Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What is going on guys? It is your boy scrub here, back
again with another video. Hope you guys are all having an
absolutely fantastic supercalifragicalistic day.
I know that I am. And if you are, it's very
crucial to the purpose of this mission that you press the like
button. Otherwise, no joke, no scam.
This is not a joke, guys. You can't laugh.
(00:20):
Your grandma will sit on you until you starve.
Yeah, that's right guys. I actually hooked up with your
grandma about a week ago. I met her at bingo, and she told
me that if you didn't press the like button, she was just gonna
sit on you until you starved. I know what you're thinking,
Ryan. When did you start dating my
grandma? Trust me, it's not my fault.
OK? I met her at the bingo hall.
She looked lonely. I was lonely.
One thing led to another. It makes sense.
(00:42):
Be happy for your grandma, Billy.
Real talk, though. I hope you guys are all having
an absolutely fantastic day. I may not be in dating your
grandma, but I am about to entertain you for the next 15
minutes, which is basically the same thing.
Don't ask me how those things are related, because, honestly,
I can't tell you, but they are. Trust me.
But as you can tell from the title and thumbnail, ladies and
gentlemen, today I'm going to betelling you about my adventures
(01:04):
at a nursing home. When I was in high school, we
had to do a community service toget some extra credit points,
you know, and I wasn't exactly astudent that could ever deny
extra credit points. OK, I was a few light bulbs
short of being the brightest kidin the class if you're picking
up what I'm putting down. So any extra credit that I could
get, I would immediately take. So there was by my house, this
(01:24):
old folks home that I went up toand was like, hey, can I
volunteer and, you know, help you guys do stuff for old
people? Don't really know what this
entails, but I wanted extra credit, Dang it.
And obviously no business is going to be like, no, you can't
give us free work, you know, especially when it's old people,
because for some reason old people really love being
surrounded by young people. They're like, ah, you know, I
might be 80, but being surrounded by 17 year olds make
(01:47):
me feel like a surprise 65 year old man.
So yeah, they said that basically I could volunteer and
help out the old folks however Isaw fit.
And, you know, helping them meant a plethora of things.
You see, before I really startedhanging out at the old folks
home, I thought that helping oldpeople was definitely gonna be
like, oh, hey, do you need me tochew your food and feed you like
(02:07):
a baby bird or oh, hey, do you need someone to play Uno with
you? Oh, do you need someone to read
to you because you're blind? That's what I expected.
I expecting, you know, helping old people to basically be like
a Boy Scout in like a Disney movie.
All right, where he's like, hello, Sir, Would you like help
crossing the street? And the old man's like why, yes,
I would love help crossing the street.
You know, I expected it to be pretty normal.
(02:29):
Everything that that I had ever seen on TV about helping old
people. But what I found, ladies and
gentlemen, was not anything likewhat I expected.
You see, little did I know that old folks home are actually the
equivalent of an MTV reality show where everybody is 80 years
old. There's drama, there's fights,
there's parties, there's basically everything you could
possibly think of crammed into aplace where everybody single
(02:52):
handedly survived the Great Depression.
And it was not what I expected. But regardless, I really think
it's entertaining. So, yeah, let's get into it.
So the first day I get to this nursing home, right, I got my
reading glasses at the ready. I am ready to throw down and
bake cookies with so many grandmas.
And I walk in, and the lady's like, OK, today you're going to
be chilling with Leonard. And I know that Leonard's got to
(03:13):
be an old man because his name is Leonard, all right?
And everybody born after the year 1943 was never named
Leonard. I know one kid named Leonard in
the comments right now. He's like, my name is Leonard.
Nobody cares. OK, Come on.
Come on, man. I'm kidding.
I care about all of you. But Leonard is stereotypically
an old name. So I pull, and Leonard looks
like this old man who has seen some stuff.
(03:34):
All right? He looks like he's got some
stories. And one thing that I really love
about interacting with old people is the fact that they've
experienced a lot and they can tell crazy stories.
You know, I've kind of got a thing for stories.
That's why I have a channel dedicated to telling them.
I just feel like they're a really fun way to connect with
people and, like, understand what life used to be like, you
know? So I walk up to Leonard and I'm
like, hey, man, how you doing? And he immediately meets me with
(03:56):
like, this grumpy thing of, I don't need a helper.
I don't know why they assigned you to me.
I don't need anybody for anything.
And I'm like, all right, dog, listen, if you don't want me to
help you with anything, then like, I don't have to help you,
Leonard. But listen, if you need
anything, like I'm here, dog, ifyou just want to chit chat, hang
out, make a friend, like we can do that too.
And he's like, oh, you're not going to sit here and like, you
know, lecture me about the fact that it's bad that I chain smoke
(04:19):
cigarettes. And I'm like, yo, man, if you've
made it this far, Leonard, OK, you kind of look like you sat
behind Jesus in the 3rd grade. I'm pretty sure that you can do
whatever you want. And he's like, oh, OK, you're
one of these cool volunteers. And I was like, ah, thank you.
I have a distinction of being called cool by a man who fought
in World War 2. This man was storming the
beaches of Normandy when I wasn't even conceived yet.
And he thinks I'm cool, which automatically means I get about
(04:40):
plus 700 swag points, you know? So I started asking Leonard
about his life. And he starts telling me.
And come to find out, he's, you know, lived a pretty crazy life.
He's done some crazy things. And he's ended up in here
because, you know, he's a handful and his son doesn't want
to take care of him full time, which sucks.
But Leonard's like, it ain't toobad in here.
And I'm like, I don't know, man,it looks like it's pretty boring
(05:01):
because looking around, half thepeople in this room with me and
Leonard are either asleep, half asleep or possibly dead.
You know, everybody in here, definitely, definitely.
If they're falling asleep for too long, you start to get
nervous. All right, It is an old folks
home after all. But I don't see anybody having
fun. I don't see anybody laughing.
I don't see anybody trying to have a good time.
So I'm kind of like, you know, Leonard, you ain't got a cat.
Me, bro. I can tell that living in here
(05:22):
is probably not the best time ever.
And he's like, no, no, no, trustme.
Everybody just puts on the show until the night crew shows up.
You know, the nurses during the day actually, you know, care
about us and like, want us to stay under control.
So we just play along and act like nothing crazy is going on.
You'll see. As soon as the night crew get
here, things get a little bit wild.
And I'm like, oh, you know, OK. What is wild to an old man
(05:45):
though? In my head I'm like, Oh yeah,
things get wild, dude. Oh, we play 2 ball bingo.
We pick 2 balls out at once. Like I'm not expecting any of
them to actually have anything wild going on.
When an old man says that thingsget wild.
You're like, wow, women are allowed to wear skirts now?
You know, like, I wasn't really expecting anything to get
incredibly wild because I just didn't think old people had it
in them. And trust me, they've got it in
(06:07):
them. So around 5:00 PM, the people
that have been there since, you know, 7-8 AM start going home.
And the night crew shows up. And I'm kind of like, all right,
Leonard said, it's about to get crazy, so what's going to go
down? You know, I'm not really sure
what I'm about to expect. And so by 6:00 PM, most of the
day crew has gone home and the night crew has started to show
up. And this man walks over to
Leonard and says, Leonard, man, how you doing?
(06:28):
How are you? And Leonard looks at him and
goes, cut the crap, do you have my stuff?
And I'm like, your stuff. What do you mean, Leonard?
Like, come on, what? Your pain pills for your, like,
scoliosis. I don't know.
I don't know what old people got.
But like, what do you mean by stuff?
And he goes, yes, I do, Leonard.And he pulls out a bag and hands
Leonard a full bottle of Jack Daniels and says, now you know,
(06:50):
you can't tell the nurses duringthe day that I get this stuff
for you. And Leonard goes, yeah, I know.
We have an agreement, bro. The night crew shows up just
tossing bottles to every geriatric old person in here
dog. They were like, Ayo, it's time
to turn up part turn on party rock anthem.
The old people have to get turned.
And so Leonard kind of looks at me and winks a little bit and
goes, I told you that the night crew gets crazy and I'm like,
(07:11):
yeah, oh, OK. They just gave this old man who
looks like he could probably getknocked over by a feather a full
bottle of Jack Daniels and said we have an agreement.
Bruh, if that ain't the old people mafia, I don't know what
is. And so after that, Leonard says,
OK, come with me. So I follow him.
I'm pushing him in his wheelchair that he is in, by the
way, pushing him in his wheelchair to this room.
(07:33):
And so we're walking down the hallway where all the rooms are,
and people are saying, oh, hi, Leonard.
How you doing, Leonard? Got any plans for tonight,
Leonard? And Leonard's just kind of
smiling. And he's like, yeah, you know,
I'm going to do Leonard things. I don't know what Leonard things
are, OK, But it sounds super cool.
Like I wish I could refer to things as Ryan things.
Like imagine somebody's like, hey, what you doing?
You go, I'm going to go do a Rebecca.
And they're like, I know that Rebecca, Rebecca is a classy
(07:54):
lady, you know, I know exactly what Rebecca means.
That's just cool. If you start being able to refer
to the stuff you do as the Ryan and people know what you're
talking about, that means you'vegot at least 700 swag points on
lock. So I'm pushing Leonard, right,
inching down the hallway like a snail.
And he finally gets to this roomand he goes, this is my
girlfriend's room. And I'm like, I ain't Leonard.
I see you, bro. You got a girlfriend.
(08:15):
You in here, you got the bottle of Jack, you got the girlfriend.
What more do you need? You know what?
What more does a 90 year old manneeds?
And so I he goes, can you open the door?
So open the door and push him in.
His girlfriend so nice. You know she's talking to me.
Ohh, how old are you? What great are you in?
We have a great conversation. And then finally, you know,
Leonard looks at me. He goes, hey, we're going to
have some adult time. I'm not going to question it,
(08:37):
OK? I do not want to know what 2
wrinkly sacks of leather get up to when adult time is going on.
Can you stand outside and keep guard?
And I kind of look at him and I ask, you know, Leonard, you guys
are adults. You know, as weird as it is that
you have a bottle of Jack, as weird as it is that you need
adult time, like you guys are 90.
You can pretty much do what? Like you're adults, You know,
I'm not, I'm not your babysitter.
I'm a 15 year old kid. What do I know about keeping
(08:58):
watch and telling nurses what you're doing?
Like you're an adult, bro. You can pretty much do whatever
you want. And he's like, Oh, no, no, no,
no. The the staff doesn't care if we
have a old time. You know, they don't really care
about that at all. We're going to look out for her
husband. And I'm like, hold up, hold up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
I did not expect to get roped into this.
I came here to read to old people, OK?
(09:18):
I came here to help old people eat jello.
I did not know I was going to bethe lookout for an old person
affair. Bro, I feel like once I get to
82, whoever I'm married, I'm just stuck with, OK, Things
don't get better from there. But Leonard was like, Nah, dog
your wife. Q, I'm snatching.
I don't even care, bro. You pull up at your party, I'm
with my gang and it's going to be a robbery, so hide your
woman, OK? Because Leonard is really out
(09:40):
here stealing everybody's females, no questions given.
He was really like, yeah, I might be 90, but I'm still
capable of stealing your girlfriend, bro, and there's
nothing you can do about it. Hey, kid, go stand outside while
I, you know, have adult time with this dude's wife.
Then like, what am I supposed todo?
So I'm like, OK, because I'm 15 and I don't know what to do.
(10:01):
A 90 year old man tells you to stand in the hallway and look
out for this girl's husband. You're telling me you're going
to go? You know, Leonard, I question
the morality of sleeping with another man's like, no, you're
not going to do that. OK.
So I'm like, well, what does he look like?
And of course, I get the most generic description ever.
Oh, he's an old white dude. Thank you.
Thank you for that. It's not like every person in
this hallway is an old white dude.
(10:22):
So whatever. I go outside while Leonard and
his girlfriend get up to adult time, whatever that means.
You know, I'm. I'm going to pretend that I'm
APG family friendly. Christian Channel.
Amen. So after adult time, it's now
what, 8:00 PM? Like it's still pretty early by
most standards, but for old people time, that might as well
be two in the morning because Leonard rolls out and goes, OK,
(10:42):
now you know, it's it's time forus to go to bed.
And I'm like, it's 8:00 PM letter.
And he goes, you know, old people wake up early.
I've been up since 4:30 and I'm like, all right, dog, whatever
you got to do. You had adult time with your
lady. I don't really know what else
you're going to try to get up totonight.
And he goes. But before we go, you know, I, I
need you to take something with you, OK?
And I'm like, oh, no, what am I?What am I smuggling out of this
(11:03):
old folks home? OK, I did not come here to
become a mule for an old people trafficking ring.
And he hands me an empty bottle of Jack, the entire thing gone
and says, can you just throw this away when you get home?
And I'm like, why are you not allowed to throw it away here?
And he goes, well, we're allowedto drink, but I go through
basically a bottle of these a day.
So I think they would start to question if it's healthy.
(11:25):
So will you just throw it away from me?
And I'm like, Leonard Dog, you can't make me an accomplice and
everything you're doing wrong, OK?
Like, are you allowed to drink? And he's like, yeah, of course I
am. So I'm like, you know what?
Fine. I'm a trust Leonard, OK, He's
90. I don't know any better, bro.
I'm not a nurse. I've never worked in an old
folks home before. So I'm like, all right, dog bet.
So I take it with me. I throw it away.
I or I I haven't thrown away. I take it with me.
(11:47):
You know, I push Leonard to his room and from there he's like,
hey, you just got to go find a nurse and they'll get me ready
for bed or whatever. So I'm like, OK, I go in the
hallway. The same nurse that gave, you
know, the bottle of Jack to Leonard is there and I walk up
to him. I go, hey, man.
And Leonard says he's ready to get to bed.
Like he says that you're going to help him.
And the guy goes, Oh yes, I loveLeonard, you know, and and comes
(12:08):
in, gets Leonard ready for bed. And before I leave, I'm like,
yo, Leonard, do you need anything else?
Do you want water? Do you need anything?
And Leonard goes, no, no, I don't need anything.
But when's the next time you're volunteering?
And I go, I don't know, probablylike next week.
And Leonard looks at me and seriously as possible, like as
seriously as humanly possible goes, you're my wing man now.
(12:28):
You're my assistant. You're the only cool person
that's volunteered here in a while.
So you work with me. You got it.
And I'm like, yeah, OK. I I I'm sure, I yeah, sure.
Whenever, whenever I'm here, yes, I will work for you,
Leonard. And he goes, yeah, you're about
to see how this place really works, man.
And I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no.
In my first day here, I've witnessed an old man get a
bottle of Jack smuggled to him by his caretaker.
(12:50):
I've had to stand outside and keep watch while Leonard has
adult time with somebody else's wife.
And he's telling me that this isjust the beginning of my
adventures in the old folks home.
Not gonna cap. I did learn quite a bit,
Leonard, if you're watching this, which I highly doubt
because I had to teach you how to do basically everything with
technology, you taught me a lot and I greatly appreciate the
adventures that you showed me. So old folks homes are
(13:12):
definitely not what they appear to be, ladies and gentlemen, and
this is just the beginning. If you guys want more of my
adventures at the old folks home, I'm more than happy to
tell them. I just don't know if you guys
are really going to like, love it.
So this was just the beginning to see if you guys would be
receptive to more of these. If you are, let me know.
But yeah, on that note, don't get anyone pregnant.
If you do, make sure they're hot.
(13:32):
Today's notification shout out goes to a very swag tastic artsy
doll. Big shout out to you for having
on notifications. If you want notification shout
out, turn on notification, send a screenshot to me on Instagram
at Scrubby, which you should follow by the way.
And yeah, hopefully I'll see youguys tomorrow with another
video. I'm out.
Peace. I'm gonna go chill with Leonard
and, you know, smuggle some stuff into an old folks home
(13:54):
because that's apparently what all the kids are doing these
days.
What is going on guys? It is your boy scrub here, back
again with another video. Hope you guys are all having an
absolutely fantastic supercalifragicalistic day.
I know that I am. And if you are, it's very
crucial to the purpose of this mission that you press the like
button. Otherwise, no joke, no scam.
This is not a joke, guys. You can't laugh.
(00:20):
Your grandma will sit on you until you starve.
Yeah, that's right guys. I actually hooked up with your
grandma about a week ago. I met her at bingo, and she told
me that if you didn't press the like button, she was just gonna
sit on you until you starved. I know what you're thinking,
Ryan. When did you start dating my
grandma? Trust me, it's not my fault.
OK? I met her at the bingo hall.
She looked lonely. I was lonely.
One thing led to another. It makes sense.
(00:42):
Be happy for your grandma, Billy.
Real talk, though. I hope you guys are all having
an absolutely fantastic day. I may not be in dating your
grandma, but I am about to entertain you for the next 15
minutes, which is basically the same thing.
Don't ask me how those things are related, because, honestly,
I can't tell you, but they are. Trust me.
But as you can tell from the title and thumbnail, ladies and
gentlemen, today I'm going to betelling you about my adventures
(01:04):
at a nursing home. When I was in high school, we
had to do a community service toget some extra credit points,
you know, and I wasn't exactly astudent that could ever deny
extra credit points. OK, I was a few light bulbs
short of being the brightest kidin the class if you're picking
up what I'm putting down. So any extra credit that I could
get, I would immediately take. So there was by my house, this
(01:24):
old folks home that I went up toand was like, hey, can I
volunteer and, you know, help you guys do stuff for old
people? Don't really know what this
entails, but I wanted extra credit, Dang it.
And obviously no business is going to be like, no, you can't
give us free work, you know, especially when it's old people,
because for some reason old people really love being
surrounded by young people. They're like, ah, you know, I
might be 80, but being surrounded by 17 year olds make
(01:47):
me feel like a surprise 65 year old man.
So yeah, they said that basically I could volunteer and
help out the old folks however Isaw fit.
And, you know, helping them meant a plethora of things.
You see, before I really startedhanging out at the old folks
home, I thought that helping oldpeople was definitely gonna be
like, oh, hey, do you need me tochew your food and feed you like
(02:07):
a baby bird or oh, hey, do you need someone to play Uno with
you? Oh, do you need someone to read
to you because you're blind? That's what I expected.
I expecting, you know, helping old people to basically be like
a Boy Scout in like a Disney movie.
All right, where he's like, hello, Sir, Would you like help
crossing the street? And the old man's like why, yes,
I would love help crossing the street.
You know, I expected it to be pretty normal.
(02:29):
Everything that that I had ever seen on TV about helping old
people. But what I found, ladies and
gentlemen, was not anything likewhat I expected.
You see, little did I know that old folks home are actually the
equivalent of an MTV reality show where everybody is 80 years
old. There's drama, there's fights,
there's parties, there's basically everything you could
possibly think of crammed into aplace where everybody single
(02:52):
handedly survived the Great Depression.
And it was not what I expected. But regardless, I really think
it's entertaining. So, yeah, let's get into it.
So the first day I get to this nursing home, right, I got my
reading glasses at the ready. I am ready to throw down and
bake cookies with so many grandmas.
And I walk in, and the lady's like, OK, today you're going to
be chilling with Leonard. And I know that Leonard's got to
(03:13):
be an old man because his name is Leonard, all right?
And everybody born after the year 1943 was never named
Leonard. I know one kid named Leonard in
the comments right now. He's like, my name is Leonard.
Nobody cares. OK, Come on.
Come on, man. I'm kidding.
I care about all of you. But Leonard is stereotypically
an old name. So I pull, and Leonard looks
like this old man who has seen some stuff.
(03:34):
All right? He looks like he's got some
stories. And one thing that I really love
about interacting with old people is the fact that they've
experienced a lot and they can tell crazy stories.
You know, I've kind of got a thing for stories.
That's why I have a channel dedicated to telling them.
I just feel like they're a really fun way to connect with
people and, like, understand what life used to be like, you
know? So I walk up to Leonard and I'm
like, hey, man, how you doing? And he immediately meets me with
(03:56):
like, this grumpy thing of, I don't need a helper.
I don't know why they assigned you to me.
I don't need anybody for anything.
And I'm like, all right, dog, listen, if you don't want me to
help you with anything, then like, I don't have to help you,
Leonard. But listen, if you need
anything, like I'm here, dog, ifyou just want to chit chat, hang
out, make a friend, like we can do that too.
And he's like, oh, you're not going to sit here and like, you
know, lecture me about the fact that it's bad that I chain smoke
(04:19):
cigarettes. And I'm like, yo, man, if you've
made it this far, Leonard, OK, you kind of look like you sat
behind Jesus in the 3rd grade. I'm pretty sure that you can do
whatever you want. And he's like, oh, OK, you're
one of these cool volunteers. And I was like, ah, thank you.
I have a distinction of being called cool by a man who fought
in World War 2. This man was storming the
beaches of Normandy when I wasn't even conceived yet.
And he thinks I'm cool, which automatically means I get about
(04:40):
plus 700 swag points, you know? So I started asking Leonard
about his life. And he starts telling me.
And come to find out, he's, you know, lived a pretty crazy life.
He's done some crazy things. And he's ended up in here
because, you know, he's a handful and his son doesn't want
to take care of him full time, which sucks.
But Leonard's like, it ain't toobad in here.
And I'm like, I don't know, man,it looks like it's pretty boring
(05:01):
because looking around, half thepeople in this room with me and
Leonard are either asleep, half asleep or possibly dead.
You know, everybody in here, definitely, definitely.
If they're falling asleep for too long, you start to get
nervous. All right, It is an old folks
home after all. But I don't see anybody having
fun. I don't see anybody laughing.
I don't see anybody trying to have a good time.
So I'm kind of like, you know, Leonard, you ain't got a cat.
Me, bro. I can tell that living in here
(05:22):
is probably not the best time ever.
And he's like, no, no, no, trustme.
Everybody just puts on the show until the night crew shows up.
You know, the nurses during the day actually, you know, care
about us and like, want us to stay under control.
So we just play along and act like nothing crazy is going on.
You'll see. As soon as the night crew get
here, things get a little bit wild.
And I'm like, oh, you know, OK. What is wild to an old man
(05:45):
though? In my head I'm like, Oh yeah,
things get wild, dude. Oh, we play 2 ball bingo.
We pick 2 balls out at once. Like I'm not expecting any of
them to actually have anything wild going on.
When an old man says that thingsget wild.
You're like, wow, women are allowed to wear skirts now?
You know, like, I wasn't really expecting anything to get
incredibly wild because I just didn't think old people had it
in them. And trust me, they've got it in
(06:07):
them. So around 5:00 PM, the people
that have been there since, you know, 7-8 AM start going home.
And the night crew shows up. And I'm kind of like, all right,
Leonard said, it's about to get crazy, so what's going to go
down? You know, I'm not really sure
what I'm about to expect. And so by 6:00 PM, most of the
day crew has gone home and the night crew has started to show
up. And this man walks over to
Leonard and says, Leonard, man, how you doing?
(06:28):
How are you? And Leonard looks at him and
goes, cut the crap, do you have my stuff?
And I'm like, your stuff. What do you mean, Leonard?
Like, come on, what? Your pain pills for your, like,
scoliosis. I don't know.
I don't know what old people got.
But like, what do you mean by stuff?
And he goes, yes, I do, Leonard.And he pulls out a bag and hands
Leonard a full bottle of Jack Daniels and says, now you know,
(06:50):
you can't tell the nurses duringthe day that I get this stuff
for you. And Leonard goes, yeah, I know.
We have an agreement, bro. The night crew shows up just
tossing bottles to every geriatric old person in here
dog. They were like, Ayo, it's time
to turn up part turn on party rock anthem.
The old people have to get turned.
And so Leonard kind of looks at me and winks a little bit and
goes, I told you that the night crew gets crazy and I'm like,
(07:11):
yeah, oh, OK. They just gave this old man who
looks like he could probably getknocked over by a feather a full
bottle of Jack Daniels and said we have an agreement.
Bruh, if that ain't the old people mafia, I don't know what
is. And so after that, Leonard says,
OK, come with me. So I follow him.
I'm pushing him in his wheelchair that he is in, by the
way, pushing him in his wheelchair to this room.
(07:33):
And so we're walking down the hallway where all the rooms are,
and people are saying, oh, hi, Leonard.
How you doing, Leonard? Got any plans for tonight,
Leonard? And Leonard's just kind of
smiling. And he's like, yeah, you know,
I'm going to do Leonard things. I don't know what Leonard things
are, OK, But it sounds super cool.
Like I wish I could refer to things as Ryan things.
Like imagine somebody's like, hey, what you doing?
You go, I'm going to go do a Rebecca.
And they're like, I know that Rebecca, Rebecca is a classy
(07:54):
lady, you know, I know exactly what Rebecca means.
That's just cool. If you start being able to refer
to the stuff you do as the Ryan and people know what you're
talking about, that means you'vegot at least 700 swag points on
lock. So I'm pushing Leonard, right,
inching down the hallway like a snail.
And he finally gets to this roomand he goes, this is my
girlfriend's room. And I'm like, I ain't Leonard.
I see you, bro. You got a girlfriend.
(08:15):
You in here, you got the bottle of Jack, you got the girlfriend.
What more do you need? You know what?
What more does a 90 year old manneeds?
And so I he goes, can you open the door?
So open the door and push him in.
His girlfriend so nice. You know she's talking to me.
Ohh, how old are you? What great are you in?
We have a great conversation. And then finally, you know,
Leonard looks at me. He goes, hey, we're going to
have some adult time. I'm not going to question it,
(08:37):
OK? I do not want to know what 2
wrinkly sacks of leather get up to when adult time is going on.
Can you stand outside and keep guard?
And I kind of look at him and I ask, you know, Leonard, you guys
are adults. You know, as weird as it is that
you have a bottle of Jack, as weird as it is that you need
adult time, like you guys are 90.
You can pretty much do what? Like you're adults, You know,
I'm not, I'm not your babysitter.
I'm a 15 year old kid. What do I know about keeping
(08:58):
watch and telling nurses what you're doing?
Like you're an adult, bro. You can pretty much do whatever
you want. And he's like, Oh, no, no, no,
no. The the staff doesn't care if we
have a old time. You know, they don't really care
about that at all. We're going to look out for her
husband. And I'm like, hold up, hold up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
I did not expect to get roped into this.
I came here to read to old people, OK?
(09:18):
I came here to help old people eat jello.
I did not know I was going to bethe lookout for an old person
affair. Bro, I feel like once I get to
82, whoever I'm married, I'm just stuck with, OK, Things
don't get better from there. But Leonard was like, Nah, dog
your wife. Q, I'm snatching.
I don't even care, bro. You pull up at your party, I'm
with my gang and it's going to be a robbery, so hide your
woman, OK? Because Leonard is really out
(09:40):
here stealing everybody's females, no questions given.
He was really like, yeah, I might be 90, but I'm still
capable of stealing your girlfriend, bro, and there's
nothing you can do about it. Hey, kid, go stand outside while
I, you know, have adult time with this dude's wife.
Then like, what am I supposed todo?
So I'm like, OK, because I'm 15 and I don't know what to do.
(10:01):
A 90 year old man tells you to stand in the hallway and look
out for this girl's husband. You're telling me you're going
to go? You know, Leonard, I question
the morality of sleeping with another man's like, no, you're
not going to do that. OK.
So I'm like, well, what does he look like?
And of course, I get the most generic description ever.
Oh, he's an old white dude. Thank you.
Thank you for that. It's not like every person in
this hallway is an old white dude.
(10:22):
So whatever. I go outside while Leonard and
his girlfriend get up to adult time, whatever that means.
You know, I'm. I'm going to pretend that I'm
APG family friendly. Christian Channel.
Amen. So after adult time, it's now
what, 8:00 PM? Like it's still pretty early by
most standards, but for old people time, that might as well
be two in the morning because Leonard rolls out and goes, OK,
(10:42):
now you know, it's it's time forus to go to bed.
And I'm like, it's 8:00 PM letter.
And he goes, you know, old people wake up early.
I've been up since 4:30 and I'm like, all right, dog, whatever
you got to do. You had adult time with your
lady. I don't really know what else
you're going to try to get up totonight.
And he goes. But before we go, you know, I, I
need you to take something with you, OK?
And I'm like, oh, no, what am I?What am I smuggling out of this
(11:03):
old folks home? OK, I did not come here to
become a mule for an old people trafficking ring.
And he hands me an empty bottle of Jack, the entire thing gone
and says, can you just throw this away when you get home?
And I'm like, why are you not allowed to throw it away here?
And he goes, well, we're allowedto drink, but I go through
basically a bottle of these a day.
So I think they would start to question if it's healthy.
(11:25):
So will you just throw it away from me?
And I'm like, Leonard Dog, you can't make me an accomplice and
everything you're doing wrong, OK?
Like, are you allowed to drink? And he's like, yeah, of course I
am. So I'm like, you know what?
Fine. I'm a trust Leonard, OK, He's
90. I don't know any better, bro.
I'm not a nurse. I've never worked in an old
folks home before. So I'm like, all right, dog bet.
So I take it with me. I throw it away.
I or I I haven't thrown away. I take it with me.
(11:47):
You know, I push Leonard to his room and from there he's like,
hey, you just got to go find a nurse and they'll get me ready
for bed or whatever. So I'm like, OK, I go in the
hallway. The same nurse that gave, you
know, the bottle of Jack to Leonard is there and I walk up
to him. I go, hey, man.
And Leonard says he's ready to get to bed.
Like he says that you're going to help him.
And the guy goes, Oh yes, I loveLeonard, you know, and and comes
(12:08):
in, gets Leonard ready for bed. And before I leave, I'm like,
yo, Leonard, do you need anything else?
Do you want water? Do you need anything?
And Leonard goes, no, no, I don't need anything.
But when's the next time you're volunteering?
And I go, I don't know, probablylike next week.
And Leonard looks at me and seriously as possible, like as
seriously as humanly possible goes, you're my wing man now.
(12:28):
You're my assistant. You're the only cool person
that's volunteered here in a while.
So you work with me. You got it.
And I'm like, yeah, OK. I I I'm sure, I yeah, sure.
Whenever, whenever I'm here, yes, I will work for you,
Leonard. And he goes, yeah, you're about
to see how this place really works, man.
And I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no.
In my first day here, I've witnessed an old man get a
bottle of Jack smuggled to him by his caretaker.
(12:50):
I've had to stand outside and keep watch while Leonard has
adult time with somebody else's wife.
And he's telling me that this isjust the beginning of my
adventures in the old folks home.
Not gonna cap. I did learn quite a bit,
Leonard, if you're watching this, which I highly doubt
because I had to teach you how to do basically everything with
technology, you taught me a lot and I greatly appreciate the
adventures that you showed me. So old folks homes are
(13:12):
definitely not what they appear to be, ladies and gentlemen, and
this is just the beginning. If you guys want more of my
adventures at the old folks home, I'm more than happy to
tell them. I just don't know if you guys
are really going to like, love it.
So this was just the beginning to see if you guys would be
receptive to more of these. If you are, let me know.
But yeah, on that note, don't get anyone pregnant.
If you do, make sure they're hot.
(13:32):
Today's notification shout out goes to a very swag tastic artsy
doll. Big shout out to you for having
on notifications. If you want notification shout
out, turn on notification, send a screenshot to me on Instagram
at Scrubby, which you should follow by the way.
And yeah, hopefully I'll see youguys tomorrow with another
video. I'm out.
Peace. I'm gonna go chill with Leonard
and, you know, smuggle some stuff into an old folks home
(13:54):
because that's apparently what all the kids are doing these
days.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.