March 11, 2024 • 45 mins
Nathan takes a turn leading this episode of Oft Off Topic with a nostalgic journey to Eternia. Brace yourselves for the first part of the epic story of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe! Learn where his iconic name came from and how the audience missed the point. It's a trip down memory lane, packed with the lore and legacy of an action figure line that grew into a cultural phenomenon.
We begin with He-man's evolution from child's drawing to toys, comics and glorious emergence as a cartoon TV star. We compare the difference between his original story to the '80s cartoon, noting the changes and unique elements that both mediums brought to the Masters of the Universe universe. And of course, who could forget about She-Ra? We take a brief look into the significance of He-Man's twin sister and the impact she had, providing girls with an action-heroine to call their own during a time when gender-inclusive play wasn't so common.
Ending on a high note, we dissect the campy charm and bizarre moments of the "Masters of the Universe" film, chuckling at the cheesy effects, the budgetary issues, as well as the post-credits scene that promised us a sequel we're still waiting for. Collectors and nostalgia-seekers alike will appreciate our trip through Eternia's history and the personal stories of memorabilia that turned us into lifelong fans.
Stay tuned for more, as we've got future episodes lined up to chat about the franchise's modern incarnations, a dive into the "Death of Superman," and even a dash of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Feel free to check out our website for links to our YouTube channel and more!
https://oftofftopic.com/
Our host Nathan also does art in addition to this podcast, including having is own sticker store. Please check it out and purchase anything that strikes your fancy.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/stickersbytownsend
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Thanks for listening and stay tuned for more Oft Off Topic!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nate (00:03):
He-Man, the Masters of the Universe.
This time I'm telling storiesand stuff, and Sean must listen.
I've tied him to a chair and Ipunch him in the face, so he's
listening to He-Man Repeatedly,I'm in great danger.
Shaun (00:14):
People, please listen and like and subscribe, otherwise
he'll do bad things to me.
Bad things, it's funny.
Nate (00:19):
I actually suggested this and Sean's like what should we
do?
I'm like He-Man.
He's like okay, I don't feellike doing that.
I'm like okay, and then finallyI'm like I'm doing He-Man.
Shaun (00:27):
I'm taking it, I'm going to say I'm going to see you in
six, nine, and there's one otheryou want to do too.
Nate (00:32):
Eventually that's a Star Trek, star Trek specifically
deep six nine, and I'm going totry to lower the F-bombs.
Shaun (00:38):
But I just failed already .
Yeah, it's, I think.
Let's see.
Usually, when you say I'm goingto stop doing F-bombs, you make
it on average 20 seconds, Ithink, before you throw one out
yeah.
I just it's whatever.
Okay, here we go.
It is who I am, it is part ofmy essence.
Nate (00:58):
Me, they must get out, they must when I'm at work
though, like when I'm, when I goto work, I'm actually in public
.
I don't have that issue, butI've been working remote for two
years plus and I don't centermyself around my family either,
so I just don't.
Yeah, I have very littlepractice of not catching myself.
Shaun (01:17):
Yeah, so now there's just a constant string of F bombs at
the computer monitor all daylong while you're at work.
Nate (01:22):
Yeah.
I mean but yeah, anyway, I'llbe working in public soon enough
, so I probably should likereally work on that.
Shaun (01:27):
Yeah, it's, it's the public down in Kentucky.
They're used to the F bombs.
Okay, say Jesus afterwards.
Anyways, jesus afterwards.
Okay, here we go.
All right, let's go.
Nate (01:39):
The story of He-Man begins back in 1976, two years before
I was born.
The CA Matilda time, roryWagoner I love that.
Wagoner is like W-A-G-G-O-N-E-R.
Wagoner, wagoner, wagoner yeah,that's more.
He-man, wagoner, that does.
Wagoner Made a very, verystupid decision.
The opportunity to make toysfor an upcoming sci-fi movie
(02:01):
came across his desk.
He took issue with a seventyfive thousand dollar license fee
they wanted, so he passed on it.
Today that's about sevenmillion dollars, but the sci-fi
movie you passed on was StarWars.
Shaun (02:12):
Yep, I figured it was.
Once you sit in 1977 andpassing on the licensing thing,
Right.
Nate (02:17):
And, of course, what happened happened?
Wagoner.
Wagoner had a ton of egos face.
Shaun (02:21):
It was desperate to fix his mistake and his wife would
never leave him alone about itfor the rest of their marriage.
Nate (02:25):
Can you imagine just like it is?
People walking down thehallways is giving the eyes like
man Star Wars?
Shaun (02:33):
People just constantly go to people like you know.
I would like to be able to askto borrow money off of you now,
but you blew it.
Nate (02:39):
It's like why are you like rereading my mail that I've
written Like I don't know?
Your decision making is not toogreat.
Shaun (02:45):
You see that your track record, and it's not great man.
Nate (02:49):
So, trying to get his group back, mattel launched.
The one missed after another.
They kept on trying todifferentiate and this didn't
take.
After some brain brainstorming,they concluded that simplicity
was best and decided to go formore generic hero designer Mark
Taylor looked through some ofhis older work, including some
drawings, and made him a kid.
For inspiration, taylor foundsoldier, a spaceman and a
barbarian and submitted them toMattel designer Roger Sweet, who
(03:11):
then pitched to Mattel and his2005 book Mastering the Universe
, he man and the Rise and Fallof a Billion Dollar Idea, sweet
said that I'm quoting now.
The only way I was going to havea chance to sell this to Wagner
was to make three 3D models,big ones.
I glued a big Jim a big Jimfigure, which is another Mattel
toy line into a battle actionpose, and I add a lot of clay to
(03:33):
his body.
I then made Pastor Cass made,and these three prototypes,
which I presented in 1980,brought he man to existence.
I simply explained that it wasa powerful figure that could be
taken anywhere and dropped atany context, because he had a
generic name he man.
So basically, the idea was thathe man is such a dumb name that
he has to give their own uniquename and basically playing John
(03:54):
Doe for barbarians.
Shaun (03:57):
God.
So it was like he man and GuyDude were the last two names,
that they had us options.
Right, right.
Nate (04:03):
It's the most generic.
Shaun (04:04):
We got he man, guy, dude and Person man, I guess Like
what dumb kids go actually usehe man for his real name.
Nate (04:12):
Obviously they're going to replace it with something else.
Shaun (04:14):
Yeah, although I just realized too that, dude, when he
was a little kid it was likedoodling, you know action stars
and barbarians and soldiers.
He might have been a little bitof a gay child.
Huh, a little bit.
I'm a little bit like I'm goingto draw this man called man at
Arms.
He's going to have a hell of amustache, a big arms to hug me
with.
I want to be my daddy.
Nate (04:34):
I remember the cartoon he had a mustache, but the toy he
didn't.
He didn't.
He did have a mustache as acartoon, didn't he?
That's where he had a mustachein the toy.
No, I had a man at arms.
He didn't have it much as a toy.
Ok, this is pausey for a second.
Like must look at man at arms.
Shaun (04:49):
Yeah, I mean I could be totally wrong because I don't
know if I actually had the manat arms toy.
Nate (04:59):
To be honest, yes, he had a mustache, but yeah, if you
look at his toys they're latertoys, but the toy I had did not
have a mustache and he actuallydidn't look anything like the
he-man from the series.
His face is all squished up.
I mean he looks like a freak.
Nope, I've seen the side byside ones.
Shaun (05:12):
Yeah, you're right, he kind of looks like an angry
mushroom headed dwarf thing kindof right.
Nate (05:21):
And then the series came out, he had a big old porn stash
and I'm like, OK, where's?
Where's my man or his pornstash?
Somewhere between the inventionof the toy and the cartoon Tila
was like you know.
Shaun (05:33):
what I like on a man is a mustache, and it was like oh, I
can go with that baby?
Yeah, that's very disappointing.
No mustache he does.
He looks so weird without amustache, Right, as a child I
would have been verydisappointed to be like I want
my porn stash on my guy, Like myparents would be like what did
you see?
Nate (05:50):
And he's just like.
Well, I got him and Ram man ina gay relationship.
Shaun (05:56):
Anyways continue.
The He-Man line launched in1982 called the Masters of the.
Nate (06:02):
Universe was brought a was brought a headache almost
immediately Mattel and Andrew,the agreement with the rights
holders for Conan of Averian1982, the Arnold Schwarzenegger
movie.
They got sued for obvioussimilarities but lost in all
illegal agreements between themwere dissolved.
So you know, they got sued.
While they did the payout, thatdid lose the licensing to the
Conan movie.
I don't know what happened.
I didn't go any further thanthat.
(06:24):
Somewhere, Frank Frazier isstaying in the shadows being
like holding a raise in his hand.
Be like, what about me?
Shaun (06:28):
I deserve something of this, the further controversy
arrived in the form of anger andconcern.
Parents upset companies werenow dedicating whole cartel.
Nate (06:37):
Still in toys versus a two minute commercial.
He-man was by no means the onlyone, but it was lumped in with
his cohorts GI Joe andThundercats.
Shaun (06:50):
Yeah, that was my legal for companies to do at one point
.
Yeah, fcc rules and stuff Yep,how dare you?
Yeah, we can actually thankReagan for getting rid of that
law.
I would have thought every sooften he did some good things.
Yeah, everyone's like yes, Acompromise.
What a compromise Was reachedunder?
Nate (07:05):
the children's television act of 1990.
That said broadcasters couldn'tshow more than 12 minutes of
commercials on children'sprogramming.
But to be honest, that's stilla lot.
Yeah, it is a lot.
That's a 30 minutes long.
Yeah, it shows like 30 minuteslong with commercials like even
less.
Shaun (07:21):
It's like 12 minutes is a long time.
Nate (07:23):
Sometimes a sneaky cartoon is a sneaky commercial.
Shaun (07:33):
It's during the actual episode themselves.
Nate (07:35):
Right.
Shaun (07:36):
Yeah.
Nate (07:36):
Well, that's actually what the man in arms was Men in arms
whole gig was.
He would come on there with anew thing like, hey look, I've
got this now.
By the way, you could buy it atToys Worm.
Shaun (07:46):
Yeah, you like skunkman from this episode.
Well, tell your parents go topay me skunkman or go to hell.
Nate (07:53):
Which is funny because, to my memory, moss man smelled
worse than the skunkman.
Shaun (07:59):
He did.
He had that.
He had a very odd chemicallysmell to him.
I think it's from like the furon him and stuff.
Nate (08:04):
Yeah, so it was just really bad musk to him.
Shaun (08:06):
Yeah, it was just like that.
We were almost like when youget stuff from a team or whatnot
nowadays and you smell like ohGod.
But yeah, skunkman was justpatchouli, which, I mean, isn't
the greatest smell in the world,but it's not bad.
Nate (08:17):
No, it's not.
Shaun (08:18):
Patchouli.
I also remember Moss man 2,that fur rubbed off really fast.
It might have been because Iwas just like a kid, just like
rubbing all over the thing Likeooh fuzzy.
Nate (08:28):
Yeah, I remember he got false spots in a hurry.
Shaun (08:30):
It absolutely did, minded to.
Yeah, sad times Kind of didhave some cool texture to him,
though.
Nate (08:36):
Oh, it really did.
I mean it was very tactile.
I mean, versus the other ones,there's hard plastic.
This guy was like man.
This guy actually has some likeyou know feel to him.
Shaun (08:44):
Yeah, I could rub this on my body and feel funny and sad.
Nate (08:50):
Well, back to the initial release of Master of the
Universe, mattel included a minicomic with each toy they gave a
backstory of our hero or thehero that was involved.
It wasn't the story that weknow now.
The setting was a postapocalyptic world called Eternia
.
The advanced civilization ofthe past had long followed the
war.
It was now.
What was left was like variousvillages and cities that did
(09:11):
seem to know very little of eachother.
One such barbarian tribe heldHe-Man, the strongest barbarian,
who decided to leave foradventure, and as he traveled he
came across a sorceress whogave him a powerful weapons and
outfit and she was like green,kind of like Teela from the back
of the day, had like kind of asnake thing around her, like a
shawl, if you will, and she wasgreen.
(09:31):
In their original drawings thatwas a sorceress, and sorceress
that we know now has the eagleGuys, yep, as he was building
himself a home.
Because why not?
This villain's Scalator foundthe beautiful battle goddess
Teela and kidnapped her.
No backstory, just surprise,here's Scalator, here's Teela.
You know kidnapping Cause, youknow 80s.
(09:52):
Eventually, he-man getsinvolved and fights Scalator,
who has taken Teela to CastleGrayskull for reasons they fight
.
He-man wins Four reasons Fourreasons.
That's the best reason to doanything.
Shaun (10:04):
Reasons Yep, just for reasons why?
Because I can't.
He's gonna stop me.
Nate (10:09):
They fight, He-Man wins Scalator.
Get him next time.
While researching this, Iintended to read the entire
comic line, taking notes as Iwent.
I actually started doing that.
I was like, okay, this one doesthis, this one does this.
And very quickly I was like I'mnot doing this.
It was a realized it was awaste of time, I just don't have
.
I moved on.
Shaun (10:31):
How is the actual quality of them themselves?
Nate (10:33):
That's the thing Now.
Basically, he-man goes to anadventure fighting scout tour
and meets various villains alongthe way.
That's basically what thesemany comics are for.
They weren't for some generaloverview of stories.
Now these comics were actuallycomics you think of, with panels
and word bubbles.
I had fully anticipated to seea low budget 1980s comic with
crap art and crappier dialogue.
(10:53):
Some of these throwaway comicsback in the 80s, they're junk.
Shaun (10:59):
It was literally just like kids are stupid, give them
anything and they'll like it,right.
Nate (11:04):
Well, these are actually more like the little golden
books.
Back in the day there wasactually a pretty decent,
well-drawn image at the top ofthe page.
Beneath that was likeparagraphs describing what was
going on.
No word bubbles, no panels.
You get the idea.
You have seen little goldenpatterns.
I mean seriously they werepretty well drawn, I mean they
actually look pretty.
Shaun (11:23):
I'm actually looking at some of the covers here right
now and it's bringing back a lotof memory.
It's like, yeah, some of thesecovers are cool.
It's like, hey, there's BattleCat looking all badass with
giant claws and everything andthings.
Nate (11:31):
I don't really complain.
I have a scout tour's face.
It looks a little melty, butthat's I mean whatever.
That's a minor quibble.
Otherwise art's actually prettydecent.
But 1982, Deci got ahold of thecharacter in a very limited run
, like three issues.
It was more like a comics, youexpect.
They did this to fill thecharacter out a little bit.
But I didn't really get intothem, I didn't read them, I just
(11:54):
got the information.
But He-Man did have a cameoappearance with some other
properties like Superman, butnever really went anywhere.
He just kind of, hey, Supermanwent to Attorney, they had a
brief interaction and Supermanwent back to his home world and
He-Man said yeah, yeah, justlike one of those standard
crossovers from back in the dayit's like yeah, yeah catch
phrase to each other and makeone like curious joke about each
(12:16):
other, and then we'll be off.
And Superman will never mentionHe-Man.
He-man will never mentionSuperman.
Shaun (12:20):
It's like it never happened, and there's always got
to be one villain from theSuperman world and one villain
from the He-Man world, so it'slike Lex Luthor and Gelator
teaming up or something to do aroster scan Right right.
Nate (12:31):
Well, finally we're.
We're here.
The reason why we all loveHe-Man is the insanely popular
cartoon He-Man and the Master ofthe Universe.
It actually released a littleunder two weeks for my fifth
birthday, september 5th 1983.
They revised and expanded theoriginal backstory even more
from he was a barbarian, he wasstrong, so he went out to kill
things.
My suspicion was to avoid evenmore comparison with Conan,
(12:53):
because they just barely got outof that lawsuit from last time.
So they're like let's toss alittle more in here to really
kind of drive home this is notConan.
Shaun (13:00):
It's like a secret identity kind of thing and you
know right, adam.
Nate (13:04):
As you just said, adam, that He-Man is the alter ego of
Prince Adam of Eternia.
He's a total wimp who liveswith his cowardly tiger cringer.
His father was King Randor,ruler of Eternia.
His mother was a humanastronaut named Captain Marlena
Glenn, who got lost in space.
I do not remember that part.
Yeah, I actually said that,like no further explanation on
that.
(13:24):
Just lost in space and I'mmarried to a king of power.
They really didn't get intothat.
Shaun (13:27):
Maybe that's why they speak English.
Maybe she just like, had thecolonial spirit in her and she's
like you're all speaking mylanguage and have my religions.
Nate (13:33):
now, yeah, I have no memory of that.
You know part of it was like isthat just because I didn't care
?
But I seriously have no memoryof any kind of earth, anything
on Eternia.
Shaun (13:42):
Yeah, neither do I.
I do remember as a kid thinkingthe whole Prince Adam and
cringer thing side story wasstupid and they should have just
stuck with straight He-Man.
But now that you bring it up Isee why.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I was likeso much better if Prince Adam
wasn't even a thing in this.
Nate (13:58):
I do get the idea behind that, like a lot of these
cartoons will put like a childin there.
It's kind of oh see my children, you know you're a child,
children, even transformers.
I remember several transformerslike okay, we have this
intergalactic menace to dealwith.
Come on, timmy, get in mydriver's seat.
Shaun (14:16):
Especially all those Transformers books you'd buy
like the book fairs at school.
Almost all of those were likesome high adventure with like a
12 year old tagging along.
I mean, don't you want like an?
Nate (14:23):
experienced like warrior, Like you like.
So who?
Shaun (14:26):
knows what they're doing.
Nope, we need a kid who can doa Rubik's Cube on page seven
really fast.
So you know Rubik's Cube kidscan relate.
Nate (14:35):
Well, when Prince Adam raised the power of sword, said
by the power of grisco, I havethe power.
I said a way better when hedoes that's not an awful.
I'm rolling with it best, not anawful that's all agree that was
the worst, ever worst teamimpression of all time.
(15:02):
Anyway.
Lighting, explosion.
Lighting explodes around himlike Highlander, and the image
of Castle Grayskull would appearin the background all the time
in players in the background.
Right, you're like like 80s,but and he?
He uses a rippling muscles tocombat the blue evil.
Jack's gold face, villainSkeletor no news.
He man's true identity, exceptfor the sorceress, has weapon
(15:23):
masters, man and arms andincompetent floating wizard
thing, orco and whoever theytold right, there's what the I
remember orco.
Shaun (15:32):
I would never trust that man with a secret or trust him,
god.
He kind of annoyed me, it'slike.
Well, I could cause andsolution to half the problems of
the show exactly actually likethe next thing.
Nate (15:41):
I say orco is the wrench they needed to keep things
interesting.
Are things going too well inyour story?
Bam orco, yep, there is.
Oh no, his spell.
Turn the villagers inside out,go get your sword, prince Adam,
and fix it.
I mean cuz?
Shaun (15:53):
yeah, it was just the way Prince Adam fixes it, just
right around, just like puttingthem all out of misery.
Nate (15:58):
Sorry, that's exactly this is me fixing it.
This town never existed.
Uses power, uses like royalpower to just wipe it off the
map, just like okay, it nevergoes like oopsie, did I do that?
It's like send out as minionsthroughout the city and other
whatever.
They're like findingcartographers like hey, do you
(16:20):
remember this town?
Well, yeah, I think I do.
Slice, let me war we areliterally wiping this from a
history exactly so both he manand Prince Adam were friends
with Tila the lowest lane of thestory.
But I give Tila a little morecredit than lowest lane because
Clark Kent Superman looked theexact same, except Clark Kent
hunches a little bit and droopshis shoulders I mean that's
(16:41):
something.
But otherwise you put Clark andSuperman side by side obvious
the same dude.
Yeah, prince Adam and he manlooked physically very different
.
Now he sure is the same guy, sothere's obviously be
similarities.
But he man's a beefcake and allof the scrawny kid.
No one would think they're thesame person.
Shaun (16:55):
I recall wasn't like the Prince Adam Toy, all beefed up
and muscular or some stupid yeah, absolutely was like yeah like
oh, it's not.
There's like wow, prince Adamis just like a repainted he man
doll but you know what?
Nate (17:07):
I'm actually having doubts , I vote that out.
Let me just get I'm.
I might actually because Ithink I'm late, thinking the
Prince Adam, we could be a thankyou.
So nope, you've jacked in thecartoon too.
I made it was wrong because Iwas thinking about, like, future
versions of Prince Adam wherethey actually, like, made him
younger.
I was thinking about, yeah, Iwas thinking about the future
versions of it no, but yeah, Iremember being jacked in the
(17:29):
original he was jacked I was.
That's totally wrong.
So nope, she's just as bad likeshe I was, so put that like.
Images them side by side.
Like he man, prince Adam, it is100%.
Actually you know what.
He's worse than sir man,because at least Clark Kent
hunched his shoulders a littlebit and put glasses on this dude
looks.
He changed his shirt, the end,full stop.
(17:50):
There's.
He has the same expression onhis face, his same haircut like
everything about hair cut.
Shaun (17:57):
Yeah, there is personally the entire world that has that
haircut.
Nate (18:01):
I completely retract.
Why just said full retraction?
When I wrote that I wasthinking of more recent
incarnations of Prince Adam,where he was a wimpy kid.
He's.
They still play him off hiswimpy, which is stupid.
They play him off as like acowardly wimpy kid but like dude
, you're jacked.
You look exactly like he man.
What?
Why?
Shaun (18:20):
are you.
The worst is if you guys inteal of princess.
So she's in charge of, like youknow, diplomacy and stuff like
that and she can't tell twopeople apart.
That might be some problems andeven worse.
Nate (18:29):
Yeah, he had a cowardly tiger named cringey.
Was like dude, it is the samecoloring, the same marking, like
everything about, except youput like a armor on him.
Like you can't tell me that'snot battle cat, I'm sorry, right
there's not a whole lot ofgiant green cats around.
And then when you try to playwith it as a kid that you know
(18:51):
they had the same.
You just to play cringey, youtook off the battle so he still
had that fierce look at his face.
Shaun (18:58):
Yep, he said yeah, it was kind of hard to make believe on
that one.
Yeah, just struck Prince Adamfrom the record in my brain yeah
, prince Adam, every yeah he waslike we're just gonna get by
that plot point yeah, justbypass entirely.
Nate (19:13):
So well, teal of the adoptive daughter of men arms,
the secret child of sorceresswho rolled a sea man.
See man Jesus, he wrote a role.
He man is a fight scowl tour intheir minions, that's a way
different cartoon man right yeahcompletely different cartoon.
That was one of the words.
You go back in the 80s, we'regonna go another room, yeah
(19:36):
exactly.
Shaun (19:36):
I'd go the behind the curtain in the block right
exactly these tapes try to findsources versus see man.
Nate (19:42):
So as 80s cartoon bills tend to want scowl tour, one
power to rule the world, in thiscase attorney for that, any
castle grayskull and a powerstore, the he man held it,
adventure was had.
So that's basically that's thegist of the whole he man.
You know every, every episodewas skeleton resolution yeah,
(20:05):
and it all wrap up messing stuffup, and then you know there was
a lesson.
Shaun (20:09):
Hey, kids, don't snort poison you know how's Prince
Adam gonna get to the sword nowto turn into he man?
Oh look, exactly yeah no, lookno surprise.
And then, of course, I wasalways irritated to because it's
always skeletor getting shownup by his henchmen.
I'm just like, if they'remessing you over this many times
, just kill them and move on,hire some competent henchmen.
Nate (20:27):
Skeletor, right, I mean that was actually a really cool
line the most recent leg jumpinghead to the most recent
incorrect incineration iteration, whatever iteration hordex
shows up in the final seriesthat just came out revolutions,
and there was actually hold thedoor and fucking game thrones,
huh, or doctor, never mind, ohokay, okay, like what there?
(20:50):
was a.
There's a really cool scenewhere, like this, they're
destroying some random planetsomewhere and the hero of that
planet was like I'm gonna getyou and hordex, like all right,
cool, whatever man and he's goto attack hordex and his minions
, beat the crap out of the dude.
And you know, hordex goes.
Yeah, I don't fight my ownbattles, I have good minions, so
(21:13):
that's the scout, or never didscout, or I always had to do
himself because yeah these wereawful well, skeletal probably
went like the non-union route tosave some money, but in the
long run you don't really savethe money, right?
Shaun (21:23):
it's a good comp then, henchmen.
Nate (21:27):
Well, he man was so popular with boys and tell, try
to get the girls to the spin-offseries, she-ra, princess of
Power, I mean.
And then I was kind of got melike he man, you know, I guess
she woman doesn't roll off thetongue.
But yeah, she whoa, yeahsomething.
But she Rob, like what it?
I mean I'll it works, yeah, itrolls up her.
Shaun (21:46):
Yeah, she wrote us.
Yeah, it sounds almost vaguelylike Egyptian too.
It does a little bit.
Nate (21:52):
Well, they did this with the theatrical release of he man
.
She were the secret sword.
So in that movie they actuallythat's the first theatrical
release of he man was the teamand introducing she.
She wrote in this movie it wasbasically edited version of the
first five episodes she wrotethe cartoon very similar way
they did the Clone Wars.
You know they came out a whileback.
(22:13):
They actually released thefirst few episodes in a movie
theater and then they releasedit.
You know, as the series she wasprint that she was Prince Adams
, her before mentioned twinsister, princess Adora, who
somehow was a leader of a greatbillion against the evil or that
or evil ruler Hordak on theplanet Ithria.
So she wasn't even on the sameplanet.
(22:34):
Like somehow she's his twinsister but she's on a different
planet.
Why didn't he get another dudequote?
Shaun (22:40):
unquote.
Sister, this might be like animmigration thing.
He just needed to get her inthe right.
Right, yeah, it could just bemade up.
Nate (22:46):
She too used the power of a grayskull and also had
adventures.
In my young eyes it did workbecause my sister Got from a
different planet.
Shaun (22:53):
huh, no same one.
Oh, okay, yeah, same one.
They just send the power ofgrayskull from a different
planet though?
Yep, Okay, it's cosmictraveling powers.
Nate (23:03):
And in my young eyes it did work, because my sister got
in She-Ra for hot men.
I remember she got some of theShe-Ra toys and whatnot.
It was a few toy.
Few times Our toys get actuallycrossed over in like a cannon
way, not just my human fingerstrying to match up with the
Amazon.
Shaun (23:17):
Barbie dolls.
That was like the only timearound that era that girls
actually had like kind of a cool, quote, unquote, badass toy,
because they didn't have a lotof choices.
Besides that, it was like Jimand Barbie, and Jim was truly
outrageous, truly, truly, trulyoutrageous.
Nate (23:31):
She was.
Yeah, I remember Jim for a hotsecond, but yeah that that fell
by the wayside.
Shaun (23:36):
Oh yeah, everybody just remembers the theme song mainly
off of that.
I think they did a remake of itsomewhere down the road to.
Oh, I'm sure they did.
Nate (23:43):
They did have a live action movie within the last 10
years.
Shaun (23:46):
I don't think it might have been a little bit longer
than that, but yeah, and there'slike a little flying droid that
talked to them and it was weird.
Nate (23:53):
Was there, I don't know, I never really watched it.
Shaun (23:55):
Yeah, I didn't watch it.
I watched and people do likereviews of it and be like this
is something.
Nate (24:00):
I mean, I did see it when it came out, but it's.
I didn't watch to anyregularity, I don't really
remember it.
Oh man, it's a he-man.
Ran from 1983 to 1985,consisting of two seasons as 65
episodes each 130 episodes.
That really is.
That's pretty decent.
Shaun (24:17):
Yeah, I mean, I didn't forget how many episodes were in
seasons back in the day.
Nate (24:21):
It really is 65 episodes per season is a lot, yeah, and
that is considerable, yeah, asopposed to like South Park
nowadays, where you get sixepisodes in a year if you're
lucky if you're lucky.
Shaun (24:33):
Yeah.
Nate (24:34):
I mean, I mean, they're that's actually more like an
anime.
You know where they have allthese episodes, because I can't
even think of any.
Well, you consider moremainstream cartoons now that
would run 65 episodes.
Shaun (24:45):
Oh, nowadays?
No, not at all.
I think it's like an 80syndication thing, I'm pretty
sure, because like stuff alsohave like 40 episodes, seasons
at the start to yeah.
Nate (24:55):
I think now the average is like 20, some episodes.
I think that's about right,roughly 20.
But as things do, eventuallyboth shows lost popularity, were
canceled.
But that's not before.
Yeah, but that's not before.
He managed here.
I had a Christmas specialcalled.
He managed here a Christmasspecial.
Shaun (25:14):
Oh damn, they burned the candle.
Both ends coming up with that.
Yeah, it's great.
Nate (25:17):
I'm not going to spend too much time on this turd.
You know some kids from Eartharound Christmas time get
involved.
Honestly, I've crackedChristmas specials out there.
Star Wars still win, but thisone it gets the honorable
mention.
I didn't really get too far andI started reading the synopsis
and I just like I rolled my ass.
Shaun (25:35):
Synopsis yeah, keep your interest and obviously the show.
Nate (25:39):
No, I mean they go to, they go to Earth, they meet some
kids Christmas evolved Scouttour Learned you know magic.
Shaun (25:44):
The meaning of Christmas and yeah, it was happy.
I'm fairly certain.
Nate (25:49):
And I could have swore there was some like singing that
was like they.
I know there was like a he-mansinging meme.
That happened a while back andI thought they got some of this
from that, but I couldn't find.
I don't know.
I researched a little bittrying to kind of find like
where do these could you thinkabout?
He-man is all.
There's a lot of gay context toit and there's some like times
where he's yeah, I wonder why,yeah, right.
(26:11):
And I just I just gave up likewhatever.
Yeah, I'm not going to spend alot of time on this, so I just
quit.
But yeah, that that Christmasspecial is something else.
But now it's time.
Behold the dawn's glory, bowdown and give homage to the 1987
canon monstrosity.
That was a live actiontheatrical release of Masters of
the Universe, directed by GaryGoddard, starring Dolph Lundgren
(26:32):
.
Behold, I'll give homage.
I was so excited for this movie.
At the time I was gettinghe-man magazine.
That he-man magazine.
They had set photos, ads, toys,comics ads, character bios ads,
and also they had this littlething when you open the magazine
, little flyers would fall out.
Don't you miss magazines?
Yeah, right, I mean, just,you're actually ads to go with
(26:56):
your ads, right I mean.
And I remember, dude, I gotthat.
That is a day I still sticksome of mine Like we went to the
mailbox, we were living in ourapartments at the time and like,
yeah, I was all about it and tomy mind, you know, it was
amazing.
I'm sure if I saw it now I'd belike, um, this is like five,
(27:17):
basically five pages with acontent, with a bunch of ads.
Shaun (27:19):
Yep, yep.
And then you can order stufffrom those ads and take six to
eight weeks for it to arrive,damn straight.
Remember when shipping used totake forever.
Nate (27:28):
Right, like, okay, I ordered this now the way.
Yeah, now I mean, you're right,I just sometimes I just speak
fast.
Shaun (27:33):
Six to eight weeks and nowadays you can order something
and sometimes it's there likethe next day.
Nate (27:36):
Yeah, oh yeah.
I did that recently.
I was like do you want thistomorrow?
Shaun (27:40):
Yeah, right, and you're like, is it next to the charger?
Like no, not really.
Like huh, yeah, okay.
Nate (27:45):
Did you pay Amazon Prime?
Of course I am.
Well then, yeah, you're goingto get tomorrow, the next day.
Shaun (27:50):
Back in the day is mail your checkout and it'll get
there in like three weeks.
Then they got to have two weeksto turn it around and then
three weeks to ship it back toyou and you're like yeah, and I
have the audacity to be annoyedwhen I order some just for the
weekend.
Nate (28:01):
They're like go get it Monday.
It's like ah, how dare you.
I have to wait three days.
Shaun (28:08):
But then it was kind of cool as a kid though, because
you're like six to eight weeks,and then you just go stare at
the calendar for the next six toeight weeks and just be like
it's coming Right.
Soon it will be here.
Nate (28:17):
Then the UPS truck rolls by and you're like yeah, there
it flashed to me like the CalvinHobbs comic where Calvin orders
a beanie with a littlepropeller on the top and he like
waits and waits and waits andwaits, like six weeks and it
finally shows up and he puts iton his head.
He's like, okay, well, flythrough the sky, haha, crap.
Yeah, there's that one panellike the last panel, him just
(28:39):
staying there, the littlepropeller going around, and he
just like look, totaldisappointment, like oh, I do
remember ordering the occasionaltourney like this is going to
be cool.
Shaun (28:45):
When it shows up and you get in, you're like, oh huh,
yeah, this is awful.
Yeah, I don't know how to feelabout this.
I feel cheated.
Nate (28:55):
Well, as you may have guessed, I watched in the
theater opening weekend, but Ibecame confused almost
immediately because gone withthe color for outfits and
characters.
Instead, it looked like afuturistic, futuristic version
of Mad Max, shot entirely atnight on empty stages.
Dolph Lunger had muscles of heman, but he had a gun and
shoulder pads.
Skeletor played by FrankLangella is, I would say,
(29:16):
lingela Langella.
I think it's Langella.
Shaun (29:19):
And you sound more exotic and fancier.
Nate (29:22):
Skeletor, played by Frank Langella, who's actually like a
legit actor, had won the war andtaken over Castle Grants goal
Thanks to the character Gwildorand his cosmic key.
There are actually several newcharacters aside from him
introduced.
Most of them were villains andthey were all just terrible.
I mean, I think maybe theyspent four minutes total for
each character they added.
(29:42):
I mean, the only character Iactually kind of liked that
thought was cool was a charactercame in Sorod.
He was like an armor and lizardbut he dies like almost
immediately.
He's in the first fight with heman.
He gets knocked down like he'snothing and then Skeletor kills
him is like look how evil I am.
Shaun (29:59):
Come on, man.
See, I mean, maybe it's for thebest for that character.
They died right away and stayedcool, because if he had lived
through the entire movie hemight have gotten really lame in
a hurry.
Nate (30:08):
Well, and I actually I looked at this toy like when I
was researching I'm like whatwas his name again, because I
remembered, you know, the wholething.
The toy looked awful.
I mean, I mean not like thehuman characters were ever like
great, but even on the scale ofhe man characters from back in
the 80s they did not look good.
Yeah, but he man, tila man andarms of Gwildor go to earth to
(30:30):
meet some teenagers who ofcourse, did not look like
teenagers.
Shaun (30:35):
I'm 28 years old.
I'm going to play a teenager.
Nate (30:38):
And it's actually one of my favorite scenes in there.
I thought it actually holdsimplications about the attorney.
There was a scene where theyshow up to like a chicken, like
a KFC, but one KFC and theysteal some food from them.
They're eating it.
They're like what are thesesticks on there?
And when he man, I was like oh,they're bones, they're
horrified bones.
You mean this used to be aliveand like wait time out.
Are you telling me Eternia?
(30:59):
Are you telling me with themassive muscles that are walking
around?
You know from everybody they'revegetarians, are you?
Are you trying to like?
What kind of plants do you have?
Shaun (31:10):
in your ear.
Yeah, he managed veganindoctrination for the kids back
in the 80s, but I alwaysthought that was kind of like,
not just kind of weird.
Nate (31:17):
Yeah, it was just.
It was a weird add on and itputs I don't know my thing.
I just love the look of horroron their face when they're
eating meat and like yeah,that's right.
Shaun (31:25):
Tastes great, so matter of thing you could eat.
Nate (31:29):
Yeah, matter of thing seem .
You like yeah, he's like yeah,in battle sometimes you can.
Shaun (31:34):
Right, he's just like yeah, well, back during the
Holocaust, when I was a kid wehad to eat what we could, I
don't know, in the future.
Nate (31:40):
Now, you like you know the chickens probably sent you to.
They're like no, please do not.
Shaun (31:46):
So it is all the animals on planet, or sentient, so you
actually have to, like, talk toit as you're about to butcher it
.
Please rethink about to eat me.
No, no, no, I'm really hungry.
Nate (31:54):
So amongst these teenagers , Courtney Cox was one of them,
but she was.
There was only a second movieand she did fine.
I mean, it was a decent fishthat wore a story.
It was entertaining, it was the.
But that story quickly falls bythe wayside from like some low
budget action, especially when Iwas going to say wasn't Delph
Lundren a pretty big actor atthis time too?
Shaun (32:14):
No, he was awful.
He was before Rocky Four.
Nate (32:17):
Yes, no, before.
Rocky Four is before this, butbut like he wasn't.
So he was recognizable but hewasn't Delph Lundren.
You know it was because evenRocky Four he was, he was like
almost like Mr T we're.
I mean, this T had a biggercareer after I don't know if he
did, because he had the A team,but like he was big he was
(32:40):
recognizable but he wasn't likea name.
You know what I mean.
Shaun (32:44):
Yeah.
He was that big, scary Russiandude who's going to take over
America?
Nate (32:49):
It wouldn't like you walk up to some random kid, like you
know, delph Lundren, like who?
Yeah, it wasn't like.
Oh, it's this ArnoldSchwarzenegger.
Yeah.
Shaun (32:57):
He's a dude who beat up Rocky.
Nate (33:02):
Yeah.
So eventually, with the dumbestparts of the whole movie,
skeletor invades Earth.
He gets the cosmic key and goesback to the attorney and of
course, when they invade it'snot just at night.
No one's on the street, nocivilians are hurt and no one
sees anything.
No one's affected by thisinvasion.
He shows up, his army, comesthrough the like, a whole like
(33:23):
fancy parade, going through thestreets and literally not a
single person.
Shaun (33:28):
It's what they're budgeting.
The movie is like well, we caneither pay all the paperwork and
stuff and have the city shutdown for these hours, or we can
just shoot it at seven pm, Rightbefore people go to bed.
Nate (33:38):
And the way Skeletor gets the cosmic key back, which the
whole the MacGuffin about thiswhole movie is the cosmic key.
But Skeletor catches the humansand he threatens to kill them
unless he man surrenders.
So he man does and it's likewhat's terrible tactics.
I mean you're fate of the worldon your line, on the line and
you just immediately surrenderbecause he catches two randos
(33:59):
you met like five minutes ago.
I mean, I know it's heartless,but yeah right.
Shaun (34:04):
It's like hey, Nate, give me the ultimate weapon of
destruction that will destroyevery, kill everybody on this
planet, or I'm going to punchthis puppy.
Nate (34:11):
Yeah, I mean, it's not even this earth, but like your
planet.
Yeah, I know you're a hero, soyou don't necessarily want an
innocent planet that's notinvolved be destroyed.
But priority list, yeah, thisis like.
Shaun (34:22):
this is like the trolley problem.
Right, you know you got theentire universe on one track and
like two kids you don't evenreally like on the other.
So I'm going to marry DavidArquette.
Nate (34:32):
So he gets whisked off and then those left behind make
another cosmic key Thanks tosynthesizers.
Because 80s you go to a musicstore and they're like, oh, look
at Goulders.
Like what happened was one ofthem whistles and the guy
whistled for the teenagers.
And you know, this guy wasLieutenant Paris from Star Trek
Voyagers, the only thing I knowhim from.
(34:54):
So he was, and I'm not, Iwasn't big in the four-hanger,
but that's just if anybodylistening that's who it was.
So he whistled and Goulderslike what is that?
You're making music from yourmouth.
It's like time out again.
I had to ask Is the concept ofmusic on attorney not exist?
Shaun (35:13):
I mean, right, or just the ability to like blow air out
of your mouth.
It's like what, why is therenoise coming out of that hole in
your face?
It's like well, it's coming outof your hole in your face too,
buddy.
Nate (35:23):
And so they break into a music store and go straight for
synthesizer and like.
So he starts playing music andwell then he gives it to the
human.
He's like you, human, you mustdo this.
Like, didn't you make it?
Like you think, as the creatorof this thing, you would know
what to do, instead of givingsome random kid who, like
(35:46):
doesn't know anything let's bereal, he doesn't.
I mean, he was a musician, kindof.
They barely gave him abackstory.
The only backstory they gaveanybody was, you know, the girl,
but anyway.
So humans, they get the cosmickey.
He makes it free, al Toractually gets powered up and
then the final fight begins.
Here's the stages set.
I've bypassed a lot of stuff,but who cares?
(36:07):
Stage set.
Shaun (36:09):
There was a lot of filler and boring stuff in there.
Nate (36:11):
Yes, there was other things that were happening.
Shaun (36:13):
Yeah, he meant people are going to sit in a bush and talk
about stuff for a while.
Nate (36:16):
They actually did evil in a pretty cool Like I'll be
honest with you, like the thingwas like T, that was supposed to
be kind of like the bombshell.
But I'll tell you what, betweenthe two, evil in was more.
Oh yeah, totally yeah, oh man,her eyes.
Oh, anyway, forget about it.
At this point production was nowout of money.
Like what was supposed to be anepic fight, would seem, between
(36:36):
two powerful warriors becamelike two dudes moving very
little as bright lights flashedbehind them.
It was very interwebbing, ofcourse.
He then wins, scaletor fallsoff at a nearby pit as they do,
and everyone's happyCelebrations ensues.
Courtney Cox and Lieutenant TomParis, as I mentioned earlier,
are sent back to Earth.
But when one little amusingthing that kind of dawned on me
(36:58):
as I was writing this and Ididn't realize it back in the
time, there was a side storythat Courtney Cox parents died
of plane crash.
That was her whole thing.
Oh, my parents.
She drops that hints likelittle crumbs going through the
whole movie.
My parents, when they get sentback to Earth, they're sent back
in the back in time, just it,just before they leave to go in
(37:19):
their doom flight.
So she gets there and stops herparents from dying.
But that would create timeparadox, because the entire
reason she ran into a he-man andher friends was because she was
about to leave town, becauseher parents were dead.
Shaun (37:35):
And that's why she just now stuck in a groundhog day
situation till the end of time.
Yeah, I mean like never endinglooping hell of trying to rescue
her parents.
Nate (37:43):
Right, I mean so like um, but they of course obviously
know one of the movie.
Like I can't fault the writersbecause I'm not stuck, or two.
Shaun (37:54):
I mean you could, but I mean I mean well, if I fault
them for this.
Nate (37:58):
There are so many egregious things that happen in
this movie that's kind of like ayou know a side thing.
If you think too long, thereare plenty of other plot holes
that are honestly just havingthem go to earth and meet
earthlings was dumb plot idea.
Shaun (38:10):
They should just had everything happen on Eternia
with wild.
You know high expectations andadventures and well, that would
take money.
Nate (38:17):
Monsters, it would.
That was the problem.
Well, I'll touch on that in asecond.
But as the credits rolled youknow the movie is over I was at
the opening weekend and thecredits were rolling and I was
actually walking down the aisleto leave, like I remember we
were leaving out from behind thescreen, so we didn't turn
around and go back where we camein.
We are going down to the screenand go out the back way.
You're slowly going out therewatching the credits go by.
(38:39):
And then something happenedthat blew my fucking mind.
You're nearly out of thetheater and also the first in
credit scene at Earth scenehappened.
It was the camera pans withsome bubbling water and Scow
towards head, pops out anddeclares I'll be back.
But he wasn't.
Yeah never.
Shaun (38:56):
And then the rain exploded Like oh my God, right,
what?
Nate (39:01):
After that, after that for a while, like when I would like
written VHS and more stuff.
I always fast forward to theend to see there's in credits.
You know it was like it was aMarvel thing before the Marvel
thing and then of course, almostnobody did it Very few.
Shaun (39:15):
I remember a tiny handful of movies doing it.
Yeah, very, it did happen.
Nate (39:19):
It's not that it didn't, but yeah that just that set me
up for disappointment.
Shaun (39:24):
Yeah, I think the only other one that pops in top my
head is, I think killer clownsfrom outer space did it back
then A couple of like supercheesy horror movies, like super
cheesy low budget.
Nate (39:33):
But yeah, I might be wrong on that.
Well, after the, after I sawthe movie, I was in the
afterglow and it hadn't quitehit me how bad it was.
You know, safety had me with afan of mess.
Shaun (39:42):
You know sugar and popcorn and stuff like that.
Nate (39:45):
Yeah, like you were a fan of mess, I left.
That was older obviously.
But like you know, when I leftthat movie I'm like, oh yes,
that was.
And then it slowly just kind ofdawn to you Like you saw like a
hate crime.
Shaun (39:56):
You're just kind of like I know exactly what you mean
when somebody's like did youlike that movie?
Yeah, it was good.
And then you start thinkingabout it a few days after.
It's like did I like it though?
Nate (40:03):
Do I really do Like?
Shaun (40:05):
oh no, people scoff like I heard you like that piece of
crap movie.
I'm like, no, I don't think.
Nate (40:09):
I know, yeah, I did, but not anymore.
I actually started thinkingabout what I saw.
Shaun (40:14):
Yeah, and it took time to soak it in and process.
I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no.
Nate (40:19):
Well, dear my research, I actually found a nice little
thing where Frank Legilla, youknow, said Skelter to the day
was still one of his favoriteroles, Like he didn't know
anything about Master of theUniverse, but his kids loved and
pushed him to get very muchlike Raul Julia did for M Bison
a street fighter, that's what.
I thought of.
But although Legilla didn'thave any amazing speeches for
like for me with a Tuesday, youknow that's still.
(40:40):
I love that yes man Still upthere.
But Frank Legilla actually didadd one of his own lines.
He stuck this in there and Ireally love this line.
So I want to say it.
I don't know, I'm going to try,I'm going to do another bad
impression.
So this is a really cool line.
He goes tell me the lonelinessof good, he man, is it equal to
(41:00):
the lonely lens of evil?
But awesome, what a bad linethat's.
I don't know, I just love thatline Like tell me the loneliness
of good is equal to theloneliness of evil.
Like that, of course, hemanaged for his IQ of 72, just
freezes up and is like huh.
Shaun (41:15):
That's what a Skeletor stabs him.
I like roses.
What yeah?
My cat's breath smells like catfood.
Nate (41:23):
The movie did not do well.
They made 17.3 million backfrom the budget of 22 million.
The critics tore it apart andit was well deserved.
You know, many of the issuescan be laid to Fiamma Tell
because they refused to pay ontime.
They had a very small budgetand they tried to micromanage
the director every term, likealmost for the jump, like they.
At one point the crew actuallyquit filming.
(41:45):
They like covered up theircameras and refused to turn
anything on because they're likeuntil you pay us, we're not,
we're done.
Shaun (41:56):
And so Mattel.
Mattel forgot about rule 101 ofmaking a movie you pay people
to do shit.
Nate (42:01):
Right.
I mean again, like I mentionedearlier, like they ran out of
money for the final fight.
It was actually done.
That fight was done in abasement of some studio with
only like Lundgren, langella andlike a couple people in there.
That was it.
So it really was just two guysin a room Like they didn't do a
big fight scene because therewas nowhere.
If they took two star and theywalked too far back they would
(42:23):
hit a wall.
Shaun (42:25):
It was Lundren, the other dude like a guy running the
camera and the janitor juststaying around waiting to lock
up after they're done.
Exactly, yeah, make another,make a mess.
I got cleaned up beyond here by11.
Nate (42:37):
Well, another thing was going against the movie that
came out two years too late.
Remember, the cartoon ended in1985.
That was when they needed astrike.
Well, they needed a strikebetween.
Honestly, the best time tostrike was 1984.
Yeah, so it's maybe three yearstoo late, right in the middle
of that, like the height of thecartoon.
Shaun (42:53):
And yeah, it's like by that time Transformers had taken
some of the hype or some othercartoons.
And I said I was here afterthat, wasn't it?
Nate (43:01):
I think so.
I mean, I was still.
Obviously I was still on He-ManLike the show ended, but I
still played with it.
I was still excited for themovie that came out.
I got the magazine, everything.
I was still into it, but I was.
I was the exception of the roleyou know there's and I remember
when I went and saw that movietheater we were one of the few
people in there, so it wasn'tlike I went and saw the packed
(43:21):
house, we saw it and there wereplenty of seats to choose from.
Shaun (43:27):
You're like, oh my, this doesn't bode well.
Well, at the time I was justtoo excited.
Nate (43:32):
I again, I was, I was still into it, so I was too
excited, you're fucking apopcorn, your little pinnet flag
that says He-Man on it.
Shaun (43:39):
And you just get little pinnet flags everywhere for like
free or cheap, like thoselittle felt flags, and just say
something.
Nate (43:45):
Oh yeah.
Shaun (43:46):
I don't know why that just popped in my head.
But just young Nathan with onedozen hands this is He-Man and
big popcorn.
I'm like, yeah, I'm excitedthis is going to be the greatest
day of my life.
Nate (43:55):
Well, I remember my dad tried to get me to collect, like
collect something.
He like you just collect pinsand patches.
I'm like, ok, I didn't getabout pins and patches, I want
to play comics.
And so that's what I was doing.
Like I would he give me a pinlike, hey, thanks Me, why go to
the comic store?
I got by all these.
Shaun (44:11):
And he's like but for the price for a comic book you can
buy lots of pins and patches andyou're like I don't care, old
man.
Nate (44:17):
Yeah, I think you finally realized.
I just do, I don't care, likeyou might like the patches by
now.
Shaun (44:21):
Yeah, that's something he likes and not something you
liked.
Nate (44:25):
That's it for this episode on He-Man.
Next episode we'll talk aboutthe master's universe movie, as
well as future of the franchise,including the more recent
cartoons from Kevin Smith.
We'll also talk a little aboutthe death of Superman, as well
as Star Trek, d Space Nine.
He-Man, the Masters of the Universe.
This time I'm telling storiesand stuff, and Sean must listen.
I've tied him to a chair and Ipunch him in the face, so he's
listening to He-Man Repeatedly,I'm in great danger.
Shaun (00:14):
People, please listen and like and subscribe, otherwise
he'll do bad things to me.
Bad things, it's funny.
Nate (00:19):
I actually suggested this and Sean's like what should we
do?
I'm like He-Man.
He's like okay, I don't feellike doing that.
I'm like okay, and then finallyI'm like I'm doing He-Man.
Shaun (00:27):
I'm taking it, I'm going to say I'm going to see you in
six, nine, and there's one otheryou want to do too.
Nate (00:32):
Eventually that's a Star Trek, star Trek specifically
deep six nine, and I'm going totry to lower the F-bombs.
Shaun (00:38):
But I just failed already .
Yeah, it's, I think.
Let's see.
Usually, when you say I'm goingto stop doing F-bombs, you make
it on average 20 seconds, Ithink, before you throw one out
yeah.
I just it's whatever.
Okay, here we go.
It is who I am, it is part ofmy essence.
Nate (00:58):
Me, they must get out, they must when I'm at work
though, like when I'm, when I goto work, I'm actually in public
.
I don't have that issue, butI've been working remote for two
years plus and I don't centermyself around my family either,
so I just don't.
Yeah, I have very littlepractice of not catching myself.
Shaun (01:17):
Yeah, so now there's just a constant string of F bombs at
the computer monitor all daylong while you're at work.
Nate (01:22):
Yeah.
I mean but yeah, anyway, I'llbe working in public soon enough
, so I probably should likereally work on that.
Shaun (01:27):
Yeah, it's, it's the public down in Kentucky.
They're used to the F bombs.
Okay, say Jesus afterwards.
Anyways, jesus afterwards.
Okay, here we go.
All right, let's go.
Nate (01:39):
The story of He-Man begins back in 1976, two years before
I was born.
The CA Matilda time, roryWagoner I love that.
Wagoner is like W-A-G-G-O-N-E-R.
Wagoner, wagoner, wagoner yeah,that's more.
He-man, wagoner, that does.
Wagoner Made a very, verystupid decision.
The opportunity to make toysfor an upcoming sci-fi movie
(02:01):
came across his desk.
He took issue with a seventyfive thousand dollar license fee
they wanted, so he passed on it.
Today that's about sevenmillion dollars, but the sci-fi
movie you passed on was StarWars.
Shaun (02:12):
Yep, I figured it was.
Once you sit in 1977 andpassing on the licensing thing,
Right.
Nate (02:17):
And, of course, what happened happened?
Wagoner.
Wagoner had a ton of egos face.
Shaun (02:21):
It was desperate to fix his mistake and his wife would
never leave him alone about itfor the rest of their marriage.
Nate (02:25):
Can you imagine just like it is?
People walking down thehallways is giving the eyes like
man Star Wars?
Shaun (02:33):
People just constantly go to people like you know.
I would like to be able to askto borrow money off of you now,
but you blew it.
Nate (02:39):
It's like why are you like rereading my mail that I've
written Like I don't know?
Your decision making is not toogreat.
Shaun (02:45):
You see that your track record, and it's not great man.
Nate (02:49):
So, trying to get his group back, mattel launched.
The one missed after another.
They kept on trying todifferentiate and this didn't
take.
After some brain brainstorming,they concluded that simplicity
was best and decided to go formore generic hero designer Mark
Taylor looked through some ofhis older work, including some
drawings, and made him a kid.
For inspiration, taylor foundsoldier, a spaceman and a
barbarian and submitted them toMattel designer Roger Sweet, who
(03:11):
then pitched to Mattel and his2005 book Mastering the Universe
, he man and the Rise and Fallof a Billion Dollar Idea, sweet
said that I'm quoting now.
The only way I was going to havea chance to sell this to Wagner
was to make three 3D models,big ones.
I glued a big Jim a big Jimfigure, which is another Mattel
toy line into a battle actionpose, and I add a lot of clay to
(03:33):
his body.
I then made Pastor Cass made,and these three prototypes,
which I presented in 1980,brought he man to existence.
I simply explained that it wasa powerful figure that could be
taken anywhere and dropped atany context, because he had a
generic name he man.
So basically, the idea was thathe man is such a dumb name that
he has to give their own uniquename and basically playing John
(03:54):
Doe for barbarians.
Shaun (03:57):
God.
So it was like he man and GuyDude were the last two names,
that they had us options.
Right, right.
Nate (04:03):
It's the most generic.
Shaun (04:04):
We got he man, guy, dude and Person man, I guess Like
what dumb kids go actually usehe man for his real name.
Nate (04:12):
Obviously they're going to replace it with something else.
Shaun (04:14):
Yeah, although I just realized too that, dude, when he
was a little kid it was likedoodling, you know action stars
and barbarians and soldiers.
He might have been a little bitof a gay child.
Huh, a little bit.
I'm a little bit like I'm goingto draw this man called man at
Arms.
He's going to have a hell of amustache, a big arms to hug me
with.
I want to be my daddy.
Nate (04:34):
I remember the cartoon he had a mustache, but the toy he
didn't.
He didn't.
He did have a mustache as acartoon, didn't he?
That's where he had a mustachein the toy.
No, I had a man at arms.
He didn't have it much as a toy.
Ok, this is pausey for a second.
Like must look at man at arms.
Shaun (04:49):
Yeah, I mean I could be totally wrong because I don't
know if I actually had the manat arms toy.
Nate (04:59):
To be honest, yes, he had a mustache, but yeah, if you
look at his toys they're latertoys, but the toy I had did not
have a mustache and he actuallydidn't look anything like the
he-man from the series.
His face is all squished up.
I mean he looks like a freak.
Nope, I've seen the side byside ones.
Shaun (05:12):
Yeah, you're right, he kind of looks like an angry
mushroom headed dwarf thing kindof right.
Nate (05:21):
And then the series came out, he had a big old porn stash
and I'm like, OK, where's?
Where's my man or his pornstash?
Somewhere between the inventionof the toy and the cartoon Tila
was like you know.
Shaun (05:33):
what I like on a man is a mustache, and it was like oh, I
can go with that baby?
Yeah, that's very disappointing.
No mustache he does.
He looks so weird without amustache, Right, as a child I
would have been verydisappointed to be like I want
my porn stash on my guy, Like myparents would be like what did
you see?
Nate (05:50):
And he's just like.
Well, I got him and Ram man ina gay relationship.
Shaun (05:56):
Anyways continue.
The He-Man line launched in1982 called the Masters of the.
Nate (06:02):
Universe was brought a was brought a headache almost
immediately Mattel and Andrew,the agreement with the rights
holders for Conan of Averian1982, the Arnold Schwarzenegger
movie.
They got sued for obvioussimilarities but lost in all
illegal agreements between themwere dissolved.
So you know, they got sued.
While they did the payout, thatdid lose the licensing to the
Conan movie.
I don't know what happened.
I didn't go any further thanthat.
(06:24):
Somewhere, Frank Frazier isstaying in the shadows being
like holding a raise in his hand.
Be like, what about me?
Shaun (06:28):
I deserve something of this, the further controversy
arrived in the form of anger andconcern.
Parents upset companies werenow dedicating whole cartel.
Nate (06:37):
Still in toys versus a two minute commercial.
He-man was by no means the onlyone, but it was lumped in with
his cohorts GI Joe andThundercats.
Shaun (06:50):
Yeah, that was my legal for companies to do at one point
.
Yeah, fcc rules and stuff Yep,how dare you?
Yeah, we can actually thankReagan for getting rid of that
law.
I would have thought every sooften he did some good things.
Yeah, everyone's like yes, Acompromise.
What a compromise Was reachedunder?
Nate (07:05):
the children's television act of 1990.
That said broadcasters couldn'tshow more than 12 minutes of
commercials on children'sprogramming.
But to be honest, that's stilla lot.
Yeah, it is a lot.
That's a 30 minutes long.
Yeah, it shows like 30 minuteslong with commercials like even
less.
Shaun (07:21):
It's like 12 minutes is a long time.
Nate (07:23):
Sometimes a sneaky cartoon is a sneaky commercial.
Shaun (07:33):
It's during the actual episode themselves.
Nate (07:35):
Right.
Shaun (07:36):
Yeah.
Nate (07:36):
Well, that's actually what the man in arms was Men in arms
whole gig was.
He would come on there with anew thing like, hey look, I've
got this now.
By the way, you could buy it atToys Worm.
Shaun (07:46):
Yeah, you like skunkman from this episode.
Well, tell your parents go topay me skunkman or go to hell.
Nate (07:53):
Which is funny because, to my memory, moss man smelled
worse than the skunkman.
Shaun (07:59):
He did.
He had that.
He had a very odd chemicallysmell to him.
I think it's from like the furon him and stuff.
Nate (08:04):
Yeah, so it was just really bad musk to him.
Shaun (08:06):
Yeah, it was just like that.
We were almost like when youget stuff from a team or whatnot
nowadays and you smell like ohGod.
But yeah, skunkman was justpatchouli, which, I mean, isn't
the greatest smell in the world,but it's not bad.
Nate (08:17):
No, it's not.
Shaun (08:18):
Patchouli.
I also remember Moss man 2,that fur rubbed off really fast.
It might have been because Iwas just like a kid, just like
rubbing all over the thing Likeooh fuzzy.
Nate (08:28):
Yeah, I remember he got false spots in a hurry.
Shaun (08:30):
It absolutely did, minded to.
Yeah, sad times Kind of didhave some cool texture to him,
though.
Nate (08:36):
Oh, it really did.
I mean it was very tactile.
I mean, versus the other ones,there's hard plastic.
This guy was like man.
This guy actually has some likeyou know feel to him.
Shaun (08:44):
Yeah, I could rub this on my body and feel funny and sad.
Nate (08:50):
Well, back to the initial release of Master of the
Universe, mattel included a minicomic with each toy they gave a
backstory of our hero or thehero that was involved.
It wasn't the story that weknow now.
The setting was a postapocalyptic world called Eternia
.
The advanced civilization ofthe past had long followed the
war.
It was now.
What was left was like variousvillages and cities that did
(09:11):
seem to know very little of eachother.
One such barbarian tribe heldHe-Man, the strongest barbarian,
who decided to leave foradventure, and as he traveled he
came across a sorceress whogave him a powerful weapons and
outfit and she was like green,kind of like Teela from the back
of the day, had like kind of asnake thing around her, like a
shawl, if you will, and she wasgreen.
(09:31):
In their original drawings thatwas a sorceress, and sorceress
that we know now has the eagleGuys, yep, as he was building
himself a home.
Because why not?
This villain's Scalator foundthe beautiful battle goddess
Teela and kidnapped her.
No backstory, just surprise,here's Scalator, here's Teela.
You know kidnapping Cause, youknow 80s.
(09:52):
Eventually, he-man getsinvolved and fights Scalator,
who has taken Teela to CastleGrayskull for reasons they fight
.
He-man wins Four reasons Fourreasons.
That's the best reason to doanything.
Shaun (10:04):
Reasons Yep, just for reasons why?
Because I can't.
He's gonna stop me.
Nate (10:09):
They fight, He-Man wins Scalator.
Get him next time.
While researching this, Iintended to read the entire
comic line, taking notes as Iwent.
I actually started doing that.
I was like, okay, this one doesthis, this one does this.
And very quickly I was like I'mnot doing this.
It was a realized it was awaste of time, I just don't have
.
I moved on.
Shaun (10:31):
How is the actual quality of them themselves?
Nate (10:33):
That's the thing Now.
Basically, he-man goes to anadventure fighting scout tour
and meets various villains alongthe way.
That's basically what thesemany comics are for.
They weren't for some generaloverview of stories.
Now these comics were actuallycomics you think of, with panels
and word bubbles.
I had fully anticipated to seea low budget 1980s comic with
crap art and crappier dialogue.
(10:53):
Some of these throwaway comicsback in the 80s, they're junk.
Shaun (10:59):
It was literally just like kids are stupid, give them
anything and they'll like it,right.
Nate (11:04):
Well, these are actually more like the little golden
books.
Back in the day there wasactually a pretty decent,
well-drawn image at the top ofthe page.
Beneath that was likeparagraphs describing what was
going on.
No word bubbles, no panels.
You get the idea.
You have seen little goldenpatterns.
I mean seriously they werepretty well drawn, I mean they
actually look pretty.
Shaun (11:23):
I'm actually looking at some of the covers here right
now and it's bringing back a lotof memory.
It's like, yeah, some of thesecovers are cool.
It's like, hey, there's BattleCat looking all badass with
giant claws and everything andthings.
Nate (11:31):
I don't really complain.
I have a scout tour's face.
It looks a little melty, butthat's I mean whatever.
That's a minor quibble.
Otherwise art's actually prettydecent.
But 1982, Deci got ahold of thecharacter in a very limited run
, like three issues.
It was more like a comics, youexpect.
They did this to fill thecharacter out a little bit.
But I didn't really get intothem, I didn't read them, I just
(11:54):
got the information.
But He-Man did have a cameoappearance with some other
properties like Superman, butnever really went anywhere.
He just kind of, hey, Supermanwent to Attorney, they had a
brief interaction and Supermanwent back to his home world and
He-Man said yeah, yeah, justlike one of those standard
crossovers from back in the dayit's like yeah, yeah catch
phrase to each other and makeone like curious joke about each
(12:16):
other, and then we'll be off.
And Superman will never mentionHe-Man.
He-man will never mentionSuperman.
Shaun (12:20):
It's like it never happened, and there's always got
to be one villain from theSuperman world and one villain
from the He-Man world, so it'slike Lex Luthor and Gelator
teaming up or something to do aroster scan Right right.
Nate (12:31):
Well, finally we're.
We're here.
The reason why we all loveHe-Man is the insanely popular
cartoon He-Man and the Master ofthe Universe.
It actually released a littleunder two weeks for my fifth
birthday, september 5th 1983.
They revised and expanded theoriginal backstory even more
from he was a barbarian, he wasstrong, so he went out to kill
things.
My suspicion was to avoid evenmore comparison with Conan,
(12:53):
because they just barely got outof that lawsuit from last time.
So they're like let's toss alittle more in here to really
kind of drive home this is notConan.
Shaun (13:00):
It's like a secret identity kind of thing and you
know right, adam.
Nate (13:04):
As you just said, adam, that He-Man is the alter ego of
Prince Adam of Eternia.
He's a total wimp who liveswith his cowardly tiger cringer.
His father was King Randor,ruler of Eternia.
His mother was a humanastronaut named Captain Marlena
Glenn, who got lost in space.
I do not remember that part.
Yeah, I actually said that,like no further explanation on
that.
(13:24):
Just lost in space and I'mmarried to a king of power.
They really didn't get intothat.
Shaun (13:27):
Maybe that's why they speak English.
Maybe she just like, had thecolonial spirit in her and she's
like you're all speaking mylanguage and have my religions.
Nate (13:33):
now, yeah, I have no memory of that.
You know part of it was like isthat just because I didn't care
?
But I seriously have no memoryof any kind of earth, anything
on Eternia.
Shaun (13:42):
Yeah, neither do I.
I do remember as a kid thinkingthe whole Prince Adam and
cringer thing side story wasstupid and they should have just
stuck with straight He-Man.
But now that you bring it up Isee why.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I was likeso much better if Prince Adam
wasn't even a thing in this.
Nate (13:58):
I do get the idea behind that, like a lot of these
cartoons will put like a childin there.
It's kind of oh see my children, you know you're a child,
children, even transformers.
I remember several transformerslike okay, we have this
intergalactic menace to dealwith.
Come on, timmy, get in mydriver's seat.
Shaun (14:16):
Especially all those Transformers books you'd buy
like the book fairs at school.
Almost all of those were likesome high adventure with like a
12 year old tagging along.
I mean, don't you want like an?
Nate (14:23):
experienced like warrior, Like you like.
So who?
Shaun (14:26):
knows what they're doing.
Nope, we need a kid who can doa Rubik's Cube on page seven
really fast.
So you know Rubik's Cube kidscan relate.
Nate (14:35):
Well, when Prince Adam raised the power of sword, said
by the power of grisco, I havethe power.
I said a way better when hedoes that's not an awful.
I'm rolling with it best, not anawful that's all agree that was
the worst, ever worst teamimpression of all time.
(15:02):
Anyway.
Lighting, explosion.
Lighting explodes around himlike Highlander, and the image
of Castle Grayskull would appearin the background all the time
in players in the background.
Right, you're like like 80s,but and he?
He uses a rippling muscles tocombat the blue evil.
Jack's gold face, villainSkeletor no news.
He man's true identity, exceptfor the sorceress, has weapon
(15:23):
masters, man and arms andincompetent floating wizard
thing, orco and whoever theytold right, there's what the I
remember orco.
Shaun (15:32):
I would never trust that man with a secret or trust him,
god.
He kind of annoyed me, it'slike.
Well, I could cause andsolution to half the problems of
the show exactly actually likethe next thing.
Nate (15:41):
I say orco is the wrench they needed to keep things
interesting.
Are things going too well inyour story?
Bam orco, yep, there is.
Oh no, his spell.
Turn the villagers inside out,go get your sword, prince Adam,
and fix it.
I mean cuz?
Shaun (15:53):
yeah, it was just the way Prince Adam fixes it, just
right around, just like puttingthem all out of misery.
Nate (15:58):
Sorry, that's exactly this is me fixing it.
This town never existed.
Uses power, uses like royalpower to just wipe it off the
map, just like okay, it nevergoes like oopsie, did I do that?
It's like send out as minionsthroughout the city and other
whatever.
They're like findingcartographers like hey, do you
(16:20):
remember this town?
Well, yeah, I think I do.
Slice, let me war we areliterally wiping this from a
history exactly so both he manand Prince Adam were friends
with Tila the lowest lane of thestory.
But I give Tila a little morecredit than lowest lane because
Clark Kent Superman looked theexact same, except Clark Kent
hunches a little bit and droopshis shoulders I mean that's
(16:41):
something.
But otherwise you put Clark andSuperman side by side obvious
the same dude.
Yeah, prince Adam and he manlooked physically very different
.
Now he sure is the same guy, sothere's obviously be
similarities.
But he man's a beefcake and allof the scrawny kid.
No one would think they're thesame person.
Shaun (16:55):
I recall wasn't like the Prince Adam Toy, all beefed up
and muscular or some stupid yeah, absolutely was like yeah like
oh, it's not.
There's like wow, prince Adamis just like a repainted he man
doll but you know what?
Nate (17:07):
I'm actually having doubts , I vote that out.
Let me just get I'm.
I might actually because Ithink I'm late, thinking the
Prince Adam, we could be a thankyou.
So nope, you've jacked in thecartoon too.
I made it was wrong because Iwas thinking about, like, future
versions of Prince Adam wherethey actually, like, made him
younger.
I was thinking about, yeah, Iwas thinking about the future
versions of it no, but yeah, Iremember being jacked in the
(17:29):
original he was jacked I was.
That's totally wrong.
So nope, she's just as bad likeshe I was, so put that like.
Images them side by side.
Like he man, prince Adam, it is100%.
Actually you know what.
He's worse than sir man,because at least Clark Kent
hunched his shoulders a littlebit and put glasses on this dude
looks.
He changed his shirt, the end,full stop.
(17:50):
There's.
He has the same expression onhis face, his same haircut like
everything about hair cut.
Shaun (17:57):
Yeah, there is personally the entire world that has that
haircut.
Nate (18:01):
I completely retract.
Why just said full retraction?
When I wrote that I wasthinking of more recent
incarnations of Prince Adam,where he was a wimpy kid.
He's.
They still play him off hiswimpy, which is stupid.
They play him off as like acowardly wimpy kid but like dude
, you're jacked.
You look exactly like he man.
What?
Why?
Shaun (18:20):
are you.
The worst is if you guys inteal of princess.
So she's in charge of, like youknow, diplomacy and stuff like
that and she can't tell twopeople apart.
That might be some problems andeven worse.
Nate (18:29):
Yeah, he had a cowardly tiger named cringey.
Was like dude, it is the samecoloring, the same marking, like
everything about, except youput like a armor on him.
Like you can't tell me that'snot battle cat, I'm sorry, right
there's not a whole lot ofgiant green cats around.
And then when you try to playwith it as a kid that you know
(18:51):
they had the same.
You just to play cringey, youtook off the battle so he still
had that fierce look at his face.
Shaun (18:58):
Yep, he said yeah, it was kind of hard to make believe on
that one.
Yeah, just struck Prince Adamfrom the record in my brain yeah
, prince Adam, every yeah he waslike we're just gonna get by
that plot point yeah, justbypass entirely.
Nate (19:13):
So well, teal of the adoptive daughter of men arms,
the secret child of sorceresswho rolled a sea man.
See man Jesus, he wrote a role.
He man is a fight scowl tour intheir minions, that's a way
different cartoon man right yeahcompletely different cartoon.
That was one of the words.
You go back in the 80s, we'regonna go another room, yeah
(19:36):
exactly.
Shaun (19:36):
I'd go the behind the curtain in the block right
exactly these tapes try to findsources versus see man.
Nate (19:42):
So as 80s cartoon bills tend to want scowl tour, one
power to rule the world, in thiscase attorney for that, any
castle grayskull and a powerstore, the he man held it,
adventure was had.
So that's basically that's thegist of the whole he man.
You know every, every episodewas skeleton resolution yeah,
(20:05):
and it all wrap up messing stuffup, and then you know there was
a lesson.
Shaun (20:09):
Hey, kids, don't snort poison you know how's Prince
Adam gonna get to the sword nowto turn into he man?
Oh look, exactly yeah no, lookno surprise.
And then, of course, I wasalways irritated to because it's
always skeletor getting shownup by his henchmen.
I'm just like, if they'remessing you over this many times
, just kill them and move on,hire some competent henchmen.
Nate (20:27):
Skeletor, right, I mean that was actually a really cool
line the most recent leg jumpinghead to the most recent
incorrect incineration iteration, whatever iteration hordex
shows up in the final seriesthat just came out revolutions,
and there was actually hold thedoor and fucking game thrones,
huh, or doctor, never mind, ohokay, okay, like what there?
(20:50):
was a.
There's a really cool scenewhere, like this, they're
destroying some random planetsomewhere and the hero of that
planet was like I'm gonna getyou and hordex, like all right,
cool, whatever man and he's goto attack hordex and his minions
, beat the crap out of the dude.
And you know, hordex goes.
Yeah, I don't fight my ownbattles, I have good minions, so
(21:13):
that's the scout, or never didscout, or I always had to do
himself because yeah these wereawful well, skeletal probably
went like the non-union route tosave some money, but in the
long run you don't really savethe money, right?
Shaun (21:23):
it's a good comp then, henchmen.
Nate (21:27):
Well, he man was so popular with boys and tell, try
to get the girls to the spin-offseries, she-ra, princess of
Power, I mean.
And then I was kind of got melike he man, you know, I guess
she woman doesn't roll off thetongue.
But yeah, she whoa, yeahsomething.
But she Rob, like what it?
I mean I'll it works, yeah, itrolls up her.
Shaun (21:46):
Yeah, she wrote us.
Yeah, it sounds almost vaguelylike Egyptian too.
It does a little bit.
Nate (21:52):
Well, they did this with the theatrical release of he man
.
She were the secret sword.
So in that movie they actuallythat's the first theatrical
release of he man was the teamand introducing she.
She wrote in this movie it wasbasically edited version of the
first five episodes she wrotethe cartoon very similar way
they did the Clone Wars.
You know they came out a whileback.
(22:13):
They actually released thefirst few episodes in a movie
theater and then they releasedit.
You know, as the series she wasprint that she was Prince Adams
, her before mentioned twinsister, princess Adora, who
somehow was a leader of a greatbillion against the evil or that
or evil ruler Hordak on theplanet Ithria.
So she wasn't even on the sameplanet.
(22:34):
Like somehow she's his twinsister but she's on a different
planet.
Why didn't he get another dudequote?
Shaun (22:40):
unquote.
Sister, this might be like animmigration thing.
He just needed to get her inthe right.
Right, yeah, it could just bemade up.
Nate (22:46):
She too used the power of a grayskull and also had
adventures.
In my young eyes it did workbecause my sister Got from a
different planet.
Shaun (22:53):
huh, no same one.
Oh, okay, yeah, same one.
They just send the power ofgrayskull from a different
planet though?
Yep, Okay, it's cosmictraveling powers.
Nate (23:03):
And in my young eyes it did work, because my sister got
in She-Ra for hot men.
I remember she got some of theShe-Ra toys and whatnot.
It was a few toy.
Few times Our toys get actuallycrossed over in like a cannon
way, not just my human fingerstrying to match up with the
Amazon.
Shaun (23:17):
Barbie dolls.
That was like the only timearound that era that girls
actually had like kind of a cool, quote, unquote, badass toy,
because they didn't have a lotof choices.
Besides that, it was like Jimand Barbie, and Jim was truly
outrageous, truly, truly, trulyoutrageous.
Nate (23:31):
She was.
Yeah, I remember Jim for a hotsecond, but yeah that that fell
by the wayside.
Shaun (23:36):
Oh yeah, everybody just remembers the theme song mainly
off of that.
I think they did a remake of itsomewhere down the road to.
Oh, I'm sure they did.
Nate (23:43):
They did have a live action movie within the last 10
years.
Shaun (23:46):
I don't think it might have been a little bit longer
than that, but yeah, and there'slike a little flying droid that
talked to them and it was weird.
Nate (23:53):
Was there, I don't know, I never really watched it.
Shaun (23:55):
Yeah, I didn't watch it.
I watched and people do likereviews of it and be like this
is something.
Nate (24:00):
I mean, I did see it when it came out, but it's.
I didn't watch to anyregularity, I don't really
remember it.
Oh man, it's a he-man.
Ran from 1983 to 1985,consisting of two seasons as 65
episodes each 130 episodes.
That really is.
That's pretty decent.
Shaun (24:17):
Yeah, I mean, I didn't forget how many episodes were in
seasons back in the day.
Nate (24:21):
It really is 65 episodes per season is a lot, yeah, and
that is considerable, yeah, asopposed to like South Park
nowadays, where you get sixepisodes in a year if you're
lucky if you're lucky.
Shaun (24:33):
Yeah.
Nate (24:34):
I mean, I mean, they're that's actually more like an
anime.
You know where they have allthese episodes, because I can't
even think of any.
Well, you consider moremainstream cartoons now that
would run 65 episodes.
Shaun (24:45):
Oh, nowadays?
No, not at all.
I think it's like an 80syndication thing, I'm pretty
sure, because like stuff alsohave like 40 episodes, seasons
at the start to yeah.
Nate (24:55):
I think now the average is like 20, some episodes.
I think that's about right,roughly 20.
But as things do, eventuallyboth shows lost popularity, were
canceled.
But that's not before.
Yeah, but that's not before.
He managed here.
I had a Christmas specialcalled.
He managed here a Christmasspecial.
Shaun (25:14):
Oh damn, they burned the candle.
Both ends coming up with that.
Yeah, it's great.
Nate (25:17):
I'm not going to spend too much time on this turd.
You know some kids from Eartharound Christmas time get
involved.
Honestly, I've crackedChristmas specials out there.
Star Wars still win, but thisone it gets the honorable
mention.
I didn't really get too far andI started reading the synopsis
and I just like I rolled my ass.
Shaun (25:35):
Synopsis yeah, keep your interest and obviously the show.
Nate (25:39):
No, I mean they go to, they go to Earth, they meet some
kids Christmas evolved Scouttour Learned you know magic.
Shaun (25:44):
The meaning of Christmas and yeah, it was happy.
I'm fairly certain.
Nate (25:49):
And I could have swore there was some like singing that
was like they.
I know there was like a he-mansinging meme.
That happened a while back andI thought they got some of this
from that, but I couldn't find.
I don't know.
I researched a little bittrying to kind of find like
where do these could you thinkabout?
He-man is all.
There's a lot of gay context toit and there's some like times
where he's yeah, I wonder why,yeah, right.
(26:11):
And I just I just gave up likewhatever.
Yeah, I'm not going to spend alot of time on this, so I just
quit.
But yeah, that that Christmasspecial is something else.
But now it's time.
Behold the dawn's glory, bowdown and give homage to the 1987
canon monstrosity.
That was a live actiontheatrical release of Masters of
the Universe, directed by GaryGoddard, starring Dolph Lundgren
(26:32):
.
Behold, I'll give homage.
I was so excited for this movie.
At the time I was gettinghe-man magazine.
That he-man magazine.
They had set photos, ads, toys,comics ads, character bios ads,
and also they had this littlething when you open the magazine
, little flyers would fall out.
Don't you miss magazines?
Yeah, right, I mean, just,you're actually ads to go with
(26:56):
your ads, right I mean.
And I remember, dude, I gotthat.
That is a day I still sticksome of mine Like we went to the
mailbox, we were living in ourapartments at the time and like,
yeah, I was all about it and tomy mind, you know, it was
amazing.
I'm sure if I saw it now I'd belike, um, this is like five,
(27:17):
basically five pages with acontent, with a bunch of ads.
Shaun (27:19):
Yep, yep.
And then you can order stufffrom those ads and take six to
eight weeks for it to arrive,damn straight.
Remember when shipping used totake forever.
Nate (27:28):
Right, like, okay, I ordered this now the way.
Yeah, now I mean, you're right,I just sometimes I just speak
fast.
Shaun (27:33):
Six to eight weeks and nowadays you can order something
and sometimes it's there likethe next day.
Nate (27:36):
Yeah, oh yeah.
I did that recently.
I was like do you want thistomorrow?
Shaun (27:40):
Yeah, right, and you're like, is it next to the charger?
Like no, not really.
Like huh, yeah, okay.
Nate (27:45):
Did you pay Amazon Prime?
Of course I am.
Well then, yeah, you're goingto get tomorrow, the next day.
Shaun (27:50):
Back in the day is mail your checkout and it'll get
there in like three weeks.
Then they got to have two weeksto turn it around and then
three weeks to ship it back toyou and you're like yeah, and I
have the audacity to be annoyedwhen I order some just for the
weekend.
Nate (28:01):
They're like go get it Monday.
It's like ah, how dare you.
I have to wait three days.
Shaun (28:08):
But then it was kind of cool as a kid though, because
you're like six to eight weeks,and then you just go stare at
the calendar for the next six toeight weeks and just be like
it's coming Right.
Soon it will be here.
Nate (28:17):
Then the UPS truck rolls by and you're like yeah, there
it flashed to me like the CalvinHobbs comic where Calvin orders
a beanie with a littlepropeller on the top and he like
waits and waits and waits andwaits, like six weeks and it
finally shows up and he puts iton his head.
He's like, okay, well, flythrough the sky, haha, crap.
Yeah, there's that one panellike the last panel, him just
(28:39):
staying there, the littlepropeller going around, and he
just like look, totaldisappointment, like oh, I do
remember ordering the occasionaltourney like this is going to
be cool.
Shaun (28:45):
When it shows up and you get in, you're like, oh huh,
yeah, this is awful.
Yeah, I don't know how to feelabout this.
I feel cheated.
Nate (28:55):
Well, as you may have guessed, I watched in the
theater opening weekend, but Ibecame confused almost
immediately because gone withthe color for outfits and
characters.
Instead, it looked like afuturistic, futuristic version
of Mad Max, shot entirely atnight on empty stages.
Dolph Lunger had muscles of heman, but he had a gun and
shoulder pads.
Skeletor played by FrankLangella is, I would say,
(29:16):
lingela Langella.
I think it's Langella.
Shaun (29:19):
And you sound more exotic and fancier.
Nate (29:22):
Skeletor, played by Frank Langella, who's actually like a
legit actor, had won the war andtaken over Castle Grants goal
Thanks to the character Gwildorand his cosmic key.
There are actually several newcharacters aside from him
introduced.
Most of them were villains andthey were all just terrible.
I mean, I think maybe theyspent four minutes total for
each character they added.
(29:42):
I mean, the only character Iactually kind of liked that
thought was cool was a charactercame in Sorod.
He was like an armor and lizardbut he dies like almost
immediately.
He's in the first fight with heman.
He gets knocked down like he'snothing and then Skeletor kills
him is like look how evil I am.
Shaun (29:59):
Come on, man.
See, I mean, maybe it's for thebest for that character.
They died right away and stayedcool, because if he had lived
through the entire movie hemight have gotten really lame in
a hurry.
Nate (30:08):
Well, and I actually I looked at this toy like when I
was researching I'm like whatwas his name again, because I
remembered, you know, the wholething.
The toy looked awful.
I mean, I mean not like thehuman characters were ever like
great, but even on the scale ofhe man characters from back in
the 80s they did not look good.
Yeah, but he man, tila man andarms of Gwildor go to earth to
(30:30):
meet some teenagers who ofcourse, did not look like
teenagers.
Shaun (30:35):
I'm 28 years old.
I'm going to play a teenager.
Nate (30:38):
And it's actually one of my favorite scenes in there.
I thought it actually holdsimplications about the attorney.
There was a scene where theyshow up to like a chicken, like
a KFC, but one KFC and theysteal some food from them.
They're eating it.
They're like what are thesesticks on there?
And when he man, I was like oh,they're bones, they're
horrified bones.
You mean this used to be aliveand like wait time out.
Are you telling me Eternia?
(30:59):
Are you telling me with themassive muscles that are walking
around?
You know from everybody they'revegetarians, are you?
Are you trying to like?
What kind of plants do you have?
Shaun (31:10):
in your ear.
Yeah, he managed veganindoctrination for the kids back
in the 80s, but I alwaysthought that was kind of like,
not just kind of weird.
Nate (31:17):
Yeah, it was just.
It was a weird add on and itputs I don't know my thing.
I just love the look of horroron their face when they're
eating meat and like yeah,that's right.
Shaun (31:25):
Tastes great, so matter of thing you could eat.
Nate (31:29):
Yeah, matter of thing seem .
You like yeah, he's like yeah,in battle sometimes you can.
Shaun (31:34):
Right, he's just like yeah, well, back during the
Holocaust, when I was a kid wehad to eat what we could, I
don't know, in the future.
Nate (31:40):
Now, you like you know the chickens probably sent you to.
They're like no, please do not.
Shaun (31:46):
So it is all the animals on planet, or sentient, so you
actually have to, like, talk toit as you're about to butcher it
.
Please rethink about to eat me.
No, no, no, I'm really hungry.
Nate (31:54):
So amongst these teenagers , Courtney Cox was one of them,
but she was.
There was only a second movieand she did fine.
I mean, it was a decent fishthat wore a story.
It was entertaining, it was the.
But that story quickly falls bythe wayside from like some low
budget action, especially when Iwas going to say wasn't Delph
Lundren a pretty big actor atthis time too?
Shaun (32:14):
No, he was awful.
He was before Rocky Four.
Nate (32:17):
Yes, no, before.
Rocky Four is before this, butbut like he wasn't.
So he was recognizable but hewasn't Delph Lundren.
You know it was because evenRocky Four he was, he was like
almost like Mr T we're.
I mean, this T had a biggercareer after I don't know if he
did, because he had the A team,but like he was big he was
(32:40):
recognizable but he wasn't likea name.
You know what I mean.
Shaun (32:44):
Yeah.
He was that big, scary Russiandude who's going to take over
America?
Nate (32:49):
It wouldn't like you walk up to some random kid, like you
know, delph Lundren, like who?
Yeah, it wasn't like.
Oh, it's this ArnoldSchwarzenegger.
Yeah.
Shaun (32:57):
He's a dude who beat up Rocky.
Nate (33:02):
Yeah.
So eventually, with the dumbestparts of the whole movie,
skeletor invades Earth.
He gets the cosmic key and goesback to the attorney and of
course, when they invade it'snot just at night.
No one's on the street, nocivilians are hurt and no one
sees anything.
No one's affected by thisinvasion.
He shows up, his army, comesthrough the like, a whole like
(33:23):
fancy parade, going through thestreets and literally not a
single person.
Shaun (33:28):
It's what they're budgeting.
The movie is like well, we caneither pay all the paperwork and
stuff and have the city shutdown for these hours, or we can
just shoot it at seven pm, Rightbefore people go to bed.
Nate (33:38):
And the way Skeletor gets the cosmic key back, which the
whole the MacGuffin about thiswhole movie is the cosmic key.
But Skeletor catches the humansand he threatens to kill them
unless he man surrenders.
So he man does and it's likewhat's terrible tactics.
I mean you're fate of the worldon your line, on the line and
you just immediately surrenderbecause he catches two randos
(33:59):
you met like five minutes ago.
I mean, I know it's heartless,but yeah right.
Shaun (34:04):
It's like hey, Nate, give me the ultimate weapon of
destruction that will destroyevery, kill everybody on this
planet, or I'm going to punchthis puppy.
Nate (34:11):
Yeah, I mean, it's not even this earth, but like your
planet.
Yeah, I know you're a hero, soyou don't necessarily want an
innocent planet that's notinvolved be destroyed.
But priority list, yeah, thisis like.
Shaun (34:22):
this is like the trolley problem.
Right, you know you got theentire universe on one track and
like two kids you don't evenreally like on the other.
So I'm going to marry DavidArquette.
Nate (34:32):
So he gets whisked off and then those left behind make
another cosmic key Thanks tosynthesizers.
Because 80s you go to a musicstore and they're like, oh, look
at Goulders.
Like what happened was one ofthem whistles and the guy
whistled for the teenagers.
And you know, this guy wasLieutenant Paris from Star Trek
Voyagers, the only thing I knowhim from.
(34:54):
So he was, and I'm not, Iwasn't big in the four-hanger,
but that's just if anybodylistening that's who it was.
So he whistled and Goulderslike what is that?
You're making music from yourmouth.
It's like time out again.
I had to ask Is the concept ofmusic on attorney not exist?
Shaun (35:13):
I mean, right, or just the ability to like blow air out
of your mouth.
It's like what, why is therenoise coming out of that hole in
your face?
It's like well, it's coming outof your hole in your face too,
buddy.
Nate (35:23):
And so they break into a music store and go straight for
synthesizer and like.
So he starts playing music andwell then he gives it to the
human.
He's like you, human, you mustdo this.
Like, didn't you make it?
Like you think, as the creatorof this thing, you would know
what to do, instead of givingsome random kid who, like
(35:46):
doesn't know anything let's bereal, he doesn't.
I mean, he was a musician, kindof.
They barely gave him abackstory.
The only backstory they gaveanybody was, you know, the girl,
but anyway.
So humans, they get the cosmickey.
He makes it free, al Toractually gets powered up and
then the final fight begins.
Here's the stages set.
I've bypassed a lot of stuff,but who cares?
(36:07):
Stage set.
Shaun (36:09):
There was a lot of filler and boring stuff in there.
Nate (36:11):
Yes, there was other things that were happening.
Shaun (36:13):
Yeah, he meant people are going to sit in a bush and talk
about stuff for a while.
Nate (36:16):
They actually did evil in a pretty cool Like I'll be
honest with you, like the thingwas like T, that was supposed to
be kind of like the bombshell.
But I'll tell you what, betweenthe two, evil in was more.
Oh yeah, totally yeah, oh man,her eyes.
Oh, anyway, forget about it.
At this point production was nowout of money.
Like what was supposed to be anepic fight, would seem, between
(36:36):
two powerful warriors becamelike two dudes moving very
little as bright lights flashedbehind them.
It was very interwebbing, ofcourse.
He then wins, scaletor fallsoff at a nearby pit as they do,
and everyone's happyCelebrations ensues.
Courtney Cox and Lieutenant TomParis, as I mentioned earlier,
are sent back to Earth.
But when one little amusingthing that kind of dawned on me
(36:58):
as I was writing this and Ididn't realize it back in the
time, there was a side storythat Courtney Cox parents died
of plane crash.
That was her whole thing.
Oh, my parents.
She drops that hints likelittle crumbs going through the
whole movie.
My parents, when they get sentback to Earth, they're sent back
in the back in time, just it,just before they leave to go in
(37:19):
their doom flight.
So she gets there and stops herparents from dying.
But that would create timeparadox, because the entire
reason she ran into a he-man andher friends was because she was
about to leave town, becauseher parents were dead.
Shaun (37:35):
And that's why she just now stuck in a groundhog day
situation till the end of time.
Yeah, I mean like never endinglooping hell of trying to rescue
her parents.
Nate (37:43):
Right, I mean so like um, but they of course obviously
know one of the movie.
Like I can't fault the writersbecause I'm not stuck, or two.
Shaun (37:54):
I mean you could, but I mean I mean well, if I fault
them for this.
Nate (37:58):
There are so many egregious things that happen in
this movie that's kind of like ayou know a side thing.
If you think too long, thereare plenty of other plot holes
that are honestly just havingthem go to earth and meet
earthlings was dumb plot idea.
Shaun (38:10):
They should just had everything happen on Eternia
with wild.
You know high expectations andadventures and well, that would
take money.
Nate (38:17):
Monsters, it would.
That was the problem.
Well, I'll touch on that in asecond.
But as the credits rolled youknow the movie is over I was at
the opening weekend and thecredits were rolling and I was
actually walking down the aisleto leave, like I remember we
were leaving out from behind thescreen, so we didn't turn
around and go back where we camein.
We are going down to the screenand go out the back way.
You're slowly going out therewatching the credits go by.
(38:39):
And then something happenedthat blew my fucking mind.
You're nearly out of thetheater and also the first in
credit scene at Earth scenehappened.
It was the camera pans withsome bubbling water and Scow
towards head, pops out anddeclares I'll be back.
But he wasn't.
Yeah never.
Shaun (38:56):
And then the rain exploded Like oh my God, right,
what?
Nate (39:01):
After that, after that for a while, like when I would like
written VHS and more stuff.
I always fast forward to theend to see there's in credits.
You know it was like it was aMarvel thing before the Marvel
thing and then of course, almostnobody did it Very few.
Shaun (39:15):
I remember a tiny handful of movies doing it.
Yeah, very, it did happen.
Nate (39:19):
It's not that it didn't, but yeah that just that set me
up for disappointment.
Shaun (39:24):
Yeah, I think the only other one that pops in top my
head is, I think killer clownsfrom outer space did it back
then A couple of like supercheesy horror movies, like super
cheesy low budget.
Nate (39:33):
But yeah, I might be wrong on that.
Well, after the, after I sawthe movie, I was in the
afterglow and it hadn't quitehit me how bad it was.
You know, safety had me with afan of mess.
Shaun (39:42):
You know sugar and popcorn and stuff like that.
Nate (39:45):
Yeah, like you were a fan of mess, I left.
That was older obviously.
But like you know, when I leftthat movie I'm like, oh yes,
that was.
And then it slowly just kind ofdawn to you Like you saw like a
hate crime.
Shaun (39:56):
You're just kind of like I know exactly what you mean
when somebody's like did youlike that movie?
Yeah, it was good.
And then you start thinkingabout it a few days after.
It's like did I like it though?
Nate (40:03):
Do I really do Like?
Shaun (40:05):
oh no, people scoff like I heard you like that piece of
crap movie.
I'm like, no, I don't think.
Nate (40:09):
I know, yeah, I did, but not anymore.
I actually started thinkingabout what I saw.
Shaun (40:14):
Yeah, and it took time to soak it in and process.
I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no.
Nate (40:19):
Well, dear my research, I actually found a nice little
thing where Frank Legilla, youknow, said Skelter to the day
was still one of his favoriteroles, Like he didn't know
anything about Master of theUniverse, but his kids loved and
pushed him to get very muchlike Raul Julia did for M Bison
a street fighter, that's what.
I thought of.
But although Legilla didn'thave any amazing speeches for
like for me with a Tuesday, youknow that's still.
(40:40):
I love that yes man Still upthere.
But Frank Legilla actually didadd one of his own lines.
He stuck this in there and Ireally love this line.
So I want to say it.
I don't know, I'm going to try,I'm going to do another bad
impression.
So this is a really cool line.
He goes tell me the lonelinessof good, he man, is it equal to
(41:00):
the lonely lens of evil?
But awesome, what a bad linethat's.
I don't know, I just love thatline Like tell me the loneliness
of good is equal to theloneliness of evil.
Like that, of course, hemanaged for his IQ of 72, just
freezes up and is like huh.
Shaun (41:15):
That's what a Skeletor stabs him.
I like roses.
What yeah?
My cat's breath smells like catfood.
Nate (41:23):
The movie did not do well.
They made 17.3 million backfrom the budget of 22 million.
The critics tore it apart andit was well deserved.
You know, many of the issuescan be laid to Fiamma Tell
because they refused to pay ontime.
They had a very small budgetand they tried to micromanage
the director every term, likealmost for the jump, like they.
At one point the crew actuallyquit filming.
(41:45):
They like covered up theircameras and refused to turn
anything on because they're likeuntil you pay us, we're not,
we're done.
Shaun (41:56):
And so Mattel.
Mattel forgot about rule 101 ofmaking a movie you pay people
to do shit.
Nate (42:01):
Right.
I mean again, like I mentionedearlier, like they ran out of
money for the final fight.
It was actually done.
That fight was done in abasement of some studio with
only like Lundgren, langella andlike a couple people in there.
That was it.
So it really was just two guysin a room Like they didn't do a
big fight scene because therewas nowhere.
If they took two star and theywalked too far back they would
(42:23):
hit a wall.
Shaun (42:25):
It was Lundren, the other dude like a guy running the
camera and the janitor juststaying around waiting to lock
up after they're done.
Exactly, yeah, make another,make a mess.
I got cleaned up beyond here by11.
Nate (42:37):
Well, another thing was going against the movie that
came out two years too late.
Remember, the cartoon ended in1985.
That was when they needed astrike.
Well, they needed a strikebetween.
Honestly, the best time tostrike was 1984.
Yeah, so it's maybe three yearstoo late, right in the middle
of that, like the height of thecartoon.
Shaun (42:53):
And yeah, it's like by that time Transformers had taken
some of the hype or some othercartoons.
And I said I was here afterthat, wasn't it?
Nate (43:01):
I think so.
I mean, I was still.
Obviously I was still on He-ManLike the show ended, but I
still played with it.
I was still excited for themovie that came out.
I got the magazine, everything.
I was still into it, but I was.
I was the exception of the roleyou know there's and I remember
when I went and saw that movietheater we were one of the few
people in there, so it wasn'tlike I went and saw the packed
(43:21):
house, we saw it and there wereplenty of seats to choose from.
Shaun (43:27):
You're like, oh my, this doesn't bode well.
Well, at the time I was justtoo excited.
Nate (43:32):
I again, I was, I was still into it, so I was too
excited, you're fucking apopcorn, your little pinnet flag
that says He-Man on it.
Shaun (43:39):
And you just get little pinnet flags everywhere for like
free or cheap, like thoselittle felt flags, and just say
something.
Nate (43:45):
Oh yeah.
Shaun (43:46):
I don't know why that just popped in my head.
But just young Nathan with onedozen hands this is He-Man and
big popcorn.
I'm like, yeah, I'm excitedthis is going to be the greatest
day of my life.
Nate (43:55):
Well, I remember my dad tried to get me to collect, like
collect something.
He like you just collect pinsand patches.
I'm like, ok, I didn't getabout pins and patches, I want
to play comics.
And so that's what I was doing.
Like I would he give me a pinlike, hey, thanks Me, why go to
the comic store?
I got by all these.
Shaun (44:11):
And he's like but for the price for a comic book you can
buy lots of pins and patches andyou're like I don't care, old
man.
Nate (44:17):
Yeah, I think you finally realized.
I just do, I don't care, likeyou might like the patches by
now.
Shaun (44:21):
Yeah, that's something he likes and not something you
liked.
Nate (44:25):
That's it for this episode on He-Man.
Next episode we'll talk aboutthe master's universe movie, as
well as future of the franchise,including the more recent
cartoons from Kevin Smith.
We'll also talk a little aboutthe death of Superman, as well
as Star Trek, d Space Nine.
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