April 24, 2025 • 40 mins
Ever wondered what happens when a Barbie doll takes an unintended journey into places it shouldn't go? This episode delivers an unexpected yet surprisingly educational anatomy lesson that might just save someone from an embarrassing trip to the ER.
Kelli kicks things off with a relatable rant about entitled behavior at the school bus stop, setting the tone for this unfiltered conversation between mom and son. When Mac shares his own school bus drama, it sparks a thoughtful discussion about respect and consequences that resonates with parents everywhere. But things take a memorable turn when Kelli drops a jaw-dropping medical story that leads to crucial anatomical distinctions everyone should understand but few discuss openly.
Between homestead updates featuring Kelli's adorable new bunnies (Trixie, Pixie, and Dixie) and baby chickens adjusting to outdoor life, the pair shares their current entertainment recommendations. Kelli's impressive reading list reveals her appetite for psychological thrillers, while their shared viewing habits show their eclectic taste ranges from "The Walking Dead" to "White Lotus." Their authentic enthusiasm for Magic Mind performance shots provides testimonial evidence of the benefits they've experienced firsthand.
The Easter weekend recap offers a heartwarming glimpse into their non-traditional plans, with bookstore adventures and food-filled gatherings that will have you reminiscing about your own holiday celebrations. Their playful "Which is Worse" game and Mac's confusion over a robot joke showcase the natural chemistry that makes their conversations so engaging.
Don't miss the special bonus at the end – Kelli's radio appearance on 102.9 the Wolf featuring the hilarious saga of Dolly Carton the chicken's narrow escape from becoming dinner.
Follow us on social media, rate and review the podcast.
Use our code OOBB20 for 20% off Magic Mind to experience the mental boost Kelli and Mac swear by!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to Honor and Best Behavior.
You're here with Mac and Kelly,what up?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
MacDog Loves.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Nothing, okay.
Well, let me tell you a fewthings that I have going on.
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Every morning.
Every morning on my way to work, I happen to meet this bus and
the bus is stopping and pickingup all the kids at the bus stop.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
My bus stop.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
This comes before your bus stop, before your bus
picks you up.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Anyway, the kids are all in the line and every day
there's this one entitled littlebrat who just starts coming out
of her door after everyone'salready got on the bus, makes
the bus wait for her as shelollygags across the street
looking at her phone Everyone'swaiting.
Now, when I was a kid, you madesure your ass was out there at
(01:01):
the bus stop because no busdriver was waiting for you.
If you weren't there and ready,snooze, you lose, find another
ride.
So anyway, drives me crazy.
It's my pet peeve Every morning.
This girl does not get her assin gear.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So don't be that person.
It's not that hard.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
All right.
You told me speaking of buses.
You told me speaking of buses.
You told me that somebody gotkicked off your bus.
Oh, yeah, that was interestingwhat are you gonna tell me us
about it?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
yeah, okay, so like, anyways, right, like I don't
know what he was doing again.
Well, it was like after school,like the activity bus, no, like
when everyone's leaving to go,like home and like he was like
yeah, he was like picking onsomeone.
I don't know what happenedbecause I like I don't know were
(01:55):
you there?
No, I wasn't there when ithappened, but I was there and,
like the bus driver and the kidwere arguing oh, was that?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
exciting I guess yeah was the kid talking back to the
bus driver?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
yeah rude.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
What is wrong?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
with the world.
And then, like she like calledI don't even know what it's
called, but like assistant,something okay, like and she was
like, oh, they're gonna talk toyou and the motherfucker got
kicked off the bus for how long?
And of course it's the fuckingretarded motherfucker that vapes
at her bus stop and he's socool you can't say the r word.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I mean, it's fucking true, I'm not wrong well
, people, this I'm gonna, I'mgonna go out on a limb and say
that people who act it.
I know that's fine, people whoact entitled like that's.
It's rude.
Like think about how you wouldfeel if people treated you like
that?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Andy's one of the kids that freaking smokes weed
on the bus.
You're not cool, little bro.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Not cool.
Also, it's not cool to pick onyounger kids Not cool, all right
.
And we all know, right throughmany years of research and
looking into bullying and makingit more in your face, we know
that the kids that bully peopleor make fun of people or make
bad choices don't always havethe best life situation.
(03:10):
But let's learn from thatpeople and try to be nice and
try to be better.
All right, I have a funny storyfor you.
What is that?
Okay, I didn't tell you thisbecause I was saving it for the
podcast, but one of my friendsat work her husband works at ER
overnight and it's in the city,not up here.
(03:31):
And anyway, this guy came inbecause he had a Barbie fully
submerged up his butthole andhad to undergo surgery to get it
out.
Feed in first, if you know whatI mean.
Like the Barbie doll.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, oh my fucking God, what the hell.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So, anyway, just remember.
So here's my medical lesson foreveryone today.
Your butt does not have an end.
It goes and goes and goes.
You have 20 plus feet ofintestines, and if you put
something in your butt without ahandle or a string to pull it
(04:11):
out, it's not coming out, itain't coming back, your butt
kind of sucks it up in there andit ain't coming out.
So your vagina now.
I know you're rolling your eyes, but the vagina does have an
end.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
It is a vault and it ends, so that's why you can go
as in like a vault door yeah,well, it's like a you go in,
okay, and then there's like aspace yeah and then there's your
cervix, your uterus.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So there's an end like you can't.
You can't lose something inyour body through your vagina.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Well, yeah, because it's just.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Because it's just a space.
Yeah so like, let's say, youput something up in your vagina.
This happens often.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
People lose tampons in their vagina, well, and you
just get a bad infection.
If you never got it out, well,if you never got it out.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
yes, you can get toxic shock syndrome, which can
lead to sepsis, which you canalso like just get a really bad
vaginal infection.
You can get really like stinkydown there, Like usually it
feels like you pull a rat out ofthere that died.
It's real bad stinky.
But anyway, it's very commonthat people put tampons in and
can't get them out, and guesswhat.
They just come on into theclinic and we put a speculum in,
(05:17):
pull it right out.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Has that ever happened to you?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
It's happened to me once or twice.
Yes, Wendy has pulled out atampon for me once or twice in
my life, oh my God.
So how does?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
it even happen Like wait, do you sleep with a tampon
in?
I do, yeah, Was it even for you?
I forgot your period.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Okay so.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And, like your body, just sucks it in.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Well, you insert it through the far.
Sometimes it gets like it canturn in there, like if you're
trying to put it in too deep andyour vault's not deep enough
and you kind of like turn it andwedge it and the string gets
lost.
Sometimes you can like reachyour finger up in there and like
swipe it out and grab it, butsometimes you can't.
Or sometimes like you go topull the string and the string
detaches from the tampon and youyou're like, oh, fuck.
(06:03):
But now they also have menstrualdiscs and diva cups in people
and the NuvaRing is a birthcontrol method and a lot of
people can just reach up inthere and pull it in and out.
I'm not that's not my specialtyI'm not good at putting things
in my vagina and pulling themout without a string.
But anyway, moral of the story.
Anyway, moral of the story.
The butt is not a vagina.
(06:25):
Don't put things in your buttat all.
It's not meant for things to goin there, not even wieners,
nothing.
Stay out of the butt.
There's also a thing called arectocele where when you put
things in your butt or like havea lot of sorry Mac, you plug
your ears earmuffs anal sex youwill start to pull the rectum
out of the anus and then youhave a rectocele and then your
(06:47):
butt is coming out of your butt.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So your butt is coming, google it yes, it's a
real thing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So those are the things that young people aren't
thinking about.
And also hpv right, hpv?
You semen spreaders.
You put that in the butt now.
Now you gave somebody analcancer, so that's how you get it
.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yes, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yes so stay out of the butt, keep it in the front,
out of the butt keep it in thefront, oh my god, and always
wear a condom.
Thank you, okay, you know Ihaven't.
I feel like I haven't had ashout out in a little bit, so I
really want you guys to follow.
If you you don't already, or ifyou're new to On Our Best
Behavior, please follow us onFacebook, instagram.
(07:28):
We do have a TikTok.
However, it's mostly just meand my chickens, but make sure
you like our page, follow us.
Share.
It's free to share when we postnew episodes.
If you're listening on ApplePodcasts or Spotify, please at
least hit that five-star rating.
If you want to say some reallynice things about us, we are
(07:50):
very open to that too.
Bless you, bless you, holy crap.
Somebody told me that if yousneeze six times in a row, that
is equivalent to an orgasm.
Just so you know.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
What the?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
hell yeah, it releases the same chemical when
you sneeze as when you orgasm,so sneezing does feel kind of
good, if you think about it.
Alright, so yes, so get on thatFreaking, contagious, sorry.
Okay, what are you watching?
What are you reading, what areyou playing?
So what do you want to startwith?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
What are you watching ?
Are you reading?
What are you playing?
So what do you want to?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
start with, what are you watching?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
what am?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I watching sling blade, that's what?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
it sounds okay funny what am I watching?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
do you want?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
me to help you.
Yeah, walking dead.
Yeah, what season are you onnow?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
yeah, what season are you on now?
You've really I'm almost donewith season four.
Okay, yeah, the last of us wewatched one episode.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
There's another one out, we have to watch.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, we should watch it, dexter.
I think we are almost on seasonfour yeah, we're like,
basically we're like at the endof season three I just finished
season one of white lotus.
Oh, I don't think you watch it.
It's where they're at the hotel.
Have you seen me watch this?
I don't think I have so, anyway,I'm gonna watch episode or
season two of that next.
Are you reading anything orwatching anything else?
(09:13):
Nah you reading anything?
Nah all right.
Since we recorded last, I'veread one, two, three, three
books, and I'm on the next one.
So, since we talked, last Ifinished a court of mist and
fury, which is book two of thewhole court fantasy audiobook I
mackie, I always audiobookbecause I I think, kudos to you
(09:37):
if you read.
But I feel like if I can readand do other things at the same
time, like that is a win,because I feel so nonproductive
if I just sit down and read LikeI think, like oh, I just read
for two hours and I didn't doanything else.
But I clean my house and I read, I do my laundry and I read, I
(10:00):
can mow the grass and read, Ican drive and read.
I can do anything and read atthe same time and I really can
play my farm game and read, butsure.
Okay, fine, I'm just, at least Iread something or listen, at
least I listen.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I listen to something it's called comms.
What's that?
A game?
A game it's sound effects LikeI know what to do.
Let's hear some of the soundeffects that you've learned
recently no, I don't know thesound effects, just it's just
like sound cues all right, fine,like what?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
uh, the next book that I read since we listened is
called the arrangement and isso good.
It's by this author.
Her name is robin harding, andI really have liked every book
of hers that I've read, but thisone is really.
It's about this girl who's incollege.
She's like 21.
She is really struggling to payher bills and she ends up
(10:54):
finding out her other friend isa sugar baby.
What?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
the hell.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And there is a website where you can find a
sugar daddy and they pay you Xamount of dollars a month to
just kind of hang out with them,go to dinner with them, help
them spend their time, andsometimes it can be a sexual
level.
But it's up to you what youwant to do.
Anyway, there's a big twist andturn so go ahead and check that
(11:20):
one out, for sure.
I also recently finished.
This is a series by.
Jennifer Hillier, and the firstone was Creep, which I thought
was really good, and the secondone is called Freak, and I
didn't like it as much as thefirst one, and I think that
there's one more book in theseries, so of course, I'll have
to finish that.
And right now I'm reading areally good book by an author
(11:43):
I've never read before, and it'scalled the Intended Victim, and
it's by an author namedAlexandra Ivey, and this book is
about a serial killer and hehas an intended victim hence the
name of the book that he isafter, and so what he does is he
finds other people thatresemble her appearance and then
(12:04):
he performs operations on themto look even more like her, and
so, yeah, I'm not done with it,but it's good, it's good.
What are you playing?
What's on your gaming radar?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Okay, what?
What's on my gaming radar?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, what are you gaming right now?
What's the game?
You're playing?
The same one as last time orsomething different.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Literally the same thing.
What are you?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
playing what's it?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
called.
I don't even know what I'mplaying anymore.
I'm going to be honest.
I just play whatever someonewants to play.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Did you play any video games today?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Nope, not yet.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
What were you and Logan doing?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I don't even know.
Logan was playing BuckCharlotte oh on the PC.
Yeah, and you were, and I wasjust watching him play oh okay,
all right, so something excitinghappened, uh-oh.
I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Our Magic Minds subscription showed up yesterday
just on time, and today, youknow, I bring some to work.
I told, told you before.
I keep it in my car, in my deskat work, in the fridge, at home
, everywhere in my purse,because sometimes I just need
that little pick me up and bylittle.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I mean a big boost.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
So our subscription showed up today.
So I'm super happy that I canrefill all my places today.
I really needed that boost atabout 230.
So I just whipped out my mentalperformance shot and instant I
swear instantly felt better.
And one of my coworkers she waslike I can't wake up, I'm so
tired.
I'm like do you want some MagicMind?
(13:37):
And she's like I feel bad.
And I said, well, you shouldfeel bad, quit taking it from me
and buy your own.
You should feel bad, quittaking it from me and buy your
own, because right now you canuse our code and receive 20% off
on a one-time purchase, or upto 48% off with a subscription.
Now, let me tell you that isless than $4 for one bottle.
(13:59):
And you can use our code OOBBfor On Our Best Behavior, lt20,
to receive the discount.
And let me tell you one of thethings that I have really grown
to love about Magic Mind isusually, if I need a pick-me-up
like that's, I'm going to gonext door to the coffee shop and
get a coffee.
It's $7.
(14:20):
Sometimes it tastes good,sometimes it doesn't, and I have
to like make time to go overthere.
How many?
It's like a shot, so it's likemaybe two, three ounces, I don't
even know.
Anyway, it's quick, it tastes Idon't want to say it tastes
good, but it doesn't taste badand it's cheaper than a coffee
(14:42):
and it's instant, like if youare a seen as believing person,
like I'm telling you people, seeme, do it, take the mental
performance shot and bam, like Iam a different person.
And so I'm telling you, I mean,if you know me, duh, and if you
don't know me, you should.
And you should really listen tome and check out Magic Mind, at
(15:05):
least look it up.
There's 100% money backguarantee if you don't like it,
because you will like it and youwill see how much it works.
So Magic Mind is also reallygreat for a variety of creators,
including myself, contentcreators, including gamers like
(15:31):
Mackie, writers, artists andeven us shift workers.
I mean, I typically need mymagic mind at my normal nine to
five job, so, and I feel like itdoesn't like make you stay up
late at night, Like it doesn'tkeep me awake, Like sometimes if
people have caffeine, they'llhave a hard time falling asleep,
but not with magic mind.
And it has one of my favoriteingredients, turmeric, which is
(15:53):
the cancer stopper.
A lot of people take turmeric.
It has so many benefits.
It's an anti-inflammatory, anantioxidant and it is effective
in treating arthritis, which I'mpretty sure I'm going to have
someday.
Depression, which I alreadyhave, and I do take meds for
that.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
But this also gives me like a boost up out of that.
Huh, you have depression rightnow.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Well, I'm not saying like I'm in a depressed state,
but I take medication so thatthat doesn't happen.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
What I take a medicine every day.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, so that my depression doesn't like dip off
and I get super sad and you knowall right yeah you know you
know, and it also turmeric alsois effective in treating heart
disease which runs in our family.
So anyway, there's nothing badthat we can say about magic mind
(16:44):
Do you have any?
Do you have any magic mindstories?
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Let's hear it.
So I come on, man, I didn't donothing.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
No, I'm kidding Like bro didn't do nothing.
I'm kidding Like bro.
I'm really hungry, bro.
What are we going to have fordinner?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, okay, add.
Well we're going to haveleftover ham oh, let's freaking
go Potatoes, oh yeah, and somebuns.
I'm heat it up and cook it andmake it really good and we'll
watch a show, all right.
Anyways, back to my story magicmind.
Do you have a magic mind story?
(17:22):
Yeah, I bet you.
It really helped you yesterdaywith your e-learning, because
that's hard to get motivated for.
so you're like oh, it's reallyhard to get motivated for
e-learning when I'm at home andI'm comfy in my bed, so I think
I'm gonna go upstairs yeah mewaking up at 12 o'clock.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Takes me long to wake up, so had to drink one of
those.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And then you were just like turn on your computer
and in the zone Got your shitdone.
I did, man, that's great.
Alright, so we will link thediscount code in the show notes
for the Magic Mind.
I mean I can't say anything badabout the stuff, it's good.
All right, I have a homesteadupdate all right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I got three bunnies that are my backyard bunnies and
I think that we named themtoday at work.
Are you ready to hear theirnames?
Yeah so they are all blackpolish bunnies and they all look
identical.
I can't tell them apart.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, how are you going to name them?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Trixie, pixie and Dixie.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Who gave you those names?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
We came up with them at work today.
Oh really, because we weretrying to think of names, I saw
your post on Instagram, did you?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Is it cute, did you?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
like it?
Did you give me a heart?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Rude, he gave you names, though he did.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, he gave me my name.
Oh, I didn't see it.
I'll have to look on there.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
I don't remember what he said, so if you want to see
the bunnies, make sure youfollow me on Instagram at crazy
beautiful Kelly and you can seethe cute bunnies.
Special K in the house.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Whoop.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
And then the chicken babies.
They're actually outside rightnow.
I've been bringing them outsideat night because it's been
warmer outside here in Minnesota.
And they love it, like lastnight.
It was really hard for me togather them all to bring them
back inside to keep them warm atnight, but hopefully they're
getting close to being able tostay outside and live outside,
so that's been exciting.
(19:10):
It's fun to watch them.
I tried to put the bunnies andthe baby chickens together but
the baby chickens were scared,except for Skye she's like the
bigger one.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
And she kind of got puffy.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I know she's trying to protect her flock, but then
she got scared.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, her babies, because she's bigger, so she's
like the mama.
Yeah, and the other ones areher babies.
She Did you do anything funthis past weekend?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Not really.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I did so.
I got my bunnies on Friday, andthen on Saturday it was Emmy's
birthday.
And so for her birthday shewanted to go to a bunch of
bookstores that we hadn't beento, that were like kind of in
uptown North Loop area and twoantique stores.
And then we went to Red Cow forlunch and I had this really
(19:54):
great grilled cheese sandwichand it had barbecue chips on it,
and then it came with thisreally really good tomato basil
soup, which you're making mehungry and then it was brought.
They still had like brunch goingon when we were there for
lunchtime and they brought outthese hot brush mini donuts and
like they touched your likemouth and they just like melted
(20:16):
they were.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
So good, you know it sounds good.
What freaking you make.
You warm up that ham and youfreaking make like you don't
like make scrambled eggs, youjust make like egg you want like
ham and eggs.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, that sounds like great on a sandwich, not
scrambled though, just like.
Oh, you want the egg on there,let it cook.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
You want like a fried egg on there and let it cook.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You want like a fried egg sandwich?
Speaker 1 (20:36):
with ham.
Oh my God, that sounds freakingbomb.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I'll make that Holy crap.
And so we did that.
Oh, I had a drink, you guys, Ihad a espresso martini, one of
my favorite drinks.
I don't really like drinkinganymore, but I will always have
a chocolate martini or espressomartini, my favorite.
Okay, then emily and I came andpicked you up and we went to
(21:02):
her parents house for dinner andwe had like a smorgasbord of
appetizers and that was good.
I was so full.
On saturday I ate so much food,cope yep, I did too.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
What was your favorite thing?
That thing with the pepper, oh,the taco pepper.
Oh, so freaking good, that'sjust bomb you can't for me.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I love a italian pasta salad and they had that.
I love that.
And then emily's dad made these.
I really like the steak bites,the teriyaki ones.
They were really good, sothat's what I liked.
Then it was easter the next day, yeah, and so we went over to
dj nabby's for brunch and thefood was super good, I thought I
had like two plates of thosepotatoes were so good.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
The potatoes are actually crazy.
Oh so good the texture.
It was really hot at first.
Oh my god, for For my time itwas good.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
And then we came home .
I put our ham in the oven.
I took a nap while the hamcooked.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And then, when the ham was almost done, I made the
rest.
We had stuffing, mac and cheese, green bean, casserole buns and
ham.
Is that it?
Am I forgetting anything?
I think that's it, that's it,yeah, yeah.
So it was super yummy, so I'vebeen eating that all week.
It's been good.
Now we're going to have ham andeggs.
Fried egg and ham sandwich fordinner yeah, the goop.
(22:22):
And then Kate came over andbrought us Easter baskets and
she got like all the bombcomstuff in there.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Except for you were a little butthurt because you
wanted the big boy girardellicaramels so big.
All right, all right.
So if you want to supportMackie, just send him a bunch of
girardelli caramels, and hewill love you forever and flake
bars and arrow bars and arrowbars.
I'm gonna have to bring you tothat new so that, um, son son's
shop, son's soda shop, is nowlike grandpa joe's candy store.
I have to bring you therebecause they have flake bars,
(23:02):
they have all the differentkinds of arrow bars, they have a
ton of candy there and theyalso have a ton of the sodas,
but it's totally different.
It's a way better vibe now, sowe'll have to go there and then,
oh and then I went to work onMonday and Wendy got me an
Easter basket and she got youthose Rochelle Ferreres or
whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
What are they called?
Do you know how to say it?
I?
Speaker 6 (23:22):
don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I don't know how to say it either I'm gonna try, but
they're good and a ton ofReese's peanut butter eggs.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Reese's, reese's, yeah, reese's.
Okay, so thank you.
I want to say thank you so muchto our 102.9, the Wolf
listeners.
If you listen to our three-weekbit of Dolly Carton on the
radio, if you found us through102.9, we're super thankful and
grateful.
We appreciate you that you foundus and that you're listening.
(23:51):
At the end of the podcast I'mgoing to put a clip from the
radio show on the end so you canhear it, and that's it.
Mackie, I have a, which isworse segment.
You have a, would you rather?
And I have a funny joke.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I'm schizophrenic, did you know?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
that Do you know what that means?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Nah, not really, I just kind of say things.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
No, not really, I just kind of say things Because
you just went like I'mschizophrenic and that's not
what a schizophrenic would do.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah, I know it isn't Okay.
It's like when you see thingsand you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Can yes.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, Can.
Yeah, it's like when you yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
It's kind of like it can be like a personality
disorder.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
It can be multiple things and anywhere in between
the lowest level for me okayyeah, schizophrenia you have not
been diagnosed withschizophrenia, only ad and adhd
in every single possibly kindthey.
They said it was going to taketwo days to diagnose you and it
took them like two hours noteven all right.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
So what are we on now , uh?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
which is worse?
Okay, ready, okay, yeah.
Which is worse?
Speaker 1 (24:51):
dishes Okay ready, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Which is worse Pina Colada Dishes or laundry?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh, laundry Dishes Like doing every single part or
just putting the laundry away.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
The whole process.
Yeah, I don't Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I mean, if I don't have to hang the clothes, then
sure which you don't anyway.
Yeah, so then dishes.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Okay, spiders or snakes which?
And snakes yes.
Which is worse rap music orcountry music?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
country music.
That was light work huh, thatwas easy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Which is worse?
Being too hot or too cold?
Too hot, nope, too cold.
Which is worse?
Stubbing your toe or bitingyour tongue?
Uh biting my tongue, agreed Allright.
Last one which is worsesneezing or getting the hiccups
Getting?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
the hiccups.
Yes, I hate the hiccups, justlike you said.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
All right, what's your would you rather oh?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
okay, Are you ready?
Yeah, Would you rather have oneeye in the back of your head or
when you touch something youtaste?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
it.
I'd rather have one eye in theback of my head.
Easy, what would you?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
pick.
Oh my God, what was that?
A bomb?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Bombcom.
All right, ready for thefunniest joke you've heard all
day?
No, this one might beinappropriate for kids, or you
just might have a lot ofexplaining to do after so use
your discretion.
If you want to turn your radiooff, ready.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
How about now?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
No as in yes.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Okay, what does no as in yes even mean?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I don't know.
It just means what.
It means.
All right, trust, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
So you're listening.
Yeah, what does a robot doafter a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.
That made no sense.
He yeah, I know what you meant.
And then he bolts.
He runs like, gets out of thereand robots are made of nuts and
bolts.
That's why it's funny he nutsand he bolts.
(26:52):
Yeah, because yeah they're madeof nuts and bolts.
Okay, I see, are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
now I'm not laughing because I didn't understand it.
But I see, hey, don't flick me,I just don't.
Yeah, because they're made ofnuts and bolts.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, I see.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Are you laughing now?
I'm not laughing because Ididn't understand it, but I see,
hey, don't flick me, I didn'tunderstand it All right.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
On.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Our Best Behavior On Our Cool Cat.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
All you cool cats and kittens.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Thanks for listening to another episode To another
episode of Cool Ass Cats.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
On Our best behavior.
Make sure you tell all yourfriends that your favorite
podcast is on our best behavior.
If you guys want to display thesweetest sticker on your water
bottle your car, your laptop oryour business.
Hit us up and we will mail youout a free sticker and it says
Cool Cats on it.
And I forgot what else.
Us up and we will mail you outa free sticker and it says cool
(27:41):
cats on it.
And and what I forgot what elseI was gonna say must have been
a lie.
Stay tuned because I'm gonnaplay the clip from Dolly Carton
from 102.9 the wolf.
We'll see you guys next week.
Bye, last thing I always wantto tell you.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I love you.
Oh, mama, I love you tooeverything.
Speaker 7 (28:05):
Country 102.9 the wolf.
All right.
Sun up means, uh, sundown fordolly, our, our adopted chicken
maybe we don't know yet and uh,she could have laid two eggs
yesterday.
We'll be going live tofarmington, uh, when we check in
with Kelly, our hen mother.
We've been given a chicken andhis chicken mission was to lay
18 eggs by the 18th.
(28:26):
Well, today's the 18th andDolly has only laid 16.
Speaker 8 (28:30):
I feel like you're just manifesting this.
You're giving all thesenegative aura, negative vibes.
She's being realistic, PT.
Well, I realize that, but I'man optimist man.
I'm trying to believe in Dolly,I'm believing in her.
You barely go to church.
I go to church every Sundayalmost man.
It's a little too late for youAll right, let's find what
Brooke says.
Brooke.
Speaker 7 (28:50):
Eggston Brooke, eggston, our Thunder and PT KMNB
chicken correspondent live thismorning from Farmington Brooke.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
What can you tell us?
I'm here in Farmington wherethe candlelight vigil for Dolly
the chicken is reaching acritical moment.
As of now, she's laid just 16eggs too short of the 18 needed
to avoid her nuggety fate.
Supporters are gathered, somewrapped in blankets, some
wrapped in emotion.
There's a quiet hope in the air, punctuated only by the
occasional clock from inside thecoop.
(29:19):
One young girl just whisperedCome on, dolly, you can do it,
but time is running out.
Will Dolly beat the odds orbecome part of a value meal?
We'll find out soon.
Reporting live from justoutside Cluck Row in Farmington.
I'm Brooke Eggston.
Kmmb News.
Back to you guys.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
Don't sound so happy, Brooke.
Hey, maybe she's on your team.
Speaker 8 (29:43):
She's on Team Nuggets , it sounds like.
Well, that's possible, that ispossible.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
All right, we are three minutes away from finding
out Golly's fate, oh man, and wewill get the final egg total
inside the coop next, in threeminutes.
Speaker 5 (29:57):
Last night, no way more than last night.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
Good morning.
Speaker 8 (30:06):
I don't like that tone of her voice.
To be honest, Well, why wouldyou?
Speaker 7 (30:10):
I mean, it's impossible.
All right, kelly, welcome tothe show.
Today's the big day, d-day forDolly, and you don't sound too
excited.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
No.
Speaker 7 (30:24):
Oh, no Well, first of all, I just want to say what a
great job you've done with DollyAn amazing job, not good enough
.
Well, listen, you can't blameyourself.
You know we all want to blameourselves.
What could we have donedifferently, you know, could you
have fed her some more?
You know, held her a littlemore, played different music.
Speaker 8 (30:43):
Yeah, the regret kind of fits in a little bit right
now.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Coulda woulda shoulda .
Speaker 7 (30:49):
Yeah, coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Alright, I'll get out thedrumroll here and let's see
where we're at.
I don't even know if we need itat this point in time.
18, Odyssey Farms gave us achicken.
They said we don't want it back.
Dispose of Dolly.
In fact, I've got the emailright here.
Do you have the contract?
As of this morning, hen number739, also known as Dolly, has
(31:11):
produced.
How many eggs do we haveofficially?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
17.
Speaker 7 (31:15):
17.
Speaker 8 (31:15):
All right, that's close I mean that's what is the
clauses when it comes to likeokay.
Speaker 7 (31:23):
If it's the morning, then we have to.
I'm reading it, Callie.
Callie Required 18 under the2025 spring layer initiative for
section 4.2 of the egg outputcompliance protocol.
All hen failing to be quoted by7 am, Central Daylight Time on
April 18th shall be humanelyretired from active duty and
turned into chicken nuggets.
Please prepare Dolly forreassignment to the protein
(31:46):
division of Odyssey Farms.
Okay, so have you sharpened theknives up, hey Kelly?
No, I think I'm going to takeDolly to work with me.
No.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
Kelly, we had an agreement.
No, Kelly, are you sure you'velooked around?
There's no other random browneggs, because we know she lays
brown eggs Like there's no otherrandoms that are sitting around
there at all.
Are you okay?
What Are you okay?
I'm nervous right now.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
I'm nervous, I'm sad for Naui's life.
Speaker 7 (32:13):
Let's just do that.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
Wait, what is this?
There's a message coming in ona separate secure line right now
.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
What message?
Speaker 8 (32:21):
Look at that line over there there's a separate.
Can you hit that?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Attention citizens of the Wolf Nation, thunder and PT
.
This is former Navy SEALwrestling icon, icon, movie star
and, yes, former governor ofthe state of minnesota frankly,
the greatest governor the statehas ever known.
I've just been made aware of agrave injustice happening on
your morning show.
(32:44):
You're threatening to turndolly the chicken into nuggets
if she didn't lay 18 eggs byapril.
18th right, which, of course,is today.
Well, let me tell you somethingI didn't fight in the jungles
of vietnam just so innocentchickens could be egg shamed on
(33:05):
the radio.
As a former governor, I stillreceive a limited number of
ceremonial pardons each year.
Really, it's in the fine print.
No, I wrote it myself.
Okay, see, and today I'm usingone of those sacred pardons for
Dolly yes, no, no, no.
Speaker 6 (33:25):
No, you're done.
Yes, no guys.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
Guys, that's not good enough.
It's not good enough.
Also please not good enough.
That's not good enough.
Also, please lower our tabs.
Yes, our tabs.
Speaker 8 (33:36):
Kelly.
Kelly's getting greedy shewants tabs to be lowered too,
from the former cover.
Speaker 7 (33:41):
I will say this I will say this I'm going to take
it one step.
I'm going to go, I'm going togive Dolly a reprieve for five,
five, three minutes, threeminutes, and I'm going to see,
if anything, any other callscome in in the next three
minutes.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Call now.
Call now, if it really matters.
Speaker 7 (34:00):
Well, better be big.
Better be bigger than that oneright there, that's for sure.
I'll give Dolly three moreminutes and then that's it.
Speaker 8 (34:09):
Perfect, that's all we can ask for Stay in Hang
tight, hang tight.
Speaker 7 (34:13):
Full moon shining bright.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Non-stop nonsense with Thunder and PT on the Wolf.
Speaker 7 (34:20):
All right if you're just joining us.
We asked for a bigger name thanthe former governor, who
thought he could still pardonDolly, our adopted chicken.
She's got to lay 18 eggs by the18th.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
She didn't do it, she's got to lay 18 eggs by the
18th she didn't do it.
Speaker 7 (34:37):
She's at what?
17, right, kelly.
17.
Kelly's been watching overDolly Today.
Speaker 8 (34:39):
it's the fryer, I just feel like what if she's in
line right now, like ready tolay an egg?
You know what I mean it's toolate, 7 o'clock.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
You heard the memo.
Speaker 7 (34:47):
I know, hold tight, this will.
This is probably the definitive, this is probably the
definitive voice in the matter.
Yes, sir.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Look, I've seen what's going on with Dolly the
chicken.
Everybody's talking about it.
She was supposed to lay 18 eggsby April 18th.
That was the deal.
It was real simple and shedidn't do it.
She didn't even come close.
She laid what?
12, maybe 13?
Not even close.
Truly sad.
It was real simple and shedidn't do it.
She didn't even come close.
She laid what?
12, maybe 13?
Not even close.
Truly sad, it's very sad.
So I'm here to say no pardon,no pardoning Dolly.
(35:22):
We don't reward failure.
If she had laid the eggsbeautiful eggs, the best eggs I
would have considered it.
But no, she didn't do it.
Well, so she's done.
But I know some people aresaying but sir, she tried.
Well, a lot of chickens try,but only winners get pardoned.
As to thanksgiving day, turkey,I gave him a pardon.
He earned it.
Dolly not so much so that's it.
Speaker 8 (35:44):
Then you're saying it's over.
Would you any chance you'dreconsider?
Speaker 5 (35:48):
well, look, I'm a very fair person, everybody
knows this, the fairest.
But we gave Dolly everyopportunity.
We set the bar very low.
Just 18 eggs.
That's nothing.
My farmers tell me chickens inChina, elaine, 25 a week, total
domination.
But Dolly nah, she gotdistracted, pecking around,
probably watching too muchNetflix, maybe hanging out with
(36:09):
a rooster, who knows?
I don't know.
So no, I will not reconsider.
We're not running a chickendaycare.
We need productivity, we needeggs.
No excuses.
She had one job, folks, and nowshe's nugget material.
It's a tough world out there,especially in the coop.
Speaker 7 (36:24):
All right, there it is.
Oh no, that's the finaldecision.
Let's sharpen the knives.
We're coming back.
That's ridiculous.
We're sharpening the knives ohgosh.
And Dolly goes into the deepfryer next On the.
Wolf in three minutes.
Here we go.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Back to everything country with Thunder and PT
102.9 the Wolf.
Speaker 7 (36:51):
All right, well, you heard it here from the top.
No pardon for Dolly, there's aline right now.
Speaker 8 (36:59):
This line has never rang before.
Sharpen the knives, Kelly.
Here we go no way.
Before you do this, there's aline over there.
It's direct to Nashville.
It's never rang before.
I have no idea what it is, butit's ringing right now.
Can you grab that message?
Speaker 7 (37:15):
Maybe it could be someone bigger than the person
we just heard from Listen.
It's 7 o'clock.
You heard the memo fromcorporate.
But you've got to check thismessage see what it is see who
it is.
All right, Kelly, can you giveus one second here while we
check this?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Of course, are you still there?
Speaker 8 (37:30):
It's going to save Dolly's life.
Speaker 7 (37:31):
It might.
This, of course.
Are you still there?
Okay, dolly's life?
Yeah, it might.
You know it's important.
By the way, we're getting acouple of tech you'll you'll
have to actually boil dollyfirst after you chop her head
off.
And stay here, folks, becausethat's going to happen live on
the radio.
No, in about 60 seconds, butwe'll check this message first.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Hold tight well, hi there, thunder andT.
It's Dolly here.
I just love your show 109.2,the Wolf, and I know that it's
such a fine day to becelebrating love and life and
saving a very special chicken.
Well, today we gather around todo something very special.
We take one little luckyclucker and give her a second
(38:09):
chance at sweet life, scratchingin the dirt without a care in
the world.
Well, this here's Dolly, anagency of beauty, a strong,
independent girl with dreamsbigger than the barnyard.
Now, in the spirit ofcompassion, country music and
all things fabulous, I, dollyParton, do hereby grant a full
(38:32):
and unconditional pardon to MissDolly Parton.
What do you think of that?
We were dazed to feel thesunshine, just passing,
gossiping with the other chicksand certainly not working nine
to five, whatever.
You know, I gotta send my loveand make sure this is a reminder
to all of us.
Life's too short not to singyour songs, shake your tail
(38:53):
feathers and show a little mercynow and then.
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 7 (39:08):
Okay, thank you, Dolly.
Thank you, Dolly.
Okay, we've got to wrap it up,Dolly.
Speaker 6 (39:11):
It's enough to drive you crazy.
Okay, we've got to wrap it up,Dolly.
We love you Dolly Okay Thunderand PT and.
Speaker 7 (39:20):
Dolly Barton.
All right, dolly, you guys win.
Speaker 8 (39:24):
We saved that day Dolly Kelly.
She's alive.
Speaker 7 (39:28):
Oh my All right, that's amazing.
Dolly lives Whatever.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Well, that is some good news for Dolly when you go
to Popeye's, it sounds likeTrump is popping up those
tariffs, so I don't know howmuch a Chinese chicken is going
to cost.
Speaker 8 (39:44):
Well, we know, it was like $30.
It was $30 yesterday.
Who knows what it will be today.
Oh man Kelly thank you.
Speaker 7 (39:55):
You've done a great job taking care of Dolly, and
would you mind just holding onto her?
Speaker 8 (39:58):
Yes, For the next, you know, decade or so.
Speaker 7 (40:01):
For the rest of her life and we never want to hear
from Dolly again.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Like ever again Ever.
The best radio prize I've everwon.
Speaker 7 (40:12):
You get a chicken.
Speaker 8 (40:13):
You get a chicken.
You get a chicken.
Speaker 7 (40:15):
Kelly, we love you and make sure you check out
Kelly's podcast with her sonMcCoy on our Best Behavior.
Speaker 8 (40:21):
Wherever you get your podcasts, we might even put
back a play of Dolly and someother guests on our podcast, the
Thunder, and PT Repeat you gotany other chickens or hens?
Speaker 7 (40:31):
down there that aren't delivering, that we can
fry up still, because I'mstarving.
Speaker 5 (40:35):
Hell, no, all right.
Speaker 7 (40:37):
Thank you, kelly, we love you, kelly, have a great
day.
Bye, all right.
Some fine news for everybody, Ithink.
Let's keep it rolling 90minutes more fun, more chicken
and more country on the Wolf.
Hey guys, welcome back to Honor and Best Behavior.
You're here with Mac and Kelly,what up?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
MacDog Loves.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Nothing, okay.
Well, let me tell you a fewthings that I have going on.
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Every morning.
Every morning on my way to work, I happen to meet this bus and
the bus is stopping and pickingup all the kids at the bus stop.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
My bus stop.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
This comes before your bus stop, before your bus
picks you up.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Anyway, the kids are all in the line and every day
there's this one entitled littlebrat who just starts coming out
of her door after everyone'salready got on the bus, makes
the bus wait for her as shelollygags across the street
looking at her phone Everyone'swaiting.
Now, when I was a kid, you madesure your ass was out there at
(01:01):
the bus stop because no busdriver was waiting for you.
If you weren't there and ready,snooze, you lose, find another
ride.
So anyway, drives me crazy.
It's my pet peeve Every morning.
This girl does not get her assin gear.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So don't be that person.
It's not that hard.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
All right.
You told me speaking of buses.
You told me speaking of buses.
You told me that somebody gotkicked off your bus.
Oh, yeah, that was interestingwhat are you gonna tell me us
about it?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
yeah, okay, so like, anyways, right, like I don't
know what he was doing again.
Well, it was like after school,like the activity bus, no, like
when everyone's leaving to go,like home and like he was like
yeah, he was like picking onsomeone.
I don't know what happenedbecause I like I don't know were
(01:55):
you there?
No, I wasn't there when ithappened, but I was there and,
like the bus driver and the kidwere arguing oh, was that?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
exciting I guess yeah was the kid talking back to the
bus driver?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
yeah rude.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
What is wrong?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
with the world.
And then, like she like calledI don't even know what it's
called, but like assistant,something okay, like and she was
like, oh, they're gonna talk toyou and the motherfucker got
kicked off the bus for how long?
And of course it's the fuckingretarded motherfucker that vapes
at her bus stop and he's socool you can't say the r word.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, I mean, it's fucking true, I'm not wrong well
, people, this I'm gonna, I'mgonna go out on a limb and say
that people who act it.
I know that's fine, people whoact entitled like that's.
It's rude.
Like think about how you wouldfeel if people treated you like
that?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Andy's one of the kids that freaking smokes weed
on the bus.
You're not cool, little bro.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Not cool.
Also, it's not cool to pick onyounger kids Not cool, all right
.
And we all know, right throughmany years of research and
looking into bullying and makingit more in your face, we know
that the kids that bully peopleor make fun of people or make
bad choices don't always havethe best life situation.
(03:10):
But let's learn from thatpeople and try to be nice and
try to be better.
All right, I have a funny storyfor you.
What is that?
Okay, I didn't tell you thisbecause I was saving it for the
podcast, but one of my friendsat work her husband works at ER
overnight and it's in the city,not up here.
(03:31):
And anyway, this guy came inbecause he had a Barbie fully
submerged up his butthole andhad to undergo surgery to get it
out.
Feed in first, if you know whatI mean.
Like the Barbie doll.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, oh my fucking God, what the hell.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So, anyway, just remember.
So here's my medical lesson foreveryone today.
Your butt does not have an end.
It goes and goes and goes.
You have 20 plus feet ofintestines, and if you put
something in your butt without ahandle or a string to pull it
(04:11):
out, it's not coming out, itain't coming back, your butt
kind of sucks it up in there andit ain't coming out.
So your vagina now.
I know you're rolling your eyes, but the vagina does have an
end.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
It is a vault and it ends, so that's why you can go
as in like a vault door yeah,well, it's like a you go in,
okay, and then there's like aspace yeah and then there's your
cervix, your uterus.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So there's an end like you can't.
You can't lose something inyour body through your vagina.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Well, yeah, because it's just.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Because it's just a space.
Yeah so like, let's say, youput something up in your vagina.
This happens often.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
People lose tampons in their vagina, well, and you
just get a bad infection.
If you never got it out, well,if you never got it out.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
yes, you can get toxic shock syndrome, which can
lead to sepsis, which you canalso like just get a really bad
vaginal infection.
You can get really like stinkydown there, Like usually it
feels like you pull a rat out ofthere that died.
It's real bad stinky.
But anyway, it's very commonthat people put tampons in and
can't get them out, and guesswhat.
They just come on into theclinic and we put a speculum in,
(05:17):
pull it right out.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Has that ever happened to you?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
It's happened to me once or twice.
Yes, Wendy has pulled out atampon for me once or twice in
my life, oh my God.
So how does?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
it even happen Like wait, do you sleep with a tampon
in?
I do, yeah, Was it even for you?
I forgot your period.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Okay so.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And, like your body, just sucks it in.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Well, you insert it through the far.
Sometimes it gets like it canturn in there, like if you're
trying to put it in too deep andyour vault's not deep enough
and you kind of like turn it andwedge it and the string gets
lost.
Sometimes you can like reachyour finger up in there and like
swipe it out and grab it, butsometimes you can't.
Or sometimes like you go topull the string and the string
detaches from the tampon and youyou're like, oh, fuck.
(06:03):
But now they also have menstrualdiscs and diva cups in people
and the NuvaRing is a birthcontrol method and a lot of
people can just reach up inthere and pull it in and out.
I'm not that's not my specialtyI'm not good at putting things
in my vagina and pulling themout without a string.
But anyway, moral of the story.
Anyway, moral of the story.
The butt is not a vagina.
(06:25):
Don't put things in your buttat all.
It's not meant for things to goin there, not even wieners,
nothing.
Stay out of the butt.
There's also a thing called arectocele where when you put
things in your butt or like havea lot of sorry Mac, you plug
your ears earmuffs anal sex youwill start to pull the rectum
out of the anus and then youhave a rectocele and then your
(06:47):
butt is coming out of your butt.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So your butt is coming, google it yes, it's a
real thing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So those are the things that young people aren't
thinking about.
And also hpv right, hpv?
You semen spreaders.
You put that in the butt now.
Now you gave somebody analcancer, so that's how you get it
.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yes, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yes so stay out of the butt, keep it in the front,
out of the butt keep it in thefront, oh my god, and always
wear a condom.
Thank you, okay, you know Ihaven't.
I feel like I haven't had ashout out in a little bit, so I
really want you guys to follow.
If you you don't already, or ifyou're new to On Our Best
Behavior, please follow us onFacebook, instagram.
(07:28):
We do have a TikTok.
However, it's mostly just meand my chickens, but make sure
you like our page, follow us.
Share.
It's free to share when we postnew episodes.
If you're listening on ApplePodcasts or Spotify, please at
least hit that five-star rating.
If you want to say some reallynice things about us, we are
(07:50):
very open to that too.
Bless you, bless you, holy crap.
Somebody told me that if yousneeze six times in a row, that
is equivalent to an orgasm.
Just so you know.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
What the?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
hell yeah, it releases the same chemical when
you sneeze as when you orgasm,so sneezing does feel kind of
good, if you think about it.
Alright, so yes, so get on thatFreaking, contagious, sorry.
Okay, what are you watching?
What are you reading, what areyou playing?
So what do you want to startwith?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
What are you watching ?
Are you reading?
What are you playing?
So what do you want to?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
start with, what are you watching?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
what am?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I watching sling blade, that's what?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
it sounds okay funny what am I watching?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
do you want?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
me to help you.
Yeah, walking dead.
Yeah, what season are you onnow?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
yeah, what season are you on now?
You've really I'm almost donewith season four.
Okay, yeah, the last of us wewatched one episode.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
There's another one out, we have to watch.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, we should watch it, dexter.
I think we are almost on seasonfour yeah, we're like,
basically we're like at the endof season three I just finished
season one of white lotus.
Oh, I don't think you watch it.
It's where they're at the hotel.
Have you seen me watch this?
I don't think I have so, anyway,I'm gonna watch episode or
season two of that next.
Are you reading anything orwatching anything else?
(09:13):
Nah you reading anything?
Nah all right.
Since we recorded last, I'veread one, two, three, three
books, and I'm on the next one.
So, since we talked, last Ifinished a court of mist and
fury, which is book two of thewhole court fantasy audiobook I
mackie, I always audiobookbecause I I think, kudos to you
(09:37):
if you read.
But I feel like if I can readand do other things at the same
time, like that is a win,because I feel so nonproductive
if I just sit down and read LikeI think, like oh, I just read
for two hours and I didn't doanything else.
But I clean my house and I read, I do my laundry and I read, I
(10:00):
can mow the grass and read, Ican drive and read.
I can do anything and read atthe same time and I really can
play my farm game and read, butsure.
Okay, fine, I'm just, at least Iread something or listen, at
least I listen.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I listen to something it's called comms.
What's that?
A game?
A game it's sound effects LikeI know what to do.
Let's hear some of the soundeffects that you've learned
recently no, I don't know thesound effects, just it's just
like sound cues all right, fine,like what?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
uh, the next book that I read since we listened is
called the arrangement and isso good.
It's by this author.
Her name is robin harding, andI really have liked every book
of hers that I've read, but thisone is really.
It's about this girl who's incollege.
She's like 21.
She is really struggling to payher bills and she ends up
(10:54):
finding out her other friend isa sugar baby.
What?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
the hell.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
And there is a website where you can find a
sugar daddy and they pay you Xamount of dollars a month to
just kind of hang out with them,go to dinner with them, help
them spend their time, andsometimes it can be a sexual
level.
But it's up to you what youwant to do.
Anyway, there's a big twist andturn so go ahead and check that
(11:20):
one out, for sure.
I also recently finished.
This is a series by.
Jennifer Hillier, and the firstone was Creep, which I thought
was really good, and the secondone is called Freak, and I
didn't like it as much as thefirst one, and I think that
there's one more book in theseries, so of course, I'll have
to finish that.
And right now I'm reading areally good book by an author
(11:43):
I've never read before, and it'scalled the Intended Victim, and
it's by an author namedAlexandra Ivey, and this book is
about a serial killer and hehas an intended victim hence the
name of the book that he isafter, and so what he does is he
finds other people thatresemble her appearance and then
(12:04):
he performs operations on themto look even more like her, and
so, yeah, I'm not done with it,but it's good, it's good.
What are you playing?
What's on your gaming radar?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Okay, what?
What's on my gaming radar?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, what are you gaming right now?
What's the game?
You're playing?
The same one as last time orsomething different.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Literally the same thing.
What are you?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
playing what's it?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
called.
I don't even know what I'mplaying anymore.
I'm going to be honest.
I just play whatever someonewants to play.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Did you play any video games today?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Nope, not yet.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
What were you and Logan doing?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I don't even know.
Logan was playing BuckCharlotte oh on the PC.
Yeah, and you were, and I wasjust watching him play oh okay,
all right, so something excitinghappened, uh-oh.
I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Our Magic Minds subscription showed up yesterday
just on time, and today, youknow, I bring some to work.
I told, told you before.
I keep it in my car, in my deskat work, in the fridge, at home
, everywhere in my purse,because sometimes I just need
that little pick me up and bylittle.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I mean a big boost.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
So our subscription showed up today.
So I'm super happy that I canrefill all my places today.
I really needed that boost atabout 230.
So I just whipped out my mentalperformance shot and instant I
swear instantly felt better.
And one of my coworkers she waslike I can't wake up, I'm so
tired.
I'm like do you want some MagicMind?
(13:37):
And she's like I feel bad.
And I said, well, you shouldfeel bad, quit taking it from me
and buy your own.
You should feel bad, quittaking it from me and buy your
own, because right now you canuse our code and receive 20% off
on a one-time purchase, or upto 48% off with a subscription.
Now, let me tell you that isless than $4 for one bottle.
(13:59):
And you can use our code OOBBfor On Our Best Behavior, lt20,
to receive the discount.
And let me tell you one of thethings that I have really grown
to love about Magic Mind isusually, if I need a pick-me-up
like that's, I'm going to gonext door to the coffee shop and
get a coffee.
It's $7.
(14:20):
Sometimes it tastes good,sometimes it doesn't, and I have
to like make time to go overthere.
How many?
It's like a shot, so it's likemaybe two, three ounces, I don't
even know.
Anyway, it's quick, it tastes Idon't want to say it tastes
good, but it doesn't taste badand it's cheaper than a coffee
(14:42):
and it's instant, like if youare a seen as believing person,
like I'm telling you people, seeme, do it, take the mental
performance shot and bam, like Iam a different person.
And so I'm telling you, I mean,if you know me, duh, and if you
don't know me, you should.
And you should really listen tome and check out Magic Mind, at
(15:05):
least look it up.
There's 100% money backguarantee if you don't like it,
because you will like it and youwill see how much it works.
So Magic Mind is also reallygreat for a variety of creators,
including myself, contentcreators, including gamers like
(15:31):
Mackie, writers, artists andeven us shift workers.
I mean, I typically need mymagic mind at my normal nine to
five job, so, and I feel like itdoesn't like make you stay up
late at night, Like it doesn'tkeep me awake, Like sometimes if
people have caffeine, they'llhave a hard time falling asleep,
but not with magic mind.
And it has one of my favoriteingredients, turmeric, which is
(15:53):
the cancer stopper.
A lot of people take turmeric.
It has so many benefits.
It's an anti-inflammatory, anantioxidant and it is effective
in treating arthritis, which I'mpretty sure I'm going to have
someday.
Depression, which I alreadyhave, and I do take meds for
that.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
But this also gives me like a boost up out of that.
Huh, you have depression rightnow.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Well, I'm not saying like I'm in a depressed state,
but I take medication so thatthat doesn't happen.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
What I take a medicine every day.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, so that my depression doesn't like dip off
and I get super sad and you knowall right yeah you know you
know, and it also turmeric alsois effective in treating heart
disease which runs in our family.
So anyway, there's nothing badthat we can say about magic mind
(16:44):
Do you have any?
Do you have any magic mindstories?
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Let's hear it.
So I come on, man, I didn't donothing.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
No, I'm kidding Like bro didn't do nothing.
I'm kidding Like bro.
I'm really hungry, bro.
What are we going to have fordinner?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, okay, add.
Well we're going to haveleftover ham oh, let's freaking
go Potatoes, oh yeah, and somebuns.
I'm heat it up and cook it andmake it really good and we'll
watch a show, all right.
Anyways, back to my story magicmind.
Do you have a magic mind story?
(17:22):
Yeah, I bet you.
It really helped you yesterdaywith your e-learning, because
that's hard to get motivated for.
so you're like oh, it's reallyhard to get motivated for
e-learning when I'm at home andI'm comfy in my bed, so I think
I'm gonna go upstairs yeah mewaking up at 12 o'clock.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Takes me long to wake up, so had to drink one of
those.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And then you were just like turn on your computer
and in the zone Got your shitdone.
I did, man, that's great.
Alright, so we will link thediscount code in the show notes
for the Magic Mind.
I mean I can't say anything badabout the stuff, it's good.
All right, I have a homesteadupdate all right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I got three bunnies that are my backyard bunnies and
I think that we named themtoday at work.
Are you ready to hear theirnames?
Yeah so they are all blackpolish bunnies and they all look
identical.
I can't tell them apart.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, how are you going to name them?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Trixie, pixie and Dixie.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Who gave you those names?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
We came up with them at work today.
Oh really, because we weretrying to think of names, I saw
your post on Instagram, did you?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Is it cute, did you?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
like it?
Did you give me a heart?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Rude, he gave you names, though he did.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, he gave me my name.
Oh, I didn't see it.
I'll have to look on there.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
I don't remember what he said, so if you want to see
the bunnies, make sure youfollow me on Instagram at crazy
beautiful Kelly and you can seethe cute bunnies.
Special K in the house.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Whoop.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
And then the chicken babies.
They're actually outside rightnow.
I've been bringing them outsideat night because it's been
warmer outside here in Minnesota.
And they love it, like lastnight.
It was really hard for me togather them all to bring them
back inside to keep them warm atnight, but hopefully they're
getting close to being able tostay outside and live outside,
so that's been exciting.
(19:10):
It's fun to watch them.
I tried to put the bunnies andthe baby chickens together but
the baby chickens were scared,except for Skye she's like the
bigger one.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
And she kind of got puffy.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I know she's trying to protect her flock, but then
she got scared.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, her babies, because she's bigger, so she's
like the mama.
Yeah, and the other ones areher babies.
She Did you do anything funthis past weekend?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Not really.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I did so.
I got my bunnies on Friday, andthen on Saturday it was Emmy's
birthday.
And so for her birthday shewanted to go to a bunch of
bookstores that we hadn't beento, that were like kind of in
uptown North Loop area and twoantique stores.
And then we went to Red Cow forlunch and I had this really
(19:54):
great grilled cheese sandwichand it had barbecue chips on it,
and then it came with thisreally really good tomato basil
soup, which you're making mehungry and then it was brought.
They still had like brunch goingon when we were there for
lunchtime and they brought outthese hot brush mini donuts and
like they touched your likemouth and they just like melted
(20:16):
they were.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
So good, you know it sounds good.
What freaking you make.
You warm up that ham and youfreaking make like you don't
like make scrambled eggs, youjust make like egg you want like
ham and eggs.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, that sounds like great on a sandwich, not
scrambled though, just like.
Oh, you want the egg on there,let it cook.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
You want like a fried egg on there and let it cook.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You want like a fried egg sandwich?
Speaker 1 (20:36):
with ham.
Oh my God, that sounds freakingbomb.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I'll make that Holy crap.
And so we did that.
Oh, I had a drink, you guys, Ihad a espresso martini, one of
my favorite drinks.
I don't really like drinkinganymore, but I will always have
a chocolate martini or espressomartini, my favorite.
Okay, then emily and I came andpicked you up and we went to
(21:02):
her parents house for dinner andwe had like a smorgasbord of
appetizers and that was good.
I was so full.
On saturday I ate so much food,cope yep, I did too.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
What was your favorite thing?
That thing with the pepper, oh,the taco pepper.
Oh, so freaking good, that'sjust bomb you can't for me.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I love a italian pasta salad and they had that.
I love that.
And then emily's dad made these.
I really like the steak bites,the teriyaki ones.
They were really good, sothat's what I liked.
Then it was easter the next day, yeah, and so we went over to
dj nabby's for brunch and thefood was super good, I thought I
had like two plates of thosepotatoes were so good.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
The potatoes are actually crazy.
Oh so good the texture.
It was really hot at first.
Oh my god, for For my time itwas good.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
And then we came home .
I put our ham in the oven.
I took a nap while the hamcooked.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And then, when the ham was almost done, I made the
rest.
We had stuffing, mac and cheese, green bean, casserole buns and
ham.
Is that it?
Am I forgetting anything?
I think that's it, that's it,yeah, yeah.
So it was super yummy, so I'vebeen eating that all week.
It's been good.
Now we're going to have ham andeggs.
Fried egg and ham sandwich fordinner yeah, the goop.
(22:22):
And then Kate came over andbrought us Easter baskets and
she got like all the bombcomstuff in there.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Except for you were a little butthurt because you
wanted the big boy girardellicaramels so big.
All right, all right.
So if you want to supportMackie, just send him a bunch of
girardelli caramels, and hewill love you forever and flake
bars and arrow bars and arrowbars.
I'm gonna have to bring you tothat new so that, um, son son's
shop, son's soda shop, is nowlike grandpa joe's candy store.
I have to bring you therebecause they have flake bars,
(23:02):
they have all the differentkinds of arrow bars, they have a
ton of candy there and theyalso have a ton of the sodas,
but it's totally different.
It's a way better vibe now, sowe'll have to go there and then,
oh and then I went to work onMonday and Wendy got me an
Easter basket and she got youthose Rochelle Ferreres or
whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
What are they called?
Do you know how to say it?
I?
Speaker 6 (23:22):
don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I don't know how to say it either I'm gonna try, but
they're good and a ton ofReese's peanut butter eggs.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Reese's, reese's, yeah, reese's.
Okay, so thank you.
I want to say thank you so muchto our 102.9, the Wolf
listeners.
If you listen to our three-weekbit of Dolly Carton on the
radio, if you found us through102.9, we're super thankful and
grateful.
We appreciate you that you foundus and that you're listening.
(23:51):
At the end of the podcast I'mgoing to put a clip from the
radio show on the end so you canhear it, and that's it.
Mackie, I have a, which isworse segment.
You have a, would you rather?
And I have a funny joke.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I'm schizophrenic, did you know?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
that Do you know what that means?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Nah, not really, I just kind of say things.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
No, not really, I just kind of say things Because
you just went like I'mschizophrenic and that's not
what a schizophrenic would do.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah, I know it isn't Okay.
It's like when you see thingsand you don't.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Can yes.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, Can.
Yeah, it's like when you yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
It's kind of like it can be like a personality
disorder.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
It can be multiple things and anywhere in between
the lowest level for me okayyeah, schizophrenia you have not
been diagnosed withschizophrenia, only ad and adhd
in every single possibly kindthey.
They said it was going to taketwo days to diagnose you and it
took them like two hours noteven all right.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
So what are we on now , uh?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
which is worse?
Okay, ready, okay, yeah.
Which is worse?
Speaker 1 (24:51):
dishes Okay ready, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Which is worse Pina Colada Dishes or laundry?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh, laundry Dishes Like doing every single part or
just putting the laundry away.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
The whole process.
Yeah, I don't Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I mean, if I don't have to hang the clothes, then
sure which you don't anyway.
Yeah, so then dishes.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Okay, spiders or snakes which?
And snakes yes.
Which is worse rap music orcountry music?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
country music.
That was light work huh, thatwas easy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Which is worse?
Being too hot or too cold?
Too hot, nope, too cold.
Which is worse?
Stubbing your toe or bitingyour tongue?
Uh biting my tongue, agreed Allright.
Last one which is worsesneezing or getting the hiccups
Getting?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
the hiccups.
Yes, I hate the hiccups, justlike you said.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
All right, what's your would you rather oh?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
okay, Are you ready?
Yeah, Would you rather have oneeye in the back of your head or
when you touch something youtaste?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
it.
I'd rather have one eye in theback of my head.
Easy, what would you?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
pick.
Oh my God, what was that?
A bomb?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Bombcom.
All right, ready for thefunniest joke you've heard all
day?
No, this one might beinappropriate for kids, or you
just might have a lot ofexplaining to do after so use
your discretion.
If you want to turn your radiooff, ready.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
How about now?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
No as in yes.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Okay, what does no as in yes even mean?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I don't know.
It just means what.
It means.
All right, trust, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
So you're listening.
Yeah, what does a robot doafter a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.
That made no sense.
He yeah, I know what you meant.
And then he bolts.
He runs like, gets out of thereand robots are made of nuts and
bolts.
That's why it's funny he nutsand he bolts.
(26:52):
Yeah, because yeah they're madeof nuts and bolts.
Okay, I see, are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
now I'm not laughing because I didn't understand it.
But I see, hey, don't flick me,I just don't.
Yeah, because they're made ofnuts and bolts.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, I see.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Are you laughing now?
I'm not laughing because Ididn't understand it, but I see,
hey, don't flick me, I didn'tunderstand it All right.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
On.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Our Best Behavior On Our Cool Cat.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
All you cool cats and kittens.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Thanks for listening to another episode To another
episode of Cool Ass Cats.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
On Our best behavior.
Make sure you tell all yourfriends that your favorite
podcast is on our best behavior.
If you guys want to display thesweetest sticker on your water
bottle your car, your laptop oryour business.
Hit us up and we will mail youout a free sticker and it says
Cool Cats on it.
And I forgot what else.
Us up and we will mail you outa free sticker and it says cool
(27:41):
cats on it.
And and what I forgot what elseI was gonna say must have been
a lie.
Stay tuned because I'm gonnaplay the clip from Dolly Carton
from 102.9 the wolf.
We'll see you guys next week.
Bye, last thing I always wantto tell you.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I love you.
Oh, mama, I love you tooeverything.
Speaker 7 (28:05):
Country 102.9 the wolf.
All right.
Sun up means, uh, sundown fordolly, our, our adopted chicken
maybe we don't know yet and uh,she could have laid two eggs
yesterday.
We'll be going live tofarmington, uh, when we check in
with Kelly, our hen mother.
We've been given a chicken andhis chicken mission was to lay
18 eggs by the 18th.
(28:26):
Well, today's the 18th andDolly has only laid 16.
Speaker 8 (28:30):
I feel like you're just manifesting this.
You're giving all thesenegative aura, negative vibes.
She's being realistic, PT.
Well, I realize that, but I'man optimist man.
I'm trying to believe in Dolly,I'm believing in her.
You barely go to church.
I go to church every Sundayalmost man.
It's a little too late for youAll right, let's find what
Brooke says.
Brooke.
Speaker 7 (28:50):
Eggston Brooke, eggston, our Thunder and PT KMNB
chicken correspondent live thismorning from Farmington Brooke.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
What can you tell us?
I'm here in Farmington wherethe candlelight vigil for Dolly
the chicken is reaching acritical moment.
As of now, she's laid just 16eggs too short of the 18 needed
to avoid her nuggety fate.
Supporters are gathered, somewrapped in blankets, some
wrapped in emotion.
There's a quiet hope in the air, punctuated only by the
occasional clock from inside thecoop.
(29:19):
One young girl just whisperedCome on, dolly, you can do it,
but time is running out.
Will Dolly beat the odds orbecome part of a value meal?
We'll find out soon.
Reporting live from justoutside Cluck Row in Farmington.
I'm Brooke Eggston.
Kmmb News.
Back to you guys.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
Don't sound so happy, Brooke.
Hey, maybe she's on your team.
Speaker 8 (29:43):
She's on Team Nuggets , it sounds like.
Well, that's possible, that ispossible.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
All right, we are three minutes away from finding
out Golly's fate, oh man, and wewill get the final egg total
inside the coop next, in threeminutes.
Speaker 5 (29:57):
Last night, no way more than last night.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
Good morning.
Speaker 8 (30:06):
I don't like that tone of her voice.
To be honest, Well, why wouldyou?
Speaker 7 (30:10):
I mean, it's impossible.
All right, kelly, welcome tothe show.
Today's the big day, d-day forDolly, and you don't sound too
excited.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
No.
Speaker 7 (30:24):
Oh, no Well, first of all, I just want to say what a
great job you've done with DollyAn amazing job, not good enough
.
Well, listen, you can't blameyourself.
You know we all want to blameourselves.
What could we have donedifferently, you know, could you
have fed her some more?
You know, held her a littlemore, played different music.
Speaker 8 (30:43):
Yeah, the regret kind of fits in a little bit right
now.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Coulda woulda shoulda .
Speaker 7 (30:49):
Yeah, coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Alright, I'll get out thedrumroll here and let's see
where we're at.
I don't even know if we need itat this point in time.
18, Odyssey Farms gave us achicken.
They said we don't want it back.
Dispose of Dolly.
In fact, I've got the emailright here.
Do you have the contract?
As of this morning, hen number739, also known as Dolly, has
(31:11):
produced.
How many eggs do we haveofficially?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
17.
Speaker 7 (31:15):
17.
Speaker 8 (31:15):
All right, that's close I mean that's what is the
clauses when it comes to likeokay.
Speaker 7 (31:23):
If it's the morning, then we have to.
I'm reading it, Callie.
Callie Required 18 under the2025 spring layer initiative for
section 4.2 of the egg outputcompliance protocol.
All hen failing to be quoted by7 am, Central Daylight Time on
April 18th shall be humanelyretired from active duty and
turned into chicken nuggets.
Please prepare Dolly forreassignment to the protein
(31:46):
division of Odyssey Farms.
Okay, so have you sharpened theknives up, hey Kelly?
No, I think I'm going to takeDolly to work with me.
No.
Speaker 8 (31:55):
Kelly, we had an agreement.
No, Kelly, are you sure you'velooked around?
There's no other random browneggs, because we know she lays
brown eggs Like there's no otherrandoms that are sitting around
there at all.
Are you okay?
What Are you okay?
I'm nervous right now.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
I'm nervous, I'm sad for Naui's life.
Speaker 7 (32:13):
Let's just do that.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
Wait, what is this?
There's a message coming in ona separate secure line right now
.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
What message?
Speaker 8 (32:21):
Look at that line over there there's a separate.
Can you hit that?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Attention citizens of the Wolf Nation, thunder and PT
.
This is former Navy SEALwrestling icon, icon, movie star
and, yes, former governor ofthe state of minnesota frankly,
the greatest governor the statehas ever known.
I've just been made aware of agrave injustice happening on
your morning show.
(32:44):
You're threatening to turndolly the chicken into nuggets
if she didn't lay 18 eggs byapril.
18th right, which, of course,is today.
Well, let me tell you somethingI didn't fight in the jungles
of vietnam just so innocentchickens could be egg shamed on
(33:05):
the radio.
As a former governor, I stillreceive a limited number of
ceremonial pardons each year.
Really, it's in the fine print.
No, I wrote it myself.
Okay, see, and today I'm usingone of those sacred pardons for
Dolly yes, no, no, no.
Speaker 6 (33:25):
No, you're done.
Yes, no guys.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
Guys, that's not good enough.
It's not good enough.
Also please not good enough.
That's not good enough.
Also, please lower our tabs.
Yes, our tabs.
Speaker 8 (33:36):
Kelly.
Kelly's getting greedy shewants tabs to be lowered too,
from the former cover.
Speaker 7 (33:41):
I will say this I will say this I'm going to take
it one step.
I'm going to go, I'm going togive Dolly a reprieve for five,
five, three minutes, threeminutes, and I'm going to see,
if anything, any other callscome in in the next three
minutes.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Call now.
Call now, if it really matters.
Speaker 7 (34:00):
Well, better be big.
Better be bigger than that oneright there, that's for sure.
I'll give Dolly three moreminutes and then that's it.
Speaker 8 (34:09):
Perfect, that's all we can ask for Stay in Hang
tight, hang tight.
Speaker 7 (34:13):
Full moon shining bright.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Non-stop nonsense with Thunder and PT on the Wolf.
Speaker 7 (34:20):
All right if you're just joining us.
We asked for a bigger name thanthe former governor, who
thought he could still pardonDolly, our adopted chicken.
She's got to lay 18 eggs by the18th.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
She didn't do it, she's got to lay 18 eggs by the
18th she didn't do it.
Speaker 7 (34:37):
She's at what?
17, right, kelly.
17.
Kelly's been watching overDolly Today.
Speaker 8 (34:39):
it's the fryer, I just feel like what if she's in
line right now, like ready tolay an egg?
You know what I mean it's toolate, 7 o'clock.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
You heard the memo.
Speaker 7 (34:47):
I know, hold tight, this will.
This is probably the definitive, this is probably the
definitive voice in the matter.
Yes, sir.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Look, I've seen what's going on with Dolly the
chicken.
Everybody's talking about it.
She was supposed to lay 18 eggsby April 18th.
That was the deal.
It was real simple and shedidn't do it.
She didn't even come close.
She laid what?
12, maybe 13?
Not even close.
Truly sad.
It was real simple and shedidn't do it.
She didn't even come close.
She laid what?
12, maybe 13?
Not even close.
Truly sad, it's very sad.
So I'm here to say no pardon,no pardoning Dolly.
(35:22):
We don't reward failure.
If she had laid the eggsbeautiful eggs, the best eggs I
would have considered it.
But no, she didn't do it.
Well, so she's done.
But I know some people aresaying but sir, she tried.
Well, a lot of chickens try,but only winners get pardoned.
As to thanksgiving day, turkey,I gave him a pardon.
He earned it.
Dolly not so much so that's it.
Speaker 8 (35:44):
Then you're saying it's over.
Would you any chance you'dreconsider?
Speaker 5 (35:48):
well, look, I'm a very fair person, everybody
knows this, the fairest.
But we gave Dolly everyopportunity.
We set the bar very low.
Just 18 eggs.
That's nothing.
My farmers tell me chickens inChina, elaine, 25 a week, total
domination.
But Dolly nah, she gotdistracted, pecking around,
probably watching too muchNetflix, maybe hanging out with
(36:09):
a rooster, who knows?
I don't know.
So no, I will not reconsider.
We're not running a chickendaycare.
We need productivity, we needeggs.
No excuses.
She had one job, folks, and nowshe's nugget material.
It's a tough world out there,especially in the coop.
Speaker 7 (36:24):
All right, there it is.
Oh no, that's the finaldecision.
Let's sharpen the knives.
We're coming back.
That's ridiculous.
We're sharpening the knives ohgosh.
And Dolly goes into the deepfryer next On the.
Wolf in three minutes.
Here we go.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Back to everything country with Thunder and PT
102.9 the Wolf.
Speaker 7 (36:51):
All right, well, you heard it here from the top.
No pardon for Dolly, there's aline right now.
Speaker 8 (36:59):
This line has never rang before.
Sharpen the knives, Kelly.
Here we go no way.
Before you do this, there's aline over there.
It's direct to Nashville.
It's never rang before.
I have no idea what it is, butit's ringing right now.
Can you grab that message?
Speaker 7 (37:15):
Maybe it could be someone bigger than the person
we just heard from Listen.
It's 7 o'clock.
You heard the memo fromcorporate.
But you've got to check thismessage see what it is see who
it is.
All right, Kelly, can you giveus one second here while we
check this?
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Of course, are you still there?
Speaker 8 (37:30):
It's going to save Dolly's life.
Speaker 7 (37:31):
It might.
This, of course.
Are you still there?
Okay, dolly's life?
Yeah, it might.
You know it's important.
By the way, we're getting acouple of tech you'll you'll
have to actually boil dollyfirst after you chop her head
off.
And stay here, folks, becausethat's going to happen live on
the radio.
No, in about 60 seconds, butwe'll check this message first.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Hold tight well, hi there, thunder andT.
It's Dolly here.
I just love your show 109.2,the Wolf, and I know that it's
such a fine day to becelebrating love and life and
saving a very special chicken.
Well, today we gather around todo something very special.
We take one little luckyclucker and give her a second
(38:09):
chance at sweet life, scratchingin the dirt without a care in
the world.
Well, this here's Dolly, anagency of beauty, a strong,
independent girl with dreamsbigger than the barnyard.
Now, in the spirit ofcompassion, country music and
all things fabulous, I, dollyParton, do hereby grant a full
(38:32):
and unconditional pardon to MissDolly Parton.
What do you think of that?
We were dazed to feel thesunshine, just passing,
gossiping with the other chicksand certainly not working nine
to five, whatever.
You know, I gotta send my loveand make sure this is a reminder
to all of us.
Life's too short not to singyour songs, shake your tail
(38:53):
feathers and show a little mercynow and then.
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 7 (39:08):
Okay, thank you, Dolly.
Thank you, Dolly.
Okay, we've got to wrap it up,Dolly.
Speaker 6 (39:11):
It's enough to drive you crazy.
Okay, we've got to wrap it up,Dolly.
We love you Dolly Okay Thunderand PT and.
Speaker 7 (39:20):
Dolly Barton.
All right, dolly, you guys win.
Speaker 8 (39:24):
We saved that day Dolly Kelly.
She's alive.
Speaker 7 (39:28):
Oh my All right, that's amazing.
Dolly lives Whatever.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Well, that is some good news for Dolly when you go
to Popeye's, it sounds likeTrump is popping up those
tariffs, so I don't know howmuch a Chinese chicken is going
to cost.
Speaker 8 (39:44):
Well, we know, it was like $30.
It was $30 yesterday.
Who knows what it will be today.
Oh man Kelly thank you.
Speaker 7 (39:55):
You've done a great job taking care of Dolly, and
would you mind just holding onto her?
Speaker 8 (39:58):
Yes, For the next, you know, decade or so.
Speaker 7 (40:01):
For the rest of her life and we never want to hear
from Dolly again.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Like ever again Ever.
The best radio prize I've everwon.
Speaker 7 (40:12):
You get a chicken.
Speaker 8 (40:13):
You get a chicken.
You get a chicken.
Speaker 7 (40:15):
Kelly, we love you and make sure you check out
Kelly's podcast with her sonMcCoy on our Best Behavior.
Speaker 8 (40:21):
Wherever you get your podcasts, we might even put
back a play of Dolly and someother guests on our podcast, the
Thunder, and PT Repeat you gotany other chickens or hens?
Speaker 7 (40:31):
down there that aren't delivering, that we can
fry up still, because I'mstarving.
Speaker 5 (40:35):
Hell, no, all right.
Speaker 7 (40:37):
Thank you, kelly, we love you, kelly, have a great
day.
Bye, all right.
Some fine news for everybody, Ithink.
Let's keep it rolling 90minutes more fun, more chicken
and more country on the Wolf.
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