Oddball Guests: Lauren The Mortician

Welcome to a Very Special Episode of The Oddity Shop! In The Shop This Week we have a special guest: Tiktok's Very Own - Lauren The Mortician!!!

Lauren pulls back the curtain on the mortician's daily routine—a constantly shifting landscape far from the stereotypical gloom many imagine. From meeting with families and visiting cemeteries to performing embalmings and navigating the emotional terrain of grief, she finds purpose in helping people through their darkest moments. 

Yet it's her spiritual encounters that truly captivate: footsteps of a child echoing through an empty morgue at 2AM, mysterious banging on autopsy tables, and the compelling story of how her skeptical uncle encountered a grandmother's spirit at an accident scene—an experience that transformed even the most traditional funeral directors in her family.

Breaking from funeral service tradition that keeps preparation rooms shrouded in secrecy, Lauren believes transparency and education bring comfort to those facing loss. "When you know things, you feel better about whatever you're going into," she explains, embodying the perfect balance of reverence for the deceased and practical guidance for the living. Join us for this fascinating glimpse into a world most never see, where the boundary between life and death sometimes blurs in the most unexpected ways.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
I want to dance with the mothman at the IA shop,
bathed in the moonlight at theIA shop.
Creep through the graveyard tothe IA shop.
The door's always open at theIA shop.

(00:29):
Welcome back to the Oddity Shop, our little oddballs, the
podcast, where we talk about allthings creepy, odd, weird,
strange and bizarre.
I am sitting here with one ofthe lovely curators, cara Cara,
how are you doing today?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
I am doing extra fabulous today.
Do you want to know why?

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, you're looking extra fabulous, so tell us a bit
why.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Because we have a guest today, so we're going to
keep this intro short.
So I'm just going to introduceand today's guest has spent more
time with the dead than most ofus ever will.
You may know her from TikTok asLauren the mortician, the
embalmer and the voice for thevoiceless.
We are so excited to have youhere.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Hi, I'm so excited to be here.
I was really looking forward tothis all weekend.
I'm like yeah, yeah, and I waslike tell my husband, I just
love, I love your guys's vibe.
I've been watching you guys.
Everything that you talk aboutis so interesting to me.
I love when people are as opento different topics as you guys
are, so I'm just so excited tobe here.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Oh my God, oh my God.
Well, we're so excited you'rehere.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
You're not supposed to be complimenting us, we're
supposed to be complimenting you.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
But be complimenting us.
We're supposed to becomplimenting you, but, but
those topics are so fun because,like normal life and for most
people, probably a little lessso than your normal life, but it
can be so just boring andmundane.
So being able to just go downthe rabbit holes and suspend
some disbelief and just have funin like high strangers, you
know, just yeah exciting.
So that, though, lauren, do youwant to tell us like a little
bit about yourself?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, yeah, so my name is Lauren, as you said, I
go by Lauren the Morticianonline.
I started making content inabout 2020, when everybody was
stuck bored in the house and I'min the house bored, and my
first viral video I ever madewas about talking about working
in the morgue and how I wouldhave spiritual encounters in the

(02:24):
morgue and how I would havespiritual encounters in the
morgue, and I just remember theview count went crazy and people
are like well, wait a minute,why are you in a morgue at 2 or
3am?
And so it kind of just spiraledfrom there and people wanting to
know what happens after you die.
I am a licensed mortician.
I grew up in a funeral home andso this has always just kind of

(02:47):
been second nature for me.
So when people were sointerested in what I do, it was
so easy for me just to respondand answer their questions that
they're dying to know that maybethey're afraid to ask because
there's so much stigma arounddeath and that it's just not
talked about enough, and so Ireally found a really unique

(03:09):
niche and it's just so me andI'm so thankful to be where I am
today and that's kind of therest is history, that's so it's
so strange, though, like howit's like.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
You're like this is my normal life, but yeah, let me
tell everybody about it.
It's awesome.
I love it.
So, because you grew up, yourdad was a mortician as well.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Yeah, so my dad is still a mortician.
He's been a mortician for over32 years and my grandpa went to
school with him and they werethe first father son duo to
graduate from the University ofMinnesota.
Oh, I love that.
The mortuary program.
Yeah, so that's so cool, yeah.
And then my dad has a twinbrother and he's also a funeral

(03:48):
director.
And then my grandma, my grandmadoes flowers, funeral flowers.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
It's a whole family event.
I love it.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh my God, that's cool.
Did you always want to do that?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
No, absolutely not.
I remember growing up, uh, itjust felt like a second home to
me.
And you know, when you'regrowing up and you're a kid and
you're a teenager and you'relike I, you rebel and you're
like I don't want to.
I don't want to do what you do,I want to do my own thing.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Right.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
And so I remember my dad asking you know, do you want
to be, do you want to do whatdad does one day and I should be
looking into, or that I shouldbe doing?
Until I lost my cousin in highschool.
We were the same age.
My parents got divorced, so mymom and my dad are no longer
married.
That's a good thing.
It's a good thing, goodseparation.

(04:38):
My mom moved to Minnesota, dadstayed in Wisconsin and we moved
to be closer to cousins, and mycousin was the same age as me.
We went to the same high schooland in April, before we were
set to graduate in May, he tookhis own life and that was earth
shattering for me.
I had never.

(04:59):
You know, it's interesting whenyou grow up in a funeral home
and I've seen people that I knewin real life around town that
had died, and I was just like,oh, it's just something that
happens to other people, butthen when it happens to somebody
that you love, oh my gosh.
I will just never forgethitting the ground and being so
shocked that the world stillspun Because mine had ended,

(05:23):
mine had stopped.
It was like how do people keepgoing?
So I just remember looking athim in the casket and being like
he hated his hair like that.
Why did they do his hair likethat?
His eyes look sunken in.
Why does he look that way?
And it was a really tough timeand I went off to college.
I was going to be a dentalstudent and I was like I hate

(05:46):
everything about this.
So I dropped out of school.
My dad was ready to kill me.
I moved back home, I helped outat the funeral home for the
summer and I said, dad, I thinkI do want to do this.
And he's like really.
And I said yeah, and so then Iwent to mortuary school.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
That's.
That's a very sad story, but itshows your character, because
you want to be able to take careof people after they pass.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Yeah, and you'll find if you ever have coffee with
another mortician one day.
Most of us have some sort ofwhy as to why we got into this
or how it was even on our radarto do it doesn't seem like a job
, you just typically like fallinto like oh, what am I going to

(06:35):
major in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
That's how I got here and that's how I ended up with
the degree in mortuary science.
So when did you get the degree?
So how long have you been inthe field practicing and doing
the work you do?

Speaker 3 (06:44):
I graduated in.
It feels like forever ago, butit was 2015.
So it was 10 years ago.
Oh my gosh, I feel so old.
And then you have to go througha two-year apprenticeship and
then you get your licensure.
So I've been practicing for 10years, but fully licensed for
eight years.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Oh, okay.
So were you able to do theapprenticeship with the family
business or did you get to gocheck out others?

Speaker 3 (07:09):
So in mortuary school in your final semester you are
required to do a apprenticeshipat other places in order to
graduate.
So I had to go to two differentfuneral homes.
That was a great experience.
That was wonderful because Igot to see how other funeral
homes do it Just not just mydad's, yeah, and so I did that

(07:31):
for a while, and then yougraduate, and then I got to go
back to dad's and, honestly,that's where I wanted to end up
anyway.
So right.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
What is your day Like ?
What's the daily process ofbeing a mortician Like?
What if they're like?
What do you do when there'snothing to do or like?

Speaker 3 (07:48):
that's actually kind of my favorite part of the job
is it's not your typical nine tofive.
It's always something differentand you never know what your
week is going to be like,because one weekend you might
get five deaths in and then youmight be running around, running
around and then Monday comesand they all want to come in, so
then you meet with all fivefamilies.

(08:08):
Then Tuesday you might berunning out to the cemetery
because you need to get lastdate rubbings on all the stones
and then Wednesday you mighthave to do a few embalmings, run
the crematory, run people,their loved ones' ashes, that
when they're all done withcremation, their loved ones
ashes.
That when they're all done withcremation.
Thursday you're working acouple funerals and then Friday,
you know.
So it's.

(08:28):
It's always something different, and that that is.
I think I would go crazy if Isat at a desk Monday through
Friday, because I'm just so usedto to.
One of the things I didn'treally realize is how much
driving you do to the job islike 50% driving, because we
always have to have somebody todrive around to go get people
and where the funeral home is,we are kind of out there and

(08:55):
people hospital a few hours awayand they die there, so then we
have to drive to go get them andbring them back.
Or all their family I didn'teven think about that, yeah, or
they're all buried in small townUSA.
Uh, all their family is buriedin small town usa, so then they
die out of state but they wantto come back, so then we have to
arrange that whole process.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
It's very interesting , okay, wow I can only imagine
what would happen, because I youhave to be highly organized to
be able to do that, like if youleft that planner somewhere and
somebody opened that up like OK,Monday, we're running to the
hospital.
Tuesday Great, oh God, it'd behilarious.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
No, you do and you know it's also a team effort.
If you don't have a good team,it's not going to flow right.
So you need somebody answeringthe phones in the office and you
need another director becauseyou can't do it alone.
It's, it is a lot and it can bedraining because it's again,
it's not your normal nine tofive.

(09:51):
I don't get to.
Just you don't just punch outat five if there's another death
call to go on.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Right, and I imagine not just like physically
draining, but you're dealingwith people at some of the worst
days of their life, right?
So the emotional and drainingwith that, what do you do to,
like, protect and guard yourself?
I?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
was just gonna ask that.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, you know, I think the big reality is that
when you're running all the time, you kind of put yourself on
the back burner and it's why Idon't do it full time anymore,
because I was running, running,running and carrying everybody
else's stress and it can be alot to manage when you have kids

(10:33):
and then you're trying to runfor them and you just start
getting pulled in multipledifferent directions.
I don't really have the bestanswer to answer that, because I
think I just busy myself somuch and I just know that people
need me and I can't be stuck inthat grief.
And another part of it is thatthey're paying the funeral home.

(10:54):
They're paying me essentiallyto help them, to take them by
the hand.
So it's not about me or mygrief or how I'm going to get
through it.
I need to help them get throughit.
So it's a lot ofdecompartmentalizing so that you
can mentally show up and bethere and be present.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
That makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, I feel like that would be very tough,
especially so do you still workwith your dad.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yep, I do.
It's not full time.
Yeah time, I don't have time,especially between us girls,
especially with the contentcreation and such.
It's like I kind of have to pickmy battles on what am I doing,
where do I see myself, where amI going?

(11:37):
And I think I've found suchpurpose in education and helping
.
I mean, I just get the nicestmessages from people and they're
like hey, I'm going to mortuaryschool.
You taught me about what itmeans to be a funeral director
and I really want to do that too, and I think I give people hope
that if I can do it, so can you, and I truly mean that if you
find this line of workinteresting, you're going to

(11:58):
love school.
Oh, I loved mortuary school andthe job is just.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
I love the job loved mortuary school and the job is
just, I love the job.
So I wish I would have met youwhen I was like a teenager,
because Zach always was like whywould you want to own a funeral
home in a cemetery?
I'm like I don't know.
I always, have always wantedthat.
I still say to this day I wantto own that.
I just want to do that.
But I think, like you said kindof earlier, it's like nobody
wants to talk about this stuffand it's weird.
And if you tell somebody saidkind of earlier, it's like

(12:25):
nobody wants to talk about thisstuff and it's weird.
And if you tell somebody,especially since I guess, like
for you, you kind of grew upinto it but if I were to just be
like, yeah, mom, I want to goto mortuary school, she'd
probably be like what the hellis wrong with you?

Speaker 3 (12:36):
I want to work at a cemetery or do a cemetery thing
like oh my gosh girl, you should, you could do it now.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
A lot of those are volunteer run.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Oh really, yeah.
So they don't have a lot ofthem, not the big, big ones, but
a lot of the little ones, likeespecially in I'm not sure where
you guys are located, but wherethe funeral home's at.
We have, oh my gosh, like 50cemeteries, and they're all
smaller.
So somebody needs to mow thelawn and care and maybe plow the
snow, and so it's a lot ofvolunteer work.

(13:05):
You could totally findsomewhere to help out with.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Oh, I'd be driving around all the time just driving
through cemeteries.
Yeah, yeah, all the time.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
I should just like pop in and be like hey, yeah,
and you know, you could.
Even you could sell headstones,you're associated with the
cemetery.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
And hey, you want to buy a plot?
I also sell headstones.
It could be a way.
That's how you make money.
Oh, there you go, carol, newcareer calling.
Now that's gonna be anotherhobby.
Add it to the list.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Oh my god, that's so cool I think it's so cool,
though, like that, that you'reable to take a step back from
the as much of the day-to-day asthe mortician right because the
that education piece and thecontent creation is so freaking
important.
Like when I told my family thatwe were talking with you, my
mom and my sister, who are bothum, they they've been on

(13:54):
volunteer fire departments andemt and stuff right, but they're
like we love her content, wedigest it all the time.
It's like for them who kind oflive in that same you know maybe
macabre isn't the right wordfor it of the world, but that
you know places that most peopledon't get to see.
They're like she talks likethings like our normal dinner
table.
You know, it's like you justnormalize it in a way that I
think even helps people who dosimilar sort of work that you do

(14:17):
feel almost recognized.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Oh, I love that, yeah , and I also just feel like the
education piece, like you weresaying, is definitely your
calling.
I think you do such a great jobabout it.
But even like just watchingyour videos and like you can
tell, like through your comments, that people are like I never
would have thought of it thatway, or I don't wouldn't have
viewed this this way, and it'sjust very interesting.
And I think the next time,unfortunately, they have to be
at a funeral or whatever they'regoing to be thinking about the

(14:41):
things that you taught them,which I think does make people
feel better, because knowledgeis power.
When you know things, you feelbetter about whatever you're
going into.
So I think it is reallyimportant what you're doing.
Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah, there's like this.
It's like a veil or a curtain,right, we talked about like the
veil with death, right, butthere's also a veil for funeral
service and the older generationof funeral service.
If they listen to this, don'tget mad at me, I'm just telling
you, like it is, they don't likewhen people know what happens
behind closed doors.
There's still that wholegeneration where they think that

(15:13):
we should not talk up.
The prep room is sacred, whichI agree, but that we should not
talk about it, it should not beshared, we shouldn't do any of
those things, and I just I don'tagree with that.
We shouldn't do do any of thosethings and I, I just I don't
agree with that.
I think it gives people morecomfort to know, to take away
the mystery and to just make ita more normal conversation,
because death is normal and forsome reason, as a society, we've

(15:34):
really, like gotten away from I.
I don't know if it's thetechnology, I don't know if it's
trying to shelter everybodyfrom harsh realities.
Maybe that's why we find truecrime so interesting.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
You're kind of peeking behind that.
What was the moment for youthen?
That was like, okay, screw theold guard and their way of doing
things.
I want to make this content, Iwant to put it out there how did
you come to that decision?

Speaker 3 (16:06):
I think that people that listened to my content and
left such nice comments and saidthat I helped them is really
where their opinions took abackseat.
For me, and when you do thisfor a job and you are working on
people that are the same age asyou or younger, and you see how
quickly your life can change inthe blink of an eye, that
person woke up that morning.
That person put their makeup on, they took a shower, they got

(16:29):
ready and they thought they weregoing to end up in their bed at
the end of the night and theydidn't, because they died
tragically.
And when you're around thatconstantly, your I don't give a
fuck button is broken.
Oh, I'm sure, oh yeah, it justlike breaks because you're like
you know what I'm just gonna do,what makes me happy and what

(16:51):
makes me feel like I havepurpose, and so that's not.
They definitely talk shit aboutme in the funeral director
group.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Listen.
If people aren't talking shitabout you somewhere, you are not
living life.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
Like some of the content creators are people that
I've had the honor of gettingto know through this.
Like the bigger ones, they saythe same thing.
It's so funny they have such anice outlook on it.
One gal said I commented on howcool of a fridge she had.
I was at her house.

(17:20):
I'm like you just have thecoolest refrigerator.
She goes well.
If you get enough haters, youtoo can have a really cool
refrigerator.
I'll just never forget that.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
It's so true we had I mean, this is probably like
what two years ago or something,we had some.
Yeah, it was about six monthsin.
Hate comment.
I don't even remember when itwas what it was about.
It didn't even matter.
I was so excited that somebodywas so bothered by something
that we said I was like we madeit, I think we made our first
tiktok after that about wakingup to hate mail like I think

(17:51):
that was our final, when wedecided okay, we'll show our
faces that was so funny.
We're like what the okay?
Like, why are you so botheredby what we said?
And what we said wasn't evenanything crazy, it was just we
pissed off some trap uh treasurehunters oh my, okay, I think
that was the last thing.
I expected you to say some yeah,no, it was we were talking

(18:11):
about fend's treasure, which isa great rabbit hole to go down
if you haven't, but there are alot of people who are still have
very strong feelings on bothsides of basically we were
making comments about how wethought he was a piece of shit
human, because, I'm sorry, ifyou hide something in, uh, the
wilderness, where it'simpossible to find and people
are dying trying to find it, youshould probably just be like

(18:32):
you know what, let me do theright thing, and I'm just gonna
go grab it and be like you knowwhat, never mind, I don't want
anyone else to die.
And so we were just sayingstuff like that and like
somebody got so mad at us.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh, yeah like he was a great man and we're like okay
yeah, like, okay, that's youropinion, we're over here with
ours.
You go talk about it somewhereelse.
Yeah, you know, what'sinteresting is the different
platforms.
You'll get totally differentcomments.
Yeah, facebook, oh my gosh, youget the the more like the
boomers over on facebook andthey don't give a fuck, keisha
they, they're like nope.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
It actually is really funny.
It's sort of entertaining.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
It's so entertaining.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I love Facebook groups so much I love the
Instagram groups, tiktok's.
Like the Wild West, you neverknow what you're going to get.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Oh yeah, I feel like TikTok, we usually get a little
bit more supportive.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, we actually haven't had too much negative on
there or any actually.
No, we were laughing the otherday.
My, so my dad is a woodworkerand he started doing more
mystical and metaphysical things, so he started selling spirit
boards and he got the whole uh,like two paragraphs on facebook
about you know, jesus saves andyou need to pay attention to him
and you're going down a darkpath.
He's like I think I think I'mdoing the right thing I want to
buy a spirit board oh my gosh,we'll send you the link.

(19:47):
But yeah, no, it's fantastic hedoes that, and my mom's a church
secretary who is also apracticing witch.
Like the way you're able tomeasure all those like things
together.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
You know, it's so fun oh my gosh, christmas time at
your house has to be a hoot, noit's so much fun oh my gosh, we
get the coolest things from hisparents no, they're amazing I
love it so much.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
They're so cool yeah, every holiday I get a goodie
bag from his mom.
I'm trying like I have so muchstuff around me that I could
show you, but I get a goodie bagof like uh, tarot cards or like
palm reading cards.
I have so much stuff from her.
And then his dad's just alwaysmaking us these cool woodworking
thing.
I I'm like, oh, my God, that's,we're the ones who are like.
You should probably startselling this stuff.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
We're definitely a weirdo family, you know it makes
life more fun.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
You know I, you know what I love about that.
I feel like with religion, ifeverybody you're, you're either
in or you're out, and I think itjust normalizes the fact that
you can still believe in God andbelieve that there's heaven,
and still be into that stuff andbelieve that it just holds.

(20:53):
No, a spirit board is not goingto send you to hell and a um, a
tarot card is not going to sendyou to hell, and I think that
just makes them all all thecooler because I mean, at the
end of the day, whether you'rerich or religious, you're doing
rituals to talk to a higherpower you know it's it's all the
same, it's just.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
What front did we put on it?
Yep, exactly, yeah, very cool,oh my gosh speaking, though, of,
like you know, mystical andspiritual things, and that we,
we know you get down with that alittle bit too, and you've had
some instances, so tell us about, maybe, about maybe the more
spiritual side of your job, ifyou want to share.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
You know, yes, I want to share.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
I'm never going to force you to tell stories, but
we want to hear them.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
I have had.
You know, I grew up in afuneral home.
I think I've said that allthree times.
But with that and you're around,death and it's kind of it goes
hand in hand.
I am a very big believer,because I've seen it, that when
we die we can follow our bodiesaround after.
I don't believe that they hangaround for long because you'll

(21:57):
feel that like heavy, you'llfeel that they're there and then
after the funeral it'll likelighten up, like as if somebody
opened the curtains and thelights shining in again.
It's a really unique phenomenon.
I want to call it yeah.
It's really cool, though.
But when I first started incollege I used to do what
they're called is it's cornertransports.

(22:18):
So my job as a mortuary studentis I worked at a funeral home.
I lived above the funeral homeand the deal was that I got to
live there for free but I had tobe on call and work visitations
.
So I was on call.
Our funeral home had a verylarge contract with a medical
examiner's office.
So it's not like the movieswhere the coroner comes and they

(22:42):
got the van and they got thecots, and you know, it might be
that way in California, but it'snot that way in most states.
So they contract that job out.
So they talk to funeral homesor removal companies and they
say, hey, you have the equipment, you have the staff, you have
the people and everything and weneed help.
Would you meet the medicalexaminer at the crime scene or

(23:03):
at the scenes of where the deathhas occurred and transport the
body back to the morgue?

Speaker 1 (23:08):
I guess I never realized you went on scene.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
So you know, sorry to like interrupt, but, zach, I
felt I thought I told you this.
My brother actually used to dothat in high school because his
friend's parents own a cemetery.
But I lived I didn't live nearhere anymore, like I had moved
out of state, otherwise Iprobably would have been doing
it too.
But he did that.
He would go and like collectbodies and he's just like, yeah,
it's kind of weird, butwhatever, getting paid, I'm like

(23:32):
, okay, here's just this highschool kid and his friend like
picking up bodies at least youknow your ride is gonna be
quieter than being an uberdriver yeah, yeah oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
But but that's the job, that's the that's.
That's what the job was and Iremember talking to my dad about
it.
He goes.
You know, I think it'd be agreat job for you because you
think of all the experience youget, because it's it's nightly
calls, it's sudden deaths,homicides, suicides, accidental
work related.
I went to a prison one time.
So I mean, it's, it's verysudden deaths.

(24:07):
Car, did I say, car accidents,car accidents, yeah, I'm sure,
and uh.
So it gave me a lot ofexperience hands on.
But one of one of the thingsthat I didn't really think about
was the fact that there wouldbe minors too, that things,
accidents, happen.
And one night I had to go on acall for a child that had died

(24:29):
and I transported her back tothe morgue.
And when I get to the morgue myjob is to roll them out of the
van.
I bring them in.
There's like a receiving areawith a table and there's a
weight.
I'm supposed to take theirweight and then log them in the
book.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
So I roll my cot up to the table, unzip my cot as
like a little pouch that holdsthe person inside with the body
bag, and so I go around thetable, I pull them over onto the
table, I take the weight, I goback over to the book and I
start logging in Now.
At the time that I finally madeit to the morgue it was
typically late because I workednights and weekends as a student

(25:09):
and I'm logging the name in thebook it's 2am and all of a
sudden I heard footsteps comingdown the hallway.
And you know in that momentwhere you just start thinking
and you're like, oh, somebody'shere.
But then you start thinking alittle deeper and you're like,

(25:30):
wait a minute, there was no carsin the parking lot.
It's 2 am, Nobody's here, so Ijust stop writing and I'm
listening and the footsteps comeand they stop when, and all the
hair on the back of my neckstood up and I realized in that
moment that the footstepssounded really light, like as if

(25:53):
it was a child and they weretrying to sneak up on me.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Oh, I'm going to start crying.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
They stopped, they stopped and you could hear me
breathing.
I mean, I couldn't move, I waspetrified.
I just stood there and theyspun on their heel and they ran
back down the hallway and Istood there for a little bit
longer.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, oh, I don't blame you.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
And when I finally got the courage up, I turned
around.
Nothing was there.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
And.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
I just very calmly rolled, rolled the table into
the cooler and I left, and theamount of times I have tried to
convince myself that that didn'thappen is insane.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
I'm that same way with, like, I'll listen to and
believe anyone else's personalstories, but I, like I almost
tried to recount those memoriesto be like, Okay, what did I
hear wrong?

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah, you try to debunk it.
You're like that's not right.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Oh my gosh, no, but I mean, yeah, it was probably
like just an acknowledgement,right?
Yeah, I'm still here.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
My, my best friend is a psychic medium and I asked
her.
I said why?
Why do you think that?
That?
I mean, I immediately told herabout everything that's ever
happened to me in my life.
And she said Well, you know,that could have been the spirit
more than likely was the spiritof the little girl, and if you
would have sat down on the floorand told her it was okay to

(27:13):
come to you, she probably wouldhave shown you what her last
moments were like, because shewas trying to connect with you.
Connect, yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
What an amazing pairing, though I'm more
mortician and a psychic likethat to help you get through
your job.
Having somebody like that totalk to, oh my gosh, that would
be a fantastic tv show I callher all the time.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
What a duo.
I'm like there's somebody here,what do I do?
And she goes amazing, let mefeel.
Let me feel I'm like, okay,okay oh my god, that's so funny.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
That is what that's incredible, though.
So funny, that is incredible,though.
That is such a great duo.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Oh my gosh, I'll tell you one more, if you want to
hear.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Oh yeah, please keep going.
I lost everything.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
Hold on.
I cracked my.
Okay, I'm out of my drink.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
This is how we know you're a pro, though, because
you didn't crack it mid-sentence, you've done this before.
We appreciate you mid-sentence.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
You've done this before.
We appreciate you, okay.
So another night that I went, Ihad to go on a call for a woman
who had died and she hadoverdosed, and it was actually
really, really sad because her,her dad, found her and there was
a child that was alone in thein the house and it was this
gosh, she was okay, every, every, every.

(28:29):
I don't remember if it waslittle boy, little girl, but
everybody, everybody was.
It was okay.
Um, so thankfully it was withina relatively quick time frame
because, uh, rigor mortis wasactually still set in and, if
you didn't know, rigor mortis isa chemical reaction that occurs
in the body.
It it sets in within a fewhours after death.
It comes and then it goes, soit passes.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Oh, I find that I always, every time I hear that,
I find it so fascinating and Idon't know why it never stays in
my brain.
But when somebody or I hearsomething about rigor mortis,
again I'm like it's so weird.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
I guess I didn't realize it goes.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yep, it comes and then it goes.
So random, random squirrelmoment the Pope I had people
arguing with me that he wasn'tembalmed and that it was rigor
mortis.
And I'm like no girl, it's notrigor mortis, because he's been
dead a long time and that'salready over, right?

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, I watched.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
I watched those ones.
See, those were good, I wasfighting for my life.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Fighting for my life.
I love it.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Okay, anyway, sorry what was okay, so, so anyways
we'll set.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
We're coming back now .

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Sorry, coming back.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
So I, I show up to the scene, we, we load her into
my van and I drive to themedical examiner's office a few
hours away.
And by the time I get there,guess what time it is?

Speaker 1 (29:39):
2 am 2 am hey.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Hey me and 2 am, that's your hour and I'm nervous
going in there because I hadhad the footsteps already and I
just it almost feels likesomebody's watching me.
Every time I would go in thereI could feel eyes just staring
at the back of my head, but Iignored it.
I tried to tell myself I wasgoing crazy and I had even
talked to my dad about it.

(30:02):
He's like, oh, you're sleepdeprived, it crazy.
And I had even talked to my dadabout it.
He's like, oh, you're sleepdeprived, it'll be okay.
So I told myself I'm just tired, it's going to be okay.
So I roll the cot in up to thetable, the autopsy table and I
decided that I you know, it wasa long drive and I needed to go
to the bathroom and they had abathroom, little water closet,

(30:22):
or whatever you call it rightoff of the receiving area, which
is super convenient when youhave to go really quick.
So I ran in there, shut thedoor and I am doing my business
and all of a sudden I hear threeloud bang, bang, bang.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Oh, I would much rather have footsteps.
Oh God, I would thinksomebody's like a body wasn't
dead and they were breaking outor something.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
I was so scared I stopped peeing midstream.
I'm sitting there like what thefuck was that and where the
sound had come from.
Was it?
Sounded like the autopsy table.
It was right there on the otherside of the door.
Sounded like the autopsy table.
It was right there on the otherside of the door and she, her
body, was not on that table.
Nothing was by that table.
Nothing would make that.

(31:10):
It sounded like a punch on thetable three times wow, oh, and
it's.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
At least your pants were already off because it's
almost like a metal, like ametal table right so it's like a
distinct, like sound and itlike it does.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
The shake too, like the I don't know that word where
the table shakes.
I know exactly what you'retalking reverberate is that?

Speaker 2 (31:36):
yes, yeah, that sounds good to me.
Yep, oh my god, I would havelost my mind so how long did you
hide out in the bathroom?

Speaker 3 (31:43):
A solid 10 minutes.
A good solid.
I was having a panic attack.
I'm like, okay, okay, whatcould that have been?
Okay, okay.
I remember standing thereholding the doorknob and
thinking did I miss a car in theparking lot?
Is somebody here?
Is somebody messing with me?
I walked out there and nobodywas there.

(32:05):
There was nobody in the building, and so I ran, I very quickly,
I pulled her over, I signed herin and I ran to put her in the
cooler and I ran out of thebuilding and I, to this day, I
think I have come up with theconclusion that she was mad that
she had died because I wouldhave been pissed too, and it

(32:25):
furthered my belief that wefollow our bodies after we die.
So I don't really think thatmorgues are haunted.
I think that people are justpassing through.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, which I feel like that makes sense.
Yeah, that would make the mostsense, because who would want to
hang out there?

Speaker 1 (32:39):
And you're dealing with so many of like the, like
you said, the accidental is orthe unexpected.
Right they're, they're probablyone, confused, and two, they
know their family is all goingto be gathering there, so it
makes sense that the spiritwould go kind of just like you
would if your own family memberdied.
Okay, these are the naturalnext steps and what we do yep,
yep, wow.
So you said that your dad toldyou hey, it's sleep deprived and

(33:01):
that sort of thing.
Right.
And so now, after you'veaccepted that there might be
some paranormal, highly strange,strange things going on, has he
come out with any experiencestoo, or are you just like the
one who's opened up to it?

Speaker 3 (33:12):
I have another story, but it's kind of long.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Okay, we got all the time in the world.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Before you.
Maybe this will go into yourstory, but I did.
Did I read or I watched that?
You did say that your dad and Iloved it, so I'm paraphrasing.
But it was something like hetold you to be more afraid of
real people than the, than theghosts, cause they're not going
to hurt you.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Right.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Okay, yeah, cause we always say that, zach and I, I
am more afraid of people thanany paranormal thing that him
and I experienced, like I ammore afraid of people any
paranormal thing that him and Iexperience like I am more afraid
of people.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yes, yep, yep, I think my my friend, my my medium
friend, um which, if you don'tfollow her, you should her name
is the Bolesky is her name.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
Is that the one that you you hid um ashes somewhere
in her?

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yes, I did.
Okay, I had a man on theinternet send me his mother's
ashes.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yes, that is a dark sense of humor we love.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
She hid them in her house.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
That is amazing.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Before somebody comes for me.
She was a terrible person inlife and her son was selling the
ashes on a Facebook odditiespage and he was trying to make
back the money he had to pay tohave her cremated.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
I think it's great.
Hey, you got to do what you gotto do.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
He's like she was not a nice lady.
I'm mad.
I had to pay for this.
If you want a part of her, thisis my revenge on my mom and I
wish she was a better person,but this is therapeutic for me
to sell her.
So here we go.
Amazing, I love it, it's his,you know what it's his thing?
I love it too.
And so, anyways, she lives withme rent free, and I just
brought her.
I brought her over to myfriend's house on a little field

(34:44):
trip, and so she's theretemporarily until I go back and
pick her up.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
That's amazing.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Sorry, I feel like we keep going on tangents, but
okay, well, yeah, we willsquirrel brain, yeah, but it's
fun.
It's fun, it's all good story,so it doesn't matter.
Okay, but what was your otherstory?

Speaker 3 (35:05):
You're just gonna tell us.
So I don't talk about this onetoo often because it's a little
long.
I'll try to not not have it beso long, but and it's an
experience that happened tosomebody else it's not my
experience, but my dad's twinbrother is also a funeral
director and when I say my dadand my uncle dude, they're like,
oh, you're just imaginingthings, it's not.
It's not not a big deal.
We don't believe in theparanormal.

(35:26):
We were raised Lutheran andthis is just not what we believe
in.
And one day so my uncle.
He had to go on a funeral andso he loaded his staff up and
they had three vehicles.
They had the hearse, they hadthe flower car and they had the
lead car, which is usually justanother minivan, and it was him,

(35:46):
his wife, and they had a thirdstaff member with them.
I don't remember her name,we're going to call her Lucy.
They're out in the sticks.
It's dirt roads all the way upto this church.

(36:07):
And they get to the church andthey look and Lucy's gone and
they're like, well, I wonderwhere she's at.
She's not here.
We'll just get set up and thenwe'll try to find out where she
went, because she was rightbehind him.
But the dirt road kicks up somuch dirt they're like, oh,
maybe she missed the turn.
They're like where could shehave gone, oh gosh.
So my uncle got back in the carand he turns around.
He's like, well, I'm going togo find her because she's not

(36:28):
answering her phone.
And he goes down the road, afew intersections and he finds
her.
She had been T-boned by apickup truck that did not see
her because they had kicked upthe dirt going through the
intersection oh my God, and ithad hit her on the driver's side
and she had kicked up the dirtgoing through the intersection.
Oh my God, and it had hit heron the driver's side and she had
ended up in the ditch.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Oh, I have such goosebumps right now.
So he immediately pulled over,got out of his car, ran.
He had to run to the passengerside because he couldn't get to
her from the driver's sidebecause it was so mangled.
He opened the door and she'ssitting in the driver's seat and
she's going and he's panickingand he's trying to undo the

(37:11):
seatbelt and he's trying to gether out and he's trying to say
her name and trying to wake herup and just trying to do
something.
And all of a sudden, this womanshows up and she's standing at
the hood of the car and she goeswhat are you doing's?
And?
And he says I'm trying to saveher, can you help me?
I'm trying to get her out ofthe car.
And this woman says no, she'sgonna be fine, everything's
gonna be okay.
Just just leave her be, it'sgonna be okay.

(37:33):
And he looked back to lucy andhe looked back to her and she
was gone whoa and he.
You know he was in such a panicon trying to get lucy out of the
car.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, you're right, you're not even thinking.
Where did this person come from?

Speaker 3 (37:47):
Nope, he's like whoop , she's gone, she left, so then
he's still.
He thought maybe she went overto the other car or something.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Or to help or something.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
So Lucy didn't make it, lucy did die and my uncle
ended up getting the funeral.
Um, they, they had.
The funeral was probably a weeklater and so the family came in
and they're sitting and they'remaking arrangements and they
had brought pictures in for thefuneral to put up on the picture

(38:17):
boards oh, I knew you weregonna say this and he looked at
the pictures and it was hergrandma.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
That is amazing, though, just like your family is
like coming back to help you.
Yeah, wow, I have tears too,that is.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
I know it makes me cry too, that's that's wow.
He said that it was like, likehow I'm talking to you or how,
if you're in public and there'ssomebody just standing there,
yeah, he couldn't see throughher.
She was there, like she wasn'tjust an apparition, or like she
really looked like somebody hecould have reached out and
touched, and I think that it wasjust such.

(38:55):
Oh, I just have goosebumps allthe way from my head to my toes,
no matter how many times I talkabout this story yeah, I have a
lot of goosebumps.
When people are near death, theytalk about how angels come and
visit them, or how their lovedones are there, and I don't
believe that they'rehallucinations.
I believe that that is verytrue, and this story shows that,
because she was trying to tellmy uncle that it's going to be

(39:17):
okay.
She's going to be okay, butshe's coming with me and I'm
here, and the family.
My uncle told them, he told themthat it was her, and they all
cried.
Everybody, everybody was crying.
There was not a dry eye inthere, and I think it brought
them a lot of peace.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Oh, I'm sure that's incredibly brave of him to tell
the family that story, Cause youdon't know in that instance how
how they're going to react tothat.
And I'm so glad that he did,though, because he could have
withheld that comfort to protect.
You know just the reaction.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Yep, wow, yep, that's a.
Really that wasn't even longthat was a good story.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Ooh, my kid is in here and he keeps laughing.
Can you hear him?

Speaker 1 (39:55):
At first I've heard little bits of it, but listen,
no, hold on.
No, it's not, don't worry aboutit.
This is not the most I can getrid of a bunch of it.
We would like it to be more rawand fun and have your kid
around than care about anythinglike that.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
He's playing Luigi's Mansion, oh.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
A good game.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
And it's like his favorite thing in the whole
world and he's probably on apart where he thinks it's
hilarious and my husband is withthe other kid and they're
outside.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
Do not even worry about it.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
We would much rather have.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, I don't care, you know, it'd be just like
really realistic and okay.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
So at first I at first I heard it like this, like
a faint scream, but that's notthe first time we've had faint
screams on a podcast, and it notactually be a child, so I was
just thinking that we were okay,this was whatever, a really fun
one.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
We were about to start recording with a guest, we
hear screaming.
We're talking about the screamand it was like just kind of how
you jumped into the umrecording.
He jumps in.
We're like, oh my gosh, we werejust hearing, you know, like
this scream noise, trying tofigure out if our window was
open.
He goes uh, so you guys knowhow I'm related to lizzie borden
.
It wouldn't be the first timewe've heard her spectrally
screaming before.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
I'm like oh okay, he goes.
It happens all the time with me.
You'll just yeah, uh, thatepisode, I think, is already out
, right?
Yes, yeah, sam's.
Yeah, yeah, it's.
It was crazy, I don't.
I don't know if you could hearit in the recording, though no,
because it was before it was.
You and me were on it camethrough, and then he jumped on.
So but he's like no, we gottastart recording earlier now yeah

(41:24):
, he's like, he's like I hearher screaming all the time.
I'm like, oh, okay, all righty.
Then I'm like well, I guesswe're not talking about lizzie
borden, because I don't want herscreaming at us anymore.
Oh my god anyway.
So zach does not like kids,he's lying I still think they're
cute trying to like kids.
He's gotten so much better.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
That's like me with cats.
I love cats.
This is not at my house.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
There you go, see.
You take care of the kids, I'lltake care of the cats.
We'll make the world go around.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
But if your kids are like sarcastic, like Zach loves,
like, a sarcastic kid, asarcastic, a sassy kid I'm
golden.
If they a sarcastic, a sassykid, I'm golden.
If they're like, all wellbehaved I just don't know how to
.
He doesn't know what to do.
I'm like I can't.
Oh my god, all right, sorry.
Now we see we get off on allthese tangents.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
I know it's what we're best at.
Okay, so it with, like some ofthe, the spiritual things that
go on around there too.
Do you do anything like tocleanse or or help the spirits
move on between things, or doyou, are you more of just the
observer, like what?
What kind of role do you takein that?

Speaker 3 (42:32):
I.
I think now I've, when thingshappen, I'm not as jumpy or as
nervous.
Now I think it just took a fewtimes to kind of realize that I
might be, because I'm open to it.
I think I might be a light forthem on.
They're just trying to findsome sort of way to connect.
So for me I might just, youknow, take a couple of deep

(42:53):
breaths and I talk to them and Iyeah, I tell them it's okay.
I talk to their body too, youknow, like as if they're still
alive, cause I fully believethat they're listening though
yeah oh, I'm sure they'rewatching you like?

Speaker 2 (43:05):
what are you doing to me?

Speaker 3 (43:06):
yep, yep take care of me, so I I it's kind of
comforting for me now.
I know that's yeah, they know II get it, so it's not weird it.
Uh, it's just another day onthe job.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
I, I do.
I found it really fascinating.
I was watching one of yourvideos and I just stuck with me
the one where you were saying,um, like people asked you why
you don't, why we don't, makepeople smile, like after they
pass, and I was thinking likewhy the hell that would be so
creepy to me, and you said Ithink you said it perfectly
you're like, well, it's kind ofnot very comforting if, like
your passed away loved one isjust smiling, and I was like

(43:41):
that's so I don't know why.
That just like creeped me out.
But then I just thought itfascinating that you were like
you can inject them and thenkind of like hold it so that
they smile, and I was like it'sso fascinating to me.
Yes, it's actually gettinggrossed out, I can see.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
I'm doing good, okay.
So I'm very squeamish aboutthings that, like bones and
blood and organs, should remaininside the body, or I get
lightheaded.
So we're, we're good, though Ican hear about it.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
It's more than watching it.
All right, you're doing, okay,I'm doing anyway when you, when
you're doing embalming fluidright and you're saying you
inject it in, do you inject itin the head and then it goes
into the face.
How does that work?

Speaker 3 (44:19):
yeah, so uh, when in an ideal embalming we use the
carotid arteries here.
So, you can.
It's similar to how your bodyalready pumps blood.
It's a closed system.
So we drain through the jugularvein the blood out.
We want to replace that bloodwith embalming fluid, so we
inject it into your carotidartery.

(44:39):
Your carotid also runs up intoyour head, so we inject down and
then we take it out and we putthe cannula up so that it goes
up into the head.
And you can do it on both sides.
Ideally you just want to stayon this side and it'll circulate
through.
But you can tell if you'regetting fluid distribution,
because the face will firm up.
That's what the embalming fluidis meant to do, is help firm up

(45:02):
the tissues.
It makes doing cosmetic work somuch easier on the face too.
And when we do that, when it'sfirming up, you can kind of take
the lips and just make themlike a slight, but not not a
smirk, not like a big old smile,Just like a just just where
it's not such a huge frown, it'sjust like a Mona Lisa sort of
deal.
Yes, exactly like that, Just alittle, that they're at rest,

(45:25):
that they're at peace and thatthey don't look uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
So just because you said, like the cosmetic part of
it, do you do the cosmetic partof it or do other people usually
do it?
How does that part work?
I don't even know.

Speaker 3 (45:37):
No.
So something that will probablystick with you that I'm about
to say is that funeral homes arecheap.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
We like to do everything with you.
That I'm about to say is thatfuneral homes are cheap.
We like to do everything.
Maybe I shouldn't say that, butthey are.
They're not going to go out andhire a special makeup artist,
because they get a lot of peoplethat are like I just want to do
the makeup, can I do that?
The answer is you could, butare you going to get hired?
No, because they would ratherpay the full-time director to go
in.
It's already kind of a part ofthe whole process.

(46:03):
I actually love doing thecosmetic work, so I'm glad it's
a part of my job.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Most of us love doing it, so we do it, do you like
look at pictures of them andkind of okay, like for a
reference, and like, yeah, wedidn't do my grandma's makeup,
but my mom's a hairdresser andso that was like one of my
grandma.
Oh, I'll cry.
One of my grandma's things islike she always told my mom you
have to do my hair, cause you'rethe only one knows how to do it

(46:28):
and you will do it right.
And so my mom's like okay, somy mom did her hair.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Oh, she loved that.
Yeah, I know she loved that shewas watching over, she just
loved that.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Oh, she did, yeah, so but yeah, they're not going to
hire.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
I mean, I guess you could, but you could now, if the
family walked in and they'relike, hey, we want to do her
makeup Absolutely, or we wantthis person to do the hair or
the makeup Absolutely, let's,let's call them.
It's not something we have todo, but it's already things we
do in-house, that we went toschool for to learn how to do.
So we do it.
That's part of the schooling.
Is the makeup?
Yes, restorative art,restorative cosmetics.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Wow, I guess I would have never thought about that.
That would be part of theschooling job but?

Speaker 3 (47:12):
but they try to teach you how to, with clay, rebuild
an ear or, if, if there was skinslip, how to accommodate for
that.
So it's it.
It's things like that.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Okay, that makes sense, but still, I guess I
never would have thought aboutthat.
That's, that's wild.
Oh, look at, we're learning somany things.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
I know you said in there too, that like, if the
family requests right, so I'msure what?
What are some like the wildestrequests that you you've gotten
to honor for families?

Speaker 3 (47:53):
oh, I had a, a lady.
She had like 50 cats in herlifetime and she had them all
cremated and they all lived ather house with her speaking of
cats, okay and uh.
So she said, her daughter camein and she's like what are we
gonna do with all these catcremains?
And I said, well, can we burythem with her?
And she's like we can do thatand I said yeah, yeah she goes
well, the cemetery.

(48:13):
I said how is the cemeterygonna know that the kitties are
in there?
right I'm gonna turn around andyou can put it in there when I'm
not looking and I didn't seeanything.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
So literally taking the secret to the grave.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
I love that like 50 little little little like urns
with the cats.
Yeah, and I, you know I thatbrought the family a lot of
peace to do that for her yeah,you know, probably because she
probably loved it.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Oh, my god, that's so cute.
Oh, I'm sure there's some wildrequests uh, I had a.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
I had a son bring in in a brown paper bag.
He brought me his mom's clothesand he was really nervous about
it.
And so what I like to do whenpeople bring in clothing because
I learned the hard way is we gothrough every single piece that
you bring me and I take aninventory of what you brought me
and how I learned the hard way.
Very quickly I had a daughterbring me clothing in a plastic

(49:04):
bag and at the viewing she goeswhere's my mom's ring?
And I said what ring?
Well, I brought you thatplastic bag and I had my mom's
ring in it and it was a giftfrom all of the kids.
And I said there was no ring.
And I am like scouring thefuneral home.
I'm looking in the garbage cans, I'm looking in the carpet, I'm

(49:24):
looking, I am I scoured thatplace with a fine tooth comb.
There was never any ring.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
I would have been in full panic.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
I would.
I felt so bad Even today, likea part of my heart still like
hurts that that she, she fully.
I would see her out and aroundin town and she would just give
me a death glare every time.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
She'd see, she was so mad at me.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Yeah, I don't know what she thought.
Well, there was like 10 kidsand so the son came up to me and
he goes hey, I just want you toknow, I don't want you to beat
yourself up over that.
We all thought that ring wasfucking hideous and none of us
really wanted her to be buriedwith it.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Oh my god, that's so good.
Well, that would make me feel alot better, yeah so she was the
only one.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
If it was, maybe it disappeared for a reason you
know, I was just gonna say.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Maybe one of the other kids took it out they,
they might.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
They really didn't want her to be, but this one
daughter was so adamant about.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
You know why?
She's the one that fuckingbought the ring.
She picked it out?

Speaker 3 (50:11):
she probably did.
Oh, it was a very special, avery special, but none of the
kids wanted it.
She picked it out, oh my god,that is wild that is hilarious.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Okay, I want to go maybe more morbid side.
What is, how do I phrase this?
What is like the most common?
Like accidental death or likewhat is something that like, is
there?
Like one that you're like, wow,you would never imagine.
But a lot of people like diethis way.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
I did not know how many people die in car accidents
.
I did not know.
I, I, uh, they're actuallypretty.
There's a few pretty morbidones, uh, car accidents.
I, we also had a contract witha local or not a funeral home.
We had a contract with a localhospital that we would run the
SIDS cases to the.

(51:04):
I had no idea the amount ofbabies that I would go and pick
up that in like full, full term,and they were in just these
tiny little body bags and I, I,yep, and I.
I didn't see them, but I canfeel them like through the body
bag and it was my job to bringthem for the autopsy.
And then the third thing, whichreally should have been number

(51:27):
one, because this is the mostcommon.
I had no idea how many peopletake their own life.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
It is shocking.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Because it's not talked about.
No, and it's not a big newsstory.
It's not going to make the news.
It is astronomical.
That was the number one call.
I would get called on as peoplewho took their lives.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Oh, I have goosebumps .

Speaker 1 (51:47):
Yeah, no, it's a tough one.
Yeah, you're right, people,it's more of a.
We're going to kind of push itunder the rug.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Yep, it's not top news tonight.
No.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
No, and it damn well should be.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
It should be because I think if people really knew
that that is the number one,call that.
And then car accidents oh gosh,I hate motorcycles.
Motorcycles are death cyclesreally.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Okay when it comes to car accidents, and I want to
know if you can help vindicateme in the age-old fear that all
of us millennials have.
I know where this is going, howdangerous is it to drive behind
the logging truck?
I knew it.
The final destination scenethat fucked us all up scene that

(52:37):
fucked us all up.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
I, I, that final destination and going on, death
calls shaped how I drive like Ido not stay behind the logger
truck.
Nope, I do not.
If you are hauling a suspiciouslooking load in the back of
your car, I don't even care ifyou think you have it strapped
down right, I will not drivebehind you, I will go around.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Yep same I knew it was a good start me for life go
around.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Yep same, I knew it was a good start.
Me for life.
I've I've just I've been onenough fatalities with car
accidents and I have I have seenwhat speed can do to the human
body.
I don't even chance it.
Have I ever been on a loggerdeath?
No, but is there gonna be one?
Absolutely?
I mean it speed is speed, andthe highway don't care and it's
very quick, blink of an eye andit's over.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Yeah, I witnessed.
When was that?
Well, probably five years ago,I think now.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Motorcycle.
I was a young kid and I thinkhe was only 21, 20.
And I was driving, I was on myway home from work and it was in
a construction area on thehighway, so it was down to two
lanes.
And I'm on the phone with myhusband and I'm like, oh my God,
and he, this motorcycle, whipspast me and I would tell my
husband.
I'm like, oh my God.
I'm like, and now I'm like,damn I should.
I'm like that kid's going tokill himself.
I said, or something like that.

(53:43):
I said, one lane, everyone'sgoing around.
And I see that he hit the backof the car because he couldn't
stop in time, flew over themedian and got hit by a truck on
the other side.
And so I just like, flew into,like you know, fight or flight.

(54:04):
And then I realized that the,the people that he hit, was a
young kid.
So this kid is mortifiedbecause this motorcycle just hit
the back of his car and he's.
So I'm like, oh my god.
So I get out of the car and I'mlike calming this kid down, and
then I realized that, like Imean not even 20 feet away from
me as a dead body, and I'm like,oh man, so I actually I don't

(54:25):
even know what came over me, butI'm like, does anyone have a
blanket?
And somebody in a car had ablanket and gave it to me so I
could cover this poor kid,because people are on the other
side, are getting out andgawking at this.
Yep, that, yep, that's whatthey do.
Yeah, it was crazy, it was wild, and but after that I was like,
yeah, no, no one needs amotorcycle, let's just not, no,

(54:46):
or drive it like oh my God, itwas crazy.

Speaker 3 (54:49):
No, I um, I I had no idea how many people die on
motorcycles either until holidayweekend coming up.
Without a doubt somebody'sgoing to die on a motorcycle.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's inevitable.

(55:14):
It's so sad.
You should each have your ownbike.
You should not ride together ona motorcycle.
Nothing has fucked me up morethan going on.
Husband and wife killed in amotorcycle accident.
They went out, they were goingfor a drive and somebody pulled
out and they hit the car andthey're both gone In a split
second.
They're both gone and so I showup.
They're both still warm.
I load them up into my van andI bring them to the medical

(55:36):
examiner's office, where Iunload them one at a time and
roll them into the cooler sideby side.
And what fucks me up isthinking about how they woke up
that morning and they were notplanning to meet me that night.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Yeah, like they were just going to go on a fun
adventure.
I think that, and it alwaysreally, really fucks me up when
I see kids on bikes.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
I just don't think that should be it's not worth it
, especially in a state likeours, where you don't have to
wear a helmet anymore, so stupid.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Yeah, that's fucking stupid as hell.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
Absolutely.
But you know what?
It doesn't do much for themanyways.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Oh really.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Yeah, I guess if you're going to be hitting
something at that speed, no,you're totally fine.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
No, I'm not done yet.
Sorry, he's like attached at myhip.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
That is totally good we can, and we can start getting
wrapped up.
I know it's probably gettinglate for him.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Oh yeah, oh my God, it's already nine o'clock.
I didn't even realize.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Yeah, I can't believe an hour flew by.
It goes so fast, I know.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
I was going to ask really quick Were you the one
that made a video about notwearing hair clips while driving
?

Speaker 3 (56:43):
That was not me.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yes, yep.
So, zach, if you don't know andI can't remember where I heard
it, but it was you know and Ican't remember where I heard it,
but it was.
You know, like the big jawclips that you put your hair up
with, like the big plastic ones.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
Yes, I use them all the time.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
And maybe, yeah, with your beautiful hair.
Maybe this isn't true, butwhoever it was, wherever I saw
it was like you shouldn't drivewith those, because they've seen
so many people have it beimpacted in the back of their
head if they got into a caraccident.
And now every time I get intothe car I take my clock, lip out
.
Is that true?

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Yeah, yeah that was a nurse, I think on TikTok that
talked about that but somehow itgot roped in with me because
around the same time I wastalking about how, when you're
at a stoplight, you don't go ongreen.
No, I never do so, it turnsgreen.
You should take a second andlook both ways and make sure
there's no other cars coming,because you don't know if
somebody could run the light.

(57:35):
And I picked up somebody thatdid that.
They ran the light and uh no,but yeah, claw clips no claw
clips.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
No, hesitate, don't ride motorcycles.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Three things we learned yeah, just don't do it
okay.
Okay, I would say we have somerapid fire questions.
Yes, do it okay.
She's like do it okay, perfect.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Uh, most surprising part of mortuary school oh, you
know, oh, oh, how morbid can Ibe?
Oh, we should have started.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
As morbid as you want .
Be morbid as you want.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
Be morbid, okay, so at mortuary school, when you
donate your body to science, youcan sign a line that says that
at the end of it they can keepwhatever they want to.
So there are just bins ofdifferent preserved, perfectly
preserved body parts in mortuaryschool that we have the

(58:31):
opportunity to examine, and sothat was really kind of shocking
for me because I wasn'texpecting that.
And so when we had humananatomy and we were learning
about the private parts, theyhave boxes with private parts in
them.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Oh, very interesting.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
So we got to learn about anatomy just like right up
close.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
Okay, so if you donate your parts, you might
really be donating your parts,yeah, and you know you don't
need them anymore.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
So that's very true.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
It is a very nice gift of you to give, because
then we get to study that forhuman anatomy and not only me,
but where I went to school itwas a part of the medical school
program, so they also have thedental students and the doctors
and nurses, and so that wasreally interesting for me to be
able to see what a gift donationis and how we got to learn so

(59:20):
much more because we had peoplethat donate their bodies and we
would embalm on the donorsyou're getting cosmetic and
you're getting anatomy andyou're getting like it's so many
different and you're runningthe business, like so many hats
I love this.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
What's the one tool in your work that you can't live
without?

Speaker 3 (59:40):
that I can't.
I've nobody's ever asked methat before we tried to come up
with like kind of different onesyou know, there's just so many
things that I need.
Right, I need everything I needmy embalming table and I need
my embalming machine and I needmy cremation, my crematory.
Um ah, you know, I have aspecial makeup brush that we

(01:00:03):
always use there you go.
That could be your one tool.
And it's vintage.
Oh okay, that's cool, it'svintage and it's great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
So I'm going to say my makeup tools, okay, perfect.
This isn't actually one of mine, but I forgot.
I wanted to ask you Do you wantto be buried or cremated, or
what do you want to do?

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
Oh, I get that all the time.
So that depends on how old I amwhen I die.
Because if I die tomorrow, Ialready know that my dad will
talk my husband into having meembalmed because he's going to
want to see me.
They're going to need thatforeclosure.
I think my kids would need thattoo.
I think that they, they wouldneed that.
Okay, so it's not really about.

(01:00:43):
It's not about me, but when I'm90 and I'm old and I'm wrinkly
and if you don't come and visitme, you can just everybody.
You're not coming to see mewhen I'm 90.
Like you had a lot of time youhad 90 years, so you can just
cremate me.
It's really up to my family.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
It's not it's.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
I does not matter to me one way or the other, because
I believe that funerals are forthe living.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Yeah, you've.
Yeah, I've heard you say that.
I kind of agree with that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
What's your favorite like fun fact in the mortician
realm to share with people?
Oh, yeah.
Your your go-to icebreaker.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Oh my gosh, these are great questions.
Um, you know, I don't know.
Um we've had, you know it wouldhave been rigor mortis Cause.
That's like my number one thingto debunk it, because so many
people think that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
There we go.
Yeah, that's a good one thinkthat there we go.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Um, I can't even think ofanother one.
I think that's a fair answer.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
I know we're putting on the spot with a bunch.
Oh no, I got one, okay.
So a lot of people want to know.
With cremation, they talk aboutblack smoke coming out of
crematory, and so a goodicebreaker is that sometimes
it's just black smoke, butsometimes, I mean, you think
about the human body and thefact that we all have fat in
different places and that fatcan help fuel the fire.

(01:01:59):
And if you have a lot of fat, alot of excess fat, that can
boost the flame, and when theflame gets too high, you get
black smoke.
And so you have to be reallycareful and you need to monitor
the crematory, or else you couldhave a grease fire that has
gotten out of control and thenthe fire department comes.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Oh my god, I would have never thought that.
I would have never thoughtabout that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
That's a good one.
Okay, that is a great one.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Okay, all right, so I okay.
What, if any, are some myths orlike urban legends about?

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
death that you secretly wish were true, oh okay
, I don't know if I secretlywish it was true, but an urban
legend that I hear all the timeand I call bullshit on, is when
people are like my granny workedin the hospital and the dead
guy sat up on the table and hejust sat up.
Have you ever heard that Peopleare like, oh, the dead body sat
up on the table and he just satup?
Have you ever heard that peopleare like, oh, the dead body sat
up on the table and I'm likema'am, that was not a dead body,

(01:02:57):
they are alive.
If they're sitting up, they'realive.
Think of the muscle it takes inyour abdomen to do a sit up
Like.
I don't even want to do thatwhen I'm alive.
I'm not going to do that whenI'm dead.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Hey Kara, you should cross off your next question.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
One of the questions on here is it true that dead
bodies can sit up?
But that's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Well, if you ask that , you could just stitch it in at
the beginning of that one.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
No, I love it.
Oh no, that's perfect.
I think that's funny because itbothers me so much.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Oh, my grandma.
She was a nurse and she sawthis.
I'm like no, she didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
I never thought that that was true, but when I was
like trying to think ofquestions, I was like, well,
maybe it fucking is, I don'tknow, but that's even funnier
that you know, so many peoplethink it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
I almost wish it was true.
I almost wish it was true.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Well, there you go, that's a not really urban legend
, but I guess if you're into thescience stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Technically, if you died and you were on your side
when you died, and if rigormortis set in and then bloating
happened, and let's say I wentto turn you over and I'm trying
to get you loaded onto the cot.
It might appear as though youare sitting up because your body
is stuck that way until rigormortis passes.
So I've had people where theyare in immediate rigor mortis

(01:04:11):
and they are curled up in a balland I can't relieve that rigor
mortis.
Sometimes you can stretch theirarms or move their hands and do
a little yoga and you might beable to work it out to alleviate
that.
But when it's in the firststages of it and it is solid,
you can't break it until itpasses or you will break a ball.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
Yeah, that's crazy, that's so wild.
My last one is I was loving thevideo of the um god and I think
you said, like a scavenger huntof the metal bucket that you
have, of all the metal that cameout, what is like the wildest
thing that has come back out ofthe crematorium oh, I found a
pair of surgical scissors thatwas left inside of the body.

(01:04:56):
Oh, I was not gonna do you haveany idea how long like?
Was it a procedure that theyhad close to death, or were they
there for?

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
so they actually died during the procedure, okay, and
it was left in and it was leftinside the body and I thought
that was kind of rude.
I'm like that's rude.
Maybe they forgot it, I don'treally know, but it was shocking
to me to find it, like in thewhen I'm picking through for the
medals I was like this is justa pair of scissors just hanging

(01:05:25):
out here, or?
it was a clamp.
I'm sorry it was a clamp, ohyeah, oh my God, still a little
little negligent on the medicalside.
Yeah, like that was a you knowwhy, I don't know just kind of
they didn't do a very good, uh.
But you know what?
I don't really know anylogistics about the surgery.
Maybe they were really upsetthat they couldn't save them or

(01:05:45):
something yeah and the doctorjust didn't.
You know, he was so upset thathe left it's.
It's so hard to say so I don'twant to say it was medical
malpractice.
I think that it was a verysudden death and I think it just
got forgotten.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
Well, either way, that's shocking, it was.
I was like oh yeah, definitely,oh my God, Whoa.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Well, is there, I guess.
Is there anything else that youwant to tell us, or?

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
Oh my gosh, I feel like I told you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
I know this is like this is the quickest hour and
that we've ever had with a guest.
This is like wild.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
This that makes me feel good.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
That means you had fun okay that means you have to
come back.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
So much fun yeah well , you know what, if um anybody
listening has any questions thatthey're dying to know, maybe
we'll have to do like anotherlittle q a and answer any
questions that would be fun wecould have, like our listeners
ask or write questions to haveAll right listeners.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
So that's our ask this week, instead of asking you
to write in your own personalcreepy stories.
Any questions that you have forLauren, we're going to stack
them up and then we'll have herback again.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Oh, but if you have a creepy story, you should send
that too, because I love readingcreepy stories.
We can read your story too.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Oh, you know what Join.
Oh, you know what.
Join us for a bonus episode.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Okay, do you?
Okay, we do have some write-ins.
We are waiting for a couplemore people to give us some of
their creepy stories.
So maybe when we get a couplemore and some questions.
We'll have you back.
That would be fun.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
That sounds so fun.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
Perfect Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
All right, we're going to put you on the spot one
more time, lauren, because,kara, what does she need to do?
What does she need to pick?

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
okay, so we always ask our listeners when we get to
it to make sure they actuallygot to the end of our episode.
Uh, we usually have them.
Uh, leave out emoji.
So what emoji should they leavefor this episode?
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
they should leave the coffin emoji.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
Oh perfect oh, right on.
No, no thought there, no, nothought, that's my favorite one.

Speaker 3 (01:07:33):
I do a little coffin and a little sparkle.
Oh, perfect Do the coffin one.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
Well, they can do both Coffin and a sparkle.
I like it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:40):
Usually I would say you know, let people know where
to find you.
But if our listeners are likeanybody we've told you were
coming on here, they alreadyknow how freaking out.
But, anything else you want topoint them to, or no, nope, I'm
just on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
Youtube's new for me.
I'd love if you'd follow methere on YouTube trying to grow
that.
And I'm on Instagram, tiktokand Facebook as Lauren the
Mortician.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
Perfect.
All right, so go follow her, ifyou don't already, although I'm
sure you already do.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
Right, well, I guess our only ask is write in the
creepy story so Lauren can comeback and some questions.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
questions for her what else do they have to do
before we close the shop up?

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
listen, I just we're just so grateful that lauren is
here.
I can't even believe it.
I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna like pass out.
We're so happy, I'm just soexcited uh well, before we close
the shop, let me just tell youI I'm like, until you show up on
camera, lauren, I'm.
I think I'm getting pranked, Ithink somebody's pranking.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
I think she thought Ashton Kutcher would show up.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
No, I should have just had the skeleton.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
I'm like, I'm like what if I was telling my husband
he's like, sweetheart, it'sreally her?
Why would no one?
She's not like it's her.
I'm like, well, what if it's aprank account pretending to be
her?
Oh, it's not sweetheart she.
I think she really does loveyour vibes and she's coming and
I was like yes, no, no, oh, myGod so anyway, we really

(01:09:03):
appreciate this.
We can't believe it, but anyway, the most important thing that
you guys can do for us is tocreep it.
Really oddballs.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
Goodbye, bye.
You got to throw a bye in there, lauren, bye, perfect.

(01:09:37):
I'm home with the dogman At theID shop, won't leave the
shadows At the ID shop, and homewith the oddballs At the ID
shop.
The door's always open At theII shop.