Work, Love, and Code Blue: Dating in Healthcare

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christopher (00:00):
Welcome to Nursing Lyfe 101, the most important
nursing class you never got totake in nursing school.
We will be traversing differentobjectives, like interviewing,
what to do in nursing school,boundaries, burnout and so much
more.
If this interests you, I hopeyou are taking good notes
because class to Nursing Lyfe101.

(00:46):
We're so excited to have youhere with us as we dive into the
world of nursing, sharing ourexperiences, insights and a
little bit of fun along the way.
I'm Christopher and I couldn'tbe happier to introduce my
co-host.

Colby (00:58):
Hey guys, it's Colby.
Together, we'll be bringing youreal stories, practical tips
and discussions about all thingsnursing, Whether you're a
fellow nurse or just curiousabout the life behind the scrubs
, we're thrilled to have youjoin us.

You know we really missed the ball here.
We could have did this episodein February.

Colby (01:14):
For Valentine's Day.

For Valentine's Day .
Oh well,

Colby (01:17):
Dang

Is there some romantic thing in June?
Oh, the strawberry moon,

Colby (01:21):
nothing like summer love, oh the strawberry moon,

oh.

Colby (01:26):
Summer loving.
Had me a blast.
Well, and with that being said,today we're talking about
romantic relationships withinthe organization, which sounds
like we're talking about the mob.
Well, sometimes it could feelthat way.

Sometimes it depends.
So we'll start with, likevarious units and we'll kind of
branch out like little segments

Colby (01:59):
okay,

and then we'll branch out.

Colby (02:00):
I'm going to let you guide the ship on this one and
see where we're taking it, howyou picture.

Well, okay, so we'll first start with within
your own unit.

Colby (02:10):
Dating within your own unit.

Dating within your own unit.

Colby (02:12):
Do you recommend it?
One, two, three.
No, you were supposed to say notoo.

I mean, the thing is, though I've seen it work.

Colby (02:28):
And we've seen it not work.
I know, I know.
And usually it's the not working, that is the.
What is it prevalent?
Yeah, what you see most often happen

yeah, yeah, yeah

Colby (02:40):
Is that it doesn't.

And then there's like an implode.
I mean I dated someone in ourunit and well, in the unit it
was before I was an assistantnurse manager I have to clarify
that and it ended up not workingout.
And this person was a CNA too.

(03:03):
And we referenced this personwas a cna too.
Um, and we referenced thisperson during our cna episode
where I was like they were doingall the things for me but would
slightly not do as much forother people, yeah and so you
know I benefited from it greatly.

(03:23):
But

Colby (03:24):
until you didn't.

Well, the thing is that person left before it
imploded.

Colby (03:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, I kind of forgot that timeline.
Well, that worked out.

Yeah, it did, which I was grateful because the way
that it ended.
It would have been horrible ifthey Were still working on the
unit Were still working on theunit but I mean I've also seen a

(03:53):
charge nurse date a pct or cna.

Colby (03:53):
You guys kind of you internally date on your unit.
I think a lot of you do that

whoa, I think that is a gross assumption.

Colby (04:05):
I think it was only those two cases, well, I guess.
Yeah, I was gonna say I can'tthink of too many on mine, but
now, now we're talking about it,yeah, I've seen two rns be
co-workers for years, then startdating, then get married and
then left the unit together.
But okay, okay, what I'm tryingto say is like when you are

(04:26):
dating a co-worker and you workon the same unit and you're also
friends with people in the sameunit, like it's sometimes the
the issue in your with datingsomeone in the same unit as you
might not like that might not bethe issue.
It might be the friends thatyou're working with that have
like an issue with it, like youknow.
Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it is definitely

Colby (04:47):
there's like a weird dynamic,

yeah, yeah.
Because, well, it depends onhow vocal you are about your
relationship, too, right?

Colby (04:54):
I would say my advice is to keep.
If you're dating someone, keepthat close to your heart, keep
it close to your heart, don'tspeak on it, don't act like you
know each other.
No, not really, but I mean Iwould just keep it so, so
professional at work, becausethe second someone decides that

(05:16):
they they know about therelationship that's going on
between you and this otherperson and if they don't like it
, you're the topic ofconversation, there are rumors,
there is shit talking.

Right, you become a very big target.

Colby (05:32):
The target is on your back and it is big.

Good or bad.
I mean, people could be reallyexcited that you two are dating.
It could be that, like in mycase, where they notice the PCT
is doing a lot and then they areon your case because why are
you getting preferentialtreatment?
Oh it's because you're dating.
Oh, that's a problem.

Colby (05:55):
Yep.

And I mean it is a problem, and I am not one to my
manager is actually very, verygood at allowing it to happen.
There's nothing in terms of

Colby (06:07):
there's not like a no-fretinization rule.

There is no rule but.

Colby (06:13):
But there's like a professionalism that you need to
maintain.
of course

You've got to maintain it, and if you can't do
that, then you might as wellforget about dating someone
within the same unit, possiblywithin the hospital, the
hospital, yeah, unit possiblywithin the hospital.

Colby (06:28):
Okay, here's a question, and I don't know is this
hospital policy at ourhealthcare system that, if you
like, you also can't be in anoverarching position of like so-
?

I don't think that's a true thing

Colby (06:42):
On the same shift, though , like I know like can you be in
charge and your romanticrelationship partner be
underneath you on the floor?

Well, I mean, I don't know if that's a legit
policy on the.

Colby (06:57):
So that's another thing you should take into
consideration.
When you do start havingromantic feelings about a
co-worker, especially someonethat you work with in the same
unit, not just in the hospital.
Maybe you need to be aware ofwhat the healthcare system that
you worked for policy is on that, because there are some places
that don't allow fraternizationwithin the workplace and there

(07:19):
might be some rules, policies,regulations about that.
You might just have to be likeup front with your manager.
You might just have to be likehey, we've got to have a meeting
.
We just need to tell you likewe've, we are now dating and
like that's super personal liketo have to like do that, but if
you're going, to date someone inyour working space and like

(07:58):
that's what you have to do.

As long as you are able to have the feelings and
keep everything kind of casualat work, by all means go ahead.
But what if you like?
Okay, you start dating withinthe unit.
Things are going great.

(08:21):
So you started a CNA or youstarted dating a CNA.
That CNA has gone throughschool.
Y'all are doing pretty well.
You then have the CNA goingthrough nursing classes, passes

(08:42):
the NCLEX and then startsworking as a nurse.
Is that different?
Like what do you?
Do?
You think there's any type oflike weird changes there?

Colby (08:54):
I, I can't think of anything specific.
I feel like it really justdepends on the people.

I think so too.
I.
I don't.
I mean I that that was the.
That was the other couple thatwas on the unit that I know of.
Oh, no, there was one more.

Colby (09:08):
I was going to say I don't know who you're talking
about, but I was thinking ofsomebody different.

Oh, interesting.

Colby (09:13):
Yeah, see, you guys are incestual.

No, I don't.
Hey, we're a tribe.

Colby (09:16):
That was a joke we are a tribe.
No, not the tribe.

Does it dating?
Dating someone is a little bitdifferent than being married to
someone, so you can be a nurseand be married to a nurse.
And y'all came from twodifferent you know places.
Right Right there there is ainternational nurse who is who

(09:45):
has come down and they're anurse and they're working here.
But they also have a spouse.
That's also a nurse and I wasjust talking with them briefly.
They were saying that theirhope is to bring their spouse
down.

Colby (10:01):
Yeah.

And that if there was a position open, they would
want to have them work together,work together, yeah.
So like there's various or youcould have gone in together in
the same unit, you know Mm-hmm,but I think Okay.

Colby (10:18):
So what popped into my head when you said that is isn't
it funny how there's kind of adouble standard where it's like

(10:38):
for me, my viewpoint or personalopinion on this is like working
with a couple that's marriedversus working with a couple
that started dating when theystarted working on the unit are
like two different situations.
Married couples and I don'tknow my brain, just like I mean
I've worked with both where,like it doesn't bother me
regardless, but I feel like it'sjust way more acceptable.
I don't even know why I'm usingthat word.
That's probably not the wordI'm looking for, but like it's
on, it's less bothersome to mostpeople.
I'm not.

(10:59):
I'm not even I'm making ageneralization across staff, but
, like from what I've observed,co-workers are more bothered by
dating dating than they are by aco-worker that's married by
co-workers that are marriedwhich is weird have.
You've observed that as well.

Yeah, it's weird, I don't know, I don't know what
it is, I just.
But you're right, they verymuch are OK with

Colby (11:27):
people that are married.

Yeah, and.
But the thing is like, even whenpeople are dating and then they
become married, it's like oh OK, there you go.

Colby (11:34):
Yeah, and then like a switch flips and they're like OK
.

Right, it's like what?

Colby (11:39):
Why is that?

I don't know.

Colby (11:41):
That's so weird, but it's so true.
That is a pattern I've observedagain and again.

It's so weird, it makes no sense.
I mean I

Colby (11:49):
and it makes sense right, like how how health care
workers end up dating each other, because we talked about this
in the Friends episode, whereit's like it's sometimes so hard
to make new connections withpeople outside of health care
because they just don't get whatwe've been through or what
we're going through at work.
So then, like you are withsomeone at work and they're

(12:09):
going through the same hardshipsthat you're going through the
same traumas and we spend all ofour time with these people, and
then things become romantic andthen they're dating and you're
like, yeah, that makes sense.
How they ended up that way,sure?

yeah, and I mean because that's what you, a good
relationship has.
They're like pillars, they dothings together, they like the
same things.
And then there are thoseoffshoots that give you the
respite from your spouse Likeyou need to get away and you get

(12:43):
to be able to do that,sometimes even on shift, right,
like sometimes you're just waytoo busy to deal with your
spouse's issues.
Yeah, and you have thosehandful of patients and you're
trying to keep those patientsalive while they're doing the
same thing, and that kind oflike also builds that bond

(13:05):
because, like, was this reallysomething that I should have
been arguing about you?
Really it puts perspective intowhat your, your relationship is
I feel like.

Colby (13:13):
Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that.
I think also, while we'retalking, do okay.
Here's another question do youthink same unit versus different
unit, marriages and datingwhich one do you think is easier
?

well, I honestly think that it's easier to date
on different units, but easierto be married on the same oh
interesting and so the reasonwhy on different units, when
you're dating, you're trying tofill out that person, trying to

(13:49):
understand, and that allows youto.
There's a reason why mostpeople choose a unit.
They have some type of likefeeling toward cardiac, toward
transplant, towards ortho.
You know they have that kind ofdesire and then it allows you
to kind of plan your days alittle bit better because you

(14:11):
don't have to worry about oh,there's now two of us having to
take off the same day.
It's just one off on differentunits For marriage.
Those days that you don't worktogether are the days you're
like, oh yay, I get the day tomyself, but this is coming from
someone who?

Colby (14:30):
No, that's such a good point.
I wasn't thinking that.

This is coming from someone who likes their time,
right.
Yeah, you know, staffing wise,there's two of you and you're
married.
Then you both have to take offa vacation.
You know like that makes itdifficult, but in the everyday
day-to-day things I think it'sjust better to be married on the

(14:55):
same unit.

Colby (14:56):
No, I think I totally see what you're saying.
I wouldn't have even thoughtabout that with the scheduling
thing.
I was just thinking for bothsituations, whether it's dating
or marriage, that a differentunit would make it easier for a
multitude of reasons.
You don't have like thepressure of your coworkers
watching every step you make inthat relationship, whether

(15:17):
you're having like a good day ora bad day they're talking about
it, whatever what have you?
But like also, like when youlive together, you work together
, you have the same co-workers,the same, everything.
Like when your life is too muchof the same.
I could see that like causingundue stress on your
relationship as well, whereaslike if you work if you work in

(15:39):
the same hospital but indifferent units or departments
or whatever like you're stillsharing enough but, also having
enough differences that it's notlike you're just one person,
like completely consumed.

Okay, I mean, I see that too.
I mean it is interesting, Idon't know.
I would like to hear.
I might even try to throw apoll out on social media.

Colby (16:07):
Yeah, let's get your opinions, guys.
What is your stance on?
What do you think would beeasier?
What would you interpret thatas?
And this is impossible for somepeople, because some people
really just you know, they justwork and they go home, so maybe
that's your dating pool, but mypersonal stance is that you

(16:31):
should not,

that was a personal attack on me.

Colby (16:35):
No,

that was a personal .
You didn't look at me but everyword went straight toward me

Colby (16:45):
If the shoe fits.

No,

Colby (16:45):
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
No, but I personally think thatyou should not date in the same
environment system that you workin.

Yeah, that's interesting.

Colby (16:59):
Okay, but I'm learning that things happen sometimes.
I will say in my going on 11years now working in healthcare,
up until recently I've neverdated anybody that's worked in
the hospital in any form orfashion.

(17:20):
Not another nurse, not a doctor, not a maintenance man, nothing
up until recently

why is that though?

Colby (17:30):
I just I don't know.
Well, I think, as far as likenursing,

you have to know something

Colby (17:36):
as far as like nursing or like anybody as far as like
people like directly that I'mworking with all the time, I
don't really find the classicmale nurse attractive, like the
majority of male nurses all havelike the same kind of like.
They carry themselves a certainway.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Not saying all of them.

(17:57):
I'm saying the majority,

I am not one of them, but

Colby (17:59):
you're not, you're not Right.
But most and everybody who knowsanything about health care is
probably nodding their head orlike laughing and being like,
yeah, no, we get it.
I'm just, I'm not attracted tothat person, like I'm just like,
get away from me, friends withthem.
Sure, they're hilarious, butthey are not dateable to me.

(18:22):
They're usually very toxicwomanizer kind of type.
Think that you know they pickthis career because it's all
it's mostly women and they havelike a little bit of a god
complex they really think thatthey're like doing god's work
and you're like I'm doing thesame job as you, but for some

(18:43):
reason they think that they'relike doing it better or like I
don't know.
But I can't stand it.
No, I can't stand it Again,like I'm friends with these guys
, I think they're funny, but Ijust don't think that I could
ever be in a relationship,romantic relationship, with a
guy that works in health care.

I love how you just narrowed it down to nurses,
though, like there are nodoctors there.

Colby (19:07):
Well, I feel like my my relationship with the doctors
that I work with.
I'm usually bossing them around, so they're not interested in
me.
Let's be honest, they're likenot the bossy one, we'll go to
the next one

but, but hospitals are so big.
So, like I, I'm just so amazedthat and good for you that for
11 years you have avoided.
Avoided that because that is abig pool of people.

Colby (19:38):
It is especially when we live when we live and work in a
town where, like that is themajority, like a huge majority
of the reason why people liveand work where we live and work
is because of our health system.
So it does narrow my datingpool.
Very small, very small, littlepond for the people who don't
live and work here for ourhealth system.

At least within like a 30 minute radius of the
hospital, hospital yeah once yougo out, I think you're okay

Colby (20:05):
well, that's why I've only dated

also true

Colby (20:07):
medium distance relationships.
Yeah, like two hours away
that's medium
mediums like two yeah hour and a half medium.
Do you think that's long?

yeah, I think really and truly anything after
an hour and 45.

Colby (20:25):
I'm like well, I called it medium distance.
People date across the countryand

people do

Colby (20:32):
that's long distance

that's, that's desert

Colby (20:35):
that's long haul, that's long haul trucking that's.
I gotta be able to drive toyour house and back in the same
day.

We have a friend in our friend group who, literally
, they are across the country

Colby (20:47):
yeah, that's legit.

I don't know how they do it.

Colby (20:50):
Me either.
Two hours is my max, but it'salso my sweet spot.
And neither of those peopleworked in health care.

Stop.

Colby (21:07):
The current person I'm seeing doesn't work in health
care, but they do work at thehealth hospital.

In the health system,

Colby (21:16):
in the health system.

Yep.

Colby (21:30):
Got to be careful, though though that's another thing I
will say.
People who work at a healthsystem, and they're dating in
the health system.
You have to realize that youmight not be the first or only
person that they've dated in thehealth system as well, and you
have to like be open toaccepting that

yeah

Colby (21:48):
because that's just like.
That just is what it is like.
There there are people, like Isaid, that prefer to just date
co-workers instead of using adating app and all of a sudden,

once again.
I I feel like that was a target.

Colby (22:01):
That was not a target.

Just kill me now.

Colby (22:08):
It was not a target, but that is I mean and that makes
sense.
That's like real world dating,it's.
You know, dating apps are, arevirtual, whatever that they are.
So there's nothing wrong withreal, real taking it old school.
But I will say, like you arerunning the risk of dating

(22:28):
someone, that somebody else thatyou work with also dated

yeah, it's true

Colby (22:33):
yeah, as evidenced by
I mean both of us,
yep.

But you know you had said that your aunt is
dating someone within the healthsystem.

Colby (23:02):
Yeah, they were in the same office, but when they
started dating which is also avery hard relationship to like
manage, especially when like solike they they were in a medical
office, not even in thehospital oh, they started, so
it's a smaller smaller pool,smaller amount of co-workers to
pass judgment.
Yeah, very complicated, huh.
But I mean they've beentogether for more than seven

(23:23):
years

oh wow, yeah, so they've been.
Do you know anything about thatstory?

Colby (23:27):
um, a little bit.
They um so it was my aunt'sshe's gonna be listening to this
me like, just talk about myrelationship my aunt's boss, who
?
He's a doctor and she was anurse and they were just friends
for a long time and then heconvinced her to go watch a
football game together.
Yeah, and that was like theirfirst date.

(23:52):
They just got along really well.

Have I told you my list of what I think dates are?

Colby (23:59):
No,

okay.
Movies are not a date.
Don't take me out on one.
I don't want to go there.
You can't talk to anyone.
Yeah, you can't.

Colby (24:08):
Not a first date, no yeah .

The first date.
I'm talking about first dates.
Okay, restaurants, don't dare.

Colby (24:14):
Really.

Yeah, you're supposed to be getting to know
someone, so you're shoving foodin your mouth as you're trying
to answer questions.

Colby (24:21):
You're having a conversation.

No,

Colby (24:23):
okay, I'm not going to change your mind on that one.
You're very steadfast, okay.

A date which we've talked before driving in a car.

Colby (24:34):
Oh yeah.

It'll never happen because of the world that we
live in and crazy people outthere Not a first date,
but I could see that being likea third date, like you've gone
out twice with this person.
You're like you trust them.

Colby (24:47):
Yeah, you want to get to know them a little bit better.
And then you're like you knowwhat, let's just go for a drive.
That's a good, like third dateyeah

and it's good you're able to talk about things
.
You get to see how they reactwith your driving.
Are they a passenger princess orare you the passenger princess,
Like you got to figure that out.
Are y'all both?
drivers.
Is that going to make and breakthe relationship?

Colby (25:11):
Is someone a backseat?
or a passenger seat driver.

Don't dare, I'll tell you to sit down.

Colby (25:19):
Sit down and shut up.

Another good date.

Colby (25:22):
You're like date's like dates over get out,

find a way home.
I'll even uber you home

Colby (25:28):
drop you off, never speak to you again

another date idea is what you were talking about
go into a sporting event

Colby (25:37):
yeah, you can see.
Oh, my god, actually I love that, especially for a first date,
because one you're gonna findout if this person is a
psychopath

Right

Colby (25:44):
Like are they getting belligerently drunk?
Are they picking fights withother people in the crowd or at
the bar?
Or you know wherever you'rewatching the game, or are they
just like super passionate?
They know so much about thesport?
You guys can have a goodconversation about it.
You can judge the other personabout how much they know right
or you can like.
It's kind of cute when somepeople find it cute when, like

(26:04):
the other person who knows a lotabout the sport is kind of like
telling you, like what that,like what that play is or like
this is what they were thinkingduring that, during that, like
that coach call, whatever.
I kind of like when even when Iknow more about it than the
person I'm on a date with I likewhen they explain it to me
because I'm like either I'm likethat's cute, you're wrong, or

(26:25):
I'm like that's so cute youthink I don't know.
Watch what I'm about to sayback, or I'm actually learning
something.
So

give them the history of the game.
Yeah, and then their jaws on thefloor.

Colby (26:39):
Yeah, I love when a guy like asked me a question about
like I don't know, like a playlike in baseball.
Like you're 64", 3'0", equaling2.
Oh yeah, I'm like yeah, that'sa double play Right.

Like duh.
Who is this idiot putting 6-4-3 as 2 Outs?

Colby (26:57):
Yes, I love that.

I love that shirt.

Colby (27:06):
Me too.
And it's funny because then theguys are never expecting you to
a female.
I will say this is ageneralization but, I will say
in my personal experience is aguy is never expecting a female
to know something like that.
Yeah, I will even argue to saythat I've been.
This is a real life experience.
A man asked me if I knew allnine positions in baseball

oh my god, I cannot believe that.
Oh my god,

Colby (27:30):
I was like I feel like a kindergartner

I am so sorry

Colby (27:32):
to do that, but apparently people don't know and
that's embarrassing for themthat don't know because this is
like america's past time.
Everyone should know the ninthposition.

I mean, who's on first?

Colby (27:46):
yeah,

what's on second.
I don't know who's on third,

Colby (27:50):
there's a catcher, a pitcher

today and tomorrow

Colby (27:54):
?
Left, right center, shortstop,like I don't.
It's very basic.
What do you mean?
But apparently people don'tknow.
So I'm like very impressive,I'm a very impressive person to
take to a baseball game.

Oh gosh.
But I mean, I'm trying to thinkof a sport that you would.

Colby (28:15):
I don't know anything about basketball, I'll be honest
or lacrosse.
Yeah, very little.

So there are sports that you, yeah, not feel that
way yeah, no.

Colby (28:24):
If someone starts to explain basketball to me, I'm
like, okay, thanks, I didn'tknow that I'm gonna tuck that
away.

Then I'm like I don't care I don't tuck it away,
I let it quickly empty my brain

Colby (28:34):
you're like don't like this sport, don't care about
what you're telling me, this isa terrible day.

We should not have gone there

Colby (28:41):
and I don't like you first and last

but yeah, those are like my four, like I don't want
to be bombarded, if you want,I'm even really not a fan of
going to a bar to drink and fora date.

Colby (28:57):
I'm like yeah, I think knowing your stance on like
alcohol, not that you don'tdrink right but just that it's
not something that you have likecentered in your life, like for
social, like socializing.
Yeah, yeah, I could see, like Ithink of what's more popular

(29:18):
these days.
People are doing a lot ofcoffee dates.

Yeah, I could do that.

Colby (29:23):
Yeah, get a coffee,

I'm not a coffee fan either, but

Colby (29:26):
you could get a chai.

Yeah, I could get a chai tea.
I just said that I was going tosay that.

Colby (29:32):
But yeah, like I think people these days are doing more
of like midday coffee dates

Right or anytime it's not like mid, you know,
it's not a night thing.

Colby (29:42):
You know what I love Going for a walk together.

Oh yeah, I went on a date, yeah, I was like hiking
could be a little strenuous.

Colby (29:49):
It needs to be an easy trail for your first date?

No, it doesn't, Because then I'm like I won't go
on very many dates.

Colby (29:59):
I was judging how much endurance you have.

I am Because, ultimately, I want both of us to
be healthy.
And I want us to challenge eachother to stay healthy.

Colby (30:08):
Yeah.

So I'm not going to go easy on a hike.

Colby (30:12):
Yeah.

Because that means either one.
You don't want to be challenged.

Colby (30:16):
Okay, yes, I just had another thought.
I'm going to let you finishyours.

(30:43):
No, no, no, no.
Go ahead for marriage, or areyou dating just to like meet
somebody and have a good time,and that's something you really
need to think about before youstart dating a co-worker and you
need to establish that thatneeds to be an early on
conversation.
So everyone needs to be on thesame page, because if you're
dating, if you're dating formarriage and that person's
dating to just date people, bothare fine situations, but that's
going to end in a tragedy, yeah, for everybody involved.

(31:06):
Yeah, not just the peopledating, but the co-workers, your
management the patients, thepatients yeah, yeah so that's
what I was just thinking likefor you with.
Like the dates that you'retalking about sound like great
dates, but it sounds like datingwith more intention.

True, but I mean which?

Colby (31:25):
is nothing wrong.

Everyone should be healthy.
No, no, no, no, that's true.

Colby (31:29):
No, no, no, I totally agree with you.
I'm just thinking of, like,right now, the way I'm dating.
I'm not dating for serious, I'mdating just to like meet people
, experiences, but nothing longterm.
So, like I have been going outon dates and I see things that
I'm like red flag, red flag.

(31:52):
But then also I'm like, but Idon't care, because this is not
gonna, this is not a long-termperson, so I'm just gonna let
them ride, let them be them andI'll be me and we'll keep it
moving.
But if I was, if I saw thosethings and I was like trying to
date with an intention, I wouldbe like, okay, it's one date for
me and I'm moving on to thenext because this isn't gonna be
this, this can, this cannot goany further.

(32:17):
These are big red flags.
Right.
But I, yeah, I don't know.

I don't, yeah, I mean so okay, Obviously you're
okay with me saying movies are aterrible first date.
You're not okay with me sayinggoing to eat.

Colby (32:39):
I see, I see your point point, but I don't think it's a
terrible first date.
I do see your point I.
I think there are so manyperiods when you're at a
restaurant where there's roomfor conversation.
I think they just end up beinglike you're if you're going out
on a dinner date, it's going tobe a longer.
It's probably going to be alonger date than just going out
to dinner with a friend becauseyou're taking more breaks in

(33:02):
between bites.
You're

are you?

Colby (33:05):
I don't know, actually I don't know.
As I was saying that, I waslike it's probably not true
because me and christopher gab,we're yappers.
We probably have the longestdinners.
It's true because we just beyapping next thing.

You know we're like , oh, but there's also closing

Colby (33:22):
oh shoot, we gotta leave.
But also we're.
We're such close friends,though, that we we shoving food
in our mouths and talking at thesame time, so I don't know,
that's probably not verybecoming on a date

you literally have seen

Colby (33:33):
me oh yeah, body, some food, like mouth full chewing,
and be like I'm just talking,you're like an active listener
and I'm just yapping because I'menjoying my food and listening,
which is great okay, so it's atoss-up.

(34:00):
I think dinner dates as a firstdate could be good.

Might not be your best option okay, um, and what
was your thoughts on?
Um?
Oh oh wait, before on a date.
In in the, the restaurant area,do you like it when your or
your food is ordered for you?

Colby (34:26):
oh, that's a good question.
It depends, it's the vibe ofthe person oh it's what depends
on what they order, because ifthey try to order something, I'm
like no, actually, I'm sorry, Ican't eat.
I'm not a picky eater either,so, but I have to speak up but I
actually find it.
It's like a I don't know.

(34:46):
I go back and forth on this.
It depends on the person,because there's certain people
that if they tried to order forme I'd be like gtfo like, but
then somebody else does it andI'm like that, that was, that
was hot, that was OK, takecharge, romantic, I can't wait,
ok.
But then there's sometimeswhere I was like excuse me,

(35:08):
don't you excuse.
What do you feel?
I mean I would you like toorder for someone?
If I'm, if you're taking me toa restaurant that you've been to
before and you're like this isso good, you have to try this,
that you've been to before andyou're like this is so good, you
have to try this.

Then the waiter comes and they're like we're
gonna get this, this, and thislike order, like three, yeah
things, yeah and then like, yeah, I think that's totally fine I
feel like I am one to do that,because I do like to eat a lot
of different areas, but I tendI'm also I'm just so analytical,
so I'm like judging you forwhat you order.

Colby (35:41):
I'm just so analytical.
So I'm like judging you forwhat you order, and he's vegan
on top of it.

No, that doesn't mean that I'm judging them.
If they get meat, I'm just outof OK.
If you're going to a seafoodplace and you get a burger, I've
automatically judged you.

Colby (35:58):
That's fair.
Yeah, why did we go to aseafood place?
I could have said I don't.
I don't like seafood chilies,like you know.

Like I was okay with that yeah but you know like
no, no, stuff like that oh,

Colby (36:12):
I get it, that makes sense I would probably pass some
judgment as well,like excuse

I mean that's an extreme, but like I'm just I'm
looking to see what they orderand because then I'm like, oh,
do they prefer if we go to anitalian restaurant and they
prefer spaghetti over lasagna?
Like is there a preferencethere or is you know?

Colby (36:31):
like it's a good learning yeah a good learning date, but

also it's very interesting.
It's probably because I I don'tdate a lot I think about these
things

Colby (36:48):
I'm like I've never had this deep of a conversation
about whether or not going to arestaurant on the first date,
but now I'm rethinkingeverything I've ever done,

you know that's my intention is to make people
rethink about what they're doing.

Colby (37:00):
I'm rethinking everything .
I'm never going to a restauranton a first date.
What has been the best firstdate you've ever been on?
And was it with a coworker?

Do you have an answer to this question?

Colby (37:14):
No, but I can give you an example of something that
happened to me and at the end ofthe day I was like was that a
date?
Oh, okay, that happened to meand at the end of the day, I was
like, was that a date?
Oh okay.
Well, I went and this is a verycute idea for anybody that
needs a date idea in the springsummer.

(37:36):
I a travel nurse that I workedwith, we were friends and I was
recently single and I think Ijust misinterpreted it and I
wish I had recognized earlier onthat it could have been a date,
because he's a very nice person.
This was like two years ago.
We went to this farm where theyhave wildflowers that you can
go and cut and make your ownbouquets.
That's cool, yeah, and it's onthis farm.
So then there was, of course, alittle store.
You walk through.
We got ice cream after wepicked our flowers.

This is a great idea.

Colby (38:02):
Yes, like that was.
And we just like talked andlike we were being goofy with
the flowers, like talking about,like, oh, this one looks like
this, whatever.
It was so cute.
And then we made these littlebouquets in the mason jars.

That's cute.

Colby (38:10):
That's such a good first date.

That is a good yeah .

Colby (38:12):
And we had great.
We was like a good amount oftime, it was like three hours,
which I think should be likeyour max on the first date if
you're taking it serious ifyou're dating with intention and
not just for the good times.
But, um, I but yeah, that waswith a co-worker, I guess.

(38:33):
Oh so, I guess that's really myfirst, but it was.
I didn't know it was a date,maybe it wasn't.
It could have just been twofriends hanging out, but it also
could have been easily.
I mean, the ladies at theflower stand thought we were on
a date.
They even said it and we werelike laughing, we're like ha, ha
, no we're just friends,

Wait, wait wait, wait, wait.
We were laughing, or you laughedand he laughed after

Colby (38:54):
Might have been that way, I don't know.

I mean because I pay attention to those things.

Colby (39:01):
At the end of the day he came and picked me up in his
vehicle.

Never mind.
It was a date

Colby (39:12):
I had no idea.
I thought I was just having agood.
I wore a cute outfit too.

It was a date.
If y'all are looking at me,

Colby (39:19):
he's nodding his head.
It was a date.
It was a good date.
It was a good date.
I didn't know.
I was on um, I had a great time.
10 out of 10 would do again,but he left, so never see him
again dang,

you could have converted him

Colby (39:33):
probably could have to staff that's what he's talking
about From traveler to staff.

Yeah.

Colby (39:42):
He's a very sweet guy.
Yeah, you know, at the time Iwasn't in a good spot.

Interesting.
That's funny.
I mean that definitely was adate, though One hundred percent
.

Colby (39:58):
It was a great first date .
Looking back on it, I'm like,oh, that was a date, okay, yeah,
well, that was a great firstdate.
Looking back on it, I'm like,oh, that was a date, okay, yeah.
Well, that was a great firstdate and I think that one fits
into your.

Yeah, 100%.

Colby (40:08):
Yeah, your requirements.

It's absolutely impossible to eat ice cream fast
because you get a brain freeze.

Colby (40:15):
Yeah.

So it allows for adequate time to slowly, gives
you time to think about youranswers.
Yeah, no.
I'm okay with an ice cream date.

Colby (40:28):
Oh, I love ice cream dates.

I mean, you know me .

Colby (40:32):
Okay, what do you think about?

Oh wait, I never told you the first date.

Colby (40:35):
Oh, yeah, tell me, you got it.

I mean no, but I remember a date that I really
did appreciate.
We went to a local amusementpark oh yeah okay, and it was
really nice.
We went to the amusement parkand then there was a like

Colby (40:52):
I'm surprised, I guess

why?
Because we're standing in line.
You have to talk to them

Colby (40:58):
you're right, you're right, I'm like you're right.
There's a lot of like waitingdowntime at an amusement park.
Okay, I was thinking likeyou're running rides screaming
at in a roller coaster rightwhat's your favorite color?

do they get annoyed easily?
Yeah are they able to handlelike roller coasters?
Yeah are or are they like you?
rather take the bag

Colby (41:21):
I'll hold everyone's bags and be the mom

right, exactly, I'm like I don't want I want you to
enjoy that.

Colby (41:26):
Yeah, you don't want to date someone who wants to hold
the backpack.
Fair enough

do they get annoyed with the annoying children that
are?

Colby (41:37):
running around screaming crying,

you learn.
This is what I'm just very

Colby (41:43):
Okay.

This is me, though.
This is me in a nutshell, likeI'm just very analytical in what
I do.

Colby (41:49):
That's true, okay, so someone that I am seeing right
now had.
We had a conversation.
They do like extracurricularsports for fun as an adult, and
they really wanted me to spendthe entire day watching them
play
nope,
that's what I said

negative

Colby (42:08):
I was like um

you're having me sit and watch you.

Colby (42:11):
Yeah,

no

Colby (42:12):
all day

no
I said that.
I said I really don't want
audacity

Colby (42:17):
don't want to do that,

I will gladly join you

Colby (42:19):
and play,

and play

Colby (42:20):
okay, so, okay, not.
So that's not a good.
That was just like not a firstdate thing, obviously

no yeah

Colby (42:26):
that's a terrible first date,

yeah,

Colby (42:28):
but even like, even if you've been dating for a little
bit of time, it's casual

no

Colby (42:34):
yes, okay, I'm glad, I'm not imagining that,

no, no, no, I'll watch one game.

Colby (42:39):
Yeah,

I'll watch one game

Colby (42:42):
yeah,

but don't expect me to stay the whole day

Colby (42:45):
thank you thank you

no

Colby (42:48):
because I was like that's a long day

.
Yeah, it's almost like you'reparading me as

Colby (42:54):
yeah, what am I like?

Yeah, I'm yours, yeah yeah, and that that rubs me
all kinds of wrong ways okay,

Colby (43:04):
but for a first date would you, for instance, go play
pickleball with someone?
I don't know if that's

I would you would, because I want to see how
challenged.
I want to see how athletic youare

Colby (43:18):
can you, can we make D1 babies?

Yes, that's essentially what I'm trying to
find out.
But also are you a sore loseror are you a sore winner?
I'm a sore winner, I mean soreloser.
Yeah, I am.
Really.

Colby (43:35):
You're both,

because I barely lose.

Colby (43:39):
Yeah, so that's a I don't know that I would want to do.
do that that would give a littlebit too much away about
yourself for your first date?
oh no, but you want them tohandle that, because that's you

yeah I'm not changing

Colby (43:54):
get on the bandwagon, baby, be able to handle me.
If you want me at my best, youhave to handle me at my worst.
Yeah, okay, fair okay

well, I mean, what about you?

Colby (44:12):
Uh well depends on the sport.

Yeah , just say, maybe not pickle
ball,

Colby (44:17):
but well, I'll tell you, I took someone skiing, got the
ick.
You can't be worse at it thanme.
You can be better than me, butyou can't be worse at it than me
, and I'm a good skier.
so, basically, this persondidn't know what they were doing
,

I was going to say I guess I would never be your
friend.
I'm glad I haven't gone skiingwith you.

Colby (44:38):
No, friends are different , friends are different, friends
are different.
I'm talking about a you'redating someone.
Okay, friends, whatever, I'llteach you the person you're
dating.
No, no, I don't think soimmediate

oh, my god, and I'm assuming they came off of.
They came off like they knewwhat they were doing.

Colby (45:03):
Yeah, of course.

Well, that's the problem, they were a liar.

Colby (45:09):
They were definitely embellishing.

Well, I mean, it is interesting to just kind of
think about the differencesbetween dating and being married
to those within your unit andthen those within your health
system, and I think both youhave to be mindful of.
Are they going to be blabbersand then tell your business to
any and everyone they see, orare they going to be

(45:34):
professional?
And then I think, and that's,are they children or are they
adults?

Colby (45:43):
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Are they mature?
Yeah, are they childs,
because.
I think it can be done as longas both of you are mature about
the relationship.
I think, ultimately, that'swhat you have to figure out in
the process of dating someone ifyou're intending to marry them
or if you're just dating, tojust date the pool.

(46:05):
Yeah, you just have to have open communication, which
isn't any relationship.
So it's good advice for whetheryou're dating a coworker or not
, but I feel like you need ifyou're going to be dating, you
need to know before you startdating what your intentions are.
And especially when you'redating a coworker, whether it's

(46:26):
directly on the unit orsomewhere else in the health
system, you need to communicatewhat your intentions are with
them early on.
So I feel like it's a littleaggressive sometimes first date
to be like what are yourintentions, but don't wait four
weeks and then be like, oh yeah,I'm just having a good time,

(46:47):
because that could really crushsomebody.

Yeah.

Colby (46:50):
Do you think four weeks is enough time?

To know what you're .

Colby (46:55):
I feel like if you're going to be dating, before you
start dating anybody, you needto know what your intentions are
going into it.

Yeah, so why not say it in the first date?

Colby (47:03):
you can.
I just feel like some peoplewould get scared off by that

why that's.
I think that is a problem thatpeople have in general.
Like, I think that is a problem

Colby (47:15):
okay I do I see what you're saying honestly, because
if that person, if it's on thefirst date and you're like I'm
dating, like with the intent forlong term and that scares them
off, then that's not the personfor you, right, okay, yeah, I
get it.
I get what you're saying.

But also I mean for the inverse if I'm just dating
to have fun, then you should beokay to know that I'm dating
just to have fun.

Colby (47:41):
Yeah Well, that gives the other person the option to
choose what they want to do,right.
But then again that could stillget tricky because someone
might say, okay, I understand, Iget that, I'm just going to
have fun too.
But then they.
Get feelings, get deeperfeelings.

Yeah, hard feelings .

Colby (47:57):
Yeah, and that's a risk that you run.

As long as you are Like.
If you set that standard in thebeginning, then that's not on
you.

Colby (48:08):
Yeah, I really need to take my own advice, because I'm
sitting here and I'm like ohshit, I don't think I've had
this conversation yet.

Well, it's hilarious, because what did you
say?
You said, and I don't know if Ican quote it, but you said
everybody should know theirintentions before.

Colby (48:29):
Before you even go out and date.

So why not express that already?

Colby (48:35):
Because people hate talking about it.

That is a problem.

Colby (48:39):
You're right, I should not be giving out any dating
advice right now.

I mean, I shouldn't either.
I'm not dating anyone, I'm notmarried.
I'm just as single as Pringle.
But you know, here I am Doctorfilling it up,

Colby (49:04):
learning the hard way, and I can provide lots of
education and knowledge thatI've gained from learning the
hard way with dating.

Well, there we go.

Colby (49:22):
And so can you.
So stop giggling,

you know I can.
I'm just you know.
That's right, you're right, allright.
It's time for what will be oneof our favorite segments
listener pulse.
This is where we hear directlyfrom you, our amazing listeners.
This week, we asked a questionor brought up a topic that
matters to nurses everywhere,and we wanted to hear you and

(49:45):
your thoughts, stories andexperiences.
Whether it's a funny shiftstory, a tough moment or advice
you wish you'd known sooner,this is your space to share.
Let's dive in to what ournursing community has to say and
, continuing along the theme,what's your views of co-workers
dating so?

(50:07):
let's see what we got we havequite a few different uh
responses oh exciting and um.
Do you want to?
Do you want to just go back andforth and read?

Colby (50:17):
them.
Okay, all right, I'm gonna likeshare our thoughts on what they
are sharing

okay, cool, that's what we'll do then we're doing
this on the fly.
So our first listener is briefrom raleigh, north Carolina,
who is a step-down nurse forthree years.
They said honestly, as long asit doesn't affect the patient
care or the vibe of the unit, Isay go for it.
I met my fiance on night shift.

(50:42):
We kept it professional at work, but now we're planning a
wedding.
Just don't be messy.

Colby (50:49):
Okay, see, I feel like she did it right.
She said we kept itprofessional.
Now we're planning a wedding,so people know that we've been
dating, probably at this point,and it worked out well for them
and I think that's great, andI've seen that.
I've seen that happen wherepeople meet and they did it the
right way.
They kept it professional.
For a long time no one knew thatthey were dating and then, you

(51:12):
know, it had at the point, thepoint of which, when everyone
started realizing that they hadbeen dating, it was legitimately
more than a year that's wild sothen at that point everyone was
just like it, like shifted intoeven though they're still not
married, but like it shiftedinto that anyways, because they
had already proven, basicallythey can handle it and not
making people feel awkward orwhatever

that right, there is a good.
I mean, that's, that's howyou're supposed to date in uh
yeah, if that's how you'resupposed to date you're dating a
co-worker.

Colby (51:41):
No one should even realize that you're dating.
Nope.
Okay, let's see what zach zachfrom san diego, he's a new grad
rn he wrote.
I feel like it gets complicatedfast.
I watched two nurses startdating on my unit and when they
broke up, one of themtransferred to another floor.
It was awkward for weeks, sopersonally I wouldn't risk it
unless it was really serious.
Well, we've experienced that aswell.

Well, luckily, mine transferred completely out of
the you, out of the healthsystem.
Yeah, before we broke up,though,

Colby (52:13):
but you also transferred to another

oh yeah, that's actually true, yeah

Colby (52:19):
for a similar situation ship?

yeah, yeah, the wonderful word situation ship

Colby (52:26):
I love that word just covers so many bases.
But yeah, no, that definitelywas and can be awkward it can be
, yeah, and that's a toughchoice to make too, like, and so
that's something else you haveto take.
You have to keep that in theback of your head and take that
in with you.
When you start dating aco-worker and like no one wants
to think about the negativestuff, like when you're freshly

(52:48):
dating someone, you're in thatlittle like love bubble, like
that love bombing bubble.
Love bombing is bad, but youknow what I'm trying to say.
I'm trying to say that's awful,yeah no, but you know, when
you're in that like ooey gooey,like I really like this person,
I just started seeing them like,oh, this is so exciting.
Right.
And you already probably dothink about these things because
you're analytical, but, likeyou have to also, in the back of

(53:10):
your mind, be cognizant of whatyou're willing to risk, because
if, for some reason, it wentbad, are you willing to leave
the unit?
Is that something that you'regoing to have to do, or they may
have to do?

It's funny yeah, both of, because I've only had
two that were in the actualhealth system, but both of them
I had an exit plan.

Colby (53:37):
Yeah, of course you did

Before I started,
that's so funny, I don't.
I got a hope and a prayer.
I knew.

Colby (53:47):
That I'd never see them again.

It's wild because I knew I already like I was like
okay, I can easily go totransplant, because I I knew
that I was already being kind ofscouted, quote unquote.
And then when they were, when Iwas on transplant, I was like
this will be my time to move toanother state yeah I already

(54:11):
knew

Colby (54:12):
wow, that's so funny.
Okay, but does that mean thatmaybe you're, maybe you were
dating someone that you or like?

no, I just

Colby (54:23):
it was just you being you

even my manager says when in a position, you
should always have an exit planyeah it's just good, it's not
saying you're gonna use it, butyou just have one, just in case

Colby (54:36):
yeah, I mean you.
You definitely like to playdevil, like you have to play
devil's advocate, especiallywhen you're dating someone on
the same direct unit.
You have to like be smart, besmart out there, when and now.
If you're dating outside of theunit or that person does
something else in the hospital,you have a little more like you
can.

(54:56):
Yeah, you can end things andnot see that person pretty
easily yeah with how ourschedules are with.
You know just how busy you areat work.
Like that's a lot easier tokind of go in with less of a
backup exit plan, but if you're,you probably still have one

ready, primed, done , um.
Next we have michelle, who is inboston and an icu nurse
co-worker.
Dating is fine, but please noflirting.
During report I had a chargenurse and a night nurse
practically making heart eyes ateach other while I was trying

(55:38):
to give SBAR Save it for afterhours.
I hope y'all know what SBAR is.

Colby (55:44):
Yeah oh, situation background assessment
recommendation.
That's handoff report baby, yes, yeah.
I'm really happy I pulled thatout, because I was like shoot,
what is that?
I know what it is.

I asked y'all because I didn't know.
No, I'm joking.
I'm joking, I'm joking, I'mjoking.

Colby (56:05):
Oh my gosh.
No, though, totally fair.
I have worked with people whoare totally googly-eyed for each
other and I just wanted to slapthem both upside the head and
be like do your job.

Well, I hate PDA in the first place.

Colby (56:19):
Hate it, but especially not in the place of work.

Right, I'm okay with the occasional hand-holding

Colby (56:28):
At work.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Colby (56:30):
Oh, you're talking, you're generalizing, but
definitely not at work.

No, definitely not at work.
Like, this is not the place.
This is work.

Colby (56:38):
Yeah, no, I don't no, leave me alone.
Right, don't even look at me.
No, at work, don't look at me.

I cannot.
That's not completely true.

Colby (56:53):
Just kidding.
You can look at me.

Tell me how good I look today.

Colby (57:02):
But do it quietly around the corners and no one else can
see.

Slide a note in.

Colby (57:07):
Slide me a note.
That's actually cute In thefifth grade, check yes or no, no
.
But

I cannot believe we just did that.

Colby (57:21):
All right, moving on to the next one, jordan from
Memphis.
They're a travel nurse.
Dating coworkers isn't new, ohsorry.
We're around each other morethan our own families, but y'all
better have boundaries.
I've seen breakups turn intoschedule wars.
Hr was not amused be grownabout it or leave it alone, okay
.
But also I would love to say,like as a travel nurse if you're

(57:44):
a little bit toxic, date away,just do it,

oh my god,

Colby (57:49):
just do it,

oh my god

Colby (57:52):
that's so fun

no, colby

Colby (57:56):
I'm a little bit toxic.

That is awful.

Colby (58:00):
I'm a little bit toxic.

I've never don't expect to don't expect a job at
my unit.
If you dare come in like that

Colby (58:07):
it's three months.
Honey.
What are you gonna do?
Cancel my contract.
I'm moving on to the next one.

We've done it before.

Colby (58:12):
For dating.

I don't know.

Colby (58:13):
Yeah, exactly, Come on.
If they're a really good nursebut they're just dating all of
your staff, but they're doingtheir job effectively and their
patients love them, you mightnot re-sign them.
Guess you're right, you can'tcancel someone for being a
player.
Not yet at least when I wastraveling, I was in a serious

(58:34):
long-term relationship.
You were, but if I wasn't, I'dbe dating, because it's no
strings Three months and you'reout.
Might as well have fun with it.
So I do have a completelydifferent view on it if you're a
travel nurse yeah,

(58:54):
see, I've never been a travelnurse
but if you are dating, but if you can be a travel nurse
and date intentionally andmaybe you're looking for a place
to settle down, that'ssomething different.
But my personal opinion is like, like I said, don't date
anybody that you work with,which I still stand.
I don't think I would ever dateanybody that I work directly
with.
I'm seeing somebody who worksin the health system, but I

(59:16):
don't work directly with them,so that's different for me.
But if I was a travel nurse,date whoever.
Date your turn team buddy.
Try to date the manager.
No, I'm kidding, try to dateall the single doctors do you

(59:38):
know I?
be crazy about it that's, that'sbold.

I am worried that at times, because I wouldn't say
I'm, I'm, I'm about a six toseven on the like attractive
scale and but I'm like you know,somebody could just come for me
because I'm in the position I'min oh and I'm like

Colby (01:00:03):
never thought about that interesting

Christopher (01:00:08):
yeah, I, I worry, there's your analytical mind
again.

Colby (01:00:10):
You're like are they just talking to me because I'm the
assistant nurse manager.
Darn, not again.
I ain't gotta worry about that.
Luckily they're like this girlanyways.
I'm like stay away, I don't wantto date you

we have sam from seattle who's a psych nurse, and
they said I say it's humannature people bond through
shared trauma and nursing hasplenty of that.
I just think both people needto be emotionally intelligent,
if not, it becomes a whole soapopera

Colby (01:00:45):
oh it like echoes everything that we've said

yeah

Colby (01:00:47):
like the shared thing, like we're all going through the
same stuff.
You're spending long hours witheach other.

I mean literally almost more than what you spend
with family.
It just depends.
And yeah, there's somethingabout trauma bonding Like it
just does.
It does.

Colby (01:01:07):
Okay, louise, ed Tech from Miami, let's be real, a lot
of y'all are already dating.
It's like nobody knows.
We know, everyone knows.
Just don't lie about it.
Own it and be professional.
The unit knows.
They always know.
They don't always know, thoughI will tell you, not everybody
always knows.
But that's funny as hell,especially being an ed tech.

(01:01:29):
You know the ED is sloppy, theED is sloppy, okay, so what is
it?
They say, like don't date thefour Fs.
And it's like oh wait,firefighters.
No, I mean the four Ps, butthen they spell firefighter with
P-H.

(01:01:55):
Maybe it's the police paramedichold on I feel like I need to do
the google, okay, because Idon't know.
Hold on, but no, that's sosloppy of the ed policemen,
physicians, paramedics andfirefighters spelled with a p
physician.
That is so freaking funny butthat is serious.
That is, that is like asomething that you I mean.
I see it everywhere on socialmedia

I'm sure you say this this guy does it.
Yeah, so why?
Why is it toxic?

Colby (01:02:24):
toxic police firefighteramedics Because
they're coming into the ED allthe time.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, all of those, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah,
all of those are coming intothe ED all the time.

Colby (01:02:36):
You know people in uniform.
Yeah, yeah, Back in honestlylike people find people in
scrubs really attractive.
People find uniforms really.
I mean, scrubs are a uniform,but it's spicy.
It's late hours, shared trauma,bonding, but a little bit
different from also lurking inthe hospital or being a cop.

(01:02:58):
It gets toxic down in the ED.
They're so sloppy.
That's why I thought that wasso funny.
We know you're dating, we allknow, don't lie about it.
Yeah, that's wild, really funny.
Okay, wait, I don't even knowwhere we're going next, but a
question just popped up into myhead and I want

hit me with it

Colby (01:03:20):
okay, let's say you're dating someone at the hospital
and then you find out thatthey're dating a lot of other
people also at the hospital, oreither concurrently or
previously.

Close previously.
Close previously.

Colby (01:03:40):
What do you do?

Well, it depends on what your intentions are in
this whole dating thing, andwell, I actually I take that
back.
It doesn't matter.
It depends on their response toyour asking them what their
intentions are.
If their intentions are to justkind of have a fun summer, then

(01:04:10):
cool.
You know, you've learned thatthat's your goal.
Or that's their goal yeah, ifthat's your goal, cool.
If not, you probably should gokeep it going.
If their intentions are for alonger term thing, you've got to
trust that they really want tobe long term.
If you want to be long term too,

Colby (01:04:31):
yeah, you have to go in with some trust again.
So it comes down tocommunication it does it's like
let's get on the same page here

were you thinking the same, or?

Colby (01:04:38):
Yeah, I am.
I think.
I think you have to know yourown intentions going into dating
and you have to know, like whatyou're willing to deal with
going into dating so if myintentions were something
different than they are.
So my just to reiterate you beclear my dating intentions
currently are I'm just datingthere's.

(01:05:02):
I'm not.
I'm meeting new people having agood time.
There's no long-term dating inmy wants or needs at this time.

Right.

Colby (01:05:21):
If I found out that someone was seeing other people,
right into it and we have aconversation, it's like, okay,
I've also.
Okay, how do you feel aboutrelationships?
That, how am I gonna put this?
I'm learning.
I'm let me just say this I'mlearning a lot about how people
in 2025 are dating.

(01:05:43):
Right now I feel like I in mypersonal dating history I've
been like a serial monogamist.
So like I go I usually when I'mdating, I'm dating with long
term intent, like when I firststarted dating people.
So I this is probably the at 32, my first time being like you
know what I just want to likemeet people and I don't want to

(01:06:04):
be locked down immediately.
I think I'm just reallyenjoying being single and my
independence and my privacy andwhatever.
So like I don't really want towelcome somebody in into that
right now.
Right in the past, I've beenlike I want a long-term partner.
So this is the first time I'vedated with this new intention
and in doing so, I'm learningabout situationships.

(01:06:27):
I'm learning aboutsituationships.
I'm learning about theconversation.
It's different to be exclusivewith someone, but not boyfriend
and girlfriend and then like,are we completely open?

So where's the question?
I don't know, okay.

Colby (01:06:45):
Your experience or what your opinion is on those things.
I think okay.
So, like prior to being in asituation such as the one I'm
currently in, I didn't reallyget the like.
I was like if you're exclusive,then you're dating, like I
don't get that.
But now I understand thenuances to all these little

(01:07:05):
pieces.

Would you care to explain at least the difference
between?
I was exclusive and dating orlike well, I think exclusive.

Colby (01:07:14):
Okay, so the my interpretation of the difference
between exclusive and actuallyhaving claiming that person as
your one and only partner is howmany sexual partners you are
having so like if you areexclusive.
Oh, partners you are having solike if you are exclusive, oh,
interesting.
You are.

You're one of the few that I'm having sex with.

Colby (01:07:37):
No, you are the only one I'm having sex with.

Oh, interesting.

Colby (01:07:41):
But you might be going on other dates and hanging out
with other people, but you'reonly having a sexual
relationship with one person,but you don't want to put a
title on it.
Isn't that annoying?
But also that's how I feelright now.
I don't want to put any titleson anything I don't know wow,

(01:08:04):
that's.

That's intriguing, for sure I.

Colby (01:08:08):
Isn't that weird?
That's how 20-25 dating is.

There's open relationships now.

Colby (01:08:13):
Yeah, there's people who are in emotional long-term
relationships, but then it'sopen sexually to other people,
which is.
I don't think I'd be down withthat.
To each their own.

Yeah, I'm impressed people can do it.
That's what I'm going to say.
I'm impressed people can do it.
That's what I'm going to say.
I'm impressed people can do it.
Oh yeah, so you know.
The last thing is just kind ofbriefly talking about, like,
what it's like to be single.
Not you anymore, I am Okay.

Colby (01:08:49):
I haven't had any conversations about exclusivity
or name.

You're right, but you just said I wonder why I
haven't had that conversationyet.

Colby (01:08:58):
The pros to being single.
There are too many for me togive up right now.
Okay, that was also aconversation I had.
I was told I was rich.
I said I'm not rich, I'm just asingle woman.

Yeah, I mean.
But also you do make decentmoney as a nurse who's single
and you get to do stuff.
Well, majority of you get to dostuff Like, you get to travel,
you get to have fun.

Colby (01:09:25):
We have a great schedule to do that.
If you're working, thetraditional 3-12s and then you
have all the days off, you cando so much.
If you're single, you havenobody to like not that you need
to answer to a partner, but youhave nobody to answer to.
If you want to go and dosomething, you go and do it.
You don't have to be like hey,just letting you know I was

(01:09:46):
considering this.

And even those that are in outpatient and doing
like clinic work.
You get weekends and holidays.

Colby (01:09:55):
Yeah.

Like that's pretty cool too.

Colby (01:09:57):
Honestly, it's really great to be single and be a
nurse.

Yeah, no, it's great.

Colby (01:10:01):
Have a ton of fun.

Same.
The cons to being single andbeing a nurse.
I need to push that paddleboard before I forget tonight.

Colby (01:10:08):
Yes, did you look at that ?

No, Before you leave.
You got to.
I don't know anything.

Colby (01:10:12):
We can look at them.
Cons to being

Speaking of spending money.
It's funny, colby is myexecutive assistant.
That's my official title shespends my money and saves my
money.

Colby (01:10:29):
I don't.
Let's be clear.
I don't spend his money onmyself.
I spend well in a roundaboutway.
In a roundabout way, I do spendyour money to benefit myself,
like you know.
What's a great idea you shouldbuy a paddleboard so that you
can go paddleboarding with me.

Or you know what's a good idea this five-day
mimicking.
Fast Tell me how it goes.

Colby (01:10:55):
You should try Prolon and let me know how it goes,
because if you enjoyed it, ifyou think it's okay, I'm going
to get it.
You know what's cool?
Dexcoms they make one calledStelo.
I have so many examples of this

the oura ring, the first one.

Colby (01:11:18):
It only took me like two years to get one after that,
okay, yeah, I do spend yourmoney, but it benefits both of
us.
It does, it brings us both alot of good things.

We have fun times together.

Colby (01:11:33):
We do.

Yeah.

Colby (01:11:34):
But yeah, so the cons of being single and being a nurse,
your random days and weekends,like your schedule while it
could benefit you, it could alsohinder your availability to go
out and meet people.
You have to work.
Holidays you have to work.
You know major and minor ones,which we've talked in the past,
but, like you know, people have.
People's value system on stuffis not the same, it's not.
It is not equal across the boardand like someone might really

(01:11:57):
really really like they're.
You know they're big, bigChristians and they have to.
Easter is a big deal for theirfamily.
You know what I mean Like,whereas myself I'm like, okay,
I'm working Easter, not a bigdeal Like versus working
Christmas or workingThanksgiving and New Year's Eve,
that sort of thing.

I will work every holiday except for Thanksgiving.

Colby (01:12:19):
And I will work every holiday except for New Year's
Eve.

There we go.

Colby (01:12:22):
Yeah, new Year's Eve is my holiday, yeah, and then when
you're also the cons like withboth of those things, it's just
it can be really hard to meetpeople, yeah, which is why a lot
of people end up dating theircoworkers because y'all are
doing the.
It goes back to that sharedspending so much time together.

True the fact that I feel like nurses have this
weird sense of like morbid Humor.
Yeah, like it's not necessarilylike humor, like we do some
humor, but we're just naturallya little bit more okay with

(01:13:02):
death.

Colby (01:13:03):
Oh, for sure.
We're just darker, we'redefinitely darker.
We didn't even talk about this.
When your partner can become apatient, or your.

Oh Lord, no, we don't have time for that.

Colby (01:13:19):
We're not going to get deep into that.
Yeah, I mean we are.

Overall, we're a very morbid dark humor group of
people and I think that can besomething that, like, steers
people away

Colby (01:13:34):
oh yeah, for sure I've gotten strange I mean even
responses been like wait you'renot vibing on my on my level.
Oh, shoot

my bad.

Colby (01:13:44):
That's the health care in me whoopsie.

But even people don't even like it when I say if
I die, I die.

Colby (01:13:51):
I don't like when you say that there's nothing wrong with
it.

It's nothing different than me saying YOLO.

Colby (01:13:58):
Yeah, but just I'd rather you say YOLO.

I'd rather not.

Colby (01:14:03):
YOLO's unserious.
If I die, I die.
It's just my brain's like.
I don't like that.

Immediately.

Colby (01:14:10):
Immediately.

Immediately no, nope, all right, I'm done.

Colby (01:14:17):
All right class dismissed .
That's a wrap for today'ssession of Nursing Lyfe 101.
We hope you found some usefultakeaways to bring back to the
floor.
Remember, nursing is a lifelonglearning journey and we're here
with you suffering.

Trying to find love .
Trying to find love.

Colby (01:14:32):
Trying to find love, trying to look for love.
Oh no, in all the wrong places,in all the wrong places.

Yeah, if you want to connect, find us on Twitter
at NurseLyfe101, or on Facebookat NursingLyfe101.
And don't forget to subscribeand share with fellow nurses.
Until next time, take care ofyourselves, keep searching the
dating pool and keep making adifference out there.

Colby (01:14:57):
Maybe don't date at work.

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