We Solved Sam's Problems Ft. T-Cav

Send us a text

What's in here:
• Sam's struggle with saving money
• The pressure of attending a costly bachelor party
• T-Cav's return - he's a plumber now
• Exploring the emotional costs of friendship
• Discussing the complexities of relationships and partnerships
• The importance of contributions in a relationship
• Sam's hesitations about dating and commitments
• Humor and heart in navigating adulthood

0:00 Financial Planning and Lifestyle Choices
11:08 Budgeting and Gambling in Vegas
18:39 Friendship, Responsibilities, and Life Choices
28:49 Navigating Relationships and Parenthood
39:25 Motivation and Life Choices
47:36 Convincing Sam to Date
59:55 Monopoly Ruins Relationships

Check out our sticker packs at OnTapWithTheBoiz.com

Episode Transcript

Kody (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of the ONTAP podcast.
You got me Cody, myshort-peckered friend Sam, and
our good friend Mitch.
Just kidding, it's T-Cavjoining us in the studio again
today after a long hiatus.
It's been a long break.
It has been a long break.
T-cav is a plumber now.
His ass crack is out right now,at this moment, can confirm.

(00:20):
It's part of the license you gotto have a plumber.
Is that when you're getting yourlicense?
No, it's when you apply.
You have to have a good plumberTurn around.
Yeah.
It's part of the interview.
Your pants are too tall andtake off that belt.
All right, you're good, that'spretty much it.
That's how I got the job I thinkwe're going to need you to gain
50 pounds.

(00:46):
You, you're a little skinny, allright.
So, boys, today's episode isgoing to be all of just one big
therapy session.
I think we're gonna discusswhat problems are in our life
right now, and then we're justright now at the round table, at
the actually this corner table.
We're going to work through theproblems with each other and
solve solve the world's issuesright now yeah, I absolutely.

Sam (01:04):
You know, I think there's no better way to work out your
personal problems and with yourboys live on camera and I just
I've got a couple things I'vebeen trying to work out and
sometimes, like with cody beingan old man, it's nice to get
some of that wisdom, likegandalf you know a little
professor.

(01:24):
If I may say, Cody's just gotthe knowledge and I'm here for
it.

Kody (01:30):
A little Professor.

Sam (01:30):
Oak.
Yeah, whatever the fuck that isPokemon.
Oh yeah, it is Pokemon.
Sorry, I only know Harry Potter, but yeah, boys, you know I
just one thing my biggestproblem that I've been been
really racking my brain on isI've been really working hard on

(01:52):
saving my money.
Like I'm in a position whereI'm trying to level up, get to
the next point in my life, andobviously the biggest problem
that's stopping me is money, andso I've been staying home on
weekends being a bum, trying tocook more meals, smoke less weed
, and it's working.

(02:13):
I've been saving the dough.
It's been great.
You know I don't work full-timein the summer or in the winter.
I was going to say damn Dude,part-time, year-round, Don't
work full-time anyway A littleteacher schedule, but yeah, hey,
damn, dude, part-time,year-round, don't work full-time
.
Anyway A little teacherschedule, but yeah, dude, I
don't work year-round.
So I've been in this patternover the last few years of

(02:34):
working saving all summer,getting to winter, getting back
down to damn near nothing,restarting again, and so I
wanted to really break the trendthis winter.
Well, as I has been doing wellwith this, my buddy shout out
carter, he's getting married,the boy's getting married.

(02:54):
It's one of the first mainfriend group homies to get
married that's true, it is andwe're gonna have a bachelor
party for him, which we're allexcited.
I've never even been to abachelor party.
Well, he hits me up and he says, fuck it, we're not gonna do
anything around here, we'regoing to vegas.
I want to go to vegas for mybachelor party and I was kind of

(03:15):
devastated by it, in a way oflike are you fucking kidding me,
dude?
I've been saving all this moneyto then go to fucking vega.

Kody (03:22):
I'm trying to buy a house because you're gonna blow it
like you're going to blow it.
You're going to blow it.

Sam (03:26):
Now I have this pressure of going to Vegas for his bachelor
party, but it's going to take alot of money to make this
happen.
It's his bachelor party, so hewanted it to be special.
Go a little balls out.

Kody (03:38):
So this Vegas trip is your motivation to get money.

Sam (03:42):
No, this Vegas trip is the thing that's I.

Kody (03:45):
This is the problem.

Sam (03:46):
So to get to the problem is I'm in a tough spot where I've
been sacrificing weekend afterweekend, not going out, not
buying like I want a snowmobilereally bad well, I want a
fucking house a lot more than Iwant a snowmobile, so I'm in the
same position.

Kody (04:01):
I get that really when would you ride a snowmobile?
so I ain't getting a snowmobile.
I'm in the same position I getthat Really.
When would you ride a snowmobile, though?
Dude, I was ready to buy asnowmobile today, and then I
just got the bills thing in myhead, like I have to get a house
, I have to get a house, and Ihad to keep saying to myself I
have to get a house, to not gobuy the snowmobile.

Sam (04:25):
So we can relate I would ride a snowmobile every day if I
could.
What the fuck are you talkingabout?
No, you would not.
You obviously don't have a sled.

Kody (04:26):
You have a winter like we had last winter.
You obviously aren't about sledlife.
Okay, it's a jet ski forwintertime.
That's what it is You're right.
Have you ridden a jet ski?
Have you ridden a jet ski?
Yes, two times.
And that's super Three times.
And then it's another payment,it's another chunk of money

(04:47):
sitting there.
I bet if you rode it threetimes.
It would be just as fun forthree times too.
I don't know it's differentsnowmobiling.
I will say that because morepeople have them and it's fun to
get up go bar hopping on thesnowmobiles.
Go fishing with it.
I would not go fishing.
Oh like on, the Go ice fishingyou're saying yeah, you're

(05:09):
saying uh, yeah, I don't do that.
Yeah, but you don't got to takethem, they're easier, sled
route, they're easier than a jetski.
You don't have to take it to alake and all that, you can just
get on it and just ride itanywhere.
Yeah, but I guess it'sdifferent for me now.
Yeah, especially now that nowhaving kids you can I mean
they're not old enough I can'tbring them on the on the
snowmobile you know, likethere's it's, there's no
convenience aspect to it.
It is fun you could take them on, it is fun but I don't think

(05:29):
you get your money's worth outof it.
I think, dollar for dollar,you're way better off buying a
side by side dude a side byside's a car that's what I'm
saying.
You drive it everywhere you'rewrong.
Yeah, but it's like the sameprice as a car, no no, no, no,
no.
You look at some used ones onmarketplace right now, dude, it
is tanking, yeah but they'refucked, dude.

Sam (05:48):
You see what people do with side by sides there's a real
side by sides are the type ofthing you buy, beat the fuck out
of when it's about to blow up,you sell it and then you go get
a new.

Kody (05:56):
Exactly everybody knows you know how many times I've
driven a side by side not wideopen never.
How many times, how many.
You're just a skilled driver.
How many times have you taken aside by side out just for a
little jaunt and not not donewhen I owned one all the time,
because I would drive it towalmart.
I'd go drive and you're tellingme when you went to walmart,

(06:18):
you didn't rap on it at leastone time oh yeah, definitely
exactly, but not enough for itto fuck the next guy that bought
it.

Sam (06:26):
You don't know that it could You're telling me that
there wasn't a couple things inyour head like After a couple
beers.

Kody (06:32):
Oh no, I beat the shit out of it.
For sure I beat the shit out ofit.

Sam (06:34):
But I'm saying there had to be a couple things in the back
of your head.
Would you have sold it?
It had a lot of life left in itand warranty.

Kody (06:49):
Whoever was getting it was like it's not that big of a
risk, dude.

Sam (06:52):
You know how many buddies I have that have been like oh
yeah, I'm selling my truck or myside by side, whatever it is.
And then a friend asked themlike how much I might buy it,
and they're like I wouldn't sellit to you.

Kody (07:01):
Yeah, well, that was like when I sold that Yukon I had
330,000 miles on that thing Ihad a bunch of friends hit me up
because I posted on Marketplacefor $1,500, fully expecting to
get like $1,000.
You know.
So I had a bunch of friends hitme up.
Hey saw you got this thing forsale.
My little brother is lookingfor this, or, you know, I'm
looking for a commute orwhatever, whatever.
And I'm like, no, do not buythis.

(07:23):
I want this to go to someone Idon't know you're gonna have to
eat shit on 50.
I was I was very transparentwith everyone, regardless if I
knew them or not, that it was apiece of shit too, like I told
them hey, this is what it is.
It's got 330 000 good breaktomorrow.
It literally could last another10 years, or it could last 10
minutes dude, you bought it.

Sam (07:41):
I've been in those tough positions before where, like, I
had a 6.0 gasser that I wastrying to sell because I found
the car I wanted, gotpre-approved for the loan and I
was going to use this truck formy down payment and so I was
trying to sell it quick.
I had it on Marketplace and mydad's like, hey, the neighbor
really wants your truck.
And, dude, this truck wasfucked.
Like if you were driving intwo-wheel drive it would make

(08:04):
this terrible sound.
I would drive everywhere infour-wheel, which is worse for
it.
Just so I didn't have to listento that sound like it was
fucked and I knew it.
None of the windows worked,like I think the the front
passenger side worked and I waslike it was a big moment where I
was like do I really want tosell it to the neighbor?

Kody (08:24):
yeah he can just walk over here.
You're going to get himknocking on your door in three
days, Dude I sell it to theneighbor.

Sam (08:31):
Take the $2,500 that I got for it and then I'm sitting
there stressing dude, I'm likefucking, this thing's fucked.
Two weeks later, rear end goesout on it.
I'm holy fuck dude.
I dodged a bullet.
He never said shit to mebesides that.
I was like how's the truck?
He's like not good.
Rear end just went on okay,back to the problem.

Kody (08:52):
Back to the problem.
Your problem is you need tosave money.
So this trip to las vegas isgoing to be a big issue for you
because you think you're goingto spend way too much money.

Sam (09:00):
It's not even like the saving money is a huge part of
it, but another part of why I'mhesitant to spend money on a
trip like this is because of allthe time I've already given up
to save this money, like all theall the fun nights I passed on
just so I didn't have 140 bartab.
And you know, vegas is not mycall, I don't like to gamble it.

(09:25):
Actually, I hate losing moneymore than I enjoy winning it and
I just like that's a good point.
When you put all the all theexpenses together, it just it
would kill me to put all thistime and effort in to just blow
it at a place I'm not even thatexcited to go to right but it's
also my buddy since kindergarten.

Kody (09:47):
Well, actually the nice thing about vegas is literally
whatever you want to do, theyhave it like you name it, you
can do it, and the only downsideis you have to pay for it.
Everything costs money, andvegas is not cheap.
It's cheap to go to, but whileyou're there is not cheap.
It's cheap to go to, but whileyou're there is not cheap.
Flights are always dirt cheap,hotels are very reasonable and

(10:09):
almost always you'll get invitedback for free if you sign up
for whatever player's card ofwhatever casino you're staying
at.
But everything there isexpensive.
I remember the first time I wasever in Vegas, on my 21st
birthday, I go up to this barand they had these tall plastic
cups and it was like a Jack andCoke smoothie or something.

(10:30):
I was like hell yeah, I'll taketwo of those.
I had someone with me, boughtthem and then they slide me the
bill and it was like 68 bucks.
I remember being like no, I onlygot two.
They're like this is for two$34 for one.
Oh shit, dude, but you get tokeep no shame, that was their

(10:51):
big that was their big deal.
It was at the d right on fremonttoo well, and that's exactly.
You are exactly what they arelooking for for the guy to be
like that looks cool, I wantthat, and then not tell you
anything until you get in thebill, you know yeah, man, I
don't think there was a price up.

Sam (11:05):
I can get too ready for you right now, baby yeah, yeah.

Kody (11:08):
So your problem is just you don't have enough money my
problem is I don't have enoughmoney.

Sam (11:13):
In the money I have, I'm not comfortable blowing it in
fucking vegas.

Kody (11:17):
You know, it's like I could buy a house you don't have
to just walk around witheveryone it everyone.
It'll be great entertainment tojust walk around, dude, that's
so gay.
No, it's not, it really isn't.
In Vegas.
There's so much going on allthe time, yeah, but all your
buddies want to play blackjackand you have to stand there and
watch them play blackjack.
Well, here's the problem anyways, Finding an open table anywhere
.
If it's busy, you get one ortwo people to sit down and

(11:40):
you're standing anyways, sam,why?
don't you just give yourself alimit, just $1,000.
Just say $1,000.
Just bring $1,000 cash with,and that's what you do.

Sam (11:53):
But that's the problem.
How much am I already in forthe flights?
The hotel Dude, it startsfucking adding up.

Kody (11:59):
Well, only if you had a way to calculate that.
I don't have a money, guy dudepull up the calculator app on
your phone but that's what I'msaying.
I don't want to spend anyfucking money so it sounds like
the only solution to thisproblem is making more money or
not go to vegas.

Sam (12:18):
Well, so you have to go though I guess, to really break
it down, which you just answered, is do I have to make this work
as a buddy like if I skip outon this bachelor party?
I'm a part of the wedding.
You know I'm a groomsman inthis wedding.
You have to go you have to.

Kody (12:35):
So so I guess now you're saying I have to go, you do have
to go, no matter what.

Sam (12:40):
I just have to suck it up and be there.
But while I'm there I can.
I can manage budget myself aswell as possible.

Kody (12:48):
I just say give, yeah, give yourself whether you feel
comfortable with 500 cash athousand dollars, cash two
thousand dollars cash justwhatever.
Just bring that dollar amountwith and as soon as your cash is
gone, that's it.
But I do understand.
After a few drinks definitely ishard to you know dave ramsey
over here is trying to get youto put your money into stocks
and bonds instead of yeah, let'stalk about xrp, let's talk

(13:11):
about xrp instead I thinkhonestly, are you staying at
airbnb or hotel?

Sam (13:17):
so we haven't worked it out that far.
If I had to guess, I'd sayhotel okay.

Kody (13:22):
So hotel is nice because it's convenient.
You're always going to bewithin walking distance of
everything.
Now the upside to the Airbnb isit'll be a probably a little
bit cheaper splitting it betweenpeople and you can pregame.
You can, like, keep food anddrinks at the crib, which is
huge.
Now, the only downside a lot ofplaces you're going to have to
Uber if you don't want to payfor an expensive Airbnb.

(13:42):
So that's something to consider.
But the trick is pregame whenyou can in your hotel room, in
your Airbnb, whatever.
Make sure you got at least acouple beers, a couple bottles,
whatever you need in there andbefore you're going out, make
sure you hit a couple of those.
Nice part about Vegas ismarijuana is legal.
You can go to a dispensary andyou could be.

(14:03):
You could have a pretty goodtime for the entire trip for a
lot cheaper than it would be tobe drinking on those things that
you get from the dispensary, oryou're forgetting this very
valuable point.
You could win, that's true.
Put it all on black.
You're forgetting that.

Sam (14:19):
That's very true, it could change.
It could change so fast.
I could make enough to buy thehouse I want and have the trip
of my life Exactly.

Kody (14:28):
You got to think about it in a positive way.
What if you went there withyour $1,000 that you allowed
yourself to have?
You put it all on red, you got$2,000 off the line and then you
put it all on red again $4,000.

Sam (14:51):
And then you put it all on black.
Eight thousand dollars, allright.
And then you put it all onblack again boom 16 grand.

Kody (14:53):
There you go.
That's pretty.
That's a.
That's good down payment on afucking town.
That's good seed money.
And then you take it to binionson fremont street, go straight
to the dean martin slot machine.
You hit that.
Ain't that a kick in the head?
Bonus off of a five dollar and62 cent spin that that might be
shit it depending on how thewilds come across the screen.
We're talking potentially 30grand.

Sam (15:12):
I did all of a sudden hear a rumor and I don't know it to
be true.
But is prostitution legal inVegas?

Kody (15:19):
No, but it is outside of Vegas, right in Vegas, it's not
really.
Yeah.

Sam (15:26):
So you just got, you can definitely do it.

Kody (15:27):
There's cards all over the ground when you're there and
you can pick them up, andthere's literally a naked chick
on there.
You call the number and they'llgo to your hotel room so like
if I wanted to get one for afriend.

Sam (15:37):
It would be that easy to find them yeah, they're all over
the place.
That's good, but it is notlegal because I have friends
that would totally be interestedin a prostitute that would.
This information would fuckingbe invaluable to.

Kody (15:49):
Oh you, I mean, even if I didn't tell you, you would know
the second you got there.
There's literally guys all overthe place handing out these
cards, but they can't likehaggle you, you know, they can't
mention it, they're just likesitting there slapping these
cards.

Sam (16:02):
Do you happen to know the punishment if you do get caught?

Kody (16:06):
no, I don't, no I don't no sure I mean it doesn't matter,
I've only known one person toever call any of these cards or
you could just spend thatthousand dollars on a hooker
dude, that would make it anawesome trip, but I'd say the
wisest thing to do is, if youwent there with a thousand
dollars cash and you went to theroulette table, take half of it

(16:26):
, take $500, put it on whatevercolor you think it is and then,
if you lose it, just spare the$500 for the rest of the trip if
you win it.

Sam (16:35):
But here's the thing, bro.
I need you to understand thatif I lost a $20 hand at Hinkley,
I would be devastated.

Kody (16:44):
I know I understand that I just can't handle losing money.

Sam (16:47):
If I fucking put $500 on red and lost, I might as well
sit in the Airbnb the rest ofthe goddamn trip.
I'm done, dude, that would killme.

Kody (16:57):
That's weakness mentality.

Sam (16:58):
You know how many sorry ass rides I've had home from the
Hinkley Casino Over $60.
I get it, dude.
I get it, dude, I it's.
I get it like it is.
So I can handle watching peoplegamble, like if a couple
buddies are like, yeah, let's goto the casino, I'm more down
just for the atmosphere and thedrinks.
I'll watch gambling for a night.
But I fucking I don't know if Icould do it if I, if I go to

(17:19):
the casino and I lose, you know,a hundred plus dollars.

Kody (17:23):
I feel the same way you do , like I'm.
I'm mad at myself for the restof the fucking night until I go
to bed.
But if I lose 60, 70 dollars orwhatever it's a friday night or
whatever I would just considerit as what would I?
What would a night have cost tome if I were to go do something
that wasn't the casino spoken?
like a true gambling, say yeah,say I went to, say I went to the

(17:46):
cities with my friends, youknow.
We hit a bar, went to can canwonderland, bought drinks there.
Whatever, I know that night isgoing to cost me a hundred
dollars.
So if I lose sixty dollars atthe casino, in my mind it's like
, well, I was, it's friday night.
I'm no matter what I'm going tospend sixty dollars period.
It's like four in the morning,so he's sweating.
Rips off the covers, all right,I'm going back down there but

(18:09):
you're gonna spend it anyways ismy point.
You're, you're there to have fun, you're there for a bachelor
party.

Sam (18:14):
That's the whole point, yeah and I've also never been so
like, and you've never.
What a better time to go.
It's a vacation.

Kody (18:21):
It's a vacation, you have to experience it.

Sam (18:23):
You gotta oh my god, dude, I'm so glad like this was a real
life problem and I feel so muchbetter about it now, dude,
because I was fully like, fuckthat, I ain't going money coming
, money going ain't like you cantake it with scared money.
Don't make money dude, andthat's some true shit that like.
So my dad.
You know this is where it comesfrom.
My dad missed two familyvacations in my childhood

(18:46):
because my mom scheduled it forduring work season.
He's a seasonal worker.
He was like fuck that I'm notmissing a whole week of work for
vacation.
That's fucking pussy shit.
And so I now like I can feelthat shit ingrained in me.
It's like miss work for fun.
Are you kidding me?
But like I was just talking tomy dad, because my dad is just a

(19:08):
few years away from retirementto retirement.
My mom's right behind him andshe's starting to like talk
about all these big trips andhe's like fucking, I don't know
if I want to do this and I'mlike why you've been working
your entire life to get to thismoment where you can do this you
want.
This is the point, and luckily,my dad being blue collar, he got
switched into a management,less labor intensive job, so his

(19:32):
body is still pretty good.
He still has 10 good years ofbeing able to do whatever he
wants at least, and he's sittingthere like fucking sorry ass
about it.
Maybe I should take a fuckinglesson from myself.

Kody (19:45):
You know Right.

Sam (19:47):
How often am I going to get the opportunity to go to Vegas
with some of my best friends formy buddy from kindergarten's
bachelor?

Kody (19:54):
party.
That's a good point.

Sam (19:54):
You have to go regardless.

Kody (19:56):
This is what you also realize.
There's not a lot of theseopportunities going to be left.
Everyone's going to starthaving kids.
Everyone's going to startgetting busy.
You know, everyone's going tostart having kids.
Everyone's going to startgetting busy.
People are going to move.
Dude, we're already busy.
How often, like Sam, me and youused to hang out all the time.
It was like an every weekendscenario, like not me and you
directly correlated, but it waslike there was a party and we

(20:16):
knew we were going to see eachother at it, right?
How often do we have that nowIn the last year or or two?
How often do me and you justlike know we're gonna bump into
each other?
at a party.
Hey, we got this thing calledthe cell phone.
You guys can keep in touchwhenever you want.
True, the phone works both ways, but there's not it.
We're say that it doesn't worklike you're not out doing things

(20:36):
at our age now all the time.
It's not every weekend right,yeah, you got responsibility,
yeah, you have bills to pay.
You have responsibilities.
You might have to work aweekend or something.
It's not like we're at 17 andwe know we're going to see each
other at a party the nextweekend.
I think, yeah, the more that wetalk about this, the more I'm
all in on you.
Just go there and blow as muchmoney as you can.

(20:58):
No, dude, I can't.
That would kill me.

Sam (21:05):
But that would kill me.
But it all comes down todiscipline and self-control.
If I can hold my ground andcome up with a number that I'm
comfortable with, fuck it.

Kody (21:11):
Are you going to get the tattoo while you're there?

Sam (21:12):
Fuck, no, dude, I'm not a tattoo guy.
I really get buyer's remorsewhen I buy even something over
$100.
I'm very wishy-washy ondecisions when it comes to
myself.
There's no way I could committo something forever.
Like dude, I've thought aboutit.
Maybe like a memorial tattoo.

(21:33):
That really means something tome.
That's it.
There's no like Will has likebean boy.
He's got a playboy bunny on histhigh.
Like I was really popular Likeyou know 15 years ago, yeah, and
it's really gonna be cool whenhe's 65, it's gonna be badass
his upside down.
Pineapple dude, that shit isgonna rock in the in the nursing

(21:57):
home one day dude yeah, I meanI can't say much.

Kody (22:01):
I have my wife's name on my ass, you know.

Sam (22:04):
So like, so like if we ever split up.

Kody (22:06):
I'll just keep adding to the list, I guess.

Sam (22:08):
You just got to cross it out.
Move on, baby.
That should be.
You ever get divorced, you know.
Hopefully it doesn't happen.
That should be the first thingon your agenda.
Dude, just straight X.
Don't even black it out, don'ttry to cover it up.

Kody (22:23):
Got to change it into something funny, I'll just put,
because it just says Taylor inlike a typewriter font.
I'll just put was here.
Maybe cross it out, put yourson's name Like just so you can
remember he's a bitch Perfectspot, he's a bitch Perfect spot.
I do have to quick piss beforewe go into Sam's next problem.

(22:43):
Yeah, absolutely we.
I do have to quick piss beforewe go into.
Sam's next problem.
Yeah, absolutely, we'll be rightback.
Oh God, tkf, it's good to haveyou back.
Man, it's good to have you back.
All of our guests are leavingus nowadays to go piss.
Mid-episode we lose them.

Sam (22:55):
It's fucking bullshit, dude .

Kody (22:59):
I'll hold my piss.
All day I've been trying tothink of a good problem that
would be worth working out herewith both of you guys.
I'm going to have to wait untilT-Cab is back.

Sam (23:05):
Well, you were telling me, when you pee, it stings like a
motherfucker.

Kody (23:10):
It's actually funny that you say that.
Okay, so I recently actuallywent to the doctor, because this
is a thing that I haven't hadto take.
But it's like in my stomach,not in my unit.

Sam (23:22):
So when you take a piss you get a weird like pain in your
stomach.

Kody (23:26):
Yeah, like my bladder hurts.
Dude, that's scary, it's likein my belly and when I went to
the, I just did a bad job ofexplaining it to the doctor.
Whoever I worked with, Allright.
Because it was obviously mywife works at the same clinic
that I went to.
Yeah, the same clinic that Iwent to, yeah, and so this lady
who was my doctor, she goes.
Uh, I gotta ask is there anynew sexual partners?

(23:51):
And I was like no, no, no, thisis like.
No, I'm, I'm explaining thisbad.

Sam (23:57):
She knows your wife works there right, yeah, yeah so it
was a really awkward.

Kody (24:01):
Like you could tell she was avoiding the question.
I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is not like a I caughtsomething kind of thing.
I think like this is somethingwrong inside of me, and yeah.
So basically I ended up doing aurine test and a blood test and
they found absolutely nothing.
I think I just found out I wasdrinking too much water, really,
cause, like in the morning I'llhave, I'll have a gallon down

(24:27):
by like 10 am, no way, and thenI'm pissing for 20 every 20
minutes for the whole rest ofthe day.
But that's why I think my shitwas getting stretched out and
then it would go.
You were just water drunk.
Probably my bladder would hurtso bad and that was the pain
that I was going through andthat would scare, and they just
had no idea.
You know, whatever they didn'tfind anything.
Everything comes backcompletely normal, like we don't
know what to do.
I was like well, me either.

(24:49):
And then I just stoppeddrinking as much water and it
went away dude.

Sam (24:53):
Okay, I don't know, I just worked out this problem myself.
This this brought me into aweird tangent, you know, because
obviously you're fine, but Iwas just listening to a podcast.
Uh, where we're?
This comedian, francis ellis.
I'm a big fan of him, he'ssmaller and he was talking about
how he got diagnosed withcancer.
He went in for a checkup andand the doctor called him and

(25:14):
they were like hey, we need youto call our office immediately.
We've got some news for you.
He calls in.
They needed him to come intothe office.
They tell him he has cancer andhe's like holy fuck, he was
actually.
He works for barstool.
He was in the middle ofbarstool idol, where they like
hire people, they have tocompete, and then whoever
survives gets hired.
And he, he was in the middle ofthis.

(25:35):
So he goes back into the officeand they tell him like or he
has.
They were like where the fuckwere you dude?
He's like I'm sorry, I I justgot back from the doctor and
they literally told me I havecancer and everyone was like
what the fuck?
This is in the middle ofbarstool idol.
A week later he gets a callfrom the doctor's assistant and

(25:58):
she calls him and she's like hey, we have great news.
We actually mismatched yourtest results.

Kody (26:05):
You are perfectly fine, oh my God.
So he had to go back and say hedidn't have cancer.

Sam (26:10):
He literally had no cancer.
The lady that it was actually awoman.
Because that's when theyrealized, oh, we fucked up,
because they found it was awoman's cells that were in the
test, not a man's.
And he's like thinking like,holy fuck.
This lady was told she'sperfectly fine.
He got the best call he couldhave ever gotten.
Oh shit, he's getting the worstcall and then he had to go tell

(26:31):
everybody now that he alreadywon it.
Dude.
Oh now that he already won it,dude oh he was hired barstool
idol on the premise of that hehad cancer.
He then had to tell him barstoolfans are ruthless dude.
He then had to tell them thathe does not have cancer and
immediately it switched tofrancis lied about cancer to win

(26:52):
dude.

Kody (26:54):
Imagine that, though, like he shows you know he's gone
from work, from the office orwhatever, he shows back up and
some snarky guy in the office islike where have you been
skipping work?
And he's just like I havecancer, like the amount of I'm
so bad you would feel after that.

Sam (27:09):
I missed this part in the story and I decided it would
have fucked the flow up if Istopped.
But literally one of the mainpart of the story is this so KFC
Radio, they were interviewingeverybody personally that was on
the show, it was a segment intheir radio show and he was late
and they were looking all overfor him.
And KFC is like dude, what thefuck, get in here.

(27:32):
They throw him right into theinterview and they're like where
were you On the show live lotand and he's like, sorry, I, I
was, I was at the doctor.
And he's like, oh, don't tell me, you got fucking cancer.
Oh, I swear to god dude andhe's like well, yeah, actually
that's exactly what they told me.
So it's like, I guess what I'mtrying to say is jesus,

(27:54):
hopefully you don't get a callin two weeks.

Kody (27:56):
Yeah, hopefully they got the test results right't get a
call in two weeks.
Yeah, Hopefully they got thetest results right.
It's been longer than two weeks.
This was like November oh thank.
God.
So we're good.
I think I don't know.
Hopefully I got all my testresults back and they're looking
good.
We're alright, we'll be alright.
Hopefully it stops hurting whenI pee In my stomach.

Sam (28:17):
So, Sam, what's your next issue you're dealing with at
hand?
Well, since it became the Sam'sfucking problem show one thing
that has been irking my brainand I really as two guys that
are just in beautifulrelationships that I look up to,
especially Cody, not onlybeautiful relationships, but
beautiful themselves.

Kody (28:35):
Yeah, fit, handsome, very beautiful women.
I mean the only beautifulrelationships, but beautiful
themselves.
Yeah, fit, very beautifulHandsome.

Sam (28:39):
I mean the men.
They hold their ground too.
I think you guys batted rightin the park.

Kody (28:45):
I think they are just as lucky as you are.

Sam (28:49):
And you know, I feel that there are people that aren't
looking to have a significantother at all times.
But you know, know everyonedeep down, they're looking for
love and if you say different,you're lying or you're ugly and
I, I just I've been racking mybrain because you know, there's
a part of me I'd love to have asignificant other, but also it's

(29:09):
like I do whatever the fuck Iwant every day and nobody tells
me different I if, if my buddiescalled me and they wanted to go
to Vegas tomorrow, I could.

Kody (29:19):
Without having to run it through anyone.

Sam (29:20):
I don't have a family I don't have a family, and there's
a lot of different reasons,like getting yelled at or having
them ruin your night,embarrassing you in front of
your friends.
There's all these sorts ofreasons.
You talk to your buddies.
They're like God, I fuckinghate my girlfriend.
So I want to talk to you twoyou two that are in loving

(29:40):
relationships and I just wantyou to convince me that it would
be a good idea To have asignificant other.

Kody (29:48):
Yeah, okay.
So this goes back to the savingmoney thing.
If you want to do that.
I would say Don't get into arelationship.
It's definitely not a cheapordeal you can have double
income yeah, to get a house, youcan.
That can make it easier well,you can be what they call a dink
dual income, no kids and uhthat is, you'd easily make over

(30:12):
a hundred thousand combined ayear because I'm looking for low
self-esteem.
I'm looking for there's an issuewith that that if you don't
want the yelling at you andgetting mad at you for no reason
.

Sam (30:22):
The low self-esteem part is not where you want to go yeah,
but I want them to thrive for mylove and acceptance.
I want that.
I want them to want, yes, me toaccept there's yeah, there's.

Kody (30:33):
There's two kinds.
You can either have the lowself-esteem one, or you can have
a good one, and the lowself-esteem one wants your
acceptance.
But you will have a lot moreannoying of a relationship than
if you get a normal one.

Sam (30:45):
That's true.
And one thing I've picked up onis you don't want the no friend
loser, because that adds awhole there's a reason when it's
like too clingy, where theylike literally have no friends.
Yeah, it's typically a prettyattractive girl right?

Kody (31:00):
no, fucking friends.
There's a reason why there's abig part of that, though I think
like, uh, social dynamics are alot different for women than it
is for men.
You know, men have a beef.
We'll squash it in person rightnow, right yeah, we were just
talking about this, but you know, girls, they'll leave it for
months, years, and then they'llstop talking to each other, and

(31:21):
then it'll be like this hatredthing.
And they'll die on that hill.
They will never say anything toeach other first.
Fuck that bitch, and it willjust grow worse and worse.
It'll start with just notreplying to the group message
and then, all of a sudden, it'llgo to a different group and
then, all of a sudden, it'll bethat group has one person that's
not replying, and then it'll beanother group, and then it'll

(31:41):
just be we don't talk anymoreand then it'll be something that
happens and they're justlooking for reasons to hate each
other.
Well, Sam, I will say on thegirl part, you are only seeing
the guy part of it.
You know there's two sides toevery story, no matter what
right.
You're only seeing your boy'sside of the story.
Good point You're never seeingthe girl's side of the story.

(32:02):
You're never seeing when thatguy gets home from work and his
girlfriend has a lovely mealmade for him.
You're not seeing any of that.
You're only seeing him sayingfucking bitch, won't, let me go
out tonight.
That's the only part of it.
You're seeing Good point.
Yeah, that's the only part ofit.
You're seeing Good point?
Yeah, because that's theposition you're in You're the
single buddy that has the lifethat they want.

Sam (32:25):
So they're unloading this on you because you are the envy
100% In my dumb brain.
When I was a young man, I wouldassume that the reason they
went through this bullshit wasbecause of the consistent pussy.
I mean, that's reason they wentthrough this bullshit was
because of the consistent pussy.

Kody (32:39):
But I mean, that's a part of it.

Sam (32:42):
But you start talking to some of your buddies that are
now in the longterm.
Especially if there's a kid,they're like dude.
I haven't been laid in fuckingthree months I don't even know
what pussy feels like anymore.
And then it's like it makes mewonder, even more like so what?
What's the end goal in this?

Kody (32:59):
and I realize you know that's just, that's just
something that happens ithappens to everybody, but it's
like so you want to be convincedthat you should put your name
into the dating pool because,dude, honestly, like I.

Sam (33:12):
I don't do anything.
I don't.
I don't even have a datingprofile on any app.
I don't reach out.
Yeah, because I am fucking.
Denial is like my biggest fearin the entire world, like I
would rather die than put myselfout there and get denied.
Dude, I think on shit for along time and it will eat me and

(33:33):
I just you know, Do you?

Kody (33:35):
well, I guess let me me ask this do you ever want to
have kids like do?
You see yourself being a fatherat some point.

Sam (33:42):
So that honestly, I think it's selfish, because that's
really the only thing that hasme even thinking about it okay
because, like I, I know that I'mstill really young and I have
that I have a good 10 years thatI have where I could have a kid
and still not be the old dad.

Kody (33:58):
Yeah.

Sam (33:58):
But I'm getting to the age where it's fucking coming up
close Start looking.
I remember thinking that myparents were old as fuck.
When they had me, they were 29.
It's getting there, dude, notthat old yeah.

Kody (34:09):
No, you are right, I think , because my parents were both
20 when I was born, and so forme it was always my parents were
both 20 when I was born, and sofor me it was always my parents
were the young parents.
Yeah, but I did have a buddywhose dad was like 65 when he
was born, and so by the time wewere, like you know, 15 years
old, like he was an old mangrandpa dad yeah, he was an old

(34:31):
man, like he couldn't do shit,he wasn't running around with us
, he wasn wasn't playing catch,and I'm sure that kid was a
little shit.
Yeah, definitely Because, dude,I've seen.

Sam (34:40):
That's what my uncle is Like.
He is the product of a grandpadad, like my grandpa got
remarried, had my uncle when hewas in his mid-40s.
Well, he didn't.
You know, he could do whateverthe fuck he wanted to.
Grandpa was worried abouttaking his pain meds you know,
didn't you know he could do?
Whatever the fuck he wanted to.
Grandpa was worried abouttaking his pain meds, you know.

Kody (34:59):
Yeah, he could barely walk to the other side of the house.
That's so sad too, but as a guyyou can really have kids at any
age.
As a woman it's considered highrisk, I think after like 35 or
33, something like that, likethey got such a shorter window
when they can reproduce.
They go through a hell of a lotdifferent process than what we
do, though.

Sam (35:16):
Their body changes, everything changes to bring it
back to like the kids.
You know like that's anotherpressure is.
A lot of my friends either havekids or are have like their
significant other is pregnantright now and it's like fuck, I
missed the first wave, so nowI'm thinking like they're all
probably gonna have a second.
I gotta hit the second wave.

Kody (35:36):
No, I get that.

Sam (35:37):
I feel that Because, dude, I have friends that my dad is
from Siren Wisconsin, about 40minutes from us.
I have six friends from therethat were my dad's best buddy's
kids that I would kill someonefor I'm a product of a bunch of
homies being like let's havekids and have them hang out like

(35:59):
I lived that, and so I wantthat more than anything for my
kids.

Kody (36:03):
It'll just naturally happen like that, though I mean
regardless.
If it's not your friends thatyou have kids with.
At the same time, you'll meetpeople yeah you know, it's like
um, all my buddies with olderkids now that are in like hockey
and whatnot, like all thoseguys are hanging out with the
other hockey dads.

Sam (36:18):
That is true, cause my dad just got new homies that are the
same.
When I started playing hockey,he inherited a whole new friend
group, and a lot of them stillare there today, so I totally
get what you're saying.

Kody (36:27):
Yeah, It'll just, it'll just naturally come that way, so
I wouldn't be worried too muchabout that, honestly.
But I mean, if you want to havekids, obviously you gotta have
a gal around.
You gotta have a decent galaround you gotta.
Now the trick is vetting herlong enough to figure out if

(36:48):
that's the right one.
I think personally.
I think you jump head overheels into the dating pool,
figure out the one before you'relocked in in, and then you're
like, oh, I'm just too old now,like I just have to settle down
with this one.
You gotta start trying, becauseif you start trying, you know
what you want, you figure outand you find red flags and women

(37:10):
that you know you know is a bigno-no yeah but, the only way to
know that is to try tell youwhat you want to try it out.
We'll life swap for about twoweeks like fuck yeah, I'm all in
, I'll go live with scrat.
You come and stay at the house,take care of the kids, pay the
bills do I have to sleep in thespare bedroom, or did I get?

Sam (37:30):
take a little daddy, so you can take?

Kody (37:32):
the bed that's your wife, that's your wife for two weeks.
I feel like you know, I get, Iget like that you were talking
about, like the women nagging,you know, and not letting you go
out and all that, and that is,you know, something that we all
go through as guys with ourwomen.
But it is kind of yin and yang.
You do have to have asignificant other.

(37:54):
I think it helps you make makeyourself feel more complete,
like if you have a peacefulother.
I think it helps you make makeyourself feel more complete like
if you have a peacefulgirlfriend or a peaceful wife,
whatever the case may be.
When you go home and you have agirl that you can vent to, that
has dinner ready and you canand she'll just listen to you
bitch about work or how shittyyour day was, and they just take
it.
And being able to talk tosomeone like that and then go to

(38:16):
bed with them is and you knowyou have that every single day.
Yeah, you know it's like a,like a best friend.
You know they'll never be oneof the boys, but it's like a
best friend that you always have, that you get to have sex with
that day.
If you just shift yourperspective, you can already do
that.
I'm sure you can find one ofthe homies that's willing to let
you hit.
Oh yeah, you just got to switchyour idea around.

(38:39):
Scrap my flip.
No, scrap isn't hard to get,dude.
He's been trying for years.

Sam (38:45):
I've been pitching it to him.
I'm like dude we live together,we might as well adopt a child.

Kody (38:51):
Listen, you got health insurance.
I don't Let, I don't, let's getmarried.

Sam (38:54):
Let's Chuck and Larry Do that shit.

Kody (38:56):
If they raise a kid, it would be fucking Ricky out
trailer park boys.

Sam (39:00):
If they raise a kid, that's exactly how Wearing flame
button up shirts, dude, if I, ifI turn 30 Without a kid, I'm
going to adopt one, and it'sjust gonna be Me and the homie.
Yeah, he'll probably be aChinese boy or something.
Yeah, get them smart.

Kody (39:13):
That would actually be sweet.
You skip kind of like the first, because the worst part of
having a kid or I should say theworst part, the hardest part is
like the first eight weeks.
They're just up 24-7.
If you could skip that and justroll right into young enough
where all they know is you butold enough where you skip that
hard part, I think that's kindof the sweet spot as a parent

(39:36):
who just wants a kid.

Sam (39:39):
No, that's fair.

Kody (39:40):
It's not like you're getting two-month-old babies
adopted, unless that's alreadypre-lined up.

Sam (39:47):
Yeah, if it was like a get them right at the hospital.

Kody (39:50):
Yeah.
I wouldn't mind, just picking upa five-year-old one day, Get
him to go.
Yeah, you know like.

Sam (39:54):
Yeah right, what's up, brother, you want to get in?

Kody (39:56):
That would, yeah, be my son.
You could just spawn a kid inat five years old, this driver
on the neighborhood first kidbiking.

Sam (40:02):
That looks cool.

Kody (40:06):
You want a new dad.
Is your dad an asshole?

Sam (40:10):
I bet he is Get in.
Come on, I got candy and weedin here.

Kody (40:14):
Actually, now that I think about it, I'm going to buy a
van and I think that's going tobe my new plan.

Sam (40:18):
Dude, that would be cool to adopt a 16-year-old and get
high with them and shit.
Oh my God, Just ruin their life.

Kody (40:25):
They've already been through the foster care system
and now you're just gonna smokeweed with.
Well, I can assume.
I think that's the exactopposite if they're 16 in the
foster care program.
They definitely smoke weed yeah, I'm not gonna get them
involved, like if he smokes, ohmy god, yeah let's fucking get
hot this video is gonna be usedas proof at the hearing for your
adoption.
That's like okay yeah, I justwant to pick up a 16 year old

(40:47):
kid and get high with him.
He's out.
I just want to pick up a16-year-old kid and get high
with him.
He's out, yeah, he's out.

Sam (40:51):
He probably gets drunk.
He'd be sick.

Kody (40:53):
So what are your thoughts?
Do you think you've beenpersuaded?
You think you're going?
to start dating.
No, I don't think he's beenpersuaded.

Sam (40:59):
Dude, honestly one of the main— See, it's funny because I
go back and forth where, like,where, like.
Obviously I don't have too muchof a problem putting myself out
there in general.
Look at what we're doing rightnow.
This is literally like a lookat me, look at me, laugh.
Yeah right but putting myselfout there in a dating atmosphere
, dude like it's, it's fuckingscary to me, like I making it

(41:22):
dude, because here's where mymind goes.
My mind goes to making a tinderprofile, thinking of someone
screenshotting it, sending it totheir friends being like this
is so fucking gay.

Kody (41:33):
Because I've seen dude, I've had other girls send me my
friend's Tinder profile.
Like oh my God, look who I saw.
Or that guy calling them gaytoo.

Sam (41:40):
And then like what the fuck that's so cringey?

Kody (41:43):
Yeah, it is definitely.
It doesn't have to be Tinder butyou have to try, you have to
start somewhere.
Here's the problem.
Nowadays, where are you meetinggirls if not online?
You are not.

Sam (41:57):
The last girl that I talked to pretty consistently.
Tyler and I at work had a verysimilar conversation to this.
He got me on Tinder and I met agirl immediately and then I
just never went on it again.
So I know it fucking works.
It's just about getting thathype up.

Kody (42:13):
Yeah, yeah, you're right now, but here's the problem if
you don't go the internet route,you're limited to.
You don't go to church bars,church dude.
That's the thing, though.
That's honest to god, why a lotof young people go to church to
find other people.

Sam (42:31):
The only girl that I would meet at church is a girl that's
trying to fix me.
Dude, I would never run Welldude, there's other places.

Kody (42:39):
I mean fucking go skiing.
Fuck.
Go to the troll hog and meet agirl.
There's not much of a socialenvironment.

Sam (42:47):
Give a stripper all my money and hope she falls in love
with me.

Kody (42:50):
That's honestly not a bad idea.
You double up on the Vegas trip.
You got both of these problemsknocked out.

Sam (42:55):
Hey, baby, you want to move back to Minnesota?
I got a spare room for you.

Kody (43:00):
This girl that I know that I went to ice with.
Actually, you know her too.
She was in Las Vegas and met ahomeless guy.
They took him to the bars andthey're just like this guy's
cool as fuck.
Hey, you want to come live inMinnesota?
Sure, they drove back with thishomeless guy in her truck.
That's insane.
He comes back to Minnesota andit's like a couple months goes
by and they're like hey, what'syour plan?

Sam (43:23):
Is that the dude that lives right behind us out in?

Kody (43:24):
the streets.
No, no, oh my God.
They're like, hey, what are yougoing to do?
You're like not doing anythingand he's like, yeah, nothing,
really Just going to chill.
Okay, he's like all right, well, I'm going back to Vegas, Like
okay.
So he goes back to Vegas beingable to chill full time would be
kind of sick, yeah, honestly itwould kind of.

(43:45):
But I'd get way too bored.
I don't know if I could, but Ithink that's just a mentality
thing that you have, like, ifyou could, I could change it, if
you could accept the fact thatyou're just gonna chill for the
rest of your life.
Yeah, and that's like the hippiewave yeah like look at the
hippies, they didn't have anymoney and they were happy and
they were chill.
Like they say, money doesn'tbuy happiness, you know.

(44:07):
But it does help.
It does help.
I just had this conversationtoday with uh, my co, my
co-worker, reed, is.
It doesn't buy happinessdirectly, but it sure does make
it a hell of a lot easier.
If you don't have to worryabout anything now, if you're
homeless and you accept the factthat you don't have to worry
about bills, then it's justendless chill time yeah, it

(44:27):
really is.
Honestly, I think it really justis like what's your version of
chill?
You know what's your version?
of relaxing.
That's chill, but smoking oldBetty you have to deal with the
idea that you can't get anythingelse.
You know, you have to beperfectly comfortable with what
you have in front of you, whichI think is, you know, a lot of
people's issues, includingmyself.

(44:48):
That's like.
That's what drives me I wantthis thing or I want this
lifestyle.
You just can't want that.
You have to be happy withinyourself.
You gotta let go of it.
You have to pull a hippie.
You have to be happy withinyourself and that's all that
matters.
Damn, that's deep.
Yeah, okay, Like.
Look at those.
They lived in a fuckingVolkswagen van and they were the
happiest people ever.

(45:09):
Good point.
Now here's the problem Again wego back to the whole kid thing.
It'd be a lot harder to do.
You can't do that.
It'd be a lot harder to justchill all the time you have no
more chill time.
No, I've never accepted that,and I'd rather not chill.
That also helps as a motivation.
You know if you want to be lazy.
You have no choice.

(45:30):
It sure does.
The bills got to get paid,because it's one thing if I'm a
little cold, but like the kids,can't be cold.
Like that's where you know, if Iwas, if I didn't have anything
to worry about and I had nobills, I would be a lazy piece
of shit.
I'd be chilling all the time.
But I do have to pay for things, so I can't chill.
Now, if you have a kid, youhave a fucking life to take care

(45:50):
of, so you really can't chillanymore.
No, it's a motivation driver,Sam.
That's why you should get agirlfriend and have a kid.
It'll help you make more moneybecause you'll have motivation.
There you go, dude.
Now we're taking it full circle,we're knocking out all of the
problems at the girl problem.
If you have a kid, get with agirl, have a kid.
It gives you motivation becausenow you have no choice to be a

(46:13):
loser.
You have to do shit.
You can't just chill.
You're trying to buy a house.
Also, two incomes makes it wayeasier to buy a house.

Sam (46:22):
Yeah, if they have another income.
What if they're a fucking loser?

Kody (46:27):
Well then, don't date them Then if you have a kid with
them, you can pick out that theydon't have a job before.
You have to be committed in therelationship.
And if you don't, that's yourfault, then you didn't vet very
well Okay here's a good questionfor you, sam If you could have
the perfect girl that would letyou go out with the boys, give
you sex whenever you want.
Breakfast made, dinner madeeverything is perfect in the

(46:50):
house, but they make $0 income.
Honestly, that's a pretty easytrade-off if you think about it,
would you do that?
But you have to cover themortgage, you have to cover all
the bills, but everything elseis easy.
House is clean.

Sam (47:09):
Sure, you know absolutely, but everything else is easy
House is clean.
Sure, you know, absolutely,that's one thing.
Like me and my buddies willtalk about the stay-at-home wife
and just the concept of it.
It's the dream, in my opinion.

Kody (47:19):
Well, again you add kids to the mix, it changes things
pretty drastically becausedaycare is expensive.
So from a standpoint a certainstandpoint you look at it like
you're making exactly the sameamount as what it costs us in
daycare.
So why don't you just not workif you don't?
want to.
So that's a little bit different.

Sam (47:36):
I will say that Well, it's just tough too, because you know
what I, if I, if I had a stayat home wife, that with the kids
, that watch the kids, kept thehouse nice, I wouldn't even like
dinners, whatever.
Did some laundry, like didsomething to take care of the
home.
It'd be fucking amazing what if?
I had a stay-at-home wife thatjust fucking truly stayed at

(47:58):
home and did nothing.
That would kill me, dude, Icouldn't handle it.
So it's like there's the yinand the yang of it so you want,
you want like that I if it, iflike, if I had your mom I would
fucking love it.
Like I'm not taking no shots,I'm just saying like,
respectfully you, dude, evenwhen you, even when you were a

(48:19):
20 something year old man, youwould go home after work and
your mom would have a deliciousdinner ready for your family
never missed like I've beenevery time I've ever been in
your house.

Kody (48:29):
It's fucking beautifully clean like that is the situation
I could live with but ifthey're just staying at home and
not doing shit, then it's likeoh, for sure you know you have
to have one or the other.
It's either you make money andwe both have to pick up on
things around the house, or youmake no money.

Sam (48:46):
But I want all this done because that's one thing you
know, if we're gonna get on amitch talk, that's one thing
that that bothers me.
Like you're not fucking it,dude, I dug this hole.
I might as well keep going.
That's one thing that bothersme is like I do.
I do think that the I came infrom a family where there wasn't

(49:08):
a lot of like traditionalvalues of like.
My dad did help with thecooking and the cleaning and the
laundry and that was completelynormal, and so I don't.
I don't live with thosestandards, but if you are a
stay-at-home wife, it's not thatit's like I would expect them
to do that no, it is just partof your job it's not like you're

(49:28):
a woman now because you'restaying at home, you have to do
the laundry and have dinnerready for me, but it's like if
you're just gonna do fuckingnothing, then what's the point
of doing this?

Kody (49:39):
you know you're exactly right.
That's my opinion on like womenis, if you have if you have a
girlfriend and they want to workand they want to help make
money.
I will have no problem withdoing half the things around the
house.
I will have no problem withhelping doing the laundry,
cooking dinner some nights, Iwill have no problem with it.
But if you don't want to doanything, the house has to be

(50:02):
clean.
My life has to be easier.

Sam (50:05):
And let's not call it nothing.

Kody (50:07):
I get what you're saying, but it sounds very abrasive when
you say it out loud.
Andrew Tate, but it's true.
If you want to stay home andyou don't want to work, that's
the requirement you have to dothose things.
You need to pitch in somehow.
You have to pitch in somehow.
It's not about saying, oh womenshould fucking make dinner and
stay at home.
I'm not saying that I'm justsaying if you're not gonna work,

(50:34):
you have to pitch in.
In that way is it?
Is it is this chair that'sracist and sexist.
It just comes in, bitch getsreplaced and we have a mitch
number two.
Now no, I'm just kidding, Ithink.
I think you're right, I thinkit's.
It's all down to contributionand, like you know, as long as
there's a perceived equalcontribution on both sides,
that's going to be different toevery single person.

Sam (50:52):
Yeah.

Kody (50:52):
For me personally, like I lucked out, like Taylor is such
a clean freak, like she wouldclean if she was home 24-7, or
if she's not home all the time,like she obviously works full
time too.
So all she does is cleanVacuums the house like every
other day.
Like keeps the place spotless.
It looks like we're ready tosell our place at any time
because she keeps it so clean.
But on the flip side of that,now she also expects me to put

(51:18):
in work like that at home, sure,and if I'm working 24 7, that
to me is not an equalcontribution so we're on the
same page.
Don't call me me sexist Because,listen, if Taylor had a busy
work week and the house wasn'tclean two nights of the week and
dinner wasn't made, you wouldbrush it off Because you know
she's busy, she's doing shit,right, yeah.

(51:39):
But if she didn't have a joband she was at home all the time
and you came home two days aweek and everything was fucked
and there was no food, you'd belike all right, you know you're
not doing nothing.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
I'm more of a scavenger.
Anyways.
More of a midnight refrigerator.

Sam (51:58):
I can live on pretty modest rations if I need to Meal prep
two weeks in advance.

Kody (52:07):
Yeah, our unspoken rule that we have between Taylor and
I is that as long as the kidshave good food, we can kind of
just figure it out.
Now she actually, within thelast couple years, has started
cooking.
She never used to.
When we first started dating, Iwould do all the cooking, which
is fine with me.
I love cooking Me too.
So this was like now.
It's like, I would say, a 50-50split, you know, between I'm
making pork chops and steaks onthe grill, or she's making
spaghetti inside or whatever youknow.

(52:29):
So it's a pretty evencontribution when it comes to
that keep that bitch in thekitchen, baby, I like it.

Sam (52:35):
I'm gonna do the mansion on the grill.

Kody (52:38):
She would never work with the grill, which I'm fine with.
That's my sanctuary, that's.
That's scary for a woman Idon't blame you at all I
wouldn't trust him around thebarbecue either but I feel like
like there's also a hotnessscale too, because if I had
Cody's wife.

Sam (52:53):
I would put up with anything.

Kody (52:55):
I would hire a maid to make it work.
dude, I don't give a fuck.
It's like driving a fancy car.
It's going to have all theissues, but you get the brand
with it.

Sam (53:04):
You get to show her around, bring her around for your
friends to see.

Kody (53:07):
Hey, it's got 120,000 miles on it, but it's a Mercedes
.
But it's got a V12.
It breaks down at least onceevery two days.
There's a lot of similaritieshere.

Sam (53:22):
Exactly yeah.
So with that, any woman lookingfor me fucking hit my line dude
.

Kody (53:27):
We've been talking about this for years and I know it's
been done so many times by now,but let's do a dating show.
No dude, let's do a dating show.
Let's do it like a 10.
Sam on the podium, like a 10versus 1 or something.

Sam (53:39):
That's like literally putting me in like one of I
can't even imagine.

Kody (53:45):
Well, you have the perfect cop out.
You get 10 of these women.
You get to get as close, ask asintimate questions as you want,
because it'll be good content.
But then also, if none of themtruly work out, you can say, oh,
it was just for the video.
But if one does, you're likeall right, you're in.
You have a good cop-out, youhave a great cop-out.

Sam (54:05):
Yeah, no, I don't know.

Kody (54:05):
No, dude this is a great opportunity.
Sign this contract.

Sam (54:09):
Genuine love.
You've got to ask the rightquestions.

Kody (54:14):
Do you have a job?
What if you?
met that same girl somewhereelse, then you would consider it
real.
If it wasn't a dating show.

Sam (54:22):
Well, I'm in a position where I'm just looking for one
woman to even be slightlyinterested.
You think we're going to find apool of 10 that are just dying
to be my significant other.

Kody (54:31):
No, but I think we'll find a pool of 10 that are dying to
be on any camera.

Sam (54:36):
And then maybe I can grism up.
I like it, dude, I'm in.

Kody (54:41):
You hooked them with the personality and then you set the
hook or you reeled it in withthe charm In your wiener and
your wiener yeah.

Sam (54:53):
No, that's foolproof plan I .
I'm all about, all right we'llget this crack in.

Kody (55:00):
Uh, ladies, if we know that you're listening, uh, call
sam hit us up shoot us a dm toget on the dating show no
weirdos, and you have to have ajob.
What are your requirementsactually?

Sam (55:12):
as long as we're listing it out, what would the application
look like?

Kody (55:16):
that's a good question obviously have to have a job.
We've talked about that.

Sam (55:20):
No, no that's not a if I would be willing.
Well, student gets a littledicey.
Now I would.
I was gonna say I'd be willingto date a student, but they'd
have to be like a senior incollege.

Kody (55:33):
How about, like a Mankato girl, I'm in dude.
Whores are welcome.

Sam (55:38):
I want to fix you.

Kody (55:41):
That won't work.
Sam that won't work.

Sam (55:43):
Age range I like them a little older, I would say 20.

Kody (55:50):
Now hold on hold on.
Let's rewind that You're goingto offend them by calling them
older, so we don't use thatverbiage.
Maybe this is the age that Ilike.

Sam (56:00):
I like them to be past Epstein Island age.

Kody (56:05):
Okay, that's fair.
So, like 18 plus 19 plus.

Sam (56:10):
No 21 plus 21 plus Bar age for sure.

Kody (56:13):
We need to be able to go to a nice steakhouse and get a
glass of wine.

Sam (56:16):
Yeah.

Kody (56:16):
Yeah, okay, 21 to 40.
Oh, okay, I was going to say 30, but okay, you opened it up
quite a bit 21 to 40.

Sam (56:24):
We need a big range.

Kody (56:27):
Height you need a big range Height.
Height doesn't matter, as longas it's under 5'9".
Okay, under 5'9".

Sam (56:33):
Ethnicity Opened all.

Kody (56:35):
Okay, this is going to be a touchy subject and people
probably won't want to admitthis Weight Body type I'm really
open with that.

Sam (56:44):
That's not something I Honestly.
Bigger is better to a certainfucking point.

Kody (56:50):
Okay, I'm not in you know, if they're too skinny.
This pool is wide open.
The filters are wide open.
We're showing a thousandresults right now on the search
page.
What else?
Religion?

Sam (57:04):
Oh, they can't be too religious.
Okay, I'm probably not aMuslimlim they've prayed too
much.

Kody (57:14):
That's a good point.
Seven times a day, or whateverif that would freak me out um
hair color.
This is a make or break foranything natural, anything
natural color.

Sam (57:25):
It doesn't have to be their natural color, but just a
standard tone no, you're tellingme, I was gonna say no purple,
no blue pink.
You know those are the obviousno's.
But like, even like a too muchof a red, fake red or really
like a blonde that like is moreof like a platinum blonde dude
platinum.

Kody (57:44):
Okay, a natural platinum blonde.

Sam (57:47):
This is all preference unreal me, but if they are a
full diet I'm not into that Dude, platinum blonde is a free
three points on any girl.

Kody (57:55):
Really Added to their Correct, if a girl is a five and
she's platinum blonde.
She's an eight.
Wow, that's my opinion.
Wow, platinum blonde is.
That's a temporary thing, though.
Here's the thing you can changeanything.
Appearance-wise, man, woman,does not matter.
You're big, you want to beskinny you can do that.

(58:18):
You can go into the body shop.
You want to have a skinny face.
You want to have a differentmuscle structure?
You can do all this.
You want to have different haircolor?
You can do that.
I think you focus more oncharacter, more on traits okay.

Sam (58:35):
Well, girls that think they're funny are gone why,
keyword.
Think if they're actually funny, they're in okay, if they think
if anytime I've ever heard agirl talk about how they're
funny, have you?

Kody (58:48):
ever met a funny girl, a couple.

Sam (58:53):
I'm not going to sit here, I'm not going to Mitch myself
around and say I've never met afunny girl in my life.

Kody (58:59):
No, it's rare.

Sam (58:59):
Because they're there.
Don't get me wrong, it's rarehe says no, it's rare, it's a
diamond in the rough.

Kody (59:04):
I've met two.
I've met two funny girls.
Girls will make a funny jokesure.
But, a girl that you'reactually laughing nonstop,
consistently because they'refunny.

Sam (59:14):
Where they're like legit, you would consider them a funny
person.
I'm not going to sit here andsay a girl can't be funny.
I'm just saying you're not afunny fucking person.
And so girls that think they'refunny gonzo.

Kody (59:28):
No, and the girls that are actually funny, don't think
they're funny.
Okay, that's fair Hard working.
Yeah, she has to havemotivation has to have drive For
sure.
Competitiveness Do you wantsomeone who's competitive or no?

Sam (59:41):
No, because I'm extremely competitive.
I think I need a little bit ofyang on that one.
Yeah, okay.

Kody (59:47):
Dude, that's a big deal.
So I think I need a little bitof yang on that one.
Yeah, okay, dude, that's a bigdeal.
So Katie is very competitiveand you can't play any game with
her.

Sam (59:54):
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
I need someone that will let mewin, Dude, it ruins everything.

Kody (59:58):
We'll just be playing.
We'll go to the gym on aSaturday night play some
volleyball.
I'm getting fucking he's bumpset spiking.
I'm getting 70 mile an hourfucking serve.
Set to me like and it's, it'snot.
It's won't even give me a point, it's not even fun, any game we
play.
If it's a kid's game, you knowit's, she's like I'm gonna kick

(01:00:20):
your ass.
You know, have you guys everplayed monopoly together?
Because?
that's a good that's a goodrelationship ruiner he said that
, like he was like a war, thatwe have, and it's almost like to
the point where you don't evenwant to cloud it when you win,
because you can tell they're alittle or dude, I can't imagine
playing with your significantother and you're about to
bankrupt them because they justfell on your property and they

(01:00:41):
can't do it.
No, I did that with katie andshe would like land on my
property.
I'd be like I'd see she haslike a hundred dollars left and
the rent would be like, or thethe payment would be like 700
bucks and I'd be like you canjust give me 50.
You can just give me 50 when Iwas a kid, we'd play monopoly as
a family and we never gotthrough a full game ever because

(01:01:03):
people would be doing sidedeals under the table and it'd
blow up the whole game.
You know people be tradingproperty, sliding money off to
the side.
It was like they were like myfamily would treat this like
real business, and I hated it,and so it would always end up
with one of us just leaving thetable because, like two or three
of us would team up on theother one hey, we need to get
out of here, dude.

Sam (01:01:24):
It would just ruin the game .
Yeah, it does get ruthless yeah, the competitiveness.

Kody (01:01:29):
So back to the application for for dating competitive
probably mild or for not mild,because if you're motivated you
have some level ofcompetitiveness in you right a
little spit fire in them, yeahright, so maybe not a die hard.
I have to win everything.
Sure you're okay with losingevery once in a while, yeah,

(01:01:49):
okay, well, what do you thinkyou think we got a good pool of
gals to select from?
I think we opened up a massivepool.
You have a pretty vagueunderstanding of who you want to
be with, I think.

Sam (01:02:00):
I'm pretty desperate.
Don't say that, cut that, editthat, bleep that out.

Kody (01:02:11):
I mean mean, if you have a pulse just hit my line, for the
love of god.
Okay, you've been convinced,all right, I think.
Well, what do you think?
Do we wrap this thing up andend it there?
If there's any girls out therethat want to compete in this
dating show, for sam's love, no,we have to we have, if you
would want.

Sam (01:02:26):
If you want to be honored with my personal love, hit our
line.

Kody (01:02:33):
All right, we'll see you in the DMs.