March 5, 2025 • 63 mins
What happens when a devastating diagnosis becomes a pivotal turning point in someone's life? In this episode, we explore the remarkable journey of Heather Krueger, who transformed adversity into her calling. Diagnosed with stage four liver disease just before her 25th birthday, Heather's strong faith and determination led her down a path where she was able to receive a living donation of a liver. However, Heather's story didn't end there. Her living donation ended up turning into a love story; a story that was picked up by Hallmark. Heather Krueger's story was behind the movie "Once Upon a Christmas Miracle."
However, unlike the love and glamour shown on screen, behind the scenes was a complete paradox. Heather's love story was on the rails at the time of the filming that ended in a subsequent divorce. Heather takes us, not only on an emotionally touching path, but also a path that will leave everyone feeling inspired, hope, encouraged, ambitious, and determined. Heather Krueger shows us that when life tries to knock you down, it is so important to get up on your feet and keep on fighting the good fight. After all, it is consistency and persistence that wins at the end. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss future inspiring conversations!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode of On
the Spectrum with Sonia, wherewe discuss autism spectrum
mental health challenges andhighlight any inspirational
stories where people have had toovercome any adversity and will
leave people feeling loved,encouraged, connected and filled
with hope, especially in aworld that tries to disconnect
(00:25):
us on a daily.
Now, for all of you who areHallmark lovers today, you are
going to be thrilled with thisepisode because today we have
Heather Kruger on our show.
Heather Kruger is the on ourshow.
Heather Kruger is theinspiration behind Once Upon a
(00:47):
Christmas Tale, christmasMiracle, once Upon a Christmas
Miracle, and it is she's anabsolute inspiration in and of
itself.
Her story has been also, apartfrom Hallmark, has been featured
on various magazines and newsoutlets.
(01:07):
It's been on the ABC News Todayshow, bbc News.
She's been on the Steve Harveyshow, featured on the Steve
Harvey show on CBS News.
She also, in terms ofpublications, her story has been
featured on Self, women'sHealth, cosmopolitan Reader's
Digest, to name a few.
(01:27):
So, without further ado, I wantto say welcome, heather.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Thank you for having me.
How are you?
I am great.
So I have to ask you.
People absolutely love Hallmark, okay, especially around
(01:51):
Christmas and especially aroundwatching the Christmas movies
that come out of Hallmark, whatwas it like for you to have them
make a movie based off yourstory, to have them?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
make a movie based off your story.
So it was absolutely surrealwhen I saw Hallmark Channel pop
up on my phone calling me.
I thought it was a joke.
I did not think that was forreal.
And they asked me based on likeyou said, you know me being in
(02:26):
the media my story getting somuch, so much attraction, with
it being a living donation.
So this was almost 10 years ago.
So at that time living donationwasn't as a not popular that's
not the right word but a commonthing.
So it got a lot of traction,like I said.
So them calling me and wantingto make my story into a Hallmark
(03:07):
movie.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
it really just like you, your upbringing because,
for those who don't know so,once Upon a Christmas Miracle
was based off of Heather's storyof receiving a liver transplant
, and Heather was only 25 yearsold when she received a stage
four liver disease diagnosiswhere the only option for your
(03:35):
childhood, your upbringing, liketell us a little bit about you,
know life beforehand.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Sure.
So pretty normal childhood.
I did soccer, I was in dance, Idid cheerleading, from about
fifth grade through my sophomoreyear of high school, fairly
healthy.
Both my parents of high school,fairly healthy.
Both my parents, you know, verysupportive.
I had one younger sister, threeyears younger than me.
(04:12):
She was in basketball varsityall four years, you know, no
real health issues.
So leading up to this diagnosis,it was very shocking because I
was going to college, I wantedto be a nurse, I was in nursing
school for a year I was workingas a nursing assistant at a
(04:36):
senior living facility and forabout a year before my diagnosis
the only symptoms I really hadwere fatigue and pain in the
upper right quadrant of mystomach.
So I thought, oh, maybe it's mygallbladder, maybe it's a hernia
from lifting people, movingpeople.
You know I'm only barely fivefeet tall.
(04:57):
So I thought maybe that was,you know, something going on
with that, because you knowsomething going on with that.
So also, when I was going to myprimary care doctor and other
specialists, you know they didCAT scans, they did ultrasounds,
they did blood work andeverything kept coming back
normal.
They said your gallbladdermight be a little sluggish, but
(05:20):
other than that, like everythinglooks fine and I'm like
something isn't right, somethinglike you know, you know your
own body and I'm like not todeny the doctors, but like
something is not right.
And when I did finally getdiagnosed, like you said it was,
it was stage four non-alcoholicfatty liver disease, two weeks
(05:43):
before my 25th birthdayalcoholic fatty liver disease
two weeks before my 25thbirthday.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And how did that diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
finally come to light , Like what had happened.
I kept ending up in the ER witha lot of pain.
At that point it startedbecoming more intense, so they
decided to do a liver biopsy.
Through the liver biopsy theycould determine what stage it
was, what caused it, those typesof things.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And so they did the liver biopsy based on where they
saw you having pain, where theywere at one point where your
pain was Okay, yes, and so itwas two weeks, so you're turning
25.
You got the Okay yes, and so itwas two weeks, so you were
turning 25.
You got the diagnosis yes.
What was going in your head atthat time then, like, what were
(06:35):
the thoughts going on?
What were they saying, like,what was happening for you in
terms of that?
Like in terms of?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
you that Like in terms of you?
So for me.
I actually got the phone callabout the diagnosis.
The doctor told me over thephone that I was in stage four
acute liver failure and thatthis was on a Sunday.
She called me and that I had tocome into the ER that Monday
(07:03):
morning and she told me that shedidn't think I was going to
make it another three months.
This was over the phone.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh my gosh, yeah, I can.
Shocking and devastating andjust like the amount of like
fear and like terror must havebeen.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It was.
It was, um, I think it wasshock and I think it was like my
reaction to her calling me withthis news.
I think my response was shockand also a bit of being younger
and that feeling like you'reinvincible and also, at the time
(07:58):
, like to be honest, the peoplethat I was hanging out with
weren't the best crowd.
They were a little hard, and sowhen she told me this news, I
laughed.
I laughed at her and I said areyou serious?
And she's like Heather, I'm notjoking, listen to me, I don't
think you're going to make itanother three months.
(08:19):
And I had to get off the phoneand then tell my parents, who
were standing there, this news.
So it was a moment I'll neverforget.
You know like your life flashesbefore you and you think you
know you're barely 25 years old,you're in nursing school,
(08:40):
you're doing the right things,you're just living a normal life
.
You never think that somethinglike this could happen to you,
especially when you never hadany prior health issues.
You're a social drinker, butyou're not.
You're not abusing anything youknow like.
So it was unreal.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh my gosh, I can only imagine what that.
You know what that was like.
So tell me about like yourparents reaction.
Like you know, you said thatthe people you were hanging
around with were hard at thetime.
So, like, what were people'sreactions when you had shared
with them your story, that that,that um, or that news, rather,
(09:25):
that you just got?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Um, my parents, surprisingly like um, I always
say that mindset is the biggestthing.
And even though I got that newsand maybe I was a little
delusional or feeling invincibleor because of the people I was
hanging around with maybe I wasa little delusional or feeling
invincible or because of thepeople I was hanging around with
, like, hardened a bit, at thatpoint in my life I never
(09:52):
believed that I was going to die.
I never believed the doctorsand the statistics you know the
chances of me getting atransplant and my parents also.
They never planned any you knowend of life type of care or
talked about if somethinghappens to you or if this or if
(10:16):
that it was like no, in a matterof time you will get a
transplant, like there was justnever any talk of death.
Basically, um, they were myparents and my grandparents were
my source of um, strength andfaith through the whole process.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And um, so it seems like you know when you got that
news.
Uh, you know, you, you were,you already had like a lot of
that determination and ambitionof this is not the end.
This is not going to be thestory.
This is not how it's going toend yeah so, and I know you said
your parents and yourgrandparents stood behind you
(11:02):
and they were in.
They were standing in that lineof vision with you that this is
not good, this is not howyou're going to leave this world
.
Yes, yes.
And so what were, like, whatwas the process afterwards,
after the diagnosis of the stagefor acute liver failure?
Like what was the next thing?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Sure.
So after I was diagnosed,within a week's time I was put
onto the Illinois transplantwait list and I was in and out
of the hospital over those nextseveral months multiple times.
I had my gallbladder removed.
A month later I had mygallbladder removed.
(11:44):
A month later I washallucinating, which I did not
know.
That was a part of liverdisease.
When your ammonia levels gettoo high in the body because you
can't detox, it goes to yourbrain and you start
hallucinating.
So that was another struggle.
But within those few months thedoctors told me you should start
(12:06):
looking for a living donor Ontop of being on a wait list.
If someone passes away becausethis disease, they said you
should start looking for aliving donor.
I didn't even know that youcould donate a portion of your
liver, so that was something Ilearned in the process.
(12:27):
So my sister, multiple cousinsgot tested through blood work
but they wanted someone actuallyolder than me because they also
look at the psychologicaleffect of this process.
So even though my sister was ablood match, they said okay, if
(12:52):
you're to go under anesthesia,your sister is and she donates
to you and, god forbid,something happens, you still
pass away.
What is this going to do to her.
Something happens, you stillpass away.
What is this going to do to her?
So they wanted someone older,someone a little a bit more
distance from the family in thisprocess.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Okay, yeah, so they wanted someone older.
They wanted so that because ofthat whole psychological effect,
you know they wanted somebodywho'd probably understand the
risk, yes, of it better as well,right that, on the receipt, on
the giving end as well, right,receiving, and both understand
that there is risk.
(13:35):
Like in any surgery, there'srisk, but especially when you're
getting a transplant right,there's a different level of
risk involved, right, right.
And so there was at the timethat you were in in on the list
waiting to get a transplant.
You said that there was about119,000 people on the list.
(13:59):
How many months were you onthat list before you got a
proper match?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So I was diagnosed March of 2014, put on the wait
list in June, three months later, when I went into acute liver
failure and I heard about apossible match end of January in
2015.
So nine plus months later, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
And uh, what was it like for you then when you've
got the news about that possiblematch?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
When I got the phone call from the living donor, it
was surreal and I was extremelygrateful, but at the same time I
felt a little apprehensive,like until the day that it
(15:03):
happens.
A little apprehensive, likeuntil the day that it happens,
I'll believe it, type of thing.
Because, you know, I, I knewthe circumstances.
He was volunteering to do thisfor me and he had the rights to
back out of that at any point.
This was, you know, he.
You were taking a perfectlyhealthy man to, now taking 55%
(15:26):
of his liver.
So I was extremely grateful.
I kept praying that everythingwould work out how you know, how
it was supposed to.
But until the day that ithappened, you know, I was a
little little worried.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah and yeah, and chris, he was working as a code
enforcement officer out infrankfurt.
Yes, yes and so, um, he calledyou for the for for the donating
55% of his liver.
Yes, and when was the operationthen?
(16:09):
When did the liver transplantsurgery happen then?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
So it happened a week to the day before my 26th
birthday.
It was March 16th 2015.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And, and you know, just talk about what a
difference you know, believingand being determined and just
keeping the faith has.
Because that you know, rewind,one year before you were getting
the news that you weren't goingto make it another three months
you were.
(16:42):
You know this was the end foryou.
Now, fast forward a year, abouta year now you are, you know,
about to get this transplantsurgery.
You know you, you know you keptgoing.
You know you kept alive.
I mean, you know, contrary towhat they said would happen to
(17:03):
you past three months, you keptalive.
You are now undergoing thesurgery.
So what was it like for youthen at that point?
You know you got the phone call.
It was right before your 26thbirthday, and what a birthday
present, in a way.
Right yeah, what was goingthrough your head at that time?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
So as far as the birthday present, it's funny you
bring that up, because that'sall I kept saying to myself All
I want for my birthday is aliver transplant.
All I want for my birthday is amatch Someone, please.
And it was almost like thismanifestation and I didn't even
know at the time that I wasmanifesting this and rewind,
(17:45):
like you said, a year before,when I got the diagnosis, then
was put on the list and then wastold oh, you need a living
donor, which the odds of thatwere even worse than someone
passing away and being a match.
10 years ago, a living donormatch for a liver was about 2% a
living donor match for a liverwas about 2%.
(18:06):
So you know, even now I lookback and it's hard for me to
understand how strong I wasdespite those odds.
But I feel if my mind wasn'tstrong and I didn't have the
support system that I had, andalso is my health deteriorated
(18:33):
and you know, at night I wouldtry to get up out of bed and I
would fall.
And you know just all thecomplications, the
hallucinations.
When I would look at my parentsand my sister and see their
faces with the result of thosenights or the continued bad
(18:55):
blood tests and results from thedoctors, I would see their hope
and their spirit decline and Iknew that if something happened
to me it would destroy them,like it would destroy them.
(19:18):
So it got to a point where, asmuch as like I was struggling,
it didn't matter because Iwasn't fighting for me, I was
fighting for my family.
I knew I could not leave them.
Something bigger than yourselfyou can surpass, like any
(19:51):
obstacles that maybe in the pastyou would never think you could
do, you were capable of.
Like your potential is way morethan you even realize.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And that's a very powerful lesson you know in and
of itself, to learn that.
You know the power of yourmindset, the power of looking at
something bigger than yourself,and you know making it not in
like when you were in the depthsof the hardships of the health
(20:26):
issues you were going throughand seeing their hope start to
glimmer and allowing that,instead of making you spiral, it
seemed like you you put.
You did a good job of lettingthat ignite fire in you to be
like no, I'm going to keepfighting, I'm going to keep
pushing, I'm going to.
You know this is going tohappen for me.
(20:49):
I am going to get thetransplant I need.
I am going to live a full life.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yes, and you know it's.
It's so powerful to hear thattestimony in and of itself.
Thank you, those to show thepower of manifestation and the
power of just believing, youknow.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
And another thing I did, which I never did in the
past, was I started to journalnot like my thoughts or anything
at the time, which I probablyshould have done, I just didn't
think of it but I started tolook up, like on Pinterest and
Google, like warrior, fighter,survivor type of quotes and
(21:35):
different biblical scripturesand verses, and I would write
these down and on days that Iwas really struggling you know,
mentally, emotionally,physically, spiritually,
whatever the case I would readthese over and over and over and
it would give me this boostthat like, okay, you're going to
(21:57):
be okay, you're going to befine, you can do this.
It was just a matter of gettingto the next day.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yes, and were there any particular quotes or any
particular Bible verses thatreally saying to you that you
still hold near and dear to yourheart to this present day?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I would say.
A Bible verse for me would beum no, no weapon formed against
me shall prosper, and kind of auh, not a funny quote, but
something that my grandfatheralways liked and would ask to
hear from me and he passed awayalmost three years ago was oh my
(22:47):
gosh, what was it?
It was God thinks, or no, hangon, let me think of it, it was.
I want to say it correctly.
God doesn't give us more thanmore than we can handle.
Apparently, god thinks I'm abadass.
More than we can handleApparently.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
God thinks I'm a badass and I like that one a lot
.
I like both of them.
No weapons formed against meshall prosper.
And the other one you said youknow about God not giving you
more than you can handleApparently.
God thinks you're badass.
I love it.
That's fabulous.
Oh my God, I love it.
That's fabulous.
Oh my God, I um, you know, andit's so.
(23:27):
It's always so nice to likehave those things that you can
actually use to you know, as youknow, just guiding posts to you
know, it's always good to beable to have, like that, you
know, inspiration and have thathumor.
I mean you can't ask for better.
So when you go into yoursurgery, come out, you ended up
(23:50):
actually getting married to thedonor.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I did I did Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So how so was it that after the surgery you both
ended up starting to date Like,did that just kind of evolve?
Like how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
So we actually met in person before the about a month
before the transplant, and thenour families met and also
before the transplant, we had adinner before and then it was,
you know, after the surgery.
We were healing together.
We were starting to, you know,go on walks, do different things
(24:28):
, trying to get back to a normallife.
And that's where the bondstarted and also this feeling of
, I mean, this man saved my life.
You know, he voluntarily puthimself into surgery to save my
(24:49):
life.
Uh, so someone doing that, um,I felt like, wow, what else
would he add to my life?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
you know, I mean mean this sense of value and so,
after the surgery had happened,now you met in person before
your families had met, beforeyour family met him before.
Rather, um, you, you stayed intouch and then, um, like, how
(25:22):
long, like, did you guys datebefore the marriage?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh, not long.
Okay Was, let's see.
Surgery was in March.
We got married in October ofthe following year, so a year
and a half Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Okay, and then?
So how did everything thenstart to pick up?
You know, and you know, you gotmarried a year, year and a half
, after dating.
How did everything else thenstart to pick up with in terms
of being out in media andleading it to?
You know, you've been publishedon many different magazine
(26:08):
articles, you've been featuredin different news segments, and
you know very prominent ones aswell.
How did everything kind ofstart to catapult?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
everything kind of start to catapult.
So actually prior to even thetransplant, the local news got
ahold of it.
You know, frankfurt, mokena,the towns in my area they were
being, it was, the story wasbeing published in the newspaper
and I remember being in the ICUstill after my surgery and ABC
seven news wanting to come tointerview me and I'm like can we
(26:47):
hold off a little bit?
I'm very bloated and swollenand you know, 12 hour surgery
not really up for right now.
So really, after we got out ofthe ICU, got home, after we got
out of the ICU, got home, thenews exploded.
(27:09):
I could never have imagined mystory, especially like, because
other people have transplants,have gone through this stuff.
But I think the fact that itwas someone local that I didn't
know prior donated to me,someone local that I didn't know
prior donated to me and thenonce the news got out that we
were dating, um, it reallyexploded.
(27:30):
Like you said, we were on, um,steve Harvey, and he, uh, we
were engaged at that point andhe surprised us with, uh, our
honeymoon and it just it reallycatapulted from there and as
(27:50):
much as it was like this.
You know it looked great.
I was struggling a bit with itbecause I felt like all these
other people have hadtransplants before.
Why don't?
Why aren't they getting thisattention?
Why?
You know?
There's nothing special aboutme, maybe a bit of imposter
(28:11):
syndrome going on to turn itinto instead of like, not why me
, but um, I wanted to educatepeople.
(28:31):
I wanted to educate them onorgan donation and living
donation and the power of like,of hope, of resilience, of, uh,
never giving up no matter whatsomebody tells you.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Sure, From there.
Really, it seems like they,like you, found purpose.
You know, too.
You know when you startedgetting all.
You know when things startedblowing up for you in terms of
publicity.
You know about your story andwhat you had to undergo, because
here's the thing, though,heather, as much as you may have
(29:04):
felt like it.
Here's the thing, though,heather, as much as you may have
felt like it was impostersyndrome, like why me and other
people also had this too.
You know, I also.
You know, think, you know it'sa very powerful thing that you
had to undergo, right, and atthe end of the day, it doesn't
matter how you slice it rightthat this is a powerful event
(29:25):
that you had to undergo.
Being a young, just I mean, Ican only imagine what it must've
been like being a young 25 yearold, about to be 20, turning 25
, two weeks out of your ownbirthday, 25th birthday and
being told okay, you arebasically on death row, pretty
much Right, you are basically ondeath row pretty much right now
(29:46):
.
You know having to wait a yearlater for your next birthday,
and you had to pray all thattime and really put the result.
You know, keep up the faith,even though things are difficult
, even though you were facinghallucinations, even though you
had to keep going to thehospital and you really still
keeping up the faith and keepinghope for the next better day to
come.
Right, that in get in receiving, you know, that gift of getting
(30:11):
a donation, a living donation.
You know, and given the age youwere in, I can only imagine
like I don't think, most peoplecan even begin to comprehend
that Right and begin tocomprehend that Right.
And so you know, and I thinktoo you know, when you say you
were given purpose in your lifewith this donation right, that
(30:32):
he was giving you like he waslike a blessing in some way,
right, by giving more than halfof his liver to you and you're
getting that second chance atlife.
Did you, do you realize now,like the purpose that you had
(30:53):
given with all this?
You know, did the media and allthis um, or everything that
started to happen post-surgery,did it help you understand your
purpose better?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So that's an amazing question because for a long time
longer than I'd like to admitit took me a very long time to
realize that I knew that I washere for a reason.
I knew that, you know, in myfaith, god saved me.
(31:27):
For a reason I was given thissecond chance.
All these people that are onthe wait list and pass away or,
you know, don't get a transplantin time.
I knew that there was somethingyou know in me, that I was
(31:52):
still here.
But it took me a long time tocome to the realization that,
you know, my life didn't turnout the way I had envisioned.
No, I feel like, as, as as awoman especially I mean men too,
they visualize things but, likeas a woman, you think, okay,
you're going to go to college,you're going to meet someone,
you're going to get married,you're going to have kids, you
(32:14):
know kind of the stereotypicalvision, and none of that went as
planned.
So, to answer your question, Irealize now and accept that I
wouldn't change anything thathappened to me.
It made me into the person I amtoday and it created what my
(32:41):
life purpose is.
For a long time I was strugglingwith well, what am I going to
do with my life.
Okay, you know I was going tobe a nurse, but I had to quit
nursing school After mytransplant.
I went back to school andbecame an occupational therapy
assistant.
I lost my job in 2020 because Iwas the newest hire and I
(33:03):
didn't feel, even though I gotthat degree and I was working in
that field, I didn't feelfulfilled.
I still felt like I'm meant togive more to people and so then
I'm you know you're, I'm lookingon different job sites and you
know what I'm qualified to do,and oh no, I'm not.
(33:24):
I don't have this experience.
I don't have this experienceand I came to the realization.
I'm looking to the outside formy validation in my purpose in
life and my purpose is me.
It is my story, it is what Iwent through story.
It is what I went through and,as hard or as difficult as that
(33:45):
is, it is going to bring so muchmeaning and hope and
inspiration, motivation to otherpeople when they are struggling
, and that's, I feel, everythingI went through.
It's worth it.
(34:05):
I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
And what a powerful testimony right here too, you
know, if you know having, youknow being able to use the pain
you've been through, thechallenges you've been through,
and turn that into a message forothers, not only is it
(34:33):
cathartic for you, but itprovides wonders for other
people as well to take bettercare of themselves and to give
them hope when they're feelingstuck or in the rut or down in
the dumps about something.
And we're and it's interestingthat you talk about you know
(34:55):
that path that you thought youwere going to have, because I
feel like a lot of times, right,we're all inundated with that
message of okay, you finish highschool, you go to college.
Okay, after you're done withcollege, maybe you'll go to grad
school, maybe you'll go to medschool, whatever it is that you
do after, but by a certain ageyou're going to be married and
(35:16):
then, by a certain age, you'regoing to have your first kid and
your second kid or whateverelse may be Right.
Life doesn't work out like thatfor everybody, right, and most
often than not, you know whenyou're not on the beaten path.
That is where the most powerfultestimony of you and your
(35:40):
purpose and your place in lifecomes out, and I'm a firm
believer in that.
I'm a firm believer that it'snot always the it's not the
beaten path that wins.
All the time it is the onethat's least taken by.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You know, and I feel that you, you know, with your
journey and the path that lifethrew at you and the path that
you embraced, you were able tocome with a beautiful story.
Thank you and appreciate that.
Oh, of course.
(36:19):
And you know now, on a personalfront now, you were married for
about three years Three years,yep, and Hallmark had reached
out to you During the time inyour marriage where things were
(36:40):
getting rocky, correct?
Yeah, absolutely, were gettingrocky, correct?
Yeah, absolutely Okay.
So tell us a little bit nowabout that phone call.
Like when Hallmark called younow I know you've mentioned
earlier you thought, oh my God,am I dreaming?
Is this a joke?
Like, what kind of prank?
Is this Like right?
When you talk, like, tell me alittle bit about that process.
Then to Hallmark reached out toyou, tell me more.
(37:03):
What was going on?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Sure, so Hallmark reached out to you tell me more
what was going on, sure?
So hallmark reached out andthey wanted to.
They asked to make our storyour transplant story into a
hallmark christmas movie and,like we had talked previously,
hallmark stories are very likepredictable.
(37:23):
You know, small girl moves tobig city, vice versa, you know,
um.
So I was very honored to beasked about this and shocked,
but I also said like do I haverights to kind of help with the
writing of the script, because Iknow you have to hallmark it up
(37:47):
and make it cutesy, but I wantit if I can, I want it as close
to the story as possible.
Okay, so that was kind of inthe agreement before we signed
the contract, that I wanted thatas close to the real deal.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Okay, and what was it like for you then to like now,
were you able to go and um,watch them, film and everything,
and pick the cast and um.
Were you there for some of thelike the background, and were
you there for some of the likethe?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
background so I wasn't able to pick the cast,
but we were flown out to Canadafor three days when they filmed
(38:46):
so I was able to meet AmyTeagarden, who played me, and
the person who played Chris,people who played my parents, my
sister.
It was kind of crazy watchingit being filmed.
They kept our real names, sothey kept Heather, Ashley, Chris
, Bill, Kathy, my parents, youknow.
So it was.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
it was beyond surreal hearing these names and
watching someone else playing mylife and I bet that must have
been a really like um, liketouching uh moment to see people
(39:18):
take on your story, embrace it,have you know, keep your names,
um, and not change it, becausethere's a lot of times they will
change even the charactersnames.
But, yeah, they kept your namesand they kept you know, they
kept it close as possible sothey could, you know, and I know
, like, of course, like, goingto your point, they probably had
(39:39):
to, you know, change certainthings and spice up our hallmark
right to right of the hallmarkright it really um to me, like
sitting on the sidelines, in away, watching it being filmed,
with all the cameras and theprops and the setups.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Um, and around christmas time as well, you know
made it even more special.
It really amplified to me theextent of which I didn't even
realize at the time the power inmy story and showing, like, not
just my story, but everyone hasa story, everyone has a story
(40:30):
and we can all, as much as you,as much as I felt so alone
during that time waiting for thetransplant, even though I
didn't, even though I knew Iwasn't alone, I had family I had
, I had the support.
It was still a very lonely timeand it just really like it was
almost like a aha moment to me,sitting on the sidelines
watching this being filmed that,no matter how big or small your
(40:51):
story or you think it is orwhat you're going through, the
impact of it, what the hope andlight that it can bring to
somebody else, is so powerful.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Absolutely, somebody else is so powerful.
Absolutely, at the time thatthe movie was being filmed.
You had mentioned before, whenwe had talked, that Hallmark was
showing a very peachy and rosyview of you and Chris's
(41:25):
relationship.
Yes, when in reality it was atthe time when you both started
going to couples counseling, yes, yes.
So what was it like to see thatdichotomy, you know, between
what they're showing you andportraying you on film to be,
and you and Chris to be, thishappy, lovey-dovey, gee, rosy
couple, whereas in reality youwere really at.
(41:47):
You were at that time when itwas just crumbling and you were
not really holding on.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, that that was difficult because it went from
you know when it first happenedto getting all these messages
from people, strangers, even indifferent countries, like
because of your story, becauseof you and Chris, like it's
given me hope, I'm going to keepholding on.
(42:16):
Or my sister is dealing withthis liver disease or something
else and she heard your story soshe's going to hold on to the
next day.
Like that gave as much as I wasgiving them purpose.
It was giving me a purpose and,in a sense, of why I went
through what I went through.
So then fast forward to themovie.
(42:40):
And it's a hallmark fairy taleand everyone thinks everything
is just lovey-dovey, like yousaid.
Um, it was not, and that wasvery difficult because we were
going through counseling for awhile at that point.
It didn't just start then.
(43:00):
We were both going throughindividual and couples
counseling for a while and wehad signed the contract for this
movie a while before it cameout.
So things continued todeteriorate and I felt like,
(43:20):
like I said earlier, I felt likea fraud, because you're coming
out with this movie Hallmarkfairy tale.
He saved your life and, oh mygosh, you got married and in
reality we're sleeping indifferent beds.
We're you know he's workingduring the day and I'm doing the
housework and we're avoidingeach other.
(43:42):
So I felt very as much aspeople were celebrating this
movie and this publicity.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I felt very guilty for coming across not how it was
in real life well, this issomething to be, I think,
expected sometimes, especiallylike in like channels like
hallmark, right, because when welook at it, right, we look at
the predictability, right, andmost the movie theme has been,
(44:17):
you know, two people meet, theyget together and then they end
up getting married or it's arekindled relationship from the
past, you know, during christmastime, right, and those kinds of
movies, the theme has alwaysbeen people ending up happy
together, right, and I feel likeit's not in, and I think it's
(44:39):
important to distinguish thefact that you know it's not like
you were trying tointentionally put that out there
, like, oh, everything's allgreat and we're, you know, happy
and lovey and dovey, you know,because truth is, this was made
for entertainment purposes aswell.
Right, there was thatentertainment component,
component of you know, yes, theygo to your story, the serious
(45:01):
part of it, but they also neededto kind of spice it up for,
like you said, hallmark, theyhad to kind of Hall it up.
For, like you said, hallmark,they had to kind of Hallmark it
right.
So, it's you know, so it's not ayou and most people would
understand right that it's youknow.
What happens in real life andwhat happens on screen are
(45:25):
completely different.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Absolutely.
And and what I kind of came torealize was this what I thought
was like this true love, this,you know, all these feelings for
him, it really was an extremesense of gratitude for what he
did for me.
He saved my life, and I feelthat I, you know, maybe maybe he
(46:00):
truly loved me.
I don't know.
I haven't spoken to him, youknow, post-divorce, about any of
this stuff, so his intentions,his love for me could have been
completely pure.
Mine, I feel, was a sense ofrealizing.
(46:20):
It was a sense of gratitude yousaved my life.
I thought I was going to die.
I, you know my odds.
I could feel my body shuttingdown, I was getting weaker.
You know all these things in.
You popped up and volunteeredto do this for me and at the
time I was like, oh my gosh, ifhe would, you know, go through
(46:41):
surgery and save my life, likewhat else would he not?
What else would he do for me?
But, like he has to be, there'ssomething in him that he has to
be this great partner throughsurgery and save my life.
Like what else would he not?
What else would he do for me?
But, like he has to be, there'ssomething in him that he has to
be this great partner, right?
So?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
yeah, and a lot of times it's easy to get confused,
right, with somebody doingsomething for you and which he
had done for you in a major way,and then confusing it with,
like, like there's that sense of, okay, obligation and love that
sometimes gets torped.
(47:15):
Yes, you know, and truth of thematter is it's okay to be
grateful to somebody for whatthey've done for you, but that
doesn't necessarily mean, right,that you love them in such a
way that you know it's going toend up in a different kind of
relationship, right, you canstill love somebody and have a
(47:38):
sense of gratitude for a person,right.
And I think a lot of times weyou know people get that
mistaken.
You know, a lot of times ourbrain confuses us with that, and
you know, and I'm sure you know, and it must've been also a
very painful lesson to have tohave learned, for you too- no,
(47:58):
absolutely, and I think it was.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
it was hard because, um, my relationships and
boyfriends in the past weren'tthe greatest.
I tended to go for the bad boy,the you know not what my
parents would like.
So then, having someone whosaved my life and my parents
(48:24):
love them and praising them andwant them around and want to go
to dinner with them, when Inever had that in the past, that
really, and also the media,that constant, like confirmation
that this is a wonderful thing.
(48:46):
In a young brain also that justwent through a medical trauma,
I wasn't able to dissect likewhat my true feelings were and
what was just gratitude.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
And that's also makes it complicated.
You know, for us to realize,like, what a good relationship
is and what's that's also makesit complicated.
You know for for us to realize,like, what a good relationship
is and what's not.
And I can completely empathizewith going for the wrong people.
You know, I've been theremyself and you know, and it's
always you know, what it is.
It's easy to fall for thecharmers.
It's easy to fall for guys that, like, pretend you know to be
(49:27):
all these great things whenthey're not.
And I noticed I've fallen.
You know, some of the people Ifell for in my past were and I
write about it in my book too inthat they, um, you know, they
pretend to be like, really sweetand very charming and they're
very smart and they're very goodlooking.
But, yes, but they're just.
(49:47):
But when it came time, it'slike and this is one thing that
had crushed me before is okay,well, you've acted a certain way
.
Now why don't you want me to beyour girlfriend, right, like?
And so I get, I mean, Iunderstand that.
You know, finding, I thinkfinding love is difficult, you
know.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
And absolutely it's.
You know, I always say like,just be honest with me, like I
feel, like it's very hard, Ifeel like so many people wear a
mask today.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
You know, and it's like, even though you tell
people, I tell people straightup.
You know, man, maybe I'minterested in I would rather you
hurt me with the truth anddeceive me with a lie and it
come out later.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
A hundred percent.
I'd rather be told right awayhey, I'm not really feeling this
, or I'll just look at you as afriend.
Yeah, I'd be happy with that.
I'd be like, okay, fine, thankyou for letting me know.
You know, I mean, I'd ratherhave that than be let on and
only to get dissed or two-timedor find out, you know, I thought
I was in this great littlerelationship and the guys with
(51:03):
other women behind my back,right?
Speaker 2 (51:05):
so yes, like I don't want to be deceived.
Like as, as harsh as it sounds,I'm like be blunt with me, say
say this, say that, because Idon't want to deal with the hurt
later on.
Like, just be straight up withme.
And it's very hard for peopleto be straight up and to take
that mask off.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Well.
Hence, you get a lot ofghosting nowadays.
Yeah, people don't want to behonest, you know they won't be
like, okay, I'm not reallyfeeling this.
They don't want to actually,and I think a lot of people
because they're so afraid ofconfrontation.
True, you know they just ghost,but, yes, you know, and it's so
(51:49):
hard, but, yeah, you know whatI feel like.
Sometimes, though, too, you knowthere's a blessing.
I believe this.
You know there's a blessing inbeing single, and it took me
forever to learn this, because,you know, I grew up in a culture
where it's all about.
You know, they celebratemarriage, and one of the most
important things especially agirl can do is get married and
have a kid or whatever else, butI never wanted kids.
That's one thing I knew aboutmyself.
And number two, honestly, likethere's so much of a blessing
(52:14):
that comes from being single,and you know, even when we look
at your story here now, heather,you know what.
Just think about all the greatwork you're doing right now,
right, and think about the factthat you are continuing to get
your story out there.
Are there any exciting projectsyou're working on now that you
could share with us?
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Yeah, so no, I'll get to that.
That's a great point, because Ihave said to my parents just
recently I'm like you know asmuch, as sometimes it's lonely
and I wish I had someone that Icould maybe go to dinner with or
watch a movie with or whatever.
I'm like.
I know that it's not happeningfor me right now, even though
I've met different men or haddifferent relationships.
(52:55):
It's not happening for me rightnow because I have this greater
purpose and that's what I needto focus on, and anything else
is going to distract me.
But to your question so rightnow I am working on becoming a
keynote speaker.
I've had some speeches that Ihave gone to been the keynote
(53:19):
speaker for.
I'm working on.
My ultimate goal is to be aglobal keynote speaker.
I would love to travel, even toother countries, and I find it
so fascinating to learn othercultures and traditions and how
(53:41):
my story could have a greaterimpact, to give someone hope to
hold on to the next day.
So that's currently what I'mworking on.
I'm also working on a book aswell about my story.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Oh, that is amazing and that book is going to
definitely help catapult youeven further into the keynote
speeches and stuff.
Do you have any upcoming likeplaces you're going to be
speaking in the near future forkeynote, or is that kind of
still in the works?
Speaker 2 (54:12):
It's kind of still in the works.
I've been right now it's mostlybeen in the Chicagoland area,
so the Northern suburbs,schaumburg, hoffman Estates,
arlington Heights, those typesof areas.
It's kind of still in the works.
I'm working on branding myself,creating an LLC.
(54:33):
I feel once I establish more ofwho I am, that is going to help
, like you said, catapult memore as well as the book.
You know, like you said,catapult me more as well as as
well as the book.
Right now I'm thinking aboutkind of my brand being the
survivor's edge the name.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
Oh, I love that.
I like the name of that.
I think it has like a good kindof like a vibe to it.
It has good energy, thesurvivor's edge.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
It's like like kind of groovy, you know kind ofovy,
you know, kind of yeah, yeah,yeah, thank you, thank you.
So that's what I'm thinkingright now um, not official, but
um just just excited aboutmoving forward with my life and
um helping other people.
Ultimately, like, I know howmuch I suffered and struggled
(55:27):
for way longer than I thought Iever would after the transplant
and it's almost embarrassing tosay that it took me this long.
So I want to prevent otherpeople from getting stuck in
that those emotions.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
Yeah Well, heather, you are an amazing and
inspirational woman.
I think that people who areblessed to come across you, I
mean, are just.
I mean it's just like it's suchan amazing experience, it's
such, you know, people will beblessed to come across you.
(56:06):
People who are People who havebeen blessed to come across you
are just blessed.
I don't know how else to justput it.
You know, and I think that youknow, your story is going to
help so many people.
Now, heather and I are going tobe at the same conference.
We're going to Creative Con.
Yes, we're going to creative conFebruary 21st is the kickoff
and I'll be doing my book launch.
(56:27):
That, um Heather will be, uh, aproud guest of.
Yes, I'm so happy for you, Iknow you.
I mean, I swear I was tryingnot to cry during this podcast
interview because I saw youtearing up and, believe me, I'm
trying not to cry on Friday.
So stay strong, stay strong.
(56:51):
But yes, heather will be there.
Heather, if people wanted toget in touch with you now,
obviously, guys, you can alwayscome out to the Intercontinental
Hotel if you're in theChicagoland area and come join
the Creative Con Conference,because tickets will be sold
that night.
Or if you're just coming outfor the book launch, that's cool
too, but cause she's also goingto be there, we're all just
(57:12):
going to be chilling Fridaynights a chill night, but but
you know, coming to theconference would be great.
Now, heather, wait, are youspeaking at that conference or
are you just kind of?
Are you doing?
Speaker 2 (57:22):
something I'm just attending.
I will be helping uh brianswift with his workshop.
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Great, but yes, yes, oh my gosh, brian swift, yes,
he's been on my show too.
So, for people who've beenlistening, yes, he has, you know
.
Um, so I mean, there are twoamazing people.
So I definitely will beattending that workshop.
Granted, it's if it's the timeschedule where you know things
line up.
But, yes, so, but we are.
(57:55):
Yes, but, heather, if we wantedto get in touch with you, apart
from attending the conference,where else can we find you?
People find you.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
Sure, I am on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn,
TikTok a little bit, butFacebook and Instagram are my
main places.
The Real Heather Kruger or youcan email me at HeatherKruger
K-R-U-E-G-E-R 23, at gmailcom ohmy goodness, heather, this has
(58:30):
been such an amazing episode.
Speaker 1 (58:31):
This has been such an amazing time we had together
here at this.
I love it.
I'm just super blessed to havehad you no, I'm blessed.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
I'm so grateful to have met you oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
So grateful to you too, and what is thank you?
And you're such an amazingperson too, and what would you
like to say for parting in likepieces of inspiration or advice,
like what is one thing youwould love to just share right
now with people who arelistening?
Sure?
Speaker 2 (59:00):
my one thing would be everything is temporary.
When you are struggling withsomething, I know at the time
whether it's a breakup, the lossof someone, the loss of a job,
even the loss of a pet, you knowlike something going on in your
life in the moment can feel sodetrimental and not to minimize
(59:25):
it, because it can be.
I mean, I'm not going to besugarcoated, but everything is
temporary and if you justrealize that life isn't
happening like at you not a,it's not a punishment, it is
(59:56):
everything in life is teaching alesson, whether we like it or
not, as hard as it is.
I would not have liked to havea transplant.
I would not have liked to havehad a divorce.
I would not have liked to hadto stop an adoption process that
I was going through.
You know, all those things Iwould not choose, but at the end
of the day it made me who I am.
Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
And.
Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
I feel, when people are going through something, you
just have to pause and breatheand realize this isn't forever
and you are going to come outstronger on the other end.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Thank you so much for sharing that and thank you for
that reminder and that you knowthings common, things go right
in terms of emotions, and thateverything is so fleeting Life
is fleeting in and of itself too.
Kind of reminds me of the movieJack.
Yes, you know, have you seenthat one with Robin Williams?
(01:00:59):
Yeah, remember the graduationspeech he gives at the end of
the movie.
He talks about life beingfleeting and he knew that he,
his time was limited, right, inthat movie he had some, um, he
had something, some conditionwhere it caused him to mature a
(01:01:20):
lot faster, right?
So, yeah, it just reminds, youknow, it just reminds me of
parts of that end of the speechwhere he talks about, you know,
looking up at the sky andremembering him, and you know he
talks about like somethingalong the lines of not, you know
, life being fleeting and timebeing limited, right and stuff.
And you know it just goes toshow like how, you know that and
(01:01:46):
even though things happen to usthat we may not like, right,
it's, it's for the greater good.
Ultimately, things work out inthe long run.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
They do, they do Absolutely, they do Absolutely.
And if you think about, like,put yourself in a position of,
if you were told you have threemonths to live, the things that
you're worrying about now, thethings that you're stressing
about, would they really matteror would you let that go, or
(01:02:15):
would you see the greater beautyin life itself?
Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Yes, so absolutely, you know Heather, this has been
such a pleasure.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you, please.
You know, let's give it up forHeather.
She is amazing, you know.
Definitely reach out to her.
Instagram, facebook, email herthe links will be in the show
(01:02:45):
notes and also remember acreative con you know this week
and at a continental hotelstarting Friday night book
launch.
Also, my book dropped in a mazeis now available for purchase
on Amazon and once again, thankyou all for tuning in.
(01:03:05):
Um, and once again, thank youall for tuning in.
And if you like this episodeand want to continue hearing
more amazing things out of here,please remember to rate, review
, subscribe and share with yourloved ones, your family, your
friends, colleagues, anybody youknow whom you think could use
(01:03:26):
doses of inspiration and wouldlove to hear conversations on
autism spectrum, mental healthor any inspirational stories.
Thank you,
Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode of On
the Spectrum with Sonia, wherewe discuss autism spectrum
mental health challenges andhighlight any inspirational
stories where people have had toovercome any adversity and will
leave people feeling loved,encouraged, connected and filled
with hope, especially in aworld that tries to disconnect
(00:25):
us on a daily.
Now, for all of you who areHallmark lovers today, you are
going to be thrilled with thisepisode because today we have
Heather Kruger on our show.
Heather Kruger is the on ourshow.
Heather Kruger is theinspiration behind Once Upon a
(00:47):
Christmas Tale, christmasMiracle, once Upon a Christmas
Miracle, and it is she's anabsolute inspiration in and of
itself.
Her story has been also, apartfrom Hallmark, has been featured
on various magazines and newsoutlets.
(01:07):
It's been on the ABC News Todayshow, bbc News.
She's been on the Steve Harveyshow, featured on the Steve
Harvey show on CBS News.
She also, in terms ofpublications, her story has been
featured on Self, women'sHealth, cosmopolitan Reader's
Digest, to name a few.
(01:27):
So, without further ado, I wantto say welcome, heather.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Thank you for having me.
How are you?
I am great.
So I have to ask you.
People absolutely love Hallmark, okay, especially around
(01:51):
Christmas and especially aroundwatching the Christmas movies
that come out of Hallmark, whatwas it like for you to have them
make a movie based off yourstory, to have them?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
make a movie based off your story.
So it was absolutely surrealwhen I saw Hallmark Channel pop
up on my phone calling me.
I thought it was a joke.
I did not think that was forreal.
And they asked me based on likeyou said, you know me being in
(02:26):
the media my story getting somuch, so much attraction, with
it being a living donation.
So this was almost 10 years ago.
So at that time living donationwasn't as a not popular that's
not the right word but a commonthing.
So it got a lot of traction,like I said.
So them calling me and wantingto make my story into a Hallmark
(03:07):
movie.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
it really just like you, your upbringing because,
for those who don't know so,once Upon a Christmas Miracle
was based off of Heather's storyof receiving a liver transplant
, and Heather was only 25 yearsold when she received a stage
four liver disease diagnosiswhere the only option for your
(03:35):
childhood, your upbringing, liketell us a little bit about you,
know life beforehand.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Sure.
So pretty normal childhood.
I did soccer, I was in dance, Idid cheerleading, from about
fifth grade through my sophomoreyear of high school, fairly
healthy.
Both my parents of high school,fairly healthy.
Both my parents, you know, verysupportive.
I had one younger sister, threeyears younger than me.
(04:12):
She was in basketball varsityall four years, you know, no
real health issues.
So leading up to this diagnosis,it was very shocking because I
was going to college, I wantedto be a nurse, I was in nursing
school for a year I was workingas a nursing assistant at a
(04:36):
senior living facility and forabout a year before my diagnosis
the only symptoms I really hadwere fatigue and pain in the
upper right quadrant of mystomach.
So I thought, oh, maybe it's mygallbladder, maybe it's a hernia
from lifting people, movingpeople.
You know I'm only barely fivefeet tall.
(04:57):
So I thought maybe that was,you know, something going on
with that, because you knowsomething going on with that.
So also, when I was going to myprimary care doctor and other
specialists, you know they didCAT scans, they did ultrasounds,
they did blood work andeverything kept coming back
normal.
They said your gallbladdermight be a little sluggish, but
(05:20):
other than that, like everythinglooks fine and I'm like
something isn't right, somethinglike you know, you know your
own body and I'm like not todeny the doctors, but like
something is not right.
And when I did finally getdiagnosed, like you said it was,
it was stage four non-alcoholicfatty liver disease, two weeks
(05:43):
before my 25th birthdayalcoholic fatty liver disease
two weeks before my 25thbirthday.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And how did that diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
finally come to light , Like what had happened.
I kept ending up in the ER witha lot of pain.
At that point it startedbecoming more intense, so they
decided to do a liver biopsy.
Through the liver biopsy theycould determine what stage it
was, what caused it, those typesof things.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And so they did the liver biopsy based on where they
saw you having pain, where theywere at one point where your
pain was Okay, yes, and so itwas two weeks, so you're turning
25.
You got the Okay yes, and so itwas two weeks, so you were
turning 25.
You got the diagnosis yes.
What was going in your head atthat time then, like, what were
(06:35):
the thoughts going on?
What were they saying, like,what was happening for you in
terms of that?
Like in terms of?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
you that Like in terms of you?
So for me.
I actually got the phone callabout the diagnosis.
The doctor told me over thephone that I was in stage four
acute liver failure and thatthis was on a Sunday.
She called me and that I had tocome into the ER that Monday
(07:03):
morning and she told me that shedidn't think I was going to
make it another three months.
This was over the phone.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh my gosh, yeah, I can.
Shocking and devastating andjust like the amount of like
fear and like terror must havebeen.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It was.
It was, um, I think it wasshock and I think it was like my
reaction to her calling me withthis news.
I think my response was shockand also a bit of being younger
and that feeling like you'reinvincible and also, at the time
(07:58):
, like to be honest, the peoplethat I was hanging out with
weren't the best crowd.
They were a little hard, and sowhen she told me this news, I
laughed.
I laughed at her and I said areyou serious?
And she's like Heather, I'm notjoking, listen to me, I don't
think you're going to make itanother three months.
(08:19):
And I had to get off the phoneand then tell my parents, who
were standing there, this news.
So it was a moment I'll neverforget.
You know like your life flashesbefore you and you think you
know you're barely 25 years old,you're in nursing school,
(08:40):
you're doing the right things,you're just living a normal life
.
You never think that somethinglike this could happen to you,
especially when you never hadany prior health issues.
You're a social drinker, butyou're not.
You're not abusing anything youknow like.
So it was unreal.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh my gosh, I can only imagine what that.
You know what that was like.
So tell me about like yourparents reaction.
Like you know, you said thatthe people you were hanging
around with were hard at thetime.
So, like, what were people'sreactions when you had shared
with them your story, that that,that um, or that news, rather,
(09:25):
that you just got?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Um, my parents, surprisingly like um, I always
say that mindset is the biggestthing.
And even though I got that newsand maybe I was a little
delusional or feeling invincibleor because of the people I was
hanging around with maybe I wasa little delusional or feeling
invincible or because of thepeople I was hanging around with
, like, hardened a bit, at thatpoint in my life I never
(09:52):
believed that I was going to die.
I never believed the doctorsand the statistics you know the
chances of me getting atransplant and my parents also.
They never planned any you knowend of life type of care or
talked about if somethinghappens to you or if this or if
(10:16):
that it was like no, in a matterof time you will get a
transplant, like there was justnever any talk of death.
Basically, um, they were myparents and my grandparents were
my source of um, strength andfaith through the whole process.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And um, so it seems like you know when you got that
news.
Uh, you know, you, you were,you already had like a lot of
that determination and ambitionof this is not the end.
This is not going to be thestory.
This is not how it's going toend yeah so, and I know you said
your parents and yourgrandparents stood behind you
(11:02):
and they were in.
They were standing in that lineof vision with you that this is
not good, this is not howyou're going to leave this world
.
Yes, yes.
And so what were, like, whatwas the process afterwards,
after the diagnosis of the stagefor acute liver failure?
Like what was the next thing?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Sure.
So after I was diagnosed,within a week's time I was put
onto the Illinois transplantwait list and I was in and out
of the hospital over those nextseveral months multiple times.
I had my gallbladder removed.
A month later I had mygallbladder removed.
(11:44):
A month later I washallucinating, which I did not
know.
That was a part of liverdisease.
When your ammonia levels gettoo high in the body because you
can't detox, it goes to yourbrain and you start
hallucinating.
So that was another struggle.
But within those few months thedoctors told me you should start
(12:06):
looking for a living donor Ontop of being on a wait list.
If someone passes away becausethis disease, they said you
should start looking for aliving donor.
I didn't even know that youcould donate a portion of your
liver, so that was something Ilearned in the process.
(12:27):
So my sister, multiple cousinsgot tested through blood work
but they wanted someone actuallyolder than me because they also
look at the psychologicaleffect of this process.
So even though my sister was ablood match, they said okay, if
(12:52):
you're to go under anesthesia,your sister is and she donates
to you and, god forbid,something happens, you still
pass away.
What is this going to do to her.
Something happens, you stillpass away.
What is this going to do to her?
So they wanted someone older,someone a little a bit more
distance from the family in thisprocess.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Okay, yeah, so they wanted someone older.
They wanted so that because ofthat whole psychological effect,
you know they wanted somebodywho'd probably understand the
risk, yes, of it better as well,right that, on the receipt, on
the giving end as well, right,receiving, and both understand
that there is risk.
(13:35):
Like in any surgery, there'srisk, but especially when you're
getting a transplant right,there's a different level of
risk involved, right, right.
And so there was at the timethat you were in in on the list
waiting to get a transplant.
You said that there was about119,000 people on the list.
(13:59):
How many months were you onthat list before you got a
proper match?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So I was diagnosed March of 2014, put on the wait
list in June, three months later, when I went into acute liver
failure and I heard about apossible match end of January in
2015.
So nine plus months later, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
And uh, what was it like for you then when you've
got the news about that possiblematch?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
When I got the phone call from the living donor, it
was surreal and I was extremelygrateful, but at the same time I
felt a little apprehensive,like until the day that it
(15:03):
happens.
A little apprehensive, likeuntil the day that it happens,
I'll believe it, type of thing.
Because, you know, I, I knewthe circumstances.
He was volunteering to do thisfor me and he had the rights to
back out of that at any point.
This was, you know, he.
You were taking a perfectlyhealthy man to, now taking 55%
(15:26):
of his liver.
So I was extremely grateful.
I kept praying that everythingwould work out how you know, how
it was supposed to.
But until the day that ithappened, you know, I was a
little little worried.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah and yeah, and chris, he was working as a code
enforcement officer out infrankfurt.
Yes, yes and so, um, he calledyou for the for for the donating
55% of his liver.
Yes, and when was the operationthen?
(16:09):
When did the liver transplantsurgery happen then?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
So it happened a week to the day before my 26th
birthday.
It was March 16th 2015.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And, and you know, just talk about what a
difference you know, believingand being determined and just
keeping the faith has.
Because that you know, rewind,one year before you were getting
the news that you weren't goingto make it another three months
you were.
(16:42):
You know this was the end foryou.
Now, fast forward a year, abouta year now you are, you know,
about to get this transplantsurgery.
You know you, you know you keptgoing.
You know you kept alive.
I mean, you know, contrary towhat they said would happen to
(17:03):
you past three months, you keptalive.
You are now undergoing thesurgery.
So what was it like for youthen at that point?
You know you got the phone call.
It was right before your 26thbirthday, and what a birthday
present, in a way.
Right yeah, what was goingthrough your head at that time?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
So as far as the birthday present, it's funny you
bring that up, because that'sall I kept saying to myself All
I want for my birthday is aliver transplant.
All I want for my birthday is amatch Someone, please.
And it was almost like thismanifestation and I didn't even
know at the time that I wasmanifesting this and rewind,
(17:45):
like you said, a year before,when I got the diagnosis, then
was put on the list and then wastold oh, you need a living
donor, which the odds of thatwere even worse than someone
passing away and being a match.
10 years ago, a living donormatch for a liver was about 2% a
living donor match for a liverwas about 2%.
(18:06):
So you know, even now I lookback and it's hard for me to
understand how strong I wasdespite those odds.
But I feel if my mind wasn'tstrong and I didn't have the
support system that I had, andalso is my health deteriorated
(18:33):
and you know, at night I wouldtry to get up out of bed and I
would fall.
And you know just all thecomplications, the
hallucinations.
When I would look at my parentsand my sister and see their
faces with the result of thosenights or the continued bad
(18:55):
blood tests and results from thedoctors, I would see their hope
and their spirit decline and Iknew that if something happened
to me it would destroy them,like it would destroy them.
(19:18):
So it got to a point where, asmuch as like I was struggling,
it didn't matter because Iwasn't fighting for me, I was
fighting for my family.
I knew I could not leave them.
Something bigger than yourselfyou can surpass, like any
(19:51):
obstacles that maybe in the pastyou would never think you could
do, you were capable of.
Like your potential is way morethan you even realize.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And that's a very powerful lesson you know in and
of itself, to learn that.
You know the power of yourmindset, the power of looking at
something bigger than yourself,and you know making it not in
like when you were in the depthsof the hardships of the health
(20:26):
issues you were going throughand seeing their hope start to
glimmer and allowing that,instead of making you spiral, it
seemed like you you put.
You did a good job of lettingthat ignite fire in you to be
like no, I'm going to keepfighting, I'm going to keep
pushing, I'm going to.
You know this is going tohappen for me.
(20:49):
I am going to get thetransplant I need.
I am going to live a full life.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yes, and you know it's.
It's so powerful to hear thattestimony in and of itself.
Thank you, those to show thepower of manifestation and the
power of just believing, youknow.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
And another thing I did, which I never did in the
past, was I started to journalnot like my thoughts or anything
at the time, which I probablyshould have done, I just didn't
think of it but I started tolook up, like on Pinterest and
Google, like warrior, fighter,survivor type of quotes and
(21:35):
different biblical scripturesand verses, and I would write
these down and on days that Iwas really struggling you know,
mentally, emotionally,physically, spiritually,
whatever the case I would readthese over and over and over and
it would give me this boostthat like, okay, you're going to
(21:57):
be okay, you're going to befine, you can do this.
It was just a matter of gettingto the next day.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yes, and were there any particular quotes or any
particular Bible verses thatreally saying to you that you
still hold near and dear to yourheart to this present day?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I would say.
A Bible verse for me would beum no, no weapon formed against
me shall prosper, and kind of auh, not a funny quote, but
something that my grandfatheralways liked and would ask to
hear from me and he passed awayalmost three years ago was oh my
(22:47):
gosh, what was it?
It was God thinks, or no, hangon, let me think of it, it was.
I want to say it correctly.
God doesn't give us more thanmore than we can handle.
Apparently, god thinks I'm abadass.
More than we can handleApparently.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
God thinks I'm a badass and I like that one a lot
.
I like both of them.
No weapons formed against meshall prosper.
And the other one you said youknow about God not giving you
more than you can handleApparently.
God thinks you're badass.
I love it.
That's fabulous.
Oh my God, I love it.
That's fabulous.
Oh my God, I um, you know, andit's so.
(23:27):
It's always so nice to likehave those things that you can
actually use to you know, as youknow, just guiding posts to you
know, it's always good to beable to have, like that, you
know, inspiration and have thathumor.
I mean you can't ask for better.
So when you go into yoursurgery, come out, you ended up
(23:50):
actually getting married to thedonor.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I did I did Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So how so was it that after the surgery you both
ended up starting to date Like,did that just kind of evolve?
Like how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
So we actually met in person before the about a month
before the transplant, and thenour families met and also
before the transplant, we had adinner before and then it was,
you know, after the surgery.
We were healing together.
We were starting to, you know,go on walks, do different things
(24:28):
, trying to get back to a normallife.
And that's where the bondstarted and also this feeling of
, I mean, this man saved my life.
You know, he voluntarily puthimself into surgery to save my
(24:49):
life.
Uh, so someone doing that, um,I felt like, wow, what else
would he add to my life?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
you know, I mean mean this sense of value and so,
after the surgery had happened,now you met in person before
your families had met, beforeyour family met him before.
Rather, um, you, you stayed intouch and then, um, like, how
(25:22):
long, like, did you guys datebefore the marriage?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh, not long.
Okay Was, let's see.
Surgery was in March.
We got married in October ofthe following year, so a year
and a half Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Okay, and then?
So how did everything thenstart to pick up?
You know, and you know, you gotmarried a year, year and a half
, after dating.
How did everything else thenstart to pick up with in terms
of being out in media andleading it to?
You know, you've been publishedon many different magazine
(26:08):
articles, you've been featuredin different news segments, and
you know very prominent ones aswell.
How did everything kind ofstart to catapult?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
everything kind of start to catapult.
So actually prior to even thetransplant, the local news got
ahold of it.
You know, frankfurt, mokena,the towns in my area they were
being, it was, the story wasbeing published in the newspaper
and I remember being in the ICUstill after my surgery and ABC
seven news wanting to come tointerview me and I'm like can we
(26:47):
hold off a little bit?
I'm very bloated and swollenand you know, 12 hour surgery
not really up for right now.
So really, after we got out ofthe ICU, got home, after we got
out of the ICU, got home, thenews exploded.
(27:09):
I could never have imagined mystory, especially like, because
other people have transplants,have gone through this stuff.
But I think the fact that itwas someone local that I didn't
know prior donated to me,someone local that I didn't know
prior donated to me and thenonce the news got out that we
were dating, um, it reallyexploded.
(27:30):
Like you said, we were on, um,steve Harvey, and he, uh, we
were engaged at that point andhe surprised us with, uh, our
honeymoon and it just it reallycatapulted from there and as
(27:50):
much as it was like this.
You know it looked great.
I was struggling a bit with itbecause I felt like all these
other people have hadtransplants before.
Why don't?
Why aren't they getting thisattention?
Why?
You know?
There's nothing special aboutme, maybe a bit of imposter
(28:11):
syndrome going on to turn itinto instead of like, not why me
, but um, I wanted to educatepeople.
(28:31):
I wanted to educate them onorgan donation and living
donation and the power of like,of hope, of resilience, of, uh,
never giving up no matter whatsomebody tells you.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Sure, From there.
Really, it seems like they,like you, found purpose.
You know, too.
You know when you startedgetting all.
You know when things startedblowing up for you in terms of
publicity.
You know about your story andwhat you had to undergo, because
here's the thing, though,heather, as much as you may have
(29:04):
felt like it.
Here's the thing, though,heather, as much as you may have
felt like it was impostersyndrome, like why me and other
people also had this too.
You know, I also.
You know, think, you know it'sa very powerful thing that you
had to undergo, right, and atthe end of the day, it doesn't
matter how you slice it rightthat this is a powerful event
(29:25):
that you had to undergo.
Being a young, just I mean, Ican only imagine what it must've
been like being a young 25 yearold, about to be 20, turning 25
, two weeks out of your ownbirthday, 25th birthday and
being told okay, you arebasically on death row, pretty
much Right, you are basically ondeath row pretty much right now
(29:46):
.
You know having to wait a yearlater for your next birthday,
and you had to pray all thattime and really put the result.
You know, keep up the faith,even though things are difficult
, even though you were facinghallucinations, even though you
had to keep going to thehospital and you really still
keeping up the faith and keepinghope for the next better day to
come.
Right, that in get in receiving, you know, that gift of getting
(30:11):
a donation, a living donation.
You know, and given the age youwere in, I can only imagine
like I don't think, most peoplecan even begin to comprehend
that Right and begin tocomprehend that Right.
And so you know, and I thinktoo you know, when you say you
were given purpose in your lifewith this donation right, that
(30:32):
he was giving you like he waslike a blessing in some way,
right, by giving more than halfof his liver to you and you're
getting that second chance atlife.
Did you, do you realize now,like the purpose that you had
(30:53):
given with all this?
You know, did the media and allthis um, or everything that
started to happen post-surgery,did it help you understand your
purpose better?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So that's an amazing question because for a long time
longer than I'd like to admitit took me a very long time to
realize that I knew that I washere for a reason.
I knew that, you know, in myfaith, god saved me.
(31:27):
For a reason I was given thissecond chance.
All these people that are onthe wait list and pass away or,
you know, don't get a transplantin time.
I knew that there was somethingyou know in me, that I was
(31:52):
still here.
But it took me a long time tocome to the realization that,
you know, my life didn't turnout the way I had envisioned.
No, I feel like, as, as as awoman especially I mean men too,
they visualize things but, likeas a woman, you think, okay,
you're going to go to college,you're going to meet someone,
you're going to get married,you're going to have kids, you
(32:14):
know kind of the stereotypicalvision, and none of that went as
planned.
So, to answer your question, Irealize now and accept that I
wouldn't change anything thathappened to me.
It made me into the person I amtoday and it created what my
(32:41):
life purpose is.
For a long time I was strugglingwith well, what am I going to
do with my life.
Okay, you know I was going tobe a nurse, but I had to quit
nursing school After mytransplant.
I went back to school andbecame an occupational therapy
assistant.
I lost my job in 2020 because Iwas the newest hire and I
(33:03):
didn't feel, even though I gotthat degree and I was working in
that field, I didn't feelfulfilled.
I still felt like I'm meant togive more to people and so then
I'm you know you're, I'm lookingon different job sites and you
know what I'm qualified to do,and oh no, I'm not.
(33:24):
I don't have this experience.
I don't have this experienceand I came to the realization.
I'm looking to the outside formy validation in my purpose in
life and my purpose is me.
It is my story, it is what Iwent through story.
It is what I went through and,as hard or as difficult as that
(33:45):
is, it is going to bring so muchmeaning and hope and
inspiration, motivation to otherpeople when they are struggling
, and that's, I feel, everythingI went through.
It's worth it.
(34:05):
I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
And what a powerful testimony right here too, you
know, if you know having, youknow being able to use the pain
you've been through, thechallenges you've been through,
and turn that into a message forothers, not only is it
(34:33):
cathartic for you, but itprovides wonders for other
people as well to take bettercare of themselves and to give
them hope when they're feelingstuck or in the rut or down in
the dumps about something.
And we're and it's interestingthat you talk about you know
(34:55):
that path that you thought youwere going to have, because I
feel like a lot of times, right,we're all inundated with that
message of okay, you finish highschool, you go to college.
Okay, after you're done withcollege, maybe you'll go to grad
school, maybe you'll go to medschool, whatever it is that you
do after, but by a certain ageyou're going to be married and
(35:16):
then, by a certain age, you'regoing to have your first kid and
your second kid or whateverelse may be Right.
Life doesn't work out like thatfor everybody, right, and most
often than not, you know whenyou're not on the beaten path.
That is where the most powerfultestimony of you and your
(35:40):
purpose and your place in lifecomes out, and I'm a firm
believer in that.
I'm a firm believer that it'snot always the it's not the
beaten path that wins.
All the time it is the onethat's least taken by.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You know, and I feel that you, you know, with your
journey and the path that lifethrew at you and the path that
you embraced, you were able tocome with a beautiful story.
Thank you and appreciate that.
Oh, of course.
(36:19):
And you know now, on a personalfront now, you were married for
about three years Three years,yep, and Hallmark had reached
out to you During the time inyour marriage where things were
(36:40):
getting rocky, correct?
Yeah, absolutely, were gettingrocky, correct?
Yeah, absolutely Okay.
So tell us a little bit nowabout that phone call.
Like when Hallmark called younow I know you've mentioned
earlier you thought, oh my God,am I dreaming?
Is this a joke?
Like, what kind of prank?
Is this Like right?
When you talk, like, tell me alittle bit about that process.
Then to Hallmark reached out toyou, tell me more.
(37:03):
What was going on?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Sure, so Hallmark reached out to you tell me more
what was going on, sure?
So hallmark reached out andthey wanted to.
They asked to make our storyour transplant story into a
hallmark christmas movie and,like we had talked previously,
hallmark stories are very likepredictable.
(37:23):
You know, small girl moves tobig city, vice versa, you know,
um.
So I was very honored to beasked about this and shocked,
but I also said like do I haverights to kind of help with the
writing of the script, because Iknow you have to hallmark it up
(37:47):
and make it cutesy, but I wantit if I can, I want it as close
to the story as possible.
Okay, so that was kind of inthe agreement before we signed
the contract, that I wanted thatas close to the real deal.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Okay, and what was it like for you then to like now,
were you able to go and um,watch them, film and everything,
and pick the cast and um.
Were you there for some of thelike the background, and were
you there for some of the likethe?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
background so I wasn't able to pick the cast,
but we were flown out to Canadafor three days when they filmed
(38:46):
so I was able to meet AmyTeagarden, who played me, and
the person who played Chris,people who played my parents, my
sister.
It was kind of crazy watchingit being filmed.
They kept our real names, sothey kept Heather, Ashley, Chris
, Bill, Kathy, my parents, youknow.
So it was.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
it was beyond surreal hearing these names and
watching someone else playing mylife and I bet that must have
been a really like um, liketouching uh moment to see people
(39:18):
take on your story, embrace it,have you know, keep your names,
um, and not change it, becausethere's a lot of times they will
change even the charactersnames.
But, yeah, they kept your namesand they kept you know, they
kept it close as possible sothey could, you know, and I know
, like, of course, like, goingto your point, they probably had
(39:39):
to, you know, change certainthings and spice up our hallmark
right to right of the hallmarkright it really um to me, like
sitting on the sidelines, in away, watching it being filmed,
with all the cameras and theprops and the setups.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Um, and around christmas time as well, you know
made it even more special.
It really amplified to me theextent of which I didn't even
realize at the time the power inmy story and showing, like, not
just my story, but everyone hasa story, everyone has a story
(40:30):
and we can all, as much as you,as much as I felt so alone
during that time waiting for thetransplant, even though I
didn't, even though I knew Iwasn't alone, I had family I had
, I had the support.
It was still a very lonely timeand it just really like it was
almost like a aha moment to me,sitting on the sidelines
watching this being filmed that,no matter how big or small your
(40:51):
story or you think it is orwhat you're going through, the
impact of it, what the hope andlight that it can bring to
somebody else, is so powerful.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Absolutely, somebody else is so powerful.
Absolutely, at the time thatthe movie was being filmed.
You had mentioned before, whenwe had talked, that Hallmark was
showing a very peachy and rosyview of you and Chris's
(41:25):
relationship.
Yes, when in reality it was atthe time when you both started
going to couples counseling, yes, yes.
So what was it like to see thatdichotomy, you know, between
what they're showing you andportraying you on film to be,
and you and Chris to be, thishappy, lovey-dovey, gee, rosy
couple, whereas in reality youwere really at.
(41:47):
You were at that time when itwas just crumbling and you were
not really holding on.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, that that was difficult because it went from
you know when it first happenedto getting all these messages
from people, strangers, even indifferent countries, like
because of your story, becauseof you and Chris, like it's
given me hope, I'm going to keepholding on.
(42:16):
Or my sister is dealing withthis liver disease or something
else and she heard your story soshe's going to hold on to the
next day.
Like that gave as much as I wasgiving them purpose.
It was giving me a purpose and,in a sense, of why I went
through what I went through.
So then fast forward to themovie.
(42:40):
And it's a hallmark fairy taleand everyone thinks everything
is just lovey-dovey, like yousaid.
Um, it was not, and that wasvery difficult because we were
going through counseling for awhile at that point.
It didn't just start then.
(43:00):
We were both going throughindividual and couples
counseling for a while and wehad signed the contract for this
movie a while before it cameout.
So things continued todeteriorate and I felt like,
(43:20):
like I said earlier, I felt likea fraud, because you're coming
out with this movie Hallmarkfairy tale.
He saved your life and, oh mygosh, you got married and in
reality we're sleeping indifferent beds.
We're you know he's workingduring the day and I'm doing the
housework and we're avoidingeach other.
(43:42):
So I felt very as much aspeople were celebrating this
movie and this publicity.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I felt very guilty for coming across not how it was
in real life well, this issomething to be, I think,
expected sometimes, especiallylike in like channels like
hallmark, right, because when welook at it, right, we look at
the predictability, right, andmost the movie theme has been,
(44:17):
you know, two people meet, theyget together and then they end
up getting married or it's arekindled relationship from the
past, you know, during christmastime, right, and those kinds of
movies, the theme has alwaysbeen people ending up happy
together, right, and I feel likeit's not in, and I think it's
(44:39):
important to distinguish thefact that you know it's not like
you were trying tointentionally put that out there
, like, oh, everything's allgreat and we're, you know, happy
and lovey and dovey, you know,because truth is, this was made
for entertainment purposes aswell.
Right, there was thatentertainment component,
component of you know, yes, theygo to your story, the serious
(45:01):
part of it, but they also neededto kind of spice it up for,
like you said, hallmark, theyhad to kind of Hall it up.
For, like you said, hallmark,they had to kind of Hallmark it
right.
So, it's you know, so it's not ayou and most people would
understand right that it's youknow.
What happens in real life andwhat happens on screen are
(45:25):
completely different.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Absolutely.
And and what I kind of came torealize was this what I thought
was like this true love, this,you know, all these feelings for
him, it really was an extremesense of gratitude for what he
did for me.
He saved my life, and I feelthat I, you know, maybe maybe he
(46:00):
truly loved me.
I don't know.
I haven't spoken to him, youknow, post-divorce, about any of
this stuff, so his intentions,his love for me could have been
completely pure.
Mine, I feel, was a sense ofrealizing.
(46:20):
It was a sense of gratitude yousaved my life.
I thought I was going to die.
I, you know my odds.
I could feel my body shuttingdown, I was getting weaker.
You know all these things in.
You popped up and volunteeredto do this for me and at the
time I was like, oh my gosh, ifhe would, you know, go through
(46:41):
surgery and save my life, likewhat else would he not?
What else would he do for me?
But, like he has to be, there'ssomething in him that he has to
be this great partner throughsurgery and save my life.
Like what else would he not?
What else would he do for me?
But, like he has to be, there'ssomething in him that he has to
be this great partner, right?
So?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
yeah, and a lot of times it's easy to get confused,
right, with somebody doingsomething for you and which he
had done for you in a major way,and then confusing it with,
like, like there's that sense of, okay, obligation and love that
sometimes gets torped.
(47:15):
Yes, you know, and truth of thematter is it's okay to be
grateful to somebody for whatthey've done for you, but that
doesn't necessarily mean, right,that you love them in such a
way that you know it's going toend up in a different kind of
relationship, right, you canstill love somebody and have a
(47:38):
sense of gratitude for a person,right.
And I think a lot of times weyou know people get that
mistaken.
You know, a lot of times ourbrain confuses us with that, and
you know, and I'm sure you know, and it must've been also a
very painful lesson to have tohave learned, for you too- no,
(47:58):
absolutely, and I think it was.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
it was hard because, um, my relationships and
boyfriends in the past weren'tthe greatest.
I tended to go for the bad boy,the you know not what my
parents would like.
So then, having someone whosaved my life and my parents
(48:24):
love them and praising them andwant them around and want to go
to dinner with them, when Inever had that in the past, that
really, and also the media,that constant, like confirmation
that this is a wonderful thing.
(48:46):
In a young brain also that justwent through a medical trauma,
I wasn't able to dissect likewhat my true feelings were and
what was just gratitude.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
And that's also makes it complicated.
You know, for us to realize,like, what a good relationship
is and what's that's also makesit complicated.
You know for for us to realize,like, what a good relationship
is and what's not.
And I can completely empathizewith going for the wrong people.
You know, I've been theremyself and you know, and it's
always you know, what it is.
It's easy to fall for thecharmers.
It's easy to fall for guys that, like, pretend you know to be
(49:27):
all these great things whenthey're not.
And I noticed I've fallen.
You know, some of the people Ifell for in my past were and I
write about it in my book too inthat they, um, you know, they
pretend to be like, really sweetand very charming and they're
very smart and they're very goodlooking.
But, yes, but they're just.
(49:47):
But when it came time, it'slike and this is one thing that
had crushed me before is okay,well, you've acted a certain way
.
Now why don't you want me to beyour girlfriend, right, like?
And so I get, I mean, Iunderstand that.
You know, finding, I thinkfinding love is difficult, you
know.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
And absolutely it's.
You know, I always say like,just be honest with me, like I
feel, like it's very hard, Ifeel like so many people wear a
mask today.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
You know, and it's like, even though you tell
people, I tell people straightup.
You know, man, maybe I'minterested in I would rather you
hurt me with the truth anddeceive me with a lie and it
come out later.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
A hundred percent.
I'd rather be told right awayhey, I'm not really feeling this
, or I'll just look at you as afriend.
Yeah, I'd be happy with that.
I'd be like, okay, fine, thankyou for letting me know.
You know, I mean, I'd ratherhave that than be let on and
only to get dissed or two-timedor find out, you know, I thought
I was in this great littlerelationship and the guys with
(51:03):
other women behind my back,right?
Speaker 2 (51:05):
so yes, like I don't want to be deceived.
Like as, as harsh as it sounds,I'm like be blunt with me, say
say this, say that, because Idon't want to deal with the hurt
later on.
Like, just be straight up withme.
And it's very hard for peopleto be straight up and to take
that mask off.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Well.
Hence, you get a lot ofghosting nowadays.
Yeah, people don't want to behonest, you know they won't be
like, okay, I'm not reallyfeeling this.
They don't want to actually,and I think a lot of people
because they're so afraid ofconfrontation.
True, you know they just ghost,but, yes, you know, and it's so
(51:49):
hard, but, yeah, you know whatI feel like.
Sometimes, though, too, you knowthere's a blessing.
I believe this.
You know there's a blessing inbeing single, and it took me
forever to learn this, because,you know, I grew up in a culture
where it's all about.
You know, they celebratemarriage, and one of the most
important things especially agirl can do is get married and
have a kid or whatever else, butI never wanted kids.
That's one thing I knew aboutmyself.
And number two, honestly, likethere's so much of a blessing
(52:14):
that comes from being single,and you know, even when we look
at your story here now, heather,you know what.
Just think about all the greatwork you're doing right now,
right, and think about the factthat you are continuing to get
your story out there.
Are there any exciting projectsyou're working on now that you
could share with us?
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Yeah, so no, I'll get to that.
That's a great point, because Ihave said to my parents just
recently I'm like you know asmuch, as sometimes it's lonely
and I wish I had someone that Icould maybe go to dinner with or
watch a movie with or whatever.
I'm like.
I know that it's not happeningfor me right now, even though
I've met different men or haddifferent relationships.
(52:55):
It's not happening for me rightnow because I have this greater
purpose and that's what I needto focus on, and anything else
is going to distract me.
But to your question so rightnow I am working on becoming a
keynote speaker.
I've had some speeches that Ihave gone to been the keynote
(53:19):
speaker for.
I'm working on.
My ultimate goal is to be aglobal keynote speaker.
I would love to travel, even toother countries, and I find it
so fascinating to learn othercultures and traditions and how
(53:41):
my story could have a greaterimpact, to give someone hope to
hold on to the next day.
So that's currently what I'mworking on.
I'm also working on a book aswell about my story.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
Oh, that is amazing and that book is going to
definitely help catapult youeven further into the keynote
speeches and stuff.
Do you have any upcoming likeplaces you're going to be
speaking in the near future forkeynote, or is that kind of
still in the works?
Speaker 2 (54:12):
It's kind of still in the works.
I've been right now it's mostlybeen in the Chicagoland area,
so the Northern suburbs,schaumburg, hoffman Estates,
arlington Heights, those typesof areas.
It's kind of still in the works.
I'm working on branding myself,creating an LLC.
(54:33):
I feel once I establish more ofwho I am, that is going to help
, like you said, catapult memore as well as the book.
You know, like you said,catapult me more as well as as
well as the book.
Right now I'm thinking aboutkind of my brand being the
survivor's edge the name.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
Oh, I love that.
I like the name of that.
I think it has like a good kindof like a vibe to it.
It has good energy, thesurvivor's edge.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
It's like like kind of groovy, you know kind ofovy,
you know, kind of yeah, yeah,yeah, thank you, thank you.
So that's what I'm thinkingright now um, not official, but
um just just excited aboutmoving forward with my life and
um helping other people.
Ultimately, like, I know howmuch I suffered and struggled
(55:27):
for way longer than I thought Iever would after the transplant
and it's almost embarrassing tosay that it took me this long.
So I want to prevent otherpeople from getting stuck in
that those emotions.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
Yeah Well, heather, you are an amazing and
inspirational woman.
I think that people who areblessed to come across you, I
mean, are just.
I mean it's just like it's suchan amazing experience, it's
such, you know, people will beblessed to come across you.
(56:06):
People who are People who havebeen blessed to come across you
are just blessed.
I don't know how else to justput it.
You know, and I think that youknow, your story is going to
help so many people.
Now, heather and I are going tobe at the same conference.
We're going to Creative Con.
Yes, we're going to creative conFebruary 21st is the kickoff
and I'll be doing my book launch.
(56:27):
That, um Heather will be, uh, aproud guest of.
Yes, I'm so happy for you, Iknow you.
I mean, I swear I was tryingnot to cry during this podcast
interview because I saw youtearing up and, believe me, I'm
trying not to cry on Friday.
So stay strong, stay strong.
(56:51):
But yes, heather will be there.
Heather, if people wanted toget in touch with you now,
obviously, guys, you can alwayscome out to the Intercontinental
Hotel if you're in theChicagoland area and come join
the Creative Con Conference,because tickets will be sold
that night.
Or if you're just coming outfor the book launch, that's cool
too, but cause she's also goingto be there, we're all just
(57:12):
going to be chilling Fridaynights a chill night, but but
you know, coming to theconference would be great.
Now, heather, wait, are youspeaking at that conference or
are you just kind of?
Are you doing?
Speaker 2 (57:22):
something I'm just attending.
I will be helping uh brianswift with his workshop.
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Great, but yes, yes, oh my gosh, brian swift, yes,
he's been on my show too.
So, for people who've beenlistening, yes, he has, you know
.
Um, so I mean, there are twoamazing people.
So I definitely will beattending that workshop.
Granted, it's if it's the timeschedule where you know things
line up.
But, yes, so, but we are.
(57:55):
Yes, but, heather, if we wantedto get in touch with you, apart
from attending the conference,where else can we find you?
People find you.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
Sure, I am on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn,
TikTok a little bit, butFacebook and Instagram are my
main places.
The Real Heather Kruger or youcan email me at HeatherKruger
K-R-U-E-G-E-R 23, at gmailcom ohmy goodness, heather, this has
(58:30):
been such an amazing episode.
Speaker 1 (58:31):
This has been such an amazing time we had together
here at this.
I love it.
I'm just super blessed to havehad you no, I'm blessed.
Speaker 2 (58:38):
I'm so grateful to have met you oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
So grateful to you too, and what is thank you?
And you're such an amazingperson too, and what would you
like to say for parting in likepieces of inspiration or advice,
like what is one thing youwould love to just share right
now with people who arelistening?
Sure?
Speaker 2 (59:00):
my one thing would be everything is temporary.
When you are struggling withsomething, I know at the time
whether it's a breakup, the lossof someone, the loss of a job,
even the loss of a pet, you knowlike something going on in your
life in the moment can feel sodetrimental and not to minimize
(59:25):
it, because it can be.
I mean, I'm not going to besugarcoated, but everything is
temporary and if you justrealize that life isn't
happening like at you not a,it's not a punishment, it is
(59:56):
everything in life is teaching alesson, whether we like it or
not, as hard as it is.
I would not have liked to havea transplant.
I would not have liked to havehad a divorce.
I would not have liked to hadto stop an adoption process that
I was going through.
You know, all those things Iwould not choose, but at the end
of the day it made me who I am.
Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
And.
Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
I feel, when people are going through something, you
just have to pause and breatheand realize this isn't forever
and you are going to come outstronger on the other end.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Thank you so much for sharing that and thank you for
that reminder and that you knowthings common, things go right
in terms of emotions, and thateverything is so fleeting Life
is fleeting in and of itself too.
Kind of reminds me of the movieJack.
Yes, you know, have you seenthat one with Robin Williams?
(01:00:59):
Yeah, remember the graduationspeech he gives at the end of
the movie.
He talks about life beingfleeting and he knew that he,
his time was limited, right, inthat movie he had some, um, he
had something, some conditionwhere it caused him to mature a
(01:01:20):
lot faster, right?
So, yeah, it just reminds, youknow, it just reminds me of
parts of that end of the speechwhere he talks about, you know,
looking up at the sky andremembering him, and you know he
talks about like somethingalong the lines of not, you know
, life being fleeting and timebeing limited, right and stuff.
And you know it just goes toshow like how, you know that and
(01:01:46):
even though things happen to usthat we may not like, right,
it's, it's for the greater good.
Ultimately, things work out inthe long run.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
They do, they do Absolutely, they do Absolutely.
And if you think about, like,put yourself in a position of,
if you were told you have threemonths to live, the things that
you're worrying about now, thethings that you're stressing
about, would they really matteror would you let that go, or
(01:02:15):
would you see the greater beautyin life itself?
Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Yes, so absolutely, you know Heather, this has been
such a pleasure.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you, please.
You know, let's give it up forHeather.
She is amazing, you know.
Definitely reach out to her.
Instagram, facebook, email herthe links will be in the show
(01:02:45):
notes and also remember acreative con you know this week
and at a continental hotelstarting Friday night book
launch.
Also, my book dropped in a mazeis now available for purchase
on Amazon and once again, thankyou all for tuning in.
(01:03:05):
Um, and once again, thank youall for tuning in.
And if you like this episodeand want to continue hearing
more amazing things out of here,please remember to rate, review
, subscribe and share with yourloved ones, your family, your
friends, colleagues, anybody youknow whom you think could use
(01:03:26):
doses of inspiration and wouldlove to hear conversations on
autism spectrum, mental healthor any inspirational stories.
Thank you,
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