November 4, 2025 • 17 mins
She threw the Bible; it opened itself.
“But those who hope in the Lord. . . “
Kim Lengling had no hope. Out of desperation she cried out to the God she didn’t believe existed and out of frustration threw a Bible she had never read. But at just the right moment, God intervened with a slight whisper.
Kim was retired from the military, carrying PTSD with her. She thought God had abandoned her, but now she started attending church with skepticism, but she came back time and again. Learn why one day soon thereafter, she found herself skipping for joy out of church, hand in hand with her daughter.
Kim shares the tools she now has to deal with her PTSD and anxiety, along with God’s help, how she helps others manage anxiety through her podcast Let Fear Bounce, and what she now thinks of Isaiah 40:31, the special verse God whispered to her.
Helpful Links:
Kim’s Podcast, Let Fear Bounce
Kim’s Book, Women’s Stories of Accomplishment, Encouragement, and Influence
Kim’s Book, When Grace Found Me: Real Life Stories of Women of Faith
Listing of Kim’s other books: www.kimlenglingauthor.com
One80 Episode 68: Navy Seal to God’s Warrior
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Episode Transcript
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Announcer (00:02):
Welcome to One80.
Transforming testimonies fromnext door to across the globe.
Be amazed at how God works tobring people to Himself.
Share today's One80 with afriend.
It might be the best news theyhear today.
Kim Lengling (00:17):
My tears are falling on the pages, and in
anger, I threw the Bible fromme.
It hit my floor and slid acouple feet away.
I remember just sitting theresaying, please, I what what's
happening to me?
Margaret Ereneta (00:33):
Kim Lengling was desperate.
She reached out to the God shedidn't believe existed with a
plea.
And God answered her bywhispering in her ear.
This is Margaret Ereneta.
Welcome to Kim's One80.
Kim Lengling (00:54):
Well, hello, everybody.
My name is Kim Lengling, and Iam coming to you from Northwest
Pennsylvania.
I'm going to share a little bitabout my story.
From growing up, from a youngage, and growing up in the very
small town that I grew up in,everyone went to church.
And at school, all the kidstalked about church.
They talked about communion andthey talked about all these
things I had no idea about.
(01:16):
I didn't understand what theywere talking about because I
wasn't raised in church.
I didn't go to church.
My mom felt ostracized, and soshe stopped going and stopped
taking us.
She was a divorced mom of threeand was not treated well,
unfortunately.
So she made the decision to notattend.
And so we didn't.
I didn't grow up with it.
(01:36):
I'd never read the Bible.
I had never even looked in theBible.
I didn't know any Bible verses.
And that's how it was, my wholegrowing up years, my whole
formative years.
And when I graduated highschool, I joined the military
because being from a small, tinytown, I was just ready to get
out.
And I thought I'd see the worldand, you know, do something
amazing and join something muchbigger than myself.
(01:59):
And while serving in themilitary, I experienced trauma
in the form of sexual assault bytwo individuals.
And that that changed my wholeoutlook on life at a young age.
So that that was very formativefor me in how I viewed the
world, how I viewed men.
I had zero trust in anyone oranything, and especially God.
(02:22):
I had convinced myself that hedidn't exist.
And if he did, where the hellhad he been?
And that's just about as honestas I can be on that.
And I carried that with me foralmost 15 years.
Margaret Ereneta (02:36):
Next you'll hear Kim explaining PTSD as a
swirl.
Kim Lengling (02:40):
After I got out of the military, I carried that
weight, that anger, thatbitterness, but also that
anxiety, sadness, depression,post-traumatic stress disorder,
all of these things, this swirl.
And I would go through theseswirls and not understand what
it was.
And I'm like, why am I alwaysfeeling like this?
(03:02):
Why am I always feeling so downand dark?
Why, you know, why can't I feeljoy?
And life went on.
You know, I got married, had adaughter, still carrying all
that weight with me, and stillwondering, why can't I feel
better?
Until one day I found myself onmy knees on the living room
floor, sobbing.
(03:23):
This is about 15 years after Igot out of the military.
Sobbing, those kind ofgut-wrenching sobs that just
shake your whole body.
And I remember the whole time Iwas just crying out, please,
please.
And I didn't know who I wascrying out to, and I didn't know
what I was asking please for.
I just know that I couldn'tfeel any worse.
(03:45):
I had been brought to my knees.
I couldn't stand, literally.
And in that moment, I felt awhisper.
And that's how I word it.
I felt a whisper from behind.
But those who hope in the Lord.
And I just went, whatever.
I'm losing my mind now.
(04:06):
I'm on my knees crying.
My brain is a swirl.
I'm actually losing my mindbecause now I'm hearing stuff.
And it came again.
But those who hope in the Lord.
And I actually turned to lookbehind me because I'm like,
where is that?
Where is that coming from?
And I was so distraught.
And I get a little worked upthinking about I was so
(04:26):
distraught.
And I thought, well, gosh, thatsounds Bible-ish, doesn't it?
I remember I'd never read theBible and I didn't go to church,
but I knew there was a Bible inmy house because when I got
married, someone gifted one tous.
So I became a bit franticlooking for that Bible.
And I ran through the house andI'm still sobbing, you know,
doing this, wiping my nose on myshirt sleeve.
(04:48):
I finally found the Bible and Iwent back downstairs to the
living room floor and I just satthere on the living room floor
and I opened up the book and I'mlike, there's no index in here.
How am I supposed to findanything?
I had never read the Bible.
I had no idea how to findanything.
I became very frustrated.
My tears are falling on thepages.
And in anger, I threw the Biblefrom me.
It hit my floor and slid acouple feet away.
(05:09):
I remember just sitting theresaying, Please, I what what's
happening to me?
And then for a third time, thatwhisper from behind.
But those who hope in the Lord.
Margaret Ereneta (05:26):
And he directs her right to the Bible passage
in the Bible that she opens.
So amazing.
Kim Lengling (05:34):
And I felt a very strong nudge to take a deep
breath, reach forward, slidethat Bible back towards me, and
I picked it up and looked down.
And it was this as if wordswere brighter.
"But those who hope in the Lordwill soar in wings like eagles,
they will run and not growweary, they will walk and not
(05:55):
faint".
Now, today, that's my favoriteverse, Isaiah 40, 31, but I had
never read it, had never heardit.
And that's what was there infront of me on my lap.
And it was in that moment thatsomething shifted in my heart.
I felt this kind of a whoosh, asoft, gentle whoosh of peace.
(06:18):
My sobbing settled down.
I wasn't hyperventilating.
I was able to settle a littlebit.
Now, did my life change and Ibecame this beautiful Christian?
No.
But that moment changedsomething in me.
A few weeks later, I startedattending church, taking my
young daughter with me.
And I remember sitting inchurch, because I was still
(06:40):
carrying a chip on my shoulder,I will be honest.
I remember sitting in church onSunday thinking, who is this
guy up there talking aboutJesus?
He's full of it.
And I would go in thinking thatand I would leave thinking
that.
But I kept going back.
I kept going back every Sundayuntil one day, it was actually
an Easter Sunday service in thelocal high school gym because
(07:02):
the church had burnt down.
150-year-old church had burntto the ground.
So we had Easter in the localhigh school gym and it was
packed.
And I remember the pastorpraying a prayer of salvation
and asking God to come into eachindividual's heart.
And we were each holding theperson on either side of us'
(07:23):
hand of who we were sittingbeside.
And I had my daughter's hand inone on my left, and on the
right hand side, a gentleman,and I just I don't know him.
I just remember he had whitehair and piercing blue eyes and
a big cast on his arm.
So I was holding onto his pinkyfinger.
And I remember as that prayerwas being said by the pastor, my
(07:43):
whole body broke out intogoosebumps.
I kind of started shaking alittle bit, and I had tears just
pouring.
And I saw them falling on mylap.
And I remember turning to mydaughter, and she's looking at
me and she's like, Oh, Mummy,because she was little.
Her eyes just got so big, andshe's like, Mommy.
(08:03):
And then I turned to my rightto that gentleman who I was
holding his pinky finger, and Ijust whispered, Do you feel
that?
And his smile was, I can't,it's so hard to describe.
It was like a bright, brightlight on me.
And he just said, Praise Jesus.
And when that sermon was doneand church was over, and my
(08:26):
daughter, they we did the finalsongs and singing, they were
real lively.
And I remember, and I willnever forget that day.
Margaret Ereneta (08:35):
So beautiful.
This next part is really cool.
So she goes from this day ofturmoil where she's
hyperventilating to literallyskipping out the door at church.
Kim Lengling (08:47):
I remember my daughter and I, I had her hand.
I think she's maybe five or sixyears old.
I had her hand, and we'rewalking out the high school gym
doors, and she starts skippingand humming the song that was
last sung.
And I just looked down at herand I'm like, I feel like that
too right now.
So I started skipping.
(09:08):
So my daughter and I skippedall the way to the car, humming
and singing the words that wecould remember to that song, and
just giggling and laughing.
And it was just, I hadn't feltlike that in so long.
And that was the beginning forme of continuing to go to
church.
I kept going every Sunday,started attending life group
(09:32):
classes, started attendingSunday school.
A few years into it, I wasasked to be part of the praise
and worship team.
So I sang on the praise andworship team for close to 15
years, and the church became myfamily.
And to look back now where Iwas, I realized when I was on my
(09:52):
knees on the floor that day,crying out, please, I now
realize that I was crying out toGod, to that very same God I
had told myself I didn't believein.
But how can you cry out tosomething that doesn't exist?
You know, so there must havebeen that little kernel, that
little mustard seed stuck in myheart somewhere, because it was
(10:13):
at that moment that that shifthappened.
And I'm so very thankful.
Margaret Ereneta (10:22):
Next I asked him if that weight lifted.
Sometimes it's gone.
Sometimes that weight lifts andwe're gone.
And other times it's stillthere.
It's something manageable withChrist.
And so that's what happened toher.
Kim Lengling (10:36):
The weight did lift, it's never gone completely
away, though.
And that's me.
I know that that's me.
And as humans, and I we all doit.
We will give it to God likewe're supposed to, and then we
take it back.
You know, why do we do this toourselves?
I know I've done it.
(10:56):
And I still struggle with youknow, I still live with PTSD.
And that that formed a big partof who I am now.
I know now I am much moreempathetic, I have much more
tolerance, I have much more uhpatience and much more much more
capacity to care.
And then I have found that now Italk to God regularly, every
(11:20):
day.
I have a just a normalconversation with him.
I people are like, you know,pray, pray, pray.
And I'm like, you know, I don'tknow how to pray per se, but I
do I do talk a lot to God, and Iknow that that's a prayer, and
he gets it.
You know, he gets what I'msaying, what I'm feeling before
I even say it.
But I've recognized that when Ido stumble, at least I
(11:44):
recognize, like, oh, hey, Kim,let's uh, you know, not do that
again, or not let's not thinkthat way again.
And I will ask God'sforgiveness.
Margaret Ereneta (11:54):
Next, Kim has some really helpful advice for
those who might be living withPTSD and how she manages it.
Kim Lengling (12:02):
And then that's when I also realized, oh gosh,
the demands coming perched on myshoulder again.
So that's how I look at it whenI have bad days, because I I
have days and time frames of theyear that I struggle just a bit
more with my PTSD.
And that's when I have to bevery vigilant because I'll have
nightmares and I'll haveflashbacks and things like that.
(12:22):
And but I've also in thosemoments had these amazing
experiences of a God moment thatare unexplainable.
And the way that God can remindme, or I always say he gives me
little nudges, but sometimes ifI'm sitting there judging or
something, and then all of asudden I'll feel like major
conviction, I'll be like, oh,now he's not just nudging, he's
(12:43):
hitting me with a two by four.
You know, he's like, come on,Kim, get your attention here,
stop it.
So I do the best I can, justlike we all do, just like we all
do.
And I I do daily devotions.
Um, I'm going through thePsalms now, actually.
I just started doing that a fewmonths ago, a psalm a day.
And to me, that's been veryinteresting.
(13:05):
And I I learned something newall the time.
And I don't know how it is forthe folks that are listening or
watching, but when you read aBible verse and you'll be like,
oh, that's one of my favorite.
Have you ever gone back to it orcome across it somewhere else
and read it again?
And it has a whole new meaningto you.
But yeah, it's uh it's been aninteresting, uh, interesting
(13:27):
journey, and I'm excited.
I'm excited to see where ittakes me next, you know?
Because life's life's bumpy.
It's not guaranteed that we'regonna have an easy ride.
Mine hasn't been easy.
Heck, the last two years havebeen pretty tough, but there's
always a nugget of hope to befound.
Always.
Margaret Ereneta (13:49):
Kim has another really cool thing she
does to help manage her fear andanxiety.
She actually does a podcastcalled Let Fear Bounce.
So she talks about that.
Kim Lengling (14:01):
And that started actually when the world changed
at the beginning of thepandemic.
I had lost my job along withmillions and millions of other
people, and I found myself stuckat home.
And I was talking to God,saying, All right, now what am I
gonna do?
And the word fear uh waseverywhere.
It felt like it was beingshoved at us through the media,
(14:21):
radio, everywhere.
Fear, fear, fear.
And so I thought, I gotta letthis stuff bounce.
There's just, you know, God'sgot this.
And I felt very strongly that Iwas supposed to just do it, just
start it.
And I called it Let FearBounce.
I invited a few friends on andsaid, Hey, talk about your
fears.
That was pretty much it.
(14:42):
But it's evolved over fiveyears, and I ask folks to share
you know their story, but whatfears they've faced within their
story because I want thelisteners to know they're not
alone, to know that it's okay tofeel what you're feeling, feel
it, acknowledge it, and thensweep it out the back door.
(15:03):
Don't let it settle, don't letit stay.
That's why I named my podcastLet Fear Bounce.
Margaret Ereneta (15:10):
From my last question to Kim, I said, Why do
you think the Lord picked Isaiah40:31 for you?
And what does that verse meanto you now?
So cool what she said.
Kim Lengling (15:21):
I like that question.
I think at that point in mylife, and I had just I was in
the Air Force, very patriotic,still am to this day, really
patriotic, and a very bigadvocate for veterans and those
who struggle with PTSD.
I think that it was those wordsbecause he knew that that's
what would get my attentionsoaring on wings like eagles,
(15:44):
because the eagle is the symbolof our country.
It's majestic, it's alsopowerful, and they have to be
resilient to be able to survive,you know, to just flap those
big old beautiful wings and soaracross the sky.
It's just amazing to watch one.
And I always get just filledwith awe and wonder when I see
(16:06):
one flying across the fieldwhere I live.
They must have a nest somewhere.
And I just stop and just go, soI think that he knew because
I'm so I love nature and I'malways out there.
That's where I breathe, that'swhere I pray.
And I think that he knew.
Well, of course, I don't thinkI know.
He knew exactly how to get myattention with that exact verse.
(16:29):
Because to me, saying soaringon wings like eagle, that's
bringing nature all into it.
And today it still means thesame thing to me.
Stay strong, be resolved.
That's that's such a good word.
Resolved.
Yeah, yeah.
So to me, it's still means thesame thing today.
I actually have it framed withthis beautiful picture of an
(16:51):
eagle to my left right now,hangs on my wall in my office.
So when I walk in my officedoor, that's the first thing I
see every morning.
And I read it or say it outloud, and just like, thank you,
God.
Appreciate that.
Margaret Ereneta (17:07):
I wanted to end today's show with Kim
reading Isaiah 4031 for us.
So here she is.
Kim Lengling (17:17):
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their
strength.
They will soar on wings likeeagles, they will run and not
grow weary, they will walk andnot faint.
Margaret Ereneta (17:37):
And thank you so much for listening.
Announcer (17:49):
One80 is brought to you by One Way Ministries.
Exalt Christ, advance hisgospel.
Welcome to One80.
Transforming testimonies fromnext door to across the globe.
Be amazed at how God works tobring people to Himself.
Share today's One80 with afriend.
It might be the best news theyhear today.
Kim Lengling (00:17):
My tears are falling on the pages, and in
anger, I threw the Bible fromme.
It hit my floor and slid acouple feet away.
I remember just sitting theresaying, please, I what what's
happening to me?
Margaret Ereneta (00:33):
Kim Lengling was desperate.
She reached out to the God shedidn't believe existed with a
plea.
And God answered her bywhispering in her ear.
This is Margaret Ereneta.
Welcome to Kim's One80.
Kim Lengling (00:54):
Well, hello, everybody.
My name is Kim Lengling, and Iam coming to you from Northwest
Pennsylvania.
I'm going to share a little bitabout my story.
From growing up, from a youngage, and growing up in the very
small town that I grew up in,everyone went to church.
And at school, all the kidstalked about church.
They talked about communion andthey talked about all these
things I had no idea about.
(01:16):
I didn't understand what theywere talking about because I
wasn't raised in church.
I didn't go to church.
My mom felt ostracized, and soshe stopped going and stopped
taking us.
She was a divorced mom of threeand was not treated well,
unfortunately.
So she made the decision to notattend.
And so we didn't.
I didn't grow up with it.
(01:36):
I'd never read the Bible.
I had never even looked in theBible.
I didn't know any Bible verses.
And that's how it was, my wholegrowing up years, my whole
formative years.
And when I graduated highschool, I joined the military
because being from a small, tinytown, I was just ready to get
out.
And I thought I'd see the worldand, you know, do something
amazing and join something muchbigger than myself.
(01:59):
And while serving in themilitary, I experienced trauma
in the form of sexual assault bytwo individuals.
And that that changed my wholeoutlook on life at a young age.
So that that was very formativefor me in how I viewed the
world, how I viewed men.
I had zero trust in anyone oranything, and especially God.
(02:22):
I had convinced myself that hedidn't exist.
And if he did, where the hellhad he been?
And that's just about as honestas I can be on that.
And I carried that with me foralmost 15 years.
Margaret Ereneta (02:36):
Next you'll hear Kim explaining PTSD as a
swirl.
Kim Lengling (02:40):
After I got out of the military, I carried that
weight, that anger, thatbitterness, but also that
anxiety, sadness, depression,post-traumatic stress disorder,
all of these things, this swirl.
And I would go through theseswirls and not understand what
it was.
And I'm like, why am I alwaysfeeling like this?
(03:02):
Why am I always feeling so downand dark?
Why, you know, why can't I feeljoy?
And life went on.
You know, I got married, had adaughter, still carrying all
that weight with me, and stillwondering, why can't I feel
better?
Until one day I found myself onmy knees on the living room
floor, sobbing.
(03:23):
This is about 15 years after Igot out of the military.
Sobbing, those kind ofgut-wrenching sobs that just
shake your whole body.
And I remember the whole time Iwas just crying out, please,
please.
And I didn't know who I wascrying out to, and I didn't know
what I was asking please for.
I just know that I couldn'tfeel any worse.
(03:45):
I had been brought to my knees.
I couldn't stand, literally.
And in that moment, I felt awhisper.
And that's how I word it.
I felt a whisper from behind.
But those who hope in the Lord.
And I just went, whatever.
I'm losing my mind now.
(04:06):
I'm on my knees crying.
My brain is a swirl.
I'm actually losing my mindbecause now I'm hearing stuff.
And it came again.
But those who hope in the Lord.
And I actually turned to lookbehind me because I'm like,
where is that?
Where is that coming from?
And I was so distraught.
And I get a little worked upthinking about I was so
(04:26):
distraught.
And I thought, well, gosh, thatsounds Bible-ish, doesn't it?
I remember I'd never read theBible and I didn't go to church,
but I knew there was a Bible inmy house because when I got
married, someone gifted one tous.
So I became a bit franticlooking for that Bible.
And I ran through the house andI'm still sobbing, you know,
doing this, wiping my nose on myshirt sleeve.
(04:48):
I finally found the Bible and Iwent back downstairs to the
living room floor and I just satthere on the living room floor
and I opened up the book and I'mlike, there's no index in here.
How am I supposed to findanything?
I had never read the Bible.
I had no idea how to findanything.
I became very frustrated.
My tears are falling on thepages.
And in anger, I threw the Biblefrom me.
It hit my floor and slid acouple feet away.
(05:09):
I remember just sitting theresaying, Please, I what what's
happening to me?
And then for a third time, thatwhisper from behind.
But those who hope in the Lord.
Margaret Ereneta (05:26):
And he directs her right to the Bible passage
in the Bible that she opens.
So amazing.
Kim Lengling (05:34):
And I felt a very strong nudge to take a deep
breath, reach forward, slidethat Bible back towards me, and
I picked it up and looked down.
And it was this as if wordswere brighter.
"But those who hope in the Lordwill soar in wings like eagles,
they will run and not growweary, they will walk and not
(05:55):
faint".
Now, today, that's my favoriteverse, Isaiah 40, 31, but I had
never read it, had never heardit.
And that's what was there infront of me on my lap.
And it was in that moment thatsomething shifted in my heart.
I felt this kind of a whoosh, asoft, gentle whoosh of peace.
(06:18):
My sobbing settled down.
I wasn't hyperventilating.
I was able to settle a littlebit.
Now, did my life change and Ibecame this beautiful Christian?
No.
But that moment changedsomething in me.
A few weeks later, I startedattending church, taking my
young daughter with me.
And I remember sitting inchurch, because I was still
(06:40):
carrying a chip on my shoulder,I will be honest.
I remember sitting in church onSunday thinking, who is this
guy up there talking aboutJesus?
He's full of it.
And I would go in thinking thatand I would leave thinking
that.
But I kept going back.
I kept going back every Sundayuntil one day, it was actually
an Easter Sunday service in thelocal high school gym because
(07:02):
the church had burnt down.
150-year-old church had burntto the ground.
So we had Easter in the localhigh school gym and it was
packed.
And I remember the pastorpraying a prayer of salvation
and asking God to come into eachindividual's heart.
And we were each holding theperson on either side of us'
(07:23):
hand of who we were sittingbeside.
And I had my daughter's hand inone on my left, and on the
right hand side, a gentleman,and I just I don't know him.
I just remember he had whitehair and piercing blue eyes and
a big cast on his arm.
So I was holding onto his pinkyfinger.
And I remember as that prayerwas being said by the pastor, my
(07:43):
whole body broke out intogoosebumps.
I kind of started shaking alittle bit, and I had tears just
pouring.
And I saw them falling on mylap.
And I remember turning to mydaughter, and she's looking at
me and she's like, Oh, Mummy,because she was little.
Her eyes just got so big, andshe's like, Mommy.
(08:03):
And then I turned to my rightto that gentleman who I was
holding his pinky finger, and Ijust whispered, Do you feel
that?
And his smile was, I can't,it's so hard to describe.
It was like a bright, brightlight on me.
And he just said, Praise Jesus.
And when that sermon was doneand church was over, and my
(08:26):
daughter, they we did the finalsongs and singing, they were
real lively.
And I remember, and I willnever forget that day.
Margaret Ereneta (08:35):
So beautiful.
This next part is really cool.
So she goes from this day ofturmoil where she's
hyperventilating to literallyskipping out the door at church.
Kim Lengling (08:47):
I remember my daughter and I, I had her hand.
I think she's maybe five or sixyears old.
I had her hand, and we'rewalking out the high school gym
doors, and she starts skippingand humming the song that was
last sung.
And I just looked down at herand I'm like, I feel like that
too right now.
So I started skipping.
(09:08):
So my daughter and I skippedall the way to the car, humming
and singing the words that wecould remember to that song, and
just giggling and laughing.
And it was just, I hadn't feltlike that in so long.
And that was the beginning forme of continuing to go to
church.
I kept going every Sunday,started attending life group
(09:32):
classes, started attendingSunday school.
A few years into it, I wasasked to be part of the praise
and worship team.
So I sang on the praise andworship team for close to 15
years, and the church became myfamily.
And to look back now where Iwas, I realized when I was on my
(09:52):
knees on the floor that day,crying out, please, I now
realize that I was crying out toGod, to that very same God I
had told myself I didn't believein.
But how can you cry out tosomething that doesn't exist?
You know, so there must havebeen that little kernel, that
little mustard seed stuck in myheart somewhere, because it was
(10:13):
at that moment that that shifthappened.
And I'm so very thankful.
Margaret Ereneta (10:22):
Next I asked him if that weight lifted.
Sometimes it's gone.
Sometimes that weight lifts andwe're gone.
And other times it's stillthere.
It's something manageable withChrist.
And so that's what happened toher.
Kim Lengling (10:36):
The weight did lift, it's never gone completely
away, though.
And that's me.
I know that that's me.
And as humans, and I we all doit.
We will give it to God likewe're supposed to, and then we
take it back.
You know, why do we do this toourselves?
I know I've done it.
(10:56):
And I still struggle with youknow, I still live with PTSD.
And that that formed a big partof who I am now.
I know now I am much moreempathetic, I have much more
tolerance, I have much more uhpatience and much more much more
capacity to care.
And then I have found that now Italk to God regularly, every
(11:20):
day.
I have a just a normalconversation with him.
I people are like, you know,pray, pray, pray.
And I'm like, you know, I don'tknow how to pray per se, but I
do I do talk a lot to God, and Iknow that that's a prayer, and
he gets it.
You know, he gets what I'msaying, what I'm feeling before
I even say it.
But I've recognized that when Ido stumble, at least I
(11:44):
recognize, like, oh, hey, Kim,let's uh, you know, not do that
again, or not let's not thinkthat way again.
And I will ask God'sforgiveness.
Margaret Ereneta (11:54):
Next, Kim has some really helpful advice for
those who might be living withPTSD and how she manages it.
Kim Lengling (12:02):
And then that's when I also realized, oh gosh,
the demands coming perched on myshoulder again.
So that's how I look at it whenI have bad days, because I I
have days and time frames of theyear that I struggle just a bit
more with my PTSD.
And that's when I have to bevery vigilant because I'll have
nightmares and I'll haveflashbacks and things like that.
(12:22):
And but I've also in thosemoments had these amazing
experiences of a God moment thatare unexplainable.
And the way that God can remindme, or I always say he gives me
little nudges, but sometimes ifI'm sitting there judging or
something, and then all of asudden I'll feel like major
conviction, I'll be like, oh,now he's not just nudging, he's
(12:43):
hitting me with a two by four.
You know, he's like, come on,Kim, get your attention here,
stop it.
So I do the best I can, justlike we all do, just like we all
do.
And I I do daily devotions.
Um, I'm going through thePsalms now, actually.
I just started doing that a fewmonths ago, a psalm a day.
And to me, that's been veryinteresting.
(13:05):
And I I learned something newall the time.
And I don't know how it is forthe folks that are listening or
watching, but when you read aBible verse and you'll be like,
oh, that's one of my favorite.
Have you ever gone back to it orcome across it somewhere else
and read it again?
And it has a whole new meaningto you.
But yeah, it's uh it's been aninteresting, uh, interesting
(13:27):
journey, and I'm excited.
I'm excited to see where ittakes me next, you know?
Because life's life's bumpy.
It's not guaranteed that we'regonna have an easy ride.
Mine hasn't been easy.
Heck, the last two years havebeen pretty tough, but there's
always a nugget of hope to befound.
Always.
Margaret Ereneta (13:49):
Kim has another really cool thing she
does to help manage her fear andanxiety.
She actually does a podcastcalled Let Fear Bounce.
So she talks about that.
Kim Lengling (14:01):
And that started actually when the world changed
at the beginning of thepandemic.
I had lost my job along withmillions and millions of other
people, and I found myself stuckat home.
And I was talking to God,saying, All right, now what am I
gonna do?
And the word fear uh waseverywhere.
It felt like it was beingshoved at us through the media,
(14:21):
radio, everywhere.
Fear, fear, fear.
And so I thought, I gotta letthis stuff bounce.
There's just, you know, God'sgot this.
And I felt very strongly that Iwas supposed to just do it, just
start it.
And I called it Let FearBounce.
I invited a few friends on andsaid, Hey, talk about your
fears.
That was pretty much it.
(14:42):
But it's evolved over fiveyears, and I ask folks to share
you know their story, but whatfears they've faced within their
story because I want thelisteners to know they're not
alone, to know that it's okay tofeel what you're feeling, feel
it, acknowledge it, and thensweep it out the back door.
(15:03):
Don't let it settle, don't letit stay.
That's why I named my podcastLet Fear Bounce.
Margaret Ereneta (15:10):
From my last question to Kim, I said, Why do
you think the Lord picked Isaiah40:31 for you?
And what does that verse meanto you now?
So cool what she said.
Kim Lengling (15:21):
I like that question.
I think at that point in mylife, and I had just I was in
the Air Force, very patriotic,still am to this day, really
patriotic, and a very bigadvocate for veterans and those
who struggle with PTSD.
I think that it was those wordsbecause he knew that that's
what would get my attentionsoaring on wings like eagles,
(15:44):
because the eagle is the symbolof our country.
It's majestic, it's alsopowerful, and they have to be
resilient to be able to survive,you know, to just flap those
big old beautiful wings and soaracross the sky.
It's just amazing to watch one.
And I always get just filledwith awe and wonder when I see
(16:06):
one flying across the fieldwhere I live.
They must have a nest somewhere.
And I just stop and just go, soI think that he knew because
I'm so I love nature and I'malways out there.
That's where I breathe, that'swhere I pray.
And I think that he knew.
Well, of course, I don't thinkI know.
He knew exactly how to get myattention with that exact verse.
(16:29):
Because to me, saying soaringon wings like eagle, that's
bringing nature all into it.
And today it still means thesame thing to me.
Stay strong, be resolved.
That's that's such a good word.
Resolved.
Yeah, yeah.
So to me, it's still means thesame thing today.
I actually have it framed withthis beautiful picture of an
(16:51):
eagle to my left right now,hangs on my wall in my office.
So when I walk in my officedoor, that's the first thing I
see every morning.
And I read it or say it outloud, and just like, thank you,
God.
Appreciate that.
Margaret Ereneta (17:07):
I wanted to end today's show with Kim
reading Isaiah 4031 for us.
So here she is.
Kim Lengling (17:17):
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their
strength.
They will soar on wings likeeagles, they will run and not
grow weary, they will walk andnot faint.
Margaret Ereneta (17:37):
And thank you so much for listening.
Announcer (17:49):
One80 is brought to you by One Way Ministries.
Exalt Christ, advance hisgospel.
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