Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What's going on guys? It's your boy scrub here, back
again with another video. Hope you guys are all having an
incredible day. I know I am.
If you are, please press the like button.
No joke, no scam. If you don't press the like
button, I will be forced to sellyou to Disney and they will make
you a slave in the salt minds ofDisneyland.
So that way they have enough salt for their pretzels and
their popcorn and their ice cream.
And you don't want to have to dothat.
(00:21):
So press the like button. Otherwise Mickey Mouse will be
called master for the rest of your life.
That's right, I don't make the rules.
I just follow them. And without further ado, let's
get in telling the story of the most psychotic boyfriend to ever
exist. No, it's not my boyfriend.
Sadly, I'm not gay. I know, I know.
If I was, Susan would put me to the front of the trending page
every time I uploaded a video. No, no, no, I like women.
(00:43):
But this is a a dear friend of mine, probably my closest friend
that's a girl and her her ex-boyfriend is literally the
craziest person I've ever met inmy entire life.
All right, like he's the type ofguy where you're out to eat, you
know, and you're having a good time.
A normal conversation. Then somebody mentioned
something and next thing you know, he's got the waiter by the
throat chokeholding her, saying where'd you put the mayonnaise?
(01:05):
And you know, nobody has a good time.
But thank God it's her ex. You know what?
We're over that phase of her life.
And yeah, he's a psychopath. So without further ado, let's
get into the story. So my friend is, is a sweet
lady, OK? I'm not saying she's the
brightest because she's not. But she's a sweetheart.
She would never hurt a family. She's the type of person that if
you need help with anything, at the drop of a dime, she will
(01:26):
drop everything and come help you.
And we've stayed really, really close since high school.
We met in middle school. Like, we've been friends for a
really, really long time. My friend, however, does not
have good taste in men. You know, like, she's the type
of girl where every guy she dates is a combination of Shrek
before he meets Fiona when he's just eating onions and screaming
at donkeys, and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
(01:48):
You know, like the guy who no one can dance, like Gaston who,
like, tries to kill the Beast. Yeah, Yeah, that guy.
So regardless, she does not havethe best taste in men.
But whatever. We went out to college.
In her freshman year of college,she met this guy that she war
was amazing. He was great.
He was kind, he was funny, and, you know, she was hyping him up
a lot. So over Christmas break he came
home with her to meet her familyand whatever, and she was like,
(02:11):
hey, will you meet him? Because apparently I'm a good
judge of character. My friends say that if I meet
somebody and I don't like him, there's usually a good reason.
So I'm like, yeah, of course I'll meet your boyfriend if you
like him so much. You've told me he's great.
I'm sure he's great. Let's see, Let's see.
My hopes were not very high because, like I said, most guys
she dates have the personality of a Geodude.
You know, after you've been in afor the last 9 hours and all
(02:31):
you're finding is zoo bats and geodudes that, that, that was
what I was expecting to run intohere.
So whatever, we go to lunch and this guy is a grade A douche bag
all right. Like he walks in with the polo
shirt with the collar up, which I thought went out of style in
2006. And you know, hey, it's a little
shallow to judge people for the way they're dressed.
And you're 100% right. What came out of his mouth made
(02:52):
me think he was even a bigger douche than what was what what
he was wearing. He starts immediately talking
about how his dad was a Navy SEAL, so like, he could
basically fight any guy in the world because his dad had taught
him everything he knew. And I don't think that's how it
works. All right, Like, I don't think
if your dad's a Navy SEAL, the skills transfer over
genetically. I I'm just, I don't think that's
how it works. You know, maybe if, like you
(03:12):
were Navy SEAL, Congrats, man. You can punch anybody in the
throat and they'll instantly spontaneously combust.
But if your parents were Navy Seals, the skills don't
magically get passed down from generation to generation.
So whatever. I asked him if he's in the
military and he says, no, no, no, I'm, I'm too smart for it.
And I was like, that's a weird thing.
You're flexing the fact that your dad's in the military, but
you're too smart. I, I just didn't really get what
(03:33):
he was saying. So right off the bat, I'm not
the biggest fan of this guy. Like, I'm, I'm sorry, you just
came across as a big douche. So whatever.
We're just kind of talking. And my friend gets up to go to
the bathroom and as soon as she leaves, he's like, hey, you got
to tell her that you like me. And I was like, why?
And he starts telling me that she won't do something with him
until I, I approve of him. If you're picking up what I'm
(03:54):
putting down, I'm not going to say it because, you know, Susan
is always listening. Susan just has her headphones
ready on this scrub channel at all time.
I am her favorite storyteller. We went on a date and made out a
little bit, but she told me not to tell you guys, so keep it low
key, but whatever. She goes away and he basically
says that I have to just approveof liking him and if I don't
then he's going to beat me up. And I was like, look, dude,
(04:15):
threatening me is not going to make me like you.
Like, if I don't like you, I'm not going to pretend to like
you. Yeah, you could probably beat me
up, but like I'm, I would rather, you know, be a good
friend and tell her that you're a douche than approve of you.
And he basically, you know, whenshe comes back, causes a scene,
says I insulted him and that I'min love with her and blah, blah,
blah, blah. And you know, she, she decides
to believe him for whatever reason.
(04:37):
I'm not really sure why, to be honest, because she's had a
crush on me for a long time and not once have I flirted with her
or tried to hit on her. So I'm not really sure when she
got the idea that I was definitely trying to make out
with her from, but whatever, shebelieves him.
They leave and she texts me. She's like, if you don't support
my relationship, you don't support me.
And I'm like, I bet because you know what, if my friends are
going to be picky little hoes like that, it's not my
(04:58):
responsibility to babysit You godo stupid things.
You do what you got to do. I'm not, I don't really care.
So whatever, she goes away and is with her boyfriend and I
don't talk to her for a while. And then out of the blue, like
four days ago, I get this text message from her or a number I
didn't recognize. I deleted her contact because I
was like, I'm not wasting my time with bad friends.
You know, I don't, there's not enough time in the world to deal
(05:19):
with people who aren't going to respect you in your opinion.
So like once she was like, oh, we're not friends.
I deleted her number and I don'tfeel bad.
I did what I had to do. I regret absolutely nothing.
And she basically tells me that her boyfriend was a psychopath
and that they broke up now. And I'm like, wow, I could have
seen this coming when he threatened me to tell you that I
liked him and then you unfriended me for it.
So I'm a little nosy hoe, I ain't going to lie.
(05:40):
So I was like, hey, why'd you guys break up?
Like, I want to know everything.And before anyone's like, oh,
you're nosy. Yeah, I am.
I am nosy. Whenever somebody says they
broke up, I want to know why. If that makes me a bad person,
then I'm a bad person. But she proceeds to tell me that
basically this guy would like not let her talk to any of her
guy friends whatsoever at all, even if they liked him.
(06:01):
Even if they didn't, she he basically cut her off from all
of her friends and she was only allowed to talk to her dad and
her brothers when he was in the room because he didn't want them
to have conversations without him there.
And that's just weird bro. Like maybe he was from Alabama
or something. But trust me, your girl is not
going to try to hit on her dad. Then if she does try to hit on
her dad, you're dodging a bullet.
Like let's be realistic here. If your girlfriend's going to
(06:22):
try to make out with her dad, maybe you should do the right
thing and just stop dating her. Like realistically you went.
I don't want her to hit on her dad.
That would make me jealous. So I'm going to watch it.
Dude, if she she hits on her dad, break up with her.
It is not worth falling on like you're you're going to sit there
and no, you're not allowed to talk to your dad.
Well, she's trying to get in hispants.
No thank you. But anyways, it goes on that he
(06:43):
would also wouldn't let her get a job.
He wouldn't let her get a job because he was supposed to be
the only person making money in their relationship because he
felt like when women made money,they cheated more because they
had too much power. That's right.
This guy was like, oh, you can'ttalk to your dad and you can't
make money because women who make money cheat.
I don't know if he knows that like most women in America work
now, but I don't think he was reading many books in history
(07:05):
class because I just, I just don't see the connection there.
Like, I don't think anyone's been like, you know, when women
make money, they're a lot more likely to sleep with their
fathers. But hey, I guess what that guy
was thinking is if you keep her from having money, she can't fly
down to make out with her brother.
You know that that makes sense to me.
I would do the exact same thing if I had a girlfriend.
No talking to your dad because Iknow you're going to try to make
out with him. So here we are.
But the real kicker, I guess thereal reason they broke up
(07:27):
because you know her, him thinking you're going to make
out with your dad isn't enough. No, no, no, he got arrested
because they went out to eat dinner and I guess their waiter
like flirted with her or winked at her or something.
I don't really know. I was not.
I was just listening for the teaguys, but the waiter was just
doing his job and was being niceto her.
So her boyfriend gets all aggro and punches the waiter in the
(07:48):
face and got arrested for battery?
Yeah, sign me up for that one too, dude.
I would not. If I was a waiter working for
minimum wage at IHOP and I had some aggro dude whose dad was a
Navy SEAL punching me in the face because I smiled at his
girlfriend. You bet I'd be pressing charges
too. No going to punch me in the face
while I'm working and get away with it.
Like look, we've all been in fights, we've all been a little
(08:08):
heated, but homeboy was literally just trying to do his
job. He wasn't hitting on your
girlfriend, he smiled at her andthis dudes response was just I
might as well punch him in the face.
I don't, I don't, I don't know what else to do, guys.
What else can I possibly do? There is no other solution to
this problem other than just winding up and punching him in
the face. So she's telling me all of this
and I'm just kind of sitting here like, wow, you pick
absolute winners. Her last boyfriend also got
(08:31):
arrested for having a meth lab, but that's a different story.
Basically, this girl just picks the the ultimate champions of
men, people that you want to reproduce with, people that you
want to give a chance to continue on their gene pool.
So, yeah, that's, that's my friend's ex-boyfriend, the guy
who thought his wife or his girlfriend, not his wife, was
going to cheat on him with her father and then punched a waiter
(08:51):
in the face for just doing his job.
But you know what? It doesn't end there, because
after he got out of jail, she actually got back together with
him. And, you know, I'm not really
sure what she was thinking, but a couple weeks later, they broke
up again because this time, instead of a waiter, he hit her.
And yes, you know, like, like she moved back home.
She lives at home now. We're kind of friends again.
(09:11):
It's still a little rocky because, you know, I, I just, I
don't know, it's just a weird situation.
Like, I'm, I'm sorry if you unfriend somebody because your
douchey boyfriend tells you to. I don't know what you want me to
do. And then move in with him and
then avoid all the red flags. You're like, Nah, he loves me
and it takes you this long to leave him.
I'm sorry. You're kind of just an idiot.
But on that note, guys, that's going to do it for the video.
(09:32):
Hopefully you enjoyed. If you did, be sure to press the
like button. Let me know in the comments
section down below what you thought of the video.
All that good stuff. And yeah, hopefully I'll see you
guys tomorrow with another video.
Don't get anyone pregnant. And if you do, make sure their
dad's not a Navy SEAL. The.
What's going on guys? It's your boy scrub here, back
again with another video. Hope you guys are all having an
incredible day. I know I am.
If you are, please press the like button.
No joke, no scam. If you don't press the like
button, I will be forced to sellyou to Disney and they will make
you a slave in the salt minds ofDisneyland.
So that way they have enough salt for their pretzels and
their popcorn and their ice cream.
And you don't want to have to dothat.
(00:21):
So press the like button. Otherwise Mickey Mouse will be
called master for the rest of your life.
That's right, I don't make the rules.
I just follow them. And without further ado, let's
get in telling the story of the most psychotic boyfriend to ever
exist. No, it's not my boyfriend.
Sadly, I'm not gay. I know, I know.
If I was, Susan would put me to the front of the trending page
every time I uploaded a video. No, no, no, I like women.
(00:43):
But this is a a dear friend of mine, probably my closest friend
that's a girl and her her ex-boyfriend is literally the
craziest person I've ever met inmy entire life.
All right, like he's the type ofguy where you're out to eat, you
know, and you're having a good time.
A normal conversation. Then somebody mentioned
something and next thing you know, he's got the waiter by the
throat chokeholding her, saying where'd you put the mayonnaise?
(01:05):
And you know, nobody has a good time.
But thank God it's her ex. You know what?
We're over that phase of her life.
And yeah, he's a psychopath. So without further ado, let's
get into the story. So my friend is, is a sweet
lady, OK? I'm not saying she's the
brightest because she's not. But she's a sweetheart.
She would never hurt a family. She's the type of person that if
you need help with anything, at the drop of a dime, she will
(01:26):
drop everything and come help you.
And we've stayed really, really close since high school.
We met in middle school. Like, we've been friends for a
really, really long time. My friend, however, does not
have good taste in men. You know, like, she's the type
of girl where every guy she dates is a combination of Shrek
before he meets Fiona when he's just eating onions and screaming
at donkeys, and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
(01:48):
You know, like the guy who no one can dance, like Gaston who,
like, tries to kill the Beast. Yeah, Yeah, that guy.
So regardless, she does not havethe best taste in men.
But whatever. We went out to college.
In her freshman year of college,she met this guy that she war
was amazing. He was great.
He was kind, he was funny, and, you know, she was hyping him up
a lot. So over Christmas break he came
home with her to meet her familyand whatever, and she was like,
(02:11):
hey, will you meet him? Because apparently I'm a good
judge of character. My friends say that if I meet
somebody and I don't like him, there's usually a good reason.
So I'm like, yeah, of course I'll meet your boyfriend if you
like him so much. You've told me he's great.
I'm sure he's great. Let's see, Let's see.
My hopes were not very high because, like I said, most guys
she dates have the personality of a Geodude.
You know, after you've been in afor the last 9 hours and all
(02:31):
you're finding is zoo bats and geodudes that, that, that was
what I was expecting to run intohere.
So whatever, we go to lunch and this guy is a grade A douche bag
all right. Like he walks in with the polo
shirt with the collar up, which I thought went out of style in
2006. And you know, hey, it's a little
shallow to judge people for the way they're dressed.
And you're 100% right. What came out of his mouth made
(02:52):
me think he was even a bigger douche than what was what what
he was wearing. He starts immediately talking
about how his dad was a Navy SEAL, so like, he could
basically fight any guy in the world because his dad had taught
him everything he knew. And I don't think that's how it
works. All right, Like, I don't think
if your dad's a Navy SEAL, the skills transfer over
genetically. I I'm just, I don't think that's
how it works. You know, maybe if, like you
(03:12):
were Navy SEAL, Congrats, man. You can punch anybody in the
throat and they'll instantly spontaneously combust.
But if your parents were Navy Seals, the skills don't
magically get passed down from generation to generation.
So whatever. I asked him if he's in the
military and he says, no, no, no, I'm, I'm too smart for it.
And I was like, that's a weird thing.
You're flexing the fact that your dad's in the military, but
you're too smart. I, I just didn't really get what
(03:33):
he was saying. So right off the bat, I'm not
the biggest fan of this guy. Like, I'm, I'm sorry, you just
came across as a big douche. So whatever.
We're just kind of talking. And my friend gets up to go to
the bathroom and as soon as she leaves, he's like, hey, you got
to tell her that you like me. And I was like, why?
And he starts telling me that she won't do something with him
until I, I approve of him. If you're picking up what I'm
(03:54):
putting down, I'm not going to say it because, you know, Susan
is always listening. Susan just has her headphones
ready on this scrub channel at all time.
I am her favorite storyteller. We went on a date and made out a
little bit, but she told me not to tell you guys, so keep it low
key, but whatever. She goes away and he basically
says that I have to just approveof liking him and if I don't
then he's going to beat me up. And I was like, look, dude,
(04:15):
threatening me is not going to make me like you.
Like, if I don't like you, I'm not going to pretend to like
you. Yeah, you could probably beat me
up, but like I'm, I would rather, you know, be a good
friend and tell her that you're a douche than approve of you.
And he basically, you know, whenshe comes back, causes a scene,
says I insulted him and that I'min love with her and blah, blah,
blah, blah. And you know, she, she decides
to believe him for whatever reason.
(04:37):
I'm not really sure why, to be honest, because she's had a
crush on me for a long time and not once have I flirted with her
or tried to hit on her. So I'm not really sure when she
got the idea that I was definitely trying to make out
with her from, but whatever, shebelieves him.
They leave and she texts me. She's like, if you don't support
my relationship, you don't support me.
And I'm like, I bet because you know what, if my friends are
going to be picky little hoes like that, it's not my
(04:58):
responsibility to babysit You godo stupid things.
You do what you got to do. I'm not, I don't really care.
So whatever, she goes away and is with her boyfriend and I
don't talk to her for a while. And then out of the blue, like
four days ago, I get this text message from her or a number I
didn't recognize. I deleted her contact because I
was like, I'm not wasting my time with bad friends.
You know, I don't, there's not enough time in the world to deal
(05:19):
with people who aren't going to respect you in your opinion.
So like once she was like, oh, we're not friends.
I deleted her number and I don'tfeel bad.
I did what I had to do. I regret absolutely nothing.
And she basically tells me that her boyfriend was a psychopath
and that they broke up now. And I'm like, wow, I could have
seen this coming when he threatened me to tell you that I
liked him and then you unfriended me for it.
So I'm a little nosy hoe, I ain't going to lie.
(05:40):
So I was like, hey, why'd you guys break up?
Like, I want to know everything.And before anyone's like, oh,
you're nosy. Yeah, I am.
I am nosy. Whenever somebody says they
broke up, I want to know why. If that makes me a bad person,
then I'm a bad person. But she proceeds to tell me that
basically this guy would like not let her talk to any of her
guy friends whatsoever at all, even if they liked him.
(06:01):
Even if they didn't, she he basically cut her off from all
of her friends and she was only allowed to talk to her dad and
her brothers when he was in the room because he didn't want them
to have conversations without him there.
And that's just weird bro. Like maybe he was from Alabama
or something. But trust me, your girl is not
going to try to hit on her dad. Then if she does try to hit on
her dad, you're dodging a bullet.
Like let's be realistic here. If your girlfriend's going to
(06:22):
try to make out with her dad, maybe you should do the right
thing and just stop dating her. Like realistically you went.
I don't want her to hit on her dad.
That would make me jealous. So I'm going to watch it.
Dude, if she she hits on her dad, break up with her.
It is not worth falling on like you're you're going to sit there
and no, you're not allowed to talk to your dad.
Well, she's trying to get in hispants.
No thank you. But anyways, it goes on that he
(06:43):
would also wouldn't let her get a job.
He wouldn't let her get a job because he was supposed to be
the only person making money in their relationship because he
felt like when women made money,they cheated more because they
had too much power. That's right.
This guy was like, oh, you can'ttalk to your dad and you can't
make money because women who make money cheat.
I don't know if he knows that like most women in America work
now, but I don't think he was reading many books in history
(07:05):
class because I just, I just don't see the connection there.
Like, I don't think anyone's been like, you know, when women
make money, they're a lot more likely to sleep with their
fathers. But hey, I guess what that guy
was thinking is if you keep her from having money, she can't fly
down to make out with her brother.
You know that that makes sense to me.
I would do the exact same thing if I had a girlfriend.
No talking to your dad because Iknow you're going to try to make
out with him. So here we are.
But the real kicker, I guess thereal reason they broke up
(07:27):
because you know her, him thinking you're going to make
out with your dad isn't enough. No, no, no, he got arrested
because they went out to eat dinner and I guess their waiter
like flirted with her or winked at her or something.
I don't really know. I was not.
I was just listening for the teaguys, but the waiter was just
doing his job and was being niceto her.
So her boyfriend gets all aggro and punches the waiter in the
(07:48):
face and got arrested for battery?
Yeah, sign me up for that one too, dude.
I would not. If I was a waiter working for
minimum wage at IHOP and I had some aggro dude whose dad was a
Navy SEAL punching me in the face because I smiled at his
girlfriend. You bet I'd be pressing charges
too. No going to punch me in the face
while I'm working and get away with it.
Like look, we've all been in fights, we've all been a little
(08:08):
heated, but homeboy was literally just trying to do his
job. He wasn't hitting on your
girlfriend, he smiled at her andthis dudes response was just I
might as well punch him in the face.
I don't, I don't, I don't know what else to do, guys.
What else can I possibly do? There is no other solution to
this problem other than just winding up and punching him in
the face. So she's telling me all of this
and I'm just kind of sitting here like, wow, you pick
absolute winners. Her last boyfriend also got
(08:31):
arrested for having a meth lab, but that's a different story.
Basically, this girl just picks the the ultimate champions of
men, people that you want to reproduce with, people that you
want to give a chance to continue on their gene pool.
So, yeah, that's, that's my friend's ex-boyfriend, the guy
who thought his wife or his girlfriend, not his wife, was
going to cheat on him with her father and then punched a waiter
(08:51):
in the face for just doing his job.
But you know what? It doesn't end there, because
after he got out of jail, she actually got back together with
him. And, you know, I'm not really
sure what she was thinking, but a couple weeks later, they broke
up again because this time, instead of a waiter, he hit her.
And yes, you know, like, like she moved back home.
She lives at home now. We're kind of friends again.
(09:11):
It's still a little rocky because, you know, I, I just, I
don't know, it's just a weird situation.
Like, I'm, I'm sorry if you unfriend somebody because your
douchey boyfriend tells you to. I don't know what you want me to
do. And then move in with him and
then avoid all the red flags. You're like, Nah, he loves me
and it takes you this long to leave him.
I'm sorry. You're kind of just an idiot.
But on that note, guys, that's going to do it for the video.
(09:32):
Hopefully you enjoyed. If you did, be sure to press the
like button. Let me know in the comments
section down below what you thought of the video.
All that good stuff. And yeah, hopefully I'll see you
guys tomorrow with another video.
Don't get anyone pregnant. And if you do, make sure their
dad's not a Navy SEAL. The.
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