August 19, 2025 • 21 mins
Timothy was a lazy, phony Christian, cheating husband, absent father and porn addict. Timothy said yes to Jesus at a young age but walked away from a faith with shallow roots. He searched for meaning in life everywhere but God. He self-medicated and covered up who he really was, until he realized he couldn’t stop his fake life on his own.
“ I know this is wrong. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be hurting myself, hurting my wife, hurting my family, but I couldn't overcome it because of that sin that lived within me. It took repenting and laying those burdens down at the foot of Jesus at the cross.”
God would take him through change with Timothy kicking and screaming all the way. He now uses his own experience to lead other men overcome their addictions, save their marriages, and become better, stronger, Godly men.
Helpful Links:
Timothy’s Book, Men of Grit: Into the Wilderness
Timothy’s Book, Living Porn Free
Effects of Porn, Understanding Porn from the Gideon Force
Help for Men Trapped in Porn Addiction
Focus on the Family sexual brokenness resources
XXXChurch, helps you overcome porn
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:02):
Welcome to One80, transforming testimonies from
next door to across the globe.
Be amazed at how God works tobring people to Himself.
Share today's One80 with afriend.
It might be the best news theyhear today.
Timothy Reigle (00:16):
I was always convicted of my sin, right?
I always knew it was wrong, butI didn't change right?
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
changing.
It's I'm sure you know a One80,right?
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
it's changing right, it's a I'msure you know a 180, right?
Margaret Ereneta (00:35):
Timothy Reigle grew up in the church as a
pastor's kid.
Even after saying yes to Jesus,he became enslaved to the sin
of porn addiction.
Hear how he broke free and whatadvice he has for others
trapped in porn today on One80.
Timothy Reigle (00:56):
I grew up in a small town called Dixon,
Illinois, about an hour west ofChicago, Tiny little farm town,
Grew up on a family farm.
My dad was a pastor of a churchand so I grew up as one of
those PK kids.
You kind of got to worry abouta little bit.
But I grew up in a happy,healthy, loving Christian home
and I have wonderful parents andI still have a great
(01:18):
relationship with my parents andI grew up in the church and
went to Christian school and allthose sort of things and didn't
have any really major issues.
But the one thing that wedidn't really talk a whole lot
about was sex and specificallyporn.
You know, it was back in thekind of the purity culture era
of the late 90s, early 2000s,you know, and you know the big
(01:42):
three were, you know, don'tdrink, don't smoke and don't
have sex, Right.
Well, when you get a little bitof a rebellious you know
teenage hormonal boy, what doyou think?
The three things you want to domost are right, and so those
sorts of things were neverreally discussed.
And so I discovered porn at ayoung age I was probably 13 or
so and to me it was like, well,I always thought this was this
(02:07):
evil, horrible thing.
It's like this is actually.
This is great, you know.
It was exciting, it wasthrilling for me and I was kind
of hooked instantly to that andso it became my go-to.
It became not just a habit, itbecame an addiction.
And as I got older and wasdealing things through my
teenage years, it continued toescalate and continued to get
worse and it became how I dealtwith everything.
(02:28):
How I dealt with emotions, howI dealt with fears, how I dealt
with insecurities Just goingthrough normal things as a
teenage boy, right, High schoolgirlfriends, breakups, you know
things like that.
Everything.
I was happy, I ran to porn.
I was sad.
I ran to porn.
I was angry, I ran to porn.
It just became how I learned todeal with everything, because I
never really learned to dealwith those things in a healthy
(02:50):
way.
It didn't get dealt with and itcontinued to escalate.
So as I got a little bit olderinto my later teen years, it
escalated in both frequency aswell as in the type of things I
was looking at.
It got much more hardcore stuffyou know got into you know
webcams, and more extreme thingslike that as I got older.
(03:12):
Then I, like I said, I'm alittle bit of a rebellious
pastor's kid, so I ended upplaying in a lot of punk rock,
metal bands, things like that,lived kind of the sex, drugs and
rock and roll lifestyle for afew years.
You know where porn andsexuality is just par for the
course.
Right, it's part of theexperience, it's part of the
community.
And so I went really deep intothat and it just continued to
(03:34):
get worse as I got older and gotinto my late teens and early
20s.
I got married relatively young.
I was 21 when I got married andkind of naively thought that
that would solve all my problems.
Right, Okay, well, I'm marriednow starting a family.
You know these aren't going tobe issues anymore.
And the opposite happened.
It got worse because it wasn'ta sexual issue.
(03:59):
Right, it was how I learned tocope with everything, how I
learned to deal with everything.
It was my escape.
Learned to cope with everything, how I learned to deal with
everything.
It was my escape.
And when you get married youstart having families.
I needed that escape morebecause there was more stress,
there was more pressures on meand so I kept going to it more
and it got worse and itcontinued to escalate to the
point where my addiction wasn'tjust porn and masturbation and
online things.
(04:19):
It went into talking to peopleonline, eventually meeting up
with people from online, and Ihad, you know, multiple affairs
and hookups and all kinds ofkind of extreme type of things
that happened and that continuedoff and on for the first 10 or
so years of my marriage.
(04:39):
And I did all of the rightthings right.
I got caught several times andI kind of talked my way out of
it, lied my way out of it.
You know, things got better fora little bit, but that always
go back to it.
And I did all the things you'resupposed to do.
I went to counseling, I talkedto my pastor, I did all the
Bible studies, I read all thebooks, I went to retreat
(05:00):
weekends.
You know, I did all thesethings that you're supposed to
do and they would help for awhile, but I'd always end up
going back to it.
I could never fully defeat thisand at one point my wife and I
separated for almost a year.
At this point we had moved toPennsylvania, where I live now,
and she had actually gone backto stay with her family in
(05:21):
Illinois for almost a year.
But, praise the Lord, we wereable to get back together after
that, and so it just continuedto spiral out of control over
all these years and it neverreally got better.
It would get okay for a while,then I'd go back to it.
Then okay for a while, then I'dgo back to it, and it was just
this vicious cycle for years,for years.
(05:42):
You talk about what my life waslike growing up and how faith
played in my life.
There was never really a timethat I didn't.
I always knew this was wrong.
I always knew it was sinful.
There was never a period whereI tried to justify it.
Really, I may have played somemental gymnastics with myself,
but I always knew it was wrong.
I was always convicted of it.
I wanted to do the right thing.
(06:03):
I just I couldn't.
I didn't know how you know, andI didn't have the tools and the
things to deal with it in ahealthy way to really help me
get through it.
So I would have consideredmyself a Christian all through
this time and I was going tochurch all through this time and
I'd never denied my faith oranything like that.
I certainly wasn't living itright.
I wasn't repentant of my action, but I never, I always was
(06:26):
convicted of the sin that it was.
You mentioned the rock bottom.
I don't know if I ever totallyhit a true rock bottom.
I mean that's kind of hard todefine.
My wife and I were actuallyable to get back together and
work through those things, butkind of the turning point for me
, which kind of call my rockbottom, was the last time I got
caught, which was almost sevenyears ago now.
Was I got caught?
(06:49):
Not by my wife?
But I got caught by my two bestfriends at the time and they
had been guys that had been withme through it all.
They were my accountabilitypartners.
They were aware of my struggles.
They helped me and encouragedme and prayed with me.
We were very close.
Our families would go onvacation together and all these
sort of things, and so when theyfound out it kind of blew
everything up, kind of exposedme, and those two friends kind
(07:12):
of completely abandoned me, likewalked away from me.
They're like Tim, you've liedto us just as much as you've
lied to everybody else.
We're done and for whateverreason, God used that to finally
get through to me.
Reason, God used that tofinally get through to me, which
, in hindsight, looking at itnow, it breaks my heart that it
(07:35):
wasn't all the pain I'd causedmy wife and the damage I'd done
to my marriage and to my family,to my kids, For whatever reason
, that didn't wake me up.
But losing these two buddiesthat I go out for a beer with
and hang out and watch afootball game with, and whatever
, Losing those friendships waswhat woke me up to this, and I
don't know why, but that waswhat God used to speak to me,
for whatever reason.
(07:55):
And so after that I did get realhelp and the most important
thing that I had is I had arelationship with a pastor,
friend of mine, who really camein and mentored me and he called
me out on my sin, rightfully so, called me to repentance, but
he did so with love.
You know he didn't just comeand, you know, beat me over the
head with the Bible and tell mewhat, how much of a filthy
(08:17):
pervert I was and all thosethings he said.
What you're doing is wrong andyou need to repent, you need to
stop.
He didn't sugarcoat it orjustify it or excuse anything.
He said you're not too broken,Tim, God loves you, God forgives
you and we're going to walkthrough this together and I'm
going to get you through this.
And that's what really made thedifference for me.
(08:37):
And he helped me to understandthat it wasn't like I had this
uncontrollable sexual appetite,that I was just just had no
self-control or no discipline oranything like that.
He helped me understand thatwhat I was dealing with was an
emotional issue, not necessarilya sexual issue, and so I was
using porn to escape, to cope.
There was things that hadhappened in my life that I was
(09:02):
using porn to run away from runaway from those pains, those
fears, those insecurities, and Iwas using it to try to fill a
void in my life.
I was using it to try to fill aGod-sized hole in my life,
really.
And he helped me to understandthat and that's what really made
the difference.
It wasn't just trying harder orhaving the right habits or the
(09:22):
right routines or even justpraying harder.
That was certainly a huge partof it was praying really hard.
But I had to understand andheal this wound.
And that's something that I sayall the time now is that porn
addiction isn't something youquit, it's something you heal,
it's a heart issue, right, it'snot a sexual issue.
It's not a discipline or awillpower issue All those things
are involved with it but at itscore it's a heart issue, and
(09:43):
that's what made the differencefor me.
Intro (09:46):
Hey, thanks for listening to 180.
Make sure to share today's 180with your people.
It may be the best news thatthey hear today.
Now back to the show.
Timothy Reigle (10:02):
So, since then I've been able to be free from
this.
Praise the Lord, and my wifeand I actually renewed our
wedding vows on our 10thanniversary.
We're coming up on 17 yearshere this year.
But we renewed our wedding vows, healed and restored our
marriage, and our marriage isbetter than it ever was now.
So I've healed the relationshipwith my kids, the damage that's
done there, and turned my lifearound, repented to the Lord,
received His forgiveness and nowlive my life according to His
(10:23):
word.
And so that's the journey thatI've been on, and now I live my
life according to his word.
And so that's the journey thatI've been on, and I've been
blessed since then, not only tohave fixed this in my own life,
but to help others through it.
You know, I kind of thought,once I got through this, I'd
quit watching porn, I'd quitbeing unfaithful to my wife, I'd
healed my marriage, I'drepented, you know, I made
myself right with the Lord,fixed all those relationships
(10:45):
and I was kind of like, okay,that's great, that's a new
chapter in my life, Turn thepage, move on.
Don't need to broadcast this tothe world.
What all my dirty secrets werein my sinful life.
Well, God had some other plans,as he often does right and so
he kept bringing upopportunities for me to share my
(11:06):
story, like I'm doing with younow, and to tell other people
about it and how he saved me andhow he forgave me and how he
helped me find freedom.
And I was able to mentor someyoung guys at my church and help
them.
I was able to start.
I started my blog and startedwriting and being active on
social media and kind of sharingmy story.
And it was kind of like, everytime I opened that door, like a
little bit, God kicked it wideopen.
(11:29):
So he's like no, I want you toshare your story and I truly
believe now that he brought methrough everything that he did
for that purpose.
You know and he's now laid thatmission on my heart that you
know I brought you through thedarkness turn around, reach out
your hand and help other peopleout of that same darkness.
And so now for the last fiveplus years, I've been coaching
(11:59):
other men, helping them toovercome porn addicts and sexual
through that written a coupleof books been able to help other
men become the godly strong menthat they need to be and live
more for the Lord and be stronghusbands, leaders, fathers in
our churches and our communitiesand live life according to his
word.
So that's kind of what Godbrought me through, what God
(12:19):
brought me from and where he'sbrought me to now, and it's been
one heck of a journey, broughtme through what God brought me
from and where he's brought meto now and it's been one heck of
a journey.
Margaret Ereneta (12:26):
If you've listened to One80, you know that
many testimonies have an extrastep.
We call a reckoning, so someoneaccepts Christ, but then they
may fall away from the faith andcome back through repentance.
With Timothy's story you'llhear his coming to Jesus part
and his later repentance, andit's really helpful.
You'll hear his coming to Jesuspart and his later repentance
and it's really helpful how heconnects the two for us.
Timothy Reigle (12:51):
Yeah, I mean, I grew up in the church and I was,
I mean, almost literally in thechurch.
I lived next door, I was apastor's kid, right, and so I
came to faith at a young age andI made a profession of faith I
believe I was 13, was baptized,but I didn't.
I had to believe then and Ibelieve that God saved me and
called me and I responded tothat at that time.
But I didn't fully live it outuntil all these years later when
(13:14):
I had this reckoning and to me,like I said, that moment was
when those two friendsconfronted me.
So, yes, I had to go throughthat process of repentance, of
not just saying you know, Ibelieve this, but living how I
believe this.
I think, all the times you know, where the Gospel of John talks
, Jesus uses the word belief youknow if you believe and all
those type of things.
(13:35):
And the actual word that thatmeans isn't just.
It isn't just believe, it'salso believe and take action.
Right, it's believe.
And there's a response to that.
It's not just understanding aconcept that Jesus died for our
sins and rose again, it'sresponding to that as well.
And so I had all those years inbetween where I kind of
believed that.
(13:55):
But yet it took me a while torespond to that and you know,
there was a lot of hurt and painand things in between.
But, like I said, I believe Godbrought me through that for a
purpose and so when I had thatmoment with those, two friends
were losing me.
That was kind of the turningpoint.
And then when I started workingwith this mentor, this pastor,
friend of mine, who reallycalled me to repentance, I was
always convicted of my sin.
(14:16):
Right, I always knew it waswrong, but I didn't change.
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
it's changing.
You know a 180, right.
And that takes the work ofourselves, it takes the work of
the Lord too.
And I use to mention thescripture passages a lot where
the Apostle Paul talks in Romans7, where he says and I'm
(14:36):
paraphrasing here roughly but hesays I know what the right
thing to do is, but I don't doit.
I don't want to do this wrongthing, the sinful thing, but I
still do it right?
And that's what it felt like forme, where I know this is wrong,
I don't want to do this, Idon't want to be hurting myself,
hurting my wife, hurting myfamily.
But I couldn't overcome itbecause of that sin that lived
within me.
(14:56):
And it took repenting andlaying those burdens down at the
foot of Jesus at the cross totruly do that.
And once I surrendered thisburden, surrendered this pain,
surrendered all these thingsthat were keeping me ensnared in
this addiction for so long,once I surrendered those to
Christ, that's when I found thathealing, that's when I found
that repentance and that's whenI was able to turn my life
around, was when I surrenderedthose things and gave my life to
(15:19):
Him and stopped trying to holdon to this thing and whatever
that was.
But there was something withinmyself that I just couldn't give
up, that I couldn't fullysurrender to Christ and that I
wanted to hold on to and it'slike no, I need this.
There's maybe a safety in thator there was a, like I said,
kind of a coping type of thingin that, but there was something
in that that I couldn't fullysurrender to him.
(15:42):
And so that process ofdeliverance, if you will, was
when I was finally able to dothe work with the Lord, to lay
down those burdens, lay down mycross and follow him, as the
gospels say right, and so that'swhat made the difference and
what was the turnaround in mylife was that moment when I
(16:03):
stopped just believing andstarted believing and responding
to the gospel.
Margaret Ereneta (16:10):
We ended by asking Timothy what advice he
would give to men who might bestruggling with the same
addiction that he was.
Timothy Reigle (16:19):
My main message to people is I normally have two
things that I say.
Well, three things.
We'll leave it at three things.
First is you're not alone.
You're not alone.
You're not the only onestruggling with this.
Unfortunately, there's millionsof people struggling with this
and you're not too broken,you're not too far gone, you're
not unforgivable.
(16:39):
Second is to don't lose hope.
Right, Christ loves you, Christforgives you, He wants you to
repent and find healing and liverighteously.
You're not so far that He'sgoing to turn his back on you.
He never has and he never willand never leave you and forsake
you.
So there is always hope.
You may feel like you'recompletely trapped and like
(17:01):
you'll never get out of this.
I get it.
I was there for a long time.
I thought, oh, this is just mysentence, this is my penance,
it's my whatever and I'm nevergoing to get out of this.
But I did, and that's howpowerful God's grace and
forgiveness and his strength is.
The third thing is to find help.
You can't do this alone.
(17:22):
I tried to do this alone for 15years and it got me nothing but
heartache and pain, and I knowso many other men.
Yeah, there's a lot of shameattached to it.
There's a lot of guilt, there'sa lot of embarrassment with it,
right, and so it's somethingthey just think that they can
just try harder, just pullyourself up by the bootstraps
(17:42):
and just walk away from it.
Well, it's not, like you know,just breaking a bad habit, like
biting your fingernails orsomething.
It's deeper than that and youneed help to get through that.
It's not something that you canjust do alone.
You need discipline andwillpower.
But you need more than that.
You need somebody who can guideyou, who can mentor you and
help you through that.
So in a lot of ways, thetraditional methods that I went
through weren't helpful to that.
(18:03):
I think that there's an issuethat the church doesn't talk
about nearly enough.
It's getting better out ofnecessity, just because so many
men are struggling with thisthese days, and especially young
men or young teens and evenpreteens are struggling with
this, and so some churches arebeing forced to deal with it out
of necessity.
But it was a taboo subject forso many years.
Like I said in my childhood, itwas the purity culture thing
(18:26):
and you just didn't talk aboutit.
It was just don't do it, that'sa sin.
Well, we never understood whydon't we do this?
What are the consequences ofsin?
And so that caused a lot ofrebellion in my life and I'm
sure it did in a lot of otherpeople's lives.
You, you know it's notsomething that you, like I said,
can just try harder or justpray harder.
It requires those things, butyou need to really understand
what the root causes are, and soyou know, a lot of churches
(18:50):
aren't equipped to deal withthat.
What I ran into was this shamething and it was just a you're
this filthy, perverted sinnerand to get out type of thing
right, and we should be callingout sin in our brothers and
sisters where we see it rightand there's biblical ways of
doing that, and I'm not sayingwe don't do that, but we also
need to show them love.
You know it's sin.
(19:11):
We overcome sin throughrepentance and through love and
helping people through thosethings.
You know we've all sinned andfallen short of the glory of God
.
Right, certain sins have worseconsequences than other sins on
earth, but all sins fall shortof God's perfect standard, and
so one sin isn't necessarilyworse than the other, but we
have to help our brothers andsisters through those things and
(19:34):
do that with conviction, as weshould, but also do that with
love and grace and to help themthrough that.
You know, all the times I wastold that I was just this filthy
pervert and I have to stop.
I needed to hear that because Ineeded to know that it was
wrong, but also that didn'treally help me, and so I want to
give people the tools and theproper help and guidance and
(19:54):
instruction and mentorship andencouragement.
You know, sometimes we needthat kick in the face, right.
We need to get slapped aroundand say, hey, you know, wake up.
Sometimes you just need a hugtoo and say you know what?
I love you, god loves you andwe're going to get through this
together.
And so that's what I encouragepeople to do, what I encourage
the churches to do, and anybodywho's struggling with this,
(20:14):
anybody who knows someone that'sstruggling with this.
You know we don't make excusesfor this.
This is sinful behavior,destructive behavior.
I'm I don't want to say lucky,because it wasn't luck, it was
God's plan.
But most marriages and familiesdon't survive.
What mine did right, and Ibelieve mine did because God had
a purpose for me and God has apurpose for every person
(20:35):
listening to this podcast.
So don't give up, keep fighting, find help, find love, find
encouragement, find people whowill help you through this and
help direct you biblically onthe path to righteousness and
living out God's will.
Margaret Ereneta (20:57):
Thanks for listening to today's One80.
I hope that you can share itwith the people that you know,
and if any of you need help withthis problem, check out our
show notes.
There's so many ways to gethelp in there One80 is brought
(21:18):
to you by One Way.
Intro (21:19):
Ministries Exalt Christ, advance His Gospel.
Welcome to One80, transforming testimonies from
next door to across the globe.
Be amazed at how God works tobring people to Himself.
Share today's One80 with afriend.
It might be the best news theyhear today.
Timothy Reigle (00:16):
I was always convicted of my sin, right?
I always knew it was wrong, butI didn't change right?
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
changing.
It's I'm sure you know a One80,right?
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
it's changing right, it's a I'msure you know a 180, right?
Margaret Ereneta (00:35):
Timothy Reigle grew up in the church as a
pastor's kid.
Even after saying yes to Jesus,he became enslaved to the sin
of porn addiction.
Hear how he broke free and whatadvice he has for others
trapped in porn today on One80.
Timothy Reigle (00:56):
I grew up in a small town called Dixon,
Illinois, about an hour west ofChicago, Tiny little farm town,
Grew up on a family farm.
My dad was a pastor of a churchand so I grew up as one of
those PK kids.
You kind of got to worry abouta little bit.
But I grew up in a happy,healthy, loving Christian home
and I have wonderful parents andI still have a great
(01:18):
relationship with my parents andI grew up in the church and
went to Christian school and allthose sort of things and didn't
have any really major issues.
But the one thing that wedidn't really talk a whole lot
about was sex and specificallyporn.
You know, it was back in thekind of the purity culture era
of the late 90s, early 2000s,you know, and you know the big
(01:42):
three were, you know, don'tdrink, don't smoke and don't
have sex, Right.
Well, when you get a little bitof a rebellious you know
teenage hormonal boy, what doyou think?
The three things you want to domost are right, and so those
sorts of things were neverreally discussed.
And so I discovered porn at ayoung age I was probably 13 or
so and to me it was like, well,I always thought this was this
(02:07):
evil, horrible thing.
It's like this is actually.
This is great, you know.
It was exciting, it wasthrilling for me and I was kind
of hooked instantly to that andso it became my go-to.
It became not just a habit, itbecame an addiction.
And as I got older and wasdealing things through my
teenage years, it continued toescalate and continued to get
worse and it became how I dealtwith everything.
(02:28):
How I dealt with emotions, howI dealt with fears, how I dealt
with insecurities Just goingthrough normal things as a
teenage boy, right, High schoolgirlfriends, breakups, you know
things like that.
Everything.
I was happy, I ran to porn.
I was sad.
I ran to porn.
I was angry, I ran to porn.
It just became how I learned todeal with everything, because I
never really learned to dealwith those things in a healthy
(02:50):
way.
It didn't get dealt with and itcontinued to escalate.
So as I got a little bit olderinto my later teen years, it
escalated in both frequency aswell as in the type of things I
was looking at.
It got much more hardcore stuffyou know got into you know
webcams, and more extreme thingslike that as I got older.
(03:12):
Then I, like I said, I'm alittle bit of a rebellious
pastor's kid, so I ended upplaying in a lot of punk rock,
metal bands, things like that,lived kind of the sex, drugs and
rock and roll lifestyle for afew years.
You know where porn andsexuality is just par for the
course.
Right, it's part of theexperience, it's part of the
community.
And so I went really deep intothat and it just continued to
(03:34):
get worse as I got older and gotinto my late teens and early
20s.
I got married relatively young.
I was 21 when I got married andkind of naively thought that
that would solve all my problems.
Right, Okay, well, I'm marriednow starting a family.
You know these aren't going tobe issues anymore.
And the opposite happened.
It got worse because it wasn'ta sexual issue.
(03:59):
Right, it was how I learned tocope with everything, how I
learned to deal with everything.
It was my escape.
Learned to cope with everything, how I learned to deal with
everything.
It was my escape.
And when you get married youstart having families.
I needed that escape morebecause there was more stress,
there was more pressures on meand so I kept going to it more
and it got worse and itcontinued to escalate to the
point where my addiction wasn'tjust porn and masturbation and
online things.
(04:19):
It went into talking to peopleonline, eventually meeting up
with people from online, and Ihad, you know, multiple affairs
and hookups and all kinds ofkind of extreme type of things
that happened and that continuedoff and on for the first 10 or
so years of my marriage.
(04:39):
And I did all of the rightthings right.
I got caught several times andI kind of talked my way out of
it, lied my way out of it.
You know, things got better fora little bit, but that always
go back to it.
And I did all the things you'resupposed to do.
I went to counseling, I talkedto my pastor, I did all the
Bible studies, I read all thebooks, I went to retreat
(05:00):
weekends.
You know, I did all thesethings that you're supposed to
do and they would help for awhile, but I'd always end up
going back to it.
I could never fully defeat thisand at one point my wife and I
separated for almost a year.
At this point we had moved toPennsylvania, where I live now,
and she had actually gone backto stay with her family in
(05:21):
Illinois for almost a year.
But, praise the Lord, we wereable to get back together after
that, and so it just continuedto spiral out of control over
all these years and it neverreally got better.
It would get okay for a while,then I'd go back to it.
Then okay for a while, then I'dgo back to it, and it was just
this vicious cycle for years,for years.
(05:42):
You talk about what my life waslike growing up and how faith
played in my life.
There was never really a timethat I didn't.
I always knew this was wrong.
I always knew it was sinful.
There was never a period whereI tried to justify it.
Really, I may have played somemental gymnastics with myself,
but I always knew it was wrong.
I was always convicted of it.
I wanted to do the right thing.
(06:03):
I just I couldn't.
I didn't know how you know, andI didn't have the tools and the
things to deal with it in ahealthy way to really help me
get through it.
So I would have consideredmyself a Christian all through
this time and I was going tochurch all through this time and
I'd never denied my faith oranything like that.
I certainly wasn't living itright.
I wasn't repentant of my action, but I never, I always was
(06:26):
convicted of the sin that it was.
You mentioned the rock bottom.
I don't know if I ever totallyhit a true rock bottom.
I mean that's kind of hard todefine.
My wife and I were actuallyable to get back together and
work through those things, butkind of the turning point for me
, which kind of call my rockbottom, was the last time I got
caught, which was almost sevenyears ago now.
Was I got caught?
(06:49):
Not by my wife?
But I got caught by my two bestfriends at the time and they
had been guys that had been withme through it all.
They were my accountabilitypartners.
They were aware of my struggles.
They helped me and encouragedme and prayed with me.
We were very close.
Our families would go onvacation together and all these
sort of things, and so when theyfound out it kind of blew
everything up, kind of exposedme, and those two friends kind
(07:12):
of completely abandoned me, likewalked away from me.
They're like Tim, you've liedto us just as much as you've
lied to everybody else.
We're done and for whateverreason, God used that to finally
get through to me.
Reason, God used that tofinally get through to me, which
, in hindsight, looking at itnow, it breaks my heart that it
(07:35):
wasn't all the pain I'd causedmy wife and the damage I'd done
to my marriage and to my family,to my kids, For whatever reason
, that didn't wake me up.
But losing these two buddiesthat I go out for a beer with
and hang out and watch afootball game with, and whatever
, Losing those friendships waswhat woke me up to this, and I
don't know why, but that waswhat God used to speak to me,
for whatever reason.
(07:55):
And so after that I did get realhelp and the most important
thing that I had is I had arelationship with a pastor,
friend of mine, who really camein and mentored me and he called
me out on my sin, rightfully so, called me to repentance, but
he did so with love.
You know he didn't just comeand, you know, beat me over the
head with the Bible and tell mewhat, how much of a filthy
(08:17):
pervert I was and all thosethings he said.
What you're doing is wrong andyou need to repent, you need to
stop.
He didn't sugarcoat it orjustify it or excuse anything.
He said you're not too broken,Tim, God loves you, God forgives
you and we're going to walkthrough this together and I'm
going to get you through this.
And that's what really made thedifference for me.
(08:37):
And he helped me to understandthat it wasn't like I had this
uncontrollable sexual appetite,that I was just just had no
self-control or no discipline oranything like that.
He helped me understand thatwhat I was dealing with was an
emotional issue, not necessarilya sexual issue, and so I was
using porn to escape, to cope.
There was things that hadhappened in my life that I was
(09:02):
using porn to run away from runaway from those pains, those
fears, those insecurities, and Iwas using it to try to fill a
void in my life.
I was using it to try to fill aGod-sized hole in my life,
really.
And he helped me to understandthat and that's what really made
the difference.
It wasn't just trying harder orhaving the right habits or the
(09:22):
right routines or even justpraying harder.
That was certainly a huge partof it was praying really hard.
But I had to understand andheal this wound.
And that's something that I sayall the time now is that porn
addiction isn't something youquit, it's something you heal,
it's a heart issue, right, it'snot a sexual issue.
It's not a discipline or awillpower issue All those things
are involved with it but at itscore it's a heart issue, and
(09:43):
that's what made the differencefor me.
Intro (09:46):
Hey, thanks for listening to 180.
Make sure to share today's 180with your people.
It may be the best news thatthey hear today.
Now back to the show.
Timothy Reigle (10:02):
So, since then I've been able to be free from
this.
Praise the Lord, and my wifeand I actually renewed our
wedding vows on our 10thanniversary.
We're coming up on 17 yearshere this year.
But we renewed our wedding vows, healed and restored our
marriage, and our marriage isbetter than it ever was now.
So I've healed the relationshipwith my kids, the damage that's
done there, and turned my lifearound, repented to the Lord,
received His forgiveness and nowlive my life according to His
(10:23):
word.
And so that's the journey thatI've been on, and now I live my
life according to his word.
And so that's the journey thatI've been on, and I've been
blessed since then, not only tohave fixed this in my own life,
but to help others through it.
You know, I kind of thought,once I got through this, I'd
quit watching porn, I'd quitbeing unfaithful to my wife, I'd
healed my marriage, I'drepented, you know, I made
myself right with the Lord,fixed all those relationships
(10:45):
and I was kind of like, okay,that's great, that's a new
chapter in my life, Turn thepage, move on.
Don't need to broadcast this tothe world.
What all my dirty secrets werein my sinful life.
Well, God had some other plans,as he often does right and so
he kept bringing upopportunities for me to share my
(11:06):
story, like I'm doing with younow, and to tell other people
about it and how he saved me andhow he forgave me and how he
helped me find freedom.
And I was able to mentor someyoung guys at my church and help
them.
I was able to start.
I started my blog and startedwriting and being active on
social media and kind of sharingmy story.
And it was kind of like, everytime I opened that door, like a
little bit, God kicked it wideopen.
(11:29):
So he's like no, I want you toshare your story and I truly
believe now that he brought methrough everything that he did
for that purpose.
You know and he's now laid thatmission on my heart that you
know I brought you through thedarkness turn around, reach out
your hand and help other peopleout of that same darkness.
And so now for the last fiveplus years, I've been coaching
(11:59):
other men, helping them toovercome porn addicts and sexual
through that written a coupleof books been able to help other
men become the godly strong menthat they need to be and live
more for the Lord and be stronghusbands, leaders, fathers in
our churches and our communitiesand live life according to his
word.
So that's kind of what Godbrought me through, what God
(12:19):
brought me from and where he'sbrought me to now, and it's been
one heck of a journey, broughtme through what God brought me
from and where he's brought meto now and it's been one heck of
a journey.
Margaret Ereneta (12:26):
If you've listened to One80, you know that
many testimonies have an extrastep.
We call a reckoning, so someoneaccepts Christ, but then they
may fall away from the faith andcome back through repentance.
With Timothy's story you'llhear his coming to Jesus part
and his later repentance, andit's really helpful.
You'll hear his coming to Jesuspart and his later repentance
and it's really helpful how heconnects the two for us.
Timothy Reigle (12:51):
Yeah, I mean, I grew up in the church and I was,
I mean, almost literally in thechurch.
I lived next door, I was apastor's kid, right, and so I
came to faith at a young age andI made a profession of faith I
believe I was 13, was baptized,but I didn't.
I had to believe then and Ibelieve that God saved me and
called me and I responded tothat at that time.
But I didn't fully live it outuntil all these years later when
(13:14):
I had this reckoning and to me,like I said, that moment was
when those two friendsconfronted me.
So, yes, I had to go throughthat process of repentance, of
not just saying you know, Ibelieve this, but living how I
believe this.
I think, all the times you know, where the Gospel of John talks
, Jesus uses the word belief youknow if you believe and all
those type of things.
(13:35):
And the actual word that thatmeans isn't just.
It isn't just believe, it'salso believe and take action.
Right, it's believe.
And there's a response to that.
It's not just understanding aconcept that Jesus died for our
sins and rose again, it'sresponding to that as well.
And so I had all those years inbetween where I kind of
believed that.
(13:55):
But yet it took me a while torespond to that and you know,
there was a lot of hurt and painand things in between.
But, like I said, I believe Godbrought me through that for a
purpose and so when I had thatmoment with those, two friends
were losing me.
That was kind of the turningpoint.
And then when I started workingwith this mentor, this pastor,
friend of mine, who reallycalled me to repentance, I was
always convicted of my sin.
(14:16):
Right, I always knew it waswrong, but I didn't change.
And repentance isn't justunderstanding you're a sinner,
it's changing.
You know a 180, right.
And that takes the work ofourselves, it takes the work of
the Lord too.
And I use to mention thescripture passages a lot where
the Apostle Paul talks in Romans7, where he says and I'm
(14:36):
paraphrasing here roughly but hesays I know what the right
thing to do is, but I don't doit.
I don't want to do this wrongthing, the sinful thing, but I
still do it right?
And that's what it felt like forme, where I know this is wrong,
I don't want to do this, Idon't want to be hurting myself,
hurting my wife, hurting myfamily.
But I couldn't overcome itbecause of that sin that lived
within me.
(14:56):
And it took repenting andlaying those burdens down at the
foot of Jesus at the cross totruly do that.
And once I surrendered thisburden, surrendered this pain,
surrendered all these thingsthat were keeping me ensnared in
this addiction for so long,once I surrendered those to
Christ, that's when I found thathealing, that's when I found
that repentance and that's whenI was able to turn my life
around, was when I surrenderedthose things and gave my life to
(15:19):
Him and stopped trying to holdon to this thing and whatever
that was.
But there was something withinmyself that I just couldn't give
up, that I couldn't fullysurrender to Christ and that I
wanted to hold on to and it'slike no, I need this.
There's maybe a safety in thator there was a, like I said,
kind of a coping type of thingin that, but there was something
in that that I couldn't fullysurrender to him.
(15:42):
And so that process ofdeliverance, if you will, was
when I was finally able to dothe work with the Lord, to lay
down those burdens, lay down mycross and follow him, as the
gospels say right, and so that'swhat made the difference and
what was the turnaround in mylife was that moment when I
(16:03):
stopped just believing andstarted believing and responding
to the gospel.
Margaret Ereneta (16:10):
We ended by asking Timothy what advice he
would give to men who might bestruggling with the same
addiction that he was.
Timothy Reigle (16:19):
My main message to people is I normally have two
things that I say.
Well, three things.
We'll leave it at three things.
First is you're not alone.
You're not alone.
You're not the only onestruggling with this.
Unfortunately, there's millionsof people struggling with this
and you're not too broken,you're not too far gone, you're
not unforgivable.
(16:39):
Second is to don't lose hope.
Right, Christ loves you, Christforgives you, He wants you to
repent and find healing and liverighteously.
You're not so far that He'sgoing to turn his back on you.
He never has and he never willand never leave you and forsake
you.
So there is always hope.
You may feel like you'recompletely trapped and like
(17:01):
you'll never get out of this.
I get it.
I was there for a long time.
I thought, oh, this is just mysentence, this is my penance,
it's my whatever and I'm nevergoing to get out of this.
But I did, and that's howpowerful God's grace and
forgiveness and his strength is.
The third thing is to find help.
You can't do this alone.
(17:22):
I tried to do this alone for 15years and it got me nothing but
heartache and pain, and I knowso many other men.
Yeah, there's a lot of shameattached to it.
There's a lot of guilt, there'sa lot of embarrassment with it,
right, and so it's somethingthey just think that they can
just try harder, just pullyourself up by the bootstraps
(17:42):
and just walk away from it.
Well, it's not, like you know,just breaking a bad habit, like
biting your fingernails orsomething.
It's deeper than that and youneed help to get through that.
It's not something that you canjust do alone.
You need discipline andwillpower.
But you need more than that.
You need somebody who can guideyou, who can mentor you and
help you through that.
So in a lot of ways, thetraditional methods that I went
through weren't helpful to that.
(18:03):
I think that there's an issuethat the church doesn't talk
about nearly enough.
It's getting better out ofnecessity, just because so many
men are struggling with thisthese days, and especially young
men or young teens and evenpreteens are struggling with
this, and so some churches arebeing forced to deal with it out
of necessity.
But it was a taboo subject forso many years.
Like I said in my childhood, itwas the purity culture thing
(18:26):
and you just didn't talk aboutit.
It was just don't do it, that'sa sin.
Well, we never understood whydon't we do this?
What are the consequences ofsin?
And so that caused a lot ofrebellion in my life and I'm
sure it did in a lot of otherpeople's lives.
You, you know it's notsomething that you, like I said,
can just try harder or justpray harder.
It requires those things, butyou need to really understand
what the root causes are, and soyou know, a lot of churches
(18:50):
aren't equipped to deal withthat.
What I ran into was this shamething and it was just a you're
this filthy, perverted sinnerand to get out type of thing
right, and we should be callingout sin in our brothers and
sisters where we see it rightand there's biblical ways of
doing that, and I'm not sayingwe don't do that, but we also
need to show them love.
You know it's sin.
(19:11):
We overcome sin throughrepentance and through love and
helping people through thosethings.
You know we've all sinned andfallen short of the glory of God
.
Right, certain sins have worseconsequences than other sins on
earth, but all sins fall shortof God's perfect standard, and
so one sin isn't necessarilyworse than the other, but we
have to help our brothers andsisters through those things and
(19:34):
do that with conviction, as weshould, but also do that with
love and grace and to help themthrough that.
You know, all the times I wastold that I was just this filthy
pervert and I have to stop.
I needed to hear that because Ineeded to know that it was
wrong, but also that didn'treally help me, and so I want to
give people the tools and theproper help and guidance and
(19:54):
instruction and mentorship andencouragement.
You know, sometimes we needthat kick in the face, right.
We need to get slapped aroundand say, hey, you know, wake up.
Sometimes you just need a hugtoo and say you know what?
I love you, god loves you andwe're going to get through this
together.
And so that's what I encouragepeople to do, what I encourage
the churches to do, and anybodywho's struggling with this,
(20:14):
anybody who knows someone that'sstruggling with this.
You know we don't make excusesfor this.
This is sinful behavior,destructive behavior.
I'm I don't want to say lucky,because it wasn't luck, it was
God's plan.
But most marriages and familiesdon't survive.
What mine did right, and Ibelieve mine did because God had
a purpose for me and God has apurpose for every person
(20:35):
listening to this podcast.
So don't give up, keep fighting, find help, find love, find
encouragement, find people whowill help you through this and
help direct you biblically onthe path to righteousness and
living out God's will.
Margaret Ereneta (20:57):
Thanks for listening to today's One80.
I hope that you can share itwith the people that you know,
and if any of you need help withthis problem, check out our
show notes.
There's so many ways to gethelp in there One80 is brought
(21:18):
to you by One Way.
Intro (21:19):
Ministries Exalt Christ, advance His Gospel.
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