Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What's going on, guys? It's your boy scrub.
Here, back again with another video.
Hope you guys are all having an absolutely fantastic day.
I know I am. If you are, be sure to press the
like button. Otherwise, no joke, no scam.
I will be forced to tell your doctors that you are, in fact,
an alien and they will take you to Area 51 where you will be
incredibly, painfully dissected before they harvest your organs.
(00:21):
Yeah, they believe everything I say for some weird reason.
Today, I'm going to be telling you guys about the time that
this girl's dad tried to throw hands with me in a Chinese
restaurant. OK, I know what you're thinking,
Ryan. That sounds a little bit weird,
and that's because it was. It was a weird experience.
I really don't know how it's to explain it.
So, yeah, if you're interested in me getting yelled at and
Mandarin while someone's trying to punch me in the face, stay
tuned because you're going to have yourself a fantastic day.
(00:42):
Without further ado, let's get into the video now.
I have. A friend that I've known for a
while, you guys have heard of him?
His name is Grant. He's in some of my videos
sometime and he's probably my best friend.
And this guy, for whatever reason whenever he goes on a
date, ends up getting me in trouble somehow.
All right, I don't know if he's cursed.
I don't know if he. Accidentally spit on an Indian
in burial ground one time. But every time, this guy.
(01:02):
Goes on a. Date and I'm.
Involved in any capacity, something ends up going wrong
and that's where this story comes in, so.
My friend Grant. Tells me that he's dating this
girl and. She has a.
Friend and they want to go on a double date.
Apparently me and this girl's friend are going to be great
together. I'm going to have a great time.
We're going to hit it off. It's going to be great.
And for some reason I trust. My best friend, you know, I
think he's got my best interest at hearts.
(01:23):
I don't think that he's a brain lint who's actually consuming
nothing but raw chicken breasts and egg yolk.
So I'm like, yeah, OK, well. If the girl you're talking.
To wants to go on a double date and you think that we'd be good
together then I'm totally down. No big deal.
Like let's go on a double date. One thing.
That Grant failed to inform me of, though, is that the girl
that he was talking to still lived at home and had a really,
really strict dad who, like, didn't want her out past certain
(01:45):
times. And we're all adults now, so for
the most part, no one really hasa curfew.
Or at least that's how it shouldbe.
You know, when you're an adult, you should be able to make your
own decisions on when you're going to bed.
Call me crazy but he fails to inform me of this so.
The the date comes. And we meet up and her.
Friend is cute and we're. Getting along fine.
I'm not going to say like. Sparks were flying.
I was electrified. It felt like I was getting
interrogated with a car battery like.
(02:07):
Sparks weren't. Flying like that, you know, but
we were getting along. We're having ourselves a great
time. And as we get to the end of the
night of hanging out, it's aboutmidnight ish and we decide that
we're going to go to a Chinese restaurant.
And there's this Chinese restaurant a little bit away
from our house that's like open 24/7.
So you know, we decide we're going to head over there.
It's going to be no big deal, you know, like we're just gonna
eat some dinner and go our separate ways.
(02:28):
It's been a good time. It's been a good night.
We had a great date, the girl and I, Like I said, we got along
pretty well. I would have loved there to be a
second date if I wasn't absolutely traumatized.
But what happens next? But remember how I said earlier
how Grants girlfriend still lived at home and had a really
strict dad? So we will up to this Chinese
place and we get our table. And none.
Of the staff speaks very good English, All right.
They're all speaking like Mandarin.
(02:49):
I don't, I think that's the language that they speak.
Cantonese. In China, Cantonese are
Mandarin. They're all speaking that.
They don't speak super great English, which is no big deal.
I'm just trying to order some noodles, you know what I mean?
So we. Order our food and the next.
Thing we know, we hear like Cantonese are.
Mandarin screaming from the front of the the front of the
house. Like where the door?
Where you? Come in.
To the Chinese restaurant. And so I'm kind of perplexed.
(03:11):
I'm like, I have never heard such frantic yelling at
midnight. In a Chinese restaurant, this is
just not something I'm used to, so I look up.
And I see. This jacked white.
Dude in a tap out shirt. Actually looking like he just
fought John Cena with nothing but pliers and toothpicks.
Come hurling into. This Chinese restaurant
obviously looking for somebody and at 12. 30 it's not like.
Chinese restaurants are incredibly packed.
(03:32):
OK, so unless there's a secret mafia meeting in the.
Back this guy is. Definitely looking for one of
us, so he starts looking around.And he sees our table and he.
Just like comes striding over asfast as he.
Can and Grant, being the greatest friend to ever exist,
had had gone to the bathroom during this so I am the only.
Man sitting here. With two females, right?
(03:54):
And so the dad comes shredding up to me and just starts yelling
at me. He's like, who do you think you
are to keep my daughter out thislate?
I told you that she had a curfew.
I can't believe you'd be so disrespectful.
You know, I know that she's not here of her own free will.
You forced her to come here because she would have come home
because she knows how important curfews are.
And I'm like, dog, listen, firstof all, if I was going to kidnap
(04:15):
people, people, why would I bring them to a Chinese
restaurant at 12:30 in the morning to eat some chow Mein?
Like, I'm pretty sure kidnappersare a little more mean than
that. I've never met a kidnapper.
That's like, yeah, you know, I just wanted them to have some
sustenance. Got them some orange chicken,
some kung pao stuff. That way they're going to be a
little bit easier on the kidnapping.
Like, no, if I was kidnapping people, I'd be meaner.
Second of all, which one's your daughter, dude?
(04:37):
Because I only know one of thesechicks.
My friend's talking to the otherone.
And he's like, oh, yeah. Likely story.
If your friend's the one talkingto my daughter, then where is
he? Where is he?
Huh? I'm like the bathroom.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, sure,Sure he is.
You know, you're a terrible liar.
And I'm like, dog, I'm. I'm not lying.
I don't know what you want me todo.
Would you like me to produce hisurine sample?
Like, do you want me to go in there, catch some in my hands,
(04:58):
come back out and throw it in your face?
Because that's what you're asking me to do right now, man.
I don't know what you want me todo.
And the girl that Grant was dating starts being like, dad,
please leave. You're embarrassing me.
And and of course, every worker in the Chinese restaurant is
coming over trying to like separate us because this guy's
getting hated and he's yelling at me and he's calling me a
liar. And like, listen, OK, I'm I'm
all down for being respectful. But if you come in guns blazing
(05:19):
to a Chinese restaurant at 12:30screaming about how I'm trying
to kidnap your kid when I'm veryobviously sitting here calmly
drinking a Pepsi because they didn't have Coke, you're
delusional and I'm not going to respect you.
So this guy's like getting all heated with me.
So I'm not going to lie, I'm throwing some back.
I can be a bit of a smart aleck myself.
So he starts asking me like, whodo I think I am?
And I'm like, oh, I think that I'm your worst nightmare.
Like I'm just trolling this guy full swing.
(05:41):
But the problem with angry dads at 12:30 in the morning is that
when you're trolling them, they tend to escalate things a little
bit. So I'm just being a smart aleck.
And the daughters, like, calm down.
He's not even the one that I'm dating, like my dates in the
bathroom. And the guy just starts pushing
me, like shoving me a little bit.
And I'm like, Oh my God, am I actually going to have to fight
John Cena's stunt double right here in the middle of a Chinese
(06:01):
restaurant because this guy's 18times my size?
This guy looks like when he wakes up in the morning, he goes
and finds the nearest dump truckand just dumps whatever contents
are in the back end of his stomach for breakfast.
He doesn't care if it's metal. He doesn't care if it's
concrete. He's just dumping that into his
stomach because he's an absolutesavage who weighs like 700 lbs
of pure muscle. So he's shoving me and yelling
at me how I'm going to fight andwe're going to take this
(06:21):
outside. And he can't believe how
disrespectful I am. And I'm still like, dude, come
on. Like, I'm very obviously not
trying to be disrespectful here.And he's getting.
More and more angry the more I'mlaughing because I can't take
this guy seriously. Like it's 12:30.
I'm on a date with not even his daughter.
And this dude's pressing me like, I don't know, like I'm,
I'm trying to kidnap his daughter and take her to Taiwan.
So I'm laughing, which is makinghim even angrier.
(06:43):
And that's when he's like, that's it.
We're going outside and he grabsmy shirt collar and starts like
trying to pull me outside. And at this point, everybody in
the restaurant, like all the workers and stuff are, are in
Mandarin. And then he, he hears a word
that strikes fear into his heart, which is cops.
And as soon as he he hears the word police and like cops and
like we're going to call the police, he just books it out of
there, gets in his lifted truck and speeds away.
(07:04):
And all of this happens in the span of like 3 minutes.
So Grant comes back out the bathroom after taking his sweet
time peeing. I don't know if this man had a
kidney stone or like a prostate infection or what, but this guy
took 3 minutes to pee and come back outside with all that
hustle and bustle sees that liketables are moved, chairs are
moved and is like what is going on?
So I breakdown how apparently his dates dad does not know that
(07:25):
she's out past her curfew and heshould get her home immediately
because he just tried to square up in the middle of the Chinese
restaurant. And the the girl looks
increasingly embarrassed, which,like, yeah, that is pretty
embarrassing. Imagine you're going on a date
with this guy. You've been on a few dates.
Everything is going great. And then you go on a double date
with your friend and his best friend.
And your dad tries to fight his best friend.
It's not exactly a calming look.All right, Like, if, if I were
(07:46):
Grant, I would have run. He didn't because, you know, he,
he dates crazy chicks, but like,I would have run personally.
So and Grant looks confused and,and we start leaving and the
Chinese restaurant is obviously not too happy to keep us there.
So they're kind of pushing us out a little bit.
And I and I look at the girl that Grant stating and I'm like,
why did your dad leave so quick when they said cops?
And she goes, oh, he has warrants out for his arrest from
(08:08):
a felony he committed in like the early 90s.
And I'm like, so your dad committed a felony and then
thought it was a good idea to come to a public place and
threaten a 20 year old kid who'snot even dating your daughter.
And he and she's like, well, I never said he was smart, but
he's just my dad. And after that, you know, I went
home. We, we never did go on another
date. Grant kept dating the girl,
(08:29):
though. But I was like, Hey, you can't
bring it to our house anymore because I'm afraid her dad's
going to pull up. And I, I guess the dad later was
kind of like, I'm sorry, but that kid was disrespectful.
As if that makes it OK. Like bro, you came into this
Chinese restaurant trying to fight me, of course I'm going to
get sassy with you. What do you want me to do?
Sit there and be like, yes Sir, you are correct.
I'm not even the one dating yourdaughter.
But you are right. I should have taken her home
(08:50):
early. I wasn't even driving on the
date, bro, we were in Grant's car.
What do you want me to do, stealit?
No thank you. I'm not trying to get a felony
and not be able to fight in Chinese restaurant like you big
man. Anyways, I, I never did see the
girl's dad again. And I guess to this day he still
talks about that little punk that was being a smart Alec in
the Chinese restaurant. So moral of the story, ladies
and gentlemen, is that your bestfriend is probably going to date
(09:12):
a crazy chick whose dad tries tofight you in a Chinese
restaurant. You know, I don't make the
rules, I just followed them. Apparently it's a pretty common
trend. And yeah, you can be a smart
aleck because people screaming Mandarin will save police and
then he will run away because he's committed crimes in the
past. I don't really know how helpful
that's going to be in most of your guys's life, but if it ever
does come in handy, be sure to press the comment button and let
me know how that works out for you.
(09:32):
On that note, guys, that's goingto do it for the video.
I know my microphone sounds a little bit different.
It's because I'm in San Diego recording this stuff for you
guys right before I go to TwitchCon.
So I'm sorry that my mic does sound a little bit different,
but I would appreciate you guys pressing the like button.
Let me know the comments sectiondown below what you thought of
the video and if you enjoyed andif you're new B, you should have
pressed the notification bell because I upload stuff like this
(09:53):
every single day and you're not going to want to miss it in the
slightest. Today's notification shout out
goes to T sync 5 big ups to you for having on notifications.
If you want a notification shoutout, send me a screenshot of the
bell being on my Instagram at scrubby, which you should also
follow, and I shout somebody outevery day.
And on that note, have an absolutely incredible day.
I'm going to go fight a Chinese restaurant now.
Don't get anyone pregnant. If you do, make sure they're
hot. I'll see you guys tomorrow with
another video. I'm out.
(10:14):
Peace.