November 4, 2025 • 30 mins
Drowning in the relentless demands of working from home while raising a family? Time management coach Alyssa Wolff shatters conventional productivity myths and offers a revolutionary approach to creating balance for overwhelmed mothers.
As a homeschooling mother of five running a thriving coaching business, Alyssa speaks from experience when she challenges the "just be more disciplined" mentality that leaves so many women feeling inadequate. Her refreshing philosophy? The problem isn't you, it's your system.
Through this illuminating conversation with host Brooks Demming, Alyssa reveals her three-pillar approach to time freedom: strategic scheduling, mindset transformation, and fearless delegation. Rather than teaching you to cram more tasks into each day, she'll show you how to ruthlessly prune your to-do list from 20 items to just 7 (or fewer!), giving you permission to honor your energy levels and capacity.
You'll discover how compartmentalizing your day eliminates the guilt-inducing tug-of-war between work and family, why true self-care must be more than squeezing in a podcast while folding laundry, and how examining your childhood programming might be the key to finally accepting help. For mothers of children with special needs, Alyssa offers personalized strategies drawn from her own experience raising autistic children.
Ready to transform frustration into freedom? Download Alyssa's exclusive audio feed "Time Back Seekers for Work-at-Home Moms" at yornbusylife.com and take the first step toward a life where you can thrive professionally while being fully present for your family, all without burning yourself out in the process.
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unbusy-mom-time-management-for-work-at-home-moms/id1601873433
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family, and businesscollide.
Hosted by Brooke Demick, Doctorof Business Administration,
Business Coach, and ResilienceExpert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Many work from home, they feel buried under their
weight of chores, childcare, andbusiness tasks, wondering if
it's even possible to keep up.
Today's conversation willdemonstrate how effective time
management, mindset shifts, anda bit of creativity can
transform chaos into balance.
My guest today is Alyssa Wolf, atime management coach,
entrepreneur, and homeschoolingmom of five.
(00:58):
What started as a way to beatboredom after having baby number
five turned into a thrivingconsulting business, helping
work-from-home moms reclaim timeand joy.
Alyssa, welcome to Off Balance.
Thank you, Rex.
Thank you so much for joining metoday.
I am so excited because I canremember when I had my daughter
(01:20):
and I was working from home.
I was so overwhelmed.
I wish you were around 20 yearsago when I gave birth.
Before we dive into ourconversation, can you introduce
yourself and tell listeners alittle bit more about who you
are and what it is that you do?
SPEAKER_01 (01:37):
Sure.
So I'm going to take your timeback, coach, for any mom that's
working from home.
So whether that's corporate andyou're flexible or you're
actually an entrepreneur runningyour own business, I'm going to
help you get control of yourschedule.
So not in a how many meetings doI need to take and what does my
boss want kind of a way, but howdo I have time for the kids?
Because that's probably why youare working remote or from home
(01:58):
with your business.
Plus, have the time for myself,my husband, getting all the work
stuff, managing the house, allthat sort of thing without going
crazy.
Because I don't believe you needto live the too busy hamster
wheel kind of life.
SPEAKER_02 (02:12):
What uh prompted you to even start consulting in this
area?
SPEAKER_01 (02:18):
I looked at the basic business thing of, you
know, you need to help peoplebased off your strengths.
And time, time management wasalways something that came super
easily to me.
And I was running my life withfive kids in a homeschool and
without feeling stressedday-to-day, which I know is
really unusual.
Any mom I talked to, she had twoor more kids, she's just like,
busy.
(02:38):
How are you?
Busy.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
That's interesting.
So when it comes to timemanagement and the juggling
day-to-day tasks, whether it bewith your children or running a
home, can you explain what yourprocess looks like in practice?
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
Sure.
So I think everyone through likescheduling mindset and
delegation.
So scheduling for me is that'syour calendar and schedule, but
it's also your to-do list andit's your self-care.
If we don't put that on theschedule, it's probably not
going to happen.
And mindset is rewiring thingsbecause maybe you have some
worthiness blocks, some stories,how your parents raised you and
(03:16):
you're bringing those roles intoyour current life.
And that's causing you to notaccept help because you feel
like the mother should be theone who has to do everything
around the house.
Or maybe you feel like, well,it's okay to have a side hustle,
but it's not allowed to be afull-time thing that makes a lot
of money.
So stuff like that, we need tofix those.
So you can actually let yourselfstep into the time of freedom
(03:36):
that we're creating and notself-sabotage.
And then lastly is delegation,because of course it is true you
can't do it all, but if you canbuy back some of your time,
whether that's giving chores toyour kids or literally buying it
back, there are so many thingsaround the house and in your
business you do not need to bedoing.
Do not require someone with adriver's license, you know,
knife skills, the exactmessaging that only you know how
(03:59):
to do for your audience, or youon camera.
There's so much there that wecan get rid of off your plate.
SPEAKER_02 (04:04):
Yeah, you mentioned self-sabotage and you also
talked about guilt.
So for mothers that arelistening, how can they begin to
delegate or begin to prioritizetheir self or even, you know,
just ask for help withoutfeeling guilty?
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
I think first you just need to have the time
carved out to do that.
Because if you feel like you'vegotten a long to-do list, then
you're somehow supposed to haveself-care on top of that.
It's not gonna happen.
You know that.
So we need to cut down thatto-do list, make it manageable.
And part of the way we do thatis by getting really good at
asking yourself, do I haveenergy for this today?
(04:42):
And if you have to say no to sixseparate things in your to-do
list because you already tookthree, and those were kind of
the big rocks for the day andyou the use of dollar, that's
when you can say, okay, if ithas to get done today, if those
six things have to get donetoday, I need to ask someone
else for help.
Well, probably not all sixactually need to get done today.
And then you can push them offand make the decisions another
(05:02):
day if your brain is all tappedup, but get really, really good
at saying, yes, but how muchcapacity do I have?
And as soon as you hit that, youstop.
Anything else someone else needsto be doing.
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
That is good advice.
And you talked about the timemanagement aspect.
What are some other practicalstrategies that can help moms
feel unbus?
SPEAKER_01 (05:23):
If you can bucket out your day for like this is
work, this is the time I'mspending with the kids, this is
when I'm prepping supper, thenyou're not feeling that constant
tug of war between here, I'manswering clients on my phone
and my kids talking to me at thesame time.
And I'm supposed to be givingattention to him, but I'm really
going to talk to the clients,kind of a thing.
So it really helps to justseparate things out.
(05:44):
Like, don't play themultitasking game.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Okay, so let's get let me make sure I understand.
I know sometimes when you workfrom home, you can overlap when
you should be working or whenyou should be doing home things.
So when a client works with you,you compartmentalize.
SPEAKER_01 (06:01):
Yes.
Once they give me the kind ofbrain dump of this is all the
stuff going on in my schedule,here are my heart to stops,
here's my business model, here'show many kids I have, school,
all that sort of a thing.
I come in and help themcompartmentalize so we can say,
okay, you're feeling bad thatyou weren't spending time with
your three-year-old who's athome half the day with you.
Right.
What else were you doing in thattime period?
(06:23):
If we can delegate threedifferent chores off your plate
and two different businessthings so that you don't have
work to do in that time period,then you're spending time with
the three-year-old.
Then you're feeling like you'rebeing a good mother and you're
still making the money in thebusiness because you're still
hitting all the metrics on thatside.
SPEAKER_02 (06:38):
You started your business out of boredom.
What did the early season teachyou about time management,
energy, and purpose?
SPEAKER_01 (06:47):
It was kind of the testing zone.
I had to go through that andsay, wow, I can't make it
through to 3 p.m.
I have to have a break.
Like, I can barely make it to12.
So I learned a lot about givingmyself the breaks I needed
instead of waiting until the endof the day when his mom's like,
okay, done with the work, donewith the second shift.
Oh no, I need to talk to mypartner.
Okay, I guess that's break time.
Like, well, no, not for all ofus.
(07:10):
We need help a little sooner inthe day.
And I didn't want my kids to beraised in that kind of hustle
and busy culture, even if it wasjust the being at home with
them.
Because you can always findanother to take your kids to,
another Pinterest cleaningroutine that absolutely must get
done, a new recipe to try.
I didn't want to be like that.
I wanted to feel like my dayswere spacious.
I had enough time for hobbies,for me, for all of that.
(07:32):
So I built that in right fromthe get-go.
SPEAKER_02 (07:36):
That is very interesting because when you
talk about using brakes as ameans to turbocharge, sometimes
I know for moms, we canliterally take breaks, but we're
still doing stuff for otherpeople.
So can you unpack for us what itwill look like in a mom schedule
to actually take a break forourselves?
SPEAKER_01 (07:55):
Anything that's focused on you that contributes
to your well-being andrecharging.
Imagine you've got a battery andit's the mommy battery, and you
know, you're kind of blinkingred.
What would fill you up?
Is it going for a walk, but ithas to be by yourself, not
taking the kids along to givethem the fresh air?
Is it exercise or does that feellike another should?
(08:15):
Can you do journaling or mindsetwork?
Does that feel like somethingfor you?
You're just, you know, gettingall these thoughts out so you
don't feel stressed and youdon't unload on your husband the
minute he comes home from work.
What about, for example, doing ahobby?
Even if it takes, you know, anhour plus, maybe it's like
sewing your quilting.
These aren't one of these, youknow, five or ten minutes and
then you drop them kind ofthings.
(08:36):
What about deep hobby time?
What can you do that if you cameback from it, you would feel
super energized and ready to goagain about your day?
Not, oh, well, I'm sitting down.
I may as well fold laundromaland listen to your podcast.
No, your brain reads that I'mfolding laundry.
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
When you first started this, what resources and
tools help you the most?
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
I was a big fan of online education.
So I got all the low-costcourses I could find targeted to
what I needed.
So like I had a WordPresswebsite, I got a course on
WordPress, so I hadn't a clue ofthat kind of a thing.
Like, what are basic businessmodels?
How do you write nurturesequences?
How do you show up on camera?
What do you do if you're scaredof that?
You know, learning practicing,that's what helps me get over
(09:24):
the hungry.
SPEAKER_02 (10:16):
Now that you have everything balanced and you're
able to successfully work fromhome, you're able to spend time
with your kids.
Has your definition of successchanged because of this?
SPEAKER_01 (10:27):
No, I think it's the same one.
It's just you keep givingyourself bigger goals, like
bigger metrics to hit.
And then on the parenting side,of course, success might change
slightly when you update it foreach of your kids' seasons.
Like I've got high schoolers whoare going off to college.
So success for them looks alittle different than my
six-year-old who's learning howto read.
SPEAKER_02 (10:47):
This is so interesting.
How do you apply the principleacross your business and your
family?
Do you have the same strategiesfor your family as well as your
business?
SPEAKER_01 (10:58):
Yeah, pretty much the same thing.
So my teenagers will kind oflaugh to themselves if they hear
me talking to a client, like,yeah, we knew all that five
years ago, Mom.
I'm like, see, you'll have amoney up.
SPEAKER_02 (11:10):
If uh someone is listening and they're like, oh
my God, I am struggling and Ireally want to work with you.
Can you walk us through theprocess?
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
So we'll probably DM a bit, email, see what container
you're in the exact right fitfor.
But my meeting program is a donefor you offer because you don't
need more stuff in your life.
Kind of outsource that where doall the puzzle pieces fit about
your day?
That's what's stressed me out.
So outsource that to me becauseit's fun for me.
And then we're going to take youthrough a four-month process
(11:39):
where I create all that for you.
And then I don't say, well,here's what I think the perfect
schedule makeover is.
You know, makeovers go realwell.
I say, here's what I think agood starting point is to start
hitting your priorities andgiving you the time.
Now tell me what means tweaking,because sometimes when your
coach hands you something back,you're like, oh wait, I totally
forgot to tell you.
My husband always has this workmeeting at 4 p.m.
(12:01):
when that wasn't in theschedule.
Oh, I'm doing this volunteercommitment.
Oh, actually, I'm completely outof energy then.
I cannot record reels.
So we give you time to go backand say, change this, this,
this, and this.
So it is truly what you need,not what I looking from the
outside, say, well, that oughtto work.
You need that for super duperpersonalized approach.
(12:21):
And once we have that, then wecan do the mindset rewiring
session, saying, okay, imagineyourself living out this day
next week.
What are all those buts, ifs, ohwell, maybe hesitations that are
kind of going to come up?
So we do a targeted, intuitivesession about that.
And then we'll give you 30 daysof support.
So you can just be constantlysitting there messaging me, ah,
(12:42):
my kid did this.
Ah, my kid got sent home sick.
No, I can't work.
So my perfect schedule does nogood.
What am I doing with my stackedup to-do list?
Everything that's going on,because I don't want to send you
off into the sunset with a newsketch.
You need to be embodying it,living it day to day.
It's like training bills with methere to help you adjust.
You don't just live into thisnew thing instantly because a
(13:04):
coach says, here, I think thisis the best strategy for you,
right?
You need some practice in a safeplace for it.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
What's one of the common misconceptions that
people have about timemanagement and what this will
look like in their day-to-daypractice?
SPEAKER_01 (13:22):
This is one of my favorite questions because most
people think it's all aboutgetting Uber efficient.
So that I'm going to come in andsay, Oh, you need to be super
type A, you need to get way moreproductive, in other words, cram
50 things in your day instead of20, that'll fix everything about
your to-do list.
Whereas I'm coming the completeopposite direction, saying, no,
no, no, your 20-addem to-do listis overwhelming you.
Let's cut it down to seven.
(13:42):
And if that's overwhelming, youwill cut it down to five.
We need to fix the to-do list.
We don't fix you.
We fix the to-dos.
They're what's putting pressureon you.
SPEAKER_02 (13:52):
I can imagine that people will think that it's
about fixing themselves and nottheir actual schedule or their
to-do list.
So if someone is listening, howdoes your space create a space
where it's no judgment?
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
I'm a big believer in personality theory.
So the way we're applying thisis the time management saying,
you are the way you are, likethe way God created you.
So instead of fitting you intothe mold of the personality
advice, you know, just do it,keep hustling, get more
discipline.
We're saying, no, no, we startwith you.
What is best for you and yourneeds?
So this goes beyond the familylife season.
It's going, you as the woman,what are all the things that
(14:27):
have never worked for you whenyou were single and you could be
as productive as you wanted?
Like there's some stuff thatnever did work.
So how much worse is it now withthe house and the kids and the
husband if you're trying to dothose very same strategies?
You've got to completely rebuildfrom the ground up with someone
who says, Oh, well, we can tryit this way.
We can try it this way.
(14:47):
There's no judgment attached toit.
It's simply, well, that was thewrong strategy for you.
Let's find it better.
SPEAKER_02 (14:54):
What are some strategies that people can use
to start shifting their mindsettowards time management,
self-care, and just trying tobalance their lives?
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
If you're really anti-mindset, what I'd start you
off with is don't my kids desertan emotionally regulated mother?
You know, the person who doesn'tsnap at them, doesn't yell at
them, is there for thememotionally.
Well, okay, we want that.
So how are you gonna get there?
It's not by telling yourself notto yell at them, right?
It's you have to be calmed downinternally enough, not have a
(15:24):
bunch of things going off inyour brain, like, ah, this fire,
that fire, the other fire, needto deal with it.
Because that's what causes youto react to your kids and snap
at them in the moment.
Whereas if those things werehandled, if your brain's kind of
feeling calm, yes, you would beable to listen to them and take
that extra second to think andrespond the way you want to
respond as the parent.
(15:45):
So anything that gets you out ofthat reactive frazzle state is
going to help you with yourmindset, whether that's that
walk, you can kind of rant toyour phone notes, maybe it's the
journaling, since that is aclassic technique.
Maybe you need stuff more likeEFT or breath work.
Find something that gets themental frazzle out of your brain
and then practice it daily forat least 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:08):
You just talked about frustrated, snapping.
What are some other signs that amom listening can recognize if
it's time for her to bringsomeone in to help her
facilitate change?
SPEAKER_01 (16:19):
If stuff is constantly going on in your
schedule, and by that I meanlike you made the plan for the
week and you're like, stuff isalways not fitting in, like it's
overflowing, and this has becomeconstant.
Like this isn't just a busy day.
This is my new normal.
Or you there's always the sametime of day, you are getting
frustrated because no one elseis helping you clean up the
(16:39):
kitchen, package the leftovers,wipe down the counters, you
know.
Those are signs you need to takeaction.
It's not a one-off.
See, we as moms, we like to tellourselves, oh, this is just a
one-off.
It's just a busy season.
It's like, no, you see apattern, you need to fix it.
SPEAKER_02 (16:54):
I know sometimes mom guilt, it can be heavy,
especially for entrepreneurs.
What helped you release the tugof war in your life between your
business and your kids?
SPEAKER_01 (17:05):
Having those time blocks to spend with the kids
because it's really hard to keepguilting yourself if you're
like, but I already spent 15minutes when I went with that
kid and that kid and that kidand that kid and that kid.
And we're doing a family outingthis weekend, and they know they
can come to me whenever they'vegot something else going on at
school or their friends.
In fact, I have extra time builtin with them for that.
(17:25):
Then you can kind of see, oh,okay, so it's Pinterest mom that
says I should spend an hour witheach kid.
Yeah, that might be unrealistic.
But you have to actually havethe time in your schedule and it
not getting pushed out by otherone-off things, you know, that
whole, oh, I'm too busy, so Ipushed off the quality time to
the kid.
You have to actually be doing itevery single day and week.
And then that's when you can belike, oh, I think this mom guilt
(17:48):
is just false guilt because I dohave a good relationship with
them.
I am spending time with apartner, right?
You have any of the work goals,so it's perfectly fine working
this number of hours a week.
SPEAKER_02 (18:00):
When it comes to the time blocks, when you work with
parents, are the time blocksstructured based on their
particular situation?
SPEAKER_01 (18:08):
100%.
Like I don't come in and say,oh, I think you ought to have a
three-hour work span here, oroh, I'm sure you could only
manage 30 minutes.
I let them tell me.
And then I might make asuggestion like it looks like
you're spending four hours onhouse cleaning stuff here.
Why is it taking four hours?
And you still have more housecleaning time blocks later in
the week.
So I can push back and say,like, what's going on here?
(18:31):
And is that actually all you'redoing, or are you multitasking
again?
SPEAKER_02 (18:36):
Sometimes when you have coaching programs or
consulting programs, it's almostlike a one-size-fit-all.
So I am so glad that yourclients have individualized
programs to help them to besuccessful.
When you decided to go intoconsulting, what made you decide
to do it individualized versus agroup approach?
SPEAKER_01 (18:59):
Yeah.
Well, I was someone who was biginto like self-help, read the
books and stuff, but it occurredto me, if just a book or course
was all that we needed, like wewould all be these amazing,
productive, next level versionsof ourselves.
There is no way to contact theauthor, the New York Times
bestseller, and say, Iunderstand your principle, but
(19:19):
how would you apply this to mysituation?
My kid does this, therefore Ican't follow your principle to
the T.
How do you personalize that?
You need some form of accessbecause absolutely the
principles are the same.
Like there's nothing wrong withthat author's principles.
You need the principles, butit's the personalization where
the river meets the road and yousee that actual transformation
to where you're living theunicorn version of the work from
(19:41):
home life, you know, the pinchme one, not the just mine must
be the problem.
It works for everyone else, butnot me one.
SPEAKER_02 (19:48):
How would this program work for moms that may
be listening and they're like,this sounds great, but I have
autistic children or I have achild that has disabilities.
How would that work for them?
Or take that into account.
SPEAKER_01 (20:00):
I have autistic kids as well.
So not only the personalexperience, but it's focused on
what do you need?
Maybe you need a ton of extratime during the day to deal with
meltdowns, or you cannot haveclient calls at rigid times
because you don't know what yourson's temper is going to be like
right at that time.
You have a ton of extraappointments.
I've had clients with that, thattheir schedule is thick with all
(20:22):
the therapies and themedications.
We're just working with whatyou've got and saying, these are
your priorities.
Of course, your kids are a hugepart of your priority list.
What can we do around that?
So you feel like you're still awhole woman.
You don't have to give up yourambitions, you don't have to
give up your family, you don'thave to give up the extra level
of care that your kids need andstill make this work.
So we get really ruthless atcutting out all the stuff that
(20:44):
does not belong in that prioritylist.
SPEAKER_02 (20:47):
Alyssa, some people are listening, look, they're
listening, they're like, wedon't have a schedule.
What harm can it cause for afamily to not have a schedule?
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
That is when you get the perennial lateness, or I
thought you were taking him tobaseball practice.
I'm not.
I've got this work meeting, orI'm at the grocery store.
I literally cannot come home anddeal with it right now.
And now the kids can be late andget in trouble with the coach
and all these separate things.
Like you've got to havesomething, even if it's not this
rigid schedule, some sort offamily calendar, you know,
(21:21):
tracking with everything that'sgoing on, especially if you have
a lot of kids or a lot ofactivities that they're involved
in.
SPEAKER_02 (21:27):
I can remember we did not have a schedule for the
longest.
We were literally just trying tofigure it out day by day.
I can imagine that there areprobably some people listening
and they're like, I just don'thave a schedule right now.
But I hope this conversationwill prompt them to actually get
a schedule.
After they work with you, thefour months are up and they're
(21:50):
like, I still need some type ofguidance.
Is there any type of add-onservices that you provide, or is
there a way for them to extendthe time that they work with
you?
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
Yes to both.
So if you're just like, well,this is good, but I need the 30
days longer, like I need monthsin here with this hotline, 100%
very understandable.
And if you're like, I know thisis supposed to be my real
schedule, but I don't feel likeI've lived into it yet.
Like I feel like we need a bunchmore reworking.
(22:19):
I'm about to go on maternityleave or moving, like there are
life things coming up within thenext six months.
Great.
Let's just renew and do theentire thing all over again.
Instead of waiting for thetransition to be passed and you
feeling like you're just holdingeverything together by your
fingernails.
Let's meet you and hold youthrough that transition.
SPEAKER_02 (22:40):
You have mastered this, you've figured it out.
But looking back, what issomething that you wish you
would have discovered soonerthat could have saved you so
much time?
SPEAKER_01 (22:52):
If you're getting frustrated about something,
don't just say, I'm the mom, itneeds to be my job to kind of
suck it up, be the martyr, takethe hit.
No, say, I should not be feelingangry about this.
So what can I do to change it?
SPEAKER_02 (23:07):
If you have someone that's listening and they just
feel like they have to do itall, what advice can you give
them to be able to delegatemore?
SPEAKER_01 (23:16):
This is where I like to use like the five whys.
Why do you think you need to doit all?
What are you afraid of if youstopped doing something?
What do you think that's goingto lead to?
And then keep asking why acouple more times of your
responses so we can uncover someof this layer of your childhood
programming, teenagerprogramming.
Maybe it's when you had yourfirst baby and all the
well-meaning moms in your lifecame around to give their best
(23:38):
advice to you.
This is programming, that'smaking you believe that you have
to do everything.
And we have to fix that becauseyou will not let anyone help
until we do that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:50):
You touched on some really good things.
If someone is listening and theywant to work with you, how can
they get in touch with you?
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Well, you can always go to yornbusylife.com.
That's pretty easy to find.
Just click on the about me andI'll take you right to
everything.
But the first place I'd probablysend to you, if you're ready to
clear your too much going onplate, is I want to banish the
pressure from yourhigh-performing to-do list
because you've got all thesethings going on as a mom.
So let's take down the pressurevalve in your time management.
(24:18):
It's an exclusive audio feedcalled Time Back Seekers for
Workout Home Moms, just sevenepisodes.
Hit play.
Because I don't want you to livewith burnout or even flirt with
burnout while you're trying tobalance being a present mom to
your kids and hitting everythingon the work and goals and
ambition side.
So if you're ready to find outwhat to quit, download that
instant access audio feed, TimeBack Seekers for Workout Home
(24:40):
Moms.
SPEAKER_02 (24:42):
If someone is listening, what is something
that you can share with them tohelp them to be able to journey
towards this balance that youhave mastered so well?
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
Fix the first thing that's bugging you every single
day.
So that supper cleanup,something about the getting the
kids ready to go to school,maybe it's client boundaries.
Fix one thing that you feelresentful, annoyed, frustrated,
bugged by, and then do thatevery single week.
You won't recognize your lifesix months from now.
SPEAKER_02 (25:13):
When it comes to boundaries, for those that may
be listening that don't have anyin place, what's one step that
they can take to start to createand implement their boundaries?
SPEAKER_01 (25:23):
I'm gonna guess it's gonna need to be something to do
as tech, since whether it's yourclients getting a hold of you
through notifications popping upon your phone or the fact you're
spending too much time on thesocial media scroll hole and you
need to put the phone down.
Decide what you think the best,healthiest thing would be to do,
whichever device it is that'scausing the problem, whichever
app, and then see if you canjust do one thing.
(25:44):
Like you don't have to go coldturkey 100%, oh, I'm such a
minimalist, I'm so wonderfulabout this.
But what is one thing you couldswitch about that?
Do you need to delete somethingoff your phone, send
notifications only to email, notto your phone?
Do you need to say, I can onlylog into this on my desktop
during working hours and not inthe evenings?
And in the evenings, I'm gonnamake sure I'm doing XYZ with the
(26:05):
family instead so that I reallycan't be on the phone.
Like, change one thing aboutthose internet boundaries or the
social media boundaries, and youwill see your happiness go up.
Even if there's a little bit ofa bumpy thing, you're like,
shoot, I don't have any podcaststo listen to, I don't have any
library books to read, I don'thave any games I like to play,
and we aren't doing anything funthis evening.
Okay, well then that's what youactually need to fix.
(26:25):
So you can smoothly switch fromI was scrolling on Instagram to,
oh, I would love to go to thestore and find something to
knit, but I need to know whatstore I could go to.
SPEAKER_02 (26:36):
Parenting can be very hard.
It can be overwhelming.
What do you hope that sharingyour story will do for some
parents that may feel likethey're in a tough spot right
now?
SPEAKER_01 (26:48):
I hope it gives you the grace, the courage to see
that I'm in a place that manypeople consider too busy, too
full.
The five kids, they're all inhomeschool this year.
That wasn't true other years.
But the college mountainteenagers, I've got the ones
learning to read.
It's okay.
You can do this.
If my life sounds way harderthan yours, it's pretty easy for
(27:11):
me.
Or so it can be for you.
Like play that comparison game.
Well, I only have one kid.
Well, I only have three andthey're all in school and
they're all all the same school.
Or, well, I have two and they'vegot therapy and they've got
appointments, but it's not five.
Like at least it's not five.
So look at that and then say,well, if she can do that with
(27:31):
five and six years of practice,what could I do with five or six
weeks of practice?
Like, don't set yourself up tolook like me with that
expectation.
But what could I outsource to mykids this week?
What could I stop doing and haveInstacart deliver next week?
What things can I do?
Because I know a mom who's gotfive kids and they're under
(27:52):
24-7, and she's not frazzledout.
So I know it's got to bepossible for me too.
SPEAKER_02 (27:57):
What would Grace look like for a mom that's
trying to navigate this journey?
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
I think Grace is adapting to your capacity every
day.
Back down to-do list.
You're like, I'm on my cycle.
I just had a bunch of family intown and I am shot.
The kids are sick and whiningand grumpy.
And I don't feel like I haveenergy to get to the three
things.
Well, just do one, just do two,and trust that you're going to
(28:24):
have the capacity to get to themlater, maybe in the weekend,
maybe next week.
Maybe you're like, actually, Idon't need to be doing these at
all.
They're not due till next month.
Let yourself ebb and flow, evenwhen you think you've got the
perfect plan set up.
That's what grace means as anenergetic woman.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
You have brought so much wisdom.
We don't have to do it perfect.
We just have to have a plan andexecute it.
As we are about to wrap up, whatis one message or a piece of
advice that you would like toleave with listeners on how they
can go forth and do the bestthat they can in their
parenting?
SPEAKER_01 (28:59):
Stop listening to the you just need more
discipline crowd.
Instead, tell all those girlsthere's a problem, it's their
system because it doesn't workfor you.
And doing do the things thatactually pick your life.
Whether that's I can only workin the 30-minute time chunks per
day, or whether you're one ofthe deep work girls.
So remember, they're theproblem, it's not you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:22):
That is really good advice because sometimes when
life is hectic, people swear youdon't have discipline or you're
lazy, but sometimes it's just alot, and we don't have the tools
in our toolbox to be able tochange.
That is going to free a lot ofpeople.
So, Alyssa, again, thank you somuch.
Thank you, Brooks.
(29:42):
My pleasure.
SPEAKER_00 (29:46):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your host orto book a coaching session,
visit www.brooksdemming.com.
Until next time, rise.
You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where
faith, family, and businesscollide.
Hosted by Brooke Demick, Doctorof Business Administration,
Business Coach, and ResilienceExpert.
Each episode features real-lifeconversations to help
entrepreneurs like you buildresilience and lead with
(00:22):
confidence.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Many work from home, they feel buried under their
weight of chores, childcare, andbusiness tasks, wondering if
it's even possible to keep up.
Today's conversation willdemonstrate how effective time
management, mindset shifts, anda bit of creativity can
transform chaos into balance.
My guest today is Alyssa Wolf, atime management coach,
entrepreneur, and homeschoolingmom of five.
(00:58):
What started as a way to beatboredom after having baby number
five turned into a thrivingconsulting business, helping
work-from-home moms reclaim timeand joy.
Alyssa, welcome to Off Balance.
Thank you, Rex.
Thank you so much for joining metoday.
I am so excited because I canremember when I had my daughter
(01:20):
and I was working from home.
I was so overwhelmed.
I wish you were around 20 yearsago when I gave birth.
Before we dive into ourconversation, can you introduce
yourself and tell listeners alittle bit more about who you
are and what it is that you do?
SPEAKER_01 (01:37):
Sure.
So I'm going to take your timeback, coach, for any mom that's
working from home.
So whether that's corporate andyou're flexible or you're
actually an entrepreneur runningyour own business, I'm going to
help you get control of yourschedule.
So not in a how many meetings doI need to take and what does my
boss want kind of a way, but howdo I have time for the kids?
Because that's probably why youare working remote or from home
(01:58):
with your business.
Plus, have the time for myself,my husband, getting all the work
stuff, managing the house, allthat sort of thing without going
crazy.
Because I don't believe you needto live the too busy hamster
wheel kind of life.
SPEAKER_02 (02:12):
What uh prompted you to even start consulting in this
area?
SPEAKER_01 (02:18):
I looked at the basic business thing of, you
know, you need to help peoplebased off your strengths.
And time, time management wasalways something that came super
easily to me.
And I was running my life withfive kids in a homeschool and
without feeling stressedday-to-day, which I know is
really unusual.
Any mom I talked to, she had twoor more kids, she's just like,
busy.
(02:38):
How are you?
Busy.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
That's interesting.
So when it comes to timemanagement and the juggling
day-to-day tasks, whether it bewith your children or running a
home, can you explain what yourprocess looks like in practice?
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
Sure.
So I think everyone through likescheduling mindset and
delegation.
So scheduling for me is that'syour calendar and schedule, but
it's also your to-do list andit's your self-care.
If we don't put that on theschedule, it's probably not
going to happen.
And mindset is rewiring thingsbecause maybe you have some
worthiness blocks, some stories,how your parents raised you and
(03:16):
you're bringing those roles intoyour current life.
And that's causing you to notaccept help because you feel
like the mother should be theone who has to do everything
around the house.
Or maybe you feel like, well,it's okay to have a side hustle,
but it's not allowed to be afull-time thing that makes a lot
of money.
So stuff like that, we need tofix those.
So you can actually let yourselfstep into the time of freedom
(03:36):
that we're creating and notself-sabotage.
And then lastly is delegation,because of course it is true you
can't do it all, but if you canbuy back some of your time,
whether that's giving chores toyour kids or literally buying it
back, there are so many thingsaround the house and in your
business you do not need to bedoing.
Do not require someone with adriver's license, you know,
knife skills, the exactmessaging that only you know how
(03:59):
to do for your audience, or youon camera.
There's so much there that wecan get rid of off your plate.
SPEAKER_02 (04:04):
Yeah, you mentioned self-sabotage and you also
talked about guilt.
So for mothers that arelistening, how can they begin to
delegate or begin to prioritizetheir self or even, you know,
just ask for help withoutfeeling guilty?
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
I think first you just need to have the time
carved out to do that.
Because if you feel like you'vegotten a long to-do list, then
you're somehow supposed to haveself-care on top of that.
It's not gonna happen.
You know that.
So we need to cut down thatto-do list, make it manageable.
And part of the way we do thatis by getting really good at
asking yourself, do I haveenergy for this today?
(04:42):
And if you have to say no to sixseparate things in your to-do
list because you already tookthree, and those were kind of
the big rocks for the day andyou the use of dollar, that's
when you can say, okay, if ithas to get done today, if those
six things have to get donetoday, I need to ask someone
else for help.
Well, probably not all sixactually need to get done today.
And then you can push them offand make the decisions another
(05:02):
day if your brain is all tappedup, but get really, really good
at saying, yes, but how muchcapacity do I have?
And as soon as you hit that, youstop.
Anything else someone else needsto be doing.
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
That is good advice.
And you talked about the timemanagement aspect.
What are some other practicalstrategies that can help moms
feel unbus?
SPEAKER_01 (05:23):
If you can bucket out your day for like this is
work, this is the time I'mspending with the kids, this is
when I'm prepping supper, thenyou're not feeling that constant
tug of war between here, I'manswering clients on my phone
and my kids talking to me at thesame time.
And I'm supposed to be givingattention to him, but I'm really
going to talk to the clients,kind of a thing.
So it really helps to justseparate things out.
(05:44):
Like, don't play themultitasking game.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Okay, so let's get let me make sure I understand.
I know sometimes when you workfrom home, you can overlap when
you should be working or whenyou should be doing home things.
So when a client works with you,you compartmentalize.
SPEAKER_01 (06:01):
Yes.
Once they give me the kind ofbrain dump of this is all the
stuff going on in my schedule,here are my heart to stops,
here's my business model, here'show many kids I have, school,
all that sort of a thing.
I come in and help themcompartmentalize so we can say,
okay, you're feeling bad thatyou weren't spending time with
your three-year-old who's athome half the day with you.
Right.
What else were you doing in thattime period?
(06:23):
If we can delegate threedifferent chores off your plate
and two different businessthings so that you don't have
work to do in that time period,then you're spending time with
the three-year-old.
Then you're feeling like you'rebeing a good mother and you're
still making the money in thebusiness because you're still
hitting all the metrics on thatside.
SPEAKER_02 (06:38):
You started your business out of boredom.
What did the early season teachyou about time management,
energy, and purpose?
SPEAKER_01 (06:47):
It was kind of the testing zone.
I had to go through that andsay, wow, I can't make it
through to 3 p.m.
I have to have a break.
Like, I can barely make it to12.
So I learned a lot about givingmyself the breaks I needed
instead of waiting until the endof the day when his mom's like,
okay, done with the work, donewith the second shift.
Oh no, I need to talk to mypartner.
Okay, I guess that's break time.
Like, well, no, not for all ofus.
(07:10):
We need help a little sooner inthe day.
And I didn't want my kids to beraised in that kind of hustle
and busy culture, even if it wasjust the being at home with
them.
Because you can always findanother to take your kids to,
another Pinterest cleaningroutine that absolutely must get
done, a new recipe to try.
I didn't want to be like that.
I wanted to feel like my dayswere spacious.
I had enough time for hobbies,for me, for all of that.
(07:32):
So I built that in right fromthe get-go.
SPEAKER_02 (07:36):
That is very interesting because when you
talk about using brakes as ameans to turbocharge, sometimes
I know for moms, we canliterally take breaks, but we're
still doing stuff for otherpeople.
So can you unpack for us what itwill look like in a mom schedule
to actually take a break forourselves?
SPEAKER_01 (07:55):
Anything that's focused on you that contributes
to your well-being andrecharging.
Imagine you've got a battery andit's the mommy battery, and you
know, you're kind of blinkingred.
What would fill you up?
Is it going for a walk, but ithas to be by yourself, not
taking the kids along to givethem the fresh air?
Is it exercise or does that feellike another should?
(08:15):
Can you do journaling or mindsetwork?
Does that feel like somethingfor you?
You're just, you know, gettingall these thoughts out so you
don't feel stressed and youdon't unload on your husband the
minute he comes home from work.
What about, for example, doing ahobby?
Even if it takes, you know, anhour plus, maybe it's like
sewing your quilting.
These aren't one of these, youknow, five or ten minutes and
then you drop them kind ofthings.
(08:36):
What about deep hobby time?
What can you do that if you cameback from it, you would feel
super energized and ready to goagain about your day?
Not, oh, well, I'm sitting down.
I may as well fold laundromaland listen to your podcast.
No, your brain reads that I'mfolding laundry.
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
When you first started this, what resources and
tools help you the most?
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
I was a big fan of online education.
So I got all the low-costcourses I could find targeted to
what I needed.
So like I had a WordPresswebsite, I got a course on
WordPress, so I hadn't a clue ofthat kind of a thing.
Like, what are basic businessmodels?
How do you write nurturesequences?
How do you show up on camera?
What do you do if you're scaredof that?
You know, learning practicing,that's what helps me get over
(09:24):
the hungry.
SPEAKER_02 (10:16):
Now that you have everything balanced and you're
able to successfully work fromhome, you're able to spend time
with your kids.
Has your definition of successchanged because of this?
SPEAKER_01 (10:27):
No, I think it's the same one.
It's just you keep givingyourself bigger goals, like
bigger metrics to hit.
And then on the parenting side,of course, success might change
slightly when you update it foreach of your kids' seasons.
Like I've got high schoolers whoare going off to college.
So success for them looks alittle different than my
six-year-old who's learning howto read.
SPEAKER_02 (10:47):
This is so interesting.
How do you apply the principleacross your business and your
family?
Do you have the same strategiesfor your family as well as your
business?
SPEAKER_01 (10:58):
Yeah, pretty much the same thing.
So my teenagers will kind oflaugh to themselves if they hear
me talking to a client, like,yeah, we knew all that five
years ago, Mom.
I'm like, see, you'll have amoney up.
SPEAKER_02 (11:10):
If uh someone is listening and they're like, oh
my God, I am struggling and Ireally want to work with you.
Can you walk us through theprocess?
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
So we'll probably DM a bit, email, see what container
you're in the exact right fitfor.
But my meeting program is a donefor you offer because you don't
need more stuff in your life.
Kind of outsource that where doall the puzzle pieces fit about
your day?
That's what's stressed me out.
So outsource that to me becauseit's fun for me.
And then we're going to take youthrough a four-month process
(11:39):
where I create all that for you.
And then I don't say, well,here's what I think the perfect
schedule makeover is.
You know, makeovers go realwell.
I say, here's what I think agood starting point is to start
hitting your priorities andgiving you the time.
Now tell me what means tweaking,because sometimes when your
coach hands you something back,you're like, oh wait, I totally
forgot to tell you.
My husband always has this workmeeting at 4 p.m.
(12:01):
when that wasn't in theschedule.
Oh, I'm doing this volunteercommitment.
Oh, actually, I'm completely outof energy then.
I cannot record reels.
So we give you time to go backand say, change this, this,
this, and this.
So it is truly what you need,not what I looking from the
outside, say, well, that oughtto work.
You need that for super duperpersonalized approach.
(12:21):
And once we have that, then wecan do the mindset rewiring
session, saying, okay, imagineyourself living out this day
next week.
What are all those buts, ifs, ohwell, maybe hesitations that are
kind of going to come up?
So we do a targeted, intuitivesession about that.
And then we'll give you 30 daysof support.
So you can just be constantlysitting there messaging me, ah,
(12:42):
my kid did this.
Ah, my kid got sent home sick.
No, I can't work.
So my perfect schedule does nogood.
What am I doing with my stackedup to-do list?
Everything that's going on,because I don't want to send you
off into the sunset with a newsketch.
You need to be embodying it,living it day to day.
It's like training bills with methere to help you adjust.
You don't just live into thisnew thing instantly because a
(13:04):
coach says, here, I think thisis the best strategy for you,
right?
You need some practice in a safeplace for it.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
What's one of the common misconceptions that
people have about timemanagement and what this will
look like in their day-to-daypractice?
SPEAKER_01 (13:22):
This is one of my favorite questions because most
people think it's all aboutgetting Uber efficient.
So that I'm going to come in andsay, Oh, you need to be super
type A, you need to get way moreproductive, in other words, cram
50 things in your day instead of20, that'll fix everything about
your to-do list.
Whereas I'm coming the completeopposite direction, saying, no,
no, no, your 20-addem to-do listis overwhelming you.
Let's cut it down to seven.
(13:42):
And if that's overwhelming, youwill cut it down to five.
We need to fix the to-do list.
We don't fix you.
We fix the to-dos.
They're what's putting pressureon you.
SPEAKER_02 (13:52):
I can imagine that people will think that it's
about fixing themselves and nottheir actual schedule or their
to-do list.
So if someone is listening, howdoes your space create a space
where it's no judgment?
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
I'm a big believer in personality theory.
So the way we're applying thisis the time management saying,
you are the way you are, likethe way God created you.
So instead of fitting you intothe mold of the personality
advice, you know, just do it,keep hustling, get more
discipline.
We're saying, no, no, we startwith you.
What is best for you and yourneeds?
So this goes beyond the familylife season.
It's going, you as the woman,what are all the things that
(14:27):
have never worked for you whenyou were single and you could be
as productive as you wanted?
Like there's some stuff thatnever did work.
So how much worse is it now withthe house and the kids and the
husband if you're trying to dothose very same strategies?
You've got to completely rebuildfrom the ground up with someone
who says, Oh, well, we can tryit this way.
We can try it this way.
(14:47):
There's no judgment attached toit.
It's simply, well, that was thewrong strategy for you.
Let's find it better.
SPEAKER_02 (14:54):
What are some strategies that people can use
to start shifting their mindsettowards time management,
self-care, and just trying tobalance their lives?
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
If you're really anti-mindset, what I'd start you
off with is don't my kids desertan emotionally regulated mother?
You know, the person who doesn'tsnap at them, doesn't yell at
them, is there for thememotionally.
Well, okay, we want that.
So how are you gonna get there?
It's not by telling yourself notto yell at them, right?
It's you have to be calmed downinternally enough, not have a
(15:24):
bunch of things going off inyour brain, like, ah, this fire,
that fire, the other fire, needto deal with it.
Because that's what causes youto react to your kids and snap
at them in the moment.
Whereas if those things werehandled, if your brain's kind of
feeling calm, yes, you would beable to listen to them and take
that extra second to think andrespond the way you want to
respond as the parent.
(15:45):
So anything that gets you out ofthat reactive frazzle state is
going to help you with yourmindset, whether that's that
walk, you can kind of rant toyour phone notes, maybe it's the
journaling, since that is aclassic technique.
Maybe you need stuff more likeEFT or breath work.
Find something that gets themental frazzle out of your brain
and then practice it daily forat least 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:08):
You just talked about frustrated, snapping.
What are some other signs that amom listening can recognize if
it's time for her to bringsomeone in to help her
facilitate change?
SPEAKER_01 (16:19):
If stuff is constantly going on in your
schedule, and by that I meanlike you made the plan for the
week and you're like, stuff isalways not fitting in, like it's
overflowing, and this has becomeconstant.
Like this isn't just a busy day.
This is my new normal.
Or you there's always the sametime of day, you are getting
frustrated because no one elseis helping you clean up the
(16:39):
kitchen, package the leftovers,wipe down the counters, you
know.
Those are signs you need to takeaction.
It's not a one-off.
See, we as moms, we like to tellourselves, oh, this is just a
one-off.
It's just a busy season.
It's like, no, you see apattern, you need to fix it.
SPEAKER_02 (16:54):
I know sometimes mom guilt, it can be heavy,
especially for entrepreneurs.
What helped you release the tugof war in your life between your
business and your kids?
SPEAKER_01 (17:05):
Having those time blocks to spend with the kids
because it's really hard to keepguilting yourself if you're
like, but I already spent 15minutes when I went with that
kid and that kid and that kidand that kid and that kid.
And we're doing a family outingthis weekend, and they know they
can come to me whenever they'vegot something else going on at
school or their friends.
In fact, I have extra time builtin with them for that.
(17:25):
Then you can kind of see, oh,okay, so it's Pinterest mom that
says I should spend an hour witheach kid.
Yeah, that might be unrealistic.
But you have to actually havethe time in your schedule and it
not getting pushed out by otherone-off things, you know, that
whole, oh, I'm too busy, so Ipushed off the quality time to
the kid.
You have to actually be doing itevery single day and week.
And then that's when you can belike, oh, I think this mom guilt
(17:48):
is just false guilt because I dohave a good relationship with
them.
I am spending time with apartner, right?
You have any of the work goals,so it's perfectly fine working
this number of hours a week.
SPEAKER_02 (18:00):
When it comes to the time blocks, when you work with
parents, are the time blocksstructured based on their
particular situation?
SPEAKER_01 (18:08):
100%.
Like I don't come in and say,oh, I think you ought to have a
three-hour work span here, oroh, I'm sure you could only
manage 30 minutes.
I let them tell me.
And then I might make asuggestion like it looks like
you're spending four hours onhouse cleaning stuff here.
Why is it taking four hours?
And you still have more housecleaning time blocks later in
the week.
So I can push back and say,like, what's going on here?
(18:31):
And is that actually all you'redoing, or are you multitasking
again?
SPEAKER_02 (18:36):
Sometimes when you have coaching programs or
consulting programs, it's almostlike a one-size-fit-all.
So I am so glad that yourclients have individualized
programs to help them to besuccessful.
When you decided to go intoconsulting, what made you decide
to do it individualized versus agroup approach?
SPEAKER_01 (18:59):
Yeah.
Well, I was someone who was biginto like self-help, read the
books and stuff, but it occurredto me, if just a book or course
was all that we needed, like wewould all be these amazing,
productive, next level versionsof ourselves.
There is no way to contact theauthor, the New York Times
bestseller, and say, Iunderstand your principle, but
(19:19):
how would you apply this to mysituation?
My kid does this, therefore Ican't follow your principle to
the T.
How do you personalize that?
You need some form of accessbecause absolutely the
principles are the same.
Like there's nothing wrong withthat author's principles.
You need the principles, butit's the personalization where
the river meets the road and yousee that actual transformation
to where you're living theunicorn version of the work from
(19:41):
home life, you know, the pinchme one, not the just mine must
be the problem.
It works for everyone else, butnot me one.
SPEAKER_02 (19:48):
How would this program work for moms that may
be listening and they're like,this sounds great, but I have
autistic children or I have achild that has disabilities.
How would that work for them?
Or take that into account.
SPEAKER_01 (20:00):
I have autistic kids as well.
So not only the personalexperience, but it's focused on
what do you need?
Maybe you need a ton of extratime during the day to deal with
meltdowns, or you cannot haveclient calls at rigid times
because you don't know what yourson's temper is going to be like
right at that time.
You have a ton of extraappointments.
I've had clients with that, thattheir schedule is thick with all
(20:22):
the therapies and themedications.
We're just working with whatyou've got and saying, these are
your priorities.
Of course, your kids are a hugepart of your priority list.
What can we do around that?
So you feel like you're still awhole woman.
You don't have to give up yourambitions, you don't have to
give up your family, you don'thave to give up the extra level
of care that your kids need andstill make this work.
So we get really ruthless atcutting out all the stuff that
(20:44):
does not belong in that prioritylist.
SPEAKER_02 (20:47):
Alyssa, some people are listening, look, they're
listening, they're like, wedon't have a schedule.
What harm can it cause for afamily to not have a schedule?
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
That is when you get the perennial lateness, or I
thought you were taking him tobaseball practice.
I'm not.
I've got this work meeting, orI'm at the grocery store.
I literally cannot come home anddeal with it right now.
And now the kids can be late andget in trouble with the coach
and all these separate things.
Like you've got to havesomething, even if it's not this
rigid schedule, some sort offamily calendar, you know,
(21:21):
tracking with everything that'sgoing on, especially if you have
a lot of kids or a lot ofactivities that they're involved
in.
SPEAKER_02 (21:27):
I can remember we did not have a schedule for the
longest.
We were literally just trying tofigure it out day by day.
I can imagine that there areprobably some people listening
and they're like, I just don'thave a schedule right now.
But I hope this conversationwill prompt them to actually get
a schedule.
After they work with you, thefour months are up and they're
(21:50):
like, I still need some type ofguidance.
Is there any type of add-onservices that you provide, or is
there a way for them to extendthe time that they work with
you?
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
Yes to both.
So if you're just like, well,this is good, but I need the 30
days longer, like I need monthsin here with this hotline, 100%
very understandable.
And if you're like, I know thisis supposed to be my real
schedule, but I don't feel likeI've lived into it yet.
Like I feel like we need a bunchmore reworking.
(22:19):
I'm about to go on maternityleave or moving, like there are
life things coming up within thenext six months.
Great.
Let's just renew and do theentire thing all over again.
Instead of waiting for thetransition to be passed and you
feeling like you're just holdingeverything together by your
fingernails.
Let's meet you and hold youthrough that transition.
SPEAKER_02 (22:40):
You have mastered this, you've figured it out.
But looking back, what issomething that you wish you
would have discovered soonerthat could have saved you so
much time?
SPEAKER_01 (22:52):
If you're getting frustrated about something,
don't just say, I'm the mom, itneeds to be my job to kind of
suck it up, be the martyr, takethe hit.
No, say, I should not be feelingangry about this.
So what can I do to change it?
SPEAKER_02 (23:07):
If you have someone that's listening and they just
feel like they have to do itall, what advice can you give
them to be able to delegatemore?
SPEAKER_01 (23:16):
This is where I like to use like the five whys.
Why do you think you need to doit all?
What are you afraid of if youstopped doing something?
What do you think that's goingto lead to?
And then keep asking why acouple more times of your
responses so we can uncover someof this layer of your childhood
programming, teenagerprogramming.
Maybe it's when you had yourfirst baby and all the
well-meaning moms in your lifecame around to give their best
(23:38):
advice to you.
This is programming, that'smaking you believe that you have
to do everything.
And we have to fix that becauseyou will not let anyone help
until we do that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:50):
You touched on some really good things.
If someone is listening and theywant to work with you, how can
they get in touch with you?
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Well, you can always go to yornbusylife.com.
That's pretty easy to find.
Just click on the about me andI'll take you right to
everything.
But the first place I'd probablysend to you, if you're ready to
clear your too much going onplate, is I want to banish the
pressure from yourhigh-performing to-do list
because you've got all thesethings going on as a mom.
So let's take down the pressurevalve in your time management.
(24:18):
It's an exclusive audio feedcalled Time Back Seekers for
Workout Home Moms, just sevenepisodes.
Hit play.
Because I don't want you to livewith burnout or even flirt with
burnout while you're trying tobalance being a present mom to
your kids and hitting everythingon the work and goals and
ambition side.
So if you're ready to find outwhat to quit, download that
instant access audio feed, TimeBack Seekers for Workout Home
(24:40):
Moms.
SPEAKER_02 (24:42):
If someone is listening, what is something
that you can share with them tohelp them to be able to journey
towards this balance that youhave mastered so well?
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
Fix the first thing that's bugging you every single
day.
So that supper cleanup,something about the getting the
kids ready to go to school,maybe it's client boundaries.
Fix one thing that you feelresentful, annoyed, frustrated,
bugged by, and then do thatevery single week.
You won't recognize your lifesix months from now.
SPEAKER_02 (25:13):
When it comes to boundaries, for those that may
be listening that don't have anyin place, what's one step that
they can take to start to createand implement their boundaries?
SPEAKER_01 (25:23):
I'm gonna guess it's gonna need to be something to do
as tech, since whether it's yourclients getting a hold of you
through notifications popping upon your phone or the fact you're
spending too much time on thesocial media scroll hole and you
need to put the phone down.
Decide what you think the best,healthiest thing would be to do,
whichever device it is that'scausing the problem, whichever
app, and then see if you canjust do one thing.
(25:44):
Like you don't have to go coldturkey 100%, oh, I'm such a
minimalist, I'm so wonderfulabout this.
But what is one thing you couldswitch about that?
Do you need to delete somethingoff your phone, send
notifications only to email, notto your phone?
Do you need to say, I can onlylog into this on my desktop
during working hours and not inthe evenings?
And in the evenings, I'm gonnamake sure I'm doing XYZ with the
(26:05):
family instead so that I reallycan't be on the phone.
Like, change one thing aboutthose internet boundaries or the
social media boundaries, and youwill see your happiness go up.
Even if there's a little bit ofa bumpy thing, you're like,
shoot, I don't have any podcaststo listen to, I don't have any
library books to read, I don'thave any games I like to play,
and we aren't doing anything funthis evening.
Okay, well then that's what youactually need to fix.
(26:25):
So you can smoothly switch fromI was scrolling on Instagram to,
oh, I would love to go to thestore and find something to
knit, but I need to know whatstore I could go to.
SPEAKER_02 (26:36):
Parenting can be very hard.
It can be overwhelming.
What do you hope that sharingyour story will do for some
parents that may feel likethey're in a tough spot right
now?
SPEAKER_01 (26:48):
I hope it gives you the grace, the courage to see
that I'm in a place that manypeople consider too busy, too
full.
The five kids, they're all inhomeschool this year.
That wasn't true other years.
But the college mountainteenagers, I've got the ones
learning to read.
It's okay.
You can do this.
If my life sounds way harderthan yours, it's pretty easy for
(27:11):
me.
Or so it can be for you.
Like play that comparison game.
Well, I only have one kid.
Well, I only have three andthey're all in school and
they're all all the same school.
Or, well, I have two and they'vegot therapy and they've got
appointments, but it's not five.
Like at least it's not five.
So look at that and then say,well, if she can do that with
(27:31):
five and six years of practice,what could I do with five or six
weeks of practice?
Like, don't set yourself up tolook like me with that
expectation.
But what could I outsource to mykids this week?
What could I stop doing and haveInstacart deliver next week?
What things can I do?
Because I know a mom who's gotfive kids and they're under
(27:52):
24-7, and she's not frazzledout.
So I know it's got to bepossible for me too.
SPEAKER_02 (27:57):
What would Grace look like for a mom that's
trying to navigate this journey?
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
I think Grace is adapting to your capacity every
day.
Back down to-do list.
You're like, I'm on my cycle.
I just had a bunch of family intown and I am shot.
The kids are sick and whiningand grumpy.
And I don't feel like I haveenergy to get to the three
things.
Well, just do one, just do two,and trust that you're going to
(28:24):
have the capacity to get to themlater, maybe in the weekend,
maybe next week.
Maybe you're like, actually, Idon't need to be doing these at
all.
They're not due till next month.
Let yourself ebb and flow, evenwhen you think you've got the
perfect plan set up.
That's what grace means as anenergetic woman.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
You have brought so much wisdom.
We don't have to do it perfect.
We just have to have a plan andexecute it.
As we are about to wrap up, whatis one message or a piece of
advice that you would like toleave with listeners on how they
can go forth and do the bestthat they can in their
parenting?
SPEAKER_01 (28:59):
Stop listening to the you just need more
discipline crowd.
Instead, tell all those girlsthere's a problem, it's their
system because it doesn't workfor you.
And doing do the things thatactually pick your life.
Whether that's I can only workin the 30-minute time chunks per
day, or whether you're one ofthe deep work girls.
So remember, they're theproblem, it's not you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:22):
That is really good advice because sometimes when
life is hectic, people swear youdon't have discipline or you're
lazy, but sometimes it's just alot, and we don't have the tools
in our toolbox to be able tochange.
That is going to free a lot ofpeople.
So, Alyssa, again, thank you somuch.
Thank you, Brooks.
(29:42):
My pleasure.
SPEAKER_00 (29:46):
Thanks for listening.
Please rate this episode andshare it with your family and
friends.
To learn more about your host orto book a coaching session,
visit www.brooksdemming.com.
Until next time, rise.
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