Crafting a Future Together Beyond Romance to Responsibilities

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M (00:05):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to on the mic with the M
and T, listen y'all, we gotmerch.
Look, look, Listen, the, howoff the press.
We got it all.
Just go check it out, go toovercome, to become calm and
just select.
We got everything.
We got women's gear, men's gear, all kinds of gear.

(00:25):
So definitely, this is justbeginning.
I got more stuff coming outlater on, but the beginning,
when this is this particular oneis is called God's mentality,
but that's for anotherdiscussion, is a little deeper,
but it's about a mentality and,of course, locks in love and
look at the face, nice, ain't it?
Go get you one, get your couple, get you quite a few.

(00:49):
So, yeah, we got a lot going onthis year.
You know we got the merch out.
Now we got some other thingscoming up.
We got some special otherprojects coming out.
There we're gonna come out withtalking to different people
about different things.
So we're ratcheting everythingup in 2024.
So just wanted y'all know, gopick up some gear now.
We're gonna talk today aboutratchety women, men.

(01:19):
If you got money, protectyourself, get that prenup,
because if not you're gonna likelike jeezy go take all your
shocking.

T (01:32):
That was shocking.
But what did happen?
Because we did, you know, likeeverybody else does.
We were on Instagram likenormal.
We hit the scroll button andit's like huh genie, my doesn't
want the judge to enforce thepre, not because she didn't get
a chance to read it come on nowa prenup.

M (01:54):
Come on y'all before you get married, not after.
So he had her a piece of paper.

T (01:59):
Yeah, papers the opportunity to say hey, you know, I would
like to protect myself in thisway, right, right, sure you had
the opportunity to protectyourself in your way, absolutely
.
And you signed off and say yes,this is what we're gonna do,
and also till death, do us part.
So now.

M (02:19):
Now team this, this.
Let's be honest, there was atime when people got married and
that really meant something andit really still do to a degree.
But now you got money involvedand money than people ever,
never.
People have never had this kindof money that we're talking
about.
I mean, you got people thatmillion.

T (02:39):
I think you know that whole idea of till death.
Do us part when it's time todie for it.
Everybody, everybody in thepool, I'm sorry, everybody in
the pool it's like, yeah, no, Idon't, I don't really want to
die cuz, cuz of the situation.

(03:00):
Nobody wants to die over loveor marriage they just don't want
to do it.
And so the other parts of that,you know, is the freedom of
bringing here, because,ultimately, if we know that this
situation, we can get out of itright.
The next thing is well, what amI getting out of it with?
Cannot leave with everything Icame in with it, you know,

(03:23):
cannot leave with what wecreated in it.
Those, those, the questions, atthe end of the day, when it's
time to leave yeah, and thething is, people don't realize
there's a pre enough in a postand we talk about pre enough all
the time protect yourself, youknow, before you get in the
marriage.

M (03:41):
But there's also so-called post enough that protects you if
the marriage doesn't work.
So you're going, it's okay, webuy property while we're married
, then we split it 50 50 orhowever you do, yeah, but that's
what you should do once you getmarried.
To be honest, I think youshould have that conversation
before you get married, becauseI get an actual agreement.

T (04:02):
Yeah, yeah, because there's more than just one type of an
actual agreement, right?

Mac Da Don (04:06):
I just think my my biggest issue with the pre
enough post on conversation isthat for some reason it was just
conflated with the you don'ttrust your spouse conversation.
Trust in love has nothing to dowith just being logistically
smart yeah you like.
I don't mean to be harm, no harmto suspect, but a lot of dub

(04:28):
niggas drive without insurancewithout license, everything else
but, like most smart people,drive with insurance because you
just don't know what's gonnahappen and the last thing you
want to do is you be buying theold sweet lovey.
You're somebody slamming toyour car at a warm bar because
it's a lot of no snow outside,rain drunk high, whatever, and

(04:49):
now you got a $12,000 car billto repair your shit and you
can't afford it yeah and it'sall because I didn't buy
insurance right.
So you get married, which is apiece of paper that Nessa says
like oh, you know, we'retogether, blah, blah.
You build up all these assetsin a marriage.
It doesn't work out because thevoice is 50% nowadays, that's.

(05:12):
That's not a question, that's afact.
And yet for some reason it'sconflated with oh, you don't.
You don't really love andyou're just looking for a way
out.
Why would you ever want topre-nump if you don't expect to
get divorced?
they said where I buy insuranceand hope nobody hits my fucking
car that's fair to hope that Idon't die out of nowhere and

(05:33):
leave my family with nothingyeah, say where you buy actual
health insurance and you wanthealth insurance from your
companies because, you justdon't know, with all the
diseases that I'll hear nowadays, you know you're not trying to
get a little big as good as youcan afford.
Like.
No one questions having healthinsurance or questions having
other insurance a productdisease show.

(05:54):
But that's a true statement.
It was fat.
Yes, I love it like.

T (06:02):
This is a perfect analogy.
It's um.
You can't paint the picture anyclearer than that no.
I mean, like your, your, yourparents, um, work hard to pay
off a home.
And then they give you a homeand maybe you know, own a few
pieces of real estate, right, um, and then you get married and
then now she gets you know halfof all like the real estate you

(06:25):
know you're a little devastated.
The marriage only lasts thethree years you know.
Now you're like what?
Like I love love, turd out, andthen she still did me.
Like that, and same thing for awoman, absolutely a woman can
acquire lots of assets and youcan't realize getting to a whole

(06:47):
situation of sham.
Take you for half of everything.
You sitting there crying atyour sister's house, crying Like
girl.
I can't, no, I can't believe it.
Girl, I've been told you hewasn't worth much.
Been told you, yeah, but I'mnot telling you not to enjoy
your little love fast.

M (07:06):
No no.
I'm just telling you, you know,protect yourself, you got to
Because, again, marriage is aflip of a coin.
We're not think about that.
You take a coin, we love eachother and obviously you flip the
coin.

Mac Da Don (07:21):
No, it's not a no it's not a flip of a coin, what
the hell.
It's a flip of a fucking coin,and you know it.
It's a little.
If the divorce is 50%, thatmeans that when you get married
for the moment you say I dothere's a 50% chance you do not
make it to the end of your lifefor that same nigga.

T (07:39):
That same nigga.
There's a 50% chance you do notmake it to the end of your life
for that same nigga.

Mac Da Don (07:43):
I don't like it.
I don't like it, I don't likeit.

T (07:47):
And then there you go, paying the analogy first, and now you
flip that coin you get hits withChelsea, with the marriage,
it's on the first floor.
We're hoping that night for youto have the two tails on it.

Mac Da Don (07:58):
You're also going to have to show If you flip that
coin, it's two heads and twotails.
Yep, like you, really hope thatwe that it's always going to be
the same result, no matter howI like it.
Yep, that's what you hope, butwe're just being honest.

T (08:10):
And that's all.
What about?

Mac Da Don (08:11):
this, just being honest with yourself.

T (08:12):
Yeah.

Mac Da Don (08:13):
That can't happen, yeah, and that, like you should.
What to protect yourself?
I'm not knocking the person whothinks that I lie, I lie, I lie
.

T (08:21):
You're not knocking the person who thinks that they
found their forever person.

Mac Da Don (08:25):
I'm knocking the person who's dumb enough to come
into a relationship witheverything, to lose enough in
the game and not protectyourself.

T (08:30):
Okay, but I think you can come into a relationship with
everything and still havesomething to gain inside that
marriage, right yeah?

Mac Da Don (08:37):
you can, you can, you can, you can protect
yourself.
That's true, bro, you can stillgrow yourself, yeah.
But yes, you're speaking likeyou and again, let's say we can,
we can even go.
Let's take two steps down.
Mm-hmm, you may 80K, she may60K.
Okay, nothing crazy.
Yeah, we got a huge disparityin resources.
You have both of us sittinghere talking about something

(08:58):
like oh, I got a house tour.
You're like nah, I just I made20,000 more than her, that
20,000 plus tax.
You know, you're probably closeto her, yep, right, but still
you're making more than her.
So if, for some reason, thisdoesn't pay out, well, you're
probably going to lose something, something.
Lose something.

(09:18):
You're my forever girl.

T (09:21):
It's your forever girl and your dog that y'all not even
talking to.
Yeah, because we taking thattoo.
Yep, and she was the one whowon the award.

Mac Da Don (09:29):
You know, Y'all know you had a flower bed that you
don't got in custom too, or sheknow she got her niece and
nephew that you love so dearly.

T (09:35):
I can't believe you know what that is and I didn't know.

Mac Da Don (09:37):
they shit no more.
They gone now.
You, you know you was raisingkids, yeah.

T (09:41):
And she they're not in your house.
No more, You're going to losesomething.
You're going to lose something.
You're going to lose something.

Mac Da Don (09:46):
Absolutely Naturally .
So I lose more than necessary,mm-hmm.
So I lose more than necessary,mm-hmm.

T (09:52):
Yeah, hold on on to something .
Yeah, you have to, but it worksin both.
You know directions.
It works for both parties.
A lot of times we just talkabout the situation where the
man is the breadwinner, or theman has the something to lose,
or the man is worth more thanthe woman and he's the one to be

(10:13):
protected.
But it's both parties.
When you come into a situationand there's lots of situations
where the woman comes into therelationship and she has the
more than and she gets takenadvantage of because she allows
the idea of love to just allowher resources to be free for all
.

M (10:33):
And Tee, right there, mm-hmm Love, mm-hmm Love has fucked up
more people's lives thananything.
Because you let your emotionsdictate your logical thought,
because you're thinking, oh, shecould never hurt me or she
would never do this to me, andthat that love thing blinds your

(10:53):
logic.
Because, logically speaking,that same person you love could
kill you.
Because we've seen it A lot ofpeople oh, I can't believe you
killed her.
I can't believe you.
You're like you love each other.

T (11:04):
I fucking killed him burrowing in the back yard.
What the fuck happened?
Nobody can ever believe it.
It's unbelievable.
God, I have to have a.
We can't believe it.
We cannot believe it.
Yes, absolutely.
That's a most unbelievablething.
We cannot.
Okay, we cannot believe it.
We cannot believe it.

M (11:17):
Yes, absolutely that's emotional and that's what
happened.
We get so emotional.
Yeah, it's logical, the logic'sgone.

T (11:26):
I think also like just the very idea that you get like
level headed and start to talkabout your partner long term,
about finances, don't you thinkit will open up a conversation
to other serious situations inthe relationship?

M (11:41):
You should.
Here's the thing If thepandemic didn't teach anybody
anything, you need to plan forlife after whatever, because a
lot of people never thoughtabout insurance, never thought
about death, never thought aboutthat.
You know, if you're 27 yearsold, 30, 40, some years old and
relatively healthy before thepandemic, you never thought
about your partner dying or whathappened if I get incapacitated

(12:03):
or something like that.
So that was a discussion younever had.
Now it's a discussion youprobably have to have because
you have so many other thingsafter the pandemic.
Others should go on on.
They had a real conversationbecause you know the other thing
people.
You know sickness and health.
That COVID, they're fucked up,a lot of people's health and so
that test people like whoa theseare sick as hell I go for I

(12:25):
mean a cold or maybe a flu, butCOVID got damn, oh Lord.

Mac Da Don (12:30):
Same thing.
It's just cancer, or?

M (12:32):
Yes or injury.

Mac Da Don (12:34):
Yeah, actually, yeah , broken Stroke.
I think that just causes ade-abilitating situation, can
really kind of throw yourrelationships sideways and I
think a lot of instances peopledon't know who they are going to
be until it happens that's true, you know what I?
Mean Like you wouldhypotherapeutic, you would

(12:55):
hypotherapeutic.

T (12:57):
We all know who the man's going to be.
That's why most women, when the, when the girls go down, we
like fly into the home to rescuethe husband.
And so the man or the whoeverthe living man is, because we
don't want you to destroy thesituation You're going to Listen
, listen, this will breakrelationships.

(13:18):
Yeah, okay, we calling in Mollymaids, AKA my sister.
We calling in the culinary chefservice, aka my mama.

M (13:26):
Oh, my God.

T (13:27):
We calling in a few because there's not many men who we
expect to be able to take careof long term.

M (13:38):
That's really you're so true.

T (13:40):
That's very true.
That nurturing side of it.
No, that's why women be sendingover trays of food I was so
happy to eat.
He wasn't about to rattle.
No, he wasn't about to put thattogether because that wasn't in
him.
He was taken care of.
And it can break somerelationships.
Man, we could be done, done.

(14:01):
The woman can be.
Still laid up in the air, armstill broke, leg back broke,
everything broke.
We breaking up right here,right now.
That's true Give a damn about me.
How could he just sit there andjust look at me in pain and not
even get up to make no damnsoup, and that man be sitting
over there.
He be hungry as they himself.
He over there starving.
I figured I wouldn't know shegoing to get up from her broken

(14:24):
back and make them.

M (14:27):
You know what, guys?
That's something nurturerslisten, will provide, will take
care of you, will fix a car,will fix a house with by clothes
.
We do all that stuff.

T (14:39):
But you're talking about something that we just got to
hand for something can do it Nowdon't be wrong, and we already
know who those men are Wasflipping and give a little drop
off, some juice or somethinglike that to that family because
we got it.
You know we'll give him somesupport.
He doesn't need much, thoughit's not been.

M (14:59):
No.

Mac Da Don (15:01):
I think that in the fact that, just when it comes to
men, like people don't reallytry to go out there with the
same man.
No, like you know, you're nottrying to find a way to save a
man, you're not going to saveanother man.

T (15:15):
Okay, a man to a man, okay.

Mac Da Don (15:19):
Like you said, if you want to go down, like you
got your sister, your mom, youraunt, like they go, come in,
right, but like if that guy goesdown, it's still going to be
his sisters, his aunt, hisbrother, his uncle, not going to
show up on myself, but you did.
Yeah, I heard your back.
Yeah, yeah, what's up, what'sup, what's up, what's up, what's

(15:40):
up, what's up, what's up,what's up, what's up, what's up,
what's up, what's up You'rearez.

T (15:47):
What's up?
Let me in, although Iunderstand that nothing else
doesn't come in, but more.

Mac Da Don (16:05):
The thing now.
Fuck me the same Sam, all right.

T (16:15):
Yeah, yes, and it comes out.

(17:05):
Any shows.
The relationships will getchallenged.

M (17:10):
Yes, it will.
It definitely will, because,again, it's one thing, your girl
, fine and healthy, next to shelay in the bed, she can't move.
You know you gotta pick her upmove around and Lord, don't let
her have some real fucked updisease, that you gotta walk her
to the bathroom and help hershower and all that shit.
Then you're like, nah, I ain'tsigned for it In your head,
you're gonna do what you'regonna do because it's your girl,

(17:31):
because you would think, oh, Ishould do it for me.

Mac Da Don (17:33):
Yeah, well, to a point, yeah, but To whatever
point that is.
Whatever that point.

T (17:38):
Yeah, because every person has a different level of
tolerance there.

M (17:42):
Yes, and for us as guys for me, when guys get sick, they're
like Lord, let me get the fuckup out of here.
I can't stay in this bed for solong.
I can't, because, again, thelonger I stay in, then that
means I can become dependentupon her.
And I don't want that to happen,because at some point she's
like, damn, when is my fuckgonna get well?
Or you know, you have heartissues and all these issues.
As a guy, I gotta give myselfwell because she could kick me

(18:04):
to the curb quick, fast andhurry, because she can find
another dude who's healthy andcan do all the shit I'm doing
and you don't have to worryabout getting out the bed and
all that other bullshit.
So you can't be an ill man.
No, no, no, think about it.
It's a society.
It can't be sick for long.

Mac Da Don (18:18):
I think that's crap.
I think you can be an ill man.
I think you be an ill woman.
I just think you.
I think the true statement iswhen you become ill, you also
need to accept that you're gonnarealize what part of it you
truly have.
Oh, that is the thing that Ithink is the conversation.
That is kind of hiding underthis is that the person you

(18:39):
married actually comes out whenyou're sick, when you have no
money, when a challenge iscoming.

T (18:44):
When a challenge is coming, yeah, well, like when your back
is up against the wall, whenyour back is against the wall,
you're gonna find out who youactually with and a lot of times
people get surprised, but it'slike.

Mac Da Don (18:53):
It's not like, oh, when he changed up, that's who
he always was.
He was.
I'm cool with the, the, the,the, the secondest part, but
you're talking about like yougonna be down six, seven months
or like you might be stuck withthis for us, your life.
I mean you talking about someof your back hurt.
You don't know if you evergonna do sex again.
You do you right with this shit.

(19:14):
You don't gain 15, 25 pounds.

T (19:17):
You don't gain enough All the challenges.

Mac Da Don (19:19):
Yep, like, like ladies are more willing to be
amenable to some of thosechanges, but I feel like men are
more resistant to that.
Like, okay, I can deal withsome of these changes, but then
they keep stacking up.
And now I was like, damn, thisis where I, every day, I'm being
a sexist, married with a womanwho back hurt, who gained 25
pounds, 30 pounds 100 pounds.

T (19:40):
Nah, that's facts.
And you're like come on, justput out a car and we're stacking
up.
Yeah.

Mac Da Don (19:45):
And then you, and then, of course, as the ladies I
hate to put this on y'all, butwhen y'all get sick and things
like that happen, where, likewho you were and who you are two
vastly different people youstarted to mythic about who you
used to be, it's us.

M (19:58):
Yeah.

Mac Da Don (19:59):
I'm mything the same shit.

M (20:01):
And this is I can't say it.
No, no, yeah, look at you likethat, cause I don't want to be
like this.

Mac Da Don (20:07):
I didn't ask for this.
I don't want you like thateither Jesus Jesus.
You're upset, I'm upset, but Ican't be upset.
This is your life.

T (20:16):
Yeah, but somehow you, they, they, the man, real, I'll be
upset.
You're not just mad at you.
Yeah, you're just mad at you.
Like this isn't even happeningto you.

Mac Da Don (20:25):
That it is yeah.
Every time I look at you and mydamn.
I married her and then we hadall these goals.
Now you talking about some.
We not going to have sex nomore.
You talking about your back onher always.
Now you talking about some, yougot it.
Now, all of a sudden, your hairstart falling out, your color,
skin change, some you just godown to the shoe.

T (20:43):
All those things go down.
Yeah, you don't have to havehands up with everybody, never.

Mac Da Don (20:46):
I can't do it.
Most people are going to hitthose walls.
You just want that your bodywill fall apart, yeah, but if
you do fall apart, you might besurprised to find the person
that you picked.
Is it for that?

M (20:58):
No.

T (20:59):
Or they aren't for that for right now, cause some people
need time to grow up and to havegone through some things, like
if you was in a household whenyou had a sick grandmother
inside of that home and youunderstood taking care of people
, you understood patients, youunderstood kind of ignoring
people for your own self carewhile taking care of people.
You understood the long haul ofit cause you maybe seen it

(21:23):
before.
Or you were in a home whereyour mother had a surgery or two
or three or four, and so yousaw her go down and you saw how
your father interacted with herand you saw, you know, you saw
these interactions of caregivingAbsolutely.
That person might be a littlemore mature in that sense.

M (21:42):
And that's true Because growing up I had onto where ill
or has some sort of ailment, andyou, just, it was a different
vibe.
You go in the house you expectyou're going to do something to
help her out, like do you needsomething moved Because she
couldn't do it.

T (21:58):
You took care of her, you knew to take care of her.
So when you went, inside thathome do double check.
There's a trash.
Taken out small things and thebig things, Cause you knew that
that person needed to be takencare of.
But if you signed up for a guywho was, you know, he's good
looking, he's charming, comesfrom a great family, well to do,
type of guy that he's neverseen illness in the home, right.

(22:21):
And so this is the first timewhen he's kind of being hit with
this situation, I mean fuck it,he fails, let's be real.

M (22:29):
He crumbles.
He's a statue Because hedoesn't know what to do.

T (22:33):
I mean, sometimes they do more than be a statue.
You know, sometimes they aremean back to you, like you feel,
like-.

Mac Da Don (22:40):
Or they are going in there on autopilot and they
just kind of do the things, butthey're not doing them with real
care, With real care exactly,yeah, that's true.
You might take your trash out,you might bring your food, but
he's not gonna smile at you,he's not gonna entertain the
conversation.
He might not sit there and saylike, oh, I really want to hear
about how your day's been.
You want to rant about itBecause to him it's just bitch.

(23:02):
I'm not even really trying todeal with this, I'm just doing
it, he's presenting everythinghe's doing.
I'm just doing it because itneeds to get done and I know it
needs to get done, so I'm gonnado it for you.
But I really I can't bebothered for like the emotional
side of it and unfortunately,when you do those caregiver
things it's a two-sided swordwhere, guess what, you're
getting stabbed by both ends.
If you're in a caregiver,you're gonna stab both ends.
You're gonna stab becauseyou're gonna have to do so much

(23:24):
for them.
But then you're gonna also haveto take on that emotional
burden of when it's the littlethings that happen that like
just cause everything to fallapart.
Okay, every day we get you up,every day I help you shower.
Today you're tired of mehelping you shower, so now
you've lost it and you're notyour crying, you're used to it.
Now you gotta eat that.
You gotta eat that emotionalburden.

T (23:46):
I understand why you're upset because this is a lot.
So you see why I say he failedthe first time.
Yeah, he failed the first time,the first time, like if your
guy fails the first time at it.
That's why.

M (23:57):
Yeah.

T (23:58):
Like it's hard and he's never , ever seen it before, whereas
women we're kinda called in.
You know, your mom had to gotake care of a good friend of
hers.
She dragged her along.

M (24:07):
Yep, I can't, or your grandma got ill, then you gotta go.

T (24:11):
Or your grandmother got a sick friend.

M (24:13):
Like women, always know another woman needs care, no,
and then see you do hair, soit's just like she gotta get her
hair done, yeah.

T (24:22):
Come on, t come with me.
We're going over there to cleanher house and then I'm gonna
make her something to eat.
Can you go over and do her hair?
So we just it's a whole fulllife service like thing.
Yes, that's what we do.
But yeah, if you're gonna gowash a woman up and clean up her
home and make sure she got somefood there, make sure her hair
looks like something too.
Exactly, women don't play anygames, but we're kind of brought

(24:43):
up like that so we can recallback from being, you know, young
children you know, get thegirls is what they call it, yep.

M (24:49):
Get the girls.

T (24:50):
You come in in twos, threes and fours, right, so you get the
girls together and they come inand they help do the cleaning
and mopping the floors and thesweeping and peeling the potato.
Whatever you need the girls todo, it's enough of them, right.

M (25:02):
That's true.
And for guys, we're outsidecleaning up.
Yeah, you know, something needsto be done outside.
We're breaking the grass orcutting the grass, whatever.
That's what you're saying.
They're not gonna get y'all.

T (25:11):
No, no, no, no no, no, because y'all gonna be too loud.
First of all, woman headalready hurting the boys, gonna
be in there and flipping off thecouches and stuff they're not
supposed to be doing that, soy'all can come left home yeah.
So that wasn't necessarily partof the males.
You know grooming as upbringing.
So we get it now, it's gonna behard.

Mac Da Don (25:29):
Yeah, the males got the other side of that, which is
the okay.

T (25:33):
if somebody needs something booed then that's where you get
all the boys.
Yeah, if somebody got a boo,somebody got a new piece of
furniture, television, somethingreally heavy and they can't
move by themselves that's whatyou're getting called.
The boys is coming out there.
Why you're a little storage.
That's what you get all theboys.

M (25:47):
Come on, y'all come Yep.

Mac Da Don (25:49):
Y'all gonna help move all these goddamn matches
in here.
Yeah yeah, it was differentpast.

T (25:56):
So, when your relationship makes you switch those roles
that you weren't accustomed to,right, that's the challenges
that you're gonna face and howyou act in that situation and
how forgiving you are to yourmate in those situations and to
yourself, yeah.

M (26:18):
Because the thing is, this is something new to you.
You're going through a wholelot of shit which and I can't
you know, as a guy, we're notgonna put any burden on you
because you already goingthrough whatever.
But now, as a guy, you gottasay, damn, I gotta at least suck
it up, because she's goingthrough a lot of shit.
I can't have her.
Look at me like you know, youokay, you like yeah, but I'm
fine.
But damn, I ain't signed forall this.

(26:40):
If you're thinking that, butyou're like, I'm fine, you know,
you're just trying to keepyourself together yeah because
you can't go down and she godown and you're both in the bed
crying, and so when you go fromthat point, it's like it's
stressful, it's a lot, butthat's the conversation you
probably need to have.
People don't think about it.
You will never think about ituntil it happens.

Mac Da Don (27:01):
And then you're like , oh shit, I ain't signed for
this, but I think the other sideof that that you mentioned,
that we don't talk about a lot,is that we are the person
recovering.
I get the mentality of like youwant to be kind to the other
people.
Please do not be kind to otherpeople and ask them stupid ass
questions.
I got you.
Are you upset?

(27:21):
Are you bad?
I'm just trying to be happy Ifyou really want to make it
better.
I'm so sorry.
I'm such a burden.
I'm really not trying to be.
You know, if I could do itmyself, I would.
It's still a shit like that.
And like don't say that shit tome, Don't say it to me.

T (27:37):
It's not for me, it's for me, it's for you, but it's also one
of those like yeah, no shit,you're a lot I'm already
irritated.
We are going to do this, but Ifeel like, if you don't say it
later on, they're going to add acertain type of way that you
never mentioned.

Mac Da Don (27:53):
that that's that's our most.
I think that's our most.
I think that's how my ladiesthink about it and I feel like
that's not how, like it's adisclaimer.
It's a disclaimer At least forme.
I will say I will speak formyself, I'm not going to speak
for all men.
I'll do myself to say I don'twant to hear it.

T (28:07):
Should we just say thank you?
Is that enough?
That's all I want to say Thankyou.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.

Mac Da Don (28:14):
You might limit the fact that you're in this
scenario.
But like, don't ask me.
Like I'm sorry, I wish I was inso much of a burden, because
then I have to sit there and say, no, you're not a burden, but
you are a burden.

T (28:23):
I'm like, yeah, this is a burden.
Now I want you to say that thisis not a burden.
No, because, being honest withyou, yes, this is a burden.

Mac Da Don (28:33):
This is a burden, so this is very much a burden some
activity, but I'm doing itbecause I care about you, and to
me the biggest thing is likeit's just me, I guess, and I
don't know many people who sharethis mentality but if I do
something for you, I did itbecause I wanted to do it anyway
, regardless, of whether or notI'm happy about it, sad about it

(28:54):
, whatever.
I did it because I wanted to doit.

T (28:56):
I didn't have to help you out of the bed.
No, we ate it.
Don't be trying to help meabout it.

M (29:01):
I don't want to get with the attitude.

T (29:04):
I got you up, didn't I?

Mac Da Don (29:06):
Yes.

T (29:07):
Like I'm picking you up, but now I'm sitting up feeling all
like crap.

Mac Da Don (29:11):
And you're like you're going to be upset.
I'm not upset at you.
I'm not upset at the scenarioat hand.
This ain't about you, but notthat you want to be about you.
I'm mad at you because why youkeep asking about me.

M (29:20):
Yeah, and then you can't at me, babe, and you're crying.
No, no, I'm not mad at all.

T (29:30):
I just want to be in this situation either, babe, and
you're just like you know what.

M (29:35):
We're going to work this out together.
And as long as you communicatebecause the communication is the
key if you don't talk, thenwhat happens is you start to
just it starts to fester.

T (29:48):
No, let's be real here.
Like when you don't talk andcommunicate, you start talking
to other people andcommunicating with other people.

M (29:55):
Okay, let's be real, that's what normally happens.

T (30:01):
Your man out there.
Workman's time is the longestworkman's compete and ever it's
the hell we don't.
We don't month eight, thank GodI know he won't be broken up
for you know your girlfriendback been down for how long
You're like listen, that bag,she's driving me crazy.
These girls is DMing me, theseguys is DMing me.
I'm going to start entertainingthem.

(30:21):
You ain't going to do too much,I'm just talking.
That is true.

M (30:26):
That can happen, that's how it's seen, and that's the
message you got to be.
You know if you're a woman, yougot to be surprised with the
kind of women and friend youhave too.

T (30:38):
Cause, then they start what.

M (30:42):
Talk about hmm, she, you know , she, she down and she.

Mac Da Don (30:45):
That's the one time when we know about football.
They free safety's quarterbacks, they just they.
They be ready for theinterception.
They be ready for theinterception.
They know football they gotpast rushes.

T (30:58):
Because they know all that you doing in darkness Right See
you complaining about all thatyou have to do for old boy right
, and she's been peeped him, shebeen had him on, like Like
that's what you got, I guess.
I guess, girl, please, youbetter have your eye on him and

(31:22):
on this fact though, cause assoon as you start looking you
know as somebody else, she goingto try to pull that you know
that's the guilt, like, oh, Ithought you was going to break
up with him anyway.

M (31:32):
Anyway, I thought you were going to leave his ass wild and
go anyway for the accident.
Where what, yeah Girl?
I'm sorry, my bad.

T (31:42):
Again, those are the challenges of the relationships,
temptations.

M (31:46):
This is all challenges that people don't think about,
because everybody wants to lookat the beautiful sunshine, but
it's the flip side it's a storm,there's a rain and sometimes
it's not you reaching out tosomeone else.

T (32:01):
Sometimes it's that person who's at work, who keeps on.
You know being extra polite toyou when you're feeling all run
down and you're the person keepon taking care of somebody, and
now this person at work is ableto take care of you.
You're like how convenient.
You know what?
Three years later, I finallywill go out to lunch with you,

(32:21):
cause I'm feeling run down, rundown.

M (32:24):
This situation is not going to change no time soon, and God
forbid if your woman has asituation like she's had a
stroke or heart attack,something significant that's
going to take her a while,she'll never be the same.
She could be better, but she'snever going to be the same.
So now you don't have to acceptthat.

(32:46):
That person who you married,and you look at the picture, and
you look at the picture.

T (32:50):
It's not that person, no more .
So now the whole copingsituation with that.

M (32:54):
Hello, and now, what do you do with that?
And you can't tell.
Listen, babe, listen.
You had that stroke for threeyears and I've been right in
your ass and all that stuffRight now.
I can't do it.
It's too much for me.
I got to go.

Mac Da Don (33:05):
Well, there's actually there's a technical
term for it.
I don't want to sit here andlie and say what it is, but but
you just get tired, like people.
It's like a caretaker's fatigue, I think is what it's called,
where you just there's a naturalfatigue that people hit when
you take care of other people,that you hit a wall and you
literally cannot do it anymore.

(33:25):
And you know, unfortunately,like once you go down, that kind
of takes for that person, itcould be that you go down for
six weeks for a back injury.
Then two years later you godown for eight weeks because you
know you had some type ofsurgery, and then, maybe five
years down the road, you go downfor four weeks because you had,

(33:46):
uh, you injured your ankle atwork, and then maybe two years
down the road and then, likethat, like that, like four times
, you go down, then they leaveyou Snatched.
I'm done.

T (33:56):
I'm tired, You're in my ass self.
Y'all always saying every timeI turn around Damn bitch, you
stay sick.
You're in your ass, stay sick.
Yeah.

Mac Da Don (34:05):
I've been in four instances over the course of
like seven or eight years, butit's too much.
It's I gotta worry now.
When is the next time you'regonna go down?

M (34:17):
Not if it's when?

Mac Da Don (34:19):
Because now it seems like it's a powder.
Yep.

T (34:29):
Now you gotta be careful.
Now you gotta be careful.
You're in the ill.
I'm sorry, to injury prone.
Yes, you're so fair, it's notfair.

Mac Da Don (34:40):
It's really not, but that's kind of what's specific
to the thing.
No, it's not.
That is you married.

M (34:48):
That's why.

Mac Da Don (34:48):
Because there are people like me who get married
and don't have theseconversations.
They think it, we don't evertalk about it.

T (34:56):
So when it?

Mac Da Don (34:56):
happens he like once is a fucked up accident.
Twice is a situation Threetimes a motherfucking pattern.
No, you said not to no you saidnot to no, it's not when are
you gonna get sick?
When am I gonna have to takecare of you for another long
stretch?

T (35:13):
Cause it could be, kids Cause it could be kids, yep, kids are
different.

Mac Da Don (35:16):
Kids are put you down, kids are put you down.

T (35:19):
No C-section.
No, that's the world recovery.

Mac Da Don (35:22):
Right, I understand it is very much on the go.

T (35:25):
I mean he just sounds a regular delivery.
It's like a man out.

Mac Da Don (35:28):
Exactly Something that he's not doing.
He's like what the hell isgoing on?
He's just not going with it.

T (35:34):
He's like hell over three days.
He's only gone for three days.
Is there what happened, god?
What's your next message?
You ready to clean out Likeain't nothing?
Eat, no, no.

M (35:45):
I'm gonna finish you.

T (35:47):
You ain't gonna get no food.
What are?

M (35:49):
you doing, sir?
I thought you'd be back quickenough to go get the take care
of that Cause you think you'resuper women, like you can have
the baby, you can go and burp,you can do all that stuff, but
realistically I'm gonna justcall my sister.

T (36:03):
That's realistically.
Yeah, see, you ain't do it,mm-hmm Okay.

M (36:08):
See, and these are things no one thinks about, and then that
puts burden on you.
It's not a necessary burden.
It's just a burden you neverthought about.
It's like funeral arrangements.
Who the fuck thinks aboutfuneral arrangements?
Arrangements?
Me too, and you, like you know,I saw someone TV the other day.
Did you have you?
Did you know?
Funeral cost $10,000?

(36:28):
No, I said, I'm gonna fuck, Iain't gonna be here anyway to
deal with this shit.
So I was to deal with that shit.
What the fuck?
Am I concerned about themotherfucker funeral prayer
plans?
I ain't gonna be here, I'm gone.
They just put me to graff.
They can hold a toss man there,but that's not what you can.

Mac Da Don (36:42):
No, you can't do that.
Yeah, I get your daddy to them.
Look, you gotta be able tostick to USB inside the coffin,
right?
So he can watch his favoriteepisode of MASH on repeat.

T (36:52):
For the rest, of life, because at that rate, that's
what's happening.

Mac Da Don (36:57):
Yes, Because at that rate, that's obviously what's
happening.

T (36:59):
Yeah, I have.

Mac Da Don (37:00):
Bluetooth so I can see my daddy as he decompose.
I'm checking on him.
They're like dad you good, Ijust want to check out all day
in the max, Didn't that job?

T (37:07):
You can talk directly to your daddy now, yeah.

Mac Da Don (37:11):
It's fucked up, but that's what they be paying for
now.
I don't understand why coffershave so many features.
I'm gonna talk about this inspace.
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.

T (37:22):
Five seconds, five seconds.
We ain't gotta have a longconversation.
I mean, it's a little tangentconversation.
Yeah, let's take a littleconversation.

Mac Da Don (37:26):
Like, why do coffers have so many damn features,
like you talk about some?
Oh well, you know we had thisvelvet lining right in this,
nice and embroidered.
You could put your loved one'sname on the inside and then we
could put a screen insideBecause you can't see my dad.
What's the difference then, ifwe doing?

M (37:45):
all this, then they can't even go put a line.
No more miles when they gettheir ass up and do some nice.
Advances are very huge.
They've been.

T (37:53):
I don't know how much they are, how much they're like what?
Oh wait, they can go face Crazy.

Mac Da Don (37:58):
Even depending on just the type of wood you use.
Sort of call it yeah, okay.

T (38:01):
It can change the person Wood variation too, the wood
variation.

Mac Da Don (38:05):
what kind of grain or what kind of cut in terms of
the grain do you want?
Do you want embroidered?
Do you want it?
What bezel Do you want?
Waterproof?
Do you want it?
Diamond out, diamond encrustedLike?
Why are you spending so muchmoney on a coffee?

T (38:20):
Did we ever go back to the gray sites?
Do we still do that?
When was the last time y'alldid that?

M (38:24):
Oh, I'm just lying.
I'm just lying.
I do want to go.
When I was little.
You should go and visit.

T (38:29):
Yeah, I remember, yeah, I remember.
You used to ask oh, we're goingto go back to the gray sites.

M (38:33):
And clean it up and put flowers on it.
I haven't heard a person goingto a site and no, you drop you
wherever they put you and that'sit, that's where you stay.
Nobody go visit you.
You say, oh, we're going to govisit with grandma.
You go.
No, you don't do that, you takea shot.
You know, a little shot forgrandma Done, you know.
Ha ha, ha ha.

T (38:51):
So grandma you're gone.

M (38:53):
I love you, grandma, but you're not going to go there and
stand by the.

T (38:56):
No, you just put a little prayer up in the air for them.
Yeah, and keep it going.

M (38:59):
But the thing is, you know funnels are a rip off and you
got them Because they play onyour emotions.
The first thing your grandmadied.
What kind of cash you put thisold rickety, our cash, for the
water and come in on yourgrandma and just decay her.
We want this beautiful land,one that you know is covered.
It's just waterproof and she'llnever had to be touched by

(39:21):
anything other than the airthat's inside the casting Dad.

T (39:26):
So no maggots for grandma.

M (39:27):
There you go, so you can spend a thousand or 10,000.

T (39:31):
It's like what am I decomposing?

Mac Da Don (39:33):
You can buy a thousand coffee here.
I don't know they got thatgrandma.
I would hate to be your grandma.

M (39:40):
So you didn't love her, you didn't love your grandma like
that you didn't love yourgrandma, you had the brands on
it, okay, and then you spend allthat money.
And then, to be honest, whenyou get insurance, the insurance
is to cover the people after,not you.
It's to cover people after.
When you get insurance, it's tocover your family, yeah.
Because I have to put it in theground with you.

(40:00):
It's for them.
But they get you with the guilttrip.
Like you must have a nickinggrandma with your grandma.

T (40:05):
Oh, you just parted that money for the funeral.

M (40:08):
Yes, they'll try, and the worst thing you can do people.
Do not tell those motherfuckershow much the goddamn policy is,
because they will try to takeevery fucking dime in their
policy and put it in theirground well, in their pockets,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Mac Da Don (40:24):
For the variance?
Yeah, Because they'll say howmuch you got A hundred thousand.

M (40:27):
Listen, I can get you this nice one for $79,999.
Mm-mm, and I just gonna covereverything.
You'll be able to send emailsto your grandma and everything.

T (40:36):
And you'll be like okay, whose tradition is this?
How like?
I'm just curious.

Mac Da Don (40:43):
I'm curious.
This is my mom.
I'm curious too.
I want to know the niggas whobought their grandma them
Samsung television and they damncalled for it.
That's what I want to know.
If you pay for a fancy call foryour loved one and you happen
to listen to this pod, pleaseput in the comment section why
you bought a fancy call for yourloved one, because I get them
entitled if, like you want topreserve the body.

(41:04):
But to me, when that person'seyes closed and they the lungs
are no longer function on theirown, the heart's no longer
pumping on its own and the brainfunction has stopped, that
person is no longer the personthat I knew.
That's just a husk, yep.
So if you sitting there sayingI'm gonna just let this husk,
that 20 bands go with the husk,that's crazy.
Yes, I feel like you don't loveyourself.

T (41:28):
You don't love yourself.
You don't love yourself, youdon't love yourself.
Yeah, that's crazy, that'scrazy and people and their job.

M (41:39):
If you're the one with directors are to make sure they
put you the most expensive gotthem thing possible.
They're playing on youremotions.

T (41:46):
Can I just ask you a question , mm-hmm?
For the one funeral with a guywho had passed away and he was
standing up for his service, didthey lay him down in the casket
out they?

M (41:56):
have to.

T (41:56):
I didn't understand.

M (41:57):
They couldn't stick him in the grounds like this Right.
No, it's too unfair if he'sless than six feet tall Over and
over Right.

Mac Da Don (42:03):
If you were going six feet under you're less than
six feet tall you wouldtechnically take up less space
being laid straight downVertically.

T (42:09):
Yeah, because that was you yeah.

Mac Da Don (42:11):
Vertically, you would take up less space, you
could dig a smaller hole andthen stick him in the ground.
Straight down.

M (42:16):
That means yeah, yeah, now there's some new burial things
that's happening now.
Like you could put someone as atree, like you put.
Listen to me, my favorite, theytake the body and you put it in
this shroud and attach it to atree and the burial.
So you actually will, you know,nurture the tree, and the tree

(42:40):
is basically you.
And that's how you do it.
No see, I?

Mac Da Don (42:43):
See, here's where my mind is fucked up, because I'm
cool with that.
And so I see a nigga sitting,some more Johnny Son bitch
running by and grandma'ssupposed to up as a tree.
He told my son I want to go dokick-tops off that bitch.
Now I gotta start.
You start on the grandma, no,so and you kick his off the
wedding.
You get to son, tell him I saidI'm gonna hang on the tree
house and shit.
What's the hell you got there,grandma, let him go, let him go.

T (43:04):
Somebody on Facebook said no, bury me as a walnut tree, so
y'all could spend y'all lifetimeeating my nuts and something.
That is shit, it's great.
And what if it's?

M (43:17):
just great, I like that.
But you know these are thingsyou need to think about Because
again, we are all going to die.
It's a fact.
You can't dance around it.
You're gonna be gone.
But make sure you're clear withsomebody on what to do with you
.
Free a piece of paper orsomething, because what you

(43:39):
don't want to have happen whichgets real ugly especially you.
You a god.
You see you have multiple kidsand then you die.
Now you got kids by differentpeople.
All the kids have to saybecause of your kid, and you
have no will.
Now they're fighting over you.
Now they can be fighting overyour money.
You can be fighting a wholebunch of different things, but
then you're gonna cause youbecause you didn't put something

(44:01):
in a piece of paper saying whenI die, I want this to happen.
You now cause a whole lot ofshit going on, Because then
you're like that's my daddy, ohthat motherfucker wasn't even
shooting me.

Mac Da Don (44:10):
Fuck all that.
I'm toxic.
I want my kids to fight.
I know I just want to come tothe trash.

T (44:14):
There's a part of me that feels like there's a lot of
people, a lot of men feel thatsame way.

M (44:20):
Yeah, yeah, I want to be.

T (44:21):
Wow, what was he called?

Mac Da Don (44:22):
100 Hunger Games type shit.

T (44:25):
No, the Nollywood joint on Netflix, chief Daddy.

M (44:29):
Chief Daddy.
You seen, chief Daddy?

T (44:31):
Yeah, all the women showed up to the dinner.
Yeah, no, we got to figure outhis affairs.
We was all his ladies.
Yeah, See no.

M (44:38):
Chief.

T (44:39):
Daddy just laughing See.

M (44:40):
He had lots of women.
Yeah, this is how you get intofist fights Before you get to
church.

T (44:45):
But I'm dead.
See, he was fighting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he got him oncassette.
Hell, y'all fighting if y'allwant to.

Mac Da Don (44:51):
My last act on this earth is to wash you niggas'
scrap.
I'm going to be up at the bestseat in the house.
I'm going to watch it all.

M (44:58):
Best feeling.

Mac Da Don (44:59):
time Lord I'm going to watch out for them from above
.
I feel like I saw some of themfeel.
That's exactly how the niggasfeel Like they was chaotic when
they was alive.

T (45:07):
That's when he was living.
I don't know how you're goingto be.
What do you really think you'regoing to finish?

Mac Da Don (45:11):
No, there's no logic in that.
That's what I can do is givethese people a nice bowl.
No, fuck all that, mm.

T (45:19):
Let's go see that out on y'all.

Mac Da Don (45:21):
I'm gone.
I ain't Y'all know this is good.
While I last At a blast.

M (45:26):
Oh see, ok, I'm going to be the logical guy, everybody out
there.
Here's what I need y'all to do.
I need you somehow some way towrite a fucking will.
We're going to go back onnapkin paper, toilet tissue,
something, because if you don't,you're going to leave behind
some shit that will be takingyears to get straight now,

(45:47):
because, think about it you diewith no will.
Now it becomes pulpit.
Now you got every.
Now, if you're a dude, that waslike you said, you got a bunch
of kids.
You got any motherfucker outthere that can come and say that
was my daddy, I should get apart of his estate.
And now Clamin' you, yeah, andit's climbing your ass now
because you know he's my daddytoo.
And then you got thismotherfucker and you know your

(46:08):
dad's rolling stones.
So you're like, oh fuck, itcould be possible Because he
wasn't man enough to serve somesort of.
If something happens to me,this will happen.
So I'm going to deal with thisbullshit, because then you can
leave the H that I don't want tospend a whole lot of money on
this, a whole lot of money onthat.
And then you know the otherthing.
It's terrible.
We've seen over the years whenyou be like.
Can we get some money to openthe grave?

(46:30):
Can?

T (46:30):
we get some money.
I'm just going to go there.
You saw my black people got toget the money together for the
girl you know, I don't know, ashort on that money to open that
ground up.

M (46:40):
How much you need?
Uh, $555.22?
.
Damn, you got nothing.
No, no, no, I can't.
Can you have a little,something, something, and you're
using all your money?
Hello, click, hello, hello.

T (46:50):
Do I figure out where my life insurance policy is at?

M (46:53):
Yes.

T (46:54):
So, in other words, we need life insurance we need wills.
We need pre and post-nuptials.
We missing a few forms.

M (47:02):
Yes, we are.
Ladies and gentlemen, I amliving fucking reckless hey
listen.

Mac Da Don (47:06):
Yeah, like you say, we're living reckless.
Yeah, there's too much, toomuch in just the context we've
had so far.
That points to you just don'tknow right.
And why do you feel the desireto be?
They'll prepare risk.
No reason to just throw up andthrow it up in the air in the

(47:33):
hope for the best, when you canactually secure it.
You can't like oh, I can eitherlearn how to drive or I just get
behind the wheel and hope forthe best.
All right, we're gonna drive isvery simple, just takes a
little bit of time, right?
Yes, but yeah, but one of them,you guarantee that you make it
to point a, point B, exactlyexactly like I don't know, this

(47:58):
somebody, and you know, iskilling me while we record this
is that like there's gonna besomebody who's gonna see the
clip of this video, this pot,and be like, oh my god, like see
, that's the problem.
Nowadays we don't marry forlove like everything's happy.
A business decision, it'sbusiness.

T (48:24):
The person that you are Mm-hmm, at some point you gotta
sit down and have some realserious logical Conversations.
Okay, it's gonna be before themarriage.
Mm-hmm, gonna be During themarriage.
You're gonna have lots oflogical conversations.

(48:44):
That's gonna be necessary tohave.
Absolutely lots of things aregonna come up.
Your name gonna go on this, myname not going on this.
Are we doing this?

M (48:53):
So we signing up for this Like join back account and, by
the way, people remember thisshit if you have a back account,
please put somebody else's nameon that back account, because
you don't.
That shit is locked up inprobate.
People forget that all the time, like, oh, I ain't putting
about, she didn't get in myaccount.
Well, if you die, nobody's intoyour account, because the first

(49:16):
thing back on do is say, well,where's?
Oh shit, he or she's dead.
Oh, what's paperwork?
Are you the person who'sdistributing the will you know?
So it's freezing everything it'sfreezing everything so you can
have a hundred thousand dollarsin that bank.
You're never gonna fucking getit because you never put your
name on there, for whateverreason.
But you need to put some Eitherthe child's there, somebody who
could go on there and takemoney out, because Funeral's

(49:38):
cost money.
So by the time you get yourpolicy and go and do all that
shit, it's gonna take a whilebefore you get the actual money
in hand.
So you have to use that cash todo things the funeral, the
opening of the ground and allthese type of things and these
are things people don't thinkabout.
It.
It's like but then who tellsyou?
Nobody tells you.
These are some things and theyshould, when you get married,

(50:00):
listen, have you done this?
Have you done this?
Have you done this?
Because you don't think aboutit?
And then why, by time you guysthink about it, your husband is
dead or your wife is dead.
Now you gotta put your mindyour head on like what do I?
do that you're fucking shockedthat they're gone.
The last you can think aboutwhere's the will at?
Where's the policy thing forthat shit?
You said they're gone Shit's.
Do I have to keep moving?

(50:20):
You can't just sit where I'mgonna get myself together.

T (50:23):
And this woman is found themselves like that.
You know they has been shockedthat.
You know they didn't handle alot of the finances, they didn't
handle a lot of the things thathe handled.
And now I'm the true andshocking you have to figure out.
You know the finances and youknow where's this that I don't,
I don't know what happens, stuffand people.

M (50:43):
Buy yourself an organizer, put by organizer, put a, put the
Versus, if you get in, put yourpolicies and stuff and put it
in one location that everybodyknows where's that.
So if something does happen,you grab it, because nobody yes,

(51:07):
couple, if you have separatebank account.

Mac Da Don (51:11):
Mm-hmm, I'm the most up to make account.
Take some a little bit heady um, but you're gonna have all
these things like have a centrallocation for yes, I'm gonna say
, hey husband, hey wife.
All my major importantarguments are in this safe way,
yeah yes, in this safe righthere.

M (51:28):
Yes and and put it somewhere that is that gonna get lost, be
misplaced.
If you got to put it in a safeor or safe deposit box at a bank
that you, baby, you know partof some place, you say, oh, I
know, is that, cuz that point,something happens.
No, this is, this is calledliving.

T (51:54):
This is if you buy yourself this is called maturity Right
hello so people who don't haveit and won't get it together, we
get it, cuz you're just notliving mature Like that's.

M (52:06):
that's what it really falls down to it really is and you
know it's just.
These are the things you do tobe a functioning human being, a
functioning adult.
And so we talk about the loveand all that stuff.
But this is the other side ofthat nobody talks about, but it
happens all the time it happens.

T (52:24):
This is definitely how you love on somebody and make sure
that they are taken care of.
I don't know what I'm gonna beloved on and she not taking care
of exactly.
That's a crazy concept.

M (52:36):
Here's another thing make sure you have a medical director
, because something happens.
You don't mean the hospitallike, well, do you want blood?
Because, for instance, just say, if you're a joy witness, you
don't take blood.
They don't use blood for what?
I hear these plasma.
So if you know that you want tomake sure that someone has an

(52:58):
information, you get an accident, you're like, well, I'm gonna
give her 20 cc.
No, no, no.

T (53:03):
When this you can receive.

M (53:11):
Don't leave me If you could speak for yourself.
Yes, you do so.
I don't know what she wouldwant me to do, covid.

(53:36):
Walking or driving in anygoddamn thing can happen to you,
so you won't be prepared forthis shit, is it?
Is it morbid?
No, it's fucking reality, it'sa life, it's like dealing with
life.

T (53:50):
And if you want to live your life and la la land or in the
fantasy of love forever andthings are gonna be beautiful
and just butterflies and youknow sweet treats, then that's
do that by yourself.
But I don't see why anybody ofany bit of value wouldn't want

(54:10):
to come.
You know down off that, youknow Beautiful cloud, and say
let's, let's plan, let's figureout ourselves, so that we're
always taken care of, so that wecan continue this love fast
together and it can truly growand blossom.

M (54:24):
Absolutely.
And the other thing is, whenyou have kids, don't leave your
kids in that fucking situationbecause you never had the
consciousness when you get, dowe want to have consciousness?
What our kids about dying?
Fuck?
No, but it's going to happen.

T (54:37):
So you want them to know hey, something happens.

M (54:39):
His information here I need you grab.
You know cuz never know.
At least somebody else knows,rather than me and mama know
about.
We only tell him or her oh, youdon't need to know all that
until something happens to you.
Now they're like what the fuckdo I do?
Yeah, so you gotta inform them.
This is a family decision.
So when you have kids you gottamake sure that they know what
they need to do.
So they now just walking aroundwho is?
Because they will be.

(55:00):
They will be and understandpeople.
As you know, there'smotherfuckers in your family.
They're waiting for the daysome fuck shit happen to you
because again they can walkaround your house all day.
Because your kids are fucked upbecause you're gone.
The dollar person is fucked upas you're gone.
Are you walking, Nicknack uphere?

T (55:21):
That's the opportunist in your family.
They waiting for anything topop over, any bit of opportunity
come trickling down so thatthey can have an easy comma and
it's.
You know, it's up to you onwhether or not you're gonna
protect.
You know the people whose yourjob is to protect, because the
bottom line is, your job isn'tto protect everybody and provide
for everybody.
No, it's just your immediatefamily.

(55:44):
Yes, you're them.
Let them know that they aretaking care of and and yeah you
gotta have those conversations.

M (55:53):
Uncomfortable but again I really had a uncomfortable
conversation.
I'm here having it, or besitting there and this is an
agent.
Be like Everything.
Is he looking around trying tofigure out because, again, it's
not a book that some I sayshere's what happens if this
happens.
It's not a book like that.

Mac Da Don (56:09):
It should be honestly, you, you should make
one.
It's similar to Businessdisaster recovery plan.
You just go for your household.
It should.
This should be.
You should, theoretically, ifwe were just carry this idea
have a book that has simple shit.
Like you, who's your contactfor?
Like oil, who's your contactfor electricity?

(56:31):
Like, who do you pay?
Like, is it PP?
G's it?
Like, oh shit.
Yeah, she ought to pay um, theywas like, okay, if you were to
go to this bank and like youneeded to to Get this
information out, like, all right, here's the account numbers.

T (56:52):
Yes.

Mac Da Don (56:54):
Like that.
Well, you can say like, okay,if you need to, just to give
some like information, like, oh,I keep all this on my computer,
here's my sign in.
And like the side is just likehere's the sign written down.
And, ideally, if you're in agood relationship, those things
are never, ever used.
It's just a book that sitssomewhere, that's just keep
updated, collect dust.
When it comes down to actuallyuse it, it's okay, I'm we know

(57:18):
what to do, everything that, allthe numbers we need, we need to
reach for shit.
Who knows shit is written out.

M (57:26):
Yep, absolutely, because, again, that is a very emotional
time.
You're not thinking clearly,you're thinking loss, you're
thinking how do my life continuefrom this day forward?
And you know your life will,but that moment everything stops
.

T (57:42):
So think about that, right Excuse me, um, the idea when
you're hit with any of thesesituations, right?
Someone dying, someone gettinginjured, someone trying to part
ways with you?
Right, we're super emotional inthose situations, right?
So you can only imagine whenit's time to have these
conversations.
We have to accept that thoseconversations will also be

(58:05):
somewhat emotional.
Oh, absolutely right Like it'sfair if, when me and you are
having a conversation about aprenuptial agreement, right that
there's some bit of emotionthat's coming out of one or you
know, or either party right.
Absolutely when it's time to sitdown and talk about you know,
oh, how we're gonna lay someoneto rest, even though you're
still living and you know allthose things that come with it.

(58:27):
It's okay the idea that Someonein that conversation is getting
emotional, right?
I think the biggest thing thereis that you're sparing those
major feelings that's going tocome up later on down the road.
Yes, yes, yes you're okay, yourchild is uncomfortable because
we're talking about laying medown in the grave, right.

(58:48):
But they would be extremelyuncomfortable if they were all
over the place and they didn'tknow what to do.
They didn't know where anythingwas at, they didn't know where
the money was at, right Yep,they would be extremely
uncomfortable.
So you might as well Be okaywith making people just a little
bit uncomfortable now to havethese Hard conversations,
because no one's saying that theconversation is easy.

(59:11):
No just because we're in lovedoesn't mean that it's going to
all be just easy.
Absolutely just because it'slove doesn't mean that this
conversation is going to.
Let's go down with champagneand roses.

Mac Da Don (59:24):
Yeah, because you just want to provide your, your
Spouse, at the end of the day,with peace of mind, yep, and
like I feel like we, as aspeople, should always want, at
least with your spouse, to havethey always feel like they can
100% feel comfortable in thisrelationship and feel
comfortable in what we're doing.
I mean, at the day, you just dowhatever you can, you know,

(59:46):
sign the prenup if, as long asit's in your favor, yep, do the
research, like no, I feel likefor some reason, people think
prenups is just like oh so Ihand you shit people, you gotta
sign it like no Take a lawyer.
Put mission.
There's a cheating clause in it.
Yes, make sure there's.
If a deli calls in that shit,make sure there's there's.
Oh, uh, we buy property.

(01:00:06):
What is it gonna be?

T (01:00:11):
About your own children in these situations, even if you
don't have kids in that moment.

Mac Da Don (01:00:17):
If I was to have a kid With this individual?
Yeah, I wouldn't want to atleast assure that.

T (01:00:23):
Or no.
If I had a kid, how would Iwant my child to protect?

Mac Da Don (01:00:26):
themselves All right .

M (01:00:28):
I had a good boy, something Absolutely I want my daughter to
protect herself.

T (01:00:32):
If my son came to a table and he had a lot to offer and, you
know, maybe I gifted him some ofthat a lot how would I want him
to protect, you know, him andhis family stuff?

M (01:00:45):
We have to be honest.

T (01:00:46):
When we're going into these situations, it's not just the
person who's asking you to.
You know, protect the prenup.
You're gonna be in thatsituation At some point.

M (01:00:57):
Yes, you will.
At some point you're gonna bein this.

T (01:01:00):
Yeah, whether it's you're the mom of the son who's asking the
girl to sign the prenup,absolutely, or you're the mom of
the Of the boy, right?
Yes, vice versa.
Um, you don't always sit in thesame chair forever, and that's
I think that's the most powerfulpiece about it.
Everybody's all offended overthe prenup until it's your kid

(01:01:21):
who's out.

Mac Da Don (01:01:23):
Until it's their kid .
Until their kid and all of asudden, like is a change of
conversation?

T (01:01:28):
it's like don't hit boys, don't hit girls.

Mac Da Don (01:01:48):
Like you said, like your son says there, you know he
making money you want toprotect his money.
Do you want him to always likebe able to have his back?
Which is why I say you know DNAtests, protect yourself, I mean
.

T (01:02:05):
Facts.

Mac Da Don (01:02:07):
Yes, fair.

T (01:02:08):
Yes, and I think that's why a lot of us do agree that the
station mandated, because that'sa messy conversation.
That's, that's a conversationfor ladies no.
Me Hurt.

Mac Da Don (01:02:43):
Because I feel like a lot of guys don't say it but
it's like, as a guy, I it is forme.
I understand, I understand thementality.
But, yeah, what I'm saying toyou does sound like I don't
trust you and I can get whereyou come from, right, but I feel
like the other side of thatconversation is never like
willing to be accepted of yeah,but you know 100 and I know 0%.

T (01:03:06):
No, sometimes it's projecting your shit onto us also, so your
dirtbag might have been outplaying field.

Mac Da Don (01:03:28):
The people who are going to ask for that If there's
trash, there's gonna be trashand you do do a trash, you know
you're not gonna have that kindof trash and not know you're
trash.
The guy who's good, who says toyou like he's always showed you
he was good, he always lovedyou, he always showed you good
shit.

T (01:03:47):
You ask him oh my god you know you don't trust me like no,
I just want to know for one.
I just in fact.

Mac Da Don (01:03:54):
That's my child.
Why?
Because, as guys we see, justlike ladies, y'all see all the
time.
I want to get married because Isee my girl.
She spent 15, 20 years withthis nigga.
He never gave her a ring, thenwhen he left she had nothing.
I want to get married because Iwant to scare and and
eventually your nigga says, allright, cool.
But the more we have the innatetest that you want to have both

(01:04:16):
the fucking bears, I ain't shit.
Now I called you a cheater andnow I want the worst for you.
And I am obviously cheatingbecause why would I ask you for?
Yeah, how you feel Assuring thefact that if I'm investing this
much time into this relationship, I'm gonna be able to have
something to show for.
That's fair.

(01:04:36):
I know for a fact that that'smy son I'm cool.
Why to me it feels more guilty.
A brilliant.

T (01:04:47):
I think it's the culture, maybe.

Mac Da Don (01:04:50):
Maybe, I just don't understand, like even myself.

T (01:04:55):
I know for a fact that if I would like, tamara, can you
please just take a humble DNAtest to make sure that my kids
is 100 percent my kids, that wemight as well break up.

Mac Da Don (01:05:28):
If y'all sit here and assume that me asking, as a
male, for a DNA test is assumingthat you, you ain't trustworthy
and that we should break upthat if we Dayton and
everything's cool, and then alsoyou want to ask a wedding ring
and I'm like no, I'm happy withthis.
Security works both ways.

(01:05:58):
If we want to in therelationship, you should want to
secure your partner.
Yeah, there's gonna be partnerswho will, who will know, who
would never be secure,regardless of what you do.
Yeah, you'll have a partnerthat you could be home on time.
You could be only going to workin home and you game or you
work, come home and you takecare of that nigga.
And he still finds a way totreat you like shit.

(01:06:19):
She still finds a way to bitchabout what you do.
You still find some ways tobite head.
That mother fucking never gonnabe happy with what you're doing
, period.
But the guy who shows up everyday.
He's always where he asked youto be or always asked.
You always ask where he is.
He's always telling you thetruth.
He's always showing up.
You never have to worry aboutanything if he asks you for some
peace of mind.
Why are we fighting that if youask me as a woman, you see here

(01:06:43):
you take care of me out, youand we're always happy and we
always get along together andthen you say for a ring, and I'm
like man, I don't know aboutthat Like well, yeah, I wouldn't
expect you to want security.

T (01:06:54):
Like yeah, we're together.

Mac Da Don (01:06:57):
I would expect you to say like a ring or no,
because that's a logisticalissue that I understand.
A lot of niggas don't get itbecause they don't.
They don't want to see theother side of that.
A lot of women don't get whymen want DNA tests because they
don't see the other side.
I think that's it right there.
I say we need as a collectiveto work on understanding why

(01:07:19):
that's a case.
You wouldn't want to see why youwant to get married because
you're like man, like she won'ttake me for half.
Such a shit.

T (01:07:25):
Yeah, you avoid that by getting a prenup.

Mac Da Don (01:07:27):
Yeah, you avoid that by having the conversation of
like all right, if we getmarried, I for my sanity To to
go through with that.
I would want a prenup because Iwant to ensure that, like we,
we do all this division of shitBefore we hate each other.
And then I'm cool with doingthe marriage thing.
And then do you get your ring,you get everything, like that.
You would know what front I getthe dog.

T (01:07:48):
Yeah, he knows.

Mac Da Don (01:07:55):
To go through with the wedding like if y'all really
want To be married, likecompromise.
It starts gay goddamn one Likeworking with saying I might not
want that, but if it's going toprovide this person who I love A
piece of mind, then I can learnto sacrifice what I might not
be fully comfortable with Toensure that they're fully

(01:08:19):
comfortable.

T (01:08:19):
Yeah, I think that's all in those hard conversations and you
see how the woman's gonnaimmediately get emotional right.
Yes but that's not where theconversation is supposed to end,
right?
That's the beginning of theconversation and we have to be
mindful when you're having thosehard conversations, the
emotions gonna come out.

M (01:08:38):
It's just yeah, it's just going to happen and, like I said
in a previous podcast, y'all dosome of the freakiest shit
Known to men.
If somebody knew the freakishthat y'all did, you hang your
head in shame but you had can'thave a conversation about.
Can I have a DNA test?
It's the poo that's my kid, oryou want it hits pre enough.

(01:09:01):
Look at it.
Have your people.
Don't use mine, use yours.
Make sure and we come to agreat compromise and move.
This is done deal we put thatshit away and we go ahead and
live our lives and do what youneed to do.

Mac Da Don (01:09:12):
Because we eat ass when we're on the talk about.

T (01:09:26):
All the way done.

Mac Da Don (01:09:29):
I can't ask him for no DNA test because you know
she's gonna get mad.
I can't ask him.

M (01:09:37):
Come on, gave a judge advice on a who-how and then you
talking about I can hear thatkind comes.
That's, that's too intimate.

T (01:09:43):
No, grow Emotions that come from that conversation.

M (01:09:49):
But you have to you have to.
We are our adults.
We're not fucking kids on theplayground.
We're adults doing adult shitand you play adult games.
You got played by adult rules.
My fucking didn't you figureout?
You I fucked up.
You work it out.
Well, you don't work it out,but at least it's kind of
conversations.
Let's lay it on the fuckingtable.
Yeah and and at that point youcan grow from there and there's

(01:10:12):
nothing else that can happen toyou guys.

T (01:10:14):
That's the key.
Right, there is the growth thatcomes after these hard,
challenging conversations, right, and yes, I'm beyond this.
You don't disappoint it, ohgirl.
Yeah, she thought the child wasin the bubble, right?
Yeah, you gotta be okay withthe idea that she feels
disappointed, guess what.
He might feel disappointed toothat you reacted so poorly.

M (01:10:37):
Exactly, I mean it would talk .
And, more important than all ofthat, the most important person
in this entire conversation isthe baby we talked about that.
Fuck your feelings, fuck hisfeelings.
The baby, because that's theend result of any decisions that
you guys make.
Nobody, no kid, wants to go upand be 18 years or real, as the

(01:10:58):
guy that he called daddy, hisdaddy.

Mac Da Don (01:11:01):
Or your kid gets sick and then you go to get that
, that unnecessary DNA testbecause some shit, Some shit
goes sideways.

T (01:11:09):
You know we can't use.

Mac Da Don (01:11:13):
We can't use.
We can't use your mother'skidney, yeah.

M (01:11:18):
I mean your daddy.

Mac Da Don (01:11:19):
So Now you have to have a conversation.
You gotta go ask for the thefucking birth certificate to go
to the private college.
Oh, now you finally signed upon that bitch right.
What's that?
A dark will come to light,regardless of whether or not you
wanted to or not.
So if you're honest up front,you're gonna see yourself a lot
ahead.
If you know, and to me as a ladyif you know for a fact, that's

(01:11:41):
the only man I ever had sex withI to me as a guy, I'm thinking.
Logically speaking, you shouldbe okay.

T (01:12:05):
The nerve affair, yeah, but.
But that's the differentlogical Plains that were on.
The only thing about that isthat's not going to be the only
place and Lifetime that we're on.
Those different planes Can'tovercome it with something as
basic as, at the end of the day,are you gonna go get the test

(01:12:26):
or not?
It's not hurting you, it's notdoing anything and it's giving
me the peace of mind that I'mlooking for.

M (01:12:35):
And now I'm will do anything, everything, because at that
point that's my baby, we're unit, we're gonna move forward.
Yeah, because again we're gonnahave a lot, like I said, a lot
of other shit down the road thatwe had to deal with Healthwise.
Other shit is gonna pop up, alltypes of stuff all kinds of
shit.

T (01:12:52):
Yeah, we are not going to see it through the same Perspective
, and where I'm a disappoint you, you're gonna disappoint me.
But we have to figure out howto get it back, how much time I
need to kind of get over that,to where we can kind of Reface
the conversation again, right?

M (01:13:14):
You let it be.
Don't keep bringing this.
Other things, don't keepbringing shit.
When you had a conversation,don't keep going back.
Remember ten years ago you saidthat little boo wasn't your
bitch.

Mac Da Don (01:13:28):
We sell that shit because I had a question about
paternity when you was.

M (01:13:40):
Know a guy feel like what the fuck this shit?
The book is never closed.
That means you always go backand dip back.
Remember then?
But well, if that's the case,didn't go back, dip back here on
you, you wouldn't like that.
No, no, absolutely.

T (01:14:15):
Then you try to pretend like you don't know what's happening.

M (01:14:18):
Because again after question, we saw the problem.
I'm good as a guy, I knowthat's my kid, so we're divorced
.
I normally come on my pocketspaying that child support,
that's my kid.
But can you imagine you get adivorce and you real say isn't
your kid?
And now you're like, oh my god,I'm put this kid in school.
Hey, what's your face, was itSorry?

Mac Da Don (01:14:42):
The.
The same thing that makes menQuote-unquote valuable on the
dating market is the same thingthat they lose when that's
something like that happens.
So, financially, be the abilityto provide.
I'm a spit X, somebody isproviding for also the entity
that's not mine I'm in and Ican't sue you to get that money

(01:15:06):
back.

T (01:15:06):
No, because you've been took on that responsibility.

Mac Da Don (01:15:09):
Let me do you one better.

T (01:15:10):
You know what's worse than seeing a man Um paying to a kid
that's not his Grandmotherwatching her son do it.
Yeah, yeah, you're not alwaysgonna sit in the same seat, so
while right now, in thislifetime, you over there saying
sorry, oops, gotcha, oops,gotcha, until you the

(01:15:31):
grandmother, that's your son whodone, got, got, that's cute and
it hurts.

M (01:15:37):
True, that is, that's karma.
It is best cuz commas a bitch.
And when she comes back, she'sgonna come back with vengeance.
So, you right, don't think that, oh, it can't happen, it will.
It just come back in adifferent way.

T (01:15:50):
It just don't come back in a different way.
We cannot just be like on ananti-male kick and not want to
look out for and, you know, havefair life's Privileges for men
just because we're women.
Yeah, we, we bear both of them.
Yes, yes, you do.
Yes, we might not grow up to bemen but we definitely have, you

(01:16:14):
know, ties to, you know, ourman children, like they're
always gonna be our kids.
And then you have to sit there,you realize, have to sit there
and watch somebody break this.

M (01:16:23):
Oh, god damn.
And all you think is oh, Iremember when I back.
Oh yeah, and again people gotunderstanding that that's what

(01:16:47):
life is all about.
Life, life is a circle ifwhatever goes around comes
around, and that's why you gottabe very careful what you put
out there and you just gotta beright.
You gotta be, just just beright.
Do the right thing.
It may, it may hurt you, butjust do the right thing.

T (01:17:03):
Get your shit in order.
Yes, get it in order and keepit in order.
Have those super hardconversations that you're so
running away from having Becauseyou're gonna hurt somebody's
feeling, because the only reasonwhy you can't have a
conversation with someone Isbecause you don't like the

(01:17:25):
reaction that you're gonna get.
That woman gonna bust outcrying and your face and then
you're gonna have to deal withher tears and her snot and all
of her guilt.
Hmm, after we're done with that, we still gotta figure out the
task at hand.
I got the tissue for one thisyear done.
We still got figure this hereright out.

(01:17:47):
I need you to sign still.
I need for you to get thesample.
Still like, yeah, it's not, it'snot gonna be easy.
Like, ladies, you want you likethat guy, like that guy, he,
you know he don't have regularjobs, he has gigs.
You have a lot to come to thetable with.
Yeah, your father didn't, youknow, gave you a house when he

(01:18:09):
passed, and here it to the lotof money.
You got nice retirement set up.
You're worth a lot.
You gotta have the hardconversation with the man to say
sir, I like you, I love you, Ilove you, love you Amazing in
bed.
I'm trying to keep that forever, however.
However, I'm gonna need for youto sign the prenup, because

(01:18:32):
it's a lot of stake here, and Iflove is what love is really
gonna be, then Death will be theonly thing to do us apart and
these forms will be null andvoid.

Mac Da Don (01:18:44):
But if you're supposed to be together.
Yeah, this is just fuckingpaper Voice case scenario we get
the voice.
This happened.
Yeah, we love each other.
That's what this paper doesn'tcomes.
We die needs for that to bemade.
Just it pretty much.
You know it also happens, guys.
The longer you're together, whenyou're a cure with, you acquire

(01:19:08):
more shit.
Just go get it fixed.
Go sit back down rewriting as acouple.
Yeah, so you know what.
We've been at it five years now.
My business took off.
Her shit took off.
She's suddenly got famous on ontiktok.
Yeah, no, things occur.

(01:19:32):
Go back to the table.
Sorry, you know what.
It's been a couple years.
We're gonna add some more shitto our plate when we have before
.
Let's go make sure that we allgood.
Yeah, sure that.
Like okay, you started thatbusiness.
I'm not taking If I wasn'tthere helping you get that shit.
Now I'm trying to get my, mypercentage, because that's what

(01:19:53):
we still like each other.
The voice is gonna be thenastiest version of your
relationship.
That's when everything fallsapart.
That's when y'all fed up witheach other.
Yeah, what you do then is loveis just the other side of hate.
So now that we are divorcedunless we divorce ever complete
I hate you now.

T (01:20:16):
At some point.
Yeah right, and whether you didthat on purpose or not, on
purpose, right, intentionallyRight, like you didn't mean to
sleep with the woman in your bedat home and get caught.
You didn't want your wife tohave seen that no but it

(01:20:36):
happened.
The bitch is scoring yeah.

M (01:20:43):
Now you gotta pay the price.

T (01:20:50):
Yeah, in the long run that's true.
Um, so you?
We have to protect ourselvesFrom forcing ourselves to become
the worst versions of ourselves.

M (01:21:02):
Yeah, that's never good, that's never, and we should be
mature enough to say this how isthis adults, when our kids,
we're doing adult shit?
Let's do the adult shit theadult way.
Yeah, now I get my littleemotion.
A little feelings are involved.
No, fuck that.
You did that when you had theopportunity.
When you temptation to not dowhat you did what you did.

(01:21:22):
Mm-hmm, hope you didn't getcaught, but you did so.
Now you got deal with therepercussions and ramifications
from that decision.

T (01:21:28):
So you know that's life, that's life.

M (01:21:32):
Damn guys, perfect, and people, as you heard, tea.
That's life.
So, again, don't look at it.
As you know, we're contentiousor anything.
It's business.
You know, just like you do itLike we talked about marriage
and In wills and in all theother things.
All this is part of life.
These are things you have to doas an adult.

(01:21:53):
You have to, not you want to.
You have to because you're todeal with the aftermath, you
know so, as my girl T says, it'slike grow up, do better With
that.
People Listen, people you don'tdo Like subscribe to channel,

(01:22:15):
get some of this merch and youknow what.
Until then, please do your life,do the little things that we
talked about.
You know.
Make sure you you don't getcaught off guard Because death
happens suddenly.
Nobody wants to see.
You know we're gonna dietomorrow, so you get your shit
straight, get you no.

(01:22:35):
So don't wait.
Today should happen.
You want to worry about you.
Leave everybody else behind alittle bit.
That shit, not that phone,that's not the name, that name
the word.
So you know.
Just so, until next time, peaceand blessings, stay safe out
there, oh.

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