February 27, 2025 • 67 mins
Ep 185 One World in a New World with Suzette West
✨ Unlock the Power of Heart Coherence & Emotional Intelligence ✨
Join me, Zen Benefiel, in this thought-provoking Apocalyptic Chat with Suzette West, an executive coach and expert in transformational social change. In this deep and revealing conversation, we explore the interplay between emotions, self-awareness, and leadership, offering powerful insights into how heart coherence can transform your personal and professional life.
🔹 Born empathic, Suzette shares her journey of discovering emotional intelligence and learning how to separate her own feelings from the energies of others.
🔹 The power of breath and mindfulness—how daily practices can strengthen emotional resilience and self-regulation.
🔹 Heart Math & Coherence—the science behind aligning the heart and mind for optimal decision-making, leadership, and stress management.
🔹 Breaking free from societal conditioning—how fear, judgment, and emotional suppression affect us and what we can do to reclaim our inner power.
🔹 Practical strategies for leaders to create harmonious work environments that foster trust, authenticity, and high-performance teams.
Whether you're a leader, coach, or seeker of self-mastery, this transformational conversation will leave you inspired to embrace your emotions, cultivate resilience, and lead with authenticity.
🎥 Watch now and step into your own journey of coherence and empowerment.
🔔 Subscribe for more profound explorations of conscious leadership and personal transformation.
Connect with Suzette: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzettewest/
Suzette's website: https://wildheartsrising.com
Join this channel to get access to perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuZl_29zHxehqeL89KSCWFA/join
#HeartCoherence #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipDevelopment #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #TransformationalCoaching #EmpathJourney #HeartMath #Resilience #OneWorldInANewWorld #ZenBenefiel #SuzetteWest #PersonalGrowth #ConsciousLeadership #ExecutiveCoaching #MindfulLiving #SelfDiscovery #InnerWisdom #SpiritualAwakening #EmotionalResilience
_______
Connect with Zen: https://linkedin.com/zenbenefiel
Zen's books: https://amazon.com/author/zendor
Zen's Coaching: https://BeTheDream.com
Zen's CV et al: https://zenbenefiel.com
The Octopus Movement (non-linear thinkers): https://theoctopusmovement.org
Live and Let Live Global Peace Movement: https://liveandletlive.org
Activation Products: https://bit.ly/btdactivation
Assisting in harmony among people and planet: https://planetarycitizens.net
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Namaste and in Locketch and welcome to this episode of One
World and a New World. And as you know, the apocalyptic
chats are about uncovering knowledge, how we bridge that
inner and outer reality that we are bereft of doing today
because we just don't talk aboutit.
Our objective is to get that outin the open and start talking
about it so that we can bridge that gap and create a better
(00:23):
future together. This week's guest is Suzette
West and she is first of all an ICF International Coaching
Federation certified Executive Coach.
She has a Master of Arts in social, in transformational
social change. So I know this is going to be
just a phenomenal conversation, so stick around, we'll be right
(00:47):
back. Explore the thoughtless sphere.
Embark on a life changing journey of self discovery.
Embrace harmony with self, with others, with first One world in
a new world. Zen Benefield skillfully ignites
conversations, guiding guests toreveal personal journeys and
perspectives. Listeners are inspired to seek
(01:10):
knowledge and find wisdom in their own lives.
Join this this formative journeyas we navigate the depth of
human experience. Suzette, it is such an honor and
a great opportunity to have you with us today.
Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me.
Such a pleasure. Now I also noticed that your
(01:32):
certified heart math. I want to tap on that a little
bit, but first I'm going to diveinto the archives and, and maybe
understand, knowing that you have had this interconnection
for quite some time, when did itfirst begin?
How was life at the time and andhow did it first or how did you
(01:55):
first become aware that there was more than just the physical
world? Well, I've, I've been, I was
born empathic like I, I've always had that ability to, to
tap into emotions. And what I did when I was young
(02:19):
was I often mistake miss, you know, took a took on other
people's emotions as, as my own just because I was young and I
didn't understand. But I've always had a
connection, some connection, otherworldly connection, and.
Pardon me for interrupting. I begging the question, how did
(02:42):
you learn that they weren't yours?
I I've had similar opportunitiesand and was born that way as
well. When did you figure out that,
oh, those aren't my feelings that I'm feeling?
It wasn't until much later in life.
(03:02):
So already I think I, I was probably already in my 40s when
I learned about, you know, empathic people taking on other
people's emotions and not realizing it.
Prior to that, it was just, I was living in reactivity.
(03:24):
And yeah, it was a very, it was very difficult in those early
years, so. Yeah, back to the early years,
How how did that affect your socialization?
Yeah, so I was it, it affected alot.
(03:44):
I mean my, my ability to I had like social anxiety really bad
because I. Can imagine.
Yeah, it was really bad. But you know, it was a journey
that I had to move through to understand empathy, to
(04:05):
understand how we take on other people's emotions and not
realize it, how to process emotions, how to be with
difficult emotions. All that stuff was just it was a
learning process and I had to learn to be patient with it.
Sure. Do you think that's what leads
or has LED us to become a codependent nation?
(04:31):
I think. The reason I ask that is the the
sensitivity that we all have andyet don't acknowledge, right.
We we're constantly people pleasers because we want to feel
good about that. Well, I think a lot of us, yeah.
Well, I think because emotions are not very well understood and
(04:52):
in, in, in a lot of places, we're taught to, you know, stuff
our emotions, you know, emotionsare seen as weak or, you know,
like emotions are something to hide or stuff.
And that is when we run into problems when we're stuffing
(05:14):
emotions, when we're disconnected from our emotions
and we're not able to learn how to sit with those difficult
emotions. We check out, we fall into
addictions, we fall into, you know, people pleasing, you know,
anything to, to, to not deal with what we're feeling.
(05:34):
And I feel like now we're being called more than ever to go
inward and to really connect with emotions because our
emotions are the leading, are the biggest drainers of our
energy. What do you think's causing
that? And I'm in agreement that it it
does feel that there seems to anyway be on exterior wise.
(06:00):
There's a a questioning that's going on internally.
There's this sense of almost just a slight rise in energy, if
that makes sense. Well, what do you, what do you
experience? And, and you've been in multiple
places and, and with all the research that you've done,
(06:23):
transformative social change. Do you see these types of things
affecting individuals, communities and the like and a
growing presence of that? Or is it still rather subdued?
(06:43):
I think people are starting to learn more about emotional self
regulation, emotional intelligence.
What I'd like to say is being, being coherent, being heart
coherent, meaning where the, theheart and the mind are aligned.
This is so important. I mean, especially when you're
going through challenges. It's, it's our ability to
(07:06):
maintain access to our executivefunctioning, like our ability to
problem solve, our ability to vision, envision a way forward
as opposed to getting shut out by the stress response.
And then we're reacting to things.
And it's when we're reacting that we're just acting
(07:29):
impulsively. We're, we're not thinking before
we speak or we are judging or we're being critical or we're
being distrusting. That's that fear, fearful,
fearful thinking, fearful consciousness.
Absolutely. We're stuck there.
There's a lot of that going on. Yeah.
(07:50):
Now, do you think also that there is a presence of a sense
of not being understood that comes before we even begin to
speak sometimes, and so it retards or or doesn't allow us
(08:12):
to distill coherent thinking andthoughts in into psychologically
safe, intellectually humble remarks.
Now, in that psychological safety and intellectually,
humbly present presentation, do you find that there is core
(08:38):
emotion or core value that seemsto be wanting to be expressed
that hasn't been able to the societal structures we've had?
Well, I think the fear of being judged, the fear of being
(08:59):
rejected, the fear of abandonment keeps a lot of
people from speaking their voice, from speaking from their
heart. You can, you can say something,
you know, you can address an issue, say something to a person
(09:25):
in a, from a place of compassion, and it'll be
received totally different than if you came from a critical
place. So if you're, if you've got
judgement in your voice, if you've got, you're criticizing
and you, you've got this, you know, people feel that your
(09:48):
words contain, you know, energy and the intention and the, and
right, like, what are your intentions with these words?
You can say the exact same wordsin a mean way or in a loving
way, and they're going to be taken in two different ways,
even though you're saying the same thing.
And it's because of that energy that's behind those words.
(10:12):
And we're not, we're not mindfulof that.
We're not aware of that. We're just reacting.
But if we are, we maintain heartcoherence and we maintain that
executive thinking capacity. Let's my intention is to be a
compassionate human being. How can I bridge this and just
(10:35):
address the issue in a way that'll be well received?
How can I do? That pause button, when you get
triggered, right, the first thing that happens, you hit the
pause button, take a breath and recenter and recognize that yes,
you're, you're sensing this energy from another because
that's how we're built. Yeah, 85% of communication
(10:56):
happens non verbally and and energetically rather than
energetically. The voice and tone right part of
it in this, in this transceivership of our bodies,
if you will, you know we have various systems, the chakras
then we've got also the indigenous three brain system,
the gut, the heart and the head.The gut feels everything.
(11:20):
Since we know from quantum physics now that everything's
vibration, how would we be designed to navigate that?
We have a sensory array to do so, right?
We don't recognize that. So we get the gut, you know, we
get to hit the gut and right away we judge because we don't
(11:41):
distill it in the heart to figure out where it's coming
from and how to deal with it. And then we have a reactionary
interaction instead of a mindful1.
Whereas if you would have processed it first with the gut
recognize, OK, this doesn't feelso good.
Is it intentional? You know, is it, is it desirable
(12:02):
or undesirable? And then what do I do with it in
a kind, compassionate way? Is that something because it's,
it's a behavior mod program, right?
If you want to look at it from that perspective, how do we
facilitate that in common conversations?
(12:25):
What what's the key features of that?
And especially in facilitating social change, how does that
work in spilling out into the neighborhood, so to speak?
Well, any kind of societal change is going to have, it's
going to be, it's not going to be easy.
(12:45):
It's, it's going to be a challenging thing and it's going
to be really important to maintain that anchor within
ourselves and to breathe to really understand there's so
much power in the breath. And when we pause and when we
use the breath to slow down thatstress response and just be with
(13:10):
that uncomfortable emotion and then with just that intention to
bridge and build understanding, staying coherent, staying heart
coherent is the key to bridging.If we can't maintain a heart
(13:34):
coherent state when we attempt to bridge with someone who maybe
perceives things differently, it's going to trigger things.
And if we're not heart coherent,if we're not present with our or
who we are inside and just anchored in that inner knowing,
you know that intention, we can easily start reacting.
(14:02):
And when we're reacting, that's when things fall apart.
And they fall apart very well, only to come back together.
You know, they say this often times.
Breakthrough is a series of breakdowns in this.
You mentioned the anchor, right?What is that?
(14:23):
We hear the word. The term is, you know, I anchor,
I center, I get grounded. What's that mean to you?
For me, it means feeling my heart and just being centered
into that heart space, just focusing on it, feeling the
(14:47):
sensations, feeling the sensations, knowing that it's
going to be OK and just be with this moment, just be with this
discomfort right now and it'll pass.
(15:08):
And then when it passes, that discomfort lifts.
And it always does, because a feeling fully felt passes
through. When we allow the feelings to
pass, we grow a little more every time we move through it.
You almost become more permeablein allowing that energy to flow
(15:33):
through you rather than get stuck in you.
It's like layers of an onion. Every time we heal, a new layer
and it happened, you know, it's like, it's like waves, you know,
it's like grieving. Grieving never stops.
Once you have experienced a lossor if you have some kind of a
trauma, it's like people often mistake healing as, oh, I'm
(15:59):
healed, it'll never happen again.
That's not true. What's true is you're still
going to have things come up from the past.
You're still going to have experiences of these emotions,
but every time the tide rolls in, you're going to have the
tools to be able to sit with it,process it, and let it move.
(16:20):
Because sometimes that's all we have to do is just let it move.
Let it pass, feel it to heal it,just let it pass.
You mentioned heart coherence, and this is a term I believe
that comes out of the Heart MathInstitute of which you're
associated with. Can you explain a little bit
(16:41):
about what heart math is and what that is designed to do to
help in in this kind of coherence?
So coherence is an optimal stateof functioning.
It's when the heart and mind thebecause we have electromagnetic
(17:04):
activity happening and when the heart and the mind are together,
their, their patterns are risingand falling In Sync.
Whereas when it's not together, it's really jagged.
And so coherence is a state of optimal functioning.
And we can achieve that by a daily breath practice that it's
(17:31):
it's like exercise. It's like building that muscle.
You can't go to a gym and then after one day expect to have
this, you know, really buffs, you know, set up you.
Can't go through a drive through.
It's not like going through McDonald's, you know, there's no
look enlightenment. There's discipline and practice.
To it, it's a you we have coherent muscles and that is,
(17:56):
and that is when we, we drop theheart to the, into the mind and
we focus the breath and we use the breath to, to breathe deeply
and slowly through the heart. And we release thoughts and we
focus and use the breath and we build that muscle.
(18:17):
And ideally we're doing this a few times a day, you know, 5
minutes, three times a day. And over time we start to build
more resiliency throughout our day.
But it's not something that happens overnight.
(18:37):
It has to, it is a, it takes a daily practice to build that
muscle. So coherence is like an
energetic emotional muscle. And when we do it, we're
actually recharging our inner battery when we do that.
(18:57):
And that's that's what makes us resilient.
Now, in that desire for coherence, is there a deeper
desire that that's present? And I often think that, you
know, our core is really about loving and being loved, and
(19:18):
that's what we seek. We don't really understand what
that truly is. However, we talk about a lot,
right? We try to get there and then we
fight ourselves in the process of trying to control and
dominate and, you know, do all those kind of human things.
But this is more of an acquiescence too, rather than a
(19:39):
grabbing a hold of right it would that be kind of what the
process that heart math and and these processes accomplish?
Well, heart math is just a pieceof the work that I, that I do.
And it was one of the first, thefirst practices, the first
methods that I learned that really helped me in my, in my
(20:01):
own healing journey. And I've since discovered, you
know, a lot of different methodsand authors and teachers that
really helped me along the way. And it really comes down to an
inner decision, an inner decision to allow the heart to
(20:28):
lift us up, because the heart isa powerful thing.
Absolutely. And you can sense it.
You know, it's what came to mindseveral years ago, is I, at
least I and I say I think, and you're going to that, I'm going
to counter that. So we can't think our way
(20:50):
through a system built on vibration.
We have to sense our way throughit.
So this is to me, part of that evolutionary leap that we're
having now that is a result of questioning everything.
During the recent kerfuffle thatwe had and the global shutdown,
(21:12):
people started asking questions of, you know, who am I?
What, what do I really believe in?
What am I willing to do about that?
Am I in, do I love myself? And and we often, you know,
think that's a little by list ornihilistic or egotistical,
(21:32):
egomaniacal, But when you think about self love, you've got to
take care of yourself. You've got to be in that place
before you can share it with another.
So this inner work to get there seems imperative in order for
the rest of us to move forward collectively.
(21:55):
How do you see that taking placethrough the work that you do?
And what do you find some of theeffective tools for that are?
Yeah, so excuse me, My my dog ishaving a fit right now.
I love it when the little ones enter in.
Yeah, yeah, she's being really vocal right now.
(22:17):
Not coming through on this end. Oh, OK, OK, cool.
You know, it's where we are in the world right now is that
there's a lot of division going on and it's driven by fear.
There's a lot of fear that's driving humanity.
And we're, we're fearful and of,of, of people who are not like
(22:42):
us. We're, we're fearful of people
who think differently than us. And I think a lot of us are now
starting to learn to allow, to surrender, to surrender to what
is, you know, to surrender and to just allow, allow things to
(23:07):
be what they are and, and trust.And that's so hard.
It's so hard to trust when you don't see what's coming or when
you don't, when things are uncertain.
It's so hard to trust in the process if you.
Trust yourself implicitly. Is it easier to trust the
(23:29):
environment you're in? It's easier to navigate because
we can then accept whatever's happening outside of us is
that's just the way it is. That's not on us.
And we can just, we can just just let it go, you know, we can
(23:52):
just let things like that go andnot.
Or choose how to participate. Right or.
Conscious choice rather than feel pushed and pulled and not
in control. Cuz the only thing that we do
have control of is that choice and our own capacity for
navigation, right? Yeah, well, I think control is
an illusion for sure. Absolutely.
(24:14):
Control is definitely an illusion.
And yet there's a larger aspect of it that seems to be in place
when you do surrender, that whenyou do seek inner guidance and
then you pay attention to it, there's this capacity.
(24:35):
I don't know if it's universal law or infinite intelligence or
God or whatever you want to callit.
It's this conscious intelligencethat wants the best for you,
right? Or maybe not wants the best.
I'll say it. There's a content that that's
(24:57):
neutral but based on your choiceis supportive of it.
Yeah, because that speaks to ourability to create, whether we
realize it or not. And if you don't think you are a
creator, go inside, examine how you're thinking and feeling, and
look at the environment around you and see how it's reflecting.
It'll give you an idea of whether you know you're
(25:20):
congruent or not, or coherent inthat fashion.
And when when you've you're coming from a place where all of
this is new and you don't understand what's going on,
there can be a lot of fear behind that.
And that's why absolutely, in those instances it is freaky.
(25:43):
Could be that sensitive and all of a sudden, you know, feel
almost like your body is being moved beyond something that
you're able to manage because you've allowed yourself to be
sensitive to it. So that's the, it's like you
open that door. It's like, whoa, where am I
(26:03):
going? And you start, you know, and yet
there's a certain amount of trust and courage, fearlessness
in that radically and being radically curious in some cases
too, it seems the truth loves tobe questioned.
How else do we prove it? Right, right.
(26:27):
You can't trust anything that you can't prove.
Yet there's a certain amount of faith that you can, based on the
evidence of what you've been given to date.
In those moments of that sense of connectedness and coherence,
how do you find ways to have that more repeatable?
(26:50):
It is beyond the discipline, beyond the practice.
What are some of the internalizations of the
considerations that you have in the process of that and your
relationship to your own belief about yourself?
(27:13):
OK, well, I, I first of all, when I find myself in in a
triggered state, you know, I go inward and I ask myself, what am
I feeling right now? Where is this coming from?
How am I feeling? What is this that I'm feeling?
Where am I feeling it? And then and then I just relax
(27:41):
into it and I don't try to thinkabout it.
I don't try to, I don't try to think back on bad memories.
I don't try to think of old stories.
You know, this is happening because of this or that the
other. It's just being present and
still with what I'm feeling and self soothing.
(28:01):
It's going to be OK. We just got to move through
this. It's going to be OK.
And I breathe. I breathe through it and that's
how I get through it. And it's rarely, if ever an
experience of a life threateningmoment, right?
(28:23):
We're, I guess I started to use the word blast for those kinds
of conditions here in America and in other places in the world
that there's some places and that we just aren't taking care
(28:44):
of one another. We're allowing things to happen
to chaos, the degradation, the mistreatment of others.
And it would seem that if we were conscious planet or we had
a conscious society and we livedwith what we preached to others,
(29:04):
we believe that those devastatedareas would be the first ones
we'd address. Because I, that's just my own
feeling and opinion, right? But the obviousness of it is
that we talk a lot. We don't do a lot of walking.
(29:25):
Yeah. What would that walk look like
to you? Well, it would be work, you
know, making sure that my coherence is strong, making sure
that my resiliency is built up daily so that I can face all the
(29:51):
challenges that come my way. And sometimes there's going to
be days when they're not going to, they're going to be, there's
good and bad days. And on those bad days, I just
have to allow and be with what is and breathe through it and
know that it's going to be OK and find that find that
foundation to of courage. I got this.
(30:16):
I, I can handle this. I can do this.
This is just a feeling. It's just a feeling.
It's going to, it's going to move.
I just got to be with it. And then I'm still and then I'm
breathing through it and it always moves.
And then I feel much stronger when it moves.
(30:40):
And does it happen a lot quickerthan talking about it in those
moments? Because you know, we're both
professionals, we've been in high stress, high activity
production environments, manufacturing and, and you know,
service organizations, things ofthat nature.
When we're in that flow of perceived order, what are the
(31:03):
things that that can happen or ways that others who are
experiencing this constriction in the workplace, Let's see how
can that or these practices benefit that?
And is there a way to incorporate them and not be that
(31:30):
obvious to others? Because that's one of the things
that you know, people like, well, you, you know, you're
going to be doing this, you're going to do that.
You know, you're carrying aroundsage or you're wearing a bunch
of beads. This isn't that right?
That that's all just accoutrements to show off, I
think because the real works inside and in behavior towards
(31:53):
others. So how did how would you suggest
that using these kinds of thingswould work in stressful places
in the workplace or in adversarial places?
Well, the thing to remember is that when we do keep a daily
practice, we also strengthen ourawareness of of our of our
(32:18):
Interstate. And so during work, it's really
important to take breath breaks,5 minutes here, 5 minutes there.
And no one has to know that you're doing it.
You just have to do it and just breathe deeply and slowly
through the heart. Just it's.
(32:42):
So different today. When I was in the my initial
diving of the corporate world, Iworked for an aerospace company
and youngest person. I was advanced because of my
work and promoted and and then rose to the top on a production
chart of the 35 member department.
And unbeknownst I was the youngest one in the department
(33:06):
too. And I had a couple of
supervisors come to me and ask me how I was doing that.
I had no idea and I was just having fun getting along, doing
stuff and I had to think for a moment.
I said, well, it's just under personal skills, you know, I'd
live by the golden rule. I'd do my best to help others do
(33:26):
their job while they're doing stuff for me.
And if I can do something else and I have the time to do so,
then Ioffer that as well. And it's amazing the difference
that it made, especially in a command and control environment
where you, you know, the usual behavior is first a no and then
(33:47):
a person of thinking they're superior trying to beat the
other over the head with threatsof going to their boss to get
what they need right. How many times does that happen?
This is in the 80s. What interpersonal skills
classes were then was basically understanding emotional
intelligence and how to deal with it today.
(34:08):
And yet it was a mess then. Today's far different.
There's all kinds of activity now in corporate worlds to
servant leadership being one of those opportunities that's being
explored, which in, you know, the leader serves the people,
(34:30):
not the opposite, which is what the the old paradigm is.
How do you see these activities that you're doing reflecting
that and assisting in this up wising, if you will, within
corporate America? Well, I help leaders activate
(34:54):
their inner resources, their their self-awareness, their
connection to the inner battery that must be recharged because
if we don't recharge it, it willget depleted and we like that's
what the daily practice is about.
And then I also help leaders activate another inner
(35:16):
resources, the inner, the inner GPS.
So that intuitive, the intuitivegift that we have naturally, the
intuitive equipment that helps us tap into the energetics of
what's happening around us. So we can, because there's a lot
of information there that we won't pick up if we don't tune
(35:38):
into it. So I, I work with leaders to, to
hone that's those skills so thatthey can resource themselves, so
they can be tapped into their inner wisdom, so that they can
be fully resourced and able to handle the challenges of the
day-to-day life and also be ableto tap into the undercurrents.
(36:02):
What's going on in the undercurrents because there's a
lot of information here. And, and then that information
can help us develop informed intuition, which then helps us
make smarter decisions. And that's how I help leaders.
And, and we don't, I say we, those who have not been in
(36:27):
leadership roles like that don'toften recognize or realize the
kind of stress that's involved because of the responsibilities.
You know, most workers, you know, they're responsible for
their desk and, you know, maybe working with a few people.
And then as you rise up in that hierarchical structure, there's
(36:49):
more and more responsibility from a fiduciary standpoint, as
well as a human resource and safety and security standpoint
where people can feel that they're supported in the work
(37:10):
rather than just filling a spot.So just so in this and
essentially we're talking about building community within an
organization, how do you see that trickle down through the
organization or what would be a noticeable difference in it when
(37:30):
these practices are made by and changes are made by the
leadership? Well, when leadership, when the
energy of the leadership changes, it changes the people
because you've got that, you've got that energetics, the
(37:52):
energetics of how can I support you?
You matter, I want to support you.
How can we work together to makethis better?
I care. I care and I want to support.
How can we make this better, youknow?
(38:16):
What I hear you say is all in how we speak to others, the
compassion, the kindness that weuse in that opportunity to work
together to accomplish a common goal.
You know, when you decide a company of a mission and vision
everybody is working toward, howwell that's related in the
(38:36):
culture that's created around that is up to the leadership.
And when these changes are made,do you do you stick around long
enough to see what the results in the company are?
Do you get reports back? See the increase in production
(38:58):
or output or? Yeah, people I've worked with,
they keep, they keep in touch with me and I, I get to hear all
kinds of wonderful results. You know, one of my clients was
going through her doctorate's degree and raising 6 grandkids
and took over as a program manager for a behavioral health
(39:25):
company. And I hear from her all the time
about how these tools really help because it it's about
making them yours and then putting them to use.
And it becomes a lifeline. And it really, it still helps
her. And she keeps in touch with me.
Absolutely. You know, I don't expect to be
(39:46):
tied to people forever. I know that once they develop
the right, they have that toolbox and they have the
routines and they know what they're supposed to do.
You know, I've, I've done my job.
And if they want extra support, they're absolutely more than
welcome to, I'm happy to support.
But I know it's not, it's not meant to be a lifelong thing.
(40:08):
It's meant to support them and get having the tools and then
and then the practices and then the strategies and then that
sense of self and those once those inner resources are
activated and strengthened, theygrow.
And as they grow, so do we. It makes sense.
(40:34):
And the obvious would like, yeah, this is something that,
you know, getting along, workingtogether for a common goal, you
know, unless it's not a I'd say unless it's not a life friendly
activity. And and even then that those
things matter. However, as we're engaging in
(40:59):
these practices, life becomes more precious and it would seem
that there would be a rising desire to change whatever
leadership is promoting those kinds of activities.
And especially right now, you know that it's, even though
(41:22):
we're trying to make Evergreen contract, there's this notion
right now that there's some concern and there's some hope as
well as these voices are being raised that are tired of
(41:45):
treating others like they're notlike us.
Now I open the show with Namastein La Catch.
Namaste is a Sanskrit greeting, you know, I worship that which
is within you is originally whatit meant.
And then in La ketch is a Mayan phrase.
It means I am another you. So as we, you know, grow in
(42:08):
these things we've come to recognize and maybe you can
validate this too, is that we see ourselves in others and we
want to understand what we don'tsee of ourselves in the others
so that we're better attuned noweven.
But his fifth habit is seek to understand before being
(42:29):
understood conflict. There was AI had a mentor, a
dear friend from 20 years. My senior lawyer was into
alternate, alternate dispute resolution.
And he said to me at one point that, you know, there really is
(42:53):
no conflict. There's just miscommunication
and you stop and think it's OK. So what's that really mean?
Well, you come to the table withyour dictionary, you speak and
listen to and from it and the other person has one too, but
(43:14):
it's different than yours, right?
So then how that sameness is navigated is up to the kinds of
practices and questions and presence that is brought into
that situation. Recognize that.
OK. And maybe it's the beginning of
(43:37):
we're really saying the same thing differently.
We just need to figure it out. Right.
Because we don't want the same thing, right?
We want to love and be loved. Well, that trickles out into the
things that we think mean that as far as, you know, the
contracts and the awards and, you know, negotiating salaries
(43:58):
and things of that nature, that's all part of that.
And yet it's not the fulfillmentof it.
It's the trickle down of the result of it being done
effectively. Would you agree with that?
Yeah, Yeah. I think that not being on the
same page is, is the number one thing to look for.
(44:20):
It's like, OK, are we on the same?
Clearly we're not on the same page.
But we often assume. We are.
How can I? Yeah.
But when you feel that dissonance, when you feel that
tension and clearly something we're not on the same page, you
feel that. And then we can stop and ask
ourselves, OK, apparently we're not on the same page.
(44:43):
What can I do to help us get people get everyone on the same
page and, and everyone's not going to get on the same page at
the same time at the same pace. Sometimes it takes the person a
little longer to get on the samepage.
And we have to, we have to be able to sense that and give the
(45:05):
grace to allow that person to get on the same page so we can
have a meaningful conversation. Or even recognize the trigger in
yourself. No, wait a minute.
OK, Why? What happened here?
In my understanding, what's going on?
Even when you come, you know, I did partnering workshops for
bridge construction for 20 years.
(45:26):
And construction environments are the most adversarial ones
you can get into at times. And yet there's this capacity to
engage another. What do you think is that core
capacity that we have to engage another from that place of
(45:49):
seeking coherence? Remaining open, remaining
receptive, understanding that people are going to be thinking
differently. That's the passive side of it.
What's the active side? Asking questions to understand.
(46:14):
How can you know? Help me understand.
I want to understand. Nonviolent communication, right?
Those are things that we don't often consider of how we speak
to another as to whether we're intending to cause a trigger or
pull. 1 You know, my dad taught me when, when I was younger,
(46:37):
when I was in my going to my judge mental stage, he said be
careful when you point a finger.You've got 3 coming back at you.
So you better have at least three solutions to apply or
don't open your mouth. Now that didn't always work.
(46:57):
I, you know, most of the time I only had one or two, but still,
when you're facilitating people,places and things to do things
in massive ways, you've really got to consider that because
they're just another piece of you.
Every person you touch is just another piece of you that you're
(47:19):
becoming aware of. Again, perhaps you know, we
there's all kinds of things we could go down the rabbit hole as
far as having been here before and karmic returns and all those
kinds of things, which may or may not be a click.
I would. But that's also part of what
(47:40):
would you say that that's also part of recognizing what those
traumas as you're analyzing the whys, you know, for the triggers
and the sensations and things like that.
How deep does that go sometimes?Do you find that there are
instances that don't feel like they've come from this life and
(48:04):
and have been a recurring pattern that they're addressing?
Are are there those types of recognitions or realizations in
your clients? Well, there's that's, that's
the, that's human nature, right?Like we all, we all have that,
you know, from epigenetics. You if you've studied Bruce
Lipton Doctor Bruce Lipton and his work in that epigenetics.
(48:26):
Swamia. I mentioned Swamia.
Pardon me, I'm kind of neuro diverse and it'll butt in
anywhere sometimes, but hopefully I forgive me Swami
beyond Ananda and Steve Berman Co wrote conscious evolution
with Bruce Lipton and a phenomenal book anyway, and it's
(48:51):
Steve is an early guest on on one world.
I've known him for I don't know.Gosh, too long. 30 years,
something like that. Yeah.
Time flies, yeah. So how does time fly for you?
(49:12):
One day at a time. When you're.
One day at a time, living in thepresent.
But when when you're in this practice and you're in an
activity, what do you notice thedifferences in how time feels in
those different kinds of situations?
(49:33):
In what way? Whether it feels fast, slow,
rushed, but whether you have a sense of time at all.
Well, when I'm working on something, time flies.
When I'm working on something that I'm really engaged in,
yeah, time will fly. But when I allow myself to be
(49:57):
still, time slows down and I canjust, I can just be in the
moment. I didn't always.
I wasn't always able to do that,but I did.
I. Did well.
It takes practice. I mean, even the best of us.
Anything that you master? What was it that says 10,000
(50:22):
hours of practice? I think was the statistic that I
heard recently. In order to master anything,
it'd be good if something still not master it still it gives you
an idea of the amount of time that we that is required right
(50:43):
To engage. Have patience with the process.
That's big. And isn't everything a process?
Everything is a process, yes. What are some of those processes
that you recognize in yourself that have been the most
(51:06):
beneficial? That I'm constantly evolving,
that I'm constantly growing, andthat whatever new thing that I
encounter, that I have to learn,I have to be patient with it one
step at a time. There's stuff going on a little
(51:28):
deeper than that. I'd like you to kind of settle
into that. And you know the is there, Are
there specific notions, thoughts, sensations that you
draw upon to bring present? Because the file's already there
and you're just pulling it up into the present.
(51:49):
Does that make sense? Well, I'm, I'm always
cultivating that sense of inner peace.
It's something that I'm always working on because, you know,
there's a lot of stuff that comes up from the past, right?
So, and, and sometimes it just, sometimes it just comes up and
(52:13):
it's just, it's just an ever evolving thing.
And I have to be patient with it.
And I'm, I stay true to myself and I know that that inner peace
is something that is cultivated over time and there's really no
arrival. It's just a journey.
(52:36):
And that's the wonderful thing about it, is there's always
something ahead of you, right? There's never an end point.
Now you talk about the internal How do you recognize, and you're
looking around in the external world as you're going through
this centering, grounding, coherence process.
(52:59):
What do you notice that reflectsback to you that you pick up on,
perhaps quicker than others, Butwhat do you notice first in your
environment of how that change is recognized and reflected?
(53:19):
Well, when I'm out and about in the world, I noticed that people
are really in their own, you know, they're in their own
place. They're they're bubbles.
Not really. Yeah, they're in a bubble.
And I can see them there. I can see them there.
(53:42):
And they're just busy. They're, they're in the, they're
in the routine and the busyness of their lives, going here,
going there, taking care of this, taking care of that.
And, and just, that's where theyare.
(54:03):
And so I've just come to to really learn to just, you know.
Be present. Do you work with groups from
time to time? Oh yeah, I do.
When you're in those, do you notice and you're and you're
(54:27):
probably in a different role rather than the a functional
member of a team. You're probably a consultant
too. However, do you notice when you
are, I'll say, silently practicing your craft, Do you
notice a change in the behaviorsof others in the room?
(54:50):
Because stepping in right, you first had you just observe
what's going on and to figure out the playing field that
you're on and, and who the runner or who the team players
are and, and how they're behaving towards one another.
That's a, a really, you know, like that five to seven second
snapshot that you get of somebody when you first meet him
(55:11):
and you size him up and you makecertain, you know, assessments
if you will. What do you notice in the
transition or, or is it that demonstrable?
Because it seems like it would be from the time you enter a
room that's been out of kilter to the time that it's more
(55:31):
coherent. What do you see in the change of
behaviors of the team members? Appreciation.
A lot of appreciation. A lot of thank you for doing
what you do I because it's like they come together, they they,
(55:54):
they start in a dysregulated place and by the end of the time
together, there is a there is a coming home that happens and.
Constable shift. And they're, they, and a lot of
times they don't realize that's,you know, because they weren't
(56:16):
aware. But when they become aware of it
and they come home to themselvesand there's that just this sense
of peace there. And there's a lot of gratitude,
a lot of appreciation, a lot of love.
It's, it's really a beautiful thing.
And I've, I've had the privilegeof, of witnessing that.
(56:39):
Wonderful to experience. It's it's a beautiful gift for
me. It is.
And like you said, you know, the, the critical point of that
is the awareness because the behaviors are usually
unconscious because of whatever,whether it's trauma or
(57:02):
programming or whatever that their history has been because
it's worked for them. Now they're in a place where
things aren't working as well. And they've got to be able to
advance on their own evolutionary process to be more
of a part of the team cohesiveness, not just the
(57:25):
coherence. Do you see this kind of activity
becoming more present in small businesses and or what are the
challenges to gaining popularitymore in the larger corporate
(57:49):
environment because that's it still seems to be a numbers
driven, not necessarily a peopledriven environment.
Yeah. So there's a lot of skepticism.
That is a hurdle for sure, and Ithink skepticism is natural,
(58:13):
right? It's natural.
I think it can be healthy in a lot of ways.
Well, of course, of course it can be healthy.
It can definitely be healthy. I think it's a matter of
discernment and being, being aware of being aware of things a
little more and. Understanding that when we are
(58:43):
in a physiological optimal state, like we are in a calm
place, that we're going to show up in our best form and we're
going to maintain access to the prefrontal cortex where our
(59:04):
executive functioning lives, instead of allowing the stress
response to shut that access. And now we're only reacting from
our amygdala because it's that reaction that's that reaction
that react. For a human, not reptile, right?
Yeah, it's that reactionary state that is what causes
(59:29):
stress, what causes us to snap at people, what causes us to it
Just it is, it is at the core ofof the disharmony.
Yeah, yeah. And forgiveness is always a good
thing. And saying thank you, you know,
(59:51):
please. And being willing to admit the
challenges one faces. There's often times do you, do
you find that there's some in insome of these processes that
there's divulging of how a person got to that trigger point
(01:00:18):
or or what caused it in a reflection so that there is
greater understanding and maybe compassion towards it?
I think impact compassion is is huge.
I think, I think if we are more compassionate with each other,
we can, we can, you know, give grace.
(01:00:39):
You know, this person apparentlyis having a hard time.
And, you know, we all have our moments.
We all have those, those momentswhen we're not at our best.
Well, and the fear is sharing secrets that are going to be
used against you in the future, right?
That that's one of the processesthat's happened in our society.
(01:01:04):
Well, it comes down to can I trust this person?
Can I trust this person to be vulnerable with them 'cause some
people you can't be vulnerable with them because they're you
can't trust them. It trust is so important.
Establishing that mutual trust, eliminating fear, establishing
(01:01:25):
mutual trust and respect, maintaining coherent
communication. These are the three top thing
leadership imperatives. And if somebody, somebody who
doesn't trust is not going to bevulnerable, I mean, who could?
(01:01:45):
I couldn't. I can't blame them if they're if
they're in an environment that is unsafe, of course they're not
going to be vulnerable. Of course they're not going to
reveal themselves or or or even take the chance of of sharing
how they're feeling unless they really can trust that the other
person is going to receive it and and not judge or be critical
(01:02:08):
of them. What do you find challenging for
yourself in these situations? Well, when someone in the past,
I used to get very, very hurt byit.
Now I don't allow stuff like that to hurt because it's not my
(01:02:31):
business what other people thinkof me.
It's not my business and how people think of me as a
projection of where they are andnot who I am.
So I don't let it bother me. An interesting paradox there,
right? The the doesn't matter what I
think, feel to believe about myself and how others perceive
(01:02:53):
me. And then it doesn't matter what
others perceive about me, but what I think, feel, and believe
about myself, right? So how do you find harmony
between those two aspects of being?
Well, if, if I'm attached to an ideal, if I'm attached to things
(01:03:18):
that, then it's going to be hard.
But if I remain unattached to either my thinking or someone
else's thinking, then I'm fine because my mind only knows where
it's been, right? It's only going to it only.
So I'm just going to release. I'm just going to be with what
(01:03:39):
is and I'm not going to judge whether it's myself or it's
coming from someone else. Then comes the inquiry, you
know, is what did you mean by that?
I, I heard you say this, but I'mnot quite sure.
Could you unpack that a little bit please, Right.
And see where that conversation goes in the layers that can be
(01:04:04):
peeled back to examine the capacity to find a union with
the other as opposed or a betterdance at least.
What do you do when you you know, we're getting kind of
(01:04:25):
close to time and. And so I'd love to have a, a
tasty tidbit of some kind of a potential technique or something
that an individual might be ableto use who finds themselves in a
place where there's this wonky energy and and they're not quite
(01:04:45):
sure what to do about it. Certainly.
So it's a technique that was introduced by the Heart Math
Institute. It's called Heart focused
breathing, and you can do this anywhere.
You can do it with your eyes open or closed.
And the way it goes is, well, you focus your attention in the
(01:05:05):
area of the heart. Can you imagine the breath
flowing in and out through the heart, deeper and slower than
usual, with five seconds on the in breath, 5 seconds on the out
(01:05:28):
breath, or whatever's comfortable?
It's amazing how inspiration happens, Not just aspiration,
inspiration. Such an inspiring conversation
(01:05:54):
with you, Suzanne. It's just been a great
conversation and I love how you presented the whole notion of
being able to find peace and harmony through the work that
you're doing and and helping theleadership of organizations find
(01:06:14):
that within themselves too. Yeah, it's an honor.
It's there's an honor in this work.
I'm I feel very, very honored toto help in that way.
I feel called to this work. I'm hip to that and it's a
wonderful calling, isn't it? Not not an easy one to navigate
(01:06:37):
sometimes. And and yet that's, you know, as
we proceed with our own self growth, so we bring others along
with us. Super.
I really appreciate your time, Suzette, and thank you so much
for being with us. Thank you, Zen.
Thank you for having me. You're welcome and Namaste and
(01:06:59):
in LA Ketch, and thanks for sticking with us for this
episode of One World in a New World.
I'm your host, Zen Benefiel, andI'll see you next time.
Namaste and in Locketch and welcome to this episode of One
World and a New World. And as you know, the apocalyptic
chats are about uncovering knowledge, how we bridge that
inner and outer reality that we are bereft of doing today
because we just don't talk aboutit.
Our objective is to get that outin the open and start talking
about it so that we can bridge that gap and create a better
(00:23):
future together. This week's guest is Suzette
West and she is first of all an ICF International Coaching
Federation certified Executive Coach.
She has a Master of Arts in social, in transformational
social change. So I know this is going to be
just a phenomenal conversation, so stick around, we'll be right
(00:47):
back. Explore the thoughtless sphere.
Embark on a life changing journey of self discovery.
Embrace harmony with self, with others, with first One world in
a new world. Zen Benefield skillfully ignites
conversations, guiding guests toreveal personal journeys and
perspectives. Listeners are inspired to seek
(01:10):
knowledge and find wisdom in their own lives.
Join this this formative journeyas we navigate the depth of
human experience. Suzette, it is such an honor and
a great opportunity to have you with us today.
Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me.
Such a pleasure. Now I also noticed that your
(01:32):
certified heart math. I want to tap on that a little
bit, but first I'm going to diveinto the archives and, and maybe
understand, knowing that you have had this interconnection
for quite some time, when did itfirst begin?
How was life at the time and andhow did it first or how did you
(01:55):
first become aware that there was more than just the physical
world? Well, I've, I've been, I was
born empathic like I, I've always had that ability to, to
tap into emotions. And what I did when I was young
(02:19):
was I often mistake miss, you know, took a took on other
people's emotions as, as my own just because I was young and I
didn't understand. But I've always had a
connection, some connection, otherworldly connection, and.
Pardon me for interrupting. I begging the question, how did
(02:42):
you learn that they weren't yours?
I I've had similar opportunitiesand and was born that way as
well. When did you figure out that,
oh, those aren't my feelings that I'm feeling?
It wasn't until much later in life.
(03:02):
So already I think I, I was probably already in my 40s when
I learned about, you know, empathic people taking on other
people's emotions and not realizing it.
Prior to that, it was just, I was living in reactivity.
(03:24):
And yeah, it was a very, it was very difficult in those early
years, so. Yeah, back to the early years,
How how did that affect your socialization?
Yeah, so I was it, it affected alot.
(03:44):
I mean my, my ability to I had like social anxiety really bad
because I. Can imagine.
Yeah, it was really bad. But you know, it was a journey
that I had to move through to understand empathy, to
(04:05):
understand how we take on other people's emotions and not
realize it, how to process emotions, how to be with
difficult emotions. All that stuff was just it was a
learning process and I had to learn to be patient with it.
Sure. Do you think that's what leads
or has LED us to become a codependent nation?
(04:31):
I think. The reason I ask that is the the
sensitivity that we all have andyet don't acknowledge, right.
We we're constantly people pleasers because we want to feel
good about that. Well, I think a lot of us, yeah.
Well, I think because emotions are not very well understood and
(04:52):
in, in, in a lot of places, we're taught to, you know, stuff
our emotions, you know, emotionsare seen as weak or, you know,
like emotions are something to hide or stuff.
And that is when we run into problems when we're stuffing
(05:14):
emotions, when we're disconnected from our emotions
and we're not able to learn how to sit with those difficult
emotions. We check out, we fall into
addictions, we fall into, you know, people pleasing, you know,
anything to, to, to not deal with what we're feeling.
(05:34):
And I feel like now we're being called more than ever to go
inward and to really connect with emotions because our
emotions are the leading, are the biggest drainers of our
energy. What do you think's causing
that? And I'm in agreement that it it
does feel that there seems to anyway be on exterior wise.
(06:00):
There's a a questioning that's going on internally.
There's this sense of almost just a slight rise in energy, if
that makes sense. Well, what do you, what do you
experience? And, and you've been in multiple
places and, and with all the research that you've done,
(06:23):
transformative social change. Do you see these types of things
affecting individuals, communities and the like and a
growing presence of that? Or is it still rather subdued?
(06:43):
I think people are starting to learn more about emotional self
regulation, emotional intelligence.
What I'd like to say is being, being coherent, being heart
coherent, meaning where the, theheart and the mind are aligned.
This is so important. I mean, especially when you're
going through challenges. It's, it's our ability to
(07:06):
maintain access to our executivefunctioning, like our ability to
problem solve, our ability to vision, envision a way forward
as opposed to getting shut out by the stress response.
And then we're reacting to things.
And it's when we're reacting that we're just acting
(07:29):
impulsively. We're, we're not thinking before
we speak or we are judging or we're being critical or we're
being distrusting. That's that fear, fearful,
fearful thinking, fearful consciousness.
Absolutely. We're stuck there.
There's a lot of that going on. Yeah.
(07:50):
Now, do you think also that there is a presence of a sense
of not being understood that comes before we even begin to
speak sometimes, and so it retards or or doesn't allow us
(08:12):
to distill coherent thinking andthoughts in into psychologically
safe, intellectually humble remarks.
Now, in that psychological safety and intellectually,
humbly present presentation, do you find that there is core
(08:38):
emotion or core value that seemsto be wanting to be expressed
that hasn't been able to the societal structures we've had?
Well, I think the fear of being judged, the fear of being
(08:59):
rejected, the fear of abandonment keeps a lot of
people from speaking their voice, from speaking from their
heart. You can, you can say something,
you know, you can address an issue, say something to a person
(09:25):
in a, from a place of compassion, and it'll be
received totally different than if you came from a critical
place. So if you're, if you've got
judgement in your voice, if you've got, you're criticizing
and you, you've got this, you know, people feel that your
(09:48):
words contain, you know, energy and the intention and the, and
right, like, what are your intentions with these words?
You can say the exact same wordsin a mean way or in a loving
way, and they're going to be taken in two different ways,
even though you're saying the same thing.
And it's because of that energy that's behind those words.
(10:12):
And we're not, we're not mindfulof that.
We're not aware of that. We're just reacting.
But if we are, we maintain heartcoherence and we maintain that
executive thinking capacity. Let's my intention is to be a
compassionate human being. How can I bridge this and just
(10:35):
address the issue in a way that'll be well received?
How can I do? That pause button, when you get
triggered, right, the first thing that happens, you hit the
pause button, take a breath and recenter and recognize that yes,
you're, you're sensing this energy from another because
that's how we're built. Yeah, 85% of communication
(10:56):
happens non verbally and and energetically rather than
energetically. The voice and tone right part of
it in this, in this transceivership of our bodies,
if you will, you know we have various systems, the chakras
then we've got also the indigenous three brain system,
the gut, the heart and the head.The gut feels everything.
(11:20):
Since we know from quantum physics now that everything's
vibration, how would we be designed to navigate that?
We have a sensory array to do so, right?
We don't recognize that. So we get the gut, you know, we
get to hit the gut and right away we judge because we don't
(11:41):
distill it in the heart to figure out where it's coming
from and how to deal with it. And then we have a reactionary
interaction instead of a mindful1.
Whereas if you would have processed it first with the gut
recognize, OK, this doesn't feelso good.
Is it intentional? You know, is it, is it desirable
(12:02):
or undesirable? And then what do I do with it in
a kind, compassionate way? Is that something because it's,
it's a behavior mod program, right?
If you want to look at it from that perspective, how do we
facilitate that in common conversations?
(12:25):
What what's the key features of that?
And especially in facilitating social change, how does that
work in spilling out into the neighborhood, so to speak?
Well, any kind of societal change is going to have, it's
going to be, it's not going to be easy.
(12:45):
It's, it's going to be a challenging thing and it's going
to be really important to maintain that anchor within
ourselves and to breathe to really understand there's so
much power in the breath. And when we pause and when we
use the breath to slow down thatstress response and just be with
(13:10):
that uncomfortable emotion and then with just that intention to
bridge and build understanding, staying coherent, staying heart
coherent is the key to bridging.If we can't maintain a heart
(13:34):
coherent state when we attempt to bridge with someone who maybe
perceives things differently, it's going to trigger things.
And if we're not heart coherent,if we're not present with our or
who we are inside and just anchored in that inner knowing,
you know that intention, we can easily start reacting.
(14:02):
And when we're reacting, that's when things fall apart.
And they fall apart very well, only to come back together.
You know, they say this often times.
Breakthrough is a series of breakdowns in this.
You mentioned the anchor, right?What is that?
(14:23):
We hear the word. The term is, you know, I anchor,
I center, I get grounded. What's that mean to you?
For me, it means feeling my heart and just being centered
into that heart space, just focusing on it, feeling the
(14:47):
sensations, feeling the sensations, knowing that it's
going to be OK and just be with this moment, just be with this
discomfort right now and it'll pass.
(15:08):
And then when it passes, that discomfort lifts.
And it always does, because a feeling fully felt passes
through. When we allow the feelings to
pass, we grow a little more every time we move through it.
You almost become more permeablein allowing that energy to flow
(15:33):
through you rather than get stuck in you.
It's like layers of an onion. Every time we heal, a new layer
and it happened, you know, it's like, it's like waves, you know,
it's like grieving. Grieving never stops.
Once you have experienced a lossor if you have some kind of a
trauma, it's like people often mistake healing as, oh, I'm
(15:59):
healed, it'll never happen again.
That's not true. What's true is you're still
going to have things come up from the past.
You're still going to have experiences of these emotions,
but every time the tide rolls in, you're going to have the
tools to be able to sit with it,process it, and let it move.
(16:20):
Because sometimes that's all we have to do is just let it move.
Let it pass, feel it to heal it,just let it pass.
You mentioned heart coherence, and this is a term I believe
that comes out of the Heart MathInstitute of which you're
associated with. Can you explain a little bit
(16:41):
about what heart math is and what that is designed to do to
help in in this kind of coherence?
So coherence is an optimal stateof functioning.
It's when the heart and mind thebecause we have electromagnetic
(17:04):
activity happening and when the heart and the mind are together,
their, their patterns are risingand falling In Sync.
Whereas when it's not together, it's really jagged.
And so coherence is a state of optimal functioning.
And we can achieve that by a daily breath practice that it's
(17:31):
it's like exercise. It's like building that muscle.
You can't go to a gym and then after one day expect to have
this, you know, really buffs, you know, set up you.
Can't go through a drive through.
It's not like going through McDonald's, you know, there's no
look enlightenment. There's discipline and practice.
To it, it's a you we have coherent muscles and that is,
(17:56):
and that is when we, we drop theheart to the, into the mind and
we focus the breath and we use the breath to, to breathe deeply
and slowly through the heart. And we release thoughts and we
focus and use the breath and we build that muscle.
(18:17):
And ideally we're doing this a few times a day, you know, 5
minutes, three times a day. And over time we start to build
more resiliency throughout our day.
But it's not something that happens overnight.
(18:37):
It has to, it is a, it takes a daily practice to build that
muscle. So coherence is like an
energetic emotional muscle. And when we do it, we're
actually recharging our inner battery when we do that.
(18:57):
And that's that's what makes us resilient.
Now, in that desire for coherence, is there a deeper
desire that that's present? And I often think that, you
know, our core is really about loving and being loved, and
(19:18):
that's what we seek. We don't really understand what
that truly is. However, we talk about a lot,
right? We try to get there and then we
fight ourselves in the process of trying to control and
dominate and, you know, do all those kind of human things.
But this is more of an acquiescence too, rather than a
(19:39):
grabbing a hold of right it would that be kind of what the
process that heart math and and these processes accomplish?
Well, heart math is just a pieceof the work that I, that I do.
And it was one of the first, thefirst practices, the first
methods that I learned that really helped me in my, in my
(20:01):
own healing journey. And I've since discovered, you
know, a lot of different methodsand authors and teachers that
really helped me along the way. And it really comes down to an
inner decision, an inner decision to allow the heart to
(20:28):
lift us up, because the heart isa powerful thing.
Absolutely. And you can sense it.
You know, it's what came to mindseveral years ago, is I, at
least I and I say I think, and you're going to that, I'm going
to counter that. So we can't think our way
(20:50):
through a system built on vibration.
We have to sense our way throughit.
So this is to me, part of that evolutionary leap that we're
having now that is a result of questioning everything.
During the recent kerfuffle thatwe had and the global shutdown,
(21:12):
people started asking questions of, you know, who am I?
What, what do I really believe in?
What am I willing to do about that?
Am I in, do I love myself? And and we often, you know,
think that's a little by list ornihilistic or egotistical,
(21:32):
egomaniacal, But when you think about self love, you've got to
take care of yourself. You've got to be in that place
before you can share it with another.
So this inner work to get there seems imperative in order for
the rest of us to move forward collectively.
(21:55):
How do you see that taking placethrough the work that you do?
And what do you find some of theeffective tools for that are?
Yeah, so excuse me, My my dog ishaving a fit right now.
I love it when the little ones enter in.
Yeah, yeah, she's being really vocal right now.
(22:17):
Not coming through on this end. Oh, OK, OK, cool.
You know, it's where we are in the world right now is that
there's a lot of division going on and it's driven by fear.
There's a lot of fear that's driving humanity.
And we're, we're fearful and of,of, of people who are not like
(22:42):
us. We're, we're fearful of people
who think differently than us. And I think a lot of us are now
starting to learn to allow, to surrender, to surrender to what
is, you know, to surrender and to just allow, allow things to
(23:07):
be what they are and, and trust.And that's so hard.
It's so hard to trust when you don't see what's coming or when
you don't, when things are uncertain.
It's so hard to trust in the process if you.
Trust yourself implicitly. Is it easier to trust the
(23:29):
environment you're in? It's easier to navigate because
we can then accept whatever's happening outside of us is
that's just the way it is. That's not on us.
And we can just, we can just just let it go, you know, we can
(23:52):
just let things like that go andnot.
Or choose how to participate. Right or.
Conscious choice rather than feel pushed and pulled and not
in control. Cuz the only thing that we do
have control of is that choice and our own capacity for
navigation, right? Yeah, well, I think control is
an illusion for sure. Absolutely.
(24:14):
Control is definitely an illusion.
And yet there's a larger aspect of it that seems to be in place
when you do surrender, that whenyou do seek inner guidance and
then you pay attention to it, there's this capacity.
(24:35):
I don't know if it's universal law or infinite intelligence or
God or whatever you want to callit.
It's this conscious intelligencethat wants the best for you,
right? Or maybe not wants the best.
I'll say it. There's a content that that's
(24:57):
neutral but based on your choiceis supportive of it.
Yeah, because that speaks to ourability to create, whether we
realize it or not. And if you don't think you are a
creator, go inside, examine how you're thinking and feeling, and
look at the environment around you and see how it's reflecting.
It'll give you an idea of whether you know you're
(25:20):
congruent or not, or coherent inthat fashion.
And when when you've you're coming from a place where all of
this is new and you don't understand what's going on,
there can be a lot of fear behind that.
And that's why absolutely, in those instances it is freaky.
(25:43):
Could be that sensitive and all of a sudden, you know, feel
almost like your body is being moved beyond something that
you're able to manage because you've allowed yourself to be
sensitive to it. So that's the, it's like you
open that door. It's like, whoa, where am I
(26:03):
going? And you start, you know, and yet
there's a certain amount of trust and courage, fearlessness
in that radically and being radically curious in some cases
too, it seems the truth loves tobe questioned.
How else do we prove it? Right, right.
(26:27):
You can't trust anything that you can't prove.
Yet there's a certain amount of faith that you can, based on the
evidence of what you've been given to date.
In those moments of that sense of connectedness and coherence,
how do you find ways to have that more repeatable?
(26:50):
It is beyond the discipline, beyond the practice.
What are some of the internalizations of the
considerations that you have in the process of that and your
relationship to your own belief about yourself?
(27:13):
OK, well, I, I first of all, when I find myself in in a
triggered state, you know, I go inward and I ask myself, what am
I feeling right now? Where is this coming from?
How am I feeling? What is this that I'm feeling?
Where am I feeling it? And then and then I just relax
(27:41):
into it and I don't try to thinkabout it.
I don't try to, I don't try to think back on bad memories.
I don't try to think of old stories.
You know, this is happening because of this or that the
other. It's just being present and
still with what I'm feeling and self soothing.
(28:01):
It's going to be OK. We just got to move through
this. It's going to be OK.
And I breathe. I breathe through it and that's
how I get through it. And it's rarely, if ever an
experience of a life threateningmoment, right?
(28:23):
We're, I guess I started to use the word blast for those kinds
of conditions here in America and in other places in the world
that there's some places and that we just aren't taking care
(28:44):
of one another. We're allowing things to happen
to chaos, the degradation, the mistreatment of others.
And it would seem that if we were conscious planet or we had
a conscious society and we livedwith what we preached to others,
(29:04):
we believe that those devastatedareas would be the first ones
we'd address. Because I, that's just my own
feeling and opinion, right? But the obviousness of it is
that we talk a lot. We don't do a lot of walking.
(29:25):
Yeah. What would that walk look like
to you? Well, it would be work, you
know, making sure that my coherence is strong, making sure
that my resiliency is built up daily so that I can face all the
(29:51):
challenges that come my way. And sometimes there's going to
be days when they're not going to, they're going to be, there's
good and bad days. And on those bad days, I just
have to allow and be with what is and breathe through it and
know that it's going to be OK and find that find that
foundation to of courage. I got this.
(30:16):
I, I can handle this. I can do this.
This is just a feeling. It's just a feeling.
It's going to, it's going to move.
I just got to be with it. And then I'm still and then I'm
breathing through it and it always moves.
And then I feel much stronger when it moves.
(30:40):
And does it happen a lot quickerthan talking about it in those
moments? Because you know, we're both
professionals, we've been in high stress, high activity
production environments, manufacturing and, and you know,
service organizations, things ofthat nature.
When we're in that flow of perceived order, what are the
(31:03):
things that that can happen or ways that others who are
experiencing this constriction in the workplace, Let's see how
can that or these practices benefit that?
And is there a way to incorporate them and not be that
(31:30):
obvious to others? Because that's one of the things
that you know, people like, well, you, you know, you're
going to be doing this, you're going to do that.
You know, you're carrying aroundsage or you're wearing a bunch
of beads. This isn't that right?
That that's all just accoutrements to show off, I
think because the real works inside and in behavior towards
(31:53):
others. So how did how would you suggest
that using these kinds of thingswould work in stressful places
in the workplace or in adversarial places?
Well, the thing to remember is that when we do keep a daily
practice, we also strengthen ourawareness of of our of our
(32:18):
Interstate. And so during work, it's really
important to take breath breaks,5 minutes here, 5 minutes there.
And no one has to know that you're doing it.
You just have to do it and just breathe deeply and slowly
through the heart. Just it's.
(32:42):
So different today. When I was in the my initial
diving of the corporate world, Iworked for an aerospace company
and youngest person. I was advanced because of my
work and promoted and and then rose to the top on a production
chart of the 35 member department.
And unbeknownst I was the youngest one in the department
(33:06):
too. And I had a couple of
supervisors come to me and ask me how I was doing that.
I had no idea and I was just having fun getting along, doing
stuff and I had to think for a moment.
I said, well, it's just under personal skills, you know, I'd
live by the golden rule. I'd do my best to help others do
(33:26):
their job while they're doing stuff for me.
And if I can do something else and I have the time to do so,
then Ioffer that as well. And it's amazing the difference
that it made, especially in a command and control environment
where you, you know, the usual behavior is first a no and then
(33:47):
a person of thinking they're superior trying to beat the
other over the head with threatsof going to their boss to get
what they need right. How many times does that happen?
This is in the 80s. What interpersonal skills
classes were then was basically understanding emotional
intelligence and how to deal with it today.
(34:08):
And yet it was a mess then. Today's far different.
There's all kinds of activity now in corporate worlds to
servant leadership being one of those opportunities that's being
explored, which in, you know, the leader serves the people,
(34:30):
not the opposite, which is what the the old paradigm is.
How do you see these activities that you're doing reflecting
that and assisting in this up wising, if you will, within
corporate America? Well, I help leaders activate
(34:54):
their inner resources, their their self-awareness, their
connection to the inner battery that must be recharged because
if we don't recharge it, it willget depleted and we like that's
what the daily practice is about.
And then I also help leaders activate another inner
(35:16):
resources, the inner, the inner GPS.
So that intuitive, the intuitivegift that we have naturally, the
intuitive equipment that helps us tap into the energetics of
what's happening around us. So we can, because there's a lot
of information there that we won't pick up if we don't tune
(35:38):
into it. So I, I work with leaders to, to
hone that's those skills so thatthey can resource themselves, so
they can be tapped into their inner wisdom, so that they can
be fully resourced and able to handle the challenges of the
day-to-day life and also be ableto tap into the undercurrents.
(36:02):
What's going on in the undercurrents because there's a
lot of information here. And, and then that information
can help us develop informed intuition, which then helps us
make smarter decisions. And that's how I help leaders.
And, and we don't, I say we, those who have not been in
(36:27):
leadership roles like that don'toften recognize or realize the
kind of stress that's involved because of the responsibilities.
You know, most workers, you know, they're responsible for
their desk and, you know, maybe working with a few people.
And then as you rise up in that hierarchical structure, there's
(36:49):
more and more responsibility from a fiduciary standpoint, as
well as a human resource and safety and security standpoint
where people can feel that they're supported in the work
(37:10):
rather than just filling a spot.So just so in this and
essentially we're talking about building community within an
organization, how do you see that trickle down through the
organization or what would be a noticeable difference in it when
(37:30):
these practices are made by and changes are made by the
leadership? Well, when leadership, when the
energy of the leadership changes, it changes the people
because you've got that, you've got that energetics, the
(37:52):
energetics of how can I support you?
You matter, I want to support you.
How can we work together to makethis better?
I care. I care and I want to support.
How can we make this better, youknow?
(38:16):
What I hear you say is all in how we speak to others, the
compassion, the kindness that weuse in that opportunity to work
together to accomplish a common goal.
You know, when you decide a company of a mission and vision
everybody is working toward, howwell that's related in the
(38:36):
culture that's created around that is up to the leadership.
And when these changes are made,do you do you stick around long
enough to see what the results in the company are?
Do you get reports back? See the increase in production
(38:58):
or output or? Yeah, people I've worked with,
they keep, they keep in touch with me and I, I get to hear all
kinds of wonderful results. You know, one of my clients was
going through her doctorate's degree and raising 6 grandkids
and took over as a program manager for a behavioral health
(39:25):
company. And I hear from her all the time
about how these tools really help because it it's about
making them yours and then putting them to use.
And it becomes a lifeline. And it really, it still helps
her. And she keeps in touch with me.
Absolutely. You know, I don't expect to be
(39:46):
tied to people forever. I know that once they develop
the right, they have that toolbox and they have the
routines and they know what they're supposed to do.
You know, I've, I've done my job.
And if they want extra support, they're absolutely more than
welcome to, I'm happy to support.
But I know it's not, it's not meant to be a lifelong thing.
(40:08):
It's meant to support them and get having the tools and then
and then the practices and then the strategies and then that
sense of self and those once those inner resources are
activated and strengthened, theygrow.
And as they grow, so do we. It makes sense.
(40:34):
And the obvious would like, yeah, this is something that,
you know, getting along, workingtogether for a common goal, you
know, unless it's not a I'd say unless it's not a life friendly
activity. And and even then that those
things matter. However, as we're engaging in
(40:59):
these practices, life becomes more precious and it would seem
that there would be a rising desire to change whatever
leadership is promoting those kinds of activities.
And especially right now, you know that it's, even though
(41:22):
we're trying to make Evergreen contract, there's this notion
right now that there's some concern and there's some hope as
well as these voices are being raised that are tired of
(41:45):
treating others like they're notlike us.
Now I open the show with Namastein La Catch.
Namaste is a Sanskrit greeting, you know, I worship that which
is within you is originally whatit meant.
And then in La ketch is a Mayan phrase.
It means I am another you. So as we, you know, grow in
(42:08):
these things we've come to recognize and maybe you can
validate this too, is that we see ourselves in others and we
want to understand what we don'tsee of ourselves in the others
so that we're better attuned noweven.
But his fifth habit is seek to understand before being
(42:29):
understood conflict. There was AI had a mentor, a
dear friend from 20 years. My senior lawyer was into
alternate, alternate dispute resolution.
And he said to me at one point that, you know, there really is
(42:53):
no conflict. There's just miscommunication
and you stop and think it's OK. So what's that really mean?
Well, you come to the table withyour dictionary, you speak and
listen to and from it and the other person has one too, but
(43:14):
it's different than yours, right?
So then how that sameness is navigated is up to the kinds of
practices and questions and presence that is brought into
that situation. Recognize that.
OK. And maybe it's the beginning of
(43:37):
we're really saying the same thing differently.
We just need to figure it out. Right.
Because we don't want the same thing, right?
We want to love and be loved. Well, that trickles out into the
things that we think mean that as far as, you know, the
contracts and the awards and, you know, negotiating salaries
(43:58):
and things of that nature, that's all part of that.
And yet it's not the fulfillmentof it.
It's the trickle down of the result of it being done
effectively. Would you agree with that?
Yeah, Yeah. I think that not being on the
same page is, is the number one thing to look for.
(44:20):
It's like, OK, are we on the same?
Clearly we're not on the same page.
But we often assume. We are.
How can I? Yeah.
But when you feel that dissonance, when you feel that
tension and clearly something we're not on the same page, you
feel that. And then we can stop and ask
ourselves, OK, apparently we're not on the same page.
(44:43):
What can I do to help us get people get everyone on the same
page and, and everyone's not going to get on the same page at
the same time at the same pace. Sometimes it takes the person a
little longer to get on the samepage.
And we have to, we have to be able to sense that and give the
(45:05):
grace to allow that person to get on the same page so we can
have a meaningful conversation. Or even recognize the trigger in
yourself. No, wait a minute.
OK, Why? What happened here?
In my understanding, what's going on?
Even when you come, you know, I did partnering workshops for
bridge construction for 20 years.
(45:26):
And construction environments are the most adversarial ones
you can get into at times. And yet there's this capacity to
engage another. What do you think is that core
capacity that we have to engage another from that place of
(45:49):
seeking coherence? Remaining open, remaining
receptive, understanding that people are going to be thinking
differently. That's the passive side of it.
What's the active side? Asking questions to understand.
(46:14):
How can you know? Help me understand.
I want to understand. Nonviolent communication, right?
Those are things that we don't often consider of how we speak
to another as to whether we're intending to cause a trigger or
pull. 1 You know, my dad taught me when, when I was younger,
(46:37):
when I was in my going to my judge mental stage, he said be
careful when you point a finger.You've got 3 coming back at you.
So you better have at least three solutions to apply or
don't open your mouth. Now that didn't always work.
(46:57):
I, you know, most of the time I only had one or two, but still,
when you're facilitating people,places and things to do things
in massive ways, you've really got to consider that because
they're just another piece of you.
Every person you touch is just another piece of you that you're
(47:19):
becoming aware of. Again, perhaps you know, we
there's all kinds of things we could go down the rabbit hole as
far as having been here before and karmic returns and all those
kinds of things, which may or may not be a click.
I would. But that's also part of what
(47:40):
would you say that that's also part of recognizing what those
traumas as you're analyzing the whys, you know, for the triggers
and the sensations and things like that.
How deep does that go sometimes?Do you find that there are
instances that don't feel like they've come from this life and
(48:04):
and have been a recurring pattern that they're addressing?
Are are there those types of recognitions or realizations in
your clients? Well, there's that's, that's
the, that's human nature, right?Like we all, we all have that,
you know, from epigenetics. You if you've studied Bruce
Lipton Doctor Bruce Lipton and his work in that epigenetics.
(48:26):
Swamia. I mentioned Swamia.
Pardon me, I'm kind of neuro diverse and it'll butt in
anywhere sometimes, but hopefully I forgive me Swami
beyond Ananda and Steve Berman Co wrote conscious evolution
with Bruce Lipton and a phenomenal book anyway, and it's
(48:51):
Steve is an early guest on on one world.
I've known him for I don't know.Gosh, too long. 30 years,
something like that. Yeah.
Time flies, yeah. So how does time fly for you?
(49:12):
One day at a time. When you're.
One day at a time, living in thepresent.
But when when you're in this practice and you're in an
activity, what do you notice thedifferences in how time feels in
those different kinds of situations?
(49:33):
In what way? Whether it feels fast, slow,
rushed, but whether you have a sense of time at all.
Well, when I'm working on something, time flies.
When I'm working on something that I'm really engaged in,
yeah, time will fly. But when I allow myself to be
(49:57):
still, time slows down and I canjust, I can just be in the
moment. I didn't always.
I wasn't always able to do that,but I did.
I. Did well.
It takes practice. I mean, even the best of us.
Anything that you master? What was it that says 10,000
(50:22):
hours of practice? I think was the statistic that I
heard recently. In order to master anything,
it'd be good if something still not master it still it gives you
an idea of the amount of time that we that is required right
(50:43):
To engage. Have patience with the process.
That's big. And isn't everything a process?
Everything is a process, yes. What are some of those processes
that you recognize in yourself that have been the most
(51:06):
beneficial? That I'm constantly evolving,
that I'm constantly growing, andthat whatever new thing that I
encounter, that I have to learn,I have to be patient with it one
step at a time. There's stuff going on a little
(51:28):
deeper than that. I'd like you to kind of settle
into that. And you know the is there, Are
there specific notions, thoughts, sensations that you
draw upon to bring present? Because the file's already there
and you're just pulling it up into the present.
(51:49):
Does that make sense? Well, I'm, I'm always
cultivating that sense of inner peace.
It's something that I'm always working on because, you know,
there's a lot of stuff that comes up from the past, right?
So, and, and sometimes it just, sometimes it just comes up and
(52:13):
it's just, it's just an ever evolving thing.
And I have to be patient with it.
And I'm, I stay true to myself and I know that that inner peace
is something that is cultivated over time and there's really no
arrival. It's just a journey.
(52:36):
And that's the wonderful thing about it, is there's always
something ahead of you, right? There's never an end point.
Now you talk about the internal How do you recognize, and you're
looking around in the external world as you're going through
this centering, grounding, coherence process.
(52:59):
What do you notice that reflectsback to you that you pick up on,
perhaps quicker than others, Butwhat do you notice first in your
environment of how that change is recognized and reflected?
(53:19):
Well, when I'm out and about in the world, I noticed that people
are really in their own, you know, they're in their own
place. They're they're bubbles.
Not really. Yeah, they're in a bubble.
And I can see them there. I can see them there.
(53:42):
And they're just busy. They're, they're in the, they're
in the routine and the busyness of their lives, going here,
going there, taking care of this, taking care of that.
And, and just, that's where theyare.
(54:03):
And so I've just come to to really learn to just, you know.
Be present. Do you work with groups from
time to time? Oh yeah, I do.
When you're in those, do you notice and you're and you're
(54:27):
probably in a different role rather than the a functional
member of a team. You're probably a consultant
too. However, do you notice when you
are, I'll say, silently practicing your craft, Do you
notice a change in the behaviorsof others in the room?
(54:50):
Because stepping in right, you first had you just observe
what's going on and to figure out the playing field that
you're on and, and who the runner or who the team players
are and, and how they're behaving towards one another.
That's a, a really, you know, like that five to seven second
snapshot that you get of somebody when you first meet him
(55:11):
and you size him up and you makecertain, you know, assessments
if you will. What do you notice in the
transition or, or is it that demonstrable?
Because it seems like it would be from the time you enter a
room that's been out of kilter to the time that it's more
(55:31):
coherent. What do you see in the change of
behaviors of the team members? Appreciation.
A lot of appreciation. A lot of thank you for doing
what you do I because it's like they come together, they they,
(55:54):
they start in a dysregulated place and by the end of the time
together, there is a there is a coming home that happens and.
Constable shift. And they're, they, and a lot of
times they don't realize that's,you know, because they weren't
(56:16):
aware. But when they become aware of it
and they come home to themselvesand there's that just this sense
of peace there. And there's a lot of gratitude,
a lot of appreciation, a lot of love.
It's, it's really a beautiful thing.
And I've, I've had the privilegeof, of witnessing that.
(56:39):
Wonderful to experience. It's it's a beautiful gift for
me. It is.
And like you said, you know, the, the critical point of that
is the awareness because the behaviors are usually
unconscious because of whatever,whether it's trauma or
(57:02):
programming or whatever that their history has been because
it's worked for them. Now they're in a place where
things aren't working as well. And they've got to be able to
advance on their own evolutionary process to be more
of a part of the team cohesiveness, not just the
(57:25):
coherence. Do you see this kind of activity
becoming more present in small businesses and or what are the
challenges to gaining popularitymore in the larger corporate
(57:49):
environment because that's it still seems to be a numbers
driven, not necessarily a peopledriven environment.
Yeah. So there's a lot of skepticism.
That is a hurdle for sure, and Ithink skepticism is natural,
(58:13):
right? It's natural.
I think it can be healthy in a lot of ways.
Well, of course, of course it can be healthy.
It can definitely be healthy. I think it's a matter of
discernment and being, being aware of being aware of things a
little more and. Understanding that when we are
(58:43):
in a physiological optimal state, like we are in a calm
place, that we're going to show up in our best form and we're
going to maintain access to the prefrontal cortex where our
(59:04):
executive functioning lives, instead of allowing the stress
response to shut that access. And now we're only reacting from
our amygdala because it's that reaction that's that reaction
that react. For a human, not reptile, right?
Yeah, it's that reactionary state that is what causes
(59:29):
stress, what causes us to snap at people, what causes us to it
Just it is, it is at the core ofof the disharmony.
Yeah, yeah. And forgiveness is always a good
thing. And saying thank you, you know,
(59:51):
please. And being willing to admit the
challenges one faces. There's often times do you, do
you find that there's some in insome of these processes that
there's divulging of how a person got to that trigger point
(01:00:18):
or or what caused it in a reflection so that there is
greater understanding and maybe compassion towards it?
I think impact compassion is is huge.
I think, I think if we are more compassionate with each other,
we can, we can, you know, give grace.
(01:00:39):
You know, this person apparentlyis having a hard time.
And, you know, we all have our moments.
We all have those, those momentswhen we're not at our best.
Well, and the fear is sharing secrets that are going to be
used against you in the future, right?
That that's one of the processesthat's happened in our society.
(01:01:04):
Well, it comes down to can I trust this person?
Can I trust this person to be vulnerable with them 'cause some
people you can't be vulnerable with them because they're you
can't trust them. It trust is so important.
Establishing that mutual trust, eliminating fear, establishing
(01:01:25):
mutual trust and respect, maintaining coherent
communication. These are the three top thing
leadership imperatives. And if somebody, somebody who
doesn't trust is not going to bevulnerable, I mean, who could?
(01:01:45):
I couldn't. I can't blame them if they're if
they're in an environment that is unsafe, of course they're not
going to be vulnerable. Of course they're not going to
reveal themselves or or or even take the chance of of sharing
how they're feeling unless they really can trust that the other
person is going to receive it and and not judge or be critical
(01:02:08):
of them. What do you find challenging for
yourself in these situations? Well, when someone in the past,
I used to get very, very hurt byit.
Now I don't allow stuff like that to hurt because it's not my
(01:02:31):
business what other people thinkof me.
It's not my business and how people think of me as a
projection of where they are andnot who I am.
So I don't let it bother me. An interesting paradox there,
right? The the doesn't matter what I
think, feel to believe about myself and how others perceive
(01:02:53):
me. And then it doesn't matter what
others perceive about me, but what I think, feel, and believe
about myself, right? So how do you find harmony
between those two aspects of being?
Well, if, if I'm attached to an ideal, if I'm attached to things
(01:03:18):
that, then it's going to be hard.
But if I remain unattached to either my thinking or someone
else's thinking, then I'm fine because my mind only knows where
it's been, right? It's only going to it only.
So I'm just going to release. I'm just going to be with what
(01:03:39):
is and I'm not going to judge whether it's myself or it's
coming from someone else. Then comes the inquiry, you
know, is what did you mean by that?
I, I heard you say this, but I'mnot quite sure.
Could you unpack that a little bit please, Right.
And see where that conversation goes in the layers that can be
(01:04:04):
peeled back to examine the capacity to find a union with
the other as opposed or a betterdance at least.
What do you do when you you know, we're getting kind of
(01:04:25):
close to time and. And so I'd love to have a, a
tasty tidbit of some kind of a potential technique or something
that an individual might be ableto use who finds themselves in a
place where there's this wonky energy and and they're not quite
(01:04:45):
sure what to do about it. Certainly.
So it's a technique that was introduced by the Heart Math
Institute. It's called Heart focused
breathing, and you can do this anywhere.
You can do it with your eyes open or closed.
And the way it goes is, well, you focus your attention in the
(01:05:05):
area of the heart. Can you imagine the breath
flowing in and out through the heart, deeper and slower than
usual, with five seconds on the in breath, 5 seconds on the out
(01:05:28):
breath, or whatever's comfortable?
It's amazing how inspiration happens, Not just aspiration,
inspiration. Such an inspiring conversation
(01:05:54):
with you, Suzanne. It's just been a great
conversation and I love how you presented the whole notion of
being able to find peace and harmony through the work that
you're doing and and helping theleadership of organizations find
(01:06:14):
that within themselves too. Yeah, it's an honor.
It's there's an honor in this work.
I'm I feel very, very honored toto help in that way.
I feel called to this work. I'm hip to that and it's a
wonderful calling, isn't it? Not not an easy one to navigate
(01:06:37):
sometimes. And and yet that's, you know, as
we proceed with our own self growth, so we bring others along
with us. Super.
I really appreciate your time, Suzette, and thank you so much
for being with us. Thank you, Zen.
Thank you for having me. You're welcome and Namaste and
(01:06:59):
in LA Ketch, and thanks for sticking with us for this
episode of One World in a New World.
I'm your host, Zen Benefiel, andI'll see you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.