yeah, I do.
I do agree.
I think it's really hard forpeople that don't work in our
same environment that tounderstand where we're coming
from.
You know, I think, and thathappens with.
I mean, this is a podcastepisode about friendships, but
it also happens with familiesLike if you think like like I
have friends who have familiesthat are locally and they don't
understand, like why afterworking a night shift you can't
(03:04):
come that next day for an event.
So like that same thing withfriends, like, oh, you worked
night shift, you're off todaylike why can't you be here,
right?
and it's like I'm trying tosleep like I, I, I can, I'm
sorry and like sometimes peoplejust don't get the culture
around, around nursing.
If it doesn't match with whatthey know and what they do, then
(03:26):
it just it's hard for them towrap their heads around yeah,
they just don't get it yeah, sowe tend to end up in close
relationships with the peoplethat we work with yeah because
they understand our lifestyle
Christopher (03:39):
but then you have those people that are your like
go-to people in nursing in yourshift.
But even 12 hours with a personcan be tumultuous
Colby (03:53):
yeah, it could be
Christopher (03:55):
um, and you like learn all these things about
this person person and sometimesyou and nurse A in the corner
does not get along and that can.
Really.
You could be thinking one wayand you could have been friends
(04:16):
before, but then you tend to goout and get dinner or go out and
go party and you start to hangout with them a lot more and
then suddenly you're like, nah,this was not the friend I wanted
and I know, I know I've donethat
Colby (04:38):
awkward, that's okay.
So that's what I'm saying.
It's like a very awkwardsituation, so what do you do
from there?
How do you get out of that?
Like, you work with this person, so you're going to see this
person.
You might be on a 12 hour shiftwith this person.
It might be back to back shifts.
Christopher (04:52):
I moved units.
Colby (04:53):
Oh shoot.
Well, if it's that bad, that'swhat you got to do.
That's a good thing.
I mean that's a, that's ahardship, but I mean if it was
not going to work out, then itwasn't going to work out.
Christopher (05:08):
Well, it was one of those things where it's like
you try, and then friendship wasperceived in a different way
and it just, you know, like it'sjust you have to.
There's a whole balance and Idid not balance it at all.
Colby (05:20):
Yeah, it's hard, I mean OK, so it's like a learning,
it's a learning opportunity,right?
Yeah, it's hard, I mean OK, soit's like a learning, it's a
learning opportunity, right?
Like sometimes you have to gothrough something in order to
know, like, ok, that doesn'twork for me, and then I need to
learn how to manage arelationship, whether it's
platonic or whatever.
But you don't know until you gothrough it and then kind of get
(05:43):
forced to deal with thesituation.
So you moved units, what that'san extreme.
That was an extreme way to goabout it.
Christopher (05:53):
And I'm thriving.
Colby (05:54):
And you are thriving.
So it's like it wasn't.
It was the right decision foryou.
Christopher (05:59):
Right.
Colby (06:00):
I think for some other options.
Some other options you can haveis, I mean, we talk about this
a lot but like unfortunately,like when, if you're not willing
to move to another unit, youreally like where you work and
it's just this one person likecrucial conversations is so
necessary.
Christopher (06:20):
Yeah,
Colby (06:20):
because like you need you need to set a boundary.
You need to, I mean, and asuncomfortable as it is if you're
not going to change your unit.
Yeah, that's also true.
(06:41):
I will be nice to them at workand cordial or whatever, but
like I'm going to avoid themoutside of work, yeah
Christopher (06:46):
Well, and I mean unfortunately, even something as
simple as I we had.
There was a group of us thatstarted on the unit that we
started that I started on and weall would hang out.
You know, it was fun, we had agreat time while we were working
no-transcript, and so they wentto a different specialty and
(07:29):
you, just like you said, youdon't see them as much.
You start to build friendshipswith other people and then that
time is kind of taken up andthen it's like
Colby (07:39):
yeah, it's kind of like in the same sentiment, that like
people who don't work in healthcare or don't, you don't work
with them and you're like yourfriendships outside of the
hospital, like the culture isdifferent, so they just don't
understand and those friendshipscan sometimes weaken and you
don't, you don't stay asconnected with those people.
It's the same way, like even inthe hospitals, like oh, you're
really tight with someone whenyou're working with them all the
(08:00):
time and then they move toanother unit and you just don't
see them and them all the timeand then they move to another
unit and you just don't see themand like they have the same
schedule issues that you have.
And now, on top of that, youdon't even work in the same unit
, so you're just not seeing eachother.
Um, and it can be difficult.
It's kind of sad, especially ifyou think you were really close
with someone and all of asudden you feel like maybe
you're putting more effort inthe other person is, or they
(08:21):
feel this, you know, or viceversa yeah, and it's, it's.
Christopher (08:25):
I mean, roman was such a little puppy like I
needed.
I needed friends.
I yeah and I was one, andthere's a friend that would
would tell you.
I was like, I'm not here tomake friends, and I was.
It's true I wasn't, but once Igot roman, I was like oh, I need
help.
I need a little help.
Yeah, um, and Roman wassocialized so much because of it
(08:48):
.
Yeah, I mean, he, homeboy, wentto a different state
Colby (08:54):
oh really
Christopher (08:55):
Multiple states away.
You know, he was able to besocialized, he was able to get
in a car and be fine.
You know, there was things thatI appreciated and this was the
person I actually told that Iwasn't here to make friends with
and you know like she wasreally very, very helpful.
(09:16):
But now she's in a she'soutpatient and like I don't see
her as often we text but't seeher.
as often we text, but it's likeonce every six months, you know
and it's really sad because Idon't have any ill will on her,
but we just don't have the timefor each other anymore.
Colby (09:35):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's the reality of life.
But I do think that we see itmaybe I would say, like more
frequently in health care andagain it kind of comes down to
like we work these long shiftsso we get to know each other.
Like it gets like it gets alittle crazy at the nurse's
station.
Sometimes all of a suddenyou're sharing all your past
trauma and current trauma, likeeveryone's giggling and sorry, I
(10:00):
don't have any trauma.
We do overshare at the nurse'sstation and it does get like
funny and you do get reallyclose with people.
But then and I wish I couldremember where I was originally
going with this but I will saythis other avenue that I just
went down while we're talkingabout, like the hardships of
having such close friends Likeat some point you might feel
(10:23):
like you've overshared.
Christopher (10:27):
Yeah, there are definitely times where
Colby (10:29):
and then you're uncomfortable with what
everybody knows about you yeah,you gotta have to have, you have
like while they're your friends.
You have to also remember likeyou are in your working
environment and there needs tobe some level of professionalism
and just remember like there'sa line at work and like there's
some things you can discuss withthose same people outside of
(10:51):
those doors.
Yeah, and there's some thingsthat shouldn't be discussed, and
everybody needs the reminder,sometimes including myself.
Christopher (10:59):
And there's that line and it's very hard because
Colby (11:02):
it's hard because they're the same people that you hang
out with outside of work.
It's blurry, it's not black andwhite, it's very gray
Christopher (11:08):
it is very gray and you might be doing a little
extra outside of work.
That you will have to remembercould be said at work because of
you like drinking too much andyou did something crazy and you
know like
Colby (11:24):
it's all the realities of friendships that you have to
like kind of just keep in theback of your head, like this
doesn't stop with just yourfriendship.
Like you also work with thesepeople.
So like let's, and like this isall this is just like general
advice for anybody, but like ifyou're acting a fool out in
public with a group of people,like that's questionable
behavior.
(11:45):
Whatever, let's say you drinktoo much, you get into an
altercation with a friend rightit doesn't end well, like okay,
now you have the extra layer ofseeing that person later in the
week at work, like you just haveto be.
It's like life lessons 101.
You have to be so careful withwhat you say, what you do with
(12:08):
any relationship, but then alsojust be prepared, like if you're
going to maintain like closefriendships at work, that that's
also another layer to it thatyou're going to have to address.
Christopher (12:18):
Right, yeah, and that's.
And honestly, that was thereason why I was like I'm not
here to make friends.
Colby (12:26):
I was like I think it's a really bold statement, but and
and I I'm saying that as someonewho has flexed in and out of
that state of mind as well okay,I would say and we have
mentioned it maybe in a fewpodcasts ago, when we talked
about, like, how close you getwith your coworkers briefly, I
(12:46):
don't remember what episode thatwas, but like we were way too
involved in each other's livesat one point, oh yeah, loved
(13:06):
them dearly, but we it did cometo a head like a group of a
group of people.
It wasn't like just myselfinvolved, it was like a group of
people that kind of likeimploded just because we were
just way too involved, knew toomuch about each other.
It was like work home, workhome, like just with these
people all the time.
And I I, when I left that jobat that time it was very toxic,
(13:34):
very not a good pattern going on, and I left at a good time, and
when I did, that's when thingsimploded.
But what ended up happening?
Like some of those people leftthe job, I came back when and
when I left, I was traveling.
So I was just like, as a travelnurse, I feel like it's really
easy to kind of just stay on theoutskirts and like be very,
(13:55):
like casual at work.
But when I decided to come backto that job that I left, I was
like I will maintainrelationships with the people I
was friends with before I camehere, but I am not here to make
friends.
So I'm not trying to hang outwith people after work, I'm not
trying to get to know people,I'm just here to do my job and
(14:16):
be really good at it and I thinkthat's fine.
I think that's fine for anybodyif that's the type of mindset
that they have and I think,honestly, it's pretty healthy.
I think I think we get reallyeasily trapped in the oh, it's
more than work.
They're my family and that'sagain because we spend so much
time with everybody.
But I do think that it can leadto toxic tendencies, like you
(14:40):
giving more of your time to thehospital than you need to.
Yeah, I think because you get inthat mentality that you don't
want to let your family down youknow you don't want to let your
friends down, you don't want tolet your family down, and I
think you know it blurs theboundary lines of what.
Yeah, christopher's nodding hishead right now but it really
does.
It blurs the boundary lines of,like your self-care like what
(15:04):
you need to do to be taking careof yourself, and I think it's
really important to be consciousof that.
Christopher (15:11):
Yeah, and I think that's one reason why I tell
Clin1s to not pick up a shiftfor the first like six to 12
months.
It's because people will belike we're short, we're short,
don't you want to pick up?
Colby (15:26):
And that extra money is so tantalizing.
Christopher (15:28):
Yeah, you get extra pay, you get that extra bonus,
like it's all this stuff.
And I mean there are some thattruly appreciate someone who
picks up.
There are others that are justlazy and will end up putting a
lot of work on you because youpicked up.
I guess you know trying tofigure that out is important,
(15:50):
but I also think it's just veryhard because transplant has been
known as transplant tribe.
The reason why we callourselves a tribe is because
we're closer than a family,because if you're born, you're
just born into it.
But as a tribe you get a choiceto be accepted and to accept
(16:12):
the people and the philosophy ofthat tribe.
Okay, but it still is.
It can get toxic yeah, it'svery careful.
Colby (16:20):
It's a very hard balance and you have to be very careful.
I think using the word tribemight be more healthy than using
the word family, but I thinkyou just have to be very careful
with that as well yeah, yeah,you had mentioned, um, like kind
of getting stuck in that regimeof work home, work, home, and
(16:47):
it's the same people.
Christopher (16:48):
y'all were still doing all the things, y'all
practically lived the same life.
Do you think it's because ofthe amount of people?
Or do you think, for example,and the reason why I'm saying
that you and I we hang out quitea bit and then we have two
other people that are in, likeour little close-knit group?
Now, granted, you don't workwith the three of us.
Colby (17:13):
Right.
Christopher (17:13):
But I work with the two of them.
Do you think it's because andwe do, well, I feel like we joke
around?
I think we also haveestablished pretty decent
boundaries within the actualworkplace that
Colby (17:26):
that's what I was gonna say.
Not to like derail your thoughtprocess.
But I was gonna say I think Ithink also you and I come into
it with a very, not to say thatthey don't, because I think they
.
I think in order forfriendships now at this point in
our lives need to work, we allhave to come into it with a
maturity that I personallydidn't have at a younger age.
But I think we also have otherthings going on in our lives
(17:50):
outside of work and thosefriendships where, at the point
in my life where I was talkingabout this, this group of
friends that ended up imploding,we didn't really have much else
going on in our lives besideswork and like what our friend
group was doing yeah Iappreciate, like our like
foursome, that when we hang outbecause like we don't spend like
(18:14):
all of our free time together,Like when we hang out, it's like
we hang out like a couple oftimes a month and it's always
fun and but we also we come tothe table and we like share what
we've been doing and we allcome from like kind of we have
similar interests obviouslyotherwise you wouldn't be
friends but we all also havedifferent interests.
So like we're catching up onlike what so-and-so is doing,
what you were doing, what I wasdoing.
(18:34):
I think it's just like adifferent, it's like just a more
mature friendship than I'veever experienced, I think with
work friendships at least Ithink you know, and I have other
groups, I have other friends.
Christopher (18:45):
I don't.
Colby (18:47):
Shut up.
I have other friends where it'sjust like I feel like different
friends and friend groupsfulfill different needs.
So, like I also have, there'slike a group of girls that I've
been friends with for a whilewho, you know, we, I don't know,
I don't know how to explainthis, but like girlfriends, are
more than just like guy andgirlfriends.
I guess, I don't know, theladies will know what I'm
(19:08):
talking about.
But
Christopher (19:09):
Because I don't.
Colby (19:11):
I feel like different friend groups serve different
purposes for me personally.
Christopher (19:24):
Well, that's why you have different friend groups
.
Colby (19:25):
Right
Christopher (19:25):
is to serve different purposes,
Colby (19:26):
right, right and so and like they all are still mostly
around work, but I just feel, Ijust feel like I come, come to
them with in at a more maturelevel now and then I just I have
other things going in my, goingon in my life and I think it's
important not to lose those,lose your hobby or like a sport
that you like to do or likewhatever.
I just think it's important toalso be a friend to yourself and
not let yourself get consumedin others and in other
(19:47):
relationships
Christopher (19:48):
as an introvert, I do that very well
Colby (19:50):
yeah, you know yeah like I love being alone.
Christopher (19:55):
Right,
Colby (19:57):
one of my favorite things is be alone
Christopher (19:59):
stay away from me.
That's funny.
It's interesting because now,now that you like, can you
remember any of your collegefriends or, um, maybe even high
school friends that you werelike I'm gonna going to stay
connected with?
And maybe you did even throughnursing school and then, once
(20:20):
you became a nurse, it kind oflike just yeah, actually.
Colby (20:23):
So like high school, I still have like my two very best
friends that we stay in touchand we talk like every couple of
days in a group chat and then.
But there's a ton of peoplethat I was friends with in high
school that I like trickled outwhile I was in college and then
it's actually pretty crazy, Iwas, I had a lot of friends in
college and I would say that Iwas very close to and like if
(20:46):
they text me right now and waslike hey, I'm gonna be in town,
would love to see you, I wouldlove to get together with them.
But like I it's wild how I,even though I spent four years
with these girls and we livetogether I knew everything about
them.
I couldn't tell you much aboutthem right now, after I like
when I moved I mean we all moved, but like I moved and it's
(21:08):
actually really sad and then thepandemic happened.
So it's like that was reallycrazy.
It was really hard to keep intouch with people and, yeah, I
would say like mostly my friendsright now are the ones that I
made in my adult life at work.
And then I still have like mytwo best friends that I went to
high school with, that I'm stillclose with and I keep connected
(21:28):
to.
Christopher (21:32):
I mean I definitely had some friends in college,
but like there are definitely,like I still I wish I and I
haven't done it in a while and Ireally need to and I had a
friend that I would, I wouldliterally handwrite a letter to
and that's how we would stay incontact and we would text each
other and be like, hey, be youknow, be on the lookout for a
(21:52):
letter.
But unfortunately that persongot married, married has a baby
now, and you know like thingshappen and I'm like I and they
are not near us, like in thenear four or five states next to
us yeah and so writing theletter.
I would definitely do it again,but that person doesn't have
(22:13):
time yeah, you know yeah, andjust being conscious of other
people's time is important.
I in in my mind.
I like I never want to makethem feel obligated that they
have to stay in contact and be afriend for me.
Colby (22:28):
Yeah, but I totally get that as well, right and that
goes back to me saying like,sometimes you feel like you were
putting in more effort than theother person.
Is not not to say that thatperson wasn't putting an effort,
but you also don't want to makethem feel like they need to put
in effort when they don't havethe time right so it's kind of
like two, two different things,but it's very similar and, yeah,
I think that's totally fair
Christopher (22:50):
do you think that the like health care troubles
for like having to still do ashift after you had somebody
code and passed away, or thelack of staff and being spit at
and thrown at and all thesethings Do you think those
(23:13):
troubles also hinder friendships, like outside of the health
care, like?
Colby (23:21):
yeah, well, like friendships outside of someone
else who also works in healthcare for sure I mean people
don't understand the trauma thatwe go through every day and
like I tell people and I tellyou know friends, and like
they're just looking at you withtheir jaw on the floor and they
can't comprehend.
And it's like sometimes you feellike when you're trying to
maintain relationships withpeople outside of health care,
(23:42):
and you you're just like, youjust don't get it, like I yeah,
yeah, like you just like, yeah,like you can tell them, and like
they'll laugh and giggle, butlike they'll never understand no
on the level as someone elsewho did it with you right, or
has done it in the past.
Yeah, like they'll neverunderstand on the level as
someone else who did it with youor has done it in the past.
Like they just they won't andthat's good, you know, you don't
, you don't want them to.
(24:04):
Honestly, my little cousingraduated high school last year
and he had gotten into thenursing program and I was like
so happy and excited but at thesame time I was like I don't
want him to have to go throughthis.
So happy and excited, but atthe same time I was like I don't
want him to have to go throughthis.
And so when he told us thisyear, like the second semester,
that he was switching his major,I was like honestly, I'm not.
He was like so scared to tell mymy aunt who's?
(24:25):
Also a nurse.
I was like, honestly that's,I'm not even mad, I'm not even
sad, like I'm a little sad, butlike I'm like he made the right
choice, like don't do it, not tosay that all of you listening
who are?
Just graduating and listeningto this for help, but like sorry
that was you'll be fine.
Christopher (24:47):
You'll be fine, you'll be fine.
Yeah, as I, I twitch no, but Ido.
Colby (24:55):
I do think that I think, like, um, like our friends who
just there's some like there'speople cut for the cloth, like
cut from the same cloth and andyou can, it doesn't mean that
you need to be cut from the samecloth to be friends.
But I do think that they justnobody that nobody that does
what we do really understands it.
Like it's fun to tell crazystories and they laugh and
(25:15):
whatever.
That's always like it's a goodtime to entertain.
But like when you have a hardday and you're like trying to
explain, like oh, I had fourpatients this morning discharged
two, got one from the ED, codedanother, then got another
admission right after I codedand sent that person to the ICU.
Thank God they made it.
(25:36):
Then I got another directadmission from home.
I didn't know anything aboutthem.
There was no notes in the chart, the doctor didn't respond to
my page for three hours.
The patient was staring at me,like what are we doing here?
Like that kind of stress, youdon't understand it.
And someone, when you're tryingto like vent to a friend or a
loved one, and they just kind oflike give you a blank look.
They're like oh yeah yeah,
Christopher (25:57):
they gloss over
Colby (25:58):
that's yeah, they gloss over eyes dead behind the eyes
yeah and it's hard to like.
It's hard to have a relation, tomaintain a relationship with
someone and be close withsomeone when they're just, when
they just don't get it.
You can't relate.
Different friend groups servedifferent purposes they do yeah
(26:22):
that's you know, and that'sthat's that I mean.
That's not the friend that youtalk about your work stresses
with.
That's the person that you goshopping with.
Sit on the beach with whatever,what have you?
Christopher (26:34):
so and you had mentioned this a little bit you
know the whole working nightshift and working.
We have a weird schedule forfriends and I, literally and the
whole, we schedule six weeks inlike yeah.
Colby (26:50):
Which sounds like that's a lot of time.
But like I feel like a lot oftime, like scheduling six weeks
in advance is so hard becausethings come up after the
schedule is put out and thenpeople are like, can you come to
this?
And you're like no, I'm working.
Christopher (27:03):
Right.
Colby (27:04):
And they're like well, just get a switch.
It's not that easy.
Christopher (27:07):
It's really not.
Colby (27:08):
Well, can you just ask for the day off?
Christopher (27:10):
No, we had to do that eight weeks ago.
We had to do that eight weeksago.
Colby (27:16):
People don't understand.
It's not like a regular nine tofive where you can just be like
, oh sorry, susan, I'm not goingto be here until like 12
tomorrow.
Like, oh, I'm going to workfrom home for a couple of hours
or I'm going to take a PTO daylater this week.
It's like we don't have like wehave a lot of flexibility in
our job, but that's like takinglike last minute time short of
just calling out job, but that'slike taking like last minute
(27:40):
time short of just calling outwe don't really have that
flexibility, right?
Christopher (27:47):
I mean, people say PTO is prepare the others, but
like we don't, it goes back towe are a tribe, we are a family,
we are co-workers and we don'tlike a good majority of us do
not like letting our team downby calling out if there's
absolutely not a dire emergency.
Colby (28:06):
Yeah.
Christopher (28:07):
Or like you're on your deathbed.
Colby (28:08):
I like to call out seasonally
Christopher (28:10):
oh God.
Colby (28:13):
Once for each season.
They're mental health days.
I never call out when I'm sick,I work sick as a dog.
Christopher (28:19):
I know I heard you.
Colby (28:21):
Also, if you guys listen to the blooper episode, it's
embarrassing how many shotsthere are of me being like
sniffing my nose, coughing,sounding like I have no voice.
I was so sick this winter.
I worked all of those shifts.
I worked them all.
Put a mask on and I toughed itout,
Christopher (28:38):
and then she tried to get me sick by sitting right
next to me.
Colby (28:40):
I wore a mask.
Christopher (28:41):
Oh, you did.
Yeah, you're right.
And I didn't get sick.
Colby (28:45):
So masks work.
Christopher (28:46):
With my two white blood cells,
Colby (28:47):
all you anti-maskers yeah .
Christopher (28:50):
And now the segment break hey, hey, hey.
So now it's time for ScrubHacks, which we have done before
.
In this segment, we'll sharequick tips, tricks and little
shortcuts that make the life inscrubs a little bit easier.
From time-solving tools to waysto stay organized during the
craziest shifts, these are thehacks that help keep us going.
(29:11):
Let's dive in and find a fewways to make your day run a
little smoother.
Colby (29:16):
All right, the scrub hack .
Today's scrub hack is forremembering names.
On the subject of friendship,when we're making new friends,
we're meeting new people at thehospital.
How are you remembering names?
What's your hack?
Christopher (29:28):
My hack is very simple.
I put their name in a notes appand I usually put something
that I Immediately.
Well, no, not no.
Colby (29:42):
I I was like that's kind of rude, you're like what's your
name?
got it
Christopher (29:45):
with the sound still on yeah, yeah, looking at
the keyboard but then I usuallyput something they said that
kind of like I would remember,for example, when I, when I was
at our old apartment, the reasonwhy I learned a lot of their
names was because I would belike, oh, has this person's dog.
Colby (30:08):
Honestly.
Okay, let me just say this.
I'm impressed that you rememberthe name at the end of the
conversation.
Christopher (30:17):
Well, I'm literally saying it over, and that's the
thing.
Colby (30:19):
That's another thing you're doing.
Christopher (30:20):
You're saying it over and over in my head,
probably not paying attention towhat they're trying to say
Colby (30:25):
Because you're trying to remember their name, which,
honestly, will go a lot furtherwith someone if you remember
their name rather than listeningto what they said.
See me.
On the other hand, I'm terribleat this game.
Used to be great, used toremember, I think I.
Just my ADHD has gotten so muchworse.
People will introducethemselves to me and immediately
(30:46):
I realized I did not know whattheir name is Like.
They'll be like my name is andit's like blah, blah, blah, blah
, blah, like Charlie.
BrownAnd I'm like then I start, then
I'm listening to what they'resaying, but I already know that
I don't remember their name.
So then I start like panickingI don't know their name.
Like I just met one of our new,a new neighbor recently.
Out on the street I was walkingtrout, and she came up to me
(31:07):
and I know I think she said hername was Lillian, but I think
that I could have made that up Iknow her dog's name, juju.
Oh see, I'll remember a dog'sname every time, let's be honest
.
But when it comes to theirowner,
Christopher (31:20):
how does that make sense?
Colby (31:21):
I don't, it doesn't
Christopher (31:22):
Okay,
Colby (31:22):
because I see the dog and I'm like dog
Christopher (31:24):
Juju.
Colby (31:25):
Juju, so when I am more conscious of this.
Like she caught me off guard onthe street so I was like, oh,
oh, yeah, I am that person, butat work I try and say their name
back to them.
Christopher (31:41):
Like.
Colby (31:41):
I'll be like hi, I'm Colby.
They'll be like hi, I'm Jeff.
Jeff, it's so nice to meet you.
Then I keep it in my brain orI'm like they're telling me
something and at the end oftheir sentence I say their their
name, Like I'll be like OK,samantha, that sounds good.
I'll call you back in 15minutes.
Or they'll say hi, this is Ren,hi, ren, this is I'm Colby.
I'm calling from.
So I just do like so hard tosay their name back, because if
(32:03):
I said it back to them, thenthat's when it sticks in my head
.
But if I don't say it back,it's gone.
Poof, Like a little magic dust,like poof gone.
Christopher (32:13):
I've been told that if you say it three times in
the conversation, it's supposedto be able to, like, really
cement it.
Colby (32:19):
I'm going to take that away with me.
I'm going to put that in mypocket.
Christopher (32:22):
Yeah.
Colby (32:22):
Because maybe I need to say it three times.
Christopher (32:24):
Yeah, that's what I've been told so usually, and
if you say it in the actualconversation, it's better than
you just saying it in your head.
Colby (32:30):
Yeah, I've gotten to conscious about not remembering
people's names that I really amtrying so much harder to
remember people's names.
Yeah, so this was a lot ofpressure, this segment break.
I'm like what am I doing?
I don't never.
Christopher (32:47):
Well, if you have a tip to remember people's names
let us know.
Colby (32:52):
Let us know because I need all the help I can get.
Christopher (32:54):
Yeah, I mean I'm meeting people left and right.
Colby (32:57):
Unfortunately, I am as well.
Christopher (32:58):
Yeah.
Colby (32:59):
Fortunately I mean Fortunately I am meeting people
left and right.
Christopher (33:06):
Left and right.
So we said that we would endthis on a positive note.
So how does working as a nursebuild friendships?
Colby (33:16):
I'm sorry, but if you can't be friends with someone
when you're like there's thatlike classic nursing meme where
it was like something about likewiping butt cheeks together, I
wish I could remember becauseit's funny but it's like obvious
, like there's no, like you aregonna have some of the funniest,
like craziest stories if you'renot friends with the people
(33:40):
that you work with.
It's impossible, honestly, likethey're, you're gonna be, you're
gonna have friends or you'regonna have people that you work
with that you're not very closewith, but like it's impossible
to not make at least a couple offriends because we go through
so much together on top ofeverything we just said it could
be.
Going through all this stufftogether can be a negative
experience, but then you canalso take away some positives
(34:01):
and like have some lifelongfriendships.
One of my very best friends inlife was someone I met at this
job, and one of them isChristopher, another one she is
like I'm like part of her familyand I didn't know her from Adam
until we started workingtogether by happenstance back in
2017.
You and the same sentiment ofme saying you spend 12 hours
(34:25):
with these people at work likeit can become toxic.
It can also become somethingreally, really beautiful.
Christopher (34:31):
Yeah, it really can .
Yeah, and there's some that,like there's one of our friends
that I have introduced to myfamily and to my best friend we
went to a baseball game togetherand I mean it's really it's
because we we share, we sharethe same trauma, we are very
similar and that's the thing youjust like.
(34:52):
Just like you spend times withyour, your, your patients, you,
you really you're spending thatmoment and you're getting to
know that person.
And I mean things happen,especially if you are working
consistently, like Tuesday,wednesday, thursday, or if
there's some places that havelike a weekend program.
You're working Friday, saturday, sunday, saturday, sunday,
(35:14):
monday.
You know, like those daysyou're like you're toughing it
out and it's you and your crew.
Colby (35:21):
Yeah, it's you and your crew.
It really is and, like on mostdays, I wouldn't have it any
other way.
I know that I think people whostay in jobs, in the same job
for a long time, it's becausethe people that they work with
yeah.
And like you know what you'rewalking into every day and you
(35:43):
know it might be crazy and itmight be the day from hell, but
the crew that you're workingwith you're like you look at
your assignment sheet and you'relike, oh yeah, we're gonna be
fine.
Like hell, yeah, it's gonna bea good day.
Even if it's the worst day,it's gonna be a good day,
because you're like, all right,they got my back, I got their
back.
Like we're gonna giggle aboutthis.
When someone poops on the floorLike we're going to which
(36:05):
happens more often than youthink Like I'm going to support
this person.
If you know, we have to codesomeone.
Like I got this person's back,I'm going to cover their
patients and make sure that theyget off the floor after this so
they can just like decompressand put it back together because
we have to keep rolling.
I know probably too much aboutsome of my co-workers which
(36:28):
we've talked about before, andhow that can be a positive or a
negative, but like sometimes,when you know a lot about
someone like you can kind of youhave a feeling for, like when
they need a second, do they needa friend?
like and the same and the samething goes both ways.
Like your co-workers thatyou've been working with for
years and know you so well thatyou become close with.
Like they know, like I have myfriends at work know that I'm
(36:52):
terrible.
We talk about this all time,but you need to take your 30
minute break.
They know I'm so bad about it.
Like they'll come up and belike did you have a snack?
Like can I sit here and andtake the the charge phone so you
can go get some food?
Like just get off the unit.
Like that is.
That's like love, you know.
Like that really is love andcaring.
And it's so beautiful when,when you have these good,
positive working relationshipsand friendships outside of work.
(37:14):
Like like tonight I got homefrom work and I called one of my
friends on my walk with my dogand I was just like hey, I just
need to like decompress realquick and do a debrief on my day
.
And she was like hit me, likewhat happened?
And I like told her everything.
It was amazing.
But that's a friend that is inworks in healthcare, she's a
nurse, she gets it, she canunderstand.
(37:37):
Whereas, like if I called oneof my friends from high school
who I love dearly.
They'd be like Whoa, that'scrazy, but like I wouldn't get
the same satisfaction out oftelling them as I, as I do
telling a friend who's been inthe trenches with me
Christopher (37:53):
Right.
There's something about sharedtrauma,
Colby (37:55):
even though that's really bad, but it's, it's legit
Christopher (37:58):
it is yeah, and because the reason why it's
legit is because you got throughit somehow, or you help
somebody get through it, or youknow you're noticing somebody
needs to get through it and youyou have the tools and the the
empathy to actually help themthrough it like yeah it's
(38:18):
important.
I do want to say and I, I'm, I'mgonna pop in the negative real
quick and then hop in thepositive what changes within
your friend group in nursinghappened when you went into the
charge nurse role.
Colby (38:41):
Oh, like was there a dynamic change in the friendship
group.
Christopher (38:47):
Oh, like, like was there a dynamic change in the
friendship group, because it notin not in ours, yeah, but in
the unit, in particular when Istepped into my role oh yeah,
there it changed interesting.
Colby (38:56):
Yeah, um, okay, I'm glad you brought it up.
I really don't feel like therewas a change for me personally
but I also stepped into the rolewith already kind of having
like a leadership kind of styleat work without being in charge,
and with that I I think I oftenhad a lot of year, more years
(39:20):
of experience, so people wouldcome to me and ask me questions
anyways.
So then when I was officiallyin the charge position, it just
was kind of a naturalprogression as far as work and I
personally and this could be mecompletely having blinders on
but I didn't notice like a shiftin the dynamic of friendships,
honestly.
But I also I'm like I'm sotransparently, like I'm so
(39:47):
transparently what's the wordI'm looking for?
Even not even um, fair, I guessI like, and someone has a
complaint about something?
Like they can.
All they can complain is that Idid it fairly.
Like with assignment making likesomeone wants to complain about
, and I've had people come up tome and been like this is not.
Like a lot of times theassignment issues that I have
(40:08):
are with the techs.
And then I explain what I didand they're like, oh OK, like
I'm really making it fair, Likesometimes they're like, oh, I
have a patient in the front andin it's literally every single
one of them is a total care.
That's why you have a patienton the other side of the unit.
And then they're like, oh, okay.
(40:29):
So I think situations like that, if anything, I am so
transparent, I am so fair thatas far as me being in charge, I
don't really feel like there wasa change.
But then also, at the same timethat I started being in charge,
some of my friends were alsogetting like getting put into
(40:51):
training, into being in charge,like I definitely was the first
one, but then they were likepretty soon following me.
So I feel like maybe that's whyI didn't see like a big change
in the dynamic, because while Iwas doing charge when I was
working, they were doing itwhile they were working um,
Christopher (41:06):
yeah, no, I mean it's just interesting because
Colby (41:09):
what was your experience I?
Christopher (41:10):
mean it wasn't like drastic, but you can just tell
some people like to toe the lineto see if I'm gonna be a friend
or and we joke about it all thetime they're like, is this ANM
Christopher's hat or is thisfriend Christopher's hat?
Colby (41:26):
You know that's a difficult, it is difficult, it's
a difficult line.
Christopher (41:31):
And there are times where I'm like friend
Christopher's is going to belike nah, you can't do that.
Yeah.
And then ANM's going to be likebut you got to and I've said
that too.
Colby (41:43):
Yeah.
Christopher (41:43):
Because there are.
I do remember when I was on thefloor and I didn't want to do
things, that was said.
But you've got to do it.
Colby (41:55):
Yeah, I mean ultimately it's like that's your job.
Christopher (42:00):
Yeah.
Colby (42:01):
Ultimately, that's your job.
Christopher (42:02):
And other duties as assigned, but
Colby (42:11):
that clause gets me every time.
Christopher (42:12):
I mean, I just I just looked at it the today and
I was like that's a good one,but yeah, so I I wanted to talk
about this in the last episodeand we didn't get to.
Okay, give, let's give thelisteners a brief synopsis of
how we became friends
Colby (42:30):
well, we worked together, which we've touched on already
yeah and christopher well, Idon't want to be friends with
anybody didn't want to befriends with anybody, anybody,
and our units became one yep andI would say we, we started
being friends.
But it was pretty casual.
Um, we, we.
(42:52):
I forced him to be my friendbecause I was like I really like
this guy and I want him to bemy friend, and so we were at it,
we were.
It was an outing outside ofwork at another co-worker's
house and Christopher said Ijust chatted his ear off.
Christopher (43:08):
Oh my God.
Colby (43:09):
He said I wouldn't stop talking.
Christopher (43:11):
Bleeding.
Colby (43:12):
Bleeding!! That's dramatic.
But I can talk.
So that's what happened.
I accosted Christopher with mywords and I would not stop
talking at him because I waslike I want this guy to be my
friend.
I really like him.
He's cool.
And that's what happens when Imeet people that I like.
I just won't shut up becauseI'm like I want you to be my
friend.
Christopher (43:31):
Which is hilarious, because I am so introverted and
I'm like why is this persontalking my ear off?
Colby (43:39):
And then, okay, so like then I, then he moved.
Well then, I think I leftbefore you left, or did you
leave to go to transplant first?
Christopher (43:48):
No, you left first.
Colby (43:49):
Okay, so I left the job first and I went to travel, and
then Christopher went totransplant, and then at some
point I moved in with one of ourfriends and we lived across the
hall from each other, me andChristopher and it was me, one
of our friends, who also workswith us.
Christopher (44:06):
The apartment landing.
Colby (44:08):
Yeah, the apartment landing.
We lived across the hall fromeach other and it was game over
after that, really Like hecouldn't escape me.
So once we figured that out, itwas like what are you doing?
What you doing?
Are you off?
You want to come hang out?
I threw a christmas party.
This one really broke my heart,guys I threw a christmas party,
(44:28):
and christopher is vegan, and soI made vegan food oh boy and
then last minute christopherdidn't come, okay, and that
broke my heart, but I didn'ttell him that until recently.
How much that actually hurt myfeelings yeah, I felt really bad
I made him um vegan blondiesand then I brought them to him
and he ate them all and they hadespresso dark chocolate.
Christopher (44:49):
They were so good, they were so good.
Colby (44:52):
I I have this bad issue of if it's in front of me, I'm
gonna eat it he ate the wholepan and I was like, yeah,
imagine how good they would havebeen warm yesterday at my
christmas party
Christopher (45:02):
she tried to play on the guilt and I just was like
they're still good, it doesn'tmatter.
Colby (45:06):
Yeah, not knowing that I was heartbroken, I was like I
went and I bought all this veganfood for Christopher and he
didn't even come to my party,but I didn't let that get me
down.
Christopher (45:20):
I persevered.
Okay, I appreciate that, andnow he's one of my very best
friends.
Colby (45:24):
yes, yes and now we have this podcast together.
We're raising two dogs together.
Together but separate
Christopher (45:36):
yes, together BUT separate.
We need to emphasize
Colby (45:40):
he always got uncomfortable because him and
our other friend, or sorry meand our other friend, sorry me
and our other friend we wouldalways say, yeah, we live with
Christopher.
He'd be like, no, we don't livetogether.
We're like, yeah, we livetogether, we have the same
apartment, All three of us livetogether.
We're roommates actually.
And he'd be like we don't livetogether.
He'd be like stop saying thatto people.
Christopher (46:00):
You know, I have to make sure my game stays strong
people.
Colby (46:05):
You know I have to make sure my game stays strong.
We were definitely blocking um,and now we just moved to the
same apartment complex again.
We don't live across the hallfrom each other anymore.
We live a few buildings away,but it does not stop me
it's officially like.
It was one of those things whereI I was like, well, I I was
okay with where I was, but Colbywas like I'm leaving.
(46:25):
And I was like, yeah, I thinkI'm going to leave too.
She was like, well, where areyou going to go?
And I'm like, because, he had to move first.
His lease was up.
And I was like where are yougoing?
Christopher (46:33):
I'm like I don't have enough time to figure it
out.
So you figure out where you'regoing and I will follow you.
And so essentially that's whatshe found this apartment complex
I did.
I then applied and moved in,and then she moved in a couple
of months after.
Colby (46:49):
Yeah, I did all the heavy lifting on that one, but that's
okay.
Christopher (46:53):
Which.
I appreciate.
I did come to the tour with thisparticular one.
Colby (46:58):
I did make him come tour with me.
We drove to another one andkind of creeped around.
Christopher (47:02):
We had tour questions and everything.
Colby (47:04):
We did.
We had a notes app we reviewedin the car before we went in.
We were very serious about itand we fell in love with this
one immediately.
But we've now gotten multiplefriends and coworkers to move
into this apartment complex, sowe are just we're starting a
cult.
Christopher (47:18):
Yeah.
Colby (47:19):
Welcome to our cult.
Christopher (47:20):
Hello, can you imagine the documentary we would
have?
Colby (47:27):
But yeah, I think it's so fun getting to live and work
with you.
It's so fun,
it is it really is.
I feel the same way with you.
I'm like, yeah, it is fun towork with me.
What are you talking?
about.
But it's been helpful toobecause, like we both have dogs
(47:52):
and our dogs are friends, yeah.
They're brothers.
Christopher (47:56):
I mean practically.
Colby (47:58):
Not really, but they were raised that way.
Christopher (47:59):
Yeah, which is wild that way, yeah, which is wild.
And, um you know, occasionallyif I'm like working late, you're
able to pick up and like yeahcome, she has a key to my place.
Yeah, so that I do I don't haveto worry about it because,
homeboy, I've got to lock myselfout yeah, no worries, I got you
.
Colby (48:18):
Um, yeah, I mean your dad locked himself out and I ran
over with the extra key.
Christopher (48:23):
Right right.
Colby (48:24):
You know it's all good things and and, yeah, and
Christopher takes Trout out forme and and we just we have this
like great symbioticrelationship.
It's amazing.
Christopher (48:34):
Yeah, it's really good.
Colby (48:35):
Yeah.
Christopher (48:36):
I roast her about certain things.
She roasts me about working toomuch.
Colby (48:44):
There's a lot to roast right now.
Wait till the next episode.
Christopher (48:48):
Yes, I'm so excited .
This was already planned, sothis is like destined to happen.
Colby (48:56):
All right, anything else to add on?
friendship.
Christopher (49:01):
No, I think we're good.
Colby (49:03):
Amazing, All right class dismissed.
That's a wrap for today'ssession of Nursing Lyfe 101.
We hope you found some usefultakeaways to bring back to the
floor.
Remember, nursing is a lifelonglearning journey and we're here
with you.
Christopher (49:15):
If you want to connect, find us on Twitter at
NurseLyfe101, or on Facebook atNursingLyfe101.
And don't forget to subscribeand share with fellow nurses.
Until next time, take care ofyourselves and keep making a
difference out there.
Welcome to Nursing Lyfe 101, the most important
nursing class you never got totake in nursing school.
We will be traversing differentobjectives, like interviewing,
what to do in nursing school,boundaries, burnout and so much
more.
If this interests you, I hopeyou are taking good notes
because class is now in session.
(00:46):
Hello, and welcome to NursingLyfe 101! We're so excited to
have you here with us as we diveinto the world of nursing,
sharing our experiences,insights and a little bit of fun
along the way.
I'm Christopher and I couldn'tbe happier to introduce my
co-host.
Colby (00:59):
Hey guys, it's Colby.
Together, we'll be bringing youreal stories, practical tips
and discussions about all thingsnursing, whether you're a
fellow nurse or just curiousabout the life behind scrubs.
We're thrilled to have you joinus.
Christopher (01:09):
Colby, I hate you.
No, I was joking, I'm joking,I'm joking, I'm joking.
So, as you probably can tell,both Colby and I are pretty
decent friends, decent you knowI can say I hate her and she
doesn't punch me in the face,which is good.
Colby (01:28):
No, I just almost cried,
Christopher (01:30):
but this episode is about friendships and how
nursing can foster greatfriendships and then also how
they can hurt some friendships.
We want to start with the badfirst, and then we'll get to the
good part we We'll end on apositive.
Yeah, it's always the goodstuff.
So working 12-hour shifts, howdoes that hurt a friendship?
Colby (01:54):
Well, I mean, as one can probably deduce, when you're
spending so much time together,that can either be a positive or
negative, and I think sometimesyou find it turns out to be a
negative.
Christopher (02:08):
Yeah, there's some.
I literally and I say it toeverybody, but I'm like that
30-minute lunch break.
I don't want to see you.
Please don't come to see me, Idon't need to see you Take the
lunch break.
But also, like we're thinkingspecifically like nursing and
the people that we work with,but it also hurts those that are
(02:30):
not nurses.
Has that happened to you?
Like any of the people that arelike outside of nursing been
less friendly because you workso long?
Colby (02:42):
Yeah, I do.
I do agree.
I think it's really hard forpeople that don't work in our
same environment that tounderstand where we're coming
from.
You know, I think, and thathappens with.
I mean, this is a podcastepisode about friendships, but
it also happens with familiesLike if you think like like I
have friends who have familiesthat are locally and they don't
understand, like why afterworking a night shift you can't
(03:04):
come that next day for an event.
So like that same thing withfriends, like, oh, you worked
night shift, you're off todaylike why can't you be here,
right?
and it's like I'm trying tosleep like I, I, I can, I'm
sorry and like sometimes peoplejust don't get the culture
around, around nursing.
If it doesn't match with whatthey know and what they do, then
(03:26):
it just it's hard for them towrap their heads around yeah,
they just don't get it yeah, sowe tend to end up in close
relationships with the peoplethat we work with yeah because
they understand our lifestyle
Christopher (03:39):
but then you have those people that are your like
go-to people in nursing in yourshift.
But even 12 hours with a personcan be tumultuous
Colby (03:53):
yeah, it could be
Christopher (03:55):
um, and you like learn all these things about
this person person and sometimesyou and nurse A in the corner
does not get along and that can.
Really.
You could be thinking one wayand you could have been friends
(04:16):
before, but then you tend to goout and get dinner or go out and
go party and you start to hangout with them a lot more and
then suddenly you're like, nah,this was not the friend I wanted
and I know, I know I've donethat
Colby (04:38):
awkward, that's okay.
So that's what I'm saying.
It's like a very awkwardsituation, so what do you do
from there?
How do you get out of that?
Like, you work with this person, so you're going to see this
person.
You might be on a 12 hour shiftwith this person.
It might be back to back shifts.
Christopher (04:52):
I moved units.
Colby (04:53):
Oh shoot.
Well, if it's that bad, that'swhat you got to do.
That's a good thing.
I mean that's a, that's ahardship, but I mean if it was
not going to work out, then itwasn't going to work out.
Christopher (05:08):
Well, it was one of those things where it's like
you try, and then friendship wasperceived in a different way
and it just, you know, like it'sjust you have to.
There's a whole balance and Idid not balance it at all.
Colby (05:20):
Yeah, it's hard, I mean OK, so it's like a learning,
it's a learning opportunity,right?
Yeah, it's hard, I mean OK, soit's like a learning, it's a
learning opportunity, right?
Like sometimes you have to gothrough something in order to
know, like, ok, that doesn'twork for me, and then I need to
learn how to manage arelationship, whether it's
platonic or whatever.
But you don't know until you gothrough it and then kind of get
(05:43):
forced to deal with thesituation.
So you moved units, what that'san extreme.
That was an extreme way to goabout it.
Christopher (05:53):
And I'm thriving.
Colby (05:54):
And you are thriving.
So it's like it wasn't.
It was the right decision foryou.
Christopher (05:59):
Right.
Colby (06:00):
I think for some other options.
Some other options you can haveis, I mean, we talk about this
a lot but like unfortunately,like when, if you're not willing
to move to another unit, youreally like where you work and
it's just this one person likecrucial conversations is so
necessary.
Christopher (06:20):
Yeah,
Colby (06:20):
because like you need you need to set a boundary.
You need to, I mean, and asuncomfortable as it is if you're
not going to change your unit.
Yeah, that's also true.
(06:41):
I will be nice to them at workand cordial or whatever, but
like I'm going to avoid themoutside of work, yeah
Christopher (06:46):
Well, and I mean unfortunately, even something as
simple as I we had.
There was a group of us thatstarted on the unit that we
started that I started on and weall would hang out.
You know, it was fun, we had agreat time while we were working
no-transcript, and so they wentto a different specialty and
(07:29):
you, just like you said, youdon't see them as much.
You start to build friendshipswith other people and then that
time is kind of taken up andthen it's like
Colby (07:39):
yeah, it's kind of like in the same sentiment, that like
people who don't work in healthcare or don't, you don't work
with them and you're like yourfriendships outside of the
hospital, like the culture isdifferent, so they just don't
understand and those friendshipscan sometimes weaken and you
don't, you don't stay asconnected with those people.
It's the same way, like even inthe hospitals, like oh, you're
really tight with someone whenyou're working with them all the
(08:00):
time and then they move toanother unit and you just don't
see them and them all the timeand then they move to another
unit and you just don't see themand like they have the same
schedule issues that you have.
And now, on top of that, youdon't even work in the same unit
, so you're just not seeing eachother.
Um, and it can be difficult.
It's kind of sad, especially ifyou think you were really close
with someone and all of asudden you feel like maybe
you're putting more effort inthe other person is, or they
(08:21):
feel this, you know, or viceversa yeah, and it's, it's.
Christopher (08:25):
I mean, roman was such a little puppy like I
needed.
I needed friends.
I yeah and I was one, andthere's a friend that would
would tell you.
I was like, I'm not here tomake friends, and I was.
It's true I wasn't, but once Igot roman, I was like oh, I need
help.
I need a little help.
Yeah, um, and Roman wassocialized so much because of it
(08:48):
.
Yeah, I mean, he, homeboy, wentto a different state
Colby (08:54):
oh really
Christopher (08:55):
Multiple states away.
You know, he was able to besocialized, he was able to get
in a car and be fine.
You know, there was things thatI appreciated and this was the
person I actually told that Iwasn't here to make friends with
and you know like she wasreally very, very helpful.
(09:16):
But now she's in a she'soutpatient and like I don't see
her as often we text but't seeher.
as often we text, but it's likeonce every six months, you know
and it's really sad because Idon't have any ill will on her,
but we just don't have the timefor each other anymore.
Colby (09:35):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's the reality of life.
But I do think that we see itmaybe I would say, like more
frequently in health care andagain it kind of comes down to
like we work these long shiftsso we get to know each other.
Like it gets like it gets alittle crazy at the nurse's
station.
Sometimes all of a suddenyou're sharing all your past
trauma and current trauma, likeeveryone's giggling and sorry, I
(10:00):
don't have any trauma.
We do overshare at the nurse'sstation and it does get like
funny and you do get reallyclose with people.
But then and I wish I couldremember where I was originally
going with this but I will saythis other avenue that I just
went down while we're talkingabout, like the hardships of
having such close friends Likeat some point you might feel
(10:23):
like you've overshared.
Christopher (10:27):
Yeah, there are definitely times where
Colby (10:29):
and then you're uncomfortable with what
everybody knows about you yeah,you gotta have to have, you have
like while they're your friends.
You have to also remember likeyou are in your working
environment and there needs tobe some level of professionalism
and just remember like there'sa line at work and like there's
some things you can discuss withthose same people outside of
(10:51):
those doors.
Yeah, and there's some thingsthat shouldn't be discussed, and
everybody needs the reminder,sometimes including myself.
Christopher (10:59):
And there's that line and it's very hard because
Colby (11:02):
it's hard because they're the same people that you hang
out with outside of work.
It's blurry, it's not black andwhite, it's very gray
Christopher (11:08):
it is very gray and you might be doing a little
extra outside of work.
That you will have to remembercould be said at work because of
you like drinking too much andyou did something crazy and you
know like
Colby (11:24):
it's all the realities of friendships that you have to
like kind of just keep in theback of your head, like this
doesn't stop with just yourfriendship.
Like you also work with thesepeople.
So like let's, and like this isall this is just like general
advice for anybody, but like ifyou're acting a fool out in
public with a group of people,like that's questionable
behavior.
(11:45):
Whatever, let's say you drinktoo much, you get into an
altercation with a friend rightit doesn't end well, like okay,
now you have the extra layer ofseeing that person later in the
week at work, like you just haveto be.
It's like life lessons 101.
You have to be so careful withwhat you say, what you do with
(12:08):
any relationship, but then alsojust be prepared, like if you're
going to maintain like closefriendships at work, that that's
also another layer to it thatyou're going to have to address.
Christopher (12:18):
Right, yeah, and that's.
And honestly, that was thereason why I was like I'm not
here to make friends.
Colby (12:26):
I was like I think it's a really bold statement, but and
and I I'm saying that as someonewho has flexed in and out of
that state of mind as well okay,I would say and we have
mentioned it maybe in a fewpodcasts ago, when we talked
about, like, how close you getwith your coworkers briefly, I
(12:46):
don't remember what episode thatwas, but like we were way too
involved in each other's livesat one point, oh yeah, loved
(13:06):
them dearly, but we it did cometo a head like a group of a
group of people.
It wasn't like just myselfinvolved, it was like a group of
people that kind of likeimploded just because we were
just way too involved, knew toomuch about each other.
It was like work home, workhome, like just with these
people all the time.
And I I, when I left that jobat that time it was very toxic,
(13:34):
very not a good pattern going on, and I left at a good time, and
when I did, that's when thingsimploded.
But what ended up happening?
Like some of those people leftthe job, I came back when and
when I left, I was traveling.
So I was just like, as a travelnurse, I feel like it's really
easy to kind of just stay on theoutskirts and like be very,
(13:55):
like casual at work.
But when I decided to come backto that job that I left, I was
like I will maintainrelationships with the people I
was friends with before I camehere, but I am not here to make
friends.
So I'm not trying to hang outwith people after work, I'm not
trying to get to know people,I'm just here to do my job and
(14:16):
be really good at it and I thinkthat's fine.
I think that's fine for anybodyif that's the type of mindset
that they have and I think,honestly, it's pretty healthy.
I think I think we get reallyeasily trapped in the oh, it's
more than work.
They're my family and that'sagain because we spend so much
time with everybody.
But I do think that it can leadto toxic tendencies, like you
(14:40):
giving more of your time to thehospital than you need to.
Yeah, I think because you get inthat mentality that you don't
want to let your family down youknow you don't want to let your
friends down, you don't want tolet your family down, and I
think you know it blurs theboundary lines of what.
Yeah, christopher's nodding hishead right now but it really
does.
It blurs the boundary lines of,like your self-care like what
(15:04):
you need to do to be taking careof yourself, and I think it's
really important to be consciousof that.
Christopher (15:11):
Yeah, and I think that's one reason why I tell
Clin1s to not pick up a shiftfor the first like six to 12
months.
It's because people will belike we're short, we're short,
don't you want to pick up?
Colby (15:26):
And that extra money is so tantalizing.
Christopher (15:28):
Yeah, you get extra pay, you get that extra bonus,
like it's all this stuff.
And I mean there are some thattruly appreciate someone who
picks up.
There are others that are justlazy and will end up putting a
lot of work on you because youpicked up.
I guess you know trying tofigure that out is important,
(15:50):
but I also think it's just veryhard because transplant has been
known as transplant tribe.
The reason why we callourselves a tribe is because
we're closer than a family,because if you're born, you're
just born into it.
But as a tribe you get a choiceto be accepted and to accept
(16:12):
the people and the philosophy ofthat tribe.
Okay, but it still is.
It can get toxic yeah, it'svery careful.
Colby (16:20):
It's a very hard balance and you have to be very careful.
I think using the word tribemight be more healthy than using
the word family, but I thinkyou just have to be very careful
with that as well yeah, yeah,you had mentioned, um, like kind
of getting stuck in that regimeof work home, work, home, and
(16:47):
it's the same people.
Christopher (16:48):
y'all were still doing all the things, y'all
practically lived the same life.
Do you think it's because ofthe amount of people?
Or do you think, for example,and the reason why I'm saying
that you and I we hang out quitea bit and then we have two
other people that are in, likeour little close-knit group?
Now, granted, you don't workwith the three of us.
Colby (17:13):
Right.
Christopher (17:13):
But I work with the two of them.
Do you think it's because andwe do, well, I feel like we joke
around?
I think we also haveestablished pretty decent
boundaries within the actualworkplace that
Colby (17:26):
that's what I was gonna say.
Not to like derail your thoughtprocess.
But I was gonna say I think Ithink also you and I come into
it with a very, not to say thatthey don't, because I think they
.
I think in order forfriendships now at this point in
our lives need to work, we allhave to come into it with a
maturity that I personallydidn't have at a younger age.
But I think we also have otherthings going on in our lives
(17:50):
outside of work and thosefriendships where, at the point
in my life where I was talkingabout this, this group of
friends that ended up imploding,we didn't really have much else
going on in our lives besideswork and like what our friend
group was doing yeah Iappreciate, like our like
foursome, that when we hang outbecause like we don't spend like
(18:14):
all of our free time together,Like when we hang out, it's like
we hang out like a couple oftimes a month and it's always
fun and but we also we come tothe table and we like share what
we've been doing and we allcome from like kind of we have
similar interests obviouslyotherwise you wouldn't be
friends but we all also havedifferent interests.
So like we're catching up onlike what so-and-so is doing,
what you were doing, what I wasdoing.
(18:34):
I think it's just like adifferent, it's like just a more
mature friendship than I'veever experienced, I think with
work friendships at least Ithink you know, and I have other
groups, I have other friends.
Christopher (18:45):
I don't.
Colby (18:47):
Shut up.
I have other friends where it'sjust like I feel like different
friends and friend groupsfulfill different needs.
So, like I also have, there'slike a group of girls that I've
been friends with for a whilewho, you know, we, I don't know,
I don't know how to explainthis, but like girlfriends, are
more than just like guy andgirlfriends.
I guess, I don't know, theladies will know what I'm
(19:08):
talking about.
But
Christopher (19:09):
Because I don't.
Colby (19:11):
I feel like different friend groups serve different
purposes for me personally.
Christopher (19:24):
Well, that's why you have different friend groups
.
Colby (19:25):
Right
Christopher (19:25):
is to serve different purposes,
Colby (19:26):
right, right and so and like they all are still mostly
around work, but I just feel, Ijust feel like I come, come to
them with in at a more maturelevel now and then I just I have
other things going in my, goingon in my life and I think it's
important not to lose those,lose your hobby or like a sport
that you like to do or likewhatever.
I just think it's important toalso be a friend to yourself and
not let yourself get consumedin others and in other
(19:47):
relationships
Christopher (19:48):
as an introvert, I do that very well
Colby (19:50):
yeah, you know yeah like I love being alone.
Christopher (19:55):
Right,
Colby (19:57):
one of my favorite things is be alone
Christopher (19:59):
stay away from me.
That's funny.
It's interesting because now,now that you like, can you
remember any of your collegefriends or, um, maybe even high
school friends that you werelike I'm gonna going to stay
connected with?
And maybe you did even throughnursing school and then, once
(20:20):
you became a nurse, it kind oflike just yeah, actually.
Colby (20:23):
So like high school, I still have like my two very best
friends that we stay in touchand we talk like every couple of
days in a group chat and then.
But there's a ton of peoplethat I was friends with in high
school that I like trickled outwhile I was in college and then
it's actually pretty crazy, Iwas, I had a lot of friends in
college and I would say that Iwas very close to and like if
(20:46):
they text me right now and waslike hey, I'm gonna be in town,
would love to see you, I wouldlove to get together with them.
But like I it's wild how I,even though I spent four years
with these girls and we livetogether I knew everything about
them.
I couldn't tell you much aboutthem right now, after I like
when I moved I mean we all moved, but like I moved and it's
(21:08):
actually really sad and then thepandemic happened.
So it's like that was reallycrazy.
It was really hard to keep intouch with people and, yeah, I
would say like mostly my friendsright now are the ones that I
made in my adult life at work.
And then I still have like mytwo best friends that I went to
high school with, that I'm stillclose with and I keep connected
(21:28):
to.
Christopher (21:32):
I mean I definitely had some friends in college,
but like there are definitely,like I still I wish I and I
haven't done it in a while and Ireally need to and I had a
friend that I would, I wouldliterally handwrite a letter to
and that's how we would stay incontact and we would text each
other and be like, hey, be youknow, be on the lookout for a
(21:52):
letter.
But unfortunately that persongot married, married has a baby
now, and you know like thingshappen and I'm like I and they
are not near us, like in thenear four or five states next to
us yeah and so writing theletter.
I would definitely do it again,but that person doesn't have
(22:13):
time yeah, you know yeah, andjust being conscious of other
people's time is important.
I in in my mind.
I like I never want to makethem feel obligated that they
have to stay in contact and be afriend for me.
Colby (22:28):
Yeah, but I totally get that as well, right and that
goes back to me saying like,sometimes you feel like you were
putting in more effort than theother person.
Is not not to say that thatperson wasn't putting an effort,
but you also don't want to makethem feel like they need to put
in effort when they don't havethe time right so it's kind of
like two, two different things,but it's very similar and, yeah,
I think that's totally fair
Christopher (22:50):
do you think that the like health care troubles
for like having to still do ashift after you had somebody
code and passed away, or thelack of staff and being spit at
and thrown at and all thesethings Do you think those
(23:13):
troubles also hinder friendships, like outside of the health
care, like?
Colby (23:21):
yeah, well, like friendships outside of someone
else who also works in healthcare for sure I mean people
don't understand the trauma thatwe go through every day and
like I tell people and I tellyou know friends, and like
they're just looking at you withtheir jaw on the floor and they
can't comprehend.
And it's like sometimes you feellike when you're trying to
maintain relationships withpeople outside of health care,
(23:42):
and you you're just like, youjust don't get it, like I yeah,
yeah, like you just like, yeah,like you can tell them, and like
they'll laugh and giggle, butlike they'll never understand no
on the level as someone elsewho did it with you right, or
has done it in the past.
Yeah, like they'll neverunderstand on the level as
someone else who did it with youor has done it in the past.
Like they just they won't andthat's good, you know, you don't
, you don't want them to.
(24:04):
Honestly, my little cousingraduated high school last year
and he had gotten into thenursing program and I was like
so happy and excited but at thesame time I was like I don't
want him to have to go throughthis.
So happy and excited, but atthe same time I was like I don't
want him to have to go throughthis.
And so when he told us thisyear, like the second semester,
that he was switching his major,I was like honestly, I'm not.
He was like so scared to tell mymy aunt who's?
(24:25):
Also a nurse.
I was like, honestly that's,I'm not even mad, I'm not even
sad, like I'm a little sad, butlike I'm like he made the right
choice, like don't do it, not tosay that all of you listening
who are?
Just graduating and listeningto this for help, but like sorry
that was you'll be fine.
Christopher (24:47):
You'll be fine, you'll be fine.
Yeah, as I, I twitch no, but Ido.
Colby (24:55):
I do think that I think, like, um, like our friends who
just there's some like there'speople cut for the cloth, like
cut from the same cloth and andyou can, it doesn't mean that
you need to be cut from the samecloth to be friends.
But I do think that they justnobody that nobody that does
what we do really understands it.
Like it's fun to tell crazystories and they laugh and
(25:15):
whatever.
That's always like it's a goodtime to entertain.
But like when you have a hardday and you're like trying to
explain, like oh, I had fourpatients this morning discharged
two, got one from the ED, codedanother, then got another
admission right after I codedand sent that person to the ICU.
Thank God they made it.
(25:36):
Then I got another directadmission from home.
I didn't know anything aboutthem.
There was no notes in the chart, the doctor didn't respond to
my page for three hours.
The patient was staring at me,like what are we doing here?
Like that kind of stress, youdon't understand it.
And someone, when you're tryingto like vent to a friend or a
loved one, and they just kind oflike give you a blank look.
They're like oh yeah yeah,
Christopher (25:57):
they gloss over
Colby (25:58):
that's yeah, they gloss over eyes dead behind the eyes
yeah and it's hard to like.
It's hard to have a relation, tomaintain a relationship with
someone and be close withsomeone when they're just, when
they just don't get it.
You can't relate.
Different friend groups servedifferent purposes they do yeah
(26:22):
that's you know, and that'sthat's that I mean.
That's not the friend that youtalk about your work stresses
with.
That's the person that you goshopping with.
Sit on the beach with whatever,what have you?
Christopher (26:34):
so and you had mentioned this a little bit you
know the whole working nightshift and working.
We have a weird schedule forfriends and I, literally and the
whole, we schedule six weeks inlike yeah.
Colby (26:50):
Which sounds like that's a lot of time.
But like I feel like a lot oftime, like scheduling six weeks
in advance is so hard becausethings come up after the
schedule is put out and thenpeople are like, can you come to
this?
And you're like no, I'm working.
Christopher (27:03):
Right.
Colby (27:04):
And they're like well, just get a switch.
It's not that easy.
Christopher (27:07):
It's really not.
Colby (27:08):
Well, can you just ask for the day off?
Christopher (27:10):
No, we had to do that eight weeks ago.
We had to do that eight weeksago.
Colby (27:16):
People don't understand.
It's not like a regular nine tofive where you can just be like
, oh sorry, susan, I'm not goingto be here until like 12
tomorrow.
Like, oh, I'm going to workfrom home for a couple of hours
or I'm going to take a PTO daylater this week.
It's like we don't have like wehave a lot of flexibility in
our job, but that's like takinglike last minute time short of
just calling out job, but that'slike taking like last minute
(27:40):
time short of just calling outwe don't really have that
flexibility, right?
Christopher (27:47):
I mean, people say PTO is prepare the others, but
like we don't, it goes back towe are a tribe, we are a family,
we are co-workers and we don'tlike a good majority of us do
not like letting our team downby calling out if there's
absolutely not a dire emergency.
Colby (28:06):
Yeah.
Christopher (28:07):
Or like you're on your deathbed.
Colby (28:08):
I like to call out seasonally
Christopher (28:10):
oh God.
Colby (28:13):
Once for each season.
They're mental health days.
I never call out when I'm sick,I work sick as a dog.
Christopher (28:19):
I know I heard you.
Colby (28:21):
Also, if you guys listen to the blooper episode, it's
embarrassing how many shotsthere are of me being like
sniffing my nose, coughing,sounding like I have no voice.
I was so sick this winter.
I worked all of those shifts.
I worked them all.
Put a mask on and I toughed itout,
Christopher (28:38):
and then she tried to get me sick by sitting right
next to me.
Colby (28:40):
I wore a mask.
Christopher (28:41):
Oh, you did.
Yeah, you're right.
And I didn't get sick.
Colby (28:45):
So masks work.
Christopher (28:46):
With my two white blood cells,
Colby (28:47):
all you anti-maskers yeah .
Christopher (28:50):
And now the segment break hey, hey, hey.
So now it's time for ScrubHacks, which we have done before
.
In this segment, we'll sharequick tips, tricks and little
shortcuts that make the life inscrubs a little bit easier.
From time-solving tools to waysto stay organized during the
craziest shifts, these are thehacks that help keep us going.
(29:11):
Let's dive in and find a fewways to make your day run a
little smoother.
Colby (29:16):
All right, the scrub hack .
Today's scrub hack is forremembering names.
On the subject of friendship,when we're making new friends,
we're meeting new people at thehospital.
How are you remembering names?
What's your hack?
Christopher (29:28):
My hack is very simple.
I put their name in a notes appand I usually put something
that I Immediately.
Well, no, not no.
Colby (29:42):
I I was like that's kind of rude, you're like what's your
name?
got it
Christopher (29:45):
with the sound still on yeah, yeah, looking at
the keyboard but then I usuallyput something they said that
kind of like I would remember,for example, when I, when I was
at our old apartment, the reasonwhy I learned a lot of their
names was because I would belike, oh, has this person's dog.
Colby (30:08):
Honestly.
Okay, let me just say this.
I'm impressed that you rememberthe name at the end of the
conversation.
Christopher (30:17):
Well, I'm literally saying it over, and that's the
thing.
Colby (30:19):
That's another thing you're doing.
Christopher (30:20):
You're saying it over and over in my head,
probably not paying attention towhat they're trying to say
Colby (30:25):
Because you're trying to remember their name, which,
honestly, will go a lot furtherwith someone if you remember
their name rather than listeningto what they said.
See me.
On the other hand, I'm terribleat this game.
Used to be great, used toremember, I think I.
Just my ADHD has gotten so muchworse.
People will introducethemselves to me and immediately
(30:46):
I realized I did not know whattheir name is Like.
They'll be like my name is andit's like blah, blah, blah, blah
, blah, like Charlie.
BrownAnd I'm like then I start, then
I'm listening to what they'resaying, but I already know that
I don't remember their name.
So then I start like panickingI don't know their name.
Like I just met one of our new,a new neighbor recently.
Out on the street I was walkingtrout, and she came up to me
(31:07):
and I know I think she said hername was Lillian, but I think
that I could have made that up Iknow her dog's name, juju.
Oh see, I'll remember a dog'sname every time, let's be honest
.
But when it comes to theirowner,
Christopher (31:20):
how does that make sense?
Colby (31:21):
I don't, it doesn't
Christopher (31:22):
Okay,
Colby (31:22):
because I see the dog and I'm like dog
Christopher (31:24):
Juju.
Colby (31:25):
Juju, so when I am more conscious of this.
Like she caught me off guard onthe street so I was like, oh,
oh, yeah, I am that person, butat work I try and say their name
back to them.
Christopher (31:41):
Like.
Colby (31:41):
I'll be like hi, I'm Colby.
They'll be like hi, I'm Jeff.
Jeff, it's so nice to meet you.
Then I keep it in my brain orI'm like they're telling me
something and at the end oftheir sentence I say their their
name, Like I'll be like OK,samantha, that sounds good.
I'll call you back in 15minutes.
Or they'll say hi, this is Ren,hi, ren, this is I'm Colby.
I'm calling from.
So I just do like so hard tosay their name back, because if
(32:03):
I said it back to them, thenthat's when it sticks in my head
.
But if I don't say it back,it's gone.
Poof, Like a little magic dust,like poof gone.
Christopher (32:13):
I've been told that if you say it three times in
the conversation, it's supposedto be able to, like, really
cement it.
Colby (32:19):
I'm going to take that away with me.
I'm going to put that in mypocket.
Christopher (32:22):
Yeah.
Colby (32:22):
Because maybe I need to say it three times.
Christopher (32:24):
Yeah, that's what I've been told so usually, and
if you say it in the actualconversation, it's better than
you just saying it in your head.
Colby (32:30):
Yeah, I've gotten to conscious about not remembering
people's names that I really amtrying so much harder to
remember people's names.
Yeah, so this was a lot ofpressure, this segment break.
I'm like what am I doing?
I don't never.
Christopher (32:47):
Well, if you have a tip to remember people's names
let us know.
Colby (32:52):
Let us know because I need all the help I can get.
Christopher (32:54):
Yeah, I mean I'm meeting people left and right.
Colby (32:57):
Unfortunately, I am as well.
Christopher (32:58):
Yeah.
Colby (32:59):
Fortunately I mean Fortunately I am meeting people
left and right.
Christopher (33:06):
Left and right.
So we said that we would endthis on a positive note.
So how does working as a nursebuild friendships?
Colby (33:16):
I'm sorry, but if you can't be friends with someone
when you're like there's thatlike classic nursing meme where
it was like something about likewiping butt cheeks together, I
wish I could remember becauseit's funny but it's like obvious
, like there's no, like you aregonna have some of the funniest,
like craziest stories if you'renot friends with the people
(33:40):
that you work with.
It's impossible, honestly, likethey're, you're gonna be, you're
gonna have friends or you'regonna have people that you work
with that you're not very closewith, but like it's impossible
to not make at least a couple offriends because we go through
so much together on top ofeverything we just said it could
be.
Going through all this stufftogether can be a negative
experience, but then you canalso take away some positives
(34:01):
and like have some lifelongfriendships.
One of my very best friends inlife was someone I met at this
job, and one of them isChristopher, another one she is
like I'm like part of her familyand I didn't know her from Adam
until we started workingtogether by happenstance back in
2017.
You and the same sentiment ofme saying you spend 12 hours
(34:25):
with these people at work likeit can become toxic.
It can also become somethingreally, really beautiful.
Christopher (34:31):
Yeah, it really can .
Yeah, and there's some that,like there's one of our friends
that I have introduced to myfamily and to my best friend we
went to a baseball game togetherand I mean it's really it's
because we we share, we sharethe same trauma, we are very
similar and that's the thing youjust like.
(34:52):
Just like you spend times withyour, your, your patients, you,
you really you're spending thatmoment and you're getting to
know that person.
And I mean things happen,especially if you are working
consistently, like Tuesday,wednesday, thursday, or if
there's some places that havelike a weekend program.
You're working Friday, saturday, sunday, saturday, sunday,
(35:14):
monday.
You know, like those daysyou're like you're toughing it
out and it's you and your crew.
Colby (35:21):
Yeah, it's you and your crew.
It really is and, like on mostdays, I wouldn't have it any
other way.
I know that I think people whostay in jobs, in the same job
for a long time, it's becausethe people that they work with
yeah.
And like you know what you'rewalking into every day and you
(35:43):
know it might be crazy and itmight be the day from hell, but
the crew that you're workingwith you're like you look at
your assignment sheet and you'relike, oh yeah, we're gonna be
fine.
Like hell, yeah, it's gonna bea good day.
Even if it's the worst day,it's gonna be a good day,
because you're like, all right,they got my back, I got their
back.
Like we're gonna giggle aboutthis.
When someone poops on the floorLike we're going to which
(36:05):
happens more often than youthink Like I'm going to support
this person.
If you know, we have to codesomeone.
Like I got this person's back,I'm going to cover their
patients and make sure that theyget off the floor after this so
they can just like decompressand put it back together because
we have to keep rolling.
I know probably too much aboutsome of my co-workers which
(36:28):
we've talked about before, andhow that can be a positive or a
negative, but like sometimes,when you know a lot about
someone like you can kind of youhave a feeling for, like when
they need a second, do they needa friend?
like and the same and the samething goes both ways.
Like your co-workers thatyou've been working with for
years and know you so well thatyou become close with.
Like they know, like I have myfriends at work know that I'm
(36:52):
terrible.
We talk about this all time,but you need to take your 30
minute break.
They know I'm so bad about it.
Like they'll come up and belike did you have a snack?
Like can I sit here and andtake the the charge phone so you
can go get some food?
Like just get off the unit.
Like that is.
That's like love, you know.
Like that really is love andcaring.
And it's so beautiful when,when you have these good,
positive working relationshipsand friendships outside of work.
(37:14):
Like like tonight I got homefrom work and I called one of my
friends on my walk with my dogand I was just like hey, I just
need to like decompress realquick and do a debrief on my day
.
And she was like hit me, likewhat happened?
And I like told her everything.
It was amazing.
But that's a friend that is inworks in healthcare, she's a
nurse, she gets it, she canunderstand.
(37:37):
Whereas, like if I called oneof my friends from high school
who I love dearly.
They'd be like Whoa, that'scrazy, but like I wouldn't get
the same satisfaction out oftelling them as I, as I do
telling a friend who's been inthe trenches with me
Christopher (37:53):
Right.
There's something about sharedtrauma,
Colby (37:55):
even though that's really bad, but it's, it's legit
Christopher (37:58):
it is yeah, and because the reason why it's
legit is because you got throughit somehow, or you help
somebody get through it, or youknow you're noticing somebody
needs to get through it and youyou have the tools and the the
empathy to actually help themthrough it like yeah it's
(38:18):
important.
I do want to say and I, I'm, I'mgonna pop in the negative real
quick and then hop in thepositive what changes within
your friend group in nursinghappened when you went into the
charge nurse role.
Colby (38:41):
Oh, like was there a dynamic change in the friendship
group.
Christopher (38:47):
Oh, like, like was there a dynamic change in the
friendship group, because it notin not in ours, yeah, but in
the unit, in particular when Istepped into my role oh yeah,
there it changed interesting.
Colby (38:56):
Yeah, um, okay, I'm glad you brought it up.
I really don't feel like therewas a change for me personally
but I also stepped into the rolewith already kind of having
like a leadership kind of styleat work without being in charge,
and with that I I think I oftenhad a lot of year, more years
(39:20):
of experience, so people wouldcome to me and ask me questions
anyways.
So then when I was officiallyin the charge position, it just
was kind of a naturalprogression as far as work and I
personally and this could be mecompletely having blinders on
but I didn't notice like a shiftin the dynamic of friendships,
honestly.
But I also I'm like I'm sotransparently, like I'm so
(39:47):
transparently what's the wordI'm looking for?
Even not even um, fair, I guessI like, and someone has a
complaint about something?
Like they can.
All they can complain is that Idid it fairly.
Like with assignment making likesomeone wants to complain about
, and I've had people come up tome and been like this is not.
Like a lot of times theassignment issues that I have
(40:08):
are with the techs.
And then I explain what I didand they're like, oh OK, like
I'm really making it fair, Likesometimes they're like, oh, I
have a patient in the front andin it's literally every single
one of them is a total care.
That's why you have a patienton the other side of the unit.
And then they're like, oh, okay.
(40:29):
So I think situations like that, if anything, I am so
transparent, I am so fair thatas far as me being in charge, I
don't really feel like there wasa change.
But then also, at the same timethat I started being in charge,
some of my friends were alsogetting like getting put into
(40:51):
training, into being in charge,like I definitely was the first
one, but then they were likepretty soon following me.
So I feel like maybe that's whyI didn't see like a big change
in the dynamic, because while Iwas doing charge when I was
working, they were doing itwhile they were working um,
Christopher (41:06):
yeah, no, I mean it's just interesting because
Colby (41:09):
what was your experience I?
Christopher (41:10):
mean it wasn't like drastic, but you can just tell
some people like to toe the lineto see if I'm gonna be a friend
or and we joke about it all thetime they're like, is this ANM
Christopher's hat or is thisfriend Christopher's hat?
Colby (41:26):
You know that's a difficult, it is difficult, it's
a difficult line.
Christopher (41:31):
And there are times where I'm like friend
Christopher's is going to belike nah, you can't do that.
Yeah.
And then ANM's going to be likebut you got to and I've said
that too.
Colby (41:43):
Yeah.
Christopher (41:43):
Because there are.
I do remember when I was on thefloor and I didn't want to do
things, that was said.
But you've got to do it.
Colby (41:55):
Yeah, I mean ultimately it's like that's your job.
Christopher (42:00):
Yeah.
Colby (42:01):
Ultimately, that's your job.
Christopher (42:02):
And other duties as assigned, but
Colby (42:11):
that clause gets me every time.
Christopher (42:12):
I mean, I just I just looked at it the today and
I was like that's a good one,but yeah, so I I wanted to talk
about this in the last episodeand we didn't get to.
Okay, give, let's give thelisteners a brief synopsis of
how we became friends
Colby (42:30):
well, we worked together, which we've touched on already
yeah and christopher well, Idon't want to be friends with
anybody didn't want to befriends with anybody, anybody,
and our units became one yep andI would say we, we started
being friends.
But it was pretty casual.
Um, we, we.
(42:52):
I forced him to be my friendbecause I was like I really like
this guy and I want him to bemy friend, and so we were at it,
we were.
It was an outing outside ofwork at another co-worker's
house and Christopher said Ijust chatted his ear off.
Christopher (43:08):
Oh my God.
Colby (43:09):
He said I wouldn't stop talking.
Christopher (43:11):
Bleeding.
Colby (43:12):
Bleeding!! That's dramatic.
But I can talk.
So that's what happened.
I accosted Christopher with mywords and I would not stop
talking at him because I waslike I want this guy to be my
friend.
I really like him.
He's cool.
And that's what happens when Imeet people that I like.
I just won't shut up becauseI'm like I want you to be my
friend.
Christopher (43:31):
Which is hilarious, because I am so introverted and
I'm like why is this persontalking my ear off?
Colby (43:39):
And then, okay, so like then I, then he moved.
Well then, I think I leftbefore you left, or did you
leave to go to transplant first?
Christopher (43:48):
No, you left first.
Colby (43:49):
Okay, so I left the job first and I went to travel, and
then Christopher went totransplant, and then at some
point I moved in with one of ourfriends and we lived across the
hall from each other, me andChristopher and it was me, one
of our friends, who also workswith us.
Christopher (44:06):
The apartment landing.
Colby (44:08):
Yeah, the apartment landing.
We lived across the hall fromeach other and it was game over
after that, really Like hecouldn't escape me.
So once we figured that out, itwas like what are you doing?
What you doing?
Are you off?
You want to come hang out?
I threw a christmas party.
This one really broke my heart,guys I threw a christmas party,
(44:28):
and christopher is vegan, and soI made vegan food oh boy and
then last minute christopherdidn't come, okay, and that
broke my heart, but I didn'ttell him that until recently.
How much that actually hurt myfeelings yeah, I felt really bad
I made him um vegan blondiesand then I brought them to him
and he ate them all and they hadespresso dark chocolate.
Christopher (44:49):
They were so good, they were so good.
Colby (44:52):
I I have this bad issue of if it's in front of me, I'm
gonna eat it he ate the wholepan and I was like, yeah,
imagine how good they would havebeen warm yesterday at my
christmas party
Christopher (45:02):
she tried to play on the guilt and I just was like
they're still good, it doesn'tmatter.
Colby (45:06):
Yeah, not knowing that I was heartbroken, I was like I
went and I bought all this veganfood for Christopher and he
didn't even come to my party,but I didn't let that get me
down.
Christopher (45:20):
I persevered.
Okay, I appreciate that, andnow he's one of my very best
friends.
Colby (45:24):
yes, yes and now we have this podcast together.
We're raising two dogs together.
Together but separate
Christopher (45:36):
yes, together BUT separate.
We need to emphasize
Colby (45:40):
he always got uncomfortable because him and
our other friend, or sorry meand our other friend, sorry me
and our other friend we wouldalways say, yeah, we live with
Christopher.
He'd be like, no, we don't livetogether.
We're like, yeah, we livetogether, we have the same
apartment, All three of us livetogether.
We're roommates actually.
And he'd be like we don't livetogether.
He'd be like stop saying thatto people.
Christopher (46:00):
You know, I have to make sure my game stays strong
people.
Colby (46:05):
You know I have to make sure my game stays strong.
We were definitely blocking um,and now we just moved to the
same apartment complex again.
We don't live across the hallfrom each other anymore.
We live a few buildings away,but it does not stop me
it's officially like.
It was one of those things whereI I was like, well, I I was
okay with where I was, but Colbywas like I'm leaving.
(46:25):
And I was like, yeah, I thinkI'm going to leave too.
She was like, well, where areyou going to go?
And I'm like, because, he had to move first.
His lease was up.
And I was like where are yougoing?
Christopher (46:33):
I'm like I don't have enough time to figure it
out.
So you figure out where you'regoing and I will follow you.
And so essentially that's whatshe found this apartment complex
I did.
I then applied and moved in,and then she moved in a couple
of months after.
Colby (46:49):
Yeah, I did all the heavy lifting on that one, but that's
okay.
Christopher (46:53):
Which.
I appreciate.
I did come to the tour with thisparticular one.
Colby (46:58):
I did make him come tour with me.
We drove to another one andkind of creeped around.
Christopher (47:02):
We had tour questions and everything.
Colby (47:04):
We did.
We had a notes app we reviewedin the car before we went in.
We were very serious about itand we fell in love with this
one immediately.
But we've now gotten multiplefriends and coworkers to move
into this apartment complex, sowe are just we're starting a
cult.
Christopher (47:18):
Yeah.
Colby (47:19):
Welcome to our cult.
Christopher (47:20):
Hello, can you imagine the documentary we would
have?
Colby (47:27):
But yeah, I think it's so fun getting to live and work
with you.
It's so fun,
it is it really is.
I feel the same way with you.
I'm like, yeah, it is fun towork with me.
What are you talking?
about.
But it's been helpful toobecause, like we both have dogs
(47:52):
and our dogs are friends, yeah.
They're brothers.
Christopher (47:56):
I mean practically.
Colby (47:58):
Not really, but they were raised that way.
Christopher (47:59):
Yeah, which is wild that way, yeah, which is wild.
And, um you know, occasionallyif I'm like working late, you're
able to pick up and like yeahcome, she has a key to my place.
Yeah, so that I do I don't haveto worry about it because,
homeboy, I've got to lock myselfout yeah, no worries, I got you
.
Colby (48:18):
Um, yeah, I mean your dad locked himself out and I ran
over with the extra key.
Christopher (48:23):
Right right.
Colby (48:24):
You know it's all good things and and, yeah, and
Christopher takes Trout out forme and and we just we have this
like great symbioticrelationship.
It's amazing.
Christopher (48:34):
Yeah, it's really good.
Colby (48:35):
Yeah.
Christopher (48:36):
I roast her about certain things.
She roasts me about working toomuch.
Colby (48:44):
There's a lot to roast right now.
Wait till the next episode.
Christopher (48:48):
Yes, I'm so excited .
This was already planned, sothis is like destined to happen.
Colby (48:56):
All right, anything else to add on?
friendship.
Christopher (49:01):
No, I think we're good.
Colby (49:03):
Amazing, All right class dismissed.
That's a wrap for today'ssession of Nursing Lyfe 101.
We hope you found some usefultakeaways to bring back to the
floor.
Remember, nursing is a lifelonglearning journey and we're here
with you.
Christopher (49:15):
If you want to connect, find us on Twitter at
NurseLyfe101, or on Facebook atNursingLyfe101.
And don't forget to subscribeand share with fellow nurses.
Until next time, take care ofyourselves and keep making a
difference out there.
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