***WORLD PREMIERE*** The Men's Roundtable Series - Why Do Men Avoid The Disciplined Lifestyle? - One on One with Mista Yu

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The first.
The table is set One, two,three, four.
Well, this is our very firstepisode.

(00:21):
I can't say welcome back.
This is the men's round tableseries.
I'm your host, mr Eugene, heremoderating.
We got men from around theworld that care about men's
issues.
We're going to talk about thattoday, our very first one, so
I'm excited to be here.
So let's go ahead and get intothis man.
Let's go ahead and jump in, butfirst, before we do that, we
got a lot to introducethemselves.

(00:42):
We can start from Rob, we canstart with you and we're going
down the line.
Man, what's your name?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Where you from.
What are you doing?
Alright, I am RL Corbett, orRod Corbett, coming to you guys
from the Charleston, southCarolina area.
Right now.
I am a 42-year-old husband andfather.
Occupation I am a chemicalanalyst for an environmental
firm.
Basically, I work for the EPA.
Basically, that's the way I canput it.

(01:14):
Inspiring author and life coach.
All of our motivator Ready forthis discussion, man.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Same here, brother, I love it, I love it All.
Right, great Come discussion,man.
Same here, brother, I love it,I love it All right, Trey, come
on, man.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
Good evening fellas.
My name is Trey Jones.
I am also from will live in theCharleston area.

(01:52):
Originally from the upstate ofSouth Carolina, I am a
engineering manager at VolvoCars, so Volvo Cars built the
factory in the Charleston area,so I moved here to work for them
about eight years ago.
I am a husband of 25 years andhave two adult children, and I'm
also excited to be a part ofthis panel.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
Aaron.
Come on, brother, how's itgoing?
Everybody, my name is AaronGamble.
I am on the West Coast, in theWest side of Los Angeles.
I work as a full-time lifecoach and men's group
facilitator, and my mission isto help people reclaim their own

(02:31):
narrative, to take back theirstory, whatever that may be.
I'm also a father of two youngkids.
I have an 8 and 10-year old,and I am a co-parent.
I've navigating this, this lifeas a as a divorced dad.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
I love it.
I love it.
All right, mark, come onbrother.

Speaker 6 (02:57):
Hey guys, mark Hugee, I am in the Moncks Corner area
suburb of Charleston.
I'm in the Moncks Corner area,the suburb of Charleston.
Born and raised here inCharleston, I moved away about
in 1995.
So I've been gone for quite awhile in Charlotte, north

(03:18):
Carolina, but my wife and Imoved back home in 2019.
And I am a dad of twins 56.
And my dad and twins will soonbe nine years old.
So I'm trying to stay young, tokeep up.

(03:38):
But, yeah, I'm excited aboutthis.
I'm a contractor right here inthe Charleston area and I am
really, really excited for theinvitation.
I'm humbled to be a part ofthis group of guys trying to

(03:59):
make a difference, trying tomake an impact.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Love it, brian.
You're up brother.
Thank you, mark.
Brian, you're up.

Speaker 6 (04:06):
Yeah, so I'm Brian Capers.
I am from the metropolis ofSantee, south Carolina.
The population of trees isabout 10 billion.
I'm sorry, but I'm aconstruction management project
manager by trade.
Um and um, yeah, this, this isvery needed.

(04:29):
I'm I'm excited to be of uhthis discussion and dialogue uh
with brother.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
So I'm looking forward to it.
Same here, brother.
All right, vad you're up?

Speaker 7 (04:41):
hey, good day everybody.
My name is Vad Lee, as youmight see, or maybe not see Full
name is Lavadier, but go by Vad.
I'm originally from Durham,north Carolina, but I live here
in Charleston, south Carolina.
Now.
It's funny, I used to saygrowing up that I was from the
real Carolina and somehow Ifound myself in South Carolina.

(05:03):
So which one is real?
I'm still trying to figure thatout, but I am.
My background.
My background is chaplaincy, inparticular, sports chaplaincy.
I'm also a national publishedauthor and professional speaker,
so I go around traveling to,specifically a lot of NFL and

(05:24):
college football teams has beenmostly my background, but also
have had the opportunity to gocorporate as well, and so I'm
excited to be on here.
I work with a lot of men,mentor a lot of young men
especially, and excited to be onwith a plethora of knowledge
from different people, differentmen around the world.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
He's played for my old team too, so I mean my
former team.
So I'm like I'm loving this.
All right, rich, you're up, man, go ahead brother.

Speaker 8 (05:50):
All right, so my name's Richard.
I'm 48 years old.
I've been married going onlet's see here almost 19 years.
I have two boys, 10 and 13.
Me and Yusef go way back sowhen we used to live back in

(06:12):
tampa.
So so yeah, um, I currentlyjust started a new job.
I work currently work for umripple fiber as a sales
consultant.
So I'm going around knocking ondoors trying to get people
signed up.
So it's definitely daunting,especially in this hot weather,
but I've been all over.
It's a pleasure to be part ofthis group and beat off you guys

(06:32):
and also see if I can help you,help people as well.
That's just.
My passion is trying to helppeople and help men.
Past hurts, past addictions,whatever the case may be.
So I love it.
The legendary John be so gladto be here.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Thank you, brother, I love it.
The legendary John G, you're up, sir?

Speaker 3 (06:49):
All right, thanks, jesus.
John Janakis, 64 years old, sixmonths away from retirement
Whoop, whoop, you look great.
Yes, originally from New Jersey, but I live here in Charleston,
south Carolina.
So I like to say I'm anortherner by birth, but
southerner by the grace of God.
So, I've been married for 41years and my wife and I have a

(07:15):
passion for marriages.
We had a rough time that wewent through almost got divorced
and married for about 20 yearsand the Lord helped us through
that.
And ever since then we've had apassion for marriages.
We at our church, north Palm,we serve with Brian Capers in

(07:36):
marriage ministry and serve withYusef in the deliverance
ministry.
But my wife and I got ordainedand are we're ready for chapter
two and chapter two is going tobe full time working for the
Lord and helping people in theirmarriages.
So that's our passion and andthat's that's where the Lord has
given us authority.

(07:56):
So that's that's our story.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I love that I love that chance.
You ready to tell us who youare, man, you here, you in and
out, you here today.
Chance, I'm going to give youthe count of three, brother.
And then we got to keep onmoving.
Can you hear me?

Speaker 8 (08:20):
I'm not the good one, all right.
So that's at you, all right.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
All right.
So that's an awesome guy man.
I can hear from him, all right.
But just to be clear, kind ofjumping in right now, watching
and listening wherever you are.
This is not just an opportunityfor another group.
This is not for us to have agripe session.
I'm hearing and I think all theguys on this call you told me

(08:46):
that personally.
I know you hear it too.
There's a cry coming out frommen around the world.
We struggle with a lot ofthings that we don't do well.
We have some inabilitysometimes to accomplish things,
sometimes even an unwillingnessthat we'll get into on later
shows and stuff.
But for the most part, we got abig responsibility on our

(09:07):
shoulders as men, and the worlddoesn't make it better.
So we would have had thisopportunity to have this safe
space to talk about things thatare germane to us, things that
matter to us.
So if you're watching andlistening, I'm totally cool with
the comments.
You can ask us individualquestions if you'd like to.
If it's out of pocket, it's notgoing to happen, but if it's to
the point, we'll let it come onair and we'll go ahead and

(09:30):
discuss it.
I have our panelists speak tothose things specifically and
we'll keep the conversationgoing, but today we're going to
talk about why do men avoid thediscipline in life A lot of
places we can start with men'sissues.
I'm not surprised that we'restarting there, but I really
believe it is a powerful topicbecause athletes have

(09:51):
disciplined lives, ceos andcoaches and stuff have
disciplined lives.
For some reason as a whole, mennormally avoid it.
So I know you guys got insights.
I've already heard from youguys on some of this already, so
we can kind of do it popcornstyle.
Whoever has a thought.
But just generally speaking, doyou guys have a discipline

(10:13):
lifestyle going right now?
Who can speak to that?
If you don't be honest, I don'thave one, but I want to have
one.

Speaker 6 (10:24):
Well, I have to say, it's a work in progress for me
and that's that's because, youknow, I work out and um, and I
work out because it helps medevelop discipline around my
life, because it keeps melooking forward to something, um
, and it keeps me, you know, uh,challenging myself and pushing

(10:47):
myself.
When there's a work in progressit's because, you know, a
disciplined life is amultifaceted thing, so it
doesn't just cover one area oflife, it covers all of it.
And so, honestly, I think, justbeing honest, I could tell that

(11:08):
there are things in my lifethat still needs improvement,
but for me, a disciplined lifeis my goal, is to develop that
in every aspect of my life.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
I would have to agree with Brian on that.
That's a loaded question really.
As far as a disciplined life, Icould say for the most part,
yes, but there are areas where Icould do a lot better in.
You know, as far as being afather husband, going to work

(11:50):
every day like clockwork, it'sroutine.
But then there's other areas Ineed help with eating, working
out.
I may be good for two or threemonths, then I'm going to fall
off the wagon.
I'm going to eat candy all day.
So there's a lot of differentareas that I need help in.
As far as being moredisciplined, even with my
reading and studying and thingsof that nature, I would like to
be more disciplined with thatBecause, like I said, I can be

(12:12):
good for two, three months andthen a dry spell will come and I
just fall off and then I haveto pick myself back up and get
back on the wagon, so to speak.
So it's a work in progress.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
I think it's definitely a work in progress
for me too.
Everything you just said.
You were talking about me too.
I mean, certain things are justlike clockwork I get up every
day and I go to work.
I, you know, I provide for myfamily, I take care of my family

(12:58):
, but then there are otheraspects in life where, yeah, I
have the mindset to do it, butyou start it and then, you know,
you use the words fall off thewagon.
I've been same, same here, um,so definitely some work in
progress.

Speaker 5 (13:19):
I think that this is actually a really tough thing
for us as men in this day andage.
I mean, we live in a time wherethere is so much distraction,
there's so much information,there's so many things that
creates discipline becomes a lotharder.
You have social media, all thisinformation, all these these

(13:42):
things that we can do that makeit hard to stay disciplined.
We've got more choices thanever now.
You go to the grocery store andjust look at the cereal aisle
and see how many choices youhave to have something that may
not be necessarily healthy orwhatever.
It's a really tough thing.
We live in a world with so muchinformation and and I think our

(14:06):
minds can only take so much,it's it's like a like, you know,
like in computer terms, it'slike bandwidth, like we, our
brains, have only so muchbandwidth then.
Then you get overloaded and andyou know, discipline goes out
the window and you, you knowwhatever, whatever that thing is
, comes in and and you know it's, it's soothing to to have

(14:29):
whatever that is, and for somepeople it's alcohol or candy, or
, you know, sitting on the couchwatching tv, like it's.
There's all these differentoptions that we have that that
make it tough to really bedisciplined.
I?
I think it's harder than evernowadays.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yeah, aaron, I love that.
I would tag onto that saying Ithink sometimes one of our worst
enemies is being overcommittedand being committed to too many
things.
You know, I, I.
One of the things that my wifeand I talk a lot about is
priorities.
And what are the priorities inyour life?
Because sometimes we can bereal disciplined with priority

(15:11):
number seven, but what aboutpriority one and two and three?
You know, and if you don't knowwhat those priorities are first
you have to identify them Tosay what are the real priorities
in my life and if I can bedisciplined with the top one or
two, maybe that's a success.
Maybe, if I can go on to numberthree, I have one, two and three

(15:31):
in the right order.
There may be some other thingsI'd love to change.
How important are those thingsthat I'd love to change?
Sometimes they're veryimportant.
I mean, if you're abusingalcohol, it's going to affect
everything right, or any othersubstance or some sort of habit,
and I think that's one area ofthe discipline, but the other is
I love the seven habits ofhighly successful people by

(15:54):
stephen covey, one of myfavorite books, and one of the
things that he talks about habitnumber two is begin with the
end in mind.
Well, what does good look like,what does good look like?
And if you know what good lookslike and you can prioritize,
how do I get there?
Maybe I can focus on those andall those other distractions.
They're going to come and go,but if I get the top three

(16:16):
things right, maybe I'll make itsome progress.
That's how I tend to look at it.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
That's one of my top ten books, man.
I love it, John.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 6 (16:26):
Who else I?
think discipline and focus kindof go hand in hand.
Pretty much.
I know myself I have to as aguy that's been diagnosed with
ADHD.
I just found that out, thatdiagnosis, just just, uh, I just

(16:51):
found that out, uh, three, two,three years ago, wow, okay.
So, so, um, lists is big for me.
I need structure.
I have to have a list in orderfor me to get everything done,
because I want to, especially athome, if I see somebody that

(17:16):
needs help, even if I don't seeit, if I hear it, I want to drop
what I'm doing and go and help.
But then I got two or threedifferent projects that's still
open, you know.
So I need to have structure.
I have to have this list, Ihave to.
Okay, what am I doing tomorrow?

(17:37):
Okay, what's the most importantthing?
And, logistically, where do Ineed to start?
I'll start at the furthestpoint out and work my way.
I have to have systems, unlessI'm just, I'm in a mess.
So that's, that's, that's mything.
But I could still use more work,some improvement when it comes

(18:00):
to things like, things like andI've also learned to give myself
grace when I kind of, when Ikind of, you know, fall off the
wagon, like Rod said, you knowthings like not.
I wanted to get into this, this,this, this regimen as far as

(18:22):
reading the word, reading,reading my Bible and really
studying, reading the word,reading my Bible and really
studying.
But for a while I would heardifferent people have
conversations and I would heartheir resume and I would hear
their, their, the way they goabout it.
I really like that.
I wonder if I could implementthat.
But that's for them, that thatworks well for them and doesn't

(18:46):
always work well for me and Iused to beat myself up for it
not looking like this, like Ithink it should.
But I started giving myselfgrace, started learning to give
myself grace because, suppose,if I want to spend a certain
amount of time reading orstudying, suppose I don't do it

(19:09):
just for an hour straight,suppose I break it up.
I have to learn different waysto get the job done and not beat
myself up and just give myselfgrace to survive that.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Good stuff, man, I like it.
Man, all right, rich, you wantto jump in there, or are we
moving on to the next question?

Speaker 8 (19:32):
Everybody with what everybody's been saying.
It also helps to have someoneto keep you disciplined, like,
for instance, for people thatare married.
It's good to have a spouse thatis going to keep you grounded,
keep you accountable.
But if you don't have that, youknow, have a friend, you know

(19:55):
it definitely helps that youhave someone that's going to do
that for you, because I know forme I mess up all the time.
You know you can ask my wife.
We got in a huge argument thismorning, you know, about
finances.
But because I'm not all thetime, you can ask my wife.
We got in a huge argument thismorning about finances.
I'm not going to lie, I like tospend money.
She's a saver.
She found that, oh, you've beenputting money on a credit card.

(20:18):
What have you been doing?
Remember, I've been out of workfor almost two, almost three
months.
I just started a job.
I've been out of work foralmost two, almost three months.
You know I just started a joband you know the connections are
like the people that used tokeep me accountable, other than
my wife, are down in Florida.
So you know it's kind of hard,you know.
So you know I like to playvideo games.

(20:39):
I like to watch movies.
That costs money.
It's not free, you know.
Yes, we have Netflix, yes, wehave Amazon Prime and things
like that, but there's thingsthat unfortunately, are not on
there and I will go out.
If there's a sale going on, Iwill go out and buy it.
And she's like what's going on?
All these charges on this Xboxcard?

(20:59):
I thought you said you got ridof it.
I never told you I got rid of it.
And then we take our kids todaycare throughout the week and
it's not cheap.
So I've been funding into thecredit card because right now,
until I start making money, ourfinances are very limited.
So I keep telling her that it'slike I'm sorry, you know I've

(21:22):
told you that I've been doingthat.
I've had three flat tires inless than six months.
You know you got to give mesome grace, but you know I
understand her on her side thatshe's also trying to keep me
accountable for you know sayinghey, you know you're going above
and beyond what you're supposedto be spending your money on or

(21:43):
our money on.
So that's where I need to bemore disciplined on what I do
you know and it helps that youhave someone there in your
corner that can also give yougrace, you know because like,
hey, you've made a mistake, well, let's move on, let's just try
not do it again, let's you know,let's do better next time.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
So that's just my two cents, okay.

Speaker 7 (22:08):
Yeah, thanks for sharing.
I would definitely.
I'll add in really quickly.
First of all, what everybodyhas said I'm in alignment with.
I love that we're talking aboutdiscipline in terms of a
pursuit right, discipline interms of desire, discipline in
terms of that's where I want tobe as a former Well, as an

(22:33):
athlete I'm not going to sayformer as an athlete and playing
at the highest level.
I will say that I've noticedtrends in my discipline when,
when football season is around,I tend to be a little bit more
disciplined.
That's when my grades was better.
That's when, like from littleleague, it's almost having that
accountability, having thatthing that, like Richard talked

(22:59):
about, having like somebody else, like a wife or somebody else.
For me, growing up it wasfootball.
I knew that I had to make goodgrades in order to play, or my
mom was going to take me out ofthe game, and so, even in
college, you know, I always hadbetter grades when it was the
fall versus the spring, becausethe spring is where you, like

(23:21):
Aaron talked about, is where youexperience a little bit more
freedom, you got choices, yougot a little bit more time to do
other things, and so I noticedthat discipline in my life has
been mostly seasonal discipline,right, where I can be
disciplined for a season, andthen all of a sudden my
discipline is no longer there,right, and even though I'm no

(23:45):
longer playing ball, I will saythat, like, it's still one of
those trends that's in my life,because that's kind of what I'm
used to doing.
And so the question for me islike hey, are you going to be
disciplined or are you going tobe disobedient?
You know, I think disciplineties closely with obedience,

(24:06):
right, and disobedience.
Either you're going to beconsistent in your discipline or
you're not.
And so every day, I believethat we all probably get
challenged within ourdisciplines that we've created,
and it's a good thing because itkeeps us pursuing for
excellence, pursuing to do wellin our disciplines.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
I love it.
It actually has gold.
It's really interesting to hearthe different perspectives.
The word discipline comes froma former two word, but it means
people to be learned or be alearner, and I think about this.
I think about long-termintentionality, having a
standard for what you're tryingto accomplish making progress.

(24:52):
One of you guys mentionedsomething regarding progress and
growth.
I think that's all kind ofpipes in to what discipline is
really all about, and it's likewhen I hear somebody say you
know what a disciplinedlifestyle it makes me think
about, okay, I can't do this fora week.
Somebody say you know what adisciplined lifestyle it makes
me think about okay, I can't dothis for a week and then say you
know what I'm living?
A disciplined lifestyle.

(25:12):
This is a long-term intentionaljourney that you're on and in
order to be on it, you got tostay on it.
If you get off of it, it kindof almost defeats the point.
So I want to ask you a questionjust several questions I have
for you, you guys.
Hopefully we have enough timeto get into it.
Do you believe personally, thatthe key to discipline starts

(25:32):
and ends with you?
Anybody can start there withthat response.
Do you believe that the key toan effective discipline
lifestyle starts and ends withyou personally.

Speaker 8 (25:46):
I would say yes, I agree.
So, essentially, you know, ifyou're not the one that you know
, you got to put your your.
If it is dealing with you, withyour discipline, you have to be
the one that actually starts itand also ends it, you know, and
that, depending on how youstarted and how you ended, it's

(26:12):
really up to you because, likeyou know, um, what you're being
disciplined with, or what aboutyou know, like with me, it could
be finances.
I've got to learn that, hey,can we afford this right now,
like, if I'm, if I'm going tonot be disciplined enough to say
, hey, you know, yeah, I'm stillgoing to not be disciplined
enough to say, hey, you know,yeah, I'm still going to spend
the money, you know, then I'mnot being disciplined, I'm not
being, you know, I'm not being,I'm not using what God has given

(26:34):
me, you know, as you know, andusing it correctly, and I'm not
being disciplined enough to useit correctly.
So, but yes, it starts and alsoends with you, you know.
So it could be a good ending,it could be a bad ending.
It really depends on the person.
You know something, you know,but hopefully, if you have
someone alongside you, they'regoing to help you along the way

(26:56):
with that discipline, saying,hey, you know you did this,
what's going on, what's you knowwhat's causing you to stumble?
Or, good job, you're doing agreat job on whatever you're
trying to be disciplined at.
If you're in sports, hey, youjust made a 50-yard touchdown.
That was awesome.
You're running a 40-yard dash,that's just awesome.

(27:24):
It really ties in with yes, itstarts with and ends with you,
and it also really helps if youhave someone that's going to be
a positive motivator to you.
But there's also people thatalso can track from you as well.
So you got to make sure youhave those right people that are
going to be big, uh, bigpromoters for you.
When you are doing good and bad, they're going to show you when
, hey, this is you know you'redoing good, but you're.

(27:45):
They're going to tell you when,hey, you're doing good, but
whenever you're doing bad,they're going to point you out
and say, hey, you're messing up.
You need to correct your coursebecause if you don't, you're
going to fail, whatever you'retrying to be disciplined at.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Let's jump in behind, richard, real quick.
Like you said, it does beginand end with you.
Just an old cliche says thatyou can lead a horse to water
but you can't make them drink.
So even though we have thosemotivators, we may have those
catalysts in our lives, it'sstill ultimately up to us,

(28:20):
because you can lay the plan outfor me.
But if I don't decide to followthat plan, it's no good.
It must begin with you.
I can't want it more than youwant it.
And another cliche, like mygrandfather, used to say what
you eat, don't make me go to thebathroom.
That's what it is.

(28:42):
So what you decide to do inyour life really doesn't affect
me as far as where I'm going,what motivates me, what I'm
going to achieve or not achieve.
I have to want it, I have tomake that decision and I have to
move forward.
Again, you cannot make a horsedrink, even if you lead him to

(29:03):
the water.
It has to go with you.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
It is a choice.

Speaker 6 (29:10):
It's a choice.
It's a choice, it's free will,it's a God-given right.
You have to make that choice.
To make that choice, you haveto have a reason why you went
making that choice.
You have to have a reason whywhy you went making that choice

(29:30):
and that's that's, that's the,that's your motivator.
You know, and if you, if youfind yourself getting off track,
if you go back to that reasonwhy you believe that you should
be disciplined in that area,then that that that can be a
motivator to help you get backon track.
But it's definitely a you thing, because it's a choice and

(29:52):
that's that's a choice that onlyyou can make.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
That's a choice that only you can make.
I love this RL, bringing upthat old school.
Like my grandfather used to say, you could lead a horse to
water, but you can't make himdrink.
And I actually use that a lotnow in my coaching because
you're right and, mark, you'realso right.
It really comes down to choices.
We make a ton of choices in ourlives all the time.

(30:17):
Right, it really comes down tochoices.
We make a ton of choices in ourlives all the time.
I could choose to write this,you know, content that I need to
create or scroll on my phone.
That's a choice and that comesdown to the discipline.
Somebody you know you could beout with your friends and
everybody's going out to havebeers and you make a choice
whether you're going to go, stayout late and get up.

(30:38):
Get up, you know, not get upearly to work out or do what you
do in the morning.
That's a choice.
So it definitely comes down toyou know, to to your own choices
, and we make unconscious andconscious choices all the time
anybody else.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
Anybody else.

Speaker 7 (31:03):
Yeah, yeah, I love the conversation.
I guess I'm thinking a littledifferently with this question.
I do believe that disciplinethe question is very interesting
.
Does discipline start and endswith you?
The focus seems to be about you, but because I work with a lot

(31:24):
of young people, I realize thatyou don't know what you don't
know a young person to make theright decision without being
taught or discipled or led orencouraged or supported along

(31:44):
the way, then they might notknow how to live a disciplined
lifestyle.
And if you don't know how, ifyou've never seen that model,
then you think what you're doingis right and all it takes is
somebody to come and say, hey,have you thought about it this
way?
Have you done it this way?
A mentor to come in your lifeand say, hey, have you thought

(32:06):
about this?
Have you considered this?
Have you considered the choices?
When you are a man that'scheating on your spouse, right,
cheating on your wife, right?
Do you understand theconsequences?
I personally wouldn'tunderstand discipline without my
faith in Christ and withouthaving real men and mentors in

(32:30):
my life.
Right, because I could havelived a life where, you know, my
father was strung out on drugsand crack cocaine.
I could have followed suit,because what is he teaching me,
right?
What is that teaching me aboutlife?
Of course, you know, thank God,that I didn't follow his steps
or whatever, but in terms ofwhen I got older, I realized

(32:55):
through wisdom that we're allone step away, or one mistake
away, from living a differentlifestyle, or living or being
strung out on whatever, whetherthat's pornography, crack,
cocaine, whether that's women,right, we're all one choice away
.
And, yes, it takes disciplineto restraint from those things.
But then, taught thatdiscipline, it's not a journey

(33:17):
by yourself.
I will say that.
So, yes, yes, yes, I'm having ahard time fully saying yes to
that question, but I don'tdisagree with what anybody said
so far.
However, I do want to just addit's not a journey that you can
do by yourself.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Before anybody else jumps in, I'm going to go ahead
and jump in real quick beforeyou come in.
Brian, it wasn't intended to beloaded on purpose, but I wanted
to kind of take it a little bitmore broadly.
Hopefully I won't suddenly readmy own show, but for me I feel
as though, even though I can sayyes a bit uncomfortably, I can

(33:55):
say yes to the question.
I really feel like my faith andmy belief in God is my compass,
and if I don't have that, guesswhat my discipline are going to
be rooted and grounded in me.
It's going to be about what Iwant, who.
I think I am my own personalself-image.
You know how that works.
People can tell you all yourlife you're going to be my own

(34:16):
personal self-image, and thatcan come from a lot of different
places.
You know how that works.
People can tell you all yourlife you're going to be a
baseball player, and it's partof your self-image.
Until you get released from theteam.
Then guess what?
What happened to yourself-image then?
So for me, my compass is a bigpart of how I stay on the
journey.
I can't do that just because ofmy determination or

(34:38):
quote-unquote that dreaded wordmy passion.
That can't keep me there.
Passion won't get me up at 3o'clock in the morning to go
running, to get out of bed at 5o'clock to go on a commute.
I need something more thanpassion, and just my own
self-determination, if you will.
So I love what Vad said.
Go ahead, brian, you can jumpin there.

Speaker 6 (34:58):
Yeah, I was just going to say I totally agree
with LeVadier, because that'sexactly where I was going with
it.
That's where my mindset was isbecause I know me and I'm not
preloaded with that.
It comes from the outside.
I need the information in orderto know what the standard is.
What am I being disciplined for?
You know what am I gearing upmy discipline life for?

(35:22):
You know, what am I shootingfor?
What's my goal?
That comes externally.
Yeah, I have to choose that, Ihave to make that decision, but
ultimately I'm deciding to dosomething that comes from the
external.
And it's like I was in a truckthe other day, moving truck.
I had the privilege of ridingwith a boxer, an ex-boxer, for

(35:46):
two hours and we were justtalking about this type of stuff
and he shared with me how, youknow, back in the 70s.
You know, his first major checkfrom boxing was like $22,000.
And because he didn't have theproper information, bob wrecked

(36:08):
his whole life with that onecheck, but he didn't know to not
do certain things.
So that discipline and I agreetotally with LeVitier's
perspective, I agree witheveryone, but more so in the

(36:28):
lines of it comes with theinformation you're fed.
It comes with the informationyou're fed, then now the next
step is now.
You choose that.
Now you make a decision basedon what you have learned from
the external Love it.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Locked up.
I'm going to come in here realquick before somebody jumps in
Hold on.
Real quick, lock up.
But in your mind I did have acomment for us, discipline is
the bridge between goals andaccomplishments.
Thanks, lock, great comment.
Appreciate that, all right,who's next Go?

Speaker 2 (36:59):
ahead, just for a topic of discussion, since we're
in here and Iron Chopper's Iron.
I agree with everyone saying,especially about the external
motivators and the factors noman is an island.
We need each other.
We can't get to our destinationalone.
However, I still would have topush back and say it still

(37:24):
begins with you.
The reason I say that is we taketwo brothers who grew up in the
same household.
They got the same lessons.
They had the same peopleteaching them, they went to the
same lessons, had the samepeople teaching them, they went
to the same teacher, they hadthe same mentor and some of this

(37:45):
what I'm speaking to.
We know people like this in ourfamilies.
We got all the same learning,all the same teaching, yet one
goes on to choose life and theother one goes on to choose the
bad road.
So my question would be then ifwe're all getting the same

(38:06):
teaching, doesn't it still beginwith you?
You have to make the choice tofollow those steps, to follow
those mentors, because we'regetting the mentors.
I mean two students, sameteaching, one passes, the other
one fails, one decides to study,the other one doesn't, but

(38:30):
they're getting the sameteaching, same mentors.

Speaker 6 (38:37):
Okay and I like what you said, but I think, for me, I
just believe that disciplinerequires a standard and the
teaching is the standard, and sothe decision, yeah, that's
yours, but teaching is thestandard and that's the platform
on which discipline is built,is the standard, and I think

(38:58):
everyone needs that.
We need to have that platformand that foundation in order to
build a disciplined life, inorder to make decisions that are
true, because otherwise, how dowe know what is true?
How do we know what is right?
We have to believe that what weare hearing is right and true
and, in order to make thedecision, to follow that, and

(39:21):
then, if we obviously, if wechoose the opposite, then we
believe that something elsemight be true also.
You understand.
So discipline requires thatfoundation in order to be
established.
That's just my perspective,that's just my belief.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
Brian, I'd love to build on that a little bit.
We work with a lot of marriedcouples and, as men, that's a
very important part of our lives.
For those who are married oraspiring to be married, it's
very important.
And what we found is somecouples are very motivated, some
couples are not very motivated.
Sometimes she's motivated andhe's not.

(39:57):
Sometimes he's motivated andhe's not.
Sometimes he's motivated andshe's not.
But even if they're motivated,discipline for the sake of
discipline might lead younowhere.
It's good one.
It's what?
What do you?
What are you trying toaccomplish in a marriage?
Many times, we will give coupleslots of suggestions regarding

(40:19):
finances, regarding intimacy,regarding communication I mean
lots of different topics.
Right, and we've learned a lotand we try and impart a lot to
married couples and in somecases, their mindset is based on

(40:40):
how they were raised, based onthe example of their parents or
their friends or the culture,and that's their frame of
reference, that's kind of theirinput.
And we say, well, what does Godsay about marriage?
What's God's plan for marriage?
Because we didn't know, wedidn't grow up in Christian

(41:00):
households, right?
So when we ran into our brickwall, that's ultimately the
question that we came up to youknow what is God's plan for
marriage.
So when we had that convictionthen that we were going to do
whatever it took to fix themarriage, aha, then we could

(41:21):
start to move forward.
It took a desperation, it tooka conviction, and then you can
be disciplined about something.
Because if you're justdisciplined because you know you
have a conviction, okay, it'sgot to be a strong enough
conviction to get through thosehard times when you're against
the wall, when you hit the wallin the marathon, when you hit

(41:42):
the wall in your marriage andyou say there's no exit door.
I made a covenant, not acontract.
I made a covenant with my wifeand I'm going to see this thing
through and I'm convicted, and Ihave a conviction to do it the
way that God wants me to do it.
So I need to learn, I need tochange, I need to be open to
change, I need to take on maybesome new ideas and new thoughts

(42:06):
that are different from what mynature has been.
And now I've got to take on anew nature.
If I'm going to make that goal,I've got to take on a new
nature.
If I'm going to make that goal.
I got to take on a new nature.
So I really think it comes fromhaving that conviction about
what.
What does good look like, whatis right, where do I want to go
and, ultimately, what am I goingto be successful in life.

(42:28):
And when you have that, thenyou got to get the right inputs.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
So I'm adding some new wrinkles to this
conversation.
You know what's going to happen, but what I'm hearing in the
when I think about disciplineand when I lay stuff out and
deal with things and somebodymentioned it earlier, but we
didn't get a lot of time to kindof flesh it out we need to do
that right now.
The accountability piece thereare many in this, in this, in

(42:55):
this room.
That may may apply.
This may not.
Some of you may cringe at theidea of letting somebody mentor
you who's younger than you, oryou may cringe at the idea of
mentoring somebody because youdon't feel like you're at the
place where you can really help,because you've got so much
stuff going on in your life.
Tell me where you see theaccountability piece on this

(43:17):
discipleship journey.
Discipleship, that was it.
Well, yeah, I know that's notwhere I'm trying to go today,
but with the accountability inthis discipline journey.
So can I speak to that?
I want to hear from everybodyon this one.
Go ahead.

Speaker 7 (43:34):
Well, I'll share, since you messed up and used the
word disciple instead ofdisciple, but I think about
Matthew 28, 19, when Christtells us therefore, go share the
gospel to all nations, allnations baptizing them in the
name of the Father, son and theHoly Spirit.
When I think about disciplineand I think about mentorship, I

(43:58):
also think about discipleship.
I think about, you know, am Ibeing mentored right now and who
am I meant?
Who's mentoring me and who am Imentoring right?
Who's discipling me?
Who am I discipling?
You know, I think of even going.
Earlier, when we was talking,one of the scriptures that came
to mind was in a child and wherethey should go Right.

(44:20):
When I was a boy, I thoughtlike a boy, but when I became a
man, I put away the childishthoughts, I put away the
childish things and I became aman.
And so, you know, my feedbackis discipline is based on being
trained to go.
You can't go and do all thethings that Christ said to go if

(44:42):
you haven't prepared to go, ifyou haven't been disciplined to
go, if you haven't beendiscipled to go, if you haven't
been trained to go.
I am not prepared to go and doall of these things if that is
not in place.
And so a lot of times when I,when I, like you know, for
example, like I know theconsequences of, if it was up to

(45:06):
me, when I see a pretty girl,if it was that that will
probably do something crazy,right, but because of the
discipline and theaccountability that I have
through the word of God, throughChrist, and I know that that's
not, I'm disciplined enough toknow that's not what I should do
because of the word, then thatkeeps me now grounded.

(45:27):
And now my wife get benefitedfrom it because of the word.
It's not even because of her,it's because of the word and my
relationship of me beingdiscipled by men, older men,
wiser men, men, that's beenthere and done that.
Right, because God can use allthings.
There's no experience that'sbigger than God, right, and God

(45:50):
uses all experiences.
He will use everything.
And so, yeah, I think about allof those things, those
scriptures that come to mind andjust wanted to offer that and
offer that.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Thank you, sir.
Who else Accountability?

Speaker 2 (46:04):
OK, well, if you ain't doing it, that's OK.
We talk about accountability.
I look at it from two two sideshere.

Speaker 8 (46:17):
I look at it from two sides here.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
First God always showed me two sides, he always
showed me, other people but healways showed me me first.
With that being said, you haveto be self-accountable.
Too often we want to put theblame on somebody else what I

(46:40):
didn't get.
Someone didn't give me this,someone didn't show me that,
someone didn't teach me that?
Wow, my own stories.
Like me and my father had anexchange relationship, so there
was a lot of things when itcomes to being a father, being a
husband, with finances.
I didn't learn any of thatstuff from him.

(47:00):
I had to make up the decisionokay, god, this is where you
want me to be.
So now I need to pursue whereit is you want me to be.
So I need to find who I need toconnect with.
I need to read the books that Ineed to read, because I had to
hold myself accountable when Iwas a child.
That's one thing, but, like yousaid, when I was a child, I
thought as a child, but now thatI'm a man, I put away childish

(47:22):
things.
So, as a man, I can't stand onthe ooh, no one taught me
anything.
Now I have to pull up my boots,get out there in the field and
learn it.
I have to be willing to do thisand I have to hold myself
accountable.
Now, on the other side of it, wealso need accountability

(47:42):
partners, because, as we, as wesaid, we cannot do this alone.
If you try to do it alone, youwill get beat down.
I mean, let's just think aboutthe world as men.
We got social media telling uswhat a man is.
We got women on social media no, no, no offense to women but we
got women on social mediatelling you what a man is and

(48:05):
what a man ain't.
And you know, you got all theseavenues coming at you, all this
information coming in, butwhat's the truth?
And the only way we can findthe truth is in the word of God.
Then we got to find godlycounsel.
But you have to pursue that.
You can't just sit back and say, oh, woe is me.
You have to actively pursue itand then humble yourself,

(48:28):
because sometimes the lesson maycome from a child, sometimes
the lesson will come fromsomebody that doesn't look like
you.
You have to humble yourself andbe willing to learn those
lessons, and not only learnthose lessons but then act on
what you learn.

Speaker 6 (48:47):
That's what I was going to go with that, the
humility route, because you saidsomething about would you be
willing to learn from somebodywho's younger than you?
And I think that takes a lot oftimes humility to do that,

(49:08):
especially if the teachingstyles you know, that can be a
little tough to deal with ifit's somebody younger.
But if you value what they haveand if somebody's got tenure in
whatever area of life or field,then I believe that you should

(49:32):
yield to that Case in point.
You know, my wife and I, westarted having our kids late,
much later on in life.
I was almost 48 when kids camealong.
Yeah, my nieces and nephews,their kids are twice the age of

(49:59):
ours, some of them Gosh.
So they, although I've beenaround longer and I'm old enough
to be a granddad, they havewalked down some paths that I
haven't yet.
As far as being a parent.
Now I can teach them somethings about just being able to

(50:22):
share things because I've beenaround longer.
But as far as in that avenue ofbeing a parent, there are some
things that they can tell usabout.
Okay, here's what you do.
You go to this store, you go tothat store.
When you get to this grade, youknow like they've already
walked that path.
So if it's good information, itshouldn't matter where it's

(50:46):
coming from, because we canlearn from anybody, because it's
not all about learning what todo.
Sometimes it's about learningwhat not to do.
Right, that's fair.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Just my own life, guys.
That's it.
Stop it with it.
What was that?
It's part of my experience.
That's why I do it out there.
But no, who's the next person?
Go ahead, jump in.

Speaker 5 (51:10):
Mark, I think you just hit something that I've
been kind of patiently waitingto say is that I actually think
that that we learn things evenif you don't have good models,
and you kind of said it rightthere is I.
I've like rl, I I had a verysimilar like me and you are
kindred spirits, bro, like, wehave very similar, similar

(51:33):
upbringing and like, and Ididn't have great, great models
growing up.
But what I know and I've talkedto you, yusuf, about this in
our podcast is I learned whatnot to do, and I apply that to
my parenting.
I didn't have great parentsgrowing up, but I know what not

(51:54):
to do, and that informed me onwhat choices I make, and I think
that that's really important.
As far as accountability, goingback to the accountability
thing, though, I thinkaccountability is incredibly
important.
I mean, as a matter of fact,yesterday I just assigned a
friend.
I asked a friend if he would bean accountability partner for

(52:14):
me.
I'm struggling with putting outa program and I just have been
pushing it back and pushing itback and you know, a friend of
mine is a business guy and hesaid, well, what do you need?
And I said, honestly, I wouldlove for you just to hold me
accountable to hit thesedeadlines.
And he goes all right, open upa piece of paper.
We're going to write it, we'regoing to write down a date.

(52:34):
Now that's that date is you'regoing to put this out?
And I'm going to write down adate.
Now, that date is you're goingto put this out and I'm going to
hold you accountable from thatmoment on.
And I mean that's a classicexample.
I mean it could be anybody.
It could be your wife, it couldbe a friend of yours, it could
be a business partner, justsomebody who's there that can
say hey, are you working on thatgoal that we set?
Are you working on this thing?

(52:54):
Are you doing this daily?
And that helps with discipline.
I mean, it gives you thatlittle nudge that we may need to
not distract ourselves with allthese other things in order to
get these goals and get thesethings done that you want to do.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
I know we're almost up against it now I want to
respect you guys' time.
I'm having so much fun.
I don't want it to stop, but Irecognize that.
You know we got to stop at somepoint.
But I want to ask you guys andI was hoping everybody would be
on for this, but the guys had tojump off.
We're going to miss this.
But take a pause and thinkabout this one, because we're

(53:36):
talking a.
Two are all about accountabilityand I hope just to encourage
you guys to kind of takeadvantage of that.
You know where it is.
You don't really need me totell you where it is.
You can find it.
I believe it's available to you.
If it's not available, I'msurprised you can find that
somewhere.
It all depends on the lens thatyou look through it with, but

(53:58):
you can find that.
But I want to ask this questionhere to kind of close out our
first premier broadcast here.
I'm so excited about that, leeFreeberg.
Thank you, sir.
Fantastic Thanks for thecomment, appreciate it.
You talked about accountabilityand discipline.
But I want to ask you about apersonal question, and this is

(54:21):
going to kind of get into somestuff perhaps but what's the
long-term effect that you wantto have by living a disciplined
lifestyle.
We talked about how men avoidit and I think to some degree we
all have avoided it to somekind of degree.
What's the long-term impactthat you want to have from
having a disciplined lifestyle?
What are the goals you want toaccomplish?

Speaker 8 (54:41):
I would say you're going to leave a lasting legacy
for your future generations.
You know, I don't know if I'vetold you all my entire life
story, you said, but like toshare with the group.
I grew up in a very fizzly andperfectly story well, not
everybody in here does.
But, like you know, to havediscipline and also have

(55:06):
accountability, it has to begrounded in love.
Yes, definitely grounded in theword of God.
Growing up, I grew up in aChristian household, but my dad
beat the crap out of me almostevery single day, you know.
He tried to put the fear of Godin me and I told myself, if God
is anything like my dad, mystepdad or my biological dad, I

(55:29):
want nothing to do with him.
So when you're someone'saccountability partner, make
sure, yes, you're grounded inaccountability partner.
Make sure, yes, you're groundedin the word of God and you're
also you do it out of love forthat person, because it means so
much.
And I mean that because I'vebeen an accountability partner

(55:49):
for some guys and they've gonethrough some crap and there's
not enough guys out there thatwant to do that.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what's the long-term impactyou guys want to have by having
a disciplined lifestyle?
What are you thinking?

Speaker 6 (56:08):
I'm also thinking about a legacy.
I'm thinking about my son andhis son.
I'm thinking about changingcultures changing the culture of
, maybe, things that I sawgrowing up that was
dysfunctional, and me making abetter decision to change the
dynamic of the men in my family,setting a different example and

(56:32):
changing the culture.
You know that's my thing.
And changing the culture, youknow that's my thing.
That's my thing.
I want my son to know that it'sokay, bro, if you've got
something going on, you knowit's okay to talk about that.
It's okay to reach out and askfor help.
It's okay.
If you don't have it alltogether to you know, maybe

(56:56):
reach out to somebody that canhelp pull you up and if you
don't think that I'm the person,then find someone.
It's changing the mentality sowe can change the culture.
I think from generation togeneration we evolve Some of the

(57:21):
things that my dad went throughwith his dad and his method of
teaching it's.
He made some tweaks with thatand he did the best that he
could do with the knowledge thathe had in the guiding and the

(57:48):
leading of Holy Spirit.
And when it came to me, I sawsomething different than and I
had a different experience thathe had and I wanted and I now
want to give my son and even,another avenue of experiencing

(58:11):
life and what that looks likeand what that means to be a man
and in the relationship betweenfather and son.
I think we're supposed to learnfrom those things and get
lessons from this right here.
This is accountability, becauseposing these questions, if

(58:39):
you're giving answers, it'sgoing to make you think about
the questions that have beenasked and you're going to think
about it later on At least Iknow I will my answers that I
gave and moving forward, youknow it helps make you really

(59:00):
think about it in a differentway and ask the question to
yourself am I living the lifeoutwardly that I have in my head
?
You got a picture of what youknow it should be, but does that

(59:25):
match reality?
And these kind of forums andthese type of spaces.
It forces you to have to reallythink and it kind of gives you
a mirror.
The ultimate mirror is the wordof God, obviously, but on a

(59:47):
practical level, these kind ofmeetings like this kind of help
gauge where you are in answeringthese questions and I think
this is a good form ofaccountability.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
That needs to happen.
I hope this is a good step inthat direction.
I see so many situation thatyou guys don't even know some of
these personally too, wherepeople know they need it but
they won't let them take it.
It's extended, but pride won'tlet them have it.
It can be somebody that'syounger than the person, it can
be somebody that's older thanthe person, but they just don't

(01:00:31):
feel like they're ready to takethat walk and stick to it, so
they kind of bail out beforethey can get started to avoid
the disappointment.
There's just so manyopportunities for this, so
definitely encourage that.
I want to let everybody else goahead and get their thoughts
into that.
Last question what's a longterm impact you want to have
personally by living adisciplined lifestyle?
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Long term impact.
Just be real quick.
I'm going to be long winded.
Sometime we got time Go ahead.
Just like what everybody said,it's from generation to
generation.
First and foremost, I want toleave a living legacy, not just
a legacy, but a living legacy,beginning first with my son,

(01:01:13):
that it will live through him,and then he's able to teach his
kids and they're able to teachtheir kids.
A living legacy to the pointwhere it does change the culture
, to where the Corbett namecomes synonymous.
Like they won't get me for this, but when you think about Dr

(01:01:33):
King, you think about MarcusGarvey, you think about.
These guys are no longer withus, yet the life that they live
is still teaching generationafter generation after
generation.
And with each generation we'regetting better, standing on
their shoulders.
Ultimately, I just want to beall that Christ has called me to

(01:01:57):
be and pursue.
To be a Christian is to be ofChrist, so that's why I want to
be.
That is the greatest teacher ofus all and he said be perfect
and not infallible, but as inbeing mature.
Now, real quick, I said it toyou guys before the law of

(01:02:22):
thirds.
So when I think aboutdiscipline and accountability
and I think about living alegacy, then we do that by the
law of thirds.
First you find that mentor,someone that you can glean from
someone that's going to teachyou.
Then you find the people, likethis platform here, that are
going to sharpen you and we canhold each other accountable and

(01:02:44):
we can grow together.
And then, the last third, youfind that person that's not
quite there yet and you reachback and you teach them, you be
the example.
So you find the example, yougrow, and then you reach back
and be the example.
Grow and then you reach backand be the example.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (01:03:02):
I remember you using that at the retreat and I almost
used it, but I didn't want tosee it.
I figured you was going to useit again.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
I learned that years ago, I don't even remember where
.
I learned it from, but it's notmine.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
Anybody else want to chime in on that Long-term
impact you want to have.
You got to be a point to allthis, right.

Speaker 5 (01:03:29):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's kind of unanimous.
It really is legacy, I mean, asa man, you know, if you have
kids, like for me, it's changingthe narrative.
Richard, I really resonatedwith a lot of what you said.
I grew up in a really roughhousehold and there's a lot of

(01:03:49):
generational trauma that getspassed down and that stops with
me.
My kids are not going to feelthat same thing.
They're not going to knowanything about that until they
get older and they hear my storyand they hear what I have been,
uh, you know, teaching and andand and educating people on also

(01:04:09):
.
Uh, you know, aside from that,that family legacy it's, it's,
it's also with men Like I I'mreally.
I really think it's importantthat we model what a healthy,
masculine man is and what thatmeans.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
Say that part again, right there Say that part again.

Speaker 5 (01:04:30):
It's important, though, because we have all of
these things, like I said in thevery beginning, of this thing
is there is so much noise out inthe world that isn't
necessarily healthy.
There is so much noise out inthe world that isn't necessarily
healthy, and I'm teaching myson what it's like to be a
healthy, masculine man, and I'mteaching other men by doing

(01:04:50):
stuff like this, as well asdoing retreats and men's groups
and modeling for other men whatit's like to be a masculine man
and and in a healthy way, and todo that inner work and to, to,
to, to take those steps forthemselves, to, so then they can
teach it to the youngergenerations.

(01:05:11):
So it is legacy.
It's not only legacy within thefamily.
It's legacy with, with, withsociety and and and humanity and
who we are as men.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
You know, as one of the older guys on the panel,
I've been through some seasons.
I've been through some seasonsin my life and, um, this season
that I'm in right now is by farthe best, because I have a
disciplined time that I havewith the Lord every day, and I

(01:05:45):
didn't have that for most of mylife.
I would be in and out and did Iread the Bible some?
Yeah, and did I pray some?
Yeah.
But God is my teacher.
Holy Spirit is the one whospeaks to me, and when I spend
time with God, he reveals thingsto me.
We all try our best in ourvarious seasons where we're

(01:06:07):
dating, whether we have youngchildren at home, whether we're,
you know, kind of in middle age, or the different things that
we have to do.
The legacy that we want toleave now is we want to
accomplish everything that Godordained for us to do before the
foundations of the earth werelaid.
And how do I find out what thatis?

(01:06:27):
It's by spending time with theLord.
It's by spending time in HisWord.
We hear that from our pastorall the time.
He just pounds it into us, andhe's so right.
He just pounds it into us, andhe's so right.
You know, when I spend timewith the Lord, when my wife
spends time with the Lord, andwe get the logos, we get the
written word, and we get therhema, which is the Holy Spirit

(01:06:48):
speaking to us, then we start toget direction in our lives and
it's things that we canaccomplish.
The legacy there's tremendouslegacy that we can leave For us
in working with couples.
It's not just working with thatcouple, because if we can make
a difference with a couple, itaffects their children and their

(01:07:09):
children's children and theirchildren's children.
It could be many, manygenerations.
It's breaking the cycle and weheard that a couple of times
this evening.
Completely agree with that.
We had to break cycles in ourlives.
My, my, my parents fought allthe time.
If you saw big, fat Greekwedding, that was my family and

(01:07:29):
that was my parents.
They fought constantly.
I swore that I was not going tofight with my wife, so I tried
to learn what my parents youknow from what they did.
I'm not going to do that andthat was one of the worst
mistakes I made in my life,because my wife needed me to
fight for her and I wouldn'tfight for our relationship

(01:07:51):
because I was a peacemaker atall costs.
She kind of interpreted that asI don't really care about our
relationship.
That wasn't true, but that'show she interpreted it through
her lens.
So we had to go through healing.
We had to break generationalcycles there was suicide in her
family, had to break that cycle,a number of these cycles, and

(01:08:11):
by working with people as we'vebroken those and we continue to
be a work in progress, we helpother people help to break those
cycles and that's a legacy thatwhen we get to heaven, I'm
really hoping the Lord says yousee this crowd of people.
That's people you impacted.
You impacted for the kingdombecause you partnered with me.

(01:08:34):
You know I worked in you, Ihelped to heal you from a lot of
things and deliver you from alot of things, but then you did
the same for others.
And that to us is if we'redoing what God wants us to do,
that's all I really care aboutand it affects every
relationship, it affectseverything that we do.
But that's kind of where we'reat.

(01:08:54):
That's our goal and I'm closerto the final exam probably than
most of you guys are.
But I want to make sure I'mcloser to the final exam
probably than most of you guysare I ain't far behind you?
It's not really about that.
It's really doing what the Lordwants us to do.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
I love it.
I love it.
I'm getting messages andcomments.
They're coming through.
Social Walls are being brokendown.
This was not a waste.
This is just the beginning.
I told a buddy that wasreaching out.
I said the topics get tougher.
This is a marshmallow comparedto what we're going to be
talking about coming up.

(01:09:34):
So just get ready, just getready.
We're going to go way deeperthan we have been going.
But for all you guys that havebeen talking about
accountability and you know, andyour family and stuff, I just
encourage you guys that on thisjourney of discipline, living a
disciplined lifestyle, thinkabout those people that you're
talking about, that you know.
Accountability, probably toyour children, your wife.

(01:09:56):
Think about that before youpick up that thing that you know
you shouldn't be having.
Think about that before youpick up that thing that you know
you shouldn't be having.
Think about them.
We can talk about stuff all daylong, but if there's no growth,
there's no progress.
It's not really discipline.
We just want wanting to want tobe that, but we're not really
doing that.
Soldiers, athletes, sometimesCEOs of companies.

(01:10:18):
They live a disciplinedlifestyle because they recognize
that every step they take makesa difference, it matters, and
they break off of the path.
You know what I'm saying.
You're talking about one stepforward, two steps back.
Two steps back for us is likemaybe a generation getting
jacked up because of thedecisions that we make.
We got to be really, reallycareful about everything we do,
because we are role models andexamples, whether we want to be

(01:10:38):
or not, charles Broccoli, we arerole models.
We got to do that becausesomebody's watching us.
If you're not in your household, across the street, down the
road, a relative somebody'salways watching us, man.
But you guys are impact playersand I'm so proud of you guys
for being a part of this.
Thank you for saying you knowwhat.

(01:10:59):
I'm not here for just a premiereepisode.
I want to be here for the longterm.
I'm excited about it.
Also, be thinking about yourlocal community, because you can
do this kind of thing where youlive.
Be thinking about that conceptbecause there's men that's out
there in your neighborhood,within a five-mile radius or
10-mile radius, let's say thatwho don't have this and they

(01:11:21):
need to have accountability andmentorship and brotherhood
support that you guys canprovide.
So think outside of the box,you thinking about that.
But we can go ahead and get outof here.
Man, fantastic first episode.
I have no idea what's happeningnext month.
It could be in the morning,afternoon, evening.
It all depends on the panelists.
So we're going to reach out toyou guys.
But thank, it all depends onthe panelists.
So we're gonna reach out to youguys, but thank you for doing

(01:11:42):
this.
I'm hitting the music, and weout of here love you guys.
Thanks for being a part of themen's roundtable series.

All Episodes

WORLD PREMIERE The Men's Roundtable Series - Why Do Men Avoid The Disciplined Lifestyle?

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

The Joe Rogan Experience

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}***WORLD PREMIERE*** The Men's Roundtable Series - Why Do Men Avoid The Disciplined Lifestyle?