Ep 206 Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Ep 206 One World in a New World with Tim Shurr 🌀 What if your anxiety wasn’t who you are—but what you've been trained to repeat?In this illuminating episode of One World in a New World, Zen Benefiel sits down with Tim Shurr, hypnotist, transformation coach, and author of Get Out of Your Way, One Belief Away, and Losing Weight Without Losing Your Mind. With over 30 years of experience and more than 16,000 private sessions, Tim brings a powerful and practical approach to eliminating emotional suffering at its root.Together, Zen and Tim explore the hidden beliefs that drive our behaviors, the stories we unconsciously accept, and the incredible power of recoding our inner world—one belief at a time.💡 How do we dissolve fear, not just manage it?💡 Can anxiety vanish in minutes with the right shift?💡 What’s the one belief keeping you from peace?🎧 If you’ve ever struggled with imposter syndrome, fear of speaking, or feeling “not enough,” this episode will change your perspective—and possibly your life.#TimShurr #OneBeliefAway #OneWorldPodcast #EmotionalHealing #StopSelfSabotage #InnerPeaceNow #RewriteYourStory #healingjourney Connect with Tim: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timshurr/Tim's books: https://amzn.to/3TztuWyJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuZl_29zHxehqeL89KSCWFA/join_______Assisting in harmony among people and planet: https://planetarycitizens.netConnect with Zen: https://linkedin.com/zenbenefielZen's books: https://amazon.com/author/zendorZen's Coaching: https://BeTheDream.com Zen's CV et al: https://zenbenefiel.comThe Octopus Movement (non-linear thinkers): https://theoctopusmovement.org Live and Let Live Global Peace Movement: https://liveandletlive.orgActivation Products: https://bit.ly/btdactivation

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Namaste and in LA catch and welcome to this episode of One
World in a New World. I'm your host, Zen Benefiel.
And as always, please do like, subscribe, share.
That's how we grow. That's how you benefit.
That's how the world benefits. Speaking of the world
benefiting, I'd like to introduce my new book.
It's called Planetary Citizens Awakening the Heart of Humanity

(00:20):
and you can get a free download of Planetary citizens.net and I
know you will absolutely love the content.
Thank you very much in advance. Now, this week's show, our guest
is Tim Schure. He is creating mesmerizing
leaders. If you can imagine that he is a
high achiever. He's Speaking of high achieving.

(00:42):
He's an author of three books, Get out of your way, How to
eliminate self sabotage and liveyour best life.
Now one belief, a way how to upgrade your unconscious mind
for prosperity and inner peace. So it kind of sounds the onion
making the unconscious conscious, right?
And losing weight without losingyour mind, the missing

(01:04):
ingredient for easier weight loss than a happy, healthy body.
So we're going to have a deep conversation here in just a
moment. You won't want to miss it.
It will be full of insight and wisdom.
I guarantee it. Don't go away, We'll be right
back. Explore the thoughtless sphere.
Embark on a life changing journey of self discovery.
Embrace harmony with self, with others, with Earth.

(01:27):
One world, in a new world. Zen Benefiel skillfully ignites
conversations, guiding guests toreveal personal journeys and
perspectives, are inspired to seek knowledge and find wisdom
in their own lives. Join this transformative journey
as we navigate the depth of human experience.

(01:50):
Tim, it's so great to have you here.
I know we've kind of been crossing paths and circuitously
having this wonderful spin and dance on LinkedIn, which is
where we met. And I would like to let's bring
that full force into this conversation and thank you for
being here. Yes, thank you, Zen.
I'm excited for our conversation.
Wonderful. You know, with your rich

(02:11):
background and the established tenure that you have in the
field, you've had to have started early with some kind of
interconnection. And, you know, as we discuss
these things on One World in a New World, we're diving into
those weird things that we don'ttalk about that happen inside.

(02:32):
And so most of us are bereft of the ability to talk about those
things for fear of being called weird or insane or crazy And,
you know, given a stiff arm. Well, we're here to change that.
And I thank you for joining us. So in that process then, when
did you first become aware that there was more to this world

(02:52):
than we can imagine, Horatio? Well, I was always fascinated by
anything that seemed out of thisworld, right?
Anything that was mysterious. I was a big fan of Bigfoot in
the Loch Ness Monster and aliensand anything that just seemed to

(03:13):
be magical and mystical. When did this start?
Were you like grade school or before?
You know what, I've tried to think about this.
When I was up to five years old,we lived in a trailer park and
it was called Camelot. And so I had this.
Idea. Growing up in Camelot, like King
Arthur and so I was always attracted to castles and stuff

(03:34):
like that. I don't know where exactly that
came from, so maybe it that was my earliest.
It's just that imprinting of being, you know, in Camelot,
right? You're, as you grew in your
awareness of what Camelot meant,that that would be a natural,
you know, extension, it would seem that's.
Right, that's right. You know, I got imprinted with
that idea of the hero archetype and thought, you know what this

(03:58):
is? This would be something that I
would want. The heroes always seem to be
brave, or, you know, if they're scared, they were full of
courage and they could rise up and win the day.
And I always had so much fear and worry and anxiety.
And so I thought that if I couldfigure out how to rise up and
win the day, that would be something pretty special.
Oh sure, absolutely. And you know, it encourages this

(04:19):
fear that said it's prayers, right?
And step into it now in, in thatthere was a it already seemed
like there was this connection to a larger mindscape that I
like to call it a thoughtmosphere where this
repository of information is. And when we were curious enough

(04:40):
to ask the questions, it seems to open doors, right?
And, and out of nowhere we get information.
Do you remember having any of that kind of experiences you in
your youth where you had this bizarre question and all of a
sudden something randomly showedup to answer it?

(05:01):
That's a great question. People ask me a lot of times why
I ended up doing what I do right, helping people, freeing
people from anxiety and trauma from their past and and my
answer was always because it wasn't altruistic.
I wasn't trying to save the world or help other people.

(05:21):
I was trying to get rid of my own anxiety.
I was trying. To you know, that's funny.
They mentioned that, that as coaches, consultants, you know,
we often do the things because we're in process of it.
We teach what we need to learn. That's right.
So there's this most typical activity that's taking place.
Yes, yes, that's right. And so because of that, you

(05:44):
know, in my childhood, I was always just trying to feel safe.
I was always trying to, to belong.
I was always chasing that approval and validation and,
and, or just wanting, you know, to have friends without being
worried that my friend one day was going to switch and treat me
like an enemy the next. And, you know, so always so much

(06:04):
conflict and uncertainty and, you know, with friends or even
in that, you know, even in my family, not my immediate family,
but we had relatives who struggle with alcoholism.
So there was always fireworks orsome crazy thing happening.
And then when I was 12, my dad worked at a steel mill and, and
got blown up in a fire in a big explosion.

(06:26):
He survived it, but he was full of scars.
And so we went through that. And and so there was always
something just kind of yanking the rug out from underneath me.
And, and so I went to church allthe time, but I didn't feel a
real connection there with God at the time.
And so I was just looking for something mystical or magical or

(06:49):
something else out there. And I wanted to end up finding
that until I was around 19. Well, you mentioned out there,
right, that that's our mistake, right?
We're always looking out there. Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah. And at 19, what did you find?
Well, I didn't know that you know, our about our inner world
yet. And when I was 18, I went to

(07:11):
school for psychology and, and Idiscovered the library and in
the library discovered this selfhelp section where we had all
these audio tapes, these books on tape and they would let you
rent them for free. And you know, because I didn't
have any money and I'm like, what?
I can just take these, he's out for a couple weeks and listen to
him, right? So I walk out with stacks of
these of these audio books and Iwould just listen to, I would go

(07:33):
for walks. I wore out this Walkman that I
had and, and I would just walk and walk for hours at a time.
And, and I would take the wisdomof these people that spent their
life wanting to help others while they help themselves and,
and ended up really, that was the door to opening the door to
personal development for me. And then the next level for me

(07:56):
happened when I was a sophomore in college.
I was in a counseling processes class and they were bringing in
guest speakers to talk about their modality.
And one of them was a hypnotist.And I didn't know anything about
it except that you know you're going to collect like a chicken
or. Now you are one.
And now I've been one for 33 years.
Yeah, so. But at the time I thought it was

(08:16):
silly and. And they asked for a volunteer
and I raised my hand because I thought I would make the class
laugh. That was my thing being the
class clown. And so so I went up there and he
said, now just listen to me and and within a few minutes you're
going to feel great. And that's exactly what
happened. Within a few minutes, I felt
this peace that I had never feltbefore.

(08:37):
It's like that not in my stomachwent away for a little while and
I'm like, what is happening? And because I did a little.
Dramatic change too, right? It did, yeah.
Yeah. And it was cool, too, because I
was aware of what was going on. I could hear my classmates
laughing, but I didn't care because I was so.
We were in a safe tone. You know, the hypnotists and

(08:58):
especially hypnotherapists, theyprovide this psychologically
safe and intellectually humble atmosphere, which is what I
tried to create with this show too, now that I'm trying to be
hypnotizing. And yet, you know, there's this
space that's created for the participant to just relax in.

(09:20):
Yeah, yeah. And that was created, and that's
what I did. I relaxed in it.
And then he told me I'd feel great for about a week.
And for about a week I felt great.
And then it wore off. And then my anxiety came back
because I was good at doing anxiety, even though I didn't
know I was doing it. I thought it was happening to
me. You brought up the just a

(09:42):
phenomenal point of order and how we take in others
projections and make them our own and leave them.
And you're unconscious, right? You he told you you'd be OK for
a week and that week is like, OK, I'm not OK anymore because I
listened, right? And I took that in.
So that's where, you know, we'vegot to be careful in the words

(10:05):
that we use, the scenarios we set up, whether we're doing
hypnotherapy or just talking to somebody, right, that we're
trying to help. You know, this notion of what we
hear and take in and make our own is really a subtle process
and and yet one that we need to be aware of.

(10:28):
So it doesn't happen first of all, right, we need to have that
freedom. How did you find the how did you
revisit that and then find freedom in that to move yourself
to this absence of anxiety state?
Well, that. Was a joke.
That was, yeah, that was a journey for that to happen.

(10:51):
To follow up on what you just said, though, a lot of you know,
it's very important the story we're telling ourselves and be
aware of the suggestions around us that are coming to us all the
time, especially now with socialmedia, with our phones and our
computers. We have messages coming at US 24
hours a day and we've got to be very aware of that.

(11:13):
But a lot of the core programming that's driving our
behavior was absorbed into us from those suggestions, from the
experiences that we've had, fromthe beliefs that our brain,
because our brains always tryingto make sense of things.
And so when we go through, when we go through a situation, we
label it as traumatic or upsetting.
But as we go through a situation, our brain is going to

(11:35):
make meaning of that. And sometimes it makes up
beliefs that are empowering and sometimes it makes up beliefs
that are sabotaging that destroyour inner peace or sense of self
worth. And and so through that journey
of learning about hypnosis and then finishing my degrees in
psychology and then learning every other tool and approach

(11:57):
that I could use cuz I was very skeptical.
So I had this prove it mentality.
You know, I just tried every technique there was and you're.
Not you're from Illinois, not Missouri.
Yeah, from Indiana, but I was. Indiana today and we're both.
That's right. That's right.
That's right. So, so, but I you're right, I
had that show me mentality and, and so I put it to the test and,

(12:21):
and then, you know, worked really hard at helping people to
end needless emotional suffering.
I ended up facilitating over 16,000 sessions over that 30
year period. And it's been uncovered a lot
about what drives us. Yeah.
And you did you with that kind of tenure that I can imagine
that the layers and the nuances and the diversity within that,

(12:46):
that was when, you know, it's like me talking to the hundreds
of people around the world, right?
It's an educational process for me and I love it, right?
And you'd said that the show me thing, the tested, right?
And we don't do that, right? We don't put our beliefs to the
test. How would we do that, right?

(13:07):
We step into them somehow and the testing is what's called
for. Otherwise, how could it be
truth? You know, our truth is our own
experience. That's really the only thing
that we have to base reality on.And yet if we don't stretch
ourselves to to test what we believe to be true, how can we

(13:29):
find that place of solace in thereality of it?
How did you manage it? Were there in addition to the
class? Were there other, you know,
Massey calls them significant emotional events?
Were there any other CS in that tenure that you had during

(13:51):
college and especially early on?Well, yeah, I mean, there's a
series of different experiences that you have and different
growth periods, right. So deciding in to leave the
hospitals and work, you know, open up my own practice and
then, OK, well, now I have thesetools and I feel like I'm pretty

(14:11):
good at it, but I don't know howto run a business.
And so then you have to learn how to run a business.
And I didn't do a very good job of that.
And then I was introduced to a coach which I didn't ever have
experience with somebody coaching or mentoring me in that
way. And so so then I had the
experience of coaching. And then through coaching, you
learn what kind of, you know, experience you're going to have.

(14:34):
And some coaches are really great and some coaches are not.
And so you go through that growth experience and then over
time you start developing other assets, you know, And so every
there, every layer, you know, isa new opportunity for growth.
And, and a big part of that growth is finding the next
belief that's in your way and upgrading it, you know?

(14:55):
And so I'm like a belief hunter and I teach.
Dissolving it right this now, doyou find that there's some
beginnings of conversations about recursive systems in
regard to this transformation ortranscendence in consciousness

(15:16):
and awareness that humanity's inprocess of now we've got all the
signs we had all the, you know, the earmarks that something huge
is going to happen, especially with COVID that that got
everybody to or gave everybody the opportunity to be
sequestered and self examined. And he did, you know, they

(15:37):
started questioning reality of how can I, how do I fit in?
And and that's changed things. And with the recursive system,
though, it's basically one that calls upon itself.
Well, so some took it that way with COVID, others it just the
loneliness and anxiety and. They fell in the same trap that
they were already in. Yeah.

(15:58):
They just dug deeper. The others though, this, you
know, you've heard the expression, the one in many,
right? And we all we have this gross
understanding of or surface level understanding oneness and
and we don't necessarily know what that looks like in a
diverse field of energies, right, especially with people.

(16:18):
And yet this recursive activity would indicate that that one
that's inside each of us is being called into the many to
perform and build something thathasn't happened yet.
Do you see that as a potential paradigm shifting kind of

(16:42):
activity because it's different than the intellectualizations,
the storytelling, the, you know,having to go through, you know,
release all the trauma and things like that.
It's like it starts fresh from the get go.
None of that's necessary. You've got it all within you
already, which is that for lack of a better divine thread that

(17:07):
we have that's connected to infinite intelligence, that's
specific to us individually. So a lamp with a light bulb has
the ability to fill a dark room with light.
The potential is already in thatlight bulb.
We just have to plug it in. And you can tell people that you
have the potential to shine and to shine brightly.

(17:30):
You just got to plug into your source.
People don't know how to plug into their source and sometimes,
a lot of times when you tell people that they already have
everything they need and they just need to plug in, it can
make them feel worse. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus that belief that you know
I'm not enough, or something's wrong with me, or you know why

(17:50):
I'm. Imposter syndrome on steroids,
right? Yeah.
So, you know, I think that there's always evidence that
some people are evolving, and then there's lots of evidence
where we're not. And we're just going through the
same endless circles. And COVID certainly was a way of
getting us to pause and stop andget off the crazy train for some

(18:13):
of us who is just going and going and never saw an end to
it. And then to be able to just stop
and breathe and relax and reassess our values, You know,
although that caused a lot of pain, there was a lot of
opportunities and blessings. I came up with the 1 belief way
idea and brand and book and everything else because I lost

(18:33):
90% of my business during the pandemic because all my speaking
engagements disappeared. And so through the pain became a
new purpose, right? So it's, it's how you approach
it. And, and I think that what's
going to change our world isn't going to be COVID.
It's going to be the AI and what's coming with that.
I think it's a agreed and I think it's going to be beyond AI

(18:56):
because it, this is an intelligence that we, it's not
in a box, it's not a cloud, it'sconnected to everything.
And just as we are, right, we haven't got that dimensional
space intelligently absorbed yet, even though quantum physics
is saying, hey, everything's energy and there's all these

(19:18):
bandwidths and there's frequencies and all these kinds
of things that, that are available in them.
And, and even the Hindus, you know, thousands of years ago
said there's something called the Sabda, the sound current,
which when at least for me, it'spresent most of the time, all
the time. Now, how I found it was in the

(19:39):
depths of the silence, right, that we seek silence and yet
there's still a sound there. And that seems to be where that
plug in occurs. And yet the, you know,
neuroscientists say we get 70,000 thoughts a day and I

(20:00):
would say 347 are self deprecating.
Well, if you can eliminate those, that's a lot of space
that you've now got that's. Right.
That's right. Now, how in this evolutionary
process that you went through and and you've seen others, what
do you feel are the key elementsthat most people are addressing

(20:26):
and how the those key elements play out in a larger picture or
individually, however that feelsappropriate to address?
Well, I think that, you know, when people are calling me up,
they're feeling stuck, they're feeling blocked.

(20:47):
They're feeling like there's this something in the way from
helping them to feel motivated or from busting a bad habit or
from sleeping better at night. There's just this fear that
something bad's going to happen and they're not going to be able
to handle it. Or if I'm working with a lot of

(21:08):
high achievers, the frustration is that I've achieved so much
and I've accomplished so much, and yet I still feel this
stress. Or I still feel like it's all
going to fall apart if I if I gowatch TVI feel guilty about it
because I should be doing more more more.
The do do do. It's a lot of do do do.
Whereas would you corroborate that it's more about the being

(21:32):
that needs to be present 1st andthen the doing takes care of
itself? For sure, but people don't know
how to do that and we don't havea culture that teaches that
really or we don't reinforces itand we have a whole bunch of
beliefs that tell us different. And do you find that the Eastern
philosophy is a little more inclined to offering that kind

(21:55):
of information and understanding?
I think the best advice you can get is from the Bible.
So that's what I believe. And I've been studying personal
development for 36 years. I've studying Eastern religions.
I've would have said that I was more Buddhist, you know, and

(22:19):
loved Stoic philosophies from Mark.
Jesus was, you know, a profound Zen master, right?
Yeah. And so, so that's what I would
have said. I would really wouldn't have
talked about the Bible or or Jesus or anything.
In fact, in my psychology training, I was specifically
taught you do not interject, youknow, your personal beliefs or

(22:40):
definitely your religious beliefs when you're helping
people. But now, you know, I'm 55 years
old, I've been studying all this, all these tools and, and
strategies and, and this ancientwisdom for a long time.
And then I'm also looking at, athow the world is now.
And I find that I was not able to find that total sense of

(23:01):
inner peace and, and feeling of ease and connectedness through
psychology and through trying tomake myself God.
And I'm just not qualified for the position but.
It's interesting you say that and, and I, I get the feeling of
non qualified, you know, stuff. And yet there's more to that

(23:22):
that in my opinion. And I had an experience in
college that led me into readingthe Vedas.
And because I was looking for something explained, I prayed to
know what truth was. I was willing to die for it if
necessary, and I had the opportunity to do so.
And 1st, when I was asked if I was willing to die for what I
believed in, my first thought was Christ consciousness.

(23:45):
For some reason it felt a littleempty and I wasn't sure why.
I just moved on. And the next thought was cosmic
consciousness. Well, that's kind of what Jesus
carried, right? And so the formless compared to
the form. And so that made sense over
time. Yeah.
However, in that process of going into the light, going
beyond it, being surrounded by Points of Light, told that those

(24:06):
are going to work with in this lifetime, what I'd be doing and
so on and so forth, that was such a bizarre experience.
You know, I came back into my body with a gulp of air and.
And understanding that we're allcosmic consciousness condensed
into form, just unaware, right. This is the same thing Jesus
taught the Vedas. Then when I read them, it was

(24:26):
the aspect of being divine threads Incarnate, connected to
source, and capable of God consciousness.
Well, that doesn't mean that you're God.
That means that you're tied intocreation at such a level that
you're aware and operational in it.

(24:47):
Yes, we were created in his image.
Correct. So in following that in which
exactly? So that's the Vedas, right?
15,000 years old, way before theBible was written.
And yet these teachings were thecore of what Jesus taught.
Yeah. Yeah.
Now he was one that embodied that and then still is

(25:09):
available. I have that in person.
I have. I don't consider myself
Christian, but I have a personalrelationship with Jesus and have
had since I was a kid. He's even appeared to me, talk
through me to a group of people.Some of them even saw him.
Now, that's an incredulous experience that, you know,
presenting that to Christians, that they're like, oh, wait a

(25:29):
minute, you know? And yet the belief that it's
possible is there, but when it shows up, it's like, oh, wait a
minute, you know, back to your testing the truth, right?
Whack away at it's my experience, not yours.
You don't have to believe me. I know it's true for me because
I experienced it. Others saw him too.
So what's up with that, right? And yet there was not this sense

(25:54):
of all powerfulness. It was helpful, it was kind, it
was loving, it was embracing, supportive, nourishing,
nurturing, all of those kinds ofthings, not standing in a
pulpit. And you know, so yeah, exactly.

(26:18):
Thank you for taking it there. But that's essentially what
happened. So now that we know this and
how, and I have a sense you do too because you you kind of
practice it in bringing that sense of safety, security,
transcendence from anxiety to your clients.
How do you, how would you see this being more fully

(26:41):
operational on a large scale? What might you see as
indications that it's happening in society or even within your
clientele? Well, that's a great question.
And I think that that it is happening because of our ability
to communicate with more people.Our language is being upgraded

(27:08):
and people are talking about ourmental health more than ever
before. And people are understanding how
our mind works. And we're getting more clarity
in, in the power of our beliefs and the power that's within us.
And, and, and so I think that that's going to continue to

(27:28):
evolve. It's interesting, I read a study
that people are going more to ChatGPT, the AI tool for therapy
than for any other use. Here's that connection.
Right, it's about all. This information it can provide,
you just have to ask the right questions and it's more than

(27:51):
willing to participate. It's even curious and it's got a
high level of emotional intelligence.
Now, that's the other thing, notjust a mental health, it's not
just about our minds, right? It's about our emotions.
And there's nothing addressing or very little addressing
emotional health. Yeah.

(28:12):
Because that's where the triggers start, and then the
mind takes over with the existing patterns and programs
and all that kind of stuff, and it just exacerbates everything.
Well, the beliefs are driving the feelings.
So, you know, it happens fast and at an unconscious level, but
our feelings are being driven bythe beliefs in the stories that
are floating there at the unconscious level.
And so when you're upgrading your mental health, you are

(28:34):
upgrading your emotional health.True.
Now, what about, so prior to allof this, there's a sensation,
right? As we know with quantum physics,
everything's vibration. So our bodies are transceivers.
We pick up on that energy in themoment and have a moment as well

(28:56):
before the processing begins. So there's a sense, there's a
registering in the field, and then based on how we have
previously extrapolated that sense into whatever belief that
we have, that's the first place that we go.

(29:18):
Is there a way to hit a pause button in between or become that
aware of what's going on within us to do so?
I mean when you ask the question, it creates the
possibility. Yeah.
And and so I'm always open to, yes, there's a possibility how

(29:40):
we do that. I'm not sure I agree that we
have our, you know, our heightened awareness and our
energy fields and our body is recognizing stimulants before
we're have any, before we have any conscious awareness.
Of But we're taught to live fromshoulders up.
We don't know, you know, the body's an instrument.
We don't know how to tune it, let alone play in concert.

(30:03):
Well said. That's exactly right.
That's exactly right. If people were more connected to
their heart and out of their head, I think they would have a
more fulfilling life. What do they say the longest
journey is 18 inches? That's right, Right.
But often the way to get to their heart is you got to go
through the head because that's what stores the beliefs.

(30:23):
And you know, because you can have a feeling emotion, and if
that feeling emotion creates a new belief, then it will last,
right? If you have a good feeling and
the beliefs don't get upgraded, then you go right back to where
you were afterwards. Sure.
Which is So what do you do with that?
Do you create a new logic train for them to to use when that

(30:47):
happens so that they can, you know, jump on the caboose and be
LED someplace that's. Actually experience a new that
leads to a new belief and then we reinforce and anchor that new
belief and feeling together. So that when there are in
situations, you know, when they experience stimulus like that
again, when they're in a similarsituation, they're responding in

(31:08):
a new way, which will influence how they're feeling as well
energetically because they don'thave to feel scared.
They could feel excited, like stage fright.
You know, I used to be horrifiedof speaking in front of a group.
Now I love it. So I have a different sense of
interesting. Change right?
Right, a whole different a wholedifferent way of showing up.
Perfect example if I may share and digress for a moment.

(31:31):
I had that experience in college.
And then following year I had some interesting challenges.
I I got beat up at a frat house,ended up in the emergency room.
My parents decided it was time for me to have a little respite
in the psych ward and trying to,you know, talk to somebody about

(31:52):
my experience to get them to give me feedback, not diagnose
me. Yes.
And in that situation, I got diagnosed and drugged as a
result. I finally told the doc what he
wanted to hear so that I could proceed, which was, I felt a
lie, and at least a partial one anyway.

(32:12):
And then when I got out I would literally shake so bad on the
inside because I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and
getting put back. That's right, but I was so
afraid that my body would tremble.
Oh yeah. And that was so embarrassing,
especially around friends. It's just like, what's going on,
man? And then it's like, you wouldn't

(32:33):
understand, right? So.
Body keeps the score. And yeah, and to take that to
the point of being able to get up in front of people and talk
to them, play music, sing, dance, do all those kinds of
things without feeling that anxiety, which I do today.
I have a lot of fun because it'slife can be fun when you're not

(32:54):
attached to all the stuff that you think people are thinking or
that you feel like you might need to be for them.
Instead of just being yourself. How do you be yourself?
How do you find, how do you engage others to to not

(33:15):
necessarily pull them out, but to open the door for them to
experience a greater part of themselves that's free of that
anxiety, that's anticipating things rather than being anxious
about them? So I'll share a story.
There's a there was a guy that came to me and he had panic

(33:40):
attacks for 30 years, 30 years panic, like major panic attacks,
like he could not function. It was really messing up his
life. He would just get this overall
overwhelming feeling that something was wrong and he was
in danger and he'd want to get out of there.
He tried all kinds of medicine and all kinds of therapy and
nothing was doing it for him. So we do a hypnosis session.

(34:02):
I only remember the first session and what happened
afterwards but he he came to me and we did this session and when
he was a kid he got his brother thought it would be funny if he
rolled him up in a carpet. So he rolled him up in a carpet
and then he heard his mom coming.
The brother heard his mom coming, so he ran out of there

(34:23):
and the kid was left in the carpet and and for like 1/2 hour
before mom finally found him. He's in there, he can't breathe,
he's screaming, he's trapped, right?
And of course you can imagine how horrible that would be,
right? And so it doesn't matter what
the experience is, you felt the same way.
You got beat up twice, right? First in the frat house and then

(34:44):
in the hospital by adults who are supposed to be taking care
of you. Of course, you know you had to
go through that to become the amazing guy that you are now.
Your level of intellect and compassion and the deep, the
deepness of your questions, right?
You have to, you have to go through traumatic experiences,
it seems to be able to come out with that kind of awareness.

(35:07):
Diamonds aren't aren't formed with feathers, no.
The experience is the teacher. Yeah, that's right.
So. Learn it without it.
Right. So this guy is, you know, has
those feelings. His fight or flight response is
amplified anytime he thinks he'sin any kind of situation where
he would feel trapped, paralyzed, you know, in danger

(35:29):
in any way. And of course, the brain starts
generalizing that. Danger to Will Robinson.
Yeah, exactly. The robot.
And so, you know, it starts generalizing where all of a
sudden you're agoraphobic, right?
You can't leave the house. Before it was just, you know, I
don't, I'm afraid of carpets, you know, or I'm, I'm afraid of
small spaces. I'm afraid of elevators.
Then I then I can't fly airplanes and then I can't get

(35:50):
in the car and I can't drive on the highway.
And then pretty soon, you know, it's I can't.
Builds and builds and builds andbuilds and builds.
So it gets reinforced, right? So we did a session.
What we did was we went back to that moment.
We freed himself from that carpet.
He threw his brother across the room.
Although we don't focus on violence, you know, we focus on

(36:10):
love and forgiveness. But he took his power back and
he had a redefining moment of even if he's in that situation,
he had the sense of peace. And so we took his power back.
We created a new experience thatcame with a new belief and a new
feeling. So he was in the same situation
with a new belief and a new feeling, and it broke the spell.
Sure. He came back the next week for

(36:32):
our session and he was in tears.So I'm like, must not have been
a good week, but it was tears ofjoy, he said.
I haven't. Gratitude.
The whole time I haven't had onepanic attack the whole time.
It's like it's completely gone. I felt a sense of freedom and a
feeling of peace. The next morning after our
session, I woke up when this heaviness had been lifted, he

(36:52):
said. I haven't felt this level of joy
and peace. He says, I can't believe it.
I don't understand how it's likethis and what's going on.
And but I'm just so thankful andand I believe that it was
because, you know, a 30 year deeply reinforced and re
ingrained habit gone broken in one session in a 30 minute

(37:12):
session because we went back to the moment, the initial
sensitizing event and we restructured it and we created a
new energetic experience. And as a result, it created a
new vibe that was so desired andwanted that it just took.
Yeah, wow, that's amazing. And congratulations.

(37:33):
And good for him too, that that's just a novel.
And we do operate habitually. We don't necessarily recognize
it. You know, sometimes, and I'm
kind of crazy in this way, I'll recognize a habit that I've just
become aware of. And as soon as I recognize it,

(37:54):
it might be a good one. I'll still change it, right?
Just because. Change a new one, a good one.
I'm something a little better, right?
What can I add on to that right value add if you will.
Yes. And what would that do for you?
Oh, it would give me a sense of accomplishment.

(38:14):
First of all, a greater level ofawareness and operational
capacity because of it, because I love to do stuff.
I, I, I love to with my being. I know myself well, have this
depth of understanding and wisdom for me, right?

(38:35):
Because I've had that those years of self examination of
especially as a coach, right? If I don't have it, how good can
I be to my clients? And your clients are also
teaching you all the time, right?
They teach me all the time. I'm always learning.
Oh yeah, because they're anotherme, right?
I'm always checking in with whatever I'm sure you do too.

(38:57):
Whenever those things, you're always checking in with yourself
because you look to self first to say, OK, where am I with this
and what can I do about it or what would I do about it?
And what might that offer my client and just the conversation
of that or, you know, inquiring them what would if you do Well,
I don't know what what if you would know?

(39:18):
What might that be? Yeah.
And they go, what? What do you mean?
Yes. Well, you have this underlying
belief that growth produces joy and that allows you, or I don't
know if allows the right word, but it gives you the incentive
to want to grow and to keep always.
Gives me permission. You can do that, yeah.

(39:38):
And permission, you know, another way of looking at it.
That's right. So a lot of people don't have
that though, as you know, you know, a lot of people associate
pain with growth. They associate pain with shining
their light. They associate pain with getting
out. Like what you said you were,
there was a time where you were afraid to share your truth
because you didn't want to get put back in that place or, or

(40:00):
someone calling you crazy again or someone trying to drug you
again or something like that. And, and, and we will all walk
around with these mental prisons.
Edgar Barnett. I have you know, I have my own
self medication. I don't need yours.
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, Edgar Barnett was a psychiatrist.
He wrote a great book called Unlock Your Mind and Be Free.

(40:21):
And he said that our beliefs arethe prison bars and in these
mental prisons that we have and we need to, we need to go have a
new trial and parole ourselves. Not in that, yeah, suspension of
beliefs, right? How do you?
Unuseful beliefs, yeah. Well, I would say if you're

(40:42):
going to suspend, you got to dissolve everything, right?
You've got to, as we know, all things came from nothing, right?
The word, right, and the sound and light that was used in order
to create the material constructs that we're aware of.
So all of these things have thisinternal connection and how, how

(41:09):
do we recognize it? How do we shift our awareness
away from any belief other than what we want to create?
Yeah. Is that possible?
Who was the sculptor that said that when he was making?

(41:34):
Was it? Yeah, I think.
It was Michael Angelo with. I took away everything that
wasn't David. Yeah.
You know, and and so a lot of times because I'm trying to
create practical metaphors that people can understand very
quickly when I'm helping them understand how their mind works.
Sure. And you know, and saucy we're

(41:55):
we're, we're simply removing theparking brake that's applied in
your brain that you don't know is there.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's not we are adding new resources.
We're also taking away things that are not useful anymore.
And sure, yeah. And.
Then, well, that happens automatically when you shift
from one thing to another. You just discarded that.

(42:18):
Now it may show up occasionally,right?
Because the the habit takes a while to lock in.
They say 21 days. We can circumvent that.
I think it and a strong willed person will do that.
They can make immediate. Once the they become aware, they
can make immediate choices and just make the shift and move on
just like your guy did. That's right.

(42:40):
In a second, in a heartbeat, yes.
Yeah, or 30 minutes, right, still a relatively short amount
of time rather than carrying that baggage with them.
You know there are there is no carry ONS on this flight.
That's great. That's a great image.
Yeah, that's right. And we're all on it together.

(43:02):
So why would we want to promote a bunch of, you know, toting
around baggage that doesn't serve anybody?
Well, we don't, but we don't know how to get rid of it.
Yeah, that's why shows like yours are so important, because
you're helping people to know how to do that.
In question, the status quo of what has been present that's

(43:23):
promoted all of this, the status.
Quo is keeping things in play. Yeah, not really designed to
give us freedom. It's designed to keep us doing
the same thing over and over again.
Just like, and of course, you know, you do the same things
over and expect different results, that that's the

(43:44):
definition of insanity accordingto Einstein.
And another one of his was, you know, you can't solve the
problems with the same thinking that created them.
That's right. So how do we advance from the
how do we expand our horizon in our capacity to perceive, first
of all, And I think that's a perspective shift because our

(44:05):
perception is controlled by our perspective.
Is there a perspective that is ubiquitous that can be tapped
into, that is an Ave. to shift or at least make aware of that
belief system constraint that's present throughout the world

(44:31):
now, right, Because we the firstthing that, and this is part of
the process of one world, the new world, one world, right?
We we are on one planet. We are basically one family,
dysfunctional as we may be, and yet we haven't recognized just
how interconnected we all. Are there are many ways of doing

(44:51):
this right? Just like there's many types of
music, even though we all have the same musical notes.
So it's just whatever flavor resonates with you.
For me personally, for me, you know, Jesus said love yourself
and love each other. And then the one belief away
method that I am using is the fastest way that I know of to

(45:12):
upgrade those beliefs so that you can love yourself more so
that you can then love others more.
And so that's, you know, upgrading, going back and
upgrading our, our core foundational beliefs about
ourselves and who we are and what we're capable of and making
ourselves feel safe and more than enough, using forgiveness
to release ourselves from guilt,shame, anger, hurt, self pity,

(45:34):
and then developing a new set ofresources so that it doesn't
matter what shows up. You're able to show up calm and
confident and resourceful. And I call it as you 2 point O,
you know, and then, then all of a sudden, it doesn't matter what
shows up. It doesn't matter what's going
to happen to you. You're focused on what you're
going to bring to the situation.I call it, you know, you're not

(45:55):
playing not to lose anymore. Now you're playing to win.
Right, right. And that's that's fit for me.
One of the things that I found as well, and you're exactly
right, that's the process that that needs to happen.
I found a really simple hack, I guess for lack of a pillar,
since we're, you know, we're talking about hacks today and

(46:17):
then life hacks and all that. I was having a moment in
college. I was in an altered state and,
and just full of anxiety. And then all of a sudden I'm
aware of my heartbeat and my fingertips.
I looked down and I had my fingertips together and as soon
as I focused on my heartbeat, the anxiety disappeared.

(46:43):
And then I started focusing on my breath and recognizing where
I could take that sensation of feeling whole, of feeling
connected, of feeling fearless in that place.
And what came along with it was an in breath and out breath of I

(47:05):
on the in breath and M on the out breath.
Now, as a teenager, I found this.
I've used it throughout my life.I've taught it to clients.
It was one of the most simple, direct methods of focusing in
the moment, letting go of all the crap, and allowing that
emergence of that next step. Because you're there to serve in

(47:27):
most cases, especially in the boardroom, right?
You're there with a mission and a vision and a purpose.
Yes, yes. If you're there on a hidden
agenda or personal agenda, then you're not really serving the
whole you know, the job's a costand everybody wins that way.
Right. So how would that in your

(47:49):
profession, I would imagine you,you run into people,
professionals that are trying tofigure that out, how to be more
present, how to be more of a servant leader.
What are the kinds of things that you're finding it is most
beneficial to that lot? Well, the same thing.
I mean, I love that. I love that hack, right?

(48:10):
You're connecting with your breath, you're feeling your
heart, you're slowing down, you're going within.
You know that old quote? When you learn to go within, you
never go without. Right.
And then stating I am kind of says it all.
It's for people to get it. If you don't get it, you're
like, what does that mean? Right.
But it's I am safe. I am enough.

(48:30):
I am loved. I am OK.
Things are going to work out forme.
Everything works out in the end.If it hasn't worked out yet, it
just means it isn't the end. That's what it means, so that in
that moment, instead of going, I'm not safe, I'm not enough, I
won't be loved, nobody will care.
You know, things are going to gohorrible, which is what most
people do in their heads. You're doing the opposite with

(48:51):
that and using your breath and connecting with yourself
kinesthetically, which is amazing.
Another little trick you can do is look up.
When you look up, you know, I found that it quiets the voice
in your head. Could you go visual instead of
auditory digital, right. So you look up and then it it
quiets the voice. And if you don't hear the voice,
you're not hearing the story or you're not asking the lousy

(49:11):
questions. And so just by looking up and
breathing through your nose specifically because breathing
through your nose will activate the relaxation response.
So if you combine that and you look up and you're feeling your
heartbeat, you know, and you're breathing and you're saying I M
right. And you combine that, it's, it's
it'll just it'll, it can eliminate it if it, if it even

(49:34):
needs to. Yeah.
So there are a lot of ways that you can shift your Physiology
and, and get around your thoughts so that you can feel
more at ease in the moment. Because sometimes if you can't
slow yourself down to do that, then you don't even have a
chance at getting a hold of yourthoughts or being introspective
because you're just too wound up.

(49:55):
So yeah, which is one of the reasons why I like the hypnosis.
Like a caffeinated octopus. That's exactly right.
And so, you know, this is a way of slowing it.
That's why I like the hypnosis, because it kind of slows you
down naturally. Yeah.
Helps you feel a little bit moreat ease when it comes to the
boardroom or when it comes to working with company leaders or
presidents. It's the same thing.

(50:16):
They're just people, right? And a lot of times their, their
story is that I don't have anybody where I can just kind of
dump my poison somewhere. I can just tell my truth or
share what I'm going through because I'm a public figure or
because you can't trust people. I've had people who, you know,
their, their voicemails were always monitored.

(50:38):
You know, they wouldn't leave voicemails just because of their
position or, you know, maybe they're a ranking in the
government, you know, things like that.
I've had clients that were high up in security that couldn't see
me anymore because they weren't allowed to work with a
hypnotist. I mean, all kinds of stuff that
happens. They think that I'm going to
steal their national security secrets or some silliness.

(50:59):
Right, put you under, give you atruth serum and.
And yeah. Which which doesn't hack their
system. Which that's that doesn't even
work so. No.
It doesn't, no, but, but anyway,So what they do need also is the
same kind of love and support because they feel like they have
a lot of responsibility to take care of their employees.
So it's not just the weight of what's going on inside of me.

(51:22):
Now I'm responsible for all these other people as well, you
know, heavy as the head that wears the crown.
And so being able to do this, I do the same thing with them as I
do with anybody else. Just a little different language
involved because you're dealing with a different topical area.
If I go in and I work with the company and I'm and I'm working

(51:44):
with a leadership team, you're right, I will adjust the
language so it fits and it's a little bit we'll talk about
instead of, you know, feeling riddled with anxiety and
depression, we might talk about feeling burnout, right and
employee turnover. So you're right, we'll adjust
the language a little bit, but ultimately the sessions are

(52:04):
really it's the same thing. Us humans, we got to upgrade our
beliefs. We got to learn how to tell
ourselves a new story that makesus feel safe and loved and more
than enough. And then we've.
Got sometimes there's no trust on this involved, right?
The the healthy trickery in, in that, for instance, you know, as
you were talking about that, I, I was thinking same kind of

(52:28):
things. Applied did partnering workshops
for building road and bridge construction for probably a
decade and a half, multi millionother projects.
I had a little different approach rather than, so there
was a mission statement, a list of goals and objectives that the
group comes up with. So rather than just list those,

(52:50):
print them out, send them in a report, I made a one sheet that
had all of it on it. So we'd do it during the
meeting, I'd print it out and then I even have everyone sign
it. So they would literally be on
the same page. And we had fun with that.
You know, I brought that up and and yet bringing them to the

(53:12):
focus of OK, now you've all committed to this job.
It's the boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Agreeing to a set of values thatwe live by gives us our moral
compass, or it gives us at leastthe blueprint that we can follow
that helps us to be on the same page, helps us to be accountable
and gives more clarity to what we're doing and why it matters.

(53:35):
And so I've used many tools likethat over the years as well.
And, and you're right, it's just, well, the.
Ambiguity is a big issue, right?The the clearer, the more
defined, more specific you can be, not only in job
responsibilities, expectations. And how you coach people to
their success, that's exactly you're exactly right.

(53:55):
And how people coach, most people, most managers give you a
goal and then six months later check in and see how you did
right. And that is managing.
That's not coaching, that's not developing people.
And and most people don't know how to really develop people.
On a servant leaders side, it's going the manager going to them
say, hey, what do you need? Is there anything I can do to

(54:15):
help? What what are you missing?
How can I, you know, offer our other support tools, all that
kind of stuff along the way to edify the the work that they're
doing? Exactly.
Yeah, there's a big gap between being a transactional versus a
transformational leader. And most people are
transactional and the best leaders are transformational

(54:36):
because they're the ones that are making the difference.
They're the ones are, you know, that you remember because of how
they made you feel appreciated and valued.
I remember I was working with a guy one time that would run
through the factory and not lookat anybody because he was so
busy trying to get his stuff done that he knew if he looked
at any make eye contact with anyof his people that have a
conversation with them. And so he wouldn't even look at

(54:58):
people. He would just run through.
And you can imagine what that did to morale.
They could care less about that guy and and you know, and he
thought he was doing the right thing for the company.
So the level of incompetency andself sabotaging beliefs is
extraordinary. And most people at the top,

(55:18):
well, yeah, most people at the top do not believe that they've
got their glass awards in their,in their countertops for their
customer service and everything.You know, consistently,
consistently people tell me how great their their culture is.
And then I go in and I start talking to people within that
culture, and they're like, Oh no, no, that's not what's
happening, right? And in fact, some of these

(55:40):
companies, I don't know how theyare making hundreds of millions
of dollars when you go in and you start talking and you see
how much dysfunction is there. The disruptor in the in the
aerospace industry in the 80s I had I was promoted into a
production control job, $7,000,000 a month, 800 part
numbers and made it to the top of the chart.

(56:03):
Of the 35 person department. I'm the youngest and several
months into it, you know, a couple supervisors show up and,
and I'm thinking, oh, I'm in trouble.
And they're like, they saw a look on my face.
They said, no, no, no. We want to know how you're doing
things because you're consistently at the top.
And I'm like, well, that's just how I treat people.

(56:23):
Yeah, yeah. That's it.
So I pushed for interpersonal skills classes and I was shunned
by everyone when I brought it upin a departmental meeting.
Right, they want your success, they just don't want to have to
deal with feelings. Eww.
Or the fact that oh, I've beatenpeople up to get what I want

(56:44):
doesn't work. Yeah, or not long term.
Right. Yeah, so because for some people
beating people up, it does work for them.
I've had guys that say I. Oh, it works.
You just take away my mojo. I'm the money guy.
This is how I make things happen.
You know, and people have have beliefs like success covers a

(57:05):
lot of sins. You know, these are all quotes
and phrases that I've heard fromleaders over the years when I
say these things. And, you know, and I'm like,
well, that may be true, but you could double what you have right
now. Yeah.
You could double it and have more meaning if you would, you
know, be more human and. And it's usually just subtle

(57:26):
changes, right? There's no huge, you know,
overarching change that needs tobe made.
It's just the fact that you're talking to people, you're being
open. You you, you appear to be
vulnerable in that way because you're now you're approachable.
Yes, yeah, yeah. People are always worried that,

(57:46):
oh, it's going to be so time consuming.
I'm like, this literally can take seconds.
Yeah. You know, I have an acronym,
Love LUV stands for Listen to Understand and Validate.
You know, you can listen to someone, understand them and
validate them in 10 seconds. Yeah.
Or or use a one minute manager technique.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah, that's a spectacular tool.Yeah, yeah.

(58:10):
And for those of you who don't know it, you, it's one minute,
you have 3 sections, it's praise, it's here's where you
can improve. And the third is how you can
improve and the support that you're given to do so.
Yes, yeah, I mean to and that third piece of it is so
essential. The first piece of it is huge

(58:32):
because a lot of people just don't even give compliments.
And a lot of what I found is that a lot of tough leaders
never got compliments, so they don't know how to give them.
Yeah, right. And or they don't think it
matters. Well, I didn't get it right so.
We live how we're taught, right?What we learn like a kids, you
know, in dysfunctional families,we repeat those patterns because
we don't know any different. So we come right back full

(58:55):
circle to how we started our conversation with a third
element in that approach, which is the how to because again, I
think that a lot of times leaders, they don't even have
the words, you know, so I'm like, well, you can connect in
this new way and they're like, well, I don't know what to say.
So I literally give them the sentence, say this, right, say
this. And and then they would say it.

(59:16):
And then it would be like, Oh, that worked.
You got any more? And so, so literally, I think
people would do more if they hadthe right tools and resources.
Most people are just missing a few tools in their toolbox.
Yeah, yeah, they they are. So Speaking of those tools and
and we're kind of coming up on time, what kind of advice would

(59:41):
be the best short term, long term in the moment kind of thing
for people who run into an anxiety filled moment for
themselves? What what are the kinds or what
might you suggest would alleviate that the?
Expeditiously, I'll put it that way.

(01:00:03):
Well. Recognizing that all techniques
are good for everybody. Right.
Well, the first thing you could do is apply what we shared
already with feeling your heartbeat or doing the power
breathing or looking up, right, and finding some way to start
breathing so that your body can slow down a little bit.
Instead of activating the fight or flight response, you want to

(01:00:23):
activate the relaxation responseas you start to calm down, which
can take 15 seconds, right? You just look up and start
breathing, and then within about15 seconds, you'll start to slow
down a little bit. Then adjust your questions,
right? The quality of your life is
being influenced by the quality of the questions that you ask
yourself all day long. And most people are saying,
what's wrong? What's going to happen to me?

(01:00:45):
What if this doesn't work out? Whose fault is this?
They're in the future making up worst case scenarios.
So if you start asking better questions, I call them power
questions. What do I want to have happen?
How do I want this to go? What resources do I have?
Who can I lean on for support? If I knew I was going to be OK,
like I knew I was going to be OK, how could how could I show
up right now? Or what's wonderful about this

(01:01:07):
situation, Seth Godin always looks at it in the opposite way.
You're going through this right now.
What's wonderful about this? And so it starts to cause your
brain to focus on a different set of data, a different set of
of possibilities, which will help you to start to focus on
feeling a little bit more at ease.
Gratitude makes a huge difference.
Another technique to do is is state whatever you're afraid of

(01:01:30):
and then add the word. But right.
This is horrible what I'm going through right now, but I'm going
to be able to get through it. But at least I can lean on this.
But I can tune into Zen's podcast.
Part of the programming or understanding I have is that
when you're saying something andyou interject, but you've just
discounted what. Cancels the first part.

(01:01:51):
That's right. So here's the perfect
application of that. That's right.
Yeah, yeah. And then when you're focusing on
possibility, use the word and you know this could happen and
this could happen as a result ofthat, right?
And now all of a sudden you're focusing on possibility.
You're using the power of your mind to prepare you instead of

(01:02:11):
scare you. Building the ladder instead of a
chute. That's right.
That's right. Yeah, Yeah.
Childhood references it. Oh, Tim, it's been a wonderful
conversation and I really appreciate the depth of your
insight, understanding it and the tenure that you've had in

(01:02:33):
doing these things cuz it shows.Thank you, I appreciate it.
Wonderful conversation. Yeah, yeah.
It's been a delight. I really love this as well.
You take it to that next deep level.
And I ask a lot of really wonderful questions that I had
to think about right and really go within which I love.
So thank you so much for for a wonderful time today.

(01:02:55):
Well. You're very welcome and Namaste
and in La Ketz, thanks for sticking with us for this
episode of One World in a New World.
I'm Zen Benefiel, your host, anddo please visit Planetary
Citizens and download your copy of Planetary Citizens Awakening
the Heart of Humanity. What we've talked about today,
today is in there in a lot of different ways.

(01:03:18):
So thanks so much and I'll see you next time.