June 26, 2023 • 17 mins
Be careful about entering into a relationship that requires a high investment and gives a low return. In this episode, we are called to consider how much external appearances influence our choices without experiencing all seasons with a person.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to Once I Knew aGirl, a guide to navigating the
complexities of relationships.
I am your host, Sam Bailey.
And to all those who arereturning listeners, I want to
say welcome back.
And to all of you who are firsttime listeners, I just want to
say welcome.
If you have not yet done so,please subscribe to this podcast
(00:21):
on all major platforms,including Apple Podcasts,
Spotify, iHeartRadio, GooglePodcasts, Amazon, Audible, and
many others.
As we begin this third episodetoday, I want to encourage you
to go back and check out thefirst two.
The first was kind of anintroductory type of episode.
(00:42):
And the last episode was, she'sdefinitely hiding something.
It was talking about the type ofperson who practices concealment
therapy.
Prior to beginning inrelationships.
Now, I have to say right here,just to remind you, that Once I
Knew a Girl is a very subjectivepodcast.
(01:04):
And it had an original aim toencourage men, young men in
particular, on how to considerand examine a woman and consider
certain actions and behaviorsbefore entering into a
relationship.
But I believe the purpose can beto open up the dialogue.
So, You're welcome to disagree.
You're welcome to feeldifferently about what I'm
(01:26):
stating and what I'm saying.
But really, the purpose is toopen eyes to consider behaviors
that affect relationships.
Relationships are difficult andnone of us can claim that we
have them down.
It takes work, takes hard work,matter of fact, and it takes
effort.
working at oneself first beforeentering into some sort of
(01:48):
commitment with another and sotoday i want to pick up with
once i knew a girl that was highmaintenance i know all the
ladies are saying this is thepart where i shut it off don't
shut it off just yet maintenanceis important right anyone who's
ever purchased any item ofsignificant value has discovered
The importance of consideringthe object's durability when
(02:12):
purchasing.
I used to drive Toyota Camrysand I can honestly say that in
all of my experiences of drivingcars that they are at the top
when it comes to maintenance.
The purchase price was notridiculous nor did it ever
require extra services beyondthe normal regularly scheduled
services.
And sometimes it's easy for usto forsake dependability to
(02:36):
reach our dream car.
I did that, like many of you whoare listening, and I was
surprised to find that my dreamcar turned out to be a nightmare
for several reasons.
I'll give you a little bit ofwhat I mean.
I've always wanted an Audi, andI was fortunate enough to trade
in a Toyota Sequoia that I hadto get one.
(02:57):
The Toyota Sequoia wasdependable.
It had more room on the inside.
I think it Seated seven to eightpassengers.
I mean, it had TV in theheadrest for the girls to watch
their favorite shows,Backyardigans, Dora, High School
Musical, all that stuff fromback in the day while we
traveled.
The exterior was impressive.
(03:17):
And with all that being said, Icould not pass up the
opportunity to drive a Q7.
It was kind of a midsizecrossover.
And at first, I was impressed bythe color.
I liked the color, the interiordesign.
Audio system by Bose, which Ibelieve is still superior today.
I love having an all wheel drivevehicle.
My first all wheel drive vehiclethat performed.
(03:40):
highly in different types ofterrains we drove it to Orlando
Florida one summer I wasspeaking and it was the best
ride and of course when wepurchased it it was used and
there was no way at the timethat I could possibly afford a
new one or even a certified oneand if you know anything about
vehicles you know a cardepreciates from the moment you
(04:01):
drive it off the lot first thingthat started going wrong was
there was water leaking fromunderneath this front dashboard
and It was doing it both on thedriver and the passenger side.
And then we started havingproblems with the entertainment
portion of the dashboard.
And lastly, we started havingproblems with the brakes.
And it turned out that thebrakes was a straw that broke
(04:22):
the camel's back.
And just to put the brakes, theright brakes back on that car,
it was an easy task.
$2,000 that we did not have.
That's a steep amount forsomeone like me who grew up
changing brakes on my Oldsmobilewith my dad.
We would just go to AutoZone,get the brakes.
He showed me how to put thebrakes on and we keep rolling.
(04:44):
So when we first purchased thecar I had back then in You know,
my car was called Six Deep.
It was Oldsmobile.
It had the armrest in the middlethat you would raise up and six
of us could ride in it.
But when we purchased this Audi,I felt like I had arrived.
You know, I'm not the type ofperson to show off.
I like to floss things.
(05:04):
Most things, if I had certainthings, if I had things that
don't, I don't like to floss orshow off because I don't.
I think I have some kind ofmaterial thing which all of a
sudden makes me better thansomeone else.
No, but it's about me.
If I achieve something, I gainsomething because it's something
I want or something I want toenjoy.
But what I had soon realized isthat even though I thought I had
(05:26):
an oddity and I was cool, Irealized that I was...
Becoming jealous of some peoplewho still had their same cars
that was running and had nothingwrong with it.
I mean, the car was always inthe shop.
Something was always wrong withit.
And it brought forth a valuablelesson to me.
Sometimes you can afford to buythe car, but you can't afford
the maintenance.
(05:47):
See, maintenance, I realize, isnot just about the exterior.
Maintenance is about the engine,which resides on the inside.
There are many moving parts to avehicle that makes it work.
And most importantly, it's theparts that you cannot see.
It's the stuff.
Stuff that's on the inside.
And as I've gotten older, I'mnot concerned about how I look
to people and what I drive.
(06:08):
I just want a car that'sdependable, a car that gets me
where I need to go, somethingthat gives me a few luxuries
that I enjoy.
And I'm a music head, so I likethe Bose.
My ears are attuned and trainedto Bose.
But many of the luxury cars thatwe go purchase...
are a pain and we we do them forthe brand or the symbol that
gives us status and yes it makesyou feel accomplished and yes
(06:30):
there's some features on thembut at the end of the day you
spend all your time and moneyjust trying to keep it running
then you're going to lose in thelong term so I want to establish
this concept of maintenancebeing crucial to considering the
longevity of a relationshipthere are many Other men who can
testify the challenges ofdealing with the high
maintenance woman.
(06:51):
Now, ladies are saying there aresome men who are high
maintenance.
That is true.
But I am a man.
So I'm speaking of men to womanright now.
And we'll reverse that as itapplies.
So initially, men get sucked inbecause of the glitz and the
glamour.
of this lady.
(07:12):
She says all the right things.
She has all the right answers.
Maybe the first time you sawher, she shined like that Audi
on that lot.
You liked every detail.
She was well put together.
You liked the way she wore hershoes or how her skin was so
evenly moisturized.
Even that soft scent ofhoneysuckle rose that she was
(07:33):
wearing.
Not to mention she knew how toput her outfits together.
I mean, there's nothing morealluring to a man than a well
put together woman.
I know women like well puttogether men, but we like well
put together women as well.
So women don't often realize howmuch we don't pay attention to
the things they think we do.
Men don't spend a lot of timelooking at your fingernails.
(07:56):
That's for you or for otherwomen.
We don't know if you got yournails done.
We could care less about aMichael Kors bag or your
toenails.
We may like the way your lipgloss is shining on your lips.
We may like the way your hairblows in the wind or the way you
turn red.
Or whatever color you turn whenwe say something that touches
(08:18):
your heart.
All these things are fine, butthey give no indication to
what's really going on on theinside.
How do you ever come to knowwhat's going on the inside of a
person?
So looking at someone's socialmedia page or even talking to
the other person is not a goodindicator.
of the level of maintenance thatis going to be required to
maintain that relationship.
(08:38):
Y'all have heard this before.
Sometimes we start off withexpectations too high.
We start off doing things thatwe can't keep up over a long
period of time.
So it's important to know thathow you start is how you're
going to have to finish it.
And everybody has characterflaws.
And you won't know about thesecharacter flaws until you spend
a little time getting to knowwhat's underneath all things.
(09:01):
Bells and Whistles A flawlessexterior paint job.
And if you like me, you love tohave the right color, match the
(09:23):
rims.
I mean, who doesn't like all thebells and whistles that come
with luxury, right?
Most people that go for luxuryunderstand up front that they're
paying for things that you mightnot be able to get on a standard
price.
Sometimes you have to pay forthe name itself.
Other times you have to pay forvariations of speed.
You have to pay for horsepower.
(09:43):
Sometimes you have to pay foroverall reputation of the brand.
So we live in a TikTok,Instagram world, and everybody
can show you their bells andwhistles.
But I'm afraid that we lackdependability and substance and
quality to go with those bellsand whistles.
What good is there, I think, tofind a girl that doesn't know
(10:04):
how to love you?
What good is a sexy lady who hasanger issues underneath?
I understand now why so manylease their luxury vehicles
because there's a certain periodof time that you can turn that
lease in and upgrade it tosomething else.
And unfortunately, we turn inrelationships like their cars to
be leased because we are fooledbecause we didn't do the
(10:25):
research.
We didn't do the homework.
We didn't take the time out tolook deeper than the exterior,
get the car facts, get thehistory of it.
But let me tell you something.
Women are not automobiles.
And I use this metaphorically toshow us that we have to consider
the total cost before enteringinto a relationship.
There are some ladies, fellasthat you'll come across in your
(10:45):
life that you have to realizethey serve a purpose.
And maybe that purpose is toshow you a good time.
Maybe that purpose is to giveyou someone to laugh with and
someone you can play some sportswith.
And maybe it might be someonewho comes at a season of time of
grief or someone was there toshow you how to be a better
version of yourself.
Maybe she was there to be alistener.
Or to help tutor you throughschool.
(11:09):
Sometimes she's just great tohave on your shoulder and to
compliment you by caring for youand listening to you and being
there to support you.
So realize that.
And realize that there arelevels to this.
Everybody doesn't come at thesame pace, at the same level,
with the same amount of issues.
And so...
(11:30):
We got to stop playing games.
Ladies, fellas with one another.
I mean, you can tell up front,whatever you're doing to reel
her in, lure her in, expensivedinners, promises of trips,
clothes, jewelry.
I guarantee you, if you'rehaving to do all those things to
make her happy, you're going tobe disappointed later.
(11:50):
I think I see a lot ofrelationships where people are
frustrated because...
All they did during the datingperiod was audition for one
another.
Audition by taking you to yourfavorite restaurant, going out
to movies, buying you what youwant, spending time with just
people that love us and know us.
I always say you got to see aperson in all seasons.
(12:14):
What are you like when you wakeup in the morning?
What are you like when somethingdoesn't go your way?
Are you a spoiled, entitledbrat?
Are you a hothead, controlling,narcissistic?
You know, that goes...
For both men and women, I mean,we can be all these things.
What are you when you losesomeone?
How do you respond?
(12:35):
Have you seen them go throughchanges and transitions on the
job?
What about their ownself-appraisal?
How have you seen them value ordevalue themselves as things
have changed?
in their life for the better orfor the worse.
These are all things to considerstrongly.
And there's no guarantee that aCamry won't break down, right?
(12:58):
After all, it still is a car.
And, you know, you can't be...
so cautious to the point whereyou don't move because you,
again, overgeneralizeeverything.
Every luxury car is bad.
No.
But I guarantee you themaintenance on a Mercedes and an
Audi and a BMW is going to costmore than a maintenance on a
(13:21):
Jeep.
You can find those Jeep partseverywhere or a GMC.
And that's just...
the point you got to be carefulwhen you go foreign and some of
us date foreign to us you knowjust people who don't mesh well
with us people who we are notcompatible with and you got to
(13:41):
be compatible with it and justbecause you look good in it
doesn't mean it's a good car foryou everything that's good to
you is not good for you and soladies I don't mean to call you
cars but I It takes a lot tokeep up with some of y'all.
It's just too much.
And maybe you're looking andsaying, well, why can't I?
It's just too much to keep upwith everything that you demand.
(14:05):
You're demanding of everybody inyour life.
And I'm not saying that youshouldn't be demanding, but to
the point where you can pushsomeone away by just being so
high maintenance.
And I think that we have toconsider that.
strongly how we're impactingothers.
And so what can we do, fellas?
(14:26):
Well, I think we got to stopbeing high maintenance as well,
first of all, because it is ourdesire that gets us in trouble
in the first place.
Some of us guys have goodcatches right in front of us,
but we're overzealous.
Don't let there be a guy who Hethinks he has women outnumbered.
(14:47):
He'll surely play the game.
And guys, let's be honest, wehave a difficult time committing
anyway, regardless if that womanis, and I quote, high
maintenance or not.
We just have a difficult timenowadays committing.
But I think that's why thedating process has got to go
back what it was intended to be.
That's a courting process.
It is a...
(15:07):
An incubation period where youdiscover if this is something
that we should go through withor that we want to go through
with, not just so I can have sexor not just so I can have two
incomes or not just so I can notbe lonely anymore, but remember
relationships, especiallymarriages, good marriages,
they're not...
(15:28):
They're not completion pieces.
They're complimentary pieces.
All right.
If you're sitting around waitingfor someone to complete you,
that is a red flag.
If you need this car to completeyou, that is a red flag.
Get it because you want it, notbecause you need it.
Those are two different things.
And so take it how you want todigest it, how you want to
(15:49):
consider it.
think about it share it withsomeone else and most
importantly you got to keep ongoing with me on this journey
down once I knew a girl againjust giving you a little insight
on the book that I have coming afew things again just want to
encourage you to subscribe tothis podcast wherever you can
find it that way when theseepisodes drop you can be sure to
(16:09):
get the notifications and it cancome in also just remind you
have another podcast as well atherapeutic podcast with my
colleague Kim and the podcast iscalled The Gray with Cam and Sam
and you can find it as well onall the other major platforms
and we talk about thingstherapeutic of nature and our
(16:30):
job is or our aim is just toinform to educate it's funny
it's the purpose is to justraise awareness of some of the
things that are going on in therealm of mental health so check
that out as well Well, I want tothank you for joining today.
(16:51):
And I know you're going to behere next time.
Next episode is going to drophere real soon.
So we'll see you next time onOnce I Knew A Girl.
Y'all be great.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome back to Once I Knew aGirl, a guide to navigating the
complexities of relationships.
I am your host, Sam Bailey.
And to all those who arereturning listeners, I want to
say welcome back.
And to all of you who are firsttime listeners, I just want to
say welcome.
If you have not yet done so,please subscribe to this podcast
(00:21):
on all major platforms,including Apple Podcasts,
Spotify, iHeartRadio, GooglePodcasts, Amazon, Audible, and
many others.
As we begin this third episodetoday, I want to encourage you
to go back and check out thefirst two.
The first was kind of anintroductory type of episode.
(00:42):
And the last episode was, she'sdefinitely hiding something.
It was talking about the type ofperson who practices concealment
therapy.
Prior to beginning inrelationships.
Now, I have to say right here,just to remind you, that Once I
Knew a Girl is a very subjectivepodcast.
(01:04):
And it had an original aim toencourage men, young men in
particular, on how to considerand examine a woman and consider
certain actions and behaviorsbefore entering into a
relationship.
But I believe the purpose can beto open up the dialogue.
So, You're welcome to disagree.
You're welcome to feeldifferently about what I'm
(01:26):
stating and what I'm saying.
But really, the purpose is toopen eyes to consider behaviors
that affect relationships.
Relationships are difficult andnone of us can claim that we
have them down.
It takes work, takes hard work,matter of fact, and it takes
effort.
working at oneself first beforeentering into some sort of
(01:48):
commitment with another and sotoday i want to pick up with
once i knew a girl that was highmaintenance i know all the
ladies are saying this is thepart where i shut it off don't
shut it off just yet maintenanceis important right anyone who's
ever purchased any item ofsignificant value has discovered
The importance of consideringthe object's durability when
(02:12):
purchasing.
I used to drive Toyota Camrysand I can honestly say that in
all of my experiences of drivingcars that they are at the top
when it comes to maintenance.
The purchase price was notridiculous nor did it ever
require extra services beyondthe normal regularly scheduled
services.
And sometimes it's easy for usto forsake dependability to
(02:36):
reach our dream car.
I did that, like many of you whoare listening, and I was
surprised to find that my dreamcar turned out to be a nightmare
for several reasons.
I'll give you a little bit ofwhat I mean.
I've always wanted an Audi, andI was fortunate enough to trade
in a Toyota Sequoia that I hadto get one.
(02:57):
The Toyota Sequoia wasdependable.
It had more room on the inside.
I think it Seated seven to eightpassengers.
I mean, it had TV in theheadrest for the girls to watch
their favorite shows,Backyardigans, Dora, High School
Musical, all that stuff fromback in the day while we
traveled.
The exterior was impressive.
(03:17):
And with all that being said, Icould not pass up the
opportunity to drive a Q7.
It was kind of a midsizecrossover.
And at first, I was impressed bythe color.
I liked the color, the interiordesign.
Audio system by Bose, which Ibelieve is still superior today.
I love having an all wheel drivevehicle.
My first all wheel drive vehiclethat performed.
(03:40):
highly in different types ofterrains we drove it to Orlando
Florida one summer I wasspeaking and it was the best
ride and of course when wepurchased it it was used and
there was no way at the timethat I could possibly afford a
new one or even a certified oneand if you know anything about
vehicles you know a cardepreciates from the moment you
(04:01):
drive it off the lot first thingthat started going wrong was
there was water leaking fromunderneath this front dashboard
and It was doing it both on thedriver and the passenger side.
And then we started havingproblems with the entertainment
portion of the dashboard.
And lastly, we started havingproblems with the brakes.
And it turned out that thebrakes was a straw that broke
(04:22):
the camel's back.
And just to put the brakes, theright brakes back on that car,
it was an easy task.
$2,000 that we did not have.
That's a steep amount forsomeone like me who grew up
changing brakes on my Oldsmobilewith my dad.
We would just go to AutoZone,get the brakes.
He showed me how to put thebrakes on and we keep rolling.
(04:44):
So when we first purchased thecar I had back then in You know,
my car was called Six Deep.
It was Oldsmobile.
It had the armrest in the middlethat you would raise up and six
of us could ride in it.
But when we purchased this Audi,I felt like I had arrived.
You know, I'm not the type ofperson to show off.
I like to floss things.
(05:04):
Most things, if I had certainthings, if I had things that
don't, I don't like to floss orshow off because I don't.
I think I have some kind ofmaterial thing which all of a
sudden makes me better thansomeone else.
No, but it's about me.
If I achieve something, I gainsomething because it's something
I want or something I want toenjoy.
But what I had soon realized isthat even though I thought I had
(05:26):
an oddity and I was cool, Irealized that I was...
Becoming jealous of some peoplewho still had their same cars
that was running and had nothingwrong with it.
I mean, the car was always inthe shop.
Something was always wrong withit.
And it brought forth a valuablelesson to me.
Sometimes you can afford to buythe car, but you can't afford
the maintenance.
(05:47):
See, maintenance, I realize, isnot just about the exterior.
Maintenance is about the engine,which resides on the inside.
There are many moving parts to avehicle that makes it work.
And most importantly, it's theparts that you cannot see.
It's the stuff.
Stuff that's on the inside.
And as I've gotten older, I'mnot concerned about how I look
to people and what I drive.
(06:08):
I just want a car that'sdependable, a car that gets me
where I need to go, somethingthat gives me a few luxuries
that I enjoy.
And I'm a music head, so I likethe Bose.
My ears are attuned and trainedto Bose.
But many of the luxury cars thatwe go purchase...
are a pain and we we do them forthe brand or the symbol that
gives us status and yes it makesyou feel accomplished and yes
(06:30):
there's some features on thembut at the end of the day you
spend all your time and moneyjust trying to keep it running
then you're going to lose in thelong term so I want to establish
this concept of maintenancebeing crucial to considering the
longevity of a relationshipthere are many Other men who can
testify the challenges ofdealing with the high
maintenance woman.
(06:51):
Now, ladies are saying there aresome men who are high
maintenance.
That is true.
But I am a man.
So I'm speaking of men to womanright now.
And we'll reverse that as itapplies.
So initially, men get sucked inbecause of the glitz and the
glamour.
of this lady.
(07:12):
She says all the right things.
She has all the right answers.
Maybe the first time you sawher, she shined like that Audi
on that lot.
You liked every detail.
She was well put together.
You liked the way she wore hershoes or how her skin was so
evenly moisturized.
Even that soft scent ofhoneysuckle rose that she was
(07:33):
wearing.
Not to mention she knew how toput her outfits together.
I mean, there's nothing morealluring to a man than a well
put together woman.
I know women like well puttogether men, but we like well
put together women as well.
So women don't often realize howmuch we don't pay attention to
the things they think we do.
Men don't spend a lot of timelooking at your fingernails.
(07:56):
That's for you or for otherwomen.
We don't know if you got yournails done.
We could care less about aMichael Kors bag or your
toenails.
We may like the way your lipgloss is shining on your lips.
We may like the way your hairblows in the wind or the way you
turn red.
Or whatever color you turn whenwe say something that touches
(08:18):
your heart.
All these things are fine, butthey give no indication to
what's really going on on theinside.
How do you ever come to knowwhat's going on the inside of a
person?
So looking at someone's socialmedia page or even talking to
the other person is not a goodindicator.
of the level of maintenance thatis going to be required to
maintain that relationship.
(08:38):
Y'all have heard this before.
Sometimes we start off withexpectations too high.
We start off doing things thatwe can't keep up over a long
period of time.
So it's important to know thathow you start is how you're
going to have to finish it.
And everybody has characterflaws.
And you won't know about thesecharacter flaws until you spend
a little time getting to knowwhat's underneath all things.
(09:01):
Bells and Whistles A flawlessexterior paint job.
And if you like me, you love tohave the right color, match the
(09:23):
rims.
I mean, who doesn't like all thebells and whistles that come
with luxury, right?
Most people that go for luxuryunderstand up front that they're
paying for things that you mightnot be able to get on a standard
price.
Sometimes you have to pay forthe name itself.
Other times you have to pay forvariations of speed.
You have to pay for horsepower.
(09:43):
Sometimes you have to pay foroverall reputation of the brand.
So we live in a TikTok,Instagram world, and everybody
can show you their bells andwhistles.
But I'm afraid that we lackdependability and substance and
quality to go with those bellsand whistles.
What good is there, I think, tofind a girl that doesn't know
(10:04):
how to love you?
What good is a sexy lady who hasanger issues underneath?
I understand now why so manylease their luxury vehicles
because there's a certain periodof time that you can turn that
lease in and upgrade it tosomething else.
And unfortunately, we turn inrelationships like their cars to
be leased because we are fooledbecause we didn't do the
(10:25):
research.
We didn't do the homework.
We didn't take the time out tolook deeper than the exterior,
get the car facts, get thehistory of it.
But let me tell you something.
Women are not automobiles.
And I use this metaphorically toshow us that we have to consider
the total cost before enteringinto a relationship.
There are some ladies, fellasthat you'll come across in your
(10:45):
life that you have to realizethey serve a purpose.
And maybe that purpose is toshow you a good time.
Maybe that purpose is to giveyou someone to laugh with and
someone you can play some sportswith.
And maybe it might be someonewho comes at a season of time of
grief or someone was there toshow you how to be a better
version of yourself.
Maybe she was there to be alistener.
Or to help tutor you throughschool.
(11:09):
Sometimes she's just great tohave on your shoulder and to
compliment you by caring for youand listening to you and being
there to support you.
So realize that.
And realize that there arelevels to this.
Everybody doesn't come at thesame pace, at the same level,
with the same amount of issues.
And so...
(11:30):
We got to stop playing games.
Ladies, fellas with one another.
I mean, you can tell up front,whatever you're doing to reel
her in, lure her in, expensivedinners, promises of trips,
clothes, jewelry.
I guarantee you, if you'rehaving to do all those things to
make her happy, you're going tobe disappointed later.
(11:50):
I think I see a lot ofrelationships where people are
frustrated because...
All they did during the datingperiod was audition for one
another.
Audition by taking you to yourfavorite restaurant, going out
to movies, buying you what youwant, spending time with just
people that love us and know us.
I always say you got to see aperson in all seasons.
(12:14):
What are you like when you wakeup in the morning?
What are you like when somethingdoesn't go your way?
Are you a spoiled, entitledbrat?
Are you a hothead, controlling,narcissistic?
You know, that goes...
For both men and women, I mean,we can be all these things.
What are you when you losesomeone?
How do you respond?
(12:35):
Have you seen them go throughchanges and transitions on the
job?
What about their ownself-appraisal?
How have you seen them value ordevalue themselves as things
have changed?
in their life for the better orfor the worse.
These are all things to considerstrongly.
And there's no guarantee that aCamry won't break down, right?
(12:58):
After all, it still is a car.
And, you know, you can't be...
so cautious to the point whereyou don't move because you,
again, overgeneralizeeverything.
Every luxury car is bad.
No.
But I guarantee you themaintenance on a Mercedes and an
Audi and a BMW is going to costmore than a maintenance on a
(13:21):
Jeep.
You can find those Jeep partseverywhere or a GMC.
And that's just...
the point you got to be carefulwhen you go foreign and some of
us date foreign to us you knowjust people who don't mesh well
with us people who we are notcompatible with and you got to
(13:41):
be compatible with it and justbecause you look good in it
doesn't mean it's a good car foryou everything that's good to
you is not good for you and soladies I don't mean to call you
cars but I It takes a lot tokeep up with some of y'all.
It's just too much.
And maybe you're looking andsaying, well, why can't I?
It's just too much to keep upwith everything that you demand.
(14:05):
You're demanding of everybody inyour life.
And I'm not saying that youshouldn't be demanding, but to
the point where you can pushsomeone away by just being so
high maintenance.
And I think that we have toconsider that.
strongly how we're impactingothers.
And so what can we do, fellas?
(14:26):
Well, I think we got to stopbeing high maintenance as well,
first of all, because it is ourdesire that gets us in trouble
in the first place.
Some of us guys have goodcatches right in front of us,
but we're overzealous.
Don't let there be a guy who Hethinks he has women outnumbered.
(14:47):
He'll surely play the game.
And guys, let's be honest, wehave a difficult time committing
anyway, regardless if that womanis, and I quote, high
maintenance or not.
We just have a difficult timenowadays committing.
But I think that's why thedating process has got to go
back what it was intended to be.
That's a courting process.
It is a...
(15:07):
An incubation period where youdiscover if this is something
that we should go through withor that we want to go through
with, not just so I can have sexor not just so I can have two
incomes or not just so I can notbe lonely anymore, but remember
relationships, especiallymarriages, good marriages,
they're not...
(15:28):
They're not completion pieces.
They're complimentary pieces.
All right.
If you're sitting around waitingfor someone to complete you,
that is a red flag.
If you need this car to completeyou, that is a red flag.
Get it because you want it, notbecause you need it.
Those are two different things.
And so take it how you want todigest it, how you want to
(15:49):
consider it.
think about it share it withsomeone else and most
importantly you got to keep ongoing with me on this journey
down once I knew a girl againjust giving you a little insight
on the book that I have coming afew things again just want to
encourage you to subscribe tothis podcast wherever you can
find it that way when theseepisodes drop you can be sure to
(16:09):
get the notifications and it cancome in also just remind you
have another podcast as well atherapeutic podcast with my
colleague Kim and the podcast iscalled The Gray with Cam and Sam
and you can find it as well onall the other major platforms
and we talk about thingstherapeutic of nature and our
(16:30):
job is or our aim is just toinform to educate it's funny
it's the purpose is to justraise awareness of some of the
things that are going on in therealm of mental health so check
that out as well Well, I want tothank you for joining today.
(16:51):
And I know you're going to behere next time.
Next episode is going to drophere real soon.
So we'll see you next time onOnce I Knew A Girl.
Y'all be great.
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