Navigating Your First Book Con: Tips, Tricks, and What to Expect

Episode Transcript
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Ashley (00:00):
Views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the
participants.
The hosts make no claim to beliterary experts and their
opinions are exactly thatopinions.
All creative works discussed orreviewed are the intellectual
property of the creators of saidstories and is being used under
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Mari (00:31):
Hello and welcome to Up Swords and Soulmates, a podcast
where we read, watch and discussromanticist stories.
I'm one of your hosts, mari,and with me I have Kelly.

Kelly (00:35):
Hey everyone, it's Kelly.
We also have Ashley.

Ashley (00:37):
Hey guys, it's Ashley.
We also have Jonathan.

Jonathan (00:40):
Hey y'all, it's me JP.
I got a little cold so I maysound off, but I'm here.

Ashley (00:45):
Yay, glad you're here.
A little less, oomph.

Mari (00:48):
Yeah.

Jonathan (00:48):
We got kid-germed.

Mari (00:50):
It happens, the germs are everywhere, and so are the kids,
so yeah, it's that time of year.
Yeah, yeah, they do carry thegermies Well.
Today we're going to bediscussing book conventions or
book gatherings, so I thought itwould be just kind of us going
over it.
We're not going to get into thedetails of specific cons,

(01:14):
conventions or whatever.
We just want to kind of giveeveryone an overview of what
they are, what to expect of themand how to maybe prepare for
them.
All right, so book conventions,book gatherings, what are they?

(01:37):
So I went to a little wiki toget an idea of what conventions
are in general.
In general conventions, notspecific book conventions are a
gathering of individuals whomeet at an arranged place and
time in order to discuss orengage in some common interests.
The most common conventions arebased on industry, profession
or fandom, and book conventionsspecifically involve authors,

(02:01):
readers and other literaryprofessionals.
So book fandom, so to speak.
What would you say, what wouldyou guys say, to expect if you
were talking to someone who hadnever been to a book con?
What would you tell them toexpect at a book?

Ashley (02:16):
con.
So I feel like this is my areaof expertise because arguably, I
have been limited book cons.

Kelly (02:22):
I have been limited book cons.

Ashley (02:25):
I've been to limited cons we were talking about this
earlier like, what reference doI have?
Right, and arguably, I'vereally only been to a handful of
things, and they all involveyou guys.
You are where you lead, we willfollow.
Yeah, I think you know assomebody who's relatively newer

(02:46):
to the book con scene.
Um, it's definitely gonnadepend on the vendor, right?
Like who's holding the event,because when we did fabled
fantasy last year, in 2024, itwas drastically different than
an event that was held shortlyafter, which was held by was it

(03:06):
alexia, I believe so, um, just ashort time later.
So the bar was set really highwith fabled fantasy, um, who?
And so fabled fantasy held amulti-day event.
We at that time, jonathan and I, had only gone to one day and
it was overwhelming, but in thebest way, right, it was

(03:30):
organized.
We had signed up for our eventsahead of time.
I think the one thing that weweren't really prepared for was,
like the convention floor, solike where you would go and see
all the exhibits and events.

Jonathan (03:44):
I think that's a you thing.
Why?
Because I've been to otherconventions.
That's kind of what conventionis.

Ashley (03:51):
Oh, so then, yeah, it's a me thing, which is fine,
that's what you said you hadn'treally been to other conventions
before, so you were a cleanslate.

Mari (03:57):
You didn't really know what to expect.

Ashley (03:59):
And so maybe I said we in the sentence and that's why
he's correcting me.
I tend not to say I a lot whenhaving group conversations.
I think of him and I as a team,so he's probably correcting me
in that way.
So yeah, I was surprised.
I figured I was going to beable to buy things, but I didn't
think I was going to be able tomeet authors on the floor, like
that.

(04:19):
And so I was very unprepared,like I didn't have, you know,
pens or you know, the books athome that I had been hoarding
like a library dragon, and soyou know not that I was opposed
to buying things there, butthere were things that we had
already had right that we couldhave utilized in that space.

(04:40):
So I think I'm definitely veryexcited for the future of book
cons and I'm very sad that therearen't more in the Southeast
region.
Many of them seem to be in theMidwest.

Jonathan (04:53):
What do you wish?
Somebody would have told youbefore we went there.

Ashley (04:56):
That I was going to be able to meet Juliet Cross on the
floor.
I knew that we were going tosee her in like the panels,
because we had, like, rushed tosign, to sign up for these
panels, right, and so I didn't.
I figured I was going to be.
I thought there were going tobe like local vendors on the
floor but not like the authorsyeah, on the floor.

Mari (05:17):
Well, and, to be fair, that was my first book con.
I'd been to other conventions,but that was my first book con,
book con.
I'd been to other conventions,but that was my first book con.
So I was expecting the samething as you, in that I was
expecting vendors to be there,but I didn't think that we would
be able to just walk right upto the authors and talk to them
at their table, because theother convention fandom type
conventions I'd been to thetalent was always separated.

(05:38):
It was you had to sign up, youhad to pay, you had to get a
ticket, you had to reserve aslot, stand in line, something.
They were somehow likeseparated from the floor, the
main floor.

Ashley (05:50):
I like the word that you just used, the talent, because
that's very much true.
There was a lot of talent atthe Romanticist Book Con last
year and I think that was maybethe very optimistically like.
The positive, overwhelmingfactor for me was the ability to
meet some of those people.
It wasn't clearly explained inall the event pages either that

(06:17):
that was going to be availableto us, so it was a delightful
surprise in the best way.
I was just unprepared for it.

Mari (06:24):
Guys, what about you, kelly and Jonathan?
What would you say to someonewho hadn't been to a book con
what they should expect to seeor experience?

Kelly (06:32):
I mean, I think it depends on what the convention
is known for.
You tell somebody what toexpect if they go to Comic-Con
is going to be different thanwhat they should expect if they
go to a book convention or ifthey go to some other convention
like a Star Trek convention.
So it's always going to vary.
But essentially you shouldexpect to you know, see other
people that are into the fandomor thing that you're into,

(06:54):
expect to possibly meet authors,actors, whatever that's in the
thing that you're into that theconvention's about, and of
course, buy merchandise, whichis probably the big thing about
most conventions.
And sometimes there'sinteresting discussions or
panels or presentations.

Ashley (07:12):
Yeah, that's super exciting.
I don't think I, you know, aslong as I've been a reader, I
don't think I really everconnected with peers or
like-minded you know,individuals like we have in this
group on that level, to knowthat I, I guess I never got into
comic books.
So you know that scene was, Iknew it existed at some point

(07:35):
but I I'd never really gotten to, I've never experienced it.
Um, or you know, mari, likewhat you do with, with dragon
con, like cons as a whole, Ithink, were an experience that
I've never been invited to orgot to witness, not really on
that on any kind of scale,alexia or Fabled Fantasy,

(07:55):
because again, those aredramatically different, right,
so this is, you know, this waspretty eye opening for me and I
was very excited about it.
Like I get to go shopping andbuy books.
You know what I mean.
It's like going to Barnes Noble, but better because the authors
are there.
What do you mean?
That was a whole new conceptfor my brain.

Kelly (08:15):
Yeah.

Jonathan (08:16):
So I challenge you with this Challenge.

Kelly (08:18):
Yeah.

Jonathan (08:20):
So expand your view of con to include expos.

Ashley (08:28):
So I mean we were talking about this earlier too
Like from an expo perspective,my experience has been bicycles
with you.
Husband and you worked in theoutdoor sports industry for a
number of years.
You and I have been together.
We're just rounding up at thispoint.
It's not been 20, but it'sclose enough to where that's not

(08:48):
a terrible.

Kelly (08:49):
We're just counting decades now.

Jonathan (08:50):
Yeah, we're just counting decades now.

Ashley (08:53):
So I've definitely been to some bike expos, but I think
I've not been on the customerside of that, I've been on the
retail side of that.

Jonathan (09:03):
So the setup, know the displays, the merch, how many
years you've gone to kansas withme?

Ashley (09:09):
kansas is now six years.
Yeah, six years, and I guess Idon't think about that in the
same way, but I see where you'regoing my question for you is is
that because it's indoors oroutdoors for a con?

Jonathan (09:21):
oh, and?
That's I think I think that's aif, if cause, if the, if the,
if the expo, the outdoor sportsexpo, if that was indoors, would
you give that a title of aconvention?

Ashley (09:32):
I don't think so, because I think even the expos
at Kansas, while you can buythings, it's not necessarily
their main purpose.
And if it is, it's to theriders, the racers, not
necessarily to the generalpublic it's a sharing of a
common interest yeah, no, I.
I now that you say it.
I see it, but it wasn't, and Icall it an expo.

Mari (09:54):
You know, in conversation it's one of my favorite parts of
kansas, but it's not somethingthat I really get to do other
than witness yeah, what wouldyou guys say is the difference
between an expo and like aconvention If you were going to
classify a thing, or is it justkind of the same thing?
Just two different words forthe same thing?

Kelly (10:12):
Yeah, I think it's two very different things.
I think a convention issomething that you're going to
somehow take part in, so likewhether it's a convention where
you're going to attend classes,workshops, lectures, whatever.
Whereas an expo is more of justusually vendors or
manufacturers showing offproduct.

(10:32):
They're showing you a thing Isee, right.
So, like the New York WorldExpo was a bunch of
manufacturing showing off.
Here's the future of whateverand the products that we're
going to make for it.
Yeah, whereas a convention or aconference, products that we're
going to make for it, yeahWhereas a convention or a
conference is something you'regoing to participate in.

Mari (10:50):
That makes sense.

Jonathan (10:51):
And I would say the expos that she's been to, that's
exactly what they do.
There's panels, there's a largeamount of product demonstration
, but there's product selling.
It is meet and greets, it ispanels, it's just.

Kelly (11:06):
That's the large side of things for her there.

Jonathan (11:08):
I would say it can be, it could I?
I think it.
I'm going on a limb here, aroof, um.
So I've been to a lot ofdifferent, a lot of different
outdoor expos and some wherethey did both the expo and the

(11:29):
convention, where they were,where they had the panels, where
they were doing the, thetrainings.
Here's how to hear let's go,let's go get certified in this
product, let's go over the insand outs, let's talk to the, the
athletes, et cetera.
And then the outdoor side ofthings was this is the product.
Take a closer, look at it inthe wild and I think, the big.

(11:53):
If you can get a roof, I thinkyou can almost always call
yourself a convention.
But I think the interesting partwhen I drag Ashley to those
things is that she's an outsiderlooking in and it doesn't have
the emotional connection to it.

(12:13):
I think that's the perspectivethat I was looking at.
That's how I was viewing thebook con last year went to it as
I was more of like an outsider.
These people didn't the authors.
It wasn't like, oh, I get tomeet this author, I'm so excited
, this is great.
It was just like oh, here's aperson who are you again.

Mari (12:32):
Yeah.

Jonathan (12:33):
Okay, cool, and that's how.
So that's how she is in theoutdoor sports stuff.
But and so it's interesting forme to put that hat on and
definitely got to see some ofsome of your excitement from
like an audience perspective.
Like Marnie, I get to see youryou light up over authors and
have more specific questions andand engagement there and I was

(12:55):
like, oh, this is a unique hatto wear, like it's nice.

Mari (12:59):
It's nice to see things from multiple perspectives,
because two people canexperience the same thing but,
based on what their expectationsare and what their prior
experience is, they're going tofeel different about it.
So generally I would say, at abook convention people can
expect there to be books forsale, for there to be panels,

(13:20):
most likely by either theauthors or with authors on them,
or maybe other fans talkingabout specific topics book
signings, maybe workshops, bookrelated merch um, and then a lot
of times book conventionsspecifically tend to have some
sort of like a party networkingball type event, and on one of
both nights I've noticed thatall of them it a ball, but it

(13:43):
could be a karaoke event, itcould be book trivia, it could
be, you know whatever, butthey're usually some sort of
like come together typesocializing event.
So it gives you an overview,audience, of what to expect at a
book con.
So let's get into the pros andthe cons of book conventions,
and I figured we could talkabout this for readers versus

(14:05):
authors, and I would say forreaders versus professionals,
because that could be authors,it could be artists who are like
the book, illustrators, or itcould also be vendors.
So a pro of a book con forreaders would be that you get to
connect and meet with peoplethat have similar interests.
You know whether it's a justgeneral reading or whether it's

(14:26):
a specific con like Romanicy Con, where it's going to be
Romanicy fans, you know, or likea sci-fi book con or a comic
con.
You're going to have theability to maybe interact with
people who, like that, may likethat really weird specific niche
thing that you like.
You know, maybe nobody else athome knows what you're talking
about that kind of thing youlike.

Jonathan (14:44):
You know, maybe nobody else at home knows what you're
talking about that kind of thingthat that can come with time
too.
Yes, yeah, you may dip your toein to one and, like I totally
still feel awkward around people, even if we have like a similar
interest, and like I may justwant to hang around you.

Mari (15:03):
Yeah and that's.
That's fine, and even just likebeing there and seeing other
people excited about the samething that you're excited about,
even if you don't interact withthem, can be interesting as
well.
You also get to potentiallymeet authors.
You can interact with them, youknow.
If you choose, you can maybe dosignings, you can maybe let
them know what you liked or, ifyou had, if you had weird
question where you're like hey,I read your book and this one

(15:25):
thing was bugging me.
Please answer my question, youknow xyz you may get tattoos yes
the whole the pillar, the wholesituation.
That's exactly what I wasthinking of, rl perez.
We had a question for her andshe answered it, and and if you

(15:45):
listen to our Romanesie ConRetrospective episode from 2024,
you'll know what that questionwas.

Jonathan (15:54):
Treasure hunt there.

Mari (15:55):
Yeah, you might be able to get special, might have access
to special editions of books orimages or whatever that are only
available at the con or thatare more easily available at the
con.
That may sell out before youknow if you got them through
other means.
That's oftentimes somethingthat you can get as a good thing

(16:15):
for going to a book con.
You might discover new authorsor books that you didn't know of
.
But if you're there for thatniche interest and you like
maybe there's five authors thereand you like three of them then
maybe check out the other twobecause maybe you'd never heard
of them but you'll probably likethem too.
You know, like their works aswell.
I would say we all discoverednew authors by going to that

(16:37):
Romanescon, which was our firstbook con together.
Like there are plenty of peoplethat we hadn't heard of before.

Jonathan (16:42):
Definitely Like there are plenty of people that we
hadn't heard of before.
Definitely there's I thinkthere's a few like DJ Russo that
was.
I learned a couple things there.
I learned about a one-handedread that I didn't understand
Initially.
They had to embarrassinglyexplain that one to me.

Mari (17:19):
There's another one that I was introduced to that I just
haven't had the time to getaround to read, but I think that
was being might even changeyour perspective on something
you've already read before youknow, maybe talking to the
author or talking to otherpeople who've read the book and
thought about it a different way.
Another potential pro for goingto these events is a lot of

(17:39):
times there's like cosplaypotential, and cosplay could be
dressing up in a full costumethat maybe you've wanted to wear
, but it could also be likewearing that really nerdy
specific book related t-shirtthat you want to wear and like
have other people know what it'sabout, you know, or maybe a
cool hat or whatever maybe youknow.
Specifically bring out your,your things related to the the

(18:01):
con that you're there for andmaybe connect with somebody else
over it.

Jonathan (18:05):
Yeah, it takes.
Here's the thing.
I think it takes a lot ofcourage to put, for people to
put themselves out there in aspace, courage that I don't
necessarily have entirely here.
But I think that when I look atpeople who are dedicated to the

(18:27):
craft and the skill that iscosplay as creative and unique
and everything that you have todo, that goes into taking
something from a book andbringing it to life with either
imagery in words or even like acharacter that maybe they have a

(18:52):
visual idea.
But how do you take that fromfrom from a 2d space and bring
it into you know, a 3d 40 areaand then to risk because it's
like this is truly this is aninvention of sorts right,
there's some skills like here'show to paint, here's how to
airbrush, here's how to use foam, here's how to work with

(19:14):
leather, but to take to say, hey, you know what, I need a
unicorn horn and it has to beerupting from you know whatever
it's, it's, it's there's so manydifferent techniques that have
to be.
There's not a book on that.
There's not a book on like, hey, okay, how do I do movie, movie

(19:34):
style, cinematic, latex makeupand then have foam and then work
with airbrushing and you knowall.
And then let me go find aseamstress or a seamster and
figure out how to make this allcome together Like that's.

Mari (19:48):
It's an art form.
It's an art form like anythingelse and it's a craft that you,
you know, develop your niche andwhat you like doing, what you
don't like and what you enjoydoing of costuming.
You know, some people likebeing super realistic or
authentic, like if there arepictures or official
illustrations, or like mainlyyou see this with a lot of movie
costumes.
But you see people who arereally specific to like

(20:11):
authenticity.
And then you see people who areall about like making it their
own or mashing it up withsomething else or like, okay,
I'm going to take this character, but what if they did X, y, z,
like?
I put together a very lazycosplay for Dragon Con one of
the nights, which was Kiki fromKiki's Delivery Service.
She's a 15 year old witch inthe book and in the movie.

(20:35):
So I was like what if Kiki wereall grown up and were like out
on the town?
That's the outfit I'm going toput together.
So I did like a grown up Kikiout on the town and I'm going to
put together.
So I did like a grown-up Kikiout on the town and sometimes
that's a fun exercise, just likein other art forms.
You know, sometimes, like inwriting.
People will be like oh, I'mgoing to write this space
adventure but I'm going to makeit noir, or I'm going to mash up

(20:56):
these two things and see whatkind of story I come up with.
Or I'm going to draw thispumpkin, but I'm going to do it
in the style of Picasso.
You know that kind of thingwhere you play with your toolbox
to get different results thatyou may not have gotten if you
were just trying to copy thesame thing exactly.

Jonathan (21:13):
Yeah, yeah, and I love that, I love that yeah it's fun
.

Mari (21:16):
It's fun to see what people come up with, Like the
imagination and the creativitypeople have is really fun to
watch.
I think Now for vendors,authors, professionals, what
would be the benefit to them,what are the pros for them of
doing a good book convention?
I would say definitely exposure.
Like I said, we've all wereexposed to people we wouldn't
have necessarily heard of if wehadn't been to these cons Sales

(21:39):
you know some events they'llhave better sales than others,
but generally it's an event foryou to sell your product, your
book, your merch, whateverNetworking you might be able to,
you know, meet with otherprofessionals and collaborate
with them, Like maybe someonethat does art for your book or

(21:59):
maybe you have merch that youwant to do and of networking and
connection, whether that'sconnection to other
professionals or whether it'sconnection to, like, the people
who are reading, or, you know,consuming your craft, whatever
you're making, whatever you'redoing.

Jonathan (22:15):
Yeah, definitely Like I think.
I think, man, those are greatbullet points.
The exposure part is achallenge, right.
The exposure part is achallenge, right, it's
one-on-one conversations and alot.
So hopefully they brought theirwater that day, because a lot

(22:37):
can be riding on it.
Are you in the right position?
Who's next?

Mari (22:40):
to you.

Jonathan (22:40):
Do you have somebody that people want to visit next
to you, to you?
Do you have somebody thatpeople want to visit next to you
?
And there's, like thisbyproduct of you know, traffic
that's just happening by becauseof a more popular or
established author.
How many of the conversationsare you?
Everything's it's it.
There are some.
I think there was some.
There was one interaction whereI had, where I was like trapped

(23:04):
in a conversation I think I wastrying to get away from it and
I just couldn't.
I was like oh no, I gotta getout of here.
But and those are rare, thosewere rare, don't get me wrong,
and I don't know if we ended upjust buying like a small thing
just to kind of terminate the ohthanks, I'll just take this and
thanks so much.

Mari (23:23):
Well, that brings us to our cons, yeah, the cons, the
downsides for readers, one ofwhich is that pressure to
overbuy.
You know the pressure to spendmoney that maybe you weren't
looking to spend.
That is there because it is asales event.
You know they're looking tosell, whether it's their artwork
, their book, their merch,whatever, and you may feel
compelled to buy because you mayfeel you can get away from the

(23:48):
table or you may feel bad forthem.
So that would be a con is thatthere is the pressure to buy.

Jonathan (23:52):
you know that's something to kind of consider,
um it's like do you ever go, youever buy like ice cream at the
ice cream parlor?
And they just like hand you thepopsicle, but then they turn
the screen around and they'relike and it says like tip.
And then they look away becausethey're like I can't watch this
.
This is a cringe moment, right,like sometimes, like that's a

(24:13):
con.
I feel like that's rare, but Iknow that it happens, right, I
mean, I don't know that.
I felt that overwhelmingly.
Maybe I'll track it this year.

Ashley (24:27):
Yeah, I think I called it something slightly meaner in
my head, but it was like a pitybuy, Like I felt some pressure
to buy some stuff from somepeople that I normally wouldn't
have.
But I don't think I'veregretted any of those purchases
in hindsight.

Jonathan (24:41):
I feel like you missed an opportunity for an
alliteration.

Ashley (24:43):
Did I.
What is it?
A pity purchase, a pitypurchase.

Jonathan (24:48):
Not to label it, but I mean it's a transaction right.
So, if I took their time andenergy.
Maybe I'll just transactbecause and maybe that's a book
on my shelf that I don't know Ilike yet, but I'll like it, yeah
or not?
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, sometimes those turnout well.

Mari (25:06):
Those gambles do turn out well, but either way, there's a
pressure to spend more moneythan maybe you were budgeting or
that you initially intended tospend.
So it's a situation where youmay be pressured to buy or spend
more than you were as a reader,as an attendee, more than you
were expecting to as a reader,as an attendee, more than you
were expecting to.
Concurrently, there might bethings that you want to buy but

(25:29):
that they sell out reallyquickly, so some things are sold
out in pre-sales.
I would say that sometimes,another con is that cost versus
expectations, you might build upwhat the situation is going to
be in your head, either frompictures you've seen before or
from other events you've been toor other events you've heard of

(25:49):
, and it may not be what youexpect it to be in your head,
what you've built it up to be inyour head.

Jonathan (25:56):
We had that situation too, where they used stock
photography on the site.
It wasn't a bust.
I don't want to put it in thatI'm not going to put it in a
bust bucket, but it wasn't anaccurate it wasn't quite the
same as advertised.

Mari (26:10):
For sure, correct yeah.

Ashley (26:12):
I didn't even think it was close to.

Jonathan (26:15):
Well, it wasn't an accurate representation.

Mari (26:18):
It also was fairly affordable compared to other
things.
So I mean, I do try and keepthat in mind, but it definitely
wasn't what was in the pictures.
Another potential con would benot having access to the authors
, or not enough access to theauthors.
You know, every con isdifferent.
Every event is different.
You'll have different levels ofaccess and you may not have the

(26:39):
access that you thought youwere getting when you may have
bought a ticket, and then thelast thing would be for an
attendee would be waste.
A lot of times you get thingsin like a swag bag.
You get pick up a billionbusiness cards or stickers or
bookmarks or postcards orwhatever.
You then have to figure outwhat to do with when you get

(27:02):
home.

Jonathan (27:04):
What do you do with them?

Mari (27:05):
I've gotten better about not picking them up if I don't
have a use for it.
Even if it's free Like if it'sa sticker I want to put on a
thing I'll pick it up.
If it's a business card orpostcard, I'll usually just ask
if it's okay if I take a pictureof it, and that way I don't
have the thing to carry home.
Because even if it's somethingthat I'm interested in let's say

(27:26):
it's a company or an author oran artist that I'm interested in
what am I going to do?
I'm going to look at the card,I'm going to get their
information Instagram orwhatever and I'm going to follow
them.
Then what?

Jonathan (27:35):
Yeah, no, I'm with you .
So I think, in from the salesside of things, I was not really
good about having cards.
A lot of times companies wouldsend you cards and when
customers would ask me if theywould be like, hey, can I get
your card, that was the signalto me that this conversation was
ending.
It was just a ticket to thedoor and I would just say like
hey, I don't use cards.
And they would say, if you'dlike my contact information,

(27:57):
it's on the receipt.

Mari (27:58):
When you buy something, See to me that would feel very
pressure-y and I'd be like, okay, thanks, bye.

Jonathan (28:04):
That's perfectly fine and I would be okay with that,
because when people say like soand people buy differently and
it may not come out quite asharsh.
So I might look at you and sayand understand that, okay, this
person, depending on how ourconversation went, you may need
more information, you may needmore time, or it may not be the

(28:29):
project, the product for me,exactly, no, exactly.
And when the?
So, when the when the questionof do you have a card comes out,
there's a measure of is thisperson just asking for a ticket
to the door, free pass to thedoor, I'm going to let them off
the hook, kind of thing.
Versus if, if, if you neededmore, I'd be like, hey, listen,
I don't have a card, but here'smy email address.
You have questions you get home.
Think about that, or it mightbe.

(28:49):
I don't have a card, but I havea checklist.
Here are the questions that Iwould be asking myself in the
future, and then I'll write myemail address on it, kind of
thing.
But yeah, I'm with you on thatone.
I'll tell you what I will pickup, though, if they're handing
them out stickers and bookmarks.
One, because I use bookmarks.
I use bookmarks more forsomebody who audio books.

Mari (29:12):
the heck out of stuff.

Jonathan (29:13):
I use bookmarks to keep track and go back and
reread and if there's not amisprint but a difference in
print, I'll pick up on that inthe book and be like, hey,
that's not what they're sayingin this audio version, like kind
of thing, and I'll go back andmark it.
So they get banged up over timeand then usually, like I'll
leave the bookmark in the bookwhen I'm done reading it, I just

(29:34):
put it back on my shelf.
So I ended up buying likestacks of useless bookmarks and
so if they have one that's freeto me and I bought their book,
I'm going to pick it up.
I'm going to use that as a toolto read it.

Mari (29:46):
Yeah.

Jonathan (29:55):
Or if I have friends, I oftentimes will pebble friends
across the country who alsoread and who should have
like-minded stuff.
So I'll say like, oh, here'sstickers that I picked up at a
convention and here's somebookmarks and please, you know,
here's $5 set of headphones,please enjoy.

Mari (30:06):
I tend to.
If it's a book I like andthere's a bookmark, I will pick
up the bookmark for it and I'llkeep it in the book.
You know if I've bought thebook.
Other than that, I will pick up.
I like to do bookmarks assouvenirs, so like if we go to a
specific bookstore and theyhave a bookmark, even if I have

(30:27):
to pay for it.
I'll usually do that and then Ihave like a.
I have a container of bookmarkslike it's a little square glass,
like I think it's supposed tobe for a makeup brush box that I
keep on on our bookshelf andit's got like bookmarks from
different stores.
We've been to um but if if it'slike just generic little
bookmarks, I tend to not pickthem up because I know I'm going

(30:48):
to end up probably throwingthem away.
I don't use bookmarks as much.
I'll use a bookmark maybe whileI'm reading the book, but I do
a lot more ebook reading andthat has, like the all the
bookmark stuff built in Um.
I have gotten better aboutbookmarks because I used to just
whatever was around was mybookmark.
There's a leaf that's going tobe my bookmark and I think

(31:11):
that's great too.

Jonathan (31:12):
Like it, it's a unique , a receipt, yeah, receipt
sometimes, oh yeah, all the timeall the time, all right.

Mari (31:20):
So for the professional attending people, whether it's
the authors, the artists,whatever some of the cons of
going to, the downsides of goingto like a convention situation
would be, once again, the costversus expectations.
Like they have to factor in themoney that they're putting in
to get there, the money thatthey've put into their stock,

(31:41):
whether it's books or whatever.
A lot of times they have tospend money to buy the table,
the space at the event and a lotof times they have to provide
swag or whatever for the event.
So all that money they've spentinto it, whether or not they're
going to get something out ofit, whether that's profit back
or exposure or whatever they'relooking to get out of it,

(32:02):
sometimes it doesn't pan out tobe worth the cost, not to
mention as a producing, writer,artist.
Whatever it's time spent awayfrom, whatever it is you do,
whether it's writing or drawingor, you know, making a thing for
vending Time that you're thereselling it is time that you're
not making it.

Jonathan (32:20):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, I think I bet you so.
So I'm not.
I don't know what happens inthe background, but my
assumption is that sometimes, ifyou have tiered types of
authors, where there's like agroup of authors who are held at
a higher, like they're a draw,they're bringing people in just
for their name being their topbilling, right, I imagine

(32:42):
they're free, right, they canjust hey, we reached out, we'd
like you to come.
They're probably not paying andthey're probably being comped
some sort of travel expense tobe there, because then they
become the product, right?
Where on the floor, where we maysee more of the.

Mari (33:02):
Not the headliner.
People yeah.

Jonathan (33:03):
Correct.
Yeah, there's probably a costassociated with that and,
depending on the amount you know, publication there's probably.
I bet you there's probably somesort of tier with them as well.

Mari (33:16):
Yeah, and I'm sure different conventions do things
differently, but I know thatthat's something that, like
authors and whatnot, have tothink about.
The other thing would beturnout Like are there going to
be enough people coming to thisevent to justify you being there
and you putting all this costinto it?
Are you going to get the salesor the exposure out of it?
And then the flip side.

Jonathan (33:35):
You have to factor everything in.

Mari (33:36):
Yeah, the flip side is there's going to be too much.
Like is there going to beoverwork?
Like, are you going to beexpected to be sitting at your
table signing or talking orselling for you know, eight and
a half hours, nine hours with nobreaks, because you can't leave
your table, because theconvention is going on the
entire time.

Jonathan (33:53):
Oh yeah, julia Cross sold out of books last year.
Like as an author, that's likethat's a success.
But you've left there, you'veleft some money on the table
Right and if that and that'skind of not what she wants to do
.
Right, but but yeah, I and Ialso think like the the turnout
side of things how do you gaugethat?

(34:14):
Like you really you can't go?
Like I'm not gonna say youcan't, I don't want to be as
definitive with that, butthere's probably a measure of,
like you want to get do a pulsecheck.
Hey, well, is this a first yearevent?
What?
What other events have theyhosted?
Yeah, and what does it turn outlike?

Mari (34:32):
Right, I assume that the people I assume I've never, you
know, been a professional personat a this type of convention,
but I assume that there's somesort of conversation between the
authors or whatever, and thepeople hosting the event and be
like, okay, well, we've sold Xamount of tickets, so that gives
them an idea of what, how manypeople will be there.
You know that kind of thing.
Like I know, at MonsteroticaBook Con that I went to earlier

(34:55):
this year, the majority of theauthors sold out.
It was, it was a successfulsituation for them.
So, yeah, you just these arethe questions that you have to
figure out, the gamble thatyou're doing as a, as a person,
as a professional attending thatevent.
Okay, so let's say, you hearabout a con, you hear about a
convention and you want to.

(35:16):
You think about going.
What should we guide people todoing before, during and after?

Ashley (35:23):
So first thing, yes, yes , I was going to say first thing
research and after.
So first thing, Buy the bookcart.

Mari (35:26):
Yes, yes, I was going to say first thing, research,
decide if you want to go right.
So, is this an event that'shappened multiple times?
Can you see what it was likelast year, what people said
about it last year?
Photos, videos you know,testimonials and not just from
like the official website or theofficial podcast that's
associated with the convention.
You know testimonials and notjust from like the official

(35:47):
website or the official podcastthat's associated with the
convention.
You know, but like just generalJoe Schmo who went, what they
thought about it.
But also, if this is the firsttime this con has happened,
which lots of events you know,every event has a first year.
You can still do a little bitof research about, like the
people who are putting on theevent, the, or the person put on
the event.

(36:07):
Have they put on other eventsbefore?
You know?

Jonathan (36:10):
we did so like romancy con.
That was a.
That was the inaugural event inorlando and that by no means
was a, was a was a bad.
There was stuff to learn yeahbut it was a.
It looked like a fantasticturnout, an abundance of authors
, so so like not knockinginaugural events.

Mari (36:29):
No, they're just a little bit more of a gamble because you
have to do a little bit ofdeeper research.

Jonathan (36:33):
Yeah, I would say step one should.
I think you should look at thepresenting person's website, the
.
I see a lot of differentwebsites for conventions and
there are some that offer moredetailed information and I feel
like if they're offering moredetailed information, then it's

(36:53):
a more substantial and robustwebsite.
Also looking at what's linkedto that site social media
channels, etc.
And start going down thatpathway there before booking a
flight or committing to tickets.
Oftentimes you can get an ideaof like who's going to, who's
going to what authors.

(37:14):
Do we anticipate being there?

Mari (37:17):
Right, yeah, cause they'll .
They'll have some sort of alist or something on their page,
and then you can go further.
So this is a little insightinto me.
This is how I handle a lot oftimes.
Anxiety and stress about newsituations like this is I will
research the heck out of it.
So I'm like, oh, okay, there'sthis event.
Let me read everything on theirofficial website.

(37:38):
Ooh, they have a whateverInstagram or social media.
Let me read everything there.
Oh wait, they have an emaillist.
Let me get on that email list.
They have a Discord, let me geton their Discord.
And there's Reddit.
So by the end, I feel like Iknow.
But then I'm also like, oh,these people are going to be
there.
These authors or artists orvendors or whatever are going to
be there.

(37:58):
Then I start following them onsocial media and see what
they're saying about, maybe whatthey're excited to bring out
for that event, or release forthat event, or show people for
that event, because that givesyou an idea of how excited they
are for it, how optimistic theyare about that event.
Other than that, though, I wouldalso look into where's the
event being held.

(38:18):
You know both the geographiclocation, but also like.
Is it in a hotel?
Is it in a convention center?
Find out about that place soyou know what to expect.
You know something that's heldin one room one large room of a
hotel is going to give you anidea of the size and scope of
the event, versus somethingthat's held in five hotels, for

(38:39):
example, or a convention center.
Look into the weather andwhat's going on in that location
at the time that thatconvention is supposed to happen
.
For example, maybe going to NewOrleans sounds great at any
particular time of year, maybeyou'll go to an event in New
Orleans and go to a convention,but maybe you don't want to do
it during Mardi Gras.
Maybe that's not your jam.

(39:01):
It's a completely different, youknow, feel in that town during
Mardi Gras than during, say, therest of the year.
So just find out what else isgoing on geographically or
around that time of the year inthat location, because that's
going to give you an idea ofwhat to expect and whether or
not you want to go as well.
Any other researchy kind ofthings you guys can think about,
Kelly or Ash.

Ashley (39:21):
I think tracking the authors and their social medias
has been really key to me in thelast year or year and a half
and understanding what eventsthat they frequent to because
they're, I think, while they'reobviously trying to sell a
product right, at the end of theday it's their art they're
trying to make a living.
I find that, especially in theromanticist genre, they seem to

(39:49):
be very authentic and if there'sa problematic situation in an
area, geographically, or withthe vendor holder themselves or
with other authors, I find thatthey have the most tea right,
and so if there's a concern thatyou have as a human, you know,

(40:10):
considering the world that weare in right now, the authors, I
feel, and their followers, arebeing very vocal right now, and
they're also going to be what Ifeel is a healthy guide as to
whether or not a particular oops, sorry a particular event is
worth venturing to.

Mari (40:27):
Yeah.

Ashley (40:28):
All right.

Mari (40:30):
So let's say you've done all that and you decide that
this is the con for you.
You want to go to this thing.
Next thing you do is you needto book everything.
So you need to buy your ticketto the event, whatever level of
ticket, that is, if there'stiered tickets, whether that's
like a general entry pass, asuper duper, extra VIP, whatever

(40:50):
.
Whatever your ticket to theevent is, buy it.
Also, research whether or notyou're going to have to buy
multiple tickets or sign up formultiple tickets.
For example, you may buy aticket to an event but then you
might have to buy a separateticket to a ball or whatever if
you want to do that.
Or ticketed event for authorsignings.
You know, pay attention ifthere's auxiliary events related

(41:11):
to the main convention that youwant to go to and make sure you
purchase all the tickets forthe things you want to go to.
I would say your travel tickets.
Whether you're driving there,make sure your car's in good
shape, or whatever.
Whether you're flying, youmight need to buy your plane
tickets and if you're flying,then you need to figure out if
you're going to have to rent acar or how you're going to get

(41:33):
from the airport to this hotelor wherever the convention site
is, whether it's going to be alight rail, a subway, rental,
uber, whatever Lyft, whateveryour situation is, plan that
through and think about that aspart of the total experience
you're going to have and thetotal cost you're going to have
to set aside for it.

Jonathan (41:51):
Absolutely Kudos to you if you can find the hidden
costs.

Mari (41:55):
Yeah.

Jonathan (41:56):
They're in there.
What's parking like at thevenue?

Mari (41:59):
Yes, are you staying?

Jonathan (41:59):
on site Is parking included.
What happens?
What do you do?
Where are you going to eat?

Mari (42:04):
Other than the lodging, whether it's hotel, obviously,
yeah, do your lodging, whetherit's hotel, whether it's Airbnb
type situation, whether you'redoing a roomy type situation,
sharing a hotel with somebodyelse.
Get all that resolved ahead oftime.
But also think aboutreservations, depending on the
place and depending on whatyou're wanting to do.

(42:25):
Sometimes, if there's like arestaurant you want to eat at or
an event you want to do like alocal show or you know whatever
you might have to set up, setreservations for things too.
You know that you might want tothink about ahead of time and
doing all that, any otherbooking kind of stuff you guys
can think of.

Jonathan (42:41):
You know I think you nailed it there Reservations, I
think, are often overlooked andI think that we spend, as human
beings in general, we spend alot of time in our own personal
bubbles and we don't rememberthat when we get there.
There are lots of people whoare there to do the same thing
we're there to do, but there arealso people who, like you
mentioned earlier, they might bethere for a regional football

(43:03):
game.
They might be there for an eventthat's taking place.
In our case, in Orlando.
There are lots of events thatare happening.

Ashley (43:11):
All the time, like regularly, the nearest food.

Jonathan (43:15):
The nearest abundance of food is going to be at a
themed off-property kind ofresort space, so there's going
to be a need for reservations, Ithink.
Do we?
I mean we had, did we havereservations?

Mari (43:28):
or reservation.

Jonathan (43:29):
I think we did, I thought you guys did we maybe
did and I think we ended up wait, even just waiting a little bit
more right.

Ashley (43:37):
I think we no.
So we had reservations with oursister and we did that at
Springs.

Jonathan (43:44):
Oh, we must have been there for a different reason
then, because I distinctlyremember being at Disney Springs
with Mara and Kelly.

Ashley (43:50):
Yeah, I think we went there for a different situation,
but I don't remember.
Maybe it was not the first bookcon.
Maybe it was the second.

Mari (43:56):
Yeah, I think it was the second.
Yeah, okay was it yeah yeah,you're right.
You're right, cal gotcha.
That's actually a good pointthough, because, like, I always
think about other eventshappening, because I've been to
dragon con for a few years now.
Dragon con's in atlanta, andevery year that dragon con goes
on labor day weekend in atlantadowntown there is always a

(44:17):
sportsing football event somesort of big football situation
and some sort of concert, all onthe same weekend, all in the
same area.
It's a strange mix of people,let me just put it that way.
So, yeah, there are thingsgoing on outside your bubble,
believe it or not?
Yeah, absolutely so, yeah,there are things going on

(44:43):
outside your bubble, believe itor not?
Yeah, um, all right, onceyou've gotten all your stuff
reserved that you can't ahead oftime, next thing would be to
pack.
So for a book convention, likeash mentioned, check out what
you can carry, because books areheavy.
Um, poor kelly carried all mybooks last year, so many times
St Kelly.

Jonathan (44:58):
Yeah, I'm going to make him carry mine this year.

Mari (45:01):
Well, no, because we have book carts this year.
So, saving everybody's backsand shoulders.
Yeah, find out if what kind oflike a cart or book or book cart
or like wagon-y type systemwhat you can use to carry stuff
around, because you're going toget tired carrying your stuff
around all day.

(45:22):
If there's any weight to it andbooks are heavy, they just are.

Jonathan (45:25):
Don't assume.
Don't assume that what you'rebringing is allowed at the venue
Right.
Check what the venue, because Idon't think we can't take
wagons right.

Mari (45:35):
Right Wagon.
Well, it depends on the event.
Most book events that I've seendon't allow long leg rectangle
wagons.
They allow something that'sabout the footprint of a book
cart and the book cart.
I don't know the exact size offthe top of my head, but it's
like the size of a laptop, moreor less.
It's a square tote, a squarebox with wheels, and you wheel

(45:56):
it around.

Jonathan (45:57):
Like a milk crate with wheels.

Mari (45:58):
Yeah, yeah, and it's what most book cons allow.
There may be some variation,like some of them will allow if
it's the same footprint buttaller.
Like you have one of those likebags, shopping bag things,
they'll allow that.
Sometimes they'll allow a bookbag like rolling book bags or
rolling luggage.
You know, it just depends.
Pay attention to the FAQ of theevent you're going to and if

(46:22):
it's not there, ask.
But yeah, figure out how you'regoing to carry your stuff
around.
If it's a book convention,highly recommend something with
wheels.

Jonathan (46:35):
Something that I've been.
I started loading our book cartas we go through books with
that and authors that will bethere.
What I've been doing as I loadthe book cart is I'll flip to
the page that I want them tosign, I'll take a post-it note
and I'll write their name on thepay, on the post-it note upside
down, and I'll stick that tothe, to the title page or the
page that I want them to sign.

(46:56):
And I'll stick that to thetitle page or the page that I
want them to sign and then Iplace it in alphabetical order
inside the book cart so that waywhen I arrive at their booth or
their table I will grab thebook, pull it out and they can
just open it directly to thepage where I want them to sign.
And if I wanted my name signedon it, I would spell my name on
that.

Mari (47:15):
Yeah, that's good, it makes it faster for everybody.
I would spell my name on that,right.
Yeah, that's good, it makes itfaster for everybody.
Another thing that I've heardwell, also, leave space in your
book cart for anything you'regoing to buy, because if you've
done pre-orders or you're goingto buy books there, you're going
to need space for that too.
And also something I've heardthat people do that I thought
was a good idea that I think I'mgoing to do this year is carry
some sort of like a pencil boxor an envelope or something in

(47:35):
your book cart that you can putthe little things that you buy
or pick up.
So if you do pick up stickersor bookmarks, that way they
don't fall out of your book cartor get crushed with the books.
They have a safe little spotfor them.
So think about some sort of alittle like separate pouch or
pencil box or envelope orsomething for the smaller things
that you might buy that alsoneed to be protected smaller

(47:56):
things that you might buy thatalso need to be protected.

Jonathan (47:58):
There's a great tip there, for sure.
I happen to have an abundanceof zippered bags.

Mari (48:03):
Same.
They can be so pretty, otherthan the tote book cart.
I would say your clothing,costume, shoes and I say that
clothing would be, when you'retired and you don't feel like
messing with it, whatever yourcomfort clothing is.
So you might have these grandnotions you're going to wear
costumes, you're going to wearsomething unusual to what you
normally wear, but bring yourcomfort stuff too.

(48:24):
If you're a dress kind ofperson, or if you're a jeans and
t-shirt kind of person, orshorts, whatever your comfort
stuff is, bring it, becauseyou're going to be tired at some
point and you're going to wantto wear just your regular
comfort stuff, so pack that.
If you are planning on doing acostume, go ahead and get
everything together for thatcostume and put it in a bag and

(48:47):
seal it and pack it and you canjust grab it and go in one spot.
That is the best tip I've everhad for any costume stuff I've
been to, because generallyyou're not going to wear your
costume stuff, anything else youknow, so you're able to put it
aside, whether that's in agarment bag or like some sort of
a big Ziploc bag, whatever yoursituation is a separate tote

(49:08):
bag.
Just go ahead and pre-pack itand have it be ready to go way
before you're ready to packeverything else.
So you have all the pieces andif there's something I've
learned from the old belly dancedays is do a dress rehearsal.
If you're going to be wearing acostume or something weird like
put it on, make sure it doesn'thurt when you have it on for
five minutes.

Jonathan (49:28):
Oh yeah, you know, make sure If it's uncomfortable
for a minute, it'll beuncomfortable for hours.

Mari (49:31):
Yeah, I did a rookie mistake.
I bought this cool bat headbandat Epic, or Kelly got me at
Darkmore and I was excited towear it to Halloween, horror
Nights and Kelly, I think I hadit on for what five minutes and
I was like this is too tight andit's giving me a headache.
So yeah, dress, rehearsal, putyour stuff on and like, do

(49:52):
whatever you're going to doaround the house, read, do
whatever you normally do, butlike, put it on and make sure
that you're going to be okaywith wearing it all day, because
if you're not comfortable in it, you're not going to be
comfortable out in public and ina situation where you're on
your feet or in line or, youknow, in a weird situation.
So, yeah, and I would goodsorry.

Jonathan (50:11):
Along with that, I would say, I would suggest put
together what I would call likea first aid kit for your for
your cosplay.
Like there's a small roll ofduct tape or some super glue,
yeah, a needle and thread,because you just so.
Random buttons, safety pins,all small thing, yes, velcro,

(50:31):
all small things that can gointo something, a Sharpie AKA
liquid anodizer or pocketanodizer, you can, you can do,
do.
You can do minimal repairs andrescue.
Maybe not even yourself, but ifyou just have that small little
first aid kit of cosplaysupplies or like a rocket pack
of cosplay supplies, then youmight.
You might save someone else'sday too shoes.

Mari (50:54):
Don't.
Don't break out a new pair ofshoes for, like a convention,
ever, ever, you need to break inyour shoes ahead of time, wear
them, stand in them for a while.

Jonathan (51:05):
Amara, you've touched on a pet peeve of mine for sure.
Don't ask social media for therecommendation of shoes.
It takes a little bit of time.
But yeah, if you go into a bookI'm not a bookstore go into a
shoe store and oftentimes youcan get sized.
They'll scan your foot and justbe honest with what your

(51:27):
intentions are.
The same way, you would go intoa bookshop and maybe ask hey,
I'm looking for a book and Iwant this style or this
character or this trope.
Go into the shoe store and say,hey, I'm looking for shoes.
I'm going to be on my feet forsix to eight hours.
I'm going to be moving slowly,standing and talking, and this
is how I want to use them.

(51:47):
What shoes would you recommendthat fit my foot?

Mari (51:51):
And your preferences, because I love my sandals.
I have my waterproof Chacosandals that I wear all summer.
But if you're not a sandalperson, like if you don't like
your feet out, or if it rubsyour feet or if you know
something between your toes bugs, you Like it doesn't matter if
I think that the mostcomfortable things ever they're
not going to work for you, youknow.

Jonathan (52:12):
Exactly, exactly.
I think that's what stops mefrom like a dragon rider costume
is I'm like, I'm like I feellike a dragon rider would have a
swell pair of chelsea boots,but I'm not gonna wear those all
day, so I'm gonna wear on cloudshoes.
So I gotta look for a cosplaythat leans into that, or find a
way to put some kind ofdecoration over top of it yeah,

(52:34):
yeah, any other clothing,costume, shoe kind of stuff guys
bring a choice.
It's.
I was in the field like when Isay in the field, not like like
with potatoes or anything likethat just like I was out and
about servicing accounts and, uh, a customer handed me something
and it I I pulled on it and Igot soaked so much water and it

(52:58):
was comical and I was just likehere I am on this trip and I
said, can I use your bathroom?
And he says yep, and I went tothe car and I got my spare and
it came and I went into thebathroom and it came out and it
just so happened that everythingI wear is the same.
So I looked exactly the same,just dry and pressed, when I
came out and he was just.

(53:19):
They just said, hey, that was apro move.
And then it's like well, bringa spare yeah, definitely bring a
spare.

Mari (53:25):
Yeah, I would say even for shoes too, because, like I, I
my feet get sore very easily,even if they're really good
shoes that I wear often and thatI like.
Often.
I have a hard time wearing thesame pair of shoes two days in a
row if I'm going to be on myfeet for many, many hours both
days.
So I usually have to have adifferent kind of shoe.

(53:45):
So if you have a two-day event,bring two pairs of shoes at
least.

Jonathan (53:51):
And there's nothing wrong with having cosplay shoes
and then saying like, okay, well, I'm traversing this space, so
I'm going to take my cosplayshoes off and put on my sneakers
and just put my cosplay shoesin my bin or my cart or in my
bag and I'm going to walk towhere I need to go.
And when I get there andthere's opportunities to

(54:13):
interact as a cosplayer, I canput my cosplay shoes back on.

Mari (54:16):
Absolutely All right, but enough about shoes and feet.
Food, food, snacks, waterbottle.
Bring snacks.
Bring something that's like youcan just leave in your bag,
that's not going to melt, that'snot going to leak, whether
that's like a snack bar or it'sa bag of like nuts or chips or
whatever, whatever you like.
Bring snacks.
And bring a water bottle orbeverage of some kind.

(54:40):
You know whether that's anempty water bottle that you're
going to fill there or whetherit's, you know, bottled water
that you've bought.
Whatever Hydrate and do snacks,because you're probably going
to be excited to be there anddoing things and seeing things
and talking to people and youmay not do the normal stuff that
you do in your normal day, likedrink enough water or drink

(55:00):
enough beverage or whatever, andhave snacks, and then you're
going to be either sick orcrabby and nobody wants that.

Ashley (55:07):
And, in that vein, if you are a millennial or older,
pack the pain meds.
Yes, pack the ibuprofen, slashTylenol.
Whatever that drug of choice isfor you, for us it's ibuprofen.
We pregame that stuff now, likebefore a park, before an event.

(55:28):
We just, we know it's going tobe a long day and, to your point
right, we're going to forget toeat, you know.
But when we leave, so don'tyou're going to be talking, so
don't you're going to be talkingto people, you're going to be
touching hands, right, touchingspaces.

Mari (55:40):
so bring your ibuprofen, bring your emergency bring your
hand sanitizer like be aresponsible adult wash your
hands more than you think youneed to?

Jonathan (55:50):
yes, I I would say this if you're with a group of
people, ask for what you need.
We're not always sure and Ithink we've done this in the
past of what I was like.
Hey, I, I can't do anythingunless I have.

Ashley (56:02):
I need sugar, I need to eat something yeah so it was
like so yeah, if you're with agroup of people, understand that
they don't feel your stomachyeah and that you may need to
say hey guys, I need I, you, youpress on, I gotta get a
sandwich and or, like in my case, if we're outside right and I
don't have enough sunscreen tocarry me throughout the day,

(56:23):
I'll ask a stranger if I, if I,if I, you know, can't go
purchase it in a small quantitymyself.
But yeah, you'll see, andpeople will be happy to help in
that situation because you'renot going to contaminate their
stuff, right?
They'll be like oh yeah, no,girl, you don't want to get
cancer nobody wants to be burntto a crisp no, they feel you
because they've been there.

(56:43):
Unless you're hades, unlessyou're what hades did he really
burn people I don't know.

Jonathan (56:49):
Sometimes I think they usually deserve depends what
book, who depends who's writingthem.

Mari (56:54):
Yeah.

Jonathan (56:55):
The heat miser.

Mari (56:59):
Any other food stuff.

Ashley (57:00):
No, you crushed it yeah.

Mari (57:01):
And definitely the meds Chargers.
Bring your chargers for yourdevices or a backup battery and
a battery.
Yeah, some sort of backupbattery.
On our notes I wrote diary whenI meant battery.
Oh, that's okay, Nice.
Yes, a battery.
I mean I guess you could bringyour diary.

(57:22):
If you want to Bring yourchargers, bring your portable
battery type system.
Make sure it works, make sureyou know where it is and you
have a good place to carry itwith you so you have access to
it and not just for your phone,like whatever it is you're using
.
If you're using your Kindle,maybe, or your reader, e-reader
device, and you're going to wantsome sort of charger for that.

(57:42):
If you're using some sort ofseparate like camera system or
little recording system,whatever you're using, you're
going to need some sort of youknow battery source for that.
So, just make sure you bringall of that.
Um, a lot of events now havelike trading or trinket trading,
where you can make stuff andtrade it with people, and this

(58:03):
is a good tool if you're like acrafty person and but maybe not
an extrovert.
It's a way to interact withpeople without having to talk
about anything other than hey,I've got this thing to trade,
Would you like a thing?

Jonathan (58:15):
I think you know I love that part.

Mari (58:16):
I know you do, I know several people who do so.
If that's your jam like, bringwhatever it is you made, whether
you 3D printed stuff, whetheryou made bracelets, whether you
you know whatever you didstickers, whatever you've
brought to trade, don't forgetto bring it and have some sort
of container to carry it in,cause it's not just packing it
in your bag but like okay, areyou going to?

(58:38):
how are you going to have thatwith you to be able to interact
with people and give it topeople?
Is it going to be in a separatepouch?
Is it going to be, you know,strung on what you're already
carrying?
You know, figure that out.

Jonathan (58:49):
I think what we do last year the fairy terrariums,
and those were glass, yeah, andthose were glass, yeah.
So it was a real danger that,if you like had too many of them
together, you were going tohave some weaponized fairies,
yeah, yeah.
So be prepared, like you said,I feel.
Sometimes I feel bad.
I want to give, like I thinkthis year for some authors.

(59:12):
I want to do a more useful gift, so I'm going to do some
bookmark.
What are the other bookmarkpurses?
Is that what they are, whereit's like a shoulder strap with
with the book, with the fabricpiece in between that serves as
a bookmark oh, I haven't seenthis.

Ashley (59:30):
Oh, I've seen the trend, but I didn't know what it was
called um, it's, I think I.

Jonathan (59:35):
I don't know if it's called, I don't know, but yeah,
so I have picked up a bunch ofshoulder straps and I just I
still have to go, I have to goand sew them all up.
I got everything all alltogether, so that's what I'll
probably do this year for themokay.

Mari (59:51):
In addition to that, I would say, if you do have
stickers to give away or likebusiness cards or whatever, if
you do have something thatyou're wanting to share with
people, don't forget to bringthose and, once again, have them
in a way that they're easilyaccessible, that you can give
them to people if people ask forit or if you want to give them
to people.
And lastly, in all your packingalso leave room for the stuff

(01:00:12):
you're going to buy.
If you're going to buy, howeverpro tip from Kelly if you don't
just figure out where theclosest place you can ship stuff
out and, like you know, ups orUSPS or FedEx stuff home.

Jonathan (01:00:27):
That's a great tip, kelly, especially with books,
because I think, kelly, you cando like UPS, like if it fits
USPS, like if it fits it ships,kind of thing right.
Ups, like if it fits USPS, likeif it fits its ships, kind of
thing right.

Kelly (01:00:37):
Well, USPS has the one price for a box type thing, but
it fits its ships.
But one of the things that youalso can do is UPS.
I don't know if FedEx does ittoo, but I know UPS does the
whole.
Like you can ship your luggagehome and it's based on the size
of the luggage and not theweight of it.

Ashley (01:00:57):
Ah, if hack, yeah, because if you go overweight and
you're flying.

Mari (01:01:00):
That stuff is expensive and those books get overweight
real fast.
I wouldn't know anything aboutthat.
The other thing I would say inthe preparing phase is what I
call the girding your loinsphase, and this is where you
prepare yourself mentally andphysically for the event, kind

(01:01:24):
of like it was a sporting event,whether it was a race, whatever
, whatever your thing is.
So the first thing would beyour plan of attack.
So if there are maps availableof what the floor is going to
look like or how the conventioncenter is laid out or whatever,
look at those maps, figure outwhat you want to do.
Are you wanting to go to aparticular area first or a

(01:01:44):
particular floor first, or haveyou signed up for a thing and
you need to make sure you canget from this place to this
space fast enough?
Make sure that you do that.
So figure it out so you have alittle bit of a lay of the land
ahead of time, if you can.
But also if the event whichmore and more events now have
apps particular to you, knowspecific to that event, download

(01:02:06):
the app.
So sometimes on the app it'sjust a schedule of the panels or
the authors are going to bethere, which is fine.
Sometimes the app will give youthe map of the area or it'll
give you, like, the ability toget into a waitlist.
Monsterotica BookCon was thefirst experience I had with this
, where they did this amazingjob with a waitlist like a
digital waitlist on the app.

(01:02:27):
So you didn't have to get aticket, you didn't have to stand
in a physical line for fourhours.
You signed up in this digitalqueue, you went and did your
stuff, you talked to people, youinteracted, you maybe sat and
had a cup of coffee, whatever,and then look on the digital
queue it's time for me to be atthis place for this line.
You get in line and it's youand maybe five other people and

(01:02:48):
the vendor or the author or theartist handles those five people
, and then the next five peopleare called up digitally.
So check to see whatfunctionality is available, if
the con that you're going to hasan app.

Absolutely.
Also give yourself room forerror, Like don't plan
everything by minute.
Can you imagine, as wiretight asI may be, if you gave me an
itinerary to stick to and thensomething threw it off, how
trying to stay flexible can be achallenge sometimes.

(01:03:22):
So but if you said, hey, we'regoing to aim, just loosely aim,
we're going to be.
We're going to be on theinteracting on the main floor
for X to Z, we're going to tryto get something to eat.
At this point we have panelsover here.
Here's breathing room as well.
Kind of thing Like plan, butdon't be strict.

Mari (01:03:45):
Right Pack but don't overpack.
Plan but don't overplan.
Got to find that sweet spot forall of it.

That's going to be different for everyone too,
Right?

Mari (01:03:53):
right.
Break in your shoes.
If you haven't already, I saythat again break in your shoes.
If you're eligible, getwhatever shots you need to get
ahead of time.
You don't want to be sickleading up to the event or at
the event.
So if you're able and eligibleto get vaccines or whatever, get
them.

I fully recommend rabies.

Mari (01:04:12):
I mean, yes, nobody wants actual rabies, Get the shots
please.
But also, like in the daysleading up to the event, eat and
drink and sleep well.
So give your body the so it canbe in the primest shape it can
be for whatever event you'regoing to put it through.
So, like you would pre-hydratebefore you're going to go out in
Disney or Universal all day, oryou're going to run a 5K or

(01:04:36):
whatever prehydrate, make sureyou eat well leading up to
whatever your normal, whatevereating well looks like for you.
Maybe that's high protein,maybe that's lots of fruit and
vegetables.
You're most likely not going toget your preferred diet stuff
at an event.
It's going to be weird stuffthat you're not used to.
So get your body in whatevergood shape it is for you,

(01:04:57):
whatever that means for you,leading up to it, and sleep well
leading up to it, so that youcan be at a point where you can
physically and mentally enjoythat event that you've put all
this planning and money into.

One of the things we used to say at before, like
sporting events, was it's notwhat you do the day before, it's
what you do two days before.
Yeah, so like there, youimagine the day before this
event, if you have travel,you're not going to sleep well
on a plane.

Mari (01:05:28):
Right.

To get the stress levels.
Even if you, once you getthrough the travel, get to where
you're going, get checked intothe room, you're room the odds
that your heart rate's going tobe elevating.
You've experienced some levelof stress going into it.
Those are high odds there.
So don't beat yourself up ifyou don't have eight hours of

(01:05:50):
blissful rest the day before,but try to set yourself up.
Mara said stock up on thosethings before, two days, before,
three days before.

Mari (01:05:59):
Yeah, okay, let's say you're there.
Things to think about duringthe event.
First thing register.
Whatever registration lookslike, you know whether that's
signing in, whether that'sshowing them your app on the
phone, showing your ID.
Get registered for the event.
Have that be the first thing sothat you can be ready to go and
get whatever last minuteinformation or changes or things

(01:06:22):
may be happening at the event.
Make that be your priority.
The second thing is, within theconfines of your ability, reach
out and socialize.
Maybe that's the people aroundyou in line.
Maybe that's somebody you knowwho's looking at the same book
that you're looking at.
Maybe somebody is wonderingsomething out loud that you know

(01:06:42):
the answer to and you can helpthem.
Maybe you guys are wearing thesame fandom shirt or whatever.
You know the people who arethere are there because they
like the same kind of stuff thatyou do.
So think about socializing ifthat's your jam, if you're
feeling it, and also, on theflip side, if you are more of an
extrovert kind of person orsomebody who socializes more

(01:07:03):
easily, be patient with thepeople around you.
You don't know what kind of daythey've had, you don't know how
people are reacting to crowdsor what situation they had.
Yeah, have patience, have great, give people grace and have
patience.

Absolutely, especially if you're trying to get
somewhere.
Nobody knows what panels you'vebooked or where you want to be
next, and so if somebody's inyour way, I got hit by a car
today walking what?
Yeah, we were at.
It wasn't a big collision, itwas just like she ran over my
foot.
But in her world she, we wereon, we walk on, we walk on the

(01:07:44):
left side of the road, but inher world it was.
She saw a vehicle coming on theright side and she was just
impatient and needed to move hervehicle past me but never gave
us enough time to move to theside of the road.
So she just kind of bumped intome and then ran over my foot
and then wanted to yell at meand I was like she says that was
a car on the other side and Isaid yes, ma'am, and I'm a human
being.
I was like please don't losesight of that.

(01:08:05):
Like this is a bus, there was abus.
I was kids going to school, sothere's a over.
You would just be concernedabout getting to where you're
going.
So the idea here is like justslow down.

Mari (01:08:20):
Yeah, give grace, it's not that important.
Really it's not.
It's not that serious, it's notthat important.
It's not life or death, Ipromise.
And if it is and you're notlike fire, police or paramedic,
then it's not your issue,correct, let the professionals
handle it.
Second thing would be to paceyourself.
Like you might be excited andyou're there and you want to do

(01:08:41):
all the things.
It will be there the entiretime.
You don't have to do everythingin the first hour, in the first
five minutes, like hydrate,take a rest, whether that's
sitting down or actually goingback to the room for a nap,
whatever it takes eating snacks.
Pace yourself.
Sitting down or actually goingback to the room for a nap,
whatever it takes eating snacks,pace yourself so you can be in
a good space to enjoy it theentire time that you're planning

(01:09:01):
to be there.

And it can be like drinking from a fire hose, like
when you walk in.
It can be like whoa so yeah youshould pace yourself.
That's great advice, Mari.

Mari (01:09:12):
Yeah, the last one is kind of general, but we all know
what it means.
You know what it means.
You know what it means Actright, act right.
Y'all Just act right.
That's the best way I can sayit.
So there are people who aregoing to have differing
experiences than you.
Like I said, maybe they'rehaving a bad day, maybe it's
their first time out of thehouse in who knows how long.
Maybe they just had somebodydie, maybe this is like the

(01:09:35):
biggest thing they're going todo all year.
Whatever, just know that noteveryone's experience is your
experience and be okay with that.
Let people enjoy things.
Yeah, you know, let people havetheir moment.
Also, know that differentpeople have different abilities
physical, mental, etc.

(01:09:59):
And not all disabilities arevisible and not all disabilities
happen all the time.
So for me, this was the firstDragonCon where I've had to use
my cane.
I didn't use it the entire time, but I used it some of the time
and there was a markeddifference in how people treated
me when I was walking aroundwithout my cane versus with my
cane.
I'm walking at the same speed,more or less, whether I have my
cane or not, but if you'rebehind a person who's using some

(01:10:22):
sort of assistive device andyou're in a hurry or you need to
get somewhere fast, you don'thave to say anything snarky, you
don't have to breathe loud Ifyou're able to walk around them.
If you're that capable and andspeedy, just walk around.

Maybe say excuse me, but just walk around you can ask
permission you don't have tolike comment in a snarky way um,
yeah, no, yeah, people arehuman beings I had some of that.

Mari (01:10:49):
Yeah, also, like I said, just know that not not
everything that's going on witheverybody is visible.
You don't know their medicalhistory.
You don't need to know theirmedical history.
Like I said, if you need to goaround, go around in a nice way,
walk like you would drive Ifthere's a slow car in front of
you.

Unless you live in Florida.
Yeah, let me rephrase that Walklike you should drive.
I just told the story about howI got run over.

Mari (01:11:14):
Yeah, like you should be driving, you know.
Look, look around and safelypass people.
If you need to pass people, ifyou suddenly need to stop, go to
the side of the road, go to theside of the walkway and stop.
Don't stop in the middle oflike everyone around you and
expect everyone behind you tojust stop.
Just stop behind you and notknock somebody over Like come on
.

I always say try to treat people, try to treat
strangers as if they were yoursibling.

Mari (01:11:41):
Yeah.

Like, if I would give that same space and grace to you
, Mari, then I should be givingthat same space and grace to
someone else.

Mari (01:11:51):
Right.

Also, if it doesn't hurt you or anybody else
directly, keep your mouth shut.

Mari (01:11:59):
Keep moving, yeah go with the flow.
I would also say people who areusing a chair or helping
somebody else use a chair, like,or people who are who have kids
in like a baby, baby, buggy,baby, stroller situation.
If that thing is on wheels,whether, whether it's a person,
baby, whatever you move out oftheir way, don't expect them to

(01:12:19):
like, maneuver out of your way.
It's a lot easier for you tosidestep than for someone in a
wheelchair to have to likechange their direction, you know
, or in a scooter, or whatever.
So think about what's theeasiest way to make this flow of
movement better for everyone.
Oh, just take a step this way.
I'm going to take a step thisway.
Get out of your way.
We're good, you know also talkto them yeah, yeah, that's

(01:12:42):
another thing I was going to say.
Like that, one year duringhalloween, horror nights, when I
, when I was in the wheelchairand kelly was pushing me around,
it was interesting seeing howremoved I felt.
I can't speak for everybodywho's used the wheelchair, but,
like at that time, I felt veryremoved from everybody in the
conversation.
I was literally on a differentlevel, like my face was on a

(01:13:05):
different level and I felt likeI was invisible in a lot of ways
.
So, just like, pay attention topeople around you, look up,
look down.

Yes, exactly they're.
You know they're.
You know they're alleverybody's.
Everybody's there and once youdon't.
I think society as a wholeoftentimes is not every time,
but oftentimes we're like, hey,don't stare, hey, don't, don't
make this uncomfortable, youknow.
But at the same timeacknowledge this is a human
being and they have thoughts andideas and experiences.

(01:13:34):
And just because they're on adifferent level doesn't mean you
can't talk to them and say, hey, what do you think of this book
?
Hey, what's going on here?
Or, you know, even if it's, ifyou're in a hurry, hey, well, I
am late for this really crazything.
Would you mind if I scoot by?

Mari (01:13:53):
Exactly.

What side would you like me to scoot by on?

Mari (01:13:56):
Right, right, exactly Once again.
Act right, kelly.
You're the one who had to pushme around that year in the chair
.
Is there anything else youwould add to that?

Kelly (01:14:06):
No, I mean that's one of the biggest problems with most
conventions is people are justnot acting right.
People being rude, peopleforgetting they're in a public
space.

Mari (01:14:15):
Yeah.

Kelly (01:14:15):
People just forgetting that you need to shower.
That's a big problem at nerdcons specifically.

Mari (01:14:21):
Yeah, multi-day cons definitely yes.

Kelly (01:14:24):
Like I get it.
We all want to stay up andexperience as much of the
24-hour convention as we can,but you need to shower.

Mari (01:14:31):
Yeah.

Is there a pool?
Because I feel like chlorinemaybe could substitute Real
shower, real shower.

Mari (01:14:38):
Water, soap shower, real shower.
I would also say if there arestairs and elevators in this
situation and you're able to usethe stairs and the elevator
gets backed up, which oftenhappens when you have big groups
of people, let the people whocan't use the stairs use the
elevator and, like, try and usestairs if you can.

I feel like we're good at that as a group, like, very
like.
I think if you catch us, andlike the four of us in general,
on the moving walkway at places,it is because we've reached our
limit.

Ashley (01:15:15):
We're trying to get out of there faster, we're just
exhausted.

I do feel like anytime we see stairs we're just like I
guess stairs it is kind ofthing Right, I'm cool with that.
But yeah, I think something tokeep in mind for the men in our
group.
There's definitely a skeweddemographic at the book cons.

Mari (01:15:36):
Yeah.

And there's going to be a time when you have to use
the restroom and you'll.
You may notice I think kellyand I went through that this
past year where the men wererestricted to a, an auxiliary
like single stall bath, and itwasn't an issue.
I'm just saying like just don'tcome in as a dude and be like
this is my bathroom.

Mari (01:15:57):
Yeah, you know it's it books out better for everybody.
Yeah, yeah, you know, actuallymonster erotica con did a really
monster got a book con did areally good, handled this very
well.
What they did was there werethere were two bathrooms in
right next to where the all thevending and book stuff was going
on and and they labeled themall gender neutral.

(01:16:18):
So it was just everybody useeverything, and there were never
any lines outside any of thebathrooms.

Yeah, and I think even with the use of the men's
facilities at Romanescon, therestill might've been a line for
women.

Mari (01:16:33):
Yeah, probably there was so many more like female
presenting people there thanmale presenting people
Absolutely Just visually lookingaround, from what I remember.

Yeah, and you're not getting an advantage because
when you there's the number ofpieces of waste equipment I
don't know what to call thesethings.
In the facility, men's roomsare typically split with like a
right, a wall device?

Mari (01:16:59):
it's not.
You're getting double thestalls.

Yeah yeah, exactly, exactly.
I'm not missing and I'm not.
I'll be honest here I'm.
If I had to go, that bad Iwould, but and couldn't wait.
I just go to my room yeah,that's the other thing.

Mari (01:17:10):
Like if you, if they're don't forget, there are
bathrooms elsewhere usually likeif there's a long line and you
really have to go, like there'sprobably another bathroom that
you might be able to walk to andget to quicker than you would
waiting in line.
So most public places have morethan one bathroom area.
Just because it's not theclosest one to where the book
convention is happening doesn'tmean it's the only one.

(01:17:31):
So once again, it goes back tolook at your maps and see where
the bathrooms are and things.
The last part of act right thatI will say is if you see
something going on that isn'tright, either speak up if you're
comfortable and safe doing so,or find someone else to handle
the situation.
If you are in a situation wheresomeone is being sexually

(01:17:55):
harassed or being picked on orsomething is going on and you
don't feel comfortable maybestanding up for them or saying,
hey, that's not right.
You know, stand up, for if youfeel safe to do so, if you feel
safe and comfortable doing so,then say something.
If you don't feel comfortableor safe in that situation, find
somebody these events havesecurity whose job it is to deal

(01:18:16):
with this stuff.
Find somebody and say something.
Oftentimes bad situations can bekept from getting worse if
people speak up.
So don't treat people like youwouldn't want to be treated, but
if you see something, saysomething Like I have been in a
situation at a convention whereI got groped and I didn't really

(01:18:39):
know what to do and then afterthe fact I found out there were
multiple people getting gropedat that same, around that same
time and place and I feel likeif I had said something to the
security that was there, maybethat person could have been
caught or stopped.
Of course you don't.
You don't think about that inthe moment when something is
happening to you, because you'rejust like obviously flustered.

Kelly (01:19:01):
You're like wait what?
You're stunned.
What just happened?

Mari (01:19:03):
Yeah so.
But if you're an outside person, if you see somebody doing
something to somebody else,you're probably in a calmer
headspace than the person that'shappening to.
So either say something ifyou're comfortable doing so, If
not, it's okay.
Say something to security orsomebody Like if you don't feel
comfortable or safe gettinginvolved in actually stopping
whatever's happening firsthand,find somebody whose job it is to

(01:19:25):
do that.

Something I do in difficult situations.
I try to practice like ahandful of like one liners not
jokes, but like if we, if wewere in a space and somebody
said something that was that wasquestionable, it would be my,
my response to them, and I thinkAshley knows this is well,
that's a.
That's an interesting thing tosay out loud.
Or even if it's like vague,what do you mean by that?

(01:19:53):
You know, get, know, get, get,almost get curious and disrupt
that behavior.
And if it was hands for me,like if I was seeing somebody,
if something was going on, itwould be like what?
What makes you think thatthat's the appropriate touch?
Right now yeah and maybe, andmaybe, and perspective is a

(01:20:14):
thing, so you, you'll, I wouldlook to the other person to
validate as well right so likemaybe it's, maybe they're
goofing around and I just caughtit at the wrong.
Hey, what?
What makes you?
and they say well, you know,that's my wife and my wife was
just teasing me and you knowyeah, that's, yeah, we're cool,
right, right.

Mari (01:20:31):
so context clues and everything else, but like, if
you do see something, like youknow, if someone's obviously
groping multiple people withoutthem interacting with the
groping person, then obviouslysomething's going on.
Or if you know, there's onething that science fiction,
fantasy conventions I feel havegotten right and have, for the

(01:20:52):
most part, drilled intoattendees is that cosplay is not
consent.
You'll see it on stickers,you'll see it on T-shirts
Cosplay is not consent.
So what that means is if aperson is in a very revealing
outfit or dressed as a very,maybe attractive character, or
even like sexual character orwhatever, that doesn't give you

(01:21:14):
permission to touch them,doesn't give you permission to
touch them, doesn't give youpermission to grope them, it
doesn't get none of that.

like there's still a person, male or female here's a
flex here that I that I've beenkind of watching on social media
when possible, it doesn't giveyou permission to photograph
them in compromising positions,exactly Like it's.
If, especially if, they have aunique and revealing costume.

(01:21:41):
And there's, there's, you'regoing to get some, some B-roll
footage, that's for sure,absolutely.
But if it's not directed at youknow, there's, that's the the
gray area.
If you walk into someone andyou're oh here, jessica rabbit
over here, let me take thispicture, as she's tying her shoe
and that's not.

Mari (01:22:01):
That's hugely inappropriate like cosplayers
put a lot of time and effortinto what they're doing and they
I've never, I've never, no, letme backtrack only only once
have I ever asked someone incostume to like to take their
picture and they said no, andthat one time was because they
were rushing off to a panel andthey didn't have the time to
stop and pose.
And that's okay, that's fine.
That's why you ask.

(01:22:21):
But every other time and I'vegotten like if any of you guys
follow me on on instagram orwhatever, you know, I take a
billion pictures of people'scool costumes like you ask for a
picture and they they will loveto ham it up for you because
they put all this work into itand, like people love to see
themselves.
Yeah, afterwards you'll seepeople asking hey, I was wearing
, you know, this Borg outfit orwhatever.

(01:22:42):
Did anyone take pictures of me?
And they're looking for peoplewho took pictures of them.
So for the most part, peoplewill want it, but they want to
do it in a pose that they havepracticed, not with, like, half
their helmet off while they'reeating a hamburger not with like
half their helmet off, whilethey're eating a hamburger.
You know, if you see a meeting,let them eat their hamburger.
Yes, please, they're as tiredas you are, maybe more, I

(01:23:02):
promise I'm a huge fan ofbackwards questions.

So if I, if I wanted a photo with you, it might sound
like it's now about time for apicture, right, and oftentimes
they're gonna say, no, it's nota bad time.
But if it is a bad time,they'll usually say, yep, it's a
bad time, but come back at thisother time.
Right, and I'll be and I'll behappy to.

(01:23:26):
They'll give you the solutionand when it's their plan, it
goes to plan, so yeah so allthis falls under the umbrella
act, right?

Mari (01:23:33):
word yep, anything else anybody wants to add to that?

Ashley (01:23:37):
No, I think you guys covered that very well.

Mari (01:23:39):
All right.
So then, the last thing thatyou don't maybe think about is
after the con.
So you've gone to your event.
What do you want to doafterwards?
Sleep, yes.
Recover Definitely Number one.
Recover, but also reflect likewas it what you expected it to
be?
Was it worth everything you putinto it?
Money, time planning Is itsomething you would recommend to

(01:23:59):
other people or that you wouldwant to do again?

Yeah, I think that's great.
Like, try to leave those thingsto the end.
Make those mental notes, buttry to like you're right, leave
those things to the end, don'tlet them consume and define the
event for you.

Mari (01:24:13):
No, no afterwards yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like this
is once you're home, onceyou're done, after the fact,
also feedback.
So most of these events have anofficial feedback, whether it's
an app or they maybe send out asurvey or they just ask
questions on social media orwhatever.
If they're asking for feedback,give them feedback, whether

(01:24:34):
that is positive or negative.
You want it to be truthful andyou want it to be critical, and
so what I mean by critical isyou don't want to say, oh, this
event sucked.
Ok, that doesn't tell anybodyanything.
Like what about it sucked?
What did you not like?
Like what could be better.
So be constructive in yourcriticism.

(01:24:54):
Give details so that ifsomebody else is thinking about
going, that they will have yourinput as well.

I would also say attack problems, not people.

Mari (01:25:04):
Yes.

I think a lot of people lose sight of that.
I didn't like this person.
Okay, what was the action?
What was the problem?
And I'm going to be honest, notthat they might be asking for
it, but it's probably not a badidea if you have the bandwidth
and the ability to say hey, Ihad this problem, this is what I
came up against, but I feellike this could be a solution.

Mari (01:25:30):
Right, yeah, if you can give feedback absolutely.

Yeah, it may not your solution may not be the answer,
but it's still.
It may trigger.
I can't tell you how many timesI'll have an obstacle or a
problem in front of me whereit's hey, this is a problem, and
then, like two hours later,we'll be handling a different
problem and the solution to thatwill trigger me exploring a
different solution in anothersituation.

Mari (01:25:54):
Yeah, and don't be shy about that, because throughout
history oftentimes a solution toone problem is a solution to
many problems.
So like, for example, if youlike to watch your TV or movies
with closed captioning, you canthank disability representation
for that.

(01:26:14):
Like I have to read it.
I have to read closedcaptioning.
But lots of things for that.
Like I have to read it.
I have to read closedcaptioning.
But lots of things like that.

It helps more people than just who you might be
initially trying to help.
Yeah, failure can be a solutiontoo.
Post-it notes that was anattempt to make a very strong
adhesive and they failed.
But they didn't classify it asa failure.
They were just like.
We accidentally made this verygentle adhesive.

Mari (01:26:40):
So, yeah, what can we use it for?

Exactly.
If you have a solution, share asolution.

Mari (01:26:45):
Yeah, also follow up on any networking or open issues.
So, like, if you met somebodyat the con and you were like, oh
you know, maybe, or like I likeX, y and Z, you should, you
should try this other thing,I'll send you a link on it.
Or maybe you were going tofollow up with somebody for,
like, try and get an advancedreader copy.

(01:27:06):
Or maybe you were talking aboutsomething completely unrelated
to the con, but it was somebodyyou met there and you were going
to message them about something.
All these like open-endedissues that you maybe didn't do
because you were in the middleof experiencing everything at a
con.
Go back and like, close thoseloops.
You know, do the things thatyou had said you were going to
do.
If you're going to get back tosomebody or send them something
or message them or whatever, goback and do that stuff.

But have forgiveness if somebody doesn't, don't chase
them down.
I was at an extremely busyevent last Saturday and came
across somebody who promised toshare links to watercolor
painting videos, but they had avery challenging.
Oh no, I'm screwed with youit's me.
I'm the problem.

(01:27:49):
I'm just messing with you, mara.
I thought that would be a cute.
Don't read into that, I am not.
I didn't even think about it.

Mari (01:27:55):
You're about to get a flood of watercolor videos once
we finish recording.

Don't read into that, I just can't.
It was me being cheeky.

Ashley (01:28:02):
Gentle reminders are preferred.
Yes, I was not.

I was not even thinking about it until we just
started talking, so don't.

Ashley (01:28:10):
Yeah, we've been busy Like same, same, same.
I'm just goofing.

I know you keep that in mind, like I have like for me
.
If I was waiting on that, Iwould nudge it.

Mari (01:28:19):
But yes gentle, a gentle kind yeah, and I don't think
anyone would have any anyanything negative to say about
that.
Absolutely correct correct.

So space and grace for people because you're traveling
, they're traveling right to gethome, they have to unpack, they
have to remember, and if a fewdays goes by it nothing wrong
with shooting a message sayinghey, it was great to meet you,
by the way.
Have you had an opportunity?
right, exactly any otherfeedbacky kind of stuff um, you
know what I think would be supergreat I don't know if we have a

(01:28:52):
resource for it um, if we hadlike a 10 point checklist.
Is there there a way to evenand this might be ad hoc, but
like it might be worthwhile tolink a checklist of like, just
even if it was like thecategories that you have broken
out here, like maybe some thingsto keep in mind what goes in

(01:29:12):
the bag, what to do when you getthere.

Ashley (01:29:14):
What to do afterwards.
Are you guys ready for this?
I got a Jonathanism.

Shoot.
What did I do?

Ashley (01:29:20):
Thank you for volunteering.

Mari (01:29:21):
Yes.
You've just been voluntold,jonathan, thank you.

Ashley (01:29:25):
You did it yourself, dude.
Okay, that's fine, you levelthis, just drop it in Excel.

Mari (01:29:31):
Yeah make it an Excel thing.

Yeah, okay.

Ashley (01:29:34):
Now he's excited, you guys can see his face, I win Yay
.

Mic drop Appreciate it .

Mari (01:29:46):
Last thing I would say is think about, like, organizing
your memories, however.
You like to maybe keep ajournal of the things you've
done, like a travel journal oran event journal, or maybe you
like to post photos or doscrapbooking whether it's for
personal stuff or for postingpublicly, it doesn't matter.
Whatever you do to like,process your memories, keep your
memories, have something to beable to look back on, whatever

(01:30:08):
that looks like for you.
Leave time in your scheduleafter an event to like, do that.

Maybe the weekend after that's what you're going
to do.
Yeah, oftentimes we take a lotof photos and I think they just
end up kind of like getting lostin the phone.
So taking time, like you said,to just even if it's just
organizing a bucket on cloud forthe event, you could do that
preemptively too.

Ashley (01:30:32):
I'm going to say Marie's really good about that.
I feel like cataloging hertrips and her experiences that
way.

Preemptively, you could set up your folders.

Mari (01:30:40):
Yeah, so that's something that I do like to do.
So I like to use Dropbox, butwhatever, whatever you like to
do as soon as I'm going to anevent.
So, for example, I've alreadypre-bought my ticket for
DragonCon 2026.
So I've created a folder in mylittle Dropbox where I keep my
photos DragonCon 2026.
And so I've already started toput in there, like my

(01:31:04):
screenshots of the tickets Ibought, just in case something
gets lost.
So I have one place where Ihave everything there and then,
as I start, like when I do startgoing to the event and taking
pictures and processing them, orscreenshots, or something I'm
trying to remember, like maybelook up this author, or connect
with this artist, or whatever, Ihave all that in one place,
rather than a billion randomscreenshots somewhere in my

(01:31:24):
phone.

Correct.
That's a great pro tip andthere's lots of different
resources for that stuff as well, like Microsoft, loop, trello,
dropbox, cloud, google Cloud,right.
Some of those are a lot of.
Those are free resources.
Google Cloud is a free resourceand Trello has a free version,

(01:31:46):
and they're all things that youcan use to track events and to
plan.

Mari (01:31:51):
And I would say, if you're more of a tactical, physical
touch kind of person, I'm tryingto remember it was for
Monsterotica BookCon and I don'tremember the name of the person
who did this, but theybasically pre-created a
scrapbook for the event, withthe author to interact with.

(01:32:12):
They had a page that wasalready filled out with, like
the books that they have readand they had to check.
They checked them off as theyread them leading up to the
event.
They had a spot where theywanted the author to sign and
like they had left a spot therefor a picture.
So when they took a picturewith the author and they would
get that, they would like stickit in there, you know, whenever
they got home or whatever.
But it was like a pre-donescrapbook, I guess, or journal

(01:32:35):
or whatever and everything wasjust very easy and ready to go.
But like think about it.
Like five years from now shecan look back on that and be
like oh look, this is when I met, you know, tiffany Roberts, or
Regina Bell, you know like, orOpal Rain, and it'd just be
right there, very easy.

So there wasn't a lot of it was a way to organize
herself ahead of time and alsomake it easy afterwards yes, and
I think in the moment too itcan make it easier how many
times you get in front of anauthor and you're like, oh, you
wrote, what book did you?
Okay, you wrote this, if youhave that sheet, and you're like
, yeah, I wrote this.
I read this book from thisauthor and this is the character

(01:33:12):
.
This is the character that Imost like.
That's.

Ashley (01:33:14):
So, that's what kind of goes on.
Physical goodreads is what shedid.
Yeah, yeah, and it wasn't foranybody but her.

Mari (01:33:20):
You know it's not like she was posting it anywhere, it was
for for for her own, likeenjoyment and memory jogger, and
, like you know, I'm sure sheenjoyed doing it too, just
because it was like a fun craftproject and make it an event out
of it.
So, yeah, even if you not likea somebody who's going to post
your stuff publicly, do stufffor yourself.
Yeah, all right.
Anything else we haven't talkedabout for these events that we

(01:33:42):
want to bring up before I wrapit up?

Ashley (01:33:44):
No, I think we covered a lot we did.
I can't wait to look back atJonathan's checklist.

Mari (01:33:51):
I know, maybe we'll have to post that once you do it.

So fans, yeah you feel free to judge it.

Mari (01:34:01):
If you need to, you know, send us a gentle reminder If we
haven't done, it Comes fullcircle.
Yeah, all right, kelly, you gotanything to add?

Kelly (01:34:10):
No.

Mari (01:34:11):
Okay, all right, so we are going to wrap it up then.
Thanks for listening to OfSwords and Soulmates.
Before we go, make sure tocheck the show notes, rate,
review and subscribe to us onyour podcast app of choice.
It helps others to find us andlet us know what you're enjoying
.
Follow us on Instagram, tiktok,youtube or Goodreads at Of
Swords and Soulmates.
Check us out on our websiteofswordsandsoulmatescom.

(01:34:32):
If you'd like to offer asuggestion for a future episode,
book topic, et cetera, feelfree to reach out to us.
If you want to read along withus as we prep for a new episode
and get chapter by chapterinteraction, join our Fable app
book club by searching for theOf Swords and Soulmates book
club.
And, last but not least, wehope that you'll join us in two

(01:34:53):
weeks for our next episode, whenwe when we will be discussing
vampires of el norte by isabelcanes.
Bye, bye, you.

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