April 17, 2025 • 47 mins
The bizarre and unexpected collide in this hilarious exploration of news that makes you question reality. We dive into the latest scam from Billy McFarland, who has "postponed" (not canceled) Fyre Festival 2 without offering refunds to the hopeful few who purchased tickets. The man who brought you cheese sandwiches in FEMA tents has struck again, this time without even providing the tents.
The absurdity continues as we dissect Katy Perry and Gayle King's controversial "space mission" aboard Blue Origin's spacecraft. What was meant to be a historic moment for women in space quickly became social media fodder when footage revealed suspicious details, including a premature door opening and celebrities who spent their precious two minutes in space filming themselves instead of looking out the window. With Jeff Bezos orchestrating the whole affair and more celebrities lining up for future flights, we examine the growing phenomenon of space tourism for the ultra-wealthy.
From the celestial to the terrestrial, we explore two shocking crime stories involving bodily functions and animal cruelty. An OnlyFans model faces felony charges for spraying urine on grocery store merchandise, while Hawaiian teenagers who stole and killed a beloved pet pig for a hunting contest learn that not all pigs are created equal in the eyes of the law. We wrap things up with Taco Bell's unexpected entry into the chicken nugget market, featuring jalapeño buttermilk-marinated, tortilla-crusted nuggets that might just change your fast food allegiances. Join us for this wild ride through the strangest corners of current events where we promise that everything's going to be OK, Bud.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You All right, let's rock and roll.
Hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's going to be
(00:22):
OK Bud.
I'm Ben Kissel at Ben KisselOne, Joined by Jerry Aquino.
Hello At Miss underscore, Jerry, and that's J-E-R-I-I.
Oh my God, I almost didn'tspell it Two, i's Two.
I's.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I-I Captain.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
A bit of a pirate.
Okay, speaking of pirates, kylePlouffe is with us at Kyle
Plouffe.
Thank you all so much forjoining on the Patreon.
Patreoncom slash diebud.
If you just want to give us alittle bit of cash, then you can
join the show, live and commentand be a part of the program.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
(00:57):
Send us pictures of your cats,your dogs, I was going to say
your children, but that soundscreepy.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, no need.
Or send us stories that youfind to be interesting and we'll
read some on the show and somemore recipes.
Yes, oh, recipes.
Yes, what recipe did we get?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I don't think we got recipes, but I wanted some.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You want more recipes , but we haven't gotten any.
Well, I got some good cookierecipes, oh that's right.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
We got a bunch of cookie recipes.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
People knew.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Add the cornstarch.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Add the cornstarch.
Use a solid, good Irish butter.
Make sure that shit is roomtemperature.
Soften that bitch.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Of course the Irish butter.
You gotta sit on it before youserve it.
That's what makes it Irish.
Oh my god, a lot of people havebeen cooking with semen, oh wow
.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Who?
Who has been cooking with semen?
That's your Instagram pal.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
There's a lot of people cooking with semen.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What is your algorithm?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I don't know.
First, of all semen and femaleyeast.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
That's absolutely disgusting, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I was watching one conversation where a woman says
she drinks her menstrual blood.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I hate that TMI, I hate that and I hate that.
And her own piss.
For what?
For what, I don't know?
So that she builds up animmunity to ammonia, like.
What the fuck does she plan ondoing with that?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's double filtered, oh my god, I don't know what
people do you?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
know I blame Dune for that.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Why.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because they sucked out water out of everything they
could fucking find, includingpee, and they had their special
desert suits.
They were like, yeah, we sweatand we pee, but then it just
goes into this filtration systemand then it goes back into this
water bottle and then we drinkit and then we're just
constantly circulating our ownfucking sweat.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Circulating indeed.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I hated it.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It's the circle I hated it.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
The circle of life.
My friend, I didn't like thatat all.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
But we do have a lot of pee stories today and a
poo-poo story as well.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Keeping it mature towards the end of the week?
Fine, but first let's get to acouple of updates.
We've been following the BillyMcFarland Fire.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Festival 2, and it does turn out it's been
postponed.
Postponed, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Not even canceled Postponed.
Mm-hmm Ticket holders who planto attend Billy McFarland's Fyre
Festival 2,.
They were sent an email andwere they given a refund?
No, the email says hold on,we'll let you know when the next
date is coming.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
So they didn't even get a refund.
Don't call us, we'll call you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
We'll call you.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Solid scam.
Solid scam.
This time he has put nothing onthe ground, no, nothing
whatsoever.
Which is better than flying abunch of folks out there, giving
them rotten peanut butter andjelly sandwiches and forcing
them to cry alone in their tents?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, instead, he's just going to rob them blind
online.
Isn't that what the internet'sfor?
It is totally what it's for.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I've been thinking about faking a cancer or
something, maybe faking a toeinfection.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I need 50K 50K for my new toenail no infection.
I need 50K.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
50K for my new toenail.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Oh no, Just tell people you want to get hair
implants.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Am I balding that bad ?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Just in some corners, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
That's why I have to get my hair cut, because it's at
the point now where it's longenough, where you can kind of
see it's thinning.
But if you go shorter it looksmore bushy and full.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It looks fuller.
Yes, bushy is a weird way todescribe it, but fuller is.
Yes, your head is not a tail,but okay, indeed, bushy head of
hair, my favorite kind ofhaircut.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
What do you want?
Give me the bushy, give me thefull bush.
Well, you want us to curl it.
Yes, curl it and thin it and,in my case, make it see-through,
because that's where my bushhair is.
Isn't that disgusting?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It really is.
Let's go back to the P.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Okay, so Fire Festival 2.
This was a statement that wason the official website, but now
it's been deleted.
So maybe he got all drunk andwas like it's canceled.
Then he got all sober and waslike no, it's not canceled, I
can do this.
So it says Fyre Festival 2 ispostponed and will be
rescheduled for a later date inthe future.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I'm surprised he didn't say in the past and then
just be like you missed it yeah,it was awesome yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Thanks so much, guys, for coming to Fyre Festival.
We had a great time.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So many people were there it would be just as
realistic as his marketing forthe first one.
It really would be.
So he says.
If you have purchased a ticketalready, you will receive an
email once the new date isconfirmed.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh my God, who was stupid enough to buy tickets for
Fyre Fest?
I want to know, Raise your handif you bought tickets.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I can see him.
I'm sure there's not many.
There can't be more than 100people who bought tickets for
this thing.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Is he related to Seth MacFarlane?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I don't know, he kind of looks like him, doesn't he?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
He looks like him and he has the same last name.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right.
Well, Seth, if you're relatedto this Billy guy, give him some
money so he stops doing this.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Seth is doing a great job spacing himself out of way
from his idiot cousin.
That's very true, and he's likeI don't know that guy.
I know we have the same lastname, but no relation.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Another update Interesting we talked about this
briefly on the last episodeKaty Perry and a series of other
gals, including Gayle King.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh my God, they went to space.
Yeah Right, what a fuckingfiasco.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And this entire thing .
If you're Rachel Ziegler,you're like I'm off the hook.
This makes everything I did forSnow White promotion fine.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
This could be the fire festival of space it is it
really?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
is what a troubled, troubled little artifact we've
created for ourselves in 2025.
It's historic now.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
It is in such a strange way.
A lot of conspiracy theoristsand this one I think they did go
, but I also think it doesn'tmatter.
Number one, but I have tobelieve that they actually went
to space, although there are alot of conspiracy theorists that
are making very valid points.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Some people are thinking that they didn't
actually go to space.
Well, their non-suit suits didthrow me off.
I'll say that.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Non-suit suits number one I think I would wear a
helmet.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, you know when was all of their headgear.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Evidently, when they last sent a cylinder similar to
what they were into space, itcame back and it was all fucked
up.
It was all like I was just inspace.
What they were into space.
It came back and it was allfucked up.
It was all like I was just inspace, right.
Had a bunch of space dust on it,yeah, and their little cylinder
came back and it was pristine,completely clean.
Also, there was a small issuewith the door, so as it landed,
(07:16):
there was this big thing aboutJeff Bezos has a special key.
Oh, that's literally.
It was like it's a special keyand it was a wrench right, right
, and they were like there's noway they can open the door.
But then the door opened andthey were just like in there and
then they had to shut the door.
And then Jeff Bezos made thiswhole performative movement
about how he's unlocking thedoor and then they all came out.
(07:36):
And then obviously we all know,katy Perry kissed the ground
and Gay like this is so huge forwomen.
I'm an astronaut now and that'snot no one of the people I
believe it was.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Katie perry said we put the ass in astronauts.
So really of course she did.
Oh my god a fucking.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
They forgot to trim the editing on the video.
Look at this.
Yes, the door opens and they'relike no, no, and they go back.
They slam it shut and he stillhas the wrench in his hand and
he still is the wrench in hishand.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
He also just ate shit right before that because he
fell, which is always fun towatch a billionaire fall.
Yeah, I don't think thebillionaire shouldn't exist, but
I do think we should constantlybe throwing tomatoes at them
yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
it's fun.
It's the least that they coulddo that's our.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We are plebs, we get to do that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So the door just opens on its own and everyone's
like no, no, no no, no, no no,no, jeff has the key to be able
to let them out, and also,there's all.
Why is he just let them out?
Why is he just standing there?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
He's like get your cameras rolling, Get it ready.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I hate that I would have so much anxiety in this
little space bubble.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Edit the first part out.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I would have just opened the door, pulled it open.
I door, pulled it open.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I think the most feminine thing about the entire
mission is that little thingthat they're in looks like a big
tit.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
It does look like a boobie.
Everywhere I go somethingreminds me of her that's from
Naked Gun.
What is that?
In space?
They look like a giant melons.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Get your melons.
Yeah, let's do it.
And then Gayle King was alsolike space, this isn't taking
away from Earth, it's a yes andsituation, or whatever she was
saying.
And then she was like jeffbezos wants to clean up the
earth by throwing all the space,by throwing all of our trash in
space.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Oh, you mean our trash celebrities, I guess so
that's what that's.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's exactly they almost did it that is exactly
what's going to be happening,because more celebrities are now
lining up to be sent to space.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's not fucking cool man.
Some people are working harddown here.
Mm-hmm, Get freakingbillionaires just sending
celebrities up into space forfucking.
For what?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
For photo ops.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So they can come back down and call themselves an
astronaut in the face of actual,actual, like NASA workers and
like space engineers that havebeen doing this their entire
lives.
I have no recognition about it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's so sad is we just had two astronauts stuck in
space for like nine months,yeah, and like nobody gave a
fuck.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, and they finally came back.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, and that was like a woman was up there, and
apparently there's been 102women in space since the 1960s,
so it seems like their entirepremise only works if you don't
believe that women have everjumped before Right or ever left
the ground.
Right but in reality, of course, women have been on the
forefront of space explorationfor a long time, and we applaud
them for it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay, thank you, kyle .
So because this was technicallya success in that they didn't
die, which man?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
if a a Titanic moment could have happened.
Oh my God, I mean yeah.
Why would they want to putthemselves at risk like this?
They went off into space inthis little tiny tit pod.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
They did go in the boob pod and did they Did they
put themselves at risk.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Did they put themselves at risk?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
They were up there for two minutes total when they
actually crusted.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
So then, what's this 11 minutes thing?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, it took about nine minutes to get up there.
Then they had two minutes inspace where they could float
around.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
They pulled it open.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
They pulled it open.
It looks like a prop.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That is so so dumb.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Stanley Kubrick is turning in his grave because,
finally, he's skinny enough todo that, because he's just bone.
And he's skinny enough to dothat because he's just bone and
he's like when I faked the moonlanding, I made that shit look
good.
Yeah, it looks horrible.
And there will be more peoplesent to space.
When I say people, I meancelebrities, because again, it's
millions and millions ofdollars.
(11:19):
So who's next?
Who is next?
Kim kardash?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Why.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
She has asked to be a part of the next Blue Origin
crew, along with Justin Bieber,oh my God, you know what the
Biebs.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
he's been through a lot.
Let's give him a little ride tospace.
That one I support.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I completely support that, yeah, and I hope that
Bieber does something that theydidn't do on this flight, which
is look out the fucking window.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, because that's the whole point.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
They film that video and they are like take up space.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
In space.
Just stop looking at the camera.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Not taking up space in space.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
It was awful, oh no.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
This is actually Leprechaun in space and Jason in
space.
It's actually better than thesefive chicks in space.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Which is very bizarre , because those movies were
technically horrible.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What about those clowns in space?
Are there clowns in space?
Remember that.
What's that movie?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
And that's being remade.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I love that freaking movie so much With.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Ryan Gosling.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, it's not.
Oh well, that's going to beawesome If I could die in cotton
candy.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I'd be so happy, Can anyone get me into this movie.
I want to be a killer clown inspace.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber and right now it's
also being speculated IvankaTrump.
Oh geez, oh my God, yes, so whoknows?
Paris Hilton has also said thatshe might want to go.
Leonardo DiCaprio he's like,I'll go.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I'll do it.
Of course, leonardo DiCapriowould go, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, I mean, you don't age how old is?
Space travel.
Well, don't you age faster inspace, though?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
So all those chicks are going to be like ack.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
He's going to be like ugh.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He's practically dead and you were 23, but by space
time you're like fucking 27.
Act, Get a full life cycle infront of me and good for him.
So what a hodgepodge ofdipshit-ery.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But would you go to space if you had the money for
it, if you were like-.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Not like that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And you're like oh yeah, this is a celebrity thing.
Jeff Bezos is taking all thesejoy rides for celebrities Going
up to space.
Get this fun photo op, makehistory.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't know.
It's like 11 minutes.
It's a lot of foreplay for verylittle orgasm.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It really, is it really?
Is A lot of buildup, a lot ofbuildup, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And then next thing, you know, the pants come down
and you're like 11 minutes.
I don't know about that.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I don't 11 minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I'm not sure about 11 minutes.
I felt like it was going to belike a whole show, right, and
now it's just all over my face.
So fast.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Were they allowed to bring their phones with them.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, I think they were filming.
I don't know where that cameracame from.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yeah, I don't either.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Why is it that Katy Perry was performing?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
for the camera the whole time instead of looking
out the goddamn window.
She's saying what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
No, no, this is so cringe.
This is the cringiest spacemission that has ever happened,
in all of ever.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Well, this might actually put the ass in
astronauts.
Rihanna also may want to go.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Now that would put the ass in astronauts.
Yes, Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
And then I would want a fullspace line of lingerie in her
Savage Fenty line.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Oh, that would be fun .
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I want a whole space, themed thing.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I don't think she would go along.
If this was fake, I don't thinkRihanna would play ball with it
.
I've seen her go off onproduction people.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Really yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And I think she would be like Jeff Bezos you're a
fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You're a fake, damn.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't think.
Yeah, you're right, Rihannawouldn't fake it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
She's a real one yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I believe, with her halftime show from the Super
Bowl a couple years back, shewas quite high up in the air.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Oh my God, it was amazing.
So she's not afraid of heights.
Yeah, she's not afraid ofheights.
I am so afraid of heights.
She went higher than they did,then she may have that.
It's fake, it's all fake.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They didn't really go and I don't know why they would
fake it.
Maybe it's just it's all aboutthe money, maybe it's about the
PR.
The saddest part is they reallythought this was going to get
like a global applause.
Why?
And I haven't seen someone or agroup of people demonized on
social media in a long time,quite like this.
And also and also, where you'rekind of like you know it's kind
(15:22):
of funny and they're fine bezosis trying to go after elon musk
.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
He's like I'm gonna be the space guy yeah, space guy
and he sees that people areshitting on elon because he's,
like you know, associated withtrump and all that.
So he's like rushing to get allthe women up in space, like
look, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, I'm one of the good ones.
Look what I did with my baldhead, my lex luther body yeah,
fucking, billionaires are justfucked I still have $500 billion
.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I'm not giving it to anybody.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're just, goddamn , fighting in space over each
other, trying to figure out whowants to be the space bully.
Meanwhile, all of us are downhere like help us, yeah, help us
.
Can I have dinner please?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Shut up.
I would love that.
Space fights sounds freakingawesome.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Hell yeah they need to just build their own space
fighting suits and then just goup there by themselves and
fucking do it, and just dowhatever and fuck each other.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, do whatever.
Build a billionaire spacefights.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Oh, you got space fucks, you got space fights.
That is something to watch.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Because zero gravity fighting might be kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It'd be hilarious.
Yeah, yeah, zero gravityfighting.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And then looking at the flash ding dong in space
would be kind of funny ohthey're pants off.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
No one is saying that they're fucking.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
No the fucking pants off.
What are they?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
in gray it's two shows they're in gray sweatpants
in space.
What the fuck?
Why are we looking at flaccidthings?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well, because A spacesuit that only goes to your
hips.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And your dick's just out.
It might be hard to get, is it?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
difficult to get hard in space, okay.
Zero gravity so it probablyjust boing, can you get an
erection in space?
Can you Google?
Speaker 3 (16:46):
that Of course you can.
You can't get an erection.
They're probably so much bigger.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I don't know.
You're not fighting against thegravity, it's just boing.
Oh, that's gravity that makesmy dick look small.
Yeah, that's what it is Gravitypulls it down.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Gravity pulls it down , making it nice and large
looking.
What is happening?
I think so Can you get anerection in space Space ball,
buzz Aldrin.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And there's limited official data from agencies like
NASA, but astronauts havereported the possibility of
erections in space.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Even with the effects of microgravity on blood flow.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, oh.
So they're saying in quarterchubs is what's happening?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
No, they're saying they've even described intense
erections in space, sometimesnicknamed space Viagra Space
Viagra.
Zero gravity is space Viagra,so it makes it huge bigger like
I said Wow, wow, kyle, have youbeen to space?
Hey, I've been to space lately.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
It's looking a little bigger.
Are you an astronaut?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, whatever, I hear that you're a space baby,
like that's going to be a slurin 25 years Right.
Yeah, whatever, rory, you werefucked, you were conceived in
space.
You space baby Fucking spacemutt Spaby.
I mean, I guess that would makeyou an alien.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh, it would.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
If you were born in space or conceived in space.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Conceived in space makes you a foreign thing, not
of this earth.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
There's an astronaut that said quote I had an
erection so intense it waspainful.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Oh my God.
But the problem is you can'treally splurge your goopy stuff
because it goes all over thething it gets stuck in the
instruments and there are allthese women around.
And they're like God damn it,stop coming astronaut.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Harold, you could do it in your pants.
You can keep the underwear onand just splooge inside.
That's your only option.
Also, how fast are you able tojerk it in space?
You're like stroke, stroke Wellthat might actually work.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I'm going to get the job done.
The name of this guy's book isRiding Rockets, by the way, so I
think the erection was painfulin a different way if he's
riding rockets.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Katy Perry is so mad that he already took that.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
He said he was so hard he could have drilled
through kryptonite.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
And an astronaut said that Wow, yep.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He put the nut in astronaut.
Good for him.
Either way, we'll see whatcelebrities go to space.
Did it happen?
Did it not happen?
I'm going to let the internetdecide.
It certainly was stupid.
That's one thing we can allagree on.
It seemed pretty silly, reallysilly, and we just have to stop
thinking that everything that acelebrity does, or they need to
stop thinking that everythingthey do matters, right?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Well, they need to stop thinking that just because,
like their fame and notoriety,for like the one art that they
do, doesn't make them likecapable and able to be able to
contribute in these other fields.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Of actual humaning Dude.
Yeah, you've been a musicianyour whole life.
Yeah, and she's a fine popsinger.
She's a great pop singer.
But she did study for all ofthis.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
No.
And again she continues to sayI've always loved the stars,
astronomy and astrology and it'svery offensive to anyone who's
actually smart.
For me I'm like no big shit,but for anyone smart they're
like you're a moron.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah, she's like did you guys know that we are all
just stardust?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
She keeps on saying that we're all just like so
insignificant when you get allthe way up there.
I think that she's trying tosay it's really cool.
Like it's really cool, we'restardust.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
She was trying to say that, like her, she like she
had some version of meeting hermortality.
Yeah, and she felt like theonly person that's ever done
that ever.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I would rather be gold dust and have to pretend to
have sex with Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Pro wrestling.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
What Wow Okay, segue.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
All right.
Well, let's move on.
Speaking of, did we talk aboutpiss?
Well, let's talk about that.
Oh, I wonder, if you poop morein space, does it shove it out?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Oh, my God, oh, does it come out just like
involuntarily.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Oh my God, One more space question you can't clench.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
You can't clench, it slides in.
It slides out.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Does space travel make you constipated?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
They're talking about the toilets here.
They're vacuumized toilets.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh so you have to suck it.
It's got to suck it out of yourass.
I asked her not kiss, so whyare you spending so much time in
the bathroom?
You don't want to know.
I'm getting my ass eaten my.
God sir, you're disgusting andwhen you get to earth you'll be
arrested.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
No, yeah, I'll deal with that.
That checks out.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yes, also, prison toilets really suck it out too,
oh boy, speaking of fecal matterand pee-pee, an OnlyFans model
was recently arrested.
Why was she arrested?
For spraying her urine on morethan $1,500 worth of merchandise
at a New Hampshire grocerystore.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Ew oh, come on Food.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's interesting.
So she is.
This is there's more storiesfor this woman.
She goes on pea sprees.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Pea sprees.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Pea sprees and people pay for this.
So in a series of criminalmischief complaints, kelly
Tedford she's 24, and apparentlythere's 1.4 million girls on
Instagram and the average age islike 22, but there's only like
10 million 22-year-olds, so likeone in 10.
Wow, so that's a lot, but goodfor them.
(22:14):
Investigators allege thatTedford she goes by the handle
Kinky Kelly- Kelly with an.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I wait.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Kinky Kelly.
Where's her sexy stud?
I don't know did you guys seethat's from.
That's from clerks too, wherethey bring in like a dude who
brings in a donkey to fuck orsomething, and then they think
that like he's, they think KinkyKelly is like the donkey that's
going to get fucked, and thenthe guy is like no, I'm Kinky
Kelly.
(22:43):
That's the sexy stud.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Anyway, lucky stud.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Kinky Kelly.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
So this is what she does in many ways.
The Bible, although you know,the Bible's probably like I'm
covered in everything else.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Blood and piss.
It's fine.
God made that urine.
She is charged with defecatingon the floor and placing the
waste in quote the toilet tank.
Oh, no which is known as a fratboy's upper decker.
Yes, so what?
She shits and pisses.
This is what she does.
(23:33):
She is now indicted and she'sbeen charged with a felony.
Yeah, now indicted and she'sbeen charged with a felony, and
it seems as if a lot of the foodat the co-op was forced to be
thrown away.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Putting the gross in grocery.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Wait, it was a co-op.
It was a co-op.
She was messing with thecommunists.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Indeed.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That's messed up.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Farm to toilet, farm to toilet, literally.
Bring it to my table please.
Yum, yum.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Some guys would pay more for that.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I mean hey, I mean she's clearly making a whole
living out of it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That might be one way I'll eat some fruit.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
She has done it.
She has been so supported aboutthis that she is going outside
into the public and gettingthese things done.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, that's very, very true, and that makes her an
exhibitionist, dare I say, evenmore so than the aforementioned
katie perry who wants thesepiss plums?
I'll take a piss plum can Iplay with extra piss?
Uh, these pickles are extra,extra pickled ah yeah, they're
piss pickles.
Yes, so it's only 15 bucks amonth for only fan page.
(24:34):
But now that's been gone.
They got it.
Got rid of it.
Kinky keller.
Kinky kelly describes her as asubmissive pixie.
Fetish slash kink friendlyextremes too, so there you go.
It appears as if it's beendeleted.
Tedford's Instagram pagedirects followers to an Amazon
wish list that is filled withsex toys and lingerie, and
(24:58):
Tedford's Instagram account alsosays quote get me something off
this list and get freespecialized content.
Spoil me to get spoiled baby.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Oh man, we need to take this lady off the streets.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I don't know, maybe she's onto something here.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Maybe she needs to buy everything she's going gonna
pee and poop on Like buy itfirst.
Take it home and then dowhatever you gotta do in your
weird little house.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
But that takes the danger out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
No, it does not.
It is disgusting what she isdoing.
It is dangerous health-wise.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Totally is still pretty risky.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I will say her mugshot does give her a little
bit more of your average look.
Yeah, when she's all dolled upas Kinky Kelly, yes, you got
something very erotic going onthere, but the mugshot does
reveal that it is indeed justmore of your everyday gal,
that's the New York Post story.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
That's the mugshot.
Yes, indeed I mean I don't know, I am at a loss for words,
mm-hmm, and I feel weird and Ikind of have to use the bathroom
.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You know what she peed on the most?
Ugh, you know what she did?
What Organic quinoa.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Why?
To see it expand, she pissed onthe.
Yeah, just she wanted to see itexpand with her pee.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah, the local store store.
They had to recall organicquinoa, cornmeal, polenta
cornmeal.
She also pissed on coconutshreds.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, that's not even cool, man.
Yeah, for what?
How is she getting into thesethings?
She's like, she's likeunpackaging, she's opening them
and then just like, and she'swearing like an open dress yeah
where she just like sits onthings and starts peeing on it.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, and then one dude is like ah, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
okay, uh, ma'am sits on things and starts peeing on
it.
Yeah, and then when dude islike ah, what are you doing?
Okay, ma'am, someone's peeingon aisle 11.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
On the coconut shreds .
Oh, I really needed those today.
Those aren't freeze driedanymore, they're freshly pissed
Because you know every day.
You want a little coconut shredSometimes.
And then she also pissed on allthe raw walnuts Raw walnuts.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Raw walnuts.
Wow, so no walnuts, no coconutshrimp today.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yep, and she's been doing this since 2021.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
And she's just now getting in trouble for it.
She's been so.
There really has been timeswhere it'd be like dude Kinky
Kelly's.
Here again she's pissing on theavocados.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
They see her car pull in, they're like, ah, fuck.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Fuck she's here.
You'll have to treat her forpissing on a juvenile if she
fucks with the baby carrots, thepolice said.
At this time it appears likelythat similar historic they say
historic incidents occurred inKeene and surrounding
communities, where Tedfordcontaminated items and or
surfaces with urine.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So this is one of those states where, if you
looked up how much porn or whatthey looked up most on porn,
that state was like piss, welook at piss.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Or maybe it's the groceries that they like to see,
and with these prices, who canblame her?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Right, like what is she?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I don't know, it's so weird because the indictment
here, who can blame her RightLike what is she?
What does that even mean?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
It's so weird because the indictment here it's the
state of New Hampshire againsther.
She's, you know, ruined theproperty of Monadnock Co-op,
lost in excess of $1,500, whenshe contaminated various store
and food items by spraying herurine on said items.
So she may have bottled it.
Did she bottle it or is shespraying it straight from the
source?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Oh my God, Well, that's not something I would
know.
I mean she has to be like full,like spread eagle, like lifting
one leg standing splits.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Like she's trying to get Chugly.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, going for a fire hydrant kind of a thing.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Well, I know a thing about female pee.
I know a thing about female pee.
It can go either way, wow.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Uh-huh, either way, like up or down or side to side.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Any direction you want.
It can helicopter around.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Oh my goodness, yes, I'd pay to see that.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Well, either way, people are all mad at her, so
we'll see.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I like her.
I like how her indictment looks, like a certificate it does, it
does.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
They commit the crime of criminal mischief.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
And this one down here.
It says this is a true bill.
This is a true bill.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yep Grand jury foreperson signed it themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
It's probably done for a bunch of people named Bill
yeah who like to watch and jerkoff to her activity.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
All right, let's move on from pee-pee to poo-poo.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Of course I knew you were going to say that.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
You're welcome Because you know what they say.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
What do they say?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Not every pee-pee time is a poo-poo time, but
every poo-poo time is a pee-peetime, I guess.
So that's what they say.
A school nutritionadministrator they have been
arrested.
Why?
Why?
Well, they went to get somebeer in a Pennsylvania
convenience store.
They were at an employee atRoyal Farms.
It's located in Hanover.
(29:46):
They called the police toreport an unknown woman had come
in the previous day.
She grabbed a beer, lifted upher skirt and then just took a
big dump right there in the beercave.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Whoa, what is happening?
Yes, I mean, was it like anemergency situation?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
This might also be for sexual purposes.
Oh God, the beer cave is awalk-in cooler open to the
public to select cooledbeverages.
All the doors in the beer caveare cooled areas and clear glass
providing visual of the insidefrom the common area of the
store.
A police review of the store,security footage showed the
(30:26):
suspect pushing a case ofalcoholic beverages back on the
shelf, pulling her pants downand then defecating on the
shelves on the shelf on theshelves.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
How'd she even fit in between the shelves?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
They're usually like metal racks, so it probably
split through and everything.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
God, what?
No, yeah, like the T-1000 goingthrough the cell wall, oh my
Lord.
So then she left.
So she took a big steamy andthen she left.
I will say it's nice that itwas cold in there, because it
would congeal the shit a littlefaster.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
It won't be so runny.
Yeah, I was also going to tryto find some common ground, like
if you ever are hot outside,then you go inside where's ac
and you get to take a littlenice little poop.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That sometimes feels nice it can, yeah, so the
cameras I have never taken noteof when I was really hot outside
and then I entered anair-conditioned room and was
like oh, I'm ready to finishshit now, Air-conditioned
bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Oh yeah, and you're like I'm going to throw down in
here.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Yeah, I'm saying, I've never thought that.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
That has never happened to me before.
You haven't lived, you're young.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Okay, Sure Okay.
Cameras recorded the womanarriving at Royal Farms in an
SUV.
The vehicle was registered to agal named Christy Goss and she
is 47 years old.
A driver's license photo ofGoss matched the subject
depicted in the surveillancefootage.
(31:50):
Goss was arrested on severalcrimes, including open lewdness,
criminal mischief anddisorderly conduct.
They also say she created quotehazardous and physical
offensive conditions.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yes, wow so there you go.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
She's not going to be allowed back in that beer
cooler anytime soon.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
She took a hot goss.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
She took a hot goss.
Well, I am a little enviousthough, because, as I mentioned,
she was a school nutritionadministrator.
She's flushed, she could justlet it go.
She's eating well.
Yeah, and for a 47-year-old,they say at that age you start
to get all bound up, wow.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I just feel like, I just think about how, like you
know those random times whereyou have to poop in not a toilet
, Like if you're camping orsomething.
Yeah, like if you're camping orsomething, and then you realize
that pooping is like so muchmore gross and smellier than you
even thought it was, becausethe water contains it a little
bit.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I went camping and they're like you can't shit in
the river.
And I was like why can't I shitin the river?
But they were all real seriousabout it.
So then I had to shit in thislike former ammo thing.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
It's like a military ammo thing that they put the
toilet seat on.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yeah, it's like a military ammo thing that they
put the toilet seat on, yeah,and then it just drops and then
it's just like there, it's justlooking at you and you're like,
oh God, how do you do thatperformance for sexual purposes
and not be throwing up theentire time?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Well, I don't know, We'll have to ask what was it?
De Niro or Pacino?
Somebody likes to.
I don't judge, I really don'tcare but someone likes to do the
shit on the glass table andthen watch the shit and stuff.
I mean I like buttholes but theyeah no.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
I don't.
I don't understand thatButtholes are cool, but
everything past it.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I'm not a fan of Buttholes are cool, but
everything past it, then againpeople probably judge me too,
you guys?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
are so weird, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
You know, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Like Zillow yes exactly.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Buttholes are like Zillow.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Right, right, yeah, interesting, how fun All right.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Well, let's move on from the fecal conversation,
please, scott, and let's discusspiggies.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Yay, I think.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
A Hawaiian teenager is facing up to 10 years in
prison.
We're going to discuss ifthat's really warranted or not.
Okay, he's facing up to 10years in prison after he and a
buddy stole a woman's pet pigand they did kill it.
Oh, the reason that they killedit was because they were trying
to get a $1,000 hunting contestprize and they cheated, right.
(34:20):
So the guy's name is Jadendenjernarski magana, and then this
guy, chris ryan.
They snatched quote eddie,that's the name of the pig which
checks out from a gale namedsarah hines in maui, and then
they filmed their dogs, and thisis bad.
They filmed their dogsviciously attacking the pig.
That's's messed up.
It is messed up.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Right, that sucks man .
Speaker 2 (34:43):
They proceeded to kill and gut Eddie and entered
him at the last minute to thelocal quote, biggest pig hunting
contest, Wow.
But the hunters there becamesuspicious after noting that the
pig had been neutered and wasmuch heavier than the typical
wild pigs.
Entered into the contest Gotcha.
(35:04):
So it was obviously adomesticated pig because they
cut its nuts off.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Who the hell brought this pig?
Who brought this indoor pig?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yes, that's my wife, whoa you ever hear the pig calls
?
Yeah, I love when they do thepig calls.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Those are two very different sounds.
I love when they do the pigcalls.
Those are two very differenttimes.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
I can do it, so they did end up walking away with a
$1,000 prize.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Wow, they did, they won.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yes, until there was a massive pig investigation.
Yeah, so pigs investigatingpigs, if you know what I mean.
That's a joke.
Thank you to the good policeofficers out there keeping us
safe.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Yes, yeah, yes yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, just leave me alone, because my car, my truck,
is currently not up to date.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh, you got to register that yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
I have to do another registration, even though I
bought the fucking thing.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
It doesn't matter.
So they changed their plea fromnot guilty to no contest.
They are scheduled to besentenced on felony counts of
first-degree animal cruelty andlivestock theft.
Each carry five years in prison.
So if they do run consecutively, then they're looking at 10
(36:12):
years each.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Mm-hmm, I mean this criminal, mischief shit, you
gotta cut it out.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You gotta cut it out, and I think it really is.
Obviously, we eat millions andmillions and millions of pigs
every year in this country, butthis pig was special because
they cut its nuts off, as I said.
Yeah, and this is what thefarmer says, or the woman that
owned the pig.
They say they organized a rallyoutside of the Wailuku
(36:42):
Courthouse to raise awarenessabout animal cruelty.
Haynes says Eddie was superfriendly.
Little kids could hug him, youknow.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
That was Eddie.
That's Eddie God damn it he'scute.
Yeah, that's cute.
It sucks, it's a cute pig.
It's a cute pig.
There's no denying that.
Yeah, eddie was super friendlyLittle kids could hug him.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
it sucks.
It's a cute pig.
It's a cute pig, there's nodenying that.
Yeah, and he was super friendly.
Little kids could hug him.
You know He'd sit, you couldget him to bark like a dog.
Aw, I mean, he was just themost adorable, sweet gentle soul
.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
He wasn't just a pig man, he was my friend, he was
her friend.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
She adopted the pig severalyears ago and brought her to
what she calls her kitty charmfarm, which is adorable, that's
adorable oh man, this is pissingme off.
And she says and you know, hislife started with cruelty and I
was determined to make that goaway for life and unfortunately
it ended the same way as itstarted.
(37:38):
That is so sad.
Yep, she says it ended the sameway as it started, you know,
with hunting dogs.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Oh my God, with hunting dogs.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
These dogs must be vicious, because my dog ain't
fucking with the pig.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Right, like what is like.
My dogs wouldn't do anything toa pig.
They were just like I don'tknow want to play catch with it.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Most American?
Well, obviously, hawaii isn'tAmerica, but most inland
American dogs.
I think they're losing to a pig.
Yeah for sure, for sure, rightI?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
mean, I would imagine they just want to play.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Also, isn't Hawaii like the birthplace of spam?
Possibly that's all pigshoulder.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I don't know, but I think that is part of Hawaii's
culture.
Is spam.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Hmm, it has a prominent place in Hawaiian
cuisine.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Spam musubi.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So maybe these kids, you know they're just getting
confused at not all pigs arefood, some pigs are friends.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Is that?
Is that spam?
Is that pig just wrapped up inlike a sushi thing?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah yeah, rice and spam, yeah it's spam wrapped in
seaweed with rice.
They're trying to advertise iton TV.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That's horrifying.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, spam is really trying right now.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Why Do we have like a surplus of pig shoulders or
something?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
It's because we're about it.
We might be already in therecession or it's coming, so
we're trying to get ready forlike poor food.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
And trying to make it like no, it's good, We've
always loved spam sushi.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Who needs tuna Right?
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
It's kind of like we're-.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Kind of brainwashed.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
We'll be eating like the little rascals fairly soon.
Yeah, it's canned beans.
What's better than that?
We love that.
So she says I don't want toruin anybody's life and I don't
think there's any possibility ofthem getting 10 years.
But what I would like to see?
I would like to see apunishment.
This wasn't an innocent mistake.
This wasn't confusion about thelaw.
(39:27):
This was a planned attack on mypets.
So to the credit of the piggyowner, who seems like this
adorable woman here, she says Idon't want them to do 10 years
in prison, but I just want somepunishment to happen to the kids
, because I don't think 10 yearsis a lot for like 10 years is
pretty aggressive.
Because you go to prison, thenyou're going to eat like
pepperoni every day and you'relike I'm eating what I, just
(39:47):
what I'm here for.
Yeah, yeah, but it was the factthat the human being had a
connection with said pig andthat's really the problem there.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Well, you know what I mean a lot of problems.
There was the cheating.
There was the kidnapping ofsomeone's pet Farm animal person
.
There was the criminal mischiefof making their dogs sticking
their dogs on this poor fuckingpig.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
That's the worst part .
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Enjoying that, recording it.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
That's very bizarre.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
And then entering it into a contest and being like,
yeah, we caught this wild pig insomeone's backyard.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Right, yeah, I mean I kind of blame the contest.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
It is a weird contest .
Speaker 1 (40:26):
What is up with that contest you know, bring me the
fattest pig.
And they were a bunch of dudesrunning around in fields being
like pig hunt.
Hey, you can't hunt here.
This is my hunting spot.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Right, I saw that pig and I guess the guys don't even
really hunt.
They use their dogs to hunt,which that ain't fair.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
That's not hunting.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
If you're going to hunt bow and arrow, that's
really badass and that's toughto do.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
It's tough to do.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
These AR-15s.
Whatever you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
No Ruins the meat.
What are you doing all that for?
Yeah, it's too easy.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
It's way too easy.
Anyway, positive story and thisis butt of the week oh, butt of
the week and the butt of theweek is chicken nuggets.
Okay, okay, taco bell.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
They debuted, debuted , they debuted they debuted,
they debuted they very demurelydebuted yes, our butt of the
week.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
So Taco Bell crispy chicken nuggets.
They first debuted in December,but it was just a limited time
offer.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I never tried them.
I never tried them.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I didn't hear about this.
That's why I'm so excited.
I didn't hear about this.
I know I have their emails.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
I'm subscribed.
Why haven't I heard of this?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I know, I know I'm very excited about this.
It was an instant hit, but theytook them off the menu.
They were like oh yeah, you alllike these.
Too bad, they're ours now.
And then they're all eating thechicken nuggets.
Yeah, I've been watching a lotof competitive eaters on YouTube
and, holy hell, it's getting mehungry.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
There's one guy named Eric the Viking or something,
and he eats so much food andhe's all skinny.
These guys, I don't get howthey're so skinny.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
They binge and purge.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
No.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
No, he says he digests it, it's metabolism
people.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Some people have fast metabolism and they work out a
bunch before and after and thenthey don't eat.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I don't think they eat a lot during the week.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I feel like they have to practice eating, though they
, I feel like they have topractice eating, though they do.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yeah, I watched it.
Joey Chestnut was talking aboutpractice eating.
He says he's an athlete and Iagree with him.
So the fast food chain theyunderstood the beloved offering
will return April 24th as thefirst step.
This is just the first step inmaking them a permanent menu
item by 2026.
Interesting.
(42:42):
So, this is going to be a bigdeal and, as you can see in the
picture here, these nuggies dolook good.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
They look very crispy but at the same time it's not a
Taco Bell-like known.
It's not an item that youexpect to see in Taco Bell.
Are they stealing fromMcDonald's?
Speaker 2 (43:01):
These have a different look than the
McDonald's sort of pink goonuggets.
Yeah, these look real.
They do look real.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Good breading on it.
Yeah, they look better breaded.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Some have deemed these Michelin Star worthy.
Oh, michelin Star, which, ofcourse, is Michelin Star worthy.
Yes, that's what the MichelinStar program is, is it?
Speaker 3 (43:23):
really, it started by the tire company.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
What, yeah, to get people driving?
Yeah, it's true, is it true?
Yeah, wow, yeah, the MichelinStar.
It's the Michelin tire companythat created it.
People in the chat have beensaying so they're made from all
white chicken meat, not todisparage the black chicken,
(43:45):
whoa, they are marinated in azesty jalapeno buttermilk and
breaded in a crunchy blend oftortilla chips and breadcrumbs.
Okay, so their tortilla chipreally brings that Taco Bell
flavor.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Isn't that fun.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I am intrigued, yes, I'm intrigued.
Isn't that fun.
I am intrigued, yes, I'mintrigued Customers.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
you can get a five-piece offering with dipping
sauce or a 10-piece offering,and then you get two dippers.
So if you get the 10, you gettwo dippies.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I love two dippers.
And you know what?
I'm not going to lie Even if Ihave the five-piece, I'm going
to pay extra for the seconddipper, always.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Always.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
You know the second one, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
the second one costs extra.
I want honey mustard, I wantsweet and sour sauce, I want
ranch.
That went a little bit less,though.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, a combo is also including fries with nacho
cheese sauce and also a largedrink.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Oh, of course they're going to have things like nacho
cheese dippers, because they'refucking, they're Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
They're Taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Something's going to be a little on the mild side of
things.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
What kind of sauces can you get?
You can get a Hidden ValleyFire Ranch.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
And that's Taco Bell's first ever ranch
partnership.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Wow yeah, so Taco Bell and ranch, I wasn't far off
.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, they're finally kissing each other.
You can also get a thing calledBell Sauce.
What is that you say?
What's bell sauce?
That's a creamy tangy andtomato forward type sauce Tomato
forward.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Tomato forward.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
I like when my tomatoes are forwards and not
backwards.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Yeah, I like them covered in piss Progressive.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Don't do that I want.
And then there's what thisjalapeno honey mustard.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Then there's jalapeno honey mustard.
That looks pretty fire.
Yep, so this is a huge deal.
Taco bell chief marketingofficer, taylor montgomery yeah,
he said in a statement, thedemand for our nuggets was off
the charts.
Off the charts, which is whywe're looking at making crispy
chicken permanent to give ourfans what they're telling us
(45:39):
they want.
We know we're not usually inthe crispy chicken game, but our
nuggets speak for themselves.
They're bold, different andunmistakably Taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Oh my God, I'm sold.
Listen, arriving at this story,I was a little bit hesitant.
I wasn't sure what to make ofit.
Because I love my McDonald'snuggies Sure, yeah, they've
really put their own spin of it.
Because I love my McDonald'sNuggies Sure, they've really put
their own spin on it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
And I want to try them Unmistakably, taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Unmistakably.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Taco Bell.
Alright, everyone.
Do we have any comments?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Everyone's talking about Nuggies with dippies and
the nacho fries.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Oh my god, get on with it.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
The nacho fries are pretty solid too.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Jeff is asking if the parent company also owns Arby's
.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Well, they're all together now.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
So it's possible.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
It's Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
The Taco Huts yeah, they haveall the same.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, there's a lot of combo stores out there now,
yeah, a lot of people Well alsoPizza Hut and Taco Bell joined
forces in Union Square in NewYork.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
They did they did yes , yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
So maybe that's part of the tomato forward with a
little bit more of that kind oftomato-y sauce.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
I do love tomatoes.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
People wondering why this OnlyFans lady didn't just
create like a fake store andpretend she was in public and
pissed all over the stuff thatshe already bought.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
She definitely could do that.
There'd be plenty of thingsavailable for that here in LA
for her.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Vanessa's agreeing with Jerry saying if she's got a
finger down there she can fullforce pee in different
directions.
Oh great.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
If she has a finger down there.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Well, yeah, you can move it around the logistics.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Again, I think you can also just like doggy fire
hydrant Also.
You know, when girls likereally like, when they really
like push out the pee and itcomes out like a fire hose.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Yeah right and they say that oh that was all squirt.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah Well, I'm a fire crotch, baby, no I just really
had to go and I'm in a rush so Iwant all of it out.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
I want it all out now .
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yes, Vanessa's just saying 2025 is drunk.
Yes, indeed.
All right, everyone.
Thank you for listening.
We will be back tomorrow.
Hail yourself.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye, bye, bye.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You All right, let's rock and roll.
Hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's going to be
(00:22):
OK Bud.
I'm Ben Kissel at Ben KisselOne, Joined by Jerry Aquino.
Hello At Miss underscore, Jerry, and that's J-E-R-I-I.
Oh my God, I almost didn'tspell it Two, i's Two.
I's.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I-I Captain.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
A bit of a pirate.
Okay, speaking of pirates, kylePlouffe is with us at Kyle
Plouffe.
Thank you all so much forjoining on the Patreon.
Patreoncom slash diebud.
If you just want to give us alittle bit of cash, then you can
join the show, live and commentand be a part of the program.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
(00:57):
Send us pictures of your cats,your dogs, I was going to say
your children, but that soundscreepy.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, no need.
Or send us stories that youfind to be interesting and we'll
read some on the show and somemore recipes.
Yes, oh, recipes.
Yes, what recipe did we get?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I don't think we got recipes, but I wanted some.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You want more recipes , but we haven't gotten any.
Well, I got some good cookierecipes, oh that's right.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
We got a bunch of cookie recipes.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
People knew.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Add the cornstarch.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Add the cornstarch.
Use a solid, good Irish butter.
Make sure that shit is roomtemperature.
Soften that bitch.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Of course the Irish butter.
You gotta sit on it before youserve it.
That's what makes it Irish.
Oh my god, a lot of people havebeen cooking with semen, oh wow
.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Who?
Who has been cooking with semen?
That's your Instagram pal.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
There's a lot of people cooking with semen.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What is your algorithm?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I don't know.
First, of all semen and femaleyeast.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
That's absolutely disgusting, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I was watching one conversation where a woman says
she drinks her menstrual blood.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I hate that TMI, I hate that and I hate that.
And her own piss.
For what?
For what, I don't know?
So that she builds up animmunity to ammonia, like.
What the fuck does she plan ondoing with that?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's double filtered, oh my god, I don't know what
people do you?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
know I blame Dune for that.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Why.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because they sucked out water out of everything they
could fucking find, includingpee, and they had their special
desert suits.
They were like, yeah, we sweatand we pee, but then it just
goes into this filtration systemand then it goes back into this
water bottle and then we drinkit and then we're just
constantly circulating our ownfucking sweat.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Circulating indeed.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I hated it.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It's the circle I hated it.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
The circle of life.
My friend, I didn't like thatat all.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
But we do have a lot of pee stories today and a
poo-poo story as well.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Keeping it mature towards the end of the week?
Fine, but first let's get to acouple of updates.
We've been following the BillyMcFarland Fire.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Festival 2, and it does turn out it's been
postponed.
Postponed, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Not even canceled Postponed.
Mm-hmm Ticket holders who planto attend Billy McFarland's Fyre
Festival 2,.
They were sent an email andwere they given a refund?
No, the email says hold on,we'll let you know when the next
date is coming.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
So they didn't even get a refund.
Don't call us, we'll call you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
We'll call you.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Solid scam.
Solid scam.
This time he has put nothing onthe ground, no, nothing
whatsoever.
Which is better than flying abunch of folks out there, giving
them rotten peanut butter andjelly sandwiches and forcing
them to cry alone in their tents?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, instead, he's just going to rob them blind
online.
Isn't that what the internet'sfor?
It is totally what it's for.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I've been thinking about faking a cancer or
something, maybe faking a toeinfection.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I need 50K 50K for my new toenail no infection.
I need 50K.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
50K for my new toenail.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Oh no, Just tell people you want to get hair
implants.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Am I balding that bad ?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Just in some corners, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
That's why I have to get my hair cut, because it's at
the point now where it's longenough, where you can kind of
see it's thinning.
But if you go shorter it looksmore bushy and full.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It looks fuller.
Yes, bushy is a weird way todescribe it, but fuller is.
Yes, your head is not a tail,but okay, indeed, bushy head of
hair, my favorite kind ofhaircut.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
What do you want?
Give me the bushy, give me thefull bush.
Well, you want us to curl it.
Yes, curl it and thin it and,in my case, make it see-through,
because that's where my bushhair is.
Isn't that disgusting?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It really is.
Let's go back to the P.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Okay, so Fire Festival 2.
This was a statement that wason the official website, but now
it's been deleted.
So maybe he got all drunk andwas like it's canceled.
Then he got all sober and waslike no, it's not canceled, I
can do this.
So it says Fyre Festival 2 ispostponed and will be
rescheduled for a later date inthe future.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I'm surprised he didn't say in the past and then
just be like you missed it yeah,it was awesome yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Thanks so much, guys, for coming to Fyre Festival.
We had a great time.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So many people were there it would be just as
realistic as his marketing forthe first one.
It really would be.
So he says.
If you have purchased a ticketalready, you will receive an
email once the new date isconfirmed.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh my God, who was stupid enough to buy tickets for
Fyre Fest?
I want to know, Raise your handif you bought tickets.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I can see him.
I'm sure there's not many.
There can't be more than 100people who bought tickets for
this thing.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Is he related to Seth MacFarlane?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I don't know, he kind of looks like him, doesn't he?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
He looks like him and he has the same last name.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right.
Well, Seth, if you're relatedto this Billy guy, give him some
money so he stops doing this.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Seth is doing a great job spacing himself out of way
from his idiot cousin.
That's very true, and he's likeI don't know that guy.
I know we have the same lastname, but no relation.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Another update Interesting we talked about this
briefly on the last episodeKaty Perry and a series of other
gals, including Gayle King.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh my God, they went to space.
Yeah Right, what a fuckingfiasco.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And this entire thing .
If you're Rachel Ziegler,you're like I'm off the hook.
This makes everything I did forSnow White promotion fine.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
This could be the fire festival of space it is it
really?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
is what a troubled, troubled little artifact we've
created for ourselves in 2025.
It's historic now.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
It is in such a strange way.
A lot of conspiracy theoristsand this one I think they did go
, but I also think it doesn'tmatter.
Number one, but I have tobelieve that they actually went
to space, although there are alot of conspiracy theorists that
are making very valid points.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Some people are thinking that they didn't
actually go to space.
Well, their non-suit suits didthrow me off.
I'll say that.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Non-suit suits number one I think I would wear a
helmet.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, you know when was all of their headgear.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Evidently, when they last sent a cylinder similar to
what they were into space, itcame back and it was all fucked
up.
It was all like I was just inspace.
What they were into space.
It came back and it was allfucked up.
It was all like I was just inspace, right.
Had a bunch of space dust on it,yeah, and their little cylinder
came back and it was pristine,completely clean.
Also, there was a small issuewith the door, so as it landed,
(07:16):
there was this big thing aboutJeff Bezos has a special key.
Oh, that's literally.
It was like it's a special keyand it was a wrench right, right
, and they were like there's noway they can open the door.
But then the door opened andthey were just like in there and
then they had to shut the door.
And then Jeff Bezos made thiswhole performative movement
about how he's unlocking thedoor and then they all came out.
(07:36):
And then obviously we all know,katy Perry kissed the ground
and Gay like this is so huge forwomen.
I'm an astronaut now and that'snot no one of the people I
believe it was.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Katie perry said we put the ass in astronauts.
So really of course she did.
Oh my god a fucking.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
They forgot to trim the editing on the video.
Look at this.
Yes, the door opens and they'relike no, no, and they go back.
They slam it shut and he stillhas the wrench in his hand and
he still is the wrench in hishand.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
He also just ate shit right before that because he
fell, which is always fun towatch a billionaire fall.
Yeah, I don't think thebillionaire shouldn't exist, but
I do think we should constantlybe throwing tomatoes at them
yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
it's fun.
It's the least that they coulddo that's our.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We are plebs, we get to do that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So the door just opens on its own and everyone's
like no, no, no no, no, no no,no, jeff has the key to be able
to let them out, and also,there's all.
Why is he just let them out?
Why is he just standing there?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
He's like get your cameras rolling, Get it ready.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I hate that I would have so much anxiety in this
little space bubble.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Edit the first part out.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I would have just opened the door, pulled it open.
I door, pulled it open.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I think the most feminine thing about the entire
mission is that little thingthat they're in looks like a big
tit.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
It does look like a boobie.
Everywhere I go somethingreminds me of her that's from
Naked Gun.
What is that?
In space?
They look like a giant melons.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Get your melons.
Yeah, let's do it.
And then Gayle King was alsolike space, this isn't taking
away from Earth, it's a yes andsituation, or whatever she was
saying.
And then she was like jeffbezos wants to clean up the
earth by throwing all the space,by throwing all of our trash in
space.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Oh, you mean our trash celebrities, I guess so
that's what that's.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's exactly they almost did it that is exactly
what's going to be happening,because more celebrities are now
lining up to be sent to space.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's not fucking cool man.
Some people are working harddown here.
Mm-hmm, Get freakingbillionaires just sending
celebrities up into space forfucking.
For what?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
For photo ops.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So they can come back down and call themselves an
astronaut in the face of actual,actual, like NASA workers and
like space engineers that havebeen doing this their entire
lives.
I have no recognition about it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's so sad is we just had two astronauts stuck in
space for like nine months,yeah, and like nobody gave a
fuck.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, and they finally came back.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, and that was like a woman was up there, and
apparently there's been 102women in space since the 1960s,
so it seems like their entirepremise only works if you don't
believe that women have everjumped before Right or ever left
the ground.
Right but in reality, of course, women have been on the
forefront of space explorationfor a long time, and we applaud
them for it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay, thank you, kyle .
So because this was technicallya success in that they didn't
die, which man?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
if a a Titanic moment could have happened.
Oh my God, I mean yeah.
Why would they want to putthemselves at risk like this?
They went off into space inthis little tiny tit pod.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
They did go in the boob pod and did they Did they
put themselves at risk.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Did they put themselves at risk?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
They were up there for two minutes total when they
actually crusted.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
So then, what's this 11 minutes thing?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, it took about nine minutes to get up there.
Then they had two minutes inspace where they could float
around.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
They pulled it open.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
They pulled it open.
It looks like a prop.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That is so so dumb.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Stanley Kubrick is turning in his grave because,
finally, he's skinny enough todo that, because he's just bone.
And he's skinny enough to dothat because he's just bone and
he's like when I faked the moonlanding, I made that shit look
good.
Yeah, it looks horrible.
And there will be more peoplesent to space.
When I say people, I meancelebrities, because again, it's
millions and millions ofdollars.
(11:19):
So who's next?
Who is next?
Kim kardash?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Why.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
She has asked to be a part of the next Blue Origin
crew, along with Justin Bieber,oh my God, you know what the
Biebs.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
he's been through a lot.
Let's give him a little ride tospace.
That one I support.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I completely support that, yeah, and I hope that
Bieber does something that theydidn't do on this flight, which
is look out the fucking window.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, because that's the whole point.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
They film that video and they are like take up space.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
In space.
Just stop looking at the camera.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Not taking up space in space.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
It was awful, oh no.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
This is actually Leprechaun in space and Jason in
space.
It's actually better than thesefive chicks in space.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Which is very bizarre , because those movies were
technically horrible.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What about those clowns in space?
Are there clowns in space?
Remember that.
What's that movie?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
And that's being remade.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I love that freaking movie so much With.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Ryan Gosling.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, it's not.
Oh well, that's going to beawesome If I could die in cotton
candy.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I'd be so happy, Can anyone get me into this movie.
I want to be a killer clown inspace.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber and right now it's
also being speculated IvankaTrump.
Oh geez, oh my God, yes, so whoknows?
Paris Hilton has also said thatshe might want to go.
Leonardo DiCaprio he's like,I'll go.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I'll do it.
Of course, leonardo DiCapriowould go, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, I mean, you don't age how old is?
Space travel.
Well, don't you age faster inspace, though?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
So all those chicks are going to be like ack.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
He's going to be like ugh.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He's practically dead and you were 23, but by space
time you're like fucking 27.
Act, Get a full life cycle infront of me and good for him.
So what a hodgepodge ofdipshit-ery.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But would you go to space if you had the money for
it, if you were like-.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Not like that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And you're like oh yeah, this is a celebrity thing.
Jeff Bezos is taking all thesejoy rides for celebrities Going
up to space.
Get this fun photo op, makehistory.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't know.
It's like 11 minutes.
It's a lot of foreplay for verylittle orgasm.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It really, is it really?
Is A lot of buildup, a lot ofbuildup, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And then next thing, you know, the pants come down
and you're like 11 minutes.
I don't know about that.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I don't 11 minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I'm not sure about 11 minutes.
I felt like it was going to belike a whole show, right, and
now it's just all over my face.
So fast.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Were they allowed to bring their phones with them.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, I think they were filming.
I don't know where that cameracame from.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yeah, I don't either.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Why is it that Katy Perry was performing?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
for the camera the whole time instead of looking
out the goddamn window.
She's saying what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
No, no, this is so cringe.
This is the cringiest spacemission that has ever happened,
in all of ever.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Well, this might actually put the ass in
astronauts.
Rihanna also may want to go.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Now that would put the ass in astronauts.
Yes, Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
And then I would want a fullspace line of lingerie in her
Savage Fenty line.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Oh, that would be fun .
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I want a whole space, themed thing.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I don't think she would go along.
If this was fake, I don't thinkRihanna would play ball with it
.
I've seen her go off onproduction people.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Really yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And I think she would be like Jeff Bezos you're a
fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You're a fake, damn.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't think.
Yeah, you're right, Rihannawouldn't fake it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
She's a real one yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I believe, with her halftime show from the Super
Bowl a couple years back, shewas quite high up in the air.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Oh my God, it was amazing.
So she's not afraid of heights.
Yeah, she's not afraid ofheights.
I am so afraid of heights.
She went higher than they did,then she may have that.
It's fake, it's all fake.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They didn't really go and I don't know why they would
fake it.
Maybe it's just it's all aboutthe money, maybe it's about the
PR.
The saddest part is they reallythought this was going to get
like a global applause.
Why?
And I haven't seen someone or agroup of people demonized on
social media in a long time,quite like this.
And also and also, where you'rekind of like you know it's kind
(15:22):
of funny and they're fine bezosis trying to go after elon musk
.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
He's like I'm gonna be the space guy yeah, space guy
and he sees that people areshitting on elon because he's,
like you know, associated withtrump and all that.
So he's like rushing to get allthe women up in space, like
look, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, I'm one of the good ones.
Look what I did with my baldhead, my lex luther body yeah,
fucking, billionaires are justfucked I still have $500 billion
.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I'm not giving it to anybody.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're just, goddamn , fighting in space over each
other, trying to figure out whowants to be the space bully.
Meanwhile, all of us are downhere like help us, yeah, help us
.
Can I have dinner please?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Shut up.
I would love that.
Space fights sounds freakingawesome.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Hell yeah they need to just build their own space
fighting suits and then just goup there by themselves and
fucking do it, and just dowhatever and fuck each other.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, do whatever.
Build a billionaire spacefights.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Oh, you got space fucks, you got space fights.
That is something to watch.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Because zero gravity fighting might be kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It'd be hilarious.
Yeah, yeah, zero gravityfighting.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And then looking at the flash ding dong in space
would be kind of funny ohthey're pants off.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
No one is saying that they're fucking.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
No the fucking pants off.
What are they?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
in gray it's two shows they're in gray sweatpants
in space.
What the fuck?
Why are we looking at flaccidthings?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well, because A spacesuit that only goes to your
hips.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And your dick's just out.
It might be hard to get, is it?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
difficult to get hard in space, okay.
Zero gravity so it probablyjust boing, can you get an
erection in space?
Can you Google?
Speaker 3 (16:46):
that Of course you can.
You can't get an erection.
They're probably so much bigger.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I don't know.
You're not fighting against thegravity, it's just boing.
Oh, that's gravity that makesmy dick look small.
Yeah, that's what it is Gravitypulls it down.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Gravity pulls it down , making it nice and large
looking.
What is happening?
I think so Can you get anerection in space Space ball,
buzz Aldrin.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And there's limited official data from agencies like
NASA, but astronauts havereported the possibility of
erections in space.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Even with the effects of microgravity on blood flow.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, oh.
So they're saying in quarterchubs is what's happening?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
No, they're saying they've even described intense
erections in space, sometimesnicknamed space Viagra Space
Viagra.
Zero gravity is space Viagra,so it makes it huge bigger like
I said Wow, wow, kyle, have youbeen to space?
Hey, I've been to space lately.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
It's looking a little bigger.
Are you an astronaut?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, whatever, I hear that you're a space baby,
like that's going to be a slurin 25 years Right.
Yeah, whatever, rory, you werefucked, you were conceived in
space.
You space baby Fucking spacemutt Spaby.
I mean, I guess that would makeyou an alien.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh, it would.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
If you were born in space or conceived in space.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Conceived in space makes you a foreign thing, not
of this earth.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
There's an astronaut that said quote I had an
erection so intense it waspainful.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Oh my God.
But the problem is you can'treally splurge your goopy stuff
because it goes all over thething it gets stuck in the
instruments and there are allthese women around.
And they're like God damn it,stop coming astronaut.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Harold, you could do it in your pants.
You can keep the underwear onand just splooge inside.
That's your only option.
Also, how fast are you able tojerk it in space?
You're like stroke, stroke Wellthat might actually work.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I'm going to get the job done.
The name of this guy's book isRiding Rockets, by the way, so I
think the erection was painfulin a different way if he's
riding rockets.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Katy Perry is so mad that he already took that.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
He said he was so hard he could have drilled
through kryptonite.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
And an astronaut said that Wow, yep.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He put the nut in astronaut.
Good for him.
Either way, we'll see whatcelebrities go to space.
Did it happen?
Did it not happen?
I'm going to let the internetdecide.
It certainly was stupid.
That's one thing we can allagree on.
It seemed pretty silly, reallysilly, and we just have to stop
thinking that everything that acelebrity does, or they need to
stop thinking that everythingthey do matters, right?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Well, they need to stop thinking that just because,
like their fame and notoriety,for like the one art that they
do, doesn't make them likecapable and able to be able to
contribute in these other fields.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Of actual humaning Dude.
Yeah, you've been a musicianyour whole life.
Yeah, and she's a fine popsinger.
She's a great pop singer.
But she did study for all ofthis.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
No.
And again she continues to sayI've always loved the stars,
astronomy and astrology and it'svery offensive to anyone who's
actually smart.
For me I'm like no big shit,but for anyone smart they're
like you're a moron.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah, she's like did you guys know that we are all
just stardust?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
She keeps on saying that we're all just like so
insignificant when you get allthe way up there.
I think that she's trying tosay it's really cool.
Like it's really cool, we'restardust.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
She was trying to say that, like her, she like she
had some version of meeting hermortality.
Yeah, and she felt like theonly person that's ever done
that ever.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I would rather be gold dust and have to pretend to
have sex with Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Pro wrestling.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
What Wow Okay, segue.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
All right.
Well, let's move on.
Speaking of, did we talk aboutpiss?
Well, let's talk about that.
Oh, I wonder, if you poop morein space, does it shove it out?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Oh, my God, oh, does it come out just like
involuntarily.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Oh my God, One more space question you can't clench.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
You can't clench, it slides in.
It slides out.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Does space travel make you constipated?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
They're talking about the toilets here.
They're vacuumized toilets.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh so you have to suck it.
It's got to suck it out of yourass.
I asked her not kiss, so whyare you spending so much time in
the bathroom?
You don't want to know.
I'm getting my ass eaten my.
God sir, you're disgusting andwhen you get to earth you'll be
arrested.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
No, yeah, I'll deal with that.
That checks out.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yes, also, prison toilets really suck it out too,
oh boy, speaking of fecal matterand pee-pee, an OnlyFans model
was recently arrested.
Why was she arrested?
For spraying her urine on morethan $1,500 worth of merchandise
at a New Hampshire grocerystore.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Ew oh, come on Food.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's interesting.
So she is.
This is there's more storiesfor this woman.
She goes on pea sprees.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Pea sprees.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Pea sprees and people pay for this.
So in a series of criminalmischief complaints, kelly
Tedford she's 24, and apparentlythere's 1.4 million girls on
Instagram and the average age islike 22, but there's only like
10 million 22-year-olds, so likeone in 10.
Wow, so that's a lot, but goodfor them.
(22:14):
Investigators allege thatTedford she goes by the handle
Kinky Kelly- Kelly with an.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I wait.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Kinky Kelly.
Where's her sexy stud?
I don't know did you guys seethat's from.
That's from clerks too, wherethey bring in like a dude who
brings in a donkey to fuck orsomething, and then they think
that like he's, they think KinkyKelly is like the donkey that's
going to get fucked, and thenthe guy is like no, I'm Kinky
Kelly.
(22:43):
That's the sexy stud.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Anyway, lucky stud.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Kinky Kelly.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
So this is what she does in many ways.
The Bible, although you know,the Bible's probably like I'm
covered in everything else.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Blood and piss.
It's fine.
God made that urine.
She is charged with defecatingon the floor and placing the
waste in quote the toilet tank.
Oh, no which is known as a fratboy's upper decker.
Yes, so what?
She shits and pisses.
This is what she does.
(23:33):
She is now indicted and she'sbeen charged with a felony.
Yeah, now indicted and she'sbeen charged with a felony, and
it seems as if a lot of the foodat the co-op was forced to be
thrown away.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Putting the gross in grocery.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Wait, it was a co-op.
It was a co-op.
She was messing with thecommunists.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Indeed.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That's messed up.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Farm to toilet, farm to toilet, literally.
Bring it to my table please.
Yum, yum.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Some guys would pay more for that.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I mean hey, I mean she's clearly making a whole
living out of it.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That might be one way I'll eat some fruit.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
She has done it.
She has been so supported aboutthis that she is going outside
into the public and gettingthese things done.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, that's very, very true, and that makes her an
exhibitionist, dare I say, evenmore so than the aforementioned
katie perry who wants thesepiss plums?
I'll take a piss plum can Iplay with extra piss?
Uh, these pickles are extra,extra pickled ah yeah, they're
piss pickles.
Yes, so it's only 15 bucks amonth for only fan page.
(24:34):
But now that's been gone.
They got it.
Got rid of it.
Kinky keller.
Kinky kelly describes her as asubmissive pixie.
Fetish slash kink friendlyextremes too, so there you go.
It appears as if it's beendeleted.
Tedford's Instagram pagedirects followers to an Amazon
wish list that is filled withsex toys and lingerie, and
(24:58):
Tedford's Instagram account alsosays quote get me something off
this list and get freespecialized content.
Spoil me to get spoiled baby.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Oh man, we need to take this lady off the streets.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I don't know, maybe she's onto something here.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Maybe she needs to buy everything she's going gonna
pee and poop on Like buy itfirst.
Take it home and then dowhatever you gotta do in your
weird little house.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
But that takes the danger out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
No, it does not.
It is disgusting what she isdoing.
It is dangerous health-wise.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Totally is still pretty risky.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I will say her mugshot does give her a little
bit more of your average look.
Yeah, when she's all dolled upas Kinky Kelly, yes, you got
something very erotic going onthere, but the mugshot does
reveal that it is indeed justmore of your everyday gal,
that's the New York Post story.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
That's the mugshot.
Yes, indeed I mean I don't know, I am at a loss for words,
mm-hmm, and I feel weird and Ikind of have to use the bathroom
.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You know what she peed on the most?
Ugh, you know what she did?
What Organic quinoa.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Why?
To see it expand, she pissed onthe.
Yeah, just she wanted to see itexpand with her pee.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah, the local store store.
They had to recall organicquinoa, cornmeal, polenta
cornmeal.
She also pissed on coconutshreds.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, that's not even cool, man.
Yeah, for what?
How is she getting into thesethings?
She's like, she's likeunpackaging, she's opening them
and then just like, and she'swearing like an open dress yeah
where she just like sits onthings and starts peeing on it.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, and then one dude is like ah, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
okay, uh, ma'am sits on things and starts peeing on
it.
Yeah, and then when dude islike ah, what are you doing?
Okay, ma'am, someone's peeingon aisle 11.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
On the coconut shreds .
Oh, I really needed those today.
Those aren't freeze driedanymore, they're freshly pissed
Because you know every day.
You want a little coconut shredSometimes.
And then she also pissed on allthe raw walnuts Raw walnuts.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Raw walnuts.
Wow, so no walnuts, no coconutshrimp today.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yep, and she's been doing this since 2021.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
And she's just now getting in trouble for it.
She's been so.
There really has been timeswhere it'd be like dude Kinky
Kelly's.
Here again she's pissing on theavocados.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
They see her car pull in, they're like, ah, fuck.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Fuck she's here.
You'll have to treat her forpissing on a juvenile if she
fucks with the baby carrots, thepolice said.
At this time it appears likelythat similar historic they say
historic incidents occurred inKeene and surrounding
communities, where Tedfordcontaminated items and or
surfaces with urine.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So this is one of those states where, if you
looked up how much porn or whatthey looked up most on porn,
that state was like piss, welook at piss.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Or maybe it's the groceries that they like to see,
and with these prices, who canblame her?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Right, like what is she?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I don't know, it's so weird because the indictment
here, who can blame her RightLike what is she?
What does that even mean?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
It's so weird because the indictment here it's the
state of New Hampshire againsther.
She's, you know, ruined theproperty of Monadnock Co-op,
lost in excess of $1,500, whenshe contaminated various store
and food items by spraying herurine on said items.
So she may have bottled it.
Did she bottle it or is shespraying it straight from the
source?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Oh my God, Well, that's not something I would
know.
I mean she has to be like full,like spread eagle, like lifting
one leg standing splits.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Like she's trying to get Chugly.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, going for a fire hydrant kind of a thing.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Well, I know a thing about female pee.
I know a thing about female pee.
It can go either way, wow.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Uh-huh, either way, like up or down or side to side.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Any direction you want.
It can helicopter around.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Oh my goodness, yes, I'd pay to see that.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Well, either way, people are all mad at her, so
we'll see.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I like her.
I like how her indictment looks, like a certificate it does, it
does.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
They commit the crime of criminal mischief.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
And this one down here.
It says this is a true bill.
This is a true bill.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yep Grand jury foreperson signed it themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
It's probably done for a bunch of people named Bill
yeah who like to watch and jerkoff to her activity.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
All right, let's move on from pee-pee to poo-poo.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Of course I knew you were going to say that.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
You're welcome Because you know what they say.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
What do they say?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Not every pee-pee time is a poo-poo time, but
every poo-poo time is a pee-peetime, I guess.
So that's what they say.
A school nutritionadministrator they have been
arrested.
Why?
Why?
Well, they went to get somebeer in a Pennsylvania
convenience store.
They were at an employee atRoyal Farms.
It's located in Hanover.
(29:46):
They called the police toreport an unknown woman had come
in the previous day.
She grabbed a beer, lifted upher skirt and then just took a
big dump right there in the beercave.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Whoa, what is happening?
Yes, I mean, was it like anemergency situation?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
This might also be for sexual purposes.
Oh God, the beer cave is awalk-in cooler open to the
public to select cooledbeverages.
All the doors in the beer caveare cooled areas and clear glass
providing visual of the insidefrom the common area of the
store.
A police review of the store,security footage showed the
(30:26):
suspect pushing a case ofalcoholic beverages back on the
shelf, pulling her pants downand then defecating on the
shelves on the shelf on theshelves.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
How'd she even fit in between the shelves?
Speaker 3 (30:39):
They're usually like metal racks, so it probably
split through and everything.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
God, what?
No, yeah, like the T-1000 goingthrough the cell wall, oh my
Lord.
So then she left.
So she took a big steamy andthen she left.
I will say it's nice that itwas cold in there, because it
would congeal the shit a littlefaster.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
It won't be so runny.
Yeah, I was also going to tryto find some common ground, like
if you ever are hot outside,then you go inside where's ac
and you get to take a littlenice little poop.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That sometimes feels nice it can, yeah, so the
cameras I have never taken noteof when I was really hot outside
and then I entered anair-conditioned room and was
like oh, I'm ready to finishshit now, Air-conditioned
bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Oh yeah, and you're like I'm going to throw down in
here.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Yeah, I'm saying, I've never thought that.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
That has never happened to me before.
You haven't lived, you're young.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Okay, Sure Okay.
Cameras recorded the womanarriving at Royal Farms in an
SUV.
The vehicle was registered to agal named Christy Goss and she
is 47 years old.
A driver's license photo ofGoss matched the subject
depicted in the surveillancefootage.
(31:50):
Goss was arrested on severalcrimes, including open lewdness,
criminal mischief anddisorderly conduct.
They also say she created quotehazardous and physical
offensive conditions.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yes, wow so there you go.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
She's not going to be allowed back in that beer
cooler anytime soon.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
She took a hot goss.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
She took a hot goss.
Well, I am a little enviousthough, because, as I mentioned,
she was a school nutritionadministrator.
She's flushed, she could justlet it go.
She's eating well.
Yeah, and for a 47-year-old,they say at that age you start
to get all bound up, wow.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I just feel like, I just think about how, like you
know those random times whereyou have to poop in not a toilet
, Like if you're camping orsomething.
Yeah, like if you're camping orsomething, and then you realize
that pooping is like so muchmore gross and smellier than you
even thought it was, becausethe water contains it a little
bit.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I went camping and they're like you can't shit in
the river.
And I was like why can't I shitin the river?
But they were all real seriousabout it.
So then I had to shit in thislike former ammo thing.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
It's like a military ammo thing that they put the
toilet seat on.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yeah, it's like a military ammo thing that they
put the toilet seat on, yeah,and then it just drops and then
it's just like there, it's justlooking at you and you're like,
oh God, how do you do thatperformance for sexual purposes
and not be throwing up theentire time?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Well, I don't know, We'll have to ask what was it?
De Niro or Pacino?
Somebody likes to.
I don't judge, I really don'tcare but someone likes to do the
shit on the glass table andthen watch the shit and stuff.
I mean I like buttholes but theyeah no.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
I don't.
I don't understand thatButtholes are cool, but
everything past it.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I'm not a fan of Buttholes are cool, but
everything past it, then againpeople probably judge me too,
you guys?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
are so weird, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
You know, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Like Zillow yes exactly.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Buttholes are like Zillow.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Right, right, yeah, interesting, how fun All right.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Well, let's move on from the fecal conversation,
please, scott, and let's discusspiggies.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Yay, I think.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
A Hawaiian teenager is facing up to 10 years in
prison.
We're going to discuss ifthat's really warranted or not.
Okay, he's facing up to 10years in prison after he and a
buddy stole a woman's pet pigand they did kill it.
Oh, the reason that they killedit was because they were trying
to get a $1,000 hunting contestprize and they cheated, right.
(34:20):
So the guy's name is Jadendenjernarski magana, and then this
guy, chris ryan.
They snatched quote eddie,that's the name of the pig which
checks out from a gale namedsarah hines in maui, and then
they filmed their dogs, and thisis bad.
They filmed their dogsviciously attacking the pig.
That's's messed up.
It is messed up.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Right, that sucks man .
Speaker 2 (34:43):
They proceeded to kill and gut Eddie and entered
him at the last minute to thelocal quote, biggest pig hunting
contest, Wow.
But the hunters there becamesuspicious after noting that the
pig had been neutered and wasmuch heavier than the typical
wild pigs.
Entered into the contest Gotcha.
(35:04):
So it was obviously adomesticated pig because they
cut its nuts off.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Who the hell brought this pig?
Who brought this indoor pig?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yes, that's my wife, whoa you ever hear the pig calls
?
Yeah, I love when they do thepig calls.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Those are two very different sounds.
I love when they do the pigcalls.
Those are two very differenttimes.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
I can do it, so they did end up walking away with a
$1,000 prize.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Wow, they did, they won.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yes, until there was a massive pig investigation.
Yeah, so pigs investigatingpigs, if you know what I mean.
That's a joke.
Thank you to the good policeofficers out there keeping us
safe.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Yes, yeah, yes yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, just leave me alone, because my car, my truck,
is currently not up to date.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh, you got to register that yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
I have to do another registration, even though I
bought the fucking thing.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
It doesn't matter.
So they changed their plea fromnot guilty to no contest.
They are scheduled to besentenced on felony counts of
first-degree animal cruelty andlivestock theft.
Each carry five years in prison.
So if they do run consecutively, then they're looking at 10
(36:12):
years each.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Mm-hmm, I mean this criminal, mischief shit, you
gotta cut it out.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You gotta cut it out, and I think it really is.
Obviously, we eat millions andmillions and millions of pigs
every year in this country, butthis pig was special because
they cut its nuts off, as I said.
Yeah, and this is what thefarmer says, or the woman that
owned the pig.
They say they organized a rallyoutside of the Wailuku
(36:42):
Courthouse to raise awarenessabout animal cruelty.
Haynes says Eddie was superfriendly.
Little kids could hug him, youknow.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
That was Eddie.
That's Eddie God damn it he'scute.
Yeah, that's cute.
It sucks, it's a cute pig.
It's a cute pig.
There's no denying that.
Yeah, eddie was super friendlyLittle kids could hug him.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
it sucks.
It's a cute pig.
It's a cute pig, there's nodenying that.
Yeah, and he was super friendly.
Little kids could hug him.
You know He'd sit, you couldget him to bark like a dog.
Aw, I mean, he was just themost adorable, sweet gentle soul
.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
He wasn't just a pig man, he was my friend, he was
her friend.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
She adopted the pig severalyears ago and brought her to
what she calls her kitty charmfarm, which is adorable, that's
adorable oh man, this is pissingme off.
And she says and you know, hislife started with cruelty and I
was determined to make that goaway for life and unfortunately
it ended the same way as itstarted.
(37:38):
That is so sad.
Yep, she says it ended the sameway as it started, you know,
with hunting dogs.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Oh my God, with hunting dogs.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
These dogs must be vicious, because my dog ain't
fucking with the pig.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Right, like what is like.
My dogs wouldn't do anything toa pig.
They were just like I don'tknow want to play catch with it.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Most American?
Well, obviously, hawaii isn'tAmerica, but most inland
American dogs.
I think they're losing to a pig.
Yeah for sure, for sure, rightI?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
mean, I would imagine they just want to play.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Also, isn't Hawaii like the birthplace of spam?
Possibly that's all pigshoulder.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I don't know, but I think that is part of Hawaii's
culture.
Is spam.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Hmm, it has a prominent place in Hawaiian
cuisine.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Spam musubi.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So maybe these kids, you know they're just getting
confused at not all pigs arefood, some pigs are friends.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Is that?
Is that spam?
Is that pig just wrapped up inlike a sushi thing?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah yeah, rice and spam, yeah it's spam wrapped in
seaweed with rice.
They're trying to advertise iton TV.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That's horrifying.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, spam is really trying right now.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Why Do we have like a surplus of pig shoulders or
something?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
It's because we're about it.
We might be already in therecession or it's coming, so
we're trying to get ready forlike poor food.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
And trying to make it like no, it's good, We've
always loved spam sushi.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Who needs tuna Right?
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
It's kind of like we're-.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Kind of brainwashed.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
We'll be eating like the little rascals fairly soon.
Yeah, it's canned beans.
What's better than that?
We love that.
So she says I don't want toruin anybody's life and I don't
think there's any possibility ofthem getting 10 years.
But what I would like to see?
I would like to see apunishment.
This wasn't an innocent mistake.
This wasn't confusion about thelaw.
(39:27):
This was a planned attack on mypets.
So to the credit of the piggyowner, who seems like this
adorable woman here, she says Idon't want them to do 10 years
in prison, but I just want somepunishment to happen to the kids
, because I don't think 10 yearsis a lot for like 10 years is
pretty aggressive.
Because you go to prison, thenyou're going to eat like
pepperoni every day and you'relike I'm eating what I, just
(39:47):
what I'm here for.
Yeah, yeah, but it was the factthat the human being had a
connection with said pig andthat's really the problem there.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Well, you know what I mean a lot of problems.
There was the cheating.
There was the kidnapping ofsomeone's pet Farm animal person
.
There was the criminal mischiefof making their dogs sticking
their dogs on this poor fuckingpig.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
That's the worst part .
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Enjoying that, recording it.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
That's very bizarre.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
And then entering it into a contest and being like,
yeah, we caught this wild pig insomeone's backyard.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Right, yeah, I mean I kind of blame the contest.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
It is a weird contest .
Speaker 1 (40:26):
What is up with that contest you know, bring me the
fattest pig.
And they were a bunch of dudesrunning around in fields being
like pig hunt.
Hey, you can't hunt here.
This is my hunting spot.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Right, I saw that pig and I guess the guys don't even
really hunt.
They use their dogs to hunt,which that ain't fair.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
That's not hunting.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
If you're going to hunt bow and arrow, that's
really badass and that's toughto do.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
It's tough to do.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
These AR-15s.
Whatever you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
No Ruins the meat.
What are you doing all that for?
Yeah, it's too easy.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
It's way too easy.
Anyway, positive story and thisis butt of the week oh, butt of
the week and the butt of theweek is chicken nuggets.
Okay, okay, taco bell.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
They debuted, debuted , they debuted they debuted,
they debuted they very demurelydebuted yes, our butt of the
week.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
So Taco Bell crispy chicken nuggets.
They first debuted in December,but it was just a limited time
offer.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I never tried them.
I never tried them.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I didn't hear about this.
That's why I'm so excited.
I didn't hear about this.
I know I have their emails.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
I'm subscribed.
Why haven't I heard of this?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I know, I know I'm very excited about this.
It was an instant hit, but theytook them off the menu.
They were like oh yeah, you alllike these.
Too bad, they're ours now.
And then they're all eating thechicken nuggets.
Yeah, I've been watching a lotof competitive eaters on YouTube
and, holy hell, it's getting mehungry.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
There's one guy named Eric the Viking or something,
and he eats so much food andhe's all skinny.
These guys, I don't get howthey're so skinny.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
They binge and purge.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
No.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
No, he says he digests it, it's metabolism
people.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Some people have fast metabolism and they work out a
bunch before and after and thenthey don't eat.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I don't think they eat a lot during the week.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
I feel like they have to practice eating, though they
, I feel like they have topractice eating, though they do.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Yeah, I watched it.
Joey Chestnut was talking aboutpractice eating.
He says he's an athlete and Iagree with him.
So the fast food chain theyunderstood the beloved offering
will return April 24th as thefirst step.
This is just the first step inmaking them a permanent menu
item by 2026.
Interesting.
(42:42):
So, this is going to be a bigdeal and, as you can see in the
picture here, these nuggies dolook good.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
They look very crispy but at the same time it's not a
Taco Bell-like known.
It's not an item that youexpect to see in Taco Bell.
Are they stealing fromMcDonald's?
Speaker 2 (43:01):
These have a different look than the
McDonald's sort of pink goonuggets.
Yeah, these look real.
They do look real.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Good breading on it.
Yeah, they look better breaded.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Some have deemed these Michelin Star worthy.
Oh, michelin Star, which, ofcourse, is Michelin Star worthy.
Yes, that's what the MichelinStar program is, is it?
Speaker 3 (43:23):
really, it started by the tire company.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
What, yeah, to get people driving?
Yeah, it's true, is it true?
Yeah, wow, yeah, the MichelinStar.
It's the Michelin tire companythat created it.
People in the chat have beensaying so they're made from all
white chicken meat, not todisparage the black chicken,
(43:45):
whoa, they are marinated in azesty jalapeno buttermilk and
breaded in a crunchy blend oftortilla chips and breadcrumbs.
Okay, so their tortilla chipreally brings that Taco Bell
flavor.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Isn't that fun.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I am intrigued, yes, I'm intrigued.
Isn't that fun.
I am intrigued, yes, I'mintrigued Customers.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
you can get a five-piece offering with dipping
sauce or a 10-piece offering,and then you get two dippers.
So if you get the 10, you gettwo dippies.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I love two dippers.
And you know what?
I'm not going to lie Even if Ihave the five-piece, I'm going
to pay extra for the seconddipper, always.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Always.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
You know the second one, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
the second one costs extra.
I want honey mustard, I wantsweet and sour sauce, I want
ranch.
That went a little bit less,though.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, a combo is also including fries with nacho
cheese sauce and also a largedrink.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Oh, of course they're going to have things like nacho
cheese dippers, because they'refucking, they're Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
They're Taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Something's going to be a little on the mild side of
things.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
What kind of sauces can you get?
You can get a Hidden ValleyFire Ranch.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
And that's Taco Bell's first ever ranch
partnership.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Wow yeah, so Taco Bell and ranch, I wasn't far off
.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, they're finally kissing each other.
You can also get a thing calledBell Sauce.
What is that you say?
What's bell sauce?
That's a creamy tangy andtomato forward type sauce Tomato
forward.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Tomato forward.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
I like when my tomatoes are forwards and not
backwards.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Yeah, I like them covered in piss Progressive.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Don't do that I want.
And then there's what thisjalapeno honey mustard.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Then there's jalapeno honey mustard.
That looks pretty fire.
Yep, so this is a huge deal.
Taco bell chief marketingofficer, taylor montgomery yeah,
he said in a statement, thedemand for our nuggets was off
the charts.
Off the charts, which is whywe're looking at making crispy
chicken permanent to give ourfans what they're telling us
(45:39):
they want.
We know we're not usually inthe crispy chicken game, but our
nuggets speak for themselves.
They're bold, different andunmistakably Taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Oh my God, I'm sold.
Listen, arriving at this story,I was a little bit hesitant.
I wasn't sure what to make ofit.
Because I love my McDonald'snuggies Sure, yeah, they've
really put their own spin of it.
Because I love my McDonald'sNuggies Sure, they've really put
their own spin on it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
And I want to try them Unmistakably, taco Bell.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Unmistakably.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Taco Bell.
Alright, everyone.
Do we have any comments?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Everyone's talking about Nuggies with dippies and
the nacho fries.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Oh my god, get on with it.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
The nacho fries are pretty solid too.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Jeff is asking if the parent company also owns Arby's
.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Well, they're all together now.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
So it's possible.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
It's Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
The Taco Huts yeah, they haveall the same.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, there's a lot of combo stores out there now,
yeah, a lot of people Well alsoPizza Hut and Taco Bell joined
forces in Union Square in NewYork.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
They did they did yes , yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
So maybe that's part of the tomato forward with a
little bit more of that kind oftomato-y sauce.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
I do love tomatoes.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
People wondering why this OnlyFans lady didn't just
create like a fake store andpretend she was in public and
pissed all over the stuff thatshe already bought.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
She definitely could do that.
There'd be plenty of thingsavailable for that here in LA
for her.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
Vanessa's agreeing with Jerry saying if she's got a
finger down there she can fullforce pee in different
directions.
Oh great.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
If she has a finger down there.
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Well, yeah, you can move it around the logistics.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Again, I think you can also just like doggy fire
hydrant Also.
You know, when girls likereally like, when they really
like push out the pee and itcomes out like a fire hose.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Yeah right and they say that oh that was all squirt.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah Well, I'm a fire crotch, baby, no I just really
had to go and I'm in a rush so Iwant all of it out.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
I want it all out now .
Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yes, Vanessa's just saying 2025 is drunk.
Yes, indeed.
All right, everyone.
Thank you for listening.
We will be back tomorrow.
Hail yourself.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye, bye, bye.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.