November 16, 2023 • 58 mins
Ever wondered how to navigate the intricacies of morality in your everyday life, and why it's essential to instill such values at home? Curious about the power of words and the often underestimated impact they can have on our relationships? Get ready for a deep exploration into these topics and more. We'll be scrutinizing moral compasses, respect for all regardless of their professional roles, and the common misbelief that morality is tethered to religious practices. Men, get ready to take notes and learn how to be better supporters of children in every conceivable way.
Words hold immense power. They can build bridges or burn them. In this enlightening discussion, we will dissect the influence of words in relationships and how, without mindfulness, they may cause long-term harm that apologies may not soothe. We'll also uncover the strength of delivering impactful messages without resorting to swearing. Furthermore, we expand on the balance of compromise within moral boundaries, bringing into focus a case of a woman supporting her partner despite his neglectful actions towards his child.
Expect a profound examination of unsettling societal issues, such as young girls' attraction to older men and the manipulative maneuvers that may ensue. We also spotlight the pivotal role of leadership, the courage required to go against the crowd, and the importance of nurturing relationships for personal growth. As we wind down, we emphasize the role of a moral compass in navigating life's challenges, shedding light on the necessity of instilling values in our children, and maintaining these principles ourselves. This conversation promises to be thought-provoking, offering valuable insights into morality's impact on various aspects of our lives. Prepare to be enlightened.
Go to http://www.overcometoobecome.com to see all of the Video Podcasts and the other podcasts under the "Overcome 2 Become" YouTube Channel
Follow M at @overcometoobecome and T at @tress_city on Instagram
Email us at overcometoobecome@gmail.com for thoughts, comments and show suggestions. Come join the discussion
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M (00:05):
Welcome back to on the mic with the M and T Listen y'all.
Last week we had we had a hotdiscussion and it's up and
running.
Listen to your comments.
We want to hear all of thembecause we were off the wall and
hot last week with thatconversation about Jada, which
hopefully we want to talk abouther again.
T (00:24):
I was just cool as a cucumber .
M (00:27):
Yes, she was.
Yes, she was very, very cool.
The producer was a little hot,so today's is us.
The producer had to takeanother week to calm down a
little bit, so but we're going.
This week is going to beprobably not as heat intensive,
not as hot, but it's going todeal with a thing called
morality.
(00:48):
A little word, big meeting, andI want to solve by saying you
should not need a Quran, a Bible, torah or any other book to
live a moral life.
Not preaching to anybody, now,you won't go there.
But when people say, well, youknow what, I couldn't tell right
(01:11):
from wrong.
One thing led to another,that's some bullshit.
You know you want to goddamnget to where you got to get to
now.
You got to fess up to what youdid.
So the day we go talk aboutmorality and how to really have
it and not go church, you can gochurch.
We suggest you do every yourspiritual life calls you to do,
but stop blaming on one thinghappened to another and get some
(01:33):
morality back in your life.
What do you think?
T.
T (01:35):
I mean, I think, first of all you, we got to start up with
instilling morality in ourhousehold, because what we see
is today like that lack thereof,the was it instilled in that
generation before, like stoppingaccess questions, because
morality is something that istaught, like the things that we
(01:58):
do and don't do in this house.
Right, we don't treat peoplelike that.
Right, your mother would tellyou when you go out and you, you
know, walk past a janitor andyou smile and you speak to
people.
You know we don't just ignorepeople.
You know, and it doesn't matterwhat type of job they have.
That's part of you.
You know your moral upbringing,that moral guidance, right, and
(02:20):
it's really something that youhave to instilling your children
.
And so if you're around yourchildren and you're kind of
always on joke time, I mean it'sokay to kind of laughingly
treat people like crap or it's afeud with the.
You know family, siblings,child's father, and it's right.
(02:40):
And you know some the child'sface.
That's the moral, that's howthey're being brought out,
that's that moral.
You know confidence andguidance being instilled in them
and it's a little all over theplace, because now you're being
taught and guided how to talk topeople, right?
So if you're daughter, right,your adult child, and you're
(03:00):
disrespectful towards your momor your tone is just excessively
loud or just out of the normal,right, what type of morals are
you given to your, to your child, right?
Are they learning to respecttheir children, their elders?
So what happens when theybecome children, adults?
Do they then, in turn, respecttheir elders?
(03:22):
If you're a woman and you haveit falling out with you, know,
your significant other, yourchild's father, right, and your
child falling out, what happened?
The child is watching it all,right?
Are you teaching your childgrace?
Are you teaching your child tomaintain respect Even when
someone's not respecting you?
(03:43):
What are we teaching ourchildren, nieces and nephews,
because everybody's a spongearound us just soaking it up,
even our girlfriends, right?
Our girlfriends are smashingback off our energy at homeboys,
right Over, acting a plum foolwith just significant other.
How you think my girlfriendgoing to act if all I act as a
(04:03):
plum fool?
She don't feel like she got tomatch my energy.
As opposed to redirect in thesituation, like na says, that's
not how we talk to men out here.
Don't disrespect that man likethat who's going to redirect and
teach and then still and showus, you know, exactly what needs
to be done.
And, morally, how to move hasto be asked how we teach our
children how we move ourselves.
(04:25):
The men cannot sit in a circleand listen to other men how
they're moving and, morally, howthey're treating their women or
their children.
You know, and morallycomplaining about how to support
and when to support theirchildren and we're all going to
listen to it.
Somebody there has to say flagon the place, or flag.
(04:47):
No you only see your kid everyother weekend.
That's not a lot, it's a start.
It's a start, but it's not alot.
That's true, that's seven daysin the week and you might not
see your kid that week, any ofthose seven days.
It's actually not a lot.
You could do more and it'simmoral of you just to be
(05:08):
sitting there being some my yesperson.
Oh, you're wrong.
No, no, no.
You talking disrespectful toeach other.
That's not morally sound.
That is out of order.
M (05:25):
That is so true, t.
You are actually speaking theabsolute truth because I know
growing up that I'll be honest.
I'm looking at y'all right nowgrowing up, I don't go to God
damn church and I know most ofy'all looking at me today say,
yeah, when I was growing up Ireally want to go church.
I was forced to go church if mygrandma or my mama or whoever
(05:46):
I'm a go.
But the one thing you learn wasa sense of morality, even after
you left church and you decideyou know you got, became grown
and start your own life.
You may say I may not go churchevery so many times, you know
you're not used to, but youstill had a sense of morality
that was that was instilled inyou by going to church or going
wherever you went and womenmoves, or the men who went right
(06:09):
.
Absolutely.
T (06:14):
That was.
M (06:15):
That was the key.
Because they expected you, theytaught you, because expected
you to roll like they roll whenyou got older.
T (06:23):
As a kid.
M (06:23):
you will understand because you're a kid.
Yeah, okay, I listen to theseBible verses or whatever they
teach me.
But you knew you remember thoseBible verses when you got out
there.
You know certain things thatwere still in you that you just
would not do.
Yeah, I'm not even going to tryto do that because I know,
because you go back to all of usin the church and remember to
tell me I shouldn't do that, soyou do know that's a lot of
(06:45):
foundry that's created.
T (06:47):
That's that moral compass, that's that's trying to guide
you because you already built.
That foundation is set right,absolutely.
M (06:56):
Yes, somebody has said it and you knew from that point on,
you're going to get it.
You're and you're going to goand duct church.
You may, your parents may nothave gone to church, but, god
damn it, some of us in your assto church.
Go.
Your grandmother or yourgrandma's going to come, pick
your ass up and take the church.
Somebody, a sister or auntie orsomeone's going to grab you and
take you so you could say, well, when we were growing up, well,
(07:17):
I never went to church, or Idon't know what you're talking
about.
Yes, you do, because you wentthere.
Now, if you chose not to followthe path, that's your choice,
but you were taught.
The problem is like you stayedtoday is these babies are today,
are getting the same forceful Iwant to say forceful they're
not getting the same training aswe did.
You may not, like I said, wewant anyone go every Sunday, but
(07:42):
damn, I was going every Sunday.
But these babies, they get theopportunity to even go up every
Sunday.
They may not even go ever.
They may, they may, they mayhave went there when they got
Christian and that was it.
Damn, as babies, as babies, andthat was about the last time
they went there or you know, youget the ones that may have gone
.
You know, easter, mother's Day,christmas, we call that those
(08:04):
three and very important times.
You only show up in church.
Everybody get.
You say, oh you bet, but youbet.
T (08:11):
Yes, you see, everybody have seen the lessons, so even if
that's where you started, showup.
M (08:17):
Just show up to show up, and if you don't show up and you're
not giving your baby anyleadership or any guidance
because, again, what I hear alot of people say is you know
I'm busy, the ones that don't golike I'm busy, I got work.
I, you know I can get to workin the morning, I got this long
shift, I got all this going onfinding dandy.
But you can at least put your.
(08:38):
Give your kids somebody.
If you can do it, give it tosomeone so they go out there and
find that foundation.
T (08:45):
Now, when you give your kids to someone to instill certain
stuff in them, be mindful, theywill be reflective of other
people as opposed to you.
No, you say that again.
Yeah, they're going to bereflective of those other people
as opposed to you.
Meaning, when you give yourchildren to your parents and you
rely on them only to instillthe things that they believe in
(09:09):
your children, you're going tosee your child move in a way,
and you're going to hear yourmom as opposed to hearing
yourself.
Oh, you have to be careful whoyou give your child to to
instill, and sometimes you'renot even giving your child to
these people.
Sometimes you left your kidjust empty, and so who's ever
(09:32):
pouring that?
They have nothing, and so nowthat's what they had.
Yeah, you know, it's true, ifyour kid has nothing, somebody
gonna fill up, they nothing withthe something.
And then what?
Talking like the celebritiestalk, or moving like how the
guys outside move, as opposed tomoving like how you told them
(09:53):
to move and talk them to move,and talking like how you taught
them to talk, oh, my daughter isnot going to be just like
dancing and moving any othertype of way that she's seen on
TV and on tiktok.
No, we're not here right?
I'm gonna do a little just likethat.
Now.
Let me calm those hips downseven year old, because we're
(10:14):
not moving like that at this ageand you might know all those
moves and dances, but you alsoknow discretion.
Hello, you move differently indifferent rooms and spaces of
people.
The more guidance is going toremind you of that.
It's not just the way you dance, the way you talk, the way you
move.
Depending on who's in that roomyou will move different.
(10:38):
Your volume will go up or down.
The room fully appears.
You can be just as loud.
Make all the loud out verse youwant room full of elderly
people watching rock tone.
Be super respectful to yourmama and I mean super respectful
and I mean like impressed.
Do the stuff that we don't evennormally do.
Yeah.
M (11:00):
That's true mind your manners .
You tell you what to do.
A bond you got there, man, youknow what you, how to act.
That means you better act thefood.
Yes come back and you go inthere knowing that I'm not gonna
disappoint them, because I knowif I do go out here and act,
I'm outside myself.
They're gonna hear and they'regonna feel Disappointed in you
because to them is like Ihaven't raised you and trained
(11:22):
you enough well enough to go outhere and not act a goddamn fool
my house or some by else'sbuilding or any function.
You should be able to actAccordingly because I thought,
that, yeah, if you're out there,somebody else forced you to act
accordingly.
Here's what I always heard.
So if that person jumps off abridge, you jump off a bridge
(11:44):
too.
T (11:45):
Nah, wouldn't so either you're gonna give you, you're
gonna teach, the moral compassand guidance you're gonna teach
the morals to your child andGive them consequences if they
do not, you know, actaccordingly, or you gonna let it
grow up and and life is givethem the consequences because
(12:06):
they didn't have the proper set,you know, moral compass to
guide their Choices in life andthey're gonna choose poorly and
the consequences that life gives, you know, sometimes you're
gonna pay a long time for thosethings.
M (12:19):
Absolutely, and we're seeing it now.
We're seeing now what happenswhen you don't properly raise
your kids with morals andstandards.
T (12:28):
You become adults who you know no, relationships are easy
and you know, go without thought, but you know it comes down to
the breakdown of therelationships, right, and how we
do just blatantly disrespectpeople out, like so loud, so
outward right, people's moralcompass, when family
(12:51):
relationships kind of go in alittle bit of a kaboom right, so
to speak, like a blow-uphappens, right.
You know family, like we can'tput our business on Facebook
right, we can't go to the gramwith you know our family's
business, because to us that'sjust not a choice that we would
(13:12):
make.
It's not morally with ourcompass is telling us to do
right.
We know that.
No, our business is not forpublic.
You know consumption and it'sjust not what we're gonna do.
Same thing when you you knowyou haven't fallen out with the
family member.
How much of a disrespect areyou be willing to give?
(13:32):
You know the people that yousupposed to be loving and our
blood tied to not much like herand point you like Let me walk
away because this is family,right, and so you get hurt and
level of respect because youknow your parents taught you
that and they instilled that,but somehow, when it comes to
you know the make that you choseand that goes awry.
(13:53):
You know some people are ableto enter into this space and
place of disrespect that's soextreme and taken so far, and
out of the damn ballpark You'relike where's your moral compass
at?
Exactly gets to be thatdisrespectful With the person
who you just left six damnmonths ago.
(14:13):
What are you doing Right?
And then the crazy part yougonna come back around trying to
love one later on.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, come on, come on Moral,speaking right there.
M (14:29):
You're absolutely right.
And the thing is, people, I'mgonna look at it, I'm gonna look
at you again.
Understand this be very careful.
You say to people when youangry, because they will never
I'm here, I'm just racing say itagainst you.
Really clear on what I'm sayingBe very careful.
What you say to anybody inanger they will never, ever,
(14:50):
ever forget it.
They may forgive you, but theywill never forget it and it will
always be in the back of theirmind and some file cabinet.
They'll always had that littletension when you said this to me
because you said it.
So that's, be careful with yourwords, because words is power
and that will always take howyou guys, relationships will be
(15:10):
moving forward.
I had to say that because a lotof people said words don't hurt,
it does Mm-hmm words for a lotof people and people never
forget it and and you have to bejust to think about say, oh, is
it worth saying if you, ifyou're doing from our position
of hurt, mm-hmm, never doanything from position of hurt,
hurt, hurt people, hurt people.
Yeah, so it's don't need to dothat, because you're gonna go
(15:31):
down a road that's gonna lead tonowhere.
It's not gonna lead to a nicerainbow in the sky.
A little pot of gold was goinginto a pot of shit.
T (15:41):
I mean think about how the woman can can talk and and just
like that that may rub you thewrong way, right?
Yes a woman can use her tongueand not near one Cuss word
falling out of her mouth.
I mean, rip that man apart andeverything you say is the truth,
(16:04):
but she didn't have to say itlike that.
I'll be.
If you're on the sidelines,you've been done.
Wanted to cross to some ofthese men to stuff that the
women can say.
I mean just just a sword for atongue, right?
Yes, hey, you think thatbecause you apologize for how
(16:25):
you spoke to that man or whatyou said, that it's not going to
like affect how he moves fromhere on out, right, asculate the
man who was your child's father, but then you want to go and
clean up the relationship withhim.
Like me, that's a lot ofcleaning there, doesn't a lot?
(16:47):
I mean you it's a lot easier tonot shit in certain places
because, hmm, the lot of y'alldon't got the elbow grease for
it.
I don't, no, no.
M (17:01):
You're not ready for that.
No one is ready for that,because when you're a matulated
man, he never forgets it.
Yeah, I was in conversationswith uncles years ago and just
sit as a kid listening and yousaid, damn, oh, let's just say
that to him.
I'm still mad.
He's still mad cuz he's tellingthem Later.
T (17:29):
They do not forget.
They can let it go, they canmove on.
Y'all can still have arelationship, but they're going
to categorize the informationand then they're gonna move
accordingly with that like, inother words, they're gonna
protect themselves from you.
Perhaps they won't be asvulnerable with you as they move
forward, perhaps they won't,you know, let you in on how
(17:49):
they're really feeling or whatthey're really doing, like,
because I don't ever want to getinto a place of space where you
can use such informationAgainst me or to chop me down
and make me feel and and thecounterpart could have
definitely done the same thingtoo right?
Yes that doesn't mean that word.
You're not going to moveaccordingly after, like it
(18:12):
doesn't matter who's coming forwho, the stuff that you hear
people say when they're mad,those low blows, those damn
kidney shots, yeah, mentor,don't give a damn.
If she did say sorry, she meantit right and and.
And she might not have meant itright, she might have just been
(18:36):
mad, but the fact that shethought it it does something
different to our mental spaces.
And so for us to just speak sofreely, like I don't bite my
tongue for nobody, you know, I'mreal, I keep real.
Yeah, that's, it's a foolish,foolish behavior.
And you're out hurting peopleand the idea that you hurting
(18:58):
people, you know like with the,without the intent of hurting
people, or just like not evenKaren.
M (19:04):
Foolish, foolish, holy holy and and you're not a virtuous
woman, I'd say that much no, no,no and Seeing it, you know,
seeing when you're younger andseeing as you get in your
relationships and you startlooking at how you interact with
people.
I mean, this time in your hands, a man, the certain that you
(19:25):
want to say that, you know,would just, it's like a surgeon.
You just need a yeah cutter andyour ashes.
You have to ask yourself Isthat that's when you step back
and you say what's the endresult?
What's my end game?
Yeah, I want to hurt her or do Iwant to destroy this
relationship?
Hurting her could do that anddestroy the relationship,
(19:48):
because women don't forgeteither, just like yeah, yeah, no
.
T (19:53):
but you could be asking yourself, though am I throwing a
stone in my bed, or am I notthrowing a stone in my bed?
Because sometimes you couldjust count it up to a stone,
like if I move like this right,is that gonna be harder to land,
or is it gonna be easier to lay?
Is this a feather or a rockRight?
Like which one is it Rocks inyour relationships?
(20:15):
Hmm?
M (20:18):
Yeah, why?
T (20:21):
If you don't want to live hard, no, yeah, do that by
yourself.
No, nobody want to live hardwith nobody, especially like not
a mental hard right?
I think we just be in the otherup mentally like it's too much
Monday that's missing or need tobe got out here for us to be
out here like fighting eachother when we supposed to be in
it together.
Go find you somebody who wantsto do it with you or somebody
(20:43):
who you want to do it with.
M (20:46):
Hello, hello, because if you would, somebody that you got to
live that way with you should bein a relationship and
something's really wrong withyou.
I don't know anybody that wasliving a bad that type of
relationship.
T (20:58):
And you shouldn't be living with somebody who takes you out
of your moral, like hookup, likewhat they can snatch you so far
out of yourself that thateverything your grandma taught
you, like everything your mamataught you, your daddy taught
you, it just goes out of thewindow.
Oh, you're in a bad situation.
(21:20):
Either you've lettingself-control go or you gotta let
that person go.
That, too, it just makes nosense if you're not within
yourself, and you can't staywithin yourself even when you're
angry.
M (21:36):
I don't know that's gonna work out Sometimes.
I'll tell you it doesn't.
You're just there At some point.
You're almost kind of sayingyou know I can do better, but do
I want to go out there and findsomeone?
Yes, you don't want to wasteyour goddamn time with somebody
that you know you're not goingto marry them.
If you're not married, you justdate them, and you know you had
this kind of relationship.
(21:56):
It doesn't get better, it getsworse.
T (21:59):
Or you just not to say like you've developed an obsession
with this person, but you'rejust kind of, because that
sounds so harsh.
But literally sometimes webecome a little bit like
obsessed with the person right,like you know that guy's not
going to marry you, you knowwhen he gets around your family
like he's not even trying toreally be a family-oriented guy,
and then when he leaves you youtry to run him over with your
(22:19):
car.
What?
Like if you don't have Ben movedon, like he Ben told you.
Remember that Instagram videowhere the woman that ran that
man over with her car?
Like, remember the other onewhere the girl tried to set that
man car on fire and then itexploded in her face and knocked
her off her damn sock?
(22:40):
These women are obsessed.
We always talk about and like,when you think of obsession and
a relationship, a lot of us goto like the male, right, because
they're talking to stalkers andyou've seen it on Lifetime.
You know your whole childhood.
But, like, think about thewomen who are real-life obsessed
with the men, who know thatthese men are not going to marry
(23:01):
them, these men do not treatthem well and they still going
to go knock on you know the nextwoman door talking about where
my man at you sleeping with myman, I'm going to go hit him
with the car or I'm going to.
You know, go call cheaters.
What are you calling cheatersfor?
He's not your man Like you,just letting them play with you.
You got to let go because theseare obsessions and this is
(23:24):
taking you out of your morals,right?
M (23:26):
Yes.
T (23:27):
No better than to sit here and be obsessed over someone who
, first of all, is not eventreating you well, right, hello,
you're right.
Well, you just trying to holdon to them for hold on sake, not
even for the sake of sayingthat you have someone, but just
(23:47):
for the sake of not letting themgo.
It's not even making senseanymore.
Yeah, so your morals are beingcompromised in a relationship,
or or you're.
You know, you're spirituallyguided and now you know the walk
that your mate wants you towalk.
It goes totally against.
(24:08):
You know every, every bit ofyour upbringing.
M (24:12):
Mm.
Hmm, yes, you got to walk away.
You got to that show for my man.
T (24:20):
I was going to talk about a woman who perhaps is like
stealing stuff with her man, butshe went straight to killing
and that was extreme.
But let's go to for my man.
What's that Date line?
Or something ridiculous.
M (24:33):
For my man comes on BT, I think, and it's a show.
T (24:38):
And.
M (24:38):
I swear, I thought it was like a one season show.
Okay, so one season with awoman would do shit for a man.
Oh, you know, they havemultiple seasons where multiple
women from different backgroundsSome are, you know, come from
the street, some come from verytwo parents, household, middle
class and they will find themfrom that initial stage of, oh,
look at them, they just want tofind love and they found this
(25:00):
guy and this guy and them gettogether and by the end of the
show she doesn't kill threepeople to burn the three, she
doesn't do all kinds of crazyshit for this guy.
And now she's in jail foreverand he's in jail forever.
T (25:13):
But it was for my man.
M (25:15):
For my man and the other body .
I'll do anything for me becausehe showed me love I never.
That was the one commondenominator.
Probably 85% of them will sayhe loved me, he showed, he was
the only one in my life thatshowed me love.
And I said, since you show methat much love, I gotta be
dedicated to him, dedicated to apoint where you messed your
whole goddamn life up.
That's what this dude should.
(25:36):
Where was your, where was yourmoral compass?
T (25:40):
That moral compass, love, doesn't challenge it Right.
It helps to direct it to a pathwhere you gain more freedom.
Like that is, that is guidingyou to freedom.
M (25:54):
technically speaking, like to live, you know, just a sound
life and T if a guy says can youjust go commit a crime, can you
go out there and strip for me,sell your body for me, plus, and
let's go ahead and, just youknow, dismember this body and
(26:14):
put it in a freezer.
Because that's my oldgirlfriend is trying to get
child support from me.
And you and your mind said well, that's my man, he wants me to
do it.
I think I should help him.
Something has horriblyhappening.
There's a crack in your damnmoral compass.
It's broken, it shattered thatpoint.
And if you make these decisionsto go there and then the end in
(26:36):
front of the judge andeverybody was talking about you
know I didn't mean to do it, I'msorry to the family that that
the girl dismembered.
Don't hear that shit.
First you're gonna say why thehell did you even listen to some
crazy shit with this dude?
Then then kill this chick andyou're gonna help do what you do
to the body because of love.
That's crazy.
T (26:58):
Well, let's lay Malcolm, let's bring it back several
notches, because you know thatwas a little extreme.
Let's bring it back.
Let's bring it back to thewoman who shows up to child
support court where her man, whowas not paying child support or
showing up to visitations, whyare you supporting that man and
more?
That's immoral.
He's not accountable for hiskid and you and child support
court Some of what he needs topay for.
(27:18):
But what, what, what?
No, you should have been athome trying to get this man to
come up with a proper agreementwith this woman so that he could
properly support, you know, hiskid.
Like we'll show up and throwthat moral compass out of the
river.
You know, on so many differentlike every day, basic, still in
(27:41):
cars, you know you don'tnormally do.
You know just compromising yourbody like yes and it's not just
like selling your body,sometimes it's just like you
know, certain sex acts and sexShenan against that perhaps you
know, you don't, you didn't wantto be involved in, but you got
(28:03):
introduced into this lifestylebecause you was, you know, down
for some guy but it was against.
You know your morals.
No guy or no woman who's tryingto drag you in the opposite
direction of something that wasright and that was instilled in
you.
Like, it's okay to be boring,yes, relationship or out of
(28:27):
relationship, it's okay to be,you know, with with a lot of
people you know Want to callboring, you know, and that damn
board.
You better get up off your assand find a little Korean
barbecue to go kick it and talkto the random people that's in
there, because, like I, deadboring, I go out the that damn
(28:48):
board.
M (28:49):
Hell, no.
And again it goes back toSomebody didn't steal those
values in you, young forwhatever reason, but as a parent
.
T (29:02):
Being that peace with yourself to.
That's something else you gotto be remind mindful.
You know not that need foralways being busy and you know
it's Needing someone's attentionright Now.
You don't always have to be upin someone's face, you know,
subtle your mind with somethingas basic as reading or just, you
(29:23):
know, finding a hobby orsomething to do, especially for
the woman who kind of Enjoy somekind of gets off almost like a
drug on attention sometimesright, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, I don't really want totalk about that for the woman
side of things, but you knowthat that's something that as a
woman and and kind of cominginto age, that has to be taught
(29:46):
also right, like yeah, that shitis cute and you'll see, your,
your daughter, you know, agentstart getting attention from
here and from there, and howthey kind of respond to it.
You also have to read our rectum.
Keep them humble as far as thatis concerned, because for a
woman, then that that attentionis.
It's something that can reallybe, you know, enjoyable for a
(30:09):
woman and can be something thattakes you away From where you
really need to be at a, you knowT.
M (30:16):
That's very important because with young women growing so,
developing so quickly, now.
It's like you should be able tosay oh yeah, she's 13.
Oh yeah, she's 18.
Now You're like well, how areyou good girl, I'm 10, good lord
, what the hell.
So you now have to say somebodyto talk to her, because now
(30:38):
she's going to get unwantedattention Because she's gonna
look a certain way Boys beingvisual, men being visual and
she's gonna be in a light thatshe should not be it.
So somebody didn't still hurtsomething her waiting for 10,
but younger, that you need tocarry yourself a certain way.
(30:59):
You don't dress certain way,you don't try to act a certain
way, you don't want to get tooold because you're not ready for
the work.
And what's going to happen whenyou put yourself in that arena,
because you're not gonna that Igo.
So well, are you 10?
You go, look at you.
So she look 18 to me.
And now she's in a situationbecause she wants the attention,
like she wants the attention.
(31:20):
But if she's properly trained,if she's properly has the moral
Old background, she knows thathey, along the way you're gonna
get some attention.
And then she's gonna know oh,this is what they're talking
about.
So she's not flashed.
You know, I pressed by somebodysaying girl, you she'll look
good.
No, she likes.
Okay, keep moving, because shedoesn't need it because that's,
(31:40):
that's, that's, that'sabsolutely true.
T (31:45):
Those young, tender age really, when you notice People
of all ages will start to noticeyou, maybe not as as young as,
but, yeah, I can recall eveneven very young, young ages, you
know, this man kind of pay alittle more attention and linger
their eyes a little bit longerin your direction.
Mm-hmm, as a young girl cominginto age, if you are taught and
(32:12):
Constantly remind it, and that'show you, you know, something is
instilled in you, then you doknow how to move through those
situations and you do know whatthat attention gets you right,
told you, and then your auntiereinforce it, and then your
auntie, your other auntie, youknow, she just blatantly and
blurted it out, you know, cuzshe, she don't got no free right
(32:32):
the way.
As long as you get thoseteachings and those upbringings,
then you do understand and youare able to Move and navigate a
maneuver properly, right.
The Attention from you know, anadult man is that's, that's
totally different than attentionfrom my peer.
(32:53):
Those are the people whosupposed to be giving me that
attention because, if I add thesame, a man, 28 years old and
I'm 14, well, he done missed the27 year olds, the 26 year olds,
every damn group, down to the14 year old group.
So you telling me Nobody elsewas worth that man's time and
(33:15):
any of the age group of it.
Me, I'm the prize.
How the fuck could I possiblyBe the prize out of all of these
other damn group?
That's basically what my momkept telling and teaching and
instilling in me, like no, beeasy and be very careful,
because Cream of the crop forlike boo boo, you got it going
(33:39):
on and I'm into my own one.
Yes, I had it going on.
Your mom did that.
M (33:44):
Yeah.
T (33:46):
All that.
But you know, 14 and grown-assmen, no, there's something wrong
with them, it's everythingright with you.
And baby girl, you got it goingon.
And those young girls look likesomething, they're beautiful
and they are gorgeous.
And, just like I said, I had itgoing on, they got it going on.
Yeah, gorgeous and they arecoming into their age.
(34:09):
But baby girl, those men, notit, that's not it.
They have been tossed over byevery other group all the women,
the group you don't sayabsolutely your face because
nobody else wanted them.
Leave them right on the outsideand date within your peer group.
M (34:31):
Absolutely because you, because, again it's, it's a
factuation to you.
Oh, my god, he sees me but abeauty, I know.
T (34:41):
He got the time, he got the attention.
He don't go to school with me.
You know he's not petty, he'snot gonna run his mouth and tell
my business like all my otherpeer guys are.
I feel free with him.
Young girl shit.
You know it's young girl shit.
Yeah, oh, come on.
Yeah, oh, that's right.
So we, yeah, leave that outthere.
M (35:03):
That shit is wack all that shit's wack because they get
anybody that old talking to youand your Child yeah, you better
take advantage of the situation.
Yes, he will.
And how many people do we youngladies do we know in our
lifetime have been pregnant bysuch guy?
T (35:19):
and I'll take it to the other side of the spectrum.
You won't even have to go sofar as that man Just the very
idea that he's there andenjoying my conversation in my
time no, he ain't even worththat Much for me, just off of
that piece right there, cuz theyknow you're not even worth no
(35:39):
other woman's time on the phoneand energy in the park.
You're not worth minds either.
Oh, no I know by you that meanseverybody else in this building
is noticing me too, and theyjust too big of a coward to even
mention it.
So I'm gonna keep walking mylittle step.
You know, keep, keep your moralcompasses all the way grounded,
ladies, you know, keep walking.
(36:01):
Them might not be telling youthat they know the same you, but
they are, and you know keepingcute.
So what you do, stay grounded.
M (36:11):
Absolutely.
And as for guys, so this youngboys are now getting the same
attention.
Teachers.
I'm like I read a story with achick lady.
A grown woman was 35.
(36:31):
It had a baby by the boy was 13years old, had a baby by the.
T (36:36):
She started hiding pregnancy From a mind you and what, which
one, which cuz it's been so manystories like that with the
teachers.
Then them popped up pregnantlike what.
M (36:48):
What's going on?
That's not gonna work.
But the female teachers bang mydamn Teenage son.
That's bullshit, you know, ofcourse there'll be a lot of guys
, oh man, but if I had teacherlike that when I was a age, I
know, man, what you call it.
It's still right, it's stillthe same situation either way.
T (37:04):
You you paint the picture.
Yeah, 35 year old woman whowasn't wanted inside of no
circle amongst 35 year olds, 34year olds, 33 year olds and
every other age group down untilyour age group that brought not
either.
You will fix whatever you knowIs broken on you to wear.
You know you can't come into aComparable relationship with
(37:28):
another man.
So now you over here playing inlittle boys land Like One, any,
any boy who's that mature tohang out with the teacher.
You know he probably the creamof the crop in the classroom any
day away.
So you messing up the littlegirls situation.
Young man Women, young girlschecking for you in that
(37:48):
classroom.
Okay, they might not havementioned it right now, but they
have noticed.
You Like we're not even goingto pretend.
Like these women and these menwho are on they pedophile, your
kid pedophile.
You kick like that shit is notokay.
And the young who was enjoyingthat attention and that money,
that that should rock out,because it's not it.
M (38:09):
Definitely not it and just is ruin you.
You're doing your experience ofgrowing up, of enjoying that,
that transition from beingadolescents to young adulthood.
That's your time to grow withinyourself, to learn who you are,
define who you are not.
T (38:26):
From some per your group Learned all that dumb, goofy
shit within your peer group.
M (38:33):
So where's their fucking moral compass?
T (38:35):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So anybody who you link up with, who challenges your moral
compass, something's not rightwith them.
You need to walk away.
M (38:45):
Absolutely.
And that goes back to tobecoming a leader and not a
follower, because so many, whenyou set peer group, that goes
back to people don't want tofeel like an outsider, you don't
feel like the oddball out, theywant to feel like an outcast.
Well, strangely enough, leadersare all that.
You have to be a leader, to bean outcast, to be an outsider,
(39:06):
to be somebody that thatsomebody looks at differently.
Because you're the one thatsays I don't know, fuck, what
y'all doing.
Y'all could go and marching tothe sea.
I'm not gonna be that dumbmotherfucker cuz.
Why am I following y'all?
Yeah, so, because you'refeeling that way, young people,
that means you, you're on adifferent flow.
That means, hey, embrace thatleadership quality and you may
(39:29):
feel Outside, you may feel like,oh, you know what, I don't want
it.
But you rather be a leader thana follower, because you never
know where the followers of whothey're following.
As a leader, you always knowyou're going.
So that's how we have to instillon our kids too, because you
know kids come back.
Well, you know, I know I wantto play with me today because
I've I play something differentor I could play something
(39:49):
different.
There's another kid, that part,one place anything you want to
play but was too scared or, youknow, didn't Suffice that wasn't
self-assured of say, you know,I want to do it because they're
playing that, i'ma, I want toplay that, but if you play it
because, oh, there's another kidthat plays that, so you have to
walk in your truth.
As far kids say that because dothat because they're young,
(40:11):
they will be part of the.
T (40:14):
It's like being the first one in the group of friends who
gets married, right, mm-hmm,somebody who has their mouth
open.
Oh my goodness, I can't believeshe got married at this age.
You just signed up to do someman's laundry for the rest of
your life, baby.
Believe it or not, it's okayand it's not they.
Marriage is just because you're, you know point of view.
(40:35):
It's different or perhaps isnot as enlightened as mine.
You know Exactly.
That's okay, but I'm gonna moveaccordingly.
You cannot be afraid to moveagainst the grain, especially
when you're, when you know whereyour moral compass is guiding
you right.
Yes yes, hey, I'm done dating,I'm not living.
(40:56):
You know that the lifestylewhere you jump in and out of
relationships and have all thesepartners I would like to, you
know, be, do something a littlemore solid, like, no, I do want
a traditional life, so I do wantto be married, or Maybe it's
nothing, not as extreme.
You know, I do want a long-termrelationship, but mostly your
Peers are doing you know thesingle lifestyle or you know the
(41:18):
busy lifestyle and you knowthat's not for you.
You have to bow out and Watchhow, when you put your moral
compass right where it'ssupposed to be and you making
the right choices, watch howmany people start to follow you.
And then you'll go to the pointwhere you are not the first one
, not just the only one in thegroup who's married.
Now, everybody's married.
(41:38):
And you were the first group tobe married.
Right, absolutely, outside it.
Right, so you didn't get tohang out with all your friends
at first.
Right, yeah, so often figureout their own self.
Right, absolutely, because whatyou did was right.
Right, mm-hmm, you'll start tosee people to follow.
M (41:57):
That's true, t.
And the other thing is peoplehave to understand you have to
follow your path.
You know you can't look aroundat your friends who you know she
married and I ain't married orI want to be married.
No, no, no no, stop looking atwhat other people doing and look
at what's your path.
That's probably with Socialmedia.
(42:17):
Today, everybody wants to lookat everybody's life on social
media, which we all know 90% isa lie anyway.
So they were they doing so much.
I ain't doing shit.
You're part of that.
That one glass of champagne'sonly fucking depart.
Took that from a table and sitat a table, just took it and
then put it.
Put it back around round thedoor.
You don't know this.
Yeah, I'm learning your path.
Understand where you want to be,and that also goes back to
(42:39):
understanding who you are.
Again, if you ever, if you havea tight moral compass and you
know pretty much this is what Iwant to do, whatever it is Stay
the course because again, youcan't live your life being
living through your mom, yourdad or your friends.
You'll be, you'll wake up andyou'll be 50 years old and you
(42:59):
got shit going on, you stilldoing the same shit you did when
you was 20, and I don't thinkanybody wants to be For 50 years
old still doing the same shitthey was when there's 20, unless
it's a job that they nowprobably Should be high up in
the job, but when it comes tohow you run your life.
You should not be in that samespare, if it's, if that's good.
You've been rocking, you'rerocking the rocking chair.
(43:20):
You didn't move.
You think you move, but you'rejust going back and forth.
Yeah, so you gotta be, gottaknow who you are.
Hey, what you said before isabout being by yourself.
Being by yourself at some pointin your life is the greatest
thing will ever happen to you,because at that point you know I
have any extractors ofboyfriends, girlfriends, kids,
anything like that.
(43:40):
It's just you that now makesyou sit back and say, whoa, what
am I doing?
And it's not a matter justtrying to find someone, because
find somebody to me always seemlike it was just a way of
keeping busy.
As you said before, there's atime where you, if you feel like
your life ain't going where itshould be going, you probably
need to step back and say youknow what?
Let me just step back, let metake a little pit stop and
(44:04):
reevaluate what am I doing, andwhat am I doing is going to
where I ultimately want to go,and if not, I need to make some
changes.
Now I can't say, oh, yeah, downthe road, make some change.
No, down the road is today,because Decisions you make today
Influences down the road.
Because people always say, well, the future?
No, the future is actually now.
So, yeah, you make right nowhow your life will be five years
(44:29):
from now, ten years from now,next month, next year.
T (44:32):
So so you know, we always say it like in seeds, right, you
saw seeds of today, right Today.
What you gonna get tomorrow,are your seeds gonna sprout
later on?
Are you gonna?
Is it gonna be a fruit tree andthat tree what you gonna have?
Stones on your tree.
What type of seeds are youplanting for the right now,
(44:53):
because later on, when youlooking for a harvest or
something to drop down, you?
M (44:58):
have anything?
T (45:01):
Yes we're again and let your moral compass guide you as you
move about to make the rightchoice the plant the proper
seeds.
That moral compass is gonnaMake you mindful to go back and
water those seeds right, becausemorally you know that you have
to nurture things right and takeproper care, right.
I'm gonna say, oh no, take poorcare of the things that you get,
(45:24):
that you take pride in and takecare of right it's gonna say
proper care in those things, andso when you take proper care of
something, you plant the seeds.
Take proper care of something,you plant those proper seeds,
you're gonna get something outof it, especially something that
you actually wanted.
M (45:43):
Absolutely.
T (45:45):
It's gonna be higher.
M (45:47):
Everything T people on the stand is it's not gonna happen
overnight.
Over many podcasts, we've saidit many times it's not gonna be
a pill, it's not gonna be a shot.
I'll be several very quickMm-hmm.
Have the patience mm-hmm forthis thing to grow.
The trees are all grownovernight, so you can you plan
through the day.
Is that go tomorrow?
(46:08):
The, oh, the tree in here.
T (46:10):
Yeah, like the cycle of that fruit tree, right Just?
a free is going.
First of all, we are get thatseed to sprout Like hold on,
that's a whole feet and it's on,if you know anything about
plants.
Getting that seed to sproutLike, oh okay, because some of
them are surrounded by, like youknow, that outer casing of
something ridiculous, right,that whole net, right, mm-hmm,
(46:30):
that hard stone like thing.
All right, now we got that dangon thing to sprout.
Now what's the tree?
Okay, it's like about three orfour to five years for some of
those trees to even flowerbefore from it.
As you put that seed in it andjust because you see those, you
know trees forming, you stilldon't got no fruits to get from
(46:52):
it.
Yet.
You still got to take the time,nurture it and, you know, act
accordingly.
In the meantime, you have to.
M (47:00):
And again, it's almost like Growing a tree is like growing
raising your kids, and I can.
This picture I've always seenand I gotta buy that picture too
.
But it's it's two people andit's one.
Both have seeds and One iswatering the other one.
Just do the seed out there andif you watch it it's like a
(47:20):
little pamphlet.
If you flick it you see thatthe one, the guy who's watering
the tree and every day put stuffon the tree.
If the tree is growing straightand healthy, the other trees is
Barely a little root, just justa little buzz out the ground.
He looked in, the guy lookingat the ground, like what?
T (47:37):
the hell it's a little seedling.
M (47:39):
Yeah, it's just that's it.
This guy suffers Everyday.
There's one guy putting wateron it.
He's meticulous, he's on top ofit, he's, he's making sure it's
good, it's healthy.
T (47:50):
He's caring for it.
M (47:52):
Yeah, I look at all through it out there.
So you know, I let naturefigure it out.
So, at some point, the guy whotook care of the tree.
The tree is beautiful andhealthy.
The other guys tree in a being.
A puny little Unhealthy treejust bent over and he asked the
guy you know, I think at the endit asked him like, why your
tree so bigger than mine?
He said because I took care ofthe tree.
(48:13):
The tree needed nurturing, he,the tree needed nutrients.
I was here to take care of thetree.
So if you take care of the tree, you're gonna be able to see
the end, this beautiful tree,because you took care of it.
You, on the other hand, just dothe damn seed out there and so
it's gonna rain from the sky.
It'll grow, it'll be alright.
Left it to chance.
(48:34):
Left it to chance.
And pretty much that's what'shappening with the kids today.
You had the parents and theguardians and the families who
are basically nurturing the kidand Feed the kid, knowledge and
giving them more bases in orderto grow from.
And other people just say okay,kids here, I'll let that.
Whoever raise them, if thestreets raise them, I'll let.
Wherever they'll be, they'll bealright, they'll end up, you
(48:56):
know, being where they're gonnabe.
And then we all see the treethat's been properly taken care
of, got more guidance, been, youknow people been, put them in
the position to be successful,can't be successful.
T (49:09):
Say the same thing about the relationships that we see today.
Hmm, yes relationships whereyou know you taking care, you
put the work in and you'veactually nurtured that that
Relationship and you see itthriving.
With some relationships youknow you get together and you
just leave it to chance, likeRomanticism, right, and if the
(49:29):
romance runs out, you know, thenyou feel the talent right you
don't know work like therelationship that's gonna work
for itself and it's like now.
You got to put the care at thattime and the nurturing even into
the relationship, into yourself, to actually grow and to thrive
as a person.
M (49:49):
You have to a tee.
We're two examples of that.
You put the, you put that intoyour marriage and now you are
married with beautiful kids andthriving my marriage, a
beautiful son and thriving.
T (50:05):
Yeah, you can tell it's still working.
M (50:07):
It's always Always got to work because we're constantly
changing.
So when I tell people, you knowit's my Silly sense of note one
time said, yeah, yeah, justlook like two people just know
everything.
I said, no, we don't knoweverything, but what we did was
we got spouses that are ourteammates, are true teammates.
T (50:28):
So I got it like marriage.
Marriage like, yeah, like itcomes out and it's like it'll
whoop your ass.
And if you not, mom and sirsaid like in the marriage, you
got to put your battle gear onright.
M (50:41):
Yep.
T (50:42):
Live the idea having you be boxing and if you not boxing it
back, it gets the best of you.
Then you defeat it.
Then that means you're doneright Out there in, like life is
battling you right, because,like life, whoop your ass right?
Yep, yes, you will battle inlife back.
Then, yeah, you're dead, you're.
(51:03):
That's just the end of it.
You stop fighting and then youknow that's the end and it's the
same thing within therelationship.
It can be a relationship withyour parents, the relationship
with your siblings, with yourcousins.
All these relationships havethe capacity to literally Whoop
all of our asses.
And if you're not back therefighting for that relationship
(51:26):
for your sister, like yo, no, no, we're not doing that and we
don't need to be as close as weused to be, but we're gonna have
some bit of a relationshipwhere we can both thrive as
sisters together.
Like you, my mom, you ain'tgoing nowhere.
You know I need respect here.
You need respect there.
Let's find the middle ground,like we don't got to be super
close, but let's fight forsomething that's ours right.
(51:48):
Absolutely absolutely hours,because the relationships have
the capacity to real life getyou where you know you don't
want to.
And if you can fight throughthose things, you know people
act right you.
You, just a tree standing likeyou ain't never been moved
before, like life never happenedto you before and it has.
(52:11):
But if you're able to get pastthose things, keep growing, keep
thriving you have to and yourroots off foot in the ground to.
M (52:21):
That's the other thing.
Your roots are so Deep in theground it's gonna take a lot to
know, a lot to move.
So that's why you, you take it.
You can take the 100 degreeweather comes a little, 100 mile
an hour, wind come.
Yeah, you know a little bit, butyou're gonna be still there.
(52:43):
You're gonna be right there,and that's what a lot of people
understand that this thingcalled life in easy.
It's never been easy.
It's never gonna be easy.
So if anybody thinks it's gonnabe easy, you can forget.
You might just chalk it upright now no, it's not gonna be
easy, he's for losers.
What's up?
Hello, we could not be thepeople we are.
(53:04):
If it was easy, yeah, we wouldnot be here have this
conversation.
T (53:08):
Yeah, it was.
If I want to ease it easy no,born life, life is born and busy
, so yeah.
M (53:22):
Yes, it's like, oh god, no, and I'm gonna say this also
there are gonna be somerelationships, my people, that
you may have to cut them off.
You may have to come off like adisease, lim, because if that
relationship is detrimental toyour mental health and your
moral health, you have to letthem go.
(53:43):
And again, it's gonna be hard,it's gonna be difficult, but
it's for your own good, it's notfor their good, it's for you.
You have to be the one to behealthy.
You're the one who had to liveon your morals.
You don't want to be ten toesdown and believe and stand firm.
If that person ain't that, youain't got a customer I got do
anything I lead, just leave.
T (54:03):
Okay, say they just leave, because Like I mean a blur to
dole out like that.
But don't kind of wait forrelationships.
But if your relationship doesChallenge you know you're, your
morals, that's one thing.
But if you're within a marriageand you feel like you know it's
(54:26):
just not going your way or yourmorals are being challenged,
you have to consider whatliterally bought you there from
the first place.
And you got it.
You know I'm gonna do the work.
You got to be still, or youknow you got them.
Yeah, take your time when youmove, because Hasty movements
don't get us anywhere either.
Right?
No that's part of morals also,is you know the time that you
(54:51):
sit with things right?
We're probably talking to thinkbefore we talk, right, and so
you want to think before you putsome things into action.
But no one should be unhappy.
But you also want to be mindfulthat Moving Around isn't
(55:12):
necessarily that thing that'sgonna make you happy, right?
Sometimes miss some things whenchoosing your mate and if you
move too quick, you don't havetime enough to reflect and what
it is that made you choose thatmate or perhaps made you stay in
that relationship so where youdidn't feel the respect that you
needed, or perhaps make choicesthat perhaps you didn't want to
(55:35):
make, or made you Compromisepieces of your spiritual self or
just any piece of yourself.
So you got to sit back andthink about those things.
But, but indeed, you know,don't not move accordingly.
M (55:51):
Yeah, I swear you.
You, you can always encapsulatean entire beating, the entire
concept Contire podcast.
Just like, all of a sudden,this is like Hmm, how do you,
how do we wrap this up?
And you just like prove boom asinto a nice ball with a little
ball on it, and I swear it.
(56:13):
This is one of thoseconversations that it had to be
had, because we're seeing moraldecay, morality decaying,
morality formed by the waysideand when that happens, we no
longer become a functioningsociety.
He's become a Society ofanarchists and you got to have
(56:34):
rules.
You have to live by certainrules.
Everybody should have a certainrule that you live by, certain
things that you just gonna stand10th toes deep in yeah and
being Morally, having a moralcompass, is the key.
You got to have more compassbecause you don't have that, you
will do anything and, as we seein society in general, people
(56:55):
do anything.
So, it's important to instillin our kids.
We asked you have to instill inyour kids and you have to be
the one because, again, as Tsaid before, if you do not
personally install in their kid,somebody else's moral compass
will be installed in that kidand you probably won't like how
(57:16):
that ends up for you.
You won't.
T (57:19):
But I mean it could be your grandma, your kid, out there
acting old now.
Yeah.
M (57:25):
Yeah, you absolutely got there right and that can very
well happen to happens all thetime now.
So again, people Again, justget your moral compass straight
before you go out there and gofor anything where there's jobs,
relationships, personal growth,anything.
Just get that straight and thenmake sure your kids yeah, but
keep it straight.
T (57:46):
Once you got it straight, keep it straight, don't let
anyone else challenge it.
I.
M (57:50):
Can't say no more, and with that one I'm gonna end this
episode on the mic with the MAuntie listen y'all Subscribe
button.
Like the channel a little bellso you can get the next podcast
coming out.
Until then, people stay safe.
And these and blesses to you,you, you, you, you, you or you,
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(58:11):
you, you, swinging you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you
hear me.
You know you call me when Ihear you.
Welcome back to on the mic with the M and T Listen y'all.
Last week we had we had a hotdiscussion and it's up and
running.
Listen to your comments.
We want to hear all of thembecause we were off the wall and
hot last week with thatconversation about Jada, which
hopefully we want to talk abouther again.
T (00:24):
I was just cool as a cucumber .
M (00:27):
Yes, she was.
Yes, she was very, very cool.
The producer was a little hot,so today's is us.
The producer had to takeanother week to calm down a
little bit, so but we're going.
This week is going to beprobably not as heat intensive,
not as hot, but it's going todeal with a thing called
morality.
(00:48):
A little word, big meeting, andI want to solve by saying you
should not need a Quran, a Bible, torah or any other book to
live a moral life.
Not preaching to anybody, now,you won't go there.
But when people say, well, youknow what, I couldn't tell right
(01:11):
from wrong.
One thing led to another,that's some bullshit.
You know you want to goddamnget to where you got to get to
now.
You got to fess up to what youdid.
So the day we go talk aboutmorality and how to really have
it and not go church, you can gochurch.
We suggest you do every yourspiritual life calls you to do,
but stop blaming on one thinghappened to another and get some
(01:33):
morality back in your life.
What do you think?
T.
T (01:35):
I mean, I think, first of all you, we got to start up with
instilling morality in ourhousehold, because what we see
is today like that lack thereof,the was it instilled in that
generation before, like stoppingaccess questions, because
morality is something that istaught, like the things that we
(01:58):
do and don't do in this house.
Right, we don't treat peoplelike that.
Right, your mother would tellyou when you go out and you, you
know, walk past a janitor andyou smile and you speak to
people.
You know we don't just ignorepeople.
You know, and it doesn't matterwhat type of job they have.
That's part of you.
You know your moral upbringing,that moral guidance, right, and
(02:20):
it's really something that youhave to instilling your children
.
And so if you're around yourchildren and you're kind of
always on joke time, I mean it'sokay to kind of laughingly
treat people like crap or it's afeud with the.
You know family, siblings,child's father, and it's right.
(02:40):
And you know some the child'sface.
That's the moral, that's howthey're being brought out,
that's that moral.
You know confidence andguidance being instilled in them
and it's a little all over theplace, because now you're being
taught and guided how to talk topeople, right?
So if you're daughter, right,your adult child, and you're
(03:00):
disrespectful towards your momor your tone is just excessively
loud or just out of the normal,right, what type of morals are
you given to your, to your child, right?
Are they learning to respecttheir children, their elders?
So what happens when theybecome children, adults?
Do they then, in turn, respecttheir elders?
(03:22):
If you're a woman and you haveit falling out with you, know,
your significant other, yourchild's father, right, and your
child falling out, what happened?
The child is watching it all,right?
Are you teaching your childgrace?
Are you teaching your child tomaintain respect Even when
someone's not respecting you?
(03:43):
What are we teaching ourchildren, nieces and nephews,
because everybody's a spongearound us just soaking it up,
even our girlfriends, right?
Our girlfriends are smashingback off our energy at homeboys,
right Over, acting a plum foolwith just significant other.
How you think my girlfriendgoing to act if all I act as a
(04:03):
plum fool?
She don't feel like she got tomatch my energy.
As opposed to redirect in thesituation, like na says, that's
not how we talk to men out here.
Don't disrespect that man likethat who's going to redirect and
teach and then still and showus, you know, exactly what needs
to be done.
And, morally, how to move hasto be asked how we teach our
children how we move ourselves.
(04:25):
The men cannot sit in a circleand listen to other men how
they're moving and, morally, howthey're treating their women or
their children.
You know, and morallycomplaining about how to support
and when to support theirchildren and we're all going to
listen to it.
Somebody there has to say flagon the place, or flag.
(04:47):
No you only see your kid everyother weekend.
That's not a lot, it's a start.
It's a start, but it's not alot.
That's true, that's seven daysin the week and you might not
see your kid that week, any ofthose seven days.
It's actually not a lot.
You could do more and it'simmoral of you just to be
(05:08):
sitting there being some my yesperson.
Oh, you're wrong.
No, no, no.
You talking disrespectful toeach other.
That's not morally sound.
That is out of order.
M (05:25):
That is so true, t.
You are actually speaking theabsolute truth because I know
growing up that I'll be honest.
I'm looking at y'all right nowgrowing up, I don't go to God
damn church and I know most ofy'all looking at me today say,
yeah, when I was growing up Ireally want to go church.
I was forced to go church if mygrandma or my mama or whoever
(05:46):
I'm a go.
But the one thing you learn wasa sense of morality, even after
you left church and you decideyou know you got, became grown
and start your own life.
You may say I may not go churchevery so many times, you know
you're not used to, but youstill had a sense of morality
that was that was instilled inyou by going to church or going
wherever you went and womenmoves, or the men who went right
(06:09):
.
Absolutely.
T (06:14):
That was.
M (06:15):
That was the key.
Because they expected you, theytaught you, because expected
you to roll like they roll whenyou got older.
T (06:23):
As a kid.
M (06:23):
you will understand because you're a kid.
Yeah, okay, I listen to theseBible verses or whatever they
teach me.
But you knew you remember thoseBible verses when you got out
there.
You know certain things thatwere still in you that you just
would not do.
Yeah, I'm not even going to tryto do that because I know,
because you go back to all of usin the church and remember to
tell me I shouldn't do that, soyou do know that's a lot of
(06:45):
foundry that's created.
T (06:47):
That's that moral compass, that's that's trying to guide
you because you already built.
That foundation is set right,absolutely.
M (06:56):
Yes, somebody has said it and you knew from that point on,
you're going to get it.
You're and you're going to goand duct church.
You may, your parents may nothave gone to church, but, god
damn it, some of us in your assto church.
Go.
Your grandmother or yourgrandma's going to come, pick
your ass up and take the church.
Somebody, a sister or auntie orsomeone's going to grab you and
take you so you could say, well, when we were growing up, well,
(07:17):
I never went to church, or Idon't know what you're talking
about.
Yes, you do, because you wentthere.
Now, if you chose not to followthe path, that's your choice,
but you were taught.
The problem is like you stayedtoday is these babies are today,
are getting the same forceful Iwant to say forceful they're
not getting the same training aswe did.
You may not, like I said, wewant anyone go every Sunday, but
(07:42):
damn, I was going every Sunday.
But these babies, they get theopportunity to even go up every
Sunday.
They may not even go ever.
They may, they may, they mayhave went there when they got
Christian and that was it.
Damn, as babies, as babies, andthat was about the last time
they went there or you know, youget the ones that may have gone
.
You know, easter, mother's Day,christmas, we call that those
(08:04):
three and very important times.
You only show up in church.
Everybody get.
You say, oh you bet, but youbet.
T (08:11):
Yes, you see, everybody have seen the lessons, so even if
that's where you started, showup.
M (08:17):
Just show up to show up, and if you don't show up and you're
not giving your baby anyleadership or any guidance
because, again, what I hear alot of people say is you know
I'm busy, the ones that don't golike I'm busy, I got work.
I, you know I can get to workin the morning, I got this long
shift, I got all this going onfinding dandy.
But you can at least put your.
(08:38):
Give your kids somebody.
If you can do it, give it tosomeone so they go out there and
find that foundation.
T (08:45):
Now, when you give your kids to someone to instill certain
stuff in them, be mindful, theywill be reflective of other
people as opposed to you.
No, you say that again.
Yeah, they're going to bereflective of those other people
as opposed to you.
Meaning, when you give yourchildren to your parents and you
rely on them only to instillthe things that they believe in
(09:09):
your children, you're going tosee your child move in a way,
and you're going to hear yourmom as opposed to hearing
yourself.
Oh, you have to be careful whoyou give your child to to
instill, and sometimes you'renot even giving your child to
these people.
Sometimes you left your kidjust empty, and so who's ever
(09:32):
pouring that?
They have nothing, and so nowthat's what they had.
Yeah, you know, it's true, ifyour kid has nothing, somebody
gonna fill up, they nothing withthe something.
And then what?
Talking like the celebritiestalk, or moving like how the
guys outside move, as opposed tomoving like how you told them
(09:53):
to move and talk them to move,and talking like how you taught
them to talk, oh, my daughter isnot going to be just like
dancing and moving any othertype of way that she's seen on
TV and on tiktok.
No, we're not here right?
I'm gonna do a little just likethat.
Now.
Let me calm those hips downseven year old, because we're
(10:14):
not moving like that at this ageand you might know all those
moves and dances, but you alsoknow discretion.
Hello, you move differently indifferent rooms and spaces of
people.
The more guidance is going toremind you of that.
It's not just the way you dance, the way you talk, the way you
move.
Depending on who's in that roomyou will move different.
(10:38):
Your volume will go up or down.
The room fully appears.
You can be just as loud.
Make all the loud out verse youwant room full of elderly
people watching rock tone.
Be super respectful to yourmama and I mean super respectful
and I mean like impressed.
Do the stuff that we don't evennormally do.
Yeah.
M (11:00):
That's true mind your manners .
You tell you what to do.
A bond you got there, man, youknow what you, how to act.
That means you better act thefood.
Yes come back and you go inthere knowing that I'm not gonna
disappoint them, because I knowif I do go out here and act,
I'm outside myself.
They're gonna hear and they'regonna feel Disappointed in you
because to them is like Ihaven't raised you and trained
(11:22):
you enough well enough to go outhere and not act a goddamn fool
my house or some by else'sbuilding or any function.
You should be able to actAccordingly because I thought,
that, yeah, if you're out there,somebody else forced you to act
accordingly.
Here's what I always heard.
So if that person jumps off abridge, you jump off a bridge
(11:44):
too.
T (11:45):
Nah, wouldn't so either you're gonna give you, you're
gonna teach, the moral compassand guidance you're gonna teach
the morals to your child andGive them consequences if they
do not, you know, actaccordingly, or you gonna let it
grow up and and life is givethem the consequences because
(12:06):
they didn't have the proper set,you know, moral compass to
guide their Choices in life andthey're gonna choose poorly and
the consequences that life gives, you know, sometimes you're
gonna pay a long time for thosethings.
M (12:19):
Absolutely, and we're seeing it now.
We're seeing now what happenswhen you don't properly raise
your kids with morals andstandards.
T (12:28):
You become adults who you know no, relationships are easy
and you know, go without thought, but you know it comes down to
the breakdown of therelationships, right, and how we
do just blatantly disrespectpeople out, like so loud, so
outward right, people's moralcompass, when family
(12:51):
relationships kind of go in alittle bit of a kaboom right, so
to speak, like a blow-uphappens, right.
You know family, like we can'tput our business on Facebook
right, we can't go to the gramwith you know our family's
business, because to us that'sjust not a choice that we would
(13:12):
make.
It's not morally with ourcompass is telling us to do
right.
We know that.
No, our business is not forpublic.
You know consumption and it'sjust not what we're gonna do.
Same thing when you you knowyou haven't fallen out with the
family member.
How much of a disrespect areyou be willing to give?
(13:32):
You know the people that yousupposed to be loving and our
blood tied to not much like herand point you like Let me walk
away because this is family,right, and so you get hurt and
level of respect because youknow your parents taught you
that and they instilled that,but somehow, when it comes to
you know the make that you choseand that goes awry.
(13:53):
You know some people are ableto enter into this space and
place of disrespect that's soextreme and taken so far, and
out of the damn ballpark You'relike where's your moral compass
at?
Exactly gets to be thatdisrespectful With the person
who you just left six damnmonths ago.
(14:13):
What are you doing Right?
And then the crazy part yougonna come back around trying to
love one later on.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, come on, come on Moral,speaking right there.
M (14:29):
You're absolutely right.
And the thing is, people, I'mgonna look at it, I'm gonna look
at you again.
Understand this be very careful.
You say to people when youangry, because they will never
I'm here, I'm just racing say itagainst you.
Really clear on what I'm sayingBe very careful.
What you say to anybody inanger they will never, ever,
(14:50):
ever forget it.
They may forgive you, but theywill never forget it and it will
always be in the back of theirmind and some file cabinet.
They'll always had that littletension when you said this to me
because you said it.
So that's, be careful with yourwords, because words is power
and that will always take howyou guys, relationships will be
(15:10):
moving forward.
I had to say that because a lotof people said words don't hurt,
it does Mm-hmm words for a lotof people and people never
forget it and and you have to bejust to think about say, oh, is
it worth saying if you, ifyou're doing from our position
of hurt, mm-hmm, never doanything from position of hurt,
hurt, hurt people, hurt people.
Yeah, so it's don't need to dothat, because you're gonna go
(15:31):
down a road that's gonna lead tonowhere.
It's not gonna lead to a nicerainbow in the sky.
A little pot of gold was goinginto a pot of shit.
T (15:41):
I mean think about how the woman can can talk and and just
like that that may rub you thewrong way, right?
Yes a woman can use her tongueand not near one Cuss word
falling out of her mouth.
I mean, rip that man apart andeverything you say is the truth,
(16:04):
but she didn't have to say itlike that.
I'll be.
If you're on the sidelines,you've been done.
Wanted to cross to some ofthese men to stuff that the
women can say.
I mean just just a sword for atongue, right?
Yes, hey, you think thatbecause you apologize for how
(16:25):
you spoke to that man or whatyou said, that it's not going to
like affect how he moves fromhere on out, right, asculate the
man who was your child's father, but then you want to go and
clean up the relationship withhim.
Like me, that's a lot ofcleaning there, doesn't a lot?
(16:47):
I mean you it's a lot easier tonot shit in certain places
because, hmm, the lot of y'alldon't got the elbow grease for
it.
I don't, no, no.
M (17:01):
You're not ready for that.
No one is ready for that,because when you're a matulated
man, he never forgets it.
Yeah, I was in conversationswith uncles years ago and just
sit as a kid listening and yousaid, damn, oh, let's just say
that to him.
I'm still mad.
He's still mad cuz he's tellingthem Later.
T (17:29):
They do not forget.
They can let it go, they canmove on.
Y'all can still have arelationship, but they're going
to categorize the informationand then they're gonna move
accordingly with that like, inother words, they're gonna
protect themselves from you.
Perhaps they won't be asvulnerable with you as they move
forward, perhaps they won't,you know, let you in on how
(17:49):
they're really feeling or whatthey're really doing, like,
because I don't ever want to getinto a place of space where you
can use such informationAgainst me or to chop me down
and make me feel and and thecounterpart could have
definitely done the same thingtoo right?
Yes that doesn't mean that word.
You're not going to moveaccordingly after, like it
(18:12):
doesn't matter who's coming forwho, the stuff that you hear
people say when they're mad,those low blows, those damn
kidney shots, yeah, mentor,don't give a damn.
If she did say sorry, she meantit right and and.
And she might not have meant itright, she might have just been
(18:36):
mad, but the fact that shethought it it does something
different to our mental spaces.
And so for us to just speak sofreely, like I don't bite my
tongue for nobody, you know, I'mreal, I keep real.
Yeah, that's, it's a foolish,foolish behavior.
And you're out hurting peopleand the idea that you hurting
(18:58):
people, you know like with the,without the intent of hurting
people, or just like not evenKaren.
M (19:04):
Foolish, foolish, holy holy and and you're not a virtuous
woman, I'd say that much no, no,no and Seeing it, you know,
seeing when you're younger andseeing as you get in your
relationships and you startlooking at how you interact with
people.
I mean, this time in your hands, a man, the certain that you
(19:25):
want to say that, you know,would just, it's like a surgeon.
You just need a yeah cutter andyour ashes.
You have to ask yourself Isthat that's when you step back
and you say what's the endresult?
What's my end game?
Yeah, I want to hurt her or do Iwant to destroy this
relationship?
Hurting her could do that anddestroy the relationship,
(19:48):
because women don't forgeteither, just like yeah, yeah, no
.
T (19:53):
but you could be asking yourself, though am I throwing a
stone in my bed, or am I notthrowing a stone in my bed?
Because sometimes you couldjust count it up to a stone,
like if I move like this right,is that gonna be harder to land,
or is it gonna be easier to lay?
Is this a feather or a rockRight?
Like which one is it Rocks inyour relationships?
(20:15):
Hmm?
M (20:18):
Yeah, why?
T (20:21):
If you don't want to live hard, no, yeah, do that by
yourself.
No, nobody want to live hardwith nobody, especially like not
a mental hard right?
I think we just be in the otherup mentally like it's too much
Monday that's missing or need tobe got out here for us to be
out here like fighting eachother when we supposed to be in
it together.
Go find you somebody who wantsto do it with you or somebody
(20:43):
who you want to do it with.
M (20:46):
Hello, hello, because if you would, somebody that you got to
live that way with you should bein a relationship and
something's really wrong withyou.
I don't know anybody that wasliving a bad that type of
relationship.
T (20:58):
And you shouldn't be living with somebody who takes you out
of your moral, like hookup, likewhat they can snatch you so far
out of yourself that thateverything your grandma taught
you, like everything your mamataught you, your daddy taught
you, it just goes out of thewindow.
Oh, you're in a bad situation.
(21:20):
Either you've lettingself-control go or you gotta let
that person go.
That, too, it just makes nosense if you're not within
yourself, and you can't staywithin yourself even when you're
angry.
M (21:36):
I don't know that's gonna work out Sometimes.
I'll tell you it doesn't.
You're just there At some point.
You're almost kind of sayingyou know I can do better, but do
I want to go out there and findsomeone?
Yes, you don't want to wasteyour goddamn time with somebody
that you know you're not goingto marry them.
If you're not married, you justdate them, and you know you had
this kind of relationship.
(21:56):
It doesn't get better, it getsworse.
T (21:59):
Or you just not to say like you've developed an obsession
with this person, but you'rejust kind of, because that
sounds so harsh.
But literally sometimes webecome a little bit like
obsessed with the person right,like you know that guy's not
going to marry you, you knowwhen he gets around your family
like he's not even trying toreally be a family-oriented guy,
and then when he leaves you youtry to run him over with your
(22:19):
car.
What?
Like if you don't have Ben movedon, like he Ben told you.
Remember that Instagram videowhere the woman that ran that
man over with her car?
Like, remember the other onewhere the girl tried to set that
man car on fire and then itexploded in her face and knocked
her off her damn sock?
(22:40):
These women are obsessed.
We always talk about and like,when you think of obsession and
a relationship, a lot of us goto like the male, right, because
they're talking to stalkers andyou've seen it on Lifetime.
You know your whole childhood.
But, like, think about thewomen who are real-life obsessed
with the men, who know thatthese men are not going to marry
(23:01):
them, these men do not treatthem well and they still going
to go knock on you know the nextwoman door talking about where
my man at you sleeping with myman, I'm going to go hit him
with the car or I'm going to.
You know, go call cheaters.
What are you calling cheatersfor?
He's not your man Like you,just letting them play with you.
You got to let go because theseare obsessions and this is
(23:24):
taking you out of your morals,right?
M (23:26):
Yes.
T (23:27):
No better than to sit here and be obsessed over someone who
, first of all, is not eventreating you well, right, hello,
you're right.
Well, you just trying to holdon to them for hold on sake, not
even for the sake of sayingthat you have someone, but just
(23:47):
for the sake of not letting themgo.
It's not even making senseanymore.
Yeah, so your morals are beingcompromised in a relationship,
or or you're.
You know, you're spirituallyguided and now you know the walk
that your mate wants you towalk.
It goes totally against.
(24:08):
You know every, every bit ofyour upbringing.
M (24:12):
Mm.
Hmm, yes, you got to walk away.
You got to that show for my man.
T (24:20):
I was going to talk about a woman who perhaps is like
stealing stuff with her man, butshe went straight to killing
and that was extreme.
But let's go to for my man.
What's that Date line?
Or something ridiculous.
M (24:33):
For my man comes on BT, I think, and it's a show.
T (24:38):
And.
M (24:38):
I swear, I thought it was like a one season show.
Okay, so one season with awoman would do shit for a man.
Oh, you know, they havemultiple seasons where multiple
women from different backgroundsSome are, you know, come from
the street, some come from verytwo parents, household, middle
class and they will find themfrom that initial stage of, oh,
look at them, they just want tofind love and they found this
(25:00):
guy and this guy and them gettogether and by the end of the
show she doesn't kill threepeople to burn the three, she
doesn't do all kinds of crazyshit for this guy.
And now she's in jail foreverand he's in jail forever.
T (25:13):
But it was for my man.
M (25:15):
For my man and the other body .
I'll do anything for me becausehe showed me love I never.
That was the one commondenominator.
Probably 85% of them will sayhe loved me, he showed, he was
the only one in my life thatshowed me love.
And I said, since you show methat much love, I gotta be
dedicated to him, dedicated to apoint where you messed your
whole goddamn life up.
That's what this dude should.
(25:36):
Where was your, where was yourmoral compass?
T (25:40):
That moral compass, love, doesn't challenge it Right.
It helps to direct it to a pathwhere you gain more freedom.
Like that is, that is guidingyou to freedom.
M (25:54):
technically speaking, like to live, you know, just a sound
life and T if a guy says can youjust go commit a crime, can you
go out there and strip for me,sell your body for me, plus, and
let's go ahead and, just youknow, dismember this body and
(26:14):
put it in a freezer.
Because that's my oldgirlfriend is trying to get
child support from me.
And you and your mind said well, that's my man, he wants me to
do it.
I think I should help him.
Something has horriblyhappening.
There's a crack in your damnmoral compass.
It's broken, it shattered thatpoint.
And if you make these decisionsto go there and then the end in
(26:36):
front of the judge andeverybody was talking about you
know I didn't mean to do it, I'msorry to the family that that
the girl dismembered.
Don't hear that shit.
First you're gonna say why thehell did you even listen to some
crazy shit with this dude?
Then then kill this chick andyou're gonna help do what you do
to the body because of love.
That's crazy.
T (26:58):
Well, let's lay Malcolm, let's bring it back several
notches, because you know thatwas a little extreme.
Let's bring it back.
Let's bring it back to thewoman who shows up to child
support court where her man, whowas not paying child support or
showing up to visitations, whyare you supporting that man and
more?
That's immoral.
He's not accountable for hiskid and you and child support
court Some of what he needs topay for.
(27:18):
But what, what, what?
No, you should have been athome trying to get this man to
come up with a proper agreementwith this woman so that he could
properly support, you know, hiskid.
Like we'll show up and throwthat moral compass out of the
river.
You know, on so many differentlike every day, basic, still in
(27:41):
cars, you know you don'tnormally do.
You know just compromising yourbody like yes and it's not just
like selling your body,sometimes it's just like you
know, certain sex acts and sexShenan against that perhaps you
know, you don't, you didn't wantto be involved in, but you got
(28:03):
introduced into this lifestylebecause you was, you know, down
for some guy but it was against.
You know your morals.
No guy or no woman who's tryingto drag you in the opposite
direction of something that wasright and that was instilled in
you.
Like, it's okay to be boring,yes, relationship or out of
(28:27):
relationship, it's okay to be,you know, with with a lot of
people you know Want to callboring, you know, and that damn
board.
You better get up off your assand find a little Korean
barbecue to go kick it and talkto the random people that's in
there, because, like I, deadboring, I go out the that damn
(28:48):
board.
M (28:49):
Hell, no.
And again it goes back toSomebody didn't steal those
values in you, young forwhatever reason, but as a parent
.
T (29:02):
Being that peace with yourself to.
That's something else you gotto be remind mindful.
You know not that need foralways being busy and you know
it's Needing someone's attentionright Now.
You don't always have to be upin someone's face, you know,
subtle your mind with somethingas basic as reading or just, you
(29:23):
know, finding a hobby orsomething to do, especially for
the woman who kind of Enjoy somekind of gets off almost like a
drug on attention sometimesright, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, I don't really want totalk about that for the woman
side of things, but you knowthat that's something that as a
woman and and kind of cominginto age, that has to be taught
(29:46):
also right, like yeah, that shitis cute and you'll see, your,
your daughter, you know, agentstart getting attention from
here and from there, and howthey kind of respond to it.
You also have to read our rectum.
Keep them humble as far as thatis concerned, because for a
woman, then that that attentionis.
It's something that can reallybe, you know, enjoyable for a
(30:09):
woman and can be something thattakes you away From where you
really need to be at a, you knowT.
M (30:16):
That's very important because with young women growing so,
developing so quickly, now.
It's like you should be able tosay oh yeah, she's 13.
Oh yeah, she's 18.
Now You're like well, how areyou good girl, I'm 10, good lord
, what the hell.
So you now have to say somebodyto talk to her, because now
(30:38):
she's going to get unwantedattention Because she's gonna
look a certain way Boys beingvisual, men being visual and
she's gonna be in a light thatshe should not be it.
So somebody didn't still hurtsomething her waiting for 10,
but younger, that you need tocarry yourself a certain way.
(30:59):
You don't dress certain way,you don't try to act a certain
way, you don't want to get tooold because you're not ready for
the work.
And what's going to happen whenyou put yourself in that arena,
because you're not gonna that Igo.
So well, are you 10?
You go, look at you.
So she look 18 to me.
And now she's in a situationbecause she wants the attention,
like she wants the attention.
(31:20):
But if she's properly trained,if she's properly has the moral
Old background, she knows thathey, along the way you're gonna
get some attention.
And then she's gonna know oh,this is what they're talking
about.
So she's not flashed.
You know, I pressed by somebodysaying girl, you she'll look
good.
No, she likes.
Okay, keep moving, because shedoesn't need it because that's,
(31:40):
that's, that's, that'sabsolutely true.
T (31:45):
Those young, tender age really, when you notice People
of all ages will start to noticeyou, maybe not as as young as,
but, yeah, I can recall eveneven very young, young ages, you
know, this man kind of pay alittle more attention and linger
their eyes a little bit longerin your direction.
Mm-hmm, as a young girl cominginto age, if you are taught and
(32:12):
Constantly remind it, and that'show you, you know, something is
instilled in you, then you doknow how to move through those
situations and you do know whatthat attention gets you right,
told you, and then your auntiereinforce it, and then your
auntie, your other auntie, youknow, she just blatantly and
blurted it out, you know, cuzshe, she don't got no free right
(32:32):
the way.
As long as you get thoseteachings and those upbringings,
then you do understand and youare able to Move and navigate a
maneuver properly, right.
The Attention from you know, anadult man is that's, that's
totally different than attentionfrom my peer.
(32:53):
Those are the people whosupposed to be giving me that
attention because, if I add thesame, a man, 28 years old and
I'm 14, well, he done missed the27 year olds, the 26 year olds,
every damn group, down to the14 year old group.
So you telling me Nobody elsewas worth that man's time and
(33:15):
any of the age group of it.
Me, I'm the prize.
How the fuck could I possiblyBe the prize out of all of these
other damn group?
That's basically what my momkept telling and teaching and
instilling in me, like no, beeasy and be very careful,
because Cream of the crop forlike boo boo, you got it going
(33:39):
on and I'm into my own one.
Yes, I had it going on.
Your mom did that.
M (33:44):
Yeah.
T (33:46):
All that.
But you know, 14 and grown-assmen, no, there's something wrong
with them, it's everythingright with you.
And baby girl, you got it goingon.
And those young girls look likesomething, they're beautiful
and they are gorgeous.
And, just like I said, I had itgoing on, they got it going on.
Yeah, gorgeous and they arecoming into their age.
(34:09):
But baby girl, those men, notit, that's not it.
They have been tossed over byevery other group all the women,
the group you don't sayabsolutely your face because
nobody else wanted them.
Leave them right on the outsideand date within your peer group.
M (34:31):
Absolutely because you, because, again it's, it's a
factuation to you.
Oh, my god, he sees me but abeauty, I know.
T (34:41):
He got the time, he got the attention.
He don't go to school with me.
You know he's not petty, he'snot gonna run his mouth and tell
my business like all my otherpeer guys are.
I feel free with him.
Young girl shit.
You know it's young girl shit.
Yeah, oh, come on.
Yeah, oh, that's right.
So we, yeah, leave that outthere.
M (35:03):
That shit is wack all that shit's wack because they get
anybody that old talking to youand your Child yeah, you better
take advantage of the situation.
Yes, he will.
And how many people do we youngladies do we know in our
lifetime have been pregnant bysuch guy?
T (35:19):
and I'll take it to the other side of the spectrum.
You won't even have to go sofar as that man Just the very
idea that he's there andenjoying my conversation in my
time no, he ain't even worththat Much for me, just off of
that piece right there, cuz theyknow you're not even worth no
(35:39):
other woman's time on the phoneand energy in the park.
You're not worth minds either.
Oh, no I know by you that meanseverybody else in this building
is noticing me too, and theyjust too big of a coward to even
mention it.
So I'm gonna keep walking mylittle step.
You know, keep, keep your moralcompasses all the way grounded,
ladies, you know, keep walking.
(36:01):
Them might not be telling youthat they know the same you, but
they are, and you know keepingcute.
So what you do, stay grounded.
M (36:11):
Absolutely.
And as for guys, so this youngboys are now getting the same
attention.
Teachers.
I'm like I read a story with achick lady.
A grown woman was 35.
(36:31):
It had a baby by the boy was 13years old, had a baby by the.
T (36:36):
She started hiding pregnancy From a mind you and what, which
one, which cuz it's been so manystories like that with the
teachers.
Then them popped up pregnantlike what.
M (36:48):
What's going on?
That's not gonna work.
But the female teachers bang mydamn Teenage son.
That's bullshit, you know, ofcourse there'll be a lot of guys
, oh man, but if I had teacherlike that when I was a age, I
know, man, what you call it.
It's still right, it's stillthe same situation either way.
T (37:04):
You you paint the picture.
Yeah, 35 year old woman whowasn't wanted inside of no
circle amongst 35 year olds, 34year olds, 33 year olds and
every other age group down untilyour age group that brought not
either.
You will fix whatever you knowIs broken on you to wear.
You know you can't come into aComparable relationship with
(37:28):
another man.
So now you over here playing inlittle boys land Like One, any,
any boy who's that mature tohang out with the teacher.
You know he probably the creamof the crop in the classroom any
day away.
So you messing up the littlegirls situation.
Young man Women, young girlschecking for you in that
(37:48):
classroom.
Okay, they might not havementioned it right now, but they
have noticed.
You Like we're not even goingto pretend.
Like these women and these menwho are on they pedophile, your
kid pedophile.
You kick like that shit is notokay.
And the young who was enjoyingthat attention and that money,
that that should rock out,because it's not it.
M (38:09):
Definitely not it and just is ruin you.
You're doing your experience ofgrowing up, of enjoying that,
that transition from beingadolescents to young adulthood.
That's your time to grow withinyourself, to learn who you are,
define who you are not.
T (38:26):
From some per your group Learned all that dumb, goofy
shit within your peer group.
M (38:33):
So where's their fucking moral compass?
T (38:35):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So anybody who you link up with, who challenges your moral
compass, something's not rightwith them.
You need to walk away.
M (38:45):
Absolutely.
And that goes back to tobecoming a leader and not a
follower, because so many, whenyou set peer group, that goes
back to people don't want tofeel like an outsider, you don't
feel like the oddball out, theywant to feel like an outcast.
Well, strangely enough, leadersare all that.
You have to be a leader, to bean outcast, to be an outsider,
(39:06):
to be somebody that thatsomebody looks at differently.
Because you're the one thatsays I don't know, fuck, what
y'all doing.
Y'all could go and marching tothe sea.
I'm not gonna be that dumbmotherfucker cuz.
Why am I following y'all?
Yeah, so, because you'refeeling that way, young people,
that means you, you're on adifferent flow.
That means, hey, embrace thatleadership quality and you may
(39:29):
feel Outside, you may feel like,oh, you know what, I don't want
it.
But you rather be a leader thana follower, because you never
know where the followers of whothey're following.
As a leader, you always knowyou're going.
So that's how we have to instillon our kids too, because you
know kids come back.
Well, you know, I know I wantto play with me today because
I've I play something differentor I could play something
(39:49):
different.
There's another kid, that part,one place anything you want to
play but was too scared or, youknow, didn't Suffice that wasn't
self-assured of say, you know,I want to do it because they're
playing that, i'ma, I want toplay that, but if you play it
because, oh, there's another kidthat plays that, so you have to
walk in your truth.
As far kids say that because dothat because they're young,
(40:11):
they will be part of the.
T (40:14):
It's like being the first one in the group of friends who
gets married, right, mm-hmm,somebody who has their mouth
open.
Oh my goodness, I can't believeshe got married at this age.
You just signed up to do someman's laundry for the rest of
your life, baby.
Believe it or not, it's okayand it's not they.
Marriage is just because you're, you know point of view.
(40:35):
It's different or perhaps isnot as enlightened as mine.
You know Exactly.
That's okay, but I'm gonna moveaccordingly.
You cannot be afraid to moveagainst the grain, especially
when you're, when you know whereyour moral compass is guiding
you right.
Yes yes, hey, I'm done dating,I'm not living.
(40:56):
You know that the lifestylewhere you jump in and out of
relationships and have all thesepartners I would like to, you
know, be, do something a littlemore solid, like, no, I do want
a traditional life, so I do wantto be married, or Maybe it's
nothing, not as extreme.
You know, I do want a long-termrelationship, but mostly your
Peers are doing you know thesingle lifestyle or you know the
(41:18):
busy lifestyle and you knowthat's not for you.
You have to bow out and Watchhow, when you put your moral
compass right where it'ssupposed to be and you making
the right choices, watch howmany people start to follow you.
And then you'll go to the pointwhere you are not the first one
, not just the only one in thegroup who's married.
Now, everybody's married.
(41:38):
And you were the first group tobe married.
Right, absolutely, outside it.
Right, so you didn't get tohang out with all your friends
at first.
Right, yeah, so often figureout their own self.
Right, absolutely, because whatyou did was right.
Right, mm-hmm, you'll start tosee people to follow.
M (41:57):
That's true, t.
And the other thing is peoplehave to understand you have to
follow your path.
You know you can't look aroundat your friends who you know she
married and I ain't married orI want to be married.
No, no, no no, stop looking atwhat other people doing and look
at what's your path.
That's probably with Socialmedia.
(42:17):
Today, everybody wants to lookat everybody's life on social
media, which we all know 90% isa lie anyway.
So they were they doing so much.
I ain't doing shit.
You're part of that.
That one glass of champagne'sonly fucking depart.
Took that from a table and sitat a table, just took it and
then put it.
Put it back around round thedoor.
You don't know this.
Yeah, I'm learning your path.
Understand where you want to be,and that also goes back to
(42:39):
understanding who you are.
Again, if you ever, if you havea tight moral compass and you
know pretty much this is what Iwant to do, whatever it is Stay
the course because again, youcan't live your life being
living through your mom, yourdad or your friends.
You'll be, you'll wake up andyou'll be 50 years old and you
(42:59):
got shit going on, you stilldoing the same shit you did when
you was 20, and I don't thinkanybody wants to be For 50 years
old still doing the same shitthey was when there's 20, unless
it's a job that they nowprobably Should be high up in
the job, but when it comes tohow you run your life.
You should not be in that samespare, if it's, if that's good.
You've been rocking, you'rerocking the rocking chair.
(43:20):
You didn't move.
You think you move, but you'rejust going back and forth.
Yeah, so you gotta be, gottaknow who you are.
Hey, what you said before isabout being by yourself.
Being by yourself at some pointin your life is the greatest
thing will ever happen to you,because at that point you know I
have any extractors ofboyfriends, girlfriends, kids,
anything like that.
(43:40):
It's just you that now makesyou sit back and say, whoa, what
am I doing?
And it's not a matter justtrying to find someone, because
find somebody to me always seemlike it was just a way of
keeping busy.
As you said before, there's atime where you, if you feel like
your life ain't going where itshould be going, you probably
need to step back and say youknow what?
Let me just step back, let metake a little pit stop and
(44:04):
reevaluate what am I doing, andwhat am I doing is going to
where I ultimately want to go,and if not, I need to make some
changes.
Now I can't say, oh, yeah, downthe road, make some change.
No, down the road is today,because Decisions you make today
Influences down the road.
Because people always say, well, the future?
No, the future is actually now.
So, yeah, you make right nowhow your life will be five years
(44:29):
from now, ten years from now,next month, next year.
T (44:32):
So so you know, we always say it like in seeds, right, you
saw seeds of today, right Today.
What you gonna get tomorrow,are your seeds gonna sprout
later on?
Are you gonna?
Is it gonna be a fruit tree andthat tree what you gonna have?
Stones on your tree.
What type of seeds are youplanting for the right now,
(44:53):
because later on, when youlooking for a harvest or
something to drop down, you?
M (44:58):
have anything?
T (45:01):
Yes we're again and let your moral compass guide you as you
move about to make the rightchoice the plant the proper
seeds.
That moral compass is gonnaMake you mindful to go back and
water those seeds right, becausemorally you know that you have
to nurture things right and takeproper care, right.
I'm gonna say, oh no, take poorcare of the things that you get,
(45:24):
that you take pride in and takecare of right it's gonna say
proper care in those things, andso when you take proper care of
something, you plant the seeds.
Take proper care of something,you plant those proper seeds,
you're gonna get something outof it, especially something that
you actually wanted.
M (45:43):
Absolutely.
T (45:45):
It's gonna be higher.
M (45:47):
Everything T people on the stand is it's not gonna happen
overnight.
Over many podcasts, we've saidit many times it's not gonna be
a pill, it's not gonna be a shot.
I'll be several very quickMm-hmm.
Have the patience mm-hmm forthis thing to grow.
The trees are all grownovernight, so you can you plan
through the day.
Is that go tomorrow?
(46:08):
The, oh, the tree in here.
T (46:10):
Yeah, like the cycle of that fruit tree, right Just?
a free is going.
First of all, we are get thatseed to sprout Like hold on,
that's a whole feet and it's on,if you know anything about
plants.
Getting that seed to sproutLike, oh okay, because some of
them are surrounded by, like youknow, that outer casing of
something ridiculous, right,that whole net, right, mm-hmm,
(46:30):
that hard stone like thing.
All right, now we got that dangon thing to sprout.
Now what's the tree?
Okay, it's like about three orfour to five years for some of
those trees to even flowerbefore from it.
As you put that seed in it andjust because you see those, you
know trees forming, you stilldon't got no fruits to get from
(46:52):
it.
Yet.
You still got to take the time,nurture it and, you know, act
accordingly.
In the meantime, you have to.
M (47:00):
And again, it's almost like Growing a tree is like growing
raising your kids, and I can.
This picture I've always seenand I gotta buy that picture too
.
But it's it's two people andit's one.
Both have seeds and One iswatering the other one.
Just do the seed out there andif you watch it it's like a
(47:20):
little pamphlet.
If you flick it you see thatthe one, the guy who's watering
the tree and every day put stuffon the tree.
If the tree is growing straightand healthy, the other trees is
Barely a little root, just justa little buzz out the ground.
He looked in, the guy lookingat the ground, like what?
T (47:37):
the hell it's a little seedling.
M (47:39):
Yeah, it's just that's it.
This guy suffers Everyday.
There's one guy putting wateron it.
He's meticulous, he's on top ofit, he's, he's making sure it's
good, it's healthy.
T (47:50):
He's caring for it.
M (47:52):
Yeah, I look at all through it out there.
So you know, I let naturefigure it out.
So, at some point, the guy whotook care of the tree.
The tree is beautiful andhealthy.
The other guys tree in a being.
A puny little Unhealthy treejust bent over and he asked the
guy you know, I think at the endit asked him like, why your
tree so bigger than mine?
He said because I took care ofthe tree.
(48:13):
The tree needed nurturing, he,the tree needed nutrients.
I was here to take care of thetree.
So if you take care of the tree, you're gonna be able to see
the end, this beautiful tree,because you took care of it.
You, on the other hand, just dothe damn seed out there and so
it's gonna rain from the sky.
It'll grow, it'll be alright.
Left it to chance.
(48:34):
Left it to chance.
And pretty much that's what'shappening with the kids today.
You had the parents and theguardians and the families who
are basically nurturing the kidand Feed the kid, knowledge and
giving them more bases in orderto grow from.
And other people just say okay,kids here, I'll let that.
Whoever raise them, if thestreets raise them, I'll let.
Wherever they'll be, they'll bealright, they'll end up, you
(48:56):
know, being where they're gonnabe.
And then we all see the treethat's been properly taken care
of, got more guidance, been, youknow people been, put them in
the position to be successful,can't be successful.
T (49:09):
Say the same thing about the relationships that we see today.
Hmm, yes relationships whereyou know you taking care, you
put the work in and you'veactually nurtured that that
Relationship and you see itthriving.
With some relationships youknow you get together and you
just leave it to chance, likeRomanticism, right, and if the
(49:29):
romance runs out, you know, thenyou feel the talent right you
don't know work like therelationship that's gonna work
for itself and it's like now.
You got to put the care at thattime and the nurturing even into
the relationship, into yourself, to actually grow and to thrive
as a person.
M (49:49):
You have to a tee.
We're two examples of that.
You put the, you put that intoyour marriage and now you are
married with beautiful kids andthriving my marriage, a
beautiful son and thriving.
T (50:05):
Yeah, you can tell it's still working.
M (50:07):
It's always Always got to work because we're constantly
changing.
So when I tell people, you knowit's my Silly sense of note one
time said, yeah, yeah, justlook like two people just know
everything.
I said, no, we don't knoweverything, but what we did was
we got spouses that are ourteammates, are true teammates.
T (50:28):
So I got it like marriage.
Marriage like, yeah, like itcomes out and it's like it'll
whoop your ass.
And if you not, mom and sirsaid like in the marriage, you
got to put your battle gear onright.
M (50:41):
Yep.
T (50:42):
Live the idea having you be boxing and if you not boxing it
back, it gets the best of you.
Then you defeat it.
Then that means you're doneright Out there in, like life is
battling you right, because,like life, whoop your ass right?
Yep, yes, you will battle inlife back.
Then, yeah, you're dead, you're.
(51:03):
That's just the end of it.
You stop fighting and then youknow that's the end and it's the
same thing within therelationship.
It can be a relationship withyour parents, the relationship
with your siblings, with yourcousins.
All these relationships havethe capacity to literally Whoop
all of our asses.
And if you're not back therefighting for that relationship
(51:26):
for your sister, like yo, no, no, we're not doing that and we
don't need to be as close as weused to be, but we're gonna have
some bit of a relationshipwhere we can both thrive as
sisters together.
Like you, my mom, you ain'tgoing nowhere.
You know I need respect here.
You need respect there.
Let's find the middle ground,like we don't got to be super
close, but let's fight forsomething that's ours right.
(51:48):
Absolutely absolutely hours,because the relationships have
the capacity to real life getyou where you know you don't
want to.
And if you can fight throughthose things, you know people
act right you.
You, just a tree standing likeyou ain't never been moved
before, like life never happenedto you before and it has.
(52:11):
But if you're able to get pastthose things, keep growing, keep
thriving you have to and yourroots off foot in the ground to.
M (52:21):
That's the other thing.
Your roots are so Deep in theground it's gonna take a lot to
know, a lot to move.
So that's why you, you take it.
You can take the 100 degreeweather comes a little, 100 mile
an hour, wind come.
Yeah, you know a little bit, butyou're gonna be still there.
(52:43):
You're gonna be right there,and that's what a lot of people
understand that this thingcalled life in easy.
It's never been easy.
It's never gonna be easy.
So if anybody thinks it's gonnabe easy, you can forget.
You might just chalk it upright now no, it's not gonna be
easy, he's for losers.
What's up?
Hello, we could not be thepeople we are.
(53:04):
If it was easy, yeah, we wouldnot be here have this
conversation.
T (53:08):
Yeah, it was.
If I want to ease it easy no,born life, life is born and busy
, so yeah.
M (53:22):
Yes, it's like, oh god, no, and I'm gonna say this also
there are gonna be somerelationships, my people, that
you may have to cut them off.
You may have to come off like adisease, lim, because if that
relationship is detrimental toyour mental health and your
moral health, you have to letthem go.
(53:43):
And again, it's gonna be hard,it's gonna be difficult, but
it's for your own good, it's notfor their good, it's for you.
You have to be the one to behealthy.
You're the one who had to liveon your morals.
You don't want to be ten toesdown and believe and stand firm.
If that person ain't that, youain't got a customer I got do
anything I lead, just leave.
T (54:03):
Okay, say they just leave, because Like I mean a blur to
dole out like that.
But don't kind of wait forrelationships.
But if your relationship doesChallenge you know you're, your
morals, that's one thing.
But if you're within a marriageand you feel like you know it's
(54:26):
just not going your way or yourmorals are being challenged,
you have to consider whatliterally bought you there from
the first place.
And you got it.
You know I'm gonna do the work.
You got to be still, or youknow you got them.
Yeah, take your time when youmove, because Hasty movements
don't get us anywhere either.
Right?
No that's part of morals also,is you know the time that you
(54:51):
sit with things right?
We're probably talking to thinkbefore we talk, right, and so
you want to think before you putsome things into action.
But no one should be unhappy.
But you also want to be mindfulthat Moving Around isn't
(55:12):
necessarily that thing that'sgonna make you happy, right?
Sometimes miss some things whenchoosing your mate and if you
move too quick, you don't havetime enough to reflect and what
it is that made you choose thatmate or perhaps made you stay in
that relationship so where youdidn't feel the respect that you
needed, or perhaps make choicesthat perhaps you didn't want to
(55:35):
make, or made you Compromisepieces of your spiritual self or
just any piece of yourself.
So you got to sit back andthink about those things.
But, but indeed, you know,don't not move accordingly.
M (55:51):
Yeah, I swear you.
You, you can always encapsulatean entire beating, the entire
concept Contire podcast.
Just like, all of a sudden,this is like Hmm, how do you,
how do we wrap this up?
And you just like prove boom asinto a nice ball with a little
ball on it, and I swear it.
(56:13):
This is one of thoseconversations that it had to be
had, because we're seeing moraldecay, morality decaying,
morality formed by the waysideand when that happens, we no
longer become a functioningsociety.
He's become a Society ofanarchists and you got to have
(56:34):
rules.
You have to live by certainrules.
Everybody should have a certainrule that you live by, certain
things that you just gonna stand10th toes deep in yeah and
being Morally, having a moralcompass, is the key.
You got to have more compassbecause you don't have that, you
will do anything and, as we seein society in general, people
(56:55):
do anything.
So, it's important to instillin our kids.
We asked you have to instill inyour kids and you have to be
the one because, again, as Tsaid before, if you do not
personally install in their kid,somebody else's moral compass
will be installed in that kidand you probably won't like how
(57:16):
that ends up for you.
You won't.
T (57:19):
But I mean it could be your grandma, your kid, out there
acting old now.
Yeah.
M (57:25):
Yeah, you absolutely got there right and that can very
well happen to happens all thetime now.
So again, people Again, justget your moral compass straight
before you go out there and gofor anything where there's jobs,
relationships, personal growth,anything.
Just get that straight and thenmake sure your kids yeah, but
keep it straight.
T (57:46):
Once you got it straight, keep it straight, don't let
anyone else challenge it.
I.
M (57:50):
Can't say no more, and with that one I'm gonna end this
episode on the mic with the MAuntie listen y'all Subscribe
button.
Like the channel a little bellso you can get the next podcast
coming out.
Until then, people stay safe.
And these and blesses to you,you, you, you, you, you or you,
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(58:11):
you, you, swinging you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you
hear me.
You know you call me when Ihear you.
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