Episode 46: The State of Georgia vs. Heaven

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From a mysterious pigeon abduction conspiracy to a medical breakthrough in fertility treatment, this episode takes you on a wild journey through some of the strangest news stories you've likely never heard.

We kick things off with a listener email describing an elaborate underground operation where pigeons are allegedly lured with treats over weeks before being captured and transported to Pennsylvania for live skeet shooting. Is it urban legend or disturbing reality? The debate is just getting started.

Diving deeper, we explore the latest developments in the Brian Koberger murder case, where his own criminal justice thesis about avoiding evidence at crime scenes might become his undoing. The irony isn't lost on us as we break down how his academic work eerily mirrors the methodology of his alleged crimes.

The absurdity continues with Billy McFarland's attempts to launch Fyre Festival 2 despite his previous disaster and mental health diagnosis, Jessica Simpson's unconventional beauty secret involving snake semen, and the groundbreaking story of the world's first sperm-making stem cell transplant. We also tackle a Florida man's urine-flinging revenge on a store that rejected his job application, a Colorado town's controversial pet ownership limits, and the complex moral questions raised by a prison inmate who targeted convicted child predators.

Throughout it all, we maintain our signature blend of shock, humor, and occasional moral questioning that keeps our listeners coming back for more. Whether you're a true crime enthusiast, a medical curiosity seeker, or someone who simply enjoys the absurd side of humanity, this episode delivers something for everyone.

Send us your strangest news stories at [e-mail] or check out our Patreon at patreon.com/diebud to watch episodes live and join the conversation.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's gonna be OK
Bud.
I am Ben Kissel.
At Ben Kissel, one joined byJerry Aquino.
Hi, at Miss underscore, jerry.
That's J-E-R-I-I and KylePlouffe.
Hey, at Kyle Plouffe.
Check out our Patreon,patreoncom slash diebud.

(00:34):
You can watch every episodelive and comment.
Also, shoot us an email.
Okbudpod at gmailcom, please.
And that is where we starttoday.
Email Email.
Nice, this comes in from Pat.
Okay, it's Pat.
Hello, pat.
The title is Pigeon AbductionConspiracy.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Ooh, yes, I'm listening.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
He says hey, ben, hey Jerry, hey, kyle, long-time
listener loving the show.
Thank you so much for your kindwords.
He says hey, ben, hey, jerry,hey, kyle, long-time listener
loving the show.
Thank you so much for your kindwords.
He says for some context, mycompany provides many services
to the New York City ParksDepartment.
On this particular day I wasassigned as a site inspector for
a crew doing street planting.
So they were doing street treeplanting.
Okay, thank you for what you do.

(01:22):
That's lovely, he says.
My role was to monitor theirwork, so proper planting
practices were followed, and toensure the highest likelihood of
the survival of these babytrees.
Nice, so that's good.
So I do like that.
Pat is admitting he wasn'tactually doing anything.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
He was watching.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
He's the overseer Keeping an eye out.
Okay, thank you, pat, for that.
This meant I was standingaround a lot, as I was
professionally standing, which Ido love that.
I love that this guy comes upto me and asks are you getting
rid of the trees?
Surprisingly that someone wouldthink that, or that's

(02:02):
surprisingly common that peoplethink that.
After I explained what we weredoing, the conversation took a
turn.
A turn.
Yes, the man proceeded to go ona tirade about quote the
underground pigeon abductionracket.
Whoa, what?
Yes, the underground pigeonabduction racket, he says.

(02:23):
Apparently there's a wholeblack market around this.
What they do is they put baitout early in the morning,
between 3 and 5 am, wheneveryone else is naturally
asleep, unless you're analcoholic or someone who works
in janitorial services.
They use breadcrumbs, rice andother pigeon treats at strategic

(02:44):
street corners and they do itover the course of a few weeks
to get the pigeons complacent.
Once they've earned thepigeons' trust, they come in
with a big tarp or a big net,they catch them all and throw
them in a van where they drivethem to Pennsylvania and use
them for live skeet shooting.
Whoa, for live.
What shooting live?

Speaker 2 (03:05):
skeet shooting.
Whoa For live, what shooting.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Skeet shooting, skate , skate, skate.
It's like when you shoot with,it's like a shotgun type gun
they shoot cum.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yes, that's what I thought itwas Pigeon bukkake.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
They're not coming on the pigeons, they're shooting
them.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Oh, even better, or worse.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yes, this is like surviving the pigeon game.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Wow, that's crazy.
Also, I don't know, I don'tknow how much I you know, I want
to hear the letter, I want tofinish it.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, that's it, that's it, yeah, he says isn't that
just terrible?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, that's pretty awful.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's what he says.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
It's weird for me, as a New York allowed themselves
to get caught.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
The pigeon is again this took weeks.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
They're gangsters.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
They are gangsters.
They're smart.
I have a respect for the pigeon.
I was pooped on by a pigeon andI looked up at him and I said
you got me good, yep, same here.
But next time I'm going to poopon you Really.
Yeah, I've tried to poop onevery pigeon I've ever seen,
since You've got afraid ofheights.
Right, I don't like to climb,so I can't shit on the pigeons.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
I see the dilemma.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
And then I want to thank Pat.
He also sent us a picture ofhis adorable dog, which I will,
of course, post on my Instagram.
I thought you were going to saythat he's A picture of him
shooting a bunch of penguins.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
A pile of dead pigeons and he's like and I
found where they, I found thelanding spot where they all go.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Well, I think that's absolutely fascinating that's
insane.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Is that?
Is it true?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
it's.
It comes in from a loyallistener.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah no, I know, but well, he was doing his job.
And then he said that someonewalked up to him and said this
story yeah, after he asked himif you were removing the trees
and it is someone who came up toa random person in New York and
just randomly told them a verydark, cryptic thing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know either.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I'm going to go with.
I want it to be true.
So it is Actually.
You know what?
I don't want it to be true,Never mind.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Do you want it to be true?

Speaker 1 (05:00):
I respect the New York City Pigeon, although again
they have angered a lot ofpeople.
People call them flying rats,so yeah, that's what they do.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
They stand around in their Timbs in the park and then
they poop on people.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
They really do, but sometimes they poop on your
enemy and you say, pigeon, youare the best today.
Yes, I love you.
Well, speaking of murder, let'sdo an update on a much more
serious murder, because thisinvolves four students from
Moscow, idaho.
Let's do a small update on BrianKoberger so obviously, as we

(05:34):
know, brian Koberger, the manaccused of killing these four
students he was a criminaljustice student and apparently
he wrote an entire article forone of his exams for his level
300 criminal justice course, andthe entire premise of this
article was not leaving evidencebehind, which is ironic,

(05:56):
because he failed that testmiserably, if that sheath of the
knife is truly his.
So he wrote this in 2020 duringfinals, and he discusses what
it takes in order to cover yourtracks.
Now people who are in thecriminal justice world say this
isn't looking good for him andwe'll see if this is admissible
in court.

(06:17):
So this is according to JosephGiccoloni.
Joseph Giccoloni, he saysprosecutors are going to talk
about this when they bring upthe lack of forensic evidence
left by the killer.
So this is what Brian Kobergerwrote in his thesis.
He says wear gloves to protectthe scene from contamination.

(06:39):
This will enable that Iinterestingly enough, he uses
the word I that I avoid leavingmy latent fingerprint.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's so dumb you couldn't even say the sentence
with you.
Right, it's an easy, likegrammar decision to make.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
So the detective says they're going to say look how
much he knew about this.
He talks about fiber-freeclothing.
He does.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Yes, because that's what he ordered on Amazon, is
that right?
Yeah, he ordered fiber-freecoveralls.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Oh he's fucked.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, he's fucked.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
If this is admissible .
I'm not sure if this is goingto be in the court case or not.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
I don't know if the jury it's so annoying if they're
like we can't look at this, whywouldn't it be admissible?

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Because it was a 2020 thesis that he wrote.
I don't know.
I mean, is this evidence or isthis just a person trying to
pass a criminal justice classBecause I mean not for nothing.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
There are I mean, there's so much I can see in a
criminal justice college a bunchof, like you know, jerk off
dudes are like I know how topull off the perfect crime.
It's obvious, this is how youdo it.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, that's what they talk about at lunch.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
They're just like yeah, I feel like dudes are
always doing that anyway, right.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well, women, they are the ones who know how to pull
off the perfect crimes.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, but they're not talking about it out loud
because they're not dumb.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
No, they diary about it.
Yeah, that's true, they keepdocuments.
So, according to the articlethat was written by Koberger, he
says protective clothing, bootcovers, eyewear, fiber-free
overalls, face masks, hairnets,gowns and anything that will
prevent me once again me fromcontaminating the scene with the

(08:18):
things I bring with me, that'sinsane.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
He sounds insane.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
So he really does put himself in the killer's shoes
for the sake of this project.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
He's like no, I'm the murderer.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
So, according to Diccoloni, he says this is not
helpful for him, the same waythat he talks about this, the
same way he talks about thisfictitious cop, about not
leaving evidence behind.
So perhaps he's speaking in,he's speaking from the
perspective of this characterthat he created, which turns out
to be a fictitious cop.
So he says the same way hetalks about this fictitious cop,

(08:53):
about not leaving evidencebehind, we might have a little
insight into how, or at least ananswer about the lack of
forensic evidence left behind.
The lack of forensic evidenceleft behind, we shall see.
He goes on to say he doesn'tmention it by name, but Locard's
exchange principle, the theoryof transfer between all evidence

(09:14):
.
He does talk about the transferof evidence a number of times
throughout this paper.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Transfer of evidence.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yes, which I had never heard that Locard's
exchange principle, which soundslike it belongs at a pawn shop
somewhere.
Lastly, he says this is a quotefrom the article that Koberger
wrote Again thesis.
He says crimes of passion arerooted in emotionality and
impulsivity.
In this case, we can likelycount on there being latent

(09:44):
fingerprints on the doorknob andall over the knife and victim.
Wow, we shall.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
So technically, they're going to find no
fingerprints on any of thedoorknobs.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Well, remember, the only fingerprints they found
were of other people, I believe,other than the sheath from the
knife.
Yeah, yes.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah, they went through his Amazon stuff.
He ordered a K-Bar knife thatmatches exactly what they were
looking for.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
So lazy, by the way.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
The sheath, everything, everything on
fucking.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Amazon.
On Amazon you didn't want to goto like a mom and pop shop, pay
cash.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Amazon, and then he went to Walmart, which is also
the most.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Come on, dude, like all of this shit has a paper
trail.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Kept track of.
Yeah, he's got his debit cardon it, his name's on it and
everything.
It's like you, dumb fuck.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
You missed that part in your thesis.
Cash Pay in cash, that's verytrue.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Also, mr Kohlberger, think globally, act locally.
Yeah, I know, seriously,there's someone sitting there
being like Barb we're going tohave to shut the doors if no one
comes in here and buys a k-barknife right now.

(10:52):
He could have saved a familybusiness while killing four
other, destroying four otherfamilies.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
That ain't the merchant's fault.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Well, that's him acting locally, yeah, that would
be him acting.
He's thinking globally whenhe's like I gotta get to uruguay
, yeah.
Lastly, he says surveillancefootage is circumstantial
evidence but may leadinvestigators in the right
direction and to theapprehension of the suspect,
which is also interesting thatKoberger wrote that, because
that's basically what happenedin his case with his white car.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
He's so, so fucked.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, he's really.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
He basically just laid out his plan.
Yeah, it's a blueprint forexactly what he ended up doing.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
And they can connect it to different points in his
murdering journey.
Yeah, that's what it is.
It's a blueprint for exactlywhat he ended up doing.
Yeah, and they can connect itto different points in his
murdering journey.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Like I said, going back to all the weapons he
bought online, Online.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Online and he was on a running app where he would be
tracked and show his progress.
He was running through theirneighborhood all the time
Running app.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
So lame Gicoloni, when it comes to Koberger's
paper that he wrote for one ofthe classes, again he says he'd
probably give it a B.
He didn't even give it an A.
I mean, you've got to give theguy at least a B+.
He did it.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, well, he got caught, but he also failed yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
No, that's true so did he get 100%?

Speaker 2 (12:05):
No, no that's true.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yeah, everyone has a plan, until they get punched in
the face.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
That's very true, and he does have a very punchable
face.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, incredibly so.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
And maybe we should just start investigating the
criminal minds of people who arein the criminal justice
departments at all of our localuniversities.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, they have.
They have all of theinformation.
It's just like with people thatget into therapy.
It doesn't mean that they'renecessarily like really good
about their own mental health,it's just that they want to.
They want to get to know aboutthe root cause of why they're
fucked up.
Exactly so they're all nutsAlso.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
I have a lot of therapy.
I have two friends who becametherapists and they were both
from the improv comedy community, which actually might be a
great skill.
Set you just, yes, and everyoneinto not committing suicide.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
I don't know, I guess so.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
All right, Well, speaking of psychotic people and
mental illness.
Small update on Fyre Festival 2.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Oh, my God that is not happening.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
It's not happening.
Specifically on the mentalstate of Billy McFarland.
He is being called mentally ill, delusional, and this is his
lawyer says that he believes hehas special talents.
Oh no, nothing has bared fruit.
Nothing in any Any of his pasthas made me think this guy's got

(13:28):
Some special talent.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
He's got some special yeah, even if he did
Successfully throw the party.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Which is really All he wants to do.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
What's the talent?

Speaker 1 (13:36):
I don't know finding talent, but he's only found
Antonio Brown, the formerpsychotic football player so far
.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
I am jealous of his confidence.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, but are you?

Speaker 3 (13:49):
he did time.
Yeah, he's so confident he wentto prison he went to prison and
then he came out of prison.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
He's like let's do that again.
Yeah, Run it back.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah, and isn't that just psychopathy in itself?
Just trying to do somethingover and over again, trying to
get different results?

Speaker 1 (14:06):
It really is.
So.
Fyre Festival 2, it's now beenmoved to a different location
and, much like the firstlocation, the second location is
like we have no idea.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
It doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
They're like they filed no paperwork.
We have no clue what's going tohappen, and all of this is
supposed to take place in lessthan two months.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Wow, he really thinks that he can just say things and
it's fine.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
He just snaps his finger and it happens.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
But it didn't last time it didn't.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
No, it was really bad .
Yeah, so we shall see as thiscontinues.
On psychologist identified asdr cheryl paradis.
She evaluated billy's mentalhealth and its relation to, and
his and its relationship to, theoffense conduct.
This is according to a courtfiling.
She says it paints a powerfulpicture of the impact that

(14:56):
billy's mental health issueshave had on his conduct.
They, they say diagnostic testshe scores strongly indicated
that he suffers from unspecificbipolar-related disorder.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
That's what they say about Kanye West as well.
Yeah, extreme mania.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
So why is all we do is cover people with bipolar?
Now, are these the stars?

Speaker 2 (15:21):
of modern era.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
Pretty much I guess so.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
So now he's like ah, it's always someone crazy,
that's a genius.
And then they like to roll withthat and they're like I'm a
genius.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
And then that falls into.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
But I would say that falls into like schizophrenic
episodes, where they like fallinto like delusions of grandeur,
periods of time where theythink they can throw this
amazing festival that they haveno paperwork for, that no one
else knows about, but they'retrying to make it sound like a
very real thing.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
And, as I've said before, I blame Wayne's World 2
for trying to launch Waynestock,because in real life it doesn't
work.
According to the psychologists,they say that McFarlane's
behavior is partly due, orfueled, rather fueled by a
substantial pattern of severealcohol abuse, perhaps a form of
self-medication for hisbipolar-related disorder.

(16:14):
Oh man, anyway, as it goes on,obviously this thing is not
going to happen.
If you did buy a ticket, you'reprobably doing it for a local
news station to see how it goes,because I saw that actually
happening, where they bought a1400 ticket.
Oh my god, they're like, let'ssee.
And there's no email theyreceived, there's no
confirmation they received.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
the entire thing is a scam you at least gotta get
another wet sandwich that's myfavorite.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
So no, that was so, so gross to even see.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, with like Kraft singles, not even actual cheese
.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Just like thrown onto it.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
But we all do admit a little schadenfreude.
It was like all the prettiestmodels in the world.
I'm going to go and have thetime of my life.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
That is kind of funny yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, but then they got really bad sandwiches.
I was like that didn't evenJimmy Jones, that's kind of
funny.
This, I was like that didn'tmean Jimmy Jones, that's kind of
funny.
This man couldn't even get youJimmy Jones.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Couldn't even get you free smells.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
But I'm starting to have just a.
I have the smallest amount ofsympathy because truly he is so
obviously sick.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like he needs like some serious
help.
He needs to stay hospitalized.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Maybe it's the people around him that I'm concerned
about Does he have anyone.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Who.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Who is like, allowing him to like, continue forth and
say like, yes, let's get you infront of a television, let's
get you in front of Instagram.
Talk about this party.
You're going to throw.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
But that's the thing with that disorder it is
compelling television.
Oh, it's like when.
Kanye just gave that interviewto what?
Was it academics or somethingwhere he wears the black clans
outfit and you're like what thefuck am?
I watching I thought he lookedlike a prisoner at abu grabe.
Yeah, someone just pointed athis penis, um, but it is just it
.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
You can't look away no, it's a train wreck right
slow motion, but uh yeah, it'sgonna be fun up until the end
and he still says it's going on,but I I really can't imagine it
does hopefully no one actuallybuys the tickets this time.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, hopefully that one journalist I saw, who did
buy the ticket, is forced to goand report live.
That's what I want to see.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's in the middle of like a random island.
It's like I don't think anyonecame.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
No one seems to be here.
I got a beach ball.
I put a fucking face on it andplayed my name and sex with it.
Yep, ever see Fucking face onit and playing her name and sex
with it?
Yep, you ever see that moviewith Tom Hanks?
I'm getting good on Tom Hanks.
It was a beautiful film man.
Yeah, it was a beautiful castaway.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
Don't be homophobic to Wilson.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Oh is he?
I guess it is a boy isn't it?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Well, yeah, Wilson.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, maybe a testicular cancer.
Just one nut left, one ballAlso.
I do blame fame, I blameHollywood, I blame For Wilson,
not for.
Wilson, he's innocent.
He's a volleyball.
He was when people had to gooutside to play.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
Wilson is a product of Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Wilson is a product of Hollywood.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
That is true, that is true, but no.
The mental illness that goeswith chasing infamy, yes, and
also, when you are in thelimelight for too long, I think
it does rot your brain, and I'mtalking about Jessica Simpson
here.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
What.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, she's not as stupid as that reality show made
her out to be no, no Chicken ofthe sea.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
I know.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
We all know it.
We all know that was a farceand she was doing that with the
guy from 98 Degrees she wasbeing silly, nick Lachey, who
now is a new wife and hosts.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Love is Blind for seasons and seasons.
At this point, he does.
Him and his wife.
Yeah, they host.
Love is Blind.
They're like on season, likeeight at this point.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, no kidding.
Yeah Well, jessica Simpson, shelooks lovely.
And why does she look lovely?
Apparently, she's sucking andsipping on snake cum.
Wow, it's the cum from snakesthat's making her look good.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
What is that?
What Wait, I don't know.
This wasn't a play on, liketalking about her ex.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
No.
So she does this whole thingwhere she's walking through LAX
and then someone's like, hey,you look really good.
And she's like, yeah, that'sbecause I've been chugging down
a bunch of snake cum.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Is that verbatim?
Did she say that I've beenchugging down a bunch of snake
cum?

Speaker 1 (20:08):
No, but she says she's chugging down a Chinese
herb cocktail that againcontains snake semen.
So she is using the wordchugging.
Well, that's just.
I would assume that she chugsit because you don't want to
taste it.
You got to shut your eyes, yougot to chug real fast.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Well, maybe it's like a shot.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Okay, maybe she shoots it.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
How many snakes is she jerking off?

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Enough to chug, enough to gurgle.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
That's somebody else's job.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Oh, what a gig.
I got a snake.
Greg, Can you milk?

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Oh, my God Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
I'm sorry, toby, you've got the smallest hands
here.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
You've got to jerk off the snakes.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, damn it.
I knew I shouldn't have beenborn with one little little
little hand.
My hand's so little I've got tojerk off all the snakes.
Yes, that's your job.
So she says that she's beensucking down the snake cum and
it's been really helping herfeel good.
It helps her feel healthy andit seems to be working.

(21:07):
So anyway, there you go.
Wow, if you want to be acelebrity, just go to your
backyard, find yourself yourlocal python, jerk it off.
Maybe you'll find a soulmatealong the process.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
and you'll feel good.
Maybe you'll be like a littlegarden snake.
Yes, yes, I feel like that'sgot to be good for your face.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, just rub it all over your face there.
Yeah, kyle, can you search howmuch snake cum is going for?

Speaker 3 (21:31):
uh, yes, right now.
I just looked up how big asnake penis is, oh great and
they said up to 1.2 inches long,up to what are you irish
average?
How expensive is snake sperm,although I will say, if you saw
a snake with a 1.2 inch penis,I'd be like that's pretty good,
healthy penis uh ai overviewsays there's no readily

(21:51):
available market or price forsnake sperm, so it's not
something you can purchase orsell and therefore it's not
expensive in the traditionalsense it's not expensive in the
traditional sense.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
In like the barter sense.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
But if you really fucking want it.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
I guess you can get it anywhere, it's just going to
cost you your dignity.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
I recommend going to a local Petco.
Get out of here, Toby.
We told you you're not allowedback.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Taking all these snakes to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
Just comes back with a gallon of milk.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
That's not milk A gallon, it's probably like a
little bottle the snake'sdehydrated Smiling.
Just relaxed and asleep.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Welcome to Happy Snake Land.
How do you keep them so happy?
You don't want to know.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
It's a volunteer program we have.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
Why is his skin coming off again?

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Don't commit the crime unless you want to do the
time.
Buddy, that's your third DUI.
You're on snake milkingbusiness.
You're on that duty now, myfriend.
It's court-ordered snakemilking.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
All right, but hear me out.
Would you pay for a $450parking ticket or would you jerk
off a couple of communityservice snakes for a couple
hours?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
I guess I would jerk off the snakes.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
I'd do that.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I don't know how you would arouse it.
What does that?

Speaker 2 (23:11):
even mean, that's just like you, just pinky it a
little bit in the one area thatit seems to have an opening
that's not its face.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I thought it was more of a cloaca.
A what A cloaca.
Like a weird thing.
Kyle, can you search how toarouse a snake?

Speaker 3 (23:31):
sexually.
What are snakes into?
Yeah, is it like a BDSM?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
thing.
I know they're into choking,that's for certain, and
obviously some venom play.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
They're into hissing.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah, they love their hissing, they love sentryles
and tongue flicking.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Oh you gotta use your tongue.
Oh my god, I so technically.
Even if you have little hands,it doesn't matter.
You want a guy with the biggesttongue.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah, yeah, they're all just a bunch of lesbians get
gene simmons on this yeahthey're licking.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Oh god, that's so gross they gross, they like a
good chin rub.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
How dare you?

Speaker 2 (24:06):
They're just fat in Western Ben yes that's all that
we want.
Chin rub.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Nice little gullet rub.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Went to go get my beard shaved, came all over the
place.
No Well, let's stay in theworld of Spunk.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Why not?

Speaker 1 (24:25):
A man has received the world's first sperm
transplant.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Ew get off me no.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Then that's not his sperm.
It's not his.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
What's going on?
Those are his stepkids.
He's in his early 20s.
He received the world's firstsperm-making stem cell
transplant.
So, it will be his.
I gotcha.
They just put the battery backin his taint.
They did.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
It sounds like they planted seeds in him.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Well, apparently his cock wasn't, there was some
problem with it.
So they got the sperm cells inor not the sperm cells, the stem
cells in there.
So then it activated that partof the body and then now it
makes a bunch of spunk.
So the name of this diagnosisis azuspermia Azuspermia
Azuspermia A-Z-O-O spermia.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Azuspermia.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
Azuspermia, and it's a condition that makes no sperm
to be present in the ejaculateShootin' blanks.
Oh shit, which is all I guess.
It's very viscous-y, probablyvery clear.
So this happened to him becausehe had childhood cancer.
Oh, and he went through.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Oh my God, that's so sad.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
He went through chemo .
Yes, he went through chemo andthe chemo was like I'll kill the
cancer, but also I'll kill yourkids.
We're going to kill yes,exactly, your future swimming
children.
Yeah, so apparently, azuspermiaaffects roughly 645,000 men
just in the US, wow, wow,between the ages 25 to 50,

(26:00):
where's why are we talking aboutthat?

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Why are we talking about that?
Why are we talking about that?

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Our barren men, your barren men?
Well, because if we try to doanything to fix it, you're going
to be all like ew, get off mybody.
It's my choice.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
That's a good point.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
I'll control my shit.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Solid point.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
So doctors implanted the man's own stem cells which
were harvested and frozen duringhis childhood.
Interesting stem cells whichwere harvested and frozen during
his childhood Interesting, yes,I'm sorry.
Before.
Rather, he underwentchemotherapy.
So they were like buddy, we gotto juice you.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
And this is it.
We know you're seven.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yes, what the fuck.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
I don't want to know.
Oh my God, I don't want to knowhow that happened.
Yeah, jesus Christ.
Yeah, I don't want to know howthat happened.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah, jesus Christ, that's.
Yeah.
I don't want to know how thathappened either.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Because I wasn't.
You know, usually you have tohit the puberty before you can
get the sperm.
Also.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
I don't know how the sperm count works in men Like
you.
Guys are born with like 47billion.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh, unlimited.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
And then every day you just get a new 47 billion.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Unlimited.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Oh, that's fun.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
Good for you guys, it's pretty sick.
It's pretty sick.
It's like playing afirst-person shooter on Easy.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
That's great.
Yeah, I see that.
I see that.
Yeah, you know, girls, theyjust start with one finite
number of eggs and then theyjust start dropping off as you
go on in life.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
It's insane.
Yeah, we get constant reloads.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, you get constant reloads.
We have to work with like 50.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, you have your artillery.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
They're like good luck.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Do they know how many you have, can they?

Speaker 3 (27:32):
count, I think 300,000.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, I think they can count 300,000 is a lot.
Yeah, but they fall off a lotby like a lot.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
Oh, it's not just one each period.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
No, no, it was just one egg drop that period.
Yeah, yeah, that's what we arewe're chickens.
We're just dropping literaleggs into the toilet.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
Oh.
Average number is between oneand two million Of female eggs
inside of a woman.
Yeah, it's by the time shereaches puberty.
Typically she has around 300 to500,000 remaining puberty.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Typically she has around 300 to 500 000 remaining.
So see how much they fuck theydrop when you're like a teenager
you're doing cartwheels on thein the sandbox and they're
flying out.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yep one falls into a dude's drink, he's like I didn't
know, I got boba tea and then,by the time you're in your 20s,
you're down to like 100.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
And then, by the time you're in your 20s, you're down
to like 100.
And then, by the time you're inyour 30s, they're like you want
to save your last two For anomelet.
We'll just throw those in afreezer for you, just in case.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
So the doctors use the sperm-forming stem cells
which are present in the testesat birth, and then they later
mature into sperm, and then thathappens during puberty.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
That's what I thought .
So they just took a giantneedle syringe to his balls and
then pulled out.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
At a very young age.
This poor child, you're notsupposed to have to deal with
this, well you know.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
But good for him it seems to have to deal with this
Well you know.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
But good for him.
It seems to have worked.
Ultrasounds have confirmed hishormone levels have not had any
damage to them and going forwardthe doctors will analyze a
sample of his semen twice a year.
Wow, oh that's nice.
Taste test they said yes to seeif it contains sperm cells.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Ew, stop tasting, yeah Stop drinking.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Stop tasting.
Yeah, Stop drinking.
The evidence ploof One moretaste, please.
According to Justice, accordingto Dr Justin Hooman.
He says, if refined and provensafe, spermatogenal stem cell
transplantation could be arevolutionary fertility

(29:45):
restoring technique for men whohave lost the ability to have a
dose.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Just for that one sentence.
Can I see that sentence?

Speaker 1 (29:52):
You want to see that sentence?
What?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
the hell happened.
I feel, like you had a stroke.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
I feel like I did too .
This guy's going to have a goodstroke.
Spermatogenial, Spermatogenial.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Stem cell transplantation.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
There we go, thank you.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
What the heck.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
We're all smart.
Look at you all smart.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Just you know, cum swapping.
Just call it what it is.
Call it what it is.
We're just trying to pull itout before it gets killed and
then we'll put it back in later.
And we tried it and it worked.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Revolutionary.
Revolutionary is what'shappening here and because of
this, if you are a young man whois going to have some issues
with your spunk, you can do thisbefore they go away.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, I was going to say that it sounds.
At first I was thinking likewhy would he want to in his like
early 20s or mid 20s, howeverold he is to try to fix this
problem when it sounds like he'skind of scot-free for a young
man to just run around?
But I guess if it's shoot inblanks then maybe he has some
splaining to do.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, maybe he's not a self-centered, egotistical
entertainer like us and you wantto have a family and live a
normal life?
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, I guess that sounded absolutely blasphemous
to me, but he's just a young 27.
He's not ready for a family.
Yeah, I guess that soundedabsolutely blasphemous to me.
I was like but he's just ayoung 27.
He's not ready for a family.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Well, it tends to be when it all happens.
So, anyway, if you are someoneout there struggling, your
prayers have been answered andget ready to be a father.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
Yeah, jeff said let's combine stories and get it with
snake sperm in his testicles.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh Whoa.
Fight the reptilians with ourown version of reptilian.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Half snake, half man person I love that.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
I think that's how our politicians were born.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Yes, definitely they weren't born, my friend, they
were hatched oh.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, yeah, with pee-pees up to 1.2 inches.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
I guarantee you that's large.
That's why they hate humankind.
I would love to know theaverage length of the penis of
the men of Congress.
Would I Wait?
Did I say that?
Probably the same.
Did I say that?
Imagine Ted Cruz's littlefucking dick.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I don't want Moving on.
We don't want people to be.
Imagine Ted Cruz's littlefucking dick, nope.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Moving on, moving on.
We don't want people to bedisgusted and turned off the
show.
I won't do it, let's talk aboutpiss.
Oh, that's good.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Anything but that.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Anything but that Everyone loves a good urine
story and we are in for a goodtime here.
Okay, A Florida man?
He, of course.
Ah yes, a Florida man, he, ofcourse was arrested after he
allegedly flung multiple bottlesof his urine inside a molding
supplier store.
He struck at least one employee.

(32:48):
So why did he do this?
Because he was denied a jobthere.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
Eat my piss, wow, wow .

Speaker 1 (32:56):
So this is the guy.
His name is John Connington,he's 51 years old.
He threw bottles of his ownurine at the store and at an
employee because they did nothire him, which?

Speaker 2 (33:09):
makes a lot of sense, real mature guy.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
He seems fucking psycho.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
I also want to point out that they didn't hire him
because anyone any guesses hesmelled like piss.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
No, Because he.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Go obvious.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
He'd been to jail.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Registered sex offender.
Oh, I thought I'd give you theclues.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Wow Wait Florida.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Obvious.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Registered sex offender.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yes, it was the Doerrs, molding and More in St
Petersburg, florida.
It's a beautiful place, thehome of Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
It really is.
That's hilarious, yes.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
It caused more than $1,000 worth of damages because
apparently the piss just likewent all over the place.
And it's a what Molding supplystore yes, it's a molding and
doors and more store, oh wow, hefucked up a lot of shit.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
And I think we found out what the more is.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Piss.
You have any of those pissscreens?
Oh no.
So, he chucked multiple bottles.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
How much did he have to drink to get multiple bottles
of his piss?

Speaker 1 (34:14):
And how quickly did he fill it up?

Speaker 2 (34:16):
I know, and at no point during any of these
pissing in the bottles, was helike.
Is this maybe not the way toexpress how to show them that
they made a mistake for nothiring me?

Speaker 1 (34:29):
I mean technically, it's an improvement from him
going in there and diddling allof them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
I guess so yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
So maybe he's like look at this judge.
Can we at least acknowledge thegrowth that yes, I threw piss
at them, but at no point did Ifinger pop their buttholes?

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Right.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, so come on, come on.
Community service, come on.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Cut me some slack, you're guilty.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Here's a piss.
So, yes, how do you get that inhere?
You don't want to know.
So he poured the contentsthroughout the store, including
all the merchandise.
So this must be a cool store.
They got merch.
They have merch.
At some point we have to getmerch.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, we have got to get merch, we will.
It cannot be trucker hats.
Okay, no trucker hats.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
That's fine.
So he has an extensive criminalhistory, including lewd and
laspicious exhibition, andapparently that all became
uncovered during the interviewprocess.
So then they were like no, wecan't do all that here, Get out

(35:30):
of here.
The last thing we want any sexpest working with is doors
knowing how to open and closethem.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Lock them.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Attack your next victim.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
I know, and then asking for and then the
interview he's just like.
So how much bathroom time am Iallowed?
How many bathroom breaks am Iallowed in a shit?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Can I eat lunch on the toilet?
That would be kind of fun.
Sometimes I eat in the toilet.
I'm talking about that.
That's gross, kind of fun.
No, I sometimes eat in thetoilet, I'm talking about that,
though that's gross Kind of awhole process.
It's sad.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
It's like when you drink water and pee at the same
time.
Yeah, you're a full circuit.
Yeah, well, it also.
It just makes first of all.
Why would you want your currentfood to smell like you're
exiting food?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
You don't know what I mean.
It might make it.
No, that's not true.
So he went in and he splashedurine all over employees' bare
legs.
So employees, they were wearingshorts, cool company.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Okay, first of all, you shouldn't be wearing shorts,
I agree.
I agree, have someprofessionalism.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
It is Florida, it's St Petersburg, it's hot.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, that's actually super true.
You know, and then the managerlooks down and is like you know
what?
I fucking told them that weshouldn't be so lenient on the
uniform.
What's behind the doors?

Speaker 3 (36:42):
Casual Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Casual Tuesday.
He then fled on foot and thenone of the piss victims he
started running after him.
Piss victim yes, you don't peeon me, I'll pee on you, I won't
pee on you.
And then at one pointCoddington raised a skateboard
in the air as if he was going toswing at the victim.
So I guess he had a.
Did he have a fuckingskateboard with him?

(37:06):
The whole?

Speaker 2 (37:06):
time Did he roll in and then just like, pull out
like a satchel of like bottlesand start throwing them?

Speaker 1 (37:14):
His biggest crime has been a 51 year old with a
skateboard.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yes, there is this guy's a little cornball, start
throwing them.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
His biggest crime has been a 51-year-old with a
skateboard.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah, seriously, this guy's a little cornball.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Like in yoga pants.
Why he was eventuallyapprehended, charged with felony
battery, criminal mischief,which sounds cute.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
Criminal.
I mean, it is pretty on par.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, it just sounds like you steal all the
blueberries out of a pie.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
It sounds like you threw a bunch of bottles of piss
.
Yeah, that's criminal mischiefright there.
Remember the dude that was justleaving bottles of piss
everywhere.
Do you think it's this guy?

Speaker 1 (37:50):
No, as a matter of fact, there is a small update on
that.
If you want to search that Kyle, I think they call him Piss
Bandit.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
The Piss Bandit the Piss.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Bandit yes, oh yeah, the Pasadena Piss Bandit yes, he
was-.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Did he donate a couple of bottles to the-.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
To the cause.
Yeah, he was also charged withwhat seems to be a more serious
offense, which is aggravatedassault.
Ooh.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
So yes, he punched his pee.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Apparently this isn't super uncommon.
Uh, apparently this isn't superuncommon.
In oregon, a mysterious uhperson, lar, left large gallons
of jug and urine throughout hisneighborhood, which I believe
may be the piss band.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Oh, isn't super uncommon it's not.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
I mean I guess people , you know, everyone's got piss
that's one thing we all have.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
I've I've never put my piss in a bottle.
I can understand if you're likeon a really long road trip,
especially if you you're a dude.
You guys have that option?

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Oh, of course, yeah, naturally.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
That's fine, that's functional, but I can't think of
a reason why I would ever needto do that.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
You know if you could have piss in a bottle?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
I'll just be 67 years old going to the doctor with my
bottles.
For reference, I'll just be 67years old going to the doctor
with my bottles for reference Belike look doctor, I ate this
and it looks like this.
But then when I eat this, itlooks like this.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
And it all smells like this.
Have you tried?

Speaker 1 (39:05):
pineapple have you tried the pineapple?
Women do complain a lot aboutthe urination situation between
men and women, but it's not thatgreat.
I mean it's fine.
Yeah, we get to piss standingup.
Yeah, but like so much otherstuff sucks yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
We, we have like the spray method.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Right.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
And we can.
We can really like open up thehose and make it go.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
You can also get a lot of money.
You paid for people to watch,yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, also that.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
Yeah Well, the Oregonian that, yeah well the
oregonian piss bandit could bepano man oregon oh, one of our
own he says I know nothingthat'd be great if one of y'all
did something.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Make the show, get the show out there, all right.
Well, last episode, speaking ofpiss, we talked about a city
ordinance that was aggravated,but we didn't really discuss it
because we talked about thegravedigger who threw the baby's
casket.
Oh yeah, I know, the baby wentflying Everyone's like it's
Superman.
So a Colorado city this is thesame Colorado that in Denver has

(40:15):
the robot dog.
So that state has fallen apart.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
That's a lot over there.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
A Colorado city plans to seize residents' cats and
dogs in a bid to lower thenumber of animals.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Allowed in a private household.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
No way Seizing.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yes, and the number of animals is four.
Okay, but when you actuallythink about, like I got one dog
right.
Next thing, you know, I got twodogs.
Oh, we adopted a lizard, youknow.
And the next thing there's acat in the house.
Yeah, yeah, it's not up to thecity, for I don't what, do you
think?
I'm just a little bit likeoverreach.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
What are you going to do?
You gonna do with my?

Speaker 1 (41:03):
you're gonna kill my fucking dog like they killed
that squirrel in new york, likepita did when they stole a
chihuahua off someone's porchand then they killed them
themselves.
Oh no, it's the town of northglen.
It's 40 minutes away fromdenver.
Residents are not going to beallowed to have more than four
cats, four dogs or a combinationof the two.
Totally no more than four.
Two dogs and two cats is notthat much.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
No, that's not crazy at all, especially in the middle
of the country and Colorado.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
There's a lot of space.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
It's a lot of space.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah, yeah, that's crazy and then also, what if
your dog has a little baby?
And then all of a sudden you'vegot to be like I'm going to
take care of that baby.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Yeah you've get a litter and they're like bang
bang bang, bang, bang, bang bang.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
They just shoot the litter.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Well, now it sounds like it's a combination of dogs
and cats, so lizards and thingslike that, birds, would they
count?

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Okay, I don't.
They seem to be focusing ondogs and cats, which are like
the domesticated animals thatyou would think wouldn't be a
problem.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah, but you know people, they don't actually
domesticate their animals a lotof the time, so there's
sometimes maybe.
Well then, deal with thatperson.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yes, Don't make a blanket law.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Yeah, no, totally.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
They say the restriction was introduced by
concerned residents.
The most annoying residents.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Oh my God, People that make the noise complaints
constantly Exactly the mostannoying residents People that
make the noise complaintsconstantly.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Exactly, they were like we need, so they complained
about excessive noise and wastecaused by a high number of pets
in some neighborhoods.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Oh my God.
And then they're walking theirdogs and they're like, oh, can't
they just pick up their ownstuff?
And it like bothers them forthe entire day.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Well, it is annoying when people don't pick up their
dog, of course.
It's rude Of course, of courseit's rude.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Of course, of course.
But if they have one or five,they're not picking up any of
them, exactly right.
So they say any residents whocurrently own more pets than
allowed can apply for apreviously owned pet exception.
This is before the ordinancecomes into effect.
If the application is filledout before that date, north Glen

(42:57):
citizens will be allowed tokeep their existing pets.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Ah, they're grand doggied in, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
Oh my God, Just let them keep their pets.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
We can't let these HOAs win no.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
So I've had these dogs for the last 12 years and
now I have to apply to keep mydogs.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
What a pain in the ass.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
That's annoying as hell to keep my dogs.
What a pain in the ass.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
That's annoying as hell.
So if the locals don't disclosethe information, then the law
enforcement will take action,which includes quote a potential
court order requiring petremoval.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
You are housing kitties under your floorboard,
correct?
Oh my God, don't do that.
Oh no, no, oh my God, Don't dothat.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Oh no, You're like no .

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Oh God.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
We never should have named our cat Anne Frank.
Yeah, this is what the citysaid.
They said our goal is to workwith residents to ensure
compliance through education andoutreach before any enforcement
action is taken.
I hate this.
Yeah, it's awful and I justhate it on principle.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
It's the actual town.
It's not an HOA.
It's like the town is acting asthe HOA.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
It is ridiculous.
I don't like it.
Does anyone like this?
It's OK, bud Pod at gmailcom.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Yeah, stick up for this.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
I mean, of course, if there's a hoarder house and all
the cats are dying andsuffering.
Yes, take care of it yeah.
Address the issue, but I justcan't imagine this is the
biggest problem facing thepeople of North Glen.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, we're in a recession To the point where
there needs to be like somethingmade into law, to go into
effect about this, because it'smost likely, like every
neighborhood you know usuallyhas that one crazy old lady or
old man that just has entirelytoo many animals that you can
tell they're not really takingcare of them, but they're
friends, they look after eachother, but then, yeah, they're

(44:46):
all over the place.
They're maddy, there are poopseverywhere.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
That's the circle of life, because when that person
dies from the same thing thatGene Hackman's wife died from,
then those animals eat it, yeah,and then they get euthanized
and they all die.
Oh well, so that's going tohappen.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
That is going to happen.
That's probably the reason.
That's probably like the onemain house of concern.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Exactly, and I wouldn't be surprised if they
didn't fit into the look ofNorth Glen.
Colorado Residents were prettyupset, mm Colorado Residents
were pretty upset.
One person says I guess NorthGlen is slowly progressing into
becoming Russia.
Oh my God, yeah, since soonwe'll only be able to have a

(45:31):
certain number of pets, justlike Mother Russia, yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
Four animals.
What is this?
North Korea.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
One person says what's next?
You can only have one TV andone car in one household.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Oh yes, conserve that energy.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
First they came for the cats I said nothing.
Then they came for the dogs,and I said nothing.
Then they came for my Mazda andI said nothing, because I
wanted a new car anyway.
Another person said no way, noway, nothing, because I wanted a
new car anyway.
Another person said no way, noway, no way.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
So a lot of people are upset.
No way, Jose.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
And if I'm local there the local every pothole I
would go and I would be like youdidn't fix that pothole.
Why is that stop sign broken?
Do the things that you'resupposed to do.
City council.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, seriously.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Leave our fucking animals alone.
Yeah, anyway, that is a lawtaking effect any day now in
North Glen Colorado, so if youlive there, it's actually going
to take effect?
Yeah, they passed it.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
You got to hide your fucking dogs and you better make
sure you don't have chihuahuas,because they don't stay quiet.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Yeah, you're not going to give it a hide.
Take your quietest animals andhide them.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
You Take your quietest animals and hide them.
You have to.
Yeah, which is probably alsothe best cuddle animals.
Yeah, definitely.
All right, poor guys.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
It is sad.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Well, speaking of things that are interesting, in
Arizona Prisoner, this guy isserving 16 life sentences.
Oh, wow, yeah, that's a lotright.
And he's serving all these lifesentences because he had this
massive.
He had a massive role in aprison mutiny in 2004.
He had a prison standoff andthen he had a whole complicated

(47:09):
history of violence before that.
Wow, it's crazy, because hekilled three people in prison
you know, oh, wow, yeah, so hejust killed three people, so his
name is Gang affiliated stuff.
Yes, I don't know.
I think it's because they mayhave been what they call Chomos
child monsters.
Oh my God, His name is RickyWassenaar.

(47:30):
I've never heard that before.
A Chomo.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
Yeah, that's what they say on all the shows.
I'm just trying to regurgitatewhat cool prison slang is
because I don't want to know inreal life.
I hear you Me too.
Ricky Wassenaar, who soundslike a race car driver that only
drives all wrong.
He is accused of killing SaulAlvarez, thorne Harnage and
Donald Lashley.
Wassenaener is the only suspectin the incident and they say he

(47:57):
acted with the intent to harm.
But why?
Elvarez was behind bars inMaricopa County for murder,
hanich was a convicted sexoffender of a minor and Lashley
was serving a sentence for childmolestation.
Well, there you go.
So we don't give butt of theweek out to killers.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
No, no, no exceptions .

Speaker 1 (48:22):
But he did kill all three of these guys.
I guess, if you're serving a16-term life sentence, what's
the difference?

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Yeah, you're going to start doing some good in the
world.
You're not even allowed to diefree.
No, not at.
Yeah, you're going to startdoing some good in the world.
You're not even allowed to diefree.
No, not at all, you're going tostart on your next sentence.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
I do wonder.
It's like is that possible?
I don't think the post-lifecares about the US legal system.
I don't think so.
If you go up and then whateverGod you have, they're just like
sorry.
Judge Strickland said you got15 more life sentences.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Sorry, it's the state of Georgia, not me.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Yeah, the state of Georgia versus heaven.
They win.
They have precedent.
I don't know I'm gone, butthat's a judge.
So Wassiner again.
He's serving 16 life sentencesfor a role that he played in
this prison standoff.
He and another man wereconvicted of taking two guards
hostage for 15 days.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Wow, they kept him for 15 days.
Wow, they had their own room orsomething.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
They had a full two weeks and one day Wow.
That's longer than mostrelationships.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
So they were held hostage at the Lewis Prison
Complex in Buckeye, Arizona.
It was the longest prisonhostage situation in history.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Way to go Breaking records Crazy right.
That's very impressive.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Wassener allegedly used a kitchen guard's uniform
to trick another guard intoletting him into a prison
watchtower.
Wow, that's on the guard I meanit's a little Bugs Bunny
dressing in a dress and theneverybody's like I want to have
sex with him now.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Okay, he obtained a uniform by overpowering an
officer with a handmade weapon.
Then Wassernar was moved to aprison in Florence after
Friday's inmate's death.
So basically in 2004, he gotinto the uniform, took this
prison guard hostage for 15 daysand another dude, and then, 21

(50:27):
years later, he killed threehorrible people.
So I don't know, maybe itoffsets.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Hey, yeah, I don't know, maybe that cancels itself
out.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah, so what a life that's that dude's life, yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
He keeps it interesting.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Yeah, that's the whole story, Okay.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
It's the Grim Reaper for chomos.
I like it yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
I guess, so Chomos beware.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
I suppose.
So yeah, well, you know staysafe I don't know, I guess so.
And speaking of being careful,let's see.
Do we want to do a story abouta roof collapse, or do we want
to talk about, let's see, thisguy.
He lit a hotel on fire while hewas trying to make drugs.
That's not very fun.

(51:08):
I mean Not very fun at all.
You know, a store plunge Twoboys, 14 and 16.
This is an interesting story.
So there was two boys.
Did you guys see this?
It went viral.
They took these big ass couchesthey're on the third floor of
the Westfield Shopping Center.
They took these big ass chairsand they threw them off.

(51:28):
Well Right, but they didn't hitanyone.
But they are teenagers, soreckless they cannot be named
for legal reasons.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Right.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
They've been charged with criminal damage with the
intent to endanger life.
This is the video of him doingit.
This is a picture of the videoof him doing it, as you can see,
wait is that inflatable?
No, it's like one of those likeoh my God, my wife's still
shopping.
I've got to sit down and relaxtype chairs right.
And they show the footage ofthem launching this chair, and

(52:00):
it damn near hits two people.
The boys are aged 14 and 16.
They were recently arrested andnow it looks like they're
facing some very serious charges.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Why All they were up to was some criminal mischief.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Oh, he just missed people.
He.
Just that's the thing.
These kids are actually very,very lucky that he did not kill
anyone.
Yeah, it reminds me of thatmovie Sleepers, where the
children accidentally threw Ibelieve it was a popcorn machine
down a flight of stairs and itkilled a woman.
And then they had to go to ajail and in the jail there was a
priest and he molested all ofthem.
Yeah, and kevin bacon too shityeah, and then at the very end

(52:37):
they killed the priest and mybrothers brought, brought me to
that to see that movie in themovie theater and, and it was so
traumatic, yeah, they throw it.
It's super heavy yeah, thatlooked heavy it was such a
traumatic experience for me.
And then I went home and Istarted crying and my parents
said why are you crying?
I said I watched this moviesleepers.
And then they got mad at mebecause it was r-rated and I
didn't bring myself.

(52:57):
No, wow.
And I went to catholic school,so I was just waiting to get
molested, but it never happened.
Oh, me too.
So they will appear in courtvery soon.
It'll be youth court.
It comes after the horrifyingfootage.
So it's the moment a recklessyouth hurls a large seat from
the third floor, nearly killingtwo unaware shoppers below.

(53:19):
That's insane.
Wow, I don't want to die thatway.
That's a dumb way to fuckingdie.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
That would be so embarrassing Get hit with a mall
.
Ottoman.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Yeah, it's also like what are the odds of you?
It's like when you see thoseshark attacks across America and
there's that one red dot in themiddle of the ocean yeah, like
shark attacks across America andthere's that one red dot in the
middle of the ocean and you'relike you know what I'm saying,
or like whatever.
In that case it would be onland like shark attacks across
the world.
And then one is like in themiddle, Idaho.
You're like where the fuck isthat?
In this case, no one goes tomalls anymore.

(53:45):
Right, Like no one's at malls.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Yeah, back in the 90s someone like 10 people would
have got killed.
Oh, in the 80s this would havetaken out 50 people.
That would be a mass incident.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
It may have actually just sort of crowd surfed on
everyone's puffy hair Facts.
So the young man he was wearinga gray jumper and a black
tracksuit bottom he struggles topick up a heavy blue
four-seater and finally launchedit over the glass barrier.
As he picks it up, the boyrecording says there's no way

(54:15):
this guy's gonna do it.
And then he did it.
And then the boy's like, oh mygod.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
It was a dare.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Was it a dare?
Or was that kid actually likeno way, you're gonna do that and
risk my entire life?
I guess he did so.
14 and 16 Dangerous ages.
I'm scared of them.
Criminal mischief.
Criminal mischief Not involvingpiss yeah, so the seat lands
just inches from one shopper.
What a fucking nightmare.

(54:42):
Yeah, the culprits then turnaround and they sprint and
they're laughing.
They were laughing.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Yeah, well, it's because they saw no one get hurt
.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
Oh, do you think they even saw the final splashdown?
Even saw the final splashdown?
That's true?
I don't know.
And then one video was sharedon Snapchat and it's written no
way, bro, almost killed someone,nah, so they had a little fun
with it.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Geez, oh, that's nice , isn't that nice?
Oh, that's very nice.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
All right.
Well, speaking of nice, anotherfantastic episode.
Yes, let's get to some comments.
Do we have any comments fromour wonderful chat?

Speaker 3 (55:18):
Lori's saying when she was a kid, someone threw a
rock off the highway and someonedied.
Every class in town gotlectured.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Yes, there was another scandal about that.
What did they throw, I forget.
I want to say it was like acinder block or something Killed
a bunch of people.
Wow, yeah, you got gotta bevery careful.
Yeah, don't do it.
Just it's that.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
That's not even about being careful, yeah that's
about just like don't go out ofyour way.
Yeah, that was a guy.
He was driving with his family,his wife was on the side and
his uh baby was in the seat inthe back, and a cinder block
came through, crushed his chestand he died in front of his
family.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Oh my god holy shit, I don't want him down that way.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Yeah, that's bad uh people are not digging the uh
pets being able to be taken awayno, it's ridiculous, yeah, um
and so that's the only thing.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Also, if you have more than four pets, that's like
your life, yeah yeah, your kidsare gone.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Those that's your, those are your kids you know
your husband's dead.

Speaker 3 (56:13):
You're a widow?
Yeah, everyone's saying theywould buy.
Ok, bud and Die merch.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Great, let's go yes.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
I love it.
We'll have to get hooked upwith a great merch company.
Yes A lot of fun thingshappening.
Also, we're getting close tosettling on a theatrical space.
We want to start doing amonthly show where we'll just
recap the craziest stories ofthe week or of the month, rather
, and just have fun with eachother.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Just have fun with each other.
Just have fun with it.
Play with yourselves, oh hey.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
That'll get you in trouble.
What are you talking about?
I'm just trying to jerk off thesnake.
I nicknamed my dick Snake, allright, that would be my nickname
.
I nickname my dicks Nick, hey,all right, that would be my
nickname.
I got to stop talking, okay,everyone, thank you so much for
listening.
Hail yourself.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
We'll talk to you soon, bye, bye.