Inspiration Station - Have You Heard The Bitter Cry?

Experiencing abandonment creates a distinctive pain unlike any other—a "bitter cry" that changes the trajectory of your life and requires more than human relationships to heal.

• The sound of a truly abandoned person differs dramatically from someone temporarily in need
• Biblical example of Esau's "exceeding bitter cry" when his blessing was stolen
• Personal story of chasing a father who was never truly present
• Heart-wrenching experience at a men's retreat when the pastor had no blessing left
• The breakdown point that led to an uncontrollable "bitter cry" in public
• Understanding that abandonment creates wounds that can't simply be "shaken off"
• The only true healing comes from recognizing God as the Father who never leaves
• Years-long journey to freedom from abandonment's grip

Trust in the Father who is in heaven, who is also in you, who will never leave you nor forsake you. Don't put your trust in people who might abandon you.

The bitter cry of abandonment has a sound unlike anything else—distinct and unmistakable once you've heard it or experienced it yourself. I've been there, buckled over in the corner of a church during a men's retreat, wailing uncontrollably as I watched others receive spiritual blessings while I stood empty-handed before my pastor who had nothing left to give me.

This raw, vulnerable episode takes you through my personal journey with what I call "the greatest snare known to man"—abandonment. For years, I chased my absent father, finally connecting with him only to have him pass away before our relationship could truly develop. The unresolved questions and deep sense of rejection created a void that human relationships simply couldn't fill.

Drawing parallels to Esau's biblical story of having his birthright stolen, I share how abandonment wounds don't just hurt—they fundamentally alter your life's trajectory. They create a spiritual and emotional hunger that casual connections can't satisfy. This is why so many men struggle silently with father wounds that manifest in countless ways throughout their lives.

The breakthrough came when I realized only one relationship could heal this profound wound: my connection with my heavenly Father. While people may leave—going "to the store for cigarettes" and never returning—God promises to never leave nor forsake us. This divine constancy became my anchor and salvation from abandonment's destructive power.

If you've experienced rejection, abandonment, or the bitter taste of being overlooked, this episode offers not just sympathy but a pathway toward genuine healing. Share this with someone struggling to overcome abandonment wounds, and together let's discover the Father whose love never fails.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
On this episode of the Inspiration Station, I'm
going to give you a key toovercoming the biggest snare
known to the American man.
As a matter of fact, it's noteven the American man, it's the
global man.
It's man period, no hyperbole.
I think this is going to helpyou.
Welcome back to the All PurposePod for an all-purpose life.

(00:54):
Wherever you are and howeveryou're listening today, call me
Mr U in the Inspiration Station.
Thank you again for making uspart of your week.
This episode may be a littlebit more somber than the others.
I still aspire to encourage youthrough this.
This is a tough topic for mepersonally.
It's a real topic for me.
Have you ever heard the bittercry?

(01:16):
I don't know if this is toographic for you guys, but I'm
just sharing my heart.
This is just what I do, sohopefully you know my heart by
now.
But I've heard the cry of achild who is hungry, crying for
milk.
A baby, an infant.
But have you ever heard thesound of a baby that's starving,

(01:40):
that hasn't had milk or waterin days?
Have you heard that cry?
It's a different sound.
It's a different sound whenyour pet is hungry than when a
pet is starving and hasn't beenfed.
The sound is different.
Am I helping anybody already sofar?

(02:02):
Yet it's a different sound.
Am I helping anybody already sofar?
Yet it's a different sound.
When I talk about a bitter cry,it's a sound.
It's a sound.
I can't even explain the sound,I just know it when I hear it.
I know it because I've made thesound.
It's come out of Mr you.

(02:26):
Let me give you some scripturalexamples for this.
I think it might help out withsome of the context.
Take note of Genesis, the 27thchapter, verse 38.
Excuse me, genesis 27, 38.
Now the situation here is I'lltry to keep it as simple as
possible Two brothers, father,getting ready to die and it's

(02:58):
time for him to pass on theinheritance, speak a blessing
over the two children and givethem their inheritance before he
passes away.
It's a tradition in Hebrewculture and other cultures as
well, but in that culturespecifically, one of the
brothers, with his mom's help,tricks the other brother Into
giving up his Birthright or hisblessing.

(03:19):
So what happened was he usessubterfuge and he pretended to
be his brother, who was huntingto give his father his favorite
make it his father's favoritedish, excuse me.
And while he was out hunting,his brother pretended to be him
back from hunting really earlyto steal his birthright and

(03:41):
steal his legacy and his promise.
So the son who was hunting justto go make a meal for his
father his father loved so muchhis father's favorite dish comes
back and realizes that hisbrother has stole his birthright
.
And now he's confronting hisfather, asking him these
questions have you none but oneblessing, father?

(04:04):
Do you have but one blessing myFather?
Bless me, even me also.
O, my Father and Esau lifted uphis voice and wept.
Genesis 27 and 38.
Esau, the brother that was outhunting for his father's
favorite dish, come back to findout that he didn't have a
blessing left.
It was stolen from him.

(04:31):
You can't hear it because theBible doesn't have sound
attached to it, but hear thewords has thou but one blessing
my father?
Bless me, even me also.
O, my father and Esau lifted uphis voice and wept, and verse
34 says that the sound he madeout of his mouth was a great and

(04:52):
exceeding bitter cry.
I don't know if you even knowwhat that means, what it sounds
like.
Maybe you just live such a goodlife.
You haven't had the opportunityto make a sound like this, but
the bible says it's a great andexceeding.
I mean it's beyond regularcrying, it's.

(05:15):
It's deep and substantial to alevel it produces bitterness.
I know this because I lived it.
I try to make this as short asI can, but this is a powerful
story in my opinion.
Hopefully it impacts you.
But this was months after mynatural father had passed.

(05:39):
I spent my entire life shortstory.
I spent my entire lifebasically trying to find out who
he was.
My mom gave me a picture of himsinging at a nightclub.
I said what my father can sing.
That's where I got the singinggift from, if it wasn't for mom.
She don't sing.
Just to be real about it, shedon't sing, she's watching.
She'll own it.

(05:59):
I ain't talking about it, sheknows, it's true.
She can't sing.
So I know where the singingvoice comes from.
I was singing since I was alittle kid.
So I spent years and I mean thatquite literally chasing him,
trying to find out where he is,get to know him, create a
relationship, try to find outwhy he didn't want to be with me

(06:21):
.
So in that time I found myself,you know, chasing him.
Long story short, finallycaught up to him.
But I didn't get what I waslooking for and he ended up
passing.
I was asked by my little sisterto go bury him the whole deal.
I was bitter but I went aheadand buried him to save all of

(06:41):
his situation, because I justwanted to do that.
It was a God thing, it wasn't aYusef thing, but in that time,
with him passing and having somany unresolved issues, I needed
the validation of communityreally badly.
I was watching the lives of menget blessed and get blessed and
when it was my turn I felt likeI wasn't getting blessed.

(07:04):
And I saw it play out one timeat a two-day ministry.
It was at a church I used to goto many years ago.
I won't name the ministrybecause there's no point in that
, but we went to a two-day men'sretreat and our spiritual
father, the lead pastor of thechurch, was one of the main
people who were praying over allof the men.

(07:24):
Now my dad already passed.
I had unresolved issues.
Nothing got solved.
I went to him, his body on themoor, on the icy slab at the
moor, pounds on his chest,saying you come back, we're not
done yet.
Screaming inside the moorWasn't quite the bitter cry, but

(07:49):
it was was loud.
It could have been that Iscreamed like somebody was
killing me.
You gotta come back, we're notdone.
I got questions.
I need answers.
This is powerful stuff, man,and I'm standing on the line to
be prayed for at this retreatall my friends that I drove with

(08:12):
, all our friends that I'mactive with in the ministry at
the time everybody gettingprayed for and the pastors give
them these incredible words.
He's speaking things over themlike man.
I feel like they were justgetting some of the best words I
ever heard and everybody wasgoing through the line and I was
the next person up.
Almost the entire room gotprayed for.

(08:33):
Basically it was maybe one ortwo people on a different line
getting prayed for.
I was the last one on the linewith my senior pastor.
I put myself in that placebecause I wanted his blessing.
I'll be honest about it.
I needed validation.
I've been serving this ministryfor, I think, about five years.
At a time I said I need you tospeak to me because I'm hurting

(08:57):
right now, and I walked up tohim.
He looked at me with my nameand everything, because I served
in multiple areas of ministryunder his leadership and, like
Esau, when I got to him.
He didn't have anything to giveme.
You can tell on his face.
He didn't even know what topray and I saw it right away and

(09:22):
the hurt that I felt inside mewas palpable.
It was like no hurt I'veexperienced in my entire life.
And I, after he got finishedpraying, I went over to the
corner of the room and I justbuckled.

(09:42):
They were having a service inhere.
I just buckled.
I didn't care who was there.
I didn't care what it soundedlike If I was being a
distraction, are they going tocarry me out?
I didn't care what was going tohappen.
I buckled in that corner and Icried and wailed.
I heard I even heard the soundmyself a few times.

(10:04):
It sounded like what we talkedabout just now An exceeding
bitter cry, and I cried andwailed.
Father, don't you have ablessing for me?
Is there anything for me?
The pain was so unbearable, itwas unnatural.

(10:24):
If I didn't have a wife andchildren at home, I wouldn't
feel like I would have anywhereto go back to.
I felt like I was at the end ofmyself, the end of the road for
me.
I needed to be blessed, Ineeded to be encouraged, I
needed to be inspired.
I needed to be engaged.

(10:44):
I needed to be inspired.
I needed to be engaged, Ineeded to be uplifted.
I'm there with a bunch of menwho were getting theirs.
I wasn't getting anything Ineeded.
That was a portion of what Ifeel, like Esau felt.
Why am I saying all this?
Why am I sharing these storieswith you guys today?
Why am I sharing these storieswith you guys today?

(11:06):
Because somewhere it feels asthough we don't value how
privileged we are to have whatwe have.
I said at the outset, I'm goingto give you a key to overcoming
the biggest snare known to aglobal man, to man himself,

(11:27):
because that snare isabandonment.
When that happens, it changesthe entire trajectory of your
life.
Books like Wild at Heart by JohnEldredge, so many other books,
father by God they speak to thatbecause it's important, it's
spiritual, it's substantial, itmatters, and when you abandon
the spirit that comes with that.
It's something about that, thatit's like it's.

(11:49):
You can't just shake it off.
You can't replace it withpeople and have people stand in
this in their places.
You got to be delivered and setfree from it, because it's that
powerful to be at a place whereyou feel like you've been left,
you've been dropped, to be at aplace where you feel like
you've been left, you've beendropped, you've been forgotten.
It's the kind of pain that youit's hard to shake off.

(12:11):
It took me years to shake itoff, years to get free from it.
To be honest with you, I thinkwe're at the point in the
episode where I can't evenexplain it any further.
I can't go any more than this.
But what I will say is thiswhen I realized the love of the
Father, my Father in heaven,that was the only replacement
for the pain and the abandonment, I realized that a man can

(12:34):
change his mind and leave, go tothe store and get some smokes
and never come back.
But the Father, who is inheaven, is in you and he will
never leave you, nor will heforsake you.
I already cut it short becausetime's against us, but maybe
we'll talk about it again.
But I want you to understandthat If somebody has dropped you
, if they've left you, they'veforsaken you.

(12:55):
God would never do that.
Trust him, don't trust man.
We'll be right back.