September 20, 2019 • 23 mins
On today’s episode, you’re going to learn how Christian and I are managing to raise old-fashioned kids in the modern technological world. How our we accomplishing this? Mostly by providing our kids with unstructured time. It turns out that allowing time for your children to be bored will actually increase their creativity. Who knew? Listen to find out why letting go of your kids is actually the best thing you could ever do as a parent.
Some highlights from the episode:
- How and why we limit screen time
- Why letting go helps your kids with problem solving
- Why giving kids responsibility helps them grow
If you're ready to begin this homesteading journey, head to http://www.theprairiehomestead.com/grow to access my full library of resources to guide you down the path.
OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR YOUR HOMESTEAD:
- Sign up for weekly musings from my homestead: http://theprairiehomestead.com/letter
- Get my free homesteading tutorials & recipes here: www.theprairiehomestead.com
- Jill on Instagram: @jill.winger
- Jill on Facebook: http://facebook.com/theprairiehomestead
- Apply to be a guest on the Old-Fashioned on Purpose podcast: https://www.theprairiehomestead.com/podcast-guest-application
Did you enjoy listening to this episode? Please drop a comment below or leave a review to let us know. This can help other folks learn about this podcast and we also really appreciate the feedback!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the old fashioned on purpose podcast.
Today's episode is all about howwe are raising our kids like
it's 1955 and we're going todive into how Christian and I
have kind of accidentallystumbled into raising pretty old
(00:21):
fashioned kids in this verymodern world.
Now this has actually been a bitof a hot topic when I have
shared these sentiments on myFacebook page and blog and it's
actually even stirred up a bitof controversy, believe it or
not.
So I'm excited to hear what youthink after you listen to this
(00:42):
episode.
I'm your host Jill winger, andfor the last 10 years I've been
helping people just like youlearn how to leave the rat race
and create the life you reallywant by growing your own food
and mastering old fashionedskills.
Okay, so before we dive intothis topic, I have to preface it
(01:05):
by saying I am not a mommyblogger and I'm about as far as
you can possibly be from theperson who is giving out advice
about parenting online.
That's just not me.
I don't have amazing birthdayparties for my children.
I don't make the cool snacks.
Our craft time consists of a boxof pipe cleaners and maybe a few
(01:30):
cotton balls in our schoolcabinet that they are welcome to
use of their own accord.
But I generally don't createcraft times for them.
So I am not the type of mom whousually has wonderful
revolutionary ideas on keepingyour children occupied.
That's just not me.
(01:51):
It's never been my space orreally what I have felt
qualified to share on.
However, recently, over the pastfew months, maybe even up to a
year, I have noticed that I'vehad some posts on my prairie
homestead Facebook page andInstagram pages that have
(02:12):
received more attention thanother posts, more comments, more
likes, more shares, and almostalways these posts are related
to my kids doing kind ofunorthodox activities for your
average child in 2019.
(02:34):
Now for some of you, thesearen't unorthodox at all because
these photos and posts on socialmedia that I've been sharing
show pictures of my childrenjumping off our manure pile,
playing with giant applianceboxes and turning it into rocket
ships and pretend log cabins.
And one that got the mostengagement was actually a photo
(02:58):
of three children, backpacks intow, traipsing out across our
pasture to have a picnic.
And that day it was a reallypretty summer afternoon.
They asked if I could pack themtuna fish sandwiches so they
could have an adventure.
So I put it all in theirbackpack and off they went.
So to some folks in our verymodern society, those things
(03:23):
look a little bizarre, right?
Cause we're not used to seeingkids do that.
Whereas, you know, oldergenerations will recognize those
activities as really the basisof childhood.
But anyway, it's generated a lotof discussion.
And first off, let me say thatnone of that was on purpose.
(03:44):
I didn't set out to be anadvocate for what some call free
range childhood.
It really came out of necessity.
When Christian and I bought ourhomestead property back in 2008
originally, we loved the idea ofraising our future children here
because we didn't have kids atthat point.
(04:05):
We were still newlyweds.
Now, that being said, I reallyhad zero preconceived notions of
what that would actually looklike other than I knew our kids
would be outside with us, youknow, participating with animals
and homestead life and all ofthat good stuff.
Now once the kids started comingalong, really it just felt
(04:27):
natural to have them outsidewith us.
You know, right from thebeginning when Mesa, our oldest
was a newborn, I would bundleher up in her snow suits sticker
in our big jogging stroller thathas these big bumpy tires so it
can go over rough terrain andshe just kind of had to go
outside with us because wedidn't have a lot of babysitters
(04:51):
and that was our only option.
We also have really busy liveswith a lot of moving parts, so
most of the time it's actuallyeasier to pack our kids along
with us than trying to arrangechildcare, especially living out
as far as we do now.
That trend is continued with oursubsequent children.
(05:14):
I have a picture of Bridger, ourmiddle child.
I had him snuggled into ourstroller at only five days old
so he could go out to the barnwith me to check on stuff.
And Sage our third born, she'sthree and she's really been
doing everything she possiblycan to keep up with her older
siblings since day one.
(05:35):
So that's just kinda been whatwe did by default.
And as much as I'd like to saywe were super intentional and
created and crafted this magicalchildhood for them.
It really was just more, youknow, just getting the job done
throughout the day.
Now that they're a little bitolder, Mesa is now nine.
(05:56):
Things have shifted a little bitand it's less about me, you
know, packing them along while Ido the chores and more about
them doing the chores for me,which is pretty darn awesome if
you have older children.
I know you can relate to that.
But you know, after they gettheir chores done, they've
really become quite selfentertained.
(06:17):
So you know, we do ourhomeschool in the mornings or in
the summertime we have them dotheir chores sets each morning
and then they're kind of ontheir own.
And I give them a lot of freetime.
Again, less about me doing it onpurpose at the beginning and
more about just needing, youknow, I have other things to do.
I'm cooking, I'm runningbusinesses, you know, we're in
(06:38):
the garden and I can't entertainthem 24 seven now.
Honestly, when we started havingchildren and they started
growing and I started seeingwhat other moms around me were
doing, it used to bother me alittle bit that we weren't able
to partake in more activities.
(06:58):
And I bet you may relate tothis, if you live rurally with
children, there's kind of thistension that comes with loving
the rural life and the freedomit creates for your family, but
also kind of having this feelingsometimes that maybe you're not
doing enough.
And with US living about 35 40miles from town, that limits
(07:25):
greatly the amount of play datesor lessons or structured kid
activities that we can reallyparticipate in because it's kind
of an all day thing.
By the time we get to town, dothe activity, run any other
errands, you know, that's atleast we'll say a half a day
that is gone just for a onelesson or one, one hour event.
(07:48):
So we have to really limit that.
So it kind of bothered me forawhile.
I would get into the comparisontrap, right?
And start to look at otherpeople and say, oh my gosh, I'm
failing.
I'm not doing enough.
But as I've matured a little asa mom and my kids have gotten
older and I've started to see alittle bit of the fruits of our
(08:09):
labor, I'm starting to actuallyrealize that the sort of
unstructured childhood that wehave accidentally created here
on the homestead is actually areally positive thing.
Now, some of you might be going,Duh, like we knew that, but it
(08:29):
was reassuring for me as a mom,and I know some of you need to
hear this, to know that it wasnot just time devoid of
activities, but it was actuallybeneficial, right?
Beneficial for my children tohave this unstructured time.
And I kind of started tounderstand the scientific
benefits cause there are actualresearch studies that back up
(08:52):
this idea that this oldfashioned sort of childhood is
more important than we maythink.
So I see these articles comethrough different news sites and
social media and I kind of havethis habit of collecting them.
So here's just a few of thethings I've noticed over the
(09:12):
last year or so.
There's a study or an article inthe New England Journal of
Medicine that actually observeda link between Amish farming
communities and a reducedoccurrence of asthma, which I
thought was pretty interesting.
There's another study that showsthat a rural childhood with
exposure to animals and dustHallelujah can boost the immune
(09:37):
system and actually reduce theoccurrence of some mental
illness.
There was another article in TheWashington Post that highlights
the increase of childhoodbalance issues.
I guess this is actually aphenomenon they're seeing, where
children are having trouble withbalance and that's attributed to
(09:58):
lack of movement throughout theday because kids are becoming
more and more sedentary.
And this article went on toexplain that the remedy for this
was letting your kids jump andrun and roll down hills and you
know how kids just flail a lot.
Yours do that mine do that isjust like arms and legs and
(10:19):
elbows just in this tornado allday long, just be in kids,
right?
That's actually helping themgrow properly and get that
proper balance in their bodies.
So that was fascinating.
And then there was another poston the World Economic Forum that
encouraged parentswholeheartedly to let their
(10:41):
children be bored.
Let your children be bored.
That's a really important notebecause it has been shown to
actually increase creativity.
And I think lack of boredom notto get off on a rabbit trail
here is a huge issue in allareas of our society right now.
Just with the,, you know,instances of smartphone use on
(11:03):
the rise and tablets and iPadsand we don't have the
opportunity to just sit in awaiting room and think about
life or go down the road andlook out the window and watch
the countryside fly by like we,you know, would have done
without a smartphone in ourhand.
So boredom is actually prettypowerful.
So you know, as I'm looking atall these studies and looking at
(11:26):
these research pieces, which Iwill absolutely share in the
show notes so you can go checkthem out for yourself.
You know, it's easy to brush offthis idea of an old fashioned
childhood or children playing inthe pond, catching frogs,
climbing trees, laying in thebackyard, being bored on a
(11:48):
summer afternoon.
We often think of thoseactivities as things of the
past, and we think of them withnostalgia and fond memories, but
I think a lot of us don'tconsider them something that
needs to be continued on in ourcurrent society.
But I'm starting to realize wecan't afford to relegate these
(12:12):
concepts to the history books.
We must continue to perpetuatethem and we're going to have to
be very intentional with how wedo that due to just our
technological advances.
So all that being said, I am notclaiming to have this parenting
thing figured out, not by a longshot.
(12:32):
I'm still learning.
And I really am hesitant to giveany sort of parenting advice
because, well, my oldest is onlynine years old and I am still
yet to determine how this wholething's going to turn out.
But I am completely and utterlyconvinced that one of the most
powerful parts of a healthychildhood is unstructured free
(12:56):
time.
And that's something I'm seeingmore and more of a decrease in.
As you know, we want ourchildren to be successful.
We want them to succeed in life,which is not wrong, but
sometimes it's so tempting toplug them into all the
activities, all the lessons, allthe things, and they're missing
(13:16):
out on the opportunity to bebored.
Okay, so let's shift a littlebit from concept to
implementation.
So if you're listening to thisand you're thinking, okay, how
do I actually make this happen?
What does this look like?
My best advice period.
(13:37):
Go.
Here it is laying it out.
Number one, kick them out thedoor and leave them alone.
Number two, repeat the next day.
Okay, so said that with a littlebit tongue in cheek knowing that
depending on where you live, youknow, dangers do exist, right?
There are highways with cars.
(13:58):
That's an issue.
There are predators.
We can't necessarily just letour kids go down the main street
five miles away from us on theirbikes and go get an ice cream.
You know, we have to be mindfulof those things depending on
your situation and yourlocation.
But just really, I wouldn'tencourage you to embrace the
(14:19):
idea of letting your kids bebored.
And we do this by, it's prettyeasy for us as mom and dad's,
right?
This is not complicated.
Just letting them play.
We do limit the screens.
Now my kids do have a littlescreen time.
They are allowed to watch aboutan hour of screen time in the
(14:41):
afternoons, usually around fouro'clock.
Now that might shock some ofyou.
But I'm all about balance and wehave found that works really
well for, they play outside ordo their schoolwork or whatever
all day long, by four o'clockeveryone's usually a little
hungry, a little tired and alittle grouchy.
(15:02):
And it just works well to havethat hour of downtime where they
watch a movie or do whatever.
It also gives me a chance tocook supper.
So we do a little screentime,but we do limit it.
And I think the biggest piecehere is we don't use screens as
a cure for boredom.
(15:22):
So if my kid comes to me aroundone o'clock in the afternoon and
says, I'm bored, I say, okay,here's a list of things you can
go do or create.
And if you don't want to dothose, I have some chores for
you.
And then they usually justdisappear very happily and
occupy themselves.
But if I hear the word I'mbored, it doesn't turn into a
(15:46):
license for screens because Iwant them to learn how to work
themselves through that feelingof boredom and come out with
something productive or creativeor enjoyable on the other side.
And this applies to adults too.
Don't fear boredom becausethat's really where creativity
(16:06):
is born.
It's a good thing.
Okay, back to my little listhere.
Fight the urge to micromanageyour kids.
You know, this is a tough onebecause we don't want to see
them be frustrated or scrapetheir knee or squabble and there
is a time and place tointervene.
But try to let them work it outif possible.
(16:28):
And there's been several times,more than several times,
frequently I'll be outside doingmy garden stuff, working in the
yard, ride my horse.
The kids will be in thevicinity, there'll be a
disagreement, breakout or somesort of problem, you know?
And sometimes I have the urge tojump in there and fix it, but if
I can remind myself just tostand back, oftentimes they
(16:51):
problem solve on their own.
And this has been reallygratifying to watch, especially
as my kids do more chores bythemselves.
It's so fun to see them solvetheir own problems.
You know, when they can't figureout how to lug the heavy chicken
water back into the coop, theyget creative and they figure out
(17:12):
solutions.
Or when a horse gets into thewrong pen, you know, and mom's
not there to instantly fix it.
They figure out ways to set thegates and get the horse back
into the right location.
So problem solving, it's Kindamagical and it's really fun to
see them figure those thingsout.
Another thing I really tried todo is to teach my kids to wonder
(17:36):
and ask questions.
I see sometimes a lot of adultsand children included, they're
not really checked into theworld around them.
Like the natural world around usis so fantastic.
And so I try to really modelthat for my kids, whether it's
in the garden and we'remarveling at the seeds coming
(17:57):
out of the ground and we talkabout why that's happening and
how it's happening and how coolit is that the seed just sat in
the packet for months and monthsuntil we put it in the soil and
watered it.
Or baby animals, new chicks, youknow, just teaching them to
really marvel at the worldaround them is helping them to
(18:18):
pay attention to details.
It's a great science lesson mostof the time and I just think it
makes more conscientious adults.
Now I want to say a littlecaveat here cause I don't want
anyone to under to misunderstandwhat I'm putting out here.
I am not against having yourkids do activities right.
(18:40):
There is absolutely in time andplace for that.
We personally are doing four hthis year.
Mesa is doing goats and horsefour h and we also during the
school year do a weeklyhomeschool co-op where we go
like every Thursday into townand have a full day of lessons
and socialization and time withother homeschool families.
(19:03):
So I think there's an absoluteimportance to having them be in
some sort of structuredactivities where they can be
with their peers, they can learnhow to learn and challenge
themselves.
Those are all wonderful things.
But I found that when it comesto the most meaningful
activities that we do as afamily, my kids light up the
(19:26):
most when they have a chance tobe a part of something bigger
than themselves.
And that's like if we're outsideworking in the yard as a family
or we are going to gather cattleas a family or something along
those lines, my kids eat up thechance to have a role in
something bigger.
Right?
(19:47):
So we love the activities thatwe do, but we also try to keep
that balanced with thatunstructured free time.
And also just being able to be apart of the grownup projects and
giving them a little bit moreresponsibility.
And yes, sometimes as a controlfreak, I cringe a little when I
(20:08):
give my kids an assignment andyou know, something breaks or
they mess up or I tell them tomix the dough on the counter and
the flour goes flying andthere's a huge mess is the
challenge.
Do you have to kind of workthrough that as a parent?
Sometimes, but that's where theylearn.
And if we never give them thosechances, then we're really
stifling them as they grow andmature.
(20:31):
So one more little thing beforewe wrap up here.
I don't want you to feel bad ifyou live in the suburbs or in
the city because you can stillcreate this sort of childhood no
matter where you live, and I'vehad some people, this is kind of
where that controversy comesinto play.
When I've talked about theseconcepts online, people get a
(20:54):
little upset because they'relike, that's great, but you
don't know I my situation, Ilive in an apartment or I live
with a tiny backyard.
I can't turn my kids out thedoor and ignore them.
It's not safe.
And I totally get it.
I know that everyone's situationis different, but I
wholeheartedly believe you canstill create that environment of
(21:16):
boredom.
Healthy boredom, wonder, askingquestions and just letting them
have that free time to huntinsects on a summer day or look
at the clouds or roll in thegrass.
And you can do that.
Even if you're at a park, youknow, you take your kids to the
park, no, you probably can'tleave them at the park
unsupervised.
(21:37):
That would not be appropriatethat you can sit back and let
them call the shots for a littlewhile.
You can kind of be back at asafe distance, make sure
everything's good and cool, butlet them take the lead and have
that unstructured time wherethey can work out who they are
and their passions andleadership skills and all those
(21:57):
good things.
So all in all, I absolutelydon't claim to have this whole
parenting thing figured out.
There are definitely things Icould improve on and shortfalls
I have.
But as my kids grow, I am 100%convinced in the power of an old
(22:18):
fashion childhood because likeMr.
Rogers says, good old Mr.
Rogers.
Play is truly the work ofchildhood.
So if you're ready to do thiswhole homestead thing, maybe
bring some homestead aspectsinto your life for either
(22:38):
yourself or your children, butyou're not quite sure where to
start.
I'm your girl.
I have an entire library ofresources I put together for
homesteaders, whether you're newor experienced, and you can get
complimentary access to thislibrary at
theprairiehomestead.com/growcovers everything from gardening
(23:02):
to chickens to cooking andeverything in between.
And that's all for this episode.
Folks.
Thanks for listening.
Remember to subscribe, and I'dlove it if you could leave a
quick review over on iTunes andI will see you in the next
episode of the old fashion onpurpose podcast.
Welcome to the old fashioned on purpose podcast.
Today's episode is all about howwe are raising our kids like
it's 1955 and we're going todive into how Christian and I
have kind of accidentallystumbled into raising pretty old
(00:21):
fashioned kids in this verymodern world.
Now this has actually been a bitof a hot topic when I have
shared these sentiments on myFacebook page and blog and it's
actually even stirred up a bitof controversy, believe it or
not.
So I'm excited to hear what youthink after you listen to this
(00:42):
episode.
I'm your host Jill winger, andfor the last 10 years I've been
helping people just like youlearn how to leave the rat race
and create the life you reallywant by growing your own food
and mastering old fashionedskills.
Okay, so before we dive intothis topic, I have to preface it
(01:05):
by saying I am not a mommyblogger and I'm about as far as
you can possibly be from theperson who is giving out advice
about parenting online.
That's just not me.
I don't have amazing birthdayparties for my children.
I don't make the cool snacks.
Our craft time consists of a boxof pipe cleaners and maybe a few
(01:30):
cotton balls in our schoolcabinet that they are welcome to
use of their own accord.
But I generally don't createcraft times for them.
So I am not the type of mom whousually has wonderful
revolutionary ideas on keepingyour children occupied.
That's just not me.
(01:51):
It's never been my space orreally what I have felt
qualified to share on.
However, recently, over the pastfew months, maybe even up to a
year, I have noticed that I'vehad some posts on my prairie
homestead Facebook page andInstagram pages that have
(02:12):
received more attention thanother posts, more comments, more
likes, more shares, and almostalways these posts are related
to my kids doing kind ofunorthodox activities for your
average child in 2019.
(02:34):
Now for some of you, thesearen't unorthodox at all because
these photos and posts on socialmedia that I've been sharing
show pictures of my childrenjumping off our manure pile,
playing with giant applianceboxes and turning it into rocket
ships and pretend log cabins.
And one that got the mostengagement was actually a photo
(02:58):
of three children, backpacks intow, traipsing out across our
pasture to have a picnic.
And that day it was a reallypretty summer afternoon.
They asked if I could pack themtuna fish sandwiches so they
could have an adventure.
So I put it all in theirbackpack and off they went.
So to some folks in our verymodern society, those things
(03:23):
look a little bizarre, right?
Cause we're not used to seeingkids do that.
Whereas, you know, oldergenerations will recognize those
activities as really the basisof childhood.
But anyway, it's generated a lotof discussion.
And first off, let me say thatnone of that was on purpose.
(03:44):
I didn't set out to be anadvocate for what some call free
range childhood.
It really came out of necessity.
When Christian and I bought ourhomestead property back in 2008
originally, we loved the idea ofraising our future children here
because we didn't have kids atthat point.
(04:05):
We were still newlyweds.
Now, that being said, I reallyhad zero preconceived notions of
what that would actually looklike other than I knew our kids
would be outside with us, youknow, participating with animals
and homestead life and all ofthat good stuff.
Now once the kids started comingalong, really it just felt
(04:27):
natural to have them outsidewith us.
You know, right from thebeginning when Mesa, our oldest
was a newborn, I would bundleher up in her snow suits sticker
in our big jogging stroller thathas these big bumpy tires so it
can go over rough terrain andshe just kind of had to go
outside with us because wedidn't have a lot of babysitters
(04:51):
and that was our only option.
We also have really busy liveswith a lot of moving parts, so
most of the time it's actuallyeasier to pack our kids along
with us than trying to arrangechildcare, especially living out
as far as we do now.
That trend is continued with oursubsequent children.
(05:14):
I have a picture of Bridger, ourmiddle child.
I had him snuggled into ourstroller at only five days old
so he could go out to the barnwith me to check on stuff.
And Sage our third born, she'sthree and she's really been
doing everything she possiblycan to keep up with her older
siblings since day one.
(05:35):
So that's just kinda been whatwe did by default.
And as much as I'd like to saywe were super intentional and
created and crafted this magicalchildhood for them.
It really was just more, youknow, just getting the job done
throughout the day.
Now that they're a little bitolder, Mesa is now nine.
(05:56):
Things have shifted a little bitand it's less about me, you
know, packing them along while Ido the chores and more about
them doing the chores for me,which is pretty darn awesome if
you have older children.
I know you can relate to that.
But you know, after they gettheir chores done, they've
really become quite selfentertained.
(06:17):
So you know, we do ourhomeschool in the mornings or in
the summertime we have them dotheir chores sets each morning
and then they're kind of ontheir own.
And I give them a lot of freetime.
Again, less about me doing it onpurpose at the beginning and
more about just needing, youknow, I have other things to do.
I'm cooking, I'm runningbusinesses, you know, we're in
(06:38):
the garden and I can't entertainthem 24 seven now.
Honestly, when we started havingchildren and they started
growing and I started seeingwhat other moms around me were
doing, it used to bother me alittle bit that we weren't able
to partake in more activities.
(06:58):
And I bet you may relate tothis, if you live rurally with
children, there's kind of thistension that comes with loving
the rural life and the freedomit creates for your family, but
also kind of having this feelingsometimes that maybe you're not
doing enough.
And with US living about 35 40miles from town, that limits
(07:25):
greatly the amount of play datesor lessons or structured kid
activities that we can reallyparticipate in because it's kind
of an all day thing.
By the time we get to town, dothe activity, run any other
errands, you know, that's atleast we'll say a half a day
that is gone just for a onelesson or one, one hour event.
(07:48):
So we have to really limit that.
So it kind of bothered me forawhile.
I would get into the comparisontrap, right?
And start to look at otherpeople and say, oh my gosh, I'm
failing.
I'm not doing enough.
But as I've matured a little asa mom and my kids have gotten
older and I've started to see alittle bit of the fruits of our
(08:09):
labor, I'm starting to actuallyrealize that the sort of
unstructured childhood that wehave accidentally created here
on the homestead is actually areally positive thing.
Now, some of you might be going,Duh, like we knew that, but it
(08:29):
was reassuring for me as a mom,and I know some of you need to
hear this, to know that it wasnot just time devoid of
activities, but it was actuallybeneficial, right?
Beneficial for my children tohave this unstructured time.
And I kind of started tounderstand the scientific
benefits cause there are actualresearch studies that back up
(08:52):
this idea that this oldfashioned sort of childhood is
more important than we maythink.
So I see these articles comethrough different news sites and
social media and I kind of havethis habit of collecting them.
So here's just a few of thethings I've noticed over the
(09:12):
last year or so.
There's a study or an article inthe New England Journal of
Medicine that actually observeda link between Amish farming
communities and a reducedoccurrence of asthma, which I
thought was pretty interesting.
There's another study that showsthat a rural childhood with
exposure to animals and dustHallelujah can boost the immune
(09:37):
system and actually reduce theoccurrence of some mental
illness.
There was another article in TheWashington Post that highlights
the increase of childhoodbalance issues.
I guess this is actually aphenomenon they're seeing, where
children are having trouble withbalance and that's attributed to
(09:58):
lack of movement throughout theday because kids are becoming
more and more sedentary.
And this article went on toexplain that the remedy for this
was letting your kids jump andrun and roll down hills and you
know how kids just flail a lot.
Yours do that mine do that isjust like arms and legs and
(10:19):
elbows just in this tornado allday long, just be in kids,
right?
That's actually helping themgrow properly and get that
proper balance in their bodies.
So that was fascinating.
And then there was another poston the World Economic Forum that
encouraged parentswholeheartedly to let their
(10:41):
children be bored.
Let your children be bored.
That's a really important notebecause it has been shown to
actually increase creativity.
And I think lack of boredom notto get off on a rabbit trail
here is a huge issue in allareas of our society right now.
Just with the,, you know,instances of smartphone use on
(11:03):
the rise and tablets and iPadsand we don't have the
opportunity to just sit in awaiting room and think about
life or go down the road andlook out the window and watch
the countryside fly by like we,you know, would have done
without a smartphone in ourhand.
So boredom is actually prettypowerful.
So you know, as I'm looking atall these studies and looking at
(11:26):
these research pieces, which Iwill absolutely share in the
show notes so you can go checkthem out for yourself.
You know, it's easy to brush offthis idea of an old fashioned
childhood or children playing inthe pond, catching frogs,
climbing trees, laying in thebackyard, being bored on a
(11:48):
summer afternoon.
We often think of thoseactivities as things of the
past, and we think of them withnostalgia and fond memories, but
I think a lot of us don'tconsider them something that
needs to be continued on in ourcurrent society.
But I'm starting to realize wecan't afford to relegate these
(12:12):
concepts to the history books.
We must continue to perpetuatethem and we're going to have to
be very intentional with how wedo that due to just our
technological advances.
So all that being said, I am notclaiming to have this parenting
thing figured out, not by a longshot.
(12:32):
I'm still learning.
And I really am hesitant to giveany sort of parenting advice
because, well, my oldest is onlynine years old and I am still
yet to determine how this wholething's going to turn out.
But I am completely and utterlyconvinced that one of the most
powerful parts of a healthychildhood is unstructured free
(12:56):
time.
And that's something I'm seeingmore and more of a decrease in.
As you know, we want ourchildren to be successful.
We want them to succeed in life,which is not wrong, but
sometimes it's so tempting toplug them into all the
activities, all the lessons, allthe things, and they're missing
(13:16):
out on the opportunity to bebored.
Okay, so let's shift a littlebit from concept to
implementation.
So if you're listening to thisand you're thinking, okay, how
do I actually make this happen?
What does this look like?
My best advice period.
(13:37):
Go.
Here it is laying it out.
Number one, kick them out thedoor and leave them alone.
Number two, repeat the next day.
Okay, so said that with a littlebit tongue in cheek knowing that
depending on where you live, youknow, dangers do exist, right?
There are highways with cars.
(13:58):
That's an issue.
There are predators.
We can't necessarily just letour kids go down the main street
five miles away from us on theirbikes and go get an ice cream.
You know, we have to be mindfulof those things depending on
your situation and yourlocation.
But just really, I wouldn'tencourage you to embrace the
(14:19):
idea of letting your kids bebored.
And we do this by, it's prettyeasy for us as mom and dad's,
right?
This is not complicated.
Just letting them play.
We do limit the screens.
Now my kids do have a littlescreen time.
They are allowed to watch aboutan hour of screen time in the
(14:41):
afternoons, usually around fouro'clock.
Now that might shock some ofyou.
But I'm all about balance and wehave found that works really
well for, they play outside ordo their schoolwork or whatever
all day long, by four o'clockeveryone's usually a little
hungry, a little tired and alittle grouchy.
(15:02):
And it just works well to havethat hour of downtime where they
watch a movie or do whatever.
It also gives me a chance tocook supper.
So we do a little screentime,but we do limit it.
And I think the biggest piecehere is we don't use screens as
a cure for boredom.
(15:22):
So if my kid comes to me aroundone o'clock in the afternoon and
says, I'm bored, I say, okay,here's a list of things you can
go do or create.
And if you don't want to dothose, I have some chores for
you.
And then they usually justdisappear very happily and
occupy themselves.
But if I hear the word I'mbored, it doesn't turn into a
(15:46):
license for screens because Iwant them to learn how to work
themselves through that feelingof boredom and come out with
something productive or creativeor enjoyable on the other side.
And this applies to adults too.
Don't fear boredom becausethat's really where creativity
(16:06):
is born.
It's a good thing.
Okay, back to my little listhere.
Fight the urge to micromanageyour kids.
You know, this is a tough onebecause we don't want to see
them be frustrated or scrapetheir knee or squabble and there
is a time and place tointervene.
But try to let them work it outif possible.
(16:28):
And there's been several times,more than several times,
frequently I'll be outside doingmy garden stuff, working in the
yard, ride my horse.
The kids will be in thevicinity, there'll be a
disagreement, breakout or somesort of problem, you know?
And sometimes I have the urge tojump in there and fix it, but if
I can remind myself just tostand back, oftentimes they
(16:51):
problem solve on their own.
And this has been reallygratifying to watch, especially
as my kids do more chores bythemselves.
It's so fun to see them solvetheir own problems.
You know, when they can't figureout how to lug the heavy chicken
water back into the coop, theyget creative and they figure out
(17:12):
solutions.
Or when a horse gets into thewrong pen, you know, and mom's
not there to instantly fix it.
They figure out ways to set thegates and get the horse back
into the right location.
So problem solving, it's Kindamagical and it's really fun to
see them figure those thingsout.
Another thing I really tried todo is to teach my kids to wonder
(17:36):
and ask questions.
I see sometimes a lot of adultsand children included, they're
not really checked into theworld around them.
Like the natural world around usis so fantastic.
And so I try to really modelthat for my kids, whether it's
in the garden and we'remarveling at the seeds coming
(17:57):
out of the ground and we talkabout why that's happening and
how it's happening and how coolit is that the seed just sat in
the packet for months and monthsuntil we put it in the soil and
watered it.
Or baby animals, new chicks, youknow, just teaching them to
really marvel at the worldaround them is helping them to
(18:18):
pay attention to details.
It's a great science lesson mostof the time and I just think it
makes more conscientious adults.
Now I want to say a littlecaveat here cause I don't want
anyone to under to misunderstandwhat I'm putting out here.
I am not against having yourkids do activities right.
(18:40):
There is absolutely in time andplace for that.
We personally are doing four hthis year.
Mesa is doing goats and horsefour h and we also during the
school year do a weeklyhomeschool co-op where we go
like every Thursday into townand have a full day of lessons
and socialization and time withother homeschool families.
(19:03):
So I think there's an absoluteimportance to having them be in
some sort of structuredactivities where they can be
with their peers, they can learnhow to learn and challenge
themselves.
Those are all wonderful things.
But I found that when it comesto the most meaningful
activities that we do as afamily, my kids light up the
(19:26):
most when they have a chance tobe a part of something bigger
than themselves.
And that's like if we're outsideworking in the yard as a family
or we are going to gather cattleas a family or something along
those lines, my kids eat up thechance to have a role in
something bigger.
Right?
(19:47):
So we love the activities thatwe do, but we also try to keep
that balanced with thatunstructured free time.
And also just being able to be apart of the grownup projects and
giving them a little bit moreresponsibility.
And yes, sometimes as a controlfreak, I cringe a little when I
(20:08):
give my kids an assignment andyou know, something breaks or
they mess up or I tell them tomix the dough on the counter and
the flour goes flying andthere's a huge mess is the
challenge.
Do you have to kind of workthrough that as a parent?
Sometimes, but that's where theylearn.
And if we never give them thosechances, then we're really
stifling them as they grow andmature.
(20:31):
So one more little thing beforewe wrap up here.
I don't want you to feel bad ifyou live in the suburbs or in
the city because you can stillcreate this sort of childhood no
matter where you live, and I'vehad some people, this is kind of
where that controversy comesinto play.
When I've talked about theseconcepts online, people get a
(20:54):
little upset because they'relike, that's great, but you
don't know I my situation, Ilive in an apartment or I live
with a tiny backyard.
I can't turn my kids out thedoor and ignore them.
It's not safe.
And I totally get it.
I know that everyone's situationis different, but I
wholeheartedly believe you canstill create that environment of
(21:16):
boredom.
Healthy boredom, wonder, askingquestions and just letting them
have that free time to huntinsects on a summer day or look
at the clouds or roll in thegrass.
And you can do that.
Even if you're at a park, youknow, you take your kids to the
park, no, you probably can'tleave them at the park
unsupervised.
(21:37):
That would not be appropriatethat you can sit back and let
them call the shots for a littlewhile.
You can kind of be back at asafe distance, make sure
everything's good and cool, butlet them take the lead and have
that unstructured time wherethey can work out who they are
and their passions andleadership skills and all those
(21:57):
good things.
So all in all, I absolutelydon't claim to have this whole
parenting thing figured out.
There are definitely things Icould improve on and shortfalls
I have.
But as my kids grow, I am 100%convinced in the power of an old
(22:18):
fashion childhood because likeMr.
Rogers says, good old Mr.
Rogers.
Play is truly the work ofchildhood.
So if you're ready to do thiswhole homestead thing, maybe
bring some homestead aspectsinto your life for either
(22:38):
yourself or your children, butyou're not quite sure where to
start.
I'm your girl.
I have an entire library ofresources I put together for
homesteaders, whether you're newor experienced, and you can get
complimentary access to thislibrary at
theprairiehomestead.com/growcovers everything from gardening
(23:02):
to chickens to cooking andeverything in between.
And that's all for this episode.
Folks.
Thanks for listening.
Remember to subscribe, and I'dlove it if you could leave a
quick review over on iTunes andI will see you in the next
episode of the old fashion onpurpose podcast.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com