Ep 85 - Building Emotional Intimacy

Episode 85: Building Emotional Intimacy

 

When people think about intimacy in marriage, the first thing that usually comes to mind is sex. For many couples, the idea of intimacy is wrapped up in romance, physical affection, or sexual connection. But in reality, true intimacy—especially emotional intimacy—goes much deeper than that.

 

In today’s episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we’re tackling one of the most misunderstood aspects of marriage: what intimacy really is, why it’s so important, and how couples can begin building it intentionally.

 

We believe one of the biggest problems in marriages today—especially in our Western culture—is that we’ve lost sight of what intimacy truly means. We often equate it with romance or sex, thinking if the physical side of the relationship is okay, the rest will follow. But that’s simply not true.

 

Romance and intimacy do form a powerful cycle—each can feed and support the other—but they are not the same thing. And when we make sex the goal of intimacy, we miss the depth of connection God designed marriage to have. In fact, misunderstanding intimacy often leads to disappointment, frustration, and emotional disconnection. Over time, that disconnection can become dangerous. It’s no coincidence that infidelity and lack of intimacy consistently top the list of reasons for divorce in the U.S. Most affairs aren’t just about sex—they’re about a longing to feel deeply known and emotionally connected.

 

So what’s the solution?

 

We believe it starts with redefining intimacy—not just by our own standards, but by God’s. A quick survey of the dictionary offers some helpful words: close, private, personal, deep knowledge. Emotional intimacy in marriage is all of those things. It’s about knowing your spouse and being known by them. It’s about vulnerability, honesty, and trust.

 

In the Bible, the phrase used to describe Adam and Eve in the garden is simple but profound: “naked and not ashamed.” That’s not just a reference to physical nakedness. It’s about being fully open, fully exposed—emotionally and spiritually—with nothing to hide and no fear of rejection. That’s the kind of intimacy God intends for marriage.

 

But here’s the key: emotional intimacy doesn’t happen by accident. It takes work. It takes intention. And it takes time.

 

In this episode, we share practical ways couples can build emotional intimacy, starting today:

 

• Have conversations that go beyond logistics—not just about work, kids, or household responsibilities, but about each other. How are you really doing? What are you dreaming about? What’s weighing on your heart?
• Talk about ideas, not just things. Discuss faith, purpose, fears, and goals. Real intimacy grows when you explore deeper waters together.
• Spend time together without distractions. Plan a date night. Take a walk. Or simply sit on the couch with no screens in front of you.
• Forgive each other quickly and completely. Nothing blocks intimacy like unresolved resentment.
• Have fun together. Laughter bonds hearts. Don’t underestimate the power of shared joy.
• Practice non-sexual touch—a hand on the shoulder, a kiss on the forehead, a long hug.
• Yes, make time for sex, but remember that in Hebrew, the euphemism for sex is “to know.” That speaks volumes about the level of intimacy God designed for the sexual relationship in marriage.

 

 

At the heart of it all, God intends for marriage to be the closest human relationship we experience. Genesis 2 paints a beautiful picture of this connection: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed.”

 

Emotional intimacy is about creating that kind of space in your marriage—whe