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March 4, 2025 43 mins

Brace yourselves—this one’s an absolute rollercoaster! The unstoppable Logy Logan joins Magnus Danger Magnus on Onwards To Victory for an episode packed with jaw-breaking stories, circus carnage, and outrageous moments that will make you wince, laugh, and seriously question his life choices! 🎪😵‍💫

From the streets of Northern Ireland to performing across the globe, Logy unleashes insane tales of stunts gone disastrously wrong, including the time he severely broke his penis (yes, that actually happened), shattered his jaw, and somehow dodged a $100,000 medical bill—all while flirting with a nurse and attempting to eat a chocolate bar to prove to medical professionals he was fine. Spoiler: He absolutely was not.

Get ready for hilarious disasters, jaw-dropping moments, and the kind of chaos only a true street performer can survive!

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Written by Christian Paul Rattray, Violet Empress Music.
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Producer: Justin Williams
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PLEASE NOTE:
Onwards To Victory takes a fresh, bold approach, stepping away from our usual content, and we couldn’t be more excited for this new adventure! We’ll dive into a wide variety of topics—some a bit more adult-oriented. Parents of younger listeners, please note that some discussions may be intended for mature audiences. Enjoy the wild ride!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Don't you know?
We all cheer for Magnus DangerD.
I am very excited because myguest just so happens to be one
of my favorite people in thegoddamn world, but I very rarely
get to see them.
I've known them a very longtime, but they're here today and
boy oh boy.
Beautiful folks, listeners,viewers, everybody.
Prepare yourself for a goddamnoncoming tsunami of charisma and

(00:41):
hair.
That is my friend, Mr logan.
Holy shit, what the fuck?
Surprise, hello you're here.
It was me the whole time look,you've been sitting in this
chair to my left ever since webegan doing this thing hi logy,
how are you?
I am well, how are you, butit's uh, it's the last week
we're here.
Edinburgh fringe, if.

(01:02):
If anyone's not aware, yeah,logie's been doing a bunch of
stage shows and you've beendoing Street for the last two
weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I've been doing Street from the start as well,
oh yeah, but exclusively Street.
Oh yeah, Exclusively Street thelast week and a half, week and
a half.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, the time dilation is pretty serious at
this point.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
It all blurs together at a point all blurs together.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah now, logi, I'm a big fan of yours.
I think you're fantastic.
I would love it.
This juncture, logi, why don'tyou let us all know, let my
listeners and viewers know, whyany of them should give a flying
fuck as to who the fuck you are.
What tell them.
Tell the people how fuckinggreat you are.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I'm dubious about how great I am.
I am what I like to think.
I'm adequate.
I'm like you know a decentheight, a fine build, a gentle
lover.
I feel like you know?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
oh yeah, can it can confirm?
Let's get.
Okay, I'm gonna tease this shitout of you.
Where, okay, where are you from?
So?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
I am from northern ireland ah, there's a northern
island, okay yeah, based inLimavady, northern Ireland,
northern Ireland's best keptmedium-sized town in 1988, and
2002.
Yeah, Home of.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Danny Boy All right, oh, he's here around here
somewhere.
How long have you?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
been doing street, for I think I've been doing
street about 15 years.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
This is for those who aren't aware, we're not.
We don't mean, like you know,freelance prostitution.
We're talking about streetperforming.
Wait, I forgot your answeralready.
How long have you been doing it?
15 years, holy mackerel.
Jesus, Louise, how manycountries have you gone to?
Because I've seen yourInstagram.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
you exciting man.
I was talking to someoneearlier about this.
I was trying to work it out.
I think it's possibly 49countries.
But I also I keep gettingeither reminded about stuff that
it was like, oh, you were thereas well and I was like I forgot
I went to that country, or youwere in this country and I was
like I forgot about that, or Isay that I'm somewhere and
they're like you'd never beenthere.
That doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
This sounds very similar to that when you try and
write down all the peopleyou've had sex with.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
And it's mostly just different drawings of yourself.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, and it's like, oh, that's masturbating, but you
do a deep drawing.
Yeah, I'm a visual learner.
Yeah, I just draw portraits ofall the people I vaguely
remember.
Oh yeah, just their genitals,just like to a sketch.
Genitals and feet, ah yes.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
I can tell by the feet in the same way.
You know, like dentists andstuff, they use medical records
for teeth.
Oh yeah, I can tell by the toeswho I've been with.
All right, yeah there's this.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
You've reminded me of this very weird thing.
I don't know if I brought thisup in a previous podcast yet,
but, um, I'm getting like nakedfor strangers, you know, every
night, and we just recentlycelebrated the 200th adult show.
It's the 200th nakedwalkthrough of the show.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
I'm just glad you said chill at any point in that
sentence.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, 200th conviction?
Yeah, yeah, it was like the200th show.
So if you're being prettyfrugal about it, you would say
you could average out it's atleast 100 people per show.
Right, it's definitely morethan that.
But 200 shows with 100 people,that's 20,000 sets of eyes on

(04:20):
this.
Goddamn.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
UPS package, sweet package, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
So this thing that happens when you're walking
around in Edinburgh I don'tthink I've told you about this
it's really odd when people justclock you in the street and
they figure out who you are andthey do this weird look.
That's kind of like they justgive it a quick up and down and
then they kind of clam upbecause they're not really sure
what the protocol is.

(04:46):
You know, like in their mindthey go I've seen your dick, but
I don't know what am I do?
I still say hello, are we nowclose enough to hug?
I don't know I, I've.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
I had a thing.
I had a very similar thing.
I did a show once where me anda guy did possibly the best
trick that has ever happened ona stage.
Oh, where we thought we werelike standing ovation, yeah,
there was three of us all doingDiablo and we thought, do you
know what we're going to do?
This amazing trick where oneperson's going to spin the
Diablo, we're going to put it onthe string, we're going to
launch the Diablo up in the airand the other person catches it

(05:16):
and it's like brilliant.
But we thought we would tie thestring, your cock and balls,
spin the diablo on it, jump backat the same time, launch it
into the air.
Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah, we went for differenttheories on how to tie it.
So he went around his ballswhere I went only on the shaft
because I'm a clever kitten andI was like this will make more
sense.
And as I, as I jumped back, twothings happened the string in

(05:42):
his side tightened so much thatthey couldn't get it off.
So one of the stagehands washolding him down, trying to cut
it off.
But he was trying to get it off, whereas mine ripped off and
injured my dick, which I wasstanding completely naked.
The third guy just caught theDiablo smiling.
Everyone stood standing evasion.
I went to lean against what Ithought was the wall at the back

(06:03):
.
It wasn't, it was the curtain.
So I fell off the back of thestage, had to crawl up onto the
stage to get out, and then I hadto get someone to give me a
hand to go to the.
It was Naked, with a Naked,with my dick bleeding, and then
I had to go to the on-site, likeA&E guys.

(06:27):
Oh, site like a and a guys, ohgod.
So I went across to them and itwas in, it was in the
netherlands.
And I went across to the guyand it was a younger doctor and
an older doctor and I putclothes back on at this point,
went in.
I was like, oh, I've had aninjury.
And they were like oh yeah,that's just what we're here for.
And it's like it's a straininjury.
And it's like no, we've seenall of it.
And I was like all right, I'vebroken my dick.
And the older doctor was like,get, no, stuff happens all the

(06:48):
time.
So I pulled my trousers down.
But the younger doctor, helooked me in the eyes and then
I'm a junk and back of the eyesand back of my dick.
And then just walked out anddidn't say anything.
And I tried to explain to theother guy.
He was like what happened.
I was like, oh, it's, I think,a friction burn and nipping and
ripping.

(07:08):
Oh yeah.
And as he was looking at it Ikept saying to him.
I was like so I want theswelling to stay, but the pain
to go away.
And he kept looking at me.
He's like what do you mean?
I was like I want the swellingto stay there, but I want the
pain to go away and he's like.
I don't understand why youwould want that.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
He's like you don't understand why I would want that
.
Do you not have erections inthis country?

Speaker 2 (07:34):
But what made it worse?
He gave me do you know one ofthe things if you broke your
finger you get the little sockfor your finger.
So he gave me like a littledick sock.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, really Like the little finger condom.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
With a little splint on the side of it.
And then my favorite thing waseveryone who's seen that show
kept seeing me in the nextcouple of days and every time
they would see me they were likehow are you?
And then a fabulous.
And then there was a friend whowas sitting.
I was having dinner withsomeone and this other person
didn't know what happened, yeah,and a group of friends came and

(08:10):
sat and they just assumed theyknew, they thought they were
another performer and they werelike, oh so we've all been
talking and, um, we didn't youknow, we didn't know what to do.
And we were like how does yourdick still work?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
So without context, these other guys were like what
the fuck?

Speaker 2 (08:29):
And then, to make it worse, one of the guys turned
around and was like look, we allput our data together.
Okay, this was about maybe 10years ago.
They all put their cell phonedata together.
I was like we downloaded yousome porn and we put it onto
this phone in case you need tocheck.
But there was a weird momentbecause I was like, oh shit, I
don't know if I have had anerection since this happened.
I've not been thinking about it, I've been putting cream on it.

(08:53):
Wait, did they give you that?

Speaker 1 (08:55):
anti-erection cream.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
They gave me cream and I don't know.
There was no point that.
I looked at my junk and thought, yeah, this, this thing is
going well.
It looked, it had so manycolors, it was beautiful oh,
like a work of art.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Whoa did it go?
Like crazy it went all thecolors, wow.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
But the only thing was I kept every time I tried to
document it.
There was no good angle thatmakes it look like it wasn't a
beaten up swollen child's penisLike a minced peacock.
Oh, it was like shrunken fromthe pain but swollen in weird
places.
Everything looked wrong in it.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
I have a feeling we're going to be talking about
your injury because there'sstill at least one very, very
big injury story that you and Ihave shared, that we've got to
get to at some point the timethat your dick got broke.
Get to at some point your dickgot broke.
I've had like a couple of dick.
I mean I've had a banjo stringgo um and a oh I've still.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
I've got a scar from an ex who had like very sharp
fingernails I have a weird scaron my chest where a woman put a
cigarette out on me because shesaid do you think you'll
remember me?
And I was like yeah, maybe.
And then she put a cigarette onmy me because she said do you
think you'll remember me?
And I was like yeah, maybe.
And then she put a cigaretteout of my chest.
It was weird because I wasstaying at hers and I had
nowhere else to go, so I justhad to play it off.
Like you know, that's a coolthing to do to me.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
No, you told me yesterday you love gaslighting.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah, man, what you've had, yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Cigarette.
What the hell is that story?

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh so there was a woman who I met and she's really
lovely and she used to play inbands.
She was a drummer in a band,yeah, and we hooked up a bunch
of times and it was I think thiswas whenever I was, I think,

(10:39):
like maybe 18 or 19.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
So everything was all still exciting.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
You're like, yeah, captain Slut, and, oh my God,
someone willing to have sex withme Great, Great yeah, and I was
like, oh, and she was olderthan me, and you were like not
by much, like about five years,which at the time feels massive
when you're 18, that's a bigdeal.
Yeah, and I was.
I think I tried to smoke alittle bit because I wanted to

(11:02):
look cool.
Oh yeah, but I was trying tonot cough and stutter, so it was
very.
It turned into one of thoseone-sided conversations because
I was trying not to cough.
So I think she thought maybe Iwas being silent and then she
took that upon herself to go doyou know what?
This young man, maybe hedoesn't think he's too cool to
converse with me, so maybe Ineed to treat him mean, Treat

(11:25):
him mean, keep him keen.
I mean, that's a fairly seriousescalation.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
You've still got a scarf.
Of course it's a particularperson, jesus.
Wow, well, I mean it worked.
Do you like send her Christmascards or something?

Speaker 2 (11:38):
I just ashtrays, just send her ashtrays.
She's like that's what you use,that's what you're supposed to
do.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
You said they're like ashtrays, with you in them.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, just little cutouts yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
We're like wearing a Christmas hat.
We'll do a photo shoot of youdoing one of those really dorky
Christmas in a sweater.
Oh no, it can't be a sweater.
You have to have your chestexposed, yeah.
Just written across my face heythinking of you, oh man, the
injury story that I want tobring up.
I just maybe this is hubris,but I'm just assuming that it's,

(12:13):
you know, amongst the biggestinjuries.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
I think it's definitely up there.
Yeah, I think the fallout fromit as well made it worse.
How long ago was it now was atthe very, very start of lockdown
?
Yeah, because whenever I wentinto hospital the world hadn't
shut down yet and when it cameout it had the world.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
oh my god, it was like a 28 days later scenario
okay, I want to set this up nowbecause there was this, there's
a preamble to this that I thinkis pretty amusing.
So you and I were sharing anAirbnb in Adelaide, right, and
you know, both of us, we're bothvery busy.
Yeah, we're busy, men Stuff todo.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
We're men.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, you know doing a bunch of man stuff manning it
up.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Cutting wood.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Yeah, shaping Fitting on the ground, yeah, yeah.
Complaining of a woman yes, ohyeah, of course telling you know
50s style jokes about our wivesyeah but, um, we, we did have
room for a third to stay thereoh yeah, this, but this story

(13:16):
right.
So the absolutely delightfuland, quite frankly, uh,
spectacularly gorgeous AmyDimples was looking for a place
to stay, and this is going tosound really dodgy.
Just the first bit.
She was looking for a place tostay and she didn't have a lot
of money.

(13:39):
This sounds really good I alsoremember that conversation with
her as well.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
It was like it just felt dirty when she mentioned.
She was like yeah, yeah, she'slike I don't have a lot of money
and stuff, but I can cook andclean.
Yeah, not unlike a maid.
Yeah, you're like that was forher words, yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
and she's like, yeah, uh, I just I need some place to
say I like you guys, uh, and I,I can't pay my way, but yeah, I
will, I'll be your maid for themonth.
And she's like, she's just sogood and instantly, of course,
I'm just imagining, well, we'regoing to get her an outfit for
this yeah.
But you and I were both lookingat each other, going this seems

(14:19):
like a good deal and we'd behelping her out.
Can we do this without seeminglike complete pieces of shit?
Yeah, but she was like, yeah,absolutely.
And then we did, yeah, and thenshe was fabulous.
We had a great time, yeah, andluckily she was there, because

(14:39):
it wasn't long after that thatyou I heard the story was you
were taking a phone call fromyour mum yeah, Is that okay?

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah, because what did end up happening?

Speaker 1 (14:51):
This is the big part of the story here, the main
injury.
Yeah, I'll let this spill outof you.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
So my favourite thing about the story is, every time
someone asked me about it,everyone's heard something
slightly different.
Yeah, and it was like myfavorite is someone's like oh, I
heard you fell off a bike.
And they were like, oh, youride motorbikes.
And I was like no, it wasn'tabout, it was a scooter.
And they're like, oh, some ofthose scooters are dangerous.
Like no, no, like a normal pushscooter.
They were like those electricscooters are getting.

(15:19):
And you're like, no, no, no, no,no, a child's push scooter, no
engine, no motor, no, just anormal child's push scooter.
And I stood on it and they werelike, oh, you must be really
drunk.
It's like nope, just finishedshows and I was getting ready to
go home because I had kids showin the morning, yeah, and they
were like you must have beengoing really fast.
And I was like, no, no, Iliterally stood on it with one

(15:44):
foot and my other hand I heldthe middle of the bar because it
was at the same time it wasquite late at night and it was
early in Ireland.
So I rang my mum to check in onher and see how she was.
So I had my mum on my ear and Iwas like oh yeah, I could, I
could ride with one hand.
Yeah, I'm an adult, I do circus, I do big stunts, I can do

(16:04):
unicycles, I could do yeah,people who don't know, you do
like extremely.
Your street show is one of themost dangerous yeah yeah, there
is I like talking about, Ispecialize in like balance stuff
.
It's like my main skill set.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, you do like you know, uh, flaming torches and
machetes on a roller bowler, ona platform in the street, on
cobblestones.
Yeah, you, you are a balancemaster.
This is.
This has got to be a hugeproportion of your actual act.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Yeah, and it was.
I was more than confident that.
I could go forward in a straightline.
So I held the middle, I pushedonce and then the next thing, I
was like, oh, I'm on the groundand my mum.
I had the phone.
Mum was like is everything ok?
And I was like, yeah, no, Ijust dropped my phone, I'll call
you back.
So I hung up my mum and I waslike is everything okay?

(16:58):
And I was like, yeah, no, Ijust dropped my phone, I'll call
you back.
So I hung up my mom and I waslike, oh, is it weird?
And I put my hand down and as Iwent to like put my hand up, I
slipped in.
What I then found out was blood.
Oh, yeah, my face a second time.
And then I was lying and I havethis weird thing.
So anytime I've broken a bone orhad a serious injury, I always
get this overwhelming sense ofcalm.
Oh, and I get like reallyrelaxed.

(17:21):
And then my tummy feels I'mtrying to think of a more adult
way of saying my tummy feels alittle funny.
Yeah, I have a little funnyfeeling in my tummy and I was
like, oh, oh, I think I've, Ithink I've hurt myself.
So I picked my phone and I waslike lying on the ground and I
went into shock.
So I phoned the ambulance, yep,and I ring them.
They were like where are you?
And I'm like I'm on the groundand I was like where are you?

(17:44):
And it's like I'm in Adelaide,there's trees near me and they
were like you're not helping atall here.
Yeah, I'm not sure where it wasthat you.
It was like in the in the parknear the trees near where the a
pond was.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, that was like my description and they were
like you're, not I think I knowthis spot, yeah, now, yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
And they were like oh , we'll, we'll stay on the phone
with you, we're going to sendsomeone out and he's like
awesome, I'll just lie here,yeah.
And then started trying to makesmall talk because I didn't
know what else to do.
So I'm just like how's?
How are guys getting on?
And then I think she thought itmust have been a prank call,
because you're like what haveyou done?
I've fallen and I can't get up.
You sound like a young man.

(18:28):
You don't sound like an elderlygentleman who's fallen over.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Are you injured?
You're quite spry.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, and I was like I think I'm injured.
My tummy feels funny.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
So yeah, and it's like I think I'm injured.
I'm pretty, my tummy feelsfunny, so I think I'm injured.
So it just sounded fake.
Yeah, oh, my God, well it would.
They're not used to somebody ofyour caliber having a
conversation, jesus.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Christ.
And then eventually, when theambulance did arrive, they
helped me up and got me in theambulance and they actually I've
got loads of photos on my phonebecause that was when I first
seen my face.
My face was all blood and loadsof my teeth were broke, yeah,
but they ended up they strappedone of my arms down because I
kept taking selfies.
I'm trying to take like what Iwas classing as cute selfies,

(19:10):
yeah, or I kept like doing alittle bite in my fingers and
like doing a little over theshoulder numbers, so they
strapped one of my arms down tostop me doing it.
So then I started trying to getmy phone with my other arm.
So they took the phone off meand then I asked they because, I
think again, they just thoughtI was, they thought I was drunk
or right, something was up, yeah, because then I also asked one

(19:30):
of the.
So there was a male and femaleambulance, ambulance person yeah
and I just asked the woman whowas working.
I was like, look, be honest withme, I've clearly landed my face
.
This is an injury.
But if I looked like this and Iwas at one side of the bar and
I ordered a drink for you andlike, winked, would you accept
it?
And she was like, no, I'mactually.

(19:54):
I have a female partner.
And I was like, oh, this ismore important.
Do I still look good enoughthat you would go?
No, maybe I do, like cock.
So that just made it worse.
Where they were like this guy'sfine, this guy's completely
fine.
He's maybe chipped a tooth, butthere's nothing wrong with him.
Oh boy, yep.
And then they took.
So eventually they got me intothe hospital anyway.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
But all of the main stuff would have been under your
beard.
Yeah, because a beard wasbigger.
For those of you that are justlistening, Logie has one of the
most impressive and fabulousbeards in all of Christendom.
Yeah, it's long, it's girthyand it's separated.
Yeah, in order to make otherpeople not feel jealous, it's

(20:35):
been separated into childlikebaubles.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
I've went for more anal beads, but oh yeah, of
course or I'm just imagining thetextural experience of that.
Yeah, I think the visualdescription of my beard is yeah,
hairy anal beads hanging frommy chin that reach, reach, my
belt buckle, but they're not.
They're not enough to reacharound the back, but they're
getting there yeah, well, I meanit was.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
it's pretty much like where it was before I think
it's.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, I only know this because I measured it a
while ago.
I think it's two inches off thelength it was prior, wow.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wow, wowie zowie, but Jeez.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
And it was one of, you know, your greatest features
what people would recognize.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, you were kind of people would recognize.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, but you're big.
For anyway, like you used it inthe show yeah, you, the beard
was part of the show you woulduse it to do like whip cracks
and stuff like that so this is afairly integral part of the
logy experience yeah, and it wasthe sort of it was the thing
that people recognized straightaway.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
So they're like, yeah , they know it.
So the beard covered up most ofthe injuries, yeah, and then
when I got so eventually, when Igot into the hospital and they
took me for the x-rays, theycame back and they were like, oh
, you've got um.
They're like, oh, you've broken, broken your jaw.
And I was like all right, sweet, it seems.
It seems all right.
And they're like you know,you've broke your jaw in three

(21:52):
places and I was like oh, it'sthree breaks and they're like no
, no, it's on one side.
It was broken so badly.
It was like broken like fourdifferent parts.
One, the middle part, wascracked in half, essentially,
yeah, and the bit up beside myear was so badly broken that
they were like we just have toremove the bones yeah but at the
time I was like they were likeoh, you're gonna have to shave

(22:12):
your beard, everything's gonnaget, it's gonna be a massive
operation.
And I was so convinced that itwas fine that I got.
They came into the examination,then they left.
Then I got up because they gaveme a razor and they were like
or electric thing?
They were like we don't want toshave it, we want you to get to
shave your own beard.
We feel bad doing it for you.
So my instinct was okay, I'llleave the razor here.

(22:33):
I'm gonna go to a vendingmachine, I'm gonna buy some
chocolate and prove to them myjaw is fine by eating it in
front of them.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
So it's like walking down the road Knowing what I
know now.
That is insane.
Your shock response is amazing.
It's genuinely ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, it happens so often.
It's scary Jeez Louise.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Okay, so next?
This is right, I cannot.
Louise.
Okay, so next, this is right.
I cannot believe.
Yeah, I don't want to interruptyou at all.
Keep going, it's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
So I end up.
One of the nurses find metrying to buy chocolate One of
the ones that just told you toshave your beard.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
There's going to be an expensive operation.
What are you doing in a gown infront of the fucking venue?
Where's your money At thisstage?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Did you have money on you.
I had a handful of cash Fromdoing street shows.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
That's what I mean.
That's right, because they pickup your backpack and you yeah,
you do street show stuff withyou.
Yeah Right, I read, this isimportant for later on.
Yeah, yeah, we're going to setthe tone, okay.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah, important for later on, yeah yeah, we're gonna
set the tone, okay.
Yeah, oh fuck.
Yes, I remember, but then soyeah.
So they eventually caught meand took.
So they took me away and theystood and guarded the outside of
the bathroom.
I had to, like, shave my beard,oh my god, I didn't know this.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Oh fuck, so I did?

Speaker 2 (23:50):
I did set up a camera and filmed shaving my beard off
.
Oh.
And when I shaved it off, themoment I took it off, the
realization hit.
It was like, oh, my face is notthe right shape at all.
Yeah.
And that's when I realized Ifucked up.
Yeah, my face resembled alittle bit.
Have you ever seen the Goonies?
Oh, yeah.

(24:11):
You mean Sloth?
Yeah, it had that kind of shapeto my face, oh wow, oh, because
it was swollen up.
Yeah, it was crazy, all wrong.
And then I was baby rude, yeah,oh, wow.
But then I came.
So once I came back and I wasin and a couple people came in
to see me and check in on me andthen one of the doctors came in

(24:32):
and were like you're, you're inluck.
In a weird way it was like am I?
There's nothing going well here.
But they were like no, we foundout that actually the top
facial reconstructive surgerysurgeons in australia and
america are coming over toadelaide for a talk tomorrow and
they've seen, we've sent yourstuff to them and they want to

(24:54):
do your operation.
You just have to, like, youjust have to wait.
I think it was like 12 or 14hours.
So they just end up justmorphing giving me tons of
painkillers, tons of stuff.
I don't really remember the gapbetween it.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Oh, yeah, this the painkillers came in in a major
way.
Yeah, over the next month, yeahand then I ended up.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
So I just then went to it, went into surgery and I
remember, because I distinctlyremember seeing the clock before
I went in and it was eighto'clock.
And I remember because Idistinctly remember seeing the
clock before I went in and itwas eight o'clock and I went in
the operation and when I cameout I seen another clock and it
was something past nine orsomething past ten.
It was like I had at my head itwas only like an hour or two
hours, but turned out 13 hours,13 hour operation, wow.

(25:34):
And so I've got a metal platethat runs all the way down one
side of my face.
I've got bits of my jaw missingin the other side.
And I'm also deaf in one ear.
They told me that the bones hadbroken in a way that has
damaged my ear canal.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
So the hammer and stirrup setup is not going to
work.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
They were saying it was like the eardrum was
destroyed and stuff, and I waslike okay.
So after that I was in thehospital and then they were
saying it was like okay, theonly thing we need to sort out
now because they were trying toget all the operation done as
soon as, because these guys cameacross, they kind of pushed
things.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh yeah, to make it happen, they did it for a big
old facial reconstructiveconference.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
But then they gave me the.
They were like oh yeah, so wejust need to try and get all
your IDs and stuff, because thebill for this was, I think, I
think, in pounds sterling.
It was like maybe 120,000 insterling.
And they were like do you havetravel insurance?
And I did, but I had theshittest travel insurance, like

(26:31):
it didn't cover any of thatstuff, fuck me.
So they were like but we don't.
The only things they had washalf a dozen people have come in
to see me and everyone gave adifferent name.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
To describe me like no one knew my full legal name.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
That's right.
Yeah, everybody knows you, butold like streety names of
various different.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
And I was like talking to one of the.
I remember talking to one ofthe he's a ghost the nurses,
nurses.
So the male nurse came in, Iwas talking to him and I was
like, look, what, what's thecrack with if I just got up and
left, like if I just left thehospital, now what, what are the
repercussions?
And they were like, yeah, we,like we can't really do much.

(27:12):
The only information we haveabout you is your home address,
which is the airbnb fix yeah,there was the airbnb.
We were saying it yeah, um, theother thing was we've got your
mobile number and we've got likea bunch of different names,
your mobile number, which is thejust the australian number
you're using while you're inadelaide.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Right, well, it was me, it was an actual number,
okay.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
But he went away and he came back about 10 minutes
later and he was like oh, um,the, actually the last two
digits for your number have wentmissing.
And I was like, oh, you legend,you fuck, this is amazing.
So I was just like in my head Iactually I was kind of welling
up a little bit, my eyes werewatering because I was just in
my head, it was.
I took the drip out of my arm,I took, I tried to take the

(27:52):
catheter out of myself, but Icouldn't get it out.
You have to, you have to do athing to let it release.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, it's got the bubble in it, yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
I figured that out.
It took me longer than I'd liketo admit, like pulling on my
junk and trying to figure outhow to get it out.
So I eventually got thecatheter out and I was like
welling up a little bit, partlybecause of the dick pain and
also because of the, it's likestarted trying to get dressed
and then one of the doctors camein and was like, what are you

(28:20):
doing?
And I was like, oh, I'm goingout for a smoke, is that?
And then he turned around andhe was like all right, you're in
luck.
Your auntie and uncle, who livein Australia, they've arrived,
they've got your bag and stuffand they've got your passport,
so we're able to get all yourdetails and your bag and stuff

(28:43):
and we've got your, they've gotyour passport, so we're able to
get all your details.
And that moment I was like, ohfuck, this is it.
I'm just you snooker, I'm nevergoing to pay this.
Yeah.
And then he said you're in luckbecause I traveled on my.
So because northern ireland ispart of um, the uk, right?
So my northern irish passportis classed as a british passport
.
Then my, I also have a irpassport, which is EU.
Yeah, because I traveled on theBritish passport.
They were like you're under theCommonwealth, everything's

(29:05):
covered.
Oh, nhs covered all of it.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Oh, oh, my God Fabulous.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
That point is when I just Jeez.
That was the point when thefirst time I cried, I just
started crying.
I was like this is amazing, canI stay an extra night?
Wow, they were like what.
I was like yeah, can I stay onemore night in the hospital?
And you put the catheter backin.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
You were so happy.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
They did look at it and they were like what the fuck
have you done?
In my head it was like right,either I have a bit of catheter
left in me or I stay here andpay $120,000.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
I live my life with a bubble stuck at the end of my
urethra.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
You can buy a new dick for like 50 grand.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
That's only a quarter of what they were asking for.
Fuck me.
So.
Was it your real auntie anduncle or was it one of the
showbo's?
Was it a pair of showbo'spretending to be your family?
No, it was real auntie anduncle, or was it one of the
showboats?
Was it a pair of showboatspretending?

Speaker 2 (30:00):
to be your family.
No, it was real auntie anduncle.
Oh, okay, yeah, my uncle movedover to Australia, maybe like 18
years ago.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Oh, I didn't know that.
Okay, yeah, because there wasbehind the scenes while you were
in hospital, right, and I meanit was surreal, what was going
on Like.
First off, there was like hasanyone seen Logie?
Has anyone seen Logie?
What, I don't know?
Is he okay?
Where is he?
And then Wolfie Luth was likebecause she's so well-organized.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
This is another friend.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
She's a street performer yeah, gets around, she
knows what she's doing.
She was, yeah, spreading theword, and then I got that.
I got a message from you thatwas just a photograph.
This is the confirmation that Ireceived to know that Logan had
indeed.
All of these crazy rumors thatsomething was actually happening

(30:52):
was that I got a photographfrom you of a sink.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
It was just a sink with your beard in it.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
It was just like as soon as I saw that, I'm like oh,
this is serious.
Okay, we ain't fucking around.
This is some serious businessFrom then on.
I mean, I don't know how muchof that is a blur, but yeah, you
were, because now we had a maid.
Oh yeah, were.
But yeah, you were, because nowwe had a maid, oh yeah, yes, it
was fantastic, was so verylucky that we had a maid that

(31:23):
could I didn't hear about any ofthis two hundred thousand
dollars oh yeah fuck, and I also.
This whole time I thought it wasan electric scooter.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
It really it was actually one of those it was
like a normal one, of thosethose ankle rashers.
Yeah, because I also rememberthe weirdest thing.
It was Abby.
Abby came and picked me up fromthe hospital, yeah, and brought
me back.
But the weirdest part of thewhole thing was when I went into
hospital there was talk ofCOVID, but while I was in the

(31:55):
hospital.
I think I was in for.
It might have been maybe eightdays, maybe less, maybe more, I
can't remember.
This was a very.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
this was one of the weirdest times ever, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, because then I got, I got picked up and as we
were driving down the road, Iremember looking out the window
and asking is it a bank holidayor something?
Because all the shops wereclosed and they were like oh no,
no, everything shut down.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah, something, because all the shops were
closed and they were like, oh no, no, ever everything shut down.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, showshave been, loads of shows have
been cancelled.
It was amazing we had that wasthe really weird part.
When adelaide fringe startedthat year, it was all business
as usual and then it was about aweekend, people started to say,
oh hey, there's this covidthing, and you know, we're in
fringe land, like the real worlddoesn't exist.
When you're doing a fringe it'slike, yeah, the real world does
their thing and we're doing ourthing.
But yeah, there was.

(32:46):
You know folks would comearound and go, oh hey, wash your
hands a whole bunch.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
What.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
I wash my hands.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
What are you suggesting?
What you think I'm filthy?
Yeah, I'm gonna wash my handssure, and they're like no, no,
you don't know this is gonna beserious, like, but then we just,
the crowds just disappeared.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
We had sellout shows and nobody came yeah, it was
nuts because even actually off.
I just remember the one of theweirdest shows because then I
think it was like a couple ofdays after I got out, they had
First Acrobats Right, tom andCal yes, they put on a charity
gig cabaret Right, to raisemoney for my teeth yeah, to get

(33:29):
new teeth and stuff, yeah.
But I remember being there andit was the weirdest thing
because my face was all swollen,my beard was gone and the
amount of times I was sittingnear people.
My favorite was aj, who was isone of the guys with the head
first acrobat, so he broke hisankle at the time and he was
sitting.
Yes, I remember this.
There was a point where I wassitting with them at the back of

(33:51):
the the tent, yeah, and I lovedpeople would like push me out
of the way to talk to aj and askthem how I was getting on.
Nobody recognized me.
No, yeah, everyone was like I.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
It was such a weird thing like you're not gonna want
to be out and about amongst abunch of people with your face
all fucking like, hey, we'regonna do a great big thing for
logan because his face is sofucked.
Hey, why did you come along?
Bring your fucked fucked face,it'll be awesome.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, and it was genuinely lovely that they were
doing it, but I remember justsitting in the back being like
this is weird.
I don't.
This is weird.
They're talking about me like Idied, yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
And the woman who was hosting it as well, just never
mentioned what it was actuallyfor.
So loads of people thought Iwas dead.
Yeah, is that real?
Because people who didn't knowme or know anything about me
were just like, oh shit, I'veheard this guy's died.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yeah, I kind of knew him, he was nice, he was a
really nice guy.
Yeah, I'll throw a couple ofbucks.
Wow, they really should havemade that clear Head first.
Guys, we do love you.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
We do love you.
We do love you, but, man, thedevil's in the details, guys,
don't let people think thatpeople are dead.
To be fair, I don't think itwas them, I think it was the.
The woman who was hosting justoh yeah, never, never, mentioned
a lot of stuff.
So loads of people were justlike, oh sweet, there's a free
show and you just give a bit ofmoney towards this dead guy, the
giant picture of you with thefloral wreath around it didn't
really help yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
That really mixed signals, for that, I mean,
without putting too fine of apoint on it.
I do remember when you came outof that, because you're a very
handsome man, you're quite awell-constructed young man,
you've got a beautiful, handsomeface.
And then all of a sudden youwere, yeah, like one of the
Goonies production designdrawings and your teeth were
fucked.
Like one of the Gooniesproduction design drawings and
your teeth were fucked.

(35:38):
Oh my God, they were so.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
I think one of the two horrible things about the
after thing as well was so.
My jaw was all wired shut.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
I couldn't eat properly.
Yes, I totally did it.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
And the other thing was because it was deaf in one
ear because, as far as I knew,it was like my eardrum had just
been destroyed and stuff it.
Drum had just been destroyedand stuff it wasn't coming back,
yeah.
Yeah, so I didn't.
I had no high hopes for it.
And then my inner ear wasreally badly scarred up.
Oh right, because they removedmy ear from my head and when
they stitched my ear back onthey didn't know what to do with
the bottom part, because we'vegot my ear stretched.
Oh yeah, so the bottom part ofmy ear is stitched ever so

(36:12):
slightly off and my ear sits alittle bit weird now.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
That annoys me, but nobody else recognizes it or
sees it, but they put it back onwrong Just ever so slightly
wrong, but I end up as well.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
It was like so my ear kept getting full of gunk, yeah
, and I just did.
At that point I was like I justI don't really care that much
about it now, there's nothing Icould do.
So I just got a pair of needlenose pliers and kept just
pulling stuff out of my ear.
And then there was a point whenI went to pull something out
and there was like a littlerustle and I was like, oh shit,
I started pulling a bit more andI pulled out a tiny, tiny bit

(36:44):
of bone that was resting againstmy eardrum and I couldn't feel
it because it was all numb.
But I got talking back in myear.

(37:06):
They were like in all the scansand stuff they were like, yeah,
the damaged jawbone has went upin and it's, it's carved it up
and you managed to grab it fromwait from in your ear.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Yeah, just, I ended up because I also I've never
heard this bit.
This is amazing.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
Yeah, I ended up.
I essentially did surgery on myhead, and then I also, because
I couldn't, because thehospitals were shut down
whenever I went to get my jawunwired, I couldn't do it.
Oh, yes, so I went to Bunningsand just bought all the clippers
, that's right yeah, so I justunwired my jaw but did such a
shit job?
Oh, I bet, because I got nearlyall of it out, apart from two

(37:45):
bits of wire that were throughmy gum that I couldn't get out,
so I just clipped them short.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
This is like for people that don't know, having
your jaw wired shut.
It's not all just on theoutside, it's not just like some
sort of weird cage you had likewires in your gums and yeah
yeah it's oh man, it's brutalityand I was just pulling.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
I was lucky because I have loads of nerve damage, so
a lot of it was just.
It was weird feelings, but itdidn't hurt yeah, just like
pulling out, yeah, wow yeah,because I also enjoyed when I
eventually because I couldn't goto the hospitals in Australia
after that because of COVID andstuff they were like unless it's
an emergency, you're notallowed in.
And it took ages for me toeventually get back to Ireland.

(38:27):
And when I got back to IrelandI had to go to one of the
hospitals and I was like I needthere's wires in my jaw that
need to get taken out.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, and they were like no, there wouldn't be.
And I was like no, there is.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
And they were like, no, if they were undoing it
they'd have done it right.
And you're like, well,apparently they didn't.
So I had to get this doctor'sfinger and put it into a mouth
and like run this finger aroundmy mouth to like touch the bits,
and he was like, oh yeah, it'sreally badly done.
He was like you know, thoseAustralian doctors just don't
know what they're at sometimesyou just throw the doctors under

(38:56):
the bus.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Oh, wow, you that was .
You were very sad panda.
That was a very yeah we.
We were all like, okay, allhands on deck, we gotta look
after logy here.
I remember I have a vaguememory of our maid like taking a
steak and a cheeseburger, yeah,and putting it in a blender

(39:17):
because he could only eatthrough a straw.
Right, you were just eatingthrough a straw and you were
like, I mean, yeah, you couldn'tgo out and do shows and you
couldn't really talk, and thoseare two things you're
phenomenally good at.
You were just kind of stuck notdoing things and yet being in
this little room healing with aface that was far less handsome

(39:39):
than that to which you areaccustomed, yeah.
And so we were like, okay,we're going to cheer this guy up
with a steak.
I think you requested a steakand a cheeseburger.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah, I think so.
You could only have liquids.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yep, so we got a blender and we're blending up
steaks and cheeseburgers so thatyou could have yourself
something cheery.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
I also remember blending up a bunch of it was
like a Bailey's ripoff, and thenblending in a bunch of Kinder
Buenos, yeah, and making, likethese, just alcoholic milkshakes
.
Yes, oh my gosh, because it wasthe only way you could get any
kind of satisfaction was somekind of flavors.
Yeah, and they needed to bestrong flavors.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Very.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Just keep putting different alcohols into
everything.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Man, that is a phenomenally dangerous thing we
were doing.
Yeah, because the amount ofpainkillers and like weird, they
were giving you all sorts ofcrazy pills.
They were like, give him all ofthese.
Oh yeah, that's right, he hasto take all of these because
they're crazy big painkillers.
And then, uh, when he takesthese he's gonna be really sad.

(40:47):
So take this other pill, thiswill make him less sad, uh, but
then you know, he's gonna bereally, really thirsty when he
takes all these.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
So make sure he has a lot of water I also just
remembered that we ended up,before leaving Adelaide, having
kind of a house party, and thenI Was that the orgy Kind no, was
that.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
There was.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
No, it was, but I wasn't part of it.
I wasn't part of it.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
I was doing a show.
I just came back to the houseand there were all these people
there that had just showed upand had an orgy at the house.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
I remember that because I remember it was like
happening.
It was happening in your room.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
It was a massive orgy happening in your room without
me.
I was just sitting in theliving room just being like, hey
guys.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
I can't really do much.
Can I have some juice?

Speaker 1 (41:37):
can you get me the juice pack if I'm over there?
Nice tits.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
It's mainly because I remember staying up and like
intermittently passing in andout of sleep, yeah, and then
getting to the airport with allmy gear and having to phone you
to say that my passport yes, ohGod, I remember that, fuck.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Passport yes, oh God, I remember that Fuck.
Just being in the house withAmy and getting a phone call and
going like he's left hispassport here, we can do this.
The fact that it was happeningat the same time as COVID
dropped, it's just utterlybonkers.
Good times, that was greattimes.
Hey.
Yeah, we've been through somestuff.

(42:21):
Well, we have got to releaseyou back into the wild.
It's time for you.
Who else is going to inseminateall of these attractive people,
if not you?
Someone has to do it.
Yeah, and I tell you what.
You've taken that bullet for usand I appreciate it.
You're doing God's work.
Logie Logan.
Someone has to Thank you verymuch for your sacrifice and the
submarine full of your semen.

(42:42):
Thank you, it's been a pleasure.
Folks, if you don't like Logie,you can get the fuck out.
I don't know what the hell iswrong with you.
Clearly you've got some sort ofinjury to your brain.
Tune in next time where I'll be.
Good night, don't you know?
We all cheer for Magnus DangerZ.
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