October 30, 2025 • 49 mins
A single accident stole her shield but revealed her purpose. Former firefighter and peer support advocate Natalie Nugent sits down with us to unpack the hidden cost of serving on the front lines, and the surprising, practical steps that helped her rebuild after PTSD, depression, and identity loss. From a heartbreaking moment with her daughter to a life-saving knock at the door, Natalie traces the path from isolation to treatment to a thriving support network designed for first responders, trauma survivors, and caregivers.
We go deep on what PTSD actually looks like off duty, sleeplessness, hypervigilance, anger spikes, and the instinct to withdraw, and why saying “I’m not okay” can be the bravest, most productive move. Natalie shares the exact tools that steadied her nervous system: a simple WRAP plan to guide daily choices, yoga for mind–body balance, cold exposure to interrupt spirals, and five-minute meditations to build tolerance for stillness. We break down the “window of tolerance” so you can map your personal baseline, notice when you’re tipping into fight/flight or shutdown, and use small interventions to come back online faster.
Out of treatment, Natalie founded Rekindled Retreats, a peer community that flips “retreat” into “retrieve”—a space to retrieve the parts of you that feel lost. She details what happens inside their workshops, why follow-up support matters for eight full weeks, and how a quiet text thread becomes a lifeline on hard days. We also explore Internal Family Systems, rethinking success after trauma, and how compassion, for yourself and others, reduces the urge to fix and makes connection possible again.
If you’ve ever felt overactivated, exhausted, or alone in your struggle, this conversation offers a clear, human roadmap back to stability and community. Listen now, share it with someone who serves, and if it resonates, leave a rating and a quick review so more people can find their way to these tools.
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Over 8 weeks, I’ll guide you through a proven framework to help you:
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family, and businesscollide.
Hosted by Brooks Deming, Doctorof Business Administration,
Business Coach, and ResilienceExpert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
SPEAKER_03 (00:32):
Welcome back to Off Balance.
I'm your host, Dr.
Brooks.
If the struggles of life haveleft you cracked or broken,
today's episode will speak rightto your heart.
Today's guest is Natalie Nugent.
She's a trauma survivor, asingle mom, and the founder of
Recendle Retreats, a powerfulinitiative that creates safe,
restorative spaces for firstresponders, trauma survivors,
(00:52):
and caregivers.
Natalie, welcome to Off Ballet.
Thank you, Dr.
Brooks.
I'm excited to be here today.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Before we dive into ourconversation, can you introduce
yourself to the listeners andlet them know what it is that
you do?
SPEAKER_02 (01:08):
Yeah, my name is Natalie Nugent.
I am a former firefighter of 14years.
I just recently medicallyretired.
I had a significant accident onduty in September of 2023.
I've had three operations since,and I have one more scheduled in
three months.
So it's been a significanttrauma and event in my life.
(01:31):
And therefore I reevaluated anddecided to work with people who
also got injured.
And when you come off the line,you lose that brotherhood that
you had and that part of a teamor something, a bigger purpose
outside yourself.
And it's really lonely andisolating.
And I discovered that after myinjury, I fell down this
(01:52):
slippery slope with PTSD, whereit really took over and
struggled, it helped me struggleevery single day.
And through pulling through thatin the last two years and
recovering physically, it'sdrawn me to realize there's an
underserved population of peoplebeing injured and being forced
to medically retire or justbeing away from work and needing
(02:13):
support.
So I started rekindled retreatsas a way to offer that support
and offer peer coaching sopeople don't have to go through
that process alone.
SPEAKER_03 (02:22):
So you mentioned that you got hurt in the line of
duty.
So when you got hurt, how didthat moment redefine what your
future was going to look likefor you?
SPEAKER_02 (02:33):
That moment was pivotal in that I it gave me the
awareness that my whole identitywas wrapped up in firefighting.
So often, that's the first thingwe identify ourselves with.
My name is Natalie.
I'm a firefighter.
It's your whole identity.
And in that moment, in thatinjury, I lost my purpose
without the calling to come towork every day and serve my
(02:56):
community with a physical injurywhere I couldn't perform.
I was just so lost.
It felt like I had no identityleft.
I didn't know what I was evenhere to do anymore.
And that isolation was reallydifficult.
But that was such a pivotalbreakthrough moment because
through that breakdown,eventually through PTSD and
(03:18):
depression, I had abreakthrough.
It gave me the strength I neededto reevaluate and see where
there's another need.
And that is now my purposebecause I'm completely
physically fit and able toperform in a different way.
It doesn't have to just be onerole or nothing.
So it's the beauty of justtransitioning to something
different.
(03:38):
It doesn't have to look like youthought it would, but you can
make it look like whatever youwant to.
SPEAKER_03 (03:44):
You mentioned that you have PTSD.
What signs or symptoms did youdisplay to make you realize that
something was wrong?
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
One of the biggest things is isolation.
PTSD makes you, it strips youridentity and you start to see
the world as unsafe.
And that includes people in it,places, even as simple as the
grocery store, became reallyscary to my whole system.
And I felt responsible foreverybody in the store as if I
(04:15):
was on duty.
And then the the thought that Icouldn't show up if they needed
me was too much.
So I isolated.
And that is something that is socommon in PTSD because we are
afraid of how we're showing up.
We don't want to trouble otherpeople.
We don't want to burden, we'rethe ones that people call.
So we don't have anyone to call.
(04:36):
We don't want to burden otherpeople.
And so the isolation is one ofthe hardest symptoms.
But it starts with simply notsleeping through the night,
disturbed dreams or racingthoughts before bed.
It's the anxiety you feel whenyou hear a loud balloon pop or a
noise.
Anything that disrupts yourability to cope in the cert the
(04:59):
circumstance in which you're inis a symptom of PTSD or even
post-traumatic stress injury,which is an injury from
witnessing or experiencing atraumatic event.
So it can be a shock trauma likethat, where you witness
something, or it can be complexover time where you're witnessed
(05:19):
trauma or experiencing it over aprolonged period.
But symptoms of PTSD tend to bethe same, and the worst is the
isolation.
SPEAKER_01 (05:29):
Valkyrie Heart Rekindled, a raw, unfiltered
podcast for women on the frontlines, fire, EMS, healthcare,
and the military, about the workwe carry and the work it takes
to heal.
Hosts Natalie Nugent, retiredfirefighter, founder of
Rekindled Retreats, andChristina Dizon, active
firefighter, women's wellnessadvocate, explore PTSD, shift
(05:53):
work, hormone health, burnout,identity loss, and family
strain.
Each episode blends livedexperience with expert insight.
Join the conversation onSpotify, Apple Podcasts, and
YouTube.
SPEAKER_03 (06:09):
So when you isolated yourself, how did that affect
your family?
SPEAKER_02 (06:13):
It really affected my family.
As a single mom, it's just mydaughter and myself, and she is
nine.
I went from a high-functioningfirefighter.
I homeschooled my daughter forthree years, and we traveled
across the entire United States.
We camped four months out of theyear, out of our van, and we
were very active, and I was veryengaged in life.
(06:36):
And after my injury, I justreceded and I wasn't able to
show up for her in that way.
And my anger outburst because Iwould get so frustrated in the
inner shame that we feel abouthow we're acting, because we
know we're not acting the same,but we don't know why.
So that shame that I justcircled over, and then I would
(06:58):
get irritated at myself.
So any anything my daughter didwould just set me off.
And then we just got further andfurther apart because of it.
SPEAKER_03 (07:09):
So looking back at your journey and prior to your
injury, what is a misconceptionthat you had if you had one
about PTSD?
SPEAKER_02 (07:18):
I thought PTSD would never happen to me.
And I think, especially as afirst responder, we all have
that mentality.
We're the strong ones.
Everybody comes to us foranswers.
And so I think the awarenessthat it can happen to anybody is
huge because everybody'ssusceptible to trauma and it
(07:40):
affects us all.
And it just is based onsomebody's world life
experience.
If they have a lot of childhoodtrauma they haven't dealt with,
then any career they're in isgoing to compound that trauma.
The awareness of what you bringto the career or to the table
from your childhood is somethingthat was a misconception.
(08:00):
I had a rougher adversechildhood.
My mom was a drug addict in andout of jail.
And there's partial times in mylife where homeless.
So very traumatic events that Imade them through it.
So as an adult, I thought I wasfine.
I made it through.
I do the one-hour therapy everyweek.
I'm doing all the motions.
(08:21):
And so I never thought it wouldhappen to me.
I was preventing that.
But the thing is, it does happenwhen we don't talk about the
things, when we don't talk aboutthe struggles we're facing every
day, when we don't talk aboutthe extra struggles of even just
my childhood.
It was very really hard.
And had I been able to just cometo the table and actually
(08:42):
connect with my other coworkersand share my life experience,
they could have gotten a betteridea of who I was and we could
have just connected even morethan we did.
So it was looking back now bytrying to protect everybody
around me by not sharing mystory.
I inevitably pushed myselffurther and further away from
(09:05):
connection.
And that is definitely somethingI never thought would happen to
me.
SPEAKER_03 (09:12):
Yeah, so you were going through this, you were
isolating yourself, you noticedthat you were having anger
outbursts.
What moment changed your mindsetto where you decided I have to
get help?
SPEAKER_02 (09:24):
It was very significant.
I remember it.
My dog, we had to put down mydog in December 5th of 2023,
just a couple months after myaccident.
And that was really a big eventin my daughter and my life.
And that night we're trying tojust go through the motions and
be happy.
And I'm trying to just pushright through the pain of my dog
(09:48):
and not even stopping to justgrieve.
And so we're setting up theChristmas tree, and I'm trying
to make this really light andfun, but I'm really just
struggling on the inside andjust really faking it.
I had no business trying to doanything.
And the tree wouldn't snaptogether.
It was an artificial one.
And it was limb by limb, thelittle hook ones.
(10:09):
And finally, halfway through thetree, I just remember not being
able to lift my arm because Ihad right side paralysis.
So I couldn't hang any morebranches up.
And I got so overwhelmed andfrustrated, I picked the tree up
and I threw it across my livingroom.
And that had never happenedbefore.
I'd never had any kind ofoutburst or anything.
(10:30):
And it terrified me.
And then I look over and mydaughter saw me because she was
sitting on the stairs and shewas just so terrified looking
and so scared at this new lifethat we're experiencing.
She didn't know I'm her place ofsavior.
And now I'm her place of beingunsafe.
(10:51):
So it's just a wake-up call forme, seeing her face and her
crying, and then having toapologize and say how long it
is.
It really that night going tobed, I knew something had to
change.
And what really did it for mewas the next morning, a coworker
came and knocked on my door.
And he had taken an interestbecause I had stopped coming
(11:12):
into work at that point.
I was too activated every singleday in my PTSD.
I couldn't make it to work.
And he noticed.
So he showed up as part of thepeer support team.
And he just checked in to see ifI was okay.
And for the first time ever, Isaid, no, I'm not okay.
And I told him what happened.
And the beautiful thing aboutpeer support and community and
(11:36):
just connecting with anotherhuman being is when I shared
this vulnerable port of me thatwas struggling, he didn't shame
me or judge me.
He just walked inside with me.
He sat down and just was there.
And his presence made me feel soseen.
And he helped me get into arecovery center.
(11:57):
He bought me a plane ticket.
And four days later, I was at myrecovery center getting treated
for PTSD.
And I would not have gonewithout the push because I
didn't know where to go.
I just knew, okay, this is mylast day.
But my options were to not behere anymore on this earth or
(12:19):
for this wherever the universewas going to take me to get me
help, but I didn't know where tolook.
So it was the universeintervening and showing up that
day through Darren.
And he has been there every stepof the way since, too.
And that's the difference that apeer-to-peer connection can
make.
SPEAKER_03 (12:38):
I can imagine that you had so many things going
through your mind.
You're a single mom, and now youhad to make the decision to
leave your daughter.
What was that like for you?
SPEAKER_02 (12:49):
That was huge.
And that's another misconceptionI had made in my mind.
I had convinced myself when Ifirst found out about the
program, it was 41 days.
And I thought, there's no way inmy mind I can leave my daughter
for 41 days that she's neverbeen away from me.
And also, my mindset, I washighly suicidal.
(13:13):
And that's why I wasn't leavingmy house.
I was so afraid I was just goingto take a wrong turn or just not
come back.
Was just this overwhelming senseof, okay, I can't leave my
daughter for 41 days, but I'mgoing to leave her forever.
And in my sick mind, I didn'trealize they weren't the same
thing.
And taking that leap of faithinitially, because I had the
(13:36):
support of just one person,Darren was there and told me,
it's okay, I've got you.
He helped me with child care.
I couldn't have made it possiblewithout him.
And I ended up staying for 90days in that treatment center.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
That's amazing.
I'm so glad that you shared thepart about suicide, having
suicide ideologies.
What was it Darren that made youcomfortable to say it out loud?
Or was it the fact that you justknew that you needed to change
in order to get out of thatsituation that made you say it
out loud?
SPEAKER_02 (14:10):
It was the fact that I said it out loud.
And then once I uncorked andstarted sharing, I had gone
through just even before myinjury, before September 2023, I
was only five monthspost-hysterectomy from uterine
cancer.
So I already had some ultimateother stressors and major
(14:31):
illnesses I was trying toovercome.
And to be quite honest, none ofmy coworkers even knew because I
thought it was just too much tobring to the table.
So the fact that I startedtalking to him and I told him
everything, and he was justblown away that I had made it as
far as I did.
(14:51):
And I think that was veryvalidating for me to have
somebody else tell me, like,yeah, you have a problem.
Let's work on this together.
And I think that was a veryvalidating moment, just saying
it out loud and putting it outinto the universe and just that
little weight off of yourshoulders that you can
experience just by sharing.
(15:11):
We use an analogy in the firedepartment where every call we
go on is like a bite of anapple.
So anything traumatic we see isa bite of an apple.
And sometimes it gets stuck inyour throat and you just need to
cough up the piece of apple.
So having a conversation andsharing something stressful you
have going on is just likeremoving a piece of apple, just
(15:32):
trying to clear some space.
SPEAKER_03 (15:34):
I never heard that before.
I really like that.
So if someone is listening andthey have similar situations
going on, what is some advicethat you can give them just
about voicing, you know, thatthey need help and then just
accepting that help?
SPEAKER_02 (15:50):
Yeah, the first step is having a safe community or
someone that they feel that theycould open up to.
And if you don't have the familyand the friends, like I was in a
space I didn't have the familysupport or friend support, if
you're in that space, there'sprograms out there that I wasn't
even aware of.
They have free recovery centers,they have free counseling and
(16:13):
therapy group sessions.
And this is what I encourageeverybody is just to find a
therapist, and they will be areally good reference for other
resources.
And it's worth a shot to go intotherapy.
It is really amazing to be ableto just have that shared
witnessing of what you've beenthrough in your life and to get
(16:36):
some guidance on how to now workthrough it.
And with that, all of us aredifferent humans.
We're not all created equal.
So sometimes trying to find theright therapist and the right
fit doesn't happen right off thebat.
It's not a one size fits all.
It will take a little bit ofwork finding the right person,
but they are definitely outthere.
(16:57):
And everybody has the option toreach out to somebody if they
just do the first step, which isadmit they have a problem and
they need some help or need somesupport.
And however that looks, once youput it out there in the universe
and then you start makingintentional steps towards
finding your own support, itreally does start to come
(17:17):
together.
And it's amazing the people thatcome out of the woodworks.
And if you have no community oraccess to groups, there's groups
on Facebook.
I run a group, RekindledRetreats.
I have a Facebook group and wehave different free workshops.
I run a free weekly Zoom meetingfor first responders and people
(17:39):
who are suffering from PTSD.
It's just a space to jump on andbe able to talk about your wins
of the week and then share yourstruggles.
And the idea throughout thecommunity is somebody else has
been through a similar trauma.
You're never alone.
That was something I thought.
I was alone in my misery.
And the reality is, no, we'reactually all struggling in some
(18:03):
capacity.
And the real purpose.
Sorry.
And the real purpose is just tostruggle together.
SPEAKER_03 (19:02):
Yeah, I think when we go through trauma or any type
of situation that this catchesus off guard, I think sometimes
we do think that we are the onlyperson that has ever experienced
that.
And that mindset keeps us stuckand it just keeps us in that
place for way too long.
So how did you go from okay, yougot injured, you went through a
(19:24):
spat of PTSD, you went throughrecovery, and you extended your
recovery to now you are runningan organization called Rekindled
Retreats.
How did that all happen?
SPEAKER_02 (19:36):
It came together completely on its own, to be
honest.
And I'm still trying to catch upand tag along the journey and
figure out my place along it.
But what I found in my ownexperience, I came home after 90
days and it was really difficultto reintegrate back into life.
(19:58):
It you leave as one version ofyourself and you come back, this
different version who's veryvulnerable.
And you just in my program, itwas very intense.
It was in residence.
We did anywhere from 40 to 50hours of therapy a week.
And so we lived together, wespoke the language, we were
inundated in therapy.
(20:18):
So you come back inevitablydifferent, and you have real,
authentic relationships for alot of us, the first time in our
lives.
You share everything, you puteverything out on the table.
And it is such a blessing to beable to work through all that
stuff.
And then when you come home,you're expected to just be fixed
(20:40):
and come home back to theversion you were before your
depression or your anxiety orPTSD.
And the reality is now you'vecome back almost a more
sensitive version of yourselfbecause you're so open to the
world and to living again.
And then everybody has thesehigh expectations, and you tend
to slip right back into the samepatterns as you did before.
(21:04):
And I was no different.
I fell to that same pattern, andit was really difficult to start
finding connections back homethat I could share and feel
comfortable with.
So after about six months oftrying to find my own community
groups and going bouncing aroundfrom AA meetings to codependency
(21:24):
meetings and just trying to finda community that I fit in.
However, I didn't really fit inanywhere.
So I decided, okay, now it'stime for me to create my own
community because I need it.
It is driven by a self-led needof connection and community.
And my idea is we all come intogether and through the power
(21:49):
of connection, we're going tocome out on the other end,
friends.
We can hold the space for eachother in a way that we don't get
to experience every day.
And it's just comforting.
The most comforting thing I havefound is when I host these
meetings for other firstresponders, you don't have to
explain your job or the traumaor the story, because it's never
(22:13):
about that.
It's already happened and we'vemoved through it.
But the lasting imprint theymake that does stick around.
And that imprint, when we shareit and talk about, it's amazing
to me to see that every singleperson I have personally met and
talked to have the sameexperiences around trauma.
So it is just a reallyvalidating experience to jump on
(22:37):
with people going through thesame thing and realize, okay,
I'm not alone.
I'm not special in this PTSDthing.
It's we're all going throughthis together.
SPEAKER_03 (22:47):
So let's unpack that.
So you had 40, 50 hours oftherapy a week.
I can only imagine that wastough.
And you put in a lot of work.
So you transitioned home.
What strategies did you usetoday to just make sure that
your mental health stayed in astrong place?
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
I came back with a wellness.
Well, it's called a wrap plan.
And it's just basically a listof things that I can use as
tools or resources.
And so throughout the day, whenI first came home, I was looking
at this piece of paper probably10 times a day and looking at
what tool to do, and thenpicking one and then doing,
(23:27):
knowing it was a preventativecare to keep me stable and
feeling good.
And so I got a little lazy aftera couple months of being home.
As we do, we get sucked intodaily life.
And as I stopped going to thatpaper to grab different
practices, I noticed the stressstarted to come on a little bit
more.
And I actually discovered yoga.
(23:47):
So we did a little bit of yogaand simple mind-body connection
movements.
And so I thought, okay, Iremember doing that in therapy.
It was okay.
I was injured, so I couldn'tparticipate a lot.
So I started yoga and I did itas a mental health at first.
And then I realized physicallythe benefit it had on me.
(24:10):
I was able to get in and out ofbed at night without bending
over and trying to straighten myback.
And it just became thisbeautiful passion of mine now,
where I can't really overdoyoga.
I've overdone things in my life,bodybuilding and firefighting in
general.
The physical toll has beenreally heavy.
(24:30):
And with yoga, you can't reallyoverdo it because it's all about
your own experience and theability and capacity of your
body.
So that has been verytherapeutic.
And it's a daily reminder to mejust to really slow down and
connect with myself.
And the more I did yoga, themore I found that I was doing
the other practices throughoutthe day without even really
(24:53):
noticing if I would getirritated or a big one for me is
loud noises or somebodystartling me.
I will jump, I feel unsafe, Ilook around, I have to scan.
But I'm able to calm down withina minute or two now.
Whereas that feeling would be inmy body all day before.
And I'm noticing that's becauseof the mind-body balance I have
(25:14):
just from practicing every day.
It's the consistency of usingthe tools that makes the
difference.
And when you stop using them,that's when the chaos and the
world, it comes on too much andit's hard to cope.
So it's really about thatdiligent effort to put in every
day.
But they can be small practicesas little as a gratitude, just
(25:35):
in your mind, thinking of threethings you're grateful for the
day.
They don't have to beextravagant.
They can be as small or as largeas you want them to be, or you
have time for.
SPEAKER_03 (25:46):
Yeah, we definitely have to make recovery or what
relationships, whatever it is.
We have to make it a prioritybecause I think if we get sucked
back into just being busy andjust going into situations day
by day, we'll definitely digressfrom the things that we've
learned.
And so I'm so glad that yourecognize that quickly and that
(26:08):
you were able to implement yogato help you with your mindset
and just help you even with yourphysical well-being.
So that's really good.
So you started rekindle retreatsbecause you felt like there was
not a space that you fit in.
How has that changed your life?
SPEAKER_02 (26:27):
It has completely changed my life in that I we
have this text thread and wesend each other messages
throughout the day and just likelittle pick-me-ups.
And whenever I know I'm goinginto a stressful situation or I
have to make a stressful call,or as I'm preparing to go into
surgery again, I know that atany time I can drop that into
(26:49):
the text thread.
And in a matter of minutes, twopeople have responded to it.
And it's just that it's like asafety net, knowing that you
have friends and real peoplewho've just got your back.
And we are so lucky to havefound each other.
And we're all givers andcaregivers at heart.
(27:10):
So we want to be there foreverybody.
And it's just, it's been such apowerful movement in my life.
And trying to make that on abigger scale is my next step.
I want to currently they're overZoom because we have people from
Colorado, California.
We had a Florida firefighter onthere last week.
So it's just really cool how farit's expanding.
(27:32):
And it would be nice to have anin-person group.
That is going to be my next kindof setup.
So it will be local to thePortland area.
However, we'll still host theZoom too because we need to
capture a space everywhere.
SPEAKER_03 (27:46):
That's so interesting.
And it leads into my nextquestion because I was going to
ask you, where do you seerekindled retreats in the next
five years?
SPEAKER_02 (27:53):
Yeah.
Rekindled Retreats is going toeventually be a brick and
mortar, a retreat center.
And it will also have some yurtsin areas for glamping because
the relation that we have, therelationship we have with nature
is so powerful.
We see that in the seasons, justas the seasons come and go, our
(28:14):
emotions come and go.
And really modeling after theway nature runs its course and
almost living our own life inthat same rhythm is incredibly
beneficial.
And to be able to leave whateverstress you have in your
environment and come to ourretreat center.
And really, it's not aboutretreating.
I actually don't even love theword retreat, but everybody
(28:38):
knows what a retreat is.
And my idea is it's a retrieval.
So this is a place that you comeand you retrieve yourself.
And possibly this is for thefirst time you ever get the
opportunity to connect.
And I'm really looking forwardto when we have that brick and
mortar because part of ourretreats we do now, which are
(28:59):
different locations, we changelocations.
Our next one is in Rhododendrum,Oregon.
But the nice thing that we havewith the in-place one is we can
offer our workshops andtrainings that we offer in the
retreats.
We could do day events on theweekdays that are off.
And I see it as a space that'sbeing open to the public, like a
(29:21):
Monday through Friday, open tothe public.
And I really want to capitalizeon the middle class who are just
left unsupported.
When you get injured and youleave your field, PTSD lasts
forever.
So these symptoms are reallyhard to overcome, just even as
the days progress, although itgets easier, it's still always
(29:43):
there.
So I won't go back into atraumatic field like I was in.
So finding a space that I cancome and maybe even work or
volunteer or create service andbe able to give back in a little
way to other people goingthrough what you've already been
through is what I see for it inthe future.
(30:04):
And I've I'm really lookingforward to when that all comes
together.
But for now, we're just rentingsome beautiful Airbnbs.
And the beauty of that is we cando seasonal transitions to the
beach and to a summer house.
And they're all within an hourof the airport to make sure it's
easily accessible.
SPEAKER_03 (30:23):
So if someone is listening and they are
interested in rekindledretreats, you mentioned that you
have workshops.
Can you walk us through whatwill what one of your workshops
look like?
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
Yeah, our workshops always start with a grounding
practice.
We want to really make sure weare present in the moment and
what we're about to get into.
So it's about really focusing onthe now and experiencing.
The community of the group.
So we introduce ourselves, we gothrough that.
(30:54):
And then there's a training onthe window of tolerance and your
actual stress capacity.
And so we all discover where wewant our baseline to be.
A baseline is where you're themost confident.
You can cope with anythingthat's going to come your way
and you have a clear mind.
And when you get outside of yourwindow of tolerance, you get
(31:15):
really agitated.
You can't think straight.
You can't think clearly.
Or if you are below your windowof tolerance, you shut down.
That's when you know we breakdown and we cry and we just feel
like you're stuck and you can'tmove.
So actually visualizing this andcreating your own personalized
map of your own system is avaluable tool because everybody
(31:37):
leaves and walks away withknowing, okay, if I'm activated
in this way, then I can use thistool to come back down to my
baseline.
And it makes it easier to graspversus we've all heard going
fight or flight.
And so that's like turning onthe light.
You go fight or flight, you'returning on the light switch.
Or if you're really depressed,in bed, can't leave, you're
(32:00):
turning off the light switch.
The concept we teach is justhaving it dimmer.
You want to be able to dim upsometimes because as a first
responder, you need to be on.
You need to be in the fight orflight in that sympathetic
range.
But also you need to dial backdown to our baseline.
We can't live up there.
The light will eventually burnout if you keep it on all the
(32:22):
time.
So it's so valuable.
And the feedback we've had isthat the awareness people have
when they come home, and then wecontinuously reach out.
So it's not just the workshop,it's eight weeks of reaching
out, making sure the practicesmake sense, making sure they're
able to fit it into theirlifestyle or their professional
career in different areas thatwould benefit them.
(32:45):
So it's although some of theevents are only a four-hour
workshop, it it lasts eightweeks.
And then it's a forevercommunity where we jump on
calls.
So we're always available tojump on if people have questions
or they just want a little bump.
SPEAKER_03 (33:02):
That is really good.
And I like that.
So I can imagine as firstresponders, everyone was so
strong, everyone is soresilient.
So, how do you guys transitionto the just to relax?
I can imagine that part,especially if you're coming from
a field where you're always onedge and you're always alert.
(33:22):
How do you the grounding, yousaid grounding, but how do you
guys just really just relax andallow yourself to be present in
the moment?
SPEAKER_02 (33:32):
Yeah, I would say the bigger almost you could
relate it to personality, thebigger the personality and type
A and raw charge, I'm gonna takecharge, the more your
personality is engaged and yoursystem is activated.
It takes bigger tools to bringyou down.
So a big one that works everytime for me is the cold water.
(33:53):
And I do not love it.
I do not like the cold plungewhatsoever.
But if I'm really activated, itis something that does reset my
system right away.
And just because what happens isit takes me out of my thinking
brain where I'm just constantlyruminating, and it puts me into
(34:15):
that sympathetic range, but in acontrolled fashion, so that as I
breathe through the pain,essentially, because that water
is cold and painful, and as youbreathe through it, you can feel
yourself softly come back intoyour thinking brain.
And you're just thinking, okay,I can't wait to get out and get
my towel, and you have a planfor the hot shower.
(34:37):
And, you know, I'm gonna have acup of tea or coffee, and you
have this plan.
And when you get out, your bodyis actually warm and you're
adapted to the environmentoutside because you were so
cold.
And it's just such a calming, italmost puts me, I could almost
go to sleep after just becauseit brings me down to my calming
state so fast.
(34:58):
But it also works with just coldwater on your wrists.
So that is something you can doanywhere.
At a restaurant, when I'mfeeling really anxious, I'll
excuse myself, go to thebathroom and just put some cold
water on my wrists and just bereally intentional about okay, I
recognizing and naming I amanxious, just that alone is
(35:19):
going to reduce your anxiety by20%.
Just naming it and acknowledgingit in your body.
SPEAKER_03 (35:27):
Thank you for sharing that because I had no
idea that cold water could resetyour mindset.
Because I've met firstresponders.
I have a cousin that's afirefighter.
And when I tell you, he isalways like level 10, like he's
always alert, even if we gosomewhere.
I'm like, just relax.
It's like he's very just aware.
(35:49):
And so I was wondering if youget a bunch of first responders
in the room, how does thatprocess hurt with just trying to
get everyone to calm down, justget everyone to relax?
So thank you for sharing that.
That's really good.
I never did a cold water plunge.
I can imagine that is it's cold.
SPEAKER_02 (36:08):
Yep.
And I can imagine it's it's anextreme tool, right?
An extreme example.
But another extreme examplecould be meditation.
It takes a lot to sit in yourbody when you're always on the
go and moving.
And if you start with just fiveminutes of just sitting and just
noticing your thoughts andrecognizing what they are, not
(36:30):
changing anything about it.
And just sitting in that spacefor five minutes, eventually
through that discomfort overtime and consistency, like we
talked about, your body willstart to recognize that is safe
and where it wants to be.
So, just like anything, the moreyou practice, the better you're
going to become at it.
And it's really just a skillthat we never learned.
(36:52):
We never learned how to slowdown.
We were always, usually a lot ofus had a lot of expectations on
us as children and then intoadults and then our careers.
So we feel like we can't let ourguard down.
SPEAKER_03 (37:06):
Yeah, that is definitely so true.
So if someone's listening andthey don't know the benefits of
community, what's one thing thatyou have learned about healing
and community that you wish morepeople knew?
SPEAKER_02 (37:19):
I wish more people would understand that they're
not alone, that we are not alonein our problems.
And although a friend is goingthrough a different stressor or
a different event that may seemminor to us, it is a big event
in their life and it is a pointof stress.
(37:40):
And we can all relate to that.
You know, some of us have adifferent resiliency tank or
capacity to just take on more,and some of us don't.
And at the end of the day, thebiggest part that I can't stress
enough is just the more yougive, the more you get.
So maybe if you're in a groupand nobody's talking about real
(38:02):
deep conversations or it's justsurface conversation, maybe that
means you're the person whoneeds to step up and try to take
it to that next level and justopen up and just share.
Just have an open, honestconversation with whatever you
have going on.
And that then allows the otherperson the opportunity to share
and do the same.
(38:23):
And it's not about just dumpingall your traumas on somebody,
but it's also about not lying.
So when somebody asks me, Hey,how are you doing?
I don't just respond, Oh, I'mfine, I'm good.
I surprise them and I'll say,Oh, actually, today I'm a little
anxious because I'm waiting on aletter and it's two o'clock and
it hasn't gotten here yet.
(38:44):
And then they say, Oh, I canrelate to that.
I'm waiting on this or this.
It just what you give, you get.
And if nobody else is doing it,sometimes that means it's you.
It's on you to do.
SPEAKER_03 (39:01):
That's really good.
How do you hope sharing yourjourney will impact someone
that's listening today?
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
I hope people just realize there are resources out
there and I encourage them justto start looking for them.
And that is one thing I wantedwas just to get the awareness of
the there is community outthere, and there's people that
want to help.
And it's not just rekindled, Ihave a space for first
(39:29):
responders and PTSD survivors,but there are spaces out there
for everyone.
And it's just about going onFacebook or word of mouth and
asking.
Find the people that live thelife that you want or you
respect about them and ask themhow they got there, ask them
what they do for support.
(39:51):
You don't know unless you ask,and maybe some bit of advice
that they've learned throughtheir experience will help you
in your own.
SPEAKER_03 (40:00):
Yeah, so many of my listeners they do struggle with
whether the mom guild or PTSD oranxiety, work-life balance, just
a lot of things as entrepreneursand business owners.
So, what advice would you givethem to just slow down?
What advice can you give them tostart to slow down to balance
(40:22):
things for themselves?
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
Life is going to continue with or without you.
So whether you are showing up toevery event, they're still going
to happen.
And the beauty is the event orthe circumstance or the deadline
you have, they are still goingto be there in the future.
And not everything has to be anemergency.
(40:45):
I think we get really caught upwhere we need to do a bunch of
things when in reality, if westep back and saw what we had to
do and then what we thought wehad to do, I think we would be
amazed at how big the list isthat we think we have to do and
accomplish.
And we put the stress onourselves to get done when maybe
(41:08):
what we're doing is alreadyenough.
And when you stop and can justslow down and sit back when
you're doing your to-do list,maybe split it in half, do a
to-do list and a think I have todo list.
And then maybe if you don't haveenergy and you're coming to your
think I have to do list, maybethat's not the day.
And there is always a tomorrow.
(41:28):
And if there isn't a tomorrow,then we don't need to worry
about it.
SPEAKER_03 (41:33):
So now that you are on the other side of all of the
things that happened to you,does success look different to
you now?
What was that question?
Sorry.
So now that you have gonethrough your journey, you went
from being a firefighter, yougot hurt, you had to go through
recovery.
And now that you're on the otherside of your story, does this
(41:54):
does success look different toyou now?
SPEAKER_02 (41:57):
Yeah, everything about life looks different now.
Through my therapy center, welearned about internal family
systems, which is a modality oftherapy.
And through that modality, itcreates an awareness inside of
you for the emotions that you'refeeling at the moment and even
possibly where they werecreated, the trauma points or
(42:19):
the age line along the way.
And one thing I notice in myrecovery through everything I
went through is I am able torelate to people far greater
than I ever was before, in thatI can just sense and almost see
their emotions and the parts ofthem that we learn to read about
ourselves.
I'm starting to recognize thatin other people.
(42:41):
And it allows me to approachsomebody from a different lens
and also make it not about me.
So maybe if they're having a badday and they were rude to me, it
had nothing to do with me.
And the blessing of being ableto just verbalize, not
everything is about me.
This is their experience, andmaybe they're just having a bad
(43:02):
day.
And if I'm able to see it fromthat compassionate lens that
they're a person, they haveparts, they have emotions,
they're separate from me, it itrelieves that pressure for me to
have to be responsible for them.
If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03 (43:18):
No, it does.
And I could imagine that was anaha moment because when you're
in the moment, you don't realizethat we make things about
ourselves.
SPEAKER_02 (43:26):
Yeah.
We don't.
But we do at the end of the day,everything we tend to make about
ourselves, or we're thinking, Iused to, now having the
awareness now is I used toapproach conversations already
with the answer in my head andjust waiting to butt in.
And it came from a place oflove.
This person's struggling, and Ijust want to jump in and solve
(43:49):
it because it seemed so clearfor me as an outside eyes
looking in.
At the end of the day, that'snot a good friend.
And I could brag all day sayingI'm a good friend because I
helped them solve things, butreally I wasn't because I made
it all about myself and I didn'twant to be uncomfortable with
the fact I couldn't help themand just sit with them.
(44:10):
So it's a humbling experiencefor sure.
And it's empowering too, becauseyou put that on the other person
who maybe never gets theopportunity to be themselves or
be the lead or be asked, hey,how are you actually doing?
How often are we ever askedbesides a surface, hey, how you
(44:31):
doing?
When has somebody really satdown and said, Hey, I noticed
you're showing up different.
You know, what's going on withyou lately?
SPEAKER_03 (44:38):
Yeah, I think we are so used to being in a rat race
that when someone really stopsand genuinely listens to how our
day is going or really care toknow what's going on with us, I
think sometimes it can shock usbecause we are so busy and we're
so programmed to not beinconvenienced that sometimes
those moments are the thingsthat we need to even replenish
(45:01):
or refuel ourselves.
So I'm so glad that you'retalking about this.
So you have mentioned a lot.
You have these awesome retreatsat workshops.
If someone wanted to reach outto you or wanted to learn more
about your organization, how canthey do that?
SPEAKER_02 (45:15):
Yeah, I have a Facebook group on Facebook under
Rekindled Retreats, and we postall our active events and just
happenings around Rekindled onthere, as well as I have a
website, Rekindled Retreats.
And you can anyone can book fora free resiliency blueprint.
So this is 30 to 45 minutes oftime.
(45:37):
We speak over the phone and wereally just see what's going on
and create some resources foryou to be able to walk away with
and start either implementing inyour life or start calling and
trying to get the supports andthe pillars in place to be able
to even address and startaddressing our PTSD or other
depression anxiety that's goingon.
SPEAKER_03 (45:59):
Natalie, I am so glad that you joined us on today
because I know when most peoplehear the term PTSD, they think
of our military community.
They think of those militarymembers.
And so the fact that you wereable to have this conversation
and you talked about it and howit can affect anyone, especially
first responders.
It can affect someone that wassexually assaulted.
(46:21):
So PCSD is not bias, right?
It can affect anybody.
And so I'm so glad that youbrought that to the forefront
today because a lot of peoplethat's dealing with PTSD, they
could have shame, they couldhave embarrassment.
And so for you to have an open,candid conversation about it,
thank you so much.
So as we wrap up, what's onemessage or a piece of advice
(46:42):
that you can leave with ourlisteners who may be navigating
their own journey as it relatesto PTSD anxiety or depression?
SPEAKER_02 (46:50):
Yeah, I would just really offer to normalize the
situation.
You know, when you go throughthese life experiences, it is a
normal human reaction.
It is not something broken aboutyou.
There's nothing wrong about you,there's nothing that's
unfixable.
It is just simply something thathappened or was.
(47:13):
And it is about creating a spaceand making those intentional
movements moving forward.
But at the end of the day,you're never broken.
And that was how I felt.
I had no purpose and I wasbroken, and there was no need
for me here anymore.
And that just simply wasn't truebecause, in addition to who we
are in our careers and ouridentity, I'm also a mom, a
(47:35):
friend, a sister, a daughter,just a member of my community.
And we all matter, and it takesall of us to build a community
together.
SPEAKER_03 (47:45):
So you heard her.
It's all about community.
So if you are a first responderor is you are active or have
been hurt, whatever the case is,Natalie has created a community
for you.
So I will have definitely haveall of her contact information
in the show notes of thisepisode.
So make sure that you reach outbecause you don't have to do
life alone.
You don't have to go throughyour journey alone.
(48:05):
They have a group of people thatare waiting with open arms to
help you out.
So again, Natalie, thank you somuch for joining.
You have been a pleasure, and Ihave learned so much about your
organization and just about yousharing your story.
Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (48:23):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your host orto book a coaching session,
visit www.brooksdeming.com.
Until next time, rise.
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family, and businesscollide.
Hosted by Brooks Deming, Doctorof Business Administration,
Business Coach, and ResilienceExpert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
SPEAKER_03 (00:32):
Welcome back to Off Balance.
I'm your host, Dr.
Brooks.
If the struggles of life haveleft you cracked or broken,
today's episode will speak rightto your heart.
Today's guest is Natalie Nugent.
She's a trauma survivor, asingle mom, and the founder of
Recendle Retreats, a powerfulinitiative that creates safe,
restorative spaces for firstresponders, trauma survivors,
(00:52):
and caregivers.
Natalie, welcome to Off Ballet.
Thank you, Dr.
Brooks.
I'm excited to be here today.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Before we dive into ourconversation, can you introduce
yourself to the listeners andlet them know what it is that
you do?
SPEAKER_02 (01:08):
Yeah, my name is Natalie Nugent.
I am a former firefighter of 14years.
I just recently medicallyretired.
I had a significant accident onduty in September of 2023.
I've had three operations since,and I have one more scheduled in
three months.
So it's been a significanttrauma and event in my life.
(01:31):
And therefore I reevaluated anddecided to work with people who
also got injured.
And when you come off the line,you lose that brotherhood that
you had and that part of a teamor something, a bigger purpose
outside yourself.
And it's really lonely andisolating.
And I discovered that after myinjury, I fell down this
(01:52):
slippery slope with PTSD, whereit really took over and
struggled, it helped me struggleevery single day.
And through pulling through thatin the last two years and
recovering physically, it'sdrawn me to realize there's an
underserved population of peoplebeing injured and being forced
to medically retire or justbeing away from work and needing
(02:13):
support.
So I started rekindled retreatsas a way to offer that support
and offer peer coaching sopeople don't have to go through
that process alone.
SPEAKER_03 (02:22):
So you mentioned that you got hurt in the line of
duty.
So when you got hurt, how didthat moment redefine what your
future was going to look likefor you?
SPEAKER_02 (02:33):
That moment was pivotal in that I it gave me the
awareness that my whole identitywas wrapped up in firefighting.
So often, that's the first thingwe identify ourselves with.
My name is Natalie.
I'm a firefighter.
It's your whole identity.
And in that moment, in thatinjury, I lost my purpose
without the calling to come towork every day and serve my
(02:56):
community with a physical injurywhere I couldn't perform.
I was just so lost.
It felt like I had no identityleft.
I didn't know what I was evenhere to do anymore.
And that isolation was reallydifficult.
But that was such a pivotalbreakthrough moment because
through that breakdown,eventually through PTSD and
(03:18):
depression, I had abreakthrough.
It gave me the strength I neededto reevaluate and see where
there's another need.
And that is now my purposebecause I'm completely
physically fit and able toperform in a different way.
It doesn't have to just be onerole or nothing.
So it's the beauty of justtransitioning to something
different.
(03:38):
It doesn't have to look like youthought it would, but you can
make it look like whatever youwant to.
SPEAKER_03 (03:44):
You mentioned that you have PTSD.
What signs or symptoms did youdisplay to make you realize that
something was wrong?
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
One of the biggest things is isolation.
PTSD makes you, it strips youridentity and you start to see
the world as unsafe.
And that includes people in it,places, even as simple as the
grocery store, became reallyscary to my whole system.
And I felt responsible foreverybody in the store as if I
(04:15):
was on duty.
And then the the thought that Icouldn't show up if they needed
me was too much.
So I isolated.
And that is something that is socommon in PTSD because we are
afraid of how we're showing up.
We don't want to trouble otherpeople.
We don't want to burden, we'rethe ones that people call.
So we don't have anyone to call.
(04:36):
We don't want to burden otherpeople.
And so the isolation is one ofthe hardest symptoms.
But it starts with simply notsleeping through the night,
disturbed dreams or racingthoughts before bed.
It's the anxiety you feel whenyou hear a loud balloon pop or a
noise.
Anything that disrupts yourability to cope in the cert the
(04:59):
circumstance in which you're inis a symptom of PTSD or even
post-traumatic stress injury,which is an injury from
witnessing or experiencing atraumatic event.
So it can be a shock trauma likethat, where you witness
something, or it can be complexover time where you're witnessed
(05:19):
trauma or experiencing it over aprolonged period.
But symptoms of PTSD tend to bethe same, and the worst is the
isolation.
SPEAKER_01 (05:29):
Valkyrie Heart Rekindled, a raw, unfiltered
podcast for women on the frontlines, fire, EMS, healthcare,
and the military, about the workwe carry and the work it takes
to heal.
Hosts Natalie Nugent, retiredfirefighter, founder of
Rekindled Retreats, andChristina Dizon, active
firefighter, women's wellnessadvocate, explore PTSD, shift
(05:53):
work, hormone health, burnout,identity loss, and family
strain.
Each episode blends livedexperience with expert insight.
Join the conversation onSpotify, Apple Podcasts, and
YouTube.
SPEAKER_03 (06:09):
So when you isolated yourself, how did that affect
your family?
SPEAKER_02 (06:13):
It really affected my family.
As a single mom, it's just mydaughter and myself, and she is
nine.
I went from a high-functioningfirefighter.
I homeschooled my daughter forthree years, and we traveled
across the entire United States.
We camped four months out of theyear, out of our van, and we
were very active, and I was veryengaged in life.
(06:36):
And after my injury, I justreceded and I wasn't able to
show up for her in that way.
And my anger outburst because Iwould get so frustrated in the
inner shame that we feel abouthow we're acting, because we
know we're not acting the same,but we don't know why.
So that shame that I justcircled over, and then I would
(06:58):
get irritated at myself.
So any anything my daughter didwould just set me off.
And then we just got further andfurther apart because of it.
SPEAKER_03 (07:09):
So looking back at your journey and prior to your
injury, what is a misconceptionthat you had if you had one
about PTSD?
SPEAKER_02 (07:18):
I thought PTSD would never happen to me.
And I think, especially as afirst responder, we all have
that mentality.
We're the strong ones.
Everybody comes to us foranswers.
And so I think the awarenessthat it can happen to anybody is
huge because everybody'ssusceptible to trauma and it
(07:40):
affects us all.
And it just is based onsomebody's world life
experience.
If they have a lot of childhoodtrauma they haven't dealt with,
then any career they're in isgoing to compound that trauma.
The awareness of what you bringto the career or to the table
from your childhood is somethingthat was a misconception.
(08:00):
I had a rougher adversechildhood.
My mom was a drug addict in andout of jail.
And there's partial times in mylife where homeless.
So very traumatic events that Imade them through it.
So as an adult, I thought I wasfine.
I made it through.
I do the one-hour therapy everyweek.
I'm doing all the motions.
(08:21):
And so I never thought it wouldhappen to me.
I was preventing that.
But the thing is, it does happenwhen we don't talk about the
things, when we don't talk aboutthe struggles we're facing every
day, when we don't talk aboutthe extra struggles of even just
my childhood.
It was very really hard.
And had I been able to just cometo the table and actually
(08:42):
connect with my other coworkersand share my life experience,
they could have gotten a betteridea of who I was and we could
have just connected even morethan we did.
So it was looking back now bytrying to protect everybody
around me by not sharing mystory.
I inevitably pushed myselffurther and further away from
(09:05):
connection.
And that is definitely somethingI never thought would happen to
me.
SPEAKER_03 (09:12):
Yeah, so you were going through this, you were
isolating yourself, you noticedthat you were having anger
outbursts.
What moment changed your mindsetto where you decided I have to
get help?
SPEAKER_02 (09:24):
It was very significant.
I remember it.
My dog, we had to put down mydog in December 5th of 2023,
just a couple months after myaccident.
And that was really a big eventin my daughter and my life.
And that night we're trying tojust go through the motions and
be happy.
And I'm trying to just pushright through the pain of my dog
(09:48):
and not even stopping to justgrieve.
And so we're setting up theChristmas tree, and I'm trying
to make this really light andfun, but I'm really just
struggling on the inside andjust really faking it.
I had no business trying to doanything.
And the tree wouldn't snaptogether.
It was an artificial one.
And it was limb by limb, thelittle hook ones.
(10:09):
And finally, halfway through thetree, I just remember not being
able to lift my arm because Ihad right side paralysis.
So I couldn't hang any morebranches up.
And I got so overwhelmed andfrustrated, I picked the tree up
and I threw it across my livingroom.
And that had never happenedbefore.
I'd never had any kind ofoutburst or anything.
(10:30):
And it terrified me.
And then I look over and mydaughter saw me because she was
sitting on the stairs and shewas just so terrified looking
and so scared at this new lifethat we're experiencing.
She didn't know I'm her place ofsavior.
And now I'm her place of beingunsafe.
(10:51):
So it's just a wake-up call forme, seeing her face and her
crying, and then having toapologize and say how long it
is.
It really that night going tobed, I knew something had to
change.
And what really did it for mewas the next morning, a coworker
came and knocked on my door.
And he had taken an interestbecause I had stopped coming
(11:12):
into work at that point.
I was too activated every singleday in my PTSD.
I couldn't make it to work.
And he noticed.
So he showed up as part of thepeer support team.
And he just checked in to see ifI was okay.
And for the first time ever, Isaid, no, I'm not okay.
And I told him what happened.
And the beautiful thing aboutpeer support and community and
(11:36):
just connecting with anotherhuman being is when I shared
this vulnerable port of me thatwas struggling, he didn't shame
me or judge me.
He just walked inside with me.
He sat down and just was there.
And his presence made me feel soseen.
And he helped me get into arecovery center.
(11:57):
He bought me a plane ticket.
And four days later, I was at myrecovery center getting treated
for PTSD.
And I would not have gonewithout the push because I
didn't know where to go.
I just knew, okay, this is mylast day.
But my options were to not behere anymore on this earth or
(12:19):
for this wherever the universewas going to take me to get me
help, but I didn't know where tolook.
So it was the universeintervening and showing up that
day through Darren.
And he has been there every stepof the way since, too.
And that's the difference that apeer-to-peer connection can
make.
SPEAKER_03 (12:38):
I can imagine that you had so many things going
through your mind.
You're a single mom, and now youhad to make the decision to
leave your daughter.
What was that like for you?
SPEAKER_02 (12:49):
That was huge.
And that's another misconceptionI had made in my mind.
I had convinced myself when Ifirst found out about the
program, it was 41 days.
And I thought, there's no way inmy mind I can leave my daughter
for 41 days that she's neverbeen away from me.
And also, my mindset, I washighly suicidal.
(13:13):
And that's why I wasn't leavingmy house.
I was so afraid I was just goingto take a wrong turn or just not
come back.
Was just this overwhelming senseof, okay, I can't leave my
daughter for 41 days, but I'mgoing to leave her forever.
And in my sick mind, I didn'trealize they weren't the same
thing.
And taking that leap of faithinitially, because I had the
(13:36):
support of just one person,Darren was there and told me,
it's okay, I've got you.
He helped me with child care.
I couldn't have made it possiblewithout him.
And I ended up staying for 90days in that treatment center.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
That's amazing.
I'm so glad that you shared thepart about suicide, having
suicide ideologies.
What was it Darren that made youcomfortable to say it out loud?
Or was it the fact that you justknew that you needed to change
in order to get out of thatsituation that made you say it
out loud?
SPEAKER_02 (14:10):
It was the fact that I said it out loud.
And then once I uncorked andstarted sharing, I had gone
through just even before myinjury, before September 2023, I
was only five monthspost-hysterectomy from uterine
cancer.
So I already had some ultimateother stressors and major
(14:31):
illnesses I was trying toovercome.
And to be quite honest, none ofmy coworkers even knew because I
thought it was just too much tobring to the table.
So the fact that I startedtalking to him and I told him
everything, and he was justblown away that I had made it as
far as I did.
(14:51):
And I think that was veryvalidating for me to have
somebody else tell me, like,yeah, you have a problem.
Let's work on this together.
And I think that was a veryvalidating moment, just saying
it out loud and putting it outinto the universe and just that
little weight off of yourshoulders that you can
experience just by sharing.
(15:11):
We use an analogy in the firedepartment where every call we
go on is like a bite of anapple.
So anything traumatic we see isa bite of an apple.
And sometimes it gets stuck inyour throat and you just need to
cough up the piece of apple.
So having a conversation andsharing something stressful you
have going on is just likeremoving a piece of apple, just
(15:32):
trying to clear some space.
SPEAKER_03 (15:34):
I never heard that before.
I really like that.
So if someone is listening andthey have similar situations
going on, what is some advicethat you can give them just
about voicing, you know, thatthey need help and then just
accepting that help?
SPEAKER_02 (15:50):
Yeah, the first step is having a safe community or
someone that they feel that theycould open up to.
And if you don't have the familyand the friends, like I was in a
space I didn't have the familysupport or friend support, if
you're in that space, there'sprograms out there that I wasn't
even aware of.
They have free recovery centers,they have free counseling and
(16:13):
therapy group sessions.
And this is what I encourageeverybody is just to find a
therapist, and they will be areally good reference for other
resources.
And it's worth a shot to go intotherapy.
It is really amazing to be ableto just have that shared
witnessing of what you've beenthrough in your life and to get
(16:36):
some guidance on how to now workthrough it.
And with that, all of us aredifferent humans.
We're not all created equal.
So sometimes trying to find theright therapist and the right
fit doesn't happen right off thebat.
It's not a one size fits all.
It will take a little bit ofwork finding the right person,
but they are definitely outthere.
(16:57):
And everybody has the option toreach out to somebody if they
just do the first step, which isadmit they have a problem and
they need some help or need somesupport.
And however that looks, once youput it out there in the universe
and then you start makingintentional steps towards
finding your own support, itreally does start to come
(17:17):
together.
And it's amazing the people thatcome out of the woodworks.
And if you have no community oraccess to groups, there's groups
on Facebook.
I run a group, RekindledRetreats.
I have a Facebook group and wehave different free workshops.
I run a free weekly Zoom meetingfor first responders and people
(17:39):
who are suffering from PTSD.
It's just a space to jump on andbe able to talk about your wins
of the week and then share yourstruggles.
And the idea throughout thecommunity is somebody else has
been through a similar trauma.
You're never alone.
That was something I thought.
I was alone in my misery.
And the reality is, no, we'reactually all struggling in some
(18:03):
capacity.
And the real purpose.
Sorry.
And the real purpose is just tostruggle together.
SPEAKER_03 (19:02):
Yeah, I think when we go through trauma or any type
of situation that this catchesus off guard, I think sometimes
we do think that we are the onlyperson that has ever experienced
that.
And that mindset keeps us stuckand it just keeps us in that
place for way too long.
So how did you go from okay, yougot injured, you went through a
(19:24):
spat of PTSD, you went throughrecovery, and you extended your
recovery to now you are runningan organization called Rekindled
Retreats.
How did that all happen?
SPEAKER_02 (19:36):
It came together completely on its own, to be
honest.
And I'm still trying to catch upand tag along the journey and
figure out my place along it.
But what I found in my ownexperience, I came home after 90
days and it was really difficultto reintegrate back into life.
(19:58):
It you leave as one version ofyourself and you come back, this
different version who's veryvulnerable.
And you just in my program, itwas very intense.
It was in residence.
We did anywhere from 40 to 50hours of therapy a week.
And so we lived together, wespoke the language, we were
inundated in therapy.
(20:18):
So you come back inevitablydifferent, and you have real,
authentic relationships for alot of us, the first time in our
lives.
You share everything, you puteverything out on the table.
And it is such a blessing to beable to work through all that
stuff.
And then when you come home,you're expected to just be fixed
(20:40):
and come home back to theversion you were before your
depression or your anxiety orPTSD.
And the reality is now you'vecome back almost a more
sensitive version of yourselfbecause you're so open to the
world and to living again.
And then everybody has thesehigh expectations, and you tend
to slip right back into the samepatterns as you did before.
(21:04):
And I was no different.
I fell to that same pattern, andit was really difficult to start
finding connections back homethat I could share and feel
comfortable with.
So after about six months oftrying to find my own community
groups and going bouncing aroundfrom AA meetings to codependency
(21:24):
meetings and just trying to finda community that I fit in.
However, I didn't really fit inanywhere.
So I decided, okay, now it'stime for me to create my own
community because I need it.
It is driven by a self-led needof connection and community.
And my idea is we all come intogether and through the power
(21:49):
of connection, we're going tocome out on the other end,
friends.
We can hold the space for eachother in a way that we don't get
to experience every day.
And it's just comforting.
The most comforting thing I havefound is when I host these
meetings for other firstresponders, you don't have to
explain your job or the traumaor the story, because it's never
(22:13):
about that.
It's already happened and we'vemoved through it.
But the lasting imprint theymake that does stick around.
And that imprint, when we shareit and talk about, it's amazing
to me to see that every singleperson I have personally met and
talked to have the sameexperiences around trauma.
So it is just a reallyvalidating experience to jump on
(22:37):
with people going through thesame thing and realize, okay,
I'm not alone.
I'm not special in this PTSDthing.
It's we're all going throughthis together.
SPEAKER_03 (22:47):
So let's unpack that.
So you had 40, 50 hours oftherapy a week.
I can only imagine that wastough.
And you put in a lot of work.
So you transitioned home.
What strategies did you usetoday to just make sure that
your mental health stayed in astrong place?
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
I came back with a wellness.
Well, it's called a wrap plan.
And it's just basically a listof things that I can use as
tools or resources.
And so throughout the day, whenI first came home, I was looking
at this piece of paper probably10 times a day and looking at
what tool to do, and thenpicking one and then doing,
(23:27):
knowing it was a preventativecare to keep me stable and
feeling good.
And so I got a little lazy aftera couple months of being home.
As we do, we get sucked intodaily life.
And as I stopped going to thatpaper to grab different
practices, I noticed the stressstarted to come on a little bit
more.
And I actually discovered yoga.
(23:47):
So we did a little bit of yogaand simple mind-body connection
movements.
And so I thought, okay, Iremember doing that in therapy.
It was okay.
I was injured, so I couldn'tparticipate a lot.
So I started yoga and I did itas a mental health at first.
And then I realized physicallythe benefit it had on me.
(24:10):
I was able to get in and out ofbed at night without bending
over and trying to straighten myback.
And it just became thisbeautiful passion of mine now,
where I can't really overdoyoga.
I've overdone things in my life,bodybuilding and firefighting in
general.
The physical toll has beenreally heavy.
(24:30):
And with yoga, you can't reallyoverdo it because it's all about
your own experience and theability and capacity of your
body.
So that has been verytherapeutic.
And it's a daily reminder to mejust to really slow down and
connect with myself.
And the more I did yoga, themore I found that I was doing
the other practices throughoutthe day without even really
(24:53):
noticing if I would getirritated or a big one for me is
loud noises or somebodystartling me.
I will jump, I feel unsafe, Ilook around, I have to scan.
But I'm able to calm down withina minute or two now.
Whereas that feeling would be inmy body all day before.
And I'm noticing that's becauseof the mind-body balance I have
(25:14):
just from practicing every day.
It's the consistency of usingthe tools that makes the
difference.
And when you stop using them,that's when the chaos and the
world, it comes on too much andit's hard to cope.
So it's really about thatdiligent effort to put in every
day.
But they can be small practicesas little as a gratitude, just
(25:35):
in your mind, thinking of threethings you're grateful for the
day.
They don't have to beextravagant.
They can be as small or as largeas you want them to be, or you
have time for.
SPEAKER_03 (25:46):
Yeah, we definitely have to make recovery or what
relationships, whatever it is.
We have to make it a prioritybecause I think if we get sucked
back into just being busy andjust going into situations day
by day, we'll definitely digressfrom the things that we've
learned.
And so I'm so glad that yourecognize that quickly and that
(26:08):
you were able to implement yogato help you with your mindset
and just help you even with yourphysical well-being.
So that's really good.
So you started rekindle retreatsbecause you felt like there was
not a space that you fit in.
How has that changed your life?
SPEAKER_02 (26:27):
It has completely changed my life in that I we
have this text thread and wesend each other messages
throughout the day and just likelittle pick-me-ups.
And whenever I know I'm goinginto a stressful situation or I
have to make a stressful call,or as I'm preparing to go into
surgery again, I know that atany time I can drop that into
(26:49):
the text thread.
And in a matter of minutes, twopeople have responded to it.
And it's just that it's like asafety net, knowing that you
have friends and real peoplewho've just got your back.
And we are so lucky to havefound each other.
And we're all givers andcaregivers at heart.
(27:10):
So we want to be there foreverybody.
And it's just, it's been such apowerful movement in my life.
And trying to make that on abigger scale is my next step.
I want to currently they're overZoom because we have people from
Colorado, California.
We had a Florida firefighter onthere last week.
So it's just really cool how farit's expanding.
(27:32):
And it would be nice to have anin-person group.
That is going to be my next kindof setup.
So it will be local to thePortland area.
However, we'll still host theZoom too because we need to
capture a space everywhere.
SPEAKER_03 (27:46):
That's so interesting.
And it leads into my nextquestion because I was going to
ask you, where do you seerekindled retreats in the next
five years?
SPEAKER_02 (27:53):
Yeah.
Rekindled Retreats is going toeventually be a brick and
mortar, a retreat center.
And it will also have some yurtsin areas for glamping because
the relation that we have, therelationship we have with nature
is so powerful.
We see that in the seasons, justas the seasons come and go, our
(28:14):
emotions come and go.
And really modeling after theway nature runs its course and
almost living our own life inthat same rhythm is incredibly
beneficial.
And to be able to leave whateverstress you have in your
environment and come to ourretreat center.
And really, it's not aboutretreating.
I actually don't even love theword retreat, but everybody
(28:38):
knows what a retreat is.
And my idea is it's a retrieval.
So this is a place that you comeand you retrieve yourself.
And possibly this is for thefirst time you ever get the
opportunity to connect.
And I'm really looking forwardto when we have that brick and
mortar because part of ourretreats we do now, which are
(28:59):
different locations, we changelocations.
Our next one is in Rhododendrum,Oregon.
But the nice thing that we havewith the in-place one is we can
offer our workshops andtrainings that we offer in the
retreats.
We could do day events on theweekdays that are off.
And I see it as a space that'sbeing open to the public, like a
(29:21):
Monday through Friday, open tothe public.
And I really want to capitalizeon the middle class who are just
left unsupported.
When you get injured and youleave your field, PTSD lasts
forever.
So these symptoms are reallyhard to overcome, just even as
the days progress, although itgets easier, it's still always
(29:43):
there.
So I won't go back into atraumatic field like I was in.
So finding a space that I cancome and maybe even work or
volunteer or create service andbe able to give back in a little
way to other people goingthrough what you've already been
through is what I see for it inthe future.
(30:04):
And I've I'm really lookingforward to when that all comes
together.
But for now, we're just rentingsome beautiful Airbnbs.
And the beauty of that is we cando seasonal transitions to the
beach and to a summer house.
And they're all within an hourof the airport to make sure it's
easily accessible.
SPEAKER_03 (30:23):
So if someone is listening and they are
interested in rekindledretreats, you mentioned that you
have workshops.
Can you walk us through whatwill what one of your workshops
look like?
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
Yeah, our workshops always start with a grounding
practice.
We want to really make sure weare present in the moment and
what we're about to get into.
So it's about really focusing onthe now and experiencing.
The community of the group.
So we introduce ourselves, we gothrough that.
(30:54):
And then there's a training onthe window of tolerance and your
actual stress capacity.
And so we all discover where wewant our baseline to be.
A baseline is where you're themost confident.
You can cope with anythingthat's going to come your way
and you have a clear mind.
And when you get outside of yourwindow of tolerance, you get
(31:15):
really agitated.
You can't think straight.
You can't think clearly.
Or if you are below your windowof tolerance, you shut down.
That's when you know we breakdown and we cry and we just feel
like you're stuck and you can'tmove.
So actually visualizing this andcreating your own personalized
map of your own system is avaluable tool because everybody
(31:37):
leaves and walks away withknowing, okay, if I'm activated
in this way, then I can use thistool to come back down to my
baseline.
And it makes it easier to graspversus we've all heard going
fight or flight.
And so that's like turning onthe light.
You go fight or flight, you'returning on the light switch.
Or if you're really depressed,in bed, can't leave, you're
(32:00):
turning off the light switch.
The concept we teach is justhaving it dimmer.
You want to be able to dim upsometimes because as a first
responder, you need to be on.
You need to be in the fight orflight in that sympathetic
range.
But also you need to dial backdown to our baseline.
We can't live up there.
The light will eventually burnout if you keep it on all the
(32:22):
time.
So it's so valuable.
And the feedback we've had isthat the awareness people have
when they come home, and then wecontinuously reach out.
So it's not just the workshop,it's eight weeks of reaching
out, making sure the practicesmake sense, making sure they're
able to fit it into theirlifestyle or their professional
career in different areas thatwould benefit them.
(32:45):
So it's although some of theevents are only a four-hour
workshop, it it lasts eightweeks.
And then it's a forevercommunity where we jump on
calls.
So we're always available tojump on if people have questions
or they just want a little bump.
SPEAKER_03 (33:02):
That is really good.
And I like that.
So I can imagine as firstresponders, everyone was so
strong, everyone is soresilient.
So, how do you guys transitionto the just to relax?
I can imagine that part,especially if you're coming from
a field where you're always onedge and you're always alert.
(33:22):
How do you the grounding, yousaid grounding, but how do you
guys just really just relax andallow yourself to be present in
the moment?
SPEAKER_02 (33:32):
Yeah, I would say the bigger almost you could
relate it to personality, thebigger the personality and type
A and raw charge, I'm gonna takecharge, the more your
personality is engaged and yoursystem is activated.
It takes bigger tools to bringyou down.
So a big one that works everytime for me is the cold water.
(33:53):
And I do not love it.
I do not like the cold plungewhatsoever.
But if I'm really activated, itis something that does reset my
system right away.
And just because what happens isit takes me out of my thinking
brain where I'm just constantlyruminating, and it puts me into
(34:15):
that sympathetic range, but in acontrolled fashion, so that as I
breathe through the pain,essentially, because that water
is cold and painful, and as youbreathe through it, you can feel
yourself softly come back intoyour thinking brain.
And you're just thinking, okay,I can't wait to get out and get
my towel, and you have a planfor the hot shower.
(34:37):
And, you know, I'm gonna have acup of tea or coffee, and you
have this plan.
And when you get out, your bodyis actually warm and you're
adapted to the environmentoutside because you were so
cold.
And it's just such a calming, italmost puts me, I could almost
go to sleep after just becauseit brings me down to my calming
state so fast.
(34:58):
But it also works with just coldwater on your wrists.
So that is something you can doanywhere.
At a restaurant, when I'mfeeling really anxious, I'll
excuse myself, go to thebathroom and just put some cold
water on my wrists and just bereally intentional about okay, I
recognizing and naming I amanxious, just that alone is
(35:19):
going to reduce your anxiety by20%.
Just naming it and acknowledgingit in your body.
SPEAKER_03 (35:27):
Thank you for sharing that because I had no
idea that cold water could resetyour mindset.
Because I've met firstresponders.
I have a cousin that's afirefighter.
And when I tell you, he isalways like level 10, like he's
always alert, even if we gosomewhere.
I'm like, just relax.
It's like he's very just aware.
(35:49):
And so I was wondering if youget a bunch of first responders
in the room, how does thatprocess hurt with just trying to
get everyone to calm down, justget everyone to relax?
So thank you for sharing that.
That's really good.
I never did a cold water plunge.
I can imagine that is it's cold.
SPEAKER_02 (36:08):
Yep.
And I can imagine it's it's anextreme tool, right?
An extreme example.
But another extreme examplecould be meditation.
It takes a lot to sit in yourbody when you're always on the
go and moving.
And if you start with just fiveminutes of just sitting and just
noticing your thoughts andrecognizing what they are, not
(36:30):
changing anything about it.
And just sitting in that spacefor five minutes, eventually
through that discomfort overtime and consistency, like we
talked about, your body willstart to recognize that is safe
and where it wants to be.
So, just like anything, the moreyou practice, the better you're
going to become at it.
And it's really just a skillthat we never learned.
(36:52):
We never learned how to slowdown.
We were always, usually a lot ofus had a lot of expectations on
us as children and then intoadults and then our careers.
So we feel like we can't let ourguard down.
SPEAKER_03 (37:06):
Yeah, that is definitely so true.
So if someone's listening andthey don't know the benefits of
community, what's one thing thatyou have learned about healing
and community that you wish morepeople knew?
SPEAKER_02 (37:19):
I wish more people would understand that they're
not alone, that we are not alonein our problems.
And although a friend is goingthrough a different stressor or
a different event that may seemminor to us, it is a big event
in their life and it is a pointof stress.
(37:40):
And we can all relate to that.
You know, some of us have adifferent resiliency tank or
capacity to just take on more,and some of us don't.
And at the end of the day, thebiggest part that I can't stress
enough is just the more yougive, the more you get.
So maybe if you're in a groupand nobody's talking about real
(38:02):
deep conversations or it's justsurface conversation, maybe that
means you're the person whoneeds to step up and try to take
it to that next level and justopen up and just share.
Just have an open, honestconversation with whatever you
have going on.
And that then allows the otherperson the opportunity to share
and do the same.
(38:23):
And it's not about just dumpingall your traumas on somebody,
but it's also about not lying.
So when somebody asks me, Hey,how are you doing?
I don't just respond, Oh, I'mfine, I'm good.
I surprise them and I'll say,Oh, actually, today I'm a little
anxious because I'm waiting on aletter and it's two o'clock and
it hasn't gotten here yet.
(38:44):
And then they say, Oh, I canrelate to that.
I'm waiting on this or this.
It just what you give, you get.
And if nobody else is doing it,sometimes that means it's you.
It's on you to do.
SPEAKER_03 (39:01):
That's really good.
How do you hope sharing yourjourney will impact someone
that's listening today?
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
I hope people just realize there are resources out
there and I encourage them justto start looking for them.
And that is one thing I wantedwas just to get the awareness of
the there is community outthere, and there's people that
want to help.
And it's not just rekindled, Ihave a space for first
(39:29):
responders and PTSD survivors,but there are spaces out there
for everyone.
And it's just about going onFacebook or word of mouth and
asking.
Find the people that live thelife that you want or you
respect about them and ask themhow they got there, ask them
what they do for support.
(39:51):
You don't know unless you ask,and maybe some bit of advice
that they've learned throughtheir experience will help you
in your own.
SPEAKER_03 (40:00):
Yeah, so many of my listeners they do struggle with
whether the mom guild or PTSD oranxiety, work-life balance, just
a lot of things as entrepreneursand business owners.
So, what advice would you givethem to just slow down?
What advice can you give them tostart to slow down to balance
(40:22):
things for themselves?
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
Life is going to continue with or without you.
So whether you are showing up toevery event, they're still going
to happen.
And the beauty is the event orthe circumstance or the deadline
you have, they are still goingto be there in the future.
And not everything has to be anemergency.
(40:45):
I think we get really caught upwhere we need to do a bunch of
things when in reality, if westep back and saw what we had to
do and then what we thought wehad to do, I think we would be
amazed at how big the list isthat we think we have to do and
accomplish.
And we put the stress onourselves to get done when maybe
(41:08):
what we're doing is alreadyenough.
And when you stop and can justslow down and sit back when
you're doing your to-do list,maybe split it in half, do a
to-do list and a think I have todo list.
And then maybe if you don't haveenergy and you're coming to your
think I have to do list, maybethat's not the day.
And there is always a tomorrow.
(41:28):
And if there isn't a tomorrow,then we don't need to worry
about it.
SPEAKER_03 (41:33):
So now that you are on the other side of all of the
things that happened to you,does success look different to
you now?
What was that question?
Sorry.
So now that you have gonethrough your journey, you went
from being a firefighter, yougot hurt, you had to go through
recovery.
And now that you're on the otherside of your story, does this
(41:54):
does success look different toyou now?
SPEAKER_02 (41:57):
Yeah, everything about life looks different now.
Through my therapy center, welearned about internal family
systems, which is a modality oftherapy.
And through that modality, itcreates an awareness inside of
you for the emotions that you'refeeling at the moment and even
possibly where they werecreated, the trauma points or
(42:19):
the age line along the way.
And one thing I notice in myrecovery through everything I
went through is I am able torelate to people far greater
than I ever was before, in thatI can just sense and almost see
their emotions and the parts ofthem that we learn to read about
ourselves.
I'm starting to recognize thatin other people.
(42:41):
And it allows me to approachsomebody from a different lens
and also make it not about me.
So maybe if they're having a badday and they were rude to me, it
had nothing to do with me.
And the blessing of being ableto just verbalize, not
everything is about me.
This is their experience, andmaybe they're just having a bad
(43:02):
day.
And if I'm able to see it fromthat compassionate lens that
they're a person, they haveparts, they have emotions,
they're separate from me, it itrelieves that pressure for me to
have to be responsible for them.
If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03 (43:18):
No, it does.
And I could imagine that was anaha moment because when you're
in the moment, you don't realizethat we make things about
ourselves.
SPEAKER_02 (43:26):
Yeah.
We don't.
But we do at the end of the day,everything we tend to make about
ourselves, or we're thinking, Iused to, now having the
awareness now is I used toapproach conversations already
with the answer in my head andjust waiting to butt in.
And it came from a place oflove.
This person's struggling, and Ijust want to jump in and solve
(43:49):
it because it seemed so clearfor me as an outside eyes
looking in.
At the end of the day, that'snot a good friend.
And I could brag all day sayingI'm a good friend because I
helped them solve things, butreally I wasn't because I made
it all about myself and I didn'twant to be uncomfortable with
the fact I couldn't help themand just sit with them.
(44:10):
So it's a humbling experiencefor sure.
And it's empowering too, becauseyou put that on the other person
who maybe never gets theopportunity to be themselves or
be the lead or be asked, hey,how are you actually doing?
How often are we ever askedbesides a surface, hey, how you
(44:31):
doing?
When has somebody really satdown and said, Hey, I noticed
you're showing up different.
You know, what's going on withyou lately?
SPEAKER_03 (44:38):
Yeah, I think we are so used to being in a rat race
that when someone really stopsand genuinely listens to how our
day is going or really care toknow what's going on with us, I
think sometimes it can shock usbecause we are so busy and we're
so programmed to not beinconvenienced that sometimes
those moments are the thingsthat we need to even replenish
(45:01):
or refuel ourselves.
So I'm so glad that you'retalking about this.
So you have mentioned a lot.
You have these awesome retreatsat workshops.
If someone wanted to reach outto you or wanted to learn more
about your organization, how canthey do that?
SPEAKER_02 (45:15):
Yeah, I have a Facebook group on Facebook under
Rekindled Retreats, and we postall our active events and just
happenings around Rekindled onthere, as well as I have a
website, Rekindled Retreats.
And you can anyone can book fora free resiliency blueprint.
So this is 30 to 45 minutes oftime.
(45:37):
We speak over the phone and wereally just see what's going on
and create some resources foryou to be able to walk away with
and start either implementing inyour life or start calling and
trying to get the supports andthe pillars in place to be able
to even address and startaddressing our PTSD or other
depression anxiety that's goingon.
SPEAKER_03 (45:59):
Natalie, I am so glad that you joined us on today
because I know when most peoplehear the term PTSD, they think
of our military community.
They think of those militarymembers.
And so the fact that you wereable to have this conversation
and you talked about it and howit can affect anyone, especially
first responders.
It can affect someone that wassexually assaulted.
(46:21):
So PCSD is not bias, right?
It can affect anybody.
And so I'm so glad that youbrought that to the forefront
today because a lot of peoplethat's dealing with PTSD, they
could have shame, they couldhave embarrassment.
And so for you to have an open,candid conversation about it,
thank you so much.
So as we wrap up, what's onemessage or a piece of advice
(46:42):
that you can leave with ourlisteners who may be navigating
their own journey as it relatesto PTSD anxiety or depression?
SPEAKER_02 (46:50):
Yeah, I would just really offer to normalize the
situation.
You know, when you go throughthese life experiences, it is a
normal human reaction.
It is not something broken aboutyou.
There's nothing wrong about you,there's nothing that's
unfixable.
It is just simply something thathappened or was.
(47:13):
And it is about creating a spaceand making those intentional
movements moving forward.
But at the end of the day,you're never broken.
And that was how I felt.
I had no purpose and I wasbroken, and there was no need
for me here anymore.
And that just simply wasn't truebecause, in addition to who we
are in our careers and ouridentity, I'm also a mom, a
(47:35):
friend, a sister, a daughter,just a member of my community.
And we all matter, and it takesall of us to build a community
together.
SPEAKER_03 (47:45):
So you heard her.
It's all about community.
So if you are a first responderor is you are active or have
been hurt, whatever the case is,Natalie has created a community
for you.
So I will have definitely haveall of her contact information
in the show notes of thisepisode.
So make sure that you reach outbecause you don't have to do
life alone.
You don't have to go throughyour journey alone.
(48:05):
They have a group of people thatare waiting with open arms to
help you out.
So again, Natalie, thank you somuch for joining.
You have been a pleasure, and Ihave learned so much about your
organization and just about yousharing your story.
Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (48:23):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your host orto book a coaching session,
visit www.brooksdeming.com.
Until next time, rise.
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