April 3, 2025 • 23 mins
Hear this inspiring journey as sit down with Chris Warner, a new parishioner at Holy Family, who shares her story of her ministry of caregiving. Chris talks about her upbringing in Tecumseh to becoming an indispensable member of her community, providing care and comfort to those in need, nursing homes and to her husband before his passing. She discusses the beginnings of her caregiving journey, her long-lasting dedication to ministry, and the profound impact prayer has had on her life. The episode is filled with stories of resilience, faith, and the joy that comes from helping others. Join us as we dive into Chris's life of faith here at Open Seat!
This is a podcast of Holy Family Parish, located in Adrian MI. We are a Catholic people, not a place, striving to Live Jesus through celebrating the sacraments and forming disciples in Adrian and beyond.
www.HolyFamilyAdrian.org
Instagram: Instagram.com/holyfamilyadrian
Facebook: Facebook.com/adrianCatholic
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@holyfamilyadrian
Open Seat es un podcast Parroquia de la Sagrada Familia ubicada en Adrian, Michigan. Somos un pueblo católico, no un lugar, que se esfuerza por vivir a Jesús celebrando los sacramentos y formando discípulos en Adrian y más allá.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I don't look atmyself as anything
extraordinary.
I'm an ordinary person doingwhat gives me joy and
going to the nursing homes.
gives me joy.
Welcome to Open Seat, thepodcast where we create
a space for authenticconversations about faith,
unfiltered and unapologetic.
Here, we believe thatevery story matters.
(00:22):
Whether you're questioning,seeking or steadfast in
your beliefs, you'll findsomething relatable in
these heartfelt discussions.
So grab your seat, getcomfortable, and let's dive
into today's story here at.
Open seat.
So today on the podcast we haveChris Warner.
(00:45):
Chris, we don't, I'm not suremany people know who you are.
'cause you're relativelynew parishioner.
I've, I've only been atHoly Family not a year yet.
I moved to Adrian two yearsago, but, I didn't join
Holy Family till,after Easter last year.
My husband was very ill.
we had a lot of stepsand stairs in our home,
and, so we downsized.
(01:05):
I bought a condo.
one level, walk-in, shower,you know, all the
handicap things.
and what aboutjoining Holy Family?
I was born and raisedin a Tecumseh so I went
to St. Elizabeth all mylife, all my sacraments.
I was baptized in theStone Church, oh, oh, downtown.
But, I I moved here andI still wanted to go.
(01:26):
That was my family.
And so I kept going eventhough it was a long
distance, but if you wantedto go more than once a
week, which I liked to do,it was a lot of mileage.
So after Easter I said,God put me here in Adrian.
I'm gonna go to Holy Family.
But really what put me overthe edge was the mission.
last year.
Father Joe.
did the mission.
And, it just, inspiredme to come here.
(01:48):
We have the otherNewman brother, so, yes, I
know, father Joe.
I love him both.
They're both They're They'reprecious.
Yes.
Yes I'm sure their motherfeels the same way, so that's
good news.
And I'm a mother, so Yeah.
so since we don't knowthat much about you,
why don't you tellus a little bit about yourself?
I was born andraised in Tecumseh.
Mm-hmm.
my parents were marriedin the Stone Church.
okay.
my older sister and Iwere baptized there.
(02:11):
there were six of us.
I'm the second of six.
we didn't have a lot ofmoney, but we never went hungry.
and we were surrounded by love.
Oh.
my parents, sentus to St. Elizabeth School,
which was a hardship for themto, get that amount of money
to do that, but they did it.
And I think that'swhat gave us our, real
base for our faith.
I think, everybody isborn with a purpose and,
(02:35):
A gift or a talent andI, learned at a young age
what my talent was.
well, the nuns didn't agree.
they, they told me to stoptalking all the time.
I have the gift of gab.
and I'm a caregiver.
at the age of 12, myolder sister had a
grand mal seizure,scared us to death.
we had never seenanything like that.
All my younger siblingsand I And my mother rushed
(02:57):
to the neighbor, got himto get his car to take
her to the hospital.
And because I was going toSt. Elizabeth, I was instilled
with the idea of prayerfirst thing.
And so I had all four of myyounger siblings on the floor,
on their knees saying therosary the entire time she
was gone to the hospital.
and after that.
I was her constant sidekick.
(03:18):
I wasn't gonna letanything happen to her.
I think that was thestart of my, caregiving, career.
The start of yourministry, right.
Of my ministry, yes.
Yeah.
So did you do caregiving for,for a career?
Yeah.
No.
I did work at HarryHospital, but I was in the
office doing paperwork.
I worked for several doctors.
Over the years doingpaperwork billings.
but I had a lot of I, I,absorbed a lot of knowledge
(03:40):
from each one of those,knowledge that really gave me
some skills, for, caregiving.
And then I nurtured them myself.
I had a lot offamily members that had, cancer.
And different reallydebilitating diseases and
I seem to be the one theyalways called, mainly
'cause I was there.
and I, I didn't mind helping.
(04:02):
It was something I was drawn todo, so.
Well that's great that youactually use your, your gifts
and talents that God gave you.
in a ministry and probablythe gift of gab, so to speak,
goes Well with caregiving.
Because a lot of itis just being present.
Yeah.
With someone.
I think most of myministries, because I'm
in several, started inmy thirties, I became
a Eucharistic ministerbecause my parents were, I
(04:23):
became a lector, because Ihad the gift of gab and I
felt lector wasn't justreading the readings, it was.
Proclaiming them.
Maybe I should have beenan actress because I like
putting more personalityor more emphasis on
the important parts.
before I get up todo my, read reading.
(04:43):
I always saya prayer, that the Lord
will open the minds of thepeople hear what they need
to hear out of this reading.
Because a reading can mean onething to you and another
thing to someone else.
But if it'sproclaimed correctly,
it will touch your soul andthat's my goal.
that's absolutely beautiful.
to hear that you praybefore you go up and do your
ministry, I think it's anideal thing and it helps
(05:05):
ease some of that, right?
Yes.
Do you ever get nervousbefore you go up?
When I first came toHoly Family, I did yes.
I go to, eighto'clock Mass at St.
Joe's because Igo to the nursing
homes right after.
But, I go toSt. Mary's during the week
too, so, I go to both.
I just, I'm really startingto feel at home and I haven't
even been here a year yet, atHoly Family.
well, if you've attendedthe parish picnic Yes.
(05:28):
if you've attended the missionand Oh, the, one of the
Christmas and Easter services.
I think that makesyou a parishioner.
Actually, I was at threeof the Christmas services.
There we go.
I was lector for three of them.
They were having ahard time getting
lectors I, know,Chris always says yes.
So you need a yes man.
Call Chris.
I shouldn't have said that.
Oh, Maybe you should bleep that.
(05:49):
gettingoh, no, we're always looking
for those people who say yes.
There's alwaysministries for them.
That's me,But I think that's beautiful
because that's truly whatwe're called to do, right?
Is to be, Yes.
the yes in the world, right?
it starts with Mary and her Yes.
And continues with ours.
And so to be open towhatever God calls us to do.
(06:10):
who else have you been acaregiver for and how has that
affected your faith?
Mostly family membersover the years.
but nursing homes,I've been done
nursing homes for 30 someodd years and, you really get
in touch with those peopleand get close to 'em.
I don't just takethem the sacraments
and say a couple prayers andleave.
(06:30):
I read Chickensoup for the soul.
Oh, yeah.
To them.
it brings up topicsto talk about.
Mm-hmm.
I read, reminisce the magazine.
Because it's old things.
they like that.
we sing.
always Amazing grace.
they all know it.
They, they don'thave to memorize it.
They know it.
I like making themfeel like their life
(06:51):
is in, somewhat of theircontrol or that someone
thinks about them.
As we get older, in the,Salesian weekly this week,
Father Joe I think it was,had an article about, come
follow me, come depend on me.
and, you know, at your endof your life or when you're
at that stage that you haveto go in a nursing home.
You have to depend oneveryone around you.
(07:12):
Mm-hmm.
And, I like givinghim a feeling of not
just, being thereand letting everyone
feed them Changethem and whatever.
I like to get them active.
So I've, I've done asmuch as, had ladies in the
church bake cookies and takethem at Christmas time and
have them frost their owncookies.
Oh, you wanna knowReally thick frosting
but they loved it.
(07:34):
I started a red Hat Club whenmy mother-in-law was
in the nursing home.
she was the secretary andI had the families buy
'em, the hat, and then wedecorated them and then
I had red Hatters comein and entertain them.
uhhuh, And I always thoughtRed Hatters was the most
useless organization aroundbecause all they do is have
fun which I guess is okay,but to me, I need a purpose.
(07:58):
And so I gave them apurpose by having them come
and, entertain the ladies atthe nursing home.
they absolutely loved that.
that.
oh, I've donecrazy things with 'em
and, and, I think it.
gives 'em more ofa self worth and
I, I think you said itbest at a time where
you don't havemuch control, Yeah.
For me, my dream is someone tojust make me dinner
three meals a day, cleanmy room, I'm there, I'm ready.
(08:21):
But, I'm also notgonna have to face that
hopefully anytime soon.
So at atime when that is your life,
everyone doing everythingfor you.
And I think with a lot of.
Women especially becausewe're ministering to
people all the time.
Yes.
And so to havethe rug pulled out from
underneath you is tough.
So what has beenyour greatest lesson
(08:42):
you have learned?
prayer really works.
I was very active in theTecumseh Service Club,
which is like your St.
Vincent DePaul.
and, I actually startedthe, habit of breaking
down the kids into a shirt,pants, socks, underwear,
three toys, pajamas, onornaments at the church.
So we took care ofmore children that way.
(09:03):
so I had three ladiesthat would help me sort
them, it never failed.
There were, Some thingsthat didn't come back or
wrong sizes, whatever.
So we would make a list andwe would go purchase them.
Well, it was three or fouryears after we started
that we decided we wouldtake turns purchasing
whatever was neededthat year because it was
never really a very long list.
(09:25):
And, so this one year camealong, I don't remember which
one it was, but, my turn.
I had absolutely no money.
I said, Chris, you said you dothis, you will, God will help
you.
Just use your credit card.
So that's what I said.
So in the morningI said a prayer.
Mm-hmm.
I says, Lord, pleasemake the list small
so I can handle this.
And We get there and we'resorting and the list is
(09:47):
growing and growing.
so I'm praying and prayingand it just keeps growing.
So I quit praying.
I must have been prayingfor the wrong thing.
So, I let it go, you know,and we got done and the
list was so long we toreit in half and one girl
took one half and I tookanother in a
cart we went to Pamidaand Tecumseh back
when they were open.
(10:07):
And we filled both carts.
That's how much we had,and we're getting in line
and there's this one ladybehind me that has one
item and I let her go infront of me.
I says, well, both thesecarts are mine, so you might
as well go in front of me.
So she does.
And she was very happy.
And we get up there andthey cashed out everything
and a bell rang.
We were the 50thcustomer and We got our
(10:30):
entire purchase free.
It still gives me goosebumps.
It gives me goosebumps.
I mean, talk about instantly.
Yeah.
Answered prayers.
Yeah.
I guess that reallyhelped me to believe in prayer.
Were you like,hold on, I gotta go get one more
cart We both stood therescreaming and
because I had told herand, and she offered to
pay for it, and I said no.
I said I would, I I will doit and the Lord will help me to,
(10:51):
pay for it.
And, the bad part was we hadto have our picture taken with
all the items and it hungon there wall for two weeks.
And I hate mypicture taken, but,
well, newsflash, yourpicture's going out far and
wide.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, dear.
don't make me more nervous,but yeah, so prayer.
I, I really believe in prayer.
I believe you'rein the spot you're
in at every moment of everyday, right where you're
(11:13):
supposed to be.
either you, willinfluence somebody else.
Or they willinfluence you but something's
happening all the time.
you talked aboutyour, family growing
up, but do you havechildren and, you had a husband,
you wanna tell us alittle bit about them?
I buried my childhoodsweetheart.
we were married 55 years.
He passed a year and a half ago.
we had three children,Mike, Sheila, and Maryanne.
(11:36):
I hope they don't mindme telling their names.
Those are some goodCatholic names too.
And, very proud of all three.
they've been very, successful,very, good Christian people,
so I'm very proud of them.
I have 11grandchildren and I have
five great-grandchildren.
So you got married at like ageseven, right?
Yeah, we're not gonna guessyour age, but it
can't be very high, higherhigher than you think I
(11:58):
try to keep moving SoI'm not getting old, but,
I don't think that's working.
they, they're making me old.
when your, when yourgrandchildren are, 35
years old, itkind of makes you, you know.
Yeah.
That would be,that would be fun.
So how do you balance family andministry?
Because you're, you'repretty active in ministries.
I always have, my, childrenwere brought up, when I
(12:21):
did the Giving Tree, oneof their gifts at Christmas
was always an ornament.
they gave that gift to a child.
they didn't have a choice.
on going to church on Sunday.
it was, get outta that bed.
You're going to church.
And I didn't have tosay it because they knew it.
and, they know thatI am unavailable on Sundays
(12:41):
until afternoon.
Because I'm at churchor in the nursing home.
they just know thatit's been so many years.
that they just know that'swhere I'm at.
So if they plan afamily, get together.
And it's on Sunday.
It has to be afternoonif they want mom there.
and, they don't seem tohave a problem with, it.
I think they're proudof, what I've done actually.
say no one noticesor, it's nothing.
(13:02):
and that's okay because wedo it not to be noticed.
But I think my greatest, Idon't know what to call
it, my oldest granddaughterwas in high School Mm-hmm.
and she had to write a paperon someone she admired.
and she wrote it onme and told all the
ministries I was in, whichquite a few 'cause you
know, it's me, and Ididn't even realize
(13:25):
she knew I did half of thesethings.
it it still brings, if Iget it out and read it, it
still brings tears to my eyes.
I, I save it in my Bible.
but, yeah.
So people do notice.
Your kids do notice.
You don't really haveto preach to 'em.
You're going to church, you'regoing to catechism, whatever,
because they seeyou do it and they do it.
Does she go to Catholicschool and she was
(13:46):
writing about that?
Or was, is itNo, it was public school
Public Teceumseh public school.
Wow.
Amazing.
Huh?
Amazing.
Yeah.
to be so outspoken aboutyour faith and someone
else's faith in publicschools, it's incredible.
I think it's probably, maybethe word would be greatest
accomplishment.
I think that was, yeah.
I don't look atmyself as anything
extraordinary.
I'm an ordinary person doingwhat gives me joy and
going to the nursing homes.
(14:09):
gives me joy.
Because I am helping them tofeel better about
themselves, aboutknowing that God's with them,
that he's always with them.
It just, gives me joy.
is there a a struggle at times'cause of the nursing home, I
imagine there's some turnover.
Oh, yeah, there's alot of turnover.
I've been to a lot of funerals.
I've planned a lot of funerals.
Funerals.
People do not want to talk totheir loved one about their
(14:31):
impending death.
so I've sat down andwrote the dress they wanna wear.
The music, they want,the readings they
would like, anywishes that they want.
I write it down And thenI put it in an envelope
with their name.
And in the event of mydeath on it.
And I put it in theirside table and it's there
for the family.
I prayevery time I do that, that,
(14:51):
they'll read it and do it, butwho knows?
I've heard many peoplesay, oh yeah, it would
be fun to go visit, youknow, or it'd be fun
to do that, but.
I'm scared.
if you could giveone piece of advice to
someone who is gonnahelp with nursing home ministry,
what do you thinkthat advice would be?
Fear sometimes is a good thing.
but I thinkof it as when I get to
(15:12):
that age and or if I amdebilitated and can't take
care of myself, whatwould I want someone else
to do for me?
And my first answer was,bring me the Eucharist.
I've received the Eucharistsince I was little without fail.
And I can't imaginebeing in a place where,
I wouldn't have that.
so to me.
(15:32):
I'm doing what I wouldwant them to do for me.
Are you also running,like a little service or do
Oh, I do a complete service.
I do the Confiteor Uhhuh.
I read the readings.
I do it a little differentthan at church because their
attention span isn't as well.
So I read one reading, wetalk about it, how it affects
them, how it, plays a part intheir life as it is right now.
(15:53):
if it's too much out of theirrealm, I don't read it.
I skip it.
and read the others.
do you give shorter homiliesthan the priests on Sunday?
'cause I'm thinking I,might come to your service.
I, mean, are we over 10 minutes?
What's the over under Oh, no.
15, It is longer.
like I said, I, have the giftof gab and I draw them into it.
I put them, I ask themquestions about it,
(16:14):
and I draw them intoIt, And, I think
that act, you know It,and forth is good.
It helps them, to connect.
we say they Our father.
I give them communion.
and then we sing songs.
Always Amazing grace.
we've been singing,here I Am Lord lately.
And, yes, Jesus loves me.
Oh, love those songs.
So, and, and wechange it up all the time, but
(16:36):
I print 'em off on mycomputer in big letters, so
they can read 'em, Uhhuh.
so they have the wordsand, they love it.
They love the singing.
and then we talk aboutwhatever, you know,
Valentine's Day, theirsweethearts, who was
their first sweetheart,things like that.
And they like thatbecause it's something
they can talk about.
they see four wallsall day long they have
(16:57):
nothing to talk about.
so, my biggest advice to otherpeople is to visit your people
in the nursing home and notduring the week when you
have the excuse that, I haveto go home, mom, because I
gotta go to work tomorrow.
go on the weekends andvisit with them, share
your life with thembecause they have nothing.
And that's, that's very scary.
(17:18):
my husband He had Alzheimer's,dementia, colon
cancer and lung cancer.
So the last 13 years have beenpretty rough.
he, went to the va and,back when, I'd say, 10
years ago probably,people at St.
Elizabeth, wheneverthey, not so much, 25
years they were married,but 50, they would
renew their vows.
(17:38):
And, so they were renewingtheir vows, quite a few of
them, several weeks in a row.
And so I said to him, onthe way home, one day,
honey, are we gonna dothat when we get to 50?
And he says, heck no.
I did it once.
I'm not doing that again.
and I thought, well, okay,I won't ask him that again.
So I didn't.
And when it got closer to our50th, of course his dementia
(17:59):
was worse.
And the kids were talkingabout, do we wanna party?
What are we gonna do?
Things like that.
And he heard them.
And, we were on our way toAnn Arbor to VA appointment.
And he says to me, so,and he waits five minutes.
'cause you know, they can'tget their thoughts together.
And I says, so what?
And he says, are yougonna call Father Dan?
(18:19):
And I says, father Dan, why?
And he says, So wecan do that thing.
And I says, do what thing?
And he says, you know,the married thing.
And I just about, Isays, oh, you wanna
renew our vows?
And he said, A definite yes.
And, and looked right atme and I thought, oh
my goodness, I almostwrecked the car.
(18:40):
I was so shocked.
And, but so we did, andit was beautiful.
he couldn't repeat all the vows,but he said the first two
lines, the important part.
I chose you thenI choose you now.
And then he couldn'trepeat anything father
said, but father said itwas okay.
But we were all standing therewith tears in our eye, you know?
It was terrible.
It wasn't terrible.
It was good but bad.
(19:00):
It was a bittersweetbittersweet moment.
Yeah.
but thenI came to the mission and
Father Joe told about acouple, or a young man that,
his parents argued and foughtall their lives.
And lo and behold, theydeveloped Alzheimer's.
well, theyhe put 'em in a nursing home
in separate rooms, and hesaid to father, why?
Every time I go there,they're sitting in the common
(19:22):
area on a couch holdinghands and watching tv.
He says, what is that?
And the priest told himIt's perfect memory.
And I'm sitting in themission with tears just
running down because I had myperfect memory.
on the way to the VA hospital.
It was, that's, thingslike that are, are,
(19:43):
I don't know.
Awesome.
back five years ago,it was Dreamland and
we were at Mass and I,noticed that he
wasn't saying the our father.
And he always said, that ourfather, we always held hands
and said the our father.
and so when we got home, Itold him, it's Lent and you
don't have to give up food.
You don't have todo anything like
that, but you should dosomething because Jesus died
(20:04):
on that cross for you and meboth.
and so every night we'regonna say, an our father,
a Hail Mary and a glorybe aloud before you go to sleep.
So every night I wouldsay those with him.
And Lent never ended,from five years ago until
the day he died the nightbefore, we said, I said mm-hmm.
(20:24):
The prayers and Lent neverLent never ended.
So, that's an idea foranybody that, has someone with
Alzheimer's, you know,they do Uhhuh, but we
don't know what their brain is.
really catching,probably a lot of perfect
memories and a lot ofnot the junk we have to
filter through.
less concerned aboutthose moments and more
concerned about living inmoment.
and perhaps it's not abad thing in some ways.
(20:46):
well Chris, I want tothank you 'cause you have
shared a lot of wisdom withus today and a lot about
caregiving, which I thinkisn't really spoken about
a true ministry that it is.
So I, I thank you for that.
And it's, how muchyou put your heart into it too.
I try not to doanything halfway.
I give 150%.
I think if you're gonna dosomething, do it right.
And, it's an important ministry.
(21:07):
think of yourselfwhen you get to that age.
How are you going to.
Well, I'm hoping cryogenics.
are on the table When I getto that age.
Okay, Okay good luck.
I don't really want cryogenics.
I'm ready to goto, to see my Lord.
it's, gotta be better upthere than it is here.
sometimes I think everyoneshould be tormented by me.
but I think that it'sa very true thing.
(21:27):
Like how would you want,I know that when I've had
loved ones in the nursinghome, visiting them can be
it can be internally painful,right?
Because you you have to lookat things that you don't
want to, but, seeingthe smile on their faces
when you walk in the dooror Is powerful.
And they know me.
at one time I had thisone lady, it was so cute.
they have a privacything at nursing homes.
So, you have to knowwho your Catholics are.
(21:49):
and, every time someonewas admitted, she
would say, are you Catholic?
Chris comes on Sundayand she was my, advocate.
she She, brought 'em in.
it was, funny and God bless her.
I had wrote all her.
funeral pans outand, Unfortunately her family
did not carry it through.
Mm-hmm.
but you know, it was, it, Yeah.
It can be very difficult, right?
(22:09):
Yeah.
I know when we went,Christmas Care Link this
year, we went through, lewayMedical, and I think we at.
We're gonna try tovisit specific people.
That was the plan.
But we eventually justwent through all the
halls, just singing.
God bless those peoplefor listening to that.
But, so, and, and theywere just smiling.
In fact, one ofthe residents came
and joined us.
(22:29):
Yeah.
and just started walkingaround the halls,
you know, so, Anyway,you can engage them
and, interact with, I mean,everyone is still our brothers
and sisters.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn'tchange whether they're
in a nursing homeor a prison, you know,
they're all god's children.
children Made in theimage and likeness of God.
We're all worshiping thesame God.
This is correct just indifferent ways.
And of course oursis the correct way.
(22:51):
But, you know.
Well, thank youagain for joining us.
No problem.
Thank you for having me.
It's really an honor.
It's been great to learn alittle more about our new
parishioner.
once again, we thank youfor joining us today.
We hope that wherever youfind an open seat in your
life, you will invitesomeone to join you.
I don't look atmyself as anything
extraordinary.
I'm an ordinary person doingwhat gives me joy and
going to the nursing homes.
gives me joy.
Welcome to Open Seat, thepodcast where we create
a space for authenticconversations about faith,
unfiltered and unapologetic.
Here, we believe thatevery story matters.
(00:22):
Whether you're questioning,seeking or steadfast in
your beliefs, you'll findsomething relatable in
these heartfelt discussions.
So grab your seat, getcomfortable, and let's dive
into today's story here at.
Open seat.
So today on the podcast we haveChris Warner.
(00:45):
Chris, we don't, I'm not suremany people know who you are.
'cause you're relativelynew parishioner.
I've, I've only been atHoly Family not a year yet.
I moved to Adrian two yearsago, but, I didn't join
Holy Family till,after Easter last year.
My husband was very ill.
we had a lot of stepsand stairs in our home,
and, so we downsized.
(01:05):
I bought a condo.
one level, walk-in, shower,you know, all the
handicap things.
and what aboutjoining Holy Family?
I was born and raisedin a Tecumseh so I went
to St. Elizabeth all mylife, all my sacraments.
I was baptized in theStone Church, oh, oh, downtown.
But, I I moved here andI still wanted to go.
(01:26):
That was my family.
And so I kept going eventhough it was a long
distance, but if you wantedto go more than once a
week, which I liked to do,it was a lot of mileage.
So after Easter I said,God put me here in Adrian.
I'm gonna go to Holy Family.
But really what put me overthe edge was the mission.
last year.
Father Joe.
did the mission.
And, it just, inspiredme to come here.
(01:48):
We have the otherNewman brother, so, yes, I
know, father Joe.
I love him both.
They're both They're They'reprecious.
Yes.
Yes I'm sure their motherfeels the same way, so that's
good news.
And I'm a mother, so Yeah.
so since we don't knowthat much about you,
why don't you tellus a little bit about yourself?
I was born andraised in Tecumseh.
Mm-hmm.
my parents were marriedin the Stone Church.
okay.
my older sister and Iwere baptized there.
(02:11):
there were six of us.
I'm the second of six.
we didn't have a lot ofmoney, but we never went hungry.
and we were surrounded by love.
Oh.
my parents, sentus to St. Elizabeth School,
which was a hardship for themto, get that amount of money
to do that, but they did it.
And I think that'swhat gave us our, real
base for our faith.
I think, everybody isborn with a purpose and,
(02:35):
A gift or a talent andI, learned at a young age
what my talent was.
well, the nuns didn't agree.
they, they told me to stoptalking all the time.
I have the gift of gab.
and I'm a caregiver.
at the age of 12, myolder sister had a
grand mal seizure,scared us to death.
we had never seenanything like that.
All my younger siblingsand I And my mother rushed
(02:57):
to the neighbor, got himto get his car to take
her to the hospital.
And because I was going toSt. Elizabeth, I was instilled
with the idea of prayerfirst thing.
And so I had all four of myyounger siblings on the floor,
on their knees saying therosary the entire time she
was gone to the hospital.
and after that.
I was her constant sidekick.
(03:18):
I wasn't gonna letanything happen to her.
I think that was thestart of my, caregiving, career.
The start of yourministry, right.
Of my ministry, yes.
Yeah.
So did you do caregiving for,for a career?
Yeah.
No.
I did work at HarryHospital, but I was in the
office doing paperwork.
I worked for several doctors.
Over the years doingpaperwork billings.
but I had a lot of I, I,absorbed a lot of knowledge
(03:40):
from each one of those,knowledge that really gave me
some skills, for, caregiving.
And then I nurtured them myself.
I had a lot offamily members that had, cancer.
And different reallydebilitating diseases and
I seem to be the one theyalways called, mainly
'cause I was there.
and I, I didn't mind helping.
(04:02):
It was something I was drawn todo, so.
Well that's great that youactually use your, your gifts
and talents that God gave you.
in a ministry and probablythe gift of gab, so to speak,
goes Well with caregiving.
Because a lot of itis just being present.
Yeah.
With someone.
I think most of myministries, because I'm
in several, started inmy thirties, I became
a Eucharistic ministerbecause my parents were, I
(04:23):
became a lector, because Ihad the gift of gab and I
felt lector wasn't justreading the readings, it was.
Proclaiming them.
Maybe I should have beenan actress because I like
putting more personalityor more emphasis on
the important parts.
before I get up todo my, read reading.
(04:43):
I always saya prayer, that the Lord
will open the minds of thepeople hear what they need
to hear out of this reading.
Because a reading can mean onething to you and another
thing to someone else.
But if it'sproclaimed correctly,
it will touch your soul andthat's my goal.
that's absolutely beautiful.
to hear that you praybefore you go up and do your
ministry, I think it's anideal thing and it helps
(05:05):
ease some of that, right?
Yes.
Do you ever get nervousbefore you go up?
When I first came toHoly Family, I did yes.
I go to, eighto'clock Mass at St.
Joe's because Igo to the nursing
homes right after.
But, I go toSt. Mary's during the week
too, so, I go to both.
I just, I'm really startingto feel at home and I haven't
even been here a year yet, atHoly Family.
well, if you've attendedthe parish picnic Yes.
(05:28):
if you've attended the missionand Oh, the, one of the
Christmas and Easter services.
I think that makesyou a parishioner.
Actually, I was at threeof the Christmas services.
There we go.
I was lector for three of them.
They were having ahard time getting
lectors I, know,Chris always says yes.
So you need a yes man.
Call Chris.
I shouldn't have said that.
Oh, Maybe you should bleep that.
(05:49):
gettingoh, no, we're always looking
for those people who say yes.
There's alwaysministries for them.
That's me,But I think that's beautiful
because that's truly whatwe're called to do, right?
Is to be, Yes.
the yes in the world, right?
it starts with Mary and her Yes.
And continues with ours.
And so to be open towhatever God calls us to do.
(06:10):
who else have you been acaregiver for and how has that
affected your faith?
Mostly family membersover the years.
but nursing homes,I've been done
nursing homes for 30 someodd years and, you really get
in touch with those peopleand get close to 'em.
I don't just takethem the sacraments
and say a couple prayers andleave.
(06:30):
I read Chickensoup for the soul.
Oh, yeah.
To them.
it brings up topicsto talk about.
Mm-hmm.
I read, reminisce the magazine.
Because it's old things.
they like that.
we sing.
always Amazing grace.
they all know it.
They, they don'thave to memorize it.
They know it.
I like making themfeel like their life
(06:51):
is in, somewhat of theircontrol or that someone
thinks about them.
As we get older, in the,Salesian weekly this week,
Father Joe I think it was,had an article about, come
follow me, come depend on me.
and, you know, at your endof your life or when you're
at that stage that you haveto go in a nursing home.
You have to depend oneveryone around you.
(07:12):
Mm-hmm.
And, I like givinghim a feeling of not
just, being thereand letting everyone
feed them Changethem and whatever.
I like to get them active.
So I've, I've done asmuch as, had ladies in the
church bake cookies and takethem at Christmas time and
have them frost their owncookies.
Oh, you wanna knowReally thick frosting
but they loved it.
(07:34):
I started a red Hat Club whenmy mother-in-law was
in the nursing home.
she was the secretary andI had the families buy
'em, the hat, and then wedecorated them and then
I had red Hatters comein and entertain them.
uhhuh, And I always thoughtRed Hatters was the most
useless organization aroundbecause all they do is have
fun which I guess is okay,but to me, I need a purpose.
(07:58):
And so I gave them apurpose by having them come
and, entertain the ladies atthe nursing home.
they absolutely loved that.
that.
oh, I've donecrazy things with 'em
and, and, I think it.
gives 'em more ofa self worth and
I, I think you said itbest at a time where
you don't havemuch control, Yeah.
For me, my dream is someone tojust make me dinner
three meals a day, cleanmy room, I'm there, I'm ready.
(08:21):
But, I'm also notgonna have to face that
hopefully anytime soon.
So at atime when that is your life,
everyone doing everythingfor you.
And I think with a lot of.
Women especially becausewe're ministering to
people all the time.
Yes.
And so to havethe rug pulled out from
underneath you is tough.
So what has beenyour greatest lesson
(08:42):
you have learned?
prayer really works.
I was very active in theTecumseh Service Club,
which is like your St.
Vincent DePaul.
and, I actually startedthe, habit of breaking
down the kids into a shirt,pants, socks, underwear,
three toys, pajamas, onornaments at the church.
So we took care ofmore children that way.
(09:03):
so I had three ladiesthat would help me sort
them, it never failed.
There were, Some thingsthat didn't come back or
wrong sizes, whatever.
So we would make a list andwe would go purchase them.
Well, it was three or fouryears after we started
that we decided we wouldtake turns purchasing
whatever was neededthat year because it was
never really a very long list.
(09:25):
And, so this one year camealong, I don't remember which
one it was, but, my turn.
I had absolutely no money.
I said, Chris, you said you dothis, you will, God will help
you.
Just use your credit card.
So that's what I said.
So in the morningI said a prayer.
Mm-hmm.
I says, Lord, pleasemake the list small
so I can handle this.
And We get there and we'resorting and the list is
(09:47):
growing and growing.
so I'm praying and prayingand it just keeps growing.
So I quit praying.
I must have been prayingfor the wrong thing.
So, I let it go, you know,and we got done and the
list was so long we toreit in half and one girl
took one half and I tookanother in a
cart we went to Pamidaand Tecumseh back
when they were open.
(10:07):
And we filled both carts.
That's how much we had,and we're getting in line
and there's this one ladybehind me that has one
item and I let her go infront of me.
I says, well, both thesecarts are mine, so you might
as well go in front of me.
So she does.
And she was very happy.
And we get up there andthey cashed out everything
and a bell rang.
We were the 50thcustomer and We got our
(10:30):
entire purchase free.
It still gives me goosebumps.
It gives me goosebumps.
I mean, talk about instantly.
Yeah.
Answered prayers.
Yeah.
I guess that reallyhelped me to believe in prayer.
Were you like,hold on, I gotta go get one more
cart We both stood therescreaming and
because I had told herand, and she offered to
pay for it, and I said no.
I said I would, I I will doit and the Lord will help me to,
(10:51):
pay for it.
And, the bad part was we hadto have our picture taken with
all the items and it hungon there wall for two weeks.
And I hate mypicture taken, but,
well, newsflash, yourpicture's going out far and
wide.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, dear.
don't make me more nervous,but yeah, so prayer.
I, I really believe in prayer.
I believe you'rein the spot you're
in at every moment of everyday, right where you're
(11:13):
supposed to be.
either you, willinfluence somebody else.
Or they willinfluence you but something's
happening all the time.
you talked aboutyour, family growing
up, but do you havechildren and, you had a husband,
you wanna tell us alittle bit about them?
I buried my childhoodsweetheart.
we were married 55 years.
He passed a year and a half ago.
we had three children,Mike, Sheila, and Maryanne.
(11:36):
I hope they don't mindme telling their names.
Those are some goodCatholic names too.
And, very proud of all three.
they've been very, successful,very, good Christian people,
so I'm very proud of them.
I have 11grandchildren and I have
five great-grandchildren.
So you got married at like ageseven, right?
Yeah, we're not gonna guessyour age, but it
can't be very high, higherhigher than you think I
(11:58):
try to keep moving SoI'm not getting old, but,
I don't think that's working.
they, they're making me old.
when your, when yourgrandchildren are, 35
years old, itkind of makes you, you know.
Yeah.
That would be,that would be fun.
So how do you balance family andministry?
Because you're, you'repretty active in ministries.
I always have, my, childrenwere brought up, when I
(12:21):
did the Giving Tree, oneof their gifts at Christmas
was always an ornament.
they gave that gift to a child.
they didn't have a choice.
on going to church on Sunday.
it was, get outta that bed.
You're going to church.
And I didn't have tosay it because they knew it.
and, they know thatI am unavailable on Sundays
(12:41):
until afternoon.
Because I'm at churchor in the nursing home.
they just know thatit's been so many years.
that they just know that'swhere I'm at.
So if they plan afamily, get together.
And it's on Sunday.
It has to be afternoonif they want mom there.
and, they don't seem tohave a problem with, it.
I think they're proudof, what I've done actually.
say no one noticesor, it's nothing.
(13:02):
and that's okay because wedo it not to be noticed.
But I think my greatest, Idon't know what to call
it, my oldest granddaughterwas in high School Mm-hmm.
and she had to write a paperon someone she admired.
and she wrote it onme and told all the
ministries I was in, whichquite a few 'cause you
know, it's me, and Ididn't even realize
(13:25):
she knew I did half of thesethings.
it it still brings, if Iget it out and read it, it
still brings tears to my eyes.
I, I save it in my Bible.
but, yeah.
So people do notice.
Your kids do notice.
You don't really haveto preach to 'em.
You're going to church, you'regoing to catechism, whatever,
because they seeyou do it and they do it.
Does she go to Catholicschool and she was
(13:46):
writing about that?
Or was, is itNo, it was public school
Public Teceumseh public school.
Wow.
Amazing.
Huh?
Amazing.
Yeah.
to be so outspoken aboutyour faith and someone
else's faith in publicschools, it's incredible.
I think it's probably, maybethe word would be greatest
accomplishment.
I think that was, yeah.
I don't look atmyself as anything
extraordinary.
I'm an ordinary person doingwhat gives me joy and
going to the nursing homes.
(14:09):
gives me joy.
Because I am helping them tofeel better about
themselves, aboutknowing that God's with them,
that he's always with them.
It just, gives me joy.
is there a a struggle at times'cause of the nursing home, I
imagine there's some turnover.
Oh, yeah, there's alot of turnover.
I've been to a lot of funerals.
I've planned a lot of funerals.
Funerals.
People do not want to talk totheir loved one about their
(14:31):
impending death.
so I've sat down andwrote the dress they wanna wear.
The music, they want,the readings they
would like, anywishes that they want.
I write it down And thenI put it in an envelope
with their name.
And in the event of mydeath on it.
And I put it in theirside table and it's there
for the family.
I prayevery time I do that, that,
(14:51):
they'll read it and do it, butwho knows?
I've heard many peoplesay, oh yeah, it would
be fun to go visit, youknow, or it'd be fun
to do that, but.
I'm scared.
if you could giveone piece of advice to
someone who is gonnahelp with nursing home ministry,
what do you thinkthat advice would be?
Fear sometimes is a good thing.
but I thinkof it as when I get to
(15:12):
that age and or if I amdebilitated and can't take
care of myself, whatwould I want someone else
to do for me?
And my first answer was,bring me the Eucharist.
I've received the Eucharistsince I was little without fail.
And I can't imaginebeing in a place where,
I wouldn't have that.
so to me.
(15:32):
I'm doing what I wouldwant them to do for me.
Are you also running,like a little service or do
Oh, I do a complete service.
I do the Confiteor Uhhuh.
I read the readings.
I do it a little differentthan at church because their
attention span isn't as well.
So I read one reading, wetalk about it, how it affects
them, how it, plays a part intheir life as it is right now.
(15:53):
if it's too much out of theirrealm, I don't read it.
I skip it.
and read the others.
do you give shorter homiliesthan the priests on Sunday?
'cause I'm thinking I,might come to your service.
I, mean, are we over 10 minutes?
What's the over under Oh, no.
15, It is longer.
like I said, I, have the giftof gab and I draw them into it.
I put them, I ask themquestions about it,
(16:14):
and I draw them intoIt, And, I think
that act, you know It,and forth is good.
It helps them, to connect.
we say they Our father.
I give them communion.
and then we sing songs.
Always Amazing grace.
we've been singing,here I Am Lord lately.
And, yes, Jesus loves me.
Oh, love those songs.
So, and, and wechange it up all the time, but
(16:36):
I print 'em off on mycomputer in big letters, so
they can read 'em, Uhhuh.
so they have the wordsand, they love it.
They love the singing.
and then we talk aboutwhatever, you know,
Valentine's Day, theirsweethearts, who was
their first sweetheart,things like that.
And they like thatbecause it's something
they can talk about.
they see four wallsall day long they have
(16:57):
nothing to talk about.
so, my biggest advice to otherpeople is to visit your people
in the nursing home and notduring the week when you
have the excuse that, I haveto go home, mom, because I
gotta go to work tomorrow.
go on the weekends andvisit with them, share
your life with thembecause they have nothing.
And that's, that's very scary.
(17:18):
my husband He had Alzheimer's,dementia, colon
cancer and lung cancer.
So the last 13 years have beenpretty rough.
he, went to the va and,back when, I'd say, 10
years ago probably,people at St.
Elizabeth, wheneverthey, not so much, 25
years they were married,but 50, they would
renew their vows.
(17:38):
And, so they were renewingtheir vows, quite a few of
them, several weeks in a row.
And so I said to him, onthe way home, one day,
honey, are we gonna dothat when we get to 50?
And he says, heck no.
I did it once.
I'm not doing that again.
and I thought, well, okay,I won't ask him that again.
So I didn't.
And when it got closer to our50th, of course his dementia
(17:59):
was worse.
And the kids were talkingabout, do we wanna party?
What are we gonna do?
Things like that.
And he heard them.
And, we were on our way toAnn Arbor to VA appointment.
And he says to me, so,and he waits five minutes.
'cause you know, they can'tget their thoughts together.
And I says, so what?
And he says, are yougonna call Father Dan?
(18:19):
And I says, father Dan, why?
And he says, So wecan do that thing.
And I says, do what thing?
And he says, you know,the married thing.
And I just about, Isays, oh, you wanna
renew our vows?
And he said, A definite yes.
And, and looked right atme and I thought, oh
my goodness, I almostwrecked the car.
(18:40):
I was so shocked.
And, but so we did, andit was beautiful.
he couldn't repeat all the vows,but he said the first two
lines, the important part.
I chose you thenI choose you now.
And then he couldn'trepeat anything father
said, but father said itwas okay.
But we were all standing therewith tears in our eye, you know?
It was terrible.
It wasn't terrible.
It was good but bad.
(19:00):
It was a bittersweetbittersweet moment.
Yeah.
but thenI came to the mission and
Father Joe told about acouple, or a young man that,
his parents argued and foughtall their lives.
And lo and behold, theydeveloped Alzheimer's.
well, theyhe put 'em in a nursing home
in separate rooms, and hesaid to father, why?
Every time I go there,they're sitting in the common
(19:22):
area on a couch holdinghands and watching tv.
He says, what is that?
And the priest told himIt's perfect memory.
And I'm sitting in themission with tears just
running down because I had myperfect memory.
on the way to the VA hospital.
It was, that's, thingslike that are, are,
(19:43):
I don't know.
Awesome.
back five years ago,it was Dreamland and
we were at Mass and I,noticed that he
wasn't saying the our father.
And he always said, that ourfather, we always held hands
and said the our father.
and so when we got home, Itold him, it's Lent and you
don't have to give up food.
You don't have todo anything like
that, but you should dosomething because Jesus died
(20:04):
on that cross for you and meboth.
and so every night we'regonna say, an our father,
a Hail Mary and a glorybe aloud before you go to sleep.
So every night I wouldsay those with him.
And Lent never ended,from five years ago until
the day he died the nightbefore, we said, I said mm-hmm.
(20:24):
The prayers and Lent neverLent never ended.
So, that's an idea foranybody that, has someone with
Alzheimer's, you know,they do Uhhuh, but we
don't know what their brain is.
really catching,probably a lot of perfect
memories and a lot ofnot the junk we have to
filter through.
less concerned aboutthose moments and more
concerned about living inmoment.
and perhaps it's not abad thing in some ways.
(20:46):
well Chris, I want tothank you 'cause you have
shared a lot of wisdom withus today and a lot about
caregiving, which I thinkisn't really spoken about
a true ministry that it is.
So I, I thank you for that.
And it's, how muchyou put your heart into it too.
I try not to doanything halfway.
I give 150%.
I think if you're gonna dosomething, do it right.
And, it's an important ministry.
(21:07):
think of yourselfwhen you get to that age.
How are you going to.
Well, I'm hoping cryogenics.
are on the table When I getto that age.
Okay, Okay good luck.
I don't really want cryogenics.
I'm ready to goto, to see my Lord.
it's, gotta be better upthere than it is here.
sometimes I think everyoneshould be tormented by me.
but I think that it'sa very true thing.
(21:27):
Like how would you want,I know that when I've had
loved ones in the nursinghome, visiting them can be
it can be internally painful,right?
Because you you have to lookat things that you don't
want to, but, seeingthe smile on their faces
when you walk in the dooror Is powerful.
And they know me.
at one time I had thisone lady, it was so cute.
they have a privacything at nursing homes.
So, you have to knowwho your Catholics are.
(21:49):
and, every time someonewas admitted, she
would say, are you Catholic?
Chris comes on Sundayand she was my, advocate.
she She, brought 'em in.
it was, funny and God bless her.
I had wrote all her.
funeral pans outand, Unfortunately her family
did not carry it through.
Mm-hmm.
but you know, it was, it, Yeah.
It can be very difficult, right?
(22:09):
Yeah.
I know when we went,Christmas Care Link this
year, we went through, lewayMedical, and I think we at.
We're gonna try tovisit specific people.
That was the plan.
But we eventually justwent through all the
halls, just singing.
God bless those peoplefor listening to that.
But, so, and, and theywere just smiling.
In fact, one ofthe residents came
and joined us.
(22:29):
Yeah.
and just started walkingaround the halls,
you know, so, Anyway,you can engage them
and, interact with, I mean,everyone is still our brothers
and sisters.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn'tchange whether they're
in a nursing homeor a prison, you know,
they're all god's children.
children Made in theimage and likeness of God.
We're all worshiping thesame God.
This is correct just indifferent ways.
And of course oursis the correct way.
(22:51):
But, you know.
Well, thank youagain for joining us.
No problem.
Thank you for having me.
It's really an honor.
It's been great to learn alittle more about our new
parishioner.
once again, we thank youfor joining us today.
We hope that wherever youfind an open seat in your
life, you will invitesomeone to join you.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.