April 28, 2025 • 47 mins
Could our entire reality be nothing more than an elaborate computer program? Physics professor Melvin Vopson thinks so, and his theory that gravity represents the universe compressing data like a computer might just change how you view everything around you.
We kick things off with some bizarre updates that make you question what's real—a Michael Jordan-shaped Cheeto selling for over $8,000, the tragic and unexpected passing of Jiggly Caliente from RuPaul's Drag Race, and truly strange airplane incidents featuring passengers having breakdowns at 30,000 feet. The increasingly weird stories almost seem like glitches in our supposed simulation.
The heart of our conversation explores Vopson's revolutionary paper proposing that gravity isn't just a fundamental force pulling objects together, but rather the universe's method of organizing information efficiently. Just as computers compress files to save space, Vopson suggests the universe pulls objects with mass together to optimize its computational resources. This theory transforms how we understand physical laws—what if everything from galaxy formation to planetary motion is simply the universe keeping its data organized?
Whether you find the simulation hypothesis comforting or terrifying, it raises profound questions about free will, consciousness, and what it means to exist. After all, if our reality is programmed, are our choices truly our own? As we discuss the philosophical implications, we can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone or something is watching our simulated lives unfold—perhaps even laughing at the bizarre stories we cover each episode.
Send us your thoughts, dog pictures, or recipes at okbudpod@gmail.com and check out our Patreon at patreon.com/diebud for exclusive content. Because whether we're in a simulation or not, this community is very real!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wait, what Whoa Um alright.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Ah, I just fell in love, oh nice, well, whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Isn't that nice.
Who the hell is that?
Hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's gonna be OK
Bud.
I am Ben Kissel hanging outwith Jerry Akito.
Hello, at Miss underscore,jerry, that's J-E-R-I-I.
(00:31):
I am also at Ben Kissel 1 withKyle Plouffe.
I'm going to fight and die forthis podcast.
At Kyle Plouffe, acting likethe offensive lineman that the
New England Patriots drafted,who said he wants to die on that
field, and he very well might.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
New England Patriots drafted.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
He said he wants to die on that field and he very
well might Wow, he really didsay that, huh, he did, wouldn't
that be exciting, it was awesome.
No, all right, check out ourPatreon patreoncom.
Slash diebud.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
Let us know your thoughts.
Send us some love Pictures ofdogs, animals, cats, recipes,
which we did get one, and it'svery long.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
What did we get?
What's the recipe for you wantthe recipe?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Let's see I can check it out.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I mean, what are we cooking?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I think, it was like a bacon and eggs pie or
something Bacon and eggs pie,bacon and eggs pie, something
like that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'll find it that sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's dog pictures and pie recipe.
Yes, the pie is A lot to do.
It's a full page.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Oh damn, this is a whole Saturday off.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So thank you, shane.
So much for sending that over.
It's a quiche Quiche.
Oh it's a quiche Technically.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Filed under quiche.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I feel like quiche is just the fancy neighbor of the
pie that comes over with aBritish accent.
And you're like.
You're just like us.
You live in the same freakinghouse, todd.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You ain't better than us.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No, just because you got an accent.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Well, speaking of better, we have three updates,
and then we're going to talkabout if we're living in a
simulation or not.
Ooh Duh, yeah, duh Duh.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Remember that.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Duh, cheetos, cheetos .
Not all Cheetos are shaped thesame.
Some are shaped like MichaelJordan.
Some are shaped like MichaelJordan.
Some are shaped like the iconicJumpman logo.
Take a look at that hot Cheeto.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
That is very true.
What a butt on that Cheeto.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The Cheeto has a fantastic butt.
It's been working out.
Hopefully it's natty.
Yeah yeah, we don't know.
This sold for over $8,000.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Ooh, why?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Because it's cool.
So there were 32 bids.
The price started at $250, andit ended at $8,113.
The final bidder got athree-inch long Cheeto.
Hello ladies, hey, Hello ladies.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Covered in cheese.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
No, that sounds about right.
You know, in some cultures it'sabove average.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It's enough to fill you up.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
We don't really need that much.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It should have some tang on it, maybe if you didn't
eat so much, maybe it would be,enough to fill you up, Maybe if
you didn't eat so much.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So it's bite-sized and now it is worth $8,000, and
I guess you're not going to eatit.
It's probably all crusty andgross.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I really want some, whoever bought it.
I really want them to have likean idiot kid who just opens it
and eats it.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I really honestly think that's what they deserve.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, that'd be so funny.
They'll be like, yeah, mom,what's up?
They'll be like, no, don'ttouch that.
They're like what?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, you ate my special Cheeto Shut, special
cheeto.
You listen to this guy.
You imagine that specialcheetos it also goes with toys.
I'm sorry if you're a man andyou're in your 40s and there's a
toddler around and he playswith your star wars figurine.
Yeah, and you're like no, thatwas han solo, that's an
exclusive it's just what it'sgonna be, because it's for
(03:37):
children and we can't lose sightof that.
Yeah, it is for the kids andrarely do I side with the child.
I'm usually like punt them, dowhatever you got to do with them
.
So true, but it's a toy thekid's not like.
What's the resale value on that, that's?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
hilarious.
They don't care yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I mean, I'm looking at the toys in front of us right
now, I was going to say we havea little set, we have our
little toys here.
I have a bunch of toys in myhouse, but when, caden, your
child, becomes of age where hewants to play with toys unless
he fucks with my Wolfman whichis that's actually a collectible
.
Well, yeah Now you're startingto sound like the guy you hate.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Exactly what you were just making fun of like two
seconds ago.
You can play with it.
Not the Wolfman, it's theWolfman.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It's actually an iconic toy from the 60s that I
paid top dollar for that's right, someone paid top dollar for
this Cheeto.
Someone paid top dollar for theCheeto Moving on.
In a serious news we coveredthis woman from RuPaul's Drag
Race.
Oh my God, jiggly Caliente.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Jiggly Caliente.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
They lost a leg and we're like, okay, what's their
stripper or what's their dragname going to be?
Eileen?
You know just funny stuff.
Wow, get it.
Wow, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Sponsored by IHOP.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, whatever.
Oh, my God.
You know, You're all on thefast track train to hell is much
more serious.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
She died yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's insane.
I had no like, no one knew itwas going to be like that.
No, no.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I didn't realize either when I was looking up
more stuff about I was lookingup more stuff up about her, and
she was named Jiggly afterJigglypuff the Pokemon.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's correct, yeah, yeah yeah, it's like even more
as long as she didn't die fromdiabetes, which I don't believe
she did.
She had an infection, we talkedabout it.
She had to get her legamputated, and so we're like
okay, you know, she can make itwork.
She got a bionic leg.
She's going to be out theretwerking.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Having a good time.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I guess it was far more freaking serious.
Yeah, they probably didn't stopit.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
And I'd still.
Yeah, and I was like you justcut off my leg right before I'm
dying.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Right, I'm going into heaven, not full.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Oh my god, do you think you just go to the
afterlife with however manylimbs you like lay to rest in?
That's pretty fucked up.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Where's my ghost leg?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, literally, you have to have the will to
Kyle's point.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
They do say, oh, I have a ghost.
I'm a ghost like you feel ityeah, I think there's something
there yeah, I think there's alittle so when you die and you
don't need this fucking meatcasket that we're all forced to
be born into yeah, I think youget your leg back.
I don't even think you thinkabout it, because you're just an
entity and you just kind offloating and legs are just like
so mundane and stupid.
You're like who needs legs?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
yes, actually I am energy, exactly so.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Jiggly Caliente is energy somewhere in the world
dancing, hopefully avoidingwhatever Katy Perry's new show
is.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
God, because it looks very funny Dress in peace.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It is so, so sad.
Drag queens and trans womenalways have a really short life
expectancy because of how much,like because of all the hate
crimes that they go through Hatecrime.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
hate crime hate crime .
Speaker 2 (06:45):
But so it was like really scary when she like went
through this, but and she stillpassed away young and it was not
even from anything like violentyeah, no, jiggly can't caliente
.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So she was trans.
Yes is, and this wascontroversial at one point for
the drag community because youwere.
You were supposed to be a guydressed as a gal into his drag,
but she was a trans gal dressedas a gal.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
That's what I was going to ask, because I didn't
want to be accused of being abigot, because I didn't know
Whoa, God forbid.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I want to learn.
You're a bigot.
I want to learn.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
So this is a trans woman taking away a straight
man's job, apparently.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Or a gay man's job, or a it's a gay man's job.
It's a gay man's job there wasone straight man on RuPaul's
Drag Race.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
There was a straight man in full drag.
What's his name?
His name is Matty Morphosis.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We exist.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It's a completely straight man, but he goes full
drag, has girlfriends and he'sactually pretty funny.
He has a show on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Completely straight Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
But anyway, the point is that drag is an art form and
so a lot of men willcross-dress and then, going
through the performances of itall, then they realize, oh, I
feel like this is really me.
And then they go through thattransformation where, like, well
, I'm a trans woman, but drag isstill an art form that I want
to partake in.
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, Jiggly Caliente , a statement was made and it is
sad.
Well, Jiggly Caliente, astatement was made and it is sad
.
It says with profound sorrowthat we announce the passing of
Bianca Castro Arribo, known tothe world as the chair and
cherished by many as JigglyCaliente.
Bianca passed away peacefullyApril 27th at 4.42 am,
(08:20):
surrounded by her family andfriends.
Rip.
Wow, how quickly that turned.
Friends.
Rip Wow, how quickly thatturned around.
Seriously, yeah, man, you hearabout these infections, like the
brain worm that RFK Jr had.
I read something where a personwas swimming and a piece of
face went into their nose andthey got a brain disease and
(08:40):
then it ate their entire brainand then their entire head was
full of nothing but water andair and they died.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
All weird there are worms that wait in the in the
water and they wait for you topee and they will follow the
heat trail of the pee coming outand go right through your pp a
little.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Do they know?
I'm waiting for it.
I get them.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I get a little welcome sign I just thought, god
, I hated that.
He held his finger and was likeacting like the worm going
through the penis and it feltvery visceral.
I hated it so much.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, well, that's another update.
So many updates today.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
There's so many updates.
Things have been moving alongin this here earth.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Moving is one way to describe what we saw when it
comes to the sperm race.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh my God, the sperm race.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
That was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
We all knew who was going to take that crown.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This was absolutely insane.
It was really.
Do we want to?
Let's play the sound here.
Can you get the sound?
I'll send it to you.
Well, it's already, it's in ourgroup chat on OK Bud, ok, ok,
ok, bud, ok Bud.
And we got to play the Soundbecause it is freaking hilarious
(09:46):
and I want to be a commentatorfor this and if they're hiring
please.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, the commentators did kind of suck,
but they were all college kids,of course.
Yeah, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Marv Elbert isn't doing this.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah right, it was just really they were funny.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Let's give some play by play.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Did you see the opening racers?
Yeah's, give some play-by-play.
Did you see the opening racers?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, there were some pre-cum.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
There really was yeah .
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That one was also a landslide win.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yes, one person.
Spunk was just head andshoulders.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, just the Asian kid.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Was it the Asian kid it?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
was the Asian kid, and then he just went up and was
like, yeah, I didn't know thatmy boys did things like that,
but that's what's up.
But now did they get rid of thegood spunk too early?
Hopefully.
All right, here we go, thedumbest.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It is crazy how clear it is.
The Asian kid sperm just goesright out of the gate, usain.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Bolt.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's so crazy.
They have these different zoomlenses on all the parts of the
track.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
It's insane that there's a track that we're
watching with sperms racing.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I never really thought that sperm were real
until now.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
This was not on my 2025 bingo card.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I'll tell you what Every one of that dude's sperm
beat all of the other dude'ssperm.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But that was just race one.
Race two the white kid whoopedass and why are they feeling
Okay?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
did anyone see that?
They're also in these littleglass cases?
Where they get splurged withsplooge.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Like they're on Nickelodeon back in the 90s.
Yeah, they got gacked.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
God.
So that's the future.
The future is now and spermracing is big.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Wait, but where was the main event race?
Because that was the openingone, right?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That was the main event.
That was the last one.
That was the main event.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh wow.
So yeah, either your boys run.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I mean the shitty main event.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, either the boys run or they don't walk.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yep, that's it, total blowout.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Total blowout, yeah, total blowout.
Come on guys.
Yeah, how to train your cum.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Seriously.
Well actually, I mean, wouldn'tyou want to slow it down as a
young person?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Why Would you want to erase it?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
But you know to procreate for procreating
reasons.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
You want to slow down the cum.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, wouldn't you want to train it to be like all
right, there's the uterus door,you look at it and then you turn
around and you walk back, likeyou know.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
So they don't Well, but the point you want them to
moonwalk.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Sure, what the fuck?
What are you?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Come on, you're like walk it back and then you'll be
like Walk it back.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
She's talking about self-deportation.
There's an app for that now.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, yeah, it's breakfast time.
They should try a quiche.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Absolutely Picking an egg quiche.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
All right and just.
Lastly, in our update and thisis freaking crazy We've been
covering the Virginia Gouffredrama the past few weeks.
Obviously, she said she was ina car accident involving a bus
where she was hit.
She had four days to live.
She wants to see her children.
She's in Australia all alone.
She has died via suicide, andyou guys can put the air quotes
(13:14):
up if you want to.
That is the official response.
Now a lawyer for VirginiaGufray says we've got big
question marks all over it.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I will say people are like.
She said she wasn't suicidal inthis tweet.
That tweet was from 2019 and alot can change in six years.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Before she lost her kids.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Before she lost her children and before life comes
at you hard.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, and it already did before that, lest we forget.
Like she's been through theringer this one, I feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So the lawyer says we've got big questions
regarding it.
Carrie Loudon claimed the41-year-old mother had shown no
signs that she wanted to harmherself before she was found
dead in the Western Australiafarm where she was living.
She says when I got the phonecall I was like are you joking?
That's not a funny joke.
(14:06):
Yeah, hey, virginia Goofrey'sdead.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Whoa Are you joking?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Are you joking?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I know how you usually say Virginia Goofrey's
dead when you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It's kind of funny.
What's the punchline?
So she says because there wasno sign that it was something
she was considering.
Loudon she represented agoofray since January.
She expressed skepticism overthe announcement that has
(14:35):
shocked the world.
Loudon says there's suicide andthen there's misadventure.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
What Suicide or misadventure, yeah, what?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Suicide or misadventure.
Well, misadventure is like whenyou're choking yourself while
you jerk it off, and then that'show you die.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
How did you know that so quickly?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Because we've covered it on Death and Entertainment.
Oh yeah, I'm sure you're allover it.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Cody, yes, I'm sure you're all over misadventuring,
he knows.
He knows it's also a great namefor a drag queen Misadventure,
Misadventure so they say.
I didn't see her in the room.
I wasn't in there.
The family said what the familyhas said, but I'm not going to
speculate on whether it wassuicidal or whether it was
suicide or accidental.
(15:18):
So it came weeks again aftershe said that she only had four
days to live after being hit bya bus.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But that was a rough time too, like looking at what
happened.
She lied about this thing,about how severe it was.
And then she got attacked byall the parents.
Being like girl, it was nowherenear that bad.
It was a fender bender, andthen she got to receive like
some onslaught and who knows,maybe it all built up.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
I think there was a lot of things building up here.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
There was a lot you didn't see her children.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
She was going through a divorce.
Yeah, the media attention, somepositive, some negative.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Yeah, I don't know exactly what her.
Do you know if she wastrafficked, grabbed and
kidnapped, or if she was justcoaxed in and she thought she
was friends with everybody andthen was in too deep?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I think it was a coaxing from my understanding.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because that could take so long to become to feel
like an actual trauma to you,like you were just like oh, we
were all friends.
And then years later you'relike wait a second, I was
completely fucked over, this wasfun.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I know the feeling.
So her lawyer says she was in alot of pain, but she was
looking forward to things in thefuture, to things in the future
.
They say she wanted to renovatethis house and all sorts of
things like that, although houserenovation is a nightmare and I
think I would rather die thando it.
Oh my God, yeah, I hate itbecause it's not like Chip and
Jojo from Fixer Upper coming inand they're like shiplap and
(16:37):
it's over in 28 minutes.
It takes like fucking months oryears and then everything's
awful and then you're in a moneypit and then you're sad, wow,
okay.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well, I mean, my parents are working on their
bathroom right now, oh, but it'sbeen more like a two-week
debacle, and every time I callthem they're like, oh God, we
just have to keep working onthis bathroom.
But they sound funny becauseit's going to be a really nice
bathroom.
Oh, that'll be nice.
Probably something like that.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Do they still have romance in their life?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, they do.
Their bathroom is huge.
You could rent it out for like$2,000 a month out here in LA.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
That's great.
I love your family'srelationship.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So she says.
This is according to thestatement.
They say she lost her life tosuicide after being a lifelong
victim of sexual abuse and sextrafficking.
She was the light that liftedso many survivors.
Despite all the adversity shefaced in her life, she shone so
bright.
She will be missed beyondmeasure.
So what a bizarre conclusion tothe Virginia Gouffre story.
(17:39):
Her life, and many people aresaying this, is the third victim
, as far as death goes, ofJeffrey Epstein.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So, my God, Crazy, yeah, what a crazy.
Rest in peace.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Rest in peace.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's all over now, man.
She definitely had some trials,she had to be fucked.
It was a long road, yep,nowhere.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
She really did All.
Right.
Well, let's go on to a coupleof small stories before we ask
are we, it was a long road?
Yep, nowhere, she really didAll right?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Well, let's go on to a couple of small stories before
we ask are we living in?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
a simulation Lation, lation, lation.
Yes, a woman, and I'm actuallygoing to say I have empathy for
this woman.
So it was a Southwest Airlineflight from Philly to Chicago.
Yes, I actually do, right, itwas a Southwest airline flight
from.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Philly to Chicago Actually.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yes, I actually do Right.
It was a Southwest airlineflight from Philadelphia to
Chicago and there was a womanand she got all upset and then
she took off all of her clothes.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And then she started going down the aisles of the
Southwest airline flight.
Then she went back to her seatand then she took a big dump on
her seat.
What?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
She took a shit to her seat and then she took a big
dump on her seat.
She took a, she took a shit onher seat, was she?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
like absolutely wasted.
Well, this is why I haveempathy, she said, as she was
walking around naked, taking adump on her seat.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm bipolar she was having an episode.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Oh, that sucks yes, so uh, the airline says our
teams are reaching out to thoseon board to apologize for the
situation and any delays totheir travel plans.
But come on, this is the joy oftravel.
Now you've got the story totell.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
when you land in Ireland, I mean, that's the kind
of story that you want,interrupting your flights?
Absolutely.
She lost her vine and got naked.
Was anyone hurt?
No, but it smelled really bad.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I mean the person that was sitting next to her,
taking that dump on the seat,just being like, oh my God, put
a seatbelt on it please.
I don't want this flying up inthe air.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
No, seriously.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Good God, almighty.
I also love it was a flightfrom Philly to Chicago, so the
accents are just going to befucking classic.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It also was a Short flight, short flight to deal
with that that's just like a fun, fun little experience.
Yeah, Not so much an ordeal butan experience.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
It was an experience and that's the show.
Yeah, that's the show, the shitpart.
It's a little GGL in airlines.
Yeah, yeah, but you know havefun with it.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Oh, you took a little toot there.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Oh, my fucking Chicago.
I knew they had deep dish, Ididn't know it was that deep.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So during the flight from Houston's William P Hobby
Airport to Phoenix on Monday, awoman stripped naked in front of
stunned passengers in aSouthwest Airline flight.
Stunned, stunned.
They were stunned, yes.
So initially they said it wasfrom Philly to Chicago.
I don't freaking know.
Either way, they're on agoddamn airplane.
And then everyone was all madand stuff.
(20:28):
And then she was arrested.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Wow.
I don't think nothing fun likethis ever happens on my flights.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, there were probably some guys that were
really into it on that flightbeing like, yeah, take that shit
.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You think so?
Yeah, she just started losingher mind and some dudes were
like let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah, maybe I've been waiting for this, right.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Which is messed up if she was going through an
episode.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
but there was a lot of people tuning into that
episode.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Oh I see, I see that.
So this is actually so there'stwo different incidences here.
Oh so the other incident wasthe Houston to Phoenix flight,
where someone stripped naked andstarted running down the halls.
And then this flight was againfrom Philly to Chicago.
So it's happening, it's anepidemic, it's an epidemic.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I mean planes in the sky lately.
They're weird.
It's a weird time to be a plane.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I entrusted him.
I just read a follow-up articleon the airplane that was hit by
the helicopter going into theWashington airport and
apparently the helicopter theguy was like hey, you don't want
to do that.
But then the helicopter pilotwas like I don't care.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
She's like I think I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I think I know what I'm doing Enough mansplaining
here.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh my god, let's make it about gender.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Let's make it about gender and gender roles.
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Listen, sir.
You're the co-pilot Done.
No, you're not in the rightlane.
Lanes are a construct.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
So, as you can see here, the woman is butt-ass
naked.
She's kind of cute.
I mean, it's a lot of blur,there's a lot of blur there,
there's blur, there's blur.
But she does seem to have armsand a leg and a body that's good
.
So that's good.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
That that makes it a person.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It lasted about 25 minutes.
This was the William P HobbyAirport flight, so it lasted
about 25 minutes.
And then she said yeah, I'mbipolar, so that's why I'm
giving her a pass.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah, she ran up and down the aisle and then she
proceeded to make her waytowards the front of the plane
and then she started banging onthe cockpit doors asking to be
let in, and then she wasscreaming, and then everyone was
really scared.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
She's hitting the cockpit doors being like hurry
up, I got to shit.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Everyone's like don't worry, she's not armed, we can
see.
She's completely unarmed.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Oh, she's armed, she's disarmed now.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Discharged.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Both of the planes that involve separate incidences
were taken in for deep clean.
They got deep clean.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
By deep clean do you mean they just took that one
chair and threw it the fuck out?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, they don't do it, Just threw it out the chair.
They're like nah, just wipe itoff, it's good.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Clorox that bitch.
We're good.
We got another flight in 40minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Me too, it's gross.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh god, it's terrible .
Imagine being the next personWalking onto that plane and you
don't even know.
And then, you're like Huh, doesit smell weird in here?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Excuse, me Perchance.
Did someone shit in my seat,perchance?
Why do you ask Perchance?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Like the movie Clue, where they step in shit at the
beginning and they continuallysmell it throughout the film,
which is a great movie.
Check out the movie Clue.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Check it out.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
A hit film from the 1980s if you haven't seen it.
So be careful out there whenyou're flying.
You never know what's going tohappen.
And again, if you do have aneed for a mental breakdown,
maybe try to do it on land, butalso sometimes the Lord strikes
wherever.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
The Lord strikes wherever.
Hopefully you get the help youneed as far as meds to be able
to control these episodes whenyou're compromising places, such
as in the middle of the fuckingsky.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Yep.
I'm surprised the New York Posthasn't posted anything.
That's like South WasteAirlines.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Get me a job, New York Post.
Come posted anything that'slike South Waste Airlines.
Oh, Get me a job, New York Post.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Come on, yeah, for real, sleeping on the Cayetola.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I know a lot of people that work at the Kyle
Post.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
At the New York Post.
I'll start the Kyle Post.
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
It's like the same seven old dudes that make those
headlines.
They're like fucking sevenmonkeys typing.
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
It's incredible.
Lastly, in our small storiesthis is interesting A man has
been on the subway.
He has been arrested andcharged with rape.
What's interesting here is therape occurred on a dead body.
Oh, yeah, Okay so the guy'sname is Felix Rojas.
Yeah, so, okay.
So the guy's name is FelixRojas, 44 years, fun, and he
(24:49):
sexually violated a dead body onthe lower Manhattan subway
train, which no one seems to betalking about, like there's just
dead bodies on the train.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Not for nothing, I'm pretty sure I saw a dead body on
a train one time.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I think I've seen a bunch of them.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, no, seriously, like time I think I've seen a
bunch of them.
Yeah, no, seriously, like youreally like see bodies where
you're like I don't know thatguy doesn't look passed out that
guy looks fucking out.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, I saw someone on the street in the east
village.
It was cold outside and hewasn't.
He kind of looked like a frozenrat.
Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
No, it's fucking terrible I think there was like,
uh, it would be packed,everyone would be like going to
work and morning commute, andthen there's just like a dude,
like just completely plankedover in a chair and a bench it's
good to remember that nothingreally matters.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, you can just be dead on the subway whenever
yeah, and they're like I'mtrying to get to work yeah and
people step over you yeah,they're like I don't need to.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Can someone deal with this after I get off the train
at my stop?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
will that either of you sexually molest this dead
body that you saw?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
no, probably not well .
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's why you're different, felix Rojas.
He has been charged with rapenearly three weeks after he
allegedly assaulted the body ofa dead man.
This was on the R train at theWhitehall station, which is what
we've all been on.
The victim was a 37-year-olddude, Jorge Gonzalez.
He mysteriously died on thetrain and then Rojas saw him and
(26:04):
then he started doing crazythings to the guy's body.
Gonzalez boarded the subwayaround 8 pm, april 8th.
Then the suspect got on threehours later.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
So within that time he died.
And then it's a necrophiliac.
This guy the necrophiliac getson.
He performed an act on the deadman shortly after midnight and
then fled the train around 12.08am.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
So he was finished pretty quickly there.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I guess.
So it's not exactly clear whatGonzales died of, but his
estranged wife said he dealtwith alcoholism and cirrhosis so
he probably had a couple ofdrinks, a little buzzed up, got
on the train for the last time.
And then this guy.
I don't know what he did.
They say necrophiliac, so hemust have gotten all up in there
(27:01):
.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And it's midnight on the train there's still people.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Oh yeah, it's the R train.
It's very, very, verysuccessful as far as the trains
go.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Successful.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
It's a successful train.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
It successfully kills people.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
And in this case the R stands for a rapé.
Anyway, that was a strangestory that goes nowhere, and I
really don't know what else tosay about it, it goes directly
to jail.
It goes directly to jail.
So that's your Mondaynecrophiliac news, which is what
people come to this show for.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Maybe, no, maybe we shouldn't advertise it that way.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
No, I know we have to get our numbers up.
People Come on Word of mouth.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Word of mouth.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Go tell every dead corpse that you see on the
subway to listen.
Actually, just grab theirphones and download it on
Spotify.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So true, yeah, so true.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I bet this guy's going to be arguing that it's a
victimless crime, though,because he was dead.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well, that's kind of the interesting thing.
I get the brutality of a body,all that stuff, yeah, yeah all
that and that and stuff.
But is it?
I mean, I know this soundsweird, but is it what they're
saying?
It is.
Yeah, it's kind of Because theguy's dead.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
He can't give consent because he's dead.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
He can't give consent .
I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
It's just an interesting phrasing, because I
never really heard it phrasedthat way.
It's usually like did allfucked up shit with the body,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's yeah, it's never going
to be warranted if it's a deadbody.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
No, no, very, no very .
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Still disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It is disrespectful.
It's very disrespectful.
I will tell you what.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
That is disrespectful .
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You saw that body on the R train and you blew that.
Well, he must have gone in.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Well, yeah, he tried to figure out which angle he
took.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I don't know yeah no it looks like a nice train,
though it looks like they'veredone the R train.
Those look like the old Ltrains.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's a cozy seat and the guydoes seem to be passed away
upright.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
And you know the air conditioning in there is always
like blasting, so they probablycouldn't smell the dead body,
especially when it was likepretty fresh yeah, it could be
the guy is dead, but his his legis still crossed are you sure
that's him?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
it's all blurred.
I I don't.
Maybe it's what it might not be.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
We're just showing the killer right now, and then
that's just like a person okaythat might just be a person,
okay, well, if that guy was deadstanding up no I know that's
the molester yeah, this is thegraper oh you're thinking that's
just another guy, that's justlike a dude, that's just sitting
there.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
No one, you can't.
There's no way you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Drunkenly pass out with, like, your leg over your
knee, like that.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
That's how I sit on the train.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Is that how you fall asleep on the train?
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I tried not to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I've done it before what?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
are.
Are you going to do to me?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Roll me over, treat me like a surfboard.
I've woken up without a wallet.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, I've woken up on the train before Best ten
minutes of my life.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
A friend of ours was on a train a few months ago and
he woke up to a guy doing hisshoelaces.
He's like oh, this nice guy'sdoing my shoelaces for me
because they were undone.
And then he realized the guywas stealing his shoes.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, no shit.
Oh my God, why would the guy betying his shoes?
Because they're undone.
What is your friend?
Is he from Kansas or something?
Oh, this nice gentleman wasprobably trying to tie my shoes.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I'll tell you who it is after.
Oh my Lord, but his shoes endedup getting stolen, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Duh yeah, duh yeah.
What a nice gentleman.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Yeah, yeah, the guy's helping me out.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
All right.
Well, the big question, as theworld continues to spiral out of
control, is it all a simulation?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
In a way, it would be very comforting to know that it
was, wouldn't it?
But this is, of course, the newtheism.
In many ways, people have beentrying to figure out why are we
here?
What's the point?
Some people said Zeus, somepeople say hey, zeus.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Some people say no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And some people say it is all a simulation.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
According to Melvin Vopson, but you can trust him.
His name is Melvin Vopson,vopson Vopson.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Sick hey, but you can trust him.
His name is Melvin VopsonVopson, vopson.
Sick hey, where's Vopson at?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Vopson, get in here, we've got a ghost for you to
bust.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Vopson's on the job.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
He's an associate professor in physics, so he's a
real nerd, real smart guy.
Physics difficult.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
He's at the University of thing that's
keeping us down, fucking gravity.
You keep me down one moregoddamn time.
You know, the only thing Ican't keep down is that.
Michael Jordan Cheeto.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It does look like a bit of a bulbous erection,
doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yes, Yummy, yes, yes, I've seen erections.
I'm losing weight.
I can almost see my balls.
Yay.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Thanks for all the encouragement.
You're welcome.
Yes, yes, yes, can we zoom?
Yeah, you can Wow, I'm goingnuts.
So he says gravity is a signthat we are living in a virtual
simulation and that the universeis quote the ultimate computer.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
The universe is the ultimate computer.
Quote the ultimate computer.
The universe is the ultimatecomputer.
Is the ultimate computer, ohwow.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yes, and he is so convinced by this.
You know what he did?
What he published a paper.
Oh, wow.
And that's like when you'relike, oh, I'm really angry, and
then you go and you shoot up awhole school.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
That's the equivalent of a professor being like I'm
really smart and I'm on tosomething.
Yeah, they publish papers.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Dissertations.
Dissertations because they'reall smart.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yes, and they don't like to see blood.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
This is my official final thought.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Vobson proposes the idea that gravity isn't just a
pull Uh-huh.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
He says it's something that occurs in the
universe and it's trying to keepall of the data organized oh so
gravity is trying to keep dataorganized.
Okay, he says this because itforces objects with mass to be
pulled towards the earth's core,like an apple core right
(33:00):
earth's core.
Okay, like an apple core Right.
Like the Earth's core.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
It's all hot and stuff right, right, damn girls,
that's just some data in yourgenes.
Yeah, are you just happy to seeme?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I just feel like he's like breaking us all down to be
like a bunch of ones and zeros.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Ones and zeros, like the Matrix.
Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
So that's similar to how computers compress code.
So computers compress codealmost like gravity compresses
data.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
This guy seems kind of dumb.
No, he's not.
He published a fucking paper,kyle Kyle, like he created a
high thought.
That's like compression iscompressing and gravity is
compressing.
It's the same thing.
No, that's when.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Jared Leto gets a hold of it so he can bang one of
his 14-year-old women in whitedresses.
Anybody want to touch my taintnow?
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
God, I'll touch your fucking taint.
I always call it the flyovercountry of the human body.
What, yes?
Well, I used to talk about howpeople take off from the anus
and go right to the cock and theballs, but sometimes it does, I
don't.
Wisconsin.
I was looking at farmhouses inWisconsin but I don't know how
(34:05):
to self-sustain at all.
Fertilizer.
I'm totally fucking useless,yeah.
So in the paper he saysgravitational pull is, quote an
example of data compression andcomputational optimization in
our universe.
Oh my God, computationaloptimization in our universe.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Which supports the possibility of a simulated or
computational universe.
Did you fucking get that?
No, no.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
You guys stupid, I tuned out.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
You're stupid?
Well, there's more.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
So what's the unzipping of the what's?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
the fucking unzipping .
Yes, what are you?
The guy on the subway trying tobang the dead man?
Hell yeah brother.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
If there's a compressed file, you need to
unzip it.
So is that just like?
Cum is just the unzipping ofdata, not?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
everything is about cum, you idiot Kyle.
Hey, every time I watch SouthPark I just think of Kyle, kyle.
And then I'm like, oh my god,I'm moving out of my Cartman.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm movingout of my Cartman.
I'm always a mix betweenCartman and butters, and I'm
getting slightly more butteryagain.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
That's hilarious.
I like Cartman yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Anyway, he says, the universe evolves in a way that
the information content in it iscompressed, optimized and
organized.
Get it, yeah, just as computersand computer code do, hence he
said the word, hence Hencecomputer code do, hence he said
the word, hence, henceforth,therefore, to Henceforth,
therefore, to here, to with hereto with Hence.
(35:29):
Gravity appears to be anotherprocess of data compression in a
possibly simulated universe.
Jerry, your eyes are bleedingbecause you are not up.
You don't even know right nowwhat's going on.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's not stupid.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It was a published paper by a guy named Vopson.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
So is that why old people wear compression socks?
Because the blood clots arejust bits of data that they need
to be suppressed and compressed.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
They're being pulled down to Earth's core.
We're all just files waiting tobe unzipped.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
We are files waiting to be unzipped.
That's close.
That's close.
The gravitational attractionhelps reduce quote information
entropy, information entropy,information, entropy.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Now this sounds like a Grimes song.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
It really does.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I can't believe she was fucking Elon for so long.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I can, it was so weird.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yeah, she is kind of weird.
She's a little strange, though.
He said he wants to have ahundred babies.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
He's on his way?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
So information entropy.
It essentially means how muchinformation there is in an
object in any given space, likea file, Right?
So that's it.
That's what the study says.
Yeah, so gravity plays manyroles in space, including
building of galaxies.
Hey, wake up.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I want to go outside and play with my friends.
You don't have any friends.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
You don't have any friends Putting planets into
orbit around stars andinfluencing the motion in nearby
objects.
So Vopson's theory is theseobjects may be pulled together
because the universe.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
The university of the universe.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The universe is simply trying to keep everything
clean and compressed, becausethe universe is type A and the
universe is like do you turn thelight off?
And it's like who the fuckgives a shit?
Technically, if you leave it on, it's less energy wasted than
if you keep on turning it on andoff.
That's what I heard, Is it?
That's what I heard I did.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Is it?
That's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I did.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Why did he just?
You said that like you have apiece of hay in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yeah, that's what they do say, though they say if
you just keep on flipping it onand off, you're going to waste
more energy.
That's why, if you turn yourcar off when you turn it on,
you're going to waste more.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Well, if flipping it on and off like constantly, it's
not an air conditioner, becauseI get how you could leave the
air conditioner on on likeenergy saving mode and then it
just doesn't.
You don't have to likeregenerate it, like turn it,
doesn't have to start running upagain all of the time because
that takes up a lot of energy.
But what in the lights has to?
You know what makes it wasteenergy.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
If I'm just flicking up switch, it's just got a lot
of work to do's just got a lotof work to do.
It's got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I just don't.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
So he goes on to say and this is what he told the
Daily Mail a reputable onlinepublication.
He says to put it simply, it iseasier to compute all the
properties and characteristicsof a single object in space
rather than multiple objects.
That is why objects in spaceare pulled together, because the
(38:27):
universe is like, oh my God, Ican't keep everything organized.
And then all of a sudden it'slike, wow, look at my new
trapper keeper.
And then the trapper keeper iswhere he puts all the, where the
universe puts all the shit, allthe planets and stuff, and then
he seals that in the FrankTrapper Keeper that has a fun
little image on it, and theneverything is organized and then
(38:49):
he passes the class.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Interesting.
Leave it up to a physicsprofessor to just turn all of
the universe into a goddamnExcel spreadsheet.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Well, that kind of is what it is.
I do my near-death experiencessearches on youtube, uh-huh.
So I always like to know what'snext, because I always like to
be prepared.
I hate surprises.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I hate surprise birthday parties you know, I
just don't trust people.
I do not like surprises.
No, someone says I have asurprise for you.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I'm like don't don't, don't even fucking think about
it.
I don't want to know.
Bring it back it's fun, it'slike it's not gonna be fun, no
no, um.
So I like to know what's next,and a lot of people say they saw
it and it is.
It is a lot of numbers and itis a lot of, you know, matrixy
type stuff no way yeah and thenthey come back and they're like
(39:33):
I'm not even afraid of deathanymore, but then they have to
keep on living yeah, so becausethey're afraid to die they're
not afraid to die.
That's the thing most peoplethat have near-death experiences
are like I'm excited to getback there.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
So then do it then no .
Speaker 1 (39:46):
You have to wait.
That's the punishment forwhatever the fuck we did
somewhere.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah, exactly.
We're going to put you on Earthand it'll be the time of Reddit
.
Oh God so yes, yes, virginityonline.
So he explained this in a piececalled the Conversation.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
How is it a conversation, because?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
he's trying to get laid.
He's still a professor.
He's trying to bang co-eds.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
He's the only one that's talking.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, he's talking at us.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well, he's so smart, so he said a super complex
universe like ours, if it were asimulation, would require a
built-in data optimization andcompression in order to reduce
the computational power and thedata storage requirements to run
(40:36):
the simulation.
So you get that?
No, sure, you don't get thatSuper complex universe, built-in
data optimization.
Right, right, right.
He's talking about just makingshit smaller.
Yeah yeah, compressing, it'sall just about organization.
I think this guy probably has.
You know what's that thingagain that you get where it's
like.
I circle my car five times.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
OCD.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
OCD.
There it is.
He's got a universe OCD.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah well, the universe might have OCD.
Yeah, I would actually explainit.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Yeah, I think that's probably the way to explain it.
I think this whole article isjust him saying like oh, the
universe is OCD.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
That's why we're all like, pushed together in small
pockets.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
The universe is like don't bother me, I'm watching
Love on the Spectrum.
Yeah, I just really relate tosome of the characters.
Me too, I do like that.
That show is making everyoneautistic.
Oh my God.
Yeah, because every singleperson is like I'm kind of like
Anthony.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah, it's kind of like never realized all this
tism in me.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah.
And then there's the one guywho's just like super nice, yeah
, and everyone's like, oh, welove him, and it's like you know
well.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
He's very hyper though.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, he's all hyper and fucking whatever, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I like dinosaurs.
What do you like?
I like dinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I like dinosaurs.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Dinosaurs are kind of the shit.
All right, take note, I havedinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
I also saw on Instagram.
They never existed, so.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Oh, my God, that's what somebody said.
Speaking of simulations, do youever watch dinosaur simulation
fights on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (41:53):
No, no that you are autistic if you watch this.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Yeah, that's the spectrum, I want it is actually
pretty fucking sick.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Who wins?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Let's watch fake dinosaurs fight each other.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yo, I do want to see dinosaurs fight each other.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Yeah, not to be like I'm this kind of nerd, but yeah,
I'm this kind of fucking nerd,it's fun.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Oh my God, I actually think the pterodactyl would do
some massive damage, clawingeveryone flying.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
I'm going to put some on later.
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
So he goes on to say this is exactly what we're
observing all around us,including in digital data,
biological systems, mathematicalsymmetries and the entire
universe.
Vopson's focused on gravityrather than biological systems.
Vopson's explained in astatement let's see if you guys
(42:41):
can figure this out, okay.
He says my findings in thisstudy fit with the thought that
the universe might work like agiant computer, or our reality
is a simulated construct.
Just like computers try to savespace and run more efficiently,
the universe might be doing thesame.
(43:01):
It's a new way to think aboutgravity, not just as pull, but
as something that happens whenthe universe is trying to stay
organized.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Well the universe, you're a mess girl.
You need to get it together.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, there is a lot of stuff floating around.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, no, there's garbage everywhere.
I know the water is dirty.
Some planets don't even havewater.
What's up with that?
What's?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
up with that.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
No sustainable life in most of the rocks that you
have going on.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Stupid.
Yeah, you've got a bunch ofrocks universe.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Yeah, come on seriously.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Hey, have you seen my rock collection?
Right?
Yeah, here's my fucking giant.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Nerd.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That's what Gayle King was like after her perhaps
fake space flight?
It'll be great.
We'll throw a bunch of trash uphere, oh boy.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
We're going to throw a bunch of trash up in space.
I'm going to take off all myclothes and take a shit in space
.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Oh my.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
God.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
That would be cool to poop in space, and then let it
just drift off into the therehas to be some stories of that
happening.
Yeah, I would want.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
Put your ass at the fucking seal, fucking, shoot it
out.
Well, it has to be.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I mean, but it has to be really, really protected,
right, because you can't let theno gravity in, no, so you take
shit and then you close one door, but then the shit moves over
to another door and then thatdoor closes like prison doors.
You close the back one so thatthe front one can open, and then
it just floats off into spaceand you're like wow.
I have a poop floating in space.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh, that would be amazing.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
That'd be kind of cool to know.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I mean technically it could go and cause, it could
start life on another planet.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Oh my god, yeah, it could or it could take life from
this planet and just fuckingfalls and hits someone right in
the forehead.
The old Dave Matthews approach.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Which I love.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Astronaut waste, including feces and urine, has
been released into space.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Damn Right on.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
It's typically collected in garbage bags and
sealed containers and thenreleased.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, so they do just release it.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah, I guess.
Why would they waste all ofthat plastic nonsense?
Why don't they just literallyjust let it go?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Well, they say it burns up in Earth's atmosphere
on the way in.
So if you see a shooting starand you're like, oh, I should
wish for something on mybirthday, it's really just
astronaut shit.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
And that's beautiful yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Reminds me of that movie, joe Dirt, when he thought
he had a bunch of meteorite.
But it's just a big chunk offrozen human shit.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Life's a garden, dig it.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Dig it Well.
Anyway, we're living in asimulation, so don't take
anything too seriously.
Don't go shooting up anybody oranything like that.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Yeah, but just I actually think that's very
comforting to know that we haveno free will.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Well, we have some free will.
We have some free will LikeI've been doing.
Good, no boozies.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Oh, that's true.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
No boozies two weeks.
But it was simulated that way.
If it was simulated, please,god, simulate it for the rest of
my life.
Yeah, good Lord, almighty.
And also congratulations toeveryone who's doing the 30-day
challenge with me.
I might continue because Ihaven't missed a beat.
No, Honestly, I'm taking myeddies, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
You look fantastic.
I think I'm losing weight.
You're glowing like the sun,kid.
Oh, I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
All right, let's go to the comments before we wrap
up the Monday episode.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Chris is discussing the actual act of shitting in
space and said it would suckright out, no wipe needed.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
No wipe needed, definitely not All of the little
particles.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Just flickers away Poopparticles in space, space, space
.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Panoman is saying.
I feel like at this point, aiis about as accurate as our
dreams.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
So, if our dreams are a simulation, that makes sense,
well, and that's an episode, orthat's a topic for tomorrow.
Ai could destroy the justicesystem as we know it, but we'll
talk about that tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Jeff is saying he feels targeted.
They made him wear acompression sock for his blood
clots.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
I had a blood clot.
I had to wear a compressionsock as well.
See, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Trying to hold in your data.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Yeah, trying to hold in your data, hold in your blood
clot so it doesn't go to yourlungs and you die.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
And then Chris lastly said hey, baby, are you a file?
Because I'm trying to unzip you.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Wow.
Well, there we go.
A little sexual tinge at theend.
Okay, everyone, thank you somuch for listening to this
episode.
Go, rate and review and you cango to the podcast app and rate.
Give it five stars if you thinkso, and then be like, oh, we
love this show because that'llbe very nice.
And then be like, oh, we lovethis show because that'll be
very nice.
Yes, and then go to Spotify andbe like, oh, we love this show
(47:22):
because that'll be nice, andleave some comments and we're
going to keep on growing andgrowing and growing, just like
space Boom boom, boom, boom,just like space.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Ever expanding.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
In a simulation.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Hail yourselves, everyone.
We'll talk to you soon, bye,bye.
Wait, what Whoa Um alright.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Ah, I just fell in love, oh nice, well, whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Isn't that nice.
Who the hell is that?
Hey, what's up everyone.
Welcome to OK Bud, the podcastwhere everything's gonna be OK
Bud.
I am Ben Kissel hanging outwith Jerry Akito.
Hello, at Miss underscore,jerry, that's J-E-R-I-I.
(00:31):
I am also at Ben Kissel 1 withKyle Plouffe.
I'm going to fight and die forthis podcast.
At Kyle Plouffe, acting likethe offensive lineman that the
New England Patriots drafted,who said he wants to die on that
field, and he very well might.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
New England Patriots drafted.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
He said he wants to die on that field and he very
well might Wow, he really didsay that, huh, he did, wouldn't
that be exciting, it was awesome.
No, all right, check out ourPatreon patreoncom.
Slash diebud.
Also, shoot us an email,okbudpod at gmailcom.
Let us know your thoughts.
Send us some love Pictures ofdogs, animals, cats, recipes,
which we did get one, and it'svery long.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
What did we get?
What's the recipe for you wantthe recipe?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Let's see I can check it out.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I mean, what are we cooking?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I think, it was like a bacon and eggs pie or
something Bacon and eggs pie,bacon and eggs pie, something
like that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'll find it that sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's dog pictures and pie recipe.
Yes, the pie is A lot to do.
It's a full page.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Oh damn, this is a whole Saturday off.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So thank you, shane.
So much for sending that over.
It's a quiche Quiche.
Oh it's a quiche Technically.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Filed under quiche.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I feel like quiche is just the fancy neighbor of the
pie that comes over with aBritish accent.
And you're like.
You're just like us.
You live in the same freakinghouse, todd.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You ain't better than us.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No, just because you got an accent.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Well, speaking of better, we have three updates,
and then we're going to talkabout if we're living in a
simulation or not.
Ooh Duh, yeah, duh Duh.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Remember that.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Duh, cheetos, cheetos .
Not all Cheetos are shaped thesame.
Some are shaped like MichaelJordan.
Some are shaped like MichaelJordan.
Some are shaped like the iconicJumpman logo.
Take a look at that hot Cheeto.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
That is very true.
What a butt on that Cheeto.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The Cheeto has a fantastic butt.
It's been working out.
Hopefully it's natty.
Yeah yeah, we don't know.
This sold for over $8,000.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Ooh, why?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Because it's cool.
So there were 32 bids.
The price started at $250, andit ended at $8,113.
The final bidder got athree-inch long Cheeto.
Hello ladies, hey, Hello ladies.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Covered in cheese.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
No, that sounds about right.
You know, in some cultures it'sabove average.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
It's enough to fill you up.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
We don't really need that much.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It should have some tang on it, maybe if you didn't
eat so much, maybe it would be,enough to fill you up, Maybe if
you didn't eat so much.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So it's bite-sized and now it is worth $8,000, and
I guess you're not going to eatit.
It's probably all crusty andgross.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I really want some, whoever bought it.
I really want them to have likean idiot kid who just opens it
and eats it.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I really honestly think that's what they deserve.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, that'd be so funny.
They'll be like, yeah, mom,what's up?
They'll be like, no, don'ttouch that.
They're like what?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, you ate my special Cheeto Shut, special
cheeto.
You listen to this guy.
You imagine that specialcheetos it also goes with toys.
I'm sorry if you're a man andyou're in your 40s and there's a
toddler around and he playswith your star wars figurine.
Yeah, and you're like no, thatwas han solo, that's an
exclusive it's just what it'sgonna be, because it's for
(03:37):
children and we can't lose sightof that.
Yeah, it is for the kids andrarely do I side with the child.
I'm usually like punt them, dowhatever you got to do with them
.
So true, but it's a toy thekid's not like.
What's the resale value on that, that's?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
hilarious.
They don't care yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I mean, I'm looking at the toys in front of us right
now, I was going to say we havea little set, we have our
little toys here.
I have a bunch of toys in myhouse, but when, caden, your
child, becomes of age where hewants to play with toys unless
he fucks with my Wolfman whichis that's actually a collectible
.
Well, yeah Now you're startingto sound like the guy you hate.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Exactly what you were just making fun of like two
seconds ago.
You can play with it.
Not the Wolfman, it's theWolfman.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
It's actually an iconic toy from the 60s that I
paid top dollar for that's right, someone paid top dollar for
this Cheeto.
Someone paid top dollar for theCheeto Moving on.
In a serious news we coveredthis woman from RuPaul's Drag
Race.
Oh my God, jiggly Caliente.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Jiggly Caliente.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
They lost a leg and we're like, okay, what's their
stripper or what's their dragname going to be?
Eileen?
You know just funny stuff.
Wow, get it.
Wow, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Sponsored by IHOP.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, whatever.
Oh, my God.
You know, You're all on thefast track train to hell is much
more serious.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
She died yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's insane.
I had no like, no one knew itwas going to be like that.
No, no.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I didn't realize either when I was looking up
more stuff about I was lookingup more stuff up about her, and
she was named Jiggly afterJigglypuff the Pokemon.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's correct, yeah, yeah yeah, it's like even more
as long as she didn't die fromdiabetes, which I don't believe
she did.
She had an infection, we talkedabout it.
She had to get her legamputated, and so we're like
okay, you know, she can make itwork.
She got a bionic leg.
She's going to be out theretwerking.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Having a good time.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I guess it was far more freaking serious.
Yeah, they probably didn't stopit.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
And I'd still.
Yeah, and I was like you justcut off my leg right before I'm
dying.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Right, I'm going into heaven, not full.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Oh my god, do you think you just go to the
afterlife with however manylimbs you like lay to rest in?
That's pretty fucked up.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Where's my ghost leg?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, literally, you have to have the will to
Kyle's point.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
They do say, oh, I have a ghost.
I'm a ghost like you feel ityeah, I think there's something
there yeah, I think there's alittle so when you die and you
don't need this fucking meatcasket that we're all forced to
be born into yeah, I think youget your leg back.
I don't even think you thinkabout it, because you're just an
entity and you just kind offloating and legs are just like
so mundane and stupid.
You're like who needs legs?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
yes, actually I am energy, exactly so.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Jiggly Caliente is energy somewhere in the world
dancing, hopefully avoidingwhatever Katy Perry's new show
is.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
God, because it looks very funny Dress in peace.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It is so, so sad.
Drag queens and trans womenalways have a really short life
expectancy because of how much,like because of all the hate
crimes that they go through Hatecrime.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
hate crime hate crime .
Speaker 2 (06:45):
But so it was like really scary when she like went
through this, but and she stillpassed away young and it was not
even from anything like violentyeah, no, jiggly can't caliente
.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So she was trans.
Yes is, and this wascontroversial at one point for
the drag community because youwere.
You were supposed to be a guydressed as a gal into his drag,
but she was a trans gal dressedas a gal.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
That's what I was going to ask, because I didn't
want to be accused of being abigot, because I didn't know
Whoa, God forbid.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I want to learn.
You're a bigot.
I want to learn.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
So this is a trans woman taking away a straight
man's job, apparently.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Or a gay man's job, or a it's a gay man's job.
It's a gay man's job there wasone straight man on RuPaul's
Drag Race.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
There was a straight man in full drag.
What's his name?
His name is Matty Morphosis.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We exist.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
It's a completely straight man, but he goes full
drag, has girlfriends and he'sactually pretty funny.
He has a show on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Completely straight Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
But anyway, the point is that drag is an art form and
so a lot of men willcross-dress and then, going
through the performances of itall, then they realize, oh, I
feel like this is really me.
And then they go through thattransformation where, like, well
, I'm a trans woman, but drag isstill an art form that I want
to partake in.
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, Jiggly Caliente , a statement was made and it is
sad.
Well, Jiggly Caliente, astatement was made and it is sad
.
It says with profound sorrowthat we announce the passing of
Bianca Castro Arribo, known tothe world as the chair and
cherished by many as JigglyCaliente.
Bianca passed away peacefullyApril 27th at 4.42 am,
(08:20):
surrounded by her family andfriends.
Rip.
Wow, how quickly that turned.
Friends.
Rip Wow, how quickly thatturned around.
Seriously, yeah, man, you hearabout these infections, like the
brain worm that RFK Jr had.
I read something where a personwas swimming and a piece of
face went into their nose andthey got a brain disease and
(08:40):
then it ate their entire brainand then their entire head was
full of nothing but water andair and they died.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
All weird there are worms that wait in the in the
water and they wait for you topee and they will follow the
heat trail of the pee coming outand go right through your pp a
little.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Do they know?
I'm waiting for it.
I get them.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I get a little welcome sign I just thought, god
, I hated that.
He held his finger and was likeacting like the worm going
through the penis and it feltvery visceral.
I hated it so much.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, well, that's another update.
So many updates today.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
There's so many updates.
Things have been moving alongin this here earth.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Moving is one way to describe what we saw when it
comes to the sperm race.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh my God, the sperm race.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
That was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
We all knew who was going to take that crown.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This was absolutely insane.
It was really.
Do we want to?
Let's play the sound here.
Can you get the sound?
I'll send it to you.
Well, it's already, it's in ourgroup chat on OK Bud, ok, ok,
ok, bud, ok Bud.
And we got to play the Soundbecause it is freaking hilarious
(09:46):
and I want to be a commentatorfor this and if they're hiring
please.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, the commentators did kind of suck,
but they were all college kids,of course.
Yeah, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Marv Elbert isn't doing this.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah right, it was just really they were funny.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Let's give some play by play.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Did you see the opening racers?
Yeah's, give some play-by-play.
Did you see the opening racers?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, there were some pre-cum.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
There really was yeah .
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That one was also a landslide win.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yes, one person.
Spunk was just head andshoulders.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, just the Asian kid.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Was it the Asian kid it?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
was the Asian kid, and then he just went up and was
like, yeah, I didn't know thatmy boys did things like that,
but that's what's up.
But now did they get rid of thegood spunk too early?
Hopefully.
All right, here we go, thedumbest.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It is crazy how clear it is.
The Asian kid sperm just goesright out of the gate, usain.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Bolt.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's so crazy.
They have these different zoomlenses on all the parts of the
track.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
It's insane that there's a track that we're
watching with sperms racing.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I never really thought that sperm were real
until now.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
This was not on my 2025 bingo card.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I'll tell you what Every one of that dude's sperm
beat all of the other dude'ssperm.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But that was just race one.
Race two the white kid whoopedass and why are they feeling
Okay?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
did anyone see that?
They're also in these littleglass cases?
Where they get splurged withsplooge.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Like they're on Nickelodeon back in the 90s.
Yeah, they got gacked.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
God.
So that's the future.
The future is now and spermracing is big.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Wait, but where was the main event race?
Because that was the openingone, right?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That was the main event.
That was the last one.
That was the main event.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh wow.
So yeah, either your boys run.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I mean the shitty main event.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, either the boys run or they don't walk.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yep, that's it, total blowout.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Total blowout, yeah, total blowout.
Come on guys.
Yeah, how to train your cum.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Seriously.
Well actually, I mean, wouldn'tyou want to slow it down as a
young person?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Why Would you want to erase it?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
But you know to procreate for procreating
reasons.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
You want to slow down the cum.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, wouldn't you want to train it to be like all
right, there's the uterus door,you look at it and then you turn
around and you walk back, likeyou know.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
So they don't Well, but the point you want them to
moonwalk.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Sure, what the fuck?
What are you?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Come on, you're like walk it back and then you'll be
like Walk it back.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
She's talking about self-deportation.
There's an app for that now.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, yeah, it's breakfast time.
They should try a quiche.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Absolutely Picking an egg quiche.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
All right and just.
Lastly, in our update and thisis freaking crazy We've been
covering the Virginia Gouffredrama the past few weeks.
Obviously, she said she was ina car accident involving a bus
where she was hit.
She had four days to live.
She wants to see her children.
She's in Australia all alone.
She has died via suicide, andyou guys can put the air quotes
(13:14):
up if you want to.
That is the official response.
Now a lawyer for VirginiaGufray says we've got big
question marks all over it.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I will say people are like.
She said she wasn't suicidal inthis tweet.
That tweet was from 2019 and alot can change in six years.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Before she lost her kids.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Before she lost her children and before life comes
at you hard.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, and it already did before that, lest we forget.
Like she's been through theringer this one, I feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So the lawyer says we've got big questions
regarding it.
Carrie Loudon claimed the41-year-old mother had shown no
signs that she wanted to harmherself before she was found
dead in the Western Australiafarm where she was living.
She says when I got the phonecall I was like are you joking?
That's not a funny joke.
(14:06):
Yeah, hey, virginia Goofrey'sdead.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Whoa Are you joking?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Are you joking?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I know how you usually say Virginia Goofrey's
dead when you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It's kind of funny.
What's the punchline?
So she says because there wasno sign that it was something
she was considering.
Loudon she represented agoofray since January.
She expressed skepticism overthe announcement that has
(14:35):
shocked the world.
Loudon says there's suicide andthen there's misadventure.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
What Suicide or misadventure, yeah, what?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Suicide or misadventure.
Well, misadventure is like whenyou're choking yourself while
you jerk it off, and then that'show you die.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
How did you know that so quickly?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Because we've covered it on Death and Entertainment.
Oh yeah, I'm sure you're allover it.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Cody, yes, I'm sure you're all over misadventuring,
he knows.
He knows it's also a great namefor a drag queen Misadventure,
Misadventure so they say.
I didn't see her in the room.
I wasn't in there.
The family said what the familyhas said, but I'm not going to
speculate on whether it wassuicidal or whether it was
suicide or accidental.
(15:18):
So it came weeks again aftershe said that she only had four
days to live after being hit bya bus.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But that was a rough time too, like looking at what
happened.
She lied about this thing,about how severe it was.
And then she got attacked byall the parents.
Being like girl, it was nowherenear that bad.
It was a fender bender, andthen she got to receive like
some onslaught and who knows,maybe it all built up.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
I think there was a lot of things building up here.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
There was a lot you didn't see her children.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
She was going through a divorce.
Yeah, the media attention, somepositive, some negative.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Yeah, I don't know exactly what her.
Do you know if she wastrafficked, grabbed and
kidnapped, or if she was justcoaxed in and she thought she
was friends with everybody andthen was in too deep?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I think it was a coaxing from my understanding.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because that could take so long to become to feel
like an actual trauma to you,like you were just like oh, we
were all friends.
And then years later you'relike wait a second, I was
completely fucked over, this wasfun.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I know the feeling.
So her lawyer says she was in alot of pain, but she was
looking forward to things in thefuture, to things in the future
.
They say she wanted to renovatethis house and all sorts of
things like that, although houserenovation is a nightmare and I
think I would rather die thando it.
Oh my God, yeah, I hate itbecause it's not like Chip and
Jojo from Fixer Upper coming inand they're like shiplap and
(16:37):
it's over in 28 minutes.
It takes like fucking months oryears and then everything's
awful and then you're in a moneypit and then you're sad, wow,
okay.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well, I mean, my parents are working on their
bathroom right now, oh, but it'sbeen more like a two-week
debacle, and every time I callthem they're like, oh God, we
just have to keep working onthis bathroom.
But they sound funny becauseit's going to be a really nice
bathroom.
Oh, that'll be nice.
Probably something like that.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Do they still have romance in their life?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, they do.
Their bathroom is huge.
You could rent it out for like$2,000 a month out here in LA.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
That's great.
I love your family'srelationship.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
So she says.
This is according to thestatement.
They say she lost her life tosuicide after being a lifelong
victim of sexual abuse and sextrafficking.
She was the light that liftedso many survivors.
Despite all the adversity shefaced in her life, she shone so
bright.
She will be missed beyondmeasure.
So what a bizarre conclusion tothe Virginia Gouffre story.
(17:39):
Her life, and many people aresaying this, is the third victim
, as far as death goes, ofJeffrey Epstein.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So, my God, Crazy, yeah, what a crazy.
Rest in peace.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Rest in peace.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's all over now, man.
She definitely had some trials,she had to be fucked.
It was a long road, yep,nowhere.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
She really did All.
Right.
Well, let's go on to a coupleof small stories before we ask
are we, it was a long road?
Yep, nowhere, she really didAll right?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Well, let's go on to a couple of small stories before
we ask are we living in?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
a simulation Lation, lation, lation.
Yes, a woman, and I'm actuallygoing to say I have empathy for
this woman.
So it was a Southwest Airlineflight from Philly to Chicago.
Yes, I actually do, right, itwas a Southwest airline flight
from.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Philly to Chicago Actually.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yes, I actually do Right.
It was a Southwest airlineflight from Philadelphia to
Chicago and there was a womanand she got all upset and then
she took off all of her clothes.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
And then she started going down the aisles of the
Southwest airline flight.
Then she went back to her seatand then she took a big dump on
her seat.
What?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
She took a shit to her seat and then she took a big
dump on her seat.
She took a, she took a shit onher seat, was she?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
like absolutely wasted.
Well, this is why I haveempathy, she said, as she was
walking around naked, taking adump on her seat.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm bipolar she was having an episode.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Oh, that sucks yes, so uh, the airline says our
teams are reaching out to thoseon board to apologize for the
situation and any delays totheir travel plans.
But come on, this is the joy oftravel.
Now you've got the story totell.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
when you land in Ireland, I mean, that's the kind
of story that you want,interrupting your flights?
Absolutely.
She lost her vine and got naked.
Was anyone hurt?
No, but it smelled really bad.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I mean the person that was sitting next to her,
taking that dump on the seat,just being like, oh my God, put
a seatbelt on it please.
I don't want this flying up inthe air.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
No, seriously.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Good God, almighty.
I also love it was a flightfrom Philly to Chicago, so the
accents are just going to befucking classic.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It also was a Short flight, short flight to deal
with that that's just like a fun, fun little experience.
Yeah, Not so much an ordeal butan experience.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
It was an experience and that's the show.
Yeah, that's the show, the shitpart.
It's a little GGL in airlines.
Yeah, yeah, but you know havefun with it.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Oh, you took a little toot there.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Oh, my fucking Chicago.
I knew they had deep dish, Ididn't know it was that deep.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So during the flight from Houston's William P Hobby
Airport to Phoenix on Monday, awoman stripped naked in front of
stunned passengers in aSouthwest Airline flight.
Stunned, stunned.
They were stunned, yes.
So initially they said it wasfrom Philly to Chicago.
I don't freaking know.
Either way, they're on agoddamn airplane.
And then everyone was all madand stuff.
(20:28):
And then she was arrested.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Wow.
I don't think nothing fun likethis ever happens on my flights.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah, there were probably some guys that were
really into it on that flightbeing like, yeah, take that shit
.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You think so?
Yeah, she just started losingher mind and some dudes were
like let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah, maybe I've been waiting for this, right.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Which is messed up if she was going through an
episode.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
but there was a lot of people tuning into that
episode.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Oh I see, I see that.
So this is actually so there'stwo different incidences here.
Oh so the other incident wasthe Houston to Phoenix flight,
where someone stripped naked andstarted running down the halls.
And then this flight was againfrom Philly to Chicago.
So it's happening, it's anepidemic, it's an epidemic.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I mean planes in the sky lately.
They're weird.
It's a weird time to be a plane.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I entrusted him.
I just read a follow-up articleon the airplane that was hit by
the helicopter going into theWashington airport and
apparently the helicopter theguy was like hey, you don't want
to do that.
But then the helicopter pilotwas like I don't care.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
She's like I think I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I think I know what I'm doing Enough mansplaining
here.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh my god, let's make it about gender.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Let's make it about gender and gender roles.
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Listen, sir.
You're the co-pilot Done.
No, you're not in the rightlane.
Lanes are a construct.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
So, as you can see here, the woman is butt-ass
naked.
She's kind of cute.
I mean, it's a lot of blur,there's a lot of blur there,
there's blur, there's blur.
But she does seem to have armsand a leg and a body that's good
.
So that's good.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
That that makes it a person.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It lasted about 25 minutes.
This was the William P HobbyAirport flight, so it lasted
about 25 minutes.
And then she said yeah, I'mbipolar, so that's why I'm
giving her a pass.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah, she ran up and down the aisle and then she
proceeded to make her waytowards the front of the plane
and then she started banging onthe cockpit doors asking to be
let in, and then she wasscreaming, and then everyone was
really scared.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
She's hitting the cockpit doors being like hurry
up, I got to shit.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Everyone's like don't worry, she's not armed, we can
see.
She's completely unarmed.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Oh, she's armed, she's disarmed now.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Discharged.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Both of the planes that involve separate incidences
were taken in for deep clean.
They got deep clean.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
By deep clean do you mean they just took that one
chair and threw it the fuck out?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, they don't do it, Just threw it out the chair.
They're like nah, just wipe itoff, it's good.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Clorox that bitch.
We're good.
We got another flight in 40minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Me too, it's gross.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh god, it's terrible .
Imagine being the next personWalking onto that plane and you
don't even know.
And then, you're like Huh, doesit smell weird in here?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Excuse, me Perchance.
Did someone shit in my seat,perchance?
Why do you ask Perchance?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Like the movie Clue, where they step in shit at the
beginning and they continuallysmell it throughout the film,
which is a great movie.
Check out the movie Clue.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Check it out.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
A hit film from the 1980s if you haven't seen it.
So be careful out there whenyou're flying.
You never know what's going tohappen.
And again, if you do have aneed for a mental breakdown,
maybe try to do it on land, butalso sometimes the Lord strikes
wherever.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
The Lord strikes wherever.
Hopefully you get the help youneed as far as meds to be able
to control these episodes whenyou're compromising places, such
as in the middle of the fuckingsky.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Yep.
I'm surprised the New York Posthasn't posted anything.
That's like South WasteAirlines.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Get me a job, New York Post.
Come posted anything that'slike South Waste Airlines.
Oh, Get me a job, New York Post.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Come on, yeah, for real, sleeping on the Cayetola.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I know a lot of people that work at the Kyle
Post.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
At the New York Post.
I'll start the Kyle Post.
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
It's like the same seven old dudes that make those
headlines.
They're like fucking sevenmonkeys typing.
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
It's incredible.
Lastly, in our small storiesthis is interesting A man has
been on the subway.
He has been arrested andcharged with rape.
What's interesting here is therape occurred on a dead body.
Oh, yeah, Okay so the guy'sname is Felix Rojas.
Yeah, so, okay.
So the guy's name is FelixRojas, 44 years, fun, and he
(24:49):
sexually violated a dead body onthe lower Manhattan subway
train, which no one seems to betalking about, like there's just
dead bodies on the train.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Not for nothing, I'm pretty sure I saw a dead body on
a train one time.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I think I've seen a bunch of them.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, no, seriously, like time I think I've seen a
bunch of them.
Yeah, no, seriously, like youreally like see bodies where
you're like I don't know thatguy doesn't look passed out that
guy looks fucking out.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, I saw someone on the street in the east
village.
It was cold outside and hewasn't.
He kind of looked like a frozenrat.
Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
No, it's fucking terrible I think there was like,
uh, it would be packed,everyone would be like going to
work and morning commute, andthen there's just like a dude,
like just completely plankedover in a chair and a bench it's
good to remember that nothingreally matters.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Yeah, you can just be dead on the subway whenever
yeah, and they're like I'mtrying to get to work yeah and
people step over you yeah,they're like I don't need to.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Can someone deal with this after I get off the train
at my stop?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
will that either of you sexually molest this dead
body that you saw?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
no, probably not well .
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's why you're different, felix Rojas.
He has been charged with rapenearly three weeks after he
allegedly assaulted the body ofa dead man.
This was on the R train at theWhitehall station, which is what
we've all been on.
The victim was a 37-year-olddude, Jorge Gonzalez.
He mysteriously died on thetrain and then Rojas saw him and
(26:04):
then he started doing crazythings to the guy's body.
Gonzalez boarded the subwayaround 8 pm, april 8th.
Then the suspect got on threehours later.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
So within that time he died.
And then it's a necrophiliac.
This guy the necrophiliac getson.
He performed an act on the deadman shortly after midnight and
then fled the train around 12.08am.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
So he was finished pretty quickly there.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I guess.
So it's not exactly clear whatGonzales died of, but his
estranged wife said he dealtwith alcoholism and cirrhosis so
he probably had a couple ofdrinks, a little buzzed up, got
on the train for the last time.
And then this guy.
I don't know what he did.
They say necrophiliac, so hemust have gotten all up in there
(27:01):
.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And it's midnight on the train there's still people.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Oh yeah, it's the R train.
It's very, very, verysuccessful as far as the trains
go.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Successful.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
It's a successful train.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
It successfully kills people.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
And in this case the R stands for a rapé.
Anyway, that was a strangestory that goes nowhere, and I
really don't know what else tosay about it, it goes directly
to jail.
It goes directly to jail.
So that's your Mondaynecrophiliac news, which is what
people come to this show for.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Maybe, no, maybe we shouldn't advertise it that way.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
No, I know we have to get our numbers up.
People Come on Word of mouth.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Word of mouth.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Go tell every dead corpse that you see on the
subway to listen.
Actually, just grab theirphones and download it on
Spotify.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So true, yeah, so true.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I bet this guy's going to be arguing that it's a
victimless crime, though,because he was dead.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well, that's kind of the interesting thing.
I get the brutality of a body,all that stuff, yeah, yeah all
that and that and stuff.
But is it?
I mean, I know this soundsweird, but is it what they're
saying?
It is.
Yeah, it's kind of Because theguy's dead.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
He can't give consent because he's dead.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
He can't give consent .
I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
It's just an interesting phrasing, because I
never really heard it phrasedthat way.
It's usually like did allfucked up shit with the body,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's yeah, it's never going
to be warranted if it's a deadbody.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
No, no, very, no very .
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Still disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It is disrespectful.
It's very disrespectful.
I will tell you what.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
That is disrespectful .
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You saw that body on the R train and you blew that.
Well, he must have gone in.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Well, yeah, he tried to figure out which angle he
took.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I don't know yeah no it looks like a nice train,
though it looks like they'veredone the R train.
Those look like the old Ltrains.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's a cozy seat and the guydoes seem to be passed away
upright.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
And you know the air conditioning in there is always
like blasting, so they probablycouldn't smell the dead body,
especially when it was likepretty fresh yeah, it could be
the guy is dead, but his his legis still crossed are you sure
that's him?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
it's all blurred.
I I don't.
Maybe it's what it might not be.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
We're just showing the killer right now, and then
that's just like a person okaythat might just be a person,
okay, well, if that guy was deadstanding up no I know that's
the molester yeah, this is thegraper oh you're thinking that's
just another guy, that's justlike a dude, that's just sitting
there.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
No one, you can't.
There's no way you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Drunkenly pass out with, like, your leg over your
knee, like that.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
That's how I sit on the train.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Is that how you fall asleep on the train?
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I tried not to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I've done it before what?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
are.
Are you going to do to me?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Roll me over, treat me like a surfboard.
I've woken up without a wallet.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, I've woken up on the train before Best ten
minutes of my life.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
A friend of ours was on a train a few months ago and
he woke up to a guy doing hisshoelaces.
He's like oh, this nice guy'sdoing my shoelaces for me
because they were undone.
And then he realized the guywas stealing his shoes.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, no shit.
Oh my God, why would the guy betying his shoes?
Because they're undone.
What is your friend?
Is he from Kansas or something?
Oh, this nice gentleman wasprobably trying to tie my shoes.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I'll tell you who it is after.
Oh my Lord, but his shoes endedup getting stolen, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Duh yeah, duh yeah.
What a nice gentleman.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Yeah, yeah, the guy's helping me out.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
All right.
Well, the big question, as theworld continues to spiral out of
control, is it all a simulation?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
In a way, it would be very comforting to know that it
was, wouldn't it?
But this is, of course, the newtheism.
In many ways, people have beentrying to figure out why are we
here?
What's the point?
Some people said Zeus, somepeople say hey, zeus.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Some people say no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And some people say it is all a simulation.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
According to Melvin Vopson, but you can trust him.
His name is Melvin Vopson,vopson Vopson.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Sick hey, but you can trust him.
His name is Melvin VopsonVopson, vopson.
Sick hey, where's Vopson at?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Vopson, get in here, we've got a ghost for you to
bust.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Vopson's on the job.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
He's an associate professor in physics, so he's a
real nerd, real smart guy.
Physics difficult.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
He's at the University of thing that's
keeping us down, fucking gravity.
You keep me down one moregoddamn time.
You know, the only thing Ican't keep down is that.
Michael Jordan Cheeto.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It does look like a bit of a bulbous erection,
doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yes, Yummy, yes, yes, I've seen erections.
I'm losing weight.
I can almost see my balls.
Yay.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Thanks for all the encouragement.
You're welcome.
Yes, yes, yes, can we zoom?
Yeah, you can Wow, I'm goingnuts.
So he says gravity is a signthat we are living in a virtual
simulation and that the universeis quote the ultimate computer.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
The universe is the ultimate computer.
Quote the ultimate computer.
The universe is the ultimatecomputer.
Is the ultimate computer, ohwow.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yes, and he is so convinced by this.
You know what he did?
What he published a paper.
Oh, wow.
And that's like when you'relike, oh, I'm really angry, and
then you go and you shoot up awhole school.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
That's the equivalent of a professor being like I'm
really smart and I'm on tosomething.
Yeah, they publish papers.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Dissertations.
Dissertations because they'reall smart.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yes, and they don't like to see blood.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
This is my official final thought.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Vobson proposes the idea that gravity isn't just a
pull Uh-huh.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
He says it's something that occurs in the
universe and it's trying to keepall of the data organized oh so
gravity is trying to keep dataorganized.
Okay, he says this because itforces objects with mass to be
pulled towards the earth's core,like an apple core right
(33:00):
earth's core.
Okay, like an apple core Right.
Like the Earth's core.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
It's all hot and stuff right, right, damn girls,
that's just some data in yourgenes.
Yeah, are you just happy to seeme?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I just feel like he's like breaking us all down to be
like a bunch of ones and zeros.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Ones and zeros, like the Matrix.
Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
So that's similar to how computers compress code.
So computers compress codealmost like gravity compresses
data.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
This guy seems kind of dumb.
No, he's not.
He published a fucking paper,kyle Kyle, like he created a
high thought.
That's like compression iscompressing and gravity is
compressing.
It's the same thing.
No, that's when.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Jared Leto gets a hold of it so he can bang one of
his 14-year-old women in whitedresses.
Anybody want to touch my taintnow?
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
God, I'll touch your fucking taint.
I always call it the flyovercountry of the human body.
What, yes?
Well, I used to talk about howpeople take off from the anus
and go right to the cock and theballs, but sometimes it does, I
don't.
Wisconsin.
I was looking at farmhouses inWisconsin but I don't know how
(34:05):
to self-sustain at all.
Fertilizer.
I'm totally fucking useless,yeah.
So in the paper he saysgravitational pull is, quote an
example of data compression andcomputational optimization in
our universe.
Oh my God, computationaloptimization in our universe.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Which supports the possibility of a simulated or
computational universe.
Did you fucking get that?
No, no.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
You guys stupid, I tuned out.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
You're stupid?
Well, there's more.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
So what's the unzipping of the what's?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
the fucking unzipping .
Yes, what are you?
The guy on the subway trying tobang the dead man?
Hell yeah brother.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
If there's a compressed file, you need to
unzip it.
So is that just like?
Cum is just the unzipping ofdata, not?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
everything is about cum, you idiot Kyle.
Hey, every time I watch SouthPark I just think of Kyle, kyle.
And then I'm like, oh my god,I'm moving out of my Cartman.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm movingout of my Cartman.
I'm always a mix betweenCartman and butters, and I'm
getting slightly more butteryagain.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
That's hilarious.
I like Cartman yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Anyway, he says, the universe evolves in a way that
the information content in it iscompressed, optimized and
organized.
Get it, yeah, just as computersand computer code do, hence he
said the word, hence Hencecomputer code do, hence he said
the word, hence, henceforth,therefore, to Henceforth,
therefore, to here, to with hereto with Hence.
(35:29):
Gravity appears to be anotherprocess of data compression in a
possibly simulated universe.
Jerry, your eyes are bleedingbecause you are not up.
You don't even know right nowwhat's going on.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's not stupid.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It was a published paper by a guy named Vopson.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
So is that why old people wear compression socks?
Because the blood clots arejust bits of data that they need
to be suppressed and compressed.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
They're being pulled down to Earth's core.
We're all just files waiting tobe unzipped.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
We are files waiting to be unzipped.
That's close.
That's close.
The gravitational attractionhelps reduce quote information
entropy, information entropy,information, entropy.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Now this sounds like a Grimes song.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
It really does.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I can't believe she was fucking Elon for so long.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I can, it was so weird.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yeah, she is kind of weird.
She's a little strange, though.
He said he wants to have ahundred babies.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
He's on his way?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
So information entropy.
It essentially means how muchinformation there is in an
object in any given space, likea file, Right?
So that's it.
That's what the study says.
Yeah, so gravity plays manyroles in space, including
building of galaxies.
Hey, wake up.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I want to go outside and play with my friends.
You don't have any friends.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
You don't have any friends Putting planets into
orbit around stars andinfluencing the motion in nearby
objects.
So Vopson's theory is theseobjects may be pulled together
because the universe.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
The university of the universe.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The universe is simply trying to keep everything
clean and compressed, becausethe universe is type A and the
universe is like do you turn thelight off?
And it's like who the fuckgives a shit?
Technically, if you leave it on, it's less energy wasted than
if you keep on turning it on andoff.
That's what I heard, Is it?
That's what I heard I did.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Is it?
That's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I did.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Why did he just?
You said that like you have apiece of hay in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yeah, that's what they do say, though they say if
you just keep on flipping it onand off, you're going to waste
more energy.
That's why, if you turn yourcar off when you turn it on,
you're going to waste more.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Well, if flipping it on and off like constantly, it's
not an air conditioner, becauseI get how you could leave the
air conditioner on on likeenergy saving mode and then it
just doesn't.
You don't have to likeregenerate it, like turn it,
doesn't have to start running upagain all of the time because
that takes up a lot of energy.
But what in the lights has to?
You know what makes it wasteenergy.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
If I'm just flicking up switch, it's just got a lot
of work to do's just got a lotof work to do.
It's got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I just don't.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
So he goes on to say and this is what he told the
Daily Mail a reputable onlinepublication.
He says to put it simply, it iseasier to compute all the
properties and characteristicsof a single object in space
rather than multiple objects.
That is why objects in spaceare pulled together, because the
(38:27):
universe is like, oh my God, Ican't keep everything organized.
And then all of a sudden it'slike, wow, look at my new
trapper keeper.
And then the trapper keeper iswhere he puts all the, where the
universe puts all the shit, allthe planets and stuff, and then
he seals that in the FrankTrapper Keeper that has a fun
little image on it, and theneverything is organized and then
(38:49):
he passes the class.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Interesting.
Leave it up to a physicsprofessor to just turn all of
the universe into a goddamnExcel spreadsheet.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Well, that kind of is what it is.
I do my near-death experiencessearches on youtube, uh-huh.
So I always like to know what'snext, because I always like to
be prepared.
I hate surprises.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I hate surprise birthday parties you know, I
just don't trust people.
I do not like surprises.
No, someone says I have asurprise for you.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I'm like don't don't, don't even fucking think about
it.
I don't want to know.
Bring it back it's fun, it'slike it's not gonna be fun, no
no, um.
So I like to know what's next,and a lot of people say they saw
it and it is.
It is a lot of numbers and itis a lot of, you know, matrixy
type stuff no way yeah and thenthey come back and they're like
(39:33):
I'm not even afraid of deathanymore, but then they have to
keep on living yeah, so becausethey're afraid to die they're
not afraid to die.
That's the thing most peoplethat have near-death experiences
are like I'm excited to getback there.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
So then do it then no .
Speaker 1 (39:46):
You have to wait.
That's the punishment forwhatever the fuck we did
somewhere.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah, exactly.
We're going to put you on Earthand it'll be the time of Reddit
.
Oh God so yes, yes, virginityonline.
So he explained this in a piececalled the Conversation.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
How is it a conversation, because?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
he's trying to get laid.
He's still a professor.
He's trying to bang co-eds.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
He's the only one that's talking.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, he's talking at us.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well, he's so smart, so he said a super complex
universe like ours, if it were asimulation, would require a
built-in data optimization andcompression in order to reduce
the computational power and thedata storage requirements to run
(40:36):
the simulation.
So you get that?
No, sure, you don't get thatSuper complex universe, built-in
data optimization.
Right, right, right.
He's talking about just makingshit smaller.
Yeah yeah, compressing, it'sall just about organization.
I think this guy probably has.
You know what's that thingagain that you get where it's
like.
I circle my car five times.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
OCD.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
OCD.
There it is.
He's got a universe OCD.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah well, the universe might have OCD.
Yeah, I would actually explainit.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Yeah, I think that's probably the way to explain it.
I think this whole article isjust him saying like oh, the
universe is OCD.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
That's why we're all like, pushed together in small
pockets.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
The universe is like don't bother me, I'm watching
Love on the Spectrum.
Yeah, I just really relate tosome of the characters.
Me too, I do like that.
That show is making everyoneautistic.
Oh my God.
Yeah, because every singleperson is like I'm kind of like
Anthony.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah, it's kind of like never realized all this
tism in me.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah.
And then there's the one guywho's just like super nice, yeah
, and everyone's like, oh, welove him, and it's like you know
well.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
He's very hyper though.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, he's all hyper and fucking whatever, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I like dinosaurs.
What do you like?
I like dinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I like dinosaurs.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Dinosaurs are kind of the shit.
All right, take note, I havedinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
I also saw on Instagram.
They never existed, so.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Oh, my God, that's what somebody said.
Speaking of simulations, do youever watch dinosaur simulation
fights on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (41:53):
No, no that you are autistic if you watch this.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Yeah, that's the spectrum, I want it is actually
pretty fucking sick.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Who wins?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Let's watch fake dinosaurs fight each other.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yo, I do want to see dinosaurs fight each other.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Yeah, not to be like I'm this kind of nerd, but yeah,
I'm this kind of fucking nerd,it's fun.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Oh my God, I actually think the pterodactyl would do
some massive damage, clawingeveryone flying.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
I'm going to put some on later.
I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
So he goes on to say this is exactly what we're
observing all around us,including in digital data,
biological systems, mathematicalsymmetries and the entire
universe.
Vopson's focused on gravityrather than biological systems.
Vopson's explained in astatement let's see if you guys
(42:41):
can figure this out, okay.
He says my findings in thisstudy fit with the thought that
the universe might work like agiant computer, or our reality
is a simulated construct.
Just like computers try to savespace and run more efficiently,
the universe might be doing thesame.
(43:01):
It's a new way to think aboutgravity, not just as pull, but
as something that happens whenthe universe is trying to stay
organized.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Well the universe, you're a mess girl.
You need to get it together.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, there is a lot of stuff floating around.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, no, there's garbage everywhere.
I know the water is dirty.
Some planets don't even havewater.
What's up with that?
What's?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
up with that.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
No sustainable life in most of the rocks that you
have going on.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Stupid.
Yeah, you've got a bunch ofrocks universe.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Yeah, come on seriously.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Hey, have you seen my rock collection?
Right?
Yeah, here's my fucking giant.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Nerd.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That's what Gayle King was like after her perhaps
fake space flight?
It'll be great.
We'll throw a bunch of trash uphere, oh boy.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
We're going to throw a bunch of trash up in space.
I'm going to take off all myclothes and take a shit in space
.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Oh my.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
God.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
That would be cool to poop in space, and then let it
just drift off into the therehas to be some stories of that
happening.
Yeah, I would want.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
Put your ass at the fucking seal, fucking, shoot it
out.
Well, it has to be.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I mean, but it has to be really, really protected,
right, because you can't let theno gravity in, no, so you take
shit and then you close one door, but then the shit moves over
to another door and then thatdoor closes like prison doors.
You close the back one so thatthe front one can open, and then
it just floats off into spaceand you're like wow.
I have a poop floating in space.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh, that would be amazing.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
That'd be kind of cool to know.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I mean technically it could go and cause, it could
start life on another planet.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Oh my god, yeah, it could or it could take life from
this planet and just fuckingfalls and hits someone right in
the forehead.
The old Dave Matthews approach.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Which I love.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Astronaut waste, including feces and urine, has
been released into space.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Damn Right on.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
It's typically collected in garbage bags and
sealed containers and thenreleased.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, so they do just release it.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah, I guess.
Why would they waste all ofthat plastic nonsense?
Why don't they just literallyjust let it go?
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Well, they say it burns up in Earth's atmosphere
on the way in.
So if you see a shooting starand you're like, oh, I should
wish for something on mybirthday, it's really just
astronaut shit.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
And that's beautiful yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Reminds me of that movie, joe Dirt, when he thought
he had a bunch of meteorite.
But it's just a big chunk offrozen human shit.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Life's a garden, dig it.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Dig it Well.
Anyway, we're living in asimulation, so don't take
anything too seriously.
Don't go shooting up anybody oranything like that.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Yeah, but just I actually think that's very
comforting to know that we haveno free will.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Well, we have some free will.
We have some free will LikeI've been doing.
Good, no boozies.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Oh, that's true.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
No boozies two weeks.
But it was simulated that way.
If it was simulated, please,god, simulate it for the rest of
my life.
Yeah, good Lord, almighty.
And also congratulations toeveryone who's doing the 30-day
challenge with me.
I might continue because Ihaven't missed a beat.
No, Honestly, I'm taking myeddies, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
You look fantastic.
I think I'm losing weight.
You're glowing like the sun,kid.
Oh, I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
All right, let's go to the comments before we wrap
up the Monday episode.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Chris is discussing the actual act of shitting in
space and said it would suckright out, no wipe needed.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
No wipe needed, definitely not All of the little
particles.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Just flickers away Poopparticles in space, space, space
.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Panoman is saying.
I feel like at this point, aiis about as accurate as our
dreams.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
So, if our dreams are a simulation, that makes sense,
well, and that's an episode, orthat's a topic for tomorrow.
Ai could destroy the justicesystem as we know it, but we'll
talk about that tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Jeff is saying he feels targeted.
They made him wear acompression sock for his blood
clots.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
I had a blood clot.
I had to wear a compressionsock as well.
See, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Trying to hold in your data.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Yeah, trying to hold in your data, hold in your blood
clot so it doesn't go to yourlungs and you die.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
And then Chris lastly said hey, baby, are you a file?
Because I'm trying to unzip you.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Wow.
Well, there we go.
A little sexual tinge at theend.
Okay, everyone, thank you somuch for listening to this
episode.
Go, rate and review and you cango to the podcast app and rate.
Give it five stars if you thinkso, and then be like, oh, we
love this show because that'llbe very nice.
And then be like, oh, we lovethis show because that'll be
very nice.
Yes, and then go to Spotify andbe like, oh, we love this show
(47:22):
because that'll be nice, andleave some comments and we're
going to keep on growing andgrowing and growing, just like
space Boom boom, boom, boom,just like space.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Ever expanding.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
In a simulation.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Hail yourselves, everyone.
We'll talk to you soon, bye,bye.
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