September 30, 2025 • 39 mins
What happens when your life's mission collides with doubt, fear, and the practical demands of family? Rodrika Jones—author, certified life coach, and founder of Pearl Woman Ministry—joins us for a raw conversation about stepping boldly into purpose while battling both internal and external resistance.
Rodrika's journey began with a painful awakening when her daughter, whom she had raised as a teenage mother with complete devotion, expressed that she never wanted the life Rodrika had sacrificed everything to provide. In that moment of heartbreak, she heard God asking, "What are you going to do now?" His instruction was clear: stop focusing on what you lack and speak life into your future.
This pivotal moment birthed not only her first book, "My Choice of Words Changed My Life," but launched a ministry that exploded from a simple series of two-minute daily videos to reaching thousands of women worldwide in just 30 days. With disarming honesty, Rodrika shares how she navigated this unexpected calling while maintaining her roles as mother, wife, and full-time employee.
The conversation dives deep into practical wisdom for anyone struggling to balance multiple callings. Rodrika offers refreshing insights on establishing non-negotiables, being fully present with family, and recognizing the crucial difference between "good" opportunities and "God" opportunities. When faced with substantial investment offers that seemed beneficial on the surface, she explains how divine discernment protected her from paths that would "add sorrow" despite their immediate rewards.
Perhaps most powerfully, Rodrika challenges the common approach to resilience and vision. Rather than simply pushing through adversity or jumping from project to project, she advocates for thoroughly addressing wounds and maintaining consistent direction through writing out your vision. Her upcoming 365-day journal aims to help believers document divine guidance across all seasons, preventing them from being "tossed to and fro" by trends or misaligned opportunities.
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Intro/Outro (00:01):
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family and businesscollide, hosted by Brooke
Stemming, doctor of BusinessAdministration, business Coach
and Resilience Expert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
Dr. Brooks (00:37):
Welcome back to Off Balance.
I'm your host, dr Brooks.
Today we're diving into anissue that so many women face
wanting to live boldly in theirpurpose while battling doubt and
outside pressures.
My guest, roderika Jones, knownas your sister in strength, is
here to share how she empowerswomen to think differently,
speak boldly and embrace thelife they were created for.
Roderika is a passionate author, certified life coach and a
(00:59):
dynamic speaker who leads withpurpose, encouragement and
authenticity.
Speaker who leads with purpose,encouragement and authenticity.
As the founder of Pearl WomanMinistry, roderika is on a
mission to empower women to livefully in their God-given
purpose.
Whether she's writing, speakingor sharing words of
encouragement online, she usesher voice to uplift and inspire
(01:20):
others to step confidently intothe life that they were created
for.
Beyond her calling, she findsjoy in spending time with her
husband and children.
Please welcome to the show,roderika.
Hey, hi, roderika, thank you somuch for joining us here on Off
Balance.
I am so excited to have you.
(01:42):
Before we get started, can youintroduce yourself to our
listeners and share about whoyou are and what type of?
Rodrika Jones (01:49):
work you do Absolutely.
Hey everybody, I'm Roderika.
I love people.
I can name so many things thatI love to do.
I am a mother, I am a wife andI love my children.
I love my husband, and that isjust something that comes
natural to me.
Outside of that, I lovebuilding women through writing
and speaking.
Dr. Brooks (02:09):
What made you develop a passion for wanting to
empower other women?
Rodrika Jones (02:15):
It's so interesting.
I've always done it in a sense,but I had my first daughter at
16 years old and I raised her.
I was super involved in herlife, so much so I think she
inadvertently she was my God andbecause, coming up, I did not
have the support that I wouldhave liked to have from my
parents.
And so, having my daughter atsuch a young age, I never wanted
(02:37):
my age to be an excuse for meto mishandle her and then blame
it, whatever trauma or whateverI would cause her later on in
life.
I never wanted my age to be anexcuse for me mishandling her,
like I said, and then being oneof those people and just saying
I was young, just get over it.
I never wanted to do that and Iwas extremely involved in her
life.
And after I raised her toadulthood, she was 19 years old,
(03:01):
in college and one day shestated she said I just decided
not to go to school, like I justI don't want to do it and
because I was so involved, itwas very unhealthy and I had to
sit with myself and I was likewhat are we going to do next,
because my life has been soinvolved in her life, One of
(03:22):
those things where you livethrough your children type of
thing, because I did not haveagain the support and things of
that nature.
And when she said that to me,it really caused me to take a
step back.
It hurts very bad, but it alsocalled me to take a step back
and say you know what?
This is her truth.
Right, and she stated.
She said the life that you guysgave me and all of the
(03:44):
sacrifice, all the things thatwe've done.
She said I never wanted that.
And so again, looking at that,I had to say this is her truth.
Although it hurts, although itwas very frustrating, it was a
lot of things.
In those moments I heard theLord saying so what are you
going to do now?
And all along he was telling meto encourage women, but I would
always come up with an excuse.
(04:04):
How, all along, he was tellingme to encourage women, but I
would always come up with anexcuse how am I going to help
other women when your daughterneeds you?
And then, through heradolescence year, how am I going
to help other women when yourdaughter doesn't want to listen
to you?
And so when she turned 19 andshe said that to me, she said
I've never wanted that life thatyou guys had basically given me
.
We handed her everything.
I know this is a drawn outanswer, but I think it's very
important to paint the picturefor people.
(04:26):
When the Lord asked me what wasI going to do?
And before I even answered, theLord stopped me in my tracks.
He said don't think about whatyou don't have.
Don't think about what youdon't know.
Don't let those be a decisionfactor in what you're going to
say next.
And I sat there for probablyabout 40 seconds, just in
silence, and I said I want toencourage women through writing
(04:46):
and through speaking.
And he said how are you goingto do that?
You don't even at this pointlike you.
You're so broken.
And the Lord was just showingme pictures and ideas and
thoughts of me and I said you'reright.
I said I have to sit in thisand I heard him so clear.
And he said it's going to beyour choice of words that change
your life.
And I jumped on my phoneinstantly and I went to my notes
pad and I began to startwriting just journaling.
(05:07):
I've always had a love forjournaling.
As a little girl I didn't talkmuch, and so I've always
journaled, I've always written,and so I went to my notes
section and I began to write thenotes and the Lord gave me my
first book.
It's my Choice of Words Changedmy Life and I had no idea I was
going to write a book.
I was just trying to organizemy thoughts and it just worked.
(05:30):
And I jumped in from there andjust was like I have to be able
to help women to navigatecertain spaces in their life,
based off of the things thatI've been through, but also so
that people can understand thepower of the oneness with God.
Dr. Brooks (05:40):
What I heard you say was you were doing all of
these great things and you wereraising your daughter and you
had great intentions, but itwasn't until she told you that
it was a bit much.
How did that make you feel torecognize that you were broken?
Rodrika Jones (05:57):
In that moment when she said that to me and
this is so interesting but sodeep.
So in that moment and I thinkit's because of what I was
previously told prior to havingher it was always saying things
like you're stupid, like you'redumb, you'll never be anything.
And so those feelings came backup.
Right, because for 19 years Inever really had to deal with
those feelings because I knewthat I was a great mother to my
(06:19):
daughter, not because I had beentaught how to, but was very
strategic.
I would ask people stuff.
I was not afraid, I was notshameful like I, none of that
stuff.
And so I knew I was a goodmother to her because I did it
deliberately.
But again, it was just one ofthose things where you're not
maybe paying attention, and soit wasn't the life totally the
life that we had given her, butit was more of the things.
(06:41):
We did not make her do certainthings and we gave her any and
everything that she couldpossibly want and we thought
that it was like everything, butreally and truly she just
wanted time.
That's not what she wanted wastime.
And back to your question how Ifelt.
I felt rejected, I felt hurt, alittle bit of me felt man, am I
really not anything Like whatam I doing now?
(07:04):
And then I said to say no, this, like sometimes, we have to
take when people say hard thingsto us, you have to take it at
face value.
Don't unpack it, don't undo it,don't make it more than what it
is, but take it at face value.
And that's what I had to dowhen she said that to me because
, again, this was her truth.
As much as it hurt, as much asall of the things that I could
(07:24):
have possibly felt in thatmoment, it was her truth.
And so I had to sit with it forjust a second and determine
what was my next move.
Will I spend another 19 yearsupset with her?
Would I spend another 10 daysnot forgiving her?
So I had to walk this thinglike okay, I really have to like
one, just figure out what mynext move is.
(07:44):
But then, when I understand mynext move, now I have to write
it out.
Dr. Brooks (07:48):
I'm a writer, so I just always got to be like okay,
no matter what it is, I got towrite because I got to calculate
my thoughts.
What was it like after you wentthrough the writing?
And then you're like okay, nowI have this assignment, so how
am I going to?
Rodrika Jones (08:02):
execute.
The Lord has spoke to mepreviously about Pearl Woman.
I was in the store purchasingsome things for one of my
children, some medicine orsomething and he said Pearl
Woman.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
I wasn't even a person thatwore pearls at all, and so I
just started purchasing pearls,started looking up the like
meanings of pearls and things ofthat nature and really had no
(08:23):
idea what I was going to do.
And I was asleep.
One day I was asleep and theLord woke me up and he said go
forth.
And I'm like what do you mean?
Because, again, I'm not a techsavvy person, have never really
been a fan favorite, veryreserved, homebody, didn't
really talk to people.
I was misunderstood, it wasjust a lot.
(08:43):
And one day, when the Lord saidgo forth, I said okay, I'm
going to do it.
It was like my birthday and Idid a vlog two minutes or less.
The Lord said do it throughentericement, but I need you to
give them my word and I need youto give them an action step
Every single day.
The Lord woke me up likeclockwork.
He was like just go for it.
And so when I first started andthis is how Pearl Woman was
(09:04):
birthed.
I did a vlog and I created hesaid, create a private group,
because there's going to be someconversations that are going to
take place that need to beprivate.
People have not talked aboutthese things.
And so I got up and I didn'tknow what I was going to say and
it was like go, the camera wason on my phone and I just said,
hey, this is Rodriguez, yoursister in strength, and I was
(09:25):
like, where did that even comefrom?
I don't know.
I think that I'm like, and itwas just like the Lord was
speaking to me and I recorded it.
I didn't edit it because Ididn't know anything about that,
I just posted it and I went tosleep because I was so afraid of
, like, the rejection and thingsof that nature, and it just
took off.
It literally took off in 30days.
Just took off.
(09:45):
It literally took off in 30days.
It was about and I wasn't even,I wasn't even paying attention.
I was just so focused on whatthe Lord was saying through
these vlogs every day.
I had seven days of just things, whatever the Lord would say
that morning.
But it started off with make ithappen Monday.
Tackle it Tuesday.
Work it out Wednesday thinkabout it.
Thursday.
Fearless Friday, celebrateyourself.
Saturday.
And satisfied Sunday.
And so again, I did this everysingle day, given just these
(10:07):
little two minute or lessencouragement, the word of God
and again an action step.
And that's the way Pearl Womanwas birthed.
And it was.
Women all over the worldfollowed me and something
happened and it caused me toopen up my eyes and look and I
got afraid and I jumped back andI was like, oh, what am I doing
?
And I got in my head I did so,yeah, that's the way it was like
(10:28):
from that day, from that day, Istarted writing and then, when
my book was released for mybirthday is when I did I said
you know what?
Cause?
I turned 37.
I said I no longer want toexist, I'm going to start living
.
And in my living I was like I'mgoing to do this as a birthday
(10:50):
gift to myself.
And I never really celebratedmy birthday prior to that, ever,
and I'm a twin and yeah, and Inever did.
And so ever since then, for mybirthday, every single year, I
launched something in the earth,I released something in the
earth.
I don't know what the Lord,whatever he says, do.
I do that as a way of thankinghim for allowing me to breathe
on that day.
Dr. Brooks (11:03):
That's a blessing, and God is so intimate with us.
So can you explain how was Godusing the motivational tools
that you were releasing to otherwomen to minister to you?
Rodrika Jones (11:15):
Yeah, that's so funny.
You said that I was gettinglike inboxes and I didn't.
First of all, I didn't evenknow what that was Like.
It's like Facebook came withthis thing and again, mind you,
I'm not tech savvy at all and Iwas getting like all of these
messages.
It was creeping me out becauseI'm like who are these people?
Like, I didn't know thesepeople and they were like oh my
God, your video.
(11:35):
It just blessed me and I'vealways been a person, brooks, to
where if you're going throughsomething and if I'm within arm
reach, meaning like if I'm inthe city, I'm going to come to
you, I'm going to pray with you,I'm going to encourage you, I'm
going to hug you.
I just have always been likethat, not on the big scale, but
just in my personality.
I will be up all night.
I'm talking about women allover the world sending me
(11:56):
inboxes, calling me throughMessenger hey, can you talk?
Because it's like a seven hourdifference from people in
different countries anddifferent states.
It was like one blessing afterthe next.
And I was a financial analystat the credit union, so I'm like
trying to do loans at work andI can't do loans because I'm
like these people need me.
And it's so funny because andmy husband will tell you I have
(12:18):
been a person that had beenfired like 60 something times.
Working has never been, it hasnever been my thing.
I'm like you know what Y'allwant me to come in.
Five days a week, nine to five.
I'm missing too much,particularly in my children's
life.
I'm like, no, because I got toleave, I got to pick them up, I
got to and I just neverunderstood that and it's so
(12:39):
interesting.
But during this season I hadactually quit my job after being
fired, feeling like you'reoverlooked and all of these
things.
And I told my husband, I wenthome and I said, king, I said I
think that it's time for me toput my two weeks in, because
these women were needing me likeevery day and we were
conquering some really deepthoughts and things that they
(13:01):
were going to and we was likesearching the word of God,
because that's the way I wasable to do it.
I get that.
I've got my experience.
I get that.
You have your experience, butlet's check and see what the
word says concerning this.
And I was teaching them wordapplication.
People be in my office doing aloan.
I'm like hold on, give me onemoment, hey.
And they was like man, we'retrying to figure out, what are
(13:21):
you doing, like we are paying.
And I was like oh snap, lord,I'm still in time.
I'm like I got to go.
And so I told my husband.
I said King, I said I think Ineed to put my two weeks in.
And I guess the Lord wasspeaking to him because I again
at this time I think I wasworking there maybe about two or
three years or something thatwas like long overdue Cause I
didn't really do jobs and stufflike that.
(13:42):
And he was like okay, he waslike just put your two weeks in
tomorrow.
And so the next day I went inand I was like I got to go.
There's people that are waitingon me.
And they was like because theyhad been watching my videos too,
and they were like we waswondering when you was going to
like when you were going to go.
And so it was just moments likethat I'm telling you just not
only the people calling it, buteven just the testimonials of
(14:03):
marriages mended back together,women rekindling their lives
with their daughters, justundoing some things in their
life, and it was just like onething after another and the Lord
was just like yeah, this iswhere I got you right now.
Once I was like go, I was justgoing and I didn't even look up
to see really the impact that Iwas making in that sense.
But then, like I said, in that30 days it was like literally a
(14:26):
thousand women.
I'm like what's happening?
What do I do now and now, selfstepped in the way, and now I
feel like I have to do somethingwithin my own strength to keep
this momentum going.
And they did this and they didthat and really and truly, it
was just, they just wanted toeat the words of my lips every
single morning.
It was like it woke you up toencourage you and get you
basically started on your day.
Dr. Brooks (14:48):
You often talk about balance and being
intentional, especially as awife, a mom and ministry leader.
What are some practical waysthat you are able to maintain
balance in your life?
Rodrika Jones (15:00):
One thing that I do is I work with balance and
harmony together and justunderstanding that a lot of
times we have to understand thatsome things are in seasons and
so, when it comes toparticularly my job because
that's something again that I'mstill not used to having and I
do have a lot of flexibility,but I think that's why I'm still
there.
Although I love it, it's stillone of those things where you
(15:27):
have to, like, sometimescalculate your day and in those
moments when, like ministry isjust like it's, it calls for a
lot of work, I have tocommunicate that one to my
husband.
I have to overly communicate itto, particularly to my 13 year
old, because she's mama.
Anybody else in the church cando it, we don't.
And then my husband be likethey can't hire no help, and my
job particularly is theassistant right.
So for me it's just overlycommunicating.
(15:49):
However, when I'm not at work,it's literally totally
unplugging and being present,being there, like when my
daughter she's a car rider whenshe gets in the car and even
before she gets out of the car,there is no phone for me.
I'm not on the phone, I'm nottaking phone calls, things of
that nature, if it's somethingthat I must take.
I literally say hold on, giveme a moment.
And I greet my daughter hey,how was your day?
(16:10):
What happened at school today?
And we'll have.
And they need to say on our hey, look at 2.35,.
When my daughter gets in thiscar, either one I'm going to
have to let you go or I'm goingto have to put you on mute.
And as much as I can, I try tobe totally present when I need
to be present, and because youknow how your kids are, they
want your time, but then theydon't want to give the time, and
so I try to toggle between thetwo.
(16:31):
But for me it's just reallywhen I need to be present, being
present, and I feel like thathas worked best for us.
My husband and I also mark upthe value of vacationing, even
if it's a staycation.
Hey, you know what?
I'm not coming in?
It's particularly if I've hadto do something where it's
really caused a lot of time away.
And then every day, also, inaddition to that, every single
day, about 8.30, me and myhusband, it's our time you know
(16:56):
he don't have his phone, I don'thave my phone and we just
connect to try to help usbalance and harmony together.
Dr. Brooks (17:03):
I like that you talked about making sure that
you disconnect and you spendthat time in the present with
your family, because that's soimportant.
I think sometimes, when Godgives us assignments and he also
back burner because we're soeager to pursue our assignments,
(17:27):
what would you say to listenersthat are listening and they may
feel like they don't have thecapacity to do both?
What strategies can you givethem to carve out that time for
their family?
Rodrika Jones (17:37):
Going back to my daughter, who's 25, like today,
instead of going into theoffice to work.
I was at her house at 745 thismorning and I spent the entire
day with her, without Rayma,without my husband again, so
that we can have time togetheras well.
And so, when it comes tocertain things, they have to be
(18:00):
non-negotiable.
You have to havenon-negotiables in your life,
because if anything isnegotiable, it'll always be
negotiated right To that personwho feels like man, I don't have
this man.
I don't have that Because, I'mgoing to be honest, being a
person that was a homebody,didn't really do anything
outside of my family, even tothe point of being fired from my
(18:21):
job, quitting my job.
All of that really had referenceto the person that I was in my
family.
If things got too hectic,things didn't get done.
Things needed to be done.
I was always the one to makethe sacrifices to do that,
whether it be fire, whether itbe quit or whatever the case is.
And so it was easy and it is iseasy for me to do things that
(18:43):
are concerning the house.
It was difficult for me to dothings that are outside of my
house and the things that theLord is calling me to do.
However, the Lord was tellingme.
He said, rodriguez, you cannotnegotiate your future.
The things that I'm calling youto do, you can't negotiate them
.
But he said if you lack wisdom,then you ask me.
And so in those moments I'mlike God, show me how to
(19:07):
navigate this and show me what Ican and what I cannot do.
And so, even going back to thecommunication piece, when I'm
trying to be in a season ofwriting my book, all while
working, having a daughter whois a car rider, who takes her
lunch, having a husband who isbasically my husband is set, he
already has his degrees, he'salready in his job, he doesn't
really do anything outside ofour home, really outside of
worship, which is one night aweek, so he's in the house, like
(19:28):
where you at, what we doing,and so, again, overly
communicating those times whereI have to be able to show him
that there are certain thingsthat I got to do, Like I have to
do these because these have todo with what I believe is my
worth and it's outside of youguys, and I can't negotiate it.
Sometimes we might, because it'sjust easier to do what you've
(19:51):
always done, but in thosemoments you have to do this
thing I call a self-talk right,and in the self-talk you have to
talk yourself in a positive wayto do the things that you say
that you want to do, and that'sin the home, outside the home,
around the home or whatever thecase is.
And then they just have tounderstand.
We even did this thing becauseI am in ministry.
We do this thing where if myhusband calls me and say, hey,
(20:13):
where are you at, instead of mesaying at church, I'll say I'm
at work, or I'll say I'm at thebuilding, right, and church is
on Sunday because this is my joband so we have to just do some
of those things to help.
And then you have to remindpeople and you the way you treat
yourself, is the way you'reteaching other people to be able
to treat you.
Dr. Brooks (20:33):
That is so true.
Rodrika Jones (20:34):
Two things non-negotiable, right.
And then you teach people howto treat you by the way you
treat yourself.
Not just I'm just this person,because even like my husband and
my children be like explainyour wife.
Oh my God, she's such a goodmom, she's such a good wife and
you think, is that it?
(20:54):
But in the grand scheme, that'sall you've shown them.
Yeah, you haven't shown themanything else.
When I wrote my first book myOldest Daughter the book is $15.
She had $20.
And, mind you, you know youalways giving your kids money
she said I would purchase thebook, but I don't have any
change.
Imagine how that made me feel.
(21:15):
But then, on the flip side ofit, because I kept going and I
didn't let that stop me, Irealized really and truly, like
she's a kid, like I don't wantto give you my whole 20.
So, rodrigo, don't take it thatserious.
And sometimes it's something onthe inside of us that God is
trying to work out.
And so when I thought aboutthat and I kept pressing, even
(21:35):
now she's oh my God, I'm takingthis class with Dr T and she's
like looking at my homework andshe's oh my God, mama, you're
doing such a good job.
But just imagine if Inegotiated my future, the future
that God has called me to live.
I would have still just beenmama and I would have still just
been the wife.
Right, and it's not abouttitles, but it's about for me.
(21:55):
I want to die empty, I don'twant to like just man, all of
this potential in the grave andall of this and all of that
because we continue to negotiate.
So don't negotiate.
That person just listened.
Don't negotiate.
In whatever way you feel likeyou don't, then you're not.
But if you believe that you can, you will.
(22:15):
It may not be in the grandscheme or it may not be on the
way somebody else does it, butit'll be in the way that you're
supposed to do it, and whatevertime that looks like, if it's
once a day, twice a week,whatever the case is, Earlier,
you talked about rejection whenit came to writing your book,
how were you able to overcomethe fear of rejection and
(22:38):
release that book For me?
when I step outside of myself, Iget real excited.
I don't know if y'all can tellI'm excited like now, Like I'm
normally, like I talk to, I saywhatever the case is, but I
think it was knowing that theLord had allowed me to make it
through the things that I'vemade it through.
Right, my husband is not myfirst door biological father and
(23:03):
so even when it came to thethings such as having a husband
after being just doing basicallya single parent, not having to
follow, he walked past me likehe don't know me and just all of
these things and all of thesethings that could have came with
that, I had to tell myself, nomatter what had been ingrained
in me.
I said, Lord, I made it.
You let me make it througheverything that I've been
(23:25):
through.
I'm in my right frame of mind.
I don't.
I'm not struggling, I don'thave any mental illness.
I have every activity of mylimb.
Like for the majority, I thinkthat I'm good.
There's some good there.
I might be broken, but there'ssome good there and all of these
things that I said, Lord,there's no way that there's no
man on this earth that loves meand that can love my daughter.
(23:53):
I had no idea it was a man ofGod, but me just saying that
broke the curse off of my life,that I had been living for so
long, and so I took that samemindset when it came to me doing
what the Lord had called me todo, whether it be to have a
one-on-one conversation, whetherit meant for me to have a
conversation with somebodysomewhere else or whatever the
case is, or even to write mybook.
Like when I was in it, I'm likesomebody's going to be
delivered Listen here, becauseI'm delivered right, Because I'm
(24:13):
healed.
Somebody is going to just takea chance on themselves because I
did, and I did only because ofGod.
And so when I get in thatmoment and I realize especially
I don't even got to look backover my life Like when I just
just think about me sitting here, talking to you and breathing,
like it's just, I have torelease this, because there's
somebody that's going to beconnected and if it can just
(24:35):
change just a glimpse of theirmind, I need to be able to do it
.
I want to do it Like I'mexcited to do it.
Like my first book.
You can't stop reading it.
People were reading it.
In two, three days.
They was like this is good.
Even when I get discouraged, Ipick it up and I'm like Lord, I
wrote this is good.
I'm talking about from thebeginning, all the way through
(24:55):
and it's I think it's 62 pages,so it's not long at all, but it
is really good.
Dr. Brooks (25:11):
And again, I think to answer your question is just
my excitement and my drive tosee other people not live the
life that I live, but live alife that may be impossible to
so many people.
Rodrika Jones (25:20):
I am so glad that you released your book and
since we're talking about it,can you tell people what your
book is about and who is yourtarget audience for your book?
Yeah, so I have two differentbooks.
One is my Choice of WordsChanged my Life, and in that
book I just went over somescenarios in life that I have
been through and how I have usedthe word of God to help me make
the right decision.
Where I come from, people gooff of their feelings a lot, and
(25:44):
so we say things that we don'treally mean.
We act in ways that we reallyhave not thought out.
We just like full of emotionsand in my life I'm like I can't
rely on.
I can't rely on these emotions.
I got to learn the word of God,or I have to learn some words
of something that's moredependable than what I've been
(26:05):
going through, and so I use thatword.
I use that particular bookagain to help people who just
want to change their life, andthey want to change their life
by speaking from Proverbs 18 and21, where it talks about the
power of death, and life is inthe tongue and those who love it
will eat it through, and so,really, that whole book is just
to teach your mouth how to speak.
(26:25):
Yeah, and so in my second bookis how to Conquer a Defeated
Mindset.
That book is particularly tohelp people really consider the
word doubt and look at how youoperate and how you move and
doubt and how doubt can justsnatch you just that quick and
change the whole trajectory ofyour life right.
It's like even when the Lordasked me, he said, rodrigo, what
(26:46):
you gonna do now?
And I begin to speak and hesaid, no, wait, don't think
about who you, what you ain'tgot, because I always did that.
I'd be like man, I could dothis, I could do that, I could
do this, I can do that, but Idon't have this, but I don't
have this, but I don't have that.
And the Lord remembered thatbecause we got history with him
right and he knew what I spokeout of my mouth was detrimental
(27:07):
to my next, and so even himsaying that.
And so for me it's like how canwe navigate this defeated
mindset?
And then the hyperlink is whenall I can see is who I'm not.
So it's not that we're notconquering, it's not that we're
not succeeding, it's not thatwe're not making it.
My vision is only on thosethings that I'm not, which is
(27:28):
really stopping me, andsometimes it's just those little
bitty small things.
It's like that doesn't evenmake sense.
And the Lord told me.
He said Rodrigo.
He said, look, you're not foreverybody, right, because we
want to be liked, we want to beinvited, we wanted this, we
wanted that, he said, but you'renot for everybody.
He said but your purpose formany and I need you to stay
focused on the many.
And I was like, okay, becauseit would stop me in my tracks.
(27:51):
They didn't support him, theydidn't say nothing, they didn't
like it, they didn't this, theydidn't that.
He said, no, you got to stayfocused and your future cannot
be negotiable.
And again, that particularaudience and now I'm, in this
different season, going to bereleasing.
It's actually a journal, it's a365 day journal releasing
November 4th, which is my 42ndand a half birthday, and I'm
(28:13):
releasing that particular one tohelp people write the vision
for their life, as it talksabout in Rebecca, and so I'm
really just diving into reallythat whole book and helping
people to write out what thevision is that they believe, as
God speaks to them throughoutthe 365 days concerning their
life, so that they havesomething to go back on.
(28:33):
I think that a lot of times Godgives us things and what
happens is we get excited in themoment but then we forget, for
whatever reason.
We forget what the Lord issaying to us.
But this will give you ablueprint.
So say, for instance, if you'reselling clothes, you're selling
books, and somebody say you knowwhat To get you there, you can
just start selling hot dogs atthe hot dog stand and it'll get
(28:56):
you some money real quick.
And if you don't have a plan,you're thinking about this money
real quick.
You're not thinking about thetime, the energy that you're
going to take to build upsomething that God never called
you to.
But if you have this vision,you can go back and you say why
would I do that?
That don't make sense, butsomething that you've written
out, that you will have in yourheart.
And you're right not sayingthat you're removing the Holy
(29:17):
Spirit, because I know he'llcome and direct.
But again, so many people don'teven have visions or plans for
their life, so they just followfor anything, you with the next
best, you with the trends, youwith the fads, rather than what
is God calling me to do as anindividual?
What is God calling me to do,and how am I cultivating that?
Dr. Brooks (29:36):
What made you come up with doing it for 365 days,
versus a 30 day or 45 days?
Rodrika Jones (29:42):
Yeah, because so throughout my life the Lord has
been showing me and I got verydiscouraged.
Probably about about three daysago the Lord gave me this
journal and I'm just a writer,when he gives me I can write it
in like a day, because I'm justgo, go, go.
But for me it was like the Lordwas showing me Rodrigo, you do
(30:02):
this and then you have noadditional plans.
You do this and then you haveno additional plans.
You do this and then you haveno additional plans.
You do this and you have noadditional plans.
And I'm like, yeah, you'reright because you are.
And so for me it was like, howabout if we, instead of just
doing these quick fixes like theworld wants us to do 30 days,
(30:23):
you all in, you done lost weight, you done worked out, you done,
did this and you did that.
Now you've, you're on thisjourney.
Right, because they say 21 dayscreates a new habit.
But what if we really dive inand dive deep, like real deep
for our lives, and just seeourself in every season of the
year, not just in the summerwhen things are good, not just
(30:43):
in the fall, when things arelaid back and warm and cozy, but
like in your just seeing yourlife in its entirety for one
whole year, to write out thevision that you see and that
you're walking with God,constantly inviting the Holy
Spirit in to walk this thing outwith you, and you will be able
to see where the enemy has comein to deceive you, to trick you
and to steal from you, to robyou just what the word says.
(31:04):
But then you'll also be able tosee what God said but I've come
, that you might have life andhave it more abundantly.
You'll be able to do thatbecause you walk in the vision
and you don't have to wait andbe like you know what.
Let me run to my prayer closet.
No, the word says have thatword hidden in my heart and I
think as we write it, as we divein it, as we really sit with
ourselves, it'll help you toreally just, without a doubt, be
(31:28):
who God has called you to be.
Not necessarily in its fullness, but you'll be sure about what
God's calling you to.
Because even with me, like I'mso creative, I got so many arms
in the fire and I believe thatthey all will work together.
But I'm like God, what am Iworking towards?
And I haven't written thevision and he's told me to do it
so many times and literally,just like I gave that hot dog
(31:48):
analogy, there has been so manypeople that have come to me and
I'm like, girl, oh my God, youshould do this, you should do
that.
Even the point, brooks, when Ireleased my clothing line, there
was somebody who came to me andshe said, hey, you didn't tell
me that you released yourclothes.
I was like, oh, I forgot, likeI, just I, you didn't tell me
that you released your clothes.
I was like, oh, I forgot, likeI just I've been going because I
work and all of the things.
(32:09):
And she was like, oh my God, Iheard it did so well and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, this andany other.
And I was like thank you, Iknew it was going to do well
because the Lord told me to doit.
So I wasn't worried necessarilyabout that.
And she was like no, the Lorddidn't tell me that.
I was like no, I have notconsidered.
And she's like, oh, okay, so wekept talking.
(32:30):
And then she was like I want tobe.
And I was like and so again,now the flesh then clicked in.
I'm like we go back.
I said so who is the investor?
What is?
She was like oh, I am.
She's like we can go anywhere,we go store you want.
We did about all of that.
I'm like, okay, so I thinkabout.
(32:50):
So let's schedule a meeting,let's talk about it and see.
And we had, the meeting wasgood.
And I got home and the Lord saiddon't you forget what I showed
you in the dream.
And I said, oh, I called, Isaid thanks, but no thanks.
Another investor.
He came and he was real niceand he this and the Lord, he
whispered in my ear.
He said the blessings of theLord make it rich.
And added no sorrow If you take, this is going to bring sorrow
(33:11):
upon you and your family, notright now, but later.
And I said, sir, listen, thiscall, thank you, I appreciate
you so much.
And in those moments we got tobe so careful about the things
that we do and we got to be likein tune with God and have a
vision for our life so that wenot all kilter.
And everybody around me,particularly with the guy,
(33:33):
everybody around me was like youdidn't negotiate, you didn't
consider, you didn't this, youdidn't that, you didn't.
And I said no.
The Lord said.
This is what he's telling me.
The blessings of the Lord makeit rich, adds no sorrow.
This is going to add sorrow.
It might be good now we'retalking $100,000, not like it's
that much, but we're talking$150,000.
(33:55):
It may be good now, but this isgoing to add sorrow to your
life and to your family's life.
This business has set up alegacy and you're going to do
this just to have something.
Oh, set up a legacy and you'regoing to do this just to have
something.
Oh, absolutely not.
Not when you're walking withGod and God's hand is on
something that God has calledyou to do.
And so, again, having thatmindset and like we can't be,
(34:16):
like tossed to and fro, we can'tbe outkilled, so we can't be
wanting to go with the trendsand the fads and this, and that
you got to be sure about whatGod is calling you to do, and in
order to do that, you got to beable to write out the vision.
Dr. Brooks (34:29):
You are dropping gems.
My coaching clients.
I asked them a question.
I said I understand you'retelling me it's good, but is it
God?
Because something could be good, like the investors coming to
you that was good, but was itGod?
And then, they have this look intheir eye like what are you
talking about?
I said, just because somethingis good means it's not going to
bring you physical harm, meansthat it's going to advance your
(34:51):
family, it's going to have allof these positive benefits.
But it's that, god?
So how do you define andcultivate resilience in your
life and what advice can yougive our listeners on developing
their resilience in the face ofadversity?
Rodrika Jones (35:03):
I think it goes back to that non-negotiation,
not negotiating the things that,again, you believe that you
were set out to do.
And when it comes to resilienceand just being able to navigate
through adversity, like I thinksometimes we get, we're so,
particularly for me and where Icome from, we're determined to
(35:24):
get past it.
We don't want to deal with it,we want to just go and just
become somebody else tomorrow.
But sometimes when you do that,things begin to lay dormant.
And when they lay dormant thenthey'll come up at the wrong
time.
And so I think it's good for usto deal with, especially with
those particular things that weknow in adversity and trying to
(35:45):
overcome.
It is to deal with those thingsand then, as you deal with them
, then move healthy, then moveto the next thing.
Right, because I think eventhat is resilient, to overcome
that type of stuff.
And so for me it's just beingdetermined, doing self-talk,
like talking myself through somethings, not being reactive to
(36:05):
things but being proactive,meaning again I'm going back and
I'm uprooting.
I'm asking particularly mychildren are so important to me,
my children have I saidsomething to you that maybe
shook you?
Have I done something to youthat maybe you didn't understand
?
Have me and your daddy parentedyou in a season of your life,
meaning just a time period ofyour life, where maybe you
(36:25):
didn't understand it?
Can we go back and give alittle bit more explanation to
that?
Again, sometimes we don't goback and undo things and I think
when we don't do that ithinders us in that resilient
space.
It dulls a little bit to mebecause again, you're not going
back and navigating reallythrough adversity.
You just say you came throughit, but really and truly you
(36:47):
didn't really come through it.
You just started doingsomething new.
And so for me I say go back andlook like, really look at your
life and see what things thatyou can undo.
It may be a lot of things andit may not be as many things.
Dr. Brooks (36:58):
You was talking about your mindset and how that
you self-talk reaffirmed things.
You talked about how you bringin the word of God, how that's
so important, how it's importantto write your vision, how it's
important also to surroundyourself with people that are
going to encourage and motivateyou, because that is what Pearl
Women Ministry is it's a groupof people that is just
(37:18):
motivating and encouraging oneanother.
And so, again, thank you somuch for joining.
And you said that your journalwill be out on November the 4th.
Will that be on all of theplatforms?
Rodrika Jones (37:30):
Yes, so it'll be Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
How to Conquer a DefeatedMindset is on Cabo and it's at.
Dr. Brooks (37:36):
Walmart too.
Okay, so I will have all of herinformation in this episode
description, so make sure thatyou go out and support her.
Roderika, thank you so much forjoining us.
You have been such a blessing.
Intro/Outro (37:54):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your hostor to book a coaching session,
visit wwwbrooksdemmingcom.
Until next time, rise.
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family and businesscollide, hosted by Brooke
Stemming, doctor of BusinessAdministration, business Coach
and Resilience Expert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
Dr. Brooks (00:37):
Welcome back to Off Balance.
I'm your host, dr Brooks.
Today we're diving into anissue that so many women face
wanting to live boldly in theirpurpose while battling doubt and
outside pressures.
My guest, roderika Jones, knownas your sister in strength, is
here to share how she empowerswomen to think differently,
speak boldly and embrace thelife they were created for.
Roderika is a passionate author, certified life coach and a
(00:59):
dynamic speaker who leads withpurpose, encouragement and
authenticity.
Speaker who leads with purpose,encouragement and authenticity.
As the founder of Pearl WomanMinistry, roderika is on a
mission to empower women to livefully in their God-given
purpose.
Whether she's writing, speakingor sharing words of
encouragement online, she usesher voice to uplift and inspire
(01:20):
others to step confidently intothe life that they were created
for.
Beyond her calling, she findsjoy in spending time with her
husband and children.
Please welcome to the show,roderika.
Hey, hi, roderika, thank you somuch for joining us here on Off
Balance.
I am so excited to have you.
(01:42):
Before we get started, can youintroduce yourself to our
listeners and share about whoyou are and what type of?
Rodrika Jones (01:49):
work you do Absolutely.
Hey everybody, I'm Roderika.
I love people.
I can name so many things thatI love to do.
I am a mother, I am a wife andI love my children.
I love my husband, and that isjust something that comes
natural to me.
Outside of that, I lovebuilding women through writing
and speaking.
Dr. Brooks (02:09):
What made you develop a passion for wanting to
empower other women?
Rodrika Jones (02:15):
It's so interesting.
I've always done it in a sense,but I had my first daughter at
16 years old and I raised her.
I was super involved in herlife, so much so I think she
inadvertently she was my God andbecause, coming up, I did not
have the support that I wouldhave liked to have from my
parents.
And so, having my daughter atsuch a young age, I never wanted
(02:37):
my age to be an excuse for meto mishandle her and then blame
it, whatever trauma or whateverI would cause her later on in
life.
I never wanted my age to be anexcuse for me mishandling her,
like I said, and then being oneof those people and just saying
I was young, just get over it.
I never wanted to do that and Iwas extremely involved in her
life.
And after I raised her toadulthood, she was 19 years old,
(03:01):
in college and one day shestated she said I just decided
not to go to school, like I justI don't want to do it and
because I was so involved, itwas very unhealthy and I had to
sit with myself and I was likewhat are we going to do next,
because my life has been soinvolved in her life, One of
(03:22):
those things where you livethrough your children type of
thing, because I did not haveagain the support and things of
that nature.
And when she said that to me,it really caused me to take a
step back.
It hurts very bad, but it alsocalled me to take a step back
and say you know what?
This is her truth.
Right, and she stated.
She said the life that you guysgave me and all of the
(03:44):
sacrifice, all the things thatwe've done.
She said I never wanted that.
And so again, looking at that,I had to say this is her truth.
Although it hurts, although itwas very frustrating, it was a
lot of things.
In those moments I heard theLord saying so what are you
going to do now?
And all along he was telling meto encourage women, but I would
always come up with an excuse.
(04:04):
How, all along, he was tellingme to encourage women, but I
would always come up with anexcuse how am I going to help
other women when your daughterneeds you?
And then, through heradolescence year, how am I going
to help other women when yourdaughter doesn't want to listen
to you?
And so when she turned 19 andshe said that to me, she said
I've never wanted that life thatyou guys had basically given me
.
We handed her everything.
I know this is a drawn outanswer, but I think it's very
important to paint the picturefor people.
(04:26):
When the Lord asked me what wasI going to do?
And before I even answered, theLord stopped me in my tracks.
He said don't think about whatyou don't have.
Don't think about what youdon't know.
Don't let those be a decisionfactor in what you're going to
say next.
And I sat there for probablyabout 40 seconds, just in
silence, and I said I want toencourage women through writing
(04:46):
and through speaking.
And he said how are you goingto do that?
You don't even at this pointlike you.
You're so broken.
And the Lord was just showingme pictures and ideas and
thoughts of me and I said you'reright.
I said I have to sit in thisand I heard him so clear.
And he said it's going to beyour choice of words that change
your life.
And I jumped on my phoneinstantly and I went to my notes
pad and I began to startwriting just journaling.
(05:07):
I've always had a love forjournaling.
As a little girl I didn't talkmuch, and so I've always
journaled, I've always written,and so I went to my notes
section and I began to write thenotes and the Lord gave me my
first book.
It's my Choice of Words Changedmy Life and I had no idea I was
going to write a book.
I was just trying to organizemy thoughts and it just worked.
(05:30):
And I jumped in from there andjust was like I have to be able
to help women to navigatecertain spaces in their life,
based off of the things thatI've been through, but also so
that people can understand thepower of the oneness with God.
Dr. Brooks (05:40):
What I heard you say was you were doing all of
these great things and you wereraising your daughter and you
had great intentions, but itwasn't until she told you that
it was a bit much.
How did that make you feel torecognize that you were broken?
Rodrika Jones (05:57):
In that moment when she said that to me and
this is so interesting but sodeep.
So in that moment and I thinkit's because of what I was
previously told prior to havingher it was always saying things
like you're stupid, like you'redumb, you'll never be anything.
And so those feelings came backup.
Right, because for 19 years Inever really had to deal with
those feelings because I knewthat I was a great mother to my
(06:19):
daughter, not because I had beentaught how to, but was very
strategic.
I would ask people stuff.
I was not afraid, I was notshameful like I, none of that
stuff.
And so I knew I was a goodmother to her because I did it
deliberately.
But again, it was just one ofthose things where you're not
maybe paying attention, and soit wasn't the life totally the
life that we had given her, butit was more of the things.
(06:41):
We did not make her do certainthings and we gave her any and
everything that she couldpossibly want and we thought
that it was like everything, butreally and truly she just
wanted time.
That's not what she wanted wastime.
And back to your question how Ifelt.
I felt rejected, I felt hurt, alittle bit of me felt man, am I
really not anything Like whatam I doing now?
(07:04):
And then I said to say no, this, like sometimes, we have to
take when people say hard thingsto us, you have to take it at
face value.
Don't unpack it, don't undo it,don't make it more than what it
is, but take it at face value.
And that's what I had to dowhen she said that to me because
, again, this was her truth.
As much as it hurt, as much asall of the things that I could
(07:24):
have possibly felt in thatmoment, it was her truth.
And so I had to sit with it forjust a second and determine
what was my next move.
Will I spend another 19 yearsupset with her?
Would I spend another 10 daysnot forgiving her?
So I had to walk this thinglike okay, I really have to like
one, just figure out what mynext move is.
(07:44):
But then, when I understand mynext move, now I have to write
it out.
Dr. Brooks (07:48):
I'm a writer, so I just always got to be like okay,
no matter what it is, I got towrite because I got to calculate
my thoughts.
What was it like after you wentthrough the writing?
And then you're like okay, nowI have this assignment, so how
am I going to?
Rodrika Jones (08:02):
execute.
The Lord has spoke to mepreviously about Pearl Woman.
I was in the store purchasingsome things for one of my
children, some medicine orsomething and he said Pearl
Woman.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
I wasn't even a person thatwore pearls at all, and so I
just started purchasing pearls,started looking up the like
meanings of pearls and things ofthat nature and really had no
(08:23):
idea what I was going to do.
And I was asleep.
One day I was asleep and theLord woke me up and he said go
forth.
And I'm like what do you mean?
Because, again, I'm not a techsavvy person, have never really
been a fan favorite, veryreserved, homebody, didn't
really talk to people.
I was misunderstood, it wasjust a lot.
(08:43):
And one day, when the Lord saidgo forth, I said okay, I'm
going to do it.
It was like my birthday and Idid a vlog two minutes or less.
The Lord said do it throughentericement, but I need you to
give them my word and I need youto give them an action step
Every single day.
The Lord woke me up likeclockwork.
He was like just go for it.
And so when I first started andthis is how Pearl Woman was
(09:04):
birthed.
I did a vlog and I created hesaid, create a private group,
because there's going to be someconversations that are going to
take place that need to beprivate.
People have not talked aboutthese things.
And so I got up and I didn'tknow what I was going to say and
it was like go, the camera wason on my phone and I just said,
hey, this is Rodriguez, yoursister in strength, and I was
(09:25):
like, where did that even comefrom?
I don't know.
I think that I'm like, and itwas just like the Lord was
speaking to me and I recorded it.
I didn't edit it because Ididn't know anything about that,
I just posted it and I went tosleep because I was so afraid of
, like, the rejection and thingsof that nature, and it just
took off.
It literally took off in 30days.
Just took off.
(09:45):
It literally took off in 30days.
It was about and I wasn't even,I wasn't even paying attention.
I was just so focused on whatthe Lord was saying through
these vlogs every day.
I had seven days of just things, whatever the Lord would say
that morning.
But it started off with make ithappen Monday.
Tackle it Tuesday.
Work it out Wednesday thinkabout it.
Thursday.
Fearless Friday, celebrateyourself.
Saturday.
And satisfied Sunday.
And so again, I did this everysingle day, given just these
(10:07):
little two minute or lessencouragement, the word of God
and again an action step.
And that's the way Pearl Womanwas birthed.
And it was.
Women all over the worldfollowed me and something
happened and it caused me toopen up my eyes and look and I
got afraid and I jumped back andI was like, oh, what am I doing
?
And I got in my head I did so,yeah, that's the way it was like
(10:28):
from that day, from that day, Istarted writing and then, when
my book was released for mybirthday is when I did I said
you know what?
Cause?
I turned 37.
I said I no longer want toexist, I'm going to start living
.
And in my living I was like I'mgoing to do this as a birthday
(10:50):
gift to myself.
And I never really celebratedmy birthday prior to that, ever,
and I'm a twin and yeah, and Inever did.
And so ever since then, for mybirthday, every single year, I
launched something in the earth,I released something in the
earth.
I don't know what the Lord,whatever he says, do.
I do that as a way of thankinghim for allowing me to breathe
on that day.
Dr. Brooks (11:03):
That's a blessing, and God is so intimate with us.
So can you explain how was Godusing the motivational tools
that you were releasing to otherwomen to minister to you?
Rodrika Jones (11:15):
Yeah, that's so funny.
You said that I was gettinglike inboxes and I didn't.
First of all, I didn't evenknow what that was Like.
It's like Facebook came withthis thing and again, mind you,
I'm not tech savvy at all and Iwas getting like all of these
messages.
It was creeping me out becauseI'm like who are these people?
Like, I didn't know thesepeople and they were like oh my
God, your video.
(11:35):
It just blessed me and I'vealways been a person, brooks, to
where if you're going throughsomething and if I'm within arm
reach, meaning like if I'm inthe city, I'm going to come to
you, I'm going to pray with you,I'm going to encourage you, I'm
going to hug you.
I just have always been likethat, not on the big scale, but
just in my personality.
I will be up all night.
I'm talking about women allover the world sending me
(11:56):
inboxes, calling me throughMessenger hey, can you talk?
Because it's like a seven hourdifference from people in
different countries anddifferent states.
It was like one blessing afterthe next.
And I was a financial analystat the credit union, so I'm like
trying to do loans at work andI can't do loans because I'm
like these people need me.
And it's so funny because andmy husband will tell you I have
(12:18):
been a person that had beenfired like 60 something times.
Working has never been, it hasnever been my thing.
I'm like you know what Y'allwant me to come in.
Five days a week, nine to five.
I'm missing too much,particularly in my children's
life.
I'm like, no, because I got toleave, I got to pick them up, I
got to and I just neverunderstood that and it's so
(12:39):
interesting.
But during this season I hadactually quit my job after being
fired, feeling like you'reoverlooked and all of these
things.
And I told my husband, I wenthome and I said, king, I said I
think that it's time for me toput my two weeks in, because
these women were needing me likeevery day and we were
conquering some really deepthoughts and things that they
(13:01):
were going to and we was likesearching the word of God,
because that's the way I wasable to do it.
I get that.
I've got my experience.
I get that.
You have your experience, butlet's check and see what the
word says concerning this.
And I was teaching them wordapplication.
People be in my office doing aloan.
I'm like hold on, give me onemoment, hey.
And they was like man, we'retrying to figure out, what are
(13:21):
you doing, like we are paying.
And I was like oh snap, lord,I'm still in time.
I'm like I got to go.
And so I told my husband.
I said King, I said I think Ineed to put my two weeks in.
And I guess the Lord wasspeaking to him because I again
at this time I think I wasworking there maybe about two or
three years or something thatwas like long overdue Cause I
didn't really do jobs and stufflike that.
(13:42):
And he was like okay, he waslike just put your two weeks in
tomorrow.
And so the next day I went inand I was like I got to go.
There's people that are waitingon me.
And they was like because theyhad been watching my videos too,
and they were like we waswondering when you was going to
like when you were going to go.
And so it was just moments likethat I'm telling you just not
only the people calling it, buteven just the testimonials of
(14:03):
marriages mended back together,women rekindling their lives
with their daughters, justundoing some things in their
life, and it was just like onething after another and the Lord
was just like yeah, this iswhere I got you right now.
Once I was like go, I was justgoing and I didn't even look up
to see really the impact that Iwas making in that sense.
But then, like I said, in that30 days it was like literally a
(14:26):
thousand women.
I'm like what's happening?
What do I do now and now, selfstepped in the way, and now I
feel like I have to do somethingwithin my own strength to keep
this momentum going.
And they did this and they didthat and really and truly, it
was just, they just wanted toeat the words of my lips every
single morning.
It was like it woke you up toencourage you and get you
basically started on your day.
Dr. Brooks (14:48):
You often talk about balance and being
intentional, especially as awife, a mom and ministry leader.
What are some practical waysthat you are able to maintain
balance in your life?
Rodrika Jones (15:00):
One thing that I do is I work with balance and
harmony together and justunderstanding that a lot of
times we have to understand thatsome things are in seasons and
so, when it comes toparticularly my job because
that's something again that I'mstill not used to having and I
do have a lot of flexibility,but I think that's why I'm still
there.
Although I love it, it's stillone of those things where you
(15:27):
have to, like, sometimescalculate your day and in those
moments when, like ministry isjust like it's, it calls for a
lot of work, I have tocommunicate that one to my
husband.
I have to overly communicate itto, particularly to my 13 year
old, because she's mama.
Anybody else in the church cando it, we don't.
And then my husband be likethey can't hire no help, and my
job particularly is theassistant right.
So for me it's just overlycommunicating.
(15:49):
However, when I'm not at work,it's literally totally
unplugging and being present,being there, like when my
daughter she's a car rider whenshe gets in the car and even
before she gets out of the car,there is no phone for me.
I'm not on the phone, I'm nottaking phone calls, things of
that nature, if it's somethingthat I must take.
I literally say hold on, giveme a moment.
And I greet my daughter hey,how was your day?
(16:10):
What happened at school today?
And we'll have.
And they need to say on our hey, look at 2.35,.
When my daughter gets in thiscar, either one I'm going to
have to let you go or I'm goingto have to put you on mute.
And as much as I can, I try tobe totally present when I need
to be present, and because youknow how your kids are, they
want your time, but then theydon't want to give the time, and
so I try to toggle between thetwo.
(16:31):
But for me it's just reallywhen I need to be present, being
present, and I feel like thathas worked best for us.
My husband and I also mark upthe value of vacationing, even
if it's a staycation.
Hey, you know what?
I'm not coming in?
It's particularly if I've hadto do something where it's
really caused a lot of time away.
And then every day, also, inaddition to that, every single
day, about 8.30, me and myhusband, it's our time you know
(16:56):
he don't have his phone, I don'thave my phone and we just
connect to try to help usbalance and harmony together.
Dr. Brooks (17:03):
I like that you talked about making sure that
you disconnect and you spendthat time in the present with
your family, because that's soimportant.
I think sometimes, when Godgives us assignments and he also
back burner because we're soeager to pursue our assignments,
(17:27):
what would you say to listenersthat are listening and they may
feel like they don't have thecapacity to do both?
What strategies can you givethem to carve out that time for
their family?
Rodrika Jones (17:37):
Going back to my daughter, who's 25, like today,
instead of going into theoffice to work.
I was at her house at 745 thismorning and I spent the entire
day with her, without Rayma,without my husband again, so
that we can have time togetheras well.
And so, when it comes tocertain things, they have to be
(18:00):
non-negotiable.
You have to havenon-negotiables in your life,
because if anything isnegotiable, it'll always be
negotiated right To that personwho feels like man, I don't have
this man.
I don't have that Because, I'mgoing to be honest, being a
person that was a homebody,didn't really do anything
outside of my family, even tothe point of being fired from my
(18:21):
job, quitting my job.
All of that really had referenceto the person that I was in my
family.
If things got too hectic,things didn't get done.
Things needed to be done.
I was always the one to makethe sacrifices to do that,
whether it be fire, whether itbe quit or whatever the case is.
And so it was easy and it is iseasy for me to do things that
(18:43):
are concerning the house.
It was difficult for me to dothings that are outside of my
house and the things that theLord is calling me to do.
However, the Lord was tellingme.
He said, rodriguez, you cannotnegotiate your future.
The things that I'm calling youto do, you can't negotiate them
.
But he said if you lack wisdom,then you ask me.
And so in those moments I'mlike God, show me how to
(19:07):
navigate this and show me what Ican and what I cannot do.
And so, even going back to thecommunication piece, when I'm
trying to be in a season ofwriting my book, all while
working, having a daughter whois a car rider, who takes her
lunch, having a husband who isbasically my husband is set, he
already has his degrees, he'salready in his job, he doesn't
really do anything outside ofour home, really outside of
worship, which is one night aweek, so he's in the house, like
(19:28):
where you at, what we doing,and so, again, overly
communicating those times whereI have to be able to show him
that there are certain thingsthat I got to do, Like I have to
do these because these have todo with what I believe is my
worth and it's outside of youguys, and I can't negotiate it.
Sometimes we might, because it'sjust easier to do what you've
(19:51):
always done, but in thosemoments you have to do this
thing I call a self-talk right,and in the self-talk you have to
talk yourself in a positive wayto do the things that you say
that you want to do, and that'sin the home, outside the home,
around the home or whatever thecase is.
And then they just have tounderstand.
We even did this thing becauseI am in ministry.
We do this thing where if myhusband calls me and say, hey,
(20:13):
where are you at, instead of mesaying at church, I'll say I'm
at work, or I'll say I'm at thebuilding, right, and church is
on Sunday because this is my joband so we have to just do some
of those things to help.
And then you have to remindpeople and you the way you treat
yourself, is the way you'reteaching other people to be able
to treat you.
Dr. Brooks (20:33):
That is so true.
Rodrika Jones (20:34):
Two things non-negotiable, right.
And then you teach people howto treat you by the way you
treat yourself.
Not just I'm just this person,because even like my husband and
my children be like explainyour wife.
Oh my God, she's such a goodmom, she's such a good wife and
you think, is that it?
(20:54):
But in the grand scheme, that'sall you've shown them.
Yeah, you haven't shown themanything else.
When I wrote my first book myOldest Daughter the book is $15.
She had $20.
And, mind you, you know youalways giving your kids money
she said I would purchase thebook, but I don't have any
change.
Imagine how that made me feel.
(21:15):
But then, on the flip side ofit, because I kept going and I
didn't let that stop me, Irealized really and truly, like
she's a kid, like I don't wantto give you my whole 20.
So, rodrigo, don't take it thatserious.
And sometimes it's something onthe inside of us that God is
trying to work out.
And so when I thought aboutthat and I kept pressing, even
(21:35):
now she's oh my God, I'm takingthis class with Dr T and she's
like looking at my homework andshe's oh my God, mama, you're
doing such a good job.
But just imagine if Inegotiated my future, the future
that God has called me to live.
I would have still just beenmama and I would have still just
been the wife.
Right, and it's not abouttitles, but it's about for me.
(21:55):
I want to die empty, I don'twant to like just man, all of
this potential in the grave andall of this and all of that
because we continue to negotiate.
So don't negotiate.
That person just listened.
Don't negotiate.
In whatever way you feel likeyou don't, then you're not.
But if you believe that you can, you will.
(22:15):
It may not be in the grandscheme or it may not be on the
way somebody else does it, butit'll be in the way that you're
supposed to do it, and whatevertime that looks like, if it's
once a day, twice a week,whatever the case is, Earlier,
you talked about rejection whenit came to writing your book,
how were you able to overcomethe fear of rejection and
(22:38):
release that book For me?
when I step outside of myself, Iget real excited.
I don't know if y'all can tellI'm excited like now, Like I'm
normally, like I talk to, I saywhatever the case is, but I
think it was knowing that theLord had allowed me to make it
through the things that I'vemade it through.
Right, my husband is not myfirst door biological father and
(23:03):
so even when it came to thethings such as having a husband
after being just doing basicallya single parent, not having to
follow, he walked past me likehe don't know me and just all of
these things and all of thesethings that could have came with
that, I had to tell myself, nomatter what had been ingrained
in me.
I said, Lord, I made it.
You let me make it througheverything that I've been
(23:25):
through.
I'm in my right frame of mind.
I don't.
I'm not struggling, I don'thave any mental illness.
I have every activity of mylimb.
Like for the majority, I thinkthat I'm good.
There's some good there.
I might be broken, but there'ssome good there and all of these
things that I said, Lord,there's no way that there's no
man on this earth that loves meand that can love my daughter.
(23:53):
I had no idea it was a man ofGod, but me just saying that
broke the curse off of my life,that I had been living for so
long, and so I took that samemindset when it came to me doing
what the Lord had called me todo, whether it be to have a
one-on-one conversation, whetherit meant for me to have a
conversation with somebodysomewhere else or whatever the
case is, or even to write mybook.
Like when I was in it, I'm likesomebody's going to be
delivered Listen here, becauseI'm delivered right, Because I'm
(24:13):
healed.
Somebody is going to just takea chance on themselves because I
did, and I did only because ofGod.
And so when I get in thatmoment and I realize especially
I don't even got to look backover my life Like when I just
just think about me sitting here, talking to you and breathing,
like it's just, I have torelease this, because there's
somebody that's going to beconnected and if it can just
(24:35):
change just a glimpse of theirmind, I need to be able to do it
.
I want to do it Like I'mexcited to do it.
Like my first book.
You can't stop reading it.
People were reading it.
In two, three days.
They was like this is good.
Even when I get discouraged, Ipick it up and I'm like Lord, I
wrote this is good.
I'm talking about from thebeginning, all the way through
(24:55):
and it's I think it's 62 pages,so it's not long at all, but it
is really good.
Dr. Brooks (25:11):
And again, I think to answer your question is just
my excitement and my drive tosee other people not live the
life that I live, but live alife that may be impossible to
so many people.
Rodrika Jones (25:20):
I am so glad that you released your book and
since we're talking about it,can you tell people what your
book is about and who is yourtarget audience for your book?
Yeah, so I have two differentbooks.
One is my Choice of WordsChanged my Life, and in that
book I just went over somescenarios in life that I have
been through and how I have usedthe word of God to help me make
the right decision.
Where I come from, people gooff of their feelings a lot, and
(25:44):
so we say things that we don'treally mean.
We act in ways that we reallyhave not thought out.
We just like full of emotionsand in my life I'm like I can't
rely on.
I can't rely on these emotions.
I got to learn the word of God,or I have to learn some words
of something that's moredependable than what I've been
(26:05):
going through, and so I use thatword.
I use that particular bookagain to help people who just
want to change their life, andthey want to change their life
by speaking from Proverbs 18 and21, where it talks about the
power of death, and life is inthe tongue and those who love it
will eat it through, and so,really, that whole book is just
to teach your mouth how to speak.
(26:25):
Yeah, and so in my second bookis how to Conquer a Defeated
Mindset.
That book is particularly tohelp people really consider the
word doubt and look at how youoperate and how you move and
doubt and how doubt can justsnatch you just that quick and
change the whole trajectory ofyour life right.
It's like even when the Lordasked me, he said, rodrigo, what
(26:46):
you gonna do now?
And I begin to speak and hesaid, no, wait, don't think
about who you, what you ain'tgot, because I always did that.
I'd be like man, I could dothis, I could do that, I could
do this, I can do that, but Idon't have this, but I don't
have this, but I don't have that.
And the Lord remembered thatbecause we got history with him
right and he knew what I spokeout of my mouth was detrimental
(27:07):
to my next, and so even himsaying that.
And so for me it's like how canwe navigate this defeated
mindset?
And then the hyperlink is whenall I can see is who I'm not.
So it's not that we're notconquering, it's not that we're
not succeeding, it's not thatwe're not making it.
My vision is only on thosethings that I'm not, which is
(27:28):
really stopping me, andsometimes it's just those little
bitty small things.
It's like that doesn't evenmake sense.
And the Lord told me.
He said Rodrigo.
He said, look, you're not foreverybody, right, because we
want to be liked, we want to beinvited, we wanted this, we
wanted that, he said, but you'renot for everybody.
He said but your purpose formany and I need you to stay
focused on the many.
And I was like, okay, becauseit would stop me in my tracks.
(27:51):
They didn't support him, theydidn't say nothing, they didn't
like it, they didn't this, theydidn't that.
He said, no, you got to stayfocused and your future cannot
be negotiable.
And again, that particularaudience and now I'm, in this
different season, going to bereleasing.
It's actually a journal, it's a365 day journal releasing
November 4th, which is my 42ndand a half birthday, and I'm
(28:13):
releasing that particular one tohelp people write the vision
for their life, as it talksabout in Rebecca, and so I'm
really just diving into reallythat whole book and helping
people to write out what thevision is that they believe, as
God speaks to them throughoutthe 365 days concerning their
life, so that they havesomething to go back on.
(28:33):
I think that a lot of times Godgives us things and what
happens is we get excited in themoment but then we forget, for
whatever reason.
We forget what the Lord issaying to us.
But this will give you ablueprint.
So say, for instance, if you'reselling clothes, you're selling
books, and somebody say you knowwhat To get you there, you can
just start selling hot dogs atthe hot dog stand and it'll get
(28:56):
you some money real quick.
And if you don't have a plan,you're thinking about this money
real quick.
You're not thinking about thetime, the energy that you're
going to take to build upsomething that God never called
you to.
But if you have this vision,you can go back and you say why
would I do that?
That don't make sense, butsomething that you've written
out, that you will have in yourheart.
And you're right not sayingthat you're removing the Holy
(29:17):
Spirit, because I know he'llcome and direct.
But again, so many people don'teven have visions or plans for
their life, so they just followfor anything, you with the next
best, you with the trends, youwith the fads, rather than what
is God calling me to do as anindividual?
What is God calling me to do,and how am I cultivating that?
Dr. Brooks (29:36):
What made you come up with doing it for 365 days,
versus a 30 day or 45 days?
Rodrika Jones (29:42):
Yeah, because so throughout my life the Lord has
been showing me and I got verydiscouraged.
Probably about about three daysago the Lord gave me this
journal and I'm just a writer,when he gives me I can write it
in like a day, because I'm justgo, go, go.
But for me it was like the Lordwas showing me Rodrigo, you do
(30:02):
this and then you have noadditional plans.
You do this and then you haveno additional plans.
You do this and then you haveno additional plans.
You do this and you have noadditional plans.
And I'm like, yeah, you'reright because you are.
And so for me it was like, howabout if we, instead of just
doing these quick fixes like theworld wants us to do 30 days,
(30:23):
you all in, you done lost weight, you done worked out, you done,
did this and you did that.
Now you've, you're on thisjourney.
Right, because they say 21 dayscreates a new habit.
But what if we really dive inand dive deep, like real deep
for our lives, and just seeourself in every season of the
year, not just in the summerwhen things are good, not just
(30:43):
in the fall, when things arelaid back and warm and cozy, but
like in your just seeing yourlife in its entirety for one
whole year, to write out thevision that you see and that
you're walking with God,constantly inviting the Holy
Spirit in to walk this thing outwith you, and you will be able
to see where the enemy has comein to deceive you, to trick you
and to steal from you, to robyou just what the word says.
(31:04):
But then you'll also be able tosee what God said but I've come
, that you might have life andhave it more abundantly.
You'll be able to do thatbecause you walk in the vision
and you don't have to wait andbe like you know what.
Let me run to my prayer closet.
No, the word says have thatword hidden in my heart and I
think as we write it, as we divein it, as we really sit with
ourselves, it'll help you toreally just, without a doubt, be
(31:28):
who God has called you to be.
Not necessarily in its fullness, but you'll be sure about what
God's calling you to.
Because even with me, like I'mso creative, I got so many arms
in the fire and I believe thatthey all will work together.
But I'm like God, what am Iworking towards?
And I haven't written thevision and he's told me to do it
so many times and literally,just like I gave that hot dog
(31:48):
analogy, there has been so manypeople that have come to me and
I'm like, girl, oh my God, youshould do this, you should do
that.
Even the point, brooks, when Ireleased my clothing line, there
was somebody who came to me andshe said, hey, you didn't tell
me that you released yourclothes.
I was like, oh, I forgot, likeI, just I, you didn't tell me
that you released your clothes.
I was like, oh, I forgot, likeI just I've been going because I
work and all of the things.
(32:09):
And she was like, oh my God, Iheard it did so well and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, this andany other.
And I was like thank you, Iknew it was going to do well
because the Lord told me to doit.
So I wasn't worried necessarilyabout that.
And she was like no, the Lorddidn't tell me that.
I was like no, I have notconsidered.
And she's like, oh, okay, so wekept talking.
(32:30):
And then she was like I want tobe.
And I was like and so again,now the flesh then clicked in.
I'm like we go back.
I said so who is the investor?
What is?
She was like oh, I am.
She's like we can go anywhere,we go store you want.
We did about all of that.
I'm like, okay, so I thinkabout.
(32:50):
So let's schedule a meeting,let's talk about it and see.
And we had, the meeting wasgood.
And I got home and the Lord saiddon't you forget what I showed
you in the dream.
And I said, oh, I called, Isaid thanks, but no thanks.
Another investor.
He came and he was real niceand he this and the Lord, he
whispered in my ear.
He said the blessings of theLord make it rich.
And added no sorrow If you take, this is going to bring sorrow
(33:11):
upon you and your family, notright now, but later.
And I said, sir, listen, thiscall, thank you, I appreciate
you so much.
And in those moments we got tobe so careful about the things
that we do and we got to be likein tune with God and have a
vision for our life so that wenot all kilter.
And everybody around me,particularly with the guy,
(33:33):
everybody around me was like youdidn't negotiate, you didn't
consider, you didn't this, youdidn't that, you didn't.
And I said no.
The Lord said.
This is what he's telling me.
The blessings of the Lord makeit rich, adds no sorrow.
This is going to add sorrow.
It might be good now we'retalking $100,000, not like it's
that much, but we're talking$150,000.
(33:55):
It may be good now, but this isgoing to add sorrow to your
life and to your family's life.
This business has set up alegacy and you're going to do
this just to have something.
Oh, set up a legacy and you'regoing to do this just to have
something.
Oh, absolutely not.
Not when you're walking withGod and God's hand is on
something that God has calledyou to do.
And so, again, having thatmindset and like we can't be,
(34:16):
like tossed to and fro, we can'tbe outkilled, so we can't be
wanting to go with the trendsand the fads and this, and that
you got to be sure about whatGod is calling you to do, and in
order to do that, you got to beable to write out the vision.
Dr. Brooks (34:29):
You are dropping gems.
My coaching clients.
I asked them a question.
I said I understand you'retelling me it's good, but is it
God?
Because something could be good, like the investors coming to
you that was good, but was itGod?
And then, they have this look intheir eye like what are you
talking about?
I said, just because somethingis good means it's not going to
bring you physical harm, meansthat it's going to advance your
(34:51):
family, it's going to have allof these positive benefits.
But it's that, god?
So how do you define andcultivate resilience in your
life and what advice can yougive our listeners on developing
their resilience in the face ofadversity?
Rodrika Jones (35:03):
I think it goes back to that non-negotiation,
not negotiating the things that,again, you believe that you
were set out to do.
And when it comes to resilienceand just being able to navigate
through adversity, like I thinksometimes we get, we're so,
particularly for me and where Icome from, we're determined to
(35:24):
get past it.
We don't want to deal with it,we want to just go and just
become somebody else tomorrow.
But sometimes when you do that,things begin to lay dormant.
And when they lay dormant thenthey'll come up at the wrong
time.
And so I think it's good for usto deal with, especially with
those particular things that weknow in adversity and trying to
(35:45):
overcome.
It is to deal with those thingsand then, as you deal with them
, then move healthy, then moveto the next thing.
Right, because I think eventhat is resilient, to overcome
that type of stuff.
And so for me it's just beingdetermined, doing self-talk,
like talking myself through somethings, not being reactive to
(36:05):
things but being proactive,meaning again I'm going back and
I'm uprooting.
I'm asking particularly mychildren are so important to me,
my children have I saidsomething to you that maybe
shook you?
Have I done something to youthat maybe you didn't understand
?
Have me and your daddy parentedyou in a season of your life,
meaning just a time period ofyour life, where maybe you
(36:25):
didn't understand it?
Can we go back and give alittle bit more explanation to
that?
Again, sometimes we don't goback and undo things and I think
when we don't do that ithinders us in that resilient
space.
It dulls a little bit to mebecause again, you're not going
back and navigating reallythrough adversity.
You just say you came throughit, but really and truly you
(36:47):
didn't really come through it.
You just started doingsomething new.
And so for me I say go back andlook like, really look at your
life and see what things thatyou can undo.
It may be a lot of things andit may not be as many things.
Dr. Brooks (36:58):
You was talking about your mindset and how that
you self-talk reaffirmed things.
You talked about how you bringin the word of God, how that's
so important, how it's importantto write your vision, how it's
important also to surroundyourself with people that are
going to encourage and motivateyou, because that is what Pearl
Women Ministry is it's a groupof people that is just
(37:18):
motivating and encouraging oneanother.
And so, again, thank you somuch for joining.
And you said that your journalwill be out on November the 4th.
Will that be on all of theplatforms?
Rodrika Jones (37:30):
Yes, so it'll be Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
How to Conquer a DefeatedMindset is on Cabo and it's at.
Dr. Brooks (37:36):
Walmart too.
Okay, so I will have all of herinformation in this episode
description, so make sure thatyou go out and support her.
Roderika, thank you so much forjoining us.
You have been such a blessing.
Intro/Outro (37:54):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your hostor to book a coaching session,
visit wwwbrooksdemmingcom.
Until next time, rise.
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