Fall Sucks with Carl | Opie and Carl podcast - Opie Radio

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
So then you walk all the way through these leaves
right here, and then if you go, if you walk
wait wait wait. They like stuff like this walk.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
The beach is done.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
School is back.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Westwood One dragging car. Here we go.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Another of the radio.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Sending this that to listening friends.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
I hate outside. I just like looking at times too.
Podcast once again.

Speaker 4 (00:47):
Apple picking song, that apple picking.

Speaker 5 (00:54):
I am so happy I don't have to do any
of that ship apple picking.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Fall sucks fall.

Speaker 6 (01:02):
I like fall, well, I like fall, but I don't
like all the bullshit that is associated with fall, which
is going upstate and going apple picking.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
You gotta do all that, don't you. Um, we'll do
the pumpkin picking. I don't mind the pumpkin picking. I
used to do it, and then and then my wife
caught on to me that I was fucking sloshed.

Speaker 5 (01:26):
I'd fall in the pumpkin patch, smoking cigarettes all through them.

Speaker 6 (01:32):
You're supposed to be one with nature, and you're out
there smoking cigy.

Speaker 5 (01:36):
Kids like mom, he calls pee behind that street and
everyone's freaking out.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
I got hic I got the damn hiccups again. It's hilarious.

Speaker 5 (01:50):
Oh I was so I would get a giant Dunkin
Donuts coffee, and I would it would literally be no
coffee would be full.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Kolua, What the fuck is that? And I got crushed?
What are you doing? I've turned down the volume. We
were pinning the needle. Sorry, Joey cold on guys.

Speaker 6 (02:11):
Well, when I have the zoom in my back pocket,
it kind of tends to mess with the volume.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Well, thanks for letting us know we're all listening through
your ass. Thanks Greg. Continue. I think we're good now.
I think we're at a good broadcast level. So I
used to just get all jacked up on Kolua. What
a bad dad was.

Speaker 5 (02:33):
Like, Carl me with this pumpkins, I'm falling over get
the little one. But it was annoying because it wasn't
even a real pumpkin patch. They would just lay the
pumpkins out like you're dope.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Well there you go that we go to a farm
and they do that very thing. Don't you find like
insulting intelligence? Yeah? Of course, Like don't you feel like
a complete urban idiot.

Speaker 6 (02:53):
Well, they also know that humans are lazy and they
don't want to wander around a real pumpkin patch getting
stung by and such, so they just they throw what
a couple thousand in a little corral area.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
And then and then I got Mariana take the clean one,
and I'm just screaming time my.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Head, I want out of his life. It went to
eleven like that, not that bro Oh god, I just
I got so many memories just now, that's hilarious. I
used to scream inside my head. I mean I was
internally shaking. That means you just were not into it.

Speaker 6 (03:29):
No, that just means the balance was off, because I mean,
you know, if you got small kids and you go
pumpkin pick and you'll deal.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
But there's a lot a lot to it that just
kids were on the phone. Oh really, so they were older,
so they didn't they didn't want to do it.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
Well, as soon as your kids are on cell phones,
you shouldn't be going pumpkin picking to begin with.

Speaker 5 (03:48):
Yeah, But but she would come up with this nonsense
and I'm like, nobody wants to do this. But you
would have like the one friend that would organize the
whole thing, and if you didn't go, she would talk
shit all you know, at the gym to all the
other moms. So because of this one mom who's like
super mom, right, she was like involved in everything ended

(04:10):
up she was getting crushed by.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
The black garbage guy.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Really, yeah, the perfect mom was getting buried through the
whole town.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Why does it matter that it was a black garbage man.
What do you mean? Did you said a black garbage
because I know him. The white garbage guy's not gonna
do that. Why not, He's not gonna do it. They're
scared black guys and Spanish guys.

Speaker 5 (04:31):
Really, Casanova's we'll go in the house, you know, like
you know, you know how it starts. No, you don't
know how that works. No, he walked me through the
whole thing, all right, go ahead. So she had a long.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Driveway, right, So he started by.

Speaker 5 (04:46):
Bringing the garbage cans back up to the side of
the house and he would ring the doorbell and say,
excuse me, ma'am, I brought your garbage cans. And I
guess it started like that, Thank you very much. One
day it was cold, Why don't you come in for
some coffee?

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Split her in half? Lights out.

Speaker 6 (05:06):
Yeah, So these guys are always working it out there,
that's what they do.

Speaker 5 (05:09):
They'll do a little extra for you, honey, don't worry.
I saw your recycling. It was out there, Aly, I
took it for you.

Speaker 6 (05:15):
So if they're not feeling it, they're leaving your garbage
pails right on the fucking street.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
If you drive down my town and if you see
like the garbage guy, go and clean the garbage can
and put them in the corner.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
That lady's getting buried.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
But but I would love to now drive through the
neighborhood to see like garbage cans on the street. You'll
see it tipped over with the lids in someone else's
yards because that guy.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Used to fling across the street. I don't give a
fuck unless they could get a piece. But let me
tell you, this lady's thing was pristine.

Speaker 5 (05:44):
Really used to pick up all the little things that
would fall around the garbage can.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
No kidd in. Yeah was she married?

Speaker 6 (05:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
The husband and you and you didn't rat You didn't
rat on it. I ain't no rat. I enjoyed what
I enjoyed, knowing what I knew. You didn't write on her.
I should say, I don't.

Speaker 5 (05:59):
Write on any Why would I do that. I'd rather
enjoy knowing and watching you just be fake?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
What about the guy code? There's no guy code, no ship.
That's why I said it that way, So so back
to again.

Speaker 5 (06:12):
Sorry, So that all went down. Then finally it came
out that he was like banging her, right, and the
dude calls me like can we talk because I'm like
the only street guy in the.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Town, right, And he's like, well, this happened, this happened,
this happened. He goes. I go, well, there's only one
thing you gotta do, man, you gotta get out of her.
You're done. That's it, that's it, job over, you got it.
You got to draw the line right. He goes, But
I love her, I said, conversations over. He loves her.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
He loves her, I said, conversations over. He goes, why
I don't even know what to talk to. You might
as well say you're blue.

Speaker 6 (06:43):
I don't even know right, Well, because it's a rich
town too, Yeah, is she gonna leave everything for the
garbage man?

Speaker 5 (06:49):
In the end, it looks like no offense to the garbage,
Like she's the one that had the cat shola a
white people, you never know really where the money comes
from until you start digging. So it looks like there
was a trust and she, you know, the house was
in her name, So he really didn't love her.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
He just didn't have no choice. He was gonna leave
her and go where right, he was like a funny,
he's fake, mister moms.

Speaker 5 (07:08):
Motherfucker gotcha. But I stopped talking to him because then
he's out of my squad. Right, you know, no one
could play on your grass.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Wait, so you had garbage men in your squad. I
had garbage men, I had excavation guys. I had doctors. Yeah,
you name it. Not smart. You gotta spread that ship out.
You gotta know what's going on in the streets. You
gotta have a little variety in your squad.

Speaker 6 (07:26):
So how did that lead to the pumpkin picking with
your now ex wife in her eyes?

Speaker 5 (07:31):
Well, because this is the lady that organized the whole thing.
She tried to be like missus Susie homemaker. Meanwhile, she's
the black widow of the town. And I'm not gonna lie.
When I found out that she.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Was down, Yeah, I kind of rang the door bell.

Speaker 6 (07:48):
Here's your penny saving I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
I'm not gonna lie. I felt the waters a little bit.
I found your mail on your front lawn, bring it
up to you.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
And I like I've the doorbell. I'm like, hey, listen,
I don't want to say his name. I'm like, is
he home? Like like looking for a playdate? Fuel her
out a little bit? Did she show any interest?

Speaker 1 (08:09):
I don't think so. I think she kind of knew
what I was up to.

Speaker 5 (08:12):
I don't think I was that smooth about it because
I showed up out of nowhere right. Plus, she was
probably completely fucking exhausted from this fucking garbage guy because
he was like the complete opposite of her husband.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Her husband looked like he flew pikes for a living.

Speaker 5 (08:24):
This guy was like six six fucking crazy looking dude.

Speaker 6 (08:30):
God, that is like one of my my one of
my old school fantasies when I had a paper route,
but I was too young to get anything done.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
You're surprised, you know, I wasn't mature. I was. I
was so fucking lame growing up. Man.

Speaker 6 (08:44):
I came into my own like my senior year of
high school and then and then beyond. But yeah, I'm
talking like paper out at twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and some
of not some, but there was one or two houses
where the women would come to the door when you
had it, when you had when you had to get
the you know, paid, and they would be dressed sort.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Of telling you, and they bend over us.

Speaker 6 (09:07):
And as a little kid that got boners when the
wind blew, I was out of my mind.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
But I literally had no game. But you don't need
a game. I was just showing my junk and see
what happens. Really, yeah, I mean at thirteen, at thirteen fourteen,
I didn't care. Well, then there would be the embarrassment
of her. She's not fourteen. I'm making there like sixteen, right,
I understand it.

Speaker 6 (09:28):
But then that would be the embarrassment of her looking
at you as you're showing your junk, and she.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
Just starts laughing at shotdown. Listen, for every story I
have of success, there's a thousand. I don't say a
word about.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
Really I've been shot down, Yeah, I mean laughed at
shot down, spit at spin at, spit on me once.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Why I fucking grabbed her and shit, and she got
mad at me, and you're dragging her into the woods,
and that was the only way she get away.

Speaker 5 (09:53):
I thought you said he I'd grab her that way
like we were baking out. And then I was like,
all right, I'm going to second ba right away.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
You know what I mean? I didn't, right, and she
spit at me really and that was a turn on? Right? No, No,
I get scared shit like that. You know I'm not,
and I'll go to jail for one hundred years. So
I'm like black check dealer, changing my under I don't
you know what I mean? I don't if it's on
all green lights I got. I got nothing to do
with it. There's a thousand girls out there. There's no

(10:22):
reason for you to see. I just don't understand that
world because I'm too white. What do you mean we
get away with murder Man? We really do in the
end YouTube? Right, I can't. I have My rules of
engagement are a lot lower than yours. Right, We're looking
for someone that just broke into that house. They're gonna
drag me right out of the bed. I'm like, look
at me. You think I went Yeah, of course not.

(10:43):
I'm sorry, But did you see any Hispanics?

Speaker 5 (10:46):
You see a little small guy of glasses that showed
as junk to everybody in the neighborhood.

Speaker 6 (10:50):
I'm saying Hispanic for the sake of this podcast, because
I'm doing it with Carl Ruez.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
The Cuban. But anyway, so uh yeah, the pumpkin picking.

Speaker 6 (10:59):
But if you have OCD when you're pumpkin pick it'll
drive you insane because you're you're in search. You're like,
all right, I'm in this I'm in this world for
the next couple hours with my kids.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Hours you did a couple hours. Well you gotta do
the corn maze, which is lame as fuck. You actually
went through it. The corn maze.

Speaker 5 (11:17):
I would tell my family go first. They thought I
was behind them since it was amazing they weren't looking
for them.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
I go sit in the car.

Speaker 6 (11:22):
Oh really, yeah, I went ahead and I would scare
them as it coming along around turns lightest thing you.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, but I got but I got yelled at. Not
by my family, I got yelled at by some otherfucking
excuse me, sir. We don't really condone that behavior.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
You know, there's little kids in here, and you're really
scaring people. I'm like, well, your maze is stupid. It's
it's two right turns and one left and you're on
the other side four feet high. Yeah, that'll be twenty
bucks per person, thank you. So I try to make
it a little more fun, right, you know. So you
got to do the corn Maze. You gotta do the
the hay Ride, the the Haunted hay Ride into the

(12:02):
middle of the woods with some lame ass ghost hanging
from a tree with smoke coming out.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
We went.

Speaker 5 (12:07):
We went on a good food ride at this place
called Woodlock. This was like our family vacation. This Woodlock place, right,
and it's it's like it's like from the fifties.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
They got like the guy with the electric piano playing
during the dining room and everyone eats at the same time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (12:23):
So one time we take my wife's deadbeat garbage camp
father and his ugly wife.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
She was like a lizard.

Speaker 5 (12:32):
And he's been married five times and now he's born
again Christian and in like he's like sixty years old,
but he's like it wants to be in shape and
all healthy. And so you can order whatever you want
for dinner. So I order a bowl of chili, French
fries and cheese sauce.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
And this guy's looking at him from across the table.

Speaker 5 (12:58):
With this guy and I got a drink, the drink
special it was like called the Blue Hawaiian.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
I had light up things. It came with beads and shit,
I was hammered. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (13:05):
Right, And the guy looks at me and he goes,
do you expect to live long? Why do you hate
your stuff? Why would you eat like that? I said,
we're gonna start this off by saying fuck you. And
the second thing I'm gonna say is I paid for
this whole thing. So if you're going to criticize, give
me thirteen fifty. That was your room, and you can
run your mouthful you want, okay, Jesus freak wow.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
And they sent me to my room. They sent you
to your rooms.

Speaker 6 (13:32):
Of my.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Fuck you're you're a bee. I just wanted to end
it scorched earth. Yeah, yeah, that's funny, you know.

Speaker 6 (13:48):
And then but anyway with the pumpkins, so you're you're
invested in this time at the dumb farm with the
pumpkin picking with your kids. And the wheel barrow. I
always thought it was wheel barrel. I always say wheel barrel.
It's barrow, wheel barrow.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Look it up. I'm not changing. Google that ship. I
don't care. I'm not changing. I think I think it's
a wheel barrel. Yeah, I think it's wheel barrel too.
I'm not talking. I don't care to fuck it. I
think you're right. But if you have O c D,
I have a little taste of that, A little taste,
A little taste buffet.

Speaker 6 (14:18):
It's more like an APPETIZERD towels, it's a long side.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
No no, no, it's not yo, no, no, it's not.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
It's not a trade.

Speaker 6 (14:32):
It's like it's like a shrimp cocktail.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, a little a.

Speaker 5 (14:35):
Little oysters, a couple of clams, and a couple of clams,
a few.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Giant crab legs.

Speaker 5 (14:42):
No, alas, I think that's it.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
A couple of sauce.

Speaker 6 (14:49):
But if you have a taste of the O C
D and you're at a pumpkin patch, you'll obsessed with
trying to find the you know, the perfect round pumpkin.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
But every time you turn it over to that last side,
it's always dead because these people are throwing them into
this area. No, because that's how they grow.

Speaker 6 (15:05):
Yeah, you can't find a pumpkin that's perfectly round, and
they'll drive you nuts if you try.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
And you did try, well, of course they did. And
then the kids have no concept of money. So now
my real barrel is stacked with pumpkins. The next seen
hundred thing. You know, they're like, that'll be three hundred
and twenty five dollars.

Speaker 6 (15:23):
I'm like for pumpkins, and then you can't tell the kids, like,
you know, maybe we don't need twelve.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
How about we do two with no? No, no, I
start taking shit out of here. Oh no, because at
that point lost in the beginning. Oh really, yeah, because.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
At that point they have names for each pumpkin and
they're they're really attached. Next thing, you know, we're loading
I don't know, one hundred pounds of pumpkins in the
back of my truck.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh god, yeah, I don't like doing none of that.
Well I don't have to do any of that anymore.
What about apple cider donuts though them? Leave them?

Speaker 6 (15:53):
No, apple cider donuts too, are the shit? Are the
ship they make them right away.

Speaker 5 (15:59):
But if you these fake places and they've been out
there for three days, they get a little dusty, yeah,
lily on the stale side.

Speaker 6 (16:08):
And then the assholes at the farm are like these
New Yorkers will never know.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
These things are.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
Scale, you know, and you could tell like I've seen
I saw one of the biggest scammers. The donuts were
literally from last fucking Halloween, and this asshole was going.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Dump them in the hot side, and all the dumpy Yorkers.

Speaker 5 (16:25):
There's a bunch of people and I'm watching them dumping
these stale doughnuts and the hot side and looking at
each other big eyes.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Wow, what a difference. And then they'll say ship like
you know, freshly baked, they just came out of the oven.

Speaker 6 (16:38):
But you want to get we don't want to dunk it,
just to get the full flavor a little.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
That's how we do it up here at the farm.

Speaker 5 (16:45):
Fuck dumb city boats, all dumpy and the same like,
oh this is really just watch it in the minute
it hits fluid and rehydrates and crumbles into the side.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
That's why.

Speaker 6 (16:54):
Then you bring a dozen home, because you're like the
one you had up there at the farm tasting you.
Then you bring a dozen papers you bring it doesn't
stale ones home.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
They laugh at every city fucking guy, and they love it.
They take advantage of everything.

Speaker 6 (17:08):
I've been to the ones where you have to pay
for parking really well, that's why I mean fall activities
in general suck because everyone goes on three or four
different weekends.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
It's crowd as fuck. People are all miserable. They can't
find parking. Uh, But anyway, in the corn maze, and
you can hear people's phones with the football game, like.

Speaker 7 (17:28):
Some miserable guy who fucking works all week and his
wife wants to be Martha Stewart and he's got he's
got one day off and he's got to go with
these ungrateful kids and his shitty wife.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
He's so big, doesn't even fit in the maze.

Speaker 5 (17:44):
I can't feel the size of a maze and all
hear is giants down at the two.

Speaker 6 (17:49):
I actually would like to go to a real corn
maze where it's hard as fuck.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Oh, you gotta go to Pennsylvania, hard as fuck.

Speaker 6 (17:55):
And they don't they don't play because the ones we
go and it's like when you got your kid sidedly
saying I found the exit and you're like, wow, what
a big fucking surprise.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Like cold and shivering. Right anyway, So this.

Speaker 6 (18:08):
Started because you tweeted uh an article about apple.

Speaker 8 (18:13):
Picking and eleven things that suck about apple It sucks,
and I read it and I was laughing my ass
off because this very thing happened when we went strawberry
picking over the summer.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
What are you looking at a little text from somebody. Oh,
let me see what you got there. I don't want
to see this. Let me see what you got don't
say I'll wait, what the that's my life? Are you insane?
Let's move on. Can I say what I just saw?

Speaker 3 (18:47):
No?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
What the fuck.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
You said? You're whatever? Anyway? What holy shit?

Speaker 6 (19:02):
I gotta explain something for the podcast. That's quite the
text from a young lady.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, cutey man. Yeah, it's a cutie. You're doing well.
You're doing what you're doing well because I'm doing well.
I have to get rid of one, right, one got weird? Well,
how many you got in the stable? I'm fitting out
the stable for the winner, thinning out the stable for
the winner, so you can hibernate a little bit. You
gotta hibernate in the winter. I did a lot of
damage in the last couple of weeks. Yeah, good, you're

(19:27):
good for now.

Speaker 5 (19:28):
Everybody's mad at everybody. See when you go scorched to earth. Yeah,
you have to stop and then reinvent yourself.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Well.

Speaker 6 (19:36):
The one thing about Carl, I I know when you've
had it when you go dark all of a sudden,
you'll go dark for thirty six hours.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Like for you to go dark on on social media
for thirty six hours.

Speaker 6 (19:47):
I'm like, Okay, he's got a fucking he's got.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
To power down. I just saw the text. You gotta
power down for a little while. Power down and hide.
It looks like you you hide. I do hide. It
have been coming and handy. I saw you feeding deer
the other day in the creepy cabin. They woke me
up this morning.

Speaker 5 (20:05):
Really, they hit the glass because they hit Yeah, they
wait for me every day.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
They hit the plexi glass because they know you got food.
And then I come out and them.

Speaker 6 (20:13):
Because I saw your video on your Twitter or your
Instagram whatever, and they come up close.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Deer don't like coming up close to humans. Manat you
got them trained. They like the bread. They really like bread.
They like corn muffins, they like they whatever. They just
like I do.

Speaker 6 (20:28):
Right.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
They were bagels and locks me and them. They like
fenders from a Ford.

Speaker 6 (20:39):
Or I would assume, because there's a lot of them
dead on the side of the road.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Especially this time of year. But anyway, so back to
the apple pic. I want to throw your phone away
because I would jar you.

Speaker 6 (20:50):
No, because I've told you in the past when I
see ship that will make for great radio or podcasting.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
It drives me insane that I can't like exploit it.
I got it. I'm a sick person.

Speaker 6 (21:02):
I'm not really a sick person, but when it comes
to this, I am like, in my regular life, I
understand why maybe we don't go there, but when we're
podcasting or doing radio.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
I'm like, fuck, we gotta talk about that.

Speaker 6 (21:11):
But anyway, the thirteen things to hate about apple picking
made me laugh my asshof because over the summer we
did the strawberry picking.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
And it was the same shit that was in this article.
The strawberries is the biggest sham. Why you can't really
go to a strawberry patch.

Speaker 5 (21:24):
They're all intertwined, so they just throw these dead roots
of fucking No.

Speaker 6 (21:30):
No, we we actually were pulling them off bushes, but
they're a tangled mess. Because when you go strawberry picking
or apple picking, when you see it in the movies
or in a magazine, it looks like the coolest fucking thing.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
Catch a question, Yeah, you don't know how to cook.

Speaker 6 (21:46):
I know how to cook, not too obviously, obviously. No,
I know how to cook, but strawberries, Oh well.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
I mean you're not good. This is a good road
for you. Every fruit that you pick and what do
you do? No, this is not gonna go out for you. No,
it's emporizing.

Speaker 6 (22:08):
You can see this because over the summer we went
strawberry picking and then okay, good, so you know you.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Have the strawberry. I'll explain all it now, what the
to do? Let me walk through this.

Speaker 6 (22:16):
So and then we went raspberry picking on the same
day because that was the next all dog.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
And read for your hands from killing the raspberries. It's
oh really, but it's unbelievable.

Speaker 6 (22:25):
So, first of all, strawberries are a tangled mess. There's
nothing fun about it, like you're seeing a movie or
in a magazine. The kids are really into it, so
they're just picking the shittiest strawberries. They don't know the
difference between a good strawberry and a bad strawberry.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
You say, magazine. So I've been I've been in magazine
shoots where they do like the picking thing. Yeah, So
what they do is they snip everything before the photo,
so they cut half of the plant away so that
it looks like it's all strawberry. Yea, it looks beautiful,
but when you're there, it's a hundred pounds of fucking
green and then one fucking.

Speaker 6 (22:54):
Piece of yeah, yeah, and half the strawberries are on
the fucking ground spiders because they love them. Yeah, because
you got the you gotta city people that are just
trudging through these things.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
They don't give a figure sandwiching strawberry juice. Let's get
our strawberries. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 6 (23:09):
But the farms have figured out how to make the
average person do their work, so they so now you know,
inside of the road, pick your own strawberries. Sounds like
a great fucking thing to do, but the reality is
it stinks, and you got to walk really far because
everyone's lazy. So if there are any strawberries close by,
they're all picked already, and they will point, like you.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
See that fucking tractor. You can barely see the tractor
in the distance. You know, you might want to go there.
It's like that's a.

Speaker 6 (23:35):
Half a mile away, man, Okay, And then you get there,
and and if you have little kids, they're gonna just
pick any strawberry. They don't know the difference between a
ripe one and a shitty one. And the next thing
you know, you bring this giant basket of strawberries back.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
To the farm and the charge and they weave, yeah,
and half of them are white.

Speaker 6 (23:54):
Some some have like an ant family living, right yeah yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Hold on, so I just gotta finish this.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
So and then I'm sitting there like, look, do the
family have fun?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do we have fun? Yeah? I can't, I can't lie.

Speaker 6 (24:08):
But now we're paying like a ridiculous amount of money
to do the farmer's work. And they tease you because
right next to the strawberries, they know you're.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Not gonna be happy with what you picked.

Speaker 5 (24:18):
They had fresh, like fresh, like yes, perfect.

Speaker 6 (24:25):
Washed, right, you know, just ripe as could be. So
what you end up doing is you pay for your
shitty strawberries, which are overpriced what you had to do
the work for.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
And then now you're feeling like like you didn't do,
you know, a proper job.

Speaker 6 (24:40):
So now you're you're taking a couple of their strawberries
that they already have picked.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
On the side. You gotta be a millionaire of that
fucking lifestyle. What do you mean that's expensive? People don't
realize it's so much as going to Yankee.

Speaker 5 (24:51):
Game, taking those kids to that thing, right right, it's
a couple of hundred dollars when you're done a couple hundred.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
To go to a baseball game. No, I'm saying to
go out picking, of course.

Speaker 6 (25:02):
And then the same thing with the raspberries we brought.
I can't even tell you how many raspberries and strawberries
we brought home. And then you can only eat them
for two or three days before they all start going bad.
Then you try to free some of them, and then
you put the pancakes jam.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Why wouldn't you make jelly?

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah? I don't know, Martha Stewart, how you make a jim?

Speaker 1 (25:25):
That's what I do? Really well? You went to France
to learn how to do that. I've learned on twenty
third Street. I went to try to see it. Do
this for God him, Julia, we make a jelly today?

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Why don't you just make a gym? Okay, where do
you start?

Speaker 1 (25:43):
But anyway, wait, there's another you know, Oh my god?
Can I read that one?

Speaker 6 (25:52):
So now there's how you lead me into it. What
this person texted h Carl back?

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Can I say? It's a female obviously?

Speaker 6 (26:01):
And then she now wrote this one I can't read,
and then you wrote, oh MG to that one. But
I can read the next one, which just simply says, yeah,
don't look in your garbagel, what the hell.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Is in your garbage? I don't know. I'll leave it
a Cali on Monday. I don't know anyway.

Speaker 6 (26:25):
So, uh so the apple picking is the same ship
that article you you tweeted, which is hilarious.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
This is the best articles I ever read. Why what
did you like about this?

Speaker 5 (26:35):
Is just because someone had to say it, like it's
a scam.

Speaker 6 (26:38):
Yeah, we went apple picking. I think last year we
went a little late. It was overcrowded. They're like the
apples left on the last row of trees. So now
we walk another half mile trudging through all these people
that are miserable, like what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Oh, apples are.

Speaker 6 (26:54):
All over the place, and they're you know, people are
stepping on them because they're the ones that fell off
the tree weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
And they all are filled with yellow jackets because yellowjackets
love apples.

Speaker 6 (27:04):
And then we get to the last row there's no
fucking apples left on the trees, but the farm people
don't give a fuck. Now you got all these rich
city people on all fours trying to get their money's worth.
So now they're crawling around trying to find apples that
are still kind of good that are on the fucking ground.

Speaker 5 (27:20):
About how frustrating that, right, And people do it every
day and these farmers laugh all the way to the bank.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
It's smart on their part, right, But.

Speaker 5 (27:27):
It's people wanting this idyllic lifestyle, you know what I mean.
And that's the biggest problem. My biggest problem with being
when I was married was that my wife wanted the
fantasy of life and didn't want to really deal with
the reality.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Everything had to be for everybody else, and the house.

Speaker 5 (27:47):
Had to look a certain way and we had to
do certain things too.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Thanksgiving, I'm like, I don't want a fucking turkey. I
like turkey no time riv No one likes turkey.

Speaker 5 (27:56):
She's like, well, we gotta have a turkey, says who
My brother Brett.

Speaker 6 (27:59):
He was the one that finally stepped out and said, look,
if we're having Thanksgiving in my fucking house, I'll put
a little turkey on the side. But we're doing prime rib,
doing ribs, We're doing steak. That's that's what I want,
because in the end, no one likes turkey, or you'll
be eating it all year long. We all make believe
we like turkey, and everybody suffers.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Because no one's else have a fucking maker, right. I
went to this house once and I walk in, I
smell the smell, and I'm like, please don't tell me.
This is what I think it is. And there's a
certain smell to wild turkey when it's being cooked, So
this is it gaming.

Speaker 5 (28:34):
It tastes like you you're banging a goat.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
That's not good.

Speaker 6 (28:39):
Good.

Speaker 5 (28:42):
So I walk in the house and I smell this
musk of animal and I go to the lady. I said,
what is in there? She goes, we ordered it from
South Dakota. This is the original strain of American turkey.
I said, that's a giant rat. Is what you're cooking?

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Brown? Thin, no chest? Oh my god. She's like, I
hope you like it, Chef. I'm like, I'll tell you
right now. I'm not gonna I'm not chef, right.

Speaker 5 (29:13):
And these people suffer, Oh, this is the original Indian
stuffing was like dried corner and I'm like, boo.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
So what They're trying to have a real traditional Thanksgiving?
Like the way? You know how awful that was. It
had to be one of the worst meals you ever had,
horse meals ever had?

Speaker 5 (29:30):
So that's what my whole thing with everything was, why
can't we just do what we want to do?

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Why can't we live the way we want to live? Right?

Speaker 5 (29:37):
You know, I said, listen, you know I want to
open a big restaurant, And why do we have to
have this giant house.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
We don't need it. These kids are stuck in their
room all day.

Speaker 5 (29:46):
They don't use the The only time they use other
rooms is when there's is full of garbage. They transferred
to another room to fill it up with the garbage, Right,
I said, why do we have to live with this?

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Right?

Speaker 6 (29:55):
But she was just trying to put out a vibe,
vibe for the rest of the neighborhoo for the So
she was competing with everybody.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
But she can't with those people. These are like ponzied
up chalum Chatham people. Then if they come out they
pulled out ship like I'm like, did you see Brandon,
They got a fucking unicorn over there?

Speaker 6 (30:11):
You can do you can't compete with the family.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Once. The thing with the with the people in Chatham
is their old legacy money.

Speaker 5 (30:19):
So every time an uncle would die, they would get
an infusion.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Of like a million bucks, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (30:24):
Whereas if my uncle dies, I have to pay for
the funeral because they're not to leave them outside.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
On the back. So no one really works.

Speaker 6 (30:31):
And no one really that's like old school money Chatham,
New Jersey.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
So I went the other day my buddy who moved
to South Carolina. He's like the ring leader. So me
and him were like Starsky, hutch and Chatham. Right, we'd
go to the bars.

Speaker 5 (30:43):
We're the ones that they had the poker games and
threatened people and you know what I mean, Like we
had our own litle thing. So the other day they're
all like, hey, he got back from North South Carolina.
He's like, hey, we're all going to meet up at
the River Grill. River Grills, like the Little I part
in Chadow, which really isn't a fucking dia, but it
is for them.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
Right, So I take my date, who's like twenty five
years old, brand new out of the dealer. Not she's
still young. She don't even have dimples yet.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
She still has that clean car, brand new bring.

Speaker 5 (31:23):
I have to take the plastic was still on the mats,
no leaking flaps.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
This thing is minty perfect temperature. Oh god, I sit
next her. We looked at still works. I swear to god.
I standed next to her and I looked. We looked
at each other in the mirror. It looked like I
had cancer. I'm like, just the king, old guy. Looks
like we're gonna have to change the fuel pump.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Looks like it's gotta gotta tag bad gas.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
It's gotta take a back gass. None of that, none
of that, none of that. I mean, she still smelled
like peas brand new anyway. Uh, I show up.

Speaker 5 (32:00):
So it's a bunch of like fifty year old dudes
and then me and uh and this girl's like twenty five.
And it was just like the ocean's parted with all
their money and stuff. There's nothing like youth, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Like these guys planes.

Speaker 5 (32:16):
And this, and they just they couldn't help this girl enough.
She dropped the napkin. Three of them hit their heads
trying to get the napkin and like, and she was like,
oh yeah, my friend, we went to this concert and
he fell. That was the whole story, right, And these
guys are top of their game. Harvard, did I hear

(32:38):
that you fell?

Speaker 1 (32:40):
I'm like boom, oh my god, and like they ordered different.
That was you want to see something funny.

Speaker 5 (32:48):
She shamed six dudes into being dudes again, right, So
she said, let.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
The lady order first, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (32:54):
And then she's like, I want the nachos with steak
and the jalapena poppers beautiful. And they all look at
each other and I'm like watching him like I was
gonna at the Seesar topic.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
I'm gonna get the.

Speaker 5 (33:06):
Wings, like I want the Texas.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Roadhouse double Burger, and the other.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
Guy's like i want the Diaglo chips, like everybody what
they did not want to eat because if she wasn't there,
they would all got the chicken Seesar salad wraps.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Of course, because there's so fifteen soft. All sudden they
realize they have to order like teenage girls, and they're
all fucking, let's do a shot at Jabo. I'm like,
what is going on? Round of jabos Yo, round the
jams for the kids, whoo, you know what I mean.
And then.

Speaker 5 (33:38):
We went back and we were partying at one of
the Kay's houses and he's so rich that his whole
deck has their remote control that you press it and
it luvered the whole the whole roof of the deck
loovers open and closed nice and it's unbelievable. And she's
sitting there playing with the remote. This thing must be
one hundred thousand.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Dollars and every and he's shaking because it's gonna break.
And she says, open clothes, open clothes, and nobody says
a word. But if it was me or us, yes,
stupid the lovers, right, but nothing like twenty minutes. Everyone
was sucking erb er erb and not a fucking word.
That's classic and that's real life. Man.

Speaker 5 (34:19):
It was unbelievable, and it was so it was so funny.
It was just it was it was funny to see
them go. You know, I shocked him back into like dude, right,
you know what I mean. Like we're leaving the bar,
so I'm walking down the front and then one guy
has like an Audi right, and like he sees us
and he's like tries to gun it.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
It's like it's got traction control and everything's like like
trying to show off his little sports car, but he
doesn't know how to launch it. So he's like he's
looking at the girl. He's shaking in his car. There's
a little vinger vines.

Speaker 6 (34:51):
On trying to be cool and leave that high society
shit behind for the afternoon.

Speaker 5 (34:57):
I know they were trying, and it was just fun.
It was funny, man, it was funny. Back to the house,
she's like, do you guys have any fireball? She's like,
we can get it right away. And then the wife
comes home. What are you guys doing back here?

Speaker 1 (35:13):
All of a sudden, it looks like a fuse.

Speaker 5 (35:14):
And then the wife comes and she's like, maybe in
her late forties, right, I mean smoke show in her
own right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
She just came from the gym. We're doing shots of fireball,
and this one's playing with the louvers. She's got some
leaky training fluid. Well you know it. Car has been
hit a couple of times a couple They might they
might have a new front end.

Speaker 5 (35:35):
It looks like they did. They redid the front face
shot right. It looks like he's got a new aftermarket
spoiler on the chin right there. So she's like, high
high Hi. I've never seen when women don't react well
to other women they don't know, especially in their house.
So this one's just brand new out of the dealer
and you just see this, you know, lady that's been

(35:57):
doing tibo for six hours, you know, just so she
can eat that muffin, right, and she sees this one
just naturally.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Just eating whatever. She's still eating bugles, and she's been
eating since we got there.

Speaker 7 (36:10):
And all the dudes, like on the outside freighter are
candilev towards her.

Speaker 5 (36:14):
So it's like six dudes and she's like sitting there
and they're all like holding court, right, and she just
comes in and jest, everything change and this is your
girl or for me so, but they don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's your girl. There's there. They're all trying to make
a move, right, everybody's always trying to make a move. Unbelievable, everybody.
That sounds exhaustive. Oh it's not not, because you'd let it.
If it happens, it happens. Go get another one, Go
get another one. Seriously, you can't keep something that's not yours.
That's a problem with dudes. You gotta. Girls are very easy.

(36:46):
If you earn them, they'll stay. If you keep them busy,
they're fine. But if you don't keep them busy, they're
gonna go somewhere else, just like we do. That's hilarious.
So just don't try to own anybody. But what happened,
they make it. You just keep moving, just moving on,
just moving on.

Speaker 6 (37:03):
What else about the uh, the apple picking?

Speaker 1 (37:07):
It was the mud. It was the mud is the worst.
It was the yellow jacket jacket. It was the rotting
apples on the ground.

Speaker 6 (37:14):
It was doing the farmers work for them. Yeah, I'm
kind of glad that somebody finally called out that that bullshit.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
It's the best, man, it's it's it should stop. Can
I ask you something else? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (37:29):
Pumpkin yeah, flavored everything, right, it's horseshit.

Speaker 5 (37:33):
Yeah, no one likes that. It's not even they don't
even use pumpkins to flavor anything.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
It's just a chemical, is it really?

Speaker 5 (37:38):
Yeah, everything that has a pumpkin flavor, Yeah, it doesn't
really taste like pumpkin.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
You ever eat a pumpkin, It tastes nothing like pumpkin spice. Terrible,
it's terrible.

Speaker 6 (37:46):
I mean around Halloween, you know, my relatives want to
cook up the pumpkin seeds and I hate and then
we all have to make believe once a year that
this is actually a delicacy.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
It's not but like poop.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
It's hard.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, they throw it on a cooking chick A deal.
Salt them, yeah, salt them, of course. You put salt
on up and thenone to you want like a fing.
I put a little bit of barbecue.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
Oh, shot up.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
You're a hack if you put enough salt on poot's.
I mean, what do you want?

Speaker 6 (38:18):
You know?

Speaker 5 (38:18):
What I did was I went to A and P
and I got Montreal steak seasoning.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
They're my famous baits. I just want to throw them
out into the street.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
I got the recipe from Nana.

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Manna used to make these while she bled out in
the kitchen for you to entering.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Kids are Halloween tradition.

Speaker 5 (38:38):
You did this before she died because we didn't feed
her for a mother in her room.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
You can take her money.

Speaker 6 (38:44):
Anything you eat only once a year sticks, or you'd
be eating it all year long.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
If so, you've been turkey of that category.

Speaker 6 (38:50):
All that pumpkin spice, latte, horses show echoes together, it's
all garbage.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
I agree, I agree. And what's the chemical they used
to make it? A quote tastes like a petroleum syrup.
It's oil like a car, like for a car. Really. Yeah,
it's in car oil. Yeah, and it's in everything and
you can smell it because it's an oil. It's like
a perfume. It's disgusting.

Speaker 6 (39:11):
When they break out the pumpkin pie around Thanksgiving, I'm like, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
We stop, let's all stop.

Speaker 6 (39:17):
We get a black There's not enough whipped cream I
could put on top of this too.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
That's another thing, this switch. How good was the pie?
I guess it's amazing, amazing. I got eye cancer from
the ready.

Speaker 6 (39:29):
Remember when I was talking about poo and salt. You
put enough fucking whipped cream on a piece of pood.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
It's not good. Pumpkin pie is not good. Like, can
I just have the apple pie? Yes? Thank you?

Speaker 5 (39:39):
Apple pie all year round? Right, Yeah, it's good, and
don't funk with it. Pumpkin pie is garbage.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Just make apple pie basic. That's its a special crust,
the lattice crust. Eh, make the pie. Find your business.
That's mind your business, mind your fucking un your business
with the little artwork. Make sure you know. What I
don't like is when they when they do the crossover

(40:05):
crust that you could see the apples.

Speaker 5 (40:06):
Yeah, Well, the problem with that is, then I don't
have enough crust to put my ice cream on.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
So I like a standard pie.

Speaker 5 (40:14):
What do when people make the designs and the leaves
that you can see through the lattice the lattest word.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, I understand, But why can't you put your ice
cream on top of that ship?

Speaker 5 (40:20):
Because what happens is the ice cream dissolves there's not
enough crust on the outside.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
What do you doing? You're showing you junkion ship? Mike's here?
What's up, mikey?

Speaker 6 (40:31):
I guess if we should explain, we're we're podcasting in
our new lounge here Westwood Want that they built for us.
It's it's tiny, but it's awesome, brand new couches, a
nice little coffee table.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (40:44):
And then because uh, we don't have decorations yet, we
have a poster of the North Dakota State.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
North Dakota State. Right, that's North Dakota State.

Speaker 6 (40:56):
Yet when they won the national championship, what year did
they win the national champions Do you know that?

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Mike? It's like the Division two championship. Oh it's Division two,
it's not even Division one one? Why is this thing? Frame?
It's in a beautiful frame minute.

Speaker 6 (41:10):
And it's a bunch of football players celebrating their Division
two title.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
That can't be real. Oh my god, creepy basement.

Speaker 6 (41:20):
I would love to It has the Westwood one logo,
So I guess maybe they maybe they broadcasted the Division.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Two championship the Dakota game boom. And why did Robert field?
We needed a decoration on the wall. This was Robert.

Speaker 6 (41:35):
Wouldn't this place work without the big giant North Dakota
State poster on the wall.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Then Carlos took it down.

Speaker 6 (41:47):
Carl took it down.

Speaker 5 (41:52):
He's gonna come back. I just want to say, how
like you'll be like, oh, did that guy did that?

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Fall? I got it? I got it first.

Speaker 6 (42:00):
Oh you thought it was a TV No, it's just
a giant, beautifully framed poster of a team. No.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
I don't even I would. I would bet if you
took a poll in North Dakota. They don't even give
a fuck. And there's a guitar there signed by everybody.
That's nobody. Yeah, who signed the guitar in the hallway?
Told me to Mike, who's that? Yeah, bring the guitar in,
Bring the guitar? What else about Fall?

Speaker 6 (42:26):
Karl I guess that's the theme of this podcast. We
went with the apple.

Speaker 9 (42:29):
Picking, the pumpkin flavored, the strawberry pickings.

Speaker 5 (42:33):
This is when the girls start wearing the ugs and stuff.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
I like the yoga pants with the hace. You know
what Jim Brewer said about yoga pants. Oh that's good, Carl.
Oh my god, you just smeared or what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Put that back?

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
I used to say had a little. Now it says er,
you gotta have vic helly here you'll tell.

Speaker 6 (43:05):
You whe Oh my god, there's no a or p
left on that. Jim Brews said that yoga pants is
sexual harassment.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
What do you mean?

Speaker 6 (43:15):
Just how they walk around like that, the women walking
around in yoga pants, it's absolutely insane. At this point,
I'm not saying I love them.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
I'm not gonna say that. No, he loves them too,
but it's all it's the best thing that's ever happened.

Speaker 6 (43:27):
But older guys we lose their minds over that, you know,
the young kids, don't.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
I think the young kids they're asexual.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 6 (43:36):
Because if you're an older guy and a girl walks
by and yoga pants, you'll collapse you'll take a knee.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
I've seen some fuck that trump shit. You'll take a knee.
You'll take a knee, right beautiful.

Speaker 6 (43:49):
But you'll see like guys in their late teenagers or
early twenties, same girl walks by the yoga pants. They
don't even fucking get what that is. They're too busy
on their own or something, or they take that for
I don't know, they take it for granted.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
I guess is the word I was looking for you.
I don't know what young kids are doing, but that's
more for me. I don't care what. I don't care
if they just won't make out with each other, I
don't care. I'm out.

Speaker 6 (44:13):
I love walking Times Square and you'll see the young
couples and there's a guy where the girl is a
smoke show and you look at the guy like you
have no fucking idea that it's never gonna get better
than this moment. So you should really understand what you
got as you walk through Times Square right now.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
It's a sad way of thinking. It's the truth, though,
I cant hotter girls now then when I was in
high school, do you fuck yeah? Good for you, bruh.

Speaker 6 (44:40):
In high school, I was all volume. What do you
mean you just would do anything. I said no to nothing,
no to nothing.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
No nothing.

Speaker 5 (44:47):
I had paid off in spades, while a lot of
these ugly ducklings just turned out to be hot smoke
shows in your thirties.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Now I'm harvesting all the niceness that I was in
high school.

Speaker 6 (44:57):
I'm harvesting I learned early on I was going down
that road for the first time that every once in
a while, saying yes to a no was.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
A good time. I said yes to everything. So you
don't even understand that concept, because everything was a yes
for you. I don't everything. I can't think of me
saying no, right, And.

Speaker 6 (45:14):
Then your friends would make funny and you would be like,
you have no idea, how great?

Speaker 1 (45:18):
Like what did you do last night? Do you know?
I was hugging by a ladder? I got slack marks
on my chest? Wen't you drinking some bears? Friends of
the tracks? Loser? Oh that's a good I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
Lie to you.

Speaker 6 (45:36):
The ugly ones put in a little extra effort from
time to time, A little.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Extra effort, are you kidding me? A little extra cank,
a little little extra something something I don't want to
I don't want to be gross. But there's this.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
Girl down the shore and nobody wanted to touch her
for what reason?

Speaker 1 (45:53):
She was ugly and in what way? Every way, Like
from head to.

Speaker 5 (45:58):
Talk, thick glasses is weird. But from what I can
from what I can see, no weird. Just it just
didn't work out.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Everything was weird. Was it flat on one side? It
was just lumpy?

Speaker 5 (46:12):
It was lovely, exactly, small booths from small booths big
I mean all the badness right, no chin, right, you
know what I mean? Big glasses or ears were weird,
Like one was like chewed up a little.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Bit thinning hair, oh my goal.

Speaker 5 (46:32):
And I mean she was on the paint on my list,
And I said, but beauty.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Is skin deep.

Speaker 5 (46:39):
Yeah, her, her beauty went a little deeper than maybe
down to the epidermis.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
But anyway, but my theory, sorry, we'll get back to that.

Speaker 6 (46:49):
Yeah, but I hate the people that, like, you know,
I think we all look for something that's beautiful and
then you hope that you have a personality and the
rest of them match.

Speaker 10 (46:58):
Their looks, And to think the other way is completely
ridiculous in this society anyway, Like those big, fat, fucking
models on all these magazine covers now, but they're not
beautiful to me, and I.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
Should I don't think, and I should be able to
say that I like the girl, but so just say,
oh my god, Like, how dare you judge? I'm like,
you're on the cover in a in a giant bikini.
I'm not supposed to judge this, Like I like those girls.

Speaker 5 (47:23):
But when I see models in real life, like in Miami,
like the real like big skull ones, they look like
I don't. I don't find that I'm attractive at all.
I'm one with you, like all those neck like how
do you got nine neck bones?

Speaker 6 (47:35):
Right?

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Crazy? That you look like skeletons. Their figure is like
a diving board. Yeah, like I don't like right down,
I don't like that.

Speaker 6 (47:42):
With nice eyes, it's like, okay, beautiful face and then
death body.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Right, I mean what am I gonna do with that?

Speaker 6 (47:50):
And yeah, and then you're just trying to do a
triple Lindy off the off her bodies and then one of.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Those bones that they have done, you hit one of
those sideways.

Speaker 6 (47:59):
Yeah, come on, Charlie Horse, what is thatones?

Speaker 3 (48:03):
Right?

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I hit one, Charlie Horse. I had taken me for
a second. No good, No way though. It's like hitting
a sprinkler. Yeah, when you're in the playground exactly. Funk
is this put that there stuff like to on a
sprinkler phone. I'm just trying to play touch football?

Speaker 3 (48:25):
What the was that?

Speaker 1 (48:26):
Playing touches?

Speaker 3 (48:27):
Man?

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Brok my tongue. But all of a sudden they protrude
a little and you're like, did you get hit with one?
What the fuck? We should be some patting there on
top of that ship. Put a little diving warning sign
or something. So anyway, anyway, back to your story. The
shore girl was a mess, right, Yeah, I decided, you
know what, I'm gonna give this kid a shot. And
she was. I mean, she would have got with anybody

(48:48):
this week. I mean it, it wasn't that much work.

Speaker 5 (48:51):
But I started talking to her nice in the kitchen,
and I said, we started drinking and then I but
I treated her just like I would have shoot, you know,
because she saw me playing around all summer, so she
knew what I ama. Most My mamma was taking a
walk on the beach, you know, I mean, doing that
whole thing. And then what I would do is they
would turn the lifeboats over at night so I would

(49:12):
dig a hole like a little fucking sonage the hedgehog,
and then go under the boat with the girl that
was mymo and I already had towels under the boat
ready to go.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
That is an awesome move.

Speaker 5 (49:22):
Yeah, So I'd leave the party and I already had
my little hole dug out by the thing, and I
was all set. When would you dig the hole by
the way during the day, During the day, I got
six o'clock when there when they when they would tap out.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
I knew all the guys though. I knew everybody. They
knew when I was. Now you're digging, Yeah, setting up
your layers, setting up my layer, the stabbing cabin. It worked.
It can't tell you it did never not work.

Speaker 5 (49:44):
That is a great move, strong, strong move right right,
And then we'd go.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
I took her under. I had to readjust the whole
a little bit for this one. She got a little
chance up.

Speaker 5 (50:00):
I'm thinking behind cancer and says she's pulling.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
A whinny the poo on you like the boat starting
to move up, Poor witty the boo. You can't get
into your stabbing, not loing. I have to adjust the
whole little bit a little bit little bit, a little bit,
keep the feet of stuff, saying so we can make
it all work.

Speaker 5 (50:19):
And then we get down there and then I start
making alder and stuff, and she's huffing and puffing like
she's into it.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Big voice, wow, big girl, noises.

Speaker 5 (50:33):
Big and she's hitting her back on the shape of
the boat. She's all you can eat. She's at the corral,
red lobster. She's like, give right, so stupid red lobster.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
But I get in the zone and then it's like
anything else, you know what I mean. Let me tell
you something, this girl, it was nice in the end. Best.
She went and gave me a little kiss downstairs. Right.

Speaker 5 (51:07):
It was so intense. I thought my toenails were growing,
that's how much I was cringing. She was incredible. I
come back to the pint and go, ah, you're a
bunch of idiots. That's a machine right there.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
And it didn't help that, and it didn't hurt that.
It was pitch dark.

Speaker 5 (51:27):
No, you could see your once your eyes adjusted, it's
pretty bright on the beach under the boat though.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Under the boat, yeah you could still see. Yeah, yeah,
because the hole was so big at.

Speaker 5 (51:35):
This point, the mood, you could see the whole you can.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
See the whole moon. I could literally see people walking by.
Oh my god, but she was.

Speaker 11 (51:50):
And then after that you drop her back off under
the boardwalk, chummed her out, but so she can hang
out with daddy, so no, so listen.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
So that was it.

Speaker 5 (52:05):
And then after that, you know, I told the story
and I told my buddies, like, yo, listen, man, that
girl Gina, Bro, you should you should check that out.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Bro, I'm telling you. I said, you guys are missing
it on something here. Yeah. Did other others go there,
just didn't know how to deal with it. They didn't
want to deal They tried, but they're too proud. And
then that became like my my Sunday night before I
went home. Every every every weekend was phenomenal.

Speaker 6 (52:32):
Ill with the same one, same one, and you still
think of her. She was that good, good for you.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
You know, she was like one of these like you
know that or that I respect right there. She was awesome.
I respect that ship. She was great and she was
having a good time and I having a good time. Right.
I remember I saw her like.

Speaker 5 (52:53):
Years years after and I was at the mall Short
Hills and she was there and still not married, you
know whatever, a single girl and I'm with my wife.
My wife's just smoke show on the outside, but inside
it's a house horrors.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
It's just dead.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
Oh my god, think about the worst thing. That's the insider, right,
just death inside. Beautiful on the outside. Wow, everyone's like, wow,
your wife on my cad lava and bones.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Inside it's how Sahar is rotten. Inside it's a black hole,
just sucking up. The universe is just crushing stars.

Speaker 5 (53:28):
And dreams and crushing dreams and stars, right, And this
goes the complete opposite it.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
She's an angel inside and I see it them all.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Yah.

Speaker 5 (53:40):
I'm with my my cross crossing that I have to bear,
and I see this going on, and she's online Starbucks
and I'm.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Like hey, she's like, hey, how are you.

Speaker 5 (53:50):
My wife looked at her from up and down and
just kept going on her phone like didn't.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Even bother her.

Speaker 5 (53:55):
I said, Wow, this is per Like in my mind,
I started thinking like this is a fair material right here,
because I.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Can literally bring this person to the house. My wife
doesn't see ugly people. She doesn't even see them. It's
like they're invisible. He can't possibly.

Speaker 5 (54:08):
Now he's into green contacts and hairt sentience.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Are you brutal?

Speaker 5 (54:20):
And uh I saw it and I still felt I
got I got tingly because I remembered how good she
was that.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Something, Yeah, it would get the juices that the juices going.
I was like, hey girl, hey, hey girl. Was that
we only did the under the boat thing once?

Speaker 6 (54:34):
And then the under the boat thing is that's a
brilliant that's a brilliant move.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Under the boat you always got a place to go,
always always nobody goes there.

Speaker 6 (54:46):
But then again, like having sex on on the beach,
it's it's it's very overrated.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
It's very You're gonna get it has a way to do.
You're gonna get sand no matter your ship hurts. For well,
the biggest prompt that people do is remove their clothes. Right.
You can't Okay, you can take a little piece of
her out or whatever, but you're gonna have to slide
things out, slide alright, move everything to the side.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
You're gonna how you don't if you if you take
your clothes off, you're gonna be sandman, right, and you're
gonna burn everything and ruin everything.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
And then it's it's like having sex with sandpaper exactly. Okay,
this one, I gotta know one? Is this another? Oh
my god? Can I read that one?

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Seriously?

Speaker 1 (55:31):
When am I gonna see you? Right now? I'm in
the city today? Done? There you go so single, Carl
is uh?

Speaker 6 (55:44):
It's fun to see like, I don't know how many
months ago it was you were in deep depression, like
what the fuck just happened?

Speaker 1 (55:52):
And now to see it today, it's kind of fun.
A good time. You've turned it around. I turned it around,
turned it around a little bit to be one hundred grand.
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna do? But
I have I'm having fun? Wait what were you saying
before that?

Speaker 5 (56:06):
Oh, you can't have You can't take your clothes off
and have sex on the beach because you have you
have sand.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Everywhere, right, you can't do it. But it's just a
couple of grains, will fucking ruin it.

Speaker 5 (56:15):
But usually on the boat, the boats are wet, the
stands kind of how hard packed them too. There you'll
be fine, all right, but but but don't don't take
your clothes off and you'll be one hundred percent. But
you're not looking to change your life there right when
you have sextion to the boat.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
That's just the breach. Let's just start the relationship, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (56:31):
Yeah, Like once they're like once you had sex with them,
It's like, okay, now I can start talking to you
like I want to.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Like I could just like be at a party. I whisper,
rip your pants off, get in that bathroom, like then
it starts. Then the MMA, so the ground and pounds
starts the ground and pound.

Speaker 5 (56:46):
Yeah, like I would get to my m I was
so funy, like everybody just wanted to party till like
three o'clock in the morning. I would only party till
midnight and then until I took a girl home, and
everybody else wanted to be there, Like, dude, you missed that?
Go I missed? What doing another kechstand right? John shitting
in the bay again?

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Like what did I miss? I miss nothing? I'm one
hundred percent with you. In college, I was the same way.
I'm like, this girl seems like she wants to have
a little fun.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
Why the fuck am I gonna wait until you know
closing time?

Speaker 5 (57:14):
Yeah, you'll never see me at last call right like
twelve o'clock. I start, you know, I start with the
a's that I've been I was talking to since nine.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Maybe they're gonna work. Maybe they're not hot girls. You
never know.

Speaker 5 (57:27):
It's a crap shoot yeah right, yeah, yeah. And then
you have the fallbacks, you know, the one that was
sleeping at the bar. Nudge her up a little bit, Hey, ma,
let's go. You like hot dogs. You're a little nudge boot.
You can't get her motor running again?

Speaker 6 (57:43):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (57:44):
What happened? We're going from some dish. Get in the car,
pull her head out of a bowl and walk a ball.
Wipe the fahat off her face down for this shit?

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Or what?

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Hansen? Let's go get in the car. You're driving. Nothing
out manica about it at all. You want to do this,
Let's do it. You're in, You're in. Oh fuck, that's
funny man.

Speaker 6 (58:09):
Anyway, what else about Fall?

Speaker 1 (58:12):
I think we did the fall thing even though we
weren't trying. Where. Yeah, with Fall Foliage where I live.
It's beautiful. See you like it right? I think it's beautiful.
See when I lived in Boston, I used to love
I wish I could remember the name of the road.

Speaker 6 (58:26):
It was a really long sounding name, but way up
in the hills of the mountains of New Hampshire. It
was gorgeous, and then all of a sudden, all the
cars would pull off to the side of the road,
and that man, a moose was nearby, and everyone run
out of their cars trying to, you know, to get
a glimpse.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Of a moose. What's wrong with that? Who cares?

Speaker 6 (58:45):
I've never seen a moose. Even with the cars pulled
to the side of the road. I was never quick enough.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
I'll kill you. They'll kill you. El is like that, right,
we got chased.

Speaker 6 (58:57):
I was in the whole rainforest and Seattle, Washington, the
whole rainforest.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
I've been at the whole rainforest. What's mommy, Welcome through
the rain forest? Main. I was in the whole rainforest.
Say it every time. I love it. Looking up online,
it's every shade of green you can imagine.

Speaker 6 (59:23):
It was amazing, to be honest with you, and I
I went with my friend John.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
We were visiting him after he left Boston for another
radio job. A bunch of us went.

Speaker 6 (59:31):
To see and make sure he was doing all right.
We went to the whole rainforest and we saw Elk.
So we started trying to, you know, uh, get close
to him. These motherfucking elk turned around and said fuck
you and charged us. Carl, is that another another one
or the same one?

Speaker 1 (59:49):
You got a problem air traffic? You got some air
traffic problems. How are you gonna handle that? Numbers came?
What time we're coming in? We'll tell the one. You
got to de ice to play talking to the other one. Yet, Oh,
I say you can't. That's that's how you get, right.

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
But anyway you get the double text, that's how you
get That's how I got hit the other day.

Speaker 6 (01:00:08):
I understand my elk story was boring, but I didn't
expect you to look at your phone.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
But anyway, No, but the elk, it was a long story.
It was like I learned a long time ago to
talk really fast. In front of you is his attention.
You're at the whole forest. A lot of colors are green, gorgeous,
but you didn't see it.

Speaker 6 (01:00:28):
He No, we saw a bunch of elk, me and
my my buddy John, and we decided to approach and
try to get as close to the elk as possible
to get some cool pictures. And uh, these fucking things
turn around and say, get no fucking way is this
going down, and charged us and now we're trying to
hurdle these giant trees that fell down like two hundred
years ago, which have giant trees growing out of a tree.

(01:00:53):
That's when you realize how insignificant you actually are. Yeah,
and we're tough animal, man, and we're trying to get
over these trees and get to the safe area.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
But you know, they never got us obviously, or came close.
But it scared the ship. They just kind of make noises.

Speaker 9 (01:01:09):
Hey, Robert, what's going on? We love the lounge man.
We mentioned it earlier during this podcast. We took down
the stupid poster though I hate Green Bay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
Huh, I hate Green Bay. That's not Green Bay. It's
not Green Bay. It's the North Dakota.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
These are four mechanics from NAPA Autoports North Dakota.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
It's North Dakota State University. I guess they won the
Division two championship. I grew up in New Jersey.

Speaker 12 (01:01:37):
We don't have college football.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Why are we hanging out on the one? They just
in the New Opia Radio lounge.

Speaker 12 (01:01:42):
Would you like would you like Diamond Dave? We have
Diamond Dave in the hall.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Yeah, let's do Diamond Day. And by the way, uh,
you know the autograph guitar in the hallway.

Speaker 6 (01:01:51):
Yeah, the Aaron clapped in autograph got smudged a little
bit because someone decided to play the guitar.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Oh look at that. Oh there's David Lee Roth going
up on the wall. Yeah, we can handle that. What
year is that from Robert no idea.

Speaker 12 (01:02:04):
They just put a bunch of stuff around the halls
here at Westwood One. There is a refrigerator in that
little room over there that Michael have to stock.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
But wait, you got us a fridge too. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:02:16):
See we walked in and I haven't seen Carl a
little bit, so I just turned the zoom on and
we I guess we did a podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
We weren't even we weren't even trying to do this. Wait, wait,
so we gotta we got a fridge. Yeah, we got
your fridge. So we got a lounge which you were
sitting in. Then we got a traditional studio over there,
and then and what is that room gonna be?

Speaker 12 (01:02:34):
Well that well, that's just an empty room right there.
But that had an outlet. And I didn't want the
refrigerator because it makes noise. So you don't want to
put the refrigerator where the microphones.

Speaker 6 (01:02:43):
I got a real question and don't answer because you
think you know we're doing a podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
So so I'm.

Speaker 6 (01:02:49):
Gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna like, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
Gonna answer this the cool way. Did you bring my rainjact?

Speaker 6 (01:02:54):
What are the odds of us being allowed to smoke
pot of here?

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
I don't care? No, I know you don't care. But
who would care? Because this whole area is tucked away? Nice.

Speaker 13 (01:03:06):
Mike's the cop care guy with the gun in the badge,
stupid surfer go so we could probably smoke pot here.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
Let's take this. I can. I can make ten grand
robin drug dealer quickly, right, Mike. We gotta pay a
few bills, but I pull this thing out. I don't
even know pet.

Speaker 12 (01:03:37):
Is I just I don't know. I would be I
would be afraid to put the gun near the gun.
That's just me nice, But then I'm clumsy. Yeah, and
you know with vapor, you know you have no idea
what it is?

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
All right? Good, that's good to know.

Speaker 6 (01:03:49):
Yeah, Mike, can I tell Mike wears shorts all the time,
which is creepy in its own right.

Speaker 5 (01:03:53):
Thick on the bottom is he He's got like.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
He's a little thick on the bar. It's got a
big booty. The girl I brought here to the day
mentioned how he had a little thickness going on.

Speaker 6 (01:04:04):
You haven't lived until you've seen that gun fall out
of his pants on the floor through his shorts leg and.

Speaker 5 (01:04:10):
It's like a regular Giants New York Giants players to
shut him the club.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
He's thick on the bottom. Huh, you got a little
thickness there. The girl I was with the other day
was checking him out. Yeah, Roberts. She said he was
a cutie. Robert about that. You did a great job.
Thank you for real job. This now feels like our home.

Speaker 6 (01:04:33):
This it's a tiny Lounge's not gonna lie to you,
but it's it's awesome. And then a traditional studio and
a fridge and we can vapeay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
We con vavee fape.

Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
Why don't you vape like the regular cigarettes and joints?

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Is? I think that's normal? Yeah. I like the feeling
of it, the artisanal feeling of what about edibles? We're fine, problems.
How have you been, Robert, I'm good.

Speaker 12 (01:05:06):
Tim has been away all week, so it's uh.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
He's in Baja California, right.

Speaker 12 (01:05:10):
He's been racing dune buggies and motorcycles and I get these,
Uh really what he's doing. Yeah, absolutely, he's been sending
these clips of him like my brother the whole time.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Yeah, imagine his taints after two buggy rides. Imagine the
middles of desert.

Speaker 5 (01:05:27):
Imagine those two little sour Patch kids that he has
down there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
They're to be screaming for him.

Speaker 5 (01:05:33):
Oh my god, his taint, that that desert taint must
be insane.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
I mean hot garbage. Man.

Speaker 5 (01:05:45):
My seagulls flying around them, It's gonna look like a
fruit roller.

Speaker 9 (01:05:49):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Oh god, I'm out. You're out disgusting that length too.

Speaker 5 (01:06:01):
You know, he's got that fucking runway length taint.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Half a ruler. He's just throwing his underpants out the desert.
I'm stuck on a cactus.

Speaker 5 (01:06:13):
Maybe ten miles is a very underpants on a cactus,
fucking buzzards pecking at it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Robert, I don't know why I always bring up to
we loved him, I missed him though. He'll be back.

Speaker 12 (01:06:29):
He'll be back next week.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
He'll be back next week. All right, I'm gonna move
for Mickey. Let's go do some Mickey days all right,
I guess we did it. That was a good one.
That was a fun podcast. Let me tell you in
this room, I'm very comfortable in this room. I like it. Yeah,
it's really nice. And Robert was right, the sound is
perfect in here. Yeah, banged it out, Robert, we banged
out a podcast. Support chef on the Instagram. What else there, Carl?

(01:06:55):
Anybody wants to date me? Holler at my d ms
hollick you out thick. But Mikey, how do you play
with his badge? I noticed I didn't trust him with
the microphones for this episode. Someone had to bring it up.

Speaker 6 (01:07:13):
Anyway, are you are you doing any of those fall
activities Robert?

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
Before we turn this off, that's what we talked about today.
Fall activity. Yeah, like apple.

Speaker 6 (01:07:21):
Picking, pumpkin picking, looking at the leaves changing?

Speaker 12 (01:07:27):
Yeah, I think leaves changing? Sure, why not? I'm not
a big apple picking guy. But you know, if a
girl wants to do that, then you kind of go
for the ride on that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
Do you have another creepy girl story to end this?
Oh my god? That one he did a few episodes back.
It was great. You got another one in?

Speaker 12 (01:07:44):
Yeah, all right, I got one for you. I had
I just moved to Jersey City about twelve years ago.
And so I'm in a bar and this girl comes
up and she says, uh, hey, can I kiss you?
Like just out of the blue. That was my response.
I think I'm being set up? Or I said, you know,

(01:08:06):
did my buddy Ben.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Sets up for this?

Speaker 6 (01:08:08):
No?

Speaker 12 (01:08:08):
I no, no, no, I said, Well what she goes, well,
I have a bet going with my friends over there
that that they'll give me twenty dollars for every guy
I can kiss. I said, is it every guy or
twenty dollars a kiss? And she goes, I don't know.
She goes back, she goes, that's actually twenty dollars a kiss.
I'm like, well, let's make you some money. So I
don't know. She netted two hundred that just in that session.
And then we started the institution story.

Speaker 5 (01:08:30):
Lock him Up, Wrap it Up, Joey, Lock him up, Mike, Joey,
Wrap it up, Wrap it up. Back page Robert, So
you just re engineered a home.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
That's a horror story remix.

Speaker 12 (01:08:47):
So we were hanging out, spent a couple of weeks
hanging out, and then she comes back, uh to my place,
and one night and she we're getting into it and
she says, uh, do you have a yard stick?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Are you still throwing the twenties out?

Speaker 9 (01:08:59):
This is.

Speaker 12 (01:09:02):
Well, I didn't have to pay her. Her friends were paying.
I was, yeah, I don't know. I didn't have to
pay her friends were paying her. So she says, come
back to my house. We're getting into it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
And she asked.

Speaker 12 (01:09:12):
I don't remember her name, but she says, do you
have a yardstick? And I said, I thought that was
a myth.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
You know what?

Speaker 12 (01:09:19):
Do you need the ar She goes, no, I want
you to hit me with it?

Speaker 6 (01:09:21):
What?

Speaker 12 (01:09:23):
At that point, I was like, uh, I don't really
know you that well. I think I barely remember your
last name.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
I'll come in wound up. I'll come in wound up. Yeah,
you'll come in hot rock Caru.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Come.

Speaker 5 (01:09:36):
You'll come in like Sully in Syliburger, strike everyone out.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Sully's got things to do.

Speaker 12 (01:09:46):
I did the Oh, you know, I get a meeting
in the morning. I'm gonna I gotta you gotta go,
you know, I just you know, you got to build
up a relationship with somebody. You gotta trust them before
you start whacking them with.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
The yard waking a high five too right ahead?

Speaker 12 (01:10:03):
But then she kept calling for weeks afterwards like that
was that was her whole thing. She wanted to get in.
So I thought I passed that test, but she really
wanted to be into this like real weird ship.

Speaker 1 (01:10:13):
That again.

Speaker 12 (01:10:14):
I just you know, run when you brough. But it
was like six months where she just would not stop calling.
So if you want to get hit and you keep calling,
that's sixteen alarm bells right there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
That on me, No problem. You went with it. I
looked at he says, honey, you don't have to ask
whatever you want to do. If it's that bad, we'll
work it out later. We're gonna close. We're closing this.
And that was it, and I dealt with it.

Speaker 5 (01:10:43):
And it was like, you know, she cheked a lot
of water, so it was kind of It wasn't like
if I you're gonna from it's like a skunk in
a whole way.

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
You're gonna take your tomato juice mats for a month.
It's gonna smell like a.

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
Basement after a hurricane.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
Oh my god, a hot wet book in there. But
it was is that is that a turn on? I
guess if it turns her on, it turns her turn.

Speaker 6 (01:11:14):
Yeah, we understand that part, but she was I but
is it a turn on for you?

Speaker 5 (01:11:17):
Well, because it got her gulling even more, of course,
But I mean the actual act.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
I dealt with it. You dealt with it. I ended
up liking it after a while because they get her
all nuts.

Speaker 5 (01:11:25):
Yeah, but you just have to know where you were
because you ruin everything. You don't mean you have to
because it would you know, it starts It's like a
gateway drug. They started in the shower and then it
starts moving all over the house.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Now you got a murder scene everywhere.

Speaker 12 (01:11:38):
There's there's peripherals you need, you need what is it?
You know, plastic sheeting.

Speaker 5 (01:11:42):
And you know, we go into my rooms and just
have a biss.

Speaker 6 (01:11:47):
Look at look at Robert and make him believe he
doesn't do this every weekend.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
I think, what what you do is you go to
home depot right Aisle six. You know John, he goes
to Sam's Club for heavy bags. He's got painters tape everywhere, right,
But I think you, yeah, right, are you remodeling, Robert?

(01:12:12):
Are you repainting your whole house? What are those splatters?
I don't worry about that. What is that funnel. Don't
what do you got to drive back? Why do you
have a French drain in this room? That is some comfort?

(01:12:35):
What goes on here? Pe Palos, Robertson, George, all right, Robert,
we'll go with it.

Speaker 12 (01:12:41):
You think, yes, so I've read, you've read, but you
seem to mike here whispering.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
Julie and I do it a lot. We do, we do?
You do?

Speaker 6 (01:12:49):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
The pen stuff on each other? It started in the shower,
now it goes in the bedroom. We do it.

Speaker 14 (01:12:54):
Look, ye, she's so into it, and like I never
thought about it ever, never one time, like, oh, let's
pee on each other. She brought it up and like,
all right, didn't shower standing up on the foot, And now.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
It's how it starts on the foot. Yeah, and then
I gotta go and now it's like, hey, do you
want to try it? I was weird with the fun
because she looked down at my foot. So you're peeing
all over your bed? No, not the bed, on the floor.

Speaker 14 (01:13:14):
Like we have a wood floor, right, so you know
I lay down the floor warped now and they clean
it up?

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Right? Wait, but do you lay down towels and all that?

Speaker 14 (01:13:22):
Horseship sometimes sometimes it's fun with them.

Speaker 5 (01:13:24):
Saying if you do it, yeah, yeah, you can't prepare
you guys, just do it. So I would start preparing
I had a roommate, doesn't make sense.

Speaker 14 (01:13:32):
It lose the moment. I got to pay hold on
to get the towels. So sometimes you have to go
with it, and then you feel ridiculous. They have to
wards with a swifter.

Speaker 5 (01:13:38):
Yeah, like, oh my god, what I hated my roommate.

Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
So when he wasn't home, it was peefest be honest,
like the is going on my room? Stinch my yeah,
I'm like, I think the dog. Win's like, we don't
have one. I've talked about that over the years.

Speaker 6 (01:13:55):
When you get really really kicking and you got sex
toys and all that horseship.

Speaker 1 (01:13:58):
In the moment, it makes sense.

Speaker 6 (01:13:59):
But then when both of you calm, now looks completely ridiculous,
and now you're putting it in the dishwalks, it's the worst.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
Like all of a sudden, I come in and I'm like,
I'm dressed like a fireman. Could be worse. It could
be a fairy. That's Tuesday. Oh my god, that's crazy. Ship.
Look at Robert giving us a little energy. At the
end of the podcast, Robert Day, all right, why don't
we go to Mickey D. Let's go to Mickey's. All right,

(01:14:27):
We're gonna go to Mickey D's. This was fun, man happy,
I'm not married. What a waste was? All right? You
know what, Joey take it away, wrap it up, Joey
rapping it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:39):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo
boo boo.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo
boo boo boo.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
Good

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