April 7, 2025 • 49 mins
Dark humor meets true crime in this episode as we explore the twisted mind of Russia's notorious "Chessboard Killer." Alexander Pashushkin, convicted of 48 brutal murders, has just confessed to 11 more killings - bringing him terrifyingly close to his goal of filling every square on a chess board with victims. We dissect how this monster targeted society's most vulnerable while comparing his murderous acts to sexual pleasure, and how even in extreme evil, he fell short of his macabre objective.
On a surprisingly uplifting note, we celebrate our "Bud of the Week" - a man who transformed his life through an unexpected dietary choice. After tipping the scales at 360 pounds and receiving a blunt wake-up call from a nurse, this brave soul committed to daily Chick-fil-A salads and shed an impressive 132 pounds. Though the headlines credit the fast-food chain, we reveal the full story behind his remarkable transformation.
The episode takes a truly bizarre turn when we uncover the story of a West Virginia gravedigger who unearthed a baby's 40-year-old casket and carelessly tossed it down a hill, causing the skeletal remains to go flying as Easter decorators watched in horror. The shocking revelation that this cemetery worker was previously convicted of murder raises serious questions about second chances and who we trust with sacred responsibilities.
We also tackle the eternal question of whether accidental dick pics truly exist (spoiler: they don't), the strange habit of men using household objects as size references in intimate photos, and update you on the Menendez brothers' potential prison release. Between discussions of identity fingerprinting and ranch sauce altercations at McDonald's, we somehow maintain our belief that everything's gonna be OK, bud.
Have a story to share? Email us at okbudpod@gmail.com or support us at patreon.com/diebud.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And then you throw it as hard as you can sideways.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, you got to get a light ball and toss it real
far.
Yeah, hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's gonna be OK
(00:25):
bud.
I am Ben Kissel at Ben KisselOne, joined by Jerry Aquino at
Miss Underscore.
Jerry, that's J-E-R-I-I.
And Kyle Ploof at Kyle Ploof.
Check out the Patreonpatreoncom slash diebud.
We want to thank Bernadette.
She sent us some fantasticgifts.
It's a cross.
(00:46):
I believe this is called across stitch.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yes, and the cross stitch says this too shall pass,
but like holy fuck, thank youso much.
And she also sent a great imageof the Undertaker.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It's so cute.
Just a little tiny cross stitchof Undertaker and a little baby
, A very tiny toy baby.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes with a big old cheese head With a big old
cheese head which I love.
That's how I was born Littlebaby with a big cheese head.
You can imagine what that means.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
Let us know your thoughts aboutwhat we discussed on this
episode.
Send us pictures of your catsor dogs.
(01:25):
I have many things to post onInstagram this week, so thank
you for shooting those cutepictures over.
We are going to start with anemail.
This comes from Brittany.
The entire email is a bitlonger.
We're just going to read thefinal part.
We were discussing accidentaldick pics.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oopsies Accidental.
My foot, that is not.
There's no such thing as anaccidental dick pic.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
No, sometimes the penis grows little hands and
then takes your phone and snapspictures of itself like it's
taking a cocky.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, like the fingerprint thing also takes,
like your penis print.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
The head, the mushroom print.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, did you know?
Did you know fingerprints arenow being debunked.
Oh, what do you mean?
Debunked New science?
They're saying fingerprints arenot as unique as they once
thought.
Oh shit, what?
Yes, before people were likeit's like Snowflakes, yes, no,
yes, they were like snowflakes,each one unique.
Yes, but now they're saying no.
(02:19):
Obviously, with the developmentof DNA, different approaches to
law enforcement, lawenforcement is saying that the
fingerprint might not actuallybe as unique as we once thought.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But anyway, what if they're just kind of getting
lazy about it?
What if it's just like somepeople just looking at some like
mugshot and like thumbprintsand they're like I can't tell
these two apart.
These look the same.
I don't think these are asunique as people say they are.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I put little eyes on them.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah yeah, that'd be kind of cute See how that one
has like a little like starconstellation, that one has the
same star constellation, it'sthe same guy.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Absolutely my father.
I was in third grade and theybrought in law enforcement
because we were going to dofingerprinting day, that law
enforcement because we weregoing to do fingerprinting day.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That's weird.
It was weird, right.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
They did that to us in kindergarten and kept them.
I was like I want that.
They're like no, we're keepingthese.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
They fucking got us.
They had you on file from jump.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
On purpose.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Holy shit Creating the database from.
Imagine if Kyle's charged withmurder and they're like, let's
take a look at his fingerprint.
It's just a little six-year-oldthumb.
It's a tiny one, but I do givemy hair.
The handcuffs don't fit on.
So did you commit this murderwhen you were an infant?
I will give my parents somecredit.
(03:37):
They said no.
They said my son's not going toget fingerprinted.
Good.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Oh my God, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Unless I am arrested, which I have been before.
Then you get the fingerprint.
Then you get the fingerprint.
I ain't just going to go givethese willy-nilly out.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
No, yeah, no, seriously, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Well, speaking of willy-nilly, this is a question,
and again it's coming fromBrittany.
She says the only dick picstories I have is more of a
question.
And and she wants to ask, jerry, why do some dudes hold up
household items to their baloneyponies which is a fun name for
penis, to quote prove how bigthey are?
(04:11):
Can you imagine looking at arandom message from someone you
don't know very well?
And it's a cock being held upto a remote control?
A can of Lysol, a can of Coke,a rolled up pair of tube socks,
a pack of hamburger buns.
I'm sure you get it.
That is something that I wasn'taware, that men do?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Is that common?
That definitely is a commonthing.
And you know what?
I'll tell you what.
I know exactly why they do this, and it's because they think
first of all, guys, they're intodimensions, they're into
dimensions all over the fuckingplace.
They walk into dimensions.
They're into dimensions allover the fucking place.
They walk into a room.
They want to know like whatsize the walls are, how tall the
ceilings go.
They want to know.
They want to know the ins andouts of everything.
(04:51):
Okay, so they think, as soon asyou see a picture of their dick
, let's see first of all thatyou wanted it to begin with.
There's that, but then there'salso.
Yeah, let's say you actuallywanted this.
Then they're like well,obviously she's gonna wonder
like hmm, what, what is thatexactly in real life size?
What is, what are thedimensions?
What's the height, what's thewidth, what's the girth?
(05:11):
Well, I know how I can show heryeah, right just grab on and do
a thing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
It's really strange, okay call me old-fashioned, but
I think you should have to seethe dick in person before you
send the picture, because thenit's's like you want to see it
and that's why you're asking forit.
It's not like oh, I'm justcurious about it.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Let me see what it looks like before, I see it Not
very Cayetola.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
That is not very Cayetola.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Wow, old-fashioned, he's evolving While.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I am not a fan of the DPs which, for this intended
purpose, dick.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
This is purpose.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Dick pics.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Also, we want to thank Bridget once again because
, in order to make a comparisonof the size of if Jerry had a
penis, she also sent us awonderful seasoning Nashville
hot chicken.
Yeah, so thank you.
And if you do send a picture ofyour penis with something like,
this is your average seasoningbottle?
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I think I would probably do something.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, like that.
Yeah, she's taking a mushroomtop and putting it on a rock
star there it is the very tallcan.
But then it seems like it mightbe too large and I've heard
many women complain oh, it's toobig.
It's too big, they say.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
The big ones hurt.
Oh thanks.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
This just hurt my feelings.
Yeah, no, you're so much betterthan my ex.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
My ex was huge.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
No, this is so much better.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, you just really hurt me real bad.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
That's painful, all right.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
All right, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, thank you so much for that message.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
That's hilarious.
You know what else is reallyfunny?
What Someone is what.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What would it be If a girl ever asks you for anal and
like, very easily and willinglydoes it.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
That's you're not you're not super well endowed.
Yeah, that's.
Oh.
Sometimes they're like, no, Idon't want to do this, please
not.
Not with that.
Yeah.
And then sometimes they're likeah, get it, get in there, buddy
, what are you doing?
Get over here, come on, youlittle rascal hurry up and make
it rough that's adorable.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, well, what a lucky guy, the old catholic
condom.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah she's well, I gotta feel it somehow, or?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
another.
I feel like women could maybetake a picture of their vagina
and then, with something ofdepth, yeah To be like I am this
deep Interesting.
Yes perhaps something.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
How would that work?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I don't know exactly.
Take maybe like a cone, yeah,like a funnel of sorts, like a
funnel and then just be like Iwould stop here.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
you know, as far as I don't know, Unsolicited vagina
pics.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I'm sure there's not as many out there but, I'm sure
there are some.
Also some girls that don't thatjust want to hook up with guys.
They just they want to see whatthey're working with before
they go and waste gas, wastetime.
Yes, they're like you know what.
Let me just see what it's likefull grown.
Let's just Just see what it'slike full grown.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Just see what we're working with Right right, I can
know what's going on.
And we did cover a story Ithink it was last week or the
week before where a woman washooking up with a man and it was
too large and they just endedup cuddling.
Isn't that sad?
Wow, what?
Yeah, no right.
Okay, Well speaking of sad,this is our final update on the
Virginia Goofy weird, colossal,fuck that story.
(08:07):
So she's out of the hospital.
It was seven days, seven daysTotal, yes, and now she is out
as of this Monday, april 7th, soshe's three days post-mortem.
She was supposed to die threedays ago, she didn't, and now
she is out of the hospital.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It's not every day you get to double your life
expectancy.
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No, she's doing fantastic, she's in Australia.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Eight days later.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yep, she's in Australia still and God knows
what's going to happen as thisstory kind of continues.
But we are putting a nail inthe coffin period at the end of
this paragraph, because at thispoint we can't just be on
Virginia Goofery is she dead ornot?
Stories.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Her bruises washed off in the shower.
She's good.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, pretty much Good old makeup remover took
care of that.
Well, still hope she doesbetter and hope she gets the
help she needs.
Maybe has some hope andreconciliation with her family
at some point in life.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
There we go.
That's all we can ask for.
Speaking of reconciliation withfamily, the Menendez brothers.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Oh, they did not reconcile.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I don't think they can anymore.
Yeah, parents are all dead.
Yeah, yeah, maybe they couldget like a shaman in there.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Like blown to pieces dead.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Right, you can't put them back together.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
No, no, but again a Ouija board.
And then, if the that's whatthey should do, yeah, bring the
Ouija board into the courtroomduring their hearing of parole
and then have the Ouija board belike let them out.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And they'll be like that was our dad.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Or the dad will be like hold your pants down, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
How weird his dad was .
Speaker 3 (09:41):
He's actually sexy now, his dad was all weird.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I liked you before you aged Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
So his dad was a smoker in the afterlife.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I would assume most pedophiles are smokers.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Well, he got smoked.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, that's for sure , I don't know why.
I just said that about smokers.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I do my best yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, trying to have a smoke.
Yeah, eric and Lyle Menendezhave said for the first time
they are optimistic aboutleaving prison.
There is a new special out,it's called TMZ Presents the
Menendez Brothers.
Ooh.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Which counts like the seventh kind of special about
them.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, there are so many specials, I wonder if
they're still special.
Yeah Right, how special arethey?
So we'll call it the unspecial.
Yeah, tmz presents the MenendezBrothers.
It does sound like it's goingto be like live on Broadway, but
no, it is the prison interview.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Ooh, I'm not going to lie, I do want to see it as
much as I've seen the other ones.
And I'm complaining.
I do want to see it, oh,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
It's going to be interesting.
Lyle says the word hope is newfor them and Eric says he's
striving to be a better personevery day and finally beginning
to like himself.
Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Isn't that nice.
He keeps waking up in themorning in the prison cell
looking at herself and beinglike you know what.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
You're not that bad, eric.
Look at you.
I'm good enough.
I'm smart enough.
I'm good enough.
Yeah, I got kicked out of theSenate for making a joke
photograph, but damn it, I'mstill Al Franken, yep, yep.
So this all depends if they getout or not, if the California
Parole Board finds them nolonger a danger to society.
Again, as we've learned moreabout the killing in recent
(11:26):
years, I don't think they wouldhave killed somebody had the
circumstances not been what theywere Right.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Yes, it definitely seemed like a cry for help, or
that many cries for help wereignored plenty of times
beforehand.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
But then, that being said, you're in prison for 35
years.
It's not going to make you morepeaceful.
So what if, oh God forbid, whatif something does happen?
Who?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
knows they haven't grown in the system at this
point.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
So there's going to be a risk assessment and it's
going to be sent to beautifulgreasy Gavin Newsom's desk for
the June 13th hearing, wherehe'll consider the findings when
deciding whether to grantclemency for Eric and Lyle.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Which one is married, eric.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Eric is married.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
The one with hair is married.
The one, yeah, yeah.
And then Netflix portrayed himout to be gay, basically.
But he went to jail and he fellin love with a fan letter
writer named Tammy and they gotmarried while he was in prison,
and that's been his wife eversince.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Nothing gayer than that.
Getting married in prison and Imentioned this before the show,
but I don't know In prison isone thing, that's one form of
relationship, but if they getout, does that marriage last?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Do they get to just be married in real life in
person, live happily ever after.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I mean at some point.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Or does he come out of the closet divorce her become
a gay icon right in this year'spride flow.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
He could.
Nothing is off the table.
It's 2025.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I would be so down for that.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Nothing is off the table.
It's 2025.
I would be so down for that.
Nothing is off the table.
My question if you're her rightLike, yes, you have this nice
relationship, it's a pen pal.
You have maybe some conjugalvisits, but then all of a sudden
he's there every day.
I know 24 hours a day.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Oh my God, that would be so annoying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
You gotta listen to him snoring Sn snoring, farting
shitting.
My favorite thing about you wasthe prison part, because we
could speak for 30 minutes andit was finite.
And it was hot and passionatebecause we know we didn't have
long yeah, but then all of asudden you got five hours in an
applebee's yeah, just staring ateach other, just looking at
each other he's making prisonwine in the in the toilet.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Now that's a bonus that's weird kind of kind of
makes you miss the third womanin the phone call, being like
your time is running out in fiveminutes for this correctional
facility center.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Part of her is just like thank God I got fucking
bowling club today.
Get off the phone, lyle.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Someone's got to bowl .
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So, anyway, those are the updates on those two
stories that seem to be Well.
One, virginia Gufri, is done.
We're done.
Talking about her butt with theMenendez brothers.
That will sort of be solvedmid-year and who knows what
happens.
All right, woo, this story isabsolutely disgusting.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
We're going to Mother Russia.
Oh no, oh no, Come on.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yes, in Russia, the knife stab you.
I don't remember what YakovSmirnoff was all about.
Yakov Smirnoff.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
You don't know him.
Yeah, she's too young.
Very funny, very, very.
He's still performing over atDollywood or Branson, no.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
He performs in Branson.
Fuck yeah, hang out with allthe old fogies.
Something tells me, if you tooka bunch of mushrooms, you could
go to Branson without actuallygoing to Branson.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh yeah, just eat a bunch of oatmeal and call my
doctor and scream because I'mnot pooping.
Right, most people just yellabout that.
So a twisted, notorious serialkiller.
He went by the name ChessboardKiller.
Chessboard Killer, okay.
He brutally slaughtered 48people.
(15:11):
He was convicted of 48 murders,jesus.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Where do you find the time?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Right, I don't, my God, I guess it's Russia.
Not a lot to do this dude.
He compared killing people tohaving an orgasm.
Okay, so obviously he did thisfor sexual reasons.
Wow, 48,.
You think that's a lot?
Well, you're about to tack on11 more.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
He is poised to confess to 11 more murders.
His name is AlexanderPashushkin.
He is 50 years old.
He targeted mostly homelesspeople, alcoholics and the
elderly.
He would bludgeon them to deathwith a hammer.
He is now being held at thePolar Owl Prison, I believe, and
(16:02):
this is considered one of theworst prisons in the world.
It's in ice cold Russia.
There is nothing aroundwhatsoever, and rarely do I say
it.
This makes the US prison systemlook almost humane.
So that's wild.
Pashushkin.
He has, quote declared hisreadiness to confess to have
(16:25):
committing 11 more murders ofmen and women.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
What's making him all ready all of a sudden?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I think that he is really sick and tired of however
they're treating him and maybethis gets him out at least in a
courtroom for a little while.
Some pickleball maybe, maybe apickleball Right for a little
while.
Some pickleball, maybe, maybe apickleball Right.
So his crimes pre-rent wentfrom 1992 to 2006.
Wow, he got the name chessboardkiller because when he was
(16:55):
talking to authorities he said Iwant to have enough victims to
fill out every square of achessboard.
Oh, wow.
So it wasn't like that's theone thing with these nicknames.
So it wasn't like that's theone thing with these nicknames.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
It makes him sound like oh, that's because smart.
Yeah, no, he's a fucking moron.
No, yeah, he looks like a bigdangerous brute.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yes, he's a big idiot who killed the most vulnerable
people in society.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, seriously over and drunk and can't help
themselves and the elderly Right.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
He's still five short , because I think it's 64 on a
chessboard right.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yes, it's 64 on a chessboard, so he still didn't
complete his challenge.
Yeah, he's still a loser.
What a weenie.
So he's currently servingmultiple life sentence again at
the Polar Owl Jail.
It's in the Russian Arctic.
However, he is also, strangelyenough, known to receive a lot
of love letters from women.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Oh, my God why?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I don't know why would they?
They're idiots, not that itmatters particularly, but he's
like an ugly dude.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, he's all weird looking and dead-eyed, yeah, but
I guess, you know women, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You explain it, Jerry .
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Women are always women, always like to have like
this weird psychological flip ofcontrol of like I can get ahead
of this by befriending thedangerous thing that will then
not be dangerous to me, Right?
And then they get bludgeoned todeath.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Right, yes, and of course he's behind bars, so he
can't hurt them, unless he goesin front of the parole board and
then he's out and they're likehey, buddy, I was joking.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
All those labia pictures I sent you.
Those were just a tease, so theannouncement comes as a
surprise, as the killer firstconfessed to additional
executions.
At the time he said there were12 additional more killings, but
now he says no, no, no, just 11.
Wow, okay, even if he wouldhave confessed to the 12, to
(18:49):
Kyle's point, that's not enough.
Nope, still not enough.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
The who is a her.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
We got to get this the chessboard killer.
It's not the chessboard killer,no.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
No, something different, more like a checkers
killer.
Yeah, you play checkers, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Or maybe I don't even know what's another board game
that involves squares.
Connect Four yeah, he's theConnect Four killer you putz.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, yeah, there it is.
You really really told him.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
There's 42 holes in Connect Four, so he's the
Connect Four killer, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It's actually kind of cooler.
That's more universal.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Connect Four killer.
Wow, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, I'm so sick of these chess players.
There's this guy, this Russiandude, who's really good.
Now they tried to ban himbecause he wore jeans.
What?
Yeah, oh, they're just petty.
They are petty.
And then he's like, fine, I'mnot going to fucking play then.
And then they were like fine,you can wear jeans.
That was the biggest check.
Yeah, he's like really smart,but like he's really really
smart, so he looks all dumbRight right, he is handcuffed.
(19:50):
They call him the Bitsa Maniac.
The Bitsa Maniac, that's whatthey say.
They say as they call me, it isme.
In fact, I committed 61 murders, 60.
This is the killer talking.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Bragging.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Of course.
What else is he going to bragabout?
Like he made sourdough one day,right.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
This is all he's ever done.
He worked hard for this.
In a strange way he did yeah,he says 60 of them in Bitsa Park
and in the city he killed one.
So he killed one person inMoscow, but most took place in a
place called Bitsa.
He says most of the bodies Idrowned in sewage wells, Jesus
(20:32):
Yuck.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
I mean honestly just, and they were from 92 to 2006.
Again, that's a lot of murdersto commit.
It is In that short amount oftime.
While you're what?
Like holding, are you holdingdown a job?
Like, how are you funding, likethe weapons that you use?
And like, where do you put them?
How do you carry them places?
How do you go unseen do?
(20:53):
you switch clothes.
That's a lot of clothes to washblood out of.
Are we doing laundry?
Are you doing laundry services?
Are you getting them dry clean?
Doing a patrick bateman thinglike can you just get this wine
stain off?
Do they?
What are you doing, do they?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
even have dry cleaning in russia.
Whoa they?
I don't know.
So he says yeah, most of thebodies are drowned in sewage
wells.
Why did I kill?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
He says I don't know oh, that's not a good answer I
don't know, I don't know well,why wouldn't I kill the fucking
douche because I wanted to yeah,why'd you kill my whole family?
I don't know it's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
He says I don't know.
But then he goes on to say Ithink why he did it.
He says there was no sense inlife for me without this.
So his whole identity was likeI'm a serial killer he is.
He was a black hole of a personyes, and it must be difficult
to tell everyone your truepassion, because your true
passion is extremely illegal andscary and dangerous.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So I don't know what.
I guess he probably wasn't verycharming.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was probably feeling like
Britney Spears all.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You think he's the Britney Spears of serial killers
?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
He's the Britney Spears of serial killers.
You think he's the BritneySpears of serial killers?
He's the Britney Spears ofserial killers.
He's like.
No one understands me.
I kill and I kill, but I stillgo home and I cry, cry, cry.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
She doesn't juggle hammers, which would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
She does not.
No, that would be cool.
She could step it up.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I've been team Britney since day one.
You better leave that womanalone.
She's just having fun withknives.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You just let her do her thing.
Okay, I'm not going to stop her.
You're going to take the knifeaway from Britney Spears?
Absolutely not.
No, I'm here for the knives.
Gift her another one, the onewe have here.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Also remember when she shaved her head.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
No one called her Britney Shears.
Oh, probably should have Isthat a missed opportunity.
Yeah, majorly yeah.
It only took me 20 years tocome up with that.
Remember that, Like 1998,remember that.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Hey, we should have called her that 27 years ago.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, you fucking idiots didn't call her that.
You guys aren't very good, yeah.
So in 2006, this D-bag, heconfessed.
And the strange thing, hisconfession came after he was
tricked into thinking he wasspeaking at a live press
conference.
What so?
They're like buddy, youridentity.
You're a serial killer.
Come on down to the pressconference like it's a game show
(23:08):
.
Yeah, then police.
Apparently they had the sessionall set up after he said he
would only confess.
I hate this guy so much.
He said he would only confesson live TV.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Oh, Okay, so they had to pretend that they were
making a spectacle, that theywere entertaining his demands.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yes, he wants to be like a little dumb joker and
he's like I'll go on livetelevision and confess my crimes
.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
So he later admitted in an interview from his top
security jail that killing eachperson quote brought me colossal
pleasure.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Colossal pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes, colossal pleasure.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
A cornucopia of murder pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And again he says it is comparable to an orgasm.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
How would he know?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I think he probably had an orgasm when he was
killing these people, yeahthat's gross.
It was revealed in 2021 that avictim who was attacked and left
for dead in a sewer had givencops his name and address after
he had killed 24 people, butthey still didn't get him.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Holy jeez that was in 2002.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Why not 2002.
So from 2002 and 2006, he hadthose four years where he really
amped it up and killed a bunchof people because cops were like
, nah, he's a Russian guy, hewould never try to kill and stab
you and leave you in a sewer.
He's a Russian.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Why I don't understand why they didn't take
him.
They didn't take his word forit 2002 Russia.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I have a feeling.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They didn't care.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yes, and I think 2025 russia they probably don't care
as a matter of fact, he mightbe released to fight the war.
Yeah, seriously yes, sopashushkin had only one aim,
which was brutally to kill andkill her.
This is what she says.
She says I saw an open sewage.
Well, pashushkin grabbed myhair and started banging my head
against the iron.
(25:05):
Well cover.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Ow.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Oh, brutal.
And then he said I knew he.
She says I knew he would killme.
Then she fell 25 feet Damn Intothe sewage.
Well, oh my God, but shesurvived after her screams for
help were finally heard.
The lazy cop.
His name was Kalishnikov.
(25:27):
Wow, Kalishnikov, Nice.
He says he was not interestedin probing the attack on her.
Wow, this is interesting.
Unlike in America in many ways,the policeman was jailed.
Good For incompetence.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
But yeah, I mean, I think he should almost be held
accountable for what?
30 murders, 30 more murdersyeah.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
She's lucky she didn't get like an infection
just from being in there.
That'll kill you.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
What a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Oh my God, the smell and this picture is taken when
he was still, you know, not inprison.
For all these years.
He had long hair.
I mean, he's not.
He doesn't stand out as like oh, that guy's going to dump me
down a sewage.
Well, he looks pretty base,Right.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
He looks pretty, pretty scary, though Something
about his eyes.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
They definitely go dark.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
They definitely do go dark.
So, anyway, he is now confessedto 11 more murders, but again,
he's doing it all for the press,which is just so gross.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Which is not even there.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, which is like what do you do?
Yeah, you know the big rush,the whole Russian reality show
run that he could have.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It is weird that the only thing they love more than
killing is notoriety.
Being like I did that yeah, Iknow they're like now look at me
on a horse.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
That's fun.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
so yeah, I mean, everyone loves a good horse.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yes, well, let's move on to a story.
Let's do a positive story.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Oh, yes, please I think we need one.
I want a happy thing.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And I think we have Bud of the Week and it's coming
on Monday.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Wow, uh-oh.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
That means it's only.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Maybe you're just really excited because last week
was such a dud.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Well, there was just no buds.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I think the Bud of the week turned out to be human
flesh.
They were all duds.
Yeah, I know A Rhode Island man.
He has lost 132 pounds, goodjob.
How did he do it, you may ask.
Did he run?
Did he exercise?
Yeah, yeah, did he.
Did he take Wigovie, like Mattand like I do, because I'm cool?
Yeah, yeah, and everyone cooltakes Wigobi.
(27:39):
Yeah, no, he ate Chick-fil-A,he says every day for more than
a year.
The only problem I have and I'mnot because he is butt of the
week, what?
The only problem is he can'teat Chick-fil-A every day
because Because, Closed on.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Sunday Closed on Sundays because they're
homophobic.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Well no, not because they're homophobic Right.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Well, no, not because they're homophobic, but because
they say we need a day of restso that we can, you know go Love
Jesus and hate gays.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Hate gays more efficiently, right?
Yes, with more passion.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Exactly Politicizing the chicken.
What's next?
Okay, A Rhode Island man hascredited Chick-fil-A for saving
his life.
Oh my, he lost 132 poundseating at the fancy little chain
and he would get.
You know what he would getevery day for over a year?
What the spicy Southwest salad?
(28:29):
Oh, what the spicy Southwestsalad All right.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
So he lost 132 pounds , but he gained a fuckload of
acid reflux disease.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yes, yes, and maybe a couple of farts, although they
do say when you fart that is aphysical exercise in many ways.
Yes, and maybe a couple offarts, although they do say when
you fart that is a physicalexercise in many ways.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Who says that?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I don't know, I don't know.
I tell Jerry that my dog, whenI fart all night.
And then I say Papa's got to behealthy.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
It's an exercise.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Right, the man's name is Tom Carroll.
He's six foot two, Big boy.
Also Tom Carroll.
Now that you're thespokesperson for Chick-fil-A
weight loss, check your searchengines.
Make sure there's no CP inthere.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
That's what Jeff just said.
Yep, he better not be anotherSubway Jared.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
No Subway Jared here, Tom, because you're butt of the
week, Tom.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Oh God, Pressure's on now.
If I find out anything you'vedone with a child, I'm going to
revoke your butt of the week.
Oh boy, this is supposed to be,a positive story.
Well it's.
You know, everything's going tobe okay, bud, but then all we
talk about is how everything'shorrible.
That's right, bud he is.
Oh no, this is going to getscarier and scarier.
(29:38):
He's a digital content producer?
Oh, I'm sure he is Digitalcontent.
Yes, he works at a local radiostation in Boston.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, I don't trust him already.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah, oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I don't like the way he's smiling.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, he's our Bud of the Week.
So he started his journey inJuly of 2023, when he stepped on
a scale after a wedding inSyracuse, and he weighed 360
pounds.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
You waited until after the wedding?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, Well, it wasn't his wedding, it was his
friend's wedding, I know.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, but he's like I didn't look good in the suit.
How bad is it?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I mean, I kind of asked my buddy Mike if they
could trim me down a little bitin the photos.
Yeah, trim me down a little bitin the photos.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yeah, I don't think they did, though.
Maybe just yeah, just like.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
He also put me right in the front.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Put it, put it in Photoshop and just like stretch
it out long ways.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, but I'm already so fucking tall.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
But then everyone.
But then you stretch everyone.
So you stretch everyone elselong ways, Then you stretch your
out, you out like sideways.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Is your groom Harry Slenderman.
Okay, this is what Carol wrote.
He says I had never seen it sohigh.
When it came to his weight, Ihad never seen it so high.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That's why don't weigh yourself.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And then he said but if I'm being completely honest
with myself, it had been ahigher and higher.
Oh no, he says, if I had beencompletely honest with myself,
it had probably been higher atvarious points that summer he
was having Fat Boy Summer.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Fat Boy Summer Cannonball.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I only wear t-shirts in the water.
He says I would have neverknown, because that was the
first time I stepped on a scalesince the fall of 2019.
Wow, so that's a lot of timehas passed.
Yeah, he went through all ofCOVID, all of everything else
and then finally got back on ascale and he was 360.
(31:32):
He's only 34 years old.
Then he went to the doctor andthe nurse was like because all
nurses do this, they're likeyou're going to die.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You're going to die tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
And I feel like the nurses You're going to die in
four days.
Yeah, and I think the nursesenjoy doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Well, yeah, they're always.
They're there to be like tis,tis, tis.
They're there to give you, likethe disappointing mom nod.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Mm-mm.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Mm-mm.
The job description.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
This is your chart.
Yep, look at your chart.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I know, look at it, I am looking at it.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Do you want to die?
Oh, ma'am, no.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
The only nurse I need to tell me is just I need a
heavy set black woman, and Iwill listen to every word that
she says.
We'll follow that direction.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yeah, no, literally Please.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Lord.
So he says the nurse at my newdoctor's office told me I was
346 pounds.
A nurse at my new doctor'soffice told me I was 346 pounds.
That's good eating.
I joked with her.
He made a joke.
He joked that's good eating.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
So he's a charmer, this one.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, he works for Boston Radio.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Only the most charming people work for local
Boston Radio.
Ah, yes, yes, of course.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
How could I?
Speaker 2 (32:36):
forget.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Can you say align your chakras, align your fucking
chakras everybody.
Very good, go Red Sox.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's how you inhale .
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So the nurse quit back.
So he says that's a lot of goodeating.
And then the nurse says untilit ain't.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Oh yes, snap back.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And then he says I didn't ask for a clarification,
obviously had internally died onimpact.
As soon as she said it, shecrushed this guy with three
words until it ain't yeah, sassyour ass Internally died on.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Impact is incredible Wow.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I didn't ask for a clarification.
He's like whoa I don't know howto respond to that I am
deceased.
Yes, so because of that, theproducer didn't want to see a
doctor because he was soembarrassed.
So, this woman, you've got totoughen up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
She ran him out of that room.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Seriously, he says, well, that's good eating.
And then she's like until itate.
And then he's like then he'sdead.
Yeah, I can never financiallyrecover from this.
So he just stopped going to thedoctor for five years and then
I don't know.
But he was like fuck this.
(33:56):
So Black Friday in 2023, hewent to Chick-fil-A.
He says he thought he washaving a heart attack while
having Thanksgiving leftoverswith some of his friends.
So he wrote I had never feltanything like it before.
I hope to never feel anythinglike it again.
This was the closest I haveever felt to death, other than
(34:18):
when that nurse says, yeah, tillit ain't Till it ain't so.
According to all sources,carol's daily lunch consists of
mixed greens, tomatoes, roastedcorn, black beans, chilies, red
peppers, cheese and grilledchicken, aka the spicy Southwest
(34:39):
chicken salad.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
And he has that once a day, every day, or he has it
for like breakfast, lunch anddinner every day.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
They say, just lunch.
So the meal itself it's notlike that healthy.
It's 680 calories.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah, for a salad, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Right, because it also includes tortilla strips,
pe papitas and creamy saladdressing.
Yeah, so it's more of a tacosalad.
Yeah, I guess that's theSouthwest.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Southwest situation yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yes, this is.
He was discussing his weightbefore the meal change.
He says it was awful.
Going up and downstairs was anissue.
Sitting on an airplane andgetting a seatbelt put on was an
absolute challenge, which Iunderstand.
That you need extenders.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Is it hard to reach behind you and pull it, or is it
because it doesn't pull all theway, you can't plug it in?
What are we talking about?
Oh, seatbelts, yep.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yes, and in some cases, when I was even heavier
than I am now sure, sure yes.
And in some cases, when I waseven heavier than I am now Sure,
sure yes, I have had anextender.
And is it a point of pride?
Yeah, I did that shit.
Did I Look at everyone and say,yeah, you fucking idiots, you
don't even need extenders?
Losers, I thought this wascalled American Airlines.
That's so true.
Not fucking Air Canada.
(35:55):
You skinny fucks Ethiopia.
Very true.
So he says finding clothes thatfit and feeling.
That's so true, not fucking AirCanada.
Yeah, you skinny fucks Ethiopia, very true.
So he says finding clothes thatfit and feeling good when you
dress up.
It wasn't fun.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
No, he wasn't having any fun.
It doesn't sound like he'shaving a ball at the tall guy,
big guy store.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Which that's sad.
Because I love my big and tallstores, I go to Destination
Extra Large.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Destination Extra Large and in charge it's not
just a strip club in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
It's a lifestyle Okay , and if you go to a DXL, I'm
going to bring you with me oneday, jerry.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
I would love to.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
All the mannequins are huge.
Yeah, the mannequins are alllike my size.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Really yeah, I've never seen anything like it.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Is it men's and women's?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
No seen anything like it Is it men's and women's.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
No, that's called dress barn for women.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
DXL is just men.
That's true, it's a multiverse.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
When you walk in there you're like oh, everyone's
this big, and the small sizesstart at triple extra large.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
That's amazing.
That's awesome.
You can just pop right into onepant leg.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Seriously, you would die in them in those pants?
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Oh, that sounds nice.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
So this is where it gets, not Jared-y from Subway.
But this is why he lost weight.
It wasn't Chick-fil-A, but heis still butt of the week.
He says so he would eat thatsalad for lunch, but then all he
would eat was yogurt and fruit.
So that's why he lost weight.
It was like the Southwestchicken salad was actually kind
of a splurge.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Then all he would eat was yogurt and fruit, so that's
why he lost weight.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It was like the Southwest chicken salad was
actually kind of a splurge.
It really was.
It was him treating himself.
But if he's smart and I thinkhe is, because again he works
for Boston Radio Right, he gotto position himself as the new
face Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yeah, I think he has some.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yeah, I think, maybe I don't know he also went to the
gym and stopped drinking soda.
You know what?
No, I can't.
I'm not rescinding.
Every time I rescind the buttof the week.
No, yeah, he's butt of the week.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
You are so picky.
I'm not picky I'm not reallyChick-fil-A of all places.
Again, they're closed on Sunday, so how could he really do it
every?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
day.
Yeah, he's got to double up.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
On Saturday, he has to double up on Saturday, get it
to go and then eat it.
But then also, if you're notgoing to work more than five
days a week, then there are twodays that you're not passing by
this Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Uber Eats.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Uber Eating.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yep, yep, yep yep, he was also going to the gym.
And then he said no more junkfood.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Okay, so why is Chick-fil-A getting all the
credit here?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah, seriously, it seems like he just turned his
life around, just had betterhabits, better.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
But he's also Peno has a good point here, and it's
what I was thinking that he'sworking long hours in, you know,
boston's top three radio market.
That's not.
That means you're fatter no,but cocaine for breakfast and
dinner, Southwest salad forlunch.
So you need all the energy.
It's long hours.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
It's pretty much all you can muster doing all that
cocaine.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
It's possible Again.
It's Boston Radio.
In July of last year it was 228pounds.
Wow, nice.
Which I actually think is toolight.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
You think that's too light.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
I think he needs to start eating.
He's going to fly away in thewind.
Yeah, indeed.
So anyway, congratulations,buddy, congratulations.
You're butt of the week.
You lost 132 pounds and, yes,we are saying it's the
Chick-fil-A diet, sure, eventhough, again, it seems like he
changed so many other things inhis life.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yeah, it doesn't seem like that was the sole thing
that made him go that way.
But it's cool.
Hey, I like Chick-fil-A, I'lleat Chick-fil-A.
I mean, I don't, you know,whatever.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I don't think I've ever had it.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
It's not bad, it's pretty good.
Actually, I'm not a big chickenguy, though I'm not a big
chicken guy.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Hmm Well, another fast food incident.
A teenager was choked by aMcDonald's worker after the girl
walked behind the counter totake some ranch dipping sauce.
Yeah, she said she wasn't beinghelped by employees.
So the 17-year-old?
She went to McDonald's.
Her name is Akina Sampson.
No, I'm sorry, akina Sampson isthe woman that grabbed the
(39:54):
teenager.
When the teen tried to breakfree, sampson grabbed her neck
and then took the girl to theground.
Oh my God, choked out thevictim.
Damn Yep, this was in StPetersburg, florida.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
No ranch on my watch.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
My God.
Cops responded and they notedthe victim had visible injuries
to her neck and elbow.
The incident was also capturedon video, so Samson was arrested
and charged with child abuse.
Wow, but also didn't this 17year old go behind the counter
and try to get the ranch?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Sometimes these employees will not help you out
For an extended period of time,and they'll look at you too.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
It's so true, it's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
So I would you know, if I was a little bit younger
and a little bit more attitudeand sass, I might have done that
as well.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Me too.
My question is what atMcDonald's requires ranch?
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Nothing.
It's honey, mustard or bust.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
They don't have the crunch wraps anymore or the
snack wraps.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
No, people do it with chicken nuggets, though, and
fries.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
It turns it into liquid Doritos.
I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
But honey mustard is kind of the way to go, isn't it?
Or sweet and sour sauce, yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I don't think when I think of McDonald's, I don't
think of ranch.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Me neither.
Barbecue is another yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
I don't do that either, and also it's a bit of
an escalation to choke out theteenager for taking some dipping
sauce.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah, I'd be like hey , what do you think this is?
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That is overkill.
Yeah, that's true, All right.
Well, let's just end thisepisode with do you guys want to
do a grave robbery or a lawthat I don't like A law?
Speaker 1 (41:24):
that you don't like Grave robbery.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Steal them bodies.
Steal them bodies.
Join me, kyle, steal thembodies.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
All right, Kyle, you joined her, so we'll do the law
tomorrow that I don't like.
It involves animals, and howmany you can have?
Oh, a cemetery worker, he dugup a baby's corpse.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Oh my God, oh my God, that was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
He just sung up digging up baby's corpses like
it's Pet Cemetery.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yeah, why why?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I don't know.
And then he dumped the.
It's not funny.
It's not funny, Jesus.
He dumps the casket down a hilland then the baby's body went
flying.
Oh my God, what was the?
Speaker 3 (41:59):
purpose of this.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
So he's a gravedigger .
He's in West Virginia.
He dug up the corpse of a babythat was buried more than 40
years ago.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Wow, it's a 40-year-old baby.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Old-ass baby.
Then he tossed the casket downa hill and then it sent the
skeletal body flying through theair as the lid opens.
Wow, Just imagine seeing it.
It's raining baby skeletons.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Yeah, that'd be a pretty crazy thing, especially
if you're in the cemeteryvisiting someone that kind of
flings over in your peripherals.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
God, give us a sign that Timothy's still alive.
There he is.
He came back as Superman, so hedug up this grave because he
was building.
Apparently they're running outof everyone's dying in West
Virginia, right yeah, they keepon dying, dying and dying, so
they're running out of room.
The dude's name is MatthewFortner, 49 years old, who's
(42:54):
digging a plot for a new graveat the Bayless Cemetery in Salt
Rock, west Virginia.
That's when he allegedlyunearthed the casket, which was
buried in 1982.
So I think it didn't have anameplate, it didn't have the
tombstone, got it.
So he's just like what the fuck?
What do we got here?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, right, my way.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Yeah, no one cares about this.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Yeah, it's like he was like digging and he was like
digging, digging, digging.
He's like casket not mineDigging, baby, not mine Digging,
digging, digging.
Just looking for something.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Indeed.
So he got the casket and thenhe threw it over a hillside and
then the baby's corpse wasthrown from the coffin as it
rolled in the grass.
Jesus, and then this is okay.
This is again not funny.
A couple decorating gravestonesin anticipation of Easter right
, which is, I believe, whenJesus comes back.
(43:44):
They witnessed all of this.
Zombie Jesus, Zombie Jesus,Absolutely.
That's very good, and that'swhy I worship.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Zombie Jesus every day.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Thank you, zombie Jesus, for being my Lord and
Savior.
He says this is what thewitness says.
It takes a sick individual, inmy opinion, to desecrate a grave
and mess with a corpse periodPeriod.
So Fortner was arrested inconnection to the incident.
He is charged with disintermentand displacement of a dead body
(44:20):
.
He's been held in $105,000 bondand faces up to five years in
prison.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Wait a minute.
That's like a lot.
Someone had to give him thisinstruction.
Who gave him this direction?
It's not like as a cemeterydigger, like you're the one that
makes the final calls.
No, you're like the bottom dudethat just gets the directions
and just starts digging.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Right.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
So his boss probably told him that we need space.
I don't care how you do it, butyou need to make space.
People are dying and we need todig them.
And he's like fuck it, well, Iguess I don't know, this doesn't
seem like this is like theoldest area.
I'm like this is like theoldest area it doesn't feel like
there's all dusty flour.
No one's visiting.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
And, as we talked about a couple of episodes ago,
west Virginia, big people.
Oh, yeah, so you got to haveless bodies, more space.
Yeah, so I don't think hedeserves five years in prison.
I think he's probably verydesensitized because he's a
(45:23):
grave digger and he sees corpsesall the time.
I think you will change youropinion here in a second.
Okay, we haven't got to thecraziest part yet.
Wait, there's a crazier part.
Yes, officials said the graveof the young child, just months
old.
That was the only burial plotthey found to be disturbed.
Yes, the name of the child isnot released.
Sheriff Adams says we do thinkthis is an isolated incident.
We don't think it's going to bea trend and this is kind of a
twist.
Yes, previously, fortner, hewas convicted of murder in 1910.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Alright, okay, okay, okay, okay.
He was convicted of murder.
Sure what?
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Oh hell, yeah Well well, he's killing people, he's
chucking dead babies over hisshoulder.
Did you want a lead with?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
that?
No, what the hell.
You don't just bury the baby,you bury the lead.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
How can you be?
I mean, I guess it makes sense,you have a resume here.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Did he kill that baby ?
Speaker 2 (46:06):
No, no, I don't believe so.
Yes, he was convicted of murderin 1997 and sentenced to life
with mercy in 2008.
Do they not do backgroundchecks on gravediggers anymore,
buddy?
Yeah, it's mandatory thatyou've killed somebody.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
Yeah, no, it's fine, we can let them do this.
They're all already dead.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
They're already like yeah, my job's done here.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I see on your CV you've killed a bunch of people.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
So what you're saying is you're comfortable around
the deceased.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
So I guess that's not good Wow.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
He didn't really do a lot of time he only did 11
years.
Yeah, they said it was prisonwith mercy, life with mercy.
I've never heard that ever.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
I've never heard that before.
Have mercy.
Uncle Jesse just showed up andsaid that.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Yeah, best defense attorney there is.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Your Honor, cut it out, cut it out.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
So he only served 11 years for murder and
theoretically he's looking athalf of that for tossing this
coffin, oh my God.
And the baby went flying.
So the child's corpse was takento a state medical examiner's
office.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
That's crazy.
And imagine him being amurderer that already served
time, that is out, and then he'sjust doing his job poorly.
But he thinks he's doing hisjob and then he gets clipped for
it and he's like are youfucking kidding me?
You guys didn't even treat methis badly when I killed
somebody.
Like seriously I threw onecorpse by accident.
It was already dead Right.
And now, all of a sudden, I'mthe asshole.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Also if we're doing it by weight.
It was a baby.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Right, it's very tiny , come on.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Oh my Lord, Anything, anything from the fans, yes,
okay.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Who's got it?
They're saying, started the newForest, fenn treasure hunt
early.
What's Forest?
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Fenn.
Oh okay, Very fun.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Zombie Jesus future horror movie.
A buzzard flies away with theskeleton, gets hit by a plane,
drops the skeleton over theocean and a shark eats it.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Oh, very possible.
Maybe that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Chris G was asking if we saw the story about Uranus
Apparently Uranus.
It's been found that days therelast 28 seconds longer than we
originally thought, but wehaven't got into that today.
Someone's just asking.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah, we didn't get into that part Pay attention Pay
attention.
How do they even know that?
Well, I'll look into that.
You know my crack science brain.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
Yeah, I'll look into that.
You have to check with yourresearch.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Yeah, I think the Earth is a triangle.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah, it's a Dorito.
You're a tri-earther.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Yes, I'm a tri-earther Exactly A
tri-earther Jeff was sayingMcNuggies are good with ranch.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
All right.
Well, we'll accept anybody'smoney.
No, I'm just joking.
There's a lot of ranch headsout there, yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
A lot of ranch heads.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
I wouldn't get choked out over it, but LOL, all right
everyone.
Thank you so much for watchingAgain.
Thank you, bridget, for sendingus the gift.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Bernadette.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Oh yes, I'm sorry, bernadette, and I believe
Bridget sent us the email.
So thank you so much.
You guys are so sweet and ifyou guys want to send anything,
dm me or email us and I willsend you guys our address.
Yes, okay, everyone, hailyourself.
We'll talk to you soon, bye,bye.
And then you throw it as hard as you can sideways.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, you got to get a light ball and toss it real
far.
Yeah, hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's gonna be OK
(00:25):
bud.
I am Ben Kissel at Ben KisselOne, joined by Jerry Aquino at
Miss Underscore.
Jerry, that's J-E-R-I-I.
And Kyle Ploof at Kyle Ploof.
Check out the Patreonpatreoncom slash diebud.
We want to thank Bernadette.
She sent us some fantasticgifts.
It's a cross.
(00:46):
I believe this is called across stitch.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yes, and the cross stitch says this too shall pass,
but like holy fuck, thank youso much.
And she also sent a great imageof the Undertaker.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
It's so cute.
Just a little tiny cross stitchof Undertaker and a little baby
, A very tiny toy baby.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes with a big old cheese head With a big old
cheese head which I love.
That's how I was born Littlebaby with a big cheese head.
You can imagine what that means.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
Let us know your thoughts aboutwhat we discussed on this
episode.
Send us pictures of your catsor dogs.
(01:25):
I have many things to post onInstagram this week, so thank
you for shooting those cutepictures over.
We are going to start with anemail.
This comes from Brittany.
The entire email is a bitlonger.
We're just going to read thefinal part.
We were discussing accidentaldick pics.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oopsies Accidental.
My foot, that is not.
There's no such thing as anaccidental dick pic.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
No, sometimes the penis grows little hands and
then takes your phone and snapspictures of itself like it's
taking a cocky.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, like the fingerprint thing also takes,
like your penis print.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
The head, the mushroom print.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, did you know?
Did you know fingerprints arenow being debunked.
Oh, what do you mean?
Debunked New science?
They're saying fingerprints arenot as unique as they once
thought.
Oh shit, what?
Yes, before people were likeit's like Snowflakes, yes, no,
yes, they were like snowflakes,each one unique.
Yes, but now they're saying no.
(02:19):
Obviously, with the developmentof DNA, different approaches to
law enforcement, lawenforcement is saying that the
fingerprint might not actuallybe as unique as we once thought.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But anyway, what if they're just kind of getting
lazy about it?
What if it's just like somepeople just looking at some like
mugshot and like thumbprintsand they're like I can't tell
these two apart.
These look the same.
I don't think these are asunique as people say they are.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I put little eyes on them.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah yeah, that'd be kind of cute See how that one
has like a little like starconstellation, that one has the
same star constellation, it'sthe same guy.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Absolutely my father.
I was in third grade and theybrought in law enforcement
because we were going to dofingerprinting day, that law
enforcement because we weregoing to do fingerprinting day.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That's weird.
It was weird, right.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
They did that to us in kindergarten and kept them.
I was like I want that.
They're like no, we're keepingthese.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
They fucking got us.
They had you on file from jump.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
On purpose.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Holy shit Creating the database from.
Imagine if Kyle's charged withmurder and they're like, let's
take a look at his fingerprint.
It's just a little six-year-oldthumb.
It's a tiny one, but I do givemy hair.
The handcuffs don't fit on.
So did you commit this murderwhen you were an infant?
I will give my parents somecredit.
(03:37):
They said no.
They said my son's not going toget fingerprinted.
Good.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Oh my God, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Unless I am arrested, which I have been before.
Then you get the fingerprint.
Then you get the fingerprint.
I ain't just going to go givethese willy-nilly out.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
No, yeah, no, seriously, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Well, speaking of willy-nilly, this is a question,
and again it's coming fromBrittany.
She says the only dick picstories I have is more of a
question.
And and she wants to ask, jerry, why do some dudes hold up
household items to their baloneyponies which is a fun name for
penis, to quote prove how bigthey are?
(04:11):
Can you imagine looking at arandom message from someone you
don't know very well?
And it's a cock being held upto a remote control?
A can of Lysol, a can of Coke,a rolled up pair of tube socks,
a pack of hamburger buns.
I'm sure you get it.
That is something that I wasn'taware, that men do?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Is that common?
That definitely is a commonthing.
And you know what?
I'll tell you what.
I know exactly why they do this, and it's because they think
first of all, guys, they're intodimensions, they're into
dimensions all over the fuckingplace.
They walk into dimensions.
They're into dimensions allover the fucking place.
They walk into a room.
They want to know like whatsize the walls are, how tall the
ceilings go.
They want to know.
They want to know the ins andouts of everything.
(04:51):
Okay, so they think, as soon asyou see a picture of their dick
, let's see first of all thatyou wanted it to begin with.
There's that, but then there'salso.
Yeah, let's say you actuallywanted this.
Then they're like well,obviously she's gonna wonder
like hmm, what, what is thatexactly in real life size?
What is, what are thedimensions?
What's the height, what's thewidth, what's the girth?
(05:11):
Well, I know how I can show heryeah, right just grab on and do
a thing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
It's really strange, okay call me old-fashioned, but
I think you should have to seethe dick in person before you
send the picture, because thenit's's like you want to see it
and that's why you're asking forit.
It's not like oh, I'm justcurious about it.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Let me see what it looks like before, I see it Not
very Cayetola.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
That is not very Cayetola.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Wow, old-fashioned, he's evolving While.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I am not a fan of the DPs which, for this intended
purpose, dick.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
This is purpose.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Dick pics.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Also, we want to thank Bridget once again because
, in order to make a comparisonof the size of if Jerry had a
penis, she also sent us awonderful seasoning Nashville
hot chicken.
Yeah, so thank you.
And if you do send a picture ofyour penis with something like,
this is your average seasoningbottle?
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I think I would probably do something.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, like that.
Yeah, she's taking a mushroomtop and putting it on a rock
star there it is the very tallcan.
But then it seems like it mightbe too large and I've heard
many women complain oh, it's toobig.
It's too big, they say.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
The big ones hurt.
Oh thanks.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
This just hurt my feelings.
Yeah, no, you're so much betterthan my ex.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
My ex was huge.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
No, this is so much better.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, you just really hurt me real bad.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
That's painful, all right.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
All right, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, thank you so much for that message.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
That's hilarious.
You know what else is reallyfunny?
What Someone is what.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What would it be If a girl ever asks you for anal and
like, very easily and willinglydoes it.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
That's you're not you're not super well endowed.
Yeah, that's.
Oh.
Sometimes they're like, no, Idon't want to do this, please
not.
Not with that.
Yeah.
And then sometimes they're likeah, get it, get in there, buddy
, what are you doing?
Get over here, come on, youlittle rascal hurry up and make
it rough that's adorable.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, well, what a lucky guy, the old catholic
condom.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah she's well, I gotta feel it somehow, or?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
another.
I feel like women could maybetake a picture of their vagina
and then, with something ofdepth, yeah To be like I am this
deep Interesting.
Yes perhaps something.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
How would that work?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I don't know exactly.
Take maybe like a cone, yeah,like a funnel of sorts, like a
funnel and then just be like Iwould stop here.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
you know, as far as I don't know, Unsolicited vagina
pics.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I'm sure there's not as many out there but, I'm sure
there are some.
Also some girls that don't thatjust want to hook up with guys.
They just they want to see whatthey're working with before
they go and waste gas, wastetime.
Yes, they're like you know what.
Let me just see what it's likefull grown.
Let's just Just see what it'slike full grown.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Just see what we're working with Right right, I can
know what's going on.
And we did cover a story Ithink it was last week or the
week before where a woman washooking up with a man and it was
too large and they just endedup cuddling.
Isn't that sad?
Wow, what?
Yeah, no right.
Okay, Well speaking of sad,this is our final update on the
Virginia Goofy weird, colossal,fuck that story.
(08:07):
So she's out of the hospital.
It was seven days, seven daysTotal, yes, and now she is out
as of this Monday, april 7th, soshe's three days post-mortem.
She was supposed to die threedays ago, she didn't, and now
she is out of the hospital.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It's not every day you get to double your life
expectancy.
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No, she's doing fantastic, she's in Australia.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Eight days later.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yep, she's in Australia still and God knows
what's going to happen as thisstory kind of continues.
But we are putting a nail inthe coffin period at the end of
this paragraph, because at thispoint we can't just be on
Virginia Goofery is she dead ornot?
Stories.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Her bruises washed off in the shower.
She's good.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yeah, pretty much Good old makeup remover took
care of that.
Well, still hope she doesbetter and hope she gets the
help she needs.
Maybe has some hope andreconciliation with her family
at some point in life.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
There we go.
That's all we can ask for.
Speaking of reconciliation withfamily, the Menendez brothers.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Oh, they did not reconcile.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I don't think they can anymore.
Yeah, parents are all dead.
Yeah, yeah, maybe they couldget like a shaman in there.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Like blown to pieces dead.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Right, you can't put them back together.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
No, no, but again a Ouija board.
And then, if the that's whatthey should do, yeah, bring the
Ouija board into the courtroomduring their hearing of parole
and then have the Ouija board belike let them out.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And they'll be like that was our dad.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Or the dad will be like hold your pants down, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
How weird his dad was .
Speaker 3 (09:41):
He's actually sexy now, his dad was all weird.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I liked you before you aged Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
So his dad was a smoker in the afterlife.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I would assume most pedophiles are smokers.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Well, he got smoked.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, that's for sure , I don't know why.
I just said that about smokers.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I do my best yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, trying to have a smoke.
Yeah, eric and Lyle Menendezhave said for the first time
they are optimistic aboutleaving prison.
There is a new special out,it's called TMZ Presents the
Menendez Brothers.
Ooh.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Which counts like the seventh kind of special about
them.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, there are so many specials, I wonder if
they're still special.
Yeah Right, how special arethey?
So we'll call it the unspecial.
Yeah, tmz presents the MenendezBrothers.
It does sound like it's goingto be like live on Broadway, but
no, it is the prison interview.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Ooh, I'm not going to lie, I do want to see it as
much as I've seen the other ones.
And I'm complaining.
I do want to see it, oh,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
It's going to be interesting.
Lyle says the word hope is newfor them and Eric says he's
striving to be a better personevery day and finally beginning
to like himself.
Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Isn't that nice.
He keeps waking up in themorning in the prison cell
looking at herself and beinglike you know what.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
You're not that bad, eric.
Look at you.
I'm good enough.
I'm smart enough.
I'm good enough.
Yeah, I got kicked out of theSenate for making a joke
photograph, but damn it, I'mstill Al Franken, yep, yep.
So this all depends if they getout or not, if the California
Parole Board finds them nolonger a danger to society.
Again, as we've learned moreabout the killing in recent
(11:26):
years, I don't think they wouldhave killed somebody had the
circumstances not been what theywere Right.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Yes, it definitely seemed like a cry for help, or
that many cries for help wereignored plenty of times
beforehand.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
But then, that being said, you're in prison for 35
years.
It's not going to make you morepeaceful.
So what if, oh God forbid, whatif something does happen?
Who?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
knows they haven't grown in the system at this
point.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
So there's going to be a risk assessment and it's
going to be sent to beautifulgreasy Gavin Newsom's desk for
the June 13th hearing, wherehe'll consider the findings when
deciding whether to grantclemency for Eric and Lyle.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Which one is married, eric.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Eric is married.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
The one with hair is married.
The one, yeah, yeah.
And then Netflix portrayed himout to be gay, basically.
But he went to jail and he fellin love with a fan letter
writer named Tammy and they gotmarried while he was in prison,
and that's been his wife eversince.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Nothing gayer than that.
Getting married in prison and Imentioned this before the show,
but I don't know In prison isone thing, that's one form of
relationship, but if they getout, does that marriage last?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Do they get to just be married in real life in
person, live happily ever after.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I mean at some point.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Or does he come out of the closet divorce her become
a gay icon right in this year'spride flow.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
He could.
Nothing is off the table.
It's 2025.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I would be so down for that.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Nothing is off the table.
It's 2025.
I would be so down for that.
Nothing is off the table.
My question if you're her rightLike, yes, you have this nice
relationship, it's a pen pal.
You have maybe some conjugalvisits, but then all of a sudden
he's there every day.
I know 24 hours a day.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Oh my God, that would be so annoying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
You gotta listen to him snoring Sn snoring, farting
shitting.
My favorite thing about you wasthe prison part, because we
could speak for 30 minutes andit was finite.
And it was hot and passionatebecause we know we didn't have
long yeah, but then all of asudden you got five hours in an
applebee's yeah, just staring ateach other, just looking at
each other he's making prisonwine in the in the toilet.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Now that's a bonus that's weird kind of kind of
makes you miss the third womanin the phone call, being like
your time is running out in fiveminutes for this correctional
facility center.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Part of her is just like thank God I got fucking
bowling club today.
Get off the phone, lyle.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Someone's got to bowl .
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So, anyway, those are the updates on those two
stories that seem to be Well.
One, virginia Gufri, is done.
We're done.
Talking about her butt with theMenendez brothers.
That will sort of be solvedmid-year and who knows what
happens.
All right, woo, this story isabsolutely disgusting.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
We're going to Mother Russia.
Oh no, oh no, Come on.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yes, in Russia, the knife stab you.
I don't remember what YakovSmirnoff was all about.
Yakov Smirnoff.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
You don't know him.
Yeah, she's too young.
Very funny, very, very.
He's still performing over atDollywood or Branson, no.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
He performs in Branson.
Fuck yeah, hang out with allthe old fogies.
Something tells me, if you tooka bunch of mushrooms, you could
go to Branson without actuallygoing to Branson.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh yeah, just eat a bunch of oatmeal and call my
doctor and scream because I'mnot pooping.
Right, most people just yellabout that.
So a twisted, notorious serialkiller.
He went by the name ChessboardKiller.
Chessboard Killer, okay.
He brutally slaughtered 48people.
(15:11):
He was convicted of 48 murders,jesus.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Where do you find the time?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Right, I don't, my God, I guess it's Russia.
Not a lot to do this dude.
He compared killing people tohaving an orgasm.
Okay, so obviously he did thisfor sexual reasons.
Wow, 48,.
You think that's a lot?
Well, you're about to tack on11 more.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
He is poised to confess to 11 more murders.
His name is AlexanderPashushkin.
He is 50 years old.
He targeted mostly homelesspeople, alcoholics and the
elderly.
He would bludgeon them to deathwith a hammer.
He is now being held at thePolar Owl Prison, I believe, and
(16:02):
this is considered one of theworst prisons in the world.
It's in ice cold Russia.
There is nothing aroundwhatsoever, and rarely do I say
it.
This makes the US prison systemlook almost humane.
So that's wild.
Pashushkin.
He has, quote declared hisreadiness to confess to have
(16:25):
committing 11 more murders ofmen and women.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
What's making him all ready all of a sudden?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I think that he is really sick and tired of however
they're treating him and maybethis gets him out at least in a
courtroom for a little while.
Some pickleball maybe, maybe apickleball Right for a little
while.
Some pickleball, maybe, maybe apickleball Right.
So his crimes pre-rent wentfrom 1992 to 2006.
Wow, he got the name chessboardkiller because when he was
(16:55):
talking to authorities he said Iwant to have enough victims to
fill out every square of achessboard.
Oh, wow.
So it wasn't like that's theone thing with these nicknames.
So it wasn't like that's theone thing with these nicknames.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
It makes him sound like oh, that's because smart.
Yeah, no, he's a fucking moron.
No, yeah, he looks like a bigdangerous brute.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yes, he's a big idiot who killed the most vulnerable
people in society.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, seriously over and drunk and can't help
themselves and the elderly Right.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
He's still five short , because I think it's 64 on a
chessboard right.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yes, it's 64 on a chessboard, so he still didn't
complete his challenge.
Yeah, he's still a loser.
What a weenie.
So he's currently servingmultiple life sentence again at
the Polar Owl Jail.
It's in the Russian Arctic.
However, he is also, strangelyenough, known to receive a lot
of love letters from women.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Oh, my God why?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I don't know why would they?
They're idiots, not that itmatters particularly, but he's
like an ugly dude.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, he's all weird looking and dead-eyed, yeah, but
I guess, you know women, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You explain it, Jerry .
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Women are always women, always like to have like
this weird psychological flip ofcontrol of like I can get ahead
of this by befriending thedangerous thing that will then
not be dangerous to me, Right?
And then they get bludgeoned todeath.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Right, yes, and of course he's behind bars, so he
can't hurt them, unless he goesin front of the parole board and
then he's out and they're likehey, buddy, I was joking.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
All those labia pictures I sent you.
Those were just a tease, so theannouncement comes as a
surprise, as the killer firstconfessed to additional
executions.
At the time he said there were12 additional more killings, but
now he says no, no, no, just 11.
Wow, okay, even if he wouldhave confessed to the 12, to
(18:49):
Kyle's point, that's not enough.
Nope, still not enough.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
The who is a her.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
We got to get this the chessboard killer.
It's not the chessboard killer,no.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
No, something different, more like a checkers
killer.
Yeah, you play checkers, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Or maybe I don't even know what's another board game
that involves squares.
Connect Four yeah, he's theConnect Four killer you putz.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, yeah, there it is.
You really really told him.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
There's 42 holes in Connect Four, so he's the
Connect Four killer, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It's actually kind of cooler.
That's more universal.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Connect Four killer.
Wow, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, I'm so sick of these chess players.
There's this guy, this Russiandude, who's really good.
Now they tried to ban himbecause he wore jeans.
What?
Yeah, oh, they're just petty.
They are petty.
And then he's like, fine, I'mnot going to fucking play then.
And then they were like fine,you can wear jeans.
That was the biggest check.
Yeah, he's like really smart,but like he's really really
smart, so he looks all dumbRight right, he is handcuffed.
(19:50):
They call him the Bitsa Maniac.
The Bitsa Maniac, that's whatthey say.
They say as they call me, it isme.
In fact, I committed 61 murders, 60.
This is the killer talking.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Bragging.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Of course.
What else is he going to bragabout?
Like he made sourdough one day,right.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
This is all he's ever done.
He worked hard for this.
In a strange way he did yeah,he says 60 of them in Bitsa Park
and in the city he killed one.
So he killed one person inMoscow, but most took place in a
place called Bitsa.
He says most of the bodies Idrowned in sewage wells, Jesus
(20:32):
Yuck.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
I mean honestly just, and they were from 92 to 2006.
Again, that's a lot of murdersto commit.
It is In that short amount oftime.
While you're what?
Like holding, are you holdingdown a job?
Like, how are you funding, likethe weapons that you use?
And like, where do you put them?
How do you carry them places?
How do you go unseen do?
(20:53):
you switch clothes.
That's a lot of clothes to washblood out of.
Are we doing laundry?
Are you doing laundry services?
Are you getting them dry clean?
Doing a patrick bateman thinglike can you just get this wine
stain off?
Do they?
What are you doing, do they?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
even have dry cleaning in russia.
Whoa they?
I don't know.
So he says yeah, most of thebodies are drowned in sewage
wells.
Why did I kill?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
He says I don't know oh, that's not a good answer I
don't know, I don't know well,why wouldn't I kill the fucking
douche because I wanted to yeah,why'd you kill my whole family?
I don't know it's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
He says I don't know.
But then he goes on to say Ithink why he did it.
He says there was no sense inlife for me without this.
So his whole identity was likeI'm a serial killer he is.
He was a black hole of a personyes, and it must be difficult
to tell everyone your truepassion, because your true
passion is extremely illegal andscary and dangerous.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So I don't know what.
I guess he probably wasn't verycharming.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was probably feeling like
Britney Spears all.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You think he's the Britney Spears of serial killers
?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
He's the Britney Spears of serial killers.
You think he's the BritneySpears of serial killers?
He's the Britney Spears ofserial killers.
He's like.
No one understands me.
I kill and I kill, but I stillgo home and I cry, cry, cry.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
She doesn't juggle hammers, which would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
She does not.
No, that would be cool.
She could step it up.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I've been team Britney since day one.
You better leave that womanalone.
She's just having fun withknives.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You just let her do her thing.
Okay, I'm not going to stop her.
You're going to take the knifeaway from Britney Spears?
Absolutely not.
No, I'm here for the knives.
Gift her another one, the onewe have here.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Also remember when she shaved her head.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
No one called her Britney Shears.
Oh, probably should have Isthat a missed opportunity.
Yeah, majorly yeah.
It only took me 20 years tocome up with that.
Remember that, Like 1998,remember that.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Hey, we should have called her that 27 years ago.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, you fucking idiots didn't call her that.
You guys aren't very good, yeah.
So in 2006, this D-bag, heconfessed.
And the strange thing, hisconfession came after he was
tricked into thinking he wasspeaking at a live press
conference.
What so?
They're like buddy, youridentity.
You're a serial killer.
Come on down to the pressconference like it's a game show
(23:08):
.
Yeah, then police.
Apparently they had the sessionall set up after he said he
would only confess.
I hate this guy so much.
He said he would only confesson live TV.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Oh, Okay, so they had to pretend that they were
making a spectacle, that theywere entertaining his demands.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yes, he wants to be like a little dumb joker and
he's like I'll go on livetelevision and confess my crimes
.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
So he later admitted in an interview from his top
security jail that killing eachperson quote brought me colossal
pleasure.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Colossal pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes, colossal pleasure.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
A cornucopia of murder pleasure.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And again he says it is comparable to an orgasm.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
How would he know?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I think he probably had an orgasm when he was
killing these people, yeahthat's gross.
It was revealed in 2021 that avictim who was attacked and left
for dead in a sewer had givencops his name and address after
he had killed 24 people, butthey still didn't get him.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Holy jeez that was in 2002.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Why not 2002.
So from 2002 and 2006, he hadthose four years where he really
amped it up and killed a bunchof people because cops were like
, nah, he's a Russian guy, hewould never try to kill and stab
you and leave you in a sewer.
He's a Russian.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Why I don't understand why they didn't take
him.
They didn't take his word forit 2002 Russia.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I have a feeling.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They didn't care.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yes, and I think 2025 russia they probably don't care
as a matter of fact, he mightbe released to fight the war.
Yeah, seriously yes, sopashushkin had only one aim,
which was brutally to kill andkill her.
This is what she says.
She says I saw an open sewage.
Well, pashushkin grabbed myhair and started banging my head
against the iron.
(25:05):
Well cover.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Ow.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Oh, brutal.
And then he said I knew he.
She says I knew he would killme.
Then she fell 25 feet Damn Intothe sewage.
Well, oh my God, but shesurvived after her screams for
help were finally heard.
The lazy cop.
His name was Kalishnikov.
(25:27):
Wow, Kalishnikov, Nice.
He says he was not interestedin probing the attack on her.
Wow, this is interesting.
Unlike in America in many ways,the policeman was jailed.
Good For incompetence.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
But yeah, I mean, I think he should almost be held
accountable for what?
30 murders, 30 more murdersyeah.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
She's lucky she didn't get like an infection
just from being in there.
That'll kill you.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
What a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Oh my God, the smell and this picture is taken when
he was still, you know, not inprison.
For all these years.
He had long hair.
I mean, he's not.
He doesn't stand out as like oh, that guy's going to dump me
down a sewage.
Well, he looks pretty base,Right.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
He looks pretty, pretty scary, though Something
about his eyes.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
They definitely go dark.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
They definitely do go dark.
So, anyway, he is now confessedto 11 more murders, but again,
he's doing it all for the press,which is just so gross.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Which is not even there.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, which is like what do you do?
Yeah, you know the big rush,the whole Russian reality show
run that he could have.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It is weird that the only thing they love more than
killing is notoriety.
Being like I did that yeah, Iknow they're like now look at me
on a horse.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
That's fun.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
so yeah, I mean, everyone loves a good horse.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yes, well, let's move on to a story.
Let's do a positive story.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Oh, yes, please I think we need one.
I want a happy thing.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And I think we have Bud of the Week and it's coming
on Monday.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Wow, uh-oh.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
That means it's only.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Maybe you're just really excited because last week
was such a dud.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Well, there was just no buds.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I think the Bud of the week turned out to be human
flesh.
They were all duds.
Yeah, I know A Rhode Island man.
He has lost 132 pounds, goodjob.
How did he do it, you may ask.
Did he run?
Did he exercise?
Yeah, yeah, did he.
Did he take Wigovie, like Mattand like I do, because I'm cool?
Yeah, yeah, and everyone cooltakes Wigobi.
(27:39):
Yeah, no, he ate Chick-fil-A,he says every day for more than
a year.
The only problem I have and I'mnot because he is butt of the
week, what?
The only problem is he can'teat Chick-fil-A every day
because Because, Closed on.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Sunday Closed on Sundays because they're
homophobic.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Well no, not because they're homophobic Right.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Well, no, not because they're homophobic, but because
they say we need a day of restso that we can, you know go Love
Jesus and hate gays.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Hate gays more efficiently, right?
Yes, with more passion.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Exactly Politicizing the chicken.
What's next?
Okay, A Rhode Island man hascredited Chick-fil-A for saving
his life.
Oh my, he lost 132 poundseating at the fancy little chain
and he would get.
You know what he would getevery day for over a year?
What the spicy Southwest salad?
(28:29):
Oh, what the spicy Southwestsalad All right.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
So he lost 132 pounds , but he gained a fuckload of
acid reflux disease.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yes, yes, and maybe a couple of farts, although they
do say when you fart that is aphysical exercise in many ways.
Yes, and maybe a couple offarts, although they do say when
you fart that is a physicalexercise in many ways.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Who says that?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I don't know, I don't know.
I tell Jerry that my dog, whenI fart all night.
And then I say Papa's got to behealthy.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
It's an exercise.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Right, the man's name is Tom Carroll.
He's six foot two, Big boy.
Also Tom Carroll.
Now that you're thespokesperson for Chick-fil-A
weight loss, check your searchengines.
Make sure there's no CP inthere.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
That's what Jeff just said.
Yep, he better not be anotherSubway Jared.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
No Subway Jared here, Tom, because you're butt of the
week, Tom.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Oh God, Pressure's on now.
If I find out anything you'vedone with a child, I'm going to
revoke your butt of the week.
Oh boy, this is supposed to be,a positive story.
Well it's.
You know, everything's going tobe okay, bud, but then all we
talk about is how everything'shorrible.
That's right, bud he is.
Oh no, this is going to getscarier and scarier.
(29:38):
He's a digital content producer?
Oh, I'm sure he is Digitalcontent.
Yes, he works at a local radiostation in Boston.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, I don't trust him already.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah, oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I don't like the way he's smiling.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, he's our Bud of the Week.
So he started his journey inJuly of 2023, when he stepped on
a scale after a wedding inSyracuse, and he weighed 360
pounds.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
You waited until after the wedding?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, Well, it wasn't his wedding, it was his
friend's wedding, I know.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, but he's like I didn't look good in the suit.
How bad is it?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I mean, I kind of asked my buddy Mike if they
could trim me down a little bitin the photos.
Yeah, trim me down a little bitin the photos.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yeah, I don't think they did, though.
Maybe just yeah, just like.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
He also put me right in the front.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Put it, put it in Photoshop and just like stretch
it out long ways.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, but I'm already so fucking tall.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
But then everyone.
But then you stretch everyone.
So you stretch everyone elselong ways, Then you stretch your
out, you out like sideways.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Is your groom Harry Slenderman.
Okay, this is what Carol wrote.
He says I had never seen it sohigh.
When it came to his weight, Ihad never seen it so high.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That's why don't weigh yourself.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And then he said but if I'm being completely honest
with myself, it had been ahigher and higher.
Oh no, he says, if I had beencompletely honest with myself,
it had probably been higher atvarious points that summer he
was having Fat Boy Summer.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Fat Boy Summer Cannonball.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I only wear t-shirts in the water.
He says I would have neverknown, because that was the
first time I stepped on a scalesince the fall of 2019.
Wow, so that's a lot of timehas passed.
Yeah, he went through all ofCOVID, all of everything else
and then finally got back on ascale and he was 360.
(31:32):
He's only 34 years old.
Then he went to the doctor andthe nurse was like because all
nurses do this, they're likeyou're going to die.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You're going to die tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
And I feel like the nurses You're going to die in
four days.
Yeah, and I think the nursesenjoy doing that.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Well, yeah, they're always.
They're there to be like tis,tis, tis.
They're there to give you, likethe disappointing mom nod.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Mm-mm.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Mm-mm.
The job description.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
This is your chart.
Yep, look at your chart.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I know, look at it, I am looking at it.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Do you want to die?
Oh, ma'am, no.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
The only nurse I need to tell me is just I need a
heavy set black woman, and Iwill listen to every word that
she says.
We'll follow that direction.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yeah, no, literally Please.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Lord.
So he says the nurse at my newdoctor's office told me I was
346 pounds.
A nurse at my new doctor'soffice told me I was 346 pounds.
That's good eating.
I joked with her.
He made a joke.
He joked that's good eating.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
So he's a charmer, this one.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, he works for Boston Radio.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Only the most charming people work for local
Boston Radio.
Ah, yes, yes, of course.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
How could I?
Speaker 2 (32:36):
forget.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Can you say align your chakras, align your fucking
chakras everybody.
Very good, go Red Sox.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's how you inhale .
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So the nurse quit back.
So he says that's a lot of goodeating.
And then the nurse says untilit ain't.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Oh yes, snap back.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And then he says I didn't ask for a clarification,
obviously had internally died onimpact.
As soon as she said it, shecrushed this guy with three
words until it ain't yeah, sassyour ass Internally died on.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Impact is incredible Wow.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I didn't ask for a clarification.
He's like whoa I don't know howto respond to that I am
deceased.
Yes, so because of that, theproducer didn't want to see a
doctor because he was soembarrassed.
So, this woman, you've got totoughen up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
She ran him out of that room.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Seriously, he says, well, that's good eating.
And then she's like until itate.
And then he's like then he'sdead.
Yeah, I can never financiallyrecover from this.
So he just stopped going to thedoctor for five years and then
I don't know.
But he was like fuck this.
(33:56):
So Black Friday in 2023, hewent to Chick-fil-A.
He says he thought he washaving a heart attack while
having Thanksgiving leftoverswith some of his friends.
So he wrote I had never feltanything like it before.
I hope to never feel anythinglike it again.
This was the closest I haveever felt to death, other than
(34:18):
when that nurse says, yeah, tillit ain't Till it ain't so.
According to all sources,carol's daily lunch consists of
mixed greens, tomatoes, roastedcorn, black beans, chilies, red
peppers, cheese and grilledchicken, aka the spicy Southwest
(34:39):
chicken salad.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
And he has that once a day, every day, or he has it
for like breakfast, lunch anddinner every day.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
They say, just lunch.
So the meal itself it's notlike that healthy.
It's 680 calories.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah, for a salad, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Right, because it also includes tortilla strips,
pe papitas and creamy saladdressing.
Yeah, so it's more of a tacosalad.
Yeah, I guess that's theSouthwest.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Southwest situation yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yes, this is.
He was discussing his weightbefore the meal change.
He says it was awful.
Going up and downstairs was anissue.
Sitting on an airplane andgetting a seatbelt put on was an
absolute challenge, which Iunderstand.
That you need extenders.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Is it hard to reach behind you and pull it, or is it
because it doesn't pull all theway, you can't plug it in?
What are we talking about?
Oh, seatbelts, yep.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yes, and in some cases, when I was even heavier
than I am now sure, sure yes.
And in some cases, when I waseven heavier than I am now Sure,
sure yes, I have had anextender.
And is it a point of pride?
Yeah, I did that shit.
Did I Look at everyone and say,yeah, you fucking idiots, you
don't even need extenders?
Losers, I thought this wascalled American Airlines.
That's so true.
Not fucking Air Canada.
(35:55):
You skinny fucks Ethiopia.
Very true.
So he says finding clothes thatfit and feeling.
That's so true, not fucking AirCanada.
Yeah, you skinny fucks Ethiopia, very true.
So he says finding clothes thatfit and feeling good when you
dress up.
It wasn't fun.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
No, he wasn't having any fun.
It doesn't sound like he'shaving a ball at the tall guy,
big guy store.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Which that's sad.
Because I love my big and tallstores, I go to Destination
Extra Large.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Destination Extra Large and in charge it's not
just a strip club in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
It's a lifestyle Okay , and if you go to a DXL, I'm
going to bring you with me oneday, jerry.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
I would love to.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
All the mannequins are huge.
Yeah, the mannequins are alllike my size.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Really yeah, I've never seen anything like it.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Is it men's and women's?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
No seen anything like it Is it men's and women's.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
No, that's called dress barn for women.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
DXL is just men.
That's true, it's a multiverse.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
When you walk in there you're like oh, everyone's
this big, and the small sizesstart at triple extra large.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
That's amazing.
That's awesome.
You can just pop right into onepant leg.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Seriously, you would die in them in those pants?
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Oh, that sounds nice.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
So this is where it gets, not Jared-y from Subway.
But this is why he lost weight.
It wasn't Chick-fil-A, but heis still butt of the week.
He says so he would eat thatsalad for lunch, but then all he
would eat was yogurt and fruit.
So that's why he lost weight.
It was like the Southwestchicken salad was actually kind
of a splurge.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Then all he would eat was yogurt and fruit, so that's
why he lost weight.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It was like the Southwest chicken salad was
actually kind of a splurge.
It really was.
It was him treating himself.
But if he's smart and I thinkhe is, because again he works
for Boston Radio Right, he gotto position himself as the new
face Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Yeah, I think he has some.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Yeah, I think, maybe I don't know he also went to the
gym and stopped drinking soda.
You know what?
No, I can't.
I'm not rescinding.
Every time I rescind the buttof the week.
No, yeah, he's butt of the week.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
You are so picky.
I'm not picky I'm not reallyChick-fil-A of all places.
Again, they're closed on Sunday, so how could he really do it
every?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
day.
Yeah, he's got to double up.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
On Saturday, he has to double up on Saturday, get it
to go and then eat it.
But then also, if you're notgoing to work more than five
days a week, then there are twodays that you're not passing by
this Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Uber Eats.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Uber Eating.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yep, yep, yep yep, he was also going to the gym.
And then he said no more junkfood.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Okay, so why is Chick-fil-A getting all the
credit here?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah, seriously, it seems like he just turned his
life around, just had betterhabits, better.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
But he's also Peno has a good point here, and it's
what I was thinking that he'sworking long hours in, you know,
boston's top three radio market.
That's not.
That means you're fatter no,but cocaine for breakfast and
dinner, Southwest salad forlunch.
So you need all the energy.
It's long hours.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
It's pretty much all you can muster doing all that
cocaine.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
It's possible Again.
It's Boston Radio.
In July of last year it was 228pounds.
Wow, nice.
Which I actually think is toolight.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
You think that's too light.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
I think he needs to start eating.
He's going to fly away in thewind.
Yeah, indeed.
So anyway, congratulations,buddy, congratulations.
You're butt of the week.
You lost 132 pounds and, yes,we are saying it's the
Chick-fil-A diet, sure, eventhough, again, it seems like he
changed so many other things inhis life.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yeah, it doesn't seem like that was the sole thing
that made him go that way.
But it's cool.
Hey, I like Chick-fil-A, I'lleat Chick-fil-A.
I mean, I don't, you know,whatever.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I don't think I've ever had it.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
It's not bad, it's pretty good.
Actually, I'm not a big chickenguy, though I'm not a big
chicken guy.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Hmm Well, another fast food incident.
A teenager was choked by aMcDonald's worker after the girl
walked behind the counter totake some ranch dipping sauce.
Yeah, she said she wasn't beinghelped by employees.
So the 17-year-old?
She went to McDonald's.
Her name is Akina Sampson.
No, I'm sorry, akina Sampson isthe woman that grabbed the
(39:54):
teenager.
When the teen tried to breakfree, sampson grabbed her neck
and then took the girl to theground.
Oh my God, choked out thevictim.
Damn Yep, this was in StPetersburg, florida.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
No ranch on my watch.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
My God.
Cops responded and they notedthe victim had visible injuries
to her neck and elbow.
The incident was also capturedon video, so Samson was arrested
and charged with child abuse.
Wow, but also didn't this 17year old go behind the counter
and try to get the ranch?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Sometimes these employees will not help you out
For an extended period of time,and they'll look at you too.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
It's so true, it's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
So I would you know, if I was a little bit younger
and a little bit more attitudeand sass, I might have done that
as well.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Me too.
My question is what atMcDonald's requires ranch?
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Nothing.
It's honey, mustard or bust.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
They don't have the crunch wraps anymore or the
snack wraps.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
No, people do it with chicken nuggets, though, and
fries.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
It turns it into liquid Doritos.
I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
But honey mustard is kind of the way to go, isn't it?
Or sweet and sour sauce, yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I don't think when I think of McDonald's, I don't
think of ranch.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Me neither.
Barbecue is another yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
I don't do that either, and also it's a bit of
an escalation to choke out theteenager for taking some dipping
sauce.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah, I'd be like hey , what do you think this is?
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That is overkill.
Yeah, that's true, All right.
Well, let's just end thisepisode with do you guys want to
do a grave robbery or a lawthat I don't like A law?
Speaker 1 (41:24):
that you don't like Grave robbery.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Steal them bodies.
Steal them bodies.
Join me, kyle, steal thembodies.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
All right, Kyle, you joined her, so we'll do the law
tomorrow that I don't like.
It involves animals, and howmany you can have?
Oh, a cemetery worker, he dugup a baby's corpse.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Oh my God, oh my God, that was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
He just sung up digging up baby's corpses like
it's Pet Cemetery.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Yeah, why why?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I don't know.
And then he dumped the.
It's not funny.
It's not funny, Jesus.
He dumps the casket down a hilland then the baby's body went
flying.
Oh my God, what was the?
Speaker 3 (41:59):
purpose of this.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
So he's a gravedigger .
He's in West Virginia.
He dug up the corpse of a babythat was buried more than 40
years ago.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Wow, it's a 40-year-old baby.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Old-ass baby.
Then he tossed the casket downa hill and then it sent the
skeletal body flying through theair as the lid opens.
Wow, Just imagine seeing it.
It's raining baby skeletons.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Yeah, that'd be a pretty crazy thing, especially
if you're in the cemeteryvisiting someone that kind of
flings over in your peripherals.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
God, give us a sign that Timothy's still alive.
There he is.
He came back as Superman, so hedug up this grave because he
was building.
Apparently they're running outof everyone's dying in West
Virginia, right yeah, they keepon dying, dying and dying, so
they're running out of room.
The dude's name is MatthewFortner, 49 years old, who's
(42:54):
digging a plot for a new graveat the Bayless Cemetery in Salt
Rock, west Virginia.
That's when he allegedlyunearthed the casket, which was
buried in 1982.
So I think it didn't have anameplate, it didn't have the
tombstone, got it.
So he's just like what the fuck?
What do we got here?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, right, my way.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Yeah, no one cares about this.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Yeah, it's like he was like digging and he was like
digging, digging, digging.
He's like casket not mineDigging, baby, not mine Digging,
digging, digging.
Just looking for something.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Indeed.
So he got the casket and thenhe threw it over a hillside and
then the baby's corpse wasthrown from the coffin as it
rolled in the grass.
Jesus, and then this is okay.
This is again not funny.
A couple decorating gravestonesin anticipation of Easter right
, which is, I believe, whenJesus comes back.
(43:44):
They witnessed all of this.
Zombie Jesus, Zombie Jesus,Absolutely.
That's very good, and that'swhy I worship.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Zombie Jesus every day.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Thank you, zombie Jesus, for being my Lord and
Savior.
He says this is what thewitness says.
It takes a sick individual, inmy opinion, to desecrate a grave
and mess with a corpse periodPeriod.
So Fortner was arrested inconnection to the incident.
He is charged with disintermentand displacement of a dead body
(44:20):
.
He's been held in $105,000 bondand faces up to five years in
prison.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Wait a minute.
That's like a lot.
Someone had to give him thisinstruction.
Who gave him this direction?
It's not like as a cemeterydigger, like you're the one that
makes the final calls.
No, you're like the bottom dudethat just gets the directions
and just starts digging.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Right.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
So his boss probably told him that we need space.
I don't care how you do it, butyou need to make space.
People are dying and we need todig them.
And he's like fuck it, well, Iguess I don't know, this doesn't
seem like this is like theoldest area.
I'm like this is like theoldest area it doesn't feel like
there's all dusty flour.
No one's visiting.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
And, as we talked about a couple of episodes ago,
west Virginia, big people.
Oh, yeah, so you got to haveless bodies, more space.
Yeah, so I don't think hedeserves five years in prison.
I think he's probably verydesensitized because he's a
(45:23):
grave digger and he sees corpsesall the time.
I think you will change youropinion here in a second.
Okay, we haven't got to thecraziest part yet.
Wait, there's a crazier part.
Yes, officials said the graveof the young child, just months
old.
That was the only burial plotthey found to be disturbed.
Yes, the name of the child isnot released.
Sheriff Adams says we do thinkthis is an isolated incident.
We don't think it's going to bea trend and this is kind of a
twist.
Yes, previously, fortner, hewas convicted of murder in 1910.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Alright, okay, okay, okay, okay.
He was convicted of murder.
Sure what?
Speaker 1 (45:50):
Oh hell, yeah Well well, he's killing people, he's
chucking dead babies over hisshoulder.
Did you want a lead with?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
that?
No, what the hell.
You don't just bury the baby,you bury the lead.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
How can you be?
I mean, I guess it makes sense,you have a resume here.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Did he kill that baby ?
Speaker 2 (46:06):
No, no, I don't believe so.
Yes, he was convicted of murderin 1997 and sentenced to life
with mercy in 2008.
Do they not do backgroundchecks on gravediggers anymore,
buddy?
Yeah, it's mandatory thatyou've killed somebody.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
Yeah, no, it's fine, we can let them do this.
They're all already dead.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
They're already like yeah, my job's done here.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I see on your CV you've killed a bunch of people.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
So what you're saying is you're comfortable around
the deceased.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
So I guess that's not good Wow.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
He didn't really do a lot of time he only did 11
years.
Yeah, they said it was prisonwith mercy, life with mercy.
I've never heard that ever.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
I've never heard that before.
Have mercy.
Uncle Jesse just showed up andsaid that.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Yeah, best defense attorney there is.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Your Honor, cut it out, cut it out.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
So he only served 11 years for murder and
theoretically he's looking athalf of that for tossing this
coffin, oh my God.
And the baby went flying.
So the child's corpse was takento a state medical examiner's
office.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
That's crazy.
And imagine him being amurderer that already served
time, that is out, and then he'sjust doing his job poorly.
But he thinks he's doing hisjob and then he gets clipped for
it and he's like are youfucking kidding me?
You guys didn't even treat methis badly when I killed
somebody.
Like seriously I threw onecorpse by accident.
It was already dead Right.
And now, all of a sudden, I'mthe asshole.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Also if we're doing it by weight.
It was a baby.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Right, it's very tiny , come on.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Oh my Lord, Anything, anything from the fans, yes,
okay.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Who's got it?
They're saying, started the newForest, fenn treasure hunt
early.
What's Forest?
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Fenn.
Oh okay, Very fun.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Zombie Jesus future horror movie.
A buzzard flies away with theskeleton, gets hit by a plane,
drops the skeleton over theocean and a shark eats it.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Oh, very possible.
Maybe that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Chris G was asking if we saw the story about Uranus
Apparently Uranus.
It's been found that days therelast 28 seconds longer than we
originally thought, but wehaven't got into that today.
Someone's just asking.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah, we didn't get into that part Pay attention Pay
attention.
How do they even know that?
Well, I'll look into that.
You know my crack science brain.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
Yeah, I'll look into that.
You have to check with yourresearch.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Yeah, I think the Earth is a triangle.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah, it's a Dorito.
You're a tri-earther.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Yes, I'm a tri-earther Exactly A
tri-earther Jeff was sayingMcNuggies are good with ranch.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
All right.
Well, we'll accept anybody'smoney.
No, I'm just joking.
There's a lot of ranch headsout there, yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
A lot of ranch heads.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
I wouldn't get choked out over it, but LOL, all right
everyone.
Thank you so much for watchingAgain.
Thank you, bridget, for sendingus the gift.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Bernadette.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Oh yes, I'm sorry, bernadette, and I believe
Bridget sent us the email.
So thank you so much.
You guys are so sweet and ifyou guys want to send anything,
dm me or email us and I willsend you guys our address.
Yes, okay, everyone, hailyourself.
We'll talk to you soon, bye,bye.
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